#going to change it after my London trip
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robotslenderman · 2 years ago
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I am doing better.
So basically the story is that the full time radiographer hung out for me to get hired and start, then quit. So I had three weeks with her and then she was gone.
It all went to hell from there. Because we had to bring in The Casuals. And they all have full time jobs during the week so a lot of them, especially one in particular who now gets referred to with the prefix "bloody", would flake out. So innocent little me would say no scans today to patients, come back tomorrow, only for those patients to come back tomorrow very angry they got told to come back only to be told no more scans.
so that. sucked. dealing with angry patients sucked. it also sucked bc I was the only receptionist, I still hadn't finished my training because nobody was around to cover me, the only other receptionist had exams and so couldn't come in, and one of the sonos took to ordering me around like her personal servant
but.
I started asking the front desk to notify the doctors in the morning, which cut about 50% of the pissiness.
45% more pissiness was cut by me hedging with patients and advising them to call ahead on the day, that I couldn't say for sure if someone would be in until they were physically in the building
The other 5% I just threw the phone numbers of our competitors at them to make them go away.
So a lot of the hostility has gone down as I've gotten better at redirecting patients before they waste a shit ton of time coming over, communicating with the doctors, etc.
Also my skin is getting thicker. One of the doctors called us a bunch of slackers and I didn't even blink, whereas a comment from him a couple of weeks before had me on the brink of tears (I think that might have been the same day I wrote that initial post because that was a really bad day). Another patient got really mad at me for not letting him walk in without an appointment and threatened to leave bad reviews and I stood my ground firmly, and was barely rattled afterwards.
So this week, while I was utterly dreading it at the beginning, was a hell of a lot better than the last few. Was seriously considering walking off at one point but I'm able to handle it way better now.
still alive against my will
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velvetures · 2 years ago
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Got Me Snoring
A/N: One of my favorite things inspired by all the Ghost/König cosplayer TikToks using that one, song audio. Summary: Ghost admits getting head is boring. Reader isn't happy with that idea and goes about changing his mind. T/W: NS/FW 18+ Only, blowjobs, deepthroating, size kink if you squint, spit?, cursing, aggressive tension?, taunting, not proofread, and it's been a long ass time since I've written full-on smut.
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“All I’m sayin’ is that if she calls again, I’m not about to answer.” Soap’s voice carried from the living space of the hotel room to the kitchenette where you stood microwaving some rice from a convenience store down the street.
After-mission talk always leads to the most strange conversations. Maybe the adrenaline or the high of getting almost killed got everyone in a talking mood. However as the Captain slid behind you to go grab more ice outside in the hallway, you couldn’t help but shoot him a questioning look. They’d been talking about their previous accomplishments and failures in the bedroom for nearly twenty minutes, and thankfully they’d not roped you into the ridiculous conversation but with the Captain leaving out of the room, it drew their eyesight right to you standing patiently for your instant rice to finish cooking.
“What about you, huh?” Gaz was the one to poke a little. “Have any horror stories from the bedroom?” His eyebrows raised in mischievous curiosity as all three men sat staring at you with great intent.
“I’ve faked it plenty of times.” You reply offhandedly, waving a hand at them and going back to staring at the small plastic cup rotating around in the microwave.
You overheard the men pass through the moment of silence with low laughs, most noticeably, Ghost. Who’d apparently found something very funny and decided to grace everyone with the sound of deep and resounding chuckles. With a gloved hand, you take out your food and rejoin them in the room, finding a spot on the corner of one of the beds and crossing your legs to hold the bowl while you watch and listen to more of their recounted stories.
Soap complained more about the one night he’d met up with one of the most beautiful women he’d ever met, and drank himself into oblivion to try and ease his nerves. The only problem was, that when he finally had enough liquid courage to make a move, he couldn’t get it up. Even watching him recount the tale now, you could see his embarrassment. You couldn’t imagine just how beautiful that woman had to be for Soap to give himself whiskey-dick so bad that to this day he regretted the memory and undoubtedly wished he could take it back. Gaz got pressured into retelling the story of the woman he met in Russia just for you since you’d never heard it; Detailing just how she’d been absolutely obsessed with him right from the get-go.
She couldn’t stop fawning over his accent and just how downright good-looking he was. Gaz on the other hand felt very embarrassed and never really tried to take things further on that trip. Fortunately for him, on a trip back a few months later for pleasure, he ran into the woman again and this time around she wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Soap and Ghost laughed, poking fun at how utterly exhausted Garrick was when he met up with them in London. His shit-eating grin was more than enough for them to surmise that his little Russian vixen had taken him for a hell of a ride.
Then there was Ghost.
He didn’t have much to say in the way of his own successes, but did share one or two small comparisons with the other two as they kept pulling out detail after detail about the many people they’d met over the years and how they either felt they’d left their mark… or totally fucking missed it. All of it came to a very interesting topic that you suddenly became very interested in when Ghost uttered one single statement that left your mouth hanging open and staring at him almost in disbelief.
“I don’t like someone blowin’ my cock,” his voice sounded flat. Totally unbothered and nearly sleeping at the idea. “Never cared much for it when half doesn’t fit.”
You couldn’t help but insert yourself into the conversation after a long hour or so of sitting like a viewer at a movie. “Wait a second… You mean to tell me you don’t like getting head because you're too big?” The gasp in your tone was obvious, and even Soap and Gaz looked at him a little strangely as if they didn’t truly believe the idea either. It gave you a bit more reassurance in your belief that almost all men enjoyed it. Sure, there was the odd chance that Ghost just didn’t like it at all, but you really wanted to hear his explanation if he’d give you one.
The Lieutenant turned to look at you and nodded stiffly. “Yeah, ‘bout always puts me to sleep.”
It was at this point you felt the slightest urge to tell him he’d never had someone give him a legitimately good blowjob before. But before you could even say something to the contrary, a thought crossed your mind. Ghost didn’t seem like the kind of man who attracted ill-experienced women. Especially when he had already proven throughout the evening that his previous encounters were much more interesting and expansive than even that of yourself. Something a bit… jealous rose inside of you at the thought.
Imagining your Lieutenant laying on his back and hardly making any sort of sound while someone pulls out every single trick in their arsenal to make a blowjob somewhat entertaining or arousing. You didn’t necessarily profess yourself to have a crush on Ghost, due to just how grey the line between operators and anything felt when you spent so much time together under high-stress environments. There was bound to be some level of emotional attachment that devolved past… professional. And for whatever it was, knowing that Ghost had such a bad opinion on the receiving end of pleasure became a challenge you wanted to overcome.
About that time, Price returned with half-melted ice and a half-smoked cigar hanging between his lips.
“Finished talking about chasin’ tail yet?” He grumbled, walking past the group of you still sitting around each other like a bunch of kids getting caught staying up late by Dad at a sleepover. “Wanna go to fuckin’ sleep.”
He dropped the ice bucket down on the dresser with a little thud before settling himself down on the pull-out couch with his hat covering his eyes and both arms resting behind his head with that cigar still puffing smoke rings into the air. Ghost was the first to stand up, making his way out of the hotel room without as much as a comment about when he’d be back or where he was going. Your eyes trailed over his shoulders tapering into a slim waist before giving way again to thick and muscular thighs enhanced by all of gear still strapped to his body. His kit did leave a lot to the imagination. And god did your mind start to wander as both Soap and Gaz began winding down, settling themselves down to sleep for the night or at least lay somewhere quietly so the Captain didn’t lose any more of his patience and kick someone out or force them to pay for their own room. Not nearly tired enough with all of the questions and thoughts about Ghost now floating through your mind, you didn’t care the least bit about laying down or pretending not to care about the fact of the matter and headed out of the hotel room after the Lieutenant as Soap turned out the final lamp in the corner of the room.
The air was a bit cold outside without your jacket, breath materializing in front of you in light wisps of fog with every exhale as you looked down both ends of the hallway hoping to see some sign of where Ghost might’ve gone to. Down on the far left side, a larger cloud of smoke blew past the breezeway entrance and you knew right away that Ghost would be at the end of it. And when your eyes peeked around the corner, you weren’t the least bit surprised to see him with a shoulder resting up against the wall; his back to you with enough of his mask pulled up so that he could smoke a cigarette. The sweet vanilla and cherry smell hit you like a wall, reminding you that Ghost preferred rolling his own cigarettes and used pipe tobacco instead of buying packs of anything else.
Leaves no trace behind… He’d explained without prompting one night after noticing that you’d been watching him.
“Followin’ me now?” His voice heavy with smoke and unhindered by his mask landed directly on you, not even needing to turn around to know you were the one tailing after him.
“Couldn’t let you freeze to death alone.” You reply with a little smile, taking it as your chance to go ahead and walk -slowly- over to him giving him the privacy to smoke without needing to fuss with keeping his face covered.
By standing just at his back leaning against the wall, he knew right where you were, and it put the weight of conversation on him for the moment. He gave you a gruff sort of sound and took another drag off his cigarette before turning just far enough to offer it to you. You take it from his gloved fingers carefully, licking your lips a little in slight nervousness. This wasn’t the first time he’d offered you a hit, but it was the first time you’d ever actually taken him up on it. Seeing the damp rolling paper on the end made you shiver a little; Hopefully, the cold weather would be a good enough excuse to keep him from recognizing your sudden anxiety around him. Wrapping your lips around it and inhaling, you’re a little more than guilty for noticing the taste of Ghost instead of the vanilla and cherry. With a quick glance to your side, you saw his mask was pulled back down over his mouth and his dark eyes were focused right on you as you blew the smoke out of your mouth and back in through your nose. Attempting to hand it back, he just shakes his head.
“You didn’t come out here to be cold,” He finally broke the silence. “What’d you really want from me?”
No matter how long you spent around Ghost, you never got used to just how miserably direct Ghost could be. Like nothing was truly surprising to him or worth being the least bit delicate over. Even if it concerned someone -like yourself- at least attempting to be a little more discretionary. Yet you sighed and took another drag before tossing the rest of it down on the concrete, putting out the ember with the toe of your boot.
“Were you lying earlier?” Your question falls a little short of confident, giving Ghost the impression right away that you were nervous. For a split second, you thought you saw the phantom of a smile under the cover of his mask before it was quickly hidden back under late-night shadow and white paint. Ghost put his hands in the pockets of his sweatshirt and gave a sigh, making more fog swirl around and through the woven material around his mouth. Another thought of what his mouth looked like flashed through your failing mind.
“Why would it matter?”
You licked at your bottom lip, trying to figure out a way to word this without sounding desperate or downright shameless in front of your commanding officer… you shouldn't be thinking about doing this in the first place. So many more bad outcomes could come of this than the one good one. Even then, it was risky. Leaving you a bit dazed and staring at Ghost.
“Asked you a question. I’m expectin’ an answer.” He pressed forward, a slight swagger in his hips as he got closer to you, resting a hand on the wall and tilting his head a little to the side. Damn near mocking you for being so much smaller and easily intimidated. You look down at your boots for a moment, deciding to just put your money where your mouth is and take the hit no matter the outcome.
“If you weren’t lying…” You look up, internally screaming at how heavy his eyes look down on you. “I’d like to try and change your mind.”
A deep chuckle comes from the Lieutenant in response followed by his heavy hand resting on your shoulder, almost totally engulfing it.
“You’re jokin’,” His voice lowered with humor that made you almost shrivel up and die inside. “Why would I let you do that?” You give a frustrated sigh and take a step back away from Ghost. Mentally and physically distancing yourself from the slight Ghost had given you by accident or otherwise.
“Never mind.” You give a short nod and turn on your heel to head back to the hotel room and find somewhere to curl up on the floor or in a bed with someone and try to sleep off your damaged ego.
Yet five steps away from Ghost, you’re stopped short with his arm snaked around your waist tightly and his mouth resting against your ear with a heavy and hot breath fanning against your neck. His palm spreads over your stomach and squeezes almost aggressively at the soft flesh under your shirt. Tall and wide, Ghost yanks your back flush to his chest as a silent threat.
“Don’t fuckin’ walk away from me,” His low growl makes you shiver. “I’m not finished with ya.”
In an instant, you’re spun around and hauled aggressively with your back against the nearest wall with Ghost’s chest holding you from fighting back. His legs limit your ability to try and escape out from under his arms, and while one hand is flat against your chest, the other restricts both your wrists above your head. Breath evacuates your lungs with the sudden shock of your back against the wall, but your eyes are locked on Ghost’s as he glares at you harshly through the wavering mist of his breath in the cold air.
“Now I’ve got you pacified…” His smirk was clear in tone, outright mocking you by pressing those massive thighs tighter against yours. “Let’s continue shall we?” The gloved hand pressed against your heaving chest slides up to grasp firmly at your chin and jerk it up to look him in the eyes.
“Why don’t you be a good little thing and tell me why you think you could change my mind, and maybe… I won’t punish you for talkin’ shit to your superior officer.” He spat loudly, his face less than an inch from yours, eyes flaming with aggression.
“Sorry Lieutenant…” You mutter stiffly through the struggle of his hand against your jaw. “Thought I could do better.” You add a lot weaker, averting your eyes as far from Ghost as you can.
“What was that?” He made dark fun of you, terribly obvious, and downright happy with himself. “Say it again.”
You squirm in his grasp, only to get your wrists slid up higher on the wall and a thigh shoved between your own to lift your feet almost totally off the ground. Toes tapping the ground, Ghost holds you totally of his own power without the slightest effort needed to keep you held right where he wanted you to be.
“Thought I could do better.” You repeat yourself louder, and more clearly, feeling utterly stupid for enduring such pathetic treatment. Only you knew it was your fault for letting such a pipe dream of an idea come to reality by prodding Ghost about his sex life so confidently. The masked man hummed lowly, tilting his head as he inspected your face lighted only by a small sliver of moonlight creeping around the corner of the hallway.
“Better, huh?” Ghost chuckles darkly, this thumb tracing over the bottom curve of your lip carefully. “That’s a lot of confidence for someone so small.”
You can’t help but roll your eyes. “Size has nothing to do with it.”
Ghost barks laughter, grumbling something under his breath before dropping his hand away from your jaw and releasing one of your hands to press against his groin. You can’t miss his meaning from the massive erection pressing back against your hand and twitching impatiently when your Lieutenant squeezes your hand around it tighter. A growl escapes his throat and he looks up at you with almost evil eyes.
“Still think size doesn’t matter, little one?” He questions, one eyebrow raising above the hemline of his mask.
Your mouth falls open in shock. Not only because of the sheer girth of Ghost’s cock pulsing in your hand but realizing that he was actually taking your proposal seriously no matter how aggressive his mockery of you was. It shouldn’t have been so damn surprising when taking into account just how large of a man Ghost is. Surely everything would be proportionate, and his erection was proof of it.
Your face is enough to make Ghost chuckle. “That’s what I thought…”
It’s enough of a dismissal that thaws your speechlessness and throws you right back into the present with enough of the guts to speak up for your own desires.
“I can do it,” You blurt breathlessly, fingers tracing along the curve of Ghost’s dick and earning a lusty growl from him. “I can make it good. I’ll make it fit.” You nod your head feverishly in an attempt to keep your chance open. Ghost’s eyes widen at your desperation and his cock twitches hard in your palm with the sound of your shallow breaths and pleading eyes.
“You want it, huh?” He questions, mask moving like he’s grinning under it.
“Then get on your fuckin’ knees.”
The moment his hands release you, you feel yourself sliding down the wall until your knees make a bruising thud against the concrete floor in front of Ghost. Your hands holding on his thighs without the slightest care that you were standing in the middle of a hotel breezeway where anyone could see you. A weight settled in your lower stomach with the idea of anyone coming out of their room and witnessing such a sight.
“My belt.” Ghost instructs a bit pinched, looking down at you with his chin almost touching his chest.
You’re frantic yet shaking as your hands slide up his thighs and begin pulling his belt loose, hearing that metallic clink as you pull the two sides apart with a watering mouth. No instruction is necessary for you to know where to go next, and as you unbutton his cargo pants, your free hand palms his cock as you pull down just enough of his waistband to expose him but not make him cold. Ghost’s hands help just a little, settling extra material where he prefers it, almost patiently holding up his own hoodie and t-shirt out of your way as you slid your hands under his boxers.
“Fuck…” Ghost mutters quietly, tensing when your fingers wrap around his base and free him from his underwear.
Your thumb smears over his swollen head soft enough to not make him jerk away with sensitivity, and you lick your lips at just how wet his cock already is from sheer anticipation. Hell, you were turned on too, practically dripping in your underwear at the sight of Ghost with nothing but a perfect dick exposed and ready for your mouth. The first lick is a teasing one. Flattening it over his head just because you couldn’t wait to taste him, gathering up his arousal, and making it a point to swallow with your eyes locked right on Ghost’s. You're certain it’s enough to affect him just by the way he grunts and rests both of his hands against the wall behind you to steady himself.
When your lips wrap around his tip and slide down towards his base slowly, you hollow your lips and suck hard. Almost mimicking drinking through a straw with both hands wrapped around his thick base to restrict blood flow, adding to his sensitivity. You feel his feet flex in his boots next to your thighs and another low grunt. It spurs you forward, sinking down further and massaging your tongue on the underside before raising back up to lick at his frenulum and repeating the process with quiet whines each time he’s unable to hold back some sound.
“Shit-” He hisses after no more than a couple of minutes, jerking his hips back away from you and moving your hands out of the way so he could tighten his own fist around his cock with a heaving chest.
He stays like that for a few moments, undoubtedly trying to stave off the pleasure you’d been giving before his eyes meet yours again and they’re downright hungry and raging with fury that you’d brought him so close without any extra fancy moves or those fake moans that porn always showed. With one quick movement, he stepped closer and tilted your head back until it gently rested against the wall behind you, his cock smearing your own spit and his arousal over your open and awaiting mouth.
“You look pretty like this…” He muttered, rubbing his length over your face and tapping it teasingly against your mouth. “You hungry for more?” You’re sticking out your tongue and nodding right away, earning you a tense chuckle and the feeling of Ghost’s dick sliding into your mouth while his hand cushions the back of your head from the wall.
“Let me feed it to ya,” He grunts. “Shove my fat cock in your mouth and fuck your throat..” He adds with a feral sort of sound mixing with an ever-thickening accent.
You moan around his length, feeling your jaw muscles begin to start aching when your nose just barely grazes his pubic bone and his tip touches the back of your throat. He’s thick enough to qualify as the largest you’ve ever experienced, but you’re not the slightest bit concerned about whether he’ll be able to fit. You know he’ll make it fit if nothing else.
And him utterly pounding your throat sounded so hot that you tried pushing further down on his shaft yourself. Eager to feel Ghost as deep in you as possible. Ghost obliges you, and rocks his hips forward slowly, easing his thick head past that ring of pressure at the back of your throat and cursing under his breath when a wet, gurgling sound vibrates around his shaft as you begin swallowing around him.
“Bloody, fuucckk yes…” His groans punch through the quiet air, far louder than he should be risking in such a public space. But he’s only getting started with this experience as your nose presses against his pubic bone, and his hand flattens against the wall.
“So tight… doggin’ me right where anyone can see.”
It’s the thought that had you so eager, and right away you felt just how much it turned Ghost on too. Because the second he said it, he pulled back just a fraction and pushed himself back down your throat, beginning tight and quick thrusts that made your eyes roll back. He kept a furious pace, growling and holding tight to the back of your head until you tapped at the back of his thigh a few times, and he pulled out with a loud grunt, giving you a moment to breathe. You panted, seeing a thick web of spit connecting your mouth and his tip before watching it break and drip down your shirt.
You’re about to tell Ghost… something. But you instantly lose thought of it when he’s bent down with his mask rucked up just far enough to smash his mouth to yours, shoving his tongue in your mouth and practically eating you from the inside out. You can still taste the salty edge of his skin, and it’s almost heady to have his mouth mingling with yours and sharing his arousal between soft moans and heavy breaths. The kiss is long and feverish, but not near long enough before he’s standing back up and stroking his fist up and down his cock right in front of you like an unreal kind of dream somehow coming to life.
“Please.” You mutter a bit hoarse from the rough treatment of your throat, totally unsure of what you really want most. Between his mouth, words, and dick there’s so much more than just one you desired, but at least one of them needed to be delivered to you to attempt satisfaction.
“Open up, little one…” Ghost whispers face re-masked already, and it makes you whine pathetically, having naively believed he’d allow you just one glimpse at the mouth you’d just tasted. “Need to have more of you.” You’re totally happy to resign by leaning your head back against the wall with your tongue wetting your lips in the cold air.
Ghost starts painfully slow, holding your head on both sides of your jaw and teasing his head against your tongue and the textured roof of your mouth; indiscernible words falling from his mouth and his eyes squeezed tightly shut. You would’ve thought it was nothing more than your Lieutenant just taking his pleasure as offered. But the way his thumbs brushed over your cheeks and his fingers would occasionally rub over the stretched muscles in your jaw gave you the feeling that he was well aware of what you were surrendering to him. As well as how thankful he was to have you on your knees, and looking so fucking angelic swallowing and spitting on his dick like a dirty little whore.
“Let me - Wanna…” His rising breaths and steady strokes begin to falter the longer he thrusts inside your mouth, meticulously avoiding forcing himself deeper in disappointment; resulting in your whining and muffled complaints and pleasure. Had his hands not been purposefully holding you back to prolong the session, Ghost probably wouldn’t have lasted this long.
“P-patience…” His stammer made your chest clench in satisfaction. “Don’t - don’t wanna finish in your mouth…”. That breathy comment nearly struck you stiff as concrete.
You couldn’t believe that after this entire ordeal, Ghost was actually trying to end a blowjob without you finishing it the way you honestly believed it should always end. With you swallowing every last fucking drop that the Lieutenant gave you; wearing a goddamn smile bigger than anyone has ever seen. If he hadn’t been lying and head never impressed him, there wasn’t a chance in Hell you were going to let him finish anywhere that wasn’t down your throat. In a split second, you were shaking your head no and pulling back off his cock with a slight gasp.
“No, finish.” It’s the most demanding and certain you’ve sounded all night. “Finish in my mouth, Ghost.”
His eyes say it all.
They’re wide with his pupils blown at impressive dimensions and his thick eyelashes flutter as his shocked expression forces him to blink over and over again to make sense of you. Mouth and chin covered in spit, on your knees, and literally begging him to come in your mouth.
“Goddamn, you’re so fucking filthy…” He mutters aloud, watching intently as you slide back down over him one more time and begin doing what you wanted to from the very beginning.
Bring Ghost to his knees.
It’s a moment before you have him cursing and holding onto the wall with both hands again as you push deeper and deeper until you're teasing the tip of your nose against him yet again. Unwilling to let him pull you off this time or prolong this. Deserving this release was the bare minimum. Not only did you want to provide him ultimate pleasure where no one else had, but you enjoyed every single bit of it. You needed this as much -if not more- than Ghost.
Heavy and twitching in your mouth, Ghost was teetering on the edge of his orgasm with stuttering hips and one hand sliding down to rest on your head. Not pushing this time, just laying at the crown like your movements were too much to feel with only one part of his body. Short pants were cut short by unintelligible words and strained attempts to say what you already knew.
As if giving your final approval of the idea Ghost had found unacceptable, you push him as deep as you could one final time; Hearing his loud shout echo down the breezeway as both of his hands grabbed harshly onto the sides of your head. Pumping stream after stream of his hot release down your throat you moaned deeply, feeling him gently rock his hips against your face as he rode down his high on shaky legs. You gagged a little as he pulled out, feeling your throat begin to burn in an unfamiliar way that had never followed you sharing a moment like this with another man. Only one look at Ghost’s cock right in front of your face was more than enough to reassure you he’d just been the one who gave you enough of a delicious stretch to feel for days to come.
Your eyes met his and a small little shy smile crossed your sore lips, contrasting the absolutely deplorable -and punishable- act you’d ever committed with a superior officer. Wordlessly Ghost tucked himself back into his underwear and neglected to button his pants back up before dropping to a knee right in front of you and pulling up his mask again to brush his lips against yours.
“Want to taste,” He whispered ever-so-softly, hands holding your head gently.
“Need to taste me inside your mouth.” He added, licking your lips before closing the distance between you for a second time. This kiss was still intense. Ghost controlling the pace and just how much dominance you had, which nearly came to zero when he licked into your mouth, groaning shamelessly. He could taste his release coating your mouth as he utterly overwhelmed you with kisses, licks, bites, and more moans that fell like honey on your ears.
You were the first to pull back for a gasp of air you’d gone full minutes without, feeling your own mouth and body beginning to feel a little weak with exhaustion not typical of a well-conditioned soldier like yourself. Your Lieutenant took note right away and rested his head against yours reassuringly, his nose touching yours.
“You’re too cold to be out here like this.” He whispered, pulling your cheek affectionately and wrapping the other arm around you. “Not gonna let you freeze after that.” He chuckled a bit sluggishly, kissing you again long and chaste.
He pulled his mask back down and gave very little effort to pick you up off your knees and into his arms without question or hesitation. Leaving you feeling like a treasured prize he’d won and refused to let out of his sight for more than a moment. Safe and protected, you couldn’t care one bit about the cold nipping through your thin clothes and resting your head against Ghost’s shoulder as he carried you back to the hotel room the 141 had already retired for the night in.
Expertly avoiding Soap and Gaz laying on couch cushions on the floor and covered with extra bedsheets, sliding around Price’s bed without bumping it, all while carrying you Ghost sat you down on the edge of the bed he’d been keen to claim as his own right when you’d arrived. You were nearly asleep just sitting there when he unlaced your boots enough to tug them off, pulled your shirt off over your head, and replaced it with one of his hoodies. Finally, he takes off your pants and nods for you to move up to the top of the bed, acting just as he would normally. But as he climbed into the bed next to you and tugged you back against him tightly, you realized you’d gotten a lot more than you bargained for.
Sure you might’ve changed Ghost’s mind about getting head… but you weren’t finished yet. Because Ghost was curling his arm around your waist and burying his masked face in between your shoulder blades like cuddling with you at night was the usual way of things. His fingers innocently traced the waistband of your underwear, and he radiated body heat that melted away the fringe sensations of cold on your body easily.
“I’ve made a decision,” He whispers very quietly so as not to wake the others. And you wiggle back a little closer to him, nodding your head as a silent acknowledgment for him to go on. Expecting him to say that you did -in fact- change his mind about getting blown.
“You’re mine now.”
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wathanism · 9 months ago
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alright gang, let's do a fun little thought experiment.
which city would biden have to completely annihilate before you decide not to vote for him?
for the sake of this thought experiment, let's ignore actual real-world alliances between countries. it can be london, or paris, or athens, or barcelona, or rome, or berlin, or even an american city like new york or new orleans or los angeles or honolulu. this is all a hypothetical after all.
really consider it. if you're gonna bother to yap in my notes, at least try to engage with this question in good faith. imagine opening up the news, and you see that a bomb was dropped on this city, and then the bombs never stop. imagine you had a friend there. imagine you'd had a trip planned to meet them and see the sights. imagine every museum, every historical monument, every theatre, every university destroyed. imagine that one day, you lived in a world where this city existed, and the next, it has completely ceased to be. it's effectively been pompeii-ed out of our world entirely. there is no longer a big ben, or a parthenon, or a colosseum, or what have you. there is no longer that foreign musician you loved from this city. there are no longer sweet old grannies to share old family recipes from this part of the world. there is no longer the online friend you wanted to visit. there is no longer your vacation plans.
don't hit me with, "but it's netanyahu doing this," because israel would literally run out of ammunition in weeks without the US. don't hit me with, "but trump!" because that quite literally is not the fucking question.
which city has to completely cease to exist before you even consider that this system isn't ever going to work?
if you are still planning to vote for biden, then either a) biden could drop a nuke on any city on earth and it wouldn't be a dealbreaker for you, or b) in your mind, people and places are divided into ones that are acceptable to destroy and ones that are not. or at least, there are ones that are more acceptable to destroy than others.
come up with your answer and either realize you sound like a fascist and work to change it, or embrace that you are a fascist and stop lying to us about caring about people of color.
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missnxthingg · 5 months ago
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𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄, 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃 - 𝐹𝑂𝑈𝑅
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 - Lando Norris x Single Mom!Reader (Best friends to lovers) 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 - Lando and Y/N have always been the best of friends, always there for each other through thick and thin. After years of sharing the paddock and building their own silly little family, both of them just can't hold their feelings inside anymore, even though they're are both afraid it would ruin their friendship. So who'll take the first step? 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 - 6.1 K | 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 - A few swearing and self depreciating behaviour, but this is a very very cute chapter as well! 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 - We're almost done with the series 😭 only two more chapters to go. But I got so attached to it, I'm not ready to say goodbye
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“Shh, keep your voice down”, Y/N said to Lando as they were about to open the door to her house. It was late night at London, and she was pretty sure Olivia was already put to bed by her mother, as usually. But she was surprised when they entered the house, finding her daughter almost tripping on her feet and sliding on the wooden floors with her socks, rushing to the front door.
“Uncle Lando!”, she shouted, jumping into his arms. “You won!”, she cheered, making him smile with how excited she was to see him. Lando buried his face in her hair, taking in all the glory of having Olivia so proud of him.
“I won! Did you see that I dedicated my win to you?”
“Yes, I did”, she smiled, resting her tiny hands on each of his cheeks and squishing them. Lando had the biggest and most genuine smile plastered on his face, one that he has reserved only for Ollie.
Y/N’s mother appeared right behind them with a tired smile. Apparently, the little one has been giving her grandmother a hard time since Lando crossed the finish line in Miami. By now, it’s been more than 24 hours since it happened, and Ollie was still all hyped about the win. 
“She has been non-stop since yesterday. It was hard to put her to sleep last night, and today hasn’t been much easier”, her grandmother said, approaching the trio and pressing a kiss on top of her daughter’s head. “But it was cute to see her this excited about something. She really is your biggest fan, Lando”.
“Oh, I know it”, he assured. “She’s my lucky charm too”, he brushed the tip of their noses together, feeling happy to be reunited with his little girl.
“No kisses for mummy?”, Y/N complained, and Lando helped Ollie get closer to her mother. The little girl pressed a kiss to her mum’s cheek, but wasn’t really interest on giving me much attention. Her tiny arms quickly wrapped around Lando’s neck as she rested her head on his shoulder. “Fine, he’s the star of the moment, anyway”.
“I’ll take care of her. Try tiring her down”, he said. “Thank you so much for taking care of her, Mrs L/N”.
“Anytime, grand prix champion”, she smiled at Lando, who also earned a big kiss from her as well, making him blush with the gesture. Getting praise for Y/N’s mother, the woman who raised the love of his life, was better than any trophy. “And congratulations on your win. Hope you partied a lot yesterday”.
“We even missed our flight”, Lando laughed, looking back at Y/N, who tried her best to hide the embarrassment she was feeling at the moment. They only got to London so late because, in the heat of the moment, they forgot to set their alarms, waking up only at 1pm, missing not only their flight, but also the hotel’s breakfast and lunch.
“Sorry”, she scrunched her nose at her mother, who laughed at her reaction, shrugging the excuses off, knowing her daughter needed to live a little from time to time. Lando quickly entered the living room, ready to try tiring Olivia down in order for them to go to bed. Y/N’s mother read her daughter's expression and simply knew something had changed. It was the way they were glowing that gave it away.
“Did you finally confess your feelings for him?”, she whispered, being very direct about her question. Y/N’s eyes widened, and her entire face felt like it was on fire. 
“Mum! Oh my God, shut up”, Y/N said, but her mother smiled maliciously, already knowing what that reaction meant.
“Just so you know, I think Lando’s perfect for you. And if something did happen between you, well... you have my full support”.
Y/N’s mother has known for a long time that her daughter is in love with her best friend. And Lando was such a good man for both of her girls. If there was someone she trusted to take care of them, it was him. So, secretly, she has been praying for them to finally admit their feelings for once.
“I’ll catch you up with everything another time. I still have things to figure out”, Y/N assured. “Thank you so much for taking care of Ollie once again. I love you”.
“Love you too, darling. I’ll see you before you head to Italy next week”.
Once they were left alone, Y/N finally entered her house properly, finding Lando sitting in the darkness of her living room, being only lit up by the television light. Olivia was sitting on his lap, her head peacefully resting over his chest as they whispered and talked with each other. He was running his hand through her hair as she told him every detail of her weekend. Then, Y/N noticed what her daughter was wearing: her butterfly pyjama trousers and her McLaren shirt with a big NORRIS 4 printed on the back. What a sight it was to admire.
She leaned against the frame of the living room’s door, silently observing the scene unfold in front of her, trying to go unnoticed by her daughter. Olivia slowly grew tired under Lando’s touch and closed her eyes, falling into deep sleep in the safeness of his hold. Once she was finally convinced the little girl had fallen asleep, Y/N took a seat next to her best friend and cuddle onto his arm too. He pressed a kiss on the crown of her head and relaxed under her touch, feeling finally complete to be reunited with both of his favourite girls.
“She loves you so much”, Y/N also caressed her daughter's hair and admired her tiny carbon copy sleep so peacefully. “She didn’t even care about me, only her favourite uncle and his win”.
“Jealous?”, he joked, making Y/N giggle.
“A little. But I understand her. It’s hard not to love you”, Y/N flirted, making his smile wider. 
“I love you too”, he pressed a single and quick kiss to her lips, before turning his attention back to Olivia. She shifted on his lap, but snored in her sleep, too deep in dreamland to wake up.
“I don’t want to put her to bed”, Lando confessed. “I want to stay with her all night. I missed her so much”.
“She can sleep with us tonight”, Y/N assured, making him smile with the suggestion. He thought back to their night in Australia, when he got to end the day with both of his girls at the same time, and how happy that made him. Getting to experience this again, specially after last night, just hits different.
“Okay, let’s go then. I know we’re both tired from the flight”.
Ollie peacefully slept in her mother’s bed as Lando and Y/N took a quick shower after the flight, wanting to get to bed freshly after washing the tiredness away. They showered together, without any second intention behind it, just to save some time. And it felt so natural and intimate for them, like they had been doing it for years. It’s crazy how things simply work when they are together.
Quickly, they were back into bed, cuddled together with Ollie in the middle. Lando kept running his hands through his goddaughter’s hair, finding it so cute to see how serene she looks when she’s sleeping.  
“The way you look at her…”, Y/N commented, with the biggest smile on her face.
“She’s everything to me”, Lando assured, his eyes never leaving Olivia. “I remember the first time I ever held her in the arms, and she sighed a little in her sleep, reacting to my touch. I felt so happy to have her there with me, after so many months anticipating her arrival. That moment, I vowed that I would do everything in my power to protect and make her happy until the day that I die”.
“You make her the happiest”, Y/N said. “You’re the closest thing to a dad she has ever had in her life. And I’m glad that you are. Because having someone like you, loving her so much like this and making sure she’s happy, protect, safe… She deserves it all and more”.
“I never thought it was fair that Olivia’s father was never even interested in meeting her, because she's the best little girl in the world. And he doesn’t know what he’s missing. She’s the most funny and intelligent kid to ever be born. The entire joy and brightness in the world. If I were him, I would regret missing out on all of this”.
“I think she’s better off without him as well”.
“I think so too, don't get me wrong”, he justified. “It's just… I wanted her to have a happy, complete family, as I do. I vowed to do anything for her because she deserves a mum and dad that loves her with her whole heart. Such a pure and loving kid doesn’t deserve to feel like something is missing”.
“You never made her feel that way”, Y/N reassured Lando, now with her eyes brimming with tears. “She feels so loved and full because of you”.
“No, baby, it’s all because of you”, he smiled, brushing his thumb on Y/N’s cheek. “You did the best job as a mum. I was just here to help out and give her all the love she can get. But you… well, you were the one to raise Ollie, to turn her into the most amazing little girl in the world. I am so proud of you”.
“You’re going to make me cry”, Y/N confessed, already wiping tears from her eyes.
“It’s okay, I’m crying too”, he giggled, his eyes brimming with tears after the words he said. “I love you both, so much. You save me every day”.
“We love you too, Lando”.
Not long after that, he fell into deep sleep, which Y/N noticed because he started with his signature snoring a few minutes later. But she remained wide awake through the whole night, finally having time to process everything that had happened in the past 24 hours. Now looking at Lando, sleeping with his arms draped around Olivia and touching the skin of her arm, she thought life couldn’t get more perfect than that.
Last night in Miami had been everything she wished for. And she was glad it continued the next morning, when they were properly sober, but Lando was still willingly kissing her and showering her with all the love he could give. But what did that mean for them? Were they a couple from now on? 
Y/N fell asleep without an answer. And she didn’t really have an answer for weeks after that, because they didn’t talk about it ever again. Lando still kissed her behind closed doors, and she was even considering maybe asking McLaren to stop booking her a hotel room, because she basically ended up sleeping with him anyway. He continued saying he loved her every moment he could and was now spending more time in her place than his own after the races.
To be fair, she didn’t blame him for the lack of communication between them. After Miami, McLaren skyrocketed into the championship, getting closer and closer to properly fighting Red Bull for the win; yet, Lando still couldn’t take another win. He almost did in Imola, but in Monaco he didn’t even get to step on the podium. Then he got stuck in P2 in Canada and lost his pole position to Verstappen in Spain. The long strike of ‘almosts’ were consuming Lando, and Y/N didn’t want to put their relationship into discussion to make him more stressed. 
The triple header was especially hard for Lando, because all the tension from the season, combined with all the travels, intense routines and different time zones, were making him sick. Their first night in Barcelona, she spent almost completely awake by his coughing through the night. On Sunday, after he lost his pole position to Max Verstappen on the first corner, he started burning in fever, making her change her flight from London to Monaco, where she could take proper care of him before Austria.
It didn’t help at all that he did not finish the race in the Red Bull Ring after another collision with Max. Lando blamed himself too much when things go wrong, and it was taking a toll on him. And that night, Y/N saw something that only happens on very rare occasions, behind closed doors: him crying.
“Oh, baby, don’t be so hard on yourself”, Y/N held his face between her hands and whipped off the tears that were streaming from his eyes. He sobbed a little, feeling a little better to have her there with him. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No, I just want you”, he sobbed, pulling her for a hug. Lando buried his face on her belly and cried under her touch, because he felt protected. With Y/N, he could be vulnerable.
“It could be good for you to talk about it”, she tried, running her hands through his curls. “You can just talk, and I won't reply, if you want”.
“Yeah, that would be cool”, he said. “I don't want you trying to come with excuses of why I'm not a loser”.
“Oh, my love”, she lowered herself to his eye level and cleaned his tears with her thumbs. “Don’t say that”.
“Y/N…”, he started, reminding her of the agreement they made a few seconds ago. She nodded in agreement, pressing a kiss on his cheek, encouraging him to talk.
“I fucking suck”, he complained. “I know McLaren is doing great and that I'm not meeting everyone’s expectations right now. I wasted my pole in Spain and today, I didn't finish the fucking race. And I'm so tired, of all the travelling and being away from home. I miss my mum and dad. I miss my siblings. I miss Olivia more than anything in the world. I just want to go home”.
“We'll be home tomorrow”, she assured him. “And Ollie will be waiting for you so we can go golfing, and your parents are coming to London to spend time with us. Your family will always get your back”.
“I know”, he smiled weakly. “I love you so much. And thank you for just listening. I'm sick and tired of people wanting to have a say in my life”.
“You just needed to vent”, she sat next to him and pulled him into a side hug. “And you know that I'm always here to listen, because I love you more”.
“I think that's impossible, beautiful”, he cracked a genuine giggle, pulling her for a kiss, wanting nothing more than to just feel her for a second. 
“Let's go get things ready to go home”, she tugged his shirt, pulling him out of their bed. “Oscar and the team are waiting for us to fly home”.
Lando wished he was absolutely happy to be back home. But he was exhausted, and the entire week he spent in London, he stayed buried inside home, needing this time to recharge his energies and move onto the next race. His entire family came visiting after Y/N asked them to come in hopes to make him feel better.
It did help. Adam came almost every day for lunch and kept Lando distracted most of the time. But Olivia always kept him occupied, being his biggest fan and dragging him around the house to play with her. Cisca often came as well, and even prepared a special dinner to cheer him up, thinking maybe her son would find comfort in her food.
But no one helped him as much as Olivia did. After school in the morning, she’d spend the entire afternoon at home now that she had someone to look after her. So while Y/N was away working at the MTC, Lando would stay at home having fun with her goddaughter. But even the moments with his favourite little girl weren’t doing much to light up the mood.
One night that week, Y/N was cooking them dinner while Ollie was watching a movie in the living room. Lando arrived frustrated after a quick meeting with the team, shedding some shy tears when he came inside the house. When he found the little girl in the living room, he simply curled into Ollie’s hold and didn’t let go off her for the rest of the night.
She most definitely noticed that her uncle wasn’t his happy and bubbly self. So Olivia found her simple way to make him feel a little better by rolling her tiny fingers through his curls. Lando had been resting his head over her lap and relaxed her touch.
“Why are you so sad, uncle Lan?”, Ollie asked, making him look up at her through his lashes. Lando got a hold on one of her hands and held it gently, rubbing circles on its back. “Is it because of the crash?”
“Yeah”, he admitted, not wanting to explain how bigger this whole thing was to him. It was more than the crash, but Ollie wouldn’t understand that. “But I'll be okay. Just need to be with you and mummy for a second”.
“Don't be sad. Mummy and I love you”, she lowered her head to give him a kiss and it made his heart warm, and he cracked the first big and genuine smile the whole weekend. 
“I love you too. Both of you, baby girl”, he assured, having a quick glance at Y/N, that was under his view on the kitchen. Everything would be okay, as long as they had his girls.
Silverstone came quickly after those few days home. Even though he always loved his home race, along with the energy of the fans, it was stamped on his face how much he needed a break. All Lando could think about was summer break and how much he wanted to make this one special.
Even though he was having probably one of the worst weekends of his life, all he could think about was Y/N. The past few months next to her have been more than amazing, beyond his biggest wishes. She was the only constant in his life lately, and Lando wanted for it to be that way until his last breath. It’s been too long since they got together, and he still didn’t make things official.
Lando didn’t want to make their turning point as a couple something as simple and ordinary as a quick talk during the day. He wanted to make it special, and he has been planning on a way to make it happen for a long time. All Y/N had to do is agree.
“What do you think about spending some time in Spain during the break?”, he asked Y/N, as they were getting ready for the press conference in Silverstone. She was taking care of his curls, as usual, in his driver's room, and arched her eyebrows at his suggestion. “You, me and Olivia. A family holiday”.
“It would be nice”, Y/N smiled. “But remember, my break isn't as long as yours. I still have work to do”.
“But you do have a week off, and we can enjoy that”, he suggested. “I feel like we could all use some recharging somewhere nice and hot. I was thinking Mallorca”.
“Carlos used to say it was a nice summer destination”, she said, running her hands through his curls. “Then you'll go back to Monaco?”
“I was thinking about staying here. Not in your house, if you don't want to, but in England”.
“If you don't stay in my house, I'll be offended”, she joked, making him giggle.
“Then I'll stay right here with you”, he bumped her nose with his finger  and smiled. “Mallorca then. I'll book us a hotel”.
“Perfect”.
Lando had a lot of summer breaks around the world, partying in the best clubs in Europe and having the time of his life with his friends and girls. But nothing ever beat how good it felt to have a time off with his family, watching Ollie playing on the sand while getting tanned next to Y/N on a calm beach, away from mayhem and any cameras that would ruin their privacy.
“Can you put sunscreen on my back?”, Y/N pulled Lando out of his thoughts, extending him the tube of sunscreen. He promptly nodded and stood up, ready to help her.
He gently applied the product on her skin, feeling its warmth on his hands, making him smile. She looked over her shoulder and smiled at him, making him blush under her glance.
“I love you. Have I told you that today?”
“No, not today”, he said, and she leaned to give him a quick peck. “I love you too”.
“Your face is getting red. Let me put some sunscreen on your face”.
Y/N dabbed a few dots of sunscreen on Lando's face and before she could spread it, Olivia rushed to them and jumped over his lap.
“Come play with me, uncle Lan”.
“Let mommy just put some sunscreen on my face, baby”, he said.
“Do you want to do it, love?”, Y/N asked, and Ollie nodded excitedly, using her little fingers to carefully spread the dots on his face. “Good job, Ollie”.
“My girls, always taking such good care of me”, Lando cheered. “I love you so much”.
“I love you, uncle Lan”, Olivia hugged him and pressed lots of kisses on his cheek. “Come play with me”.
“Let's go, my love”.
Lando held Olivia's tiny hand and they walked together towards the shore, where she was building her sandcastle. Y/N stayed behind and took some pictures of them playing together. He helped his goddaughter put sand inside the beach bucket and then decorate it with more sand. Ollie listened carefully to his tips and followed his steps to work together as they giggled with their job. Y/N joined them shortly after, taking some pictures from up close, just to have that moment registered forever.
“Do you like it, momma?”, Olivia asked, pointing to their creation.
“Very much, baby. You did a good job”, Y/N praised, pressing herself on Lando's side and earning a long kiss on her temple. “Can I join you?”
“Always”, Lando said, giving her a shovel to join their work.
Lando and Y/N tired Olivia down to the point where she fell asleep in the longue chair, covered with a towel, as the sun setted on the ocean. The couple sat a little bit further, with their feet dipped inside the water, as they watched the day ending together. She rested her head on his shoulder and he pressed kisses on top of her head, feeling a peace he hasn't felt in a really long time.
"This is the most perfect summer break ever", he admitted. "I don't know why we had never done it before”.
"No, but we did. Remember when we took Ollie to Brighton with your brother?”
"Yeah, but it wasn't a proper vacation, to a nice beach and a nice hotel”, he said. "I'm just glad to be here with you today. It means the world to me”.
"We're glad to be here too. Ollie is having the best time” she kissed his cheek, making him open the biggest smile. "Don't you miss partying in clubs, golfing with your friends and everything?”
"I miss golfing, but not so much partying", he said. "I would rather be here with my family than with people who couldn't care less about me".
Lando took advantage of their alone time, with no kids and no prying eyes, to kiss her. He gently held her chen and pulled her closer, locking their lips together and savouring the softness in her touch in the calmness of the beach. 
"You know, I wow, thinking about the moment we met in the past few days", Lando started, breaking their kiss. “You looked just as lost as me at the MTC, scared to be stepping into unknown waters, just like me. But you cracked a laugh when I made you a joke".
"It made me relax. I was so tense on my first week in McLaren”, she remembered.
"It was so easy for us to become friends. I don't even remember a day I went on without talking to you”, he laughed. "I adored you so much that I never wanted to be away from you. Not for a second at least”.
"Well, the first time I was on track was because you begged Zak to bring me along", she giggled. "Even though I was just the social media kid”.
"I wanted you there for me in Silverstone, because it was pointless to be with my entire family, but not be with my favourite person in the world”. 
“I was your favourite person back then?”
“You've always been”, he smiled brightly. “I think back to all the moments we've shared in the past few years and realize that you have always been the happiest part of them all”.
“Even through rough times?”
“Especially through rough times”, Lando admitted. “You've taken care of me like no one ever did. You taught me how to feel safe, how to be vulnerable. How to feel and show love. You are the most important person in my life, Y/N. You're home, even when I'm far away from home. And you've given me a family that makes me feel so happy”.
“You know I do all of this because I love you”.
“I love you too”, he replied. “And that's why I think we're ready to take the next step, even though we were taking things slow”
Lando promptly got up from his place and went to search for his wallet inside Y/N's purse. He had sneaked a ring inside it earlier, and was now kneeling in front of her, holding the jewellery with a tiny pink rock on top of it.
“A promise ring?”, she chuckled. “I feel like a teenager again”.
“I thought that an engagement ring would be too far gone”, Lando giggled. “But this is a promise that I will love you for eternity. And this is me asking you to be my girlfriend, officially this time. With the cute coupley photos on Instagram, openly holding hands in the paddock and sharing a house, maybe”.
Y/N was speechless with his words, and Lando started to worry when she didn't say anything. He could see the panic on her face.
“You don't want to be my girlfriend?”, he frowned.
“Of course I do, Lando. I want to be your girlfriend more than anything in the world”, she delicately held his face between her hands and sighed. “It's just… I've been thinking a lot about us lately, and I realized that if we're going to give this a try, you have to know that Olivia will always be a part of the equation”.
“What do you mean by that?”
“It means that if you agree to jump into this relationship, I need you to be aware that Ollie will always come as a part of the package”, she said. “I can’t jump into a relationship, make her get attached to a boyfriend of mine, only to have him run away from our lives because he's not ready for the fatherly commitments”.
Lando nodded in understatement, and let her continue talking. “I know you love Olivia, and I have no doubt that you'll always be there for her when she needs it. But you need to understand that she will always come first. And I am not asking you to step into the father position, but I need to know that you're aware of this compromise and that you're okay with it”.
“Of course I'm okay with it. And I am ready for this responsibility”, he said, but Y/N shook her head, opening a sympathetic smile.
“Lan, I want you to think about these words, okay?”, she said. “I want you to reflect how these responsibilities will affect your life if we continue this, alright? And just know that I won't be mad if you decide that this isn't something you can do. I will always love you. But I need to take care of Olivia before anything. I can’t afford to have someone walking out of her life again”.
Lando took a deep breath, trying to assimilate the words she had just said. When it dawned on him, he felt proud of Y/N for putting Olivia before her own happiness. He would've done the same in her position.
“I promise to think about it with my whole heart”, he assured, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Because I love you and I love Ollie, and I want this to work out”.
“I know you will, and I know you do”, she leaned up and pecked his lips, smiling in the process. “You don't need to rush. Let's just continue with the way things are right now”.
And so they did, for the rest of the trip. And then again for the week they spent together in England. While Y/N worked for their return to Formula 1 from summer break, Lando took care of Olivia through her school break. He always planned ways to keep her entertained for the day, took care of her basic needs such as food, and showered her with all the love and attention he could give.
One day, when he had planned a golf day with his friends, Ollie woke up sick and burning in fever. Y/N was ready to call work to take care of her, but Lando cancelled his plans to stay home with his goddaughter.
“I promise to take good care of her while you're away”, he said, pressing a kiss on top of Y/N's head.
“But you were looking forward to this day with Max and the boys”.
“Yeah, but she's more important”, he smiled with the corner of his mouth. “I'll make sure she's okay and call you if it gets worse. Then, if you think it's necessary, we can take her to the hospital at night”.
“Alright”, she sighed. “Thank you so much. I promise to try being as quick as possible at work”.
“Don’t worry about it. She's in good hands”, Lando assured, taking a hold on her hand, making sure she was comforted enough to leave her daughter with him. She opened a small and sad smile, squeezing his hand twice before getting back to dressing up for work.
“I know she is”, she said, entering her bedroom, where Olivia was lying under the covers, concentrated on her favourite cartoon. Lando slipped into the blankets and enveloped her in a comforting hug. Ollie sighed as she rested her head on his belly and closed her fingers on his shirt, locking him closer to her.
Out the corner of her eyes, Y/N watched Lando run her hands through her daughter’s hair, who quickly fell asleep under his touch, as she changed her clothes to work. She quickly did a light makeup to leave the house and gathered everything she needed to drive to the MTC for the day. Then, once she was done, she sat next to Lando in bed, and he softly smiled at her.
“You’re making me want to still call-off work and stay cuddled with you all day”, she giggled. “But unfortunately, your image is a lotta work. So I have a few meetings to discuss your next media duties”
“Be kind to me and don’t get me in any boring media duties”, he asked. “And we’ll be here for when you get back. Now, kiss kiss, mama”.
Lando pouted, making Y/N giggle before kissing him gently on the lips. She finally relaxed under his touch, feeling like things were finally under control this morning. Of course, seeing Olivia ill always made her heart ache, but he would take good care of her.
Just the fact that he decided to sacrifice his entertainment, a day with his friends, made Y/N see him under different eyes. Maybe he really was thinking about what they talked about in Mallorca. And maybe he was already seeing the responsibilities that have talked about and was taking them.
Olivia always comes first.
“I’m taking the McLaren, by the way”, she winked at him as she exited the room, carrying her big Louis Vuitton bag, that had been a gift from her last year’s birthday from him, to which had already become a signature for busy work days. It would look perfect with his McLaren Artura, parked on the garage.
“Suit yourself. Just be careful or Zak will kill us both”, he asked, watching her walk away to get her day started.
Lando made sure to always have an eye on Olivia through the entire day. He kept her hydrated and fed as he checked on her temperature occasionally. Also, he showered her with all the love he could give, because with how little active she has been all day, it broke her heart to see her so bad. And by the time Y/N arrived home, Ollie’s fever was long gone and she was already feeling better.
“Thank you so much for taking care of her. It means a lot to me that you did”, Y/N’s lips curved into a small smile as she ran her fingers through his curls. 
“I’ll always be here for her. You know that”, he assured. “Now that she’s passed out in bed, I bought us dinner. Italian take out, your favourite. And made sure to get you some wine, because it must’ve been a stressful day”.
“Tell me about it”, Y/N laughed. “I actually save your ass from a very boring interview with a magazine. So you have a lot to thank me for”.
“My hero”, he wrapped his arms around her and guided her to the kitchen, where he served her with a good glass of wine. Then he served their food and they got to share their meal together.
“How was your day?”, she asked and he shrugged.
“It was alright. Definitely would much rather have played around the house with Ollie for the entire day. It hurts so much to see her so powerless. But I gave everything in me to make sure she was alright”, he said. 
“I don’t have words to thank you for today”.
“You don’t have to thank me for anything”, he assured. “I was thinking about what we’ve talked in Mallorca, about the commitment and having your entire life change for a kid. And I think I’m ready for this, you know? Today I understood when you said that Ollie comes first, and that she’s a priority”.
“Are you sure, Lan? You don’t actually have to decide now”.
“But I’m decided”, he prompted. “I love her so much, Y/N. And I want to be there for her every day. I know I’ve always been here somehow, but I’m ready to be her father, if you want me to. I don’t want to step too far into your lives, but I want to be in this position. I think I’ve always wanted to, actually”.
Y/N dropped her glass of wine and got up from the table, jumping into his arms and giving him the biggest kiss. Lando smiled between the kiss and deepened it just a few seconds later, pulling her into his lap and living that moment at its fullest.
“I love you so much”, she said, her eyes brimming with tears. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, and everything I ever wished for me and Ollie”.
“I love you too”, he replied. “And our family is the most important thing in my life. I’ll make sure you both always feel loved and protected under any cost”.
Later that night, when both of them went to bed, Y/N knew that things would finally be different for them. They wouldn’t have to hide this relationship from anyone, and they could finally be able to live their love freely. She couldn’t wait to shout to the world that Lando Norris was the love of her life, and that they were bound to be together forever.
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⋘ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 // 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ⋙
𝒔𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝒎𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒂 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏 . 𝐚𝐝𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
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f1byjessie · 7 months ago
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HE LIKES MY AMERICAN SMILE ━━ OP81. [REWRITE]
he may not be a london boy, but you love him all the same, and you’re about to learn the hard way that loving someone can be a wild ride.
( oscar piastri x sargeant!reader )
━━ part one.
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INSTAGRAM.
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yourusername me and london boy have made so many memories here together and i’ll cherish them forever ❤️. i love this sport and i love the people i've met in this sport. i'll always love it and them, but sometimes you have to take a step back and set your sights on new horizons. that said, neither of us will be competing in any events this year— endurance or otherwise. london boy will stay in richmond and continue to receive the best care possible from people who have grown to love him as much as i do, and in the meantime, i'll start looking to those other horizons.
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user wishing you the best of luck!! we’ll miss seeing you and london boy, but we know this decision wasn’t made lightly and we hope whatever you do will make you just as happy as riding does!!
user london boy lives a more luxurious life than i could ever hope 
↳ user real like why am i jealous of a horse 😭😭
↳ user knowing how well these horses are treated? we should all be jealous
↳ user some of these horses have rain coats that cost more than my entire wardrobe combined… the day i learned that was not a fun day… 😔
user honestly only ever tuned in to watch you both
user the events won’t be the same without you!!!
user I’LL MISS YOU LONDON BOY
user take all the time you need to explore other options! you can love something and still get burnt out on it. sometimes taking that step away can be the decision that allows us to continue loving something instead of growing resentful towards it. do what you need to do to be happy! 🫶
↳ user this is such a good way to put it!!
↳ user THIS. i did competitive jumping for ten years and towards the end of that time i started seeing it more as a chore than the sport i used to be so passionate about. you absolutely CAN love something and still get burnt out on it. taking breaks is so important.
user i’m sure london boy will miss you but you do you girliepop! take a trip or go on an adventure!
user oh to be a girl riding her horse across the beach at sunrise 🥲
↳ user IKR?!? talk about dream life, she’s literally living out scenes that i’ve only ever seen in movies
↳ user it’s london boy’s world and we’re all just living in it
user wait does this mean no more horse content???
↳ user i mean she’s not getting rid of her horse or even outright retiring, she just won’t be riding competitively for 2023
user is she leaving the uk or smth?? bc she said other ppl will be looking after london boy?? i know nothing about horses guys i’m sorry
↳ user london boy will be staying at the stables as per her caption! he will be looked after by many trained professionals who will ensure he is properly fed, watered, exercised, and groomed each day! it’s actually very common for people to board their horses at a stable since horses often need large fields to graze and exercise in, and not a lot of people have big enough backyards or own property to be able to provide that themselves. whether she’s leaving the uk or not, we don’t know, but it definitely sounds like her training with london boy will be put on hold for the time being!
user miss girl we’ll always remember you and london boy as the greatest duo in endurance racing history
↳ user REAL REAL REAL
user does this have to do with her falling off a few months back??
↳ user it could, she did mention the encounter leaving her pretty shaken
↳ user yeah but the possibility of something like this happening is so high that a lot of riders have accepted it as an inevitable occurrence in their career
↳ user even still, that doesn’t change the fact that she could very well be traumatized or experiencing lingering side effects
↳ user guys!! speculation will do us no good!! if she wants to tell us, she will!!
user YOU KNOW I LOVE A LONDON BOY 🗣🗣🗣
logansargeant wanna trade one paddock for another?
There’s a sort of terrifying uncertainty that comes with breaking a long-standing routine.
It’s like a fucked-up sort of package deal— you stop following the methodized schedule you’ve meticulously upheld for years, and in exchange, you receive more time than you know what to do with and an overwhelming responsibility to fill it.
The only question is: with what?
The muscle memory lingers, and you suspect that it’ll take some time for your body to un-familiarize itself with a sleep schedule that you’ve religiously held on to for years, but there’s no demands to maintain any of it and that makes any sort of attempt at continuing to run through the motions feel entirely obsolete. You may instinctively wake up at the ass crack of dawn, but without the necessity of a horse relying on your punctuality to get him fed, watered, and turned out to the paddock, there’s nothing you can do beyond filling the morning with something until your internal clock catches the memo and decides to let you sleep in for once.
“You know, when I invited you to tag along with me,” Logan begins in lieu of a greeting when he opens the front door and sees you standing on the stoep of his apartment, clad in athletic wear and a pair of well-worn running shoes, “I was under the impression that we both understood that to mean the traveling to races part and not necessarily the pre-season training.”
“‘My dearest sister,’” you sarcastically quip back in a mockingly deep voice, feigning heartfelt sincerity and pressing your hand melodramatically to your chest. “‘How good it is to see you after so long! I would be absolutely delighted if you joined me on my morning run today.’”
Your twin brother shakes his head in exasperation, but through the facade of annoyance, you can recognize the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
“Honestly, Logie,” You pretend to wipe a tear from the corner of your eye and add in a sniffle for extra flair, “you're too sweet. What would I ever do without you?”
“We saw each other a week ago at brunch,” he grumbles, reluctantly taking a step back from the door and allowing you to pass over the threshold into the warmth of the apartment and out of the winter’s frigid morning air.
“When?”
“Last Wednesday—”
“—did I ask? Oh! Boom! Gotcha!” You whoop out an exclamation of victory as you continue down the hall. “Gosh, I am four for four now. You gotta step up your game, Logie-bear, or this is gonna end in a miserable shut out for you.”
He heaves out a heavy sigh that carries with it twenty-two years of suppressed brotherly rage and the exhaustion that can only come from being reminded at every chance that he is, and always will be, a minute younger than you. “You're the bane of my existence, and I do sincerely hope you know this.”
“Aw, I love you too!”
You step into the small kitchen at the end of the hall. With the exception of a little potted cactus sitting on the windowsill— a housewarming gift from you— it looks nearly identical to how it was the last time you visited.
A month ago.
When he moved in.
There's a woven mat on the floor in front of the sink, an ashy green that contrasts nicely with the off-white cream color of the cabinets and laminate countertops. You can't really tell if Logan actually bought the mat, or if it came with the place, but it's cute nonetheless and serves as one of the few pops of color in the otherwise monochromatically beige apartment.
“I see that my cactus continues to reign supreme as the only individuality in this place,” you comment, glancing over your shoulder in time to see him appear in the doorway.
He shrugs at your words. “Yeah, well, you'd be surprised how busy you can get when you're preparing for everything you've ever dreamed about. No biggie.”
“Logan,” you turn to face him, “you'll do great. There are two other rookies on the grid—”
“And I'll be in the worst car out of all of them.”
“You don't know that,” you chide gently.
This side of Logan isn't unfamiliar to you— the anxiety and fear of failure. It's always existed, and you've known about it since the morning of his first kart race when he confided in you that he was so nervous he felt like he was going to be sick.
The insecurities surrounding his own skills have persisted and thrived with every new track, every new team, and every new series, and as you've grown alongside him you've found ways to challenge his self-doubt, but you've also learned to accept that there's only so much you alone can do.
You can debate it and challenge the self-deprecating thoughts all you want, but the voice in his head will always be there, no matter how quiet it occasionally becomes.
So you choose to drop the topic for now.
It's too early in the morning for an impromptu therapy session anyway.
You turn back around and scan the countertops until your eyes latch onto the container of pre-workout tucked away in the corner, nearly hidden amidst the mountain of vitamin and nutrient supplements.
“I thought it was part of Benny’s job to make sure you didn't have to use all this shit,” you comment, picking through the jars and eyeing them each with unapologetic distaste.
Logan reaches over your shoulder and plucks a packet of vitamin C tablets from your hand, “Sometimes these just work better.”
“Yeah, maybe if you don’t have a nutritionist being paid to quite literally curate a diet specifically to ensure that you don’t need to use these,” you gesture widely to the assembled mass of supplements. “But, last I checked, dear brother of mine, you do have a nutritionist— and a very good one at that— who would be horrified to learn you’re substituting real fruit for…” you squint down at the nutritional label of another one of the jars, but there’s very little that you recognize amidst the scientific jargon and long, five-syllable words, “little gummies that taste like fruit.”
He huffs, “Get your pre-workout or I'm leaving without you.”
“You wouldn't dare leave without me,” you grumble.
“I've done it before and I'll do it again,” he snipes, giving a brief yank on your ponytail and cackling when you swat behind yourself in futility.
There’s more he isn’t saying— there always is, nowadays— but you recognize the deflection for what it is. You want to claw him apart with questions and demand answers that bare every inch of his soul so you understand what he isn’t telling you and why he feels the need to keep it locked away even from you, but you know better than to keep pushing at something Logan clearly doesn’t want to talk about.
It makes you nostalgic for a time in your life when he’d sneak down from the top of the bunk bed after your parents had tucked you away for the night and slip under the covers with you, a well-loved stuffed bear hugged to his chest. He’d curl up beside you and you’d pull the blankets up to your chin and watch him with big, curious eyes until he’d whisper out into the darkness of your shared bedroom what he was worrying about.
More often than not it was a byproduct of a hyperactive imagination still plagued by the fears of childhood. Something about the space beneath your bed and— “What if there’s something down there? And the only way you can see it is by its glowing eyes? But what if it knows when someone is gonna look under the bed, so it closes its eyes so you can’t see the glow?” Or the curtains and— “You have to make sure they cover the whole window because what if you don’t and then something looks inside and it knows I’m not asleep and then it comes inside? I always hold really still and pretend to be asleep even when I’m not if the curtains aren’t closed.”
But sometimes it was about anything and everything else like the fox sitting in the bushes by the bus stop on the way home from school and whether or not it had water to keep it cool in the Florida heat, or the purple glitter pen Mrs. Moore used to grade his spelling test and how the girl sitting next to him had gotten her test graded with the green glitter pen, or— “I forgot my coat in Mr. Garrison’s class yesterday, and you went and got it for me and brought it to the car with you, and I didn’t say thank you, but I always feel bad when I leave my coat behind because what if it has feelings and felt really bad because it thought I was abandoning it, so thank you for getting my coat so it didn’t feel abandoned.”
But that was then and this is now.
You’re both adults, and you live in different apartments on different ends of the city, and you work different jobs that separate you by half the globe at times. There’s no more talk of foxes by bus stops or glitter pens, and certainly no more sentient coats with fears of abandonment.
When you look at Logan now, he isn’t wasting away, and really you owe it to him after you announced out of the blue a week ago that you weren’t just taking a break from competitive riding, but rather taking a break from riding as a whole. He didn’t press you on it then— still hasn’t pressed you on it despite having every right to do so. The least you can do now in return is respect the boundary he’s trying to set.
You mutter a few curses beneath your breath— words your mother would throw a fit over if she could hear you— and feign a scowl, but some of the tension in Logan’s shoulders has released and that's all you can ask for.
“If you leave me behind, I’ll leak a picture of your pathetic kitchen to the tabloids and let everyone tear apart your design choices,” you threaten, digging your knuckles into the tender spot of his arm where bicep meets shoulder and taking pride when he squirms away and beyond reach.
He flips you off. “You’re just jealous I have a cool cactus and you don’t.”
“Hey!” You give a lazy kick in his direction, but he sidesteps it easily with a laugh. “I gave you that cactus!”
“Tomato, tom-ah-to.” He flippantly waves his hand in your direction, laughing again at the indignant squawk you make. “Just hurry up and make your damn drink.”
As he makes his way out of the kitchen, presumably to grab his shoes, you unscrew the lid from the container and reach for the scoop.
Only to find it entirely empty.
“You asshole! There's nothing in here!”
Logan’s cackle echoes from another room.
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yourusername day 14 without london boy and i have officially succumbed to the boredom and willingly subjected myself to the presence of my arch nemesis (love you logie 🫶)
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logansargeant in my defense, you just showed up
user you could not PAY me to go out in this weather
user as a florida girlie myself, this is my nightmare
↳ user REAL
↳ user genuinely seeing this makes me so glad i live in a place where there’s no snow cuz yea, the view is pretty and all, but not even a gorgeous sunrise would make up for me freezing my ass off and having to wear seven layers just to keep the feeling in my fingers and toes
user i wish the most stressful part of my day was going for a morning run 😔
user calling logan her nemesis is so real i just know that man is a menace
↳ user the f2 clips of him and liam are proof enough
↳ user logan sargeant was a menace back in f3 💀 have you SEEN the prema videos with oscar and fred? bro is diabolical when he wants to be
↳ user i'm so excited for the chaos he'll bring to the grid this year
user the snow man is so cute!!
user “14 days without london boy” OH I AM ILL 😭😭😭
user ok but that view is gorgeousness
↳ user ikr?! winter sunrises are genuinely so pretty
user i’m still so confused as to why she isn’t riding anymore?? can someone pls explain
↳ user to be entirely honest, i’m not sure really what there is to explain. first and foremost, we aren’t owed any sort of explanation as to why she’s decided to take a step back from riding. it could be a personal decision, a career decision, or something else, but whatever it is we aren’t automatically entitled to it just because y/n has previously been very open and vocal about her and london boy’s training. second, she never actually said that she isn’t riding anymore. she said she’s taking a step back from competitive riding to focus on other things, and the “without london boy” part of her caption implies that she hasn’t seen him, but she could just be taking a prolonged break, or she could be focusing on something else that has prevented her from going to see him. but again, none of it is our business and she doesn’t owe us any further explanation to what she meant.
↳ user THIS THIS THIS!! as sad as i am to not have london boy on my feed, y/n is a grown adult with her own private life and we have to respect her decisions!! if or when she chooses to come forward about the specifics of her future plans and goals, then that’s great and i’ll continue to support her endeavors, but for the time being we all just have to be patient
user the selfie logan posted with you on his story was so cute!! 🥰
user she’s a runner she’s a track star
user i’ve missed the twin content!
↳ user me too!! i really hope that her taking a break from competitions (as much as i love london boy) will mean we get to see her actually going to more of logan’s races, especially now that he’ll be in formula 1!!
oscarpiastri if the rumours are to be believed, i look forward to getting to catch up at the races this year
━━ tags: @urfavnoirette @casperlikej @awritingtree @f1-is-lovely-33 @chasing-liberosis @405rry @aquangxl @bellezaycafe @peqch-pie @formulaal @chonkybonky @mess-is-my-aesthetic @flippingmyshit @peachiicherries @spacegirlstuff @myxticmoon @landosgirlxoxo @k-pevensie28 @moonypixel @lewisvinga @81vas @maih23 @thatoneembarrasingmoment @elz-xo @the-navistar-carol
━━ a/n: surprise! i've been working on this for a little while now (i got my wisdom teeth removed yesterday, so the time i've spent recovering has been spent polishing up the last few details for this first part) but here she is! as promised, the newly rewritten and revamped 'he likes my american smile'! i feel like i always say it, but the original genuinely holds such a special place in my heart because it was the first work i ever posted here on tumblr, so i'm really happy to take all that i've learned since then and apply it where i can in this new version. i really hope the changes and development is as loved by you all as it is by me, and that you all enjoy!
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scribblesofagoonerr · 10 months ago
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— Like Mother, Like Daughter
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After that angst, here's something less angsty...
Let me know what you think about this one! Do you guys prefer fluff or angst?
Pairings: katie mccabe x child reader Warnings: a child being a menace to soceity
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You were your mam's mini-me in every sense of the world, from your brunette hair to your own determined demeanor, you were the exact replica of your mammy, and even at a young age, just like Katie, you had a fierce spirit that couldn't be contained.
It was a sunny afternoon in London for a change and deciding to make the most of it, your mam and you decided to take a trip down to the local park to try and burn some of your energy off before it was time to settle down for the night.
Arriving at the park, you were quite happy to join in with the other kids' a bit older than you as you raced around with them, being indepenant that Katie was able to just keep a watchful eye on you from the nearby park bench.
However, it wasn't all too long before trouble approached, when a kid just that bit older than you were, started to make rude comments about you that you just weren't going to stand for.
Without missing a beat, you stepped forward with your tiny fists clenched at your side, "You take dat' back!" you demanded, your voice filled with righteous indignation.
The kid kept on goeding you and before Katie could step in and intervene, you had already launched yourself at them, your punch landing with surprising accuracy for someone so small.
"Y/N!" Katie gasped in shock, rushing towards you to scoop you up into her arms and pull you away from the situation.
"Let me ave' him, mammy!" Your small voice demanded, pounding your tiny fists on your mams' back as you weren't ready to back down just yet, "I can fight him, mammy. I can ake' him!" You insisted.
"No, no, kiddo. We don't hit other people" Katie chided, trying to stifle her own amusement and remembering the fact that she was a responsible parent in this moment, "You need to apologise and say sorry now, please" she motioned to the kid, who was just that bit older than you.
"M' not sorry, he made fun of my accent" You whined pitifully, you never liked it when people made fun out of you, but you were strong enough to hold your ground, "Ou' always told me to stick up for myself, mammy!" you insisted.
It was moments' like this when Katie was in sudden realisation that she couldn't very well tell you off when she was known to get into a few scraps herself on the pitch and you'd been witness to some of them.
After profuseley apologising to the little lad and his mum who wasn't best pleased about it, the two of you left the park in silence.
"I beat him! I beat him!" You boasted happily, running through the front door as you burst into a fit of giggles.
Katie shook her head in amusement, she knew she should discorauge the behaviour but she also couldn't help but feel a sense of pride, "You did, kiddo" she chuckled, "You definitely your ma's girl, eh? Like mother, like daughter" she joked.
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© scribblesofagoonerr
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threeacttragedy · 2 months ago
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Entry 14 – The One Where They Call It Chaotic but We Call it Predictable
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Yes, I am fully aware my entries have been sparse of late, and, no, I am not planning to stop my general Lukola ramblings any time soon. In fact, once I run out of material, I’ll probably dabble with fan fiction because, meh, why the hell not? Any ways, the reason for my slight absence is that I’ve had a special guest staying at my house – one by the name of “Dad.” Yes, that dapper gentleman has been roosting on my porch for the past few weeks (because that’s the only place I allow him to smoke), drinking an ungodly amount of Coca-Cola and holding my shih tzu like she’s a human baby. He did pry himself away long enough to be my date to see “Wicked” (he loved it, by the way). Oh, and he was obliged to my incessant babblings about Lukola. In fact, he even opened my mind to a few theories of his own and made me laugh hysterically at his reaction to the Jakolas.
It has always been my intention to delve into a certain section of our timeline – the part where Luke seemingly ran off into the Summertime Sunset with his friend group, which included Antonia. That period in time is the cavity of my Lukola table puzzle. The left side isn’t connecting to the right side because there’s this gaping hole in the center called Hot Boy Fucking Summer! Before June 12, things made sense to me. Even with the muck we find ourselves in now, just about everything after July 30 has made sense to me. So, of course, Hot Boy Summer was a topic of discussion with my dad. Actually, it was an “all afternoon” one.
I originally presented the Before, During, and After of Hot Boy Summer in chronological order to my dad only to get blasted with, “Stop doing that shit!” after I mentioned “Bless the Telephone.” His gripe was that – like the Claddagh ring – I had failed to disclose to him information that may alter his opinion about the event for which we were theorizing. Specifically, if I knew that the Claddagh ring preceded June 12 and I knew Nicola’s aptly named “Chaos Week” followed July 30, then disclosing those details to him before asking him to theorize about what happened in between those two dates (i.e., Hot Boy Summer) was necessary and even critical to his final opinion.
I don’t believe there is much explaining to do on the front-end of Hot Boy Summer – at least not to my well-versed Lukolas. We presumably all watched the same World Tour (including that trip over to Galway so Luke could meet Nicola’s mother) and I’ve already discussed the Claddagh ring in Entry 6 of my blog. That leaves us with the tail-end of Luke’s summertime jaunt, which steers us into Chaos Week. For those of you who thought I was going to discuss Hot Boy Summer in this entry, I’m sorry – this one is dedicated to that erratic period of Nicola blowing her war horn, beckoning all Lukolas within a worldwide radius of London to commence at her feet. And, commence we did!
Have you ever heard of “chaos theory?” Broadly speaking, it’s the idea that small changes can result in major changes over time – like cause and effect. That’s kind of how I’ve looked back at Chaos Week. We’d spent most of the summer on one bummer of a vacation, with Luke and Nicola (presumably) spending time apart from one another. Sure, we’d had few fireworks explode here and there with pap pictures, and we saw JVN enter the ring as the fan favorite best friend but, on the surface, Hot Boy Summer was, well, rather static. It had carried on with a monotonous “blip…blip…blip…” until suddenly our radar detected a quiet but distinct “blip-blip,” which didn’t register in any of our minds until we had a torpedo coming straight for us!
I don’t believe we can attribute Chaos Week solely to Nicola. Yes, yes, I know, Nicola’s online presence in early to mid-August was chaotic, hence the name “Chaos Week.” But, I do not believe Nicola started Chaos Week. She sure as shit drove it home but, in my opinion, it wasn’t her actions that set everything in motion. Nicola wasn’t the “blip-blip;” she was the torpedo.
So, what was the “blip-blip?”
Luke returning to London – alone – on August 2, of course.
The friend group, which had included Antonia, was nowhere in sight.
Hot Boy Summer had come to an end (I imagine this to be the reason Nicola started blowing her war horn).
In my opinion, Luke’s return set everything else into motion. He was that second pendulum that caused the first one to spiral out of control.
But, we ate that shit up, didn’t we? Yeah, we sure did, and we loved every day of Chaos Week. What’s funny to me is that everyone remembers bits and pieces of Chaos Week, but they never seem to get it in the right order (how chaotic, right?). This happened, then that happened. No, no, that happened first. No, this happened first. The only way to really look at Chaos Week is to give order to the disorder. And, we’re going to do that via a very generic captain’s log, so…
Welcome aboard!
Mission: Chaos Week
Origin: Somewhere in Mayfair.
Destination: Happily Ever After.
Time of Departure: Fuck, I don’t know. When did you board this ship?
Expected Time of Arrival: Hopefully before we all wither up and die.
Log Entries:
August 2. Luke returned to London alone. Yeah, yeah, I know, I already told you that, but I had to add this:
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August 4. Nicola decided to wake us all up from our somber summer with a plate of French toast. Umm, okay, that’s fucking random. I’m going back to bed – but wait, didn’t Luke say brunch was his “fav meal of the day?” Yeah, I swear I have that polaroid around here somewhere.
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August 7. Luke – after being absent on social media for what seemed like a lifetime – suddenly popped into his Instagram stories to post some delightfully cute Bridgerton Bloopers. The entire fandom rejoiced at Luke’s return to social media! And, let’s be honest, we only cared about the bloopers with Luke and Nicola. Hmm, Luke always has this intriguing, yet subtle way of surprising us. Did you hear that?
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August 7. Shortly after Luke posted his Bridgerton Bloopers, Nicola swooped in and dropped a very loud Wordle anvil on her Instagram stories. <clang!> Was she clocking people for making fake social media accounts using her name? Did she really solve the Wordle in two? Actually, most of us ignored that part of the post entirely and went straight to Mr. Google to ask, “What does ‘anvil’ mean? Okay, how about in the Urban Dictionary?” You know you did, too! In all seriousness, though, when this first dropped, I considered whether she was directing the “anvil” at Luke. After all, let’s face it, Nicola was the one who promoted Bridgerton post-Papsmear while Luke disappeared from the limelight. It’s only natural that she might be a bit peeved at him suddenly promoting Bridgerton. However, in hindsight, I believe this to be nothing more than Nicola calling out the person making fake social media accounts under her name. During this time, there seemed to be an influx of fake social media accounts using Nicola and Luke’s names (Luke would address this same topic on his Instagram stories on August 24). And, as fun as it would be to theorize that the “anvil” was directed at someone (other than Luke, of course), it was, in fact, the Wordle for August 6. That said, I do believe that “Wordle” has become synonymous with “Luke” at this point. So, I’ll give you that.
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August 8. JVN reposted their “[w]hen you catch someone trying to sneak a pic but you were born for these moments” to his Instagram grid. Did you think JVN wasn’t going to be included in Chaos Week?! They produced some of their best shit during this time! Any ways, Nicola liked this grid post, which confirmed my belief that Antonia played some part in the Italy pap pictures (for a full explanation on this, read “Entry 11 – The One About the Heart of the Ocean”). Thanks for the recap, JVN, although most Lukolas probably didn’t need to a reminder as to why they disliked Antonia.
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August 9. Nicola posted the Scrabble board to her Instagram stories. Whoa, hold up, Jakolas! Yeah, we know Jake played Scrabble with Nicola and – guess what – we Lukolas don’t care. I mean, I’ll even throw the Jakolas a small scrap of meat and say that Jake could (emphasis on could) have helpedNicola with the Scrabble board. Why am I being so charitable? Because that just makes me more confident Jake has always supported Lukola. You will not convince me (or probably any Lukola) that this Scrabble board was directed at anyone else but Antonia. In my opinion, there are only two things in this picture that matter – the central word “HEYA,” or “HEY A,” and the Guinness coaster. In fact, if I had been playing on the opposite side of this Scrabble board, I would have challenged this word. That alone says exactly what it needs to say. This is not to dissuade you from theorizing on every other word on that board, though. I’m simply saying I do not need any other evidence to persuade myself into believing the board was directed at Antonia. Now, if you want to take the two corner words and speculate that Nicola was having “SEX” with “DAD,” go right ahead – I won’t argue with you.
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August 10. Nicola posted to her Instagram grid the now-deleted birthday greeting to her friend, Camilla. The caption read, “…Remember the time paparazzi took a picture of us and to protect me you grabbed my face?” If that’s not an indirect jab at Luke’s friend group, I’m not sure what it is because it sure as hell doesn’t scream, “Happy Birthday,” to me.
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August 11. Nicola decided to get out her blow torch and light every beacon fire she could find starting in Bowral and ending in London by posting the “Drink Your Milk” shirt to her Instagram stories. You could practically hear her rallying every last Lukola still standing: “Rise, Lukolas, rise!” In fact, I think some even rose from the dead that day! What was the crisis? Well, only that the “Drink Your Milk” shirt was exactly like the one Luke was seen wearing on or about June 22. Now, now, this was a charity promoted by Jonathan Bailey so it’s entirely possible Nicola was gifted her own shirt. But, guess what? The Lukolas didn’t give a shit! They deep dived into reflections on sunglasses and creases in t-shirt sleeves! And, no, I’m not speculating on that hot mess (if you’re interested in learning more, I promise you there’s plenty of TikToks for that). In truth, it never mattered to me whether the shirt belonged to Luke or not. What mattered was the perception that it was Luke’s shirt. It blew up the Internet and I would stand by my belief that, if the fandom’s perception of something was detrimentally incorrect, Nicola (or Luke) would have corrected it. Nicola did not correct this. And, no, Jakolas, don’t even talk to me about that scrap of green blanket in that picture. I don’t care if Jake played Scrabble with (presumably) Nicola at some point over the summer while sitting outside on a goddamn green blanket. The “Drink Your Milk” post was not a secret coded message to Jake. I would stand on a hill and argue that all afternoon. Why? Because – again – Nicola did not correct the “Luke’s shirt” narrative. She let the fandom run with it. In fact, we all got our own blow torches that day. Mine’s turquoise and engraved with my initials.
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August 12. JVN posted a “Special announcement” to their Instagram grid. Right about now, you might be, like, “What the fuck does this have to do with Chaos Week?” I told you, JVN has this way of slipping shit into to their posts that make you do a double take – usually a day later while you’re daydreaming during your drive to the office. This was one of those posts. The announcement was: “I’ve been waiting for this announcement until after the Paris Olympics had finished, as to not take away from the incredible success of USA Gymnastics…@teamusa has been following my journey and growth as a gymnast and showed up at my house to personally invite me to train to be a potential member of their 2028 team. While I hate taking a slot away from 2028 potentials like @simonebiles & @stephen_nedoroscik (as it appears quite obvious I’ll make whichever team I attempt to)…” What made this post stick out is that it is, in fact, bullshit. As in, it is a completely made-up story. Team USA did not visit JVN at their house; they’re not joining the USA gymnastics team. It’s not even that funny, to be honest. So, what was the point of it? It’s confusing as fuck when you read it at face value; however, when you drop it into the Lukola timeline, I’m convinced it alludes to something bigger. On August 11, we had Nicola posting the “Drink Your Milk” shirt – which sent the fandom into believing Nicola was wearing Luke’s shirt and that Luke’s reflection was in her sunglasses. On August 13, the day after this post, a torpedo was launched at us (warning, warning, anyone got a phone I can use?). When you look at this post as the middle piece connecting Nicola’s August 11 and August 13 posts, I believe it tells a story. Let me rewrite it for you but imagine it now coming from Nicola’s perspective: “I’ve been waiting for this announcement until after the Paris Olympics Hot Boy Summer had finished, as to not take away from the incredible success of USA Gymnastics Luke’s friend group, which included Antonia…Luke @teamusa has been following my journey and growth as a gymnast and showed up at my house to personally invite me to train to be a potential member of their 2028 team [choose your own adventure on this one]. While I hate taking a slot away from 2028 potentials like @simonebiles Antonia & @stephen_nedoroscik Rory (as it appears quite obvious I’ll make whichever team [“girlfriend” or best friend] I attempt to)…” Huh, at the very least, this post is starting to get the side-eye from you, isn’t it?
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August 13. Oh, my God! My hair is on fucking fire!!! Nicola dumped “Bless the [Goddamn] Telephone” on her Instagram stories. Whose voice is nice to hear again? What is she trying to say?! Maybe nothing. No, it’s something. “It’s nice, the way you say my name; not very fast or slow, just soft and low; the same as when you tell me how you feel; I feel the same way, too; I’m very much in love with you. I’m very much in love with you.” I don’t need to elaborate any further on this post. It speaks for itself. Chaos Week had officially launched its massive torpedo (full of firecrackers and pinata candy) and the entire Lukola fandom was hysterical – in the best way possible. However, I will interrupt this happy moment with – Jakolas, please don’t start trying to link this song to Jake because Jack Rooke used it in an episode of “Big Boys.” Yes, we are aware Jake played a minor role in that show as a love interest to the main character, Jack. Again, Nicola did not shut down the fandom’s perception that the song was for Luke. Sorry, not sorry, Jakolas. If any part of Chaos Week was for Jake, I believe Nicola would have shut the entire thing down after realizing the fandom was associating everything with Luke.
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August 15. After giving the fandom 48 hours to process “Bless the Telephone,” Nicola posted to her Instagram grid, “Very demure, very mindful.” In my opinion, Nicola was acknowledging that her recent posts (ahem, “Bless the Telephone”) were intentional, and she was aware of how they were being taken by the fandom (ahem, that they were for Luke).
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August 15. JVN posted to their TikTok account “Slick Back Bun.” Hands down a fan favorite moment with JVN. “Sometimes I just need a very demure slick back bun…I don’t do my slick back bun like all the other girls. Here I’ll show you how to do it…I’m just going to take the hair and twist it around itself, so I just have a little cinnamon roll bun…” Do I need to elaborate on this one? Seriously, do I? Slick back bun – Antonia – yeah, okay, got it, we’re still going knives out on Antonia. If you haven’t watched this, it is still on JVN’s TikTok and Instagram grid. It was clever how “demure” JVN and Nicola were being that day.
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August 16. Nicola posted another song to her Instagram stories. This time it was Clairo’s “Juna.” It was not just a sweet, romantic song; it was full on sexy. “You make me wanna try on feminine; you make me wanna go buy a new dress; you make me wanna slip off a new dress…With you, there’s no pretending.” Alright, alright, enough! Wait – no, no – come back! I didn’t mean it! Please, please bring back your music to Instagram, Nicola!
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At this point, in my opinion, Chaos Week ended; however, I’m going to reference one more log entry mainly because, if I don’t, it will get overlooked in the small gap between Chaos Week and when the Jakolas enter the picture on August 25 (see “Entry 8 – The One About the Adjacent of Convenience” for that side show).
August 22. Nicola posted the picture of Luke and herself from Bridgerton Season 3 to her Instagram grid. And, no, I do not consider this to be a “Polin” picture. The picture appeared to be an alternative version of the polaroid Nicola carried with her throughout the World Tour. She captioned the post, “I thought I’d already shared this but I hadn’t so here you go now it’s all yours.” She also shared this in her stories and captioned that “with the lovliest pal a gal could have” and tagged Luke’s crotch. The story would disappear after 24 hours, but the post itself is still on Nicola’s Instagram grid. This post can be taken in several ways, depending on your mood. Was she friendzoning Luke because she used the word “pal” in her Instagram story? No, I don’t think she was. The “lov[e]liest pal?” That’s about as confusing as their “unique relationship.” Was she telling the fandom to support Luke because she supported Luke (i.e., stop hating on him)? Yeah, probably. Was she telling the fandom that she thought she’d already made it very clear that everything she had been posting was about Luke? Yes, I believe this to be the most reasonable answer, especially when you consider her previous posts. The reality is, that man fills a hefty chunk of her Instagram grid – and not dressed like Colin Bridgerton. But, I also believe that this post may have been a preemptive strike against the narrative that would surface three days later on August 25. It’s entirely possible Nicola knew that the pap pictures of Jake at the festival would be released by DeuxMoi (after all, it took DeuxMois over a week to release them), and Nicola was reminding fans that her narrative involved Luke. Note, that Nicola would repeat this in October when she and Luke simultaneously posted their “Polin” picture to their Instagram stories, which was followed a few days later by DeuxMoi dropping pap pictures of Nicola and Jake.
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Oh, a few honorable mentions post-August 22: (a) Nicola posted a picture from her Stylist Magazine photoshoot – the one from the back seat of a car (i.e., the “modern day carriage”) on August 23; (b) Luke posted about how he only had an Instagram account on August 24; and (c) JVN posted his “two finger” hair straightening demo on TikTok on August 25 (yes, I only listed these honorable mentions to get to JVN’s “two finger” demo because that was some laugh-out-loud funny shit – and it’s literally on the heels of Nicola’s “modern day carriage”).
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August 25. What in the hot fucking kittens is that? Well, thank God, it’s not an iceberg this time. Whoa, they didn’t just pull that Non-Player Character from that group of guys and name a ship after him, did they? Hahaha, dumbasses. Oh, shit! It’s coming straight for us!
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End Log.
Well, how was Chaos Week? Did you have a good time? I’m honestly friggin’ exhausted. Seriously, even just writing all that down was exhausting. Like, my brain is fried. Oh, yeah, feel free to ignore that part at the end of our log. That shit happens every time the Lukolas are given a bit of fun. You’ll get used to it.
I took you on this excursion through Chaos Week today because I believe it is important to develop an opinion about what happened before and after Hot Boy Summer, especially if we’re going to theorize on it at a later point. And, as I mentioned earlier, the before played out in front of our eyes and the after, well, if we have the information available, why not peek in its direction? It’s almost like reading a book from back to front.
There are three things that happened during Chaos Week that have kept my feet firmly planted on the USS Lukola. One, Nicola wearing the “Drink Your Milk” shirt, alluding to the still uncorrected perception that it was Luke’s shirt. Two, “Bless the Telephone.” We started Hot Boy Summer with The Frames singing, “I’m gonna wait for you…” and ended it with Labi Siffre answering, “It’s nice to hear your voice again…” And, three, Nicola posting “Very demure, very mindful,” confirming – in my opinion – that she was very conscious of what her posts were telling the fandom – i.e., that they were for Luke.
But, as I was sitting here typing out my thoughts about Chaos Week, I found myself – oh, no, word vomit! – annoyed.
Yes, annoyed.
It’s not Chaos Week itself that has left me feeling annoyed. That was one hell of a “Bridgerton Ride.” It’s that Chaos Week set in motion this predictable pattern which solidified my opinion that “Lukolas can’t have nice things.” Seriously, we can’t have nice things because something always comes in and fucks it up.
You know how I mentioned at the beginning of this post that Luke’s return to London was the “blip-blip” that led to Chaos Week? Luke was the “cause” and Chaos Week was the “effect.” Well, Chaos Week was the “blip-blip” that led to the current state of the fandom. We now have three ships – the Lukola, the Jakola, and the Lutonia – sailing the Fandom Sea, and every time the Lukola finds itself flying high, it gets hijacked by one or both of those motherfucking side ships.
Every.
Single.
Time.
Somewhere in this hot mess, the chaos that originated from Nicola’s August social media spree found order! In fact, we’ve fallen into such a predictable pattern of events that the ebb and flow of the sideshow antics barely “blip” our radar these days. When bullshit starts bullshitting, I just breathe a deep sigh of unadulterated annoyance and think, “I’m so over this shit.” Honestly, I’m getting the vibe that many of us are over this shit. We’re not playing Scrabble anymore. We’re playing that never-ending game of Risk.
Sometimes I wonder if the fandom would have been better off if Chaos Week had never happened. That Pandora’s Box had never been opened and that the fandom had simply allowed the USS Lukola to sail off into the sunset. But, then I think about the people I have met along the way. The Ones that have made me laugh until my stomach hurts. The Ones with whom I’ve gone so far down a rabbit hole we’ve come out on the other side as different people. The Ones that I’ve rescued from the riptide. And, the Ones that have stopped me from rowing my dinghy to shore (because, yes, I’ve had rough days, too). You all know who you are.
So, I find myself putting up with the day-to-day humdrum of the Life of a Lukola, chatting with the people I now consider my friends, and waiting.
Waiting for something different to happen. A disruption to the current cycle. A new kind of chaos – preferably, the kind that mortally wounds the Jakola and Lutonia love triangles and finally allows the Lukolas to have (and keep) nice things.
But, in the meantime, I am still sitting here – listening for that quiet but distinct sound – but also contemplating knocking the Risk board off the table.
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97linelover · 7 months ago
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Destination Heartbreak - Kim Mingyu
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summary: it´s always you or his work, your realized that now.
But what if the focus is not you? How will you act with being left alone in a difficult time?
content: Idol Mingyu x non Idol reader, fight,angst, happy end,fluff,
wc: 2.2 k
a/n: It´s rather short, but I´m currently so busy at work I barely have time to write...
You were really trying to hold it back, but since your new colleague told your boss about some stuff that wasn't true, you were furious. You always tried to please them all, but if there is not a single bit of trust in them, you would not fight for it anymore.
You grabbed the folders, rushing towards the emergency room. "Y/N, come on," your boss groaned, and you slammed them in the table. "Jieun was already there? Why did I need to run there?" He furrowed his eyebrows.
"Because I'm your fucking boss and you do what I say, is that clear?" He looked at you, "Believe me when I say that I'll throw you out if you talk back to me once more. I'll make sure you'll never get a job back here in Seoul," he said with such an arrogant tone that made you chuckle.
Disgusting Arrogant Prick.
"You need me here, someone that speaks four languages? Someone that has studied in Germany? I'm way too good, and you know that." You were always polite, but today you broke. "But you know what? You're right, don't worry, I'll be fine." With that, you walked out.
You were tired, so tired.
After finishing your 14-hour shift, you were happy to finally come home again, to see your boyfriend's smile, and to just calm down with him. He was exactly what you needed right now.
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as you opened the door to the shared apartment, you walked inside, stumbling over his shoes. You sighed, taking yours off, putting the two pairs into the rack, and walking inside the kitchen.
The food was still scattered around the kitchen, combined with the pans and cutters. The dishwasher was still full with the stuff from yesterday.
You felt your ears ring; you tried to calm down.
You heard some rustling and walked inside the bedroom. You walked towards the wardrobe, and Mingyu was throwing some stuff into his suitcase like a madman; all his clothes were flying around, and your eyes widened.
He looked at you, smiling softly, "Hey baby." He walked towards you and sensed your weird mood. "What's wrong?" He furrowed his eyebrows.
"I'm exhausted," you shrugged your shoulders, and he sighed, "you need a bath? I can run you one," you shook your head. "I'm going to clean," you turned around, sounding really annoyed.
"No kiss, nothing? I'm going to get picked up in a few," he sounded sad. "What do you mean? We were supposed to go on a trip tomorrow," you slumped your shoulders, and his eyes looked sad. "I got a call for a spontaneous gig in London with the boys."
"And when did you want to tell me about that? Is this relationship a fucking joke to you? Am I a joke to you?" You raised your voice. "What is wrong with you?" He crossed his arms, becoming stubborn.
"I'm annoyed that you never do a thing here; I come home from a fucking exhausting day and this apartment looks horrific; you were home the entire day and you did nothing; is this so much to ask?" You were louder, and he licked over his lips.
"Oh, come on, shut it. I always try to help. Just because you're overwhelmed with your silly job, don't blame it on me." You felt your heart sink at his words, "silly job." You whispered, "You know what, Mingyu, it's better if you shut up right now; you barely lift a finger here. If I'm at home, I do everything, and when you're at home, you hire a cleaner. I get that you want to chill, but when I come home, I would love some time for me as well." You were now fully screaming.
"Get your shit together, your crazy," he roared, and your eyes widened. "If you're not used to working, baby, you should change it," he said arrogantly, and you felt the tears in your eyes. "What are you saying? Do you not respect my job the slightest?" You whispered, and you noticed how he tensed at your whiny voice.
The doorbell rang, and he looked at you. Suddenly, he realized that he would leave now. In a huge discussion you both have.
"Don't leave, please," you whispered, and he sighed. "You know I need to." He sounded apologetic.
"Of course you do," you sniffed and looked at him carrying his bag. "You're really leaving right now?" You looked at him with red eyes.
"They're waiting, baby; I need to," he said, walking towards you, trying to touch you. "If you leave right now, I can't promise that I'll be here when you're back, Mingyu," you said, trying to sound strong but your throat felt so dry all of a sudden.
"Baby, don't say that," he tried to cup your cheek, but you only took a step back. "Don't you get it? I need to always respect your job, but you never think about the fact that I also have a hard ass job, and I again realized how you think about my silly little job," you walked back.
"Have fun with the boys." You walked inside the bathroom, his eyes locking with yours, but then he went towards the door.
"Let's talk when I'm back." He sighed, but you only shrugged. "If I'm not exhausted by my silly job," you closed the door.
And seconds later you heard how he left the apartment. You let out a sob, feeling so shitty.
He did not care; he left while you two had such a huge fight.
You understand that he needed to do his work stuff, but you two were supposed to go to Jeju tomorrow for 4 days. It was long overdue.
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You tried to cancel all the things, but of course it was too late. So as you sat inside the plane towards Jeju, you saw the new post from them at the airport.
You saw all of them cheering, waving, and smiling.
All of them except Mingyu.
You looked through the comments and you felt your heart break a little.
'Who hurt him? He looks so sad' 'Something isn't right; give them all a break.'
'He looks like he got his heart broken; whoever did that, I'll break yours.'
And they were right; he looked extremely sad, heartbroken. But he was not the one that got left behind; he could´ve let them wait for a few minutes.
You saw that they will do some BBC live lounge videos and then they will come back. Maybe you two can talk about everything then.
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You tried to enjoy Jeju to the fullest, but it was hard. When you entered your room, there were flowers and champagne greeting you.
All the activities were booked for two, with every activity you were reminded of the trip that should´ve been you two.
And as you carried your suitcase into the elevator, you took a deep breath; he should be home by now. How will you react to him?
You opened the door through the pin, and you could hear some frantic voices: "She fucking left; I can't reach her, Hyung; no, her phone is off; her documents and everything are gone." His voice was full of pain.
But as you walked further inside, he spotted you; his red-rimmed eyes widened. "She's here, Hyung," he ended the call, basically throwing the phone away.
You took a deep breath. "Where were you?" He whispered, pulling his hair. "I thought you left," he pulled you in to his chest. "Fuck, I thought I lost you," he whispered.
"I went to Jeju; I needed some time off," you whispered. "My phone went off, and I forgot the pin," you said quietly, and he looked at you.
"We should talk," he said while stroking your cheek. "We should," you agreed while he sat down. 
"I did not mean what I said; I have so much respect for your job, but seeing you so exhausted all the time makes me so sad," he said quietly, and you nodded. "But it's my job; I want to help people, Gyu; I just need someone at home that will make me calm down." You sighed, and he nodded. "I asked for a small hiatus; they told me that it's alright." He took your hand softly in his. "You're my priority; I want us to stay happy, baby, and if I am the reason you're not happy, then I should be ashamed." 
He took a shaky breath "I´m sorry for what I said, I am sorry that I left, Im so dumb" he sighed.
You smiled at him and sniffed a little. "I love you so much, Mingyu, and I don't want to fight anymore." He cupped your cheek. "I love you, baby, so much." He softly kissed you. 
Mingyu was your safe haven. 
399 notes · View notes
haytan · 1 month ago
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COME BACK TO ME, PRINCESS | G.A
Ugh! I loved writing this. It's also my first time writing more intimate stuff, so I'd love your feedback <3 Thanks to anon for the request!
𓍼 WORD COUNT: 1717
𓍼 SUMMARY: Gracie is on tour and because of that you two haven’t seen each other for a long time, so you surprise her.
𓍼 WARNINGS: fluff, a little just a little smut, mention of sex
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“it’s so boring here without you,” gracie whines from the other side of the cold screen. the glow of your phone is the only thing lighting up your room right now. while it’s exactly midnight in los angeles, it’s 8 a.m. in london.
“i can imagine,” you tease, earning an eye roll from your girlfriend, though it’s accompanied by a soft laugh. gracie is in london accompanying taylor on the eras tour, so she had to travel with her. “our routines are completely different now,” you yawn. “but i guess, in a way, it’s good, right? it means we’re both doing well in our careers.”
gracie hums in agreement, though you can’t see her because she moves off-camera. she’s changing clothes to go grab coffee outside the hotel, then heading to rehearsal, then eating, then getting ready, then the show, and then sleeping. and you know this because she made a point of sending you her entire routine in a perfectly organized spreadsheet—with little love notes included.
it’s clear this is good for both of you. your careers are taking off, and you couldn’t be prouder or happier that gracie is living her dream of opening for taylor swift. but it’s still hard to go through your days without her by your side, without her kisses, caresses, and, most importantly, her unique touch.
“babe, i have to go, but i’ll call you… umm…” she frowns and looks off into the distance, thinking. “at lunch, okay?”
“sure, but hey, don’t worry about me, alright? enjoy it there. love you, princess.”
“love you too. see you later, love.”
three days later, gracie is returning from the last show in london, a smile lighting up her face after receiving a glowing speech from taylor and even singing with her. “i’m so happy, audrey, seriously, you have no idea,” she bounces with excitement as the two walk from the car to the hotel.
“i can imagine! you were amazing,” audrey replies as they pass through the revolving door, the room immediately bathed in a golden glow from the chic decor. “and this hotel—if i’d known taylor was footing the bill, i’d have come here earlier.”
“shut up.”
audrey just giggles in response.
“you know, i wish y/n was here. i miss her,” gracie’s voice drops to a softer, almost melancholic tone.
“she is here.”
“what?”
“i mean—she’s here in your heart. i-i meant in your heart and your head, you know, that love thing.”
“oh… got it.”
audrey almost slips up and ruins the surprise she and abby have planned. as fun as the trip has been and as many dreams as gracie has fulfilled, she hasn’t stopped talking about you. one time, after a few drinks, she even cried, lamenting that you weren’t there. you only know because abby recorded it and called you, which was funny but also broke your heart a little
while you wait for gracie to reach her hotel room, you and abby argue over the best way to surprise her.
“what if you hide behind the door?”
“no! that’s dumb. what if she doesn’t see me?”
“then you jump on her back, duh.”
“she’s tired, abby.”
“okay, okay, then just stand in front of the door like a statue.”
“i’m pretty sure she’d love me even if i were a—” both of you freeze when you hear voices in the hallway, none other than audrey’s, speaking loudly to signal you. your heart pounds faster, and you swear anyone nearby could hear it.
“hurry, hurry, she’s coming.”
“oh, crap.” you nervously try to strike a pose, turning one way, then another, attempting to think of a way to impress your girlfriend. hands on hips, smiling, tilting your head, standing straight, leaning slightly to the side—everything feels awkward. but the moment gracie opens the door, you freeze, standing stiffly like a statue staring at her.
it takes only seconds for her honey-colored eyes to lock onto yours. “baby?” gracie tries to say, but her voice trembles, as though all the air has been sucked from her lungs. her fingers linger on the door handle, hesitant, like she can’t believe what she’s seeing.
“hi, princess,” you manage, your voice soft, almost faltering against the lump forming in your throat.
before you can even speak, gracie closes the distance between you. she throws herself into your arms with such force it feels like she’ll never let go. her scent surrounds you: that familiar perfume, a mix of jasmine and something sweet and comforting like vanilla. it’s as if all the emptiness of the past few days is filled in an instant.
her face buries into your neck, and you feel the soft texture of her hoodie against your skin. the warmth of her touch is almost overwhelming, a wave of relief and emotion making your eyes sting. you can feel her warm breath against your neck, the way her hands clutch your back tightly, fingers curling into the fabric of your shirt as if confirming you’re real.
“i missed you so much,” she whispers, her voice muffled.
“i missed you too—like, a lot,” you reply, a soft laugh escaping through the emotions weighing between you. your fingers trace small circles on her back, the touch slow and comforting, while your other hand rests firmly on her waist, holding her close.
she lifts her face to look at you again, her eyes shining with a mix of relief and happiness. her pupils are dilated, cheeks flushed, as though all the love she feels for you is written across her face. “you’re the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen,” she murmurs, her forehead almost touching yours, like she can’t resist the closeness.
while you and gracie are caught in an embrace that feels endless, abby and audrey watch the scene unfold with a mix of fondness and impatience. audrey is the first to speak, but abby quickly silences her with a shushing gesture, whispering, “they’re in full romantic movie mode right now, so wait.”
but audrey can’t resist making a joke. “i knew this reunion would be intense, but it’s straight out of a soap opera, isn’t it? think they’ll cry?” she mutters to abby, who tries to stifle a laugh but elbows her in warning.
“okay, we’re going to leave you two alone now,” abby finally announces, dragging audrey by the arm with an exaggeratedly dramatic stance. “let’s go, audrey. our work as cupids is done. time to let the main couple have their moment.”
before leaving, audrey turns with a mischievous grin and throws out one last comment: “just don’t be too loud, okay? the walls are thin.” her remark earns three dirty looks—yours, gracie’s, and even abby’s, who lightly slaps her arm.
“abby, seriously?” audrey grumbles as they leave the room, but their muffled laughter still echoes down the hallway.
deep down, you know abby and audrey were just trying to lighten the mood, and gracie’s faint smile at their retreating footsteps proves they succeeded. now the room belongs to just the two of you, and the air feels different—lighter but still charged with emotion.
gracie lies on your chest, her body still warm and soft against yours. her cheeks are flushed, and her breath comes out a little uneven, as if her lungs haven't decided on the right rhythm yet. she lets out a short laugh, almost breathless, before burying her face in your neck.
"that… was amazing," she says, her voice rough and muffled against your skin.
you smile, letting your fingers slide through her hair, damp and messy. each touch makes you want to laugh nervously, because how can someone look so beautiful even when they're sweaty? "definitely… you were amazing," you reply, trying not to sound silly, but failing miserably.
her scent is everywhere, and it's impossible to ignore. it has a sweet, citrusy touch, mixed with what you two just did… it only makes you more obsessed. you breathe in deeply, as if you could etch it into your memory.
gracie lifts her head slowly, her messy hair framing her face. she rests her chin on your chest, eyes meeting yours. "i know i've said this like a thousand times, but i missed you," she says, her lips still slightly parted and swollen from the kisses.
your hand slides from her waist to her hip, where your fingers trace slow circles on her soft skin. you pull her closer, guiding her to straddle you again, the heat between you two reigniting instantly. her center rubs against yours, slick and slippery, leaving marks on your skin that only intensify your hunger for her.
gracie lets out a short sigh, her head tilting slightly back, exposing her neck, marked by a trail of erotic hickeys. you can't resist, leaning in to kiss the perfect curve there, her skin warm under your lips, the taste salty and sweet at the same time.
"you’re so beautiful like this," you murmur against her skin, feeling her muscles tense lightly with your words.
she laughs, that little laugh you love, and leans forward, kissing you. but this time, the kiss is slow, lazy, giving both of you a chance to savor each other again. gracie's tongue finds yours with such familiarity it feels natural, while her hands hold your face, sliding lightly over the sweat—reminding you of how well she knows you and possesses you completely.
when she finally breaks the kiss to catch her breath, her eyes shine, and with a soft chuckle, her body starts moving against yours once more, drawing a heavy sigh from you. somehow, it reminds you of the conversation you had earlier. 'would you still love me if i were a statue?'
"what?" gracie furrows her brow, followed by a playful smile. she doesn't stop moving; instead, she leans into your neck, scattering kisses on the spot.
"would you love me if i were a statue?"
gracie pauses for a moment, her eyes narrowing as the question hangs in the air. she raises an eyebrow, pulling back to look you in the eyes.
"you're asking me this now?" she laughs softly, but there's a tenderness in her gaze. "you know i’d love you no matter what happens. even if you were a statue… i’d find a way to kiss you anyway."
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I'm so happy because my favorite Gracie x Reader writer followed me omgggg
thanks for reading <3
also happy new year!
masterlist
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shadowtriovibes · 2 years ago
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dance in a storm in my best dress
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Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x f!MC
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3K
Summary: by request: "I have a fun idea! How about Sebastian and f!mc are "just friends" until one day she asks him to help her try on/give his opinion on some new dresses, and desire and spice ensue??"
"Go on and change back into your robes, Mister Sallow," the shopkeeper says. "I suspect we’ll be inquiring about your opinion shortly." While Sebastian returns to the back, Mr. Hill summons a modesty screen around the rack of dresses you’d pulled and waits patiently while you slip out of your school robes and wrestle your way into that first dress – the periwinkle blue. There are so many layers that it takes you at least ten minutes to even put on your crinoline, which Mr. Hill assures you he’ll let you keep on for all three options. "Have you even put one on yet?" you hear Sebastian call out when he returns. "Merlin's beard, you’ll take on a den of trolls by yourself but you’re bested by today’s fashion trends!"
“Thank you for coming with me,” you say softly, shyly tucking your face a bit deeper into your oversized scarf as you avoid snow swirling around you.
It’s not an intense blizzard by any means, but nevertheless you appreciate that Sebastian had agreed to trudge down to Hogsmeade with you that afternoon when he could have spent the day with a dreadfully boring book by the fire in his common room, which is typically how he spends any free time he has as a seventh-year N.E.W.T.s student.
“Of course,” he says easily. “It’s about time I came up for air, so to speak.”
Despite the ongoing pressure of your final year of school, it had felt like all of Hogwarts had been abuzz about the upcoming holiday ball for what felt like weeks. Even you and your treasured trio of Slytherins had made plans to go together, and your daydreams of twirling across an enchanted dance floor in a fabulous gown had helped get you through some of the most arduous study sessions you’ve ever experienced.
With your end-of-term exams having concluded the day before, there was now only one thing standing in the way of you blowing off some steam at the ball with your best friend.
You need a dress.
Poppy had been the one to inform you that Mr. Hill had specially ordered some lovely fabrics from London as soon as he’d caught wind of an upcoming formal occasion. While it’s certainly too late to have anything custom made, you hoped you’d be able to find something in his shop that would suit you with a few minor alterations.
You’d invited Sebastian to join you on your shopping trip primarily for moral support, as the two of you were going to the ball together as friends.
(Anne had been quick to claim Ominis as her date so that she wouldn’t have to take her own brother, and you and Sebastian had been equally loath to bother asking anyone else.)
However, you suspect you may also need some help physically donning the dresses. You may not know much about what’s in fashion these days, but hearing some of your classmates boast about precisely how many garment layers they’d be wearing had nearly made your head spin.
“Do you have your dress robes?” you press him skeptically. “Anne said you were procrastinating.”
“Yes, nosy,” he laughs. “Ominis made me pick some out last weekend, and Mr. Hill should have them in for me by now.”
“Good,” you say primly. “You’ll have to try them on while we’re there and make sure they fit.”
“This is now my second trek into Hogsmeade for this silly ball,” he points out with a cheeky grin. “I hope it’s going to be as enjoyable as you lot are saying it’ll be.”
“It will,” you insist. “We all need something like this, something that’s just… joyful, I suppose.”
Sebastian glances sidelong at you with a tender smile.
“Fair point,” he agrees. “Right as usual, you are.”
“You’re still surprised after all this time?” you tease him, bumping your shoulder against his while he laughs.
When the two of you walk into Gladrags, Augustus Hill perks up excitedly and slips out from behind the ornate counter.
“Ah! Just the young witch and wizard I was hoping to see today,” he crows. “Come in, come in! I dare say, it’s awfully frigid today.”
You hang up your cloaks while Mr. Hill rustles up a tray of tea for the both of you. Ever since that troll encounter years ago, the Gladrags shopkeeper has always had a soft spot for you and Sebastian, which often results in the two of you feeling downright spoiled every time you visit him.
“Thank you, Mr. Hill,” you say as you accept the warm mug he offers.
“Mister Sallow,” he says as he hands Sebastian his tea. “Your dress robes came in just this morning! Why don’t I send you off with young Otto to try it on and mark up any alterations?”
You glance warily at Sebastian, reluctant to split from him as you do your shopping.
As though he’d read your mind, Mr. Hill laughs and insists, “He won’t be kept long, my dear! Fitting a young man’s dress robes is a much simpler task than that which you have on your hands, I should expect.”
“Why don’t you just pick out some things to try while Otto works his magic?” Sebastian teases. “I’ll be back before you know it.”
Once you agree, Mr. Hill sends Sebastian to the backroom while you sip your tea and discuss some of your preferences with the kindly shopkeeper. You admit to not being very knowledgeable about fashion, but you have some colors in mind that you think may suit you – as well as very strict expectations on how much range of motion you want to maintain.
“I need to be able to breathe,” you insist, glancing hesitantly at some of the impossibly small corsets in the window display.
Peering over his spectacles with a wise smile, he answers, “I think that can be arranged.”
He then begins to show you the collection of remaining dresses he has in stock. As the premier clothier for the majority of your fellow witches at Hogwarts, he doesn’t have an unlimited supply this close to the ball, but his selections don’t disappoint.
“This blue color is quite pretty,” you sigh, gingerly inspecting the sleeve of one of the dresses he offers.
“I suspected you might like that one,” he says brightly. “Let us pull it for now and select a few more for you to try on, hmm?”
You end up also selecting a red gown with a smart-looking cape that would show off your house colors brilliantly and a crisply white evening dress with delicate golden embroidery around the bottom of the skirt.
“This should do for a start,” Mr. Hill says.
“Really? No green?” Sebastian asks from behind you.
When you turn to remind him pointlessly that you aren’t actually a Slytherin, your words fail you.
He looked utterly dashing in his dress robes. At first glance, he appeared to be wearing what looked like a Muggle tuxedo, but the extra-long tails and high collar gave away that it was most certainly wizarding apparel. His jacket and pants were both inky black – so dark that they appeared to even darken the room around him, or maybe you had just lost focus of everything that wasn’t him.
Of course, having been expertly fitted by Otto, Sebastian’s robes seem to cling to every inch of him. The waistcoat makes his waist look exceptionally narrow, or perhaps it’s that his chest looks so broad. His shoulders appear to be broader as well underneath his jacket, and while the long tails might appear to shorten other men, on Sebastian they merely elevate the length of his legs.
He slips on a pair of white gloves that Otto hands him and you bite down hard on the inside of your cheek. He looks like a proper gentleman dressed like this, you think – not at all like the haphazardly-robed young man you’re used to seeing.
“Ah! Excellent,” Mr. Hill says with a clap, breaking your trance. “A perfect fit.”
“How do I look?” Sebastian asks you teasingly.
“B-brilliant,” you stammer. “It, um. Fits. You’re fit – I mean, it fits very well.”
“Of course, we’ll charm the waistcoat to whatever color you’d like to match your dress, once you’ve made your selection,” Mr. Hill explains as he gestures to the garment. “Or simply leave it white.”
“Of course we’ll match,” Sebastian says easily. “But getting this one to make a selection isn’t going to be easy.”
You scoff and turn back around to the rack of dresses to hide your persistent blush.
“Go on and change back into your robes, Mister Sallow,” the shopkeeper says. “I suspect we’ll be inquiring about your opinion shortly.”
While Sebastian returns to the back, Mr. Hill summons a modesty screen around the rack of dresses you’d pulled and waits patiently while you slip out of your school robes and wrestle your way into that first dress – the periwinkle blue. There are so many layers that it takes you at least ten minutes to even put on your crinoline, which Mr. Hill assures you he’ll let you keep on for all three options.
“Have you even put one on yet?” you hear Sebastian call out when he returns. “Merlin’s beard, you’ll take on a den of trolls by yourself but you’re bested by today’s fashion trends!”
“Come and help me then!” you whine.
“Er – is that alright?” Sebastian asks Mr. Hill.
“Of course!” he exclaims. “He’s your date, it would be unchivalrous not to assist you.”
That’s when you realize that Mr. Hill probably thinks you and Sebastian are properly dating, but for reasons you don’t want to admit to yourself just yet, you don’t correct him.
You could also sorely use some help as well.
“Mind the petticoat,” you mumble as he ducks behind the screen.
You’re both quiet as Sebastian helps carefully bundle up the skirt of the dress and drape it over your upright arms, slowly working it down your body so that it doesn’t catch on any of the boning in your corset. Once the skirt gracefully pours down over your petticoat, you gently smooth the bodice and turn around so he can lace up the strings crossing your back.
“Too tight?” he asks softly.
“N-no,” you murmur. “You can even do them a bit tighter, actually.”
You gasp softly when he pulls on the strings and cinches your waist tighter, and Sebastian pauses for a beat, but you don’t instruct him to loosen it.
Once he fumblingly ties the strings together at the small of your back, he mumbles, “All set.”
He offers you a hand to steady you while you shuffle out from behind the screen. Mr. Hill immediately laves praise onto the dress, and while you agree that it is quite lovely, a glance in the mirror reveals that periwinkle blue just isn’t a color in which you shine.
“No matter,” the shopkeeper insists. “Onto the red, shall we?”
Sebastian again helps you slide the dress off up over your head and replace it with the red one, this time lacing you tightly from the start. There’s a delicate cape that goes with this one, so you turn around to face him so he can drape it over your shoulders and tie the small silk ribbons that sit just at your collarbones.
“Ought to be plenty warm in this one,” he jokes halfheartedly, trying and failing to resist the urge to sneak glances at your décolletage.
“Is the cape a bit…?” you ask quietly, wrinkling your nose. “Is it too much?”
“What?” he asks dumbly. “O-oh, no, I – I think you look great. It’s a great dress, really.”
You’re nearly as red as the dress when you emerge for a second time, and once again Mr. Hill thinks you look like “a buxom Beauxbatons beauty from the boulevards of Paris.” However, regardless of your house pride, if you’re going to be blushing like this all evening at the ball – and the odds on that are significant – you know you simply can’t go with red.
“I have one more to try on,” you tell Sebastian softly. “It’s that white one, just there.”
You notice Sebastian’s gaze linger on the ornate embroidery, a pleased look passing over his face.
“It’s stunning,” he tells you. “Shall we get it on you?”
You merely nod, not trusting yourself with words at the moment.
The moment Sebastian helps you slip into the white dress, you know you have a winner. As if imbued with magic (and perhaps it is indeed), the white silk shimmers almost like the fresh snow outside the shop window. However, instead of feeling like a proper ice princess, you feel warm all over – especially where Sebastian’s hands mindlessly reach out to trace the fine embroidered patterns on your bodice.
“You look…” he exhales. “You just need to see, come on.”
He walks you out for the last time and even Mr. Hill refrains from commenting until you twirl in front of the mirror, your skirt gracefully lifting and falling with your movement.
“...I look beautiful,” you whisper. “Oh, Mr. Hill, it’s just lovely.”
“This is the one,” Sebastian insists. “You have to pick this one, it’s hardly even a choice.”
“Your companion is correct!” Mr. Hill crows. “My dear, it’s as if that gown was made precisely for you.”
Otto comes by to charm a few simple adjustments into the fabric of the dress and you watch yourself in the mirror with wide eyes as it molds itself to your body. Now it looks just like one of those custom dresses in the illustrations that the girls in your year pour over in the shopping pages at the back of the Daily Prophet.
“I think we’re done here,” Sebastian says quietly, his eyes still fixed on that one embroidered seam at your waist where your bodice meets your skirt.
“Of course,” Mr. Hill agrees. “Let’s get you out of that crinoline so I can send you two lovebirds on your way for a nice Butterbeer or two!”
As he babbles on about how it’s just like the last time the two of you came into his shop together, you meet Sebastian’s gaze and realize both of you are steadfastly refusing to correct the man. You know that you’re blushing, but seeing him blush just as fiercely is quite revealing.
After you pay Mr. Hill and make plans for Otto to deliver the dress to the castle once the storm lets up, you and Sebastian wordlessly trudge down to Sirona’s lively pub. There you manage to snag a small booth in one of the far corners – one that you’re well aware is a popular spot for snogging.
“So…” he says softly. “Lovebirds, are we now?”
“Don’t start,” you warn him. “You know how Augustus is, it’s usually just better to let him talk than spend all afternoon trying to correct him.”
“You didn’t even try,” he observes.
You counter, “Nor did you.”
Just then Sirona drops off your drinks and Sebastian forfeits his turn in your verbal duel by taking a pointedly long sip.
Then you forfeit your own turn when you get too distracted by the bit of Butterbeer foam on his upper lip to offer anything remotely witty.
“Well, regardless,” Sebastian eventually murmurs. “You did look beautiful in that dress.”
“Thank you,” you say. “And you were very handsome in your robes.”
“Proper fit, one might say,” he retorts.
The cheek, honestly.
“Sebastian,” you say quietly. “I need you to be honest with me about something.”
“Go on,” he says, taking another long sip while you consider your words.
Slowly, you ask him, “Since we met… have you ever once thought about us being more than just friends?”
“Have I ever once thought about it?” he repeats. “Of course I have. Countless times, probably”
“Then why haven’t you ever said anything?” you ask, staring deep into your mug to avoid having to meet his eyes.
You flinch slightly when Sebastian reaches across the table and plucks one of your hands off your mug. He laces his fingers with yours and pulls you closer, and the noise in the room seems to dwindle to a whisper as he meets your gaze.
“Between you and me, you’ve always been the brave one,” he tells you earnestly. “And I’d rather have only friendship with you than ask for too much and lose you entirely. Believe it or not I have learned when to stop.”
You smile ruefully at the reminder of just how much Sebastian has grown since you chose to give him the chance to do so.
He drags his thumb across yours. “So, if you want to be brave, I’ll be brave with you.”
You exhale shakily before you finally confess, “Of course I want to, Seb.”
You’re nearly in his lap at this point, and there’s absolutely no way the conversation you’re having could be interpreted as merely friendly by any onlookers. So, you think, why not be brave?
When you kiss him, the first thing you notice is that he tastes like the caramelly richness of the Butterbeer you’d both been drinking. But then it melts away and it’s just him, just Sebastian. He’s wonderfully warm, and underneath the initial sweetness he tastes a bit like the fluxweed stem he mindlessly chews on while he studies to help him focus.
His nose slots against yours as he tilts his head to kiss you deeper, and you wonder what he’s noticing about you.
But a moment later, the feeling of his warm hand on your thigh immediately makes you lose your train of thought.
“Seb,” you whisper, pulling back just enough to press your forehead to his.
“Let’s go back to the castle,” he blurts out eagerly.
You fondly roll your eyes and let him steal another kiss before you push him back with a gentle hand on his chest.
“I believe you just said something about having learned when to stop?” you tease him.
“I don’t see how that’s relevant,” he says cheekily.
“You’re just going to have to be patient, Mister Sallow,” you insist as you reach for your drink. “I thought I saw quite the gentleman in you today. I don’t suppose you could act like him until after the ball?”
“I could,” he offers. “But where’s the fun in that?”
“Tell you what,” you bargain, leaning in close. “If you can be a perfect gentleman from now until the ball, I’ll let you help me put my dress on, and then afterward I’ll let you take it off.” 
You hear him loudly swallow and take a deep breath before he holds out a hand for you to shake and breathes, “You have yourself a deal, love.”
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sweetmoonlight7 · 11 months ago
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20. Emotional
@jegulus-microfic | March 20: Emotional | word count: 588
All week something had been feeling off…
Regulus couldn’t exactly place why people were acting all weird and emotional around him. Even Remus, who is usually the only person Regulus can trust to be normal, is acting off.
Every time Regulus walked into a room everyone would stop talking or very clearly change the subject.
If he tried talking to Remus he would get all nervous constantly looking around and then would leave.
Barty and Even were no better than cutting off their calls and canceling the weekly lunch.
Finally, he decided to ask Sirius about it hoping that his brother would be honest with him. To his surprise, his brother took one look at him turned around and left without a word.
Normally this would frustrate him, but after trying to talk to his brother yesterday he’s just worried…
His only option left was to wait for James to come back from a trip and ask him if he knew what the hell was going on.
This went on for two more excruciating days.
At last on Monday, when he should be having lunch with his best friends he wakes up to his name being called.
“Regulus…Regulus, wake up love”
He opens his eyes and sure enough, his boyfriend who should still be in London is in front of him and he’s kneeling…?
“What are you doing James?”
“Look, I have been trying to come up with ways to do this for months. Finally, I gave up and asked our friends but nothing sounded right… a dinner and a walk, going to the astronomy tower where we fell in love, shouting in the great hall, every grand gesture of love… but none of them seemed to like us.”
He notices the box James is fiddling with. It wasn’t big or flashy but it did have stars painted in silver all around it. He wonders if it came like that or if James put them there himself.
Slowly James opened the box and took out two rings.
“James what-“
“Just one second of love, okay?”
“..okay…” he’s still a little sleepy and disoriented but he knows what was coming, he can feel the tears begin to well up in his eyes.
“Regulus, I have loved you my entire life. Even when I didn’t know I loved you, I knew I needed to be around you. All my life I felt like I was chasing the wrong people, like I was getting caught up with the idea of love before falling in love. I didn’t even understand how strong it could be until I met you. Every year we have spent together has been perfect, even in the middle of a war, even when we fight, or when we weren’t sure what was going to happen the next day, everything has been perfect because I have you by my side. So-“
“Yes!!”
“I haven’t finished yet!!” He could see James holding back his tears, a smile splitting on his face, and could feel his spilling down his cheeks,
“Fine, fine go one”
“So Regulus Black, would you do me the honor of marrying me?”
“Yes James yes I’ll marry you” he cries out, his voice sounds watery, so different from his normal speech.
James fumbles with the rings and puts one in his hand.
It’s beautiful, just a silver band with a small stone in the middle, inside J.F.P with a little sun carved in. On James’ hand a matching one with R.A.B and a star.
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thirstywoso · 6 months ago
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Take me out to the ball game - Jessie Fleming x Reader (platonic and fluffy)
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A/N: the person that inspired this fic doesn't know I've written it but it's short, fluffy and platonic - it's also rushed and messy and please know that I don't know the first thing about baseball and that's why it lacks detail 😭
Warnings: None
W/C: 1.5k
Synopsis: You help Jessie feel welcome in Portland
You'd been at Portland a few years before Jessie had joined, that didn't mean the all too familiar feeling of being a newbie was a distant memory. In fact you remembered how nervous you were making new friends, learning the new drills and fitting into the routine and lifestyle at Portland. Most clubs were similar with the way they spaced out and scheduled gym sessions, pitch training and analytics, it just was different to your old club. Settling into a new city was also hard and even with familiar faces on the team it took you some time to feel fully comfortable.
That's why when Jessie came to Portland you decided to take on the roll of big sister, even though she was a year or two older than you. You had always taken people under your wing and had a caring nature but something about Jessie and the way she spoke and would intently listen to you wasn't something you hadn't experienced before.
You'd been spending a lot of downtime with the girl, her first week you showed her around the city and showed her places and amenities that would be of benefit to her, last week you'd spent your time helping her settle into her apartment as her belongings that she had sent over from London started to arrive along with the new furniture she had ordered.
Each evening after training you'd find yourself on the floor of Jessie's apartment with a few beers and takeout containers from somewhere or another. This was Jessie's treat most nights as a thank you for helping her to put together all her flatpack furniture and organise her apartment into the way she liked.
It was Friday night and you were sat with her on her bedroom floor, she had a mattress that she had been sleeping on but that morning her new bed frame had come.
As per usual you were sharing a crate of beers that you'd bough over, whilst screws, nuts and bolts neatly laid out next to the instructions that you'd set out ready for your "adult legos"
"Okay so part A" you say picking it up "goes into part B" you scan the floor for said part before looking over to Jessie who had it in her hand. "Aha that's it, if you pass me a screw from pile one then I'll secure them" you let her know. She does as you ask and you put them together.
It doesn't take long, swapping between roles of securing the beams and holding things in place/ grabbing the bolts. Within an hour or so Jessie's bed frame was put together and you'd placed the mattress on top and assisted her in making up her bed, you then both retired to her couch that you'd helped put together a few days before, you sat there finishing up your beers and chatted late into the night seeing as Saturday was an off day for you both.
"So, as an apology for having you over here every night to help me put together my apartment, I was thinking you could come over and I'd make you dinner and we can relax for a change?" Jessie offered
"I mean.." you start scratching your neck "I'd love to take you up on that offer, believe me, I'm just thinking about going to Seattle to watch the Mariners play" pausing because you didn't want to reject the offer "I am so down to do another night though" you give.
"Oh, yeah sure sorry! I didn't even think, you've spent every night here all week that I forgot you might want time to yourself and never even thought you'd have plans and that's on me, mariners huh? Is that baseball? I'm not sure I've never really watched it, and if I'm honest I don't understand it, you like baseball? I never knew that!" She rambled out really fast almost tripping over her words, slightly embarrassed by her assumptions.
You grab her arm stroking it gently, "shh Jessie, it's cool don't worry about it" you wait for her to breathe before carrying on "yes, I do like baseball, I also haven't minded a single minute hanging out with you, It's just been awhile since I went to a game, you can come with me if you like?" You ask her.
"I wouldn't want to intrude, I also know nothing about baseball" She tells you.
"You are not intruding, I'm going by myself and it would be nice to have company, I can also teach you? Only if you want?" You say somewhat hopefully.
"Okay that would be nice!" She accepts your invite.
-
The next morning you pick Jessie up from her apartment and stop off at the store for a snack run, grabbing various sugar filled treats and some sodas.
As you drive you become even closer with Jessie, both sharing anecdotes and stories about your lives, finding out your shared love of artisanal coffee, passion for photography and love of a good hike. You fell into a rhythm of telling stories back and forth until you arrived at the stadium.
You'd worn your baseball jersey and gave one to Jessie to wear, once inside you'd told her you wanted to treat her to the entire baseball experience, buying her a hot dog and a beer from one of the vendors before finding your seats.
You gave Jessie a quick run through of the game and told her about how many innings there would be and how the scoring would work.
Throughout the game Jessie began to pick up on various rules and was starting to better understand how baseball worked, at one point excusing herself to the restroom. You'd offered to show her the way but she insisted you stay and watch, when she returned she had the face of a kid in a candy store.
In each hand was a novelty miniature baseball helmet made of plastic filled with ice cream, "I didn't know if you'd want one but look how cool these are! They said we can keep them when we are done too!" She squealed excitedly, you couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm.
Really appreciating the way she was taking in something you loved and was enjoying it, making the experience of one of your favourite things just that much better.
You thanked her and took the ice cream that probably cost way too much but you appreciated the gesture, you began to eat it and couldn't help but smile at the way Jessie kept giggling at hers.
"Next time remind me to buy you a beer in a baseball bat" you laughed, until she looked at you mouth agape in shock.
"That's a thing!" She exclaimed, to which you just laughed again in reply as you nod your head.
"It is"
"I need one!" She practically squealed
"Next time" you laugh
"Fine" she agrees with a mock pout.
"So how long have you been a mariners fan?" She asks after a few minutes of you sitting in comfortable silence.
"Well actually I'm not a Mariners fan, I just enjoy watching all of the teams. I am however a big cubs fan"
"Oh yeah, Chicago right?"
"Yeah, my dad use to take me when I was growing up and it kinda just stuck" you say with a shrug
"That's really sweet, I used to go with my dad to watch ice hockey growing up, in fact my whole family kind of grew up playing ice hockey. I think they were more than surprised when I took up soccer as my profession instead of becoming a professional hockey player." She tells you about her childhood, which you found somewhat comforting.
The way Jessie spoke and expressed herself filled you with an almost calm feeling, it was nice to have a friend that you felt so relaxed around that didn't drain you of your energy.
You also couldn't help but feel warmth from seeing how excited the small freckled Canadian would get at all the tiny things she noticed during the game.
Afterwards you headed back towards Portland, Jessie yapping away about how much she enjoyed the game and would love to do it again, she also promised that she would make you dinner another night of your choosing.
You agreed that any day would work for you and told her you enjoyed her company tonight and how excited you were to do it again.
Beaming at you from the passenger seat she nodded her head in agreement.
Before you knew it time had sped by and you were dropping her back at her apartment, returning to yours you felt somewhat bitter sweet that the night was over but you were also excited for the next time you could take her to a game.
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sleepyconfusedpotato · 2 years ago
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More of You, Pt. 1
Direct continuation from the fic Wildflower! I'd recommend reading it first before this one (。・∀・)ノ゙
Part 2
One month since Ghost got deployed, one month since their 'date' got postponed, until Laswell called Jade to tell her that he'd gone missing in action.
Pairing : Simon “Ghost” Riley x Charlotte “Jade” Le Jardin (OC)
Word Count : ~ 7.8k words (I overdid it but idc lmao)
Warning : some angst with flufff don't worry, some whump, light gore, hurt/comfort, and good ol’ cursings.
Prompt : There's only one bed oop
Title and story inspired by the song with the same title by JP Saxe!
*****
“Ghost, give me a sitrep now!” 
“Watcher-1, things are not lookin’ good-- They found me.”
“We cannot get you an exfil in that area. You need to lose them first. Get out of there right now!”
“My ammo’s runnin’ out… I can’t lose them—”
“Ghost, do you copy?!
“Ghost!”
---
It's been two months since Simon told her that he's going out of the country to go on a mission. It's honestly crazy how much she missed him already, considering the fact that they were not even a couple yet. Jade couldn't even fathom how much his presence, or at least his mere existence in the same country, meant to her. Two months felt so long. Too long. 
No one to call her names, no one to ask her to go explore London culinaries, no one to go thrifting with (for Ghost's lack of variety of wardrobe), no one to have a drink while stargazing.
And no one to hug. 
Well, not that she ever hugged him for more than 2 seconds anyway. Ghost was certainly not a hugger. The only times they hug were after each… 'date', they'd come in contact for a short hug, before Ghost took off. 
He must've hated hugs. 
Jade sighed, resting her chin on her palm at the Le Jardin floristry counter.
It was a slow day. There were a few pre-orders, but there weren't even 15 clients that came in. One hour until the shop closes, and Jade was the only person at the shop. Her employees had left, while her parents were on a trip to Asia. Honestly, it miffed her, because now her mind was full of Ghost and Ghost only.
Where is he?, she wondered. 
The ringtone of her phone snapped her out of her thoughts. Jade reached for her phone on the counter, and Laswell's name was written on the screen. She raised her eyebrow at the sight, thinking of what else the CIA agent had in store for her after Jade clearly told her that she was retired. 
Rolling her eyes, Jade tapped the green button and put the phone on her ear, "Kate, you can't just call me whenever you run out of people to send out–"
"Ghost is MIA."
Not even a second later, her legs brought her to the front door before she flipped the tag from 'Open' to 'Closed'. "For how long?"
"Yesterday." Laswell's calm voice continued on the phone, "Ghost going dark is not an uncommon occurrence. He's used to it, and all this time he always comes back, but the situation was awry."
"What happened before he went MIA?" Jade switched the light off, climbed the stairs to reach her room and quickly opened her drawer to change into 'proper' clothes. 
"We had an intel about a hidden drug stash in South America. There was a suspicion that it might be related to the Las Almas drug cartel. After months of tracking, Ghost then found a hidden facility. He went to investigate, but it appeared that his position was compromised, and the last thing we know, he was being chased by the Narcos before the radio cut off." The CIA agent explained, her tone was stable, yet there was a tinge of guilt in them. "I fear he might be in a dangerous situation, or worse."
Zipping up her turtleneck, Jade then walked to her father's study, obtaining the key to open the discreet stash of weapons behind the shelves. 
"Price and Gaz are with Farah in Urzikstan, while Soap is halfway around the globe on another mission." 
She took her plate carrier, her karambit knives and their holsters, plus her firearms along with the ammo. 
“I apologize to you, Jade. I truly do. But you're our best tracker, and I know what he means to you, so I notified you first.”
Putting all the necessary pieces of equipment into a duffle bag, Jade then lifted the bag downstairs, moving fast to the backdoor and made her way to her sedan, sitting in the driver’s seat. 
“Your wheels are up in 3 hours and I'll brief you more on the way. Are you up for this?”
“Brief me now.”
-----
The facility was deep in the middle of a rainforest. Made of cement, hidden by the tall trees of South America, it was a well-hidden building, obviously far out of the public eye.
Hiding behind the tall bushes and her steps covered by the pouring rain, it was relatively easy for her to take a tour around the building to scout the area. Jade could at least count 12 armed guards outside, guarding the many sides of the building. They rotate the place constantly every hour, occasionally talking into their radio for reports. 
Twelve was a ton of people for the building’s size, almost too much. They were in the middle of a rainforest and far from any city. The only reason they need this much guard out would be a whole pack of hungry jaguars. 
However, judging by the number of Narcos' dead bodies that Jade had encountered in the mud along the way, the reason for the many guards was definitely not big cats.
Ghost. 
He must’ve stealthily killed his way in, and somehow he got noticed by a guard, and they started to hunt him down with guns blazing.
Jade swallowed. The only thing she was relieved about was the fact that none of those lifeless bodies was Ghost’s. It had been 4 days since Laswell lost contact with him. Ghost being captured had the highest possibility at this point, as the guards might not be placed to guard against who’s outside. 
But to contain who’s inside. 
"Watcher-1 this is Sierra-4, twelve armed guards on the exterior. I'm thinking of infiltrating them from the south side of the building." Jade spoke with a low voice to her PTT, preparing herself to go in, picturing every single step of her feet towards the building, every motion of her limbs to reach the point of entrance.
"Copy that, Sierra-4, you may proceed. Keep updating me on the situation."
Just after Laswell’s confirmation, sounds of gunshots rang from inside the building. That shocked and confused Jade as she lowered her scope which she had used to scout the area. All the guards turned around to face the building as more shots were fired from the inside. She could hear their loud chatters and shoutings through their radios, panic was written all over their faces as most of them ran inside to check the situation. 
Jade couldn’t quite hear what the guards were talking about as their voices were muffled by the rain, but one thing she could clearly hear in Spanish was,
‘The prisoner escaped!’
Ghost was fighting his way out.
"Watcher-1, I hear gunshots from the inside. I suspect it's Ghost." Jade spoke with urgency in her voice.
"Copy that, Sierra-4. It's your move. You need to go in and help him." Laswell replied.
"Way ahead of ya."
"Good luck." 
She scoffed, half-afraid and half-amused, taking aim with her rifle again as the guards were lowered to five. It was equipped with a suppressor, and taking out the dumbfounded guards outside was an easy fit. Their heads exploded upon impact with her bullets before collapsing to the ground, leaving the exterior unguarded. It was finally time for her to get inside.
To finally see him. 
'See you tomorrow, Lottie.'
Ghost had said before he softly kissed her on her cheek, promising to ice skate and eat Korean barbecue with her on the 15th of February, only for her to be left disappointed when she received a text from him the next morning that he’ll be going on a mission. This mission. 
Jade gritted her teeth at the memory, "I'm going in."
Rushing forward to the entrance of the building, She used her feet to silently press herself to the cement walls, the sound of gunshots was still going, albeit muffled. It’s like the sounds were coming from below. 
Basement.
Loading her HK416, Jade infiltrated the area. She perceived at least four armed people in the main room, all looking towards one particular hallway while muttering nervously in Spanish, which she immediately suspected was the way to where Ghost was. Throwing a stun grenade inside, five bodies quickly fell to the ground from her shots.
Suddenly, another group of armed narcos came out of another room from the northern side, opening fire towards Jade while she was reloading. A bullet went past her shoulder, the sound of it ripping the air around it left a ringing sound on her ear. She could do nothing but quickly hide herself from the incoming rain of bullets behind a wall. The narcos emptied their mags like their fingers were glued to the trigger. It seemed like they were not properly trained.
When they were reloading, Jade took another flashbang and threw the can to the middle of the group. Quickly canting her aim, her rifle couldn't pick a better time to be jammed, prompting her to curse and switch to the pistol on her hips on the right and picked up her karambit blade with her left. 
While the guards were stunned, it became muscle memory from there. Taking out three front-most people with the gun, using another as a shield from the incoming aimless fire, slitting the throat, and then  another Narco in the face with the butt of the gun before forcing her blade up to the under jaw.
Having cleared the main room, Jade huffed, quickly fixing the jammed rifle, and proceeded by silently going even further into the building. 
There was a long hallway with a number of doors along them. Jade smacked one door open, only to see white-coloured blocks of drugs on a table, and judging from the colour, cocaine must be the identity of the drug. She checked each and every one of the doors and found the same things. This building was a drug warehouse; a place where the drugs were stored before their export or distribution for sale. At first, she couldn’t discern for sure if this facility was indeed owned by the Las Almas drug cartel, but when she looked upon the notable stamp of El Sin Nombre’s skull, her doubt vanished.
Jade then moved further into the hallway and reached an intersection, where another set of gunshots and screams found her ears. Her legs brought her closer to the noise, finding a stairway downwards to the basement area. She quickly descended the stairs, finding herself surrounded by a dirty, poorly dug tunnel. Nevertheless, the ex-MI6 focused on her objective and ran to the source of the sound, when she finally reached the source of all the ruckus.
She turned from a corner with her aim up on an intersection, finding Ghost with his mask on, fighting four men at once, below them were the bodies of Narcos that he had killed prior. With a knife in one hand and his own pistol in the other, he stabbed a Narco in the neck and used his body as a shield from the incoming bullets. He then threw the knife straight at his assaulter’s face as Jade saw the other two taking aim at him. Upon reflex, Jade shot down the remaining Narcos, leaving Ghost the one standing alone in the tunnel seemingly dumbfounded at what just happened right in front of him.
With relief washing over her, Jade rushed towards Ghost, finding him still standing, still fighting, still alive. “Ghost!”
Only to be welcomed by the barrel of his gun aiming straight at her. 
Before Ghost could pull his trigger, Jade’s reflex kicked in and defeated her own sadness and sorrow of not seeing him for more than two months, and leapt to his side, grabbing the barrel of the firearm away from her. She then used her speed and abundance of energy to kick his ankle strong enough to push Ghost off his balance. He fell down to the ground with a loud thud on his back. Jade kicked the pistol out of his hand, before putting her whole weight to press on his entire figure. 
Still, Ghost was known for his superior combat ability and survival instinct. His hand found another knife on his hip holster, ready to stab the person who was holding him down.
“Simon!” 
The sound of his first name stopped his knife on its track, stopping right beside her neck – a few mere inches before blood could’ve been spilt. And just after he heard his name, he felt a soft touch on his uninjured cheek. 
Jade had opened his mask, revealing his face in the open. With how skilled and lethal Ghost was as an operator, she never thought she’d ever see Ghost in this state. His left cheek and eye were swollen, and there were traces of blood running down his temple. Even though black in colour, his clothes had darker spots where only blood could stain them. He had his plate carrier and his knife holsters on, but they too were stained with blood. 
And his eyes, it was filled with rampage, pure anger and wild want for blood. Yet it was unfocused, like a blind beast ready to get rid of anyone standing in his way. 
Imprisonment. Torture. 
“It’s me. It’s me. I’m here for you. You’re okay.” He blinked a number of times, and the red fog that had been clouding his vision disappeared, finding the face of the woman he loved right above him.
“You’re okay now. I’m here. Please, it’s over, Simon.” Her shaky voice continued, desperation filling her tone. Her green eyes were already brimming with tears threatening to fall down. “It’s over.” She breathed, hoping that somehow, her voice could bring him back.
“...Midget?” 
Hearing her nickname in his deep, hoarse voice was all the sign she needed. Ghost lowered his knife, and before he knew it, Jade dropped down to hug Ghost tightly, burying her face in his shoulders. She sobbed into the side of her neck, grasping his clothes with her fingers in relief. Finally, finally, he’s back in her arms. After days of anxious and dark thoughts about losing the only man she’s ever allowed herself to love, he’s finally here, in her arms.
However, that relief was short-lived as Ghost grabbed her shoulders and lifted her smaller figure away from him. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOIN’ HERE?!” 
That response startled her, “WH– I’M HERE TO SAVE YOU, YOU BIG BOZO!”
“YOU SHOULD NOT BE HERE!”
Jade then wrestled her way out of Ghost’s weak hands, “YOU WENT MIA FOR DAYS!”
“FUCKIN’ HELL–” Trying to sit up abruptly turned out to be a big mistake as a sharp pain burst out from his side, making him grunt out loud. Noticing this, Jade held him up before he fell back down to the floor. She then glanced to his side, and there, she caught sight of a fresh graze wound on his side. Observing him further, she found a crudely tied, blood-stained bandage wrapped around his right shoulder. Judging by the sight of it, this might be the lucky shot that had subdued Ghost and made the Narcos manage to capture him. 
Nevertheless, they needed to get out of this building before reinforcements arrived. Seeing the condition he was in, he'll need some assistance to even stand now. fighting off the reinforcement would be impossible. “This warehouse – where’s the supervisor?”
“I gutted him.” He growled, hatred filling his voice. She could easily deduce that the supervisor was the one who had been inflicting these wounds to him.
And so, she used all her strength to lift and help Ghost stand up. "Can you walk?" 
"I can–" he stumbled to the wall, using his pained arms to support himself up. "Fuck…" It had been four days since he went MIA. That meant four days of badly treated wounds, blood spilling from the tortures, and no food. Still, he managed to escape and fight his way out, leaving dead bodies as his footsteps.
Such mental fortitude was something to be feared indeed.
"Alright, come 'ere, Big Man." Jade sneaked her hand behind his back and circled his arm around her shoulder before assisting him to quickly walk out of the damned warehouse. To hell with these drugs and the people inside. 
"Watcher-1, this is Sierra-4.” Pressing the PTT, Jade contacted the CIA. “I've secured Bravo 0-7. I repeat, Bravo 0-7 is secured."
—------
Prior to arriving at the warehouse, Jade had located a rickety old cabin inside the forest. It was placed near a river far away from the warehouse. Though it’s not fully hidden, it worked well as a resting place for the night as it was pretty deep inside the forest, and of course, because there’s no way that the man that she was currently holding up could walk all the way to the nearby city. 
Stepping into the wooden floors of the cabin, Jade glanced to the side where she found a single bed placed on the edge of the room. “There’s a bed there. Let’s get you down.” Straining her voice from holding Ghost’s weight for the entire 30-minute walk there, she finally sat Ghost down on the bed before he collapsed to his back, panting heavily and clearly out of fuel.
“Fuck… I’m beat.” He managed to breathe out with his sore voice.
“Here, drink some water. Drink all of it since we have a river in front.” Jade gave her own canteen to him, to which he chugged down to the last drop while still lying down. 
In the meantime, Jade tinkered with her radio, pressing down on her PTT to contact Laswell.
“Watcher-1 this is Sierra-4 do you copy?” 
Not long, the radio buzzed, “Sierra-4 this is Watcher-1, send traffic.” 
“We’re currently holed up in an old cabin near a river about four clicks northwest of the warehouse. His radio was destroyed by a bullet, so that might be why his comms suddenly disappeared.”
A loud sigh of relief could be heard on the radio, “That’s great news. How is he looking?” 
She took a glance at Ghost, who was still laying back while covering his eyes with the back of his hand. “Beat. But alive. Very lean. Injuries and wounds all over. He’d worn his mask when I found him, but…” A thought had been weighing on her mind the whole way they walked to the cabin. “If he got captured, then the first thing the Narcos did was obviously to take off his mask. Is his identity compromised now?”
“No. It’s still the same as ever. Even if they saw his face - as long as Ghost didn’t give out his name - there’s no record of his face anywhere. Every earlier visual identity had also been redacted.” Jade raised her eyebrows. So that’s how he maintained his anonymity all this time. 
“That sounds like him. Anyway, we’re pretty deep in the woods. Sun’s going down, and the nearest town is around 15 kilos from here. I think we need to lay low for a while.” 
“Copy that. I’ll see what I can do for your exfil, I’ll be in touch. You guys should rest for a while.” Laswell finally said, a tone of calm in her voice. “And thank you so much, Jade. I’m sorry for dragging you back again.”
Jade could only scoff at that. “It’s fine. Besides, if you’d sent out anyone else to find him… I’d be a wee~ bit offended.” 
“Oh? Is this what I think it is?” She could clearly hear the wide smile on the CIA agent’s face.
“I’m gonna go patch the big man up now. Sierra-4 out.” Finally finishing her report with Laswell’s chuckle as the last thing she heard, Jade sighed, watching the strong and steady flow of the river below. It was freezing, but at least they had shelter. Now all she needed to do was keep Ghost alive and comfortable while keeping tabs with Laswell.
"Lottie, why are you here."
Ghost’s strained voice pulled Jade’s attention from the wound that she was currently treating on his shoulder. That crudely-tied bandage was not replaced at all after his capture and left a terrible-looking injury, which by the look of it, was obviously infected that when she’d pulled it, the skin that already tried to heal got pulled along with it.
"What? I thought I said to you already. Your radio cut off abruptly, so Laswell sent me out to find you." Jade answered, still dabbing cotton onto the lacerated skin caused by the bullet.
"Fuckin' hell…" 
That tone irked her. "You sound like you don't want me here."
"That's right! I do NOT want you here!" Ghost yelled to her, making her lean back on the chair she was sitting on and stopped what she was doing. His angered face was a new sight for her.
"What?! Are you telling me to just stay back while I know you were captured?!"
“Laswell knew for a fact that this was not my first time going MIA. She did not have to tell you about it because as you could see, I got out on my own.” He told her harshly, that tone starting to aggravate her.
“You were missing! Can’t you see that I was worried for you?!” Jade countered, trying to keep her composure while he palmed his face in visible frustration, “More than two months you’ve been gone for a mission alone, and now that I finally have news about you, I was told that your radio cut off with gunshots!” 
“You should’ve just stayed home and get on with your days. I never asked for you to come here.” Gravely he told her as he saw Jade’s eyes start to turn sombre. Those words came out of his mouth on their own.
Deep inside, Ghost knew what was coming – He needed to stop himself.
“I found you battered and bruised, Simon! You can’t just expect me to–”
"I don't need you to save me!”  He raised his voice harshly, shocking her. 
No. That was not what he wanted to say. 
He knew; he truly knew it was the opposite. 
He didn't want her to get hurt.
"I don't need you!” 
Her face was everything he needed to know that he fucked up. Ghost saw her face turn to dread like her heart just got stabbed a thousand times over, that after everything she did, after everything she felt – it was only for him to tell her those words. 
For a moment the only thing they heard was the pouring rain outside. 
Before Ghost saw the woman in front of him grit her teeth, seeming like she chose to not believe what he just said.
“There were at least a dozen armed guards outside! What did you think you could do with those wounds?!" It was her turn to raise her voice, “If I hadn't been there to find you, what could you do with a gun an a knife?!"
It was the last thing that snapped him. Ghost ignored all the pain in his arms to grab onto her shoulders, 
“I CAN’T LOSE YOU!” 
And just like that, Jade gasped as she blinked. His grasp on her shoulder felt firm yet shaky, and she couldn’t tell if it was because of the searing pain or from the emotion he felt, as this is the first time she saw Ghost with that expression. Maskless, bruises all over, bloodshot eyes brimming with tears, and a face that had desperation and sorrow painted all over it.
He started with a low voice, but the emotions in his words still remained, “You’ve left this life for a reason, Lottie. And for a good one. Think of your mother, your father, your friends, who love you and care for you! What if you get hurt alone inside this fucking rainforest?! What if you die, huh?! What do I say to your parents?!"
"What if you die?!" Jade countered, trying to make sense of his words.
"I don't fucking care if I die!"
"You say that as if no one is waiting for you to come home! I DO!” Jade grabbed both of his hands from her shoulders, gathering them with her own. ”I love you!"
Her action surprised Ghost, but more than anything, the last three words felt like an epiphany. 
"You think Kate should've just shut up about it and left me in the dark?! Well, that's just fucking stupid, Ghost. If you think that you did this for me, then you're wrong!” She shouted bitterly, her scowl taking over her face in such a way that it looked out of place, tears already brimming in her eyes. 
"You think I didn't know that your missions are dangerous? I know that! That's why I can't just stand back while I know I have the full capability to find you! If it means that I can finally have you back, then to hell with my retirement! Great, now I'm crying!" All that stress and frustration of finding him these last four days came out of her in the form of tears streaming down her cheek. The thought of finding him beaten up, all bloody, or even worse, lifeless on the ground had been eating her mind. Nevertheless, she moved her body to find him, clinging to a desperate hope that he was still alive somehow. 
Ghost could only watch as Jade buried her face in her palms, her sobs muffled by her hands. "We had a date, Simon…" That sentence felt like a thousand knives impaling his heart. He remembered being very excited that early morning, anticipating the ‘date’ with her. He remembered himself being so happy and delighted for the date, heck, he even fucking looked through his wardrobe to find the best fit for the occassion, only to be left feeling empty when he suddenly got a call to go on a mission. He could still recall how shaky his hands were when texting Jade that he couldn’t make it for the date.
"I was waiting for it. It's my first date, ever. So I'm sorry if I'm a little excited to see you, alright?" Jade raised her head to face him again, revealing her messy hair, red eyes, and cheeks smeared by tears. “I can’t lose you too."
Ghost didn't know if it was because of his courage or something else, but he moved his hand and put it right above hers, gently enveloping her hands. "I don't want you to get hurt, especially because of me." He started, looking softly into her eyes, "I'm sorry." 
Hearing that broke something in him, as for once in his life, someone waited for him to come home. Someone wanted him to be fine, and it felt… foreign.
Now, that person was sitting before him. The woman he loved, and the one who loved him back, more than he deserved. 
The fact that Ghost initiated the touch made butterflies fly wildly inside her stomach. The temperature of his skin was quite alarming though, so she kept that in mind. "Well thank you, for your consideration, but please,” Jade lifted her arm to wipe her face from the tears aggressively, sniffing her nose. “I can't have you just promise me a date one day and then disappear the next. I won't let you ghost me." Her lips pouted in a way that made him chuckle. He might go crazy if she kept doing this. "If it means finding you, then getting hurt is nothing. If you went MIA again, then I will go out and find you again."
Ghost still felt the pain all over his body, that argument took all the spare energy that he got. Meanwhile, Jade took the sewing kit from the side table, getting them ready to close Ghost's laceration. 
"Also, put some credit on my name, alright? You know I can take care of myself, Ghost." Jade muttered while taking the forceps.
"I almost stabbed you though." He replied.
"Ah." That only occurred to her now. When he was fighting off the Narcos, he thought she was an enemy and launched a knife straight to her neck. "You were in full survival mode since the whole warehouse was trying to kill you. I understand." 
"Shit… what would I say to your parents if I'd killed you?" 
"Hmmm. 'Sorry, Sir, Ma'am. I killed your daughter by accident.’, and then your body would never be seen ever again, perhaps."
That got a light laugh out of him, "We're a crazy lot aren't we?"
"Damn right we are."
There was barely any alcohol to hold the pain as Jade sutured his wounds close, and even though she had mastered the medical suturing techniques, the searing pain was going to be there to stay.
All the while her hands work, she started again, "What did they do to you?"
Ghost flinched at the question. She really hoped it wasn't something too bad. From her observations, he was badly injured on the left side, which meant he must've been punched and kicked quite a lot by the Narcos. The right side had way fewer injuries, but the little lacerations on his head looked like something sharp.
He took a deep breath, "After they caught me, I was brought to the basement and they tied my hands on my back to a pole with a rope. My feet as well. They interrogated me about who I am and my ties with Alejandro Vargas. Of course I shut my mouth the entire time."
Jade still looked at him, sending him a signal that it was not was she was asking about. Ghost sighed, before answering again, "It wasn't much, just punches and kicks, splashed water on me. The leader was a huge twat though. He smashed a bottle of alcohol on my head." Ah. There's the answer to her questions.
"And I'm assuming you used the shards to cut the ropes to escape?" She inquired, her hands still working.
"Yeah."
"...You okay?"
He always hated the question, but coming from her, it felt different. Ghost knew how she had experienced the same things before considering they work on similar grounds. And if he wanted to be honest on the answer, she won't get much. "I'm mostly annoyed at their leader the whole time. Just thinking of how to get out of there." Ghost finally answered, "I've experienced far worse. If anything, they lacked creativity."
Jade sighed, not the worst answer. Either he was hiding the mental trauma or he's just that dulled to tortures. From the outside he looked fine and he acted like this was just another business day, but she could never guess what's going on inside his mind.
That last sentence made her chuckle though. "What do you think they should've done to make you speak?"
Ghost looked like he really considered it, "...To make me speak? No idea. Probably your favourite method."
"My method?" She raised her eyebrows.
"Nail-pulling."
"I--" Oh good heavens, he'd set 'nail-pulling' as her favoured method of tortures. "Okay, if and only if you have the right tools, alright."
He let out a chuckle, prompting her to laugh as well as she finished the suture on his wounds.
—---
Cleaning up Ghost's injuries was relatively easy, as he didn't have any lethal wounds that required urgent care and deep medical knowledge. Still, watching him hiss and grunt as she sewed his lacerations was hard to do. She kept mumbling soft "Sorry, sorry." to him in a vain attempt to soothe his pain. At some point, it appeared that Ghost was completely out of fuel and dozed off sitting up while she was cleaning his skin from the blood and dirt. Closing his wounds was only the first step of first-aid care because what came after could be harder to treat since he had that infected wound on his shoulder. 
He hadn't eaten in days, was completely out of energy, had a significant blood loss, bruises all over his body, and that infected wound had finally shown its damned effect: fever. 
Jade sighed. As much as he needed the rest, he needed to eat. She'd brought some antibiotic meds, but in order to have them he had to eat first. Her legs brought her to the cabinet near the end of the bed, fortunately finding a good clean sheet of the blanket. Though, it wasn't thick enough for her liking, plus it was pretty small in size and would barely cover his large frame. Beggars can’t be choosers, so she draped the cloth onto his shoulders and his legs, making sure his figure was covered.
Opening her backpack, Jade fished out two sets of MREs, along with a ration heater. With his wounds finally dressed up and he's sleeping soundly, she walked out of the cabin to the riverside, filling her canteen with fresh river water. Pouring the water into the ration heater along with the MREs inside, Jade walked back to the doorway to avoid the rain, waiting patiently as she wiped the rainwater off of her skin.
While she was letting the heating pack do its job, she sat back on the wooden floor, slowly untying her braids that had gone messy from the actions and the rain. Fully getting the braids undone, her hair finally became loose completely, falling on her shoulders, back, and chest in the most chaotic way possible that Jade had to run her hands through her thick hair to detangle the mess. 
"Lottie?"
Ghost's weak voice startled her, making her turn around and saw the man himself standing right behind her, blanket around his shoulders. “Ghost?! What– you should’ve just slept! You can’t stand just yet–” 
“Relax,” He said softly, sitting down beside her with visible struggle. “This isn’t my first rodeo. I won’t die from moving 10 steps.” 
Seeing how he coughed wetly made her pout in disagreement. She still thought he needed to stay in bed. “How are you feeling though?”
"...like death.” 
“I thought so. Your temp was concerning. May I touch your forehead? I have to feel your temp." Ghost nodded, still, her soft touch on his forehead and neck caught him off guard, as she stared at him trying to concentrate on measuring the heat of his skin. “You’re burning up! Dammit.” Jade exclaimed upon feeling the rise of his fever, it baffled her how he still had the energy to stand up with all those wounds. 
Out of nowhere, Ghost felt pressure on his chest, before realizing that it was Jade pressing her ears to his thorax. 
He froze right there and there, turning into stone like Medusa just stared him down. Ghost sucked his teeth and looked up to hold in his blush. He knew a hundred per cent that she was checking his breathing for that terrible wet cough he let out, but his brain had turned into a mush, his heart beating so fast like he just ran a fucking marathon. She definitely could hear his racing heartbeat, but no matter how much he tried to tell his heart to stop fucking beating like there's a whole damned carnival inside his chest, it was proven futile.
“Take a deep breath.” Her voice was the only thing that snapped him out of his thoughts, doing what she told him to do. 
After hearing the air going in and out of his lungs a number of times, Jade finally leaned back again. “Yup. I’m no medic, but I can hear pneumonia coming when I hear one. You need to go back to bed.” She stood up and tried to pull him up, which was to no avail as he was still dumbfounded on the event that just happened. "The sun's setting down and the rain won't stop anytime soon. It'll get colder than this."
“I just got here–”’
“Back. To. Bed.” 
Has she always been this demanding? He never liked being told what to do when it's not from someone of higher rank, but he could surely get used to this one. Ghost couldn't help the small smile on the corner of his lips as he stood up, walking towards the hard bed slowly before sitting down again. She gathered the steaming rations on her hands and sat back on the chair, his heart swole in a way he never thought it could. 
"I brought chicken sausage and… pasta bolognese. You can choose whatever and I'll take the other one." Jade said, opening the lids to let the heat out while waiting for Ghost's answer, but when he didn't say anything, only gazing at the foods, a thought clicked in her mind. "Or or or, you can have both of them, if you want. I'm sure you're starving."
"...What about you?" Yep, she guessed right. He wanted both of them. Big man needed a big meal. 
"Don't worry about me. You haven't eaten in days. I already had mine before coming to the facility, so I'm good, I promise."
A gulp, "Can I have both?"
"Sure."
----------
He’s back under that suffocating, smothering coffin under the ground. Trapped alone in the dark, he felt his heart beat racing, pounding against his chest that he could hear it on his ears. 
He couldn’t breathe. 
He’s afraid. 
Ghost tried to bang his fist against the roof, but it wouldn’t budge. Even until his arms were bruised, until blood came out, he felt that the earth would swallow him whole any second, before Ghost felt the wooden base of the coffin disappear into dust, which made his body fall into a deep, bottomless void, getting farther and farther from the coffin.
Just as he thought that he’d forever fall without end, his back hit the ground with a great force, waking him up from his nightmare. Ghost opened his eyes with a jolt of his entire body, breathing fast and laboured as if he’d just gained back his ability to take air in. 
"Hey." 
The familiar voice called to him, prompting the man to focus his blurred vision, finding Jade. He’s finally awake enough to register that this is no longer inside the coffin where he was buried alive, but inside a wooden cabin deep in a rainforest. The rain still falling outside, the sun long gone, only the moon to accompany them. His surroundings were dark, save for the soft yellow lighting from a portable bonfire on the bedside table. Ghost was laying on his side facing her, nothing to support his head from the absence of pillows. 
He then saw that his hand was grabbing Jade’s wrist in a death grip, almost shaking. She looked like she was startled by the sudden grip of her wrist when she'd just been wiping the sweat off his face with a handkerchief, but she didn’t show any sign of panic or daze, just calmness inside her eyes. "Nightmare?" 
Ghost released his grip and answered with an alarming wet cough, his breathing starting to sound difficult, before weakly muttering, "Why aren't you asleep?" 
"You can have the bed, I'll sleep on the floor–" He tried to wake up before being pushed down back to the bed on his side. 
"Your fever got worse, you were sweating, and shivering as well. That infected wound on your shoulder added to the problem." Ghost might not be in his best condition, but he could hear her worry as clear as day.
She looked messy with the very long red locks of hers undone, contrasting with her usual tidy and orderly appearance. And to be frank, she’d had that worried tone since the second she found him in the warehouse, since she heard that he was missing, and probably since the day he texted her that he’d had to go on a mission. 
"That is total nonsense! I'm not the one who's beaten up right now!” The logic must have left him because of the fever. Did he really want to sleep on the hard wooden floor with those bruises all over his body?! 
The usual Ghost would retort some sarcasm towards her, but all he did right now was to stare at her. Jade would've thought that he's completely out of it from the illness, until he mumbled,
"...You should let your hair down more often."
"...wHaT?” her voice cracked at his words. Why was he talking about her hair all of a sudden?
A light cough, “I said you should let your hair down more.”
“Wh– Why?" She chuckled, half amused and half confused. "Look at them. My hair's a mess if I let it down. It's really hard to take care of, especially in the wind. Let it touch the rain, and air drying it is basically a recipe for disaster." The ginger said while rubbing her heavily tangled hair. She had intended to brush them when Ghost was asleep earlier, but she must admit that she didn’t have the energy to do it. Days of tracking and helping him had taken more of her than she’d expected.
"That's precisely why." Ghost started, still eyeing her face softly.
"...What do you mean?"
"Beautiful.” He confessed, "You're beautiful when your hair's a mess, so let it down."
A pause as he tried to rack up an answer in his jumbled brain. "It's not sudden. I've always liked it." 
The sentence baffled, perplexed, and shocked her. Why did he say that? Why was he doing this?? What kind of dream or nightmare did he have?? Jade’s jaw dropped to the floor, her face turned almost as red as her hair because of that particular sentence. Ghost had never been one for talking, let alone compliments. That was the normal, healthy Ghost, then. So if he's on the opposite condition…
"I– What's with the sudden flattery??"
No one ever complimented her hair. Since she was a baby, a child, a kid in the orphanage, she kept being skipped by potential parents because of her striking red hair. 
Jade recalled how she would see a couple shake their heads as they whispered among each other, quickly looking at the other orphans. Her brothers and sisters come in and go to their new parents, while she stayed. And for that reason, she grew to dislike – hate her hair, only until recently did she ever see a good in them.
And now, this man just admitted that he had always liked her hair since the day he met her, albeit… in a feverish, delirious state?
"T-thank you for saying that, Simon." Finally finding the courage to react, Jade continued, "but anyway, how are you feeling? Dizzy? Nauseous?"
"...cold." Ghost mumbled.
For sure that thin blanket would be doing anything in the cold rain. There was no more piece of clothing or any blankets left inside the house to use. She had started a little portable bonfire on the bedside table to give the room some form of luminescence as the sun was long gone, but it wouldn’t be enough to stop his shiverings. 
Holding his eyes open was already a heavy task for him, but this cold felt like a thousand knives on his skin. He wanted to sleep, God, he wanted to sleep. He’s exhausted, except getting trapped in that coffin and buried alive inside that dream was the last thing he wanted to experience right now. Getting air into his lungs was also a burden to his chest. Even with the painkillers and antibiotic Jade had given him, his wounds hurt all over. 
However, this is nothing. 
Ghost had experienced this before, far, far worse than this, and he was still alive. He’ll tank through the cold, he could endure any pain. 
It’s the same as ever. 
Nothing’s different.
Had he ever heard that kind of sentence before?
"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"
Jade softly muttered to him, looking at him not with a look of pity, but of compassion and willingness to help. 
"Do you mind a– um… A cuddle?” The woman sitting beside his bed said nervously, prompting him to look at her face. "Shared body temperature. I suppose it's effective in this situation."
He took that back.
It's different now.
“...No.” He replied shortly.
"Really?”
“Yeah.”
“O-okay! The bed’s small, can you face the other way?” She asked, to which he nodded before he used all the energy he had left in his body to lie on his other side. With heavy clumsiness, he finally faced the wooden wall. The light of the moon shone through the window, hitting his face softly. Not long, he felt a dip on the other side of the bed. Jade had climbed on the bed and fixed the thin blanket to cover his figure properly. Ghost could feel her presence on his back, looming behind him. He didn’t know what to do, obviously. He never really shared a bed with anyone in a long time, let alone a woman. It’s almost pathetic. 
“Can I… wrap my arm around you?” Jade asked hesitantly to the back of his head. “I–I don’t mean anything weird, just to warm you up! Like I said I love you and all – and I do mean that – but in case you’re not comfortable with me hugging you I will totally understand and—”
“I said I don’t mind it.” Ghost cut her off before she could blabber more.
“Okay… I’ll just. Put my left arm above you. Like this.” Lifting her arm, she then gently put her wrist on his shoulder, just barely beyond his side line. “This okay?”
“...Hm.” She’s pressed to him. She’s affirmatively pressed to his back. Her warmth instantly traveled to his entire figure, pleasantly so. 
“Good. That’s really great, yeah. Your shoulder is really high, wow." He couldn’t say anything to that. Is that a compliment? “While we’re at it, lift your head up a little bit.” 
Even though it confused him, he did what she told, and an arm sneaked its way past his cheek and placed it firmly there, and before he could ask her what was she trying to do, he got his answer. “I’m your pillow.” 
Ghost let out a chuckle at her retort, and to be honest, he didn’t have any strength left to refuse the offer. His neck hurt and his head felt dizzy without a pillow, so he dropped his head right then and there on Jade’s bicep, and what she didn’t expect was the fact that he deliberately scooted back even further, finally clinging to her figure – a relaxed huff leaving him.
And just like that, Jade’s assumption that Ghost didn’t like hugs went down the bloody drain. She had to bite her lips in order to hold in the scream inside her. God, he must’ve felt her racing heartbeat on his back. He sounded like a literal puppy with that last huff. If she has a third arm she would’ve loved to pet his hair.
------
The rain hadn’t stopped since they arrived at the cabin. The cold seeped through the woods, piercing through Jade’s skin as she made Ghost have the blanket. Other than that, the woman couldn’t deny the soreness on her arm as his head was pretty heavy. She didn’t mind it at all though, as long as he was comfortable, a sore arm was nothing compared to what he must be feeling.
It’s been about an hour since she climbed the bed to cuddle with him. Jade could really tell a lot about his condition from this distance. He’s really hot to the touch, his shoulders moved up and down in a quite fast pace. Still, it seemed that the shared body temperature worked as his shivers stopped. Was he already asleep?
Jade moved the hand that was on his shoulder to the front of his face – waving it up and down.
"I'm still up." His deep voice startled her.
Shit. He’s still awake. "S– Sorry. Just checking."
Meanwhile Jade was waiting for him to sleep, Ghost couldn’t even bring himself to sleep, for fuck’s sake. And not because of the nightmare, but because of her presence on his back was all he could think about. He felt relaxed, but not relaxed at the same time. It’s like his entire being felt safe in her arms and presence, yet his mind thought that he didn’t deserve this. Because she had searched for him, she had to leave her home, family, and friends again, and even though Jade had told him that she would always go and find him – and the things he said to her – he still felt like an arse. 
"Lottie."
Jade noticed the name, prompting her to blink. "Mm? You okay?"
“Thank you... for saving me. And about what I said,” A brief pause, “I've hurt you. I'm sorry."
She stayed silent, looking at the back of his head. Ghost was always a blunt person, and it wasn't the first hurtful thing that he'd said to her. Calling her a midget was one thing, but saying that he didn't need her?
She knew he was in immense pain and under heavy mental duress from the imprisonment, but if what he said was true…
"Did you mean it? What you said?" Jade finally replied back, questioning him about the words he'd said. She wanted to know if he really mean what he said. She needed to know.
It took a few seconds for Ghost to answer, seeming like he was preparing himself. "No. Quite the opposite."
Hearing those words from him felt like a earning medal, prompting a smile coming from her lips. "Thank you, Simon. For staying alive.” 
“Will you forgive me?”
“I forgive you, because..." Jade lightly sighed behind him, "I need you too.''
And he thought he had a cold heart. That one simple sentence coming out from the one person he allowed himself to love after such a long, long time, made his heart - no, his entire being melt right then and there, in her arms.
A mosquito decided to land on Jade’s hand, making her sway the bug away. “Oof, there’s some bugs here.” 
"...What's the bugs' favourite band?"
Oh great heavens. A pun at a time like this? "...what is it?"
"Bee Gees." 
"Oh that's goooood." She must admit that his timing was immaculate. "You ever watch Bee Movie though?"
"...Only bee I know in movies is Bumblebee in Transformers." 
"Yeah well. Suits you I guess. And good for you for being oblivious about the Bee Movie."
"What kind of movie is that?" He asked.
"A movie. About bees suing humans."
"The fuck?"
"Yea yea yea we'll watch it when we get home. Now sleep." Jade chuckled. "Good night, Beanpole."
"Goodnight, Midget."
"I'm right here if you need me."
*****
"I know."
It's finally here!! To be continued in Part 2!
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scribblesofagoonerr · 1 month ago
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new girlfriend drama | buddy & monkey: double the trouble
summary: leah finally introduces her new girlfriend, elle, to buddy and monkey
double the trouble masterlist
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The buzz of the stadium surrounded you as you waited inside the tunnel,  lined up with the rest of the team - Leah was standing at the front, the Captain's armband proudly displayed around her arm in the absence of Kim.
It was matchday, and you were hyped.
You were focused, determined and ready to win.
And what's better? You were playing against Aston Villa, meaning you were going head to head with Jordan.
"Boo!" You crept up behind the smaller woman, wrapping your arm around her shoulder, "Happy birthday, Mama!"
"Thanks, little one," Jordan smiled, reaching up to stand on her tiptoes since you had that slight advantage of tallness over her as she pressed a kiss to the top of your head, "Good luck out there, yeah? Don't go scoring on me now!"
"Pfft, as if," You waved her off, reluctant to wipe the smirk on your face, "Have you seen Buddy yet? I know she wanted to give you her present!"
"Not yet, but I'm sure I'll catch up with her after the game," Jordan replied, still smiling.
You felt a nudge on your shoulder as your eyes darted round to meet Leah's, "Are you ready, my girl? You've got this, stay sharp, yeah?"
"I always do!" You grinned back, a bit too confident for your own good.
"Don't get too cocky now. We could win," Jordan warned, her tone amused.
"We will see," Leah chuckled, shaking her head in amusement, "Good luck, and happy birthday, Jord!" She wished her ex-girlfriend belated birthday wishes.
"Yeah, don't cry when I nutmeg you!" You couldn't help but chip in cheekily, just as the familiar beat kicked in to the sound of 'London's calling' and you began to walk out, proud to the loud roar of the fans around the stadium.
This was your game, no question.
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After the game, you were drenched, your body aching from the torrential rain that hadn't let up the entire 90 minutes. The only thing you wanted right now was to get changed, find warmth and collapse in bed.
But Leah had other plans, apparently.
"When you're done getting changed, I want you to come with me. I've got someone for you to meet," The blonde said, catching you in the midst of getting ready in the dressing room after the victory celebration.
You couldn't resist the groan that slipped out your mouth, "Seriously?"
"Yes," Leah replied, stifling a smile as she shook her head, "I really think you'll like her. Just hurry up and get dressed, okay?"
"Urgh," You grumbled, not in the mood for introductions at all.
You were soaked to the bone from playing in the miserable British weather for the whole match, and the last thing you wanted to do right now was to meet somebody.
That did not sit well with you.
"Why? I'm coooold!" You didn't hesitate to complain at all, you were making it very well known that you weren't in the mood to meet anybody.
Regardless of whoever they might be.
"Well you won't be that cold if you hurry up and get changed," Leah retorted, collecting all of her own things together to get ready to leave, "Come on, hurry up."
"Urgh, what's with all the fuss?" You huffed in disagreement.
You were soon to find out what all the fuss was about - Leah wanted you to meet her new girlfriend, which you had mixed feelings about.
You definitely found it weird when Leah started seeing someone new. You were briefly aware of this new girlfriend, Elle, you knew she was someone special to Leah - but you never actually met her, even during pre-season in America or that unforgettable trip to Nashville. 
You knew it was bound to happen one day, and apparently today was the infamous day to meet Elle Smith, otherwise known as Miss USA.
For as long as you can always remember since you moved in with Leah and Jordan, it had always been the two of them, and they were a team within a team, both on and off the pitch - well until Jordan ended up moving to Aston Villa, but that's a different story.
Of course you knew both Leah and Jordan would find different partners, but that didn't mean you had to like it.
You definitely did not.
"Quit looking so grumpy," Leah nudged your shoulder.
"I don't want to meet her," You complained for what felt like the hundredth time, as you waited for the lift to take you upstairs where you were about to finally meet the woman that Leah had been seeing for quite some time now, "I'm cold, I'm tired. I just want to go home and go to bed. That's it, I don't want to meet Elle."
You were really in a bad mood after the game, although you had won with a 4 nil victory, it had poured down with rain throughout the whole game and as a result, you now felt completely miserable.
You also felt pretty bad about the loss for Jordan and her team, especially since the fixture was on her birthday as well.
It was a tough loss for her, and she didn’t waste any time hanging around either.
It was definitely not a good idea for Leah to decide to introduce you to her new girlfriend now of all times while you felt so grumpy.
"Why not? I really think you might like her," Leah replied, her tone light but firm.
"Yeah, well, I don't... " You shot back, pouting, "Why do I' gotta meet her?"
Leah exhaled a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose, "Would you stop? Look, I really like Elle, and I'm happy. So, now I just want you girls to finally meet her, okay?"
"Whatever," You muttered, but the tension was still there.
"Monkey, stop," Leah chastised, knowing there was people around, "There's people around here still." She reminded you with a knowing look, but it still didn't stop you from sulking.
"I wouldn't be complaining so much if you weren't forcing me to meet her," Your retorted, voice full of bratty annoyance.
"You make it sound like it's such a terrible thing," Leah spoke aloud, exhaling a deep sigh as her patience was wearing thin, "I really want you girls to meet Elle, I think you'll like her." She added.
"She can't replace Jordan," You muttered, still not convinced.
"I wouldn't ever dream of that happening, my girl," Leah said, her voice soft but serious, as if to reassure you.
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"This lift is taking forever!" You complained as you felt like the lift was taking forever to reach the top.
Leah chuckled, shaking her head as she responded to a text on her phone, "Anything else you want to complain about today?" She teased.
"Well... Now that you mention it--" You begin to speak, caught off guard by the lift door opening and you're met with your favourite little buddy, "Buddy!" You shout, your grumpiness quickly overturned seeing the three year old.
"Monks'!" The said three year old plows into your legs, her eyes wide with excitement as she wraps both her arms around you, "Miss 'ou soooo much!" She told you, dramatically.
"I missed you soooo much too!" You retorted, playfully as you ruffled her hair.
Buddy's attention didn't last long on you though as she spotted Leah, "Mummy!" Not hesitating to run over to her and launch herself on her.
"Oft, there's my little bubba!" Leah crouches down to meet her, just in time for a bear hug that leaves her grinning, "Hiya! Did you watch all of the game?"
"Uh huh! I' got 'cited when Monks' scored!" Buddy rambled, her voice full of excitement.
"You saw that? I made sure to score just for you!" You joked, grinning from ear to ear.
Buddy continued to beam a wide smile, her excitement tangible, "Ou' score good goal, Monks'!" 
"Well done today sweetheart. Very impressive!" Amanda chimed in, proud.
"I try my best," You waved off the praise with a smile, still not entirely used to it.
Leah straightened up and motioned to Elle, who stood a little further back to come a bit closer, "Right girls, come here. I'd like for you to both meet someone very important too me, okay?"
"Who are 'ou?" Buddy questions, her voice full of innocent curiosity.
"Girls, this is Elle, and she's mummy's special friend," Leah carefully introduced her to you both, making sure that Buddy was able to understand her words, "Do you think you can say hi?" She asked, guiding you both forward.
"Hi. I' Buddy!" Buddy of course was eager to meet her, waving enthusiastically.
"Hi there, Buddy! It's very nice to meet you," Elle crouches down to Buddy's level with a kind smile on her face, "And you must be Monkey?"
You nod faintly, shoving your heads in your trouser pockets, "Alright."
"Don't mind Monkey," Leah quickly added, "She's not very keen on meeting new people. Don't take it personally."
"I don't like you, so listen 'ere, yeah?" You started, channeling all your gangster-watching vibes  going through a current phase of watching the Kray Twins, the two famous London gangsters, "You hurt me' mum, and I know exactly where to hide bodies. So, don't even think about it, or you should learn to sleep with one eye open. Got it?"
Elle's face flickered with confusion, her eyes darting between you and Leah, unsure what to make of the threat, "Uh, right. Gotcha," She muttered, clearly thrown off by the whole interaction.
Leah rolled her eyes, quickly covering your mouth with her hand, "Ignore her, she's going through a phase right now," She told Elle, shooting you  a stern look, "You be quiet, you are still scared to sleep without the light on fifty percent of the time. You're not hard at all, so zip it."
You go wide-eyed, your cheeks burn as the tough act completely falls apart.
You go to open your mouth in protest, however it doesn't turn out the way you planned, "Don't even think about it," Leah warned you with a pointed finger.
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"Rooooar!"  Buddy's eccentric voice was loud throughout the whole restaurant, where you'd been forced to come after the game, "Elle! Do 'ou like dino'daurs?" She was eager to know, forcefully trying to shove the plastic dinosaur into Elle's own hand.
"Are you kidding? You bet I do!" Elle agreed, accepting the sticky covered dinosaur out of Buddy's grasp since the three year old attempted to dunk it directly in the chocolate sauce of her ice cream sundae, "Do you have a favourite one that you like?"
"Uh huh! I 'ove my dino'daurs!" Buddy nodded, smiling from ear to ear as she animatedly chatted to Elle all about the different dinosaurs she had, which was the best out of them, "Steg'saurus da' bestest!"
Unlike Buddy, you still hadn't easily been convinced as you sat there, your arms crossed over your chest as you didn't hold back the eye roll as you watched Buddy and Elle interact with each other. Leah sat across from them, smiling fondly at the two, but you couldn't help but feel a little left out of the joy.
You weren't keen to be here at all.
You slumped in your seat, barely glancing up from your phone as you fiddled with it, pretending to not care about anything happening around you. The restaurant was bustling with energy, people talking, laughing, but you just couldn't seem to get into it.
Leah immediately clocked your reluctance to join in on the conversation, "Cheer up my girl."
"Why? I don't want to be here!" You grumbled, making it very well known about your feelings for being in the restaurant at that current moment.
Leah exhaled a sigh, sending you a knowing look, "I know you might not, but can you at least pretend like you're having fun?"
"But I'm not though..." You don't sugar-coat your words, you definitely don't want to be here, and you're not about to act like you do.
"We'll be going home in a bit," Leah told you, resisting the urge to roll her own eyes as she caught sight of you scrunching your face up in further protest,"You know, if you continue to screw your face up like that then it might stick like it,  eh?"
"Ha ha, very funny," You deadpan, rolling your eyes at the blondes' wittiness.
"I know it seems like a lot, but come on, Buddy's warmed up to her. Do you think you might be able to do the same for me?" Leah tries her luck, hoping that you might change your mind, or at least be somewhat nice to Elle.
You continue to scowl across the table at the American woman, "I don't like her."
"You don't know her well enough to decide that though right now," Leah explains, her tone of voice gentle as she understands this might be hard for you to grasp.
"My minds already made up," You shake your head in protest, slumping back down into your seat,"When can we go home? I'm bored."
Leah exhales a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose, "In a bit. Just try and cheer up a bit, please?"
"But I'm bored, like super bored here, and I can do so much more at home!" You exclaim.
"So, Monkey," Elle begins, catching your attention now Buddy's sole focus is on the sticker book in front of her, or more so, the stickers she's putting everywhere around the table and chairs, coats, bags, phone cases, you name it - if it's there in eye-sight, its' been stickered.
You couldn't resist the smirk that appeared on your face, "So, she-devil..."
"Monkey," Leah scolded, fixing you with a sharp pointed look.
"What? I think it's a cute nickname," You feigned innocence, holding your hands up in the air in mock-surrender, "I can try another, if you'd like?"
Leah narrowed her eyebrow, "Watch it."
"Alright, alright," You rolled your eyes at the blonde sat opposite you, "What's up, El-Dog?" You tried again.
"Monkey," Leah repeated, continuing to look at you with a sharp look.
You huffed in response, not holding back on another eye roll and slumping back to lean against your chair, "Oh come on, you know I like nicknames... Elle... I don't know what rhymes with it," You retorted, shrugging your shoulders.
"You're very funny," Elle chimed in.
"Thank you, I'm training to be a part time comedian," You told her in a sarcastic tone of voice, a shit-eating grin on your face, having more enjoyment in winding this woman up, "Want to hear a knock-knock joke?"
"No she's not, she's winding you up," Leah interjected before you had the chance to spout anything more, "Knock it off, Menace. I mean it."
Elle chuckled, waving her hand off as she didn't seem so phased by your reluctance to speak to her, "So, Monkey, is that like a nickname you have?"
"I don't know, Elle, is yours a nickname for something else?" You shot back, innocently.
"Monkey is one of her many nicknames," Leah chimed in, "My other favourite ones' for her are Menace and my girl, both of them very self-explanatory."
"I see," Elle nodded in agreement, taking a moment to take a sip of her drink, "Leah tells me that you really like Lego. That's cool."
You didn't dare bat an eye, "Yeah, so, what's it to you?"
"Monkey, enough of that," Leah chided, nudging your shoulder.
"Yeah, I guess..." You begrudgingly agreed, leaning forward and attempting to blow bubbles in your drink with the straw, "I find it cool, and it helps me calm down sometimes, and whatnot."
Leah gave you a faint smile and nodded, "My whole house is overrun with Lego since both the girls love it so much."
"Duh? Lego is amazing, Malfoy!" You perked up, not resisting the urge to call Leah out by a nickname, since they're one of your favourite things to give people.
Elle shared a confused look between yourself and Leah, "Malfoy? Like, uh, Harry Potter?" She questioned.
"Yep!" Your excitement suddenly reached a new level, nodding your head in agreement, ditching blowing bubbles in your drink, "Have you ever watched it? Le definitely has a haircut like him!"
"Brilliant," Leah muttered in disbelief, shaking her head, "I think I preferred it when you were quiet instead now after all."
"I'm bored again," You complained dramatically, setting your drink down.
Leah rolled her eyes and reached into her own bag and pulled out some colouring pages and crayons, "Here. Happy now?"
Your eyes lit up despite yourself, “Colouring? Yes!” Grabbing the crayons, you started to scribble, regardless of the fact of your age, you were at least somewhat occupied for the time being.
“See?” Leah said, laughing softly, “I told you she’s harmless. She’s just a big kid, it’s unreal.”
“I’m not a big kid…” You felt a heat rise in your cheeks, not liking being called out like that, but you couldn’t help the grin that tugged at the corners of your lips. 
“Keep telling yourself that,” Leah teased, ruffling your hair. 
“Accusations. False accusations!” You grumbled underneath your breath, however, you grabbed a crayon and continued to scribble on the page. You weren’t fully ready to warm up to Elle, but slowly started to let the walls come down.
Buddy's little face scrunched up in concentration as she started to tug at Leah's hand, "Mummy! I... I' need toilet!" She exclaimed,  the urgency in her voice leaving no room for hesitation.
Leah didn't even flinch at the sudden demand, "Come on then, bubba. We'd better go find it quickly," She said, getting to her feet, quick and straight to the point, "You play nice, alright?"
You rolled your eyes at the interaction, turning your attention to your phone, "Pfft, oh please... I always play nice!" You muttered to yourself, though your eyes were glued to the screen instead of the woman in the room.
Elle, sensing the lull in the conversation, turned to you with a curious smile, "So, Monkey, what is that you like to do?"
You didn't immediately respond, not feeling particularly inclined to talk to her. But then, an idea flashed in your mind that could be so much better than small talk.
This might just be your chance to get someone else on board for the ultimate adventure -- skydiving!
"Oh, I have hobbies!" You said with an enthusiastic grin, "Yeah, I'm so adventurous and that. Like skydiving and all the different things like that!"
Elle raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued but cautious, "Skydiving, huh? That sounds kind of dangerous. Are you allowed to do things like that, with you being a professional footballer?"
"Oh, yeah, totally!" You waved your hand dismissively, like it was the least of your worries, "Do you want to go? We could go together, and it could be so fun!"
"Uh..." Elle hesitated for a second, but then to your surprise, shrugged, "Sure, that does sound like fun!"
You were now all but practically bouncing in your seat, a grin spreading across your face, "Awesome! So, uh, where is it that you live in America?" You decided it was probably best to try and ask some questions to at least seem interested, at least you hoped it was America where she lived.
Elle seemed to enjoy the change in pace as she answered, "Oh, I live in New York. Have you ever been?"
"Nope, never, but it sounds, like so sick!" You exclaimed, "They have that big tree there at Christmas as well, innit?"
"Yeah, it's really quite cool to look at," Elle replied, smiling at your enthusiasm.
"And do they have that ice as well?" You pressed, already seeing the path ahead.
"Oh yeah, they do..." Elle continued to nod in agreement, "Do you like to ice skate?"
"Sure, totally," You agree with a simple shrug of your shoulders, "So, do they have sky divng as well?"
Elle's eyes widened slightly, "Yeah, I think they have something like somewhere you can do it inside!"
Bingo, it was almost too convincing now!
"Really? Oh sick! We have to do it!" Your mind was completely made up now on the idea of going there for that one reason in particular, your eyes lighting up as you spotted Leah and Buddy return from their toilet trip, "Le! I wanna go to New York-- Le! Le! Can we... Can we go?"
"Whoa, slow down," Leah gave you an incredulous look, "Go where?" She asked, confused.
"New York!" You repeated, practically vibrating with excitement, "It sounds neat, don't it? We have to go!" You said with urgency.
Leah raised an eyebrow, her arms crossed in a casual but knowing stance, "Whoa, whoa, slow down a second. What am I missin'? You've changed your tune all of a sudden, haven't you?"
"We neeeeed to go. Pleaaaaase!" You almost whined, shifting from foot to foot, your excitement contagious.
"We will see, Menace, alright? I'm sure we can try and figure it out," Leah said, though her tone held an edge of amusement, clearly having no clue where this was truly heading.
"Yeeeees! Get in!" You cheered, punching your air in victory, "Cool! Oh yeah-- Elle, I got a question for you, and it's super important." You continued to quiz her without missing a single beat, "Depending on how you answer this, all but depends on if we can even be considered mutuals..."
Elle raised an eyebrow, "Sure, hit me with it!"
"Alright," You leaned in slightly, "Do you think pineapple belongs on pizza?" You questioned, deadpan.
"It's good," Elle answered simply.
You let out a loud whoop of excitement, causing Leah to give you a side-eye, "Right? Niiiiice! Okay, I think I changed my mind, I can begin to like you. Our sky diving trip is going to be amazing!"
And that's where you slipped up...
"Whoa, I'm sorry. Backup there... Skydiving?" Leah chimed in, holding her hand in protest, giving you a firm look, "Monkey! We've already talked about this!"
You winced in protest, "Damn it, so close..."
Leah folded her arms, trying her hardest to remain composed, "You know that skydiving is completely out of the question, and it's not happening!"
You groaned dramatically, clearly not willing to accept the defeat just yet, "You're such a buzzkill sometimes, Le!"
"I only agreed because I thought you were completely okay with it, I swear," Elle said, her tone almost apologetic.
Leah let out a soft sigh, her arms folding across her chest, "It's fine. Monkey knows she's not allowed to do it, and it's not your fault, babe," Her voice was calm but firm, offering a reassuring smile to Elle, “Nice try, Menace. No skydiving, and that’s final!”
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© scribblesofagoonerr
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allwaswell16 · 4 months ago
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A fic rec of soft One Direction fics with omega Harry as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!
- Louis/Harry -
🌸 Little by Little by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense
(E, 65k, o/o) Harry Styles is an omega who works at the London Planetarium, has lived in the same flat for ages, and is happy enough on his own. When he gets home from his first (horrible) attempt at dating in years, a new pregnant neighbor knocks on his door after smelling his cooking. 
🌸 You're Not My Type (still I fall) by Imogenlee / @imogenleewriter
(E, 38k, farm) Harry is only twenty-four and has no inclination to settle down at all, especially not at the behest of an Alpha. But, as his mum would point out, that was the same stubborn attitude that got him here: in his car, in a thunderstorm, on the side of a forsaken lane of some little countryside town in Yorkshire.
🌸 dream about a summer night by fearsparks / @onlythebravest
(T, 33k, summer camp) Working alongside each other as camp counsellors, Harry and Louis grow closer than they’ve ever been before. That’s not a problem, but now they have these newfound feelings for each other to deal with.
🌸 findin' pieces that can fit by lsforever / @kingonafiftymetreroad
(E, 31k, o/o) an Omega/Omega Established Relationship AU where they’re figuring it out as they go along. There’s a road trip in there, lots of cuddling, some cats and dogs, and, of course, the best first time Harry could ever ask for.
🌸 Is it a sign? by bluegreenish / @greenblueish
(E, 25k, deaf Harry)  the one where Harry meets a certain handsome alpha at his sister's wedding and learns that speaking verbally doesn't have to be the only means of communication.
🌸 love so soft, you ain’t had nothing softer (series) by @neondiamond
(E, 15k, strangers to lovers) Louis is an Alpha with an odd obsession for gummy bears. Harry is an Omega who makes friends a little too easily. They meet on the bus.
🌸 Stars Will Align For Us by @2tiedships2
(NR, 15k, pining) the one where Harry is an omega at a loss of how to get past his pining and gain the attention of Louis...especially considering the alpha is always in a relationship.
🌸 balance between you and me by beckywritesthings / @beckydoesthings
(T, 15k, coworkers) As a successful businessman, Louis is used to the long hours, never-ending work, and constant exhaustion. What hits the hardest, even though he'd never admit it, is the empty apartment he comes home to every day.
🌸 Come In and Change My Life by lightswoodmagic / @lightwoodsmagic
(E, 12k, neighbors) Harry and Louis become friends when Harry looks after Louis' cat during away games, until one night at a party changes everything between them. It's just a shame Louis' going to be away for the FIFA World Cup for three months.
🌸 I Can't Hear You by kikikryslee / @flamboyantommo
(E, 9k, established relationship)  the one where Harry is self-conscious about his body because it's not the 'typical omega body' and Louis shows him why he loves that.
🌸 you give me feelings that i adore by @alwaysxlarrie
(T, 7k, uni) 5 times Louis scents Harry's things and the 1 time Harry returns the gesture.
🌸 Court Wine by @enchantedlandcoffee , red_panda28 / @red-pandaaa
(T, 7k, friends to lovers) after a misunderstanding during a scrabble game, Alpha Louis starts courting Omega Harry without the latter being aware of it.
🌸 All at once, this is enough by @lunarheslwt
(G, 7k, o/o) Harry, overcome with burn out, wants to nest but he has never nested before, doesn’t know how to. Louis, his best friend, is only happy to help him make a nest and be there for him. Along the way, they find something more.
🌸 young hearts on the chase by homemotif / @polaroidlouis
(G, 7k, meet cute) harry’s a hopeless romantic, louis’ oblivious, and it’s going to be Valentine’s Day.
🌸 I Want You to Linger by @insightfulinsomniac
(E, 6k, friends to lovers) A friends-to-lovers fic in which oblivious alpha Louis courts his best friend, nests with the gifts he gets him, and is faced with the reality that sometimes telling someone you love them doesn’t go to plan (but turns out better in the end anyway).
🌸 As one we are everything/We are everything we need by louloubaby92 / @louloubabys1992
(M, 5k, established relationship) Harry finally marries the love of his life. He's got the mating mark, he's got Louis' ring on his finger.
🌸 In the Heat Where You Lay by @marchessa
(T, 5k, mpreg) the one where Louis tries to balance work life and his marriage while he also has to protect Harry from himself since the omega is danger walking on two marvellously long legs at the best of times.
🌸 Oh Christmas Three by @tommokat
(M, 1k, mpreg) A birthday surprise goes awry. Louis doesn’t understand. Harry blames the oven.
- Rare Pairs -
🌸 in the hope of open hands (series) by @justanothershadeofblue
(T, 21k, OT5) Five times the pack is protective of omega Harry, and one time Harry protects them. Featuring Louis and Liam as alphas, Zayn and Niall as betas, and Harry’s as the band's lone omega.
🌸 That Don't Define Who You Are by @lululawrence
(NR, 7k, Harry/Louis/Nick Grimshaw)  the one where Harry is a licking omega with a broken bond who helps heal a fairly hapless beta with a folding bicycle. When Harry also meets the beta's alpha, things start to get... interesting.
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skipper1331 · 11 months ago
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Who will win? // Merle Frohms
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a/n: based off this request!
"Hi" the voice of your girlfriend came whispered through the phone.
"Hey" you mumbled in responds, eyes already heavy after the exhausting day you’ve had. For awhile, no words were exchanged, only soft breathing could be heard. Merle was the one who broke the silence, her voice shaky, "will we be okay?" she asked, fearing your answer.
Tomorrow, Arsenal would face Wolfsburg in a sold out Emirates Stadium - a match that would decide which team would make it to the Champions League final as it was 2-2 on aggregate.
In an instant, you replied, "yes, of course."
Your mind had also been consumed by that thought. Would Merle be mad at you if you won? No matter who wins, what consequences will be there? What if you loose?
"Promise me?"
"I promise"
"Okay" she sighed in relief, "I love you" your cheeks turned hot, her words so full of honesty as the butterflies in your stomach went crazy.
"I love you too" you replied sheepishly, suddenly wide awake.
The keeper and you had met through mutual friends on a holiday trip, your chemistry magical since the very first moment. Yet at first, Merle was shy and reserved towards you, you were the only one she didn‘t know - well, she did know you as you were one of Arsenals greatest defenders but she didn’t know know you yet but that side was gone not even two hours later, the two of you engaged in conversation after conversation. It seemed like your friends weren‘t existing anymore as Merle only had eyes for you and vice versa.
After your trip, Merle couldn’t stop thinking about you, so she texted you, wanting to know if you arrived in London safely. It was just an excuse, although she actually wanted to know if you made it some safely, only she was hoping for another conversation with you in return - maybe one that didn‘t stop. Her prayers had been heard - you started texting nonstop. Soon texts started to turn into calls and your 'friendship' blossomed.
In the winter holidays, you visited Merle, the moment your friendship turned into more as she had kissed you under the mistletoe.
Now, two years later, your relationship was going strong.
-
The two of you continued the phone call for a bit before yet another yawn let your mouth, "my love, it‘s getting late. I‘ll see you tomorrow" the german whispered.
You hummed, eyes already shut as you heard the final "I love you" of the night. With that you drifted off to sleep, thinking about the blonde.
The next day rolled by earlier than you wanted to. You were excited, the emirates was sold out, playing an important match on home soil - you couldn’t be more excited yet you were so scared. What would happen? Your mind was not only occupied with the question what happens between Merle and you but will someone get injured? You feared that every time you stepped on the pitch.
You didn‘t see your girlfriend until the lineups in the tunnel, the girl looking good in her kit.
You shot her a quick smile which she returned with a nod - when Merle was in her game mode, in the zone, nobody could distract her. This match was just as important to her as it was to you. Nobody was allowed to make a mistake otherwise you might loose.
-
Stina opened the score in the 11‘, Jill equalizing in the 41‘ - your former teammate. You knew it was her job to score when she had the opportunity but you weren’t going to lie, it hurt when she did. But also, you were incredibly proud of her - she was your friend after all.
Despite Arsenal and Wolfsburgs chances and effort, the half time score stayed 1-1.
Though that changed when VfL had a corner kick - the one and only Alexandra Popp scoring a header, as usually.
2-1.
You felt frustrated, blaming yourself - should you have been at her side? When you felt a double clap on your back, you were called back to reality. No one was to blame. Popp was an incredible player.
You prayed for an equalizer.
And as if your prayers have been heard, Jen scored with a beauty of a header.
The game continued, Wolfsburgs had their chances as Arsenal had them too. But nothing seemed to work.
After 90+ minutes, the ref blew the whistle.
The score 2-2.
which only meant one thing.
Extra time.
Your nerves were on a high race. What will happen in that extra time? What will not happen? Will there be penalties?
You were, after Kim, the person who took the penalty. Your penalties were always perfectly shot, they always slotted in the goal - the goalie nowhere near. Yet if you had to take a penalty in this game, it would be different.
Merle was in the goal.
Your girlfriend.
The one person who knew you better than anyone.
Huddling together, Jonas gave some strict orders - how to play, how to create space and chances. This wasn’t any club, this was Wolfsburg and they were one of the best german teams - if not the best. You had to be focussed and give 101%.
No mistakes were allowed.
-
You did the biggest mistake.
The teams dream of making it to the final, possibly winning it, was thrown in the bin when Manu passed the ball to you. You don’t know what happened, one second you had the ball and in the next second Jule Brand had it. Despite your effort to get it back, you knew it was too late as she assisted it to Pauline Bremer who slotted it in. Your world seemed to stop spinning.
3-2 in the 119‘
You embarrassed yourself in front of a recorded crowd and because of you the team was about to loose.
-
Nothing mattered anymore.
Arsenal lost.
They lost because you made a mistake - a mistake that decided the game.
Wolfsburg would go to the final in Eindhoven, Arsenal would stay at home. Tears slipped out of your eyes as you covered it up with your jersey while you stood in the middle of the pitch, devastated about the massive loss. Everything fell to deaf ears as you were stuck in your anger and disappointment. You ignored everybody who had approached you until you heard a familiar voice, the voice you loved so deeply.
"Hey" she said.
You didn’t reply.
"You played great" she kept her distance, not knowing if you wanted her to hug you or to leave you alone. She respected either way.
"You‘re glad I fucked up, hm? Secretly, laughing at me"
It took Merle off guard, "what? What are you talking about?" her eyes were wide, brows furrowed.
Indeed, she was happy that her team won but she felt devastated for you, not only because of the loss in general but that you caused it. It will haunt you for a while.
"Oh, don’t act all innocent now! You cannot tell me you didn’t like it, can you? My mistake, Pauline scoring the winning goal… Merle Maschine Frohms, you‘re going to the final. Congratulations" you told her bittersweetly, patting her shoulder before walking away.
The goalkeeper could only watch. Normally, 'Merle Maschine Frohms' was a running gag between the two of you but now it seemed like it was an insult.
"Didn’t go well, I assume?"
-
After the team talk, you fled the scene. You didn’t want to be here anymore. Your expression was stone cold as your jaw was clenched. You went for a quick shower, you couldn’t be bothered to take your time, all you wanted was to go home and watch your comfort movie while eating chocolate or ice cream.
Leaving the stadium felt like a relief, anger and frustration slowly leaving your body as guilt, blame and disappointment made its way up.
You knew what you said to Merle was wrong and that she most likely felt bad for you as you had talked many many times about situations like these - not knowing they would ever happen again.
After the euros final, the topics about winning and losing have been brought up and talked through, even though nervousness and anxiety filled both of your bodies nights before those matches.
You didn’t mean to snap at her, your anger just had controlled your body and not your mind.
And right now, you couldn’t see that. All you could see and feel was disappointment.
You disappointed yourself.
You disappointed your team.
You disappointed every fan in the stadium.
You disappointed everybody.
-
You fell asleep on the couch, eyes puffy, ice cream melted in the bowl as weird tv shows played. Messages from your family and teammates on your phone - no message from Merle. You felt even more disappointed yet understood due to the circumstances.
She didn’t text you nor did you text her. You didn’t know if you should or even wanted to or if she wanted you to.
The days after the match went by awfully slow and very robotic. For your teammates, it seemed like you didn’t realize the loss yet somehow like you realized the loss too much.
But after a week, when the feeling of missing started to hit, disappointment and guilt fading away step by step, you decided to call Merle. You wanted to make things right. It was Merle after all, the girl: who loved you unconditionally, who kissed your wounds, who believed in you when you couldn’t believe in yourself.
You waited and waited and waited for her to answer until it eventually rang out, she didn’t want to talk to you. Sighing in defeat, you flopped on the couch.
Merle🪄
please call me back
She never responded.
It wasn‘t that she didn’t read it - she did, right after it was sent - yet couldn’t be bothered to answer.
Was this the end?
You checked her instagram - were the pictures with you still up?
They were.
Every time your screen lit up you hoped it would be Merle and each time you got disappointed when you saw that it wasn’t her. What was happening? Why did you have to snap at her?
-
It was two days later when Merle finally decided to call you back. It was in the middle of the night, you were at the verge of falling asleep.
Groggily, you picked up the phone, not even looking at the caller id.
"Hello?"
"Hey"
"Merle" your breath hitched, suddenly wide awake. Nothing mattered anymore, it didn’t matter that it was in the middle of the night or that you had training early in the morning. All you cared about was saving your relationship.
Silence held the line until a small whisper came, "you‘ve hurt me-"
"I know"
"Well, you didn’t insult me but I don’t know, snapping at me? I just wanted to comfort you. You promised me-"
"I promised you we would be okay"
"And we are not"
"I want us to be"
The silence that followed was deafening, you felt like this was the moment.
She will break up with me
"Merle?"
silence.
"I‘m sorry, I really am. I didn’t mean to snap at you, everything just came crashing down on me and I know this is no excuse. I was just- I don’t- I’m sorry"
silence.
"I love you"
You had already lost hope before "I love you too" came. "I don’t know why I got so upset at you, I had no right to, you had lost and I understood your emotions, but all I wanted was to comfort you. I‘m sorry that I didn’t give you some space or respected your boundaries. I want us to be okay, too, I really do."
"You do?" you asked surprised.
"Of course, I’m so in love with you, you can’t even imagine"
The biggest smile started to make its way on your face, cheeks flushing red, skin tingle.
"I‘ve missed you"
"I missed you so much"
All the built up feelings from the last week, washed away. There was no guilt or anger due to your mistake in the match, there was no sadness and sulking anymore - all there was, was love and happiness.
The two of you started one of your endless conversations, updating what had happened the last days or upcoming events - Merle purposely avoiding the uwcl final. She wanted you there more than anything but now wasn‘t the right time to bring it up.
The next weeks went by fast, you were back to your usual persona, socializing and cracking jokes as you slowly but surely learned to accept that mistakes happen.
Only one and a half weeks left before the final, the goalkeeper decided to bring it up because she really wanted to see you in the stands as her supporter.
Not thinking about her words, she blurted it out while you were in the middle of your sentence, "i want you to be at the final" she said, the kitchen in her flat suddenly super interesting. What felt like an eternity for her was in fact only a few seconds, your answer so supportive and loving, "yes, of course. Leah, Lia and I already have tickets and our flights are booked"
Your girlfriend stayed silent for a moment, "I was afraid you didn’t want to come" she admitted, cheeks turning red out of embarrassment.
"What? Why? I always want to see you play!" you beamed, "you’re in the champions league final, baby!" You pushed the little sting in your heart away, fully focused on Merle. If you couldn’t win the trophy, none other than your girlfriend should win it. You were her number one fan. So, as soon as things were made up with her - you weren’t sure if she wanted you there when things were complicated between the two of you - you texted in the group chat with Leah and Lia that you‘d join them.
"I thought maybe- I don’t know"
"No, baby. I always want to watch you play, always. And I’m so proud of you, you will win that trophy" you exclaimed, your index finger subconsciously drawing hearts on the couch.
"I love you"
The goalkeeper felt so relieved. With you being in the stands there couldn’t go anything wrong. She would not only try to win that trophy but to impress you.
-
"Stop being so jittery" the England captain stated as she rested her hand firmly on your knee to stop it from wobbling.
Already on the way to the stadium you couldn’t shut up about seeing Merle and her team, the atmosphere, FC Barcelona and so on. Somehow you were starstruck and so excited.
"Look! There’s Merle!" you cut the LW‘s off in their conversation, tapping Lia‘s thigh rapidly.
"Yes, we can see her" she chuckled, your eyes shining with hearts. "Isn’t she so pretty" you admired. She looked so stunning in her kit. "You‘re drooling" Leah chipped in, laughing at you when your hand flew to your mouth, checking if there was drool - there wasn‘t.
-
"LET‘S GO!!!" you yelled when Ewa Pajor scored the opening goal in the 3rd minute. Green shirts everywhere in the stadium, cheering for their team as they went in the lead. Lia and Leah watched you with an amused look while they held their facial expressions neutral about the game.
"YES!!!" you cheered even louder when the second goal came flying in from Alex Popp - that women an absolute legend with her incredible headers.
The first half Wolfsburg played phenomenally as they created chances, defended and got two goals.
Yet when the second half started everything went downhill. About 5 minutes into the game Patri equalized. The stadium started to roar, the Wolfsburg players looking helpless.
Though, you had to admit that it was brilliantly played from Barcelona, even though you felt bad for Merle as she conceded two goals within two minutes.
Every minute that went by from then on, the game got more intense and physically. Fouls and cards were called out, every player on the pitch wanting to win.
When Rolfö scored in the 70th, you slumped back in your chair, grumbling about the game. How was Merle supposed to save that? She stood no chance!
You had a feeling that it was the last goal you would see off the game. And it was confirmed around 30+ mins later when the referee blew her whistle.
Devastated, you watched as the players in green collapsed on the floor, all of them crying or at least with tears in their eyes yet your eyes glued on the goalkeeper in blue. She must feel horrible - a feeling you knew better than anyone.
In all honesty, Merle wasn‘t to blame for the loss and neither were her teammates - their performance was great, just not enough in the end.
Like in trance, the german international made her way over to you - she needed your comfort. She needed your hugs, your touch and your love. She just needed you.
"Hey" she mumbled as she stood in front of you, her teammates also near her as you sat in the family and friends section.
"Come here" you opened your arms, the girl hugging you as if her life deepened on it, sobbing in the crook of your neck. You hand cradled her head while the other one rubbed her back in a calming and gentle manner. "I‘m proud of you" you whispered, sweetly kissing her temple before you let cry as long as she needed in your shoulder.
After sweet nothings and a long hug, she stepped back, looking at you with doe eyes, "i‘m sorry I couldn’t win."
Your hands cupped her cheeks as your thumbs wiped away the tears, "I love you" you couldn’t say anything else, it would have been wrong to say 'you played great' even though she was blaming herself for the loss right now. Instead you stood on your tip toes, pressing your lips against her left cheek, then right cheek before finally her mouth which resulted in a little smile. It was a kiss so gentle and tender, healing and caring, loving and promising. But most importantly - it was your kiss.
So, in the end, sadly, neither of you won the trophy but the comfort you had in each other seemed like a win in a loss.
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