#going no/low contact

[winged-thinged]

my father claims he loves me. his evidence: he wants me to come back to God.

I haven't seen him in person in almost four years now. sometimes I think about the big empty hole that I made in my family when I walked away. do they still talk about me? or do they name me only in silence? I wonder if my mom threw out all my old books and artwork and notebooks full of childish poems, or whether she held onto them. she can be vindictive or sentimental by turns. she says I will always have a place at home with her, but I'd better be prepared to be sweet, and polite, and on-time, and gender-conforming, and go to church, and date boys, and always be home before nine.

my father says he will be there for me, if I ever change my mind. he sends me pages and pages of preaching. he sends me books about hell, just in case I didn't understand what I was getting myself into. he calls me unclean. he says, I will always be your father and that means telling you when you've gone astray. he says, this is love: perpetual hierarchy. perpetual harassment. faithful refusal to acknowledge any choice that goes against his own. you know how St. Monica prayed every day? how she begged her son to come back to God? how she refused to ever let up, year after year after year? she loved her son like how the crusaders loved the Caliphate. like how my father loves me.

I tell him, no, he does not love me. not in any way that matters. he wants to possess me. he wants me to agree with him. that is not the same. he has failed even the prerequisites for loving me. he doesn't even like me! he doesn't even know me! he doesn't know my wife, the single most important person in the world to me. he’s never met my cats, he’s never met my friends. he has never read any of my work, or tried to listen when I speak. he’s never seen me in my element. he doesn't know what gives me the strength to wake up every morning, and he doesn’t know what makes me despair.

the church of my childhood says this is love: love God first, and then that love will trickle down to the rest of the world. my father is faithful. he does not love me.

[cubbihue]

Peri was very upset about a lot of things that happened. Within a span of a week, he felt like his entire life has changed for the worst!! He had a dumb bulb on his wand, Timmy was still moving away, and he had to go to a school far from everyone he knew!!!

Of course, the cause and trigger of those emotions was Timmy. But Peri can’t blame his older brother for any of that. So the next logical conclusion for a small child to reach was to blame his parents instead!!! And boy did he blame a lot on his parents.

Many of Peri’s actions in his childhood stems from misplaced grief and anger. By the time he was old enough to know better, Peri got a mixture of stubbornness and a bruised ego to admit he was wrong for how he reacted.

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

Instability: [Start] > [Previous] > [END]

[thepeacefulgarden]

[morskisir]

Made some L4D2 style portrairs of the first survivor group! Inspired by the fact I've seen people do L4D style portraits with the second group but not vice versa.

You can definitely see me begin to understand the art style more as I go on; for which I seeked out online images of the face actors and modified accordingly (adjusting contrast levels, adding Bill's hat, Francis' scars, etc.) (Sean Bennett, Louis' face actor only has like two photos on Google of him. I chose the one you've probably already seen being posted around).

Please do not use these to make a mod, they were made purely for fun.

[skrunksthatwunk]

did my first ever used car browsing online and there's a car that's like really good on basically every aspect but the color is fucking NASTY. but ive been evolving a bit around it. and so now im like thinking "okay the bit's funny now but would it be funny in like seven years" kinda stuff

[ahoyimlosingmymind]

What's your thoughts in Fitz's friendships? Like, do you think he close with anyone anymore? How do you think he regards his friends and how they regard him

I genuinely think he's kind of coasting at this point. He lost the comfortability and depth with Keefe a long time ago. Then he poured his heart and soul into being cognates and let Sophie in on his innermost thoughts, while she kept him on the outskirts of hers- which is her own boundary she has the right to put up, but it still creates an imbalance in the 'give/take' portion of the relationship. Him and his own sister don't 100% see eye to eye on the Alvar situation, although I think Biana is the most understanding of Fitz's side of it, and she's most likely to defend him if push comes to shove. But they also have a rockiness because of the way they were treated differently in childhood. Dex, while cordial, still has a weird image of who Fitz is in his head, which kinda prohibits them from developing anything very deep.

Everyone else in the group are more in his periphery, canonically. They float in and out of his life, but don't really affect his narrative in any real way.

His closest friends at this point are still probably Sophie and Keefe, in the sense that they know the most about him in general. But considering the nature of their relationships and the dynamic, he's still on the outside of what Keefe and Sophie have now. And considering he's in ex boyfriend with unresolved feelings territory, there's even more boundaries with how he interacts with Sophie, and how much he can confide in her without creating weirdness and a sense of emotional cheating.

He's painfully aware that Keefe and Sophie are closer than he is with either of them at this point, and I doubt he really sees those relationships as salvageable.

Everyone else kind of just watches him, and they don't inquire much about his personal well-being because they feel like it isn't their place after the dynamic was Sophie x Fitz for so long. Like none of them really know how to reach him, and so they don't really make attempts.

bro's closest friend is Grizel, and she's forced, to an extent, to be near him.

[despazito]

Parents referring to their grown childs spouse as "competition"

[puppppppppy]

man

[maldupay]

something something siffrin completely deprived of human skin to skin contact and the head housemaidem holding his face and weeping for them

[ustalav]

came out to my oldest sister tonight 🥴

[castielfucks]

having a mom is like. you know me better than anyone. you never knew me for a second. I know you'd fight for me. you were going to let me die. you love when i get along with my siblings. you hate when im honest about why i don't. you're prouder of me than anyone. you have no idea what I've been through. you're scared to lose me. you're scared to parent me. i think I'd heal if you just hugged me and meant it. i think I'd heal if I never saw you again.

[davenportdavenportdavenport]

If it hadn't been for the bionic army/Davenport's subsequent construction and operation of the bionic academy, I fully believe that Bree would have gone low/no-contact with most or all her family as an adult and she'd be kinda valid for it

[spacemanxpaninis]

My mother, the woman who told me it’s my fault she doesn’t hug me: I know you won’t like hearing this, but people are probably not interested in you because of the way you dress.

Me, seeking support: I got ghosted and I don’t know why :(

Mother: you probably don’t look like what their parents would want them bringing home

Me months later, literally just minding my own business:

Mother: Have you ever considered your job won’t promote you because the way you look makes people uncomfortable?

*also constantly tells me I shouldn’t even be at my job anymore despite my trying to advance in it*

Mother: You’ll never understand what it’s like seeing your kids have every opportunity and keep making a bunch of fucked up mistakes!

Mother the other day: I want you to feel secure and supported in all areas

Me:

My dad the other night: [Once you’re moved out] you’ll be over here all the time!

Me:

[tidesfate]

Andddd this is how you get me to not help you at all

[yuukimiyas]

( っ¯ ³¯ )っ~♡ mwah!! g’mornie lovebugs!! & a v happy tues to youuuu!! <33 eeeeppp!!! im so srry for accidentally takin a wk hiatus!! ૮꒰ྀི ∩៸៸៸∩ ‎꒱ྀིა i promise i didn’t mean to!!! its just been kinda hectic on my end lately :< but im here now to bring you extra love to help get through your day!! ෆ ෆ ෆ⸒⸒⸜( ˶'ᵕ'˶)⸝

[vagueiish]

i don't have friends bc im too scared of rejection to even try tbh. cause id reject me if i tried to chat me up friendship style, who wouldnt?