#going through some fun asks I didn't get to because last week got crazy

[charmwasjess]

*getting in with a rose in my mouth* tell us about the ✨breakfast fic✨

EXCUSE ME ANT YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL WHAT THE BREAKFAST FIC IS 👿

I suppose this is fair payback for when I tag you in these when I know you're writing Torture cave goodness.

Ahem.

The breakfast fic is PWP, the morning after a night, Sifo-Dyas and Dooku wake up together and have, uh, a nice breakfast. In this part, they're actually still in bed. Cut for smut so enter at your own peril:

“Sorry,��� Sifo-Dyas grinned. “Just checking to see if you were still alive.”

“With which part were you checking?” Dooku stretched languidly.

“My eyes.” Sifo-Dyas made an attempt to sound sweet and innocent as he straddled him, taking the opportunity to pin Dooku while he was still waking up and vulnerable to such attacks. His partner’s larger body felt warm and solid between his legs. It was good to look down, see all of his muscled chest and abdomen, his duelist’s arms, to feel all that potent energy under him, but for once, made calm. And if Sifo-Dyas touched the Force, he could feel he was pleased to see him, in spite of his teasing. 

“Your eyes. Ah. Of course.” Dooku used the position to his own ends, reaching into his sleep pants and finding what he wanted. “Forgive my assumptions. I must have been mistaken.” 

“Stars,” he sucked a breath as Dooku’s calloused thumb circled the sensitive head of his cock, as if to make some roundabout point, and then stroked him. He let his head tip back, his hips rocking forward in time with Dooku’s motions without his permission. “That’s so nice…” 

“I know.” Dooku's smug reply was half a purr, half a rumble, low and rough with sleep. He didn’t stop. "Did I hear Jocasta leave?”

“--had to go to the Archives...” Sifo-Dyas murmured, trying to maintain the casual conversation and resist fully thrusting into that obliging palm. His plans for not escalating this wake up into a sexual encounter were rapidly devolving. “There’s breakfast.” 

“Mmn.” Mild disapproval. Dooku did not usually eat until he’d been awake for several hours. 

“...there’s caf?” he tried again.

“Hmm.” More approvingly. “I want a shower first.” 

Actually, a shower did sound nice. They had fallen asleep in a collective tangle last night, the sweat drying on their skin. “Can I come?”

"Oh," Dooku’s eyes flicked up from his task with a very interested expression, “...yes.” 

Sifo-Dyas choked on a laugh, in spite of his compromised condition. “--come join you in the shower, I meant.”

“Oh.” Dooku reconsidered. “Yes.”

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

the rash decisions [part 1] l Joel Miller

Summary: a guy at a bar spilled his drink on you, then you made some weird decisions

Warnings: +18, smut, fingering, sex, some dirty words, probably some more

A/N: raise your hand to anyone who needs sexy and sweet pre-outbreak Joel Miller. I think there will be a part two.

[PART 2]

You definitely shouldn't be there. Maybe you were doing the worst thing in your life right now and showing zero sense of decency, but... God! This sin was so good.

His warm lips wandered along your neck, mustache and facial hair teasing your skin pleasantly. Large hands gripped your buttocks hidden in your tight jeans. The arousal in your nether regions was at a critical level.

The truck you were sitting in wasn't very comfortable, especially since you were sitting on his lap, feeling the growing bulge in his jeans beneath you.

"Take me to your place." you whispered into his ear, feeling like any more and both of you would go crazy.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

You bit your lower lip, smiling, and nodded.

"Completely sure."

His fingers threaded through your hair as he pulled your face down to taste your lips once more. That was crazy.

He took you to his house and the moment the door closed behind you, your hands were already under his shirt.

"Greedy." he laughed but didn't stop you.

He felt the chemistry and the fact that you wanted him so much was really pleasing to him. He wasn't entirely sure how you got to his upstairs bedroom without hurting yourself too much, but when the door closed behind you, all brakes were released.

Joel Miller didn't plan on spending the night at a bar, but he found himself there anyway. As soon as Tommy, his younger brother, found out that Sarah would be spending the night at a friend's house on Friday night and wouldn't be back until late Saturday afternoon, he didn't give up on him one bit.

"When was the last time you went out, huh?" he asked "You've got to get some nice lady laid, otherwise you'll be completely out of business. Trust me! It'll be good for you!"

Maybe Tommy was right? Since becoming a full-time parent, Joel's life has revolved around work, home and his daughter. Now that Sarah was a teenager, he could at least think about himself a little. Although he didn't hide the fact that he would rather spend the evening taking a nap on the couch while watching some poor quality movie.

That's how he ended up in that bar drinking a beer, and then he accidentally bumped into you and caused your drink to spill on your jeans. Joel felt like a fucking idiot and apologized so profusely that you finally gave in to his poor puppy look and let him buy you another drink.

You were both people who didn't necessarily want to be in this place. After a hard week, you decided to force yourself to go out and pretend that you were having fun. And then Joel showed up and you two were really having a good conversation, so you moved to his car to have more privacy.

Your kisses became more and more intense, and your hands, like hungry creatures, stripped you of layers of clothes. His body looked so good in the dim light. Broad and strong shoulders, narrow waist, a thin strip of hair leading straight to his briefs.

But you were the first to hear:

"Gorgeous." as his dark eyes landed on your body.

You felt his desire. It was like you were locked in a room with someone who wanted to swallow you whole, and you had never felt so wanted before.

Was it because of the alcohol? Have you just lost your mind? You didn't want to think about it then. All your life you had made decisions based on common sense, and that night you wanted to do something that would simply give you incredible pleasure. Joel Miller was that promise.

His sweet weight pressed you to the mattress in a nice way. A soft sigh escaped your throat as his lips closed over your nipple. His tongue teased the skin and his hand kneaded the other breast. You felt vulnerable around him.

"Do you like it, baby girl?" he asked, moving his mouth to the other tit. "Mhm. I can feel it."

Your body responded on its own. You arched in pleasure while trying to feel the friction between your legs that would give you relief.

“If you want me to stop…” he started, but you quickly cut him off.

"No, I want more, Joel. I want to feel you."

He smiled mischievously, and you wanted to wipe that smirk off his handsome face. He lifted himself slightly on his arms, smashing your lips together again. He kissed you deeply and with a feeling you hadn't expected from a one-night stand.

However, you took advantage of the opportunity and your hands quickly reached his briefs, sliding them off and then clamping down on his shapely buttocks.

"Ouch! Little rascal." he laughed.

"Really?" you replied innocently, "If I don't feel your cock inside me soon, I'll have to call a taxi and... Shit!"

His hand appeared on your pussy completely unannounced. You didn't think you were that horny. He rubbed it slowly, then moved her panties aside and inserted two thick fingers.

You took a deep breath at the sudden stretch, and when Joel began to tease your clit with his thumb, the air left your lungs with a soft moan.

"I got you." he whispered, kissing your neck, his low voice an added incentive. “So tight and so wet. I need to prepare you, baby girl. Before I destroy that sweet pussy, I want you to come on my fingers. Will you do it for me, love?”

You nodded, unable to make a voice or any other sound that could be considered an answer. His fingers moved quickly, curling every now and then to tease that spot inside you that was driving you crazy. You unconsciously bent your knee, spreading your legs further as if you wanted to escape from what was happening above.

Your hand slid down and found his, but you couldn't stop him even if you wanted to. But did you want to? You felt like you were so close, but at the same time you were afraid of losing that last control over your body.

Joel must have sensed it because his voice, although softer, gave you an order again.

"Let it go, baby girl. Don't fight it."

His lips appeared on your nipple again, and when you felt how hard he sucked on it, you came with a muffled moan. Your hand pressed against his, the fingers of which continued to move in your pussy, carrying you through this orgasm. He didn't stop even when your thighs tightened like pincers.

You wanted to kiss him. You grabbed his face in your hands and pulled him in, kissing him hard, feeling his tongue wander inside your mouth. You wanted to respond with the same pleasure for him, but Joel pushed your hand away gently.

"Next time, baby. I'm already so hard that if I don't bury myself inside you soon, I think I'll explode."

He turned and pulled a silver condom package from the bedside drawer. It's good that you found a guy who thought of everything.

"I'm clean, if you want to know." you said as he ripped open the package and put on the condom.

"I trust you, sweetie, but I want you to be safe." he replied.

He smiled, noticing how you watched his movements. His cock was firm and impressive.

"I want to be on top."

"Are you sure?" another nod "I won't stop you, baby."

In an instant, you jumped at his hips. Joel held his cock as you slowly lowered yourself onto him. You felt pressure, then a pleasant sensation as you stretched and then tightened around him. You stopped for a moment. You felt full like never before.

"Everything okay?" you asked, seeing him close his eyes.

"Mhm." he muttered, "Amazing. You're so... Fuck!"

Your hips rose and fell so suddenly that Joel almost gasped for air. He grabbed your hips, but you were in control now. With every move you made, you were driving him crazy. His eyes had gone completely dark. He was staring at you like a predator, as if he was just letting you play with him and then he would grab you in his claws and tear you to shreds.

His hands pressed harder against your hips and you moaned as you felt yourself impaling yourself on him even harder. Again and again. Your nails dug into his chest, but neither of you noticed.

He lifted himself and his lips found your neck, kissing and nipping at the delicate skin. Your arms wrapped around his neck, your fingers running into his hair, pulling it lightly.

You didn't even know when Joel turned you around and you landed on your back, pinned to the mattress as it groaned under the weight of your bodies and the force of him pounding into you.

"Fuck!" he moaned "I'm close, baby. So fucking close." he panted.

Your legs wrapped around his hips, his hands grabbed yours and pinned them above your head. Joel's movements became more and more erratic.

“Don't stop…” you moaned, “Right there, baby… Just like… Fuck!”

As your body was once again filled with pleasure, your legs tightened around his hips, but Joel didn't stop. Feeling your pussy tighten around his cock, he moved a few more times as he felt his release. With a loud groan, he fell on top of you, trying not to crush you, burying his face in your hair.

"Jesus... You're fucking amazing." he repeated softly, "So good to me."

He got up and, like a drunk, kissed your neck, collarbone, chin. You started laughing quietly, but you turned to his face and kissed him tenderly. His dreamy eyes completely melted you.

"Do you think we could do it again?" he asked "I'm still hungry for you."

"I think so." you replied, because you actually hoped that it wouldn't end with this one time. "That was really impressive, Mr. Miller."

"Don't talk to me like that. I'll be hard again soon."

Joel pulled out of you and as soon as he cleaned himself, he took you back to him. He smelled like sex, you both must have smelled like that. Sweat and sex.

"I should call a taxi." you noticed as you both breathed calmly, "Before we both feel awkward."

"What are you talking about?" Joel frowned at you.

"You know..." you shrugged. "We just met a few hours ago."

"And we just had fucking great sex. Stay, sweetie."

He kissed your forehead and you already knew you would stay. You felt really good and safe in his arms. Too good to go home.

You woke up to a strange sound. You rubbed your eyes and saw an unfamiliar wall. It took you a moment to remember last night. Joel's arm rested on your waist, his soft breathing and snoring filling the room lit by the morning sun.

Footsteps on the stairs. Someone was clearly in the house.

"Joel? Joel?"

"Mhm."

"I think there's someone at home."

"W-What?" he croaked, "Who?"

"I..."

The door opened unexpectedly and you saw a tall, dark-haired man. He was probably as surprised as you were. You quickly pulled the blanket up to your chin.

"Fuck, Tommy!" Joel growled, "Get out!"

"I'm so sorry!" the man replied quickly, but you didn't notice that he was even the slightest bit sorry on his face, "I brought coffee!"

"Get out!"

The door closed quickly and you covered your face with your hands. God! It was embarrassing.

"Jesus, I'm sorry about him." Joel kissed your shoulder. “He's my stupid brother. I'll see what he wants.”

"Yeah, sure." you replied, "Go."

"Look at me, please."

You uncovered your hands and looked at the man who had given you so much pleasure last night. His hair was sweetly disheveled, his eyes slightly sleepy, but a pleasant smile was on his face.

"Mornig. Good to see you, sweetie."

"Hi." you smiled, "So you're real?"

"I was just about to ask you the same thing." he laughed, kissing the back of your hand tenderly, "I'll go downstairs and see what he want. Would you like some coffee?"

"With pleasure."

Another kiss and Joel got dressed and left the bedroom. You lay in bed for a while, thinking about what you felt. You certainly didn't feel any remorse after what happened. Joel was really cute and you felt comfortable with him. If you could tell that after the few hours you spent with him, mostly in his bed.

You decided to get dressed and freshen up. You were sure you looked like a nightmare, and you definitely still smelled like him. You quietly walked out into the hall, intending to find the bathroom. After a few steps, however, your attention was drawn to voices coming from the ground floor.

"She's pretty, really."

It had to be Tommy.

"I know." replied Joel "I have a hard time believing that a girl like that would even look at me. If I hadn't spilled her drink..."

"Really?" Tommy laughed, "I told you! Put a nice lady down and you'll feel better in no time. Back to business, bro!"

A heavy stone landed in your stomach.

"Don't say that." Joel interrupted, "She's really amazing."

"You just slept with her. Don't think with your dick. You're not a teenager, are you?"

"Tommy, please!"

You took your chance and quietly walked down the stairs, then slipped straight to the exit door.

☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

[radiant-reid]

Baby Spencer x hotch daughter first meeting maybe? I’d kind of like to think that maybe they had met before or liked each other. Like they go to the same coffee shop and meet there and talk. And he is finally worked up to courage to ask her out and just before he’s going to leave to meet her, she walks in and is introduced as hotch’s daughter.

"Rushing off to see your girlfriend?" Morgan asks with a smirk.

Spencer had thought he made a clean getaway when no one was in the bullpen but he made the mistake of putting his mug in the dishwasher instead of just leaving and Morgan snuck up on him.

"She's not my girlfriend." Spencer denies, blushing guiltily. Maybe one day, he thinks every time at the coffee shop.

"Man, we just got home from a week-long case, you haven't slept in 32 hours, but you're still going to get coffee with her." Morgan reminds him, chuckling slightly at how whipped his friend is.

"It's because I always see her on Sundays," Spencer replies shortly. wanting to get out of there.

Morgan pats him on the back. "Have fun then."

Before Spencer can reply, someone he knows walks through the door, someone he's definitely not expecting to see at the BAU. You.

He's surprised you're here, wondering how you found him, what you need.

And even more to his surprise, Morgan greets you with a hug. "Hey, sweetness, how are you?"

Spencer watches in shock as you hug Morgan back, definitely like you're very friendly with him. Does that mean you knew who Spencer was when you met? Is this some kind of sick, elaborate prank?

"Good." You reply, flashing a quick smile at Spencer that Morgan catches onto and frowns at. "Is he here?"

Morgan seems to know who you're talking about. "Yeah."

"I thought I'd come see him since someone missed our coffee shop date." Your bold wink following the statement has Spencer blushing like crazy. Then you're gone, walking away from the boys.

Morgan's eyebrows raise and he turns to look at Spencer. "That's coffee shop girl!?" He explains, even before you're out of earshot.

"Who is she?" Spencer asks back.

"Hotch's daughter, how did you not know that?" Morgan fills Spencer in on information that has him seriously alarmed.

He's been dating Hotch's daughter!? Jack's young enough that he assumed Hotch's other child was less than ten years older and away at boarding school or something, not an adult in DC that he's been unknowingly building a relationship with.

And his crush is far too big to let go of now.

Morgan's laughing next to him. "Oh, that's too good."

"What am I going to do?" Spencer repeats the question running through his head.

"Ask her out," Morgan says with a shrug. "It just means one day, Hotch will be your father-in-law."

That's a terrifying thought to Spencer, not marrying you but having Hotch related to him, even if it is just through marriage.

He stresses about what to do in the corridor rather than going home or sitting in the bullpen where he's within your line of sight. He's not sure whether it's going to be a good thing or not, but only a few minutes later, you come through the glass doors. Thankfully, you're without your father.

"Hey." You say awkwardly, coming to stand in front of him. "I hope you know I was joking with the coffee shop comment."

Spencer nods. "Did you know who I was?" He asks the question that's been burning in his mind. He's not sure which is the worse option.

"No." You assure him. "I didn't even consider it." Neither of you had spoken about your jobs much, and all Spencer had really said is that he travels for work often. "I'm sorry I never told you my last name."

"It's okay," Spencer shakes his head. "It's nice to see you."

You beam back. "It's nice to see you too."

"Do you want to get coffee?" He finally asks, unsure where the confidence came from. It's a big leap of faith, but he's relatively sure Hotch can't fire him over it. "If it's okay for me to ask you out romantically."

It definetly wasn't what you were expecting but you nod eagerly. "I'd love that."

[ninjagirlstar5]

So, uh, I might've gone a little crazy last week and came up with a Kanade Concept rewrite. (And made some redesigns of IRL!Kanade and IRL!Hibiki to reflect that.)

SO, for context, if you've been following me for awhile (or just came across some of my posts in the past), you'd know that my friend and I have been playing through SDRA2 for fun and it's around the end of Chapter 3 that I started making posts mentioning certain segments of our reactions, feelings, and some jokes. And to say we hated it would be an understatement. But I've had asks where I went on a rant about Chapter 3 more than once, so I won't repeat myself here. If anyone hasn't seen that, you can find it here, and here.

At this point, we're at Chapter 6 and during one of our after stream chats in VC, my friend, @bittersweetbeet, suddenly brought up an idea that could've tied Kanade (and thus Chapter 3) into the main plot and that was this:

"What if Kanade was blessed with Divine Luck from Utsuro like Void? Like, she wasn't in on the plan, but the reason why everything went south for her is because her luck was running out and got screwed over in the trial because of that, and was more than willing to die because she'd prefer that over losing her Fortune. It wouldn't fix Chapter 3, but at least it'd explain how she got away with all those damn murders for so long!"

I'm kinda paraphrasing here since I don't remember the exact wording due to this idea being brought up in the voice channel. But that was essentially what they said and it drove me NUTS at the time. After all, it's been brought up that Utsuro tended to bless a bunch of kids that were the same/similar age as him during his travels out of boredom, and while we don't know a lot about Kanade and Hibiki's parents to know for certain if they were bad and good (personally, I interpret them as decent people but tended to play favorites with Hibiki and accidentally neglecting Kanade, which only worsens their issues even when they try to bring them together), we DO know that Hibiki tends to bully Kanade a lot and that alone can make for a difficult childhood even when you have parents that care about you. So, with a bit of timeline adjusting, Kanade coming across Utsuro when she was, ahem, down on her luck, and getting blessed by him after she vents about her problems can make sense as this is something he's done for awhile now. And it should be noted that not every kid he blessed with Fortune had the same level of dire straits, as many had different levels of Fortune which faded away at different paces. It's why Void lasted for as long as they did since their situation was the worst of the worst so their Fortunes faded away much slower while others either succumbed to fates sooner or lost their fortunes and survived but couldn't handle being back in the same state they tried so desperately to escape from that they just...well, you know. Not every person that was blessed with Divine Luck was going to be a good person or, hell, some people can end up getting worse with the Fortunes they were blessed with instead of becoming better (like Mikado). And so, we started chatting ourselves up about this idea and I really wanted to share it here on Tumblr that I asked if it was alright if I shared it on my blog and they gave me the go ahead. I didn't share it right away, but I was thinking over how to word the post while I was at work. Which is when I realize there were...a few problems with this idea, unfortunately. Mainly this since I brought it up in our rambles channel in the Discord server to get my buddy's thoughts on it, so I'm just gonna copy and paste that:

"...I've been trying to figure out how to word the idea of Kanade being blessed by Divine Luck and I kinda realized something: how would Kanade realize her luck is fading…when she's not a part of Void? Like, she's not in on the plan from the very start so she's been reverted to a [place] where she believes that she's fine and her luck is still running strong. And how that would be conveyed to the audience…

Like, I can believe Kanade could figure it out, even if I think how the writer LINUJ showed off her intelligence to be stupid, but I'm struggling [on] how to explain how she'd figure out that she ran out of luck? She'd be surprised that things have turned on her suddenly due to her state of being reverted back to a time where her luck is strong, but would she fully understand the context to the point that she'd rather die with her sister than lose what she already have?"

Like, I could've been overthinking on that. I could've had it so that a character comments that she was just hit with a wave of bad luck and Kanade goes, "Me? The most luckiest person ever? Never! (...unless-)" But I was really struggling to come up with an answer I was satisfied with at the time and even Bertie was like, "it's stuff like this that makes it so that the only option that would fix Chapter 3 is by rewriting the whole thing." Which is something I do agree with. This idea wasn't a complete fix to everything that's wrong with Chapter 3 anyways, especially when it comes to Kanade and how the writing on her character just sank it into the depths of hell. It was simply an explanation we both really liked.

And then Bertie went on to say, and I quote, "Tbh I think it would be more interesting if Kanade hated Hibiki deeply rather than love her. It’d be cliche probably but it’s better than the weird incest-like shit we have going on here" end quote.

And I started off with a normal response agreeing and elaborating on the idea, like so:

"HONESTLY, yeah. It's better to just scrap the whole chapter and rewrite it from the ground up.

And yeah, I do agree that anything that's different than what we got in Canon is probably much much better. Although I would still want to keep the nuances of Kanade and Hibiki's status as victims of each other's toxicity. Hibiki is constantly bullying Kanade due to seeing how good Kanade is at a lot of things and is jealous of that but still cares and loves her as a sister even though she sucks at appreciating Kanade for who she is. Meanwhile, Kanade still loves her sister and willingly goes along with her bullying, going as far as to try and be meek and shy to appeal to her sister's dominant but cowardly ways but deep down she resents her for keeping her from doing things she likes even though she does genuinely enjoy spending time with her and gets jealous whenever other people get close cause it means that Hibiki won't bother to spend time with her. She often drives them away one way or another so she can have Hibiki to herself, even when nothing changes because Hibiki is her sister and she just wants her to love her and spend time with her (but not in the gross incest way and we're taking away the whole crazy serial killer thing, she's just her own level of toxic)."

And that's when I started spiraling into an gigantic ramble that lasted nearly an hour and thirty minutes (minus a dinner break) because my brain was in a creative mood that night. Enjoy my copy and pasted ramble (I won't italicize all of this to make it easier on the eyes cause if you know me by now, my writing gets very long + a bit of editing to make it a little more coherent):

"I still like the idea of Kanade being blessed by Divine Luck and being good at many skills because of it, and she's smart enough to realize that the boy she met long ago somehow changed her when she had openly vented to him about her problems the day they met (after giving him her umbrella to protect himself from the pouring rain, as she had ran away on a whim due to being fed up with her parents and her sister [at the time]). She's very grateful for what he's done for her, believing that the skills she now has can bring herself closer to Hibiki by being useful to her."

"But here's the catcher: her blessing doesn't work in the way she had hoped. Because surprise! Divine Luck has it's own set of rules despite being able to break reality as long as the chances aren't zero. Basically, Divine Luck can make you better at anything, get you anything, without having to go through the process of improving or skipping the steps that are needed to get the result, simply jumping to the result itself. However, out of everything it can change, from skills to getting someone shelter to just winning any kind of luck-based event, it cannot change a person's heart. And Kanade, despite having the skills that are "supposed" to bring her closer to her sister, only makes Hibiki even more jealous and she continues to bully her, going as far as to push her workload onto her now that she's so "good" at everything and proclaiming that she's just as good, if not better. Her blessing got her what she wanted but not what she needed in her case, unlike with the rest of Void, and she ends up paralleling Mikado as despite being blessed with Divine Luck, it did not make them better or improve their situation due to their own choices/how they used their blessing (Mikado because he constantly pursued Utsuro to the point committing crime after crime, Kanade because instead of standing up for herself and establishing her boundaries, she continued to support her sister no matter what, something that only ends up building the resentment in her heart). That's not to say that Hibiki isn't instigating most of the abuse, she is. But Kanade isn't making things better as she uses her skills to make herself seem like the better option in comparison to the people Hibiki wants to hang out with and get to know, even going as far as to scare them away to isolate Hibiki so she doesn't even have any options to choose from."

"And then, Chapter 3 rolls around and Hibiki starts to change, trying to be supportive of the group and take charge to help everyone get through the killing game. It…surprises Kanade, but she watches her sister change and grow, becoming more confident, cheerful, kinder…

…And she realizes that she hates it.

She hates the thought of her sister changing. She hates the thought of her being kinder after everything she's done to her. She hates the thought of Hibiki growing closer to these people, becoming attached and happy without her, Kanade, her own sister.

She hates the thought of being left alone again. She hates the thought that Hibiki is going to leave her again.

She hates it, she hates it, she hates it.

She hates her.

But she loves her.

She wants her to be with her, forever.

So why won't she ever look her way?

Why, why, why?

Kanade is spiraling in her head, trying to keep up her shy, sweet side up but gritting her teeth the whole time as she watches. Even when Hibiki is being kinder to her, still making her usual jokes about her but is actually trying to prop her sister up a bit more, it's only because Sora and Setsuka had suggested her to be kinder, not because she wants to. At least, that's what Kanade thinks. She doesn't want to believe her sister is changing for the better, that she's able to change at all, that she's going to leave her behind for other people again.

And when Setsuka tries to reach out to her on the third day…Kanade finally snaps.

She tears into Setsuka, accusing her of stealing her sister away from her, for giving her ideas to be better when she can't, she should never be better than she already is because if she is, she'll just abandon her and leave her all alone. Her stupid, cowardly sister can't ever hope to be on her own, she always has to rely on her, HER, not anyone else…and definitely not SETSUKA!

And before Kanade knew it, she lunges at Setsuka.

The scuffle was short…but the result was predictable."

"To elaborate a little bit more on Setsuka, she's was still pretty distant from the group as she was focused on doing what she needs for Nikei and stuff. But after Hibiki starts to break down a little and reaches out to Setsuka for help, she commits herself to stabilizing the group once more, supporting Hibiki and telling her and everyone else that she has something to tell them. But Kanade, watching this entire scene, only starts to become even more on edge as Hibiki, once again, reaches out to someone else instead of her. Despite trying to "change," Hibiki had so easily broken down once more, crying and begging for help, relying on another person for support and to "fix" everything for her. And that convinces Kanade that Hibiki can't change, she won't EVER change, and she bitterly goes to bed. But Setsuka notices Kanade's displeasure and, not knowing why she's unhappy, decides to take matters into her own hands and have a one-on-one talk with her to see if she [can] help. Unfortunately, this decision backfires on her hard, resulting in her own death.

Now, unlike in canon, Kanade panics as this was the first time she's EVER committed a murder before. Sure, she's harassed, blackmailed, and even threatened people that tried to get close to Hibiki before with violence, people that would only take her away from her. But she didn't…she never…she didn't mean to do this! But, no, Setsuka…No, no. Why should she regret this? Why should she apologize?

Setsuka was getting in the way. Setsuka was going steal her sister away.

And Hibki was still the same as she ever was. Not being "better," not ever "changing." She was still Hibiki, the bully, the sister, the bratty, snappy, fussy older sister that demands respect despite her cowardly, weak self. A sister that Kanade deeply loves…and hates."

"But she won't let her die her. She'll escape with her, a certain "ritual" should allow her to escape with her as it's an option for the blackened on the third island according to Monocrow. If she goes through with that, she can escape with her sister…and make sure she'll never change again.

But if she loses…then she'll die. She'll die…

…and she'll take Hibiki with her. For she doesn't deserve to live without her.

Kanade goes through with the ritual as fast as she could, relying on her skills (and thus her luck) to succeed in framing Hibiki and nearly gets away with it.

But, unbeknownst to her due to her current memories, Kanade's luck has been dwindling and since her situation wasn't as dire as Void's, hers has been fading away far faster than them. And ends up making a few mistakes that seem innocent enough until it all starts to pile up, with one last conclusive evidence fucking her over and revealing her to be the true culprit.

Kanade is seething when she's caught, her ego bruised and lamenting how the hell she lost, with Syobai dryly stating that her luck has run out. Kanade laughs, saying that can't be true. She's always been lucky! She's always been able to get things her way, even when she has no friends outside of Hibiki. This tips both Mikado and Nikei off that, hey, wait a minute, is she…? Of course, neither of them speak up on it due to keeping their own plans close to their chest. Everyone asks her why, why did she do it, with Hibiki grabbing her sister, begging her why she would do something like this, why would Kanade frame her of her best friend's death? A death that she caused?

And Kanade, after years of bottling up her own resentment…finally blows up at Hibiki."

"She tells her off for her bullying, of her neglecting to pay attention or spend any time with her unless she wanted something from her, and pushing all the things she doesn't want to do onto her. She proclaims that she had ALWAYS hated everything she's done to Kanade, wishing she could've done anything else, wishing that, for once in their goddamn lives, that they did something she wanted to do, not because Hibiki had chosen it. All Kanade had ever wanted was her love and affection, but she never appreciated her or all the things she's done for her. [She even went] as far to change herself to try and appeal to her sister and her wants and needs. And yet…despite everything, she still loves her. She loves the times when they would dress up together. She loves the times when they would perform together. She loves it when Hibiki actually cares for her. She loves her, because she's her sister…

And because Setsuka was getting in the way of that, she had to get rid of her. Just like everyone else…!

Everyone freezes when Kanade admits that out loud. She pauses when she realized what she said, but instead of apologizing [or even denying it], she doubles down. She admits that she drove away their childhood friend, she admits to spreading false rumors about their teacher and getting him fired, she admits to falsifying a hurtful rejection to a guy Hibiki was getting close to and pretended to be her so that she can ruin their chances of getting together when he finally confessed, she harrassed, blackmailed, threatened people that got close…and Setsuka was just another person on a long list of those that got in the way. She just…didn't mean to kill her. It just…happened. But Kanade…doesn't care about that. She doesn't care about anything anymore. It's apparent that her luck ran out…and now she's going to die.

But she's not dying alone. She refuses to die alone.

[After all, they're] sisters, right…? It's only right that they stay together till the bitter end, right?"

"Hibiki tries to back away, but Kanade grabs her just as Monocrow drags her into her execution, bringing her with them."

"The execution goes almost exactly the same but Kanade is doing her damndest to make sure Hibiki dies with her, with Hibiki trying to escape. And it seems like it was going to happen…until Hibiki beats the hell out of her with a microphone, crying and wailing for all the people Kanade had hurt in her name, demanding why, why, why. Kanade can only answer this:

"It was ALL for you. You and you alone."'

"Hibiki drops the microphone, backing away from the sister that was so possessive of her, in her hatred and love.

And then she runs away, leaving Kanade all alone.

Monocrow doesn't stop her, for this execution was only made for Kanade…and seeing her despair as she finally loses the one thing she had tried so hard to grasp onto slip away from her was enough for him to pull the lever, the platform underneath Kanade falling and killing her.

By the time Hibiki has made it back to the trial grounds, her gait is slow and unsteady, hugging herself as she stares down at her feet, processing what had just happened. What her sister had done. What she had done to everyone she knew. What she had done to Setsuka and Hibiki herself.

Why she had done it.

She had done it for her.

She had done it to keep Hibiki to herself.

She had done it because she both loved and hated Hibiki.

And the people that had been hurt because of Kanade…was because of her. Because of Hibiki. Because of all her bullying and her selfish wants, and because she didn't treat her like she should've treated her as a sister…! Because she's a horrible, awful person that hurt her own family until it was too late, her best friend dead, her sister, dead! All because of her…!!

Hibiki falls to her knees, going into dissociation as everything that she ever thought she knew and was normal shattered like glass."

"Hibiki, for the rest of the killing game, blames herself for what Kanade has done, but with Sora and co.'s help, she's able to rationalize that yes, what she did to Kanade was horrible and none of this may have happened if Hibiki had just bonded with her sister instead of bullying her…but Kanade had also made her own decisions, alienating Hibiki's friends and support from her to try and isolate her so she can try and force her to rely on her and her alone. Hibiki had done a lot of wrong that she probably can't ever make up now that Kanade is dead, but that doesn't excuse the awful actions Kanade has done either as many people were hurt from her own actions, one even losing his job and others probably traumatized from what she did to them. They were both toxic to each other and so long as neither of them were changing, that cycle was only going to continue until something broke between them…and this just so happened to be it. It's just horrible that it also ended in Setsuka's death alongside Kanade's, who was just as much a victim as she was a perpetrator."

"As for the reveal in Chapter 6, I was thinking of two options for Hibiki and Kanade's relationship:

The two of them, despite years [of] staying together as sisters and as a part of Melody Rhythm, only ended up falling apart as their toxicity turned their head as one of Kanade's past victims, their childhood friend, decides to finally come out and reveal everything Kanade has done to her and other people, even providing evidence of what she did. And the moment Hibiki found out about it, a public argument breaks out between them and Kanade finally spills out everything about her feelings on Hibiki, which only hurts both of them as Kanade had tried so hard to isolate Hibiki from other people while Hibiki had only hurt and bully her sister out of jealousy for years. But this? This was enough for Hibiki to stand up and go, "We're done here." And she leaves, cutting ties with Kanade for the shit she's done to others but also left reeling at the revelation of what her bullying and abuse had done to her sister. Was this…her fault? She wasn't sure. But she knew [she] had to make things right somehow, even if it's only for herself, reflecting on her behavior and reaching out to those that were hurt by Kanade, apologizing for everything that had happened even though it wasn't her fault that she chose to do the things she did and tried to make it up to them…if they want her, at least. [Meanwhile,] Kanade is PISSED that her sister left her, who went as far as to block her from her phone and even ending their contract as Melody Rhythm as she's left to deal with the fallout of the media bashing her for what she's done…but as time went on, Kanade is able to pick up the pieces and strikes out on her own, telling herself that she doesn't need Hibiki or the people that criticizes her for what she's done. She can do this by herself! She never openly apologizes, but she never says outright that she's happy with how things had turned out either, despite getting her career back on track…eventually."

"And then the Tragedy happens, they lose their parents, and one of two things happen.

Either 1.) the Tragedy brings them back together, with them starting off very reluctantly working together to do charities to help those in need, only to slowly and carefully rebuild their relationship while trying very hard not to fall back into bad habits as Hibiki admits that yeah, she's done a lot of horrible things to Kanade and she IS sorry for that…but she won't let Kanade hurt anyone anymore. She's trying very hard to be patient with her sister, as they know the Tragedy is a horrible thing to go through, they even lost their parents from it…but if they want to make things work, then something has to change between them, even if Hibiki is the only one taking the initiative FOR the change. Kanade is very reluctant to admit that she was EVER in the wrong for what she did…but as they continue work and bicker over the concerts they put together, their different ideas colliding but somehow coming together with the help of their coordinator, they start to…actually bond again. They start to talk things out, Hibiki is actually trying to show interest in her hobbies and the things she likes, and while she can never bring herself to like the same things she does, she's trying to be respectful and give her the time of day this time. She's trying to make things right for her, so long as Kanade never does the things she did again. And while Kanade doesn't like the same things Hibiki does, it's still a bond Hibiki is trying to nurture…and it makes Kanade question if what she did was ever necessary, that if she had just stood her ground, let Hibiki form her own relationships while searching for her own friends that she can rely [on] like the ones she had now…then maybe none of this would have happen. Maybe they could've remain as sisters, forever, if she just accepted their differences and tried to break away and do her own thing, while letting Hibiki grow as a person [as I think if Hibiki was allowed to bond with other people, she would've grew out of her bullying and become a better person, but because she never had the chance or had people that would stand up to her and let her experience the consequences of her own actions, she never grew out of that mindset as she was never put in her place before]…

[And then the killing game happens, reverts them back to their teenage selves, and they start their toxic cycle all over again until one of them literally kills and gets executed for it.]"

"Or 2.), Kanade and Hibiki remain separate, as not even the Tragedy and the death of their own parents can bring them together. Their parents funeral, one they tried to arrange anyways, only escalates into another argument, with Hibiki changing as a person…but Kanade did not. She still feels entitled to be Hibiki's one and only sister, her one and only support, and Hibiki recognizes that, deciding that it was safer that they stay separated as she NEVER wants to risk anyone else she loves coming to harm thanks to Kanade. The two part ways, with the both of them doing their own separate charity events, with Hibiki proclaiming that Kanade Otonokoji is not her sister, [not anymore], while Kanade proclaims that Hibiki Otonokoji will always be her sister, and refuses to acknowledge the fact that she had been disowned and will continue to be disowned for the rest of their lives."

"Either way, Hibiki is depressed to realize that their future together was never forever, and Hibiki had lost her sister…one way or another."

And that's it! That's the concept rewrite, plus the sprite edits since Kanade and Hibiki are no longer together as sisters and as a band outside of the Neo World Program, so their appearances reflect on that as they pursue their own solo careers. They're no longer trying to match each other, and Kanade pursues her own rock and metal music.

Oh, and while I was copying and pasting this, I had an idea that Kanade's relationship with Sora could be interesting as she's the only one that Kanade is actually okay with getting close to Hibiki...because Sora shows interests in both of them in their FTEs. She talks to Hibiki in private about her treatment of Kanade and even asked Kanade herself if she was okay as she genuinely cares about her just as much as she cares about Hibiki. This surprises Kanade as no one has ever bothered to look her way before, they always pay more attention to Hibiki than herself. And Sora makes it clear that she's genuine about this, asking her if there's anything she can do to make things better for Kanade when Hibiki is defensive about her actions. It makes Kanade feel...seen, for once in her life, and she actually likes that. So she allows Sora to get close, so long as she promises to continue being her friend, too. It's why Sora succeeds in befriending both twins while Setsuka ended up getting rejected by Kanade in the worse possible way: Setsuka unintentionally added to Kanade's insecurities by focusing mostly on Hibiki and overlooked Kanade's needs as well. She's not doing this out of ill-will, far from it. It's just that she recognized that Hibiki is a little weaker in her mental strength and her breakdowns were far easier to notice while Kanade was able to keep a cool head most of the time. So Setsuka prioritizes on supporting Hibiki first and foremost, thinking that Kanade can handle herself fine on her own. She's not completely wrong...but she's not right, either. By the time she finally notices that Kanade is hurting and reaches out to support her, it's already too late as she's finally reached her breaking point and snapped, which resulted in her own death. Just a little something to tie this whole thing off.

[differenteagletragedy]

would you be ever so kind as to spare some OL2 headcanons or crumbs 🤲🤲

If you don’t wanna write for OL2 then OLBA is just as amazing!!!!!!

Hi! I will eventually write for OL2 I'm sure, but I haven't gotten through the demo yet! Right now I'm at the beginning of the first day of school -- I keep getting pulled back into the first one because it has such a chokehold on me lol.

But I was writing these for OLBA so I'll put them here! Thank you!!!

-- Do you like trashy reality shows? Good for you. Cove's not really into it, but he'll watch with you if you want him to. Derek can definitely have some fun with it. But Baxter turns into a monster.

MC answering their phone: Hey, what's up?

Baxter: DID YOU SEE, *this person* from *this show* got arrested.

MC: Aren't you supposed to be working?

Baxter: I saved the mug shot to my photos, I am sending it to you via text right now.

(Client in the background complaining)

Baxter: I do have to get off the phone now, but if you hear anything else call the office and tell them it's an emergency, they'll put you through to me.

-- If you go the Derek romance route, I think you make out once in high school. Because hormones, you've crushed on each other for years, and like it just happens. And then after he's very unwell, he keeps apologizing, and either your really shy and nervous about it or like "no it's ok, that was nice," but either way he's like "HAVE TO GO, TTYL." He doesn't talk to you for a little bit but then feels bad.

MC: Derek, I like you in a romantic way. I want you to be my boyfriend. I liked kissing you and I want to kiss you again.

Derek: Haha that was crazy, so how's school going?

-- Derek is good with cars. Big muscles make car go vroom.

Like there would have been a time when you got a flat tire and you either didn't know how to change it or blanked on what Cliff told you (Cliff taught you how to change a tire, no questions) and called him like "help" and he dropped everything and drove to wherever you were to change it for you.

-- He's also good with mechanical fixes, and just with his hands in general. Is your sink messed up? Call Derek. Some issue with your stove? Call Derek. Creaky door? You already know. (You have to do stuff for him too though, that's the rules).

-- Back to Cliff though, you know those videos of men like "I'm going to teach you some dad stuff" for people who grew up without dads? That's Cliff. Obviously your moms are amazing, but Daddy Cliff is going to step in too sometimes.

-- Cliff teaching MC how to tie a tie, just imagine.

-- Baxter goes home alone after Miranda's birthday party/the second party for him and finishes off that bottle of champagne because he knows that summer's almost over and he's going to do A Bad Thing and he hates himself.

-- Honestly it hurt my feelings so much at the end of Step 3 lol, like I was genuinely taken aback by his goodbye scene. Asking MC why they'd keep talking when he couldn't give them rides anymore like that's all they were interested in, the audacity.

-- Cove has the whole game, he's gonna be ok, we're talking about other people this time.

-- In adulthood, MC looks back at that time they learned their birth parents died when they were a baby, had a quick breakdown then went back home and did a musical performance for their family as one of the cringiest moments of their life (I'm not using second person this time because I don't want to sound judgey but LOL come on). They'll tell Derek about it later on when they're together and he'll be like "aww, that sounds sweet," and Baxter will be nice about it too, but he'll also have some comments to make.

Baxter: Darling, my plant at the office seems to be dying, could you perhaps do a song and dance number to ease my pain?

MC: Shut uuuuuup.

-- Last week gb patch made a post on Patreon with a new sketch for OLNF with wedding planner Baxter, so like the oldest Baxter we'll see in cannon, and he was wearing a cream turtleneck, a purple overcoat, and what looked to me to be a peach colored gingham suit. So by the time he gets to be like 40, his fashion sense is going to be off the rails. He's going to call you and be like "I just went shopping, I hope you like my new look," and come home like:

[shortpplfedup]

Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 10

We're in the final act now, as Jojo n'em focus on 'Redemption'. Last week y'all tapped Nick as the most honest in reckoning with himself, and now it's everybody else's turn for a reckoning.

🔺1. Boeing (2)

You're totally his type. Like an upgraded version of me.

Walk in, fuck shit up, that's the Boeing way, and I am GAGGING for it. I don't have a clue who the target is or what his game is or exactly but he is playing it EXPERTLY. Is he trying to get Top back? Is he trying to get back at Top? Where does next week's Sand diversion fit in? DID HE AND MEW REVENGE FUCK I NEED TO KNOW?! (I ALSO NEED TO SEE!).

🔻2. Nick (1)

Don't we deserve each other?

Nikolai my stalker baby, why did my heart swell three sizes when you got your man? Honesty remains the best policy, and owning your own shit is a fast track to understanding and accepting others. Nick tried, he genuinely gave Daddy Dan an honest and fair chance, and it COULD have been something, but the heart wants what it wants and Nick's heart wants Boston. The look on his face when he saw his photo as Boston's lockscreen, the way he BAWLED when Boston admitted he missed him...peak romance I tell you.

🔺3. Boston (4)

I don't usually take good care of what I own.

I'm not really meta-ing about this show, but the PRECISION with which Jojo n'em sliced and diced the audience's slut-shaming ways via this character got me. I am INCANDESCENT on Boston's behalf that his so-called friends were so willing to believe Atom's nasty little lies. Because Boston might be a slut, and he might have gone a little Top crazy, and he might stir up some drama when he's feeling some typa way, but he's not a sexual predator, and HE DOESN'T LIE. And despite it all people who call themselves friends to him SHOULD know that. He shouldn't have fucked Atom yes, but Atom straight up asked to get fucked. Boston DOES have lessons to learn about controlling his impulses and filtering the things that come out of his mouth, but these hypocrites ain't the ones to teach him. I'm glad that Nick got over himself last week just in time to be there when Boston truly needed him, and I hope that if they decide to try a relationship that Nick keeps the letting-Boston-be-Boston energy he's discovered.

⭐4. Ray's Dad

Ray's Dad in his one prior appearance seemed like a man at the end of his rope, and I'm glad my thinking was borne out. This story keeps telling us that nobody is a monster, nobody is a villain, everybody is just a person, and Ray's dad is a person like all the rest of them: he cared about his wife, he's watched helplessly and increasingly angrily as his son went down the same path, but he didn't know how to get through to him because he's limited, as we all are, so he did a lot of the wrong thing. I don't think paying Sand to get Ray into rehab was the wrong thing though, that was the act of a desperate man. Him giving Ray the straight dope about how to treat people was a long overdue fatherly lesson. Has he been neglectful? Indubitably. But I'm rooting for him.

🔻5. Sand (3)

Do you think I’m a man with no dignity?

Sand is the beneficiary of me being salty about Mew and Ray joining the 'I saw Goodie Proctor with the devil' mini-mob, but I could have TOLD him that a man who continuously and repeatedly calls you a whore is going to believe the absolute worst about you when the chips are down. I'm lowkey mad he gave back the money, because Ray is gonna call him a whore whether or not he's getting paid. I know Sand lives for the drama sparkle Ray brings to his otherwise dull life, but come ON dude.

🔺6. Mew (7)

If you blow it again this time, I'll blame myself for being dumb enough to trust you.

Mew joining in the fun with Boeing is probably gonna bite him somehow but right now I am LIVINGGGGG. Mew keeping Top up at night staring at the ceiling on a regular basis is the only way I'm gonna truly enjoy them being together, because game recognising game is my favourite brand of toxic relationship. If these two spend the next 50 years trying to get one over on each other I will be so satisfied.

🔻7. Ray (5)

I'm not addicted to alcohol. I can stop whenever I want.

Ray spending the entire episode in various stages of denial, his irritation with the idea of rehab and refusal to take it seriously, that explosion that was ALWAYS coming at Sand, and his final, quiet realisation that he has a fucking problem and he needs to fix it to stop hurting the people around him was phenomenal television, anchored by a bravura performance by Khaotung. Ray is gonna have a lot of amends to make once he starts drying out, including saying everything he said to his therapist directly to Sand. Can he truly change? Let's see.

🔻8. Top (6)

I'm sure if he stops being mad at me, we can make it long-term.

I finally figured out why no matter what I'll NEVER like Top and he doesn't pass the vibe check: his instincts and reactions are to lie, hide and cheat when he doesn't feel on top of things. He and Boeing may not be fuckin', but whatever is going on there smells like deceit and mendacity, and he is DESPERATE to hide it from Mew. The look on his face when Boeing is around is exactly how he looked around Boston after that car. Give me an honest slut over whatever this is any day of the week and twice on Sundays. I keep saying that Mew is part of Top's self-actualization, and the way he talks about him with Boeing in this ep just adds fuel to my fire. Is that enough to sustain a long-lasting and successful relationship, absolutely, so many couples are JUST like this.

🔺9. Cheum (12)

Find your own way to graduate. And we will forget we were once friends with you.

OOH this girl pisses me off. Having finally decided to mind the business that pays her, mostly because she's annoyed Atom seems to prefer talking to Boston than talking to her, she's all too willing to believe Atom's lies about Boston and run up pointing her j'accuse finger. I genuinely can't get over how UGLY that scene at Boston's was, how Cheum pulled out some of the same shit that gets levelled at queer men, promiscuous or not, and threw it all at Boston. When she said she didn't believe that Atom was the aggressor because he likes girls, that hit me in the fucking chest. Boston must have done something to Atom. He must have coerced him, blackmailed him, forced him, right? It's so grotesque.

🔻10. Atom (9)

Getting my heart broken by a girl won't kill me.

Speaking of grotesque, what a nasty bit of business this was. Hurt people hurt people, that's kind of the whole ethos of this show, and the lies Atom told were designed to ruin Boston's life like he feels Boston ruined his by GIVING HIM EXACTLY WHAT HE ASKED FOR. I very much doubt Atom is gonna stop at Cheum too, he's out to destroy, and spreading around this kind of shit about somebody who's already judged for being 1) queer and 2) promiscuous is absolutely destructive. This shit was the vilest thing anybody has done on this show by a country mile.

[turbulenthandholding]

👀 just wondering if you’re writing anything these days!

1. Hi, hello, thank you for the ask @anxietycroissant! ❤️

2. I am...or I am trying! I am about 16,000 words into what is probably going to be a pretty long fic. It's an unexpected pregnancy/speed-run-the-relationship Sydcarmy and I am happy to be writing it because it's what my brain wants to read but it alternately falls out of my head and gives me great angst. I had been pretty blocked for more than a week but 3000 words fell out of my head like nothing last night which was a nice surprise.

Excerpt (Syd and Carmy are at IKEA):

“Sammy, right? Weren't you Carmy's sous?”

Sydney looks up to see Claire standing before her. “Claire. Hi. It's Sydney, actually,” she says and rises. Claire's eyes fall to Syd’s abdomen. “And I'm his CDC now.”

“Oh, that's so cute!” Claire says, her eyes falling to Syd’s belly. “You finally got over your weird obsession with Carmy and moved on,” Claire says. “Congratulations!”

“Weird obsession?” Syd asks. She feels pinned again like she did the first night she met Claire during the reno, glared at for reasons Syd at least thinks she understands now. Jealousy, and this time, lingering anger at her breakup with Carmy, which Claire lobs at Sydney like a knife.

Syd struggles to respond. “Sorry...are you like here to look at a couch? Or like, eat some meatballs? Sorry.”

“How do you feel about a lingonberry juice box?” Carmy asks Syd as he returns, focused, unaware, unwrapping and inserting the straw as he moves to hand it to her. “Got some water too,” he says, finally engaging with the scene in front of him.

“Carm, hi,” Claire says, features pinching. Syd takes a sip from the straw.

“Uhh, hey, Claire,” Carmy returns. He slips his arm around Syd, possessive fingers digging into her hip. A united front.

“Just one…” Claire begins. “Did this, uh, overla…how far along are you?”

“Due at the end of February,” Syd says.

Claire calculates, glares at Carmy. “You didn't waste any time.”

Carmy shrugs.

“Well, this is just so fucking precious,” Claire says through clenched teeth. “I guess when you said you didn't have space for fun or enjoyment in your life, you really just meant you don't have space for me. Cool. Cool. That's just…I’ll see you around, Bear. Good luck with whatever.” She slings her bag over her shoulder and stalks off back towards the escalators.

“Uhh,” Syd says, before taking a last drink from her juice box. The lingonberry juice is good, a little tart cutting through the sweetness. The box scrunches and crunches in her hand and makes the sound that juice boxes do when they are finished. “Sorry, that was loud. And just like…sorry that, uh, this happened.”

(2.5 - I could probably use an alpha reader if any of my Sydcarmy mutuals wants to take a look and tell me if it's bad or that I'm crazy because it could very well be!)

3. I'm also working on a soul mark/soul scar Sydcarmy. It's probably about 3k words so far but I put it to the side because I realized I had a huge plot hole and haven't quite figured out how to come back from it yet.

Excerpt:

Sydney gets really good at applying foundation to her arms, pressing it in with setting powder to help keep it waterproof just in case. The number of tattoos gracing her arms has been growing exponentially over the last few months. There's a pyrex measuring cup holding the whole world, a couple of angels, a fish. S-O-U on the fingers of her hand. She's a senior in high school on track to graduate with honors and the body art would be a distraction, a mark against her. An indication that she's not serious enough to do anything other than make terrible decisions or jeopardize her future; a constant, tangible reminder that she doesn't have the grace about things like this than people whose skin is lighter than hers. She wishes she didn't care. But she does, so she covers them up every day in a routine that feels like it has become her religion. She wears button-down shirts with long sleeves secured at her wrists most days, even when the heat and humidity in Chicago are oppressive. Counts the seconds until she can go to the CIA where maybe the sight of Schrödinger’s tattoos (simultaneously hers and not hers) won't hold her back.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Can I rant at you please because my eras tour show is in exactly two weeks and I am freaking out!!!!!!

So context I got tickets for two shows but had to sell one of them because i couldn't afford it.

Now I am so scared I sold the wrong ones, what if they have a better view? What if the sound tower is in the way of my view? That tower haunts my dreams I swear because I am like 99% sure that they do block my view and I'm so scared. What if they get better surprise songs than me?

I know I'll have a good time anyway and it doesn't really matter but I think I might break down crying if I get there and can't actually see the stage.

Taylor means so much to me I am not even exaggerating I love her so much she's my everything so I'm kind of putting pressure on this to be perfect but I know that that will lead me to disappointment but I can't stop because I think of that stupid sound tower literally everywhere I go.

I'm not good with crowds and noise so I NEVER EVER go to concerts. Taylor is literally the only person I would ever go to a concert for and this is my first one so I will be so sad if I can't see her but I already sold the other tickets and sorted my travel out for my show and stuff so I can't change it ?? I'm dying!!! I am also neuro divergent and I'm scared I'll have a meltdown and have to leave and I don't know how good Wembley is at handling that stuff

What if my tickets don't work? What if my bag is too big or there is something in there I can't take in but forgot that I'm not allowed and they don't even let me in?

I'm in section 220 and sold seats in 515 which I thought was a good idea because 220 is closer but 515 is more center onto the stage and I didn't think of that while I was deciding and now I'm regretting it.

Also what if they're sold out of the merch I want? What if I'm behind someone with a sign or those big hats? What if my section is so dead not singing because if it is I would be so self conscious to be the only one singing so I wouldn't and that would be so sad. What if it's the other way and there is someone SCREECHING next to me.

I'm so anxious and I'm scared I will ruin this for myself which I really don't want to do because this is literally my dream and I don't know if I'll have the money to go next time she's on tour I'm so scared it's not going to be perfect but if I put too much pressure on it I'll be disappointed whatever happens.

Also I never wear dresses but I am to this (evermore dress and cloak) and I'm scared I'll feel really self conscious wearing it in public and stuff (being plus-sized will kill me to death I swear). Also I am hyper-sweaty so I'm scared I will smell because there will be a lot of dancing and jumping

This was long but everyone else thinks I'm crazy for caring so much about a concert but they don't understand what tay means to be she's saved my life about a gazillion times and comforts me more than anyone (through her music obviously I'm not friends with her). I'm just so nervous

Also this is Greece anon btw as well (that trip was so fun as well I got back last week I had such a great time)

Thanks for letting me rant at you ig and sorry this was so long

Hi hon!

First of all, next time you have Taylor tickets to sell, I'm your guy, alright? :P

Let's talk through some of your fears:

The sound tower- I'm pretty sure those seats that are obstructed by the tower have to be sold as obstructed. But if they aren't, there are a few solutions to this. First, you can ask a staff member if it's possible to move to an empty seat (there will be empty seats. there were at my concert date, because of stupid ticket resellers), second, you can use the big screens to see anything you miss, and third, you can walk around to find a spot to stand at. A lot of people at my date stood in places that weren't even their seats.

Surprise songs- your surprise songs will mean the world to you because they are yours. I didn't get DBATC as my surprise song, which was my dream, but literally every time my surprise songs come on, I get so excited because they were MINE. They'll hold a special place in your heart no matter what they are.

Seat locations- 220 is better than 515, definitely. You made the right choice.

Neurodivergency/crowds- I'm also neurodivergent and the crowds werent that bad- the only time I struggled a bit was in the merch line. Other than that, it was very controlled. If you're worried, you could also get loop ear plugs? I got those and it helped with noise. I'd also suggest cough drops because singing for 3 hours hurts the throat lol.

Tickets/bags- your tickets will work, hon. those horror stories are just that- horror stories. And if you accidentally bring something you're not supposed to, they'll just throw it out, they won't kick you out.

Merch- I got in the merch line during the openers and I got a size 2x blue crewneck no problem <3

The crowd- I don't remember the crowd at all during my show. I don't remember if people were screaming or not saying a word. I just remember that I was screaming. Ignore the crowd and focus on you, hon. Screw everyone else. You don't know these people! Who cares if they think you're too loud or too sweaty. If they think that, they're spending their time judging you instead of simping over Taylor and I feel bad for them

On the outfit. You will slay. Dress in layers, take a cute picture at the beginning, and then don't worry if you end up looking like trash. By the end of the night, the best Swifties will have mascara running down their cheeks and ruined hair from sweating from jumping. AS. THEY. SHOULD.

I totally understand all the overthinking. But when you get in there, it's all gonna go away. I promise, all you'll be able to think about is how amazing it is <3

[saltyr3mix]

Outsider smp Owen hair head cannons: I've had thoughts about this and wanted to share. Ok so, Owens Minecraft skin that he uses in the smp has hair buns. and i will die on this hill. I think through the entire time in the maze Owen had space buns or pigtails.

Owen is also like 35. So there is a 35 year old man. traumatized by being a child soldier and war criminal....even if he doesn't know it at first. And he wears space buns. I don't know why but that makes me so incredibly happy.

And also this means hes matching with Apo and Magic. Who also have their hair tied up in a similar way.

If you want my full personal head cannon. Owen didn't know what to do with his hair at all when he first entered. At first it wasn't even long enough to tie up. But months passed and he was getting extremely annoyed when it would fall into his eyes while training or stick to the back of his neck after long days in the maze. He was complaining to Apo about this one day and Apo's like. Hold on man i've got this.

The demon comes back with some twine, thin cloth. Or whatever the closest to rubber bands that they have in the clearing. And does Owen's hair up in buns. Owen laughs at first thinking he looks slightly ridiculous. But slowly learns to love them. when they eventually fall out he goes back to Apo asking to do them up again. Apo eventually teaches him how to do it himself and the pair have matching buns through out the more peaceful time of clearing. Sometimes they even dragged Rasbi in. They often placed flowers and other pretty forestry in each other's buns as decoration.

Flash forward several months/ years depending on what you believe. And Magic enters the scene. Owen wants nothing to do with Apo at the moment because he was lied and betrayed to by the demon. One day he comes out with his hair down, everyone a bit surprised they hadn't seen it like this scene the very early days of the clearing. Magic figures out that he's upset and offers to help. He needing something to distract himself and not wanting to have to deal with the mess of long hair in his face when entering the maze, lets the younger mess with his hair. Magic tries a a few styles, just some funny ones to cheer him up a bit. even threatening to dye it crazy colors. In the end Owens hair is up in buns again. But whereas Apo's were small and tight better for just keeping the hair from being a bother. Magics had more volume and airy. They were more for display than function. But he wore them around anyways to match magic and even use them to make fun of her at times. Only it would always end up backfiring. He no longer puts flowers in them. Flash forward again and Owens is cleaning Apo's blood off his spear. In the reflection he sees the buns and flash back to soldier rules on hair length kick in. He picks up some sheers and cuts it all off down to appropriate length. The others cant tell if that was a good or bad thing. Magic is a bit upset they don't match anymore. But Owen assures her that it was only having hair that long was bothering him. By the time Owens locked up having committed multiple murders his hairs a bit out grown again. Not helping with the heat. He can't help but hate that it only proves how much hes fallen from his soldier glory.

Anyway, i also think at one point he dyed a streak of his hair orange. It might have even been a prank on him from either Oeca or Apo that dyed his hair that way. But it didn't stick around only last for a handful of weeks.

And yeah! Outsiders may be long over but i've finally found a place to talk about it so im going to! Sorry not Sorry for the rant he means a lot to me. And if you like this idea let me know.....i might write a fic about it....i've certainly thought about it but idk if i would have the time.

[cheese-ducks]

TWRP ORIGINS

Chapter 7: I Can't Believe This Is My Life

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(Warnings: descriptions of anxiety)

Jack woke up feeling well rested, something he hadn't done in a while. Stan on the other hand was slightly hungover from the party last night.

"Hey, brah." Stan opened the door, his voice sounding slightly groggy. "Feeling better about the show?"

Oh right, the show. Guilt swirled into Jack's stomach at the mere mention of the concert. "I guess a little, again, I'm super sorry about missing it."

"Dude, it's no prob. Get that through your nerdy little head!" His insistence didn't make the guilt completely disappear, but Jack quietly laughed at the phrasing. 

"Thanks." He replied sarcastically. 

Jack checked the status of the house as Stan drifted to his bedroom. His parents' cars were absent from the driveway and his brother was definitely out of commission. The coast was clear. 

"So how did enrichment time go?" Jack's hushed voice barely breaking a whisper.

"It was incredibly enlightening!" Sung's voice was crystal clear in his head. It didn't feel as weird as he thought it would. "I have never felt more ascendant in my life!"

"To be honest I'm feeling pretty ascended myself, it's nice to know we both had a good night." 

He could vaguely recall Sung's night. Sung handed out the gifts, his mini fridge got destroyed by the robot from the parking lot, and they just had a good time. He remembered the feeling more clearly than the event itself, that was the part that felt weird. 

"And it's also good to know I am not crazy." His eyes darted around the room as he reconsidered his statement. "Well," he laughed awkwardly thinking about the last week and a half. "Uh, I wasn't wrong. I won't say that I'm not crazy, but I wasn't missing anything the other day. So yeah, that makes sense." 

Day one of sharing a vessel had officially started. 

.........................................................................

It was a pretty uneventful day, which was probably good for the first one. Jack mostly hung around the house doing various chores that Stan was supposed to be doing, if not for his currently hungover state. He figured it was the least he could do after missing the show. Sung was actually good company during the mundane activities, often asking questions about anything and everything. It brought a sense of wonder Jack didn't think was possible while washing dishes and vacuuming the floors. 

"Y'know, normally chores are super boring but it's actually been kind of fun with you around." Jack said as he finished sweeping the kitchen.

"Annihilating boredom is what I do best." Sung gloated for a bit. "Wait, these tasks usually inflict boredom?" His tone was much more concerned now. 

"Uh, yeah. It's chores." Jack replied with confusion.

"How often do you have to complete them?"

"Probably once a week, at least." His casual tone had Sung reeling. 

"Fascinating. Perhaps humans have a higher tolerance for boredom than most beings." 

"Maybe," He shrugged as he put the broom away and sat on the couch. "Because I probably should have taken a break an hour ago but I just wanna get this over with."

"Well it's very heroic of you to protect your brother from the forces of boredom while he recovers." 

"I guess boredom is a little bit different on Earth. It isn't some evil force to be destroyed, it just kinda happens sometimes." 

Sung's silence spoke volumes like he hadn't considered that before, or he was afraid to tell his band mates. Feeling his emotions was still weird, but Jack continued.

"And I mean you're not gonna kill boredom by staying hidden all the time. Why not do some busking or something?"

"What is that?"

"Oh, it's when you play music on the street, sometimes for money, the idea of it makes me nervous as hell." 

Sung considered it for a while before he answered. 

"Bringing amusement and joy to the masses in guerilla style warfare against boredom, it's brilliant! I will tell my band mates at once!"

.........................................................................

The first show on Earth, the first time these humans would be saved from the clutches of boredom! Everything was set up and poised to dominate. Havve's drum machine and the few amps they could bring were in place, Phobos' guitar case was set just in front so that people could give them money. It was all ready, and yet Sung was terrified. It was incredibly strange. He was sweating, his stomach hurt, he wanted to bite his hands; the most confusing of the symptoms. Being in front of the small crowd that had gathered out of curiosity felt wrong somehow. The strangest part was the all-encompassing force begging him not to play. Music was the one thing that brought him joy, how could he be scared to do it? He'd never felt like this before. Regardless he had a world to save so the boys began to play. Sung could feel the crowd's reactions. There was an initial state of bewilderment but most people who saw them began to dance and have fun. There was about 15 people in the crowd but all 15 minds were blown. As the show went on Sung's nerves still persisted. It slightly dissipated as the set progressed but it was still overwhelmingly present. Seeing how much fun his band mates were having helped it dissipate. Meouch was feeling the happiest he'd been since they crash landed, every riff and lick filled with passion and joy. Phobos was nervous at first due to the oxygen levels and general atmosphere, so he wore his helmet outside the ship as a precaution, but even through his metallic silicone mask Sung knew he was having a blast. Havve was executing each beat perfectly but there was an energy to his playing he hadn't seen in a while. It's as if the crowd was supplying him with the resolve to keep playing, as if he liked entertaining them. It was the most fun they'd ever had on this planet. This was truly special. 

The energy slowly faded as the night went on. Coming down from the high of performing was never an issue for Sung, but today he felt a massive weight off his shoulders. He was playing music with his friends all night, something that never scared him before. Why was he scared  now?

"Are you gonna help us, fearless leader?" 

Meouch's sarcastic remark snapped him out of his daze. 

"Of course I will, I'm just lost in thought I guess." He still wasn't completely focused on the task at hand. The question was a dark presence in his mind over the otherwise cheerful cleanup. He racked his brain for what could've caused the unprecedented negative emotions, until suddenly he remembered what the human had said.

"the idea of it makes me nervous as hell." 

It was him. 

.........................................................................

Jack came to in his bedroom. It sucked but at least he knew why he was blacked out at all. His bedroom window was open all the way, letting in the cool summer air. 

"Please remember close my window, man." Jack complained, assuming Sung was back in his head. 

"Who are you talking to?" 

He jumped at the sound of Stan's voice, he looked significantly better than this morning. Jack forgot that he was essentially talking to himself.

"Oh, um..." It was best to be at least semi honest, right? "I'm just mumbling to myself, so I don't forget anything." 

Stan looked a bit confused but overall he didn't suspect a thing.

"Well if it works, bud." He did a double take as he was about to leave the room. "Speaking of forgetting stuff where's your fridge?" Stan asked.

"I finally threw it out." There was a pride to his semi lie. It was kind of thrilling living this weird double life. 

"Good for you. Night, brah." 

"Night, brah."

He climbed into bed feeling completely normal for a change. Day one of sharing a vessel went off without a hitch, so far Jack was able to live his life and Sung was able to live his. There was still the blacking out part that he didn't care for at all, but he could talk to Sung about that in the morning. For right now he was optimistic about his secret double life and content to sleep thinking about what could be in store. He couldn't sleep however because Sung was right next to his face, glaring at him with deadly serious eyes. Jack flinched so hard he nearly fell out of bed. 

"What the fuck, man!" Though frightened at Sung's unmasked form, Jack still kept a hushed tone. 

"In the nicest way possible, what have you done to me, human?"

[mr-stottlemonk]

i never understand how can someone be obsessed with a show for the longest time (i mean this in the nicest way possible!) like i watch a show, obsess for a few weeks and then just forget about it no matter how GOOD it was. and sometimes i just HATE the show and the characters after obsessing over them.

its weird i don't know how to explain it, but i hyperfixate and spend like 3 weeks knowing everything about the show/actors reading and watching all the interviews, and don't think about anything at all except for the show the whole month. i legit don't get out too! and then BOOM!

I HATE YOU STUPID SHOW🤬IM SICK OF YOU NOW🤬

and then oh i feel so empty for two weeks

then i find another show.. i think you know how it goes now..

im really sorry if this was long:( im just really impressed at how someone could love a show and not get completely sick of it.

i used to LOVE your blog and spend so much time on it when i was obsessed with monk, i still love your blog!and you're super nice:p but kind of got sick of the show unfortunately.

hi my dear!

so, so sorry i took forever to reply to this one. i was (still kind of am) working through a burn out so i didn't want to answer you all lackluster.

anyway: as a person who has been in fandom for about a decade i can tell you i definitely feel this. i think it banks a lot on comfort. i definitely re-watch old shows over and over until i know the dialogue, and have to stop because it takes over my life due to me watching the show i'm obsessed with for over half a year.

after a while, for some people it's pretty common to get fed up of seeing their face or even thinking about them. i remember in 2012, watching thor 2011 for a WHOLE YEAR everyday (yeah, crazy, i know) and i obsessed over the whole thing for about... 6 years? after that, i had a hard time even looking at him or the actors lol. i haven't been able to look at loki the same since either. though, my love for him and the thor movies is coming back after a long time, it's VERY, VERY slow going...

it's quite the cycle, you're right. but i think the most important thing of it all - the obsessing and the hyperfixating - is to just have fun for as long as it lasts and when it dies out, go through the whole *VOID SWALLOW ME I AM HOLLOW AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M GOING TO LIVE* process because, honestly, you'll find something else 99.8% of the time v.v

no worries about the whole ask being too long! and once again, my apologies for taking so long to reply. i'm glad to have given you that semblance of joy and a space where you could let your mr. monk hyperfixating out! even if it's gone now, that's all fine and good <33

thank you for telling me though! it always makes me so happy to hear it! stay safe and take care dear :33 <3.

[huntinglove]

5) what’s the dumbest thing you’ve heard about your f/o, either on the internet or irl?

On f/os!!! Few more better

of ur choice >:)

10) how did you feel when you realized “oh of course i had to like That Character”?

Your most recent f/os please :D

Hi hi!! Thanks for the ask!!

5) What’s the dumbest thing you’ve heard about your F/O, either on the internet or irl? 

"Ice King is just a joke character"

"Simon wasn't important for Adventure Time's lore"

"Tokoyami shouldn't be in class 1A, he's not interesting enough"

"Jinx isn't traumatized or mentally ill, she just wants to get VI's attention"

"Muichiro is just a rude, selfish brat"

"Muriel doesn't like the apprentice, he just felt cornered"

"Hunter was just as cruel and evil as Belos"

"Zebruh shouldn't be a character because he's gross/evil"

"Sebastian doesn't struggle at all and hates Demetrius for no reason"

10) How did you feel when you realized “oh of course I had to like That Character”?

Ice King made me panic a little bit, because I started to like him back when I was an anti and I knew that people were going to be mean about it.

It lasted a week, until I had to pretend to not F/O him anymore, because I kept getting people sending me asks making fun of me for liking him or commenting on the age gap... But I'm happy to be able to enjoy being with him now!!

Simon was... Pretty obvious. I do have a thing for dorks in glasses, so I was just always really happy and giggly whenever he came on screen, one of my first cartoon crushes!

Tokoyami was a bit surprising, because when I got into MHA I was expecting to be into Aizawa or Iida, but that wasn't the case at all. I just really enjoy his personality and quirk!

Jinx was almost love at first sight, once I saw her after the time skip. I was really entranced by her because we are very similar, I'm just on a tighter leash.

My breakdowns and manic episodes are almost exactly the same as hers, but I'm not able to go out blowing buildings, of course lol

Muichiro kept me waiting. I was curious and had a little crush on him after the finale of season one, then when the new season came out he dragged me by the feet, honestly. He was so powerful and amazing!

Muriel took me a while to get infatuated with. I played through all the routes of The Arcana, but my favorite was definitely Muriel's.

His character development and his personality made me swoon once I got past his tsundere phase

Hunter reminded me of myself and he was a new F/O after a long while without getting new crushes, so it felt like falling in love for the first time all over again!

He always made me smile and I've watched all the episodes he's in, so much so that I've memorized pretty much all of his dialogue lol

Zebruh was the first official F/O I've ever had, because I've always selfshipped, but I didn't know about the community, he's the one who introduced me!!

I got a lot of backlash for liking him when friendsim came out, I've had some pretty big fandom blogs block and make call-outs on me because of him, it was crazy. If you're wondering why, it's because he's "a villain" though in his world he'd just be classified as a douchebag smh

He's also the reason I'm not around a really fucking toxic ex friend anymore, so I'm really grateful that I have him in my life 💙

Sebastian was a "well, I guess I like this one" at first, when I was playing Stardew for the first time, because I i didn't really like the look of any of the other villagers.

Since I was pretty much always mining, I memorized his schedule and would stop by his house to give him quartz!

I noticed that he liked a lot of the same things that I do so I got a little attached to him, then his heart events, our wedding and married life made me genuinely fall in love with him!

[pbandjesse]

I felt a lot better today. Which was really positive because I threw up twice last night and was really upset and in pain. But I started my new medication today and I am really hoping it helps.

I slept alright though. After I threw up I cried a little but James comforted me and I was able to sleep for most of the night. And when I woke up I felt very tired but nothing like I had been. I felt like today was going to be a good day.

I would get washed up and dressed. Felt cute. I like this dress but the skinny straps sometimes dig into my neck which is really annoying. But it's fine. It's a nice dress.

Lane and James were downstairs and they were both really excited when I came down. They had fixed most of the Lego flowers that had fallen down a few weeks ago. And that was exciting. And James had made breakfast to send us off with.

We said goodbye to Lane. I got an extra hug from James. And we all left around the same time.

It was a fine drive. I listened to music and enjoyed my sandwich. And got to camp at 8.

It was a beautiful day. It never got hot and that helped me not feel nauseous I'm sure. I was very careful with myself. But I did make myself go for a walk once I was done setting up. Thankfully the building wasn't to messy so it didn't take long. I would sit in a hammock until 830. And then went for a walk.

I would say good morning to a bunch of people as I walked around. And would walk down to homestead and woodlands and back to my building. I was hoping to see more mushrooms but I only found two, and only the one I photographed was whole. It's been dry the last couple of days so I'm not shocked. But still. Always like finding mushrooms.

I would spend the rest of my little prep hour chilling. And then waiting for my group. Who were running late but would come and would be absolutely lovely. Just such good kids. And they did a great job making their felt collages.

Kieran would come up to deal with the drum that PJ had started soaking last week. It stunk so bad and I just couldn't deal. So I appreciated him handling that. And Geoff and Grady would come up to to bring me some of the materials Geoff has packed from the chickee. I had asked him and Aaron to start bringing materials up to the art building so it's not a crazy clean up on Friday and Saturday. Aaron would never bring anything which makes me worried but I'll ask him again tomorrow.

I had a two hour break. So I went to talk to Elizabeth about this weekend (we have UB law on Saturday) and next week. She isn't sure what's going to happen this weekend because it's going to storm. But for next week I asked if I could lead nature hikes. I think if my nausea settles that it would be both good for me and be fun to walk around.

I rested in my hammock and had my cereal lunch. I got ready for the afternoon. And soon my groups were coming through.

And they were all great. There were a few small issues with counselors being a little. Off? Sending their group to me without any adult and no warning about it. But it's fine. I had fun with the kids and we made good things.

My last group was stockade. They did clay and beads. A few slept in the hammocks. I knit and did some cleaning up. I am not to rushed about cleaning because I'm here next week. But still, I don't want it to be all on one day.

I was glad to be done for the day. I was hungry. I had forgotten my wallet at home so I borrowed from my market cash box. And went to Wawa for a little sandwich.

Traffic wasn't amazing. But I got there in one piece, despite others best efforts. And my sandwich was very quick. I ate in the parking lot.

I wanted to go home. But I also wanted to go to goodwill. So I went to goodwill for a little bit.

And it was a good time. I found a big beanie of the birthday bears I collect! That was pretty cool. I also got some lands end hiking shoes (I have the in 3 other colors) that have sock high tops? I think they will be great in the cold. I also got a door chime and a white shelf with heart cut outs. Just some fun finds.

I paid. The cashier seemed really sad. I wished her a better day. And went home.

Traffic was bad. I would get home by 5. James biked past me and that was exciting. Love seeing my husband in the wild. And they were sitting on our stairs waiting for me once I was parked.

They would jump right into tasks. Making crepes (for me) and pizza (for them) for dinner. We let Crabcake explore his new outside space. The blue tarp is for sure going to have to be cut down because he tried to climb it. But we all enjoyed some outside time.

I started feeling sick again though. I took my new medicine and laid on the couch willing it to work faster.

Eventually food was ready. I was able to eat half before I had to tap out because my stomach hurt. I laid down for a bit. Eventually I went and took a shower and washed my hair and scrubbed everywhere. And started to feel a little better.

James would bring me the other half of my crepes. And I have been hanging out in bed with sweetp since. I am real tired. And I don't feel amazing but it's not as bad. I'm going to go brush my teeth and hopefully that doesn't trigger anything.

I hope tomorrow is a good day. I hope you all have a great day and feel good. I love you all. Sleep good.

[gregorovitch-adler]

The codependency in Johnlock-

I was thinking about this today.

In Many Happy Returns, John says, "I can tell you what to do. You can stop being dead."

He's drinking a lot and he still hasn't moved past the 'please stop being dead' thing since TRF. Everyone else has moved on with their lives but John is still stuck at that point. He's still grieving deeply even after two years.

If Sherlock hadn't returned to London, if he'd actually died, John would've been fixated on that thing for the rest of his life. Sure, he started dating Mary and was going to propose to her in that restaurant but I really don't think he would've been quite invested in that relationship with her

(He's not invested in that relationship with her even in Sherlock's presence but still. You get my point.)

If Sherlock had died, he would've just drunk a lot, with sleepless nights, self blaming, survivor's guilt, etc and his suicidal tendencies would've returned.

He would've married Mary, life would've continued normally (on the surface) and at one point John would've come to about Mary's criminal record. He would've still got to know about that even in that situation because of CAM (or through some other source).

Double heartbreak. John would've been completely alone in this whole world.

He doesn't get along with Harry, he doesn't mention his parents at all- probably they're not in the picture- and he doesn't have any other friends apart from Sherlock. Mike tried to reach out him in ASIP but John's response, in turn, was quite cold.

He wasn't quite keen on continuing his profession as a GP (we'd seen that much in The Blind Banker). He would've gone to his new clinic for some time but he would've done his job in a half-arsed way.

He didn't have any other hobbies either. He'd stopped updated his blog after Sherlock's supposed death.

I believe if Sherlock had died for real with no possibility of coming back, it's quite a high possibility that John would've committed suicide, eventually.

The same thing happens in Series 3. John gets married. Sherlock's drug addiction has relapsed.

J-What kind of case would need you doing this?

S-I might as well ask you why you’ve started cycling to work. (X)

This theme is surprisingly carried over to S4 as well even if that season doesn't feel connected to the rest of the show.

John abandons Sherlock after Mary's death. Sherlock is high out of his mind, weeks away from death, he's going crazy in 221 B.

John is at his own place in The Lying Detective, drinking way too much once again, clearly not okay. He's just this 👌🏻 close to dying as well. (He's grieving for Mary but lack of Sherlock's presence is also a contributory factor).

John has pushed Sherlock away himself and he's actively hating on him in this episode but he even in that state he obviously needs Sherlock (he'd never admit it but it's quite clear that he does).

John's desperation was obvious in the beginning of His Last Vow too.

J-Is it Sherlock Holmes you're looking for? Because I haven't seen him in ages.

M- A month.

He's visibly angry and frustrated at literally everyone who's NOT Sherlock. He's dying to meet him even if it's only been a month since his wedding day.

So what I'm trying to say is, as much as I love Johnlock, I can't overlook this unbelievable amount of codependency in their relationship. It's unhealthy but fun to have a close look at.

You try separating them from each other, they'll become physically miserable and they will throw themselves in front of fatal danger which would eventually lead to their death in quite a short period of time.

I used to think that 'I can't live without you' was supposed to be a cliché. Just an exaggeration that people say to their significant others.

Apparently that's not the case with Sherlock and John. It becomes quite literal when these two are concerned.

Conclusion- If you write a Holmes adaptation or a story, you don't ever seperate Holmes and Watson from each other. You do that and you watch them die (for real, this isn't even an exaggeration).

D'you know what's actually frustrating?

It's the fact that the creators of this show already knew about this. They were the ones who wrote their version of Holmes and Watson like that and the above mentioned subplots are taken from their show. They wrote it in that way themselves. The codependency and everything.

And yet they did exactly that. Separate Holmes from his Watson, that is (in TST and TLD).

They broke the rules of their own show and that's why here I am, ranting about the show even in 2023 lol.

[loves2spwge]

slides you a 20 dollar bill. gimme your best style fic recs (im new here)

omg! hiii anon. im sorry, im kinda terrible for recs bc i tend to go for more smut kind of fics 🫣. not even a year into sp yet and i still have soooo many fics i want to read!!!!!! but, im just gonna do a quick list for my most favorite style fics 🙇

RATED G

Sleeping Lessons by sleep2thefr33zing

"Hey Stan? Have you thought about seeing a doctor, maybe? Instead of asking your friends to knock you out?" Stan rubs his arm abashedly. It’s not like he doesn’t know he sounds crazy. At this point, he’s desperate. (Or, Kyle is leaving for Harvard and Stan can't sleep)

words: 7,506

Pour my love out, spill it on the ground by sleep2thefr33zing

Recently done with junior year and freshly broken up with Wendy, Stan spends the summer with Kyle.

words: 11,855

RATED T

Digging Two Graves by heelbruiser

Kyle returns home for winter break from his junior year at college, and after some odd years of not speaking, Stan comes over one night and makes a rather strange request for his help in aiding him in revenge. He won't tell him why, and he doesn't particularly care; he's just glad Stan's talking to him again.

words: 10,406

Once, and Only Once by heelbruiser

A very drunk Stan abruptly disturbs Kyle from his sleep to request a late-night ride home.

words: 24,973

You do it to yourself, you do (and that's what really hurts) by sleep2thefr33zing

The night always starts off right. (Or, the way a party with Stan plays out through Kyle's eyes)

words: 5,102

Beauty and the Geek by Godlizza

Kyle, resident nerd, has somehow bagged popular cheerleader Stan as his boyfriend. Aware of their vastly different social statuses, Kyle is determined not to give Stan a reason to dump him, but maybe he should be more worried about just how tall an order dating Stan can be.

words: 7,656 | part of a series

interim by Anonymous

It’s stupid. He’s stupid. He kissed Stan, right in his bedroom after his birthday party, because maybe he wanted to know what it tasted like and maybe he was a little intoxicated and maybe he was afraid that he’d never get the chance again. Maybe he was afraid that if he didn’t do it then, Stan would find out some other way, and then he’d stop talking to him. And that would really be shitty, because they’re not supposed to be away from each other. It doesn’t feel right. The past week has been terrible, few texts from Stan, and maybe he should have thought to make other friends too before he devoted his life to somebody who could ruin it so easily. or: they're in love etc etc

words: 2,829

Friends ̶t̶o̶ and Lovers by Green_Evening

“Hah, okay. Think like this.” Stan gestures vaguely. “Teenage years are like a tutorial… but for real life, ‘n time is running out for you. So here’s me, but not me, hot–girl me, asking you on a practice date.” He watches him for a second, processing the words, then sinks back into bed with a heavy sigh. “It’s too fucking early for this.” Stan kisses him again, gently, tiredly, and there’s no resistance. He snuggles closer. “C'mon. It’ll be soo fun.”

words: 4,464

Science and Art by apollos

The way Stan plays dead is the intersection of science and art, but Kyle's not buying it. High school is over, after all.

words: 16,296 | chapters: 5 | warnings: stan/other, angst with a hopeful ending

RATED M

Seven days of alien summer by applecrumbledore

Stan asked, “What would you say if I told you I got abducted by aliens last night? With Craig, Tweek and Cartman?” Kyle raised his eyebrows. “I’d say that your wet dreams are getting weirdly specific and you should stop telling me about them.”

words: 16,583

Books That Did and Didn't Burn by hollycomb

In high school, Stan's mother thinks his old friend Kyle will be a good influence. Kyle doubts it.

words: 23,301 | chapters: 3

A Lifetime Supply of Crab Wontons by hollycomb

Five times P.F. Chang's has influenced Kyle's emotional development.

words: 4,790

It's Not Your Time by SekritOMG

One morning shortly after his 13th birthday, Stan wakes up in his own future.

words: 64,844 | chapters: 9 | warnings: mentions of infidelity

Stan Mars and The Kyle by Icandigelvis

When pilot Marsh got ready for his shift at the space- and air force facility in Nevada he didn't exactly expect the night to end up with him being the unintentional spokesperson for humanity. Especially when he was trying to communicate with this creature that killed without moving a finger. Fucking Craig and his theory that aliens just looked like DreamWorks guys fishing from the moon. Because really, this alien just looked like a man.

words: 60,521 | chapters: 5

Joyless Street by julads

Suicide in the 21st century.

words: 4,005 | warnings: angst with a hopeful ending

Let It Happen by bloodmage69

If someone were to ask Stan if he was in love with his best friend, he could easily respond with an entire list of reasons as to why that could never happen. However, even if he came up with all of the reasons in the world as to why he shouldn’t be in love with Kyle, that wouldn’t necessarily mean he wasn’t in love with Kyle. It was, of course, much more complicated than that.

words: 57,828 | chapters: 6 | warnings: mentions of a ky/////////mn smooch lolz

We’re Not Really Strangers by haildeleah

Pulling back, Stan stares at him. It lasts for a moment before he bursts out into laughter. “I like that.” “Like what?” Kyle asked, noticing that Stan’s hair had grown longer, a little more unkept. He must’ve freshly shaved today, Kyle smells the citrus of his aftershave. They haven’t been apart for very long, but it felt like an eternity. This was proof that it wasn’t. “How you talk to me like it isn’t the first time we’ve spoken in weeks.” Or: How Stan and Kyle became strangers, and all the ways they realize they could never be.

words: 12,846

RATED E

giving (taking) by kuchi

Kyle somehow always ends up letting Stan lead him into the most amazing sex, even when it's the last thing he'd expect.

words: 2,995 | smut

Feedback by kuchi

A little post-shower playfulness turns out to be an interesting night of firsts for Kyle.

words: 6,010 | chapters: 2 | smut

Light Up by kuchi

Stan is ready to try something new with Kyle.

words: 3,291 | smut | part of a series

Fate Up Against Your Will by SekritOMG

February 14, 2016 // December 24-5, 2015

words: 6,919

Kyle and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by metrophobic

Kyle has the worst luck in the world, and then this asshole won't stop antagonizing him.

words: 11,962 | chapters: 2

I Need Some Space by LozisLaw

Kyle is celestial. Not that kind of gross horror movie alien shit where he lays eggs in people's guts for fertilisation, and not just another way of saying he's goddamn gorgeous. He's kind of a dick. So much of a dick that sometimes Stan thinks he should get surgically dissected by Mephesto to stop those fluttery gut tugs every time those fucking alien eyes stare down at him.

words: 35,704 | chapters: 2

Plain Bread Is Better by Blame Canada (OneHitWondersAnonymous)

Stuck in a life he deigned to lead, Kyle watched each aspect of his life fall to pieces, one by one, cracking beyond recognition. He watched his marriage crumble, his own mind splinter, and his perception of reality warp. Then, that perception became reality, and he was none the wiser. You see, Kyle had himself so thoroughly convinced that something was wrong that he didn't have the capacity to realize that the something that was wrong was maybe, just maybe, himself. Once he saw that self in the mirror, however, in an act of assured self-destruction, he chose to ignore it anyway.

words: 9,308 | warnings: angst with a hopeful ending

Herbert Garrison's Night School for Unwed Fathers by hollycomb

Pregnant and jilted, Henrietta places a vengeful spell on the senior class boys, wanting them to feel her pain. Stan and Kyle are just two of the unwitting victims.

words: 198,135 | chapters: 17 | warnings: mpreg :3

Lessons Learned by Kasen

They’ve been through it all at this point, why bother denying the freakish intimacy of their platonic relationship? They shut themselves in a closet for seven minutes and actually did the deed wherein nothing changed between them (that lasted, anyways); so, what was a few deeds more? No one had to know.

words: 36,862 | chapters: 9

The Truth About Kyle by maxette

Kyle is house sitting while the Marshes are out of town and he decides it's a good idea to masturbate on Stan's bed. Stan comes home early. Oh, and Kyle has a vagina.

words: 6,360 | smut

All To Myself by KirkApologist

Kyle knows about Stan and Craig, and he really shouldn't care... But, he can't help it. Stan belonged to him. A truth that Stan is all too happy to prove.

words: 2,538 | smut | part of a series

Aftermath by Icandigelvis

South Park AU depicting the years the boys grow up, from kindergarten to uni and continuing, with one little addition. It's an omegaverse.

words: 109,498 | chapters: 11 | warnings: A/B/O, mpreg, uhh kyle/others and some stan/others

Small Town Weirdness by fruitloopzed

Summertime, three years after Shelley Marsh’s disappearance. Artist in Residency Kyle Broflovski arrives in the small agricultural town of South Park. Stan Marsh is the rowdy owner of Tegridy Farms. Secrets buried beneath the prairie begin to rise to the surface when infatuation gets the best of them.

words: 67,994 | chapters: 6 | on going!!!!

The Summer of ‘99 by PinkFan_Gurl

Working at a shitty ass gas station isn’t what it’s cracked up to be, especially when all of your friends are making memories off at college, but 19 year old Stan Marsh is determined to make a name for himself. Unfortunately, things don’t go according to plan when two of his band mates suddenly up and quit, leaving him without a drummer and a bassist. Throw the cute redhead that works down at the drive-in into the mix and it’s shaping up to be one unforgettable summer.

words: 32,814 | chapters: 2 | on going!!!

Those Days by hehepoopoo

His idea: “let’s go into that barn and fuck there.” Kyle stares at him, deadpan. “Dude.” Stan grins, “What?” “People could see.” “So?” Kyle stares at him, mouth agape in offense which Stan knows is just for show, catching the way the corners of his lips curl upwards, the ‘yes’ unspoken.  “People could see.” Stan goes to hold him in a way that is too intimate for the public, maybe too romantic, maybe too soft. But Kyle softens completely in his arms, trusting his completely, eyes big and willing. Stan whispers, “what if I want them to.” -- Or: Stan and Kyle fuck in a barn.

words: 3,173 | smut

suspense by stella_lunar

kyle teaches stan about edging

words: 2,627 | smut

Badly Trained by Clayp00L

Kyle hasn’t been showing his pet enough affection after something happened, but he’s finally ready to give him a second chance.

words: 10,739 | chapters: 6 | kind of on going !

I Thought the World of You (I Still Do) by bloodmage69

When they were kids, Kyle had truly thought the world of Stan; he had looked up to him. His best friend had always seemed so goddamned perfect in his eyes. He was a passionate, sensitive, and caring boy who always went out of his way to make Kyle feel like the most important person in the world. But now that he was older, wiser, Kyle could see all the parts of Stan that his child self had turned a blind eye to. His best friend was insecure, cowardly, and selfish. And yet, even as every flaw broke through Kyle’s false reality, he only seemed to fall more in love with Stan.

words: 7,042

The Scenic Route by hollycomb

The boys embark on a six day road trip to California before separating for college. Cartman is a pain in the ass, Kenny has no future, Butters is in crisis, and Kyle doesn't know how he'll say goodbye to Stan.

words: 116,313 | chapters: 8

crucify my cravings by pastanoodles

"Oh, I meant to ask earlier—do you think I could stay over again sometime?" he asks, not quite how he'd imagined it to sound the thousand times he'd rehearsed saying it in his mind. It's close enough. Kyle's eyes widen, even if only for a second. He sucks a breath in and relaxes his expression, and Stan's lips curve upwards. "Oh, sure," Kyle says, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and shutting his locker, perfectly casual, as though he doesn't know what he's implying. Like they're normal friends who'll be doing normal things. Or, in which Stan and Kyle are deeply uncomfortable with the fact that they're gay. They somehow turn this into a kink.

words: 2,473 | smut

Kyle’s Boobs Destroy Society by autumnpark (betaot4)

Or, rather, Kyle's boobs destroy Stan's mind, to put it more accurately.

words: 4,132

Super Best Fiend by ValeryKae (valorikei)

Stan is dumped once again and decides the best way to handle his loneliness is to summon a demon to have sex with and make him feel better. He is not at all prepared for the fiery babe that appears. //// human Stan and demon Kyle!

words: 6,347 | smut

I still hate summer, but it's a little better when I'm with you. by writtenApologies

Kyle is hanging out at Stan's house one afternoon, before he realizes he's gone into a heat. Due to Kyle's past with heats, Stan convinces him (out of good will) to not take his anti-heat medication. One accident leads to the next, and Stan realized he'll have to help his omega best friend with his heat-- even though Stan is an omega, too.

words: 12,283 | chapters: 2

In Conclusion by Kasen

The thing about gay awakenings is that sometimes someone will have one so anti-climatic that they almost feel guilty for how boring of an epiphany it is.

words: 10,910 | part of a series

Something Sweet by Kasen

It was Bebe’s recommendation. Kyle didn’t have much of a sweet tooth after middle school, but pastries were always the exception when he could have them with coffee or tea. He was never one to seek them out, but when you’re out with friends and have nothing better to do but find a place to sit and eat, you couldn’t help but grow tired of visiting the same old sites. For this reason, Kyle lets his friend guide him through the sunny streets of the city and towards the delicious smell of baked goods. OR Kyle Broflovski is dragged by the wrist into a cute café. It's there that he sees a handsome young man working in the kitchen. When their eyes meet, Kyle does what any average person would do. He makes a break for it.

words: 16,557 | chapters: 6

Kink Meme Collection by hollycomb

specifically just for chapters 1, 6, & 14 ! !

kinktober 2k18 by guineaDogs

chapter 22

A Cliché of Fictions by LozisLaw

all of the these tbh but 3 & 9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<333333 my favorites

also, this isnt really a style fic. theyre mostly mentioned a few times but this fic made me so???? insane for both creek and style and theres this one line about stanky that literally changed my whole life and like????? idk, after i read this i just let style consume my life

Interlude by PBJellie

Tweek Tweak's mental health is declining. Craig Tucker, his boyfriend, and legal guardian in the eyes of the court, tries his best to hold the pieces together through a particularly rough patch.

words: 72,867 | chapters: 39 | rating: E

[thenexusofsouls]

{i am the caretaker of souls} *sigh* I'm sorry guys, but I'm not gonna be able to be on tonight. I got some bad family news (I'll explain below the cut), and my dad and I have to have a very tough conversation with my grandmother that I know is not going to go well. I don't know how long that'll take, but I'm already not feeling creative as it is, so after we talk to her, I'm sure I'll be feeling even less so. I just need some time, unfortunately. I'm really sorry to disappoint everyone at the last minute, but I just got the news from my cousin like... an hour ago, so it was very unexpected. Thank you for understanding, and I'm sure I will be back here next week.

So... I have several aunts on both sides of my family, some of which have been really shitty to the family, and others have been great. My favorite aunt was diagnosed with brain and spine cancer about two months ago, and things have not been going well. It's very aggressive, it's moving very fast, and tonight my cousin told us that they're already at the point of setting up hospice for her because it's not going to be long. The doctors are saying days or a couple weeks. It went... so fast.

Aside from this being my favorite aunt, so I'm already upset about losing her soon, it's rough because my cousin is going through almost the exact same thing I did seven years ago with my mom. My mom was 63, hers is 60, so neither was very old. They both had cancer that went all over the place, especially brain and spine. And they both ended up in hospice at home. My mother lasted five weeks once that happened, so I guess we'll see how long my aunt lasts. But... I just feel so bad for my cousin because I know exactly what it's like to be in her position, and it absolutely sucks. It's one of the worst things to go through, watching someone you love just waste away. So it's hitting very close to home for me because it's bringing up so many feelings about my mom again.

This is my dad's sister, so he's very upset. He's one of six, and he's already lost two siblings. Two others are complete assholes that we very much limit contact with, and then there's my aunt, and we were closest to her out of all of them. So it's really rough for everybody all around.

In a little while, we have to sit down and tell my grandmother. My dad had been keeping her in the dark about everything (something I didn't agree with) because she gets very weird and crazy when she's told bad news and my dad wanted to avoid that. She starts saying really messed up things, cussing us out, she revenge-starves herself, revenge-doesn't-sleep, like she'll purposely refuse to do things so that we have to give her attention. She's very manipulative. Anyway, my cousin told him about two weeks ago that things were going well and to let grandma know the truth. He chose not to. Well now he has to hit her with it all at once and basically tell her that her daughter is going to die very soon, out of nowhere. She thinks things are going okay and she's just getting treated for a back issue. So this... is not going to go well.

He's asked that I be there to help him break the news, and I want to support him, so I'm gonna help him out with this. I really don't want to, but I know he doesn't either, so we'll just deal with her tantrums as they happen. But there's a very good chance that she'll refuse to go to bed at all tonight and we may need to be up with her, and I don't want to just leave my dad with all of that because he's really upset too.

So yeah, that's what's going on. There's just no way I'm writing fun things tonight, I'm just in completely the wrong mindset, you know? I want to be here, but it's just not going to happen tonight. I've just been sitting here crying on and off.

For those who follow me on multiple blogs, I expect to be on tomorrow night, but if for some reason I'm not, I'll let you all know over on those blogs. Tonight is just going to be bad because of how my grandmother is going to react and then get angry at us, likely, but by tomorrow things should go back to normal... at least until we get that next terrible update that something has happened to my aunt. *sigh*

I'm just so tired, you know? It's been so much lately with my job, my health, dealing with my toxic grandmother, and now my aunt not doing well. It's a lot of muchness all at once and I'm definitely feeling it. I really appreciate how understanding everyone has been lately. I know I've been so sporadic with my activity for various reasons in the past few months, so those of you who put up with me, I just wanna say... thank you and I love you all. <3