#goddamnit tumblr staff

[vi-enti]

now what the fuck is this

[fruitsgoblin]

re: the latest tumblr news

is it really that shocking or alarming to people that the site is being put on a skeleton crew? no it's not dying, but it's definitely not receiving further updates

you either support the websites you like or you don't. this was coming. the best thing that could happen now would be for someone else to grab tumblr I guess... preferably a smaller group that actually cares

[obscureenthusiast]

snoozing tumblr live doesn't remove the tab from mobile anymore this is not a fucking drill

[ineedaplacetostay]

Staff! I am up to my female-presenting nipples in porn bots! WHY?!

[hazeltail]

Love how staff turned the replies off

Tuesday, October 17th, 2023

🌟 New

We’ve got some spooky new blog badges in TumblrMart! Check ’em out. 👻 ☠️

We’re rolling out some updates to how post information is displayed in feeds, mostly consolidating interface elements into the header of each post. These changes include removing the “floating” avatar on web and moving it into the post header, moving post info like “Pinned” and “Based on your likes” into the main header instead of an additional header, removing duplication of blog names and Follow buttons, and other small visual design refreshes.

We’re also rolling out a change to the iOS and Android apps that lets you use the hardware volume buttons on your device to mute/unmute videos.

🛠 Fixed

On web, we’ve made some updates to how direct messaging works to improve the real-time connection on flakey networks. Previously, direct messages could sporadically stop arriving unless you closed and reopened the conversation window if your connection to Tumblr faltered for a few seconds.

🚧 Ongoing

We’re still working to fix an issue in the iOS app that’s been causing the messaging/activity nav bar item to not be updated properly with a count of how many unread activity items you have. Sometimes it gets stuck and loses count, even though you’re receiving activity.

🌱 Upcoming

We’re working on setting up some logic to limit push notifications when a post of yours blows up, and we’re interested in getting volunteers to help figure out what the best thresholds are. If you want to help, reach out in the replies!

Experiencing an issue? File a Support Request and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can!

Want to share your feedback about something? Check out our Work in Progress blog and start a discussion with the community.

Wanna support Tumblr directly with some money? Check out the new Supporter badge in TumblrMart!

[something-im-forgetting]

Getting really fucking tired of your shit tumblr! This is literally a pencil drawing nude self portrait, it specifically states I. Your terms and conditions that nudity, in the case of art, is allowed, what more can you ask of me?!

[pisshandkerchief]

i could never leave tumblr because all my ffriends are here but WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING ;-; please staff you're making it hard to stay

exactly. I hate this website but am I going to leave? hell no. I will simply sit here on my porch whining about how it's all gone to shit and it was so much better back in MY day and I won't even consider picking up and leaving because this is my HOME goddamnit and it sucks

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Feeding Alligators 29 - Knives Out

I forgot to cross post to tumblr again! Crap in a hat.

You deal with Kahga.

On AO3.

It takes about forty minutes, you guess. You let Gale talk to the foppish hat man. Wander around and find an elevator and a rabid squirrel. It makes the mistake of trying to bite Lae’zel. It will never make another mistake again.

And then, below, you spot Bird Lady emerge from the cavern. She searches, finally notices y’all up there, and nods just once.

No one stops you from going into the druid cave. There’s no yelling as you trundle down the stairs. Water drips from the ceiling, and somewhere, a stream gurgles. There’s a wolf and three other druids in there with Kahga: Rath, a tall man and woman, and a short guy. No other bystanders, no possible backup for either side.

Fuck mcfuckity fuck.

You can’t stop the urge to gulp down air. Your hands rapidly go numb and awkward, your fingers little better than dead sausages hanging at your side. Gale is tense beside you, knuckles white as he grips his staff. Shadowheart unbuckles the first clip of the two that hold her mace to her back. Lae’zel is pure, coiled violence. And Astarion isn’t walking so much as slinking down at the tail end of the group.

You pull back 1. To be out of the way and 2. To get that stupid letter from Astarion. You almost drop it, and he gives your shaking hands a look.

It’s Kahga, predictably, who notices y’all first. She calls out something, but then y’all are on the main floor and you split off to the other man, Rath. While Gale talks to Kahga—pulling her attention from you for a crucial few seconds—you wordlessly hand the letter over. Watch Rath’s eyes dart back and forth, his dark brows furrowing.

“Kahga shadow druid,” you say. “Shadow druid talk no Halsin. Here no Halsin.”

Rath looks at you, and he doesn’t believe you. Or he doesn’t want to believe you. You’ve seen that expression before, many times. It never ends well.

Perhaps you’ll get lucky. Perhaps Kahga ain’t so far gone she can’t be brought back from that ledge.

Rath’s words to her are full of disbelief. Pain. You have to close your eyes and turn your face away from your crew.

Kahga snaps back full of defensiveness and venom. As you knew she would. Other voices chime in. Rath takes a few steps towards her, palms out, pleading. Yet the tendons in his arms are tight. Man is angry.

And that seems to set Kahga back. Her face is open, eyes searching.

Which is when the rats you hadn’t been paying attention to explode in golden light and emerge as three, short druids. And when Kahga calls one “Olodan,” you surmise they’re all shadow druids and you know exactly how this is going to go.

Because the old lady at the front is the ringleader (Olodan, presumably). And Kahga will never turn when her leader is here. She can’t. It’s been wired too deep into her by now, and though her face pinches in worry and what you suspect is grief, when the old lady reaches for the bow on her back, Kahga lifts her staff.

Goddamnit. God-fucking-damnit.

The violence is swift and brutal. It’s shocking how quickly one shoots the other, one dives in and clubs at another. Shouts and screams. The wolf darts in and grabs a former rat by the throat.

Wolves kill by crushing the windpipe.

Then the spells start flying and you duck behind a stone table. A shout and a body thuds overhead, drops down almost on top of you. It’s one of the rat fucker druids. Little shit shakes his head and spots you. Lifts a glowing hand.

You run.

Some sort of zap singes less than an inch from your ear. You dive behind a stone pillar and pull in your feet and hope you don’t get shot in the ass. More screams. Another druid erupts into golden light and then the biggest fucking badger you’ve ever seen rips into the rat fuck trying to shoot you.

Leaving two targets.

Olodan perches on a stone, firing ominously glowing arrows at Shadowheart and Gale, both ducking behind some kind of forcefield one of them threw up. Lae’zel hacks at a mess of vines holding her, and the old bitch turns, draws a different arrow, and sets the fucking vines on fire.

Shadowheart reacts. Glowing hands and reverberating voice and a torrent of rain dumps from nowhere. The fire clawing towards Lae’zel hisses in fury and blows into steam, but her move leaves Shadowheart exposed.

The bitch was waiting. The arrow is sickly green. It hits Shadowheart right in the armpit as her arms come down. Right in the gap of her armor. Punches into her chest up to the fletching and oh god, please no, please no—

Gale shouts. The old bitch takes aim again—

Flash of silver. Two blades whirl. The first catches the string of the bow—snaps it—and slices into her face. The second whips around Olodan’s throat and wrenches back hard enough it lifts her feet clean off the ground. Astarion nearly severs her head from her body, her neck gaping and gushing blood.

Leaving Kahga. The bitch herself. She squares off against Rath, the wolf, and one of the other druids. But in a blink, she launches something at the wolf and the druid, and both go down in a spray of some kind of mist.

The cloud wafts closer, dissipating as it roils. It’s still enough to make your face burn and your sinuses crackle.

You throw a sleeve over your mouth and nose. Rath shouts, Kahga shouts back. He tries to duck around her. Almost trips her with his staff, but she dances back.

And you see it.

She’s turned away from you. Focused on Rath. The both of them stand close to the edge of a chasm, where the ground plunges what sounds like a good distance to the water below.

She’s open. A vulnerability.

Weakness.

You’re moving before you can think. Tired and clumsy, hands numb and tingling, breath clawing your throat. Close the distance. She can’t turn. Can’t see you. If she just keeps—

Rath takes a hit. Staggers back. Her head lifts to scan the fight. She catches your movement. Eyes widen. Then tighten as she snarls.

You’re on her.

A swing to her left collarbone. She spins away.

You snap the staff up, try to jab at her.

Her own staff cracks against yours. The thing jumps. Your stupid meat paws are absolutely useless and the thing nearly goes flying. You scramble for it, brain screaming to grab it, grab it, losing track of everything else. Then her voice goes all echo-y and green glows out of the corner of your eye.

You snag your staff again.

No time now. No thinking or tactics. All instinct.

You charge.

You’re a bigger girl. Tall, too. Out of shape, weak, fat, and people have called you all these things and worse.

But all that weight? It’s mass. And when you move mass at speed?

You crash into her. All her fancy footwork, her careful staff tricks, her magic. All of it gets knocked stupid and flailing like a quarterback mowed down by an enemy linebacker.

She was right on that ledge. This sends her flying. Her hand clutches your staff even as you dig in your heels to keep yourself from going over, too. She catches herself. Dangles on the lip, toes scrabbling to keep an inch of purchase, but she’s off balance and only your staff keeps her.

She looks at you in that split second. No hatred or sneering. No disgust or fantasy fucking racism or devils or thieves. Just a woman with green eyes. Green eyes wide and shining with unspent tears, her mouth open but silent.

Scared.

Her weight hits the staff. You brace it without thinking. But.

But.

No thought. No judgment. Just the clear solution, the path to victory. You don’t feel anything in that moment but cold certainty.

You let go.

A scuffle and she drops. Too fast to scream. Too fast to do anything but fall. Fall for a long moment that seems to stretch as something nasty inside you shivers, something almost like relief because it wasn’t you, not you, they can’t hurt you if you hurt them first. It’s righteous.

Then the thud. The sound of meat splitting over rocks.

“Kahga,” Rath says, and it’s a plea. For salvation or repentance, you don’t know.

The grove moves around you as you stumble back. Gale and the tall druid swoop in to Shadowheart. The arrow sticking out of her is obscene, a violation of her flesh.

Your heel hits something. You trip, but catch yourself before you can fall. Glance down and spot the face. One of the Halsin supporters, the woman who turned into the giant badger and saved your life. Her face and throat are a wet, bloody mess of pink gristle.

“Oh,” you say.

You brought this. You and your letter and your meddling.

You can’t speak to anyone. Can’t help Shadowheart, can’t reassure or even fucking apologize to Rath and you’re not sure he would even want to look at you.

You should go. You should just…get out of this. Useless thing. Vicious thing. Get out of here, you stupid girl! Can’t do anything right. Always ruin everything, always make everyone else suffer.

Yeah. You’ll just…there’s the stairs. You clamber up practically on all fours. No one even notices you leave—too busy trying to help or heal or unfuck this mess.

Except for one.

Previous - Index - Next Chapter

[vivern-of-nosgoth]

All of these "Whyyy?" RE8 posts made me think that The Megamycete is literally a zomby mushroom or kind of parasitic flatworm. For example, Ophiocordyceps unilateralis (zombie-ant fungus) makes the ant to leave his anthill and control it till death, then grows from the ant's head, rupturing to release the spores. The ant behaves illogically, completely obeying the fungus.

Same with Leucochloridium paradoxum (the green-banded broodsac), parasite gets in the body of the snail, grows, then moves in her eye stalks, shaking inside them, imitade caterpillars. Parasite forces the snail stay in the light, to attract birds, their next feed station. Again, irrational behavior. Sooo…

Miranda and all Lords have kind of hyperfixation:

Alcina - blood (drown out hunger to keeping her self-control).

Karl - revenge (not freedom! Just I'll-show-you-all-you-fuckers)

Moreau - mom's appreciation (Mom look! I did cadou for you! And forgot to have some bed, normal food and clothes and home as well, I don't need it I need you first)

Donna - fear to be noticed (Don't look at me, I'm not here anyway, look at the dolls, so many of them)

And of course Miranda - her daughter (listen, she or The Megamycete make her Narcissistic as hell, I think she perceives Eva as her one and only justification of her own existence. Like without her Miranda is nothing and have nothing. Who is the father?!).

Cadou. Ok, Moreau used it to get mom's attention.

Donna just takes it out of her poor eye socket and.. Puts her cadou..In her dolls? Why, girl? New friends? Oh. So you need some company after all.

Alcina could obey Miranda's orders and experimented on her "bad" maids.. All of them. All of her staff. She don't even imprisoned them to have blood all the time, you know, just feed the bitches and take their blood, they could to be donor for at least 10-20 years. Now she haven't fresh blood and maids. Who washes your dresses now, ma'am? They are dirty you know..

Why the hell Karl needs this cadou shit if he can made some giant meat grinders? (hi Sturm, we love you, but goddamnit) Or use his electromagnetism to burn out enemies nervous system? Put Miranda in iron egg? Answer german boy, answer!

Miranda. Well, at first fuck you, at second - why didn't she.. Has a new baby in natural way? You know. Find some healthy rich bitch, shapeshift into his waifu (literally) and get the whole package? Her body has the best touch with Megamycete, so why not? Put Eva in a fresh kid and hooray. She didn't give a fuck about Eveline anyway, so what the problem. Or I don't know, brood Karl and Donna, or Karl and village girls, also whole tumblr is full of monsterfuckers just make some posts, furries will take all of lycans I swear

All of them used or spread cadou. If they achieved their goals - they wouldn't care about Megamycete anymore. So. Hyperfixation. Irrational behavior. Cadou. Spores. Parasitism. More.

Megamycete made them to continue their way to blind alley or to completely fall, because their victory is megamycete's end of feeding.

[netscapenavigator-official]

Goddamnit. Staff combined the Tumblr Live URL with the main one, so now NoScript can't block it at the top of my dash. Booooooo.

[cottagecryptic]

I think they rolled out the poll feature with the tumblr merch store change on purpose to distract us from cyberbullying staff into changing it back but we must stay strong

[galaxy98]

Honestly, a part of me doesn't want to say "I'm not going to miss Twitter."

Because there was indeed a benefit to the potential networking it had for most marginalized users/creators/activists. Or really just in general.

But goddamnit it feels so tempting given my overall experience. Just so much fucking discourse after discourse. Doomposting after doomposting. The bigotry. Oh god the blatant bigotry people displayed on there was unsettling.

The doomposting part also gets to me because there were times when I just wanted to fucking get off the site. Look, when people tell you that "scrolling isn't activism" they really meant that. And as someone who's a leftist, I just want to fucking breathe for just a little while. Especially after the news with the supreme court.

9 times out of 10 you would have users who really deserved to be ratioed for the shit they spewed, but then you have this small set of them who really didn't need the unwanted attention.

What makes this all so unnerving was that it was FUNDAMENTALLY designed to be like that. Yeah, the algorithm was meant curate a negative experience as a way to drive up traffic.

I feel sorry for the artists--SFW and NSFW--and sex workers alike because the reason why they went to Twitter in the first place was due to Tumblr kicking them out. Where the hell are they supposed to go now huh? We have no way of knowing if this website's ban is still in effect or if the rules are so inconsistent with whats allowed or not.

I mainly used it to privately lurk and you're certainly not going what it is because

1.I'm not going to bring unwanted attention to myself

2.Who's to say that Twitter is going to exist till tommorrow morning

Elon Musk had essentially drained any goodwill--or what was left anyway--that nobody wants to even touch it with a ten foot pole. And he did all of this by buying it off the previous staff. During those past few months, everyone essentially quit out of protest or was likely fired the moment he was put in charge. All because he wanted to change the narrative surrounding himself and Tesla. Despite the fact that he can't seem to comprehend that we just don't like him. This fucking "billionaire" could turn on a lightswitch and still find a way to fuck it up. And the simps will lap it up because they bought into his bullshit.

Actually you know what, all of this could be summed up with just a particular quote from the 2015 Steve Jobs movie:

"You can't write code. You're not an engineer. You're not a designer. You can't put a hammer to a nail."

So yeah.

You can see why it feels so tempting.

[somewhat-intelligent]

@staff

Yes.

What will the point of following people even be anymore if I'm never going to see their posts?

I don't want to see the same 4 posts every god damned day because it's what's POPulaR, or whatever. If I want to discover something new, I'll go look for it myself! Y'know. Like a living, breathing person with thoughts and feelings, and not some empty husk to feed content too.

I FOLLOW PEOPLE BECAUSE I LIKE THEIR VIBES AND WANT MORE OF THEM, SPECIFICALLY, GODDAMNIT!!

Maybe what tumblr should ACTUALLY work on is their dogshit search function.

Like. C'mon tumblr. I love you, but what the fuck are you doing? Don't squander the bits of favor you've curried with your userbase.

@staff hey watch this

PLEASE REBLOG THIS TO GET MORE VOTES.

[iskawhiskers]

you know, becoming aware of how anti-queer and narrative-controlling tumblr staff have been within like four months of going active again on this site really just feels like such an enormous suckerpunch.

why did i even come back here? and goddamnit, why is this the only place some of my closest friends will even think about socialising??

[fanficmustread]

Goddamnit tumblr staff

fun fact: @staff recently made a cute little change to desktop where clicking on the url of the previous reblog will now take you to the top of that person's blog, instead of their reblog of the post

a super cool fun consequence of this is that it is now way harder to find previous tags! so if you're gonna 'prev tags' someone, I highly recommend also copying their tags into your reblog. (It's generally a good thing to do anyway tbh, in case the previous reblog ever gets deleted and their tags are lost forever.)

I will definitely be sending my feedback in a support ticket, and if this pisses anyone off as much as I do, I suggest that you do the same!

[lgbtqforeverything]

staff has gotten too prideful from every other site crashing face first into the floor. someone needs to publicly shame tumblr so that they remember that while the other sites are on the floor we’re blacked out in a bathroom and put the tags and post buttons back.