#goddamn whats wrong with me today | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

coastalshifts · 16 days ago

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smokes a blunt to cope with the fact that my boyfriend was in fact a child at one point with dreams and talents and nobody to look after him and he wore ratty holey clothes and played in a polluted creek and had to make his own toys and and and

wow all my worries seem so far away from up here

#goddamn whats wrong with me today #full of Feelings i suppose #viktor baby pls come play bg3 with me and cuddle with me and we can take care of each other #i know what it feels like to be a lonely kid watching everyone else play and have fun and you feel so different and broken #i know #f/o: viktor faust

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twinksintrees · 17 days ago

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transmasc tears in this chili’s tonight

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seventh-district · 25 days ago

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#Seven’s Public Diary #vent #vent post #cw negative #cw health issues #‘You’re such a heartless and hateful person.’ well have you ever considered that i’m not really a hateful person and i just hate You #like. call me whatever you want to i guess. im definitely selfish and probably heartless but hateful? idk abt that.#i only feel like i hate people that have given me good fucking reason to. sorry i dont have an infinite supply of tolerance & forgiveness??#but im a wee bit fucking stressed so you’ll have to forgive me for being a bitch. well no one Has to forgive me. do whatever you want #‘That 10-day old pasta salad is making me feel sick.’ MF that was made TODAY. IT’S FRESH AND THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT #if you feel sick how about you look down at the fifteen empty beer cans on the floor next to you and ask them what they think did it #dumbass. whatever man i have bigger problems than your self-induced tummy ache #i feel sick too but i know it’s my fault so i’m not bitching about it. i gave you fresh food while I ate the old stuff to keep from wasting #food. because you act like you’re fucking allergic to leftovers. and yeah it had probably gone off and that’s why I feel sick #but what you ate tonight was fresh as could be so we’re sick for two Very different reasons. and i know how to admit when it’s my fault #everything is my fault. my teeth and gums hurt and that’s My fault for not taking care of them. apparently 3 root canals wasn’t enough #for me to learn my goddamn lesson. i never do. so i’ll have to spend more money on that soon and thats My fault. the dog’s teeth need #cleaning too and that’ll come out of my pocket and i guess that’s My fault for not taking care of him either #i think i have another goddamn UTI and that’s definitely My fault so another $100 trip to urgent care it is i guess!#my Random Nerve Pain has moved to my hands so i can’t use them too much or it fucking hurts and i guess that’s my fault???#my neck pain is back and thats my fault for not clearing my bed off enough to sleep in a comfortable position #my eye keeps twitching and i guess that’s my fault too. i don’t know anymore i just wanna throw in the towel man im so tired #god the UTI tests i wasted money on are arriving tomorrow and if they’re packed in a way that shows what’s inside then i’ll have to explain #That to whoever brings in the mail. great great something else to worry about all night #the living room floor is caving in so now there’s Two room’s floors that need fixing so that’s super fucking fun! 😃#i need to talk to my bank and i need to talk to a tax professional and i need to learn to drive and i need to get an autism diagnosis #well i don’t Need the last one but i want it so bad. but im scared. that i’ll go to all this trouble and they’ll say i don’t qualify #and god it’s NYE now. Besties i’m not gonna get that NMbD NYE fic ready in time. i just can’t make myself write these days. i’m sorry.#i doubt anyone is gonna be That disappointed but I Am. in myself. 3 fucking years now i’ve failed to finish it. w h y. i Want to write but #there’s just too much on me rn. but when is there Not. sigh. idk what i’m gonna do but something needs to change. in my life. soon.

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trentcrimminallybeautiful · 9 months ago

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you know if we do accept the last epilogue-esque sequence as a sort of dream/wish of ted's and therefore not necessarily canon, very funny if we then simply go "yeah, trent's book is called 'the lasso way' actually. he didn't change that. nope."

#listen on one hand #i think that like #i don't think ted actually changed trent's mind about the title #i think trent changed it because ted asked him to #and like that's especially interesting bc he even made a point of being like #'tell me if you disagree with anything and i'll tell you why you're wrong'#but he respects ted; more than that he likes him and he wants him to like the book--like him #anyone else and trent would have told them to fuck off but ted? ted asking him to change the title? yeah #i think he didn't agree with 'it not being about him'--and not bc of any feelings he may have for ted--but if we accept that him changing #the title is canon then like. he did it because ted asked. nothing more nothing less #maybe he felt he owed it to ted as the subject of the book; maybe he just respected him too much not to #maybe it's partially bc of his feelings; maybe it's because he just couldn't say no to ted #but it's ultimately just. because ted asked him.#and trent respects him; trusts him; cares about him #and that's pretty heartwrenching #but like on the other hand if we say 'no that was ted's wishufl thinking trent definitely went 'sorry ted it's called the lasso way''#also like.... him being like. like quietly not changing it and if ted said something him just. being like #ted. i respect you. i care about you. i trust you. but with all due respect absolutely not #yes it isn't ONLY about you but YOU made this happen. YOU are special and YOU have a place here whether you can stay forever or not #yes it's about the team and the coaches yes you aren't a one man band but ted. TED. you touched lives. you changed lives. and that was YOU.#that was you and your philosophy and your attitude.#you made richmond what it is today. yes the team deserve credit too for the kind of bond they have now but YOU facilitated that #none of the coaches currently here woudl be coaches if not for you. the diamond dogs wouldn't exist. literally every single one #of our friends--OUR friends--wouldn't be where they are and probably wouldn't be as happy #you got through to people over and over again who were hurting and lashing out. to rebecca. to roy. to jamie. to nate. to me.#and you can be humble but there's being humble and there's acting like you don't matter to any of us like you didn't have an impact #like you can just leave without a trace. we don't blame you for leaving--i especially don't--but acting like we won't miss you and like #your time with all of us--our time--meant nothing is more insulting than it is humble because we /love you/#and yes. it was the goddamn lasso way that built this place #this community.

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bowserphobia · 4 months ago

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i need to find a place where I can mock r slash mario….. its the worst subreddit on earth

#arthoughts #endless posts like ‘does anyone remember super Mario galaxy????’#but what pissed me off today is there was a post making fun of imo an iconic foundational edgy Mario fan comic from like 20 years ago #you goddamn kids!!! your opinions are WRONG #however there used to be a ton more stolen artwork but they’ve gotten better about that #and for some reason I stay subscribed

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shima-draws · 1 year ago

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Currently in my banging my head against the wall phase. Hope you all are well 🥰

#Doc told me to schedule another MRI on Tuesday. They said they sent the order over on Tuesday.#I call on Tuesday to schedule the appointment. They don't have the referral yet #I called yesterday to try and schedule. They STILL don't have the referral #I message my doc and make sure they actually sent it over to the right place. (They did.)#They say they'll fax it over again! Great!#I call AGAIN today. They STILL don't have the referral #Bro I just need to schedule this fucking MRI so I can find out what's WRONG with me #The girl on the phone was like 'Oh yeah we're real busy we get orders all the time it must not have hit the system yet'#BRO IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS. HOW HAS NOBODY SEEN IT. TEARING my hair out #I went to their website to try and schedule online. Guess what? THEIR GODDAMN SCHEDULING ASSISTANT IS DOWN FOR MAITENANCE #SCREAMS #Anyway yes so in my banging my head against the wall phase. I'm so tired #And still in pain! To nobody's surprise!!#They can't fix what's wrong with me if I can't even get in to get an MRI. Hello. PLEASE #This isn't really smth that can wait a couple weeks #I should've been in to see them like YESTERDAY.#My pain is so bad I had to stay at home today. And I go and ice my back every hour or so #Bc I can't sit down for more than 45 minutes without wanting to kill myself ;))))#Shima speaks #I'M SORRY I'm just so. I've been over this for months. And now that I'm THIS close to getting answers #I can't. Seem to get these people to schedule an appointment for me #Grinds my teeth

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copper-dragon-in-disguise · 3 months ago

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I swear if I end up having some bizarre rare eye/brain problem I'm going to fucking murder something

#i understand its not bad enough to risk doing the surgery again because if it goes wrong i could easily go blind in that eye #HOWEVER #isn't there at least a middle ground between the surgery and the doing nothing about it #(there isn't)#i get to get an mri about it!#but the good news is that i might get an explination for the migraines that were supposed to stop when i got the glasses and then didnt #and i swear if someone tells me to drink more water one more time--#i KNOW im chronically dehydrated but there are OTHER PROBLEMS HERE PEOPLE #being chronically dehydrated doesnt make it HURT TO MOVE YOUR GODDAMN FUCKING EYE #the bad news is that there still isnt an explination for the thing i got surgery for when i was a kid suddenly coming back 8 years later #if it was meant to come back it would've done it within 12 months generally speaking #it has been. 8 years and guess what came back! :)#yep the thing that was SUPPOSED TO BE GONE FOREVER #went to the doctor today and he said quote #huh. thats unusual!#cw medical #tw medical

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lesbiansanemi · 1 year ago

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I hate working with men

#have a male coworker who has been doing his job HORRENDOUSLY wrong #to the point that everyone else is having to take HOURS of their shifts to fix what he’s fucked up #and APPRENTLY several of my coworkers have tried to talk to him about it and correct him #and he’s been getting so goddamn offended and butthurt over it and acting like he’s not doing anything wrong #(and this is important the ppl who have tried talking to him are all older women. one in her 40s one in her 50s and one in her 60s)#ONE OF WHOM IS OUR DEPARTMENT MANAGER #and I was bitching about him today #and one of them was like ‘well maybe you should try correcting him’#and I was like why 1. not my job I’m not a manager but 2. he’s not listened to anyone else why would he listen to me #and she was like ‘well it will feel less threatening from you less like he’s getting scolded by a mom so he might take it better’#and like. HM! WELL!#I know this is a crazy wild absolutely batshit suggestion #but when a man gets told what to do/corrected by women (who have all been doing this job SIGNIFICANTLY longer)#and his reaction to is to act like a little fucking disrespectful piss baby #WE JUST WRITE HIM UP LIKE WE WOULD ANYONE ELSE INSTEAD OF TRY TO APPEAL TO HIS FWAGIL TEENY TINY EGO #LIKE IDK SEEMS LIKE THE NORMAL COURSE OF ACTION TO ME?????#not make the androgynous goth bitch in their 20s try to correct him cuz I’m SOMEHOW less threatening #I’m read as a woman he’s gonna have the same damn reaction #I just. ugh. UGH #I fucking hate men #kaz rambles

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autopsytableromance · 2 years ago

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I am going to commit murder.

#was logged into someones (dont remember whos) hbo on my phone and nowhere else. i open it today to watch the succession finale.#theyve become max (still the same fucking company.) there is a new max app (there shouldnt be. just change the logo.)#the hbo app is unusable. if i want to to watch the finale i have to download the max app (i already have the hbo max app)#and enter my hbo max credentials (i dont have hbo max credentials)#im going to commit attrocities if i cant watch this goddamn show. why couldnt they wait a week. do they me (has never done anything wrong)#me personally to doe in an explosion. bc thats what going to happen.#🦈#prsnl

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applecherry108 · 2 years ago

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I’m going fucking insane.

My coworker is at Coachella so I’m the sole employee in the office for 3 days. My coworker is really good at faking niceness for strangers and randos, she’s really outgoing, whereas I hit my complete burnout point a few years ago and my autistic ass can no longer humor idiots, assholes, and old people.

Of all the idiots and assholes testing my patience today, it’s an old person that’s the last straw.

This guy will just….come into our office, every so often. Not to buy anything. Not to see the doctor. Just to chitchat. I do not want to fucking chitchat with the old man with nothing better to do than take up a working person’s time with bullshit. He’s nice, sure, but dude get out. I have a thousand things to do and I’m literally buried under files currently.

But I try. I try to be nice and make small talk. But he asks if I’m going to see the new Russell Crowe movie. Which one? The pope’s exorcist? Oh yeah, actually I am—I like horror movies.

OLD MAN SCOFFS AND SAYS ITS NOT *TECHNICALLY* A HORROR MOVIE BECAUSE ITS ABOUT A REAL PERSON. MY GUY. ITS A HORROR MOVIE. ITS SENSATIONALIZING A REAL PERSON BUT ITS 100% A HORROR MOVIE.

Thank god our next patients walk in then and Old Man leaves but like…. Get out. Get out and leave me alone, I didn’t want to chitchat in the first place, but you wanna argue about whether or not the horror movie is a horror movie??? Old Man, at least when people try to make conversation with a barista and they’re forced to play nice, you at least ordered goods and services. You did no such thing here. Get. Out.

#idiots today include: woman who walks in as I’m putting someone on hold on the phone so I ask her to please just give me a minute #‘oh it’s just a quick question!’ 🙄🙄🙄 bitch I #I’m busy. wait your goddamn turn there’s literally only one person here and it’s me.#bitch over the phone ‘I’ve been leaving messages’ she left ONE voicemail yesterday. that I returned. and she tries to talk to me #WHILE DRIVING the other person in the car yells at her to fucking call back BECAUSE SHES DRIVING #and when she DOES call back she snaps at me as I’m telling her how her insurance works bc I used the phrase ‘in genera’ ‘’not in general!!#specific to me!’’ and then the moron family wanting to waste their insurance on coordinating benefits when it’s be better served fully #using both plans but fucking whatever. and this guy wants no prescription sunglasses WHEN HE NEEDS A PRESCRIPTION TO SEE WHAT IS WRONG W/ U #apple talks #to the tune of spam #the rage has boiled over and the scalding water of my anger is fucking up the burner and causing a weird smell

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moonstonediaz · 2 years ago

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#i’m so mad i’m so mad i’m so mad i’m so mad IM SO MAD #this is the second time in a week that fedex has delivered my package to the wrong house #the first time was a saturday and the woman was an ANGEL and walked my package down the street to me #unfortunately i never caught her name or which house she was at #today they delivered it to her house. YET AGAIN. and she hasn’t come by with it #i posted in our neighborhood group but she either hasn’t seen it or isn’t part of it #and i can’t even file a missing package claim bc of how the sender shipped it #so now i have to have freaking ULTA INVOLVED. IN REPORTING MY PACKAGE MISSING #and i’m already pre-stressing about YET ANOTHER FUCKING PACKAGE that fedex is delivering on saturday #and it’s a fucking whole ass cake so i NEED to receive it MYSELF #and idk what to do #bc the fucking idiot ass driver obviously cannot do his one job which is reading numbers on packages #and i cannot for the life of me figure out how to report it?!?#i can understand like a one off mistake. it’s happened before. it’s happened to all of us #but to CONSISTENTLY deliver my package to someone else’s house. like???? dyslexia???? in this economy?!?#i needed to vent and i did so thanks #also sorry 🥴 i get pissed off when i spend nearly $200 and the package goes fucking missing bc some fuckwad can’t match a house number #if i could have driven to ulta myself I WOULD HAVE. but this product is online only #i fucking hate fedex dude. they’re always the goddamn worst #ups is a masterclass in package delivery #RANT. OVER. IM SCREAMING #t talks in the tags

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kylewalker-peters · 2 years ago

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Woken up in such an absolutely FOUL mood today my patience is even shorter than usual (and it’s barely there to begin with) I’ve spent half the morning just telling myself to chill out

#like goddamn what is wrong with me today

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kindahotommo · 4 months ago

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god i fucking hate my roommate

#like honestly #how do you even deal with shit like this?#when i hear the key turning i immediately roll my eyes #and when she leaves i can't fucking trust her to lock the goddamn dokr #like what #and she doesn't fucking answer my texts #i tried to talk to her because she left the door wide open once #on the anniversary of our friends murder #in which some guy came into her house while she slept and killed her #so that's very not traumatizing at all #and she didn't open the medsage FOR 22 DAYS #after a week #i asked her to read it and she said “sure!” like everything was cool and fine and nothing was wrknu #wrong*#and then SHE DIDN'T READ KT #and today she sent me a text about something i didn't do that well #which i get and wouldn't be mad about #IF SHE WASN'T AN AWFUL FUCKING ROOMATE #I can't stand her anymore

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talkorsomething · 8 months ago

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The whole "go to sleep -> think about sh" thing is still happening. I know nobody was wondering, but it's bugging me. My blog anyways.

...

Well, we've gone too far past the "don't sh" territory that i don't think i actually ate all day.

(Owing to the shortness. No brain power probably and also i'm tired.)

And still. Without fail. The thought is there.

#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ #ed tw #sh tw #i dont think i'm adjusting well actually #every stupid little thing sets me off and its not even about me !!!#it's like i keep swinging between 'able to enjoy things like hobbies again' and just ... whatever this is.#it's not like ... look i exaggerate a lot ok. this is not moodswings. thats all. i'm fairly normal all things considered.#anyways i dont know !!!!!!!!!!!! what 2 do!!!!!!!!!#it took me all of guard season before i started really feeling comfortable with guard friends #but with this it's like... i guess i feel like i should know him already. and be ok with everything #well. i dont and i am not. i still feel trapped in the space i've been given.#and i dont get the impression that i'm wanted here really. more like i constantly feel like an intruder [...in my own house]#and it is NOT helping the 'executive functioning'(?) anxiety dysregulation either. i thought i was getting better but i guess today #proved me wrong in that regard. i don't remember what to liken it to.#i don't know. i was cursed with the ability to hear and it's stressing me out.#as always it comes back to being a little *too* self aware...#i know if everything was perfect it wouldnt be life or whatever but god i just want a place where i feel like i'm *safe*#take that how you will if you want.#what i mean by it is i'm tired of getting stuck because i'm scared of making a noise.#& im goddamn tired of being forced into the closet because of 1) of my circumstances (legally i cannot say)#2) the amount of anxiety i get over trying to (re-)come out to someone i KNOW isn't going to judge me in literally any way #well. i made my kofi page anyways. so maybe if i play my cards right top surgery will happen. i hope to fucking god it does >:[

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dazehui · 1 year ago

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🙂

#just hit today that like #i am always fighting to finish a goddamn sentence #with almost every person i talk to #i either cannot finish without interruption or am talked over #OR i am immediately questioned as if im de facto wrong #always had this as a problem but within the last two days #a triple whammy when these things happened #1) while telling a personal anecdote #2) in a class discussion #3) with my own family #just once again reminded that no matter how many accomplishments i have i will always have to claw for an iota of respect #…the class one really pissed me off #IM TOP 20 IN LAW SCHOOL I THINK I KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT

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the-cooler-king · 1 year ago

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the mortifying ordeal of being fully perceived.. . I still haven't figured out how to talk about it and I'm realizing more every day I'm still pretty fucked up over what happened to me when I was 15

#I start talking to myself trying to actually hear how the conversation will go #And I stop every time #I can tell it as a story but even after that I'm just stumped #Because I don't know how my not-boyfriend will react first of all #I just truly don't know what to expect. He'll probably be very sweet about it but I just. Don't. Know #And I also feel.... like... anthy himemiya understands exactly what I want to say #Like why would I let the world pierce me with a million swords of human hatred #And why would I stay with that person like she does with akio?#It's hatred *of myself*. I wanted to hurt myself and the other person by staying.#I just... what will he think about that?#Utena.... wait for me.#I really need to ponder on this line of thinking a little more #Now that I'm far enough in the tags like I have it so bad for this guy. I never thought I would feel in this way again #I never presumed to be allowed such an option #And I get terrified suddenly by how wrong it could go. One misunderstanding. One bad day.#I just calm myself down thinking ok. It could go wrong but it hasn't today and I'll be goddamned if I don't try and fix it first #I will always put in the most effort I can with him. It's hard to explain but we both deserve that respect at this point #Anyway here's wonderwall

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