#goddamnit staff

[thecraftybear]

Why the fuck is Tumblr Live back on my dash? Wothba goddamn button in the middle? And an assortment of strippers on top? @staff

[ineedaplacetostay]

Staff! I am up to my female-presenting nipples in porn bots! WHY?!

[melodyofthevoid]

Edit: Staff has since turned off replies. I think that's a pretty good indicator on how this is going.

A new way to navigate Tumblr

If you use Tumblr on a web browser, you might have noticed us testing a brand new navigation on your dashboard in the last month. Now, after some extensive tweaks, we’ve begun rolling out this new dashboard navigation to everyone using a web browser. Welcome to the new world. It’s very like the old world, just in a different layout.

Why are we doing this? We want it to be as easy as possible for everyone to understand and explore what’s happening on Tumblr—newbies and seasoned travelers alike.

Labels over icons: When adding something new to Tumblr in the past, we’d simply add a new icon to our navigation with little further explanation. Turns out no one likes to press a button when they don’t know what it does. So now, where there’s space, the navigation includes text labels. Since adding these, we’ve noticed more of you venturing to previously unexplored corners of Tumblr. Intrepid!

What’s already been fixed? Thanks to feedback from folks during the testing phase, we’ve been able to make some improvements right out of the gate. Those include returning settings subpages (Account, Dashboard, etc.) to the right of the settings page instead of having them in an expandable item in the navigation on the left; fixing some issues with messaging windows on smaller screens; and streamlining the Account section to make it easier to get to your blogs.

What’s next? We’re looking into making a collapsible version of this navigation and improving the use of screen space for those of you with enormous screens. We’re also working on improving access to your account and sideblogs.

That’s all for now, folks. For questions and suggestions, contact Support using the “Feedback” category. Please select the “Report a bug or crash” category on the support form for technical issues. And keep an eye out for more updates here on @changes.

[misseyres]

WHAT is this newfangled rb interface. it's ugly it's awful get it out of my sight

[leam1983]

*Grunts in mild disappointment*

They've changed the site's browser-based layout. Again.

Why is my main bar to the left? Why is the Create Post button to the left? I'm right-handed; everything made sense to me before, now it's all slanted towards the one side of the screen I rarely use.

Really hoping XKit or something similar lets us savage the site's CSS and XML, eventually.

[tswwwit]

One of the staff workers in raised spirits DEF thinks dippers at least fucking one of the ciphers ghosts

I'd go so far as to say more than one of the staff members has certain Suspicions, re: Dipper talking to thin air all the time.

[fruitsgoblin]

re: the latest tumblr news

is it really that shocking or alarming to people that the site is being put on a skeleton crew? no it's not dying, but it's definitely not receiving further updates

you either support the websites you like or you don't. this was coming. the best thing that could happen now would be for someone else to grab tumblr I guess... preferably a smaller group that actually cares

[obscureenthusiast]

snoozing tumblr live doesn't remove the tab from mobile anymore this is not a fucking drill

[serious-goose]

currently bobbing and weaving past all of p0rn bots girlies in my fandom tags 🔫

[vi-enti]

now what the fuck is this

[ev-arrested]

I know it in my soul that whenever Damian has to play violin for school and needs an accompanist, he fucking drags Dick out of Blüdhaven and back to Gotham to play piano. Dick has not practiced piano since Aunt Harriet stopped bugging him to attend his lessons when he left the manor, and he doesn’t even like playing piano. But for Damian? Sigh F i n e, he’ll play the accompaniment.

He’ll drag out his dusty practice books to refresh himself on proper hand posture and what the fuck an F looks like on the staff. Yes, yes, he’ll look up whatever squiggly abomination is on his sheet music that music experts claim is “modern notation”.

Bruce, who knows how to play piano, or can otherwise contact professional piano accompanists, is like “son, please. leave your brother alone. he hasn’t even played in years.” And Damian’s like “NO. I will settle for nothing less than Grayson.”

“Son, that’s such a low bar.”

But Damian will have his way. He will perform with his brother, goddamnit.

[something-im-forgetting]

Getting really fucking tired of your shit tumblr! This is literally a pencil drawing nude self portrait, it specifically states I. Your terms and conditions that nudity, in the case of art, is allowed, what more can you ask of me?!

[reminiscingtonight]

would you do a blurb or headcannons for prior engagements?

Prior Engagements Headcanon:

You miss graduation due to an away game scheduled the day of

The barca girls try raising your spirits but they can tell you’re a little disappointed

The game is won easily but by the time you get back to the hotel you’re tired, grumpy, and just want to cuddle with your girlfriend 

To your disappointment Alexia all but bolts the second the bus door opens

You don’t even have time to play the wounded girlfriend card because Mapi all but glues herself to your side the moment Alexia’s gone

Dropping off your things in your room? Mapi’s giving you unsolicited advice about your nonexistent cat that she thinks you should adopt

Hunting walking around the hotel in hopes of finding your girlfriend? Mapi’s talking your ear off about the trip Ingrid’s taking her on after the season’s over

Showering to get some peace and quiet? Mapi’s sat outside with the bathroom door wide open, yelling above the shower so she can be heard

By the time you’ve pulled on a change of clothes, ready for your dinner with some of the barca girls, you’ve hit your Mapi limit

The Spainard looks nonplussed when you hint heavily that she should go find Ingrid

“Oh don’t worry, Frido invited me and Ingrid to dinner. She’ll meet us there.”

When Mapi starts directing you to the rec room, you try digging your heels in

She whines that she left her sweatshirt there yesterday but you tell her you’ll wait in the lobby for her with a straight face

When she “accidentally” hits the floor for the rec room, you have to resist the urge to strangle her

The lights are off when you push open the door, which you find strange

Even stranger, when you turn around Mapi has seemingly disappeared

“Goddamnit, Maria, where--”

You jump when the lights flicker on, confetti raining down over you as you’re met with the sight of your grinning teammates

Everyone’s wearing makeshift caps and gowns, a few of them even with fake scrolls in their hands

Alexia comes forward, plopping a graduation cap onto your head

“My smart scholar, I’m so proud of you”

The training staff turns a blind eye when Alexia excitedly pulls you forwards deeper into the room where you can see a cake on the table with a crudely drawn hat and diploma over its top

You’re trying to be polite about it, but Mapi has no qualms making fun of her artwork

Alexia frowns and Ingrid’s already beginning to scold her girlfriend, but you find your justice by grabbing hold of Mapi by the shoulders and shoving her face first into the cake

Alexia decides the debt paid at the sight of Mapi sputtering and wiping frantically to clear her vision

Send me a fic title

[thefishermansharbor]

The main 6 as parents!

The arcana x GN!Reader (TW: Mentions of pregnancy, reader is GN but hinted at being pregnant in Asra's chapter, light cursing.)

Asra Alnazar:

Again, someone who prefers adoption. A lot like Muriel, his past trauma of being an orphan on their own in  aplace as dangerous as the Vesuvian docks made him want to be an open and safe place for children. 

If you do get pregnant though, he turns to his mother. She’s experienced it - she might know what to do to in order for him to make it easier for you. He’ll research spells to lessen pain and morning sickness, and stuff like that. 

He would love to give them a name dedicated to your love - for example, a combination of your names, or he might name them after some place special to the two of you. 

Asra is a pretty chill parent. He’s not too bothered about what they do, as long as it’s safe and makes them happy. If they do get in trouble, he’ll use non-violent and pretty lenient punishments. Ex : Taking a toy away for a few hours, making them sit in time-out, etc. 

He wants his kids to be free - spirited and do what makes them happy. Even if this makes his kids go for what might not be the safest option, he just wants them to feel empowered.

As a new parent, one can’t help but feel scrambled. Asra is no exception. Dealing with a newborn baby is not for the worried - or faint of heart. It’s especially not for those who don’t do well with little sleep. 

This is what led him to his parents. He knocked on their door, hoping they’d come quickly. He didn’t know how much longer of his son’s screaming he could take. His mother opened the door, surprised. 

“ .. who could it be at this hour.. Asra?” Aisha rubbed at her eyes, trying to rub the sleep away. “ .. what are you doing here, baby? Come in,” 

He sighed, “ Sorry to bother you, mom.” She ushered him inside, “ It’s alright, hunny.” It took her a minute to register everything, she noticed the baby only once he’d gotten inside. 

“ .. How’s ___? Are they keeping alright? How’s–” The realization hit her like a truck. “ oh my god! Did they go into– is that..?” He nods, and she bursts into tears. 

“ Oh, Asra! You’re a father, you’re.. I’M a grandma! Before he could blink, Aisha wipes her tears. “ What’s it’s name?” 

“ His name is Jordan, mom. He’s– a week old,” 

“ why didn’t you tell me sooner, Asra?” She sighed.

“ I’ve been meaning to but things had come up and – well, I need your help.” Asra scratched the back of his neck. 

“ Of course! What is it?” 

“ .. how do you make a baby stop crying? I’ve tried everything.”

She laughs. “ give him to me.” 

Asra hands her the baby, and as if it’s magic – Jordan stops crying full stop. He actually goes to sleep in Aisha’s arms. 

“ H-how’d you do that?” Asra’s face with a mix of impression and surprise. 

“ .. Grandma magic, hunny.” She winked, 

Lucio Morgasson:

He has it rooted in his mind that children have to be biological to be the perfect ‘heir’ to Vesuvia. He’d push for it to be that way – but if you really wanted to adopt, he’d be just as an enthusiastic parent no matter what. 

Lucio wants a larger family but to be honest, he wouldn’t be able to handle more than one kid. 

If you adopt, he’s fine with adopting any age. If you get pregnant, he’d only give the best for you. He always has the finest made for you, but even more so. Although he, personally, isn’t much help - the castle staff are on higher guard and listen to you much more. 

He’s totally a girl dad. His daughter wants him to wear a tutu and tiara? Goddamnit, he’s wearing one. 

He’s a fun parent but he does what he wants - and his kids follow that. He doesn’t feel the need to be patient, or act in benefit of his kids. He’s really chaotic, and doesn’t recognize that he should be nurturing his kids, not partying with them. 

“ Daddy! Daddy!” Lily shouts, grabbing his pant leg. He looks down, and smiles. “ There she is! What is it, silly-lily?” He tickles her face, and she giggles. 

“ Auntie Nadi taught me how to paint my nails!” She confidently shows off some poorly done pink nail polish. He does a mock gasp and claps, “ they look amazing! Anyways, you were saying..” 

“ Can I paint your nails, daddy? Pretty please?” She gives him those puppy dog eyes he can never say no to. He wasn’t too bothered about going to the event on Vesuvian finances, spending time with his daughter sounded a lot more fun. 

“ Sure.” 

That’s was all he needed to say. She flipped open a bag, and took several colors out. “ Which one do you want, daddy?” He surveys them, and chooses a deep blood red. 

She paints carefully.. But a 6 year old can only paint so well. It’s messy, but she tried her best. Even though it’s messy, Lucio seems pretty happy with it. Valerius passes by, and notices it. 

“ My count.. What are you doing?”

“ Getting my nails painted, obviously.”

Valerius rubbed his temples, “ My count, you cannot be serious. No one will take you seriously with that mess on your hands..” 

Lucio furrows his brow. “ How dare you suggest that this is anything other than pure artwork!? I look absolutely FABULOUS. You are just too incompetent to recognize this pure beauty!” He winks at his daughter, who’s staring at him in awe. Valerius walks off, too tired to deal with Lucio. 

Julian Devorak:

He personally would like to have biological kids. There’s really no reason for it, he just wants it and knows, being a doctor, that he can handle a pregnant partner well. He’d also want to have multiple kids, because his relationship with Portia is really good and he’d want his kids to have that experience too. 

If you prefer to adopt, he would try and convince you to have biological children, but if you really didn’t, he wouldn’t keep pushing it. 

He’d want to name one after Portia. She was what kept him alive at one point, and he knows that she’s special and deserves it - so as long as you’re fine with it, he wants that to happen. 

He would be the authority parent. Definitely the “ just wait until your father gets home,” and he’s fine with that. He’s a very tactile parent otherwise, and is very sweet with his children. 

Once they get to be older, he does try and embarrass them a bit. But it’s all in good fun and he doesn’t mean to really offend them. 

He sighs, happy the long day of work is over for him. He jingles his keys in the door and walks through the entryway of your shared home. “ I’m home!” He shouts. 

Two little kids come instantly running in from the living room. A little girl with bouncy brown curls hugs his leg, and a slightly older boy runs right up in front of him. 

“ papa! You’re back!” The girl says, the boy nods. “ You’ll never guess what we did today!” 

“ oh, really?” He says, taking his coat off. You walk through afterwards, sighing and smiling at the two of them. 

“ Pasha, Ivan! Let your father get in the door.”

“ but ___! He’s been gone for agesss…” Ivan complains, “ yeah! And we have so much to tell him!” Pasha chimes in. Julian ruffles Ivan’s hair, and then tickles Pasha’s chin. “ It’s alright, dear. I love the attention,” You roll your eyes, leaning on the doorway. He walks over and kisses you on the cheek, before his hands travel to your back and he kisses you on the lips. 

Your daughter looks away in horror, and your son boos. “ Ew, you guys! Stop, that’s nasty!” 

Julian chuckles and steps back, you put your head on his shoulder. 

“ – well, tell me about your day then, kids.” 

He ushers them both into the next room, and you can’t help but smile and get that warm and safe feeling in your heart. You love them.

[hazeltail]

Love how staff turned the replies off

Tuesday, October 17th, 2023

🌟 New

We’ve got some spooky new blog badges in TumblrMart! Check ’em out. 👻 ☠️

We’re rolling out some updates to how post information is displayed in feeds, mostly consolidating interface elements into the header of each post. These changes include removing the “floating” avatar on web and moving it into the post header, moving post info like “Pinned” and “Based on your likes” into the main header instead of an additional header, removing duplication of blog names and Follow buttons, and other small visual design refreshes.

We’re also rolling out a change to the iOS and Android apps that lets you use the hardware volume buttons on your device to mute/unmute videos.

🛠 Fixed

On web, we’ve made some updates to how direct messaging works to improve the real-time connection on flakey networks. Previously, direct messages could sporadically stop arriving unless you closed and reopened the conversation window if your connection to Tumblr faltered for a few seconds.

🚧 Ongoing

We’re still working to fix an issue in the iOS app that’s been causing the messaging/activity nav bar item to not be updated properly with a count of how many unread activity items you have. Sometimes it gets stuck and loses count, even though you’re receiving activity.

🌱 Upcoming

We’re working on setting up some logic to limit push notifications when a post of yours blows up, and we’re interested in getting volunteers to help figure out what the best thresholds are. If you want to help, reach out in the replies!

Experiencing an issue? File a Support Request and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can!

Want to share your feedback about something? Check out our Work in Progress blog and start a discussion with the community.

Wanna support Tumblr directly with some money? Check out the new Supporter badge in TumblrMart!

[esamastation]

Shizuroth, part 3

-

There's a restroom on the lowest of the medical floors that's kinda sacred for the SOLDIERs. Well, it's probably sorta sacred for everyone who has to go through the floors for any reason other than because they actually like their job - which is probably everyone other than professor Hojo himself. But it's especially so for the SOLDIERs.

It's the closest restroom to the laboratories. Mainly, the injection laboratory. And so it tends to be the first stop for any SOLDIER immediately post-injection. And as SOLDIER members get injected monthly, they become very familiar with it.

It's not special in any way - actually, it's pretty much identical to about a hundred other restrooms in the Shinra building. There's two urinals, two sinks, three toilet stalls and two fluorescent lights, one of them always broken - the one over the stalls, namely. Whenever it's fixed, it would promptly break again, coincidentally the same time the next SOLDIER came around.

By common, unspoken agreement, lab technicians never use the bathroom and the custodial staff avoid it, so usually the light stays unfixed for months - until someone new comes around, someone who didn't know the standard MO. They learn quickly. Nothing brings the point home quite like seeing an enhanced super SOLDIER lose their shit - sometimes literally.

This particular restroom, or rather The Restroom, has probably seen the worst the SOLDIER program has to offer. Sweat, tears, vomit, panic attacks, blood too - freakouts by the dozen. The SOLDIERs have probably spent more time cleaning the place up than the custodial staff, at this point. It's become something of a sanctuary, with offerings to match - from the not so hidden painkillers, stress toys and the shock blanket in the first stall, to the porn mags and… other things in the second to the third stall.

Third stall is people's favourite. The inside is completely covered in people's writing. Jokes, complaints, dozens of phone numbers boasting different forms of comfort, thousands of curse words, witty one-liners - encouragements. The entirety of LOVELESS is inscribed on the left side wall, with a small line beneath it, saying: goddamnit Genesis.

There's one line in the middle of the door, just at eye level, that's been overwritten and underlined by ten different markers for emphasis.

Whatever doesn't kill you makes you S̴̘̥̠̉̓̏̍T̴͔̎͝R̴̢͓̺̭͔͋́̕Ŏ̷͎̖͔̤̮̑͊̐͝Ņ̶̾̎̀Ǵ̵̠̫͒̍́͠Ë̸̶̬͖̜̤͎̦̻́͋̆̅̃R̴̢͓̺̭͔͋́̕

It's not exactly the best place to recover from having liquid fire injected into your veins, but it is the closest, and if you need to have a private freakout and get it out of the way as quickly as possible, proximity matters.

And that's where SOLDIER Third Class, Luxiere, stumbles post-op with his veins writhing inside him and his brain feeling like it's going to burst out of his skull. He's thinking, first stall. He needs something in his hand to squeeze before it starts cramping. He wants the blanket. He wants to sit somewhere private for just five, ten minutes, before he can trust himself not to wreck the elevator and everything else between him and the hot shower.

He does not want to see SOLDIER First Class Sephiroth hanging around in the Restroom, casually leaning his hip on a sink while he scrolls through his PHS.

The First Class looks up, eyes narrowing, tilting the PHS toward his chest like he's hiding whatever is on the screen.

Luxiere stops, swallows, says, "Sir," and hopes he doesn't throw up on the man's shoes. Or do something stupid, like ask for an autograph or training.

"... At ease," Sephiroth says after a moment, leaving Luxiere teetering at the edge of the door.

If it was literally any other SOLDIER, Luxiere would've thrown a weary salute and stumbled to the stall. Even if it was Genesis or Angeal, he could've done it. He would've been embarrassed, but he wouldn't have minded, he would've known they understood. For fuck's sake, half of the affirmations in the third stall are written in Angeal's hand.

He didn't know Sephiroth ever used the Restroom, though. He didn't think Sephiroth came through Injections. Didn't he get his straight from Hojo? That's what everyone says, no one ever sees him in regular injection wards. Hell, half of the SOLDIERs are convinced Sephiroth probably doesn't even have normal bodily functions, never mind needing the Restroom. What is he doing here?

Sephiroth doesn't even look real. Maybe Luxiere is seeing things? Mako injections can make you hallucinate, right?

… Probably best he didn't put it to a test, just in case. He already isn't sure he can ever look at the man the same way again.

He's still staring. They're both staring. It's awkward.

Finally, slowly, Sephiroth moves to lean against the back wall, and turns his attention back to the PHS, his eyes hard and keen. Whatever he's reading looks important.

Cautiously, Luxiere steps in and the Restroom door closes behind him, leaving him alone with the First Class. He feels like he shouldn't make any noises, but, at the same time…

There're many unspoken rules about the Restroom, and the first one is, you use the stalls for privacy. When there's someone in the stalls, you don't acknowledge them. You let them have their fit in private.

Hanging out by the sinks… that has the opposite significance. A silent request for companionship. And finding Sephiroth by the sinks is so bizarre that Luxiere almost can ignore the burning inside him. Like, fuck. What is he supposed to do here? He should say something. It's Sephiroth, he should…?

"... Injections, sir?" he asks awkwardly.

Sephiroth glances up. "... Mn," he answers. Awkwardly.

"That's… rough," Luxiere offers, mentally going, what do I do, what do I say, what are you supposed to say in situations like this? He should definitely do something. "Sir, are you, uh -?"

"I'm fine," Sephiroth says curtly, like he's not hanging out in the Restroom. He turns his eyes back onto the PHS. "Carry on."

Ah, o-okay then? Luxiere clears his throat and then moves to the first stall, closing the door robotically and grabbing a SOLDIER grade stress ball in each hand. His forearms burn, and there's a panic attack building in his guts, which has nothing to do with the injection.

He can hear the slightest creak of leather, as the other occupant of the Restroom moves. There's the sound of PHS keys being pressed. A slight breath. Weight being shifted. Like the First Class is relaxing, settling in for the long haul.

Fuck.

Sephiroth is hanging around in the Restroom.

Sephiroth is hanging around in the Restroom.

The moment his arms stop convulsing, Luxiere shakily digs out his PHS and sends an SOS to Lazard, with those exact words.

-

Comedy is in the eye of the beholder, as always with SY