#gods help me im on pain train again

[not-so-lost-after-all]

She thought she knew what she was doing, that they can make a deal with the devil and win again against all odds.

Those spawns deserved some peace. Were too dangerous. Dead for so long. Astarion could have had it all - his pain, weakness, humiliation and guilt wiped away in one moment.

Even after he carved the runes into Cazador's flesh, their minds remained connected. So she felt it when it happened a few moments later and it was like some dark cold twisted tenticles spreading through his mind. Then he pushed her out of his head so aggressively her nose started bleeding in the red dim light. It took her a few words with him to realize what a fool she was...

---

He offered to turn her almost right away, to her surprise. After all, what difference does it make after everything she's done for him? She frowned, she's not going to be anyone's puppet.

“But this would be different. I love you, isn't that what you wanted to hear?”

(“Everyone's favorite. I love you.”

“Having fun, aren't you?”)

She sighed and took a few steps to kiss him. Astarion started caressing the back of her neck, practiced touches as she's fully aware but she lets him. Then the grasp around her throat tightens a bit and he punctures her lower lip with one fang. She suddenly felt especially dirty and pushed him away. There's an icy numbness around her chest now because yes, this felt exactly as wrong as she expected.

“Isn't it a little late to be peevish, pet?” he chuckled.

---

There weren't many times they spoke to each other but many times it came down to her decission to remain “pathetic”, “human” or  “unpolished”. He insisted on her being his spawn, she admited to herself resignedly.

He told her once that he should have turned her in her sleep, that would teach her a lesson. He noticed her widened eyes and drank the pain. Then she returned fire with fire. That night she cried in her bed for the first time in a decade, she didn't even know if it's more out of self pity or a gnawing guilt over what she's done to him.

---

“There's no use in us fighting any longer.” He said that with more frustration than sadness. Her temples throbed, slowly processing what he's saying. “It is for the best.”

“I suppose you can say so when I've done terrible things for you with nothing to show for it,” she couldn't resist but her tone was still as calm as she could manage.

That awful chuckle of his again. “The man of your dreams, the hope of him, is your own worst enemy. The greatest crimes in this world are commited for love,” he almost vomited the last word.

No, that's not it but he never understood that's not what she wanted and she failed to really show him.

(“I can't be what you want to see in me.”

“You already are what I want to see in you.”)

He waved his hand like a magician which she would find amusing any other time. “I know how to play with it and I can't resist playing the hand I know.”

She was stunned for a moment - gods, she knew so well he has sharp tongue but even for him, this was a low blow. It was pointless to tell him she'd go back in time if she could but she sure as hell won't give him another satisfaction.

“Well then,” she cracked a smile, “I hope you'll be happy in your twisted way. Don't think of me when you sink your teeth into someone else's neck.”

“Thank you for everything, darling, and don't think of me when you scratch someone else's back.”

(“Stop it, you don't have to say such things,” she started a bit haughtily but quickly mellowed down. “I already said I'm going to help you. And I know I'm far from being your usual first choice. It's allright, I've never been anyone's first choice.”)

---

She was already drunk from four cups of wine when Karlach joined her at the table at the inn.

“One more cup with me and then we'll call it a night, what do you say?”

She grinned at the tiefling and sighed grumpily. “I suppose the last weeks took a toll on me, that's all. Your glorious leader,” she pointed out bitterly, “will be good to go in the morning.”

“Bullshit. Of course it's him. We can leave without him if you want.”

She shook her head. “No, I can deal with him and we need all the help we can gather. He's going to help, even if for his own gain.”

“Then you're stronger than I would be,” Karlach murmured.

“Not really but for now... lets pretend it doesn't hurt at all.”

She emptied the fifth cup to be sure she will blissfully forget what she lost and what she's done, even for the night.

[l0rd-0f-c0ws]

I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[rebelssvy]

personal trainer

ushijima x reader

part two link here!!

LABELS: suggestive, kageyama cock blocker

being the personal trainer for the adlers was wel…. hard.

the men on the team often coming to you with their little kinks they develop. begging you to massage the pain away. having you tape their swollen ankles. you liked seeing the vulnerability of athletes that were considered perfect.

and yes it was nice, constantly being surrounded by huge men with bulging muscles. it was truly your dream job.

one man always standing out to you. ushijima wakatoshi.

you had been the team trainer before he was drafted to your team. when you were informed of the young man, you took interest in him.

it was a no brainer, he was tall, handsome and very strong.

it was even better that every day he would come to you with a new problem that you needed to fix. helping him with all kinds of tools and stretching exercises so he could be the best.

so now here you were, on the bench of your specialized room, taking a scraper to his thighs.

he worked out so much that they grew more sore each day. you opted to the metal tool to relive some of the tension.

it was a very painful way of relief. in the moment it hurts bad. but after the treatment is over it was nice. so you felt bad for the man. but seeing him grit his teeth and wince in pain lit something in you.

as you continued your work on this thigh, his head tilted back. bobbing his adam’s apple, taking in sharps breaths from the pain.

you noticed his hand lift up, almost like it had a mind of its own. it slowly made its way to your hand. before it made contact, he moved it back down to the side of the bench.

“i know it hurts ushijima. im sorry. but your almost done!” you beamed up at him.

“….fuck….y/n” he breathed out.

the flame inside your core grew.

you watched him intently. but before you knew it, your job was done.

placing the tool down on the bench and rubbing small circles into his reddened thigh with your fingers.

“your done. but i know it hurt so just let me do this for you…. it will only take a second.” you said to him as you made your way to the unscented lotion in your counter. you used this on the boys when they needed basic massages.

“you don’t have to…” he said bringing his head back up to look at his treated body.

“nonsense. cmon i am your trainer! let me make you feel better” you said walking back to him.

“thank you.” he said to you in a firm tone.

he didn’t talk much. sometimes he did with you, it made you feel special.

you brought some of the lotion onto your hands and some on his thigh. you started your care on the man.

he let out a sigh of relief.

you worked your magic on him. your hands doing motions that you had mindlessly trained yourself to do.

you stared at his face. he stared at your hands.

you didn’t really look away. he was beautiful. his cheeks were all blushed, lips swollen from biting down at them. dewy from sweat, but not sweaty.

you took note of every part of him. studying him.

your concentration was broken when he let out a sharp gasp.

oh my god.

you didn’t notice how close your hands had gotten to his…. length.

looking down at your hands that rested on his upper, upper thigh. dangerously close to his man hood. you gasped taking your hands off him and stepping back.

“i am so so sO SORRY!” you motioned out. shaking your hands and bowing your head to him.

you stared at the ground not even wanting to look at him.

mortified. you were mortified.

“it’s ok.” he said softly.

you looked up at him.

you giggled at his face, that was just as red hot as yours was.

you let out a sigh of relief.

“no i really am sorry.” you said stepping back next to him again.

“i really didn’t mind…. if im being honest.” he said in a low tone. you brought your eyes to his.

and god. he meant it. his eyes were full of fire, passion.

before you could another word in you heard your door open and shut. looking to your entrance kageyama stood there.

you went over to talk to his teammate. ushijima just watched.

somthing overcame him that day.

………………………………………………………………………………….

- I LOVEEEE HIMMMM GOD.

part two link here!!!

[kiwiikato]

mommy’s here // ken sato x reader

Chapter Eleven

masterlist

note! hi everyone, im really sorry for the long, and i mean, LONG waiting time. motivation comes and goes for me and i'm really sorry you were all at the end of that stick. this chapters not that long but i hope you guys can forgive the wait. thank you to all the comments who waited and send me good wishes. i'll try to update soon again ♡

"come on, stand up, we have to measure you." a soft voice spoke out, their words gentle as they ushered the giant baby kaiju to stand up fully. "and analyze, your entire genetic makeup." mina added, trying to explain the situation as best as she could to the scared kaiju.

the baby kaiju whined, scared still of professor sato, seeing him as a stranger. you turned to see that ken had finally woken up, taking a small nap on the couch earlier from the emotional stress.

even though he wasn't the baby kaiju's biological father, it was clear as night and day that he had found himself growing closer to the baby, emotionally claiming it as his own. the same in fact could be said for you.

"what are you doing?" ken let out a yawn as he spoke, rubbing his eyes as he went to stand to the right of you. his dad turned around, quickly but softly responding. "we need to examine her so that we can plan a training regimen to protect emi from predators."

your eyes widened a bit hearing the name, not being able to hold back a smile at the love story professor sato had told you countless times. you heard kenji stutter, his words almost caught in the back of his throat. "emi? what? huh? you named her after mom?" he asked, his tone confused but slightly affectionate hearing his mothers name.

"i think she would approve." professor sato spoke, his voice holding a sweetness to it, almost like a smile was behind it. he looked down, reaching into his bag on the side and pulled out the same colorful bunny that helped the baby kaiju, now known as emi, stay calm when fixing her dislocated arm.

"okay emi, stand up nice and tall!" he happily spoke as he raised the toy up. you watched as kenji's face dropped, almost in a slight shock. "oh my god, my dad is a kaiju whisperer." you turned to see emi get up with ease, her red scales shining against the laugh of the underground lair as she chirped excitedly.

"yeah but you're a kaiju dad, that's even more shocking." you joke with him, instinctively moving to the sides and hitting your hips with his own, making him chuckle. "well that makes you a kaiju mother." you smiled at his response. "i know, i know." your voice holding a vulnerable emotion at the sentiments you had found yourself growing for emi.

you turned to your left, watching mr. sato's voice turning serious for a second. "mina, please prepare to insert the micro tracking device." he said as mina floated closer to emi. in an instant, his voice changed back to being soft. "emi, can you do like bunny?"

he held the bunny up again, stretching out their plush right arm to be up. emi chirped as she adorably held out her hand, her beady eyes full of curiosity. mina watched as she pulled out an injector, naturally floating to emi, who looked a little fearful.

mina injected her quickly, offering her words of reassurance. "good girl!" it was always sweet to see the twos interactions. emi looked up, enjoying the lack of pain from the tracking injection.

you and kenji watched in awe, taking in how mina listened to professor sato with ease. the urge to snap a photo gnawing at you, but you resisted. "mina, treat, please." mr. sato asked politely as mina gave him a pink donut.

emi saw it, walking closer in joy at the sweet treat. "and before we eat, we always say, 'itadakimasu!'"he says excitedly. emi walked closer, until she suddenly stopped. her cheeks puffed up, making you and kenji back away instinctively.

"professor sato, i believe that emi is experiencing a bit of nausea from the medicine." mina said, as she floated away too. the sight would have made you laugh if it wasn't for your concentration on not being barfed on.

"uh, dad, step away. seriously." kenji said as he grabbed your hand, pulling you with him. "professor, i really think you should step away." you said concerned at his stubbornness.

"oh she's fine! itadaki—" professor sato was cut off as emi's nausea finally caught up to her, she vomited, sending mr. sato flying as his back hit the wall. "—masu." he said in shock.

you watched as his glasses slid from his face, his body completely soaked. your mouth gaped open at shock at how far he flew. it was quiet for a second till you heard emi slightly giggle, he chirps ringing through the room. you couldn't help but to snort and laugh with her, trying to stop yourself from laughing at kenji's dad who laid there helpless.

▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ (each paragraph is a compilation scene in the movie)

"get back here right now, missy!" kenji yelled out in his ultra form as you fought to pick her up with your ultra form. your hands scrambled around, making the both of you spin. emi ran away from the both of you, making you both lunge at her, only to trip in unison and give up as you both laid there.

you now suddenly sat on the couch, watching the tv. kenji hands fumbled the ball, making it slip out of his hands as he struggled to pick it up. "that's another loss for the giants, making it six in a row." the commentator said as the giants coach watched with a straight face.

kenji sat on the toilet reading the newspaper, jumping slightly at the door slamming open. emi peered inside, chirping for him but was quickly pulled away by your ultra form as kenji slammed the door shut. his one second of peace was quickly ended when mr. sato walked in without a shirt a towel around his waist, slamming the door open. he casually walked in like he owned the place as kenji yelled into the newspaper in annoyance.

you stood in your ultra form as you grabbed emi, helping her put on her arm floaties. professor sato stood pointing at a chalkboard, showing three steps. "1) swim. 2) catch. 3) eat." each one with an adorable drawing of emi doing those steps.

you watched in fear as you watched emi sink down in the water from the lair. your hands pulling at your hair as you moved to go into the ocean. only stopping when you saw kenji in his ultra form diving down and quickly swimming to get her.

you ran on a giant treadmill of sorts, with emi behind you. a blue holographic image in front of you of three cute fishies to entice emi's motivation to catch the fishes.

kenji sat hunched over on the table, his head on the palm of his hands. he looked up to see his dad come to him, holding a cooked container of noodles. he set it down gently, making sure he ate. he left as you came in holding a blanket. you gently placed it over his body, making sure he was warm. you smiled, placing a kiss on his lips before walking away with kenji smiling.

emi held the familiar giant blue baseball bat as she copied kenji's swings. she swung, practicing her form to hit baseballs much better than the last. now kenji stood, helping one of his teams members. he fixed their hand placement on the ball and then did a swinging motion once again. the member copied him, smiling at his hit.

professor happily read an book to emi, kenji, and you and he copied the ultraman poses. he made laser sounds, jumping up in joy. it now showed ami reading a cartoon ultraman picture book as her daughter peered over, excitedly beaming at the photos.

kenji stood focused as he hit the baseball with a loud slam. the crowed cheered for him, jumping with excitement as the roared in excitement. emi cutely posed as she put on her water floaties, quickly cutting to her being held in ultramans arms as he guided her swimming, while chasing fishes. he pushed her forward, emi swimming in small pushes as she caught a fish in her mouth.

a holographic city showed as KDF jets chased after the four of you. emi ran following you as you ran by her side. kenji ran with professor sato on his back, making you laugh at the strained emotion kenji had.

the games commentator spoke up. "climbing back into contention, the giants are just one game out of first place!" kenji bat swung forward hitting the ball that came flying at him. his teammates cheered out as they jumped from the benches.

ami's voice spoke. "the giants are really coming together, thanks to a more mature ken sato." she said as they showed ken talking with his teammates, everyone focusing on him, showing respect to one another.

emi jumped up from the holographic training, a laser beam shooting out of her mouth, hitting the fake jets and making them explode. you jumped up in your ultra form, picking her up and hugging her for the progress she's made.

"we're going to the playoffs! sato's home run clinches a playoff spot for the giants!" the commentator yelled as ken gave his teammates high fives and smiles, making his way down to the locker rooms.

"i don't know what's happening with sato, but something has changed for the better. not only is he shining on the field, but he had brought this team together." ami spoke as it showed sato laying down hugging you in his ultra form. you held emi in your arms, as professor sato laid on emi's head, the four of you lulling to sleep.

TAGLIST - CLOSED

@ilovemyhusbandaaravos @miffysoo @ldykir4 @chaoticotaku @channit @shingsoluvely @m00nd0v3 @mixvchelle @ifharbingerbad--whyhot @dreamayy @justanotherkpopstanlol @bat1212 @angelitadiaz @snowbusiness @witcwitchy @mizzowizzo @buggs-1 @mmeerraa @everywonuu @nevermorekisses @f1uveryysblog @t4naiis @stxrrielle @ixqiix @arrozyfrijoles23 @sincerest-one @imsimping4life @sassy-cat-in-town @jack-of-all-trades-696 @flutterfly365 @eternalgoddessofart @hulyenl @leabrainrot @sunmigs @m3q3kic @lynbubble @leviannx @call-me-nyxx @gurofushi @ya-boi-v @im-sidney @haitani-zoe @mtheooo @chreiiii @secretlyapartofthisfandom @greenmanshoe @badbishsblog @reallysparklychaos @deimmortales99 @ashsallyblue2 @matchalatte06 @random-3455 @reivelmin @jennyfernan @solatiiium @liliabrary @maxi-ride @22carolina08 @coffetears @vyxnn-xage

[cherryberry444]

Tryna Smoke

pairing: luke castellan x ares!reader

summary: in which you share a blunt with your sworn enemy

warning: kissing, sexual innuendos, a whole lotta weed

contains: flirting, smoking, banter, cocky luke

word count: 1562

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

You couldn't fucking stand Luke Castellan. As cliche as it may sound, it was absolutely true. He was a pain in your ass, the bain of your existence. He never ceased to find a way to ruin your day, every day, all summer. Everyone knew it, they were well aware that the two of you never did see eye to eye. And the fact that the two of you were the strongest swordsmen in camp sure didn't help your rilvary.

Luke was an asshole, that was a given, but you also just found him so so irritating. He was way too cocky, although, if you were honest you could say it was valid. He was gorgeous, even after he came back from his quest with that nasty scar on his eye, he was still gorgeous, strong and an incredible fighter. But so were you. If you were a man, you're sure you'd be worshipped just like he was. It's not that you weren't respected or praised for your attributes, but it just wasn't the same.

You'd never admit it, but you were jealous of all the attention Luke got. It just didnt seem fair, you were the daughter of Ares for crying out loud, not Luke. Hermes' kids were worthless bums compared to your likeness, but not him, never him.

You had just finished training for the day and you needed a breather. You went and took a warm shower before walking to a little spot between the lake and the woods. You squeeze your damp hair with the towel you brought out there in hopes it doesnt drip all over your camp half blood shirt. As youre walking towards the spot you smell something familiar but refuse to believe your senses.

You turn the corner to see none other than the bane of your existence, Luke Castellan sitting there and even more shocking, with a blunt in hand. He quickly scuffles at the sound of footsteps before realizing it was just you. He lets out a sigh.

"Shit! Y/n, you scared the shit out of me!"

"Luke Castellan? Scared? You must be up to no good" you tease. "What are you doing out here?"

"What am I doing out here? What are you doing out here?" he retorts.

"This is my secret spot" you both say at once before a moment of silence begins.

You squint.

"How is it your secret spot if it's my secret spot?" you ask.

He shrugs. "Must not be much of a secret" he says before taking a puff.

"How the hell did you sneak that in here.."

"I have my ways.." he says before taking a puff.

You roll your eyes. "You're such a criminal"

"Mm say it again im close" he teases, closing his eyes.

You scoff. "How the hell have I never seen you out here?"

"Beats me..I'm out here pretty often"

"Hm..I can't believe you're brave enough to do this out in the open"

"Please everyone's sleep, I'm not stupid"

"Yeah sure"

He scoffs. "Can I have my peace and quiet now?"

"Why should you? If anything I should snitch"

"You wouldn't.." he looks up.

You shrug. "You're right I wouldn't"

He smiles slightly, shaking his head before smoking again.

"You wanna hit this?" he asks casually, surprising you.

"Are you offering me a blunt Luke Castellan?" you walk closer towards him.

He chuckles. "Fuck no" he coughs. "Im offering you a hit, sweetheart. Dont get ahead of yourself."

You roll your eyes. "Indica or sativa?"

"Indica, of course"

You smile softly, going to sit next to him. "Pass it" he hands it over.

You take a couple hits before he asks, "So you smoke?"

You pass the blunt back, clearing your throat. "Yeah..I just haven't smoked..Shit, since I got here"

Luke laughs softly. "Man I been smoking here for years" he says before taking a hit and blowing the smoke out.

"That explains the stupidity"

"Hey! Don't bite the hand that feeds you!"

"Pass!" you demand before he obeys.

"So fucking demanding" he rolls his eyes.

"I have to be"

"Says who?"

"I just do"

"What, cus of your father? The gods aren't the only thing that matters you know"

"Shut up Castellan"

"I'm serious"

"You're high"

He shrugs and frowns. "Thats pretty likely"

You roll your eyes with a smile.

"Are you high yet?"

"Not enough" you groan

"Then keep on, I'll be generous tonight"

"What a gentleman" you say sarcastically, taking another hit.

"You know, I could be quite charming if you didn't hate me so much"

"I know you're charming, its why I hate you."

He scoffs before groaning. "You wanna be different so bad"

"Why cause I don't worship the ground you walk on like everyone else at camp?"

"No one worships me"

"Oh please" you scoff

"Can you blame them? I'm incredible"

"Youre an ass!"

"Is this how you treat the guy that grants you free weed?"

"Just stating a fact is all"

He rolls his eyes. "If im such an ass why are you here with me?"

"For free weed! Duh, c'mon!"

"Nah, youre not that shallow. I think youre tolerating me y/l/n"

"The only thing I'm tolerating is this blunt" you joke.

"Yeah but youre sitting here, close to me, late at night, by the lake, looking into my eyes" he begins

"And you came out here with your hair all damp and.."

"Luke what are you saying" you laugh lightly.

"I'm saying its kinda sultry dont you think?" he suggests.

You scoff. "In your dreams, Castellan"

"You have no idea" he says in a way that kinda makes you believe it.

You squint. "You are high"

"Yeah, but.."

"But?"

He turns more towards you. "Well..I just think youre too harsh on me y/n. I think you should give me a chance"

"A chance at what, sword boy?" you tease.

He smiles. "A chance to show you why you shouldn't hate me so much"

"Oh yeah? And how do you plan to do that?"

He shrugs. "A few kind gestures, starting off with the weed obviously"

"Luke, we've always hated each other, why change that?"

"I've never hated you y/n" he says before blowing smoke out.

You squint.

"I've never hated you. I've always respected you, been impressed by you.. Yeah we have our banter but..I've never hated you"

"Oh"

"You just hate me"

"Oh"

"Finally at a lost for words? The world stopped spinning" he jokes

"I just assumed.."

"You assumed wrong"

"Well now I look horrible"

He laughs. "Youve never looked horrible a day in your life. Hey..Have you ever shotgunned?"

You laugh nervously. "What? Like with weed?"

He laughs. "Yeah, with weed princess"

"I haven't...It's kind of intimate, no?"

He shrugs. "I guess..You wanna try it?"

You tilt your head. "You tryna fuck me Castellan?"

"What?!" he laughs nervously. "No I... Do you trust me?"

You scoff. "Fuck no"

He rolls his eyes. "Alright well..Do you want to or no?"

You must be high by now because you nodded your head and said "Yes"

"Cool" he smiles nervously. "It'll be cool I promise, it's only weird if you make it weird" he moves closer to you.

"Alright" you take a nervous breath, wondering what's gotten into you.

"Alright" he says lightly pushing your hair out of your face and softly pulling your face close to his.

"Keep your mouth open"

You laugh. "Im gonna look stupid"

"Not possible, c'mon" he says before taking a long hit.

He holds in the smoke before tilting his mouth towards yours and blowing the smoke into your mouth slowly, his lips so increduously close to yours. You close your eyes and consume the smoke, trying to inhale it after before breaking into a coughing fit.

Luke laughs, but pats your back as you let it out.

"Oh gods, that was a lot" you wheeze

"You alright?"

"Think im fine now..Um that's embarrassing"

"It's alright it was your first time" he rubs your back softly.

"It was definetly something...At one point I thought we were gonna-"

"Kiss?" Luke finishes your sentence.

You blink fast.

"You want a kiss, y/n l/n?"

Suddenly youre flustered.

"Don't tease me.."

"I'm serious, why not?"

"Um cus I hate you?!"

"Yeah but you also think I'm sexy, huh?"

"No I d-"

"Y/n, be truthful."

"Shut up"

"Make me"

"Oh gods Luke"

"I could get used to the sound of that" he moves closer. "Tell me you don't want this and I'll move away"

You grow quiet.

"Hm" he smirks slightly.

"You're crazy, Castellan"

"Crazy for you"

"Quit flirting"

"Not flirting..I mean it" he cups your cheek.

"Luke what is happening?" you ask.

"Im confessing my feelings for you y/n that's what's happening. I like you, I always have."

"Luke..."

"And it might be the weed talking but I'd really like to kiss you right now"

You lose all control of your body and plant a soft, chaste kiss on his lips, leaving him shocked.

"Thank you, but honestly sweetheart, is it ok if I kiss you a little more than that?"

You nod before he leans in and kisses you sweet and long, syncing your lips together slowly.

"Thank god for marijuana" he jokes after he breaks the kiss.

[thetormentita]

spes ultima dea - chapter 2

Audaces fortuna iuvat — Virgil.

Pairings: Ofc x Lucius Verus

A/n: maybe I left some things unwritten between first chapter and this one, maybe i’ll post some stuff in the future 🤔

Warnings: mentions of murder, sexual abuse and slavery; angst, maybe some fluff.

Rating: Explicit (+18)

Tagging list: @novaursa @maegelletargaryen @mmkkzz

She swings her legs from the second floor of the courtyard as she braids her hair, her eyes observing the lanista and the veteran gladiators training. The sun casts warm light on their swift maneuvers, spotlighting the sweat glistening on their skin, and she thinks they glow like the heroes of the tales she was told when she was a child.

Lost in reverie, she imagines herself among them, wielding a sword with courage, though she knows the life of a gladiator is far from what she was taught. If the Romans would not have come to her lands, she would be a ranger, or a soldier, bow in hand, eyes observing with attention her surroundings, or even a healer, but instead of learning from Ravi she would have been apprentice to the tiny woman with grey hair and crooked spine of her memories whose name is now forgotten beneath the mossy oaks of her village.

“Where the new ones?” The thick accent of the Dacian old slave behind her almost startles her, taking her back to reality.

“Macrinus took them. Dominus says they were to fight in a private party for the Emperors’s favourite.”

“I hope one o’ them cuts the throat of those brats” mumbles the woman, taking a stool and sitting behind her.

“Kata!” Alana turns to face her fellow slave, a woman that could almost be her grandmother with fiery red hair tinted with grayish hairs and the darkest eyes she has ever seen.

“Shut up and let me do yer hair.”

It is not her tribe, those are not her lands, but a part of her feels that the gods have given her a small tribe in replacement, full with warriors to fight back the enemies, and companions to share the burden of captivity.

“Quintus looks worried.” Mumbles Alana, almost pouting, her arms hanging from the bannister as well.

“When does he not look worried, lass? If he does not train the men good enough the ludus loses coin, ‘nd the first to be punished is ‘im.”

“The ludus never loses coin.”

It is strange to have the place that empty. With their dominus by the private event with the newest men and Ravi to help and their domina enjoying the free time far from her husband, the place almost looks like a haven, people from half of the empire gathered in a peaceful moment that might never come again.

“It did” Kata scoffs, her fingers swiftly braiding her long mane as she speaks, never pulling her hair. “The last time you were just a pup, too li’l to know anything. A general fell in disgrace and was sent ‘ere, and he was the best I have seen in many time. Ravi met ‘im too, he was fond of ‘im. A good man.”

“What happened to him?”

“Dead. All the good ones end up dead.”

Alana clenches her jaw, thoughtful as she watches the horizon. She wonders if the same fate awaits to those she holds dear.

…

“Look at me. Look at me.”

The healer hisses as he takes his face with a hand, forcing him to look at his face. A quick glance is enough for the Indian to know that, at least, the strongest of the newcomers can return to the ludus.

“He savaged my people” the gladiator grits as his hands clench in tight fists, his knuckles turning white with fury. “He took everything from me.”

Despite the defiant answer in proper Latin to the emperors, it still amazes him to hear the gladiator speak other than Punic.

“Who did it?” He muses, forcing him to sit down before him.

“The general.”

Their gazes meet, and a pang of sympathy hits the healer. He knows too well how he feels, how it is to have everything taken from you only because somebody at the other side of the world fancies it.

How much it had hurt for him. The memory still lingers, like a scar that refuses to fade, but he has grown used to that dull pain deep down in his chest. It fuels him, makes him stronger, more determined to mend the broken and save what can be saved.

“Keep your mind clear, you hear me? Your priority must be to earn your liberty.” Hanno is spirited, it shows, but in that moment Ravi has other thoughts forming in his head “Forget the general, the emperors and all those rats around. You have to win your battles and get your freedom.”

“But how—?”

Ravi takes a deep breath, his own victory sometimes still feels too recent.

“Win. Make the people like you, make the other gladiators follow you. Prove your worth, and soon the chains that bind you will break. I lived it myself.”

“Why are you here then?”

A sad smile tugs from the corners of the healer’s lips, and he casts his gaze to the ground. “I had nowhere to go. My village was razed to the ground and my people are dead or captured and slaved at the other corner of the empire. I forged my own family here, and the dominus saw it is more cheap to have me here tending at you than to make somebody else come.”

Ravi glances at Hanno, a hint of vulnerability in his eyes. He has been at his side, he has been furious and violent, but he kept his mind straight. No chains, no walls could hold his spirit captive.

Hanno nods slowly, his resolve hardening like tempered steel.

“I saw good men dead because they were impulsive. Don’t make the same mistake.”

The distant echo of footsteps call the men’s attention, and Ravi is the one to stand up first, placing himself between Hanno and whoever approaches them. It could be the emperors, it could be their dominus, it could be one of the ladies witnessing the fight looking for a favour, it could be Nemesis herself finally claiming their souls.

“Should we call him our favourite this season, then?”

It is their dominus, visibly satisfied with the new acquisition. If he mourns the loss of the rest of the small group, his face does not show it. He approaches them like a vulture waiting for carrion, eyes gleaming with interest.

“Did anybody show any interest in Hanno?”

Ravi knows that for the man they are just faces, only his servants having name when it suits him.

“Apparently the general’s wife, and possibly a senator or two… The season is still young, don’t you think?”

Behind him, Hanno stays stiff, his eyes observing them, and it only takes a stretched palm for Ravi to make him think twice about engaging in any hasty confrontations.

“My advice is to rotate the men as last season, dominus. They all are strong, and whenever they expect the least, they will see Hanno fighting at his best, taking every bout with technique and strength. We all know he has it, and the commoners will adore seeing him in action.”

It hurts him to ignore the Numidian in such way in front of him, but he knows how things go by the tunnels under the amphitheatre, and the least he wants is to get him or himself hurt in the process.

The dominus chuckles softly, an unsettling sound that sends a shiver down Ravi's spine.

“Of course. You see it all, don’t you? Well then, let us make sure this season is as entertaining as ever. Send our favourite to the baths, and make the lass tend to him.” Ravi bows his head, concealing the discomfort beneath his calm demeanor as the dominus throws them a crooked smile “A gift. For his worth.”

A gift.

Ravi sighs when their owner is far enough from them, his breath mingling with the cool air. He turns to Hanno, seeing the silent questions etched on the man’s face like shadows.

…

A gift.

The last time somebody talked about her as a gift things had ended quite bad for her, with bruises and pain for days, and nightmares for months. But it is the curious stranger this time, not any brute with more muscle than common sense, and she thinks she should not be afraid of him, because he has let her tend to his wounds with unexpected gentleness.

Yet uneasiness flows her senses, almost making her flinch when she hears any noise, her eyes falling to the ground of the room, only the water from the pool providing a steady, soothing rhythm to calm her racing thoughts.

Would he be gentle or prefer to split her in half? Or maybe he wants her to do all the work? What if he prefers the company of men instead of women?

She is lost in her doubts and fears when she can hear footsteps approaching, soft against the stone floor. She closes her eyes for a moment, her instincts hitting hard, and she can spot two different people—no, it is three of them. Her heart races as the footsteps draw closer. The air grows tense, heavy with uncertainty, as she braces herself for their arrival.

But only one crosses the entrance.

“Alana…”

She raises her eyes only to meet his, the purest blue she has ever seen greeting her with a gentle warmth. It feels almost like a promise that perhaps things will be different this time.

“I heard you won. The dominus wants me to take care of you.”

Her hands, clasped at her front, twitch slightly. Her instinct is to pull them away, to melt into the shadows where she feels safe but, instead, she steadies her breathing, forcing herself to remain present.

“Ravi has tended to your wounds?” He nods, and his gaze softens. “Good. Now, you have to get into the water.” As she talks, she pushes herself to approach him, to help him get undressed. “I have soap and oils to help you get rid of the dirt.”

She bites her lower lip as her fingers work deftly to unlace his tunic. Her actions are clinical, but her eyes betray a flicker of hesitation. She wants to think that he is a good man, but she knows well that good men can turn into cruel shadows in an instant. Her heart warns her as much, a constant reminder of past betrayals, moments of despair that costed her a part of her willingness and her strength.

Still, she can't avoid the hope budding in the recesses of her heart.

“What happens?” He mumbles in a perfect Latin, making her stop for just a moment, her fingers pausing in their task, her brain trying to assimilate that she was right and he is more than a Numidian soldier subdued by the pet of the emperors.

“You… You can understand me?” She raises her eyes, wide open, to meet his again as a slow smile creeps onto his lips.

“Yes,” he replies quietly, a hint of warmth in his voice.

“But how—?”

“It is a long story.” He glances to the water with a weary face. “But something troubles you.”

She hesitates, her hands still over his garments, almost like wanting the clothes to keep his nudity to himself.

“I— I am your gift. From the dominus.” She mumbles, her voice barely above a whisper, her gaze still observing his face, expectant of what his reaction will be. “I—It means that you…”

“I know what it means” his rough hands upon hers stop her words. His touch is gentle, not at all like how she imagined it. “I will not force you, I swear” he reassures, his eyes seeking hers with sincerity. “I give you my word.”

She releases a breath she doesn’t realize she has been holding, a flood of relief washing over her as his thumbs trace soft circles upon the back of her hands, almost like wanting to soothe her worries. All she can do is to lower her head and mutter her thanks, a single and betraying tear rolling down her face. He notices the tear, and she flinches when he brushes it away with a finger, softly, as if afraid to break her. Her heart pounds, both from relief and the unusual tenderness he's shown.

“Come on, to the water.” She mumbles as she tilts her head to the pool, letting his clothing slip past her fingers and lay on the floor.

His expression softens, caught somewhere between curiosity and vulnerability, as he steps towards the shimmering surface. A silent groan escaping his lips as the warm water envelops his weary body, easing tension he didn’t realize he carried. She observes him as he sinks deeper into the pool, watching the water ripple around him.

It certainly is a relief for him to not have to bear with his burdens alone. He glances up at her, grateful for her company, and motions her to join him.

“Oh, no.”

“Why not?”

Her gaze flickers toward one of the corners of the room, where the dancing light of a candle casts shadows that dance upon the water.

“I am here to take care of you. Maybe some other day.”

She looks at the gladiator and she doesn’t see a man defined by blood and battle, but rather someone yearning for solace, desperately trying to find peace in a world that refuses him rest. Others are fueled by vicious rage and sorrow, and she thinks that he may be keeping his own pains deep down where no one can see them. She finds herself wishing she could offer him more than a moment of tranquility, something lasting.

Hanno sighs when he settles himself in the water, steam easing his muscles and breathing life into his weary spirit. She observes his features sculpted by the flickering light and she decides he is handsome despite the filth clinging to his body.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Do tell.”

“You were the only one who came speaking Latin. How—?”

He bites his inner cheek, thoughtful, and she approaches him meanwhile, kneeling behind him with soap, oils and cloth.

“I grew up in the port. My father was a merchant.” He turns to face her, slightly surprised to find her behind him, ready to start “Got an idea. Why don’t we play a game? For every question you want to ask me, I can ask one in return. What do you think?” A soft smile curves her lips as she dips the soap bar in the water, his eyes observing her hands, her swift and bony fingers moving with gentle precision.

“Fine by me.” She mumbles, and with care she puts one of her hands atop his head, softly making him face the front as her fingers stroke his hair with care.

“My turn then. How old are you?”

“Don’t really know. I came here before starting bleeding. I have always been at the ludus.” She dips the soap again in the water before starting to scrub it gently against his hair. “How is Numidia? Ravi only said it is past the sea.”

“Boiling hot” a soft giggle escapes his lips as he lets her do, and she smiles at the sound of it. “But you get used to it. Most of all rocks and desert if you go to the south. I lived near the sea, and you can find some more life there. What about your home?”

Her home. It sounds strange to her, because she had forced herself to adapt to a life she never wished for.

“Forests. Enormous green fields” she tries to focus on what she is doing so the memories hurt less. “You can hunt deer and rabbit, and if you are lucky even boar… I once almost shoot down a wolf, but I was small and my arrows were too little for the animal. There was a tree in my village that was up to the sky, and I liked to climb it and see the stars at night, but Mama always got angry and said I would twist a leg or break my head…” She finds herself clenching her jaw, trying her best to keep herself serene. “Dip your head, I need to take the soap from your hair.”

He does as she says and she allows herself a trembling sigh when he can’t hear her. Despite having taken her own situation and forced herself to adapt and see the bright side of it, sometimes she can’t help but feel a longing for the life she had been forced to leave behind.

To distract herself she buries her fingers in his hair again, and allows herself to pass them along his scalp, brushing it softly, only returning her hands to both sides of her lap as he sits up, wiping the excess water from his eyes. “Thank you,” he mutters, rubbing the back of his neck. “I never imagined a healer could offer comfort beyond just remedying the body.” He passes a hand along his hair, and a soft smile appears upon her face “How did you became a healer?”

“Well, healing comes in many forms,” she replies, allowing warmth to fill her voice. “I started to follow Ravi around the ludus, and he showed me. By the time they realized it was cheaper to have Ravi stay in the ludus, I was already helping him.”

There is a question lingering in the air, and neither of them wish to speak it out loud, because it only brings pain.

“I like your braid. It suits you.”

A smile lingers upon Alana’s lips. Maybe it is the first compliment she gets in many time. One of her hands go to her own hair, her fingertips brushing over the elaborated work of Kata.

She could swear she is blushing with Hanno’s words.

“Do you like it?” He hums in approval, leaning against the wall of the pool to let her do better, and Alana’s quick mind starts to imagine him doing what Ravi did, earning his freedom and being remembered fondly by it.

She realizes that when Hanno looks at her, something deep down stirs, like a distant echo of hope calling her heart to soften its guard.

“You were trembling before” Hanno takes one of her hands, studying it as if the answers lay in her palm, his fingertips tracing shapeless figures on the skin, almost trying to soothe her sorrow. “How many times—?”

She frowns, clenching her jaw. “It’s hard to say,” she admits, her voice barely above a whisper. “A few. Too many,” she adds, her eyes distant. Hanno nods, sensing the weight of what remains unspoken.

“I— I am sorry” he murmurs, guilt lacing his voice. Yet, there is an understanding in his eyes, a silent vow to share her burden. “If you want, I can help,” he offers, his grip on her hand tightening slightly, offering his strength.

“I don’t see how you can help.”

“They won’t touch you as long as I am around.” She lifts her gaze, studying him intently. There is a resolve in his eyes that she hadn’t noticed before, a fierce protectiveness she finds comforting. “I mean it,” he insists, meeting her gaze with unwavering determination.

[slayfics]

oh my GOD im absolutely enjoying ur muichiro oneshots and chapters. You really are a talented writer making my heart flutter everytime 🥺❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 and i thought it would be really adorable if u wrote a oneshot similar to the raining scenario where muichiro gets sick because he lets u train under the shade while he stands outside to watch out for any demons. how would the reader react to a sleepy and sick muichiro 😦😦

You look after a sick Muichiro.

You read the letter from Shinobu over three times just to make sure you got the instructions right before walking back to Muichiro’s room. Muichiro was laying down in his bed with his eyes closed. You were afraid to wake him but sensing your presence he opened his eyes slightly and looked over at you. 

“Miss Kocho has written back. She said that if your fever doesn’t break by tomorrow morning we should go to the Butterfly Mansion to have you looked after. She also gave me a few instructions to help until then.” 

“What was her advice?” He asked. 

“Oh right! I’ll be right back!” You said and hurried off. Shinobu had said to make sure Muichiro drank a lot of water and to place a damp washcloth on his forehead.

You quickly grabbed a washcloth and ran it under some water then rung it out to make sure it wasn’t too wet. Then you filled a glass of water and came back to his room. Muichiro had closed his eyes again. Seeing him this way was painful. If he hadn’t made it a big deal to stay out training you while the weather was bad he wouldn’t be this sick. Hearing you approaching he opened his eyes slightly again.  

“She said to put this on your forehead and to make sure you drank a lot of water.”  

“Very well.” Muichiro said grabbing the damp washcloth and placing it on his forehead but over his hair. You weren’t an expert at tending to any sicknesses, but you were pretty sure the washcloth was supposed to go directly on his forehead, not on top of his hair.  

“Umm... mind if I help you?” 

“Go ahead.” He said. You carefully picked up the washcloth then moved his hair off of his forehead then placed the washcloth back on. 

“Oh, that does feel better.” He said.  

“Make sure you drink all of this too when you can.” You said placing the water next to his bed. 

“Ok.” He said then closed his eyes again. You started to walk out of the room when you heard him rustle in bed. You turned around to see him staring at you. “Do you need something else?” You asked. 

“Where are you going?” 

“Back to my room, you need to rest.” 

“Yes, but you can stay.” He said. 

“Oh... Ok.” You said walking back into the room. Muichiro closed his eyes again and you weren't sure what to make of the situation. Did he just not want to be alone? You weren't sure what to do so you stood by the bed for a bit. 

“You don’t have to just stand there.” He said after a few moments passed. You looked around the room unsure of what he wanted you to do.

Muichiro’s room was painfully simple. Just a bed and a big window that looked over the always foggy mountain. Did he mean for you to sit on the bed then?

You awkwardly sat on the other end of the bed while Muichiro sat up and drank some water.  You watched him to see his reaction to you sitting on the bed, as you were still unsure if this is what he wanted you to do.

“It’s late you should rest too.” He said as he laid back down. 

“You... want me to rest here?” You asked him to clarify. Muichiro did not speak but nodded his head slightly and watched you carefully with big eyes. You had never seen him look so vulnerable before. Seeing him with the damp washcloth on his head and pale completion made you want to care for him as best as you could, and if that meant keeping him company while he didn’t feel well you didn’t mind. You slowly laid down next to him. Muichiro closed his eyes and seemed to be more at ease.  

“Goodnight” He finally said with his eyes still closed. 

“Goodnight Tokito.” You responded, as you watched his breathing slow and deepen as he fell asleep. 

Thank you so much for your support and kind words. I hope this is what you were looking for, or at the very least gives you a smile! I had fun writing it, thank you for the request~

[the-monkey-ruler]

um hi, since you are my favorite blog when it comes to erlang shen content, what are your thoughts on the new gods: yang jian movie? i think the movie was awesome, and the animation was so good holy shit, even my mom, who knows nothing of it, loves it so much lmao but i saw posts here and i could see it wasn't well received and since im not knowledgeable enough of erlang, i wanted to know your review on it if it's alright?

Oh well thank you! But I have to say I'm kinda surprised with how popular the movie is. But maybe that just how tumblr is, the movie isn't perfect certainly, but I think that when it comes to an emotionally driven narrative that it really packs a punch.

Without a doubt the movie has pacing issues as there are a lot of scene changes, it is hard to focus on a single moment when it feels like we are already going to another. And I know that the 'twist' villain wasn't anything too exciting and even a bit confusing considering it wasn't really explained by these giant fire birds and why/how they naturally destroy like only immortal caves (at least personally I didn't get it) but it didn't stop my enjoyment of the movie because that doesn't really matter.

What MATTERED was YANG JIAN HIMSELF! And I don't think we have gotten such a good version of the character since his Lotus Lantern version. He was still so intelligent, so dignified, so unserious as well being an eternal young man but being so old and tried being powerless and with heaven fallen. The Nezha Reborn series is a bit confusing itself as it has heaven 'fallen' but we still see people in heaven and on earth living but with limitations that we are not aware of or really understand what happened to cause this. It is almost a post-apocalyptic kind of movie in a stream punk setting.

Anyway I think that the movie still stands strong even if it does take away that Erlang Shen was the one to put his sister under the mountain himself. It doesn't follow the original story with Erlang doing this out of a sense of duty or following the law or being upset at his sister for following their mother's footsteps but rather takes a different angle highlighting Erlang's helplessness. Rather than Erlang being the cause of his sister's imprisonment, it is used as a parallel of Erlang's own mother's imprisonment and how as a child he was just as helpless to save his own mother, and this is repeated in his life again as he is powerless to help his own sister to the same fate.

I can see where there could be a lot more exploration of Erlang's complex character if he was the one to put Sanseng Mu into the mountain himself, and sure that could have been a great angle to have to show either his remorse and helping Chenxiang to free his mother to make it 'right' or even him fighting himself with what he always thought was right or wrong. But instead, this movie takes it that this is more of a curse that keeps HAPPENING to his family. That his own powerlessness in both cases as forces outside of his control target his own family again and again and how they are destined to be sacrificed for other needs. This actually takes on a bit of Investure of the Gods kind of philosophy as that book is VERY HEAVY on the motifs of being slaves to fate and all that.

Erlang resigned himself to being a slave of fate but we see as the story continues as he unlocks the mysteries of who is controlling him and his family. It really makes me think that this universe follows the Investiture of the Gods verse and how there is a 'new order' or something like that but the point is that Erlang learning how to fight the fate that his family and himself have been under. Especially with poor Shen Gongbao dying.... never made me feel bad for such a pain in the ass in his original story but showing why he trained Chanxiang. Shen Gongbao was someone that tried to defy fate (for shitty reasons sure) but he saw that in Chenxiang, someone that was trying to break the cycle of abuse that his family was forced under and where Shen Gongbao failed he hoped the next generation can succeed.

I think that the movie was tackling a lot of things in one movie but in the end, it had fantastic characters that carried the movie. My personal favorite part was Erlang's flashback to his childhood and watching his mother being taken (HE WAS JUST A CHILD) and how that is echoed in his sister's own sealing as well. How he was so HURT and still HURT from his mother's imprisonment and even after fighting so hard and becoming so strong he never was able to get her back. She was gone and all that hope that maybe he was stronger or better it didn't mean ANYTHING at the end when your loved one never comes back.

And how he even KNEW that his Sanseng Mu was already gone with Chanxiang and how he tried to warn him but he STILL HELPED because he knew that his nephew wasn't going to stop. He still helped because he thought and knew that it was better to face this issue head-on, to accept that grief that has been drowning him for centuries and at least be there for his nephew in a way no one was there for him.

I really love the Noir angle this movie had, that Erlang even without his traditional powers is so smart and observant. He is able to deduce what is really happening and refuses to back down when things are getting messy. I think it highlights his intelligence in this movie that we get to see outside being a genius tactician in battle!

Overall I can see where the movie's different angle does take away a plot point of exploring Erlang's internal struggle with locking away his sister and how that reflects his own mother being locked away. But I think that was sacrificed in order to focus on Erlang's fight against fate. Rather than fighting his internal forces, that he is the root of the problems, the movie focuses on the world and how fate is trying to him to this tragedy. And within this Investiture of the Gods-inspired world, I can see why the directors made this choice in how Erlang making this step into becoming someone that faces fate head-on fits better with the movie series' overall narrative with his 'order of the new gods'. I think that it still captures how Erlang fights with himself in trying to do what he thinks is right versus trying to follow what everyone is telling him to do. Whether he just blindly trusts those around him or that he looks for the truth himself and comes to his own conclusions no matter how painful they are.

He is someone who cares deeply for his family and while a little misguided he does want to do what he thinks is needed. He thought Chanxiang was safe with his former master, and sure maybe he could have checked on him but he thought that he was safe. And when he finds out that he wasn't in fact safe and even being framed for murder he tries to find out what is really happening for his sake. He has to deal with his own grief that still affects him but does so

[kcalsforhim]

𓏲.ೃ࿔❀˙˖ ｡ thursday 17 jan 2025

༄.°

today was one of the worstttttt days. i got up too late i overslept cause i couldn’t sleep at all the night before it was aweful.

at college i did some good work, i genuinely made cool stuff, at some point me and haku were trying to help out our classmate and she ended up getting super sensitive cause haku cause her some criticism on her work and maybe she couldn’t handle that ? it was kind of crazy… i thought i was in the wrong when she randomly kinda snapped at me but everyone in my group was angry for me LOL

me and haku walked to the station and then to a package drop off point where i picked up a package for myself, then we walked back. we made cool art plans and he even got an internship interview for the next day and i thought that was so awesome !!!!!

then we went to the train and i went home. i walked home and the pain of the day was so intense. when i got home, my dad greeted me by opening the door. i haven’t seen him since new year’s eve lol. he brought home a lot and i mean A LOt of trigger foods.

dinner

136g spaghetti — 214cal. ~300g spinach — 69cal. 1 eurocrem wafer — 143cal. 1 piece of eurocrem chocolate — 71cal. 2 sweet cake corners — 49cal.

546 cal total

this was PAINFUL to eat, idk what possessed me but i was in so much physical pain. my throat was closing in on me and hurting so bad and i could barely breathe eating this lmfao.. i spilled way too much salt on the spaghetti

at this point i was freaking out lol, i felt the same exact pain i felt when i was fasting for 60+ hours it was so god aweful and painful, unironically terrible. i told haku and eli i needed some more food which was painful. it hurt so bad i thought i needed medical attention LMFAO. even after 30+ mins my body was hurting so bad.

snack plate

variety of smoked meats — feta cheese burek — teramisu — 1 date — 1 apple

this hurt even more to eat but i told my mom i was shaking and feeling sickly and she cut the meats for me and got me burek and i got some more stuff out of the fridge, she also said i should eat some fruit too.

eating this was aweful but after i did finish this somehow i felt so much better and relieved. i feel like i ruined my entire weeks deficit… lol… and i cried a lot because i didn’t want to but i felt like i had hit some kind of hard limit.

afterwards i told myself i would try to fast ATLEAST the next day but, preferably to sunday. i didn’t purge today cause i felt so weakly and shaking. i deadass have a video of my hand shaking like crazy and i was crying so bad LOL. overal extremely embarrassing……..

after about 20 mins i felt like i could run a marathon, but i just stayed in bed. i did some homework and i turned it in after not being able to find where i should turn it in for deadass 10 mins and getting angry. at about 10pm i wanted to go to bed but i was on the phone with eli and i ended up going to bed a bit later… oh well

listened to this going to sleep, i love the track white space and this is a cute twist to it,,, im not as much a fan of how loud the keys are tho

𓏲.ೃ࿔❀˙˖ ｡ stats for today

streak : 11 days binge free (just because i ate food doesn’t mean i wanted it)

cals : stopped counting after dinner

steps : 13.4 k

i feel so fucking aweful about how my day ended, i had never been in such excruciating pain lmfao… like actually scary. i will try to fast it off to repair the damage, oh but i can’t promise that. im writing this and im already feeling tired again… ill try my best.

༄.°

[lightfeltmemories]

Kyojuro Rengoku: NSFW Alphabet Headcanons

note: i finally decided to give demon slayer a chance and my god, this man right here has got me wrapped around his finger i swear he's all i think about, i want to make as many headcanons as i can of his man (without burning out, of course), so if you have requests for him, please send them my way, i'm in dire need.

tags & warnings: reader is female/afab, usage of the words "cock" and "cunt,"

A - Aftercare

Kyojuro and Aftercare are a match made in heaven, he loves you dearly, so he's going to go above and beyond to make sure you're okay, he's always asking you questions on what you want, and helps you clean yourself off from both yours and his sweat, and afterwards, the two of you spend the night cuddling and falling asleep in one another's arms.

B - Body Part

His favorite body part on himself is his rough, calloused hands, with all the years of slaying demons and training like no tomorrow, he finds it quite aesthetically pleasing to see his hands grabbing on to your waist, ass, tits, whatever, while he's thrusting inside of you.

His favorite body part on you is your waist and thighs, he loves grabbing onto them as he laps away at your sensitive clit, spreading your legs apart and holding them in place, and as he pounds you from being, he grabs onto your waist and watches your ass smack against his pelvis.

C - Cum

He surprisingly cums a lot, and its a pain to clean, the taste is indescribable, not bad, but not the best thing in the world, he has a thing for cumming inside you, filling up your womb with his seed, but he also has a thing for facials, a territorial side of him opens deep within as he sees your face plastered with his cum, his cock twitches at the sight of you scooping up some of it and sticking it in your mouth.

He's also not against tasting his own cum, he'll kiss you after he came inside your mouth as the both of your tongues dance, swapping the liquid with each other.

D - Dirty Secret

Despite having quite the positive reputation, your first conversation and first look at him you wouldn't think he had some dirty things hiding deep in his core, but i stand firmly on the belief that Kyojuro is the epitome of "gentleman in the streets, but a freak in the sheets." And as long as what you want doesn't cause discomfort or harm to the both of you, he'll be on board.

He at some point wants to try anal, after having a conversation with Tengen at one point, the conversation turned dirty really quick, the two of them discuss about what women like in bed, Tengen has 3 wives, so he most likely knows what's up, and during the convo, the Sound Hashira had mentioned something about one of his wives liking anal, and he has been thinking about it ever since, obviously if you aren't into it, then there will be no mention of it ever again, but if you are, he'll take things slow since he has never done it before, and plus he doesn't want to hurt you or make you uncomfortable.

E - Experience

Little to none, the only form of experience he has ever learned is from Tengen or what you have taught him, i don't think he's ever seen fully naked woman in his entire life until he's met you, and once he's had an experience his life has been changed, i don't even think im exaggerating, either.

F - Favorite Position

He likes all the positions you do for their own individual reasons, missionary for the faces you make as his cock hits the spot that drives you crazy, doggy style for (like mentioned previously) the way your ass jiggles while he fucks you from behind, giving it a couple slaps and grabbing onto it tightly as he's close to his end.

G - Goofy

There are a few, for example, he can't help but chuckle when you queef, but i wouldn't say goofy, just lighthearted moments to ease the intimate atmosphere.

H - Hair

I feel like it would be weird for his hair to match his eyebrows, so i'd say they match the hairs on his head, no matter how long they grow, it will be blonde, no red tips in sight. Before he met you, he kept himself moderately groomed, he doesn't grow much hair down there for some odd reason, so, there wasn't much to work with.

When it comes to you, it doesn't matter if it's completely bald or an amazon rainforest, he'll part that sea if he has to.

I - Intimacy

The soft, slow, intimate moments makes up 90% of your sex life with him, the fast paced, kinkier moments are actually pretty rare, he wants to take his precious time with you and make sure you also finish.

J - Jack Off

He doesn't really get that urge often, especially when you came around, since he has you if he wants to blow off some steam, the concept of jacking off became near non-existent unless the two of you are mutually masturbating.

K - Kinks

Oh, he's got some, buckle up.

I love the idea of Kyojuro having a breeding kink, i stand ten toes down behind it, he'll almost always cum inside of you, and when he's spooning you, he's rubbing his palm on your stomach, hoping a baby grows, despite his schedule as a Hashira, he's always wanted at least a couple children.

He's got a praise kink, not only does he love being told how good he's making you feel, but he's pretty vocal about how good you make him feel as well, going on about how tight your pussy is, squeezing around his cock like you never want him to pull out, how beautiful you look when your eyes are lidded with an O shaped mouth, how your moans sound like music to his ears, how much he loves you, how he-.

And last but not least, he's a switch, and has a thing for you domming him, while he may not go as far as pegging, he'll definitely let you take control, he likes it when you're particularly rough with him, wrapping your hands around his neck as you bounce on his cock, not letting him cum, overstimulating him, and making countless love bites on him as a way to claim your territory.

L - Location

When it comes to public sex, he doesn't want to do it in a place where people are at risk of catching you just yet (the idea makes the blood rush down and make his cock harden, i could've added this to the kink category but i don't think it's something he's particularly fond of over the others i've mentioned), he'll fuck you outside if you ask for it, maybe in a secluded, secretive area that only you two know of.

M - Motivation

When he finally started courting you, he started to become more comfortable with his sexuality, he started finding himself rock solid at simple things, he's not abysmally horny, but he's not a prude, either, when the two of you are cuddling, any simple thing that brushes against his groin makes it twitch, especially your ass as it presses against it, the friction of the clothes separating the two of you making pre-cum leak through his underwear, wearing something that shows a little too much cleavage, with a high risk of one of your breasts spilling out of your top.

N - No

I don't see him as the type to degrade you, the words "bitch, slut, whore" or any of the sort will never come out of his mouth when it comes to you, you are his world, his queen, his flame, any and all positive names he can think of will replace them.

He's not into being called "daddy," putting his issues with his father aside, he just think the concept is a bit odd.

He also won't be too fond of things such as hard bdsm, scat, pee, cnc, ddlg, etc.

O - Oral

He greatly prefers giving over receiving (even though he definitely loves himself a blowjob), this man knows how to eat pussy, you'd think he'd practiced before he came to you, he never fails to give you an earth shattering orgasm after teasingly stroking your clit with the tip of his tongue, and curling his fingers inside your wet, drooling cunt.

When it comes to receiving, he'll subconsciously find his hand at the back of your head, tangling his fingers in your hair as his cock hits the back of your throat, if it weren't for his concentration breathing keeping him from cumming in under a minute most blowjobs would've been lackluster.

P - Pace

He'll start off with slow strokes, pumping in and out inside of you, but for the majority, he'll be at a normal pace, he's not rough with you unless that's something you're into, but once he finds himself close to his orgasm, he'll grow faster.

Q - Quickie

Kyojuro doesn't see the point in a quickie, the moment is meant to be intimate and sensual, not quick.

R - Risk

He loves a good risk, switching it up and trying something new, which is what keeps the sex lively and never boring.

S - Stamina

Stamina of a god, he'll go as many rounds as you like, lasting the whole night if you want.

T - Toys

He's pretty open to toys, during missionary, he'll use a vibrator to stimulate your clit as he pumps inside you, it makes you spill out more of those lovely juices. when it comes to toys on him, if the two of you are feeling rather lazy, he doesn't mind you pulling out a fleshlight and pumping his cock, but he'll admit, the real thing is better.

U - Unfair

Oh he loves teasing you, if you're being a little bratty, while he sucks on your clit, he'll pull away from it just when you're about to cum, and if you manage to stimulate yourself, prepare for a punishment; having you watch him stroke himself as your pussy leaks on the bedsheets, whining about how he wants him inside of you, and of course he spoils you rotten and fucks you silly in the end.

V - Volume

He's vocal, he wants you to know how he feels too, so he'll moan softly in your ear, or groan as he pounds himself into you, you'll never hear the end of his constant praise.

W - Wild Card

His balls are sensitive, while you're giving him a blowjob, and you take his balls into your mouth and swish them around, you'll feel warm liquid fall from your hair down to your face in 10 seconds max.

X - Ray

I stand behind the big dick Kyojuro agenda, he's over 6 inches and under 8, and is girthy as fuck, his balls are large and hung, he's packing a weapon not only on his hip but also between his pants that only you're allowed to touch.

Y - Yearning

Surprisingly after all this, it still remains pretty low, not nonexistent but the two of you don't have sex too often, maybe twice every week, sex is not the most important thing of his relationship and values you over your body.

Z - Zzz

You'll always end up falling asleep before he does, but he does sometimes feel content enough to pull you close as he himself drifts away in his own dreams (haha funny train arc reference)

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

hi! you've been posting about using corsets to manage dysautonomic symptoms lately, and i was wondering if you had any insight into the action mechanisms behind how that helps/advice for what types of corsets to look for and what sensations to be aiming for in your body when using them as a mitigation?

i have a bunch of dysautonomia/potential POTS symptoms (episodes of racing heartrate and lightheadedness, usually helped somewhat by keeping my feet elevated and often tied to barometric pressure changes or doing A Lot Of Stairs Daily for extended periods, really poor temperature regulation and inability to function when im overheated, constantly freezing extremities, coathanger pain and extreme constant muscle tension in my neck/shoulders, an innate need to be constantly guzzling water, the list goes on and on), and ive been doing some really basic research into corsetry for fashion silhouette reasons lately anyway. if i could combine the fashion items i'm eyeing up anyway with a functional disability aid, that would be... some of the most awesome shit i've ever encountered? lol.

(no obligation to answer, of course, i don't expect you to like, be willing to give something adjacent to medical advice to an internet stranger, but if you want to ramble at length about this topic, i'd be greatly helped by the information! either way, sending solidarity your way and i hope the Horrors retreat again for a time soon.)

Oh gosh, let me be very clear. I DO NOT RECOMMEND CORSETRY FOR DYSAUTONOMIA

What is MEDICALLY recommended for many dysautonomia patients, including POTSies like my cousin, or OH long haulers like me is COMPRESSION GARMENTS. Things like compression socks, gloves, joint braces, etc. The compression makes it harder for blood too pool downwards with gravity in your extremeties, which can also reduce the frequency of fainting spells for those of us with accompanying syncope. There are some GREAT ones available at most department stores for pretty cheap. Walmart fucking sucks, but they carry affordable copper lined compression gloves that i have been using with regularity for about 5 years now to manage blood-pooling/swelling and joint pain.

The additional problem I have (and critically the additional TRAINING that I have) is that on top of my condition meaning I'm unable to stay upright for extended periods without swooning, I have hypovolemia. There is just....sort of less blood in me???? Volume-wise at least. So when it pools, it leaves a much more oxygen deprived brain behind than it even would have without that. What's the medical intervention for this come to find out? Compression garments again!

Well, I've been making and wearing corsets since I was 12 so that's AWFULLY convenient lmao since buying one would mean either convincing a doctor to prescribe me a medical corset (my doctor doesn't like doing stuff like this due to my tendency for severe deconditioning) or saving up a few hundred dollars for someone who can construct an appropriately tailored daily-use corset.

Thank fuck I can just make one instead lol.

That said, I am actually planning to make the project into a visual process here on tumblr (maybe ravelry too) because I'm strongly on the side of knowledge being shared. I doubt there will be many who could make use of my exact plans, but maybe seeing how the process is built helps them anyway!

Here are my primary recommendations for using corsetry as compression garmentry in the meantime:

Due to the severity of my symptoms, and the limited nature of my current corsetry options, I have been intermittently "tight-lacing¹" throughout the day to retain cognitive function. For the love of fucking god, do not do this to yourself. Ensure that whatever corsetry you may purchase is able to be comfortably worn as compression garmentry with about a 1inch gap between the lacing panels rather than allowing the corset to be fully tight-laced shut.

Functional corsetry is largely intended to redistribute the weight of heavy layered outer clothing, which means it will have gussets for your hips to ensure they are not overly compressed. Lingerie corstry rarely does this, often ending at the wearing waist instead to avoid over-constriction of the hips. Whichever route you take is fine, and likely determined by what compression you may or may not need around your low back, but make sure that whatever design you choose allows for full hip movement/rotation

Compression corsetry can also double as a pretty fabulous frame for binding breast tissue or packing a fuller bra cup look into the chest, but if you do this INSIDE the corset rather than ADDED TO THE OUTSIDE and sealed internally into the corset by the outer fabric, it may change the compression function of the garment, so you will want to work with someone knowledgeable about which placements may work best for you.

You will need to learn how to breathe differently in a corset. I recommend looking into the breathing and vocal exercises that opera simgers use to train, as often they must be able to perform at high lung capacities in similarly structured garments. This will have the double effect of giving you additional resilience OUT of the corsets to passing out if you have syncope symptoms. When you know more about intentional breathwork, it becomes easier to alter your breath throughout the day to maintain cognitive functioning and balance/consciousness.

If you're going to use ANY compression garments for an orthostatic dysautonomia condition, I recommend doing a few things: buy a couple of the thing you're using, and then SEVERAL UNDER LININGS. This allows you to wear the outer compression garment daily for much longer before needing to trade out to your spare and wash the first. Just replace the liners each day. Also, keep your liners and compression garments in a small container by your bed with a full water bottle and some kind of portable electrolyte [I have a metal water bottle with a water filter pod in it so I can refill it at most water sources, and a small tupperware of a sodium and sodium bicarbonate 50/50blend in a little folding storage cube by my bed]. When you first wake up, your body is gonna really hate trying to re-regulate, and you're more likely to have rapid onset (as opposed to daily cumulative) symptoms of the condition. So before you stand up in bed, pop some electrolytes, drink at least 8oz of water, and strap into your compression garments before you actually stand up. This makes it easier for your body to move through regulation without you passing out suddenly for anyone who has fall risk flags like syncope. Lastly, keep a stimulent around for emergency blood pressure drops or days when you can't seem to regulate. Caffeine and prescription stimulents like Ritalin or Adderall are common (I get Ritalin already for ADHD, and it has substantially lowered my rate of falls), but there are other options out in the world too. Just. Don't fuck around with stimulents casually. They can be really critical for dysautonomia if you're dealing with a lot of it, because they're CNS-actors and tend to be regulating for us, but stimulents are, nonetheless, prone to some nasty side effects (known more than a few people who ended up with severe malnutrition issues or psychotic/manic episodes being induced and while those things are obviously things that can happen, and don't necessarily mean you should or should rule a support out, knowing your specific areas of risk when using a stimulent medication can be really important. If you need stimulents regularly to raise your BP and aren't already taking it for another reason, I'd recommend exploring BP raising meds for daily use with your doctor instead so you can save any stimulent use for when it's most urgent without having already accumulated risk factors.

I really wish I had more for you, but unfortunately treating and managing orthostatic conditions has been a nightmare for all of the 30yrs I've been diagnosed with one. It's getting better for sure, but it's still rough out there for us.

Ultimately, here's what I'll say: if you like corsets aesthetically, take the time to get yourself a really well made, tailored to you corset, and let the tailor know that you're looking for something that may be daily use. They'll balance out some of the more formal and rigid boning with enough flexibility that you should be safe wearing the corsets for up to 4-8hrs consequetively. And while I don't recommend jumping into the long haul right off, if you wear it for an hour and it's comfortable and you can think a little more clearly and you're moving faster than you're used to without toppling, maybe try it again for two hours next time. Never keep it on for longer than is comfortable, and let your body tell you what comfortable is going to look like. With time, as you get used to wearing it, it'll be easier to mark places you'd like more or less compression for future versions. As with any compression garment, make sure you have a comfortable underlining tho, or you'll have some hard-to explain marks on your skin after a few days.

[theneighborhoodwatch]

002 - Popstar, Franklydear and whatever we call what Wally and Home have going on

(send me a character/ship to hear my thoughts)

i've gotten Multiple asks about all of these pairings, so let's not waste anymore time. under the cut bc unsurprisingly this got Long.

POPSTAR

when or if I started shipping it: i think it first Really started with this pokemon AU post clown made talking about what he thought they'd be up to in that universe... the language he uses in that post really caught my eye, and it just kinda snowballed from there, especially as canon started picking up and we saw more of them interacting 1-on-1.

my thoughts: i feel like we don't really get a lot of yuri in this specific Type of horror (i.e. cute thing is secretly fucked up), at least not in the west. i think that's a crying shame, but i believe popstar has the potential to truly open the floodgates. unless i'm forgetting herstory - idk i feel like there's definitely some rpgmaker game out there that'll prove me wrong but you know what i mean. more mascot horror yuri NOW.

What makes me happy about them: i think it's super cute that they both kinda geek out whenever one of them asks the other for help, like they're being asked by this big huge celebrity and not, like. their literal next door neighbor lol. sally in particular - as bullheaded as she is, her insistence on trying to put poppy in the spotlight more often isn't because she thinks poppy is untalented and needs to train up, but because she genuinely thinks poppy is Just That Stunning And Talented And Beautiful, and doesn't want that to go to waste. nepotism has never looked so romantic <3

What makes me sad about them: sally seems to enlist poppy's help Way more than poppy does sally's, and while sally clearly Wants to take poppy seriously, she has a hard time not immediately brushing off other's concerns in general because She's An Auteur, Dammit, She Knows What She's Talking About. it does make me very worried for poppy! i think things between them are gonna get Way worse before they get better lol. not dysfunctional enough to be toxic yuri but certainly painful enough that it will Get Me when it happens.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: THAT NOBODY WRITES IT

Things I look for in fanfic: MORE OF IT

My kinks: again, serious in-depth answers go on the nsfw blog only. i will say i think they're definitely those people who keep trying to set up roleplay scenes only to get distracted by trying to figure out the technical aspects and/or getting so in-character that they forgot what the end goal was.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: poppy partridge if you read this im free on Thursday night and would like to hang out. Please respond to this and then hang out with me on Thursday night when I’m free.

My happily ever after for them: after a series of trials and tribulations, complete with at least one breakup arc, the two of them reconcile in an appropriately dramatic apology-that-looks-suspiciously-like-a-marriage-proposal scene. i don't really know what happens after that. i was going to say they go on to become lesbian statler and waldorf, but i think they would both be too invested in trying to give actual constructive criticism, so maybe they just mst3k it instead.

FRANKLYDEAR

when or if I started shipping it: i dunno! i don't remember ever being opposed to the ship, but there was definitely a period of time where my approach to it was more "hmmm i wonder what this ship being canon means for welcome home's Themes" and less "ough fuck they make me so sick," as opposed to the current day where it's a pretty even mix of both.

my thoughts: god what haven't i said about them. i think i peaked with this post. i don't think anything i say can summarize the appeal of their relationship to me more succinctly than that.

What makes me happy about them: when it comes to eddie, frank is like. frank is so fucking funny bc he seems to be under the impression that he's being subtle. yeah get mad whenever anyone who isn't you makes fun of that beautiful big breasted mailman to the point where you'll even defend his honor in the merch advertisements and also when you Do make fun of him be sure to be gentler than you would be with almost anyone else but also don't let up entirely bc then you won't get to see him be adorably flustered and also enforce a surname-only basis with him so people don't think you're getting too chummy but ALSO drop the surname-only basis whenever he seems genuinely upset to let him know that you're worried about him and want to help. and also do this in front of everyone at a holiday party. nobody will suspect a thing. and the best part is that IT WORKS ON EDDIE. EDDIE ALSO THINKS FRANK IS COOL AND TRUSTWORTHY AND RELIABLE ENOUGH THAT HE AUDIBLY/VISIBLY RELAXES WHENEVER FRANK ENTERS A SCENE.

What makes me sad about them: EDDIE'S ASS IS NOT PREPARED FOR THE DAY THAT IT'LL BE FRANK IN THE PROVERBIAL LOVESEAT OF TORMENT. arguably neither is frank but like given how eddie saw frank at the end of the homewarming special? it's going to FUCK him up.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: when i click on the eddie dear/frank frankly tag. and i filter out all mentions of wally darling. i should not still be seeing wally darling. do u understand. get that little yellow cunt OUT of here!!!!!!!

Things I look for in fanfic: pre-established relationship hurt/comfort or angst. i realize i may be alone in my interpretation of franklydear as not being Together together yet, but i am stubborn.

My kinks: i wonder how many times i can say "ask for my nsfw blog" without it getting old.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: GOOD QUESTION. i don't think either of them would particularly struggle to find a partner if they didn't end up with each other, but i also can't see either of them being attracted to any of their other neighbors.

My happily ever after for them: these two images specifically. in general they should get to be huge cornballs for at least a little while should they successfully endure The Horrors.

HOME AND WALLY. HOMEWALLY? WALLYHOME? WHO KNOWS.

when or if I started shipping it: an old friend of mine made a joke about it once in 2022, waaaay before there was any like, huge fandom presence outside of a few scant discord servers. i thought about it too hard and now i'm here.

my thoughts: romantically or not, THEY ARE SOOOOO DOOMED, DUDE. THEY ARE SO FUCKING DOOMED. and i don't mean, like, "yeah they have some stuff that makes their current relationship less than ideal but i'm sure they can work things out ^-^" no i mean DOOMED. there's only one way this relationship can end and it is in BLOOD and TEARS. and i will be there with a tissue box and a big ol' bucket of popcorn. i've written about them so much on this blog already but by god i will write more.

What makes me happy about them: the obsessive aspect to their relationship, like. it feels very mutual. it would be so easy to make home coldly imposing 24/7 and/or just have them be taking advantage of wally's love for them, but. no. they seem just as attached to their inhabitant as he is to them, for better or worse. i get a lot more mileage out of a relationship where both parties Love each other and desperately want to be all-encompassing for one another in All aspects of relationships, but live in a reality where that simply cannot be, and their relationship is wildly unhealthy as a result. home is a monument to a past that either never existed or cannot be revived without Severe consequences. but wally doesn't care about that. all wally cares about is that he is his home. see also: this post.

What makes me sad about them: [copypastes the entire above paragraph]

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: most wally/home fic is either pure crackfic or fic in which home gets hit hard with the ron the death eater treatment. like jesus, he's already pretty morally ambiguous in canon by just Standing There, you don't need to make him an actual rapist to establish that his and wally's relationship isn't exactly ideal.

Things I look for in fanfic: i don't look for it because i've pretty much given up on it being there at all, but i hope more folks write some actual character study-adjacent stuff about them some day!

My kinks: i do have actual answers to this but no way am i stating them here. again, i have a separate blog for that.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE.

My happily ever after for them: you know that's not gonna happen.

[m00nie-m00]

Oh Sh!t

modern au!Scaramouche x gn! reader

🌷 Sypnosis - you fall in love with your best friends worst enemy

Warnings: cursing, train creeps, adult jokes, murderous intentions, time jumps

💌 this gonna be a three part story! (Maybe more idk)

1 . 2 . 3

"He is so infuriating! I make ONE mistake and he reprimands me for it like hello?? It isn't a life threatening mistake either its like getting mad at someone for spelling a word wrong with a PENCIL" your best friend, Lumine ranted as you both prepared dinner.

"Calm down you might think your finger is a carrot and chop it" you chuckled as you prepared the stove.

"I'd like to think his fingers are carrots and chop it" she grumbled back.

You laughed at her comment and shook your head, "wow my sweetheart lumine what has gotten into you? This boy must be one pain in the ass if you of all people are out for his blood" you joked, looking back at her. She didn't seem as humorous as you at the moment.

"I know! He's just that bad! Me, im the most helpful girl in the world- and that's not exaggerating," she paused to proudly smirk. "but he oh my god the only thing im gonna help him with is burying himself 6 feet underground" she gritted her teeth, slamming the knife harder into the chopping board.

You nervously chuckled, moving towards Lumine and placing your hand on top of hers. Stopping the knife in place.

"Lumine I think i'll do the chopping"

"Okay, I'll start cooking then."

"No... i think you need to sit this one down, safety reasons"

-- <3 --

You boarded the train on the way home, unfortunately, your classes ended at the same time rush hour began. The train was packed with people, and you had to stand in the very middle of the crowd while holding on to the hanging strap.

You clutched your bag tightly to your side to avoid getting robbed, keeping a close eye on your belongings. Train rides were rarely enjoyable at this hour, and sometimes you'd wait for a less crowded train to come by so you wouldn't have to be so cautious of everything. Today though you had to get home as soon as possible, so you unfortunately didn't have a choice.

You felt a hand brush the side of your thigh, instantly freezing up you looked at the direction you felt it. There were a few people stood beside you so you couldn't pinpoint who the hand belonged to.

It could've been an accident, you thought, taking a deep breath to try and relax.

But then it happened again. This time the hand stayed by the side of your thigh a little longer. You weren't gonna take any chances so you quickly moved away, harshly bumping backs with someone as you did so.

"oh shit! i'm so sorry" you apologized, turning around to face the person you bumped into. He looked like a boy your age, wearing a stylish black outfit. He had bluish-purple hair that was styled in an interesting yet suiting haircut choice, and he had deep violet eyes that you would find beautiful if he wasn't glaring at you with them at that moment.

"there was a creep at my last spot i had to move away-" you rambled, fiddling with your fingers nervously. You furrowed your brows when he looked away from you and out the window he was stood beside.

ok well that's that I guess, you shrugged. Turning to face away when he said something that stopped you.

"hold on to the hanging strap the next stop is coming" he flatly stated, moving his hand to the side to provide space for yours.

"no it's okay-!" you said, knowing that if you held on to the strap your hands would brush. heh brushing hands with a hot guy your age doesn't sound that bad.

"I said hold on to it." he grabbed your wrist and raised your arm so your hand can grab the strap. As soon as you wrapped your fingers around it his hand let you go before instantly grabbing on to your shoulder as the train made an abrupt stop.

You yelped as your body jerked forward slightly, without his hand on your shoulder you would've crashed into him.

"you didn't give yourself time to prepare for the stop. how often do you ride a train?" he asked judgingly, pulling his hand away from your shoulder and shoving it into his pocket.

"look a lot has happened in this train in the spam of 3 minutes okay" You huffed, pressing your lips together as he laughed.

"too much for your little brain to handle?" he said, tilting his head to the side. What kind of comment was that?

You furrowed your brows, an unamused look on your face. "what's your name?" you asked. "why should i tell you?" he answered. "damn that's a stupid name" you replied sarcastically. "well, what's your name then?" he mockingly said. "better than yours" "that name is even stupider"

-- <3 --

"you met a cute guy on a train, had an actual interaction with him, physical touch too and you didn't give him your number, your actual name or like anything?!" Lumine exclaimed, shaking your shoulders aggressively as the two of you sat on your bed.

"well he didn't give me his actual name either!" you defended, "... which i guess isn't a good thing either UGH" you collapsed backwards, looking up at the ceiling. "There goes my chance in an epic collage love story"

Lumine grabbed your hands and pulled you up, you slouched limply and stared at her as she grinned. "your taking that train same time every time you go home"

"what?! but i hate rush hourrrr" you groaned, letting your back fall backwards only to be stopped by Lumine who pulled you back in place.

"okay but from what you shared it seems he's used to using the train sooo, who knows you might bump into him" she teased, giggling excitingly. Who knows what fictional love stories were brewing in her head.

You rolled your eyes, though the thought of it actually working lingered at the back of your mind. On the other hand you knew that if you wished for something to happen it never really does. So in that logic, you are never going to see him ever again.

"it's never gonna happen lumine I'm just gonna put myself in unnecessary danger" you mumbled, sighing defeatedly.

Lumine pouted before letting go of your hands and getting off your bed. "stop believing" she said as she exited your bedroom door.

your head jerked upward and your brows furrowed, like a deer caught in headlights. "what?!" you shouted at her, hoping she'd hear.

"STOP BELIEVING"

-- <3 --

You couldn't stop believing.

For the past week you've been riding the train home at that horrendous time just to try and bump into the boy again. you would look around and delusionally think some random guy with the same figure as him is him, like an idiot.

You got off the train but instead of taking the rout home you stopped by a cat cafe that newly opened. you liked cats, cats make you feel better. Drinking a nice warm drink while petting a cat sounds nice.

You entered the cafe and was greeted with a warm but colorful atmosphere and lots and lots of cat, or paw shaped decorations.

You order yourself a drink and a slice of blueberry cheesecake, sitting down on one of the tables closest to where all the cats were.

a black cat approached you meowing as she brushed herself against your leg. "hi there lovely" you smiled, bending down to pet the cat. The cat nuzzled into your touch and your smile grew even wider. Cats made your insides feel fuzzy.

You picked up the cat and placed it on your lap, stroking its fur as your other hand took a look at the tag on her collar. "it's nice to meet you berry" you cooed, scratching the back of her ear.

After a few minutes of petting berry and a few more cats while also trying to eat some cake the bell by the door chimed and you looked up to see who had entered.

beautiful deep violet eyes.

[toaster-hair]

There’s a Human in the Neighborhood! (chapter 5)

(important authors note: Hi nyall :3! Sorry i havent written in so long, ive been more hyperfixated on other things like across the spiderverse and lolita fashion, and i’ve also been working on other projects. I have a skullgirls au tumblr blog, my original comic raw!fruit, im redrawing the welcome homes cast’s portraits with my own headcanons added, as well as general oc content. But with welcome homes new update, it motivated me to write again. I feel as though when welcome home is finally finished up, ill rewrite this entire fic to make much more sense. Anyways, heres a content warning. As said before, this fic focuses on how gross human anatomy can confuse wholesome puppets. Its a bit hard to write about gross anatomy stuff without veering into nsfw territory, so suggestions would be appreciated. But this chapter in particular is about periods! The fic is written about a gender neutral AFAB reader, so if youre amab or if periods are just off the table for you, feel free to skip!)

A painful stab at your stomach woke you up from your slumber. “Ough..” your sudden movement spooked your cat. You held your torso in pain, feeling a sharpness in your pants. It was still dark, with the only light being the sun coming through your blinds. You stood up, making your way to the bathroom and….

Blood. Lots and lots of blood stained your undergarments. That explained the sudden pain you were feeling, it was just that time of the month! You went back to your bedroom to make sure you didn’t bleed the bed, grabbed some clean clothes, and turned the shower on. You also grabbed some pads out of the cabinet under the sink. You brought them from your old house but you should probably buy some more later.

You stepped into your shower and let the warm water soak your body head to toe, flourishing yourself with all kinds of soap. Once you were finally cleaned up, you stepped out and dried yourself. You put on your clean clothes, grabbed some pain killers, and went back to bed.

-

You woke up once again a few hours later. You got up, did your morning routine, had breakfast, fed your cat, and picked up the phone. You decided you would call in sick because of the pain and nausea. God, why does the first day have to be the most painful? You dialed the number for FishEgg Boba and waited for an answer.

“Helloo? This is FishEgg Bobaaa. How may I help youuu?” You heard Casper answer the phone.

“Hey Casper, It’s Y/N. Uhh.. I know it’s only my second day but I’m calling in sick. I’ve got… cramps real bad. I don’t wanna move that much. Is that okay?” 

“Oooh. Sure that’s fiiine. Just make sure to come in tomorroww. See you thenn. Hope you feel better sooon.” And with that, he ended the call. You felt kind of bad. It was only your second day, and you were taking a break already. You were probably missing out on some training too! But at the same time, everyone made it seem like yesterday you were working too hard when you weren’t even on your period! You can’t imagine what it’ll be like to work like that while on your period. 

You then remembered your plan to get more pads. You were good for now, but it was always a good idea to stock up. You put on some outdoor clothes consisting of some basic gym sweats and a baggy jacket. You gave your kitty a goodbye kiss on the forehead and headed out the door. Gee, this was the second time in a row that you went to Howdy’s. 

Wait… Oh yeah they’re puppets. I forgot. I mean you forgot that they were puppets. Of course they won’t have pads. You went back inside and grabbed some money, looks like you were heading out of town after all. As you headed back out again, you spotted Wally walking out of his house as well. You walked over to him, sense you promised you would chat in the morning last night.

“Hey Wally! You wanted to talk more this morning, right?” you stared down at him. 

“Oh! Yes! I wanted to know about how it went. Ah, but shouldn’t you be at work right now?” he asked.

“Oh, uh.. Yeah, the thing is that I’m uh, not feeling very well. So I’m taking the day off. I’m going back tomorrow though.”

“Ah, I see. You aren’t sick again, are you? Do you want me to go get Poppy?” He held at your knees like a dog jumping on its owner. 

“No, no. Not sick, it's just.. I may gross you out at the explanation?” You gestured with your hands “Is that okay?” You asked. He stared at you with a blank expression but nodded his head.

“Okay so basically uh.. When a human with a womb starts puberty.. Uh, and a womb is used for baby making purposes by the by, their womb starts to shed for a couple of days straight each month. That’s because the womb wants to make a baby but doesn’t have the ingredients to make one, causing the womb to pump out blood. This can cause pain, nausea, all that nasty stuff. That’s just a basic explanation, anyways.” He kind of just. Stared at you with half lidded eyes the entire time. “Uh, I don’t need to explain what blood is right?”

“Oh no, we have that too.”

…

What. 

“W-wait, if you’re bleeding.. Then.. did you just start puberty??” There was this look of anxiety on his face, which felt so odd and out of character.

“No, no, you still bleed even after puberty. Well, that is until you hit your 60’s or something. It’s not gonna go away for a while.. Haha, if I was still that young, I wouldn’t even be here!” You laughed at him a bit. He let out a sigh of relief. 

“Sorry.. I don’t know much about how human bodies work…” He looked away out of embarrassment.

“Oh, I can show you.” You reassured him. “Ah- What??” He stared at you slightly horrified, slightly considering your offer.

“Yeah dude, there’s a ton of books about human anatomy. Going from the bone to the skin. I can order you one online! If you want, of course.” You pulled out your phone and showed him various different anatomy books.

“Oh… No thanks, I'm fine.” He turned down your offer in a slightly disappointed tone.

“That’s fine. I need to go out of town for a bit to go get something, see you later!” You waved goodbye as you started to walk to the train station. You then suddenly felt a sharp pain in your stomach, but you kept on walking.

You couldn’t see him, but you knew he was waving goodbye right back at you.

(A/N: i wrote this in one night i hope you enjoy!! Ill try to include sally and julie in the next chapter :3333)

[barbietoiles]

Big ramble about baghera and christians performance and also dance technicalities because i need you to appreciate them RIGHT NOW

Bagheras expressions her expressions oh my god shes so good do you know how HARD it is to be expressive like that??? its like dancing twice!! Every instructor ever will tell you expressions are 50% of the performance shes nailing it!!!!! Christians face is unchanged and hes a professional dancer which is valid but also i find it a little funny. Focus 100

The way baghera and christian trust each other! Pair dancing is a two way street always and constantly - even if the "picked up" party seems to be putting in less effort than the "one who picks up" party, that is FAR from the truth. You have to essentially make both your body masses one, knowing where to put your limbs and how far to push your weight to find both your balance. Another detail, from experience - it can be really scary to have your partner touch parts of you that are necessary to be touched for the technicalities. It took me 30 long and painful minutes doing one move over and over to let my partner hold my waist in the proper spot to pick me up. + The spacial and body awareness (of your own and also your parthers body) you need to have to not accidentally hurt your partner is. Insane. They are doing so well, they mustve trained insanely hard!!

Bagheras balance is way better this performance because of the flat shoes and im so glad about it!! the first outfit was stunning, but the heels made her steps seem unsure. Again gotta say expressions are 50% of the performance - if youre not a nerd like me you wouldnt even notice because the rest of her face and body acting are IMMACULATE

Baghera has solid body acting as well. Her forms arent as well defined and movements a little slouchy at times but, again, you wouldnt fucking know because shes so smooth with it. (also if anyone knows, please let me know if baghera has done dancing in the past! even like a school club or something, i am insane about dancers ok <3)

Christian! His forms! Immaculate! I want to use him to point out key points that make an excellent dancer: a) he is light on his feet, almost looks like hes floating. b) pointing his toes for grace points. c) Active heels (lifted off the ground) for better body control and also grace points. d) Swan arms. Ballet arms. Rounded elbows. Whatever you wanna call em. e) Body control. Every muscle is active every move calculated and backed up by experience. Hot Hot Hot

Using your eyes is important (looking in directions lol), it helps railroad the audiences attention to key elements, set the mood and tell a story. Very needed tool in pair dancing to convince the audience of the dancers relationship (in the story of the performance) (also requires a lot of trust and comfort with your partner because you need to hold prolonged eye contact with them). Also diverts audiences attention from you potentially making mistakes with other parts of your body lol. They do it well <3

MASSIVE kudos to the choreography!!! It was very fun, and you could read a story from it!! Loved the bits of visualising the lyrics!!