#gods these two are a mess af

[loumauve]

I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.

(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)

[pastelclovds]

thinking about short top x tall bottom relationships

your partner’s friends believe that just because you were two feet shorter than him: that it would obviously mean that you would be the one taking it in the relationship. how could you blame those meatheads when your boyfriend was everything a stereotypical dominant man was “supposed” to be. muscles that could be compared to Greek gods, good looks, possessing a constant stern and confident attitude, and he had a successful career that made him good money.

your lover didn’t try to deny the accusations. probably too embarrassed to admit the truth. you had to hide your smirk when you saw your bf trying desperately to change the subject. looking tense and flustered as his gaze shifted from his hands to you to his friends. it wasn’t until you dropped his friends off and were now alone with him in your car that his mask finally cracked. before he could say a word, you place the palm of your hand on top of his shaking leg. dangerously close to his clothed pelvis. his breathe hitched when he meet your eyes. they were smug and hungry.

at that moment he knew it didn’t matter what excuses he spewed out. you were going to show him who was really in charge. he couldn’t help blood rushing south as his mind started fantasizing about what you were planning for him.

you grin devilishly when you catch sight of his cock straining against his dress pants. oh you were going to have so much fun breaking him.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

“oh! oh yeah— fuck! faster please please!”

you’ve seen many beautiful things in your life. but the sight of your lover presenting his bare ass for you to rail as he sobbed out your name like a prayer definitely topped them all. he let out choked moans when your cock continuously hits his prostate. his grip on the pillows rival that of a vice as his tears wet the covers. he thrusts back against your cock to the best of his ability as the bruising grip you had on his waist prevented him from moving the lower half of his body. forcing him to stay still and take it.

you let out a shaky breath as you gazed down at the so called ‘master in the sheets’. now a pathetic, beautiful mess as his tight hole took you in. just the sight of his tear stained face and velvety ass was enough to almost make you spill inside him. you increase the pace of your hips. your sweat slicked balls slapping against your lover’s ass as the volume of his moans and cries increased. the clap of your bf’s ass meeting your pelvis filled you with pride as you couldn’t resist the temptation of slapping his cheek. his hole tightened significantly around you.

“haha. guess your friends were wrong about you, lovely. was this what you wanted? embarres me so i can show you who you really belonged to? hmm?” you lower your torso as you teased him by slowly grinding against his sweet spot. he raised his head to look up at you.

“i’m yours. always make me feel good. go faster again please. i’m close, ‘m sorry— ah!”

your pace returns to rough and quick as soon as the words left his pretty mouth. “good boy- hah- cum for me,” you breathlessly command him. he followed your orders instantly, biting his pillow cover to muffle his pathetic sob as his cock spilled white on the sheets.

his climax triggered yours, you sigh as you fill him with warmth. you knew that this wasn’t going to be the last round, so you rest on top of your lover’s back until he gave you the ‘okay’ to continue. you could feel his chest rise and fall as he tries to catch his breath. if you weren’t paying attention intensely, you would’ve missed the breathless “i love you” he told you.

you cover his sweat coated back in soft kisses, you couldn’t even reach his neck, “i love you too, gorgeous,” you whisper back. you bite back a groan when he started grinding against your cock, signaling that he was ready for round two.

you loved destroying stereotypes.

ur fav tall af characters <3

[kawaiijellymonster]

I have too much time this summer, exhibit: the amount of anime I've watched in the last couple of weeks

[starkeyisthelastname]

I love your work! Is there any way we could get dealer!Rafe eating reader’s ass/anal?? You’re amazingggg 🫶

Thank you baby!!! 💕 this one’s dirty af 😜

Dealer!Rafe is a lil spontaneous when he wants to be, and wasn’t afraid to get nasty with it when fucking your gorgeous little self. He couldn’t help but feel a little wild as he spread your fleshy ass cheeks apart, the tight little puckered hole looking too good for him to pass up. The small whine that left your lips as he ran his thumb over it, made him only want you more.

It was when you felt his tongue probe your other hole that you let out a pathetic moan. Your boyfriend chuckled behind you, pulling back to look. “You like that shit don’t you?” He asked handsome face burying itself between your asscheeks once more.

He wasn’t ashamed of being a man that liked to eat his girl’s ass, especially when he had you squirming as he tongue fucked your tight little asshole. You didn’t want to admit to liking it so much, something about it so raw and dirty. But you found yourself a moaning mess, cunt clenching around nothing as he switched between moving it in and out of your hole or flattening his tongue out to lick it.

You even felt embarrassed when a small whine left your lips as he pulled away. You turned your head that was pressed down in the mattress to try and look at him, but were stopped as two thick digits slid into your asshole.

“You want daddy to fuck your ass?” Rafe’s voice raspy, smirk on his face as his gold chain glistened against his broad chest. His ringed fingers pushing themselves out to leave you empty.

“P-please daddy… please fuck my ass.” You couldn’t help but mumble out, pretty pussy dripping at the thought of your hung boyfriend stretching you out in such a dirty way.

Rafe’s blue eyes flashed darker as he heard you say this, his hand immediately forcing your face back into the sheets again. You felt the glob of spit land on your asshole, dribbling down your pussy as the head of his cock slowly pushed through your tight ring of muscles.

Your loud cry was muffled against the mattress, Rafe’s hand still holding your face down. Your pretty toes curled as he stretched your asshole further, your pussy fluttering as he buried himself deeper.

“My nasty little slut.. god do you look so fuckin pretty taking my dick.” Rafe groaned, slowly beginning to slide himself in and out.

[seungfl0wer]

Made A Mess: Felix Hard thoughts

This is soft af honestly

Smut Below

-🩵

I can only imagine how cute it would be to start baking with Lixie. Mixing stuff together and playfully smearing chocolate on his face. It ends up with you both covered in flower and chocolate. Him pulling you to him kissing you while you both laugh. The kisses turn more long as he licks the chocolate he put on you.

Kissing, licking and biting your lips to your neck as you slide his leg between your legs. “Ah love, you’re so sweet” he’d tease he moved his leg between your legs against your needy core. He’d wrap his arms around you hoisting you up on the counter kissing loving trails down your body. Getting to your thighs he leaves small bites before swiftly taking your shorts off.

He’d trail his fingers up your clothed slits and he come back up to kiss you passionately. Devouring any sound either of you made. When he pulled away a long trail of spit still connecting you two. He’d go back down to your cunt taking your panties off before diving into you. He’d eat you out like some starved animal. He loves going down on you loves hearing you moan in pleasure as especially while you tug on his hair saying his name. Ah god when you say his name- man could cum at just that.

Gripping him grinding on his face, his tongue fucking you to another dimension. He’d almost cum in his pants as you squeezed your legs around his head screaming his name. He’d pull away so pussy drunk, fumbling as he took off his pants. When he fucks you it’s so sloppy but full of love and passion. Fucking you against the counter legs shaky from your own high as you feel another one coming. (Ha- haha lol)

When he feels his high coming he’d babble not stop (I mean he’d be talking non stop the whole time honestly). Holding onto tightly as if you’d float away from him. “Y/n! Fuck- god I love you. My love. My pretty” he’d whimper against your neck before pulling out cuming all over your tummy. He’d quickly play with your clit wanting you to cum again as he made out with you sloppily before you coming undone again so quickly.

“Ah baby, we really made a mess huh?.” He giggled.

💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵

[themultifanshipper]

🔴 with Webber!reader x Jenson x Sebastian.

Living with your brother had it's perks, him living in a penthouse and all.

But it had it's downsides too. Like when you had to sneak your hookups out without him knowing. It didn't help that they were his friends and colleagues.

To be honest it was only a matter of time before he caught you.

Warnings: disgusting smut, crying, dacryphilia, sub reader, sub sebastian, dom jenson (hear me out), overstimulation, forced sex?, use of the colour system, PinV sex, Oral, cum, facials you know the drill, Jenson being mean af

requested from my prompt list

He finally caught you the day after his win in Monaco 2012.

He'd gone out partying all night so you had the place to yourself and you decided to invite a couple of friends over.

Those friends happened to be Sebastian Vettel and Jenson Button. No biggie.

They both knew about your situationship with the other, and you didn't get to see them that often, so you had planned that while they were both in Monaco you'd have a bit of fun with them both.

And it's not like they didn't mess around on their own either.

Sebastian arrived first, having rushed through his duties in his impatience to join you.

Before you'd even shut the door he had you up against the wall, whispering about all the things he wanted to do to you, feeling frustrated after your brother ‘stole his win’ (his words not mine).

Fucking his biggest rival's little sister was certainly a great way to let out his frustration, and you were happy to take everything he had to give.

He undressed you slowly, making sure to tease you as much as possible while he peeled your clothes off your body.

He was halfway through getting you to your second orgasm using his fingers, when Jenson barged in.

The bastard didn't even knock, he just opened the door, gasped in fake surprise at the sight of you getting ravaged on the couch and closed the door behind him.

“God, look at the state of you two, couldn't even wait for me” he tutted as he prowled towards you like a predator.

Seb hadn't stopped his ministrations and you were currently hurtling towards your peak. Jenson chuckled at you barely being able to keep your eyes open with the pleasure.

“Aw babygirl are you going to come on Seb's fingers?”

You nodded as the pleasure overcame you and you clamped down on Seb's fingers as you rode your high.

Once you had finished, Jenson dragged him away from your weeping cunt and sat him on the couch next to you.

“Let's give her a break and take care of this mess, hmm?”

Seb gasped as Jenson lowered his head and licked up the underside of his leaking cock.

He wasted no time sinking down completely, making Seb choke on his spit.

You had no idea Jenson was so proficient at blowjobs, but the sight of him swallowing around Seb's cock really did something to you.

“Fuck Jenson-” Seb moaned “don't stop”

Jenson pulled off for a second to answer “Don't worry baby, I'm not going to stop until you're crying”

Seb whimpered and Jenson sank back down to the base, deepthroating him expertly.

It took Seb an embarrasingly short amount of time to come after that, and he pulled Jenson off him by the hair.

Jenson himself was flushed but he sat up and looked at the two of you mischievously.

“Now then, given that you two brats decided to be greedy and start without me, you're going to fuck, and I'm going to watch. And if you stop before I say so, I will tie you both up and tease you all night and leave you here for Mark to find, understood?”

You and Seb looked at each other with a twinkle in your eyes.

“Yes Daddy”

You were just goading him at this point, you knew it would drive Jenson mad, and it did. He groaned and rubbed his face.

“Right, come on then.” He sighed, slapping your thigh “Any position you want, get to it.”

You decided to ride Seb, and it was wonderful. He was so thick, grazing all the right places inside you, that this didn't feel like much of a punishment at all.

You came for the third time just as you thighs were starting to burn from the effort, so as you came down, Seb pulled out and you changed position, now laying on the couch with Seb above you as Jenson watched on.

Seb fucked you hard immediately, slightly overstimulating you, and his hands wandered over your flesh, squeezing and pinching as they went.

The real punishment started when Seb came inside you and stopped his thrusts to pull out gently.

“Ah ah! What do you think you're doing?” Jenson said, looking up from his phone “keep fucking her Seb”

You both froze.

“But-“ Seb started but Jenson interrupted him

“This is your punishment for being impatient little fuckers, so get back inside her while you're still hard and take it like a man”

Seb blushed and reluctantly pushed back into you.

You were both so sensitive it sent shocks through your systems.

“Fuck” Seb muttered as he put some of his weight on you in favour of grinding his hips into yours.

“Feel so fucking good around me schatz”

You whined “It's too much Jense, m'gonna come”

Jenson just laughed.

“Is it too much or are you going to come baby? It can't be both”

Jenson talking down at you shouldn't have been as hot as it was, but you were clenching around Seb as you got closer to another orgasm.

“Gonna come” you gasped out.

“Then come baby, I'm not stopping you”

And you did, your fourth orgasm washed over you but Seb kept going as per Jenson's instructions and he himself came again not long after that.

Jenson sensed he was going to pull out so he grabbed Seb's hips and pushed him flush with you.

“Don't you dare pull out, Sebby. Keep going. It's what you get for being greedy little sluts”

He guided Sebs hips back and forth, using Seb to fuck you, not giving his dick time to get soft again as you both felt tears of overstimulation cloud your vision.

“Can't Jenson” Seb gasped, he was shaking like a leaf “It's too much, I can't keep going”

You shared the sentiment, you weren't sure you'd be able to come again, the pleasure bordering on pain.

Jenson pushed on Seb's hips particularly hard and he let out a sob into the crook of your neck.

“Yes you can” Jenson said tenderly “I know you can, Sebby”

Seb let out a wanton moan and Jenson asked “Colour?”

Seb's shaky voice replied, muffled by your skin “green”.

Jenson looked at your tear stained cheeks and you also gasped out ‘green’.

“There you go, you can both give me one more then”

Seb's hips slapped into yours with renewed vigour, he was determined to see this to the end, his impressive stamina coming in handy in this situation.

Jenson decided to help you along and give you a hand, literally.

One of his hands went to Seb's hair, yanking his head back and licking into his mouth as he panted like an animal, and the other slithered down you body and started rubbing circles onto your clit.

The touch sent a jolt of electricity through you and you found yourself right on the edge again, and the pleasure was too much for you as you sobbed your way through your orgasm.

Seb’s hyper sensitive cock didn't survive you clamping down on him and he also came with a wretched sound, muffled by Jenson's mouth on his.

Jenson helped Seb to pull out carefully, and he slumped down to a kneeling position on the floor.

He instructed you to do the same and got his painfully hard cock out of his pants to finally get the relief he'd been denying himself.

The sight of you and Seb on your knees for him, his two favourite brats, tears staining your cheeks, eyes wet and lips puffy, was enough to get him off in record time as he groaned out a curse and spurted streaks of white over both of your faces.

“My perfect whores, fuck- so good for me, you did so well”

He stroked your heads as he waited for his head to stop spinning.

You all got washed up and went to bed very late, after a nice (takeaway) meal and a couple of drinks to wind down.

The next morning you woke up with Seb, Jenson being a heavy (and late!!) sleeper, and decided to get up and get some breakfast.

What you didn't expect was for Mark to be in the living room, holding your discarded clothes and a Redbull shirt.

You froze in the doorway and you stared at each other, your eyes full of fear and his full of anger.

“So you're sleeping with a Redbull driver, huh?” he cocked his head “Last I heard, there's only two of those. And it's definitely not me. So tell me, who is in your room right now?”

“Well I should hope you're not sleeping with your own sister” Seb's voice resounded from behind you, and you cursed the man internally.

“Ah! Nice of you to join us, Seb! What the fuck are you doing in my apartment?” Mark's eyes flashed with anger.

Seb just chuckled and wrapped an arm around you “I was invited by your lovely sister, do you want a play by play of everything we did on your couch?”

Mark's eyes widened and he looked at the couch with disgust.

“Also that is my shirt you're holding, so I will let you make your own conclusions”

He walked towards a livid looking Mark and ripped his own shirt from his grasp, before going to sit down in the kitchen.

“You coming schatz? I thought you wanted to make breakfast?” he called from the other room.

You gave an apologetic look to your brother before following Seb's path.

Mark took a second to regain his composure before doing the same.

“How long has this been going on?”

You sighed, of course now he was going to be nosy.

“A few months… maybe a year”

Mark would have been outraged except… he just frowned, he definitely heard you with someone a few weeks ago, and it definitely wasn't Seb.

In fact he was pretty sure he recognised the accent he’d heard through the wall.

“But what about…” he looked at Seb quickly before deciding he actually didn't care about possibly hurting his feelings and blurted out “Jenson!”

You stared at him blankly. “What about Jenson?”

He narrowed his eyes at you “Well I know you fucked him… recently”

“And why would you think I'm fucking Jenson?”

And because your luck always ran out at the very worst of times, Jenson himself strutted through the door, shirtless, and sporting a smug grin.

“Someone mention my name?”

He walked towards you, pecked you on the cheek and sat down on the other side of Sebastian.

Marks eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his skull, and you could see the cogs turning in his mind.

“You… you're fucking BOTH OF THEM?!”

You could barely contain your smirk as you answered.

“Yeah? This is what the young people are doing these days, Mark. You should give it a go, it might help you unwind!”

He didn't even dignify that with a response, turning on his heel and stomping out of the room.

You, Seb and Jenson looked at each other and burst out laughing.

You were definitely inviting them over more often.

[alonetimelover]

pairing: harry styles x polish!reader (fem, she/her)

summary: harry plays a show where one of the most important people in his life attends - his fiancée's granny.

submitted by @otaktomotyl, thank you and i hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as i did writing it!

a/n: i found polish translations on the internet, i hope they're okay.

masterlist ask, comment, come say hi!

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harryupdates

liked by harrysmoustache, harryshoee and 37 201 others

harryupdates HARRY landed in Warsaw. I repeat, HARRY landed in Warsaw.

view all 3 013 comments

harrysmoustache and he's holding yn's hat???

harryshoee yn and harry can finally reunite... 🥹

harrysfan92 do you see his arms???? he looks like a Greek god, god damn

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harrysmoustache

liked by harryupdates, stylesbabie and 12 301 others

harrysmoustache HAARY AT YN'S COUSIN WEDDING!!!!

view all 2 492 comments

harryupdates you're so fast with those updates, lyla. im gonna lose my job...

stylesbabie yn be aware, he looks good enough to be THE groom. keep him close

⤷ harryslipstick i think that ring on her finger is saying more than anything

harrysmybestie guys, you know we are so close to see HIM at HIS OWN wedding...

⤷ harrysmylife don't

⤷ harrysmoustache why would you say that?!

⤷ outofstyles am i the only one awaiting that day impatiently??? i wanna see him being all nervous and loving and all of the emotions that people feel at the weddings

stylesislife only harry styles could come to my wedding wearing a tanktop that he also wears to his shows

⤷ hArrysbtch the only man i could forgive AND compliment on looking so fucking good

stylesbabie yn's cousin posted a photo from the ceremony, and you can see yn and harry being all snuggle and touchy 😭😭😭 i love them so much

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"What do you mean you're not coming up on stage? Harry, my love, what changed during the last two hours?" YN asked into her phone, anxious Harry being on the other side, soundly biting his nails. "And stop biting your nails, you've got a very nice colour on them."

"Is babcia (granny) here?"

"Mum texted they're close to the gate. Jeff, was kind enough to go there and pick them up so they wouldn't get in any trouble."

"Good, good, good. can- can you come backstage? I think I'd like some ted talk before the show," he said quietly, smile growing on his face. "And some kisses, too."

"Give me 10 minutes, I'll find that kind guard and ask him to guide me. I can't remember when to turn right."

"I'll wait for you. I love you."

"I love you."

Harry got up from the couch and started pacing from one wall to the other. His hands were trembling, getting sweaty. He couldn't remember when was the last time he felt this nervous before start of the show. Not wembley or Slane Castle were as nerve wrecking as Warsaw. He knew it perfectly that it wasn't because of the city or the country. Well, it partially was.

It was YN's home show. But also her whole family was just outside the gates or already walking down the hallways to get to their seats (VIP of course, besides YN's younger cousins that wanted the front row, barricade experiance). And probably the most important guests for Harry - YN's grandparents, especially her granny. A sweet 92-year-old lady that started learning english and using an iPhone to be able to talk and contact Harry. A lady who bought his heart with sweet butter biscuits that no one could replicate. A lady that listened and then learned his whole three albums for this day - the day she would finally see him play live.

So he was terrified to disappoint her.

"What if i mess up the lyrics?" he asked YN when she finally came to the greenroom, he had been pacing in.

"Then she will sing it to you."

"But what if she won't like hearing me live? I mean, it's- it's a possibility. What? Why are you giggling. I'm really stressed here, my darling."

"I'm so sorry." She kissed the crown of his head. "It's just that you're afraid of impossibility. There is no way she would laugh at you or be disappointed in you." YN stroke his hair, gently massaging it, bringing Harry peace.

"You sure?"

"I've never been more sure in my life."

"She'll like it." Harry reassured himself aloud.

"Yes, she will. Not only she loves you like her own grandchild, she's also nervous. This morning she facetimed me to help her pick up an outfit. She bought quite a few things after she saw some pictures of your fans on the internet." She laughed, finding it quite adorable.

"Did she?" Harry lifted his head from yn's lap. "Oh, bless her."

They spent the next few minutes in silence, letting Harry's heart to calm down and steady its pace.

"Wait, did you say that you've never been more sure about something in your life?" Harry eventually broke the silence.

"Yes?"

"So, you had doubts when I asked you to marry me?"

"Oh god."

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harryloveontour

liked by harryupdates, stylesmaaan and 21 491 others

harryloveontour first look at harry at tonight's show in warsaw! it wasn't even the first minute, and he was already seen sending kisses towards yn!

view all 6 023 comments

harrysmylife and it was not only for yn!!! her whole family is with her. even her grandparents.

⤷ stylesbabie omg, they must love him soooo so much

ynandhmyparents they are the sweetest couple i've ever seen, like ever

harrysmoustache is anybody live??? i need to experience this show, i have tissues ready

⤷ hArrysbtch hslotwarsaw is live and it's in such a good quality

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hslotwarsaw

liked by harryupdates, hArrysbtch and 21 291 others

hslotwarsaw this is harry's reaction to seeing yn dancing with one of the fans during adore you!!!

view all 3 491 comments

harryupdates omg, his reaction was priceless!!!!

hArrysbtch the way this man said "back off, my friend. she is taken. ring and all. no, no, no." he wa ready to jump from that stage to stop that man from hugging yn!

⤷ stylesbabie i mean, did that guy asked yn if that was okay?

⤷ lovingharry he did, you could see it on the videos that people already posted

harrysmoustache he's like "excuse me, man. that is my fiancée. MY fiancée."

harrysmylife oh, this concert just started and i know it's gonna be the best of all times

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lately you've been on my mind

honey, ah ah ah

The whole stadium was singing back to him. He could describe the feeling it awoke in him each time. It was similar but never the same. Especially today, everything seemed to touch him deeper, better, and clearer.

"Someone's stealing your girl, Styles"

Harry heard someone in his earpiece, making him stop singing. He played it cool by putting the mic towards the audience simultaneously looking for YN.

It didn't take him long. She was right where she promised to be. The space designed specifically for her family, not enclosed but clearly separated from the main audience. There she was dancing and laughing with some middle-aged guy.

Harry was a jealous person in nature. In particular when it came to his partners. He wasn't proud of it, and he definitely didn't have any way to believe that YN would sprint after every Tom, Dick and Harry. Every day she showed him how in love she was, there could be no way.

But here he was. Jaw clenched, not singing and glaring towards his fiancée.

"Harry, everything alright?" Again the voice in his earpiece.

YN stopped dancing, feeling that unmistakable eyes almost glued to her. Oh, it didn't look good.

"How you doin' Warsaw?!" Harry finally screamed into the microphone. The squeals, screems and whistles gave him all he wanted - distraction.

And when YN smiled at him so lovingly and sweetly, it was enough to carry him till this moment.

"Your sign says 'help me shoot my shot'. Is this person with you?" Harry asked the fan who was holding the very neat and colourful sign. Somehow he didn't recognise him from just a minutes ago.

"She's here."

"Wow! Your voice is so loud, man. But how do you want me to help you when she's here. She's next to you somewhere?"

And then if it would have been possible, Harry's jaw would touch the floor. That guy shamelessly pointed towards YN. Now he remembered.

People screamed so loudly, because everything was shown on the biggest screen behind the stage.

"Well, back off, my friend. She is taken. Ring and all. No, no, no." Harry tried to play it cool by laughing at the end. "And, as far as I'm concerned, we're not lookin' for the third one in the relationship."

Now the stadium was laughing along with the long 'ouuuu'.

"How did you know you'd be close to YN, anyway?"

"Manifesting."

"Manifesting?" Harry repeated so everyone could know the answer. "Well, you're doing it right, so I suggest betting or playing lottery. And, to be honest most importantly," he pressed. "Not stealing someone else's future wife!"

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harryupdates

liked by hArrysbtch, harrysmoustache and 34 201 others

harryupdates harry introducing yn's grandmother at tonight's show.

view all 7 201 comments

hArrysbtch she is the sweetest lady, my god. i love her even though i don't know her 🥹

harrysmoustache "this show is very special to me. here are my future parents in law as well as grandparents. hello, hi!" i still can't comprehend harry being engaged...

harrysmylife "granny, how are you doing? do you need anything? no? you're good? excellent! that's what I wanted to hear. please give it up for granny!" and the way he started clapping both of his hands and the whistling???? and then speaking in polish i think???

⤷ polisharry Yes! He said 'dziękuję, babcia że tu jesteś' which means 'thank you granny for being here

harryfan82 this show is sooo good

outofstyles did anybody see harry constantly looking towards that area, where yn's whole family is?

⤷ harrysmoustache absolutely! i can't imagine how nervous he is, considering it's the first (at least that we know of) time he sings in front of them

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hArrysbtch

liked by harryupdates, harrysmylife and 33 101 others

hArrysbtch HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO PLAY MEDICINE BUT THE BAND STARTED IT WITHOUT HIS KNOWLEDGE. I CANT. HES REACTION IS PRICELESS. HES TERRIFIED.

view all 8 101 comments

harryupdates he didn't even started it on cue, thank god the audience was so pumped up for it and sang it!

harrysmoustache "no no no no no. we weren't supposed to play it. sarah!" the fear and confusion in his voice was everything. they got him good.

outofstyles "you're gonna pay for it. all of you." this is so funny

stylesbabie the funniest thing is how when he started singing it, he was all touchy and sexy. it was like he forgot about the problem in the moment...

godstyles "granny's terrified" HARRY YOU DIDN'T PUT THE MICROPHONE DOWN, MAN

⤷ harrysmoustache but they showed granny being all smiley during medicine. i think she enjoyed it just like any other song!

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harryupdates

liked by hArrysbtch, stylesbabie and 41 202 others

harryupdates harry smiling while talking to yn's little cousin (yn was translating everything to her and then to harry). she then opened as it was with "harry, I wanna say goodnight to you"

view all 3 201 comments

hArrysbtch i hate kids but that baby was so cute i wish i could squish her cheeks

harrysmoustache he was all smiles and gentle eyes while talking to her, he loves this family so much

styleslove i love when people are so open with their feelings for their partner's family

harrysfan081 so cute

stylesbabie give this man a child already

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hslotwarsaw

liked by harryupdates, stylesmylove and 61 201 others

hslotwarsaw harry after splashing water at yn and her family at the end of the show!

and with this photo, we're ending our 'photo-stream'. thank you all for helping us prepare all of the fan projects and thank you for welcoming harry so warmly in our country! till the next time!

view all 8 20q comments

harryupdates you did amazing job!

hArrysbtch yn's granny got so happy at the moment harry decided to threaten her with a bottle

stylesbabie granny had a water gun and threatened harry back with it!!!!! it was soo cute, he run away laughing

harrysfan88 best show so far

harrysmylife "this one of the loudest show i can remember. and i know why. my fiancée's whole family is here. and believe me, they can make so much noise it's impressive!" my friend stood next ro them and confirmed, they were so loud during the whole set list!!

harryshands i can't imagine better way for harry to cope with this amount of pressure. he delivered one of the best performances in his life - sound and entertain wise. truly amazing

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"Harry, my sweet boy."

Harry turned 180° from the conversation he was having with Jeff to see the face of the lady with the heavy accent he knew so well.

"Babcia! (granny)" he exclaimed, jogging towards her and ambracing in a tight hug. "How I've missed you."

"You saw me yesterday, you."

"I know." He pulled away, still having his arm around granny. "But it's already been almost 24 hours. A long time, don't you think?"

Granny shook her head with a smile and placed her head on Harry's chest. She was rather exhausted from all the lights, noise, dancing and standing up for almost three hours.

"You wanna sit down, granny?" YN asked, squeezing her grandmothers arm in a way showing her she was nearby.

"Oh, yes. My legs aren't 20 years old as much as I would like them to be."

The three of them sat down on the green couch and talked about the show. Granny was impressed with all the fans having the time of their life, but specifically the ones that seemed to take in the show on their own terms.

"There were those two girls just hugging the whole time and singing softly all the songs. It was so lovely," granny explained.

"It's funny how they were two of very little to not use their phone during the show," commented someone in the room.

And before harry got the chance to defend people taking photos and recording, granny sat up straight.

"Well, in the 60s, my father took me to see The Beetles and I wish i had a camera then. It was such a magical moment that I would want it to be not only engraved in my mind but also on paper. I took so many photos of you, Harry. I need you to print them so I can show them to my friends on the next bingo evening."

YN nodded her head with a smile, not only planning to print the photos but putting the whole concert that harry recorded on the CD. Granny loved watching that type of thing on her telly.

"Harry," granny spoke up after a few moments. "I do have a question however."

"Ask away, granny."

"That song, medicine. What is it about?"

[megamindsupremacy]

Clark Pines AU random headcanons

-sometimes Stan and Ford pull the "switch clothes and talk differently to see if anyone can tell the difference" trick to mess with the twins, and they fall for it a solid 35% of the time, but Clark never falls for it because he can hear their hearts and Ford's heart is FUCKED UP due to the gazillion volts of electricity he got during weirdmageddon

-Clark almost didn't go to college to stay and work at the Shack and maybe convince his dad to finally let him help with the portal, but Stan recognized Clark was smart af and didn't want Clark to be held back for his sake. And then Stan had twenty crises in a row when it came time for Clark to actually Go To College

-Clark has to wear (reading) glasses but he doesn't like the feel of them so he usually just carries them around and wears them as infrequently as possible. And then his entire secret identity becomes "put on glasses" so he has to wear them all the time and he's REALLY MAD about it

-Clark was originally going to college for some sort of mechanics/engineering degree, but once he left Gravity Falls, he realized just how weird his hometown is. Like, he was theoretically aware, but the guy lived there his whole life. He left a few times to visit the twins and their parents or for miscellaneous other reasons but he never really lived outside of Gravity Falls for any amount of time. So it kinda hits him how different The Real World (for lack of a better term) is, and he decides to switch to communications/journalism major instead. Also, he was not very good at engineering.

-The Mystery Twins are approximately the same age as Robin!Dick so they become pretty good friends over the years. Mabel has a gigantic insane crush on Dick and Dick has a tiny baby crush on Dipper and everybody is oblivious about everything except for Bruce and Clark, who have to silently suffer together about the situation until everyone gets over it.

-Dipper gets really into magic and spells and stuff as he gets older so he becomes Clark's go-to "there's weird shit happening and it's not the genre I usually deal with" person. It isn't his life's work like with Constantine or Zatanna, so he isn't a JLDark member or anything, but he definitely Knows Some Shit.

-I'm cooking something along the lines of "Mabel becomes the youngest congresswoman ever at age 18" simply because I think it would be funny and because nobody ever acknowledges how that one frozen president technically made Mabel a congresswoman in that one episode.

-You know how Jon Kent is named that after Clark's Canon Dad Jonathan Kent? Clark tries to name his kid "Stan" after his dad and uncle and both Stanley and Stanford are like don't you FUCKING dare, we have enough Stans in this family, please give your son a better name dear god

-When the Young Justice team (yj98, NOT yjtv) forms, there's a running bit where they keep fucking running into either Mabel or Dipper on every other mission, except none of them know they're Superman's cousins so they think these two weirdos are trying to do Evil Stuff when in fact they're just living their lives, and these lives happen to be absolutely insane enough to keep crossing over with teenage superhero shenanigans.

[chenfleur]

lowkey

summary. jeonghan's supposed to be on stage in twenty minutes, and he's nowhere to be found.

pairing. idol!jeonghan x makeup artist!y/n ft vernon genre. fluff, secret relationship word count. 1.7k released. 03.26.2023 author's note. this is so funny to me because im pretty sure i can count the number of interactions vernon and jeonghan have had on one hand

masterlist

“Where’s Jeonghan?”

There’s an urgent lilt in the stage director’s voice as it booms around the crowded, high-tension salon space. 

You’d typically roll your eyes. God forbid Yoon Jeonghan stays still for just a second. 

As the notice of his going missing sinks in, the atmosphere becomes frantic. The sound of rustling grows loud and overbearing—people begin to fly around the messy space, trying to organize and give last-minute touches to the rest of the group; a few managers had already walked out the door without a second thought, going to go search.

“That idiot,” you murmur, eyebrows pinched together. 

Jeonghan has always had the tendency to wander. It’s just a product of restlessness, and it's always been a fairly harmless habit, but this space isn’t one that’s familiar like a music show; it's the first stop on the world tour—where the venue is completely foreign to both the members and the staff—and if he doesn’t show up in the next ten or so minutes, it would not end prettily.

Vernon, whose base makeup you were touching up, eyes you curiously. Your movements had faltered considerably upon the director’s shout, going from precise, aggressive beats against his face to uncharacteristically soft, unsynchronized taps.

He watches your unsettled expression with slightly squinted eyes—but he doesn’t say anything, simply averting his gaze to his reflection.

The soft, worried mutters of the other members paired with the worked-up exclamations from the different staff fill your ears until it grows unbearable. You can't take it anymore.

You find yourself only giving Vernon a few more quick taps before muttering a faint “you’re all set”, tossing the beauty sponge haphazardly onto the cluttered countertop. You hear a thoughtful “thank you” come from him before you bolt across the room and out the door.

The lingering uncertainty of Jeonghan's whereabouts must be messing with your senses, because the grey halls feel even more obscure than before—they're seemingly never-ending as you twist and turn around the venue, the only times you stop being to peek down corridors for the silhouette of a person.

Your legs begin to ache from how fast you’re walking, but that pain fades as you finally catch sight of a figure in one of the waiting areas, leaning against the wall next to a vending machine.

“Jeonghan-ssi!” you call out immediately, striding towards him.

The man’s head looks up from his phone screen, warily looking around. Realizing it was you that was coming towards him, he pockets his phone before peeling himself off the wall and going to meet you halfway.

You stop a few steps away from him, eyes scanning over his build as if to check for any accidents. “I’m sorry to disturb you, but everyone is looking for you, you have to be on stage really soon-”

“Y/N,” Jeonghan murmurs, cutting you off. “Y/N, it’s just us. Stop talking like that, you sound so cold.”

Your eyebrows furrow, but when you realize what he was referring to, you grow quiet.

When the two of you got together, you made it clear that you wanted to remain professional. Jeonghan is your coworker, and so, you treat him as such–you keep speaking to him with formalities and interact with him only when necessary, trying your hardest to not drop any sort of indication that you have a more intimate relationship with him.

Even if other people knew about your relationship, you still think you’d like to keep your work and personal life wholly separate. You think it's just more simple that way, and you don’t want to become someone who seems unreliable.

It strikes you that you had been speaking to him formally, and even after realizing it, you don’t know why you still find yourself unable to slip into a more casual persona.

Maybe it’s because he was in his stage outfit, all made up and styled to perfection—or maybe it’s because the setting of a waiting room is one you associate so heavily with work—either way, you find yourself keeping a small distance from him, hands at your sides with the same indifferent, borderline stern expression on your face.

“Come back to the salon, please,” you say sharply before turning away.

Jeonghan winces. He encircles his fingers around your wrist to stop you from walking away any further, the gentleness of his touch contrasting the edge of your tone.

“You're so mean…”

His grip on your wrist makes you turn back around, looking at him with curiosity. Your eyes widen at the sight of an unfamiliar expression painted on Jeonghan’s face—one that’s slightly forlorn.

“Call me Han, or something. Please. I need you to ground me,” he whispers.

He’s laughing—his voice still has the teasing charm that’s always present whenever he speaks—but you can’t help but notice the small amounts of desperation that seep through.

Taking a few steps forward, you’re now much closer to him than before. You remove his fingers from around your wrist, and after a little hesitation, you slowly interlock your fingers together.

Immediately, Jeonghan squeezes your hand tightly, the tension leaving his body as soon as he feels the smoothness of your touch. He brings your interlocked hands up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles.

You freeze. The idea of PDA in a work setting makes you uneasy—but, you put that aside to focus solely on Jeonghan, because something was clearly bothering him.

“What’s wrong, Han?” you ask, much softer than before.

Jeonghan’s head hangs down as he chuckles meekly. “Nothing. It’s stupid.”

“No, it’s not. Stop downplaying yourself. What’s wrong?”

“I just- I’m nervous, baby.”

The pet name slips out naturally, but you barely register it. “It’s been a really long time since we’ve been on tour, and we’ve never been to this city before… I don’t know if anyone will like my performance? Like-”

“Shhh, Han,” you shush, tentatively stroking your thumb on the top of his hand. 

“It’s fine to be nervous. I’d be surprised if any of you weren’t nervous,” you say jokingly, rolling your eyes. You don’t notice, but Jeonghan's gazing at you with fondness, his lips threatening to quirk up.

“But what’s not fine is for you to think that no one will like your performance. You’re such an incredible performer, Jeonghan," you say, eyes shining. "Maybe even my favourite performer, but you can’t tell Mingyu I said that.”

Jeonghan scoffs dramatically, ripping his hand out of yours and crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Maybe? You’re breaking my heart, Y/N,” he chides.

A melodic laugh bubbles from you, and Jeonghan tries his absolute hardest to not break into a massive smile.

Jeonghan doesn't mind the distant, formal dynamic the two of you have during work. He, too, has an image to maintain and wants to be professional—though he won’t deny that he wishes he could see you like this more often: eyes crinkling in delight as you laugh at his antics. It suits you better than the serious expression you wear when you do his makeup, he thinks.

Jeonghan doesn’t try to stop you when you reach for his hand, taking it in yours again.

“But seriously, you’re great. Listen, they’re all there for you,” you say, looking up at nothing in particular as you listen to the muffled roars of fans singing along to the music videos that play before the concert starts.

Your sincerity is too much for his poor heart, and Jeonghan finds himself grinning widely.

“I suppose they are,” he mutters, making you laugh.

A silence falls over the two of you, before it’s broken by Jeonghan.

“Thank you,” he whispers genuinely. "For always supporting me."

You don’t say anything in return, only giving his hand one final squeeze before detaching yourself from him and beginning to walk away.

Though, you only make it a few steps before you’re frozen in your place. You're looking at something that makes your eyes widen and the wires in your brain snap.

Leaning against the threshold between the waiting area and the hall, arms crossed and a the ghost of a smile on his face, is Vernon. 

Jeonghan comes up behind you and, though he isn’t nearly as stunned as you, blinks in confusion at the sight of his member standing there. 

“Oh, hey man. What are you doing here?” he asks nonchalantly.

The younger shrugs. “You’ve caused quite the riot, hyung. Everyone’s looking for you."

Vernon pushes himself off the doorframe before directing his gaze to you. “So this is why you were so worried about him,” he wonders aloud, an amused glint in his eyes.

Words refuse to come from your lips as your jaw hangs open. All you feel is Jeonghan putting his annoying yet warm hand on your waist, giving it a small, excited squeeze.

“Worried about me, hm?” your boyfriend teases. You don’t even have it in you to shoot back, only turning your head away from him to hide your quickly burning face.

“How long?” Vernon suddenly muses.

“About half a year. You think she hates me yet?” Jeonghan jokes, though his eyes are half-lidded as he affectionately looks down at you.

"Seems like it," Vernon responds, chuckling. "Hey- is this why you sometimes don’t come back to the dorms?”

The younger's eyebrows shoot up as the realization dawns on him, breaking the signature, neutral expression he always wears. He's impressed. "God, we've just been thinking you, like, get drunk and blackout on the road or something."

Jeonghan throws his head back, the sound of his loud laughs ringing through the air. “Yeah. But don’t tell anyone- no one else knows.” 

Vernon whistles lowly, before bringing his hand up to mime sealing his lips and throwing away the key.

Your shock has somewhat subsided, and when you suddenly remember why you were in this situation in the first place, you gasp. “Oh my god, you guys have to go. Now.”

Even as you practically throw him off of you, the smile seemingly can’t be wiped off your boyfriend’s face.

Jeonghan can’t stop thinking about your shining eyes and the shade of red that tinted your cheeks, even as he walks away.

[pixels1utz]

Malleus x f!reader

Mating (this man is in heat),Rough cause that's all ik to do, my first ever malleus piece 😋 cause im in love with him

Implied breeding

Not proofread 👍

Anyways hope you enjoy 🩷or something

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Malleus has never been a harsh person or exactly rough in bed

But on those times whenever it's "mating season"

Just say bye to any sort of soft sex with him

Smut below here 🤧

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

For you it was a regular day going as it usually did you met up with ace to talk about god knows what and you left back to your dorm

Little did you know malleus was watching from a good distance and now that it's that season he's been really jealous of anything/anyone that gets to spend time with you

But you didn't know that you didn't know he was watching and was slowly losing his shit

Over any guy that you talked to

Since malleus was always prepared for this type of stuff and since it came unexpectedly he didn't tell you about anything cause he thought it might be weird

But oh were you in for a surprise when you had decided to visit him

You normally visit him whenever you get the time or almost everyday

So today didn't feel as weird when you visited him and today you wanted to wear one of those nice outfits that mal has given you,maybe thinking it might be a good surprise

So you headed on over to dorm

When you got there you'd normally see someone just chilling in the lounge but you didn't

So you made your way to malleus's room and knocked

But he didn't answer

So you tried the door and you noticed it was open so you went in and in that room was malleus in his bed

Covered in layers of blankets sweating from head to toe

"Malleus! Are you okay? Sick?" You asked

"You shouldn't be here" he said in a raspy voice a bit weaker

"What why?" You asked concerned coming closer to him and sat on the bed not too far from him

"I need you" was all he said back

Before basically jumping on you and kissing you harshly, as you where frozen cause you didn't even realize how fast he was

He started kissing you and trailing down to your neck and started sucking and biting, normally he wasn't harsh at all but he was using his full strength not to rip all your clothes off right now

He asked if you where okay with what's going to happen and then it caught you

Now you had realized that he was in heat or mating season (or whatever)

But you couldn't just leave him like this to suffer and since this might last a while on him

So you gave him your full permission to do whatever he pleases with you, thankfully malleus has some decency<3

So he started to take off your clothes as he did you rapped your legs around his waist

He started to play with you like sucking your tits and he placed one finger in your entrance Which was added on with two more

Cause you didn't realize this man apparently grows in size whenever it's mating time (malleus x3 idk however big u want you get)

So now you already where a moaning mess grabbing on to anything close like a pillow or the sheets

Not to mention the tears that where already streaming down

He continues to play with you until you came on his fingers so he pulled them out and stared licking

So he got down and started eating you out making sure to leave no drop as you muffled your noises with the pillow to not make anyone else hear

As he started massaging your clit with his thumb and the other hand massaging your boobs

He started basically tongue fucking you since his was long af

And so you came in his tongue, tasting your sweat from here he couldn't get enough

So he pulled his tongue out licking off any remainders and started kissing you, you let in already

And he started to put his tip in your tongue

Fucked cunt

Even the feel of his tip made you get shivers everywhere since you already where so sensitive

He slowly inched in you felt the stretch of his big cock since in heat it gets bigger isn't that wonderful

As he was half way in you grapped his horns as a support and he lifted your bottom half for a better reach in

Once he was fully in you where out of breath, shaking and crying and seeing the bulge he couldn't hold back

He slowly started pulling in and out with his pace getting faster as he kept going

You grabbed his horns shoulders anything to keep you up

He was fucking you so harshly :(

You couldn't even feel anything but pleasure

He was basically fucking you into to mattress

As he violently fucked your cunt all you could do is scream and hide them in the pillow

The more you grabbed his horns the more turned on he gets

But even after you came so many times he's yet to cum you started biting him and even after a while you had gone completely brain fucked too only a bit of human decency stayed with you

As you has changed positions so many times

And when he did come in you he didn't hold back he basically filled you to the brim some leaking out but he wouldn't allow that now would he

So he would fuck it back into you <3

Now he was satisfied and how Long where you two going at it, for about a few hours

You had already passed out and he was too intoxicated with you to leave your side

You definitely can't walk for a while

And once you woke up all you felt was sticky all over especially in-between your thighs, malleus has yet to wake so you tried to walk to the bathroom and failed

Thankfully to your beloved Malleus who scents that you moved he woke and helped you clean off

And you know who was waiting for you two outside Malleus's room?

Lilia!

Good luck explaining the noises to him (he knows he just wants to fuck with them)

So as Malleus and You are sat outside, you with a flushed face and Malleus scrambling to say anything

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

The end I'm too lazy to continue you gotta convince me.

Thanks for reading ig 👍

This took me about 34 minutes to make

YES I'M GONNA WRITE MORE SOON CAUSE I HAVE FREE TIME :3

(Shout out to school being closed for Christmas)

[rainylana]

“Yes, big!”

Eddie Munson x female reader

summary: uncle wayne catches eddie and reader in the act.

warnings: language, brief smut, wayne interrupts said smut, reader hits her head, this is very fast paced but it’s funny af so enjoy<3 happy new year!

a/n: my requests are open now! this was requested by @random183893

“Just what exactly are you doing?” Eddie gave you a pointed look from the couch, legs sprawled and hair let down freely.

“Princess Diana said this is what she had to do when she was a kid,” You held out your arms to balance yourself, two books atop of your head to keep your posture as you walked around the coffee table.

“Last time I checked you weren’t princess Diana.” He stared at you like you were an alien from outer space, just waiting for one of the books to fall. “What’s that even supposed to do?”

“I’m not entirely sure.” You admitted with a creased brow, keeping your chin pointed. “I think maybe it has something to do with posture? Don’t you think I look sophisticated, though?” You smiled goofily, barely sending him a glance so you wouldn’t mess up.

“Sophisticated isn’t what’s coming to mind, babe, but you’re definitely a sight.” He scoffed behind a ringed hand.

You pursed your lips, reaching up to grab the books as you stopped your pacing. “Why must you tease me for everything I do?”

“Because I’m such a good boyfriend that’s why.” He pouted with you, grabbing your hands and yanking you onto his lap.

You giggled and smacked his chest playfully, letting his hands shamefully grip your backside as you kissed him. “Bad boy.” You bit his lip, your hair falling over his face.

“Bad boy, huh?” He smirked up at you, squeezing the flesh of your skin. “If I’m so bad why are you so damn crazy about me?”

You relaxed your body against his thighs, your cunt displayed through your thin shorts as you softly rolled your hips. “Because I’m crazy, too.”

You both made out like animals in heat, rolling hips and arching your back into him until he laid you flush on your back against the couch cushions. You smiled seductively up at him, only in your t shirt, panties and shorts gone. You put your foot on his chest and playfully pushed him, and he smacked your ankle away as he undid his belt, tossing his shirt off to the floor.

You throbbed watching him roll a condom onto his length in hand, practically foaming at the mouth when he came down to kiss you.

“Oh, god.” You groveled your voice deeply when he pushed his cock into your cunt, grabbing onto his shoulder as he groaned with sensation.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him as close as he could be, lips attached hotly and wet, hips interlocked and bodies moving back and forth like a boat out at sea. The brush of his hips sent spiky sensations to your clit and you cried out, his nose above you flaring heavy breaths of lust.

“I’m gonna cum.” He panted, shaking through his words as you nodded quickly.

“Me too.” You tilted your head up. “Me too, me too, me too-”

“What the fuck!”

Both your eyes shot open and bulged, and your face had turned to the brightest shade of red when Wayne stood at the door, face shade matching your own. You screamed, rolling out from under Eddie as he hurriedly tried to tuck himself back into his jeans.

“Shit!” Eddie screeched, falling to the couch when you rolled away onto the floor, smacking the back of your head against the coffee table.

Wayne was traumatized, covering his eyes as he quickly ran out the door, dropping his hat to the floor.

“Fuck, babe, you good?” Eddie heaved, struggling to get up.

“Oh, my god.” You practically wailed, trying to reach your clothes that seemed a mile away. Your head was spinning now, but you hadn’t even realized you’d cracked it.

“Jesus, y/n, here get up,” He tried helping you, gulping as he looked toward the door. Fuck. “You hit your head, honey, are you okay?”

Your eyes almost welled up with tears in embarrassment, crawling over to your clothes as you stood on wobbly legs. “Oh, my, god, Eddie! Oh, my-”

“Calm down, calm down.” Eddie winced at the shrillness of your voice, watching to make sure you didn’t fall again. “It’s nothing the old man hasn’t seen before.”

Your eyes split into daggers. “What the hell does that mean?”

His jaw dropped. “I mean- he changed my diapers! He’s seen my ass once or twice. No big.”

“Yes, big!” You threw your hands up in the air, starting to wildly pace. “Big, big, big!”

Eddie bit his lip and went to the window, smirking at the absence of his uncle’s truck. “He left, babe, we’re good.”

He turned and was met with silence, and no sight of his girlfriend. “Y/n?” He huffed, stepping over his uncles hat as he followed you to the bedroom. He stopped in the door way, furrowing a brow at the sight of you rummaging through clothes. “Y/n, what are you doing?”

“Packing my bags!” You marched around the room gathering your things at a mad mans pace. “I’m moving to another country!”

He rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. “Now, why do you want to do that?”

“Because I’m humiliated!” You shrieked, blowing a curl away from your face as you shoved clothes in a suitcase. “Why aren’t you?” You stared at him perplexed. “Your uncle just caught us having sex!”

He couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, it’s not like he didn’t know we were doing it, y/n!” He pushed himself off the wall. “Wayne gave me the talk way back during middle school. It’s not a big deal, kiddo. Sex isn’t a sin, you know?” Eddie had hoped he’d gotten to you, but your face contorted and you burst into tears, his face dropped in concern.

“Oh, hey, come on,” He quickly gathered you close. “It’s okay, y/n, I promise.”

“I’m so embarrassed!” You cried. “How will I ever face him again?”

It took him a lot to not laugh, but his lips were etched into a big smile. He was so damn in love with you. “Was probably our own damn fault for going at it on the couch. He’ll definitely not sit there ever again.” He smirked, making you cry into his chest.

“Shh, hey- I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself.” He chuckled, kissing your head. “I sure hope you don’t have a concussion, you big cry baby.”

“I wish it had killed me!”

“You are so damn dramatic.”

[cjlouwho]

What made me furious and decide not to watch the rest of S8 (at least live, until and unless they fix bucks storyline) is the goddamn fact that Tim literally did this to fuck with the general audience who were finally getting back on track and getting interested in Bucks storyline like goddamn.

If you shot 8x06, BEFORE 8x05, why make 8x05 the way you made it???????? Just make Tommy a bit more of an asshole??? ((I'm not even kidding!!!)) Like you COULD have made him be dismissive of Bucks obsession with the 'curse', you could have made him feel bitter and slightly projecting on Buck's found family ((a throw away line like how 'oh didn't know you had a group text, frown)) something, ANYTHING that would have made us feel a bit more prepared for 8x06 and Buck's 1.0 era??! ((And btw YES it is biphobic to suggest that bi people need to sleep around to figure out what they want, for god's sake Oliver, just don't do episodic interviews anymore I BEG)).

But instead, we get sweet, understanding Tommy, we get fluffs pillow softly and talks as a non believer to a ghost Tommy, we get excited for love again Buck, and THEN you do this?????!!!

Unforgivable. Fuck you Tim. You've just told millions of people in a shitty af political climate that older gay men who struggle with their need for survival and loneliness that they're gonna end up alone if they date a bi man. Sorry that's AN interpretation. It is LOUSY representation. It is LOUSY and cruel writing. You messed with in a too big way on this one. So. Yes. Lost this viewer. Peace.

Yes to all!! They could have made Tommy more standoffish, could have had Eddie at the funeral instead. Or, if they had to do a breakup, have it be from Buck’s side. Because, out of the two (in 805) the love and adoration came mostly from Tommy. They did the whole thing just to be shitty.

[prettyboypistol]

Stardew Valley Bachelors x Male Reader Relationship Headcanons

Harvey

Super Shy Gay(TM)

I dont CARE if you're married he ASKS TO HOLD YOUR HAND

Kiss him. Kiss him in public. Do it.

If you call him gay he'll get flustered

Can't cook for shit but tries his best. yes, the smoke alarms are going off because he tried to cook bacon.

Harvey is one of those anxious boyfriends that asks you to text him that you made it to a place safe.

"Drive safe, I love you"/"Dear it's been 10 minutes since the ETA are you alright?" hella ass

probably forgets your anniversary ONCE, but then never again when you tell him you were upset.

Elliot

you know the men that forget your anniversary? NOT ANYMORE

you randomly come home to roses all the time.

"Oh hello my love i am writing a book about homosexual pirates wear this to immerse me please"

probably hides gifts around the house with little notes

bad at confrontation but will eventually talk to you about things that bother him like a week of letting it fester.

"BABY CAN WE PLEASE GO TO THE RENAISSANCE FAIR"

Dramatic ass bitch on GOD

probably likes to be choked

Shane

Calls you gay slurs affectionately and expects the same energy back at him.

He can cook like, 2 meal.

Remembers every little anniversary but is embarrassed about it. He remembers the first time you kissed, the first time you said i love you, etc.

Biggest cuddlebug known to man

Feels bad that you're the main breadwinner so he begs to take care of the chickens on your farm.

You WILL find Shane asleep with a baby chick in his arms sometimes i'm sorry homie

Confrontational af, if something happens that he isn't okay with he'll bring it up as soon as situationally possible in a kind way.

Sam

writes you love songs

he's a bit of a messy partner, but if you mention the mess it'll be spotless for like, 3 weeks.

if you get in a fight he'll brood outside with his guitar for a little, but will always get into bed with you at the end of the day happily.

loves surprises and surprising

he's all great when it's casual flirting, but as soon as you two start seriously flirting he gets all flustered.

bi-curious, you're probably the first man he's dated but not the first man he's kissed.

loves to binge TV shows with you

Sebastian

pan ICON

he thinks you're too cool for him, but he is grateful that you enthusiastically love him

calls you a hillbilly if you call him emo

if you ask about a project he's working on he WILL talk for hours

Falls asleep at his desk a lot, but appreciates when you carry him to bed

he loves when you talk to him "while he's sleeping"

Lets you ride with him to TechCons or Comicons, loves going as couple characters

you get invited to the Dungeons and Dragons campaign

likes calling you his boyfriend

Alex

picks you up and does reps with you to flirt

he loves touching your body after a long day of farming, the tan fascinates him.

a surprisingly great cook, always knows what you wanna eat without asking.

has never even looked at a man before you came along, so he's kinda awkward about serious romantic things

bad at confrontation, but great at supporting you

he calls you very masculine things like "superman" or "my man" a lot

Defends Dusty when he steals your spot on the bed, but offers his chest as a substitute.

[demigoddessqueens]

I saw an ask with the Crictal Role Characters defending S/O from shitty family so can that be applied to the Castlevania Characters as well like Alcuard, Trevor, Sypha , Greta, Hector, Issac, Lenore, Richter, Maria, Annette, Dracula, Olrox, Morgana and Striga.

Of course nonnie!!

Alucard - has those snarky quips ready in a whole “enough of your shit” way

Sypha - she’s a rambling grumpy mess at said family, maybe drops a few cusses, and just lets it out with a blunt “you are rude!!”

Trevor - oh he does not care at all! low gravelly sighs with a few grumpy “oh shut up, f*ck off”

Greta - nope! She won’t allow this, won’t stand for it! Tells them off so eloquently and then has you in tow

Hector - he knows a thing or two about bad families so he’ll drop some thinly veiled threats but won’t waste his time or breath

Isaac - not really holding back his disdain for your mistreatment and a Night Creature army can help with that

Maria - she’s piping mad if someone mistreats you and her lengthy vocabulary emphasizes that

Annette - she’s lost and gained family so it holds dear to her, and to have others show such disdain for you greatly angers her

Richter - family is everything to Belmonts so Richter is pissed AF to see you treated so disrespectfully and even argues with them, hyping you up too

Dracula - it’s the whole “what is a man?!” all over again and gods have mercy on the family who dared to insult you

Lenore - she’s got that scowl on her face and dishes out some mean snark if she feels riled up enough

Olrox - those piercing greens betray all the boiling rage he’s about to unleash, may go into snake form just to scare them

Striga and Morana - intimidation, snark, may break the dinner table, but also very protective of you

[needfantasticstories]

Hi again, @twistedstoryteller!

Okay, LU recs off the top-ish of my head in a sort of organized-ish order:

AUTHORS!

Angst, Action, and Mixed:

Faerule and the No Good Very Bad Road Trip by ImperialKatwala, PolynomialPandemic is a great "Chain Meets Hyrule" fic.

@gintrinsic-writing is phenomenal. A gem. I love all of it, but check the tags to find ones you're comfortable with. AO3 Blood Like Yours is my personal favorite, and the sequel Like Fire in Your Veins by @pocketramblr are both about Hyrule's Blood Curse from Adventures of Link. M for Violence for most of them, but check tags to be sure. If you like it, consider also...

Protector of the Golden Power by Sillus Hyrule centric but he has a different secret.

@somer-writes has a lot of great short one shots, some darker than others. My personal favorite is a sort of character study of the boys at their lowest and how they recover called "Depletion"

For a Sliver of Sunlight by tirsynni: Warrior's dedication to his brothers makes him question his title as Hero.

What are You to a God Slayer by Secretlysheikah BAMF Sky

Brethren in a Cradle by Skyward_Arpeggio BABY!!!! It is adorable, if a bit sad at the start.

Always Darkest Before the Dawn (Linked Universe Whumptober 2023) by Skyward_Arpeggio because in general they don't go above T ratings and write excellent fics.

this year it taught me (lost and ambitious) by qar Also EXCELLENT writer. "Sky has a separate moment with each member of the team"

Whumptober 2023 by Arecaceae Great fics! Plus, "Each story will have warnings in the tags and the story notes as well as a 0-5 whump rating. The ratings will be relative to my writing, so my 5 might not be equivalent to someone else's 5. I don't write MCD, extreme gore, non-con, or extreme emotional angst."

Major's Whumptober 2023 by major_de_speed Major's are also quite clean despite the M rating which is more about the violence.

Linkeduniverse Shorts by Skyward_Arpeggio LU Short fics

A Royal Castletown Wedding by Skyward_Arpeggio This story is so good!!!!!!!!!

Whumptober 2022 by Arecaceae more great fics, rated T.

LU Whump Dump by UnexpectedStormy (ArtemiStorm)  need AO3 account to read, but worth it! Linked Universe Whumpy One-Shots, rated T.

There's one I'm missing, and when I find it I'll add it here. It involves a cursed magical artifact that Legend messes with... it's intense.

Fluffier Fics:

Frosty Reception by Skyward_Arpeggio "Four’s glad to finally be home again, and he’s not the only one happy at his return." Cute fic!

S’more Stories by Ginger375 "A collection of drabbles and mini-fics for LUtober! Day 31: Costumes"

Sentiment by Arecaceae

nine heroes, one spirit by Imjustherefortheangst, uncleskyrule (unclemoriarty) tons of great short fics, all with G-T ratings

Finding Family by Tashacee "AU where Wild's scars are a lot worse and he isn't used to interacting with people. The Chain think their new brother is dope af and are determined to make him feel at home."

My Heart's Forsaken Me by sister_dear "Four looses his sword in the heat of battle, and it's picked up by someone else... Time’s aren’t the only secrets coming to light, and the gang discovers they still have a thing or two to learn from each other."

Ambush at the Bridge by JinxedRuby Very action and healing oriented fic, multiple perspectives on one event.

Dark Clouds on the Horizon by CubanCracker62 "he Chain ends up in Wild's era shortly before the events of TotK."

There are worse ways to stay alive by EliotRosewater one shots rated T.

Crack Fics:

Misplaced Heroes by notOK this had me busting out laughing SO MANY TIMES!

Peak Gremlin Energy by defenestration_nation "Fics focusing on various Links being chaotic gremlins"

Not Necessarily LU, but Adjacent or just LoZ:

Blood of the Hero by Skye_the_Lofty_Nutcase: (Wild) Link's parents have to step in to save him when the Shrine of Resurrection gets damaged. His parents are so well written, and Abel makes appearances in LU-related/adjacent fics, The Many Misadventures of Dad Squad and Dad Squad AU by Nancyheart, Silver_Captain82403, Skye_the_Lofty_Nutcase

which is part crack and part angst, mostly lighthearted.

Don't Worry Man, I'm from the Yiga Clan: Link makes a Yiga friend due to being a delightful chaos gremlin.

Feature MCD... but might be worth it:

And Still the Cradle Blooms by Solistrix: GORGEOUS literary masterpiece. The writing is unreal. It's descriptions and emotions are incredible. This is more like finding the meaning in eventual death, so of the three here I suspect you'll like this one best as far as not being too hurt by the character's mentioned end.

This is an Adjuration: I'll be real, this is full of action and excitement but yes, it has MCD and is making me cry, but it's also REEEEAAALLY good!

Blood Drops on Roses by HotCheetohatred Fantastic storytelling! Wild centric, Twi is big brother but from day one of Wild's journey. Unreliable young Wild as narrator is an absolute delight. Unfinished, no MCD yet, but it's in the tags so no promises.

Modern AUs for not-big-on-modern-au fans:

As a fellow not-seeker of modern AUs, I personally have enjoyed the following

@skyward-floored Incredibles AU

Wild’s Wolf by HotCheetoHatred "Modern AU where young Wild is a feral forest child, raised by Wolf Twilight. He is captured, separated from Twilight, and put under observation. Time helps him escape." Unfinished, and I admit personal bias here because HotCheetoHatred is my BETA reader.

ARTISTS!!!

@ovegakart: amazing action, gut-busting humor, and captivating storytelling! Does comics

@la-sera: beautiful, ethereal, and gorgeous illustrations and a great storyteller, loves downfall duo but does every one of the boys justice

@dfanart: HILARIOUS and such heartfelt emotions on them boys.

@kikker-oma great art from fluff to whump to action

@1caru has so many fluffy LU gems!

@linderosse has a Zelda's meet AU, does LU, and much more!

@lele5429 great illustrations and abstract pieces of LU fanart.

@theecholegend hahaha... arson.

@ikaishere has so many cute LU ones.

@thepinklink fabulous LU character sketches

@hiimgin BIAS! I got to work with them and they are FABULOUS!

@pluviatrix has art for their fic And Still the Cradle Blooms

@cherrypaii has fantastic illustrations of these boys!

AND MANY, MANY MORE!

(Commenters, please add artists I forgot. I know there are a ton Im missing!!)

Hope this helps you feel welcome!

[targaryenrealnessdarling]

No Pain, No Gain | Part 2 | PersonalTrainer!Aemond x fem!reader

A/N: thank you for all the love on the first chapter you little horn-dogs, particularly to all my queens I gave love to in the first chapter <3 you modern!aeomond girlies are smth else

Series Masterlist

cheers to @ewanmitchellcrumbs as per, for reading beforehead. luvu

warnings:  EVENTUAL SMUT, 18+, sexual tension, binge eating, mentions of breakup, cursing, dickhead Aemond, reader is horny af, English slang (soz), warnings will be added when needed

As much as you’d hate to admit it. Baela was once again right. Working out did make you feel a bit better. Getting your arse out of bed, with the constant ache of your legs and arms and forcing yourself out of the flat was a nice change of pace. Even more so when you thought about the fact you were doing something good for yourself.

 The two workouts you did after meeting Aemond for the first time were admittedly difficult. He’d sent you some workouts to do, each alternating depending on the day you would go to the gym. Legs, arms, mid-section. His sense of organisation was almost impressive, if it weren’t for the one word answers he would give he might actually be tolerable.

 You pull on your black sports bra. It’s Friday, exactly one week after you’d met up with him for the first time and to your distaste, you’d have to see him again. You’re about to pull it over your head, watching Baela fanny about gathering her stuff so she can stay with her sister for the weekend. It’s funny to watch her when she’s flustered like this, it makes her irritable, which is rare for her.

 “How is it…that my armpits ache?” you ask as you pull it over your chest.

 Baela white curls peer around the door, pursing her lips at the gym outfit.

 “What day is it today?” she asks, packing her makeup bag, a mess of dirty brushes and probably stuff she’s had for going on four years.

 Huffing, you check the schedule on your phone, “Some legs I think, maybe some core if I don’t kick him in the face”

 Baela shoots you a look, “Oh come on, he can’t be that bad”

 You sit on the bed, unlacing your trainers to pull them on, “It’s just his face when he said it to me. Genuinely he makes me just wanna-” your hands clasp together in a strangling motion, imagining his dumb face between your hands, “Ugh!”

 Once you’re laced up, you run your hands through your hair, “I hate men”

 “Same girlie” Baela says from the kitchen, “speaking of which I think your ex is back in town”

 You raise your eyebrows, “remind me, why I should care?” sneaking up behind you she squeezes your thigh playfully, right where the muscle is so tender, “Ah-ah, ow! You bitch”

 “Because you might run into him and I know what you’re like, ice queen” she says, packing every little thing into her overnight bag she can, even going as far as to sit on it, “if you do run into him just don’t give him the time of day”

 She jumps on the bag, trying to zip it up.

 Sigh, “Move, let me” you say, shooing her away.

 You lean your body over the bag, using your chest to sandwich the two parts together and zip the bag up, raising your arms in victory.

 “God that’s so hot” Baela says biting her lip to which you give her a playful swat, “Aemond’ll have you in that position later”

 Gag.

 “Baela! That’s your cousin!”

 She shrugs playfully, “Doesn’t mean you can’t fuck him”

 “I’m not fucking Aemond, Bae” you say sternly

 She scans you, silently judging, “You need a good dicking. I’m not saying it has to my cousin, but something please. You’re annoying when you’re horny”

 You put your hands on your hips, pretending to be offended as she drags her overnight bag to the door.

 “Oh please. I see how often you have to charge your vibrator”

 “Don’t you judge me”

 “I’m not judging, I’m just saying having a human dick might be due at some point” she half-shouts down the hallway, “Off to Rhaena’s, have fun!”

 The door slams shut after that.

 “Oh boy I will” you mutter under your breath, grabbing your car keys.

 Ping.

 And as if right on cue, the annoyance in question has sent you an Instagram DM. You read it already half-annoyed and tap off a reply as soon as you’ve typed it.

As much as you mean for the response to be sarcastic, you have a feeling he won’t get that vibe. And if he does, he won’t care.

 Besides, why doesn’t he use capital letters? Where’s the ‘sorry i’ll be late’? And who the hell signs off every message with their initials?

 This guy.

 He’s going to be the death of your patience for sure.

 Secretly, you appreciate coming to the gym in the middle of the day when it’s not as busy. It at least eases a tiny bit of that anxiety you feel. And you know it’s not true, but when it’s busy you feel like everyone is watching you, knowing that you’re not as fit as them or as good as them. It feels a bit like you’re on show.

 Once locking up your bag and coat, you pull your wireless earphone out and stick one in, pulling yourself onto the stairmaster. Start on Level 5 for 5 minutes and then the rest on 10, he had instructed. At first your legs felt like they were on fire, but it had gotten a bit easier as the week went on.

 As you step again and again, you put on a random playlist. Seeing as you and Baela share a Spotify, you get recommended some right tat and so you distastefully scroll past her music and land on a random one. Some 80’s tunes would have to do. You didn’t have any energy to care anyway.

 As boring as the stairmaster is, it gives you a good view for people-watching and generally being nosy. So as a-ha Take on Me plays in your left ear, you watch the various other gym-goers. Some putting very little effort into their workouts and slinking into the background. Some making way too much effort, banging the weights, grunting and generally acting like they’re cock of the walk.

 You’re so engrossed with people-watching, you almost jump out your fucking skin when someone yanks the airpod out your left ear, almost sending you arse over tit on the machine.

 “Shit” you mutter, hands grappling the handles.

 With a sour expression, Aemond pulls the airpod to his ear, frowning at the music.

 “80’s music. Really?”

 Your expression turns bitter pretty much as this dickhead opens his mouth. Briefly scanning him, he appears to be wearing the same kind of outfit. What fucking cartoon character behaviour is this?

 Yanking the airpod out his hand, you put it back in its case quickly, trying to hide the way your face heats up when you see how his hair is now and around his shoulders. Doubly so when his arms raise above his head to pull it into a bun in the middle of his head to get it off his neck.

 Bonk. Stop it. This guy’s a dick. If I‘m thirsting over my personal trainer, maybe Baela is right and it’s time to get out there and get laid.

 He gets onto the other stairmaster next to you and you try your best to ignore him. That is until he reaches over and adjusts the level on yours to go up to 10, as if you can’t do it yourself. A flash of annoyance passes your face and you swat his hand away.

 “I can do it myself, you know”

 He raises his eyebrows, victorious as if he’d wanted a reaction from you the moment he stepped in.

 “Tetchy” he muses.

 As he starts the same warmup, annoyingly faring better than you and barely out of breath, he doesn’t make another attempt to speak.

 “Busy day then” you say, startling him by speaking.

 He looks at you like he was just expecting you to be weirdly quiet the entire time.

 “What”

 “You were late”

 He raises his eyebrows, taken aback by the sudden conversation. But as swiftly as he looked over he turns away, “Family emergency”

 You furrow your brows, “Should you even be here if it’s a family emergency?”

 Aemond sighs, as if resigned from the conversation already.

 Well fuck me then I guess.

 The silence falls between you for a while and once your time is up, you hit ‘stop’ on the machine and go to the water fountain to fill up your water bottle. God it’s so difficult to even make small talk with the guy. As frustratingly attractive as he is, he’s not making it easy to get on with him.

 You screw the lid on the water bottle, adjusting the sports bra slightly and take a long sip, briefly looking behind you to see if he is still on the stairmaster. And he is. Staring right at you with that indifferent, stoic look. But as soon as your eyes meet, he looks down at his feet, stopping the machine.

 Was he staring at me?

 You can feel your cheeks burn with embarrassment the closer he gets, on the basis of filling up his own water bottle, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious in just your black sports bra and leggings.

 Stretches, first. If you can get through this it’ll be fine.

 They go relatively smoothly.

 You say relatively…

 …you’re staring at him the entire time, stealing glances where you know you shouldn’t. A few times he nearly catches you, so you internally scold yourself for staring too much. But you can’t really help it, especially with the big fuck off mirror in front of you.

 “60 second plank, go” he orders flatly.

 You get into position on your elbows, ignoring the way he’s looking over your form. If you think about it too much you really might have to bonk yourself.

 As he kneels there watching, you freeze, feeling his large hand softly on your lower back, pushing slightly.

 “Don’t arch your back too much”

 He pushes more on your lower back, dangerously close to your ass, which only makes your upper arms shudder even more than they already are.

 His hand smoothes up your spine to your shoulders, resting in between them.

 “Relax your shoulders for me”

 Fucking helllll…

 It’s weirdly intimate and sinful, lustful thoughts are beginning to sneak into your brain.

 Stop, stop, stop.

 Be professional.

 But his hands are so big. Slender long fingers running up your spine which makes you swallow thickly. And the way he said ‘for me’ is not helping at all in the slightest.

 The last thirty seconds feel like fucking years, and even once he’s taken his hand away, pleased at your corrected form, you feel it. The way his hand felt. How it burns hot even now he’s taken it away. You can practically memorise where they were, and wondered how they would feel between your th-

 STOP IT.

 The timer goes off and you’ve never been more relieved that it’s over.

 “Squats next”

 Oh Jesus.

 They’re not much better. You already feel dumb doing squats with someone watching, but he’s watching so intensely, hands on hips that it’s just distracting.

 “Deeper”

 You meet his eyes in the mirror, face betraying the sinful thoughts you’re having.

 “Excuse me?”

 He raises an eyebrow, his eyes flitting over your flushed expression.

 “You need to squat deeper”

 Oh…

 You’re halfway through them when he approaches from behind, extending one foot out between yours to kick your legs further apart. His knee grazes your thigh and you think you might actually die. Because even though he’s just correcting your stance, it felt so intimate the way he just kicked them apart like that without saying anything.

 You look at him in the mirror but he’s still observing your body as you squat and you find your line of sight has diverged to below his waistline (for some reason) searching for something underneath his black sweatpants. That is until his eye flicks up to meet yours in the mirror in front of you, and feeling cornered, you flit your gaze away.

 Is it hot in here?

 “3 more”

 And there it is. The sour way he speaks. It’s amazing how just a few words can dull the spark so quickly.

 His phone buzzes in his pocket and he seems to somehow go even more sour when he sees who’s calling.

“Sorry, just need to take this” he mumbles, already with the phone to his ear as he rounds the corner.

 Once out of sight, you adjust the straps of your sports bra, visibly flustered. What the fuck is wrong with me, get it together. That’s it, as soon as I get home I’m downloading that stupid dating app again.

 You absolutely cannot think of him this way. You’re paying him as your personal trainer, it’s wrong to think of him this way. And on top of that, he’s an all round dick. One word answers, being generally rude and condescending. God, how can a man with looks like that be such an unbelievable twat and manage to keep clients?

 He’s gone for a bit longer than you imagined, so instead you go to the leg press, sitting down and pulling out your phone. Opening your browser was a dangerous one, the last tab you had open was a sex toy website. Luckily nobody is behind you, but it still piques your interest. Maybe you should buy more, for the horny, out of control woman you seem to have become.

 “Looking good, sweetheart”

 Oh lord. You recognise that voice.

 Dread pools in your gut as you look up and click off your phone. Your fucking ex is right there, leaning against the machine with that smug look on his face. You pull the most hateful expression you can muster.

 “What do you want”

 He has the audacity to shrug, “Can’t I say hello?”

 “No”

 “Oh, come on baby”

 “Do not call me that” you warn him, eyes blazing with hatred, “Save it for your girlfriend, whatever her fucking name is”

 “Girlfriend?”

 “Yeah, the one plastered all over my feed” you say sarcastically, pretending to fiddle around with the weights, knowing full well you can only leg press 18kg.

 He smirks victoriously, revelling in the fact you’ve not blocked him yet.

 “We’re not together”

 “Oh, that didn’t take long” you put on a sickly sweet voice, dripping with sarcasm, “so what, you think you can just come crawling back to me?”

 He doesn't answer that, he simply lets his eyes rake over you in the outfit you have one and says, “you look really good”

 “Thanks, now piss off”

 “You won’t even get a drink with me, baby?” he asks, trying to seem sweet.

 “If you call me baby one more ti-”

 “Can I help you?”

 Aemond’s stern voice makes the man jump and he looks behind him, smiling nervously. Aemond stands, hands in pockets, looking down at him like he’s shit at the bottom of his shoe. Briefly, his gaze flits over to you, seeing how annoyed and uncomfortable you are with his presence.

 Your ex gives him a once over and brushes past him, but not before sending you a, “See you around” before disappearing into the furthest side of the gym.

 Gag.

 Aemond looks behind him, making sure he’s out of sight before looking back.

 “Was he bothering you” he asks flatly.

 You scoff, “It was that obvious?” you reply sarcastically.

 Aemond asks no further questions than that, allowing him to surmise the situation for himself. He looks off into the direction your ex went, his tongue poking at his cheek in what looks like annoyance. Tearing your eyes away from his gorgeous profile once again, you adjust the weight to 18kg and get your legs in position. The horizontal leg press was a lot more beginner friendly, so you pull your legs in front of you against the plate.

 Aemond watches for a second, squatting beside you while you adjust in the seat, eyes rolling over your form. If he was being handsy before, that’s nothing compared to what he does now. He clasps his large hands around your leg, pulling them apart slowly so that your feet are shoulder width apart on the plate. But he keeps his hand there for longer than you anticipated, which makes you swallow thickly, face quickly heating up again.

 He looks up at you, “You need to spread your legs a bit more” he instructs lowly, his eyes trained on yours as he says it.

 You feel like you’re staring at his mouth, really analysing what he’s said. The connotations aren’t lost on you, and a familiar flutter blossoms in your belly. Clearing your throat, you start the set, trying your best to not look at him and just focus. Your clothes feel too tight and the air feels too hot. Electrified, as if a current could be passed between you both. Hands grip tightly onto the handles.

 He scoffs, reaching right over you to adjust the weights, “You can do better than that”. Even his voice seems to have changed and he’s so close you can smell whatever detergent he must use for his clothes, it makes you stay frozen in your spot. Now being able to see every little detail of his face, his arm so close to brushing against your sports-bra clad chest. Your brain feels like it’s made of cotton as your breathing shallows.

 He changes the weight to 30kg and watches you as you carry on with the set quietly. The weight isn’t bad in itself, you’re just not used to it, so your legs start to shake and your chest starts to flush with a soft sheen of sweat. Feeling a bit embarrassed about the shaky legs and the fact that he’s so insistently watching you makes you want to disappear into a hole in the ground.

 “Struggling?” he smirks.

 He smirks. The bastard smirks.

 You give him a look, but as much as you try, it’s not as icy as before, betraying how you’re really feeling right now. But if he sees it behind your eyes, he doesn’t let it show on his face.

 The bastard’s doing this on purpose.

 It’s not even the fact he’s doing it that makes you mad. It’s how easy it seems to be.

 He takes his hand away, obviously very pleased at what he’s done.

 You try to work through the last 3 reps.

 “Such a good girl for me”

 Your cheeks burn scarlet, your whole body is hot as you look over at him in shock. But he’s looking at you so casually.

 “What”

 He smirks again, raising his eyebrows, “I said just one more for me’”

 You just do the last one as quickly as possible, brushing past him with lightning speed to gather your belongings. The weights land back with a loud clunk. You are certain you’re going mad, feeling the sweat cool on your skin as you stuff your things in your bag.

 “You ok?” he asks with mirth in his tone. You don’t look back and nod your head quickly, just knowing that he’s right behind you with his stupidly large frame, stupid toned legs, stupid sexy arms, stupid long fingers, stupid stupid smile.

 “Yep, fine” you blabber it out quicker than you can think and try and change the subject, “Hope the family emergency is…okay”

 It comes out more awkwardly than you intended. Aemond only huffs a laugh through his nose. He’s not been this…weirdly friendly since the first time you both met.

 “My Dad’s dead but yeah”

 Your heart freezes instantly, and you break whatever promise you’d made and look at him. He looks very casual about it, hands in pockets, as if it’s just a minor inconvenience. Trying to keep your expression neutral.

 “Oh”

 There’s a bit of a quiet moment between you both as he raises his eyebrows.

 “Impressive” he says, making you send him a quizzical look.

 “What is?”

 He licks his lips, smirking at your confusion, “You didn’t default to ‘Oh, I’m so sorry’”

 He says it jokingly, but you can tell there’s some tension in his voice.

 “Should I?”

 You get the sense that this guy isn’t so often taken off guard, but the question you pose him now seems to and the smirk is wiped off his face, replaced with an unsympathetic expression.

 “No” he answers simply.

 Clearing your throat and throwing your coat on now that the heat of the situation has somewhat dissipated, you inhale deeply, “see you next week”

 His tongue pokes the inside of his cheek again, jaw twitching as his eyes search your face, before scanning you again. That smirk tugs at one side of his lips, making your eyes flit there for a brief moment, admiring their shape as he speaks.

 “See you then”

 You’ve never been more sexually confused in your life you think. So even when the session is over, you just sit in your car, processing it all. Even scrolling through your phone doesn't take your mind off it, reminded by your past search history.

Your flat is weirdly quiet without Baela there, lonely even. For a few hours it makes itself quite useful, as you lay in bed with your current favourite sex toy trying to get these horny thoughts out of your head. But every time you’re close he pops into your head. Jolting you back into the real world.

 He’s a personal trainer, he’s supposed to be hands on. You’re just touch-starved.

 He’s a dick!

 Maybe he’s just cold at first.

 He thinks you’re a weak as fuck, stupid and brainless. Who are you kidding?

 Your brain attempts to make sense of it all.

 After (unintentionally) edging yourself for what feels like hours, your brain and thoughts betray you severely and you orgasm washes over you with a pained and shuddering cry, all while thinking about all the ways he touched you today and what it felt like to have his burning skin on yours for just a moment.

 “Fuck…” you sigh out loud..

 You want to fuck your personal trainer.

 Buzz buzz.

 ‘Hay-Baela’ appears on your phone and you pick up quickly.

 Baela: Evening hoe, how’s things?

Y/n: Fine, just devoured a takeaway.

Baela: Anything nice?

Y/n: Just some Indian food which I’m sure will come back to haunt me.

Baela: Be a shame if it didn’t. How was your session?

Y/n: *sigh* yeah fine, my legs were shaking a bit during leg press though. Had me on 30kg.

Baela: Yeah, Aemond said you did well.

 Wait…what?!

 Y/N: Eh?

Baela: Aemond texted me earlier, said you did good and you were toning up well?

Y/N: Right…

Baela: Anyway, have a good weekend, don’t burn the flat down. Oh, and I’ve got a parcel arriving tomorrow.

Y/N: Wait, Bael-

Baela: Bye!

 The bitch hangs up on you, leaving you in a post-nut haze, confused and somehow more horny than when you started.

The fucker must be doing this on purpose.

“Fuck!”

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