#gonna be honest it seemed v predictable to me

[cinematicnomad]

i’m just waiting for my friend to finish watching pt1 of you s4 so she can acknowledge that i correctly figured out the identity of the eat the rich killer before even finishing the first episode 

[cachamata]

Kinda curious: who's your fav yan? personally btw. Pls don't feel pressured to answer this! u can ignore it if u want to 🤗 hope u have a good day oreeve!

Oho? Hello, there. I see you on my pixiv as well 👀. Thanks for dropping by here, too :).

To answer your question, the yandere characters that i draw -or had drawn- are usually the ones i like. I've stated in my pinned post back then that i only draw characters or things i like the most, after all. And i'm gonna be honest with you; i could never finish things i'm not interested in :'). Seriously. Not that i hate those who i didn't draw, no. It's just, i can't bring myself to 'feel' if i draw something i don't have strong feelings about.

But, if we're talking about yandere characters that i really like -very personally. Like, very, very personally-, i choose these five yan:

Alexander Danzel from Project infatuation by aspenglen (Original Char is by maskcover, by the way).

Klein from Klein V.0.1 by himeiro.

Ciel from Yandere Love: CoF/Apple for Teacher by ataraxicgames/A.K Fagan.

Double from Binary Star Hero by Concrete Parasite. and,

Unknown Caller from, well, Unknown by bondagebunny. (Let's just call the char like that here).

You might be frowning and questioning my sanity the moment you see three very-morally-deprived yandere there, i know xD. Especially since i put Ciel, Alex, and well, the Unknown Caller in my top 5 fav yandere.

But i specifically and primarily like those five because they have one thing in common: They have a certain Cryptic vibes that draw me in -bruh, what on earth i'm talking about-. Ciel and 'The Unknwon Caller' are even more so. And also, i'm always weak for 'a walking contradictive' kind of a character.

Let's talk about it one by one why i like them five personally, my pal :). -I actually have 10, but that would be too long to read-.

First, Klein;

He's soft, but he could get out of that zone and did that murderous thing if MC acted in the way he… didn't like or couldn't predicted (?). So cute, but so, so dangerous; i like it. A lot. I actually didn't expect it when i got that scary jumpscare and horror revelation. And when he hurt Yael that bad? And killed Sera? I'm shook. My cutie is so unexpected, like, what on earth.

I like how the developer manage to pull the horror element so smoothly and make Klein so scary. And the thing i like the most about Klein is even though he's a soft cutie, he's so confident -'of course, he's a bot', said you. But that's not my point here xD-. My second point liking Klein so much is because i have this weakness when it comes to machine engineering and yandere theme. A Bot who can be obsessed over you and could be that scary? Klein win my heart at the first sight. I mean, look at him. So adorable and could flip into something so dangerous real quick.

.

Second, Alex;

He's stoic and so calm. When i first played Project Infatuation, i was actually interested in Kaito - because he's smart. I have a thing for smart character too xD. But, like Saki and Lala said, "We're weak with stoic type, MC", Alex manage to caught my whole interest from the first half of gameplay until the end. He may seem the type who wouldn't hurt MC at all -since Ryo and Kaito have the look for it, gyahaha-, but he was the one who could. Stabbing MC? Check. Hitting MC's head against a cabinet? My wig fell off, friend.

Actually, Jin is more dangerous than Alex, but i personally don't like yandere characters who could be very easily manipulated.

.

Third, Ciel;

Pal, don't get me started on this one. In my whole visual-novel-gaming phase, especially when playing Yandere-themed games, the yandere usually try to catch MC's interest; by being kind, nice, polite, easy-going - overall approachable and a good shoulder for MC to lean on. But Ciel built different. This guy is obsessed with the MC but also always say things it is the way it is to MC. He's honest from hair to toe and never sugar-coat things even with the MC - no matter how brutal or hurtful it is.

And all i can say is this: If you're looking for a Yandere who could be a potential sugar papa -haha, what-, definitely would bully you 24/7 with cutting-tongue, smart to boot, a bit Tsun-Tsun, and if you're also weak for enemies-to-lovers trope -though this is in a very wrong context with him-, Ciel is your man. I actually have played his chapters and the other side stories, so… i would say Ciel is actually, indeed, a little bit Tsundere with MC. Just a little bit, which means no blushing and more of like, dodging things. I personally like him because he's a walking contradictive; a yandere who bullied you instead of trying to make you feel welcomed or wanted since the start? I love it.

.

Fourth, Double;

Similar to Ciel but more doting and… crazier. I like it when my darling yan is a criminal too -bro, my moral plunged too deep into valhalla at this point-.

Double also has this resilient and persistent personality that i like a lot. And i love a yan who knows what they want, how they want, and when to get it; Double has those traits coupled with his ability to use whatever resource available up his sleeve. Efficient yan and straight-to-the-point, it win me over smoothly -chef's kiss-.

.

And last, 'The Unknown Caller';

The thing i like about this guy is he doesn't hesitate to be rough, but, when MC is accidentally injured, he would switch to panic mode. Kinda funny to watch, but i feel pity for him :'). But what really win me over is his dynamic with mc. Half of the game filled with, like, their strange but comedic dynamic. And this scene in particular is my favorite:

.

.

And thanks for the ask! :). Sorry for the rambling, though.

[elvenbeard]

Since Kerry mentions during Boat Drinks that his guru told him a loop was about to come to an end, I couldn't help but wonder if, in his state of mind at the time, he was convinced that that end of the loop meant the end of his life.

Because, let's be honest, he couldn't have predicted or expected what would happen instead. I think "my long-dead best friend is gonna come talk to me in the shape of some weird kid and the crazy events that follow will give me an entirely new and hopeful perspective on life (and, based on V's decisions, even give him another shot at love and a serious connection he has been craving so much), is the last thing anyone could predict. When you're already depressed and everything seems to be going wrong, someone you confide in and ask advice from telling you "something's gonna come to an end"... yeah. Something for sure, but definitely not all the bad things that have been haunting me for 50+ years.

[troglobite]

random thoughts abt the shows i'm watching don't judge me for what shows i'm watching

i am impatient to see how That Plotline in t/d l/sso is gonna work out.

but it is interesting. so 8 episodes left, 8 weeks left.

and everything is up in the air. kind of unsettling but also compelling. it's nice that i can't actually predict what they're going to do with most of the characters. there are some things i'm sure of (trent is not going to out colin) some things i'm like "it would make sense, but not putting all my eggs in that basket yet..." (trent coming out, himself, and being like ??? y'all didn't know?) and everything else i'm like goddamn i literally have no clue (sam? rebecca? bex? keeley? zava? ted's Entire Situation?)

i didn't like at all michelle's face at the end of the episode & how we're just supposed to be like "good for ted voicing his feelings abt how what she did was scummy as fuck, but in his frustratingly calm way"

like. she's just. what, happy that he's now starting to be honest abt when he's upset? like i get that. but my Hetero Nonsense Instincts kicked in and i'm IMMEDIATELY worried he's gonna get back together with her. normally i'd say that's unlikely to happen w this show, but christ, the straights are fucking unpredictable. so much so that i'm also a little bit worried that rebecca's gonna end up with ted. both would Fucking Terrible Outcomes, story-wise and character-wise, and this is the final season, so i hope they don't fuck it up.

i also think the team getting so many red cards in the second half was kind of. pushing it. like yeah yeah, "lesson learned", fighting from a place of only hatred and anger--especially when it's FRESH--isn't great. but that was. laying it on a little thick. i don't think ted is the kind of person who ever really needs to be in the 'i told you so' position, and i didn't particularly like it. felt like a weird plot for that episode.

but i'm also just in a weird mood and having the colin, michael, and trent situation has me like 👀👀👀 so y'know lol

anyway also season two of sh/dow and b/ne is SO MUCH BETTER THAN FIRST SEASON.

we just made it to episode 7 and quite frankly i am So Tired of alina.

if i understand correctly, the first books were JUST abt her & her entire story?

how did anyone stand that. or did the show just make her so much worse?

i'm just frustrated by the cluelessness and...like... aughaughadgjalsdkfj

for a minute there i was much more compelled by her and her story. she didn't drive me up the wall.

and episode 7 sort of sent her careening again. they end on a cliffhanger--objectively useless given they released all 8 episodes at once--and i'm like "yeah right as fucking if, i know how this is gonna go down, it's v silly"

i mean it's NOT, but also.

you're telling me the wraith, inej, is just STANDING THERE WITH THE SWORD OF LEGEND DOING NOTHING?

yeah okay. c'mon, inej. as if. esp w nina and zoya there, too, like what the fuck.

Everybody Is Fucking Stupid

also it's always a little //shrug when you can see character deaths coming from a mile away.

it's why i LOVED a couple of the middle season episodes--

spoilers, i guess, if you care

but i did NOT see baghra's death coming! that was a shock, but it made so much sense! it was narratively compelling, it created an interesting timer and plot element, etc. very cool.

episode 7, though?

yeah no i knew nikolai's bestie was gonna eat it. i knew david would fucking sacrifice himself like a dipshit, bc narrative balance or whatever, bc he thinks he owe genya or some shit.

it does seem though like maybe this main plot about the fold will be over in the final episode, so if they continue making this show i'd LOVE to keep watching

bc i'm tired of kirigan (ben b/rnes does an incredible job making his silly little lines sound almost actually foreboding--but he basically sells it, bc he comes off as a powerhungry childish man who buys his own bullshit, so job well done) and i'm REALLY tired of alina.

i LOVE nikolai, i think he's very cool. i think they fucking clipped his wings when they made him love alina--SHE'S SO BORING AND ANNOYING, WHAT DO YOU ALL EVEN SEE IN HER?!

i'm literally a lesbian and every other woman character on this show is more interesting and compelling and has more personality than her.

poor girl. her personality boils down to selfish, clueless, obstinate, changeable. that is. about it.

it's just sort of wild.

for a minute there in season two it was like "oh okay. i'm beginning to understand her, now. she's been through a lot, and it's finally showing."

and then we swung right back around to "right, yeah. selfish and emotionally immature shortsighted dipshit. alas."

imagine if literally any other character in the show was the sun summoner. my god. kaz? inej? that would be fucking wild. i love it.

obviously that's not the case bc the books and there's a lot more going on--i'm just saying, narratively and character-wise, they're WAY more interesting and compelling than alina. which is a fucking shame. lol

but i am interested to see how this season ends.

i'd LOVE to keep watching a show abt the crows.

and for the most part i'd just love it if everybody stopped being like. carelessly stupid.

you really didn't think kirigan was going to create a diversion and instead seek to ambush you where you are? you really didn't think that they'd try and get amplifiers, too, or at least be tactically trained? you REALLY think they didn't know about your fucking GIANT NOISY AIRSHIP?

and then also did you REALLY think he wasn't going to immediately go for mal in any circumstance?

you really thought your fort, not far from the fold, was going to be safe from the fold when it's been moving and expanding further for months?

and you REALLY thought, alina, that going to the place where it all began in the heart of the fold WOULDN'T MEAN RUNNING INTO KIRIGAN?!

also why the fuck wasn't inej just swirling around with this sword of legend?! christ.

ANYWAY.

other than that great world and story and just overall very cool.

[tanadrin]

Honest question: how do you expect anyone to build a life that will be just fine irrespective of politics?Everything in my life which I’ve used to try and deal with shit has been destroyed by this pandemic, and the country is about to reelect the demagogue whose policy has been making that worse. This isn’t catastrophizing - the situation is a catastrophe. Is the solution just “move to a different country lol?” Because I imagine you know that’s actually rather hard.

if you’re American, and by “reelect the demagogue whose policy has been making that worse” you mean Trump

(if you’re not, and are referring to some other demagogue-led country, ignore this bit)

then I have to point out that 538 is giving Trump about a 12% chance right now, and he’s behind in both national and swing-state polls, and while 12% is not nothing, it is also only a 12% chance. multiply all pessimism contingent on a Trump victory by 12%, and all potential optimism contingent on a Biden victory by 88%. Remember that even a 2016-sized polling error does not give Trump a greater than 50% probability of winning; a Trump victory would require a Dewey-beats-Truman sized polling error, and while that’s happened before (when Truman beat Dewey, natch), it’s happened once before in the era of modern Presidential election polling. The odds right now of Democrats winning the Presidency, holding the House, and having a slim majority in the Senate are at about 70% (again, per recent 538 reporting), so catastrophism about the outcome of the American election is... well, catastrophism! Because the situation the US is facing is not actually catastrophe.

I know dirtbag left doomerism is popular on Twitter these days, but it’s, pardon my uncharitability, fucking stupid and just as divorced from reality as Fox News-poisoned right-wing conspiracism. On balance the likely outcome of this election is Democratic control of the legislative and executive branches, and--though this would be contingent on a strong Dem majority in the Senate, and popular appetite for it--there’s a nonzero chance of Dems packing SCOTUS and having control of all three branches of government. Small chance, to be sure, but far, far larger than it’s ever been in my lifetime.

(and if you think ACB being confirmed means a 99% chance that SCOTUS will steal the election... that is also stupid. the supreme court is only relevant in a handful of very specific circumstances where the election is nearly a tie, and those are not very likely circumstances! it would be very bad if we got Bush v Gore 2.0, yes; and being concerned about SCOTUS picks to avoid that kind of thing is reasonable; but letting fear of that scenario dominate your predictions for how the election will turn out would be extremely fucking stupid. I would put more money on the Dems packing the court in 2021 than I would on the court deciding the 2020 election. Not a lot, you understand; but I’d much sooner bet 50 euro on the former than the latter.)

(again, if you’re not American, ignore all the above; but AFAIK other likely demagogue led-countries you might be from, like Brazil, Poland, Hungary, Russia, the Philippines, and the UK, do not have upcoming elections.)

You build a life with meaning outside of politics the same way you build a life with meaning in general. Dan Savage (yeah yeah I know) talks about this w/r/t people who are lonely and have no short-term, or even long-term, prospects of a romantic relationship. You read, you have hobbies, you make friends, you refuse to let bitterness and rage consume you--and in this day and age, you get off social media, if that’s where your bitterness and rage is coming from--and you develop yourself as a well-rounded person so that if you do stumble into a scenario where a romantic relationship seems possible, you are an interesting and fun person to be in a relationship with, because you have a full and complete life outside that relationship.

So too with any other sphere of life. If thoughts of politics and anger against politicians is consuming your life, fucking stop consuming news about politics. It’s not doing you any good. By all means, vote in elections, even volunteer for political organizations, but also read, cultivate hobbies, make friends, get out of the house, get in shape, learn to bake--find out who you are in all areas of life besides the one making you miserable, in short. Yeah, coronavirus makes all this harder. It doesn’t make any of it impossible. I know it’s driving us all a little crazy--me included, and I’m a married Extremely Online homebody--but it won’t last forever. And you get to choose what to do with yourself in the meantime. You get to choose how consumed with resentment and frustration at the world you’re gonna be. You get to choose every day whether you’re going to let the fear that nothing is possible for you govern your behavior, or whether you’re going to try to accomplish something (however difficult, however small) despite the circumstances around you.

If you write 300 words a day--a short newspaper column--then in six or seven months you’ll have a novel. If you do 20 minutes of exercise a day, in six months you could be in the best shape of your life. If you spend an hour a day playing with Python, in six months you could be a fairly competent programmer. And so on and so forth. Mutatis mutandis, as far as the things you’re actually interested in, but the underlying point holds: just because the world feels like it’s going to hell in a handbasket doesn’t mean you can’t build up your life in other areas. The ‘rona doesn’t stop you from having an online or socially-distanced book club, or from hanging out with friends outdoors, or from getting drunk on raid night with your WoW guild (A++ can recommend, btw).

And if you really can’t, if the anxiety or the anger or the worry or the sheer overwhelming weight of it all means you can’t even manage modest effort in the things you care about, you should assign a much greater likelihood to the possibility that your brain is broken, that your thoughts are lying to you (they do that sometimes!) and that your life might be greatly improved by some combination of anti-anxiety medication/antidepressants and talk therapy. Because God is dead, depressive realism is horseshit, and we have to make our own meaning in the world; and the human brain is, in fact, usually very good at that when it’s firing on all cylinders.

[pinkplantmakesstuff]

[Sat opposite me is none other then The Commander himself. We are in my office; surrounded by stacks of notebooks and stationary, this is no battlefield and it's clear The Commander is currently out of his depth.

I will admit I was shocked when he agreed to an interview; the Commander is infamously secretive about his private life and personal affairs, and there are terrible rumours about his foul temper and monstrous appearance. Sat opposite me however, is a young, world-weary man]

Exclusive interview continues under the Read More...

Let's start with some introductory questions, can you introduce yourself?

[There's a pause before he finally speaks, he's surprisingly soft spoken.] My name's Alec. [He looks at me, and I have to prompt him for more] Oh I see. Uh people refer to me as the Commander, but I'm, not really? I don't, well I don't belong to the Pact anymore? But apparently the title stuck. And I just, end up helpin' with stuff still. [He shifts uncomfortably, and I need to know what brought him to my office today, why he's changed his mind before I continue with the more personal questions.]

So, Commander, what's changed? Why an interview now? After refusing to talk to any journalists for so long, what caused this change of heart?

[There's a another long pause.] Well, I mean...a couple of people told me it might be...good for appearances, to you know talk to one of you people, instead of just... lettin' everyone make stuff up about me all the time. [I assume he means the rumours that make up most of his public perception - like the idea his mouth is full of flesh-tearing fangs- which I can now confirm to be false. He may have pointed fangs but they are small, and he seems more interested in gnawing at his own lip.] Oh, uh and you can just call me Alec I guess.

Well thank you for choosing to speak to me Comman-Alec, now lets move onto the more personal stuff; what is your gender identity, orientation and relationship status?

[This seems to catch him off guard.] That, that is kind of, personal. [He grimaces and draws his arm tightly across his chest. "You said you didn't want people to make stuff up about you anymore, why don't you tell people so they know the real you."] I, well, ok. [He gives a defeated sigh but it seems I've swayed him around for now at least] Uh I'm a guy and I like other men. And, uh, there, might be someone. He's...[Alec mulls over his words for a minute, the "fearsome" fangs nibbling at his own mouth again] well he's like, there's a connection? It's hard to explain. ["You've just disappointed many potential suitors I suspect!" At this he lets out a surprised laugh, as if he can't believe what I said. "Is this potential someone your fearsome companion you've been rumoured to be spotted with? With fangs and horns even greater then your own?" At this he frowns, folding his arm in again.] He's not fearsome he's just, well he's great. [I've clearly struck a nerve so I choose to move on.]

Where and when were you born?

[Another one-armed shrug.] Dunno. Some small place. Don't remember it, don't care. And uh, I'm like, well I think I'm twenty? Something like that I don't know my birthday. I think it's in Winter. [At this it was mine turn to let out an incredulous laugh - which I admit was unprofessional of me. "I knew you seemed young but, only twenty? That's, you've done a lot for someone so young." There's another, lengthier pause.] S'pose so. [He doesn't comment on this further.]

Here's something you should know plenty about! What is your weapon of choice and fighting style?

[He narrows his eyes at me, and then tilts his head thoughtfully. For a moment I thought he was going to demonstrate his magical capabilities I've heard so much about but then he simply shakes his head, a if deciding against it.] Magic. People don't like it. ["Yes I've heard the rumours of your powerful necromancy, as well as the tales of you being able to transform-" He cuts me off] I fight with magic. [Again I've struck another nerve, but I don't blame him. The rumour-mill has been particularly unkind to this young man, and it's no secret how many people view darker aspects of magic unfavourably.]

Lastly, for these introduction questions, are you happy?

[We sit there in silence for several minutes, and it seems he has no answer for me. I decide to move on quickly.]

Let's move onto the people in your life! What’s your family like? What is your relationship with them?

Uh, I don't. Well my family is, well she's a baker. We grew up together. And V-my... partner? [He catches himself, clearly trying to protect keep them anonymous.] I don't have any other family I guess. But, I'd do anythin' to keep them safe. [I don't push further but it's clear the Commander's family means as much to him as the next person. Something the rumours have lead people to believe is not the case.]

Have you ever ran away from home?

Yeah. When I was a kid. My friend - the baker. We left together. it was better after that. [Alec doesn't elaborate further to begin with, before realising he's only told me part of it.] From an orphanage I mean - it's the same ol' story about kids losin' family to the Risen then being taken into care when I was a baby. We hated it. We got old enough. We ran away.

You mentioned you have a partner, this mysterious V. Would you consider marriage or having children?

[Alec's demeanour almost doesn't change, but I've not spend years in journalism and not learnt how to read people. This question has clearly flustered the young commander.] Uhh, that's, kind of personal. I don't think about stuff like that? I, well it's just nice having someone around more now. [I was about to move on before he interrupts.] But, kids are good, if, I think I'd have liked too, if things had been different.

Let's talk about some juicy gossip! Do you secretly hate one of your friend?

What? [This clearly catches him off-guard, before letting out a bitter laugh.] No. I haven't got enough of those to secretly hate one of 'em. Plenty of people have made it clear how much they hate me though. I wouldn't be surprised if more of them secretly hated me too. [Another short pause, he shifts in his seat and I catch a peek at the small wings sticking out oh his back.] I'm too tired to hate any of them, especially secretly.

I see, so which friend knows everything about you?

[Almost subconsciously he touches his horns, they are short, stubby things.] I don't think, I have- maybe the two I mentioned earlier know the most. It's hard to talk about things. ["Hmm I'd picked up on that." At this he laughs, the minor tension that had started building up eased slightly.] Yeah I'm not great at words and stuff.

The next set of questions are asked my fans! Are you literate? Have you been to school?

Fans? [He shakes his head in disbelief before leaning back in his chair, hair obscuring his face slightly.] The orphanage wasn't much for teachin'. Next question. [I resist the urge to press further.]

The eeriest prediction you made that later came true?

[He seems to spend some time thinking this one over before shaking his head.] Dunno. I guess I just assume most of the people I meet won't stick around long enough to be friends and...well I guess in a way they don't get to stick around I've....I've lost a lot of people. I guess that counts right? [He laughs slightly at this, but it isn't a happy one. Even the commander, who is oft described as cold is clearly affected by the ongoing tragedies he seeks to help stop.]

What is something you were embarrassingly late to realize?

I don't think I realised Sylvari could glow for like, ages. [He puts his hand up to his face slightly but he smiles slightly as he speaks, and it's only now I've realised he's without his infamous blind-fold. I mention this but he shrugs it off.] I still 'ave it. I just, don't want to wear it right now.

Do you have mental health or physical issues?

[He waves the stump of his missing arm, bandages still visible. Everyone's already heard about the fight against the fearsome Jungle dragon that cost him his arm, as well as the Marshall of The Pact .] Does this count? [He makes no mention of his mental health so I try to press further.] I'm fine.

What is your current main goal?

[Alec shakes his head, before shrugging again.] I'm not gonna talk about stuff like that, in case it puts people at risk, it's, well it's stuff that needs doing to help people.

Let's move onto something easy! Some choices! Drink or food?

Food. I like cooking. ["Really? The famous Commander, known and feared on the battlefield, enjoys being in a kitchen?" He smiles slightly and nods.] It's just nice y'know. I like making things a lot.

Cats or dogs?

Cats. Their senses are easier to see through and they can fit in smaller places. [Before I can ask what he means he continues.] I would like a pet one too I think.

Early bird or night owl?

I prefer getting up early, it means I have longer in the day to get stuff done.

Optimist or pessimist?

[He frowns again.] Don't know. I don't think things are ever gonna go very well. [He merely shrugs when I point out that he sounds like a pessimist.]

Sassy or sarcastic?

I wouldn't say I'm either to be honest. ["There have been reports from Queen Jenna's courts that you have been known to make the occasional sarcastic, scathing remark."] Well there are also reports I've got a huge dragon tail but that don't make it true either. [I don't point out that dry remark he made.]

You'll be pleased Alec, we are finally finishing up! Finally it's time for some "Have you evers". Lets start with have you ever been caught sneaking out?

Nope. I used to be unnoticeable, though, that's changed a...little. [He gestures to himself in what I am assuming is reference to his small wings and horns] Like I said earlier though, magic.

Broke a bone?

Nope not that either. ["Really? With your work on the field and from the battles I've heard, you've truly never broken a bone?] I guess that's just the one thing I got goin' for me I guess.

Received flowers?

I don't think so? Wait yeah maybe but they are from people I don't really know as thanks which is nice I guess- I give 'em to...my baker friend coz she likes to display them in her shop.

Ghosted someone?

[There's another pause, it seemed he'd been slowly getting used to speaking to me but this one has him quiet again.] Not....intentionally. Keepin' in contact is hard when you're constantly travelling. And writing is... not one of my greatest talents.

Pretended to laugh at a joke you didn’t get?

Uhh to be honest I probably wouldn't realise it was a joke sometimes', and if I did and I don't get it then maybe they should have told a better joke. [He shrugs and I can't help but laugh at his honesty]

[There you have it readers, an EXCLUSIVE interview with the feared Commander himself. Nothing like the rumours who describe him as "The Beast", The Commander is just another war-weary fighter trying to do what's right.]

Thank you @the-mystic-dragon for tagging me this was so much fun to write! (Even if it took like, an hour, and I massively changed the format XD) This is written as if it's around mid to late lws3 and before PoF as well as in the au with Vasche! Vasche is @resonatingfern's wonderful character and Alec's "mysterious partner" in this. In terms of tagging, if ya wanna do one go ahead! Though I did change the format quite a bit oops XD

[cocogukkie]

2020 in review: kdramas (the heart fluttering, the disappointing, the saviors of 2020)

it’s december 31st! the new year is quite literally upon us (some of y’all are already in 2021) and my procrastinating self has chosen to upload this today. i’ve always loved these rec lists and I wanted to do one for 2020! this year was a rollercoaster for kdramas with some excellent ones and some not so excellent ones. i watched all of these in 2020 but not all of them were released in 2020.

if you want to use my questions to make your own list please do!! or give your favs in the tags, i’d love to read them. (fair warning, some of these have multiple answers bc i just can’t choose one!!)

drama that made me laugh

When The Camellia Blooms (2019)

i finally got around to watching when the camellia blooms this year and it. was. so. funny. oh my goodness, the comedic timing in so many scenes was pure excellency and im kinda mad at myself that i didn’t watch this last year. this isn’t just a comedy for those who are interested, its a thriller/romance but its also so fucking funny. definitely watch this if you want to laugh (and be touched bc the emotional scenes in this one are beautiful)

drama that made me cry

Sweet Home (2020)

hahah….. um this one is gonna go to sweet home friends. i went into this one with zero expectations and the first couple episodes didn’t really wow me? but i kept watching and holy shit fam. this show really picks up story-wise around ep 4 and makes the viewer love a lot of these initially unlikable characters. all i can say is that the end was devastating for me and i cried quite a bit. (warning, there are a lot of mature themes in this one so make sure you look for trigger warnings or send me an ask and i’ll list them all out for you) 

best OST

Itaewon Class (2020) 

i loved the ost for itaewon class!! the music is just so inspirational and pump up music, its so good. my favorites are ‘you make me back�� by woosung and ‘start’ by gaho.

drama with chemistry royalty (aka the best couple) 

i have three for this one because i just cannot choose one. 

It’s Okay To Not Be Okay (2020)

we recognize this one as one of the best things to come out of 2020. go moon young and moon kang tae have some of the best chemistry i have ever seen in a drama couple. i waited on the edge of my seat every single week for the next couple of episode just so i could fawn over these two. they work so well together, lift each other up, and so fucking funny together and support one another. while they’re not the chillest couple (lmao) they’re most certainly one with the most personality. they’re so cute and bicker and they just get each other. who could ask for more.

Flower of Evil (2020)

our badass mom and dad 😭😭. this was another peak drama that came out this year and our married partners-in-crime-but-not-really had amazing chemistry. baek hee sung and cha ji won were so cute as a married couple but they were even more precious later on in the drama after certain things unfolded (no spoilers). they both just get each other and protected one another as well as on the most precious kdrama children this year, their daughter eunha. they were so wholesome, flower of evil is so very worth a watch.

Into The Ring (2020)

this was one of the more underappreciated kdramas of the year but hoo buddy was the main couples chemistry top notch. they were so friggin cute and i just couldn’t. goo se ra is highkey one of the best female characters i’ve ever seen, she’s absolute chaos, lawful chaos, but chaos nonetheless. her other half, seo gong myung is opposite from her as lawful neutral. he’s just along for the ride that is se ra and loves her. they’re both so very fond and protective of each other and back each other up!! very very cute and you’ll definitely replay more than a couple of their scenes together.

most disappointing

Record of Youth (2020)

it’s sad but true… i went into this one with so much hope and excitement (i was riding off that ‘psycho but its okay’ high) and i was vastly disappointed. the plot mostly focused on the male lead, and there wasn’t much characterization for the female lead which i didn’t like. honestly, i only cared about maybe 3-4? characters in the whole drama. the rest were absolutely terrible or plain boring and i ended up skipping eps 14 and 15 and just watched the finale. i would not recommend tbh.

drama you can’t really get through

Crash Landing on You (2019)

this one is absolutely on me, i want so badly to love this one. but i just… can’t seem to get past ep 2? i’ve tried!! i swear, but i just cannot get through it. maybe in 2021, i can try again and i’ll enjoy it more.

drama everyone else liked but was meh

Kairos (2020)

i though kairos was a bit predictable tbh. i know those of us who did end up watching it really liked it but maybe its because i watch so many crime/mystery shows that this one didn’t really do it for me. the writing is quite solid and everything connects well, i would recommend that those who don’t really watch thrillers, to watch this one. (also the friendship between the female lead and her two friends is suuuper cute and worth it alone to watch kairos)

favorite romance

It’s Okay To Not Be Okay (2020)

yeah… this one wins again lol. what can i say, i just loved it so much and the main theme of the show is romance (its also a comedy and a mental health/healing drama) all i can say is watch this if you haven’t yet, its definitely worth it!! 

favorite mystery

Memorist (2020)  & Watcher (2019)

i really enjoyed these two mystery dramas. both were super fun to watch and very kinda unique in their own ways. i liked memorist because it was lowkey funny and i liked the relationships between the characters, but most importantly i couldn’t guess the main antagonist by the end! i really thought i knew who it was and then i was completely wrong lmao. watcher was also very good, the main trio had really good chemistry and i really cared about all the characters. (also i’ll never say no to watching seo kang joon) plus the plot twists threw me a bit at the end which is always a feeling i welcome, i love being surprised and wrong (as long as it makes sense)

favorite slice of life

Hospital Playlist (2020)

oh my goodness, i was late to the hospital playlist party and i regret it because this show is so. so. good. its just a slice of life following 5 friends who are doctors and work at the same hospital together but its so much more than that. this is honestly one of the first shows i’ve seen that are optimistic? in the show, every time i thought a plot was going to play out a certain way (usually negatively, as tends to be life unfortunately) it surprised me by taking the more optimistic wholesome route. characters in subplots changed for the better, became more understanding, chose to do the right thing, etc. if you want a feel good drama where the main characters have wonderful platonic chemistry and just care about each other but is also super funny, watch hospital playlist!! (season 2 is coming out early 2021 and im so pumped)

favorite fantasy

The Untamed (2019)

this one is a cdrama but i watched it in 2020, mostly because of how many people on the internet were adamant that the rest of us watch this and ngl they were v right. the untamed was very very good and im really glad i gave it a chance and watched it, its also my first cdrama ever. the chemistry between the male leads is honestly what makes this show and its worth the 50? i think? episodes. to be completely honest the fanfiction for the show are peak and if you do watch this, go straight to ao3 and you will not be disappointed.

dramas that saved 2020

The Uncanny Counter (2020) & Run On (2020)

these two dramas are among those that started airing at the end of the year and will go into the beginning of 2021 and absolutely saved the end of 2020 for me. while neither of these are finished, both have been excellent so far and worth starting. uncanny counter has the best use of the found family trope i have ever seen. i fucking love the four counters and their relationship with each other, how protective they are of one another. they all have amazing chemistry and the actors have amazing chemistry in the making films.

run on has one of the cutest couples that will definitely make my best chemistry list for next year. i didn’t put them on this list bc they actually haven’t gotten together yet but once they do, they’re gonna be freaking adorable, i can already tell. there’s no specific grand events propelling the plot forward, but just following the lives of these unique, interesting and relatable people who have casual yet entertaining conversations with each other. the show is super soft and the main couple are so straightforward and honest (plus theres mutual pining!!)

best dramas of the year

here are my best dramas (and one movie) watched this year, no further explanation given lolol. just watch them and enjoy because these are fucking excellent in the feels department. trust me 💞

It’s Okay To Not Be Okay (2020)

Flower of Evil (2020)

Itaewon Class (2020)

Hospital Playlist (2020)

One Spring Night (2019)

Midnight Runners (2017)

Hot Stove League (2019) 

I hope this gives you some fun stuff to watch!! or convince you to start that drama in your watchlists! 

[ex-silent-reader]

Happy Holidays fic recs

Happy Holidays everybody!  I haven’t been commenting on posts individually like i normally like to so it’s kind of backed up a bit. I still really want to thank all the authors who have been sharing their stories with us and leave a lil itty bitty comment before I can expand on them for their own post so here’s that! Also I’ve seen a lot of undeserved negativity being spread to a lot of authors and I just want to thank you all for sharing your work on this platform FOR FREE and remind you that you literally owe us nothing and I’m super grateful that you continue to share with us. These are just some stories that I’ve read this week, i’d def like to do another of these soon :)

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own any of these stories, each story is owned by the author tagged next to the title and the summary is pulled verbatim from their page, in quotation marks. The only thing I own is gratitude towards these authors for sharing their work with us.

Also all stories are rated M 

Also, a loooot of stories have come out lately and I haven’t had a chance to get to a lot of them yet but i hope to soon so I’ll hopefully make another one of these soon, but yea pls know that I’m not purposefully ignoring or excluding anything or anyone.

Jin;

last christmas | ksj x reader - @xjoonchildx

“ summary: it was bound to happen, eventually. after months of near misses at barbecues and birthdays, there’s no avoiding your ex-husband at hoseok’s annual christmas bash. but it’s fine, totally fine, because you’re both adults – and you’ve both brought dates and booze. what could go wrong? “

This story was amazing! First of all, I love the comedy surrounding the entire situation, Hobi with his 8 trees and instigator Yoongi who also wants them to get their shit together for Hobi’s sake. I love all au’s but sometimes exes to lovers is difficult for me to side with because I don’t see how people can bounce back from so much hurt but in this story it felt very natural how they were able to find their way back together and I really enjoyed the insight to their relationship, especially near the end.

Yoongi;

CREAM & SUGA -  @snackhobi

“summary: yoongi is your favourite regular. he’s patient, polite, and predictable, a-large-black-coffee-to-go-please, no cream, no sugar, thank you. rinse and repeat. the seasons might change, but yoongi’s order stays the same.

and then one fateful day in winter, yoongi asks about the weekly specials, orders a cup of christmas and sugary sweetness, and everything starts changing.”

Ya’ll. Yoongi fics just truly hit different. The plot of this was so adorable and him going out of his way like that to keep her engaged was so cute and just very Yoongi like. I also just really loved the descriptions in this, like how oc described making the drinks, it just made everything seem so real.

universe | myg drabble - @personasintro

                           “❥𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔; you’re his whole universe, you just don’t know it yet – or him” 

ASDFGHJKL! Like, I really have no words for the way this made me feel. Like, ik it’s not a super healthy dynamic but the thought of a fixated Yoongi is.. I loved reading Yoongi being so fixated with oc and doing everything i his capability to meet her. I also was v interested in the part where he bumped into her and she didn’t react the way he expected because it made me think about how he (or any character’s with his mindset) cope when the fantast and reality don’t match.

Hobi;

 A Holly, Jolly Crisis (M) -  @kpopfanfictrash

* Blog doesn’t allow copy/paste and I wanted to respect that*

This story made me feel so many things. Like there’s so many layers to it and both of their hurt, her visiting him and feeling betrayed while he felt pushed aside. This story was so complex and both characters had so many layers to them, but it’s still sooo well written and I was invested the entire time. Like, I genuinely can’t get my feelings out in a brief way so I’m looking forward to screaming about this in it’s own post.

Joonie;

 my only wish - knj | m - @ppersonna

“✹ summary- There are few things you hate most in this world. Hornets, unnecessary fruit pieces in otherwise perfectly good jello, certain shades of orange… But nothing takes the cake more than two simple things. Christmas. And Kim Namjoon. So why did you agree to pretend to be Kim Namjoon’s girlfriend at his family Christmas party? Bah-Humbug. “

UM! Absolutely adored this story, of course it would be a fellow cream suit enthusiast who can bring so much justice to dreamy Joon. I loved how he was portrayed here and getting insight to both his and oc’s feelings made me root for them soooo hard.

new parent syndrome - @1kook

“ SUMMARY You love Namjoon, honest. But you love your daughter Hyejoo even more— it’s not a controversial sentiment when you know he’s the same way! —and going back to a regular adult life sans kids absolutely sucks. (Or so you thought.)”

The tag “dreamy husband joon” is extremelyyyy accurate. This story was just so cute and their relationship truly felt so intimate and lovely. Her being on the phone with Jimin while Joon was smash SENT me but it was also so hot like ASDFGHJKL that man can do no wrong tbh.

  laundry day - @snackhobi

“summary: You’ve been letting your laundry pile up for a little too long. Fortunately, your neighbour Namjoon is there to lend you a hand. “

Pls this was so hot. Like, I’ve made it very clear thus far that I’m a total simp for Joon, the thought of that man going strawberry picking and thinking to grab some for oc genuinely makes me SWOON. He’s an actual heartthrob.

   The Sweet in Sweet Potato - @sahmfanficbts

“ Summary: You’ve been roommates for years. Now that you’re catching feelings, it’s time to run away. “

This entire series has had me so invested but this chapter!!! I’m always a sucker for Joon but the way he was so clearly in her feels (for OC) but wanting to respect her need for distance, what a man. And I was so happy to see oc working through her feeling towards Joon.

Last Christmas (M) - @jjungkookislife

* Blog doesn’t allow copy/paste and I wanted to respect that*

Damn, I really love when a misunderstanding is such a big catalyst for a bunch of drama/angst. It just really ups the tension for me because as the reader I know it was a misunderstanding but clearly the character’s don’t, so it just makes me really eager to see how they make amends. I really enjoyed seeing them slowly make amends and grow. Also the buildup to them deciding to give the relationship another go made the ending soooo satisfying.

Jimin;

 picking petals｜pjm - @taestybae

“ summary ↣ you asked for a baby, so a baby is what you’re going to get. “

I really have no words for this, like it was so asaifgjhhkc. First of all, I really enjoyed that it was through his pov, i don’t typically read stories like that (I just don’t often come across them) but this still felt so natural that I didn’t even realize until right now, writing this comment. Also, the imagery was so well described and the anticipation built made this story so enjoyable.

Taehyung;

 Deepest Indulgence  - @scribblemetae

“ Description/Summary: The world is a mess, gangs, violence and rates of poverty are at an all time high since corporations took over everything. You built your Sex house to be a safe place and a sanctuary for those in need, promising to protect anybody who needs it. What happens when an extremely attractive and very rich man walks through the door begging for a job at Deepest Indulgence? The one sex house that wasn’t meant for men like himself. “

I AM SO EAGER FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER TO COME OUT. Like, idk how I can even describe this correctly but this just feel so much like Tae...???? Like idk if that makes sense but just Tae being this v sensual man, but there still being more to him than that, just makes so much sense and even the word “indulgence” is just so sensual and reminiscent of him. Also, the storyline so far is something I’ve personally never seen before and I’m super invested in this world and story already. Very eager to see how their relationship progresses.

 let it snow | kth - @suga-kookiemonster

* Blog doesn’t allow copy/paste and I wanted to respect that*

It’s the way I read this last night, it took me exactly an hour (3am to 4 am cause I’m a CLOWN), and I was so invested that I kept putting off sleep to finish it. Man, i’m a simp for this Tae (just like he is for oc lmao). I really enjoyed reading it and the mention of Jisoo earlier in the story had me on the edge of my seat the whole time wondering when things were gonna blow up. Everything was just so sweet and fluffy, and the confession really made me feel so soft for them both cause they both were so in their own heads and feelings they couldn’t see what was in front of them so I really enjoyed the confessions.

Jungkook;

Thank you, baby - @scribblemetae

“ Turns out the boy whos been stalking you for years has decided its about time he shows his face in the form of a picture, and decides its time to talk to you for real, in the form of a phone call. “

I genuinely don’t know how I can simp over this story in a short way but I’ll try my best. The characters are so complex and the storyline is twisted so many ways that make this so interesting to read and easy to become invested in. The way Jk is written, I understand why OC is lost on how to feel for him. Like, his actions are wrong, but actually meeting him and even seeing his though process, it’s hard to make him out to be the villian that his actions have categorized him as. I can’t wait to continue reading and write a full length comment about this!

FEED ME, FIGHT ME.  @yeojaa

“ What do you get when you mix a pissed off girlfriend with a neglectful boyfriend?  (Aside from trouble, that is.) “

I really enjoyed this, I love how aware of Jk and his boundaries the oc is and how she is cautious to walk the line and not push him too far while also letting him know how his actions make her feel. This just genuinely felt like a glimpse into a very real, very intimate relationship/moment and I loved that. I also just really love how this is written and I think you have a beautiful way with words. 

Chapstick - @softyoongiionly

“based on the time Jungkook said he needed someone to scold him so he’d remember to put lip balm on. Or Jungkook’s had a really long day and the only that can make it better, is seeing you. “

Idk if I’ve ever said it before, but I just love how you write relationships. Like, I can feel how comfortable they are with each other and how natural being together is for them. With your stories generally it just never feels forced and I really love that. I also really liked that we got Jk’s pov in the beginning, getting to see how tense he was really made me eager for their interactions and for him to feel comfortable and calm with her. Their interactions just felt so cute and natural and the end, assdjfhi, jk really deserves to be cherished and I loved seeing oc get him to the point of relaxation.

[ot3-watch]

Episode 3: The Wedding Job

And so we begin the “The Network Fucked Up” saga with episode 7 which is SUPPOSED to be episode 3. 

Huge men drinking out of tiny teacups is hilarious and will never stop being so. 

Nate, stop being such a control freak. “I thought I pick the clients” DUDE CHILL

“No more, no less” honey you getting much more

“We’ll get back to you” FUCK YOU NATE

PARKER LOVES KIDS EPISODE 1

NATE IF YOU HAD FOUND THIS CASE YOU’D TAKE IT IN AN INSTANT YOU’RE JUST MAD YOU DIDN’T FIND IT

FBI!!! TAGGERT AND MCSWEETEN!! AHH OKAY I LOVE THEM

“They just need validation” BITCH ME TOO THE FUCK

TODAY IN THEY MAKE PEOPLE LOOK UNNECESSARILY STUPID

Hardison is so gregarious it’s so amazing to watch

“I don’t have to type anything right” oh my god

TAPES! “HARDISON HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WALK OUT OF THE FBI OFFICES WITH A BOX FULL OF TAPES?” “pUNCH someBODY!” “oh I’m gonna PUNCH SOMEBODY” God i love them

Jersey Boys I can’t, it’s terrible guys. Do mobsters have no taste

Oh look, it’s that woman who’s in EVERYTHING

What is Parker wearing on her head

Everyone talks about bridezillas, but no one talks about mother of the bridezillas. 

WHY DIDN’T THEY HIRE A WEDDING PLANNER IN THE FIRST PLACE

SOPHIE FOCUSING ON HER PERSONAL PROBLEMS WITH NATE INSTEAD OF THE JOB EPISODE 1

ELIOT THE CHEF EPISODE 1

HOLY SHIT I LOVE HIM

ELIOT GETTING TOO ATTACHED TO HIS COVER STORY AND FORGETTING ABOUT THE JOB EPISODE 1

He’s so mad that she doesn’t like it I lovehim I LOVE HIM I FUCKING LOVE ELIOT SPENCER

“Imagine if we had bugs planted all over the house” WHY THE FUCK DON’T YOU

How the fuck is the dress so ugly? WHY IS THAT WHAT THEY WANT? WHO WEARS PINK RUCHED SATIN WITH BLUE FLOWERS

I mean, other than, like, me @6 years old. But really, no one should be wearing the clothes I wore at 6 years old. 

Also it’s just.. the worst length. Like if it was a long dress it might be better. 

Nate the pastor episode 1

God that future son in law seems like a dream guy I love him

Maria Moscone deserves better than her scumbag parents let’s be real

SOPHIE TAKING THINGS TOO PERSONALLY AND GETTING THE WAY OF THE JOB

THIS!!! THIS IS WHY THE NETWORK ORDER MAKES NO SENSE!!! THIS HERE’S AN AIMEE REFERENCE BUT IF THEY’D ALREADY DONE THE TWO HORSE JOB, HARDISON WOULD’VE KNOWN ABOUT HER AND NOT ASKED

“What did you do?” “Me? I liberated CROATIA!” *angry apple bite* i CAN’T I LOVE HIM

DO PEOPLE NOT KNOW PARKER ISN’T A BRIDESMAID? HOW IS THAT DRESS FOOLING ANYONE

Hardison in love with Parker is so pure

… Okay but shouldn’t maria and blonde n’ bitchy know that Parker isn’t a bridesmaid? Wouldn’t the other bridesmaids know? Why does no one in the wedding party question ANYTHING?

HARDISON’S SCARF THOUGH

WHY IS HER MOTHER WEARING WHITE?? WHO WEARS WHITE TO A WEDDING WTF

MARIA MOSCONE DESERVES BETTER

SOPHIE FUCK OFF!! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?? THIS ISN’T IMPORTANT SOPHIE!! SOPHIE STOP IT!! SOPHIE SHUT UP!

M A R I A M O S C O N E D E S E R V E S B E T T E R

The Butcher of Kiev is the best subplot of this episode but HOW THE FUCK DID THEY ALL KNOW HE AND ELIOT HAD A PAST

Sophie is so fucking annoying in this episode I hate her right now

THESE PEACHES AREN’T GONNA POACH THEMSELVES PARKER

OH MY GOD NATE SHUT UP

NATE SHUT UP

NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR THIS NATE

SHUT THE FUCK UP NATE

THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU NATE

“In my day, no one would do business at their daughter’s wedding” WELL THEN DON’T DO BUSINESS 

Parker’s face smushed against the glass is great

Ahh yes, you don’t get the money so you SHOOT THE BRIDE. Because THAT’s not gonna cause a scene and get you arrested. 

OK be honest is there anyone who was surprised by the wife being responsible? Bc I’m not

Eliot’s face is like “TFW the guy whose face you burned shows up at a wedding you’re supposed to be pretending to but actually are catering with a cleaver and backup and the overwhelming urge to kill you”

I know that’s super specific but that’s what it is

Parker’s really good at playing drunk

But also, why did they not question what she was doing behind the curtain

Like she just happened to appear after they were finished talking about VERY ILLEGAL THINGS and they aren’t at all suspicious?

Also, Parker using Hardison as a cover is just… I love it. 

You’re laughing. Eliot brought a whisk to a knife fight and you’re laughing. 

The saddest part is Eliot has any sort of cooking implement. You should be terrified right now

Okay so let me get this straight. A guy is StrANGLING you, you get your hands on a rolling pin, and your instinct isn’t, “hey, I can use this rolling pin to clobber him over the head,” the instinct is “Let me use this rolling pin to get my hands on the appetizers?” Like, yes, lemon juice, but also ROLLING PINS ARE HEAVY AND YOU COULD AT LEAST KNOCK THE GUY OUT

But no, let me shove fucking MUSHROOMS in his eyes because otherwise how else would we get the symmetry of the butcher yelling “IT BUUUURRRNNNNSS” both times he fights Eliot

And then he uses the fucking serving tray to bonk him on the head INSTEAD OF THE DUCKING ROLLING PIN

LIKE SERIOUSLY HAVE YOU EVER USED A ROLLING PIN AS A WEAPON

I’M NOT SAYING I HAVE BUT OUCH

Like, just… If I had a choice between being hit over the head with a thin sheet of metal or a log of wood with metal inside it, I’d pick the sheet, because at least that one has some give. 

“It’s the lemon juice” How does Eliot make that sound badass

“You just kill a guy with an appetizer?” How the FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW THAT??

WHY DOES NO ONE ASSUME A ROLLING PIN WOULD BE AN OKAY WEAPON

Or like LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE IN THAT KITCHEN. THERE ARE CAST IRON PANS IN THAT KITCHEN. Or just liek… regular pans. HAVE YOU EVER DROPPED A NONSTICK PAN ON YOUR FOOT? IT FUCKING HURTS?? WHY IS THE APPETIZER YOUR FIRST INSTINCT NATE

Also, he’s clearly not dead. What the fuck

“I don’t know, maybe” I KNOW AND tHE ANSWER IS NO YOU OBVIOUSLY DIDN”T

...who honeymoons in Kansas? Is that a thing? 

They are a very cute couple i’ve gotta be honest

“Exactly what denomination are you reverend?” He isn’t

“You’re not Mary Poppins, youre a bitch” Okay pot. Okay. 

LITERALLY THAT FUCKING HANDBAG WOULD AHVE MADE A BETTER WEAPON THAN THE MUSHROOMS

How does Hardison remember all those numbers? He didn’t even hear a bunch of them, but he takes the book out so slowly? DOES HARDISON HAVE AN EIDETIC MEMORY? WHY IS THAT NOT A PLOT POINT MORE OFTEN

Like I’m just saying, someone tries to tell me their phone number more than 3-4 numbers at a time and I get confused. But hardison just… remembers

What happened to the cash? The daughter gets the fucking wedding present she DESERVES for putting up with her awful parents that’s what

Hardison appreciating Eliot’s cooking is EVERYTHING

“I left him five dollars for socks” Well everyone needs socks. 

Okay wait I just had a thought

If Nate isn’t an actual Reverend, is that marriage even legal? Does Nate just happen to also be a legally ordained minister? Did they have to get him an online ordainment? WhY did we not see that scene? WHAT IF HE’S NOT AND THEY AREN’T ACTUALLY MARRIED

And today on “I clearly think far too much about these things”

PARKER WIth KIDS IS EVERYTHING

Eliot cooking for his family I love it

ELIOT IN A TANK TOP I LOVE IT

Was Eliot’s arms the most important part of this scene? Probably not

Is it the only thing I care about? ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY

I”M A SIMPLE GIRL AND HE HAS VERY NICE ARMS OKAY

Final thoughts: 9/10. I love this episode so much guys. Points off because really who the fuck wears white to a wedding. I know that’s the point but its very off putting. Also for the bridesmaid dresses because they were ugly as sin. Actual point off for the wife secretly being awful. Very predictable, ew. Extra points for Chef!Eliot. Extra points for Eliot’s arms. Points off for Nate and Sophie being completely insufferable. Extra points for Parker being great in this episode. Points off for the FUCKING ROLLING PIN YES I’M STILL ANGRY DONT @ ME. Extra points for Eliot killing a man with an appetizer because it’s still funny. Extra points for no IYS or Sam references THANK THE FUCKING LORD. Or, at least, if there was, i didn’t notice, meaning it wasn’t egregious so whatever. So yeah, anyway I really fucking love this episode. 

IYS Count: 2/3

Sam Count: 2/3  AND WE ARE ALL BETTER OFF FOR IT

[amphtaminedreams]

Sitting Front Row at...(On a Budget Obvs): Lookbook no.15

Hey to anyone reading!

And welcome to my fave lookbook I’ve done in a longggg ass time! Yes, that’s partially because it involved making collages and doing the low effort work of scouring Vogue Runway for “research purposes”, but I promise, that statement wasn’t made out of COMPLETE laziness-I am super happy with it too. It’s been a good use of pre-part-lockdown-lift time in the interim between that brief period of Christmas celebrations and eateries finally fucking opening again because let’s be honest, I always knew I was gonna get distracted by oat milk vanilla lattes and veggie all day breakfasts once I could actually sit down with them at my fave local cafe. You could say I was very much operating on a self-imposed deadline.

The “what I would wear to sit front row at...[insert designer here]” TikTok/Instagram reel trend was something I wanted to get on board with ever since I first saw one and whilst the option of doing my own live action take-I really cannot bear the thought of having to edit footage of myself awkwardly attempting to sit nonchalantly in front of a camera for hours on end-was off the cards considering my complete lack of screen presence, I decided a Tumblr text post would work just as well, and if not even better in a way. Given the absence of the time limitations you face when you’re making a reel or a TikTok I thought it’d be cool to present the looks as part of a mini moodboard for each designer which adds a bit of context to each look even if you aren’t familiar with their past collections and establishes the general vibe of the brand I’m attempting to replicate. Not to sound snotty or as if I am the font of all knowledge on anything high fashion related but even with my amateur knowledge I noticed that as the video trend took off and was adopted by big name influencers, it became less about the average person putting their own personal spin on the aesthetic of the labels we can’t ordinarily afford and more about them building outfits that only vaguely resemble the general public perception of the brand around the real corresponding (and often gifted and thus inaccessible to someone who doesn’t makes thousands for a sponsored post) pieces they own SO I thought I’d take the trend back to its roots and get a bit resourceful. All that being said, in no particular order, here are the outfits I would wear to sit front row at Gucci, Vera Wang, Miu-Miu, Marc Jacobs, Dolce & Gabbana, Brock Collection, Alexander McQueen, Etro, Burberry aaaand Saint Laurent based on their past collections and guess what? They didn’t cost a shit tonne of money :-)

-disclaimer: will include an asterisk before any new purchases if from a high street store though to be honest, I don’t think there are any, we shall see! I do include where I got old purchases from in case anyone wants to search anything on Depop/Ebay-

1. Saint Laurent (formerly Yves Saint Laurent)

-blazer from identityparty on Depop, pleather trousers from Zara, jewellery from Dolls Kill-

I know technically abbreviating Saint Laurent to YSL doesn’t really make much sense anymore given the brand’s name change in 2012, but I’ll always think of it as that in the same way I’ll always associate it with the slightly dishevelled yet simultaneously glitzy rock n’ roll aesthetic. The thing is, whilst YSL hasn’t done anything wildly out of the box for a long time, it’s rare they put a look on the runway that I wouldn’t wear; they never end up being a fashion week standout but the Parisienne take on grunge we’ve seen Anthony Vaccarello establish as his go-to will always have a place in my heart. 

2. Alexander McQueen

-embroidered leather jacket from Ebay (originally Topshop), harness from Amazon, dress from ASOS, boots from Koi Vegan Footwear-

Alexander McQueen is a brand that is pretty much universally liked, from the historically extravagant and groundbreaking shows the man himself put together to Sarah Burton’s more toned down but still beautiful collections. Obviously I didn’t attempt to do justice to the former, so I tried my hand at putting together a look inspired by Sarah’s blend of delicate femininity and nomadic edge, and it went...okay? Like it’s definitely not my favourite of all the looks because it does give off slightly cheap copycat vibes buuut outside of the context of this lookbook it’s cute.

3. Brock Collection

-boater hat from Ebay, midi skirt from morganogle on Depop, corset top from ownmode_, heels from amybeckett1, bag from Primark-

Brock isn’t as well known a brand as most of the others in this list but I adore everything Laura Vassar Brock does and I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to try and channel the vision of one of the OG pioneers of the cottagecore vibe through my own wardrobe. I mean fr, this woman’s work as a steady provider of meadow photoshoot worthy dresses and corsets and skirts is v slept on and I will not stand for it. I will sit in front of a camera and then write a paragraph in my blog post begging anybody who reads to give LVB (an abbreviation I acknowledge is unlikely to catch on because Lisa Vanderpump anybody?) some form of acknowledgement for her services to period romance novel inspired moodboards everywhere.

4. Marc Jacobs

-coat from House of Sunny, white shirt from Retro World Camden, co-ord from Sugar Thrillz, bag from Poppy Lissiman-

If there’s one thing Marc Jacobs always does, it’s COMMITS. TO. HIS. THEME. I just KNOW he has a secret Pinterest with separate boards for every fashion era of the 20th century and he is putting those boards to good use providing us with collections that are as immersive as they are eclectic year in year out. 

5. Miu Miu

-beret from H&M, hair clips from H&M, jewellery from Primark, coat from mollyyemmaa on Depop, shirt from YesStyle, sweater vest from YesStyle, skirt from Depop, diamanté belt from Brandy Melville, shoes from Koi Vegan Footwear-

We all like to talk about Bratz dolls and Monster High dolls and Barbies as fashion inspo but can we all focus on Cabbage Patch dolls for two secs so as to acknowledge the fact that a Miu Miu collection is basically all their fits grown up? And made boujie as fuck? If I want my fix of Wes Anderson meets Scream Queens (what a combo) inspired outfits, if I want prissy and girlish but also glam, if I want to look like a bratty rich girl whose one redeeming quality is her eye for vintage clothes, I know where to look and that is the Miu Miu section of Vogue Runway. 

6. Vera Wang

-blazer as in no.1, velvet bralet from catdegaris on Depop, harness from Amazon, skirt from Ebay, knee high socks from Ebay, lace up boots from Ebay-

Vera Wang’s RTW aesthetic, a blend of the ethereal, ultra-feminine bridal designs she’s known for and British style punk rock influences, is something I feel has only become firmly established in recent years but it is everything I ever wanted and more. I always find myself trying to balance the part of me that loves everything girly and delicate and pretty and the part of me that would love to be in a biker gang and Vera’s collections are always an inspirational reminder of just how well it can be done.

7. Burberry

-coat from charity shop, suit from emmafisher3 on Depop, top from simranindia, shirt underneath from Zara, jewellery from ASOS-

Now I’m not gonna lie, I’m not the biggest fan of Burberry but there have been a few looks over the past few years I’ve really liked and as someone who owns numerous trench coats, high necks and way too much plaid, I thought it’d be an easy one to replicate. Plus, if you can count on Riccardo Tisci for nothing else you at least can rely on him giving you some layering inspo which is very much needed in a country where it literally just snowed in April and where my plans for today have just been cancelled because the iPhone weather app did a Karen Smith and didn’t predict rain for today right up until it started raining so thanks for that one British meteorologists. Your incompetence strikes again.

8. Etro

-corset from Urban Outfitters, vinyl trench coat from Topshop, boots from Ebay, black slip dress from kaoanaoleinik on Depop, fur trim afghan coat from louisemarcella-

Like with Brock Collection, Etro isn’t a hugely well known brand, but it is always one of my favourites-to add a spanner into the works of any attempts to cultivate a firm sense of personal style, I live for the ornate Bohemian look that Etro does so well just as much as I love both grungy and girly pieces, and so I really wanted to include a brand whose collections go down that route. It was a toss-up between this and Zimmerman, the flirtier, free spirit counterpart to the dark romance of Veronica Etro’s designs; her vision really shines through the most when it comes to the brand’s winter collections, imo, and given that I live in a country where winter or some weather state resembling it does seem to take up 70% of the year, I did decide on channelling her work rather than that of the equally talented Nicky and Simone Zimmermann this time round.

9. Dolce & Gabbana

-flower crown from ASOS, tiara from Amazon, earrings from YesStyle, dress from alicealderdice1 on Depop, opera gloves from Ebay, boots from Koi Vegan Footwear-

D&G is a brand I felt really conflicted about doing-I don’t include their current collections in my fashion week reviews based on the actions of designers Stefano Gabbana and Domenico Dolce over the last few years because I don’t want to mitigate the collective effort of fashion critics to push them towards irrelevancy. Though people like to claim the brand has turned a corner since Lucio Di Rosa was brought on board as the manager of celebrity and VIP relations last year (they are as prolific a force on red carpet fashion as ever), we haven’t seen any real meaningful apologies or reparations made by Dolce and Gabbana themselves which once again leaves us in the all too familiar quandary of whether or not we can separate the art from the artist especially when it is far too much of a simplification to only credit the two men for their work given there’s a whole design team behind them. There are a LOT of shitty people working in fashion, the whole industry is a bit of a cesspit if we’re honest, but I don’t think that should stop us from at least being able to appreciate old collections if we make sure we aren’t engaging in any kind of promotion of current works whilst doing so. D&G are a brand of high highs and low lows, with looks that range from hideously ugly to showstoppingly beautiful in a single show-when the looks are good, they are GOOD-and their presence in the fashion world is most definitely felt whether we want it to be or not. It would just be shit to refuse to recognise the existence of some real iconic runway moments, the practical work that went into the ornate detail and opulence that helped cement D&Gs place in sartorial history, the styling that’s made goddesses and fairytale queens out of modern day women as they’ve glided down catwalks, the far more extravagant and, let’s be real, sexier version of our world D&G shows have transported us to in the past. Will I talk about D&G ever again? No, and if you Google the scandals their brand has faced over the past few years, there are more than enough reasons why, but just this once I did want to pay homage to some of the collections, the snippets of which I saw on my Tumblr dashboard back when I was about 13, that first got me into fashion.

10. Gucci

-fur coat from Topshop, clips from Zaful, glasses from Ebay, dress from gracewright246 on Depop, shirt from Boohoo, blazer from charity shop-

Now last but, if you ever read any of my fashion week reviews (the likelihood of someone actually having read one of them and reading this is incredibly, incredibly slim lol, I wouldn’t read me either) you’ll know, definitely not least, is Gucci because Alessandro Michele comes through every!! single!! time!!

The man is truly the king of quirky throwback maximalism and it hurts my heart that a lot of people seem to think of it only as a brand associated with ostentatious displays of wealth. Year after year since Michele was made creative director he has released purposeful, fully-fleshed out collections which unravel themselves to us on the runway like time capsules containing the belongings of the rich and whimsical and yes that can sometimes result in outfits which are *ahem* a bit mismatched but it doesn’t matter because through fashion he manages to take us to a vivid version of the past where people could dress as freely and lavishly as they wanted to, into the wardrobe of a person unaffected by the side-eyeing of others. You get the impression he doesn’t design so much as plays around with some kind of enchanted dress up box and takes inspiration from there and to give that impression is only a credit to his talent-to make outfits so kooky and extravagant look like they were meant to be takes a boldness and genuine love for clothes that I do tend to feel a lot of the big name designers have lost in the pursuit of profit and the necessary placating of the dying customer base that keeps that coming in. Of course I'm not for a second saying Gucci does not care about profit, but at the very least, they have on board a creative director who genuinely has fun with what they’re putting out there and wants to make a statement too and that really shows; you can rest on your laurels and sell tweed boucle jackets to rich old white women for eternity but nobody’s going to mention your brand name and the word groundbreaking in the same sentence ever again unless they’re talking about what it was a century ago, you know (mentioning no names...unless...did I hear someone say Chanel)? That feels like such a shady way to end, lol, but I’m sure said brand will survive-to be fair, they’ve been included in every other What I’d Wear to Sit Front Row At video I’ve seen so although I’m always slagging them off for doing the saaaaame thinggggg year after year, for that same reason their aesthetic is instantly recognisable and so will always be a source of imitation. There are obviously pros and cons to being a brand which constantly reinvents itself but I think it’s totally possible to do that whilst maintaining an overall mission, and Alessandro Michele’s work at Gucci demonstrates that with ease.

Anyway, if you got to here, thanks for reading! I know I’m super behind on this whole TikTok trend and I know a Tumblr post instead of a video is a bit of a cop out but all the real, physically awkward ones out there know that watching yourself back is excruciating lmao, so I hope this does the trick. After this, I’m gonna get back to the reviewing S/S21 collections post though knowing me I’ll probs take a few days to get back into that because I feel like since I left full-time education (RIP me going back in a few months) writing continuously like this for any longer than about 15 mins fries what brain cells I have left. Again, thank you for reading and if you are, sending many good vibes your way! Stay safe!

Lauren x

[nicamon606]

Ned x Amy x Levi

@avienbgwp @that-sright You know what?I should have predicted this,but...here we are.

Since your comment about this“Neighbours”storyline it’s pretty long and it would be hella confusing to mix it with the Lana&Sky’s storyline,I’ll just copy it here and we can discuss it in this specific post.

Quote

Woman: Do you want to go with me…….or would you prefer to go with Amy? Man: You told her abut Amy!

Hey guy? Why didn’t YOU tell her about Amy? Honesty!

So I was gonna edit it after the theme song to say Levi and Evelyn, but its funnier this way. :-P

“If I told your mother, she would blame ME for letting the whole thing happen under my very nose” Wait, his mother? …what? Who Levi dates is none of his mother’s business, and what’s this about “the whle thing”? I feel like I’m missing  a LOT of context here.

“We’re in public!” Alkdaldh I like this guy. :-P

Lv: Carl told you about Amy. Ev: He assumed I knew what my son was up to. How embarassing.

Dating a woman??

“The fact is you’re in a relationship that can only end in heartache, and apparently my opinion means nothing to you whatsoever.” Well it seems like your opinion is he should leave the relationship, not sure how much more conversation is needed. And probably Levi could have guessed you’d say that, so why bother?

Huh. I guess I was primed by Siren to assume it would be a boy a two girls. Don’t I feel foolish! ^^’

Also yes I forgot until this point somehow that Levi must have been in a polycule aslkdal.

“I thought we could have a proper chat…talk this out?” So, toatally vibig with the communication here, but 2 things: 1) Evelyn is currently primarily mad at Levi for being dishonest and for HIM not communicating, so this kinda compiunds that second part since she could take it as Levi hiding behind Amy to do the talking fo him, 2) they really dont have to justify their relationship to anyone else. Not that Amy is  in the wrong here at all, I commend her effort.

“I wob’t get my head aroud it” Well, she tried! XP

Am: My feelings for Levi aren’t any less ‘cause I’m seeing someone else. Ev: That doesn’t make sense.

Ok so the first thing to do is de-universalize the way you do relationships. Actually wait, better more likely to work idea: You know friendship? You know how you can have more than 1 friend and it’s not seen as taking away inherently from the feelings you have for other friends? It’s like that.

I should use that some time!

Ev: A romantic relationship can’t be shared, all I see is 100 ways for Levi to get hurt Am: Yeah, you’re not the only one who thinks like that.

Yeah, like the prevailing assumption in western society. ;v;

Am: Sheila feels exactly the same

Askdjasdjh I can’t believe her name is actualy “Sheila”, aussie slang for “woman” XD. But yeah, I really was expecting that to go more broad.

“Something he doesn’t have to hide for a start” Yeah, you’re certainly helping that. *rolls eyes*

“You’re assuming he’s unhappy” No, she’s assuming he WILL BE unhappy, when the relationship “inevitably” hurts him in some way. I mean there are a lot of other assmptions on top of that, like that he is LESS happy than he would be in a monagamous relationship., but, yeah, odd way to frame that. The rest of the point is spot on.

“we’re just having an open and honest conversation.” Music to my ears.^^

“I’m really really sorry, it was just my protectivenes” If you were really sorry. yu wouldn’t try to excuse yourself at all. Also that’s not protectiveness, it’s vindictiveness to just do it to make things harder on them. If you actually were going for breaking them up through Evelyn, you could have told her.

Evelyn saying she’s still uncomfortable with LEVI’s relationships, like, it’s not your relationship! Ugh, yeah, i’m glad she’s being honest, i’ve just…heard people like her a lot in real life.

I am curious what the judgement was with Evelyn and Levi’s dad now.

End

“Hey, guy? Why didn’t YOU tell her about Amy? Honesty!”

Because he didn’t want his mum to know he was in a poly relationship because he guess she wouldn’t have approved.

“ Who Levi dates is none of his mum’s business and what’s “the whole thing”? I feel like I’m missing  a LOT of context here.”

“The whole thing”would be the poly relationship and yes,of course who Levi dates is none of his mum’s buisness OR his grandma’s,for that matter,but none of those ladies seem to agree with that,so...🙄

[“We’re in public!” Alkdaldh I like this guy. :-P]

I like the guy,I hate the accent.He’s one of those who I always try to skip not because I don’t like him as a character,but simply because hearing him speaking gets me hella frustrated!X-PPP

[“Lv: Carl told you about Amy. Ev: He assumed I knew what my son was up to. How embarassing.”Dating a woman??]

Dating a woman who is dating another guy at the same time.🙄

“Well, it seems like your opinion is he should leave the relationship, not sure how much more conversation is needed. And probably Levi could have guessed you’d say that, so why bother?”

The same reason his grandma bothers...they just can’t accept Levi disagrees with them about his own relationship.🙄🙄

“Huh. I guess I was primed by “Siren” to assume it would be a boy a two girls. Don’t I feel foolish! ^^’”

“Also yes, I forgot until this point somehow that Levi must have been in a polycule aslkdal.”

HOW could you forget?!The title of the file was literally OT3!

Sh:“Won’t end well...can’t watch,but...can’t look away...;-S”

Yeah,same. :-P

“You know friendship? You know how you can have more than 1 friend and it’s not seen as taking away inherently from the feelings you have for other friends? It’s like that.I should use that some time!”

You can surely try,but I can already tell you it won’t work!😅Don’t get me wrong,the argument makes tons of sense...but not for Mainstream Western Society.MWS expects you to have 1 partner(of your opposite sex)to marry and to form a family with.You CAN have many friends because you will see them all occasionally and if you “break up”with 1 of them you will possibly be heartbroken but that won’t break your family..if you have kids,they won’t lose 1 parent just because you lost 1 friend...with romantic partners/spouses it’s different...any thing that happens to the relationship will also influence the family(or future family you might have).These 2 types of relationship are simply not to be compared.Same reason why fighting with a friend is seen as less serious than losing a sibiling.Because MWS values family more than friendship and even if MWS likes to say through mainstream medias(like“family movies”and“family friendly TV shows”)that your friends can be your family and that family doesn’t have to necessarely be blood family,at the end of the day,MWS will always prioritize blood family over any other kind of relationship.Just look at“Coco”!! I love that movie,it’s 1 of the few Pixar movies I actually love and it moved me a lot 😭💖,but if there’s one thing that pisses me off about it is that,even if on the surface it may seems like passing the message that you can both have a professional career doing the job that you love AND not lose your family in the process,what it’s really saying is“you can have a professional career doing the job that you love AS LONG as it doesn’t mean losing your blood family in the process,otherwise you MUST choose your blood family over the job of your dreams and if you don’t it means you’re a heartless asshole who is willing to murder a kid not to lose his fame and reputation”.I hate that.😡

“Askdjasdjh I can’t believe her name is actualy “Sheila”, aussie slang for “woman”. X-D”

D’you remember when we used to watch“Siren”and Ryn’s sister’s name was literally WOMAN in Italian?!?

Yeah...I feel weird anytime I hear someone whose name is Donna.X-P

Anyway...since we’re speaking about her name...I wasn’t gonna say anything just because I saved almost nothing about that storyline either(because I was already saving TONS of stuff about Nichloette) but,before the OT3 storyline took place,there was a brief storyline about a woman who had the same name and surname of Levi’s grandmother(Sheila Canning)...and she and Ned fell in love at some point(but Ned already had a girlfriend so eventually Brunette Sheila went away in order not to compromise his current relationship💔)and the nice part of this is that Blonde Sheila was initially very rude to Brunette Sheila as well(and viceversa),but eventually they warmed up to each other and I thought they were very sweet.Plus,I liked Brunette Sheila as a character in general. I miss her.🖤🤎

Bl Sh:“You’re a good woman,Sheila Canning.” Br Sh:“Must be in the name....:-)”

The not nice part of this is that,apparently,the reason Brunette Sheila went away was that she was being bullied by part of the cast in a racist way.And now I can’t watch any of the current“Neighbours” characters the same way because I don’t know who among the actors who are playing them is actually a racist asshole/bitch!X-[

Am:“The judgement’s been pretty hard on all of us....X-< Levi said that you had to face a lot of that...over what happened with his dad.” Ev:“I did.” Am:“So you know what it feels like.” Ev:“That’s why I want better for Levi.”

I love this dialouge because(just like with other scenes about the S/L storyline)I can perfectly see both PoV and I can’t really blame any of the parts involved.Of course I agree more with one than the other(in this case Amy),but I can see why Evelyn is so worried and would like to prevent something hurtful happening to her son.The problem is, with both her and Sheila,they’re not considering the fact that THEY are the ones CURRENTLY hurting Levi!They’re so worried about his potential future pain that they don’t care of causing him concrete pain IN THE PRESENT.

If I was Levi,I would tell both of them:“Look.I get it.Relationships can go bad and they can hurt.And you think that this relationship is more likely to end in a way that would hurt me compared to others.Let’s say you’re right for a moment.Consider this.I am currently happy with Amy.What can happen in the future is:

a)Amy at one point dumps Ned or Ned dumps her and she stays with me.✅ b)Amy at one point dumps me or I dump her and she stays with Ned.❌ c)Amy at one point dumps both of us or we both decide to dump her.❌ d)We keep being happy,all the 3 of us.✅

I would have the same chances to be unhappy or to be happy,BUT in ALL 4 of these cases...

1)I will be happy AS LONG as I stay with Amy and no one judges us.✅ 2)I won’t be happy as long as I stay with Amy BUT the other people I love,like my family,keep judging me for being with her.❌

Final results:

1-a)✅✅ 1-b)✅❌ 1-c)✅❌ 1-d)✅✅

2-a)❌✅ 2-b)❌❌ 2-c)❌❌ 2-d)❌✅

So,being with Amy COULD lead me to be unhappy in the future OR NOT,but CURRENTLY I am HAPPY with Amy AS LONG as no one is shaming me for it!Right now the only ones who are making me unhappy IT’S YOU!And this WON’T CHANGE regardless of how the relationship is going to END.IF it ends badly,you would have ruined ALSO the part of it that was making me happy and if it DOESN’T end badly,you'd have STILL ruined part of it without a real reason!!!This-doesn’t-make-any-sense!!!Just let me enjoy my damn relationship while it lasts!!! It doesn’t make sense to spoil my PRESENT because you’re too worried about my FUTURE!!!>O<##”

Ev:“You can really get passed the judgement?” Am:“From most people,YES.”

Very well played!👌

Sh:“I’m as shocked as you are.I thought there would be fireworks by now!:-PP”

More like you HOPED there would.😒💢

Ev:“I heared that!😉” Am:“Oh.😳Then..sorry.I didn’t mean that.>//<” Ev:“Of course you did!And I..take that as a compliment.😘”

What does she take as a compliment?Whad did Amy say?😏

“Evelyn saying she’s still uncomfortable with LEVI’s relationships, like, it’s not your relationship! Ugh”

The good part is she agreed to“let him make his own choices and hope for the best”,exactly like I said. ...Unlike Sheila!😣Speaking of which...I told you there has been some development(specifically in ep 8709-8710)...do you want to see them or do you just prefer to leave the thing in a positive place?;-P

[hexlikesramennoodles]

For @granpappy-winchester, inspired by Cherry!Billy.

*

*

*

The music was turned down low, the lights dimmed; the festivities’ last stragglers wandering off to either pass out or fuck in whatever spare corner they could find. Robin’s friends had turned the living room into an island of refuse, cigarette butts buried behind the sofa cushions, empty bottles gathered on the coffee table like dominos, cold pizza crusts lining the pot plants. The shattered window had been sealed with excess rolls of duct tape, and yet Steve still felt the wind on his nape; a chilly, autumnal wind, with the knifelike threat of winter in it. He couldn’t see Billy, but he could hear him breathing; shallow and hoarse, as if he’d been walking on a steep upwards incline—or smoking an entire carton of cigarettes, which he did nearly every other day.

“Looks like we’re the last ones standing, Harrington,” Billy said.

The pantry door stood open, the single bulb inside flickering, spilling sallow light across the linoleum. Steve followed the emphysemic rattle of Billy’s lungs; he had memorized the sound, apparently. He knew the way Billy moved, the way he smelled, the shape he took in the darkness; like reaching for a wellworn light switch, you were confident it would be there when you did.

He was struck by the surreal domesticity of the scene: Billy Hargrove, sitting at his kitchen table with the sole of one boot planted carefully on the seat of a chair—Steve’s chair. He was, at nearly four o’clock in the morning, eating a bowl of cereal: balancing the bowl atop his fingertips, slurping noisily from it as one would with soup; Steve’s bowl, Steve’s cereal.

“No one else could keep up,” he added, after a pause.

Steve said nothing.

(He would be lying if he said he hadn’t imagined something like this—wished for it, even—Billy, eating breakfast in his kitchen the morning after, sneaking up behind him to wind his hands around his waist, his jaw whiskery with stubble and his voice sleepy, hazy, asking: what’s cookin’, good lookin’? The answer, Steve imagined, would be French toast, because that was what he had cooked for Nancy. Because Nancy had always stayed, the morning after.)

“Be honest,” Billy said. Both boots were resting on the chair, now. His legs had fallen into a wide V, seemingly casual, but Steve knew better; like a wellworn light switch, Billy was extremely predictable. “If it were you and me—if we were the last two people on Earth, what do you think we’d be doing?”

Steve said nothing.

(Billy never stayed. Billy was here one day and gone the next; he could be gone for weeks. He refused to shower at Steve’s, refused to even touch the spare toothbrush Steve had left for him in the bathroom; if Steve went as far as to offer him breakfast, Billy would laugh in his face. He had learned not to ask, and so he said nothing.)

“Or even—even before the asteroid hits,” Billy said. He was watching Steve closely, the whites of his eyes shining, a little frantic. Setting the cereal bowl down, he dangled his empty palms between his legs; a vague suggestion. An invitation to look, come closer, see for yourself. Steve tried not to look.

He tried to say nothing.

“The asteroid,” Billy repeated, nodding. “Or the nukes. Or a biblical flood sent by God, the Russkies, the fuckin’ Chinese. I’m talkin’ about the end, Harrington. Of everything. When the volcano erupted above Pompeii, you wanna know what the people did? Have a city-wide orgy, right there in the streets.”

“You’re drunk,” Steve blurted out.

(His anger was cold and clear and pure, like the depths of a mountainside stream; for once, he could see all the way down to the bottom. He knew what he was going to do: tell Billy to take a hike. Tell him, get out. No one wants you here. It had all seemed so easy, before; when he’d had something else to protect—the kids, Nancy. Steve was never as good at protecting himself. As a boy, he would forget to look both ways before crossing the road; he had assumed the drivers of the cars could see him. Too willing to see the good in other people.)

“Fucking,” Billy said clearly, in an infuriating, teasing tone, “is the best thing there is. It’s what makes life worth living. That’s what we’ll be doing, when the world ends. We’ll be balls to the wall, going at it like rabbits.”

His smile had unfurled like a sail, wide and white. Steve didn’t return it. Billy was making a pass at him; he was also mocking him for his stupidity, his weakness, his gullibility. Somehow Billy making a pass at him and Billy mocking him with each exhale always seemed to be one and the same. It was the only reason he was here; the only reason he seemed to exist, in Steve’s opinion. “Billy. You’re drunk.”

“I’ve only had one beer,” said Billy.

He stared at Steve, blinking, unmoved. Expression colorless, implacable, erased smooth. You never saw the change happen; Billy would be smiling, laughing even, his face flushed and his gaze bright and sharp—and then he wouldn’t be.

(Steve didn’t even know if he was real, sometimes. He was still wondering if this was one long, feverish dream he had yet to wake up from; a bad fucking trip. Billy was both the high and the crash; he could be both loving and tender, and cruelly dismissive. The ups and downs were hatefully addictive, poisonous, yet Steve couldn’t bring himself to stop. Billy knew. He knew how much Steve liked the chase, the competition. Like they were back on the basketball court again, just the two of them, the world narrowed to the size of a fishbowl.)

“Baby,” Billy said, spreading his legs wider. “Don’t you miss me?”

Steve said nothing.

(Deep down, he knew that it had been Billy who’d thrown the brick through his window. Steve remembered waking to the explosive decompression of shattering glass, the sound of an engine; he had memorized what shape the Camaro took, as well: a blistering roar in the night. As if the sound was the hellish manifestation of Billy’s own rage, burning as hotly as a falling star, burning itself out. Why had Billy done such a thing?

Why did Billy do anything?

Because he could. Because he wanted to.)

“You broke my window,” Steve said abruptly. He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. Billy would use them as an opening, find a way to shift blame; he would sweettalk Steve, soothe him, make him forget about being angry. Until it happened again. And again.

“I what?”

“Our living room window,” said Steve. “You threw a brick at it. It’s gonna cost me and Robin, like, two hundred dollars to get a new one. Why? Why are you so—”

“I don’t know what you want from me, Harrington.” Billy was frowning, his lower lip jutting out. He looked like a sulky schoolboy. Steve was too calm; too still. Billy hated stillness, people who walked too slowly in the street; he hated the quiet, which was an unknown variable. Billy preferred being in control; they grappled for it, locked in an eternal struggle for power, as all rivals were. It was vicious, petty; it could also be soft, but that was rare. In elementary school, Steve had played war games during recess with the other boys, shooting at them and declaring himself king when he was the only one left, the last boy standing; the rules were not so simple as adults.

“I want you to say that you’re sorry,” he said. “Can you do that?”

Billy rolled his eyes, huffing. “Fi-ine.” He was theatrical with his movements, letting Steve know how ridiculous he thought he was being, how much of an unnecessary fuss he was making. The Queen of Sheba, getting his royal panties in a twist. That’s what he called Steve sometimes, smiling and snide: the Queen of fucking Sheba. What, you want me to kiss your feet, Your Majesty? “I’m so-rry. How was that, pretty boy? Are we friends again?”

“Is that what we were, before? Friends?”

“ ‘Course we were,” Billy said, too quickly, too comfortably. “I’m everybody’s friend.”

Liar, Steve thought. Billy didn’t have any friends, apart from Steve. If you could call what they had friendship—it wasn’t, Billy could say it was until he was blue in the face, but he was lying, he lied so easily—a moot point, either way. Billy didn’t have friends. People swarmed to him in droves, like moths blind to the lethal electricity, the sharpness of his teeth, all the better to eat you with—they weren’t his friends, but means to an end. They gave him booze, weed, a place to sleep when he had nowhere else to go; sometimes, they gave him sex. Of that, Steve had no doubt.

(He thought he’d known what he was getting himself into. Billy had warned him. You’re just a warm hole to me. Did Steve even have a right to be angry, when he had seen the bullet coming from a mile away, had goaded Billy into pulling the trigger himself?)

“Baby,” Billy said; he sounded breathless again, perfectly contrite. His lips were as dark as ripened cherries. Steve thought he knew what the lipstick was called. Little Red. He knew where Billy had hidden it, too—in the glovebox of his Camaro, where he also hid his porn, rolling papers, and condoms. On anybody else, such a color would look whorish, cheap. Steve had watched Billy put it on, his mouth puckering as he stared at himself critically in the rearview mirror; after dabbing the bullet onto the center of his lips, Billy had smacked them together, fingering his hairsprayed curls until they bounced; he had done this in the same haughty way Steve had seen girls do, the beautiful, untouchable girls they’d both gone to high school with. I’ll kill you if you tell anyone, Harrington. I mean it. I’ll break your fucking fingers.

Steve hadn’t told anyone. The lipstick left pinkish smears on his neck, his nipples, his cock. It had occurred to him that Billy was attempting to rewrite some essential part of himself; plucking his eyebrows, curling his hair, stripping the hard external coating of his masculinity away. Steve wondered if Billy, as a child, had ever played dressups with his mother’s clothes. If he did, his dad had probably beaten him for it.

(You’re a better fuck when you’re angry, Billy had told him. He preferred Steve’s anger to his softness, as if the only emotions Billy understood and could navigate were fury, pain, and grief. A child, trying his mother’s clothes on for size—trying on the lipstick, the eyeliner, the lady’s perfume he filched from the SALE! counter at the drugstore—furtively and when no one was looking, as if to do too much, too overtly, would endanger him.)

“Say you’re sorry,” Steve said.

Billy opened his mouth, perhaps to argue at first—if he ever apologized, it always came with a disclaimer—then his expression changed, sharpened. The chair toppled to the floor as he slid into a standing position. His fingers scrabbled for his belt buckle, suddenly clumsy; it was Steve who slid the leather through the loops of his jeans, folding it up and laying it next to the cereal bowl. Without the belt to hold it in place, Billy’s jeans sagged, looser than usual, making it easy for Steve to pull the denim all the way down his legs. He could see the paler skin of Billy’s pelvis where his tan didn’t reach, and, cutting into his hipbone, a delicate scrim of red, shiny satin.

Billy was wearing panties.

“You got a hot date tonight, baby?” Steve demanded.

“I wish,” replied Billy. “The asshole never returned my calls.”

He was leaning on the table using his forearms as leverage, his head angled over one shoulder; his gaze was relentless, unnerving. So glaringly blue.

“So, what,” Steve murmured, his thumb grazing the edge of the red satin. Billy regarded him coolly over his shoulder, his eyes rebellious slits. Ready to bite back, at any given opportunity. “You decide to smash his window with a brick? Like that’s something any normal, sane person would do?”

“You were ignoring me,” Billy insisted. “You were rude, Harrington.”

His lip continued to jut out; it looked swollen, obscene. He sounded so reasonable, so wholly convincing, that Steve almost believed what he was saying—he wanted to. He wanted to bite into the cherry of Billy’s lower lip, taste him, let his juices flow down his chin.

“In other words,” he said, “you can dish it out, but you can’t take it.”

One thumb became a thumb and a forefinger, pushing the panties up and away; baring Billy’s soul. He took note of Billy’s thighs: thick with muscle, but lusciously soft to the touch; he’d shaved.

(The image of Billy with one foot perched on the edge of the bathtub and a woman’s razor in hand floated into being, unbidden. There was something about the ritual that had always seemed erotic to Steve; maybe it was the privacy of it, the unknowability of femininity—how many times had he and Tommy been caught by their teachers trying to sneak into the girls’ locker room, if only to see what went on behind closed doors? In that sacred state, Billy would be completely naked, at his most vulnerable.)

“Fuck you,” spat Billy. “You think you’re too good for me? Huh? You ain’t shit, pretty boy. Don’t get too big for your britches—”

He moaned angrily, his arms spasming as Steve shoved the blunt head of his cock between his legs, plastering his chest to Billy’s torso; there came the subtle snarl of tearing satin, the panties falling to pieces between the tight friction of their bodies, grinding, so close—a fact neither of them would register until later, until it was over.

“Don’t put this on me,” Steve said, pressing his mouth to Billy’s neck. “You told me, remember? You told me that you don’t care what I—what anybody—thinks.”

“Fuck you,” said Billy. Desperately, as if he had realized that he was on the losing side; as if this was his last resort. “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.”

Steve drove forwards, using the silky, slightly sticky corridor of Billy’s thighs like a glove, like his own fist around his cock. It wasn’t hard to imagine that he was fucking Billy, really fucking him; Billy was slamming his hips to match his pace, his cheek flattened against the scratched surface of the kitchen table and his wrists crossed behind his back. He mewled when Steve caught on his perineum, his spine bowing into a parabola of pleasure, outrage, or both. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck me. Stevie, Stevie, Stevie. His moans were loud and brash, performative; obviously not for his own benefit. Steve hated that. Billy thought he was the smartest person in the room, but he didn’t know how transparent he was, truly.

“Shit, Steve,” Billy was panting, biting his lip. When he reached around to take Steve’s cock in hand, Steve saw that his nails were painted the same cherry color as his mouth. It nearly did him in, the sight of his cock moving through the cage of Billy’s fingers, all that debauched red. “You make me feel so good. So fucking good, like this.”

He mewled again when Steve wrapped a hand around his throat, digging his fingers ruthlessly into his air supply; Steve saw the blonde curls drop, the hard, clenched arch of Billy’s spine giving way like a snapped power cable. His Adam’s apple strained under the pressure of Steve’s hand; the false sounds issuing from his throat had ceased. Steve was coloring Billy in; filling in the uncertain lines, making him seem more lifelike. The lipstick was getting everywhere, feathery vibrant slashes of it on Steve’s palm and knuckles, as if he’d been fingerpainting; adding shade and depth and nuance, marking Billy, marking himself.

“Steve,” Billy said. His voice was hushed, remote. As if he were dissolving, liquefying like one of those hard candies that came in the plastic wrapping, especially susceptible to heat; turning into sugared sludge, sweet enough to make your teeth ache. They were merging into one another. “Steve, honey. Look at me.”

His eyes, latching onto Steve’s face, his mouth. He knew how much Steve needed eye contact during sex, how much he craved it. The shreds of intimacy he scattered like breadcrumbs, because he enjoyed watching Steve get on his knees for them; begging, like a dog for scraps. They were merging, holding hands.

“Sorry’s—sorry’s just a word you say,” Steve grunted. He watched Billy’s fingers, the gemstone flashes of his painted nails as he pushed between his legs, slowly at first, then sharply, brutally, as if he were stabbing Billy, or exorcising him. “It doesn’t—ah—it doesn’t mean anything. It’s just you telling me what I wanna hear.”

He drove forwards and forwards, losing sight of the painted nails as he came, his eyes slipping shut and cock bucking, spurting between Billy’s thighs. He might have heard a moan, a curse. Billy’s legs were trembling; his shoulders had slumped forwards, as if he were concussed, or praying. Their come dripped steadily onto the linoleum, pale as churned egg whites; dreamily, Steve reached down and caught some of it on his fingertips, ignoring Billy’s reflexive shudder.

(He tried to remember where he was, where he had been before Billy had come into his life; he had been at a party. Robin’s party, or had it been Tina’s? They all looked the same, after a while: the same music, the same clinging miasmas of marijuana and free beer and unsafe sex; the same leftover cigarette butts and pizza crusts in the pot plants, the cheese hard as dried chewing gum.)

Billy whispered, “It’s not my fault you’re so easy.”

Mists of sweat hovered between his eyebrows, his upper lip; his hips had slowed to a lazy, languid roll. Billy smiled, looking like an insolent cat, the cat that got the proverbial cream. Then he rose, his hair falling in fuzzy cumulus clouds around his shoulders, and kissed him. Steve’s reaction was pained, immediate—he told himself that he didn’t want to be kissed, he didn’t want to have anything to do with what Billy considered intimacy; he wasn’t anyone’s experiment, damn it, he didn’t want to be fed Billy’s scraps—the taste of the lipstick was waxy, alien, as was the way Billy was licking into his mouth: using too much tongue, making a mess, bloodying him with the color. Steve knew how it would look, when he finally pulled away: like they had cannibalized each other. Like Billy had torn his heart out, dripping, and eaten it.

[things2mustdo]

Recently there’s been a lot of talk about whether or not the media has our best interests at heart, and with more and more men awakening from the feminist matrix, it seems that the mainstream media is going the way of the dinosaur.

Donald Trump has been urging the public not to trust the mainstream media, but I’m sure that if you’re a reader of Return Of Kings, you don’t need him to tell you that. The modern mainstream media is basically the same thing as the Church was in the 1200’s—they control the flow of information, and they don’t like it when people disagree with them. In fact, if someone who disagrees with them gets popular enough, they often times resort to smear campaigns (see: smearing Roosh as a manipulative pickup artist, and Milo as a pedophile apologist).

Now, I know what you’re thinking—“I know the media doesn’t report on things, Jon, but fake news? That’s, like, intentionally lying and manipulating information, isn’t it?” Yes, sir, it is—and this is what the mainstream media, particularly CNN, has been doing ever since television became popular.

Here’s 5 examples of how CNN is, in fact, “fake news”:

1. Kicking Bernie Sanders Off-Air

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWQcxUIYUcQ

Bernie Sanders, the unofficial leader of the socialist movement in America, recently called CNN “fake news,” before being kicked off the air. CNN tried to play this off as a “connection issue,” but anyone with a grain of common sense knows better.

Bernie: “…who is the head of Russia, and now we’re learning that there may have been discussions between Flynn and the Russians, about sanctions, before this administration took power. So this is very, very troubling, and I think the president is going to have to tell us what he’s gonna do about it.”

CNN Anchor: “So far he hasn’t said much…he was asked about Flynn on his flight to Mar-a-Lago late today…here’s how he responded:

[plays clip of Donald Trump denying obvious lie directed towards him]

CNN Anchor: “He says he hasn’t seen any of these reports. Is that a problem?”

Bernie: “Well, I don’t know, maybe he was watching CNN Fake News, what do you think?”

Bernie: [sees her offended look] “It was a joke.”

CNN Anchor: “You don’t buy what he said, obviously?”

Bernie: “Erin?”

Bernie: “Kevin, I’m not—are we on?”

CNN Anchor: “Umm, it looks like we’ve lost connection with Senator Sanders…”

Right, of course. You just happened to “lose connection,” with Senator Sanders conveniently right after he called you fake news.

2. “Racism” Is Why Adele Won Grammy

After Adele won the song of the year, record of the year, and best solo pop performance awards, it wasn’t long before CNN charged in to proclaim that “racism,” was the cause. CNN “reports”:

…”but with its racial themes and imagery, some are questioning if the project was “just too black” for Grammy voters. Kevin Powell, author of the memoir “The Education of Kevin Powell” and a forthcoming biography on rapper Tupac Shakur, thinks so. He told CNN “Beyonce’s ‘Lemonade’ made a lot of people uncomfortable, because it is so political, so spiritual, so unapologetically black, and so brutally honest about love, self-love, trust, betrayal.”

Right, because apparently Beyonce, despite being nominated for 62 Grammy awards, and winning a whopping 22 Grammy awards, is being discriminated against. In the Leftist’s delusional reality, any time a white person succeeds, it’s due to “racism,” yet any time a black person succeeds, it’s due to “overcoming insurmountable odds.”

Give me a break. Adele won the Grammy, because the panel thought her songs were better, period. This has nothing to do with racism, but apparently CNN still thinks it’s a good idea to race-bait the hell out of current events in 2017. I don’t see this changing anytime soon, either.

3. Venezuela Bans CNN For Lies

According to Fox News World, the president of Venezuela actually asked CNN to leave:

“CNN, do not get into the affairs of Venezuelans. I want CNN well away from here—outside of Venezuela. Do not put your nose in Venezuela.” -Nicolas Maduro

…and can you blame him? CNN has repeatedly shown how ridiculously biased they are, and they’ve shown how willing to lie they are, for the past year after running a gigantic smear campaign against Donald Trump.

Didn’t CNN claim that The Donald had a 3% chance of being elected president? What did they do, just poll the gender studies department at UC Berkeley? I wouldn’t be surprised if they did, because nobody in their right mind would ever accidentally come to the conclusion that our current president had a 3% chance of winning.

In fact, other independent journalists such as Mike Cernovich actually predicted that Donald would win months before the election day in November—how? Because they saw the trends. They saw that men were tired of being emasculated and having their lives ruined, they saw that we’re tired of being shamed for our whiteness, and they saw that the people of America were starting to wake up from their NWO conditioning.

4. “Our Job Is To Control Exactly What People Think.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoXGV4Vw-VA

Yeah, yeah—I know this one isn’t CNN, but they’re all the same to me. MSNBC, NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, and even Fox News to an extent…they’re all just different heads on the same globalist-controlled hydra. Buckle in though, boys, because this one’s pretty bad…and it just happened days ago.

Mika Brzezinski, whose name should automatically create suspicion in the wary citizen, recently stated on MSNBC that it’s “our job,” to “control exactly what people think.” I honestly couldn’t even make this stuff up, but if you don’t believe me, you can watch it in the video above.

Mika Brzezinski: “Well, I think the dangerous edges here are that he’s trying to undermine the media, trying to make up his own facts, and it could be that while unemployment and the economy worsens, he could have undermined the messaging so much that he could control exactly what people think…and that is our job.”

No, Mika, that isn’t your job. Your job is to report the facts and let THE PEOPLE decide what to think, but if you can’t get that through your thick skull I guess we’ll just stop watching your crappy network.

5. Donald Trump Calls CNN “Fake News”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZI0Q3LQZmo

Ah, I saved the best for last—I do love me some Donald burns. After a CNN “news reporter” tried to aggressively ask Donald a question for some odd 20 seconds, repeatedly interrupting him and interjecting his way into the conversation, Donald lost it and called him “fake news.”

And who could blame him? They spent the last 8 months doing absolutely everything within their power to completely ruin Donald Trump’s chances at winning…and yet, by the grace of God, and by the memes of Pepe, lord of Keks, the Trump train smashed its way through the entire god damn establishment…and won.

Trump: [to other reporter] “Go ahead.”

CNN Fake News: “MR. PRESIDENT SINCE YOU’RE ATTACKING US CAN YOU GIVE US A QUESTION!”

Trump: [to CNN] “No.”

Trump: [to other reporter]: “Go ahead.”

CNN Fake News: “MR. PRESIDENT ELECT! MR. PRESIDENT ELECT! SINCE YOU ARE ATTACKING OUR NEWS ORGANIZATION,”

Trump: [to CNN] “No, not you.”

Trump: [to other reporter] “Go ahead.”

CNN Fake News: “CAN YOU GIVE US A QUESTION,”

Trump: [to CNN] “Not you.”

CNN Fake News: “GIVE US A CHANCE! MR PRESIDENT”

Trump: [to CNN] “Your organization’s terrible.”

CNN Fake News: “CAN YOU GIVE US A CHANCE, JUST LET US ASK…”

Trump: [to CNN] “Your organization’s terrible.”

CNN Fake News: “LET US ASK A QUESTION, SIR! SIR!”

Trump: [to CNN] “Quiet.”

This goes on for literally 25 seconds, before Trump finally becomes visibly angry and proclaims:

Trump: [to CNN] “You are fake news.”

If the President of the United States of America thinks that CNN is fake news, I think they’re probably fake news.

Summary

In conclusion, if you still watch the mainstream media, don’t. Get your news from real news sites, like Return Of Kings, Info Wars, Gateway Pundit, Drudge Report, and Cernovich. The MSM has shown us multiple times in the past that they’re globalist whores, selling out the American public to fatten their own pockets.

I recently bought an Info Wars shirt to start wearing around in public, and the results have restored my faith in America. Everywhere I wear it, I’ve gotten complements—it’s not that often, but you’d be surprised how many men are awake, but just don’t broadcast it.

The MSM would have you believe that 99% of the American public hates Trump, but it’s really only something like 10% who hate him, and maybe 25% more who dislike him.

I usually wear Info Wars, Breitbart, and Trump apparel to the gym, because most guys who have a shredded six pack from lifting heavy ass weights are strong and masculine, and are therefore not subject to stupid social pressures that the media uses to influence you.

Do your part in spreading the good gospel of the manosphere, the alt-news, and the resurgence of America, and we’ll reclaim our country for sure. Let’s all make America great again.

https://www.returnofkings.com/165920/how-journalists-became-whores

Journalists are supposed to follow a set of rules and values called deontology. These rules say journalists should strive to be impartial, objective, and to inform their readers. We know well this is not the true nature of their activity.

Most MSM journalists today if not all are spinsters. They cherry-pick their facts and craft narratives around to steer people towards an untold yet ever-present agenda. They make up stereotypes while attacking other stereotypes, they make up ideas while attacking other ideas, as it suits the editorial line of their employer.

In the name of information, journalists create and fulfill an artificially constructed consciousness. They are paid to do so. They believe what they’re doing is normal or cool, just like the Ministry of Truth in Orwell’s 1984, where officers burn archives then forget they just destroyed records (soon to be rewritten); your average leftist journalist spins all the time, follows all the time, yet doesn’t even know he spins and follows.

A little bit of history

If you lend an ear to leftist historians, up to perhaps to age of discoveries, the West didn’t know much. Everybody were locked into their own towns and fields. Well, this is not true. Europeans had known about the Silk Road from time immemorial. Kings and the clergy had their messengers, their events, their gatherings. Individuals like Saint Bernard or Saint Thomas of Aquino were quite familiar with communicating at a distance.

It was just much slower than today—and quite of a luxury as well. Common folk had to rely on minstrels, travelers, and on their own travels. Most communication was done orally. Academics today love to point out how unreliable the bush telegraph is, but at least this communication is done naturally between common people rather than top-down from a shadowy agenda.

Also, as slow as this word-to-mouth communication was, people then did not need more: they could make a living on their own, with the insurance that they could consume it themselves or sell it. Markets tended to be stable, and whether you were a field-tiller or a craftsman, you didn’t need to know about the latest fad not to be left behind. People were also much less bored and in need of diversions. Didn’t have newspapers, didn’t need them.

Then came the printing press. What had been done by scribes secluded in monasteries became partly automatized and multiplied. Bibles were printed. Then pamphlets. By the time, Protestantism had well developed, clever princes tried to use it to their advantage, and the Catholic church counter-attacked by launching one of the most manipulative orders ever created.

More power to independent people meant chaos. Printing outside of the rigid hierarchy of the Church meant a never-ending contest of ideas, systems, tastes, experiences, and egos. The hypocritical journalists of now who chide “trolls” while sniffing their own written farts should remember that trolling appeared as a side-effect of the printing press, as it became possible to say anything remotely instead of being necessarily confrontable. Plus, trolling helps to think of things to talk about with a girl.

Nevertheless, printing what you wanted was not that simple. First, literacy was still the hallmark of a comfortable upbringing, and second, you had to be able to print. You had to know a printer, had to make a deal with him and pay him. Not to mention the dissemination of your lovely printed book. It was always possible to print in a country with virtually no censorship, then smuggle books, but who was to receive them and share them?

No matter what you had to say, you always needed to address a noble-bourgeois audience, which meant catering to fashionable topics or debates. Otherwise, your material would be simply ignored. Authors who weren’t too well-known had to rely on booksellers who conspired to arrange a discrete monopoly on over-the-counter books. Yep, the world of “culture” has always been murky, and its members believe this is a sign of their superior intelligence.

As “culture” developed, with its train of noise, untold rivalries and social parasitism, periodic journals were printed at an ever-faster pace. Eighteenth century bi-annuals were replaced by daily or weekly newspapers. Which meant a great need, not for amateur gentlemen, but for people who could write constantly. Such people would be called journalists.

The modern journalist plant

If you believe journalism is about informing the public, forget it immediately. There is no such thing as an automatic progress which just makes happen what seems desirable. If an unbiased, all-objective information seems desirable, that does not mean someone will pay for it or even manage to get it. Even the CIA Factbook was made in the first place because objective information would benefit the CIA itself, not “enlighten the masses” or whatever a leftist salesman would say.

A journalist is basically someone who is paid to write on particular issues, in a well-defined format, as his boss sees fit. A journal belongs to someone—no matter if the owner is public or private—who usually has its own aims. Whether the newspaper has to simply sell or shape the opinion, it always aims at something else than merely informing.

(Even ROK has an agenda, and I’m fine with it, because I believe it is sound and fair, but I’d never pretend I write for the sole love of truth or as if I was a disembodied soul with no consciousness of its own. Any writer having such pretenses is a hypocrite or a liar.)

Back to the nineteenth century. Newspapers were just like factories. As plant workers had to churn tangible products, journalists had to churn out impressions. They were like paid artists for the ephemeral, creating appearances that would sell, or satisfy, or infuriate—anything as long as it suited the editorial line of their employer. Journalists did not become whores. They were paid employees, to put it politely, from day one. But at least the blue collar workers had to pretense to say the truth or illuminate or whatever BS that sells.

Let’s say you were born with a high verbal IQ, a knack for writing, and some ideas. What could you do? You may consider writing books, become an intellectual, but book writing takes time and often doesn’t pay. If you can’t live like an annuitant, you must be an employee.

If you choose the written words, you have to conform to a preexisting editorial line, to a particular milieu that already existed before you did, in hope of being granted a job. Creating a journal demanded not only experience but capital as well. Can you pay a printer? Would a banker trust you if you asked him for a loan so you can start a journal?

As the nineteenth century was an epoch of exceptional growth, some people had this capital or trust, and many independent journals were formed. Many, though, were bought off, or chased away, or censored. The elite does not want you to become an influencer, unless, of course, you remain a perpetual servant of their agenda.

This is why mild conservatives are accepted as a stooge opposition, along with the alt lite, whereas those who really want to save civilization and its creators are reviled. The elites want to destroy civilization, so, their journalists, who all depend on them socially and financially, foster their agenda while lying to themselves on the nature of what they do.

So-called investigators are paid by Darth Soros to “investigate” on convenient targets while turning a blind eye on other things, like mass immigration, or upholding a mandatory narrative which rests not on truth but on pure social conformism—muh minorities r always good, muh white males r always wrong.

Perhaps the “fake news” offensive has been crafted, not only to maintain the masses into the blue pill matrix, but also to reassure the frail employees that they are serving truth and progress. Which is already dubious, as worshiping an arbitrary strand of “progress” has nothing to do with objectivity, just as the contemporary humanities are rather a Hollywood for nerds than a place of real knowledge, but you can’t ask vapid girls to get to this level.

No one writes for the sake of truth alone. Independent writers or journalists also speak of what they think relevant. They will mention XYZ facts because these are important, or, at least, ensure a modicum of success. Just like men tend to read Miyamoto Musashi quotes, not merely because he existed, but because he’s interesting.

Mainstream journalists are courtiers. They are paid by global elites to do their bidding. They work in cities just like filmmakers work in grand obscure studios—because their activity lies in creating perceptions, in shaping fashions, ideas, mottos, norms. The difference between a marketer, a journalist and a filmmaker is only of scale and means. The aim, and the bottom, is the same.

We are different, because we are bottom-up. When mainstream journalists sold their souls, we are upholding ours. The problem with this is that we’re ill-paid. The globalists and the boomers tend to concentrate all the money, and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to witness that the non-mainstream outlets tend to all lack money. Such is the price of independence.

We ought to have our own money elsewhere, and have a lot of independent journalists around, so that autonomous individuals from our side can work or investigate and help masculine men to shape their own consciousness.

[cilliansaccent]

The Peaky Designer - Cillian Fanfic, Chapter 18

Hello, welcome back. Below is the next instalment of my fanfiction!

Leave a like or a comment if you liked it, or if I can do anything better! Please, it would mean the world and to understand if anyone is enjoying my writing. Also, sharing/reblogging would be even better.

PLEASE READ:

I will not be including Cillian’s family as it’s kinda weird since he has children lmao. Just a mention of his parents and a previous lover.

I will indicate in a chapter if there is smut in the beginning and before the actual scene!!

I will add trigger warnings if there is any!!

There is a variety of levels of swearing during a chapter, I will not hold back, everyone swears.

The timestamp for the Fic is now 2016 and onwards!!

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Background: Gabrijela Babic is a Croatian girl from Sydney, Australia. She is born in the year 1991 on the 24th of December. She studies a Fashion degree in a University with a major in Game Design as well. Her teacher in the fashion designer class managed to nail an Internship on the set of Peaky Blinders with the shows very own Costume Designer, Allison McCosh. There, she travels to London for under a year to learn how to be one, working alongside the actors as well the man she admires, Cillian Murphy. But, her platonic feelings for the man begins to grow into something more, and she wonders whether she should pursue them or let him go for fear of her strict parents and her three older brothers…

Characters:

Swantje Paulina as Gabrijela Babic (swalina on Instagram)

Cillian Murphy

Word Count: 2,918

!!Warnings!!: Intense smut at the end of the chapter! 

Date: Februrary 2017

Chapter Name: Surprise! 

Brief Chapter Outline: Gabrijela finds it hard to be without Cillian before she falls ill and gets some very unexpected news... and a very unexpected guest at her gig...

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It was a very odd feeling waking up each day without the man she loved beside her. 

Gabrijela had a lot of restless nights despite talking to him almost every single night. Her heart was breaking and she missed his gentle kisses every morning. 

She still had not told her parents about her time with Cillian, she was not ready to tell them that she was dating an older man. She knew a hundred per cent her father would freak the fuck out and would do anything in his power to break them apart. 

She wasn't going to lose Cillian just because of her father's old-style views. 

But with her missing Cillian and the fears of her family's views, she was happy to be home once more. She had missed Sydney a lot and the warm weather, a little more predictable. 

Though, Gabrijela did not miss the annoying bitch Lucia who hounded her private messages and her many calls. It seemed that with the rest of her friendship group they had also ignored her as bigger issues had risen up and none of them was taking Lucia's shit. 

Gabrijela continued on with her life and as some weeks went by, she began to feel sick. Her body felt sore, especially her breasts and she had also missed her period. The period bit didn't bother her too much, she often missed it when she was off her pill. 

Yet, when she felt nauseous and felt like throwing up around her most favourite food... She knew something was wrong. Her mother wanted to come with her to the doctor but Gabrijela was sure she would be fine. 

So her mother stopped pestering and off Gabrijela went. 

Once inside the office, she made a light talk with the lady doctor until it was time to tell her about her symptoms. 

"Hm, have you been sexually active lately?" She asked. 

It was now seven days into February, "About a month ago, I was." She murmured. 

The doctor sat back and pulled something out of the caddy behind her. It was a pee cup. 

"Take a wee in this and come back. We will test whether you are pregnant or not." The doctor said. 

The word pregnant clang through her brain and she paled, "I can't be." She whispered. 

"Just, go do it okay? And then we can talk after." She said gently and Gabbie stood to go pee in a cup. 

She returned, still shaken up. She was careful with taking her pill, she was so careful. 

The doctor popped in the stick, gave it a few minutes. Then checked the stick, "Well, it seems you are pregnant." 

"No," Gabrijela whispered taking the stick, "Oh god no I can't be. I was careful!" 

"Not all the time pills can work." The doctor watched Gabrijela, "What would you like to do?" 

She sat back as she held the stick, how the fuck was she going to tell Cillian? Her parents? Fuck that. But... 

"I want to talk to my boyfriend first. See how he feels... about it. May I keep this?" She looked up. 

"Of course. Here pop it into this bag." She handed her a small waste bag and she popped it in. "If you need anything, come in anytime. Whatever your decision, I'm here also." 

Gabrijela smiled and tucked the bag into her handbag as she left. As she headed to the station, got on the train she just... floated away. She wasn't sure how she was going to tell anyone about this. 

She was panicking within herself and put on a fake smile when her mother asked her how she was. 

"Perfectly fine. Probably just ate something weird and making me all queasy." Gabrijela replied. "I gotta go shower and get ready for my gig tonight." She kissed her mother's cheek and hurried upstairs. 

She tried to call up Cillian as well, knowing he would still be awake at this time. But no use. It didn't even call. So she went to have a shower, tied her hair up in a high ponytail with two strands of her hair fall down her temples. 

She pulled on a black lacy bodysuit with a short miniskirt. She finished it off with a pair of white converse shoes, the necklace Cillian gave her and simple gold studs. 

By the time she was ready, she was off with her guitar in an Uber into the city. There she chatted with her group of friends who were already there. They drank a little bit, Gabbie going only for one glass of wine. 

Then it was time to play. Tonight's theme was rock, power rock and a little bit of metal. Their first song was from Beast in Black, From Hell with Love. The pub was pumping with the hard beat, but it got people hyped as they danced before the stage. Elijah was their main singer and he had a very powerful voice, especially when it came to rock music. 

Gabbie loved the songs from Beast in Black. It got her going especially when it came to her exercise. 

Their next song was Die by the Blade, Born Again and Sweet True Lies. Benjamin then sang Kiss of the Cobra King by Powerwolf and then various other rock music. 

Then it was Gabbie's turn. Everyone loved her the most and she felt so at ease, especially after today. She sang I Am the Fire by Halestorm, White Flag by Bishop Briggs and to end their time on stage, Faster by Within Temptation. 

As she finished the song off with an encore for the last minute of the song, her eyes fell on someone particular in the crowd. 

Eased back in a table a chair on the raised level in the back, a tall glass of Guinness in hand... was Cillian. 

Wait. What the hell? Was she seeing this right? As the crowd cheered and took photos as they bowed and set their instruments down, Gabrijela slowly walked down the stage to the man who stood from his chair.

He was dressed in his classic skinny black jeans and a blue almost black buttoned down-shirt with faint checkered design, the sleeves were rolled up. 

"Oh my god," She felt tears sting her eyes as she was overcome with emotion and flung herself into his arms. 

Cillian laughed and wrapped his arms around her, lifting her and spun her, "Darling, my beautiful, beautiful darling." He whispered. 

"Cillian! Cilly!" She laughed some more, pulling back to look into his eyes. "It's really you!" 

He grinned, "It is really me, darling. Oh god, it is good to see you again." He cupped her face, his accent washing over her, cleansing her soul. He leaned in and kissed her deeply and she melted into his body.

She linked her arms around his neck and returned the kiss with equal passion. Cillian's arms moved around her waist and held her tight against his body. 

They continued to kiss until someone cleared their throat behind them, Gabrijela pulled back to see her bandmates all watching the pair. Elijah had a raised brow and a cheeky smile, "Wow, okay. I'm gonna be honest here but I seriously did not think you really mean Cillian Murphy. I thought you were pulling my arm." 

"Of course you dummies wouldn't believe her, she didn't show you her other photos," Maya smirked. 

Gabbie blushed as she kept her arm around Cillian's waist, "Shut up! Ugh!" She laughed, gazing up at Cillian with so much love in her eyes. 

"Nice to finally meet you, man," Elijah held out his hand and Cillian shook it along with the rest of them. "Come on, sit on our table." 

"Alright." Cillian nodded and grabbed his beer as they headed to a large booth that fit them all. 

Gabrijela was still aghast at the sight of Cillian. He was here. With her. Right now. "How?" She asked her lover. 

"How what?" He sipped his beer and set the glass down. 

"You being here?" She gripped his hand under the table, her other hand pushing back his hair which had grown out longer now. 

"By... a plane?" He smiled, a cheeky glint in those beautiful eyes. 

"Smartass." She shook her head. "But really. I've been trying to call you like the past three days." 

"Well, I was getting ready before the flight and I spent those two days in the air," Cillian said, his hand cupped her cheek, gazing longingly into her eyes. "Take it as an early Valentines present." 

She giggled, V-Day was next week, "Cheeky bastard." She whispered and leaned in as they began to kiss again. 

"Excuse me!" Maya made a face, "Not in front of us. Keep that in the bedroom." Maya shook her head. "But anyway, I gotta go care for the bar. Also." Maya turned back to the pair, "Bring him to the wedding next Saturday. We'll fit him on a table." She said and headed off. 

Cillian raised a brow, "Wedding?" 

"Yep! Maya is getting married. The one I told you about." She pecked his lips. Elijah gagged. 

"Ah yeah. That's right." He nodded as he sat back, Gabrijela close to his side. 

"Oh, so you've been talking to him about us? I hope only good things, right?" Karsyn looked at Cillian with his smirk. 

"Of course. Only good things." Cillian nodded and felt Gabbie squeeze his thigh under the table. He felt himself harden from the touch. 

"I want to mention how good you guys played." Cillian praised, "Crowd was crazy." 

"Thanks, all help and gratitude to Maya and Ben. They deal with the marketing and we get new fans every couple of weeks. The bar is always packed from Monday to Sunday even if we don't play during the week." Elijah replied as he took a swig of his beer. 

"Awesome. I'll definitely be here tomorrow night as well, and Sunday." Cillian felt Gabrijela's hand move higher on his thigh. He tried not to shift too much. 

"Sweet. Might bring extra people cause of who you are." Elijah teased. 

"Yeah, yeah." Cillian rolled his eyes before the boys launched into a debate on music. 

Gabrijela couldn't stop staring at her love, she had missed his freckles, his sharp jaw, his eyes... God his lips too. Everything about him. So she kissed his cheek and headed to the bar to see Maya. 

"Hey," She said to her. 

"Hiya girlie. How's it goin'?" She asked as she prepared a mocktail for her. 

"Good! So good. I can't believe he is really here. I never expected that." She looked over to find Cillian glance at her and wink. 

"Girl, I- fuck you two are so in love! Makes me giddy." Maya grinned as she handed her the glass. "But I can also see you want to do more than just kiss him." 

Gab blushed, "Yeah. And I wanted to see if you can vouch for me tonight, I'm gonna tell my mum and dad I'm going to stay with you tonight cause you are closer and I'm too tired." 

"Hell yeah I can, don't you worry. You go get that man." She wiggled her eyebrows. 

"Shut up." She stuck her tongue out at her, "Take my guitar will ya." She said and headed back to the booth. 

By the time it was midnight Gabrijela wanted to go already. So Cillian stood and they said their goodbyes to the group and headed out. It was a warm summer's night. 

"So, how you getting home?" Cillian asked as they stood off to the side. 

"With you." Gabrijela turned to him, placing her hands on his chest. 

"With me? Your parents cool with that?" He asked as his hands rested on her hips. 

"Totally, they think I'm going back with Maya." She pressed her lips to his, "Now, Cillian. Make up the time we've been apart." 

He let out a growl that made heat explode between her legs as he called over a cab. 

They got in and it wasn't long they were at the hotel positioned on Darling Harbour. In they went and up the elevator. 

Cillian had her against the wall beside the door to his room, their kiss feverish. She gripped his shirt, unbuttoning it. 

"Baby," She muttered as his lips went to her neck. She found his key in the back pocket of his jeans as she tried to unlock the door. It swung open and she broke away from him and stepped back inside. 

"Come, Cillian. Have what is yours." She bit her bottom lip and he came at her, shucking off his shirt and threw it aside as he pulled her back in for another hot kiss. 

Her bag dropped as she turned, his lips along her neck before he bent her over the bed. "No waiting to undress. I need you." He let out a groan as he unbuckled his pants then lifted up her skirt, unbuttoned the buttons of her bodysuit. She was wearing no panties. 

All the fucking better. 

His cock was hard and he was already leaking pre-cum, then in one swift movement, he was deep inside her warm sex. He let out a heavy groan, her own voice matching his in a way. 

"Oh fuck." She gripped the sheets, head tilted back with her mouth wide open. "Fuck me Cillian! Fuck me!" 

"Gladly." He said and began to move his hips. Her walls were tight around him, sucking him in with each drag as she clenched. She felt absolutely heavenly, he had wet dreams of her and woke up at night having to jack himself off with visions of her luscious body he was so drunk over. 

He was hard and fast, the sound of skin to skin filled the air. The desperation of their bodies was the fuel to his pounding into her. 

Cillian gripped her shoulder with one hand, gritting his teeth as he stared down at where they connected. "Shit! Gabrijela!" He gasped, head tilted back now. 

"Cillian! Don't stop baby. Don't stop!" She begged, being thrown forward by his powerful thrusts. But she wanted to see him badly, this wasn't enough. "I want to be on my back, I want to see you, baby." She let out a half cry half grunt. 

Cillian pulled out as she turned, she quickly pulled off her clothing but not her skirt when he crawled back on top of her and was back between her legs, resuming his rough fucking. 

Gabbie gripped his shoulders, holding his gaze. His expression was what stuck to her in her lewd dreams, the deep frown of pure concentration and pleasure as he took what he owed. 

He knew exactly what he was doing, he was very familiar with her body and what she liked. He leaned in and claimed her lips, swallowing up her moans as his arms slid under her to hold her shoulders. He was already close. 

Gabrijela could feel herself getting to that edge, it would be huge. Nothing like a cock she loved inside her rather than her own fingers or her toys. 

Cillian was so much better. She was seriously addicted to him. 

"Cillian! Oh, baby." She moaned as his head was tucked into her neck. "I'm gonna cum baby. Oh, Cilly!" She kept her legs around his waist, her body warming up and the pressure between her legs grew more and more. 

His soft grunts became louder against her ear, his voice doing that familiar crack she so loved from him before fireworks exploded between them. 

She let out a loud, blissful cry of his name as she tipped over the edge, his curses followed with her name as well came after her and she felt his warmth spread through her abdomen and up to her heart. 

He thrusted till they were done, a light coat of sweat covered them both. He held himself up with his hands on either side of her head, panting softly as he stared at her. "I love you," He gasped. 

"I love you too, baby." She smiled, running her hands up and down his sides, his jaw then down his arms. "Oh fuck, I love you." She pulled him down as his body lightly rested on hers and they kissed for god knows how long. 

He rolled off her but he kept her close even as she discarded her skirt. She laid on her side and stared at him, her smile warm and gentle. "My love," she muttered. 

"My love," he replied, his hand running slow lines down her back. 

"It was so hard to sleep without you at my side." She said softly, touching his jaw. 

"Same. I didn't like how quiet the house was. Without you, it was so cold." He pressed his forehead to hers. 

"Now you are here, though. I can't believe it still." She pressed a soft kiss to his lips. 

His smile matched hers, "Neither can I. You are in my arms, back with me." 

She giggled and snuggled close, they only had a light sheet across their waist, it was warm in the room. "My cilly." She sighed in happiness. 

He held her, still touching her slowly. He didn't expect her to fall asleep so fast but she needed it. Tonight was big and he was also exhausted from the flight. 

His eyelids felt heavy and he was soon fast asleep. He was beyond happy to have Gabbie back with him, so, so happy. 

[marvelmymarvel]

Old Memories, Same Crush

Part 3/3

George Luz x Medic!Reader

????? x Medic!Reader

Synopsis: You knew George Luz from Rhode Island where you both went to high school. You had a major crush on him, but being the nerd and him being the class clown made it seem impossible. You got over your crush once you joined the Airborne, but then you run into him again. Something blooms.

Warnings: Fighting. PTSD. This won't be too bad (Said no one ever)

A/n: This is it... The moment you’ve all been waiting for. (Or is it....) This may be part one of a multi-part series. Aka following this story through more of the war but under different titles. We shall see, but for now, this is the finale of Old Memories, Same Crush.

Song: Writing’s on the Wall by Sam Smith (Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5wlpOhuhnE) If you listen to the song, you’ll feel it. Trust me.

Story 1: Old Memories, Same Crush (1, 2, 3)

Story 2: Tomorrow Is Another Day (1, 2, 3)

Story 3: TBD

1 Year, 7 Months and 3 Days Later

December 21st, 1944; Bastogne: 22 Years Old

“God damn this weather” you snarled as you tended to the man below you, Gene and Ron. The cold seemed to numb your feelings as well as your fingers and you looked up anxiously as you heard footsteps approaching. In a split second, you grabbed the handgun attached to Ron’s hip beside you and pointed it at the man. “Freund oder Feind ?!” (Friend or Foe?!) you hollered out as the gun shook in your fingers. 

The constant shelling had started to get to you yet you stayed fixed in case it was one of your own, but once you saw the man appear under the moonlight, you wished you shot him. Scoffing, you slammed the handgun back into Speir’s hands as you continued to tend to the wounded man below you. “Do any of you need help-”

“Nope. So you can leave” you snarled out as you finally got the bullet out of the man's thigh, luckily, it didn't hit any major arteries so you just had to wrap him up, but Eugene had different ideas. “Hey, Luz... How about you take Y/n back to base, me and Speirs got this guy...” Your head lifted and you glared angrily at Eugene for his idiocracy. He knew what happened a year and a half ago. He knew how well it went. Eugene gave you a tight-lipped smile before pushing you up, you turned your solid stare towards the man in front of you and rolled your eyes before pushing past. He not only broke your heart that day.

But he also shattered your dreams.

May 19th, 1943; Aldbourne, England: 20 Years Old

“Y/n?” He whispered out shakily as you stepped back with a big smile, hoping he would love you even more now that he knew who you were...

But his frown told another story.

“You lied to me” he snapped out angrily causing you to freeze in fear. He had never raised his voice towards you like this, so it was certainly body numbing. “I didn’t... There's a reason-”

“And I don't wanna fucking hear it” he snarled out as he pushed past you. Normally, you would let it go and move on, but not now and definitely not with him. Spinning on your heels, you stormed after him “George Luz. You listen to me” you growled out as you grabbed his wrist stopping him in his tracks with a jolt. He spun around and glared down at you angrily.

“You know I fixed that book for you?! Protected you!? Did things I’d never do for you?! And all I asked was for you to be honest and tell me if you were the girl I fell in love with! You weren’t, you were never honest with me. The men were right...You are nothing but easy and predictible” he scoffed out as he looked you up and down judgmentally making you feel so small. “I didn't think you would love me...” You whimpered out softly, fighting back the tears the threatened to fall. “Loved.” he snapped out before ripping open his bag and grabbing a book.

The book.

“I loved you Y/n... But not anymore” he stated as he firmly shoved the book into your hands. The tape job on the cover was rough, but it showed that he cared. He began to walk away and it was only after you looked at the two main characters that you snapped out of it. ‘Don't be Scarlet O’Hara, Don't let your Rhett Butler flee’.

“Wait... WAIT LUZ WAIT!” you stated as you took after him once more, grabbing his arm, he dragged you a couple feet before stopping angrily once more. “Please... You’re my Rhett, George... I can’t live without you” you pleaded with tears running down your red cheeks. He ripped his arm away from you and this time, you didn't reach for it. 

“Frankly Dear, I don't give a damn” he whispered harshly before turning and taking off once more. The words that Rhett had told Scarlet, hurt you every time you read ‘Gone with the Wind’...

But hearing it was another feeling you wished you could never feel again.

You wrapped your arm around your waist as you let your sobs come out finally. So this was how Scarlett felt... Alone and scared. Shaking your head, you turned back around and saw Speirs staring at you, softness and understanding was evident in his eyes, but you had no idea why.

December 21st, 1944; Bastogne: 22 Years Old

It was silent as you two walked. You weren't complaining, considering you heard nothing but screams for a medic and/or the shells exploding with the trees all day every day. The silence was peaceful. 

But this walk was anything but peaceful.

You never forgave George for breaking your heart like that and George couldn't forgive you for lying, so you both silently agreed to not talk. For a whole year and 7 months, it was fine. A flare went up and you watched it as it illuminated the sky above you two, hearing some gunshots in the distance you knew you were getting close to the base. You didn't understand why Eugene wanted you two to talk, it wasn't like you two were lovers or ever going to be lovers. You lied to him and he broke your heart. 

The silence was better. 

“We gonna talk or just stay silent?” His sudden voice made the hairs stand on end as it came out of know where. But you didn't answer, instead walked faster to get back to base as fast as you possibly could. Minutes passed before he spoke up again, but this time it was different.

“Do you remember that night? The night of the film?” he stated causing your eyebrows to crinkle as you stopped in your spot. Turning to him, you looked at him in confusion. “Gone with the Wind?” you asked as if there was any other film you two had gone to. He nodded before leaning against a tree that was nearby. “December 21st... 5 years ago today. That's the date of the film, and its the day that I knew I had fallen in love with you... The girl I got suspended for.” 

Your cheeks heated up in the cold air and your breath seemed to catch in your throat. Your hand subconsciously rubbed your bag where the book was, the book he fixed. “Loved” you corrected shakily “You loved me... Please keep it past tense” you muttered finally before turning and walking away. You heard his quick pace behind you before he grabbed your wrist, whipping you around and pinning you to a tree. “You lied to me...” he stated firmly as his cold fingers touched your cheeks, his eyes were bright in the moonlight and for a second you didn't register his words. Rolling your eyes, you tried to shove him away, angry that he had brought up your one little mistake.

But he didn't budge.

“I lied too” he stated once more as his fingers went to your braids. “Which part” you scoffed, thinking that he never loved you and it was all a big lie for his ego... His eyes flicked to yours.

“That I stopped” 

Your heart stopped and your lips began to tremble a little, both from the cold and from his words. “Frankly, I don't think you could do anything that would make me not love you...”

“Then why ignore me?! Why stay silent for a whole year and a half?!” you argued back as you shoved him away. He finally flew away from you, giving you space to pace. “Because... Because I thought silence would be better... I thought you deserved better. But now I see you with Speirs and it gets me all riled up-”

Your scoff made him angry but he stopped mid-sentence none the less. “You got over me, I never got over you Y/n”

“YOU TOLD ME YOU DIDN’T LOVE ME GEORGE!! THIS IS NOT GONE WITH THE WIND” You screamed into the night air causing a few birds to fly away overhead. “Y/n” he started quietly which seemed to calm you down for the minute after your angry outburst. “You are my Scarlet... And I can't go all my life waiting to catch you between husbands” he quoted as he stalked towards you. You knew what he meant, you were never free for him as you were always under some man's arm. “Let's be different than Rhett and Scarlet... I want you to be my one and only. I knew that from day one Y/n when I saw your bright eyes as you watched that film...” 

His hands touched your skin once more and you finally melted into it. He leaned down and pressed his lips to yours, you kissed back after a couple of seconds but once he pushed you to the tree, your memories came back. George’s hand trailed up your waist and it felt like Sobels, you tried reassuring yourself that it was George but the fear still froze you. “I know you want me too” he whispered into your ear sweetly, it was supposed to be comforting and reassuring that he too wanted this, but it did the opposite. He kissed your throat and once his hand cupped your breast you let out a sob. He jumped back quickly, afraid that he had done something wrong, but once he saw the tears he realized what he did.

“I’m sorry” he whispered out as he tried to cup your cheek with his hand but you flinched away in instinct. He dropped his hand and stepped back, ashamed for being so selfish. “I didn't mean to... I-I just wanted you to feel loved and safe... I-I-I completely forgot and I’m so sorry.” he whimpered out before taking off towards the base. Leaving you in the cold.

Once more.

December 21st, 1939; Boston, Massachusets: 16 Years Old

The movie ended 4 hours later and the cold snowy air outside was welcoming considering the theater was hotter than hell itself. Pulling out your gloves from your purse, you pulled them down your freezing fingers before taking off towards the bus stop for your trip back home. A hand grabbed your arm, causing you to yelp and prepare for action, but the face calmed you instantly. Giggling you slammed your fist playfully into George’s arm, “You scared the crud out of me” you teased as you hopped on your toes, trying to warm up. He smiled at you softly, trying to capture how you looked at this moment in his brain. Your rosy cheeks made you look beautiful as the snowflakes seemed to form an ice crown on top of your hair. “Do you want a ride back home? I brought my car.” He finally stated before shoving his frozen hands in his pockets. He wanted an excuse to talk to you, but you took it as a bit creepy.

“Um... My father really wouldn’t like that, but thank you anyway.” You stated sweetly before spotting the bus down the street. “Shoot! I gotta go before it leaves! It was nice meeting you George!” you called out before taking off. “Wait! I didn't get your name!!!” He hollered out but you couldn’t hear him as you climbed on to the bus. He was going to figure out who you were, he thought as the bus took off down the street.

He’d find you again.

“My Scarlett”

December 21st, 1944; Bastogne: 22 Years Old

“You gotta be more careful with my gun babydoll” The voice made a smile rise to your lips as you looked from your spot in the foxhole up towards your ‘dark knight’. Ronald Speirs had been your off-again-on-again beau ever since the night that George shattered your heart. He had taken you for a drink, not liking the look of sadness on your sweet face. One thing led to another and well...

He was the only one you felt safe with when it came to things like that... He took it slow, simple and easy. Never pushing and always making sure you were okay, your mother would approve. But no one else did. Which is why you hid the relationship.

He dropped down and cupped your cheek before kissing you softly. The taste of George still lingered and guilt exploded in your stomach. You shouldn't have kissed back, you just didn't know what to do. “He kissed me” you started as you pulled back, guilt evident in your eyes as you stared up at the man who never once did you wrong. Ron pursed his lips but nodded “you kissed back didn't you?” he muttered out and you recoiled back in fear of being punished. He never once laid a hand on you, but angry men scared you none the less. 

“I didn’t know what to do Ron” you cried out softly as tears began to flow down your face once more, you didn't know how else to show your guilt, but this spoke volumes to the man next to you. He wrapped an arm around your waist before pulling you to sit next to him, your legs went across his lap as he cradled you into him like a child. “Hey hey hey, its okay baby... I’m not mad... I could never be mad” he whispered into your ear as one hand ran through your braids, breaking them apart and out of their band. He knew of your fears, which was why he was gentler around you. He never yelled at you and even went so far as to not yell around you, knowing full well how it affected you. 

How it all affected you.

He let you cry it out but he knew full well that he wasn't going to let you go yet. Not even if George Luz himself ripped you away from him. He would fight for you. Fight for your heart. Fight for your love. You were his. Old memories couldn’t haunt you anymore. That same crush was there, but he would win you over.

For he loved you more.

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[imagethat]

A Day With V | V x Reader Fluff

After the events of DMC5, V survives through the magic that the reader had. V x Wiccan reader. Based on my previous post about the house I headcanon V living in. Fluff~ (P.S. I don't know how to do the 'under the cut' thing, I don't have a computer. Sorry for the long post/^\)

Today was going to be a good day. The forecast predicted mostly sunny with a slight overcast. Morning rays dripped into the living room and kitchen as you went about your morning routine. Setting a kettle on the stove, you measured a precise amount of tea leaves to put into each cup. You had grown the flowers yourself and dried them with meticulous attention to detail, wanting each cup to be perfect. While you waited for the water to boil you went over to the couch and sprawled out to enjoy this peaceful moment in private with a book. It was one your roommate had recommend to you. It was of course very descriptive but slightly ambiguous. It had some undertones of romance too, which you couldn't help but wonder if that was his weird way of flirting with you. V was an odd and mysterious person. You knew of his past, where he came from, and of how you had saved him. The bond you shared during the Quipoths reign of tyranny was stronger than even the trees roots. But even at that, V still had a lot to learn and experience in his newfound life. You eagerly helped him at every step, starting with allowing him to stay with you. Dante had agreed to it simply because Vergil needed time to adjust to his new life as well, and having both posted up at Devil May Cry would've been awkward to say the least. You didn't mind his company, even enjoyed it. He was becoming a soothing presence in your everyday life. As your thoughts drifted off, you didn't notice V come out of his room. He turned the stove off because the water was boiling, poured you two both a cup of tea, then took a seat beside you. "Today looks like it'll be lovely, how are you faring?" He questioned and you smiled gratefully while taking the tea. "I'm doing good, and you?" You asked in return. He simply closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. You had opened the windows earlier to let fresh air in and lit a nicely scented candle. You didn't need V to speak to know he was enjoying the moment. While the two of you enjoyed your cups of tea in silence, you pondered what you'd do today. Each day you tried to experience something new with V, to help familiarize him with the world. It's been two months since the Quipoth broke Red Grave but you wouldn't even be able to tell with how tranquil it seemed right now. You hadn't gotten V much clothes since then. Just a few spare outfits from Dante and Nero. Before you could ask if he'd like to go shopping though he spoke up. "This tea is quite good, I think your skills are improving. Though, I think it could benefit from something to balance its sweetness." He commented and you nodded. "Tomorrow we can bake something to go with our tea if you'd like." You offered and he nodded softly, his black hair flowing with the movement of his head. "That'd be wonderful, please do let me do the measuring though." He replied with a teasing little smirk which made you scrunch your nose at him while crossing your arms childishly. After a short while in silence once more you got up. "I'm going to go get ready, you should too." You said. "Where might you be taking me today?" He questioned, with slight excitement in his eyes. "We should probably get you some clothes that are suitable for someone of your caliber." You teased and pretended to bow. He chuckled which you internally blushed at. His voice was deep and could make you flush a deep red without warning. After taking a shower and dressing for the weather you were ready. V was already at the kitchen counter waiting for you by the time you were done. You gave one final check to make sure you had everything before departing. While getting ready you had put some thought into the stores you wanted to go to, trying your best to choose places you thought V would like. If you were honest, it was a bit hard to tell what his fashion sense was. You knew his choice of clothes previously was simply because they were all he could find after being split from Vergil and since then he'd never gotten the chance to choose his own clothes. Fall was starting to change the trees. Leaves made satisfying crunching noises beneath your feet as the two of you walked together. You were too distracted with your thoughts to notice V's eyes lingering on you. He enjoyed the way you seemed to put extra effort into stepping on the fallen leaves. You reached your first destination, which was a mall. Originally you thought he wouldn't enjoy the crowds, but the mall just had so many different types of clothes to offer. Plus you could stop by a bookstore there as well. V seemed to walk closer to you when inside, keeping his head down. He was uninterested in speaking to others, but it was hard not for people to look at him. He was tall and anyone would be lying if they said he wasn't gorgeous. Somewhat to your disappointment as well was the fact that he didn't seem interested in too many of the shops either. And you had to put in a little extra effort to get him to go into any of them. V isn't very frivolous per se, seeking out comfortable and functional clothes over the most fashionable types. When you passed by the bookstore though, he took your hand and practically dragged you in. A testament to how much enjoyed the comfort of a good book. You were okay with this and enjoyed seeing him so happy. The way he got completely lost in the pages or how he'd excitedly explain the synopsis of a book to you never failed to capture your heart. But after a few hours you felt it important to remind him of today's goal. "I think we've spent long enough here, we should go look somewhere else." You said softly, being respectful of the other customers, especially the ones reading. He gave you a sad look, pleading to you with his eyes. "Just a little longer, please?" He asked while placing a hand on top of yours. You couldn't help it, giving into staying for a little while longer. After another hour you brought up leaving once again. "I'll get you that book you're holding, but only if we can leave now." You offered and he seemed to contemplate the offer before agreeing. "We can go to the library tomorrow." You added to cheer him up a little. On the walk to your next destination he continued to read, and multiple times you had to make sure he didn't bump into anything. He could be a real dork sometimes honestly. You decided to go to a thrift store as your second destination, simply because the prices would be more reasonable and there would be a wide range of items. You hoped he could find some decorations for his room too, really wanting to make your apartment as home-y as possible. You left him to look at the clothes while you searched through the stores CD rack. Since the CD's were so cheap, you got into the habit of just buying whatever seemed interesting. Though, you left V a little to long as he found his way to the book section. Much to your suprise though, he had a few items of clothing picked out. "Do you ever think of anything besides reading?" You teased. "Well," he pondered before looking down at you, "I suppose you cross my mind every now and then." He mused and you just rolled your eyes before taking a look at the clothes he had chosen out. A few simple T-shirts, some pull over sweaters, and some jeans. Underneath the clothes though you found an interesting quill pen and inkwell. It looked old so he probably wouldn't be writing with it but it would look nice on his book shelf. You smiled softly before returning his items to the small carry around cart. "Well Mr. Poetry, are you ready to go?" You teased, using the name Dante usually called V. You sorta wanted to have V choose out a real name for himself, and you would have no problems if he preferred V, but you hadn't asked yet. "Hmmm. I suppose so." He responded, clearly half submerged mentally in the book he was holding. You stowed away your thoughts and nudged him slightly to remind him that you were leaving. After paying for everything you hummed softly. "Is there anything else you need? We still have time to go to another shop." You offered and V nodded no. "You've been kind enough already. I am very grateful." He replied. You two promptly started your journey back home after that. Once you got back you put the clothes V got from the thrift store into the washer and started preparing for dinner. When V returned from his room, he was wearing a T-shirt and a comfy pair of sweatpants. Looking grateful that he no longer had to wear the heavy leather jacket around the house as a top. You admittedly found it weird to see him in such normal clothes but cute at the same time. He cleared his throat, you didn't realize you were staring until he did. You muttered sorry and continued what you were doing. He let Griffon and Shadow free. Griffon found a comfy spot on the counter where he was perfectly set to pester you while Shadow curled up on the couch. "Jesus, you think of V all day but what about me? I'm gonna get stiff if I ever sit that long again." The bird hissed out and you rolled your eyes at how overly dramatic he was being. "Would you prefer I feed you to the demons?" You questioned. "Whatever, I'm sure V would appreciate that. Give you two some alone time if you know what I mean." He shot back. You glanced at the man on the couch who had a hand rested idly on Shadows head. He didn't seem to acknowledge the birds comment. "Oh curious are we?" Griffon asked and you gave him a soft tch. "Curious about the way our chicken should be served tonight." To which it was Griffons turn to reply with tch. The night went on without interruption after that, Shadow sitting at your feet trying to get a scrap of food when dinner was served even though she was well strong enough to just take your food. After dinner you cared for the plants and cleansed the space while V continued to read on the couch. His mind really didn't leave his books. You were fine staying friends with the dark gentleman who was always in your presence but you wouldn't deny you wanted more too. Maybe he just needed more time though. The world was so new to him. V called it a night early and left you in the company of Shadow. After you finished with your work you sat down on the couch and petted her head softly. You always loved when it was quiet like this. The moon would be full soon, so watching it rise above the skyline was a treat. It bathed the world in such an ethereal glow. You recalled your times as a kid when you'd sneak into the forest during the full moon. Your parents were heavily against your Wiccan identity and sought to derail it in any way possible. Even if that meant putting a lock on every window and door in the house. You had always felt more connected to the earth and moon than others growing up. Your dreams were mysterious, often speaking to you of the future. Later in life you learned they were not just dreams, but actual demons who you communed with nightly. At the age of 15 you ran away from your home. Something whispered to you in the night, telling you that you'd find yourself in Red Grave. That's how you met Dante, and your demon hunting slash Wiccan healing days began. It hurt to run away, you knew in your heart your parents just wanted the best for you but if you had never ran away you probably wouldn't have been as happy as you are now. You had found your own family, one that accepted you. Nero and Nico playing their music so loud, they had to yell when they bickered. Dante being a lovable train wreck. Shopping with Lady and Trish. Chatting with Vergil about music and nature. Most of all the company of your roommate V. "Are you alright?" His voice was soft but it startled you. So buried in your own thoughts for the second time today, you didn't hear V come out of his room. You didn't realize you were crying either. In a attempt to hide that fact, you quickly rubbed your cheeks. "O-oh yeah! I'm great!" You lied, but your voice betrayed you. V left you for a moment, only to return with a blanket from his room which he draped over your shoulders. He made his way into the kitchen and came back with a cup of hot cocoa. He sat down next to you and fidgeted with his fingers. Trying his best to think of something to say. You spoke up first though. "Thanks… I was just… Well, you know how I am. I sorta get lost in my own head sometimes." You muttered. "I'm fine though, I promise." You quickly added. The moonlight seeping in through the window made him more beautiful. You didn't know that was even possible. The white glow bounced off his pale skin, and his green eyes seemed even deeper before the moon. "If we are going to reminisce about the past, then… I'd like to thank you." He said, you tilted your head softly. "I didn't know it was possible to feel such comfort in the presence of another. Nor did I think I'd be lucky enough to experience life the way I have with you." He continued. "I'm eternally grateful for all that you've done. If you should ever need anything, please let me know." V glanced towards you, and even with the soft lighting that you two were in you could tell he was serious. If you weren't tired from the crying you wouldn't have done this, but the fog from your emotions blurred out your reasoning. You leaned over and rested your head on his shoulder muttering thanks softly before your eyes closed. V tensed for a second. He wasn't yet used to physical contact, but he always enjoyed your hugs. He wrapped an arm around you in return and rested his hand gently on your head. Softly he began humming a melody, which lulled you to sleep. V only stopped after he felt your breathing even out and he was assured you had fallen asleep. Griffon internally teased V about it mercilessly after that, but maybe… just maybe V was starting to feel something for you. Or maybe he always had. He wasn't sure, but nonetheless, he admitted he cared for you deeply on that night.