#goddamn i want to fuck him

[plantley]

ive had a bit of crush on my guy friend for a few months but ive been basically ignoring it and brushing it off as the wires are crossed and i dont actually like him, its only that he's one of my only guy friends and that i trust him so much, not a crush. and i cant have a crush on him because i dont date friends as a rule because it ruins the friendship and friend group. and theres no way he liked me too.

we had a fourth of july party, and especially towards the end of the night i thought there might be a little something. my legs were on him like kinda in his lap bc the couch was crowded. we were talking a lot, and at one point he went to grab my sunglasses from hanging on my tank top and like basically right between my boobs so like kinda intimate. but also literally all of our friend group is quite touchy and affectionate we everybody and we were drunk, so like none of that really was for sure that he liked me, but it felt different.

but the next week at trivia, he talked about dating apps or a girl he was talking to, so i took that as he obviously didn't like me and it was nothing because he was interested in other girls not me. so like id literally encourage him to get like the waitress' number and gave tips on talking to girls. like a month ago, my car broke and one week my friend allison gave me a ride and the 2 weeks after that max did, and its out of the way for both but i was like wow i have such good friends.

this saturday was allison's birthday party, and max said he was going to drive the 45 to pick me up and then 45 back to his and allisons place. and again thought, wow i have good friends and allison would have been sad if i couldnt be at her party. we all played beer pong, drinking games, just all hanging out and having a good time with everyone. i was crushing on max and was basically trying to see if itd be like last party and maybe there was something. i sat by him in our circle intentionally and kinda being more touchy than normal. but nothing either of us were doing were like obviously out of character and like clearly flirting.

part way thought the night, like 11 or 12, allison pulled me into her room and said "omg i just had an REVELATION! you and max need to hookup, tonight. yall have cute chemistry and now hookup and make it happen" and i was flabbergasted! like she knows my hard stance on "its a bad idea to date friends" so i tried arguing and like just making shocked stuttering noises, and before i could protest so much she grabbed me and pulled me back out to the party right by max, and she was smug like just do it.

but that had me thinking maybe its all in my head and like there is something there and maybe max likes me too. like if allison sees enough that she'd say that, its gotta be something. i kept acting the same way i was all night and now was just overthinking him even more.

towards the end of the night, like 2 or 3, some people went home, some were getting ready for bed, or just in smaller groups to talk in and it was just me and max talking. i was planning on just crash on the couch with julia, like normal, but by this point it definitely felt like there was something and he wanted to tell me but he couldnt. after a bit, he nervously asked if i wanted to be like cuddle buddies for the night and i said sure. we put on buffy the vampire slayer and cuddled for a bit but pretty quickly facing each other and having a real talk.

some of the details are a blur, but he was saying how he didnt want to pressure anthing or ruin our friendship, etc etc and hes fine with whatever i want and hes just so happy to be holding me and has wanted this for so long. i was like absolutely shocked still because i couldnt believe he liked me too and had for a while. he was so absolutely so sweet, but was so scared that its going to ruin things and i completely loose him as a friend but i was 100% comfortable and even leaned in to kiss him first and it was off from there. after kissing me, he said “you have no idea how long i’ve wanted to do that”. we kissed and cuddled the whole night and he was so fucking hot. he straight up tossed me to the other side of the bed. omg.

it was so sweet. the next morning we still were able to banter and tease each other. we did have to walk out the room and talk to all of our friends just knowing we got together and were dying for info, but i still didnt know what i entirely thought and didnt want to kiss and tell. i walked out to the patio with all the girls and they excitedly asked "omg what happened, SPILL" and i said "nothing happened, okay not nothing happened, something happened, just not everything", but i did tell them it was just like a sweet and wholesome night. like he seems to like me so much and has been just waiting to let me know and he said something like "you had to have felt something at the 4th of july party too" so it wasnt just in my head and he felt that too, and i would love to date him like proper bf/gf but i am so scared ill lose him and ruin the friend group and everything is going to go wrong.

but he drove me back home and we got dunkin on our way, and said he was going to take me to work too but i was like no way itll take me like 20 min to get ready, ill just get an uber. and he was like, nope i have nothing else to do, ill wait and im dropping you off. so i showered and got ready. i had to cover a hickey, and it was my first one bc i always say dont give me a hickey but he gave me a little one anyway. when i came back out to the car i gave him a hard time that he's not allowed to give me hickies bc im simply not good enough at makeup to cover them up, and he joked that its not worst than my birthmark on the other side of my neck.

he dropped me off right in front of my work and i gave him a kiss goodbye and he said something and i said "youre too sweet". i was reeling my entire shift trying to pros/cons whether its a good idea to pursue this. on my pros/cons list, at first all i wrote under both columns "its max". i see my therapist on wednesday and hopefully she can help me sort through this. i finished the pros/cons and both sides are pretty full. i think next time we see each other, well have a real talk about this and i think i want to like a trial period and like try going on a proper date and couple-ly things and if that goes well then actually date officially. i want to take the romantic mushy things slow so we have time to navigate. and have an easy out/get out of jail free card at any point so we dont feel stuck and call it off if things feel weird or mess with the friend group or arent compatible, etc.

honestly in hindsight, some things kinda add up that it was probably him liking me not just normal friends. also im pretty sure he'd totally told allison he like me and theyre in cahoots. i want this so bad, but im so scared to lose him. ugh i am loosing my mind over this, and being away from him and having to think if this is going to ruin everything is putting my stomach in loop. it feels so natural with him. this feels so cliche and sweet that its like something out of a sitcom.

like thinking about it, we make a lot of sense together. both have been through fucked up shit and can relate and joke about it with each other. were outdoorsy and talk about moving out into the middle of the woods. we are extraverted but if we run out of social battery were totally done. hes talked so sweetly about wanting a wife and doing everything he can to love and protect her and make her happy, its so precious. hes truly such a sweetheart. this is gonna kill me

[vangbelsing]

So we're all pretty well acquainted with that face Emmrich makes if you tell him he's your first ever partner, but I don't think we talk enough about how, as he looks away and once he's worked through that first wave of initial shock, he smiles. It's a slow, small little thing, but his eyes grow so soft. His features just become so tender. The man is radiating affection. He's not off put, he's not upset or disappointed. Nervous, perhaps; anxious to make sure your first experience with a relationship isn't some catastrophic failure. But he's also charmed by the admission. This is a man who's so utterly gaga for romance and love. The idea that his partner has never found anyone else compelling enough to pursue until him? Whatever sense of worry he might feel at what a lack of experience might imply, he still finds himself smitten with the notion that someone would value him in such a way.

[aardvaark]

the leverage team would have had a games night… once. everyone cheated so much and in such increasingly extreme ways that all mentions of monopoly are banned in their headquarters (this makes talking about marks who monopolize the market very confusing)

[stefisdoingthings]

silence

also this is from Wolfwood's POV (in case it isn't clear) i have 0 normal thoughts (every song ever is VW)

[sexygayvampire]

hey does anyone else ever think about archon!dorian and lose their minds

[chrliekclly]

tbh i cant do this anymore

[moeitsu]

I have some things to say…

I’m biting his shoulders, kissing on his neck, dragging my fingers down the muscle of his back, I’m squeezing his ass and trapping him in my legs—I’m moaning in his ear, panting against his mouth, drooling over his lips….

[raelyn-dreams]

I think one of my favorite things about UNDEAD willl always be Kaoru Not Getting The Memo.

Like.

Only one smiling on the Destruction Road album cover.

First ! Era 5 Star isn't in the UNDEAD uniform.

The only UNDEAD member to not regularly wear earrings.

His center event song and vibe are completely different from the others and without any purple in the card.

Kaoru also:

Is the only monolingual one in UNDEAD (made a separate post about it here)

Is the only UNDEAD member who couldn't play an instrument (except for middle-school-level recorder) until !! Era.

During Halloween, instead of a traditional monster like the rest of UNDEAD (vampire, werewolf, Frankenstein), he was a "sexy priest".

Is the only UNDEAD member whose center event didn't release in November (releasing in June instead).

Is the only one who didn't want to initially join/be associated with UNDEAD.

He really is the "human" one of UNDEAD and it's so funny and interesting to me.

[casualavocados]

Why do you always use that to piss me off? ...It makes me happy. We agreed that I'm in charge of the bars. But you come here all the time to watch me. How am I supposed to lead my people? Use your head, okay? Suit yourself. What's the matter? Chen Yi. Chen Yi! [...] Don't make me worry.

Chen Bowen as CHEN YI & Chiang Tien as AI DI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)

[petrichormore]

Ngl I kinda feel bad for tr!bbh at this point. Despite being an immortal demon who’s only around for the entertainment, he is still capable of forming attachments even if they’re shallow. He seems to consider tr!pili and tr!pili his friends, but whenever they talk about him to other people he is never their friend. The two of them go around claiming that the other person is the only one they can rely on meanwhile they’re both relying on Bad constantly like bro he’s trying to help you why is he catching strays

It’s like. He’s let himself be a bit less Normal and Mortal around them and they seem to have decided that it means they no longer have to consider how he might feel. Just today tr!Pili was like “oh yeah I love Pangi but I don’t care that much about Bad, I wouldn’t be sad if he died” LIKE. HE DOESN’T THINK THAT WAY ABOUT YOU????? HE SHOWED UP TODAY LIKE “THEY ATTACKED OUR BOY” HE CLEARLY STILL CARES?????? WHY ARE WE TREATING HIM LIKE DIRT????????

[shinelikethunder]

*holds Dean Winchester up by the scruff of the neck* listen, it's not that i think bottoming would fix him--his problems and disorders are way too far gone for that--but i do think that getting artfully maneuvered into trying it by the only other human on earth with a hope of understanding all his goddamn hangups, only to discover that he's been a winner of the "body wired to experience earth-shattering prostate orgasms" lottery this entire time, all while Sam oh-so-solemnly insists it doesn't have to Mean Anything about anyone's masculinity, lots of guys etc etc etc, and manages to radiate only moderate levels of smugness about the whole incident--

well, i simply think that even if that wouldn't fix him, it would either give him a vigorous shake and a ready-made excuse ("fuck it, why look a gift pleasure button in, uh, whatever orifice it came with?") to let a whole bunch of shit go, or it would drive him into even more insane depths of overcompensation. and either way, the Study That Man Like A Bug girlies get to feast.

[sangrefae]

hey guys i don't know if you know this but focusing on a disabled character's fragility and weakness as something sexy is kind of ableist. it's incredibly ableist actually. especially when you have a weird emphasis on how helpless he is and how his love interest could so easily do anything they wanted to him. did you know this. It's important to me that you know this

[the-crooked-library]

what I learned from season 2 of IWTV is that a distressingly large amount of people cannot tell the difference between a consensual BDSM dynamic and assault/abuse, nor do they know anything about how kink actually works

it’s not unhealthy for Armand to be submissive or delve into maître/slave kink dynamics. in fact it’s something people do to explore and get past their traumas all the time irl. additionally, he is like five times older and more powerful than Louis, he wasn’t being forced to do anything, nor could Louis ever actually force him. the kink was probably the healthiest aspect of their relationship, what fucked them over was a jumble of commitment issues, a lack of trust, and eventual murder - which is something that would cause problems in any relationship ever, no matter how vanilla.

the Point of the tragedy is that they were on the precipice of something happy, but Louis hesitated for too long and Armand couldn’t recognize when he was loved, and the kink had nothing to do with it, for fuck’s sake. Louis wasn’t abusive and it’s not bad or wrong for Armand to want to be a sub -

[butterflysonnets]

absolutely insane that mike literally p a n i c k e d when will was like "well what about us?" because will wasn't even really making things gay he was honest to god just inquiring about the state of their estranged friendship and wondering why mike didn't make time to talk to him when they're supposed to be best friends but MIKE was the one having an aneurysm like "🏳��‍🌈⁉️ W H AT!!"

“WE'RE FRIENDS” “i know mike” “WE'RE!!! F R I E N D S!!” “right so why don't you call me — ” “I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND” “… that in no way answers my question"

[zehl0w]

Mfw both of the guys you have a crush on start holding hands at school

[willowser]

every single day i think about the influence touya would have had on shouto as an older brother.

he has to take him everywhere he goes, so they're always jamming to the same hardcore music in touya's shitty car. shouto, obviously, develops a taste for the same bands, same songs. shouto is also in the ride-along to buy cigarettes and beer at midnight, and touya threatens his whole entire life if he tells rei, but shouto would never because he likes going too much.

shouto 100% would attempt to kick the ass of anyone that talked shit to his brother. little string bean, doesn't matter, this little boy is throwing HANDS for touya, and touya very much has the attitude of "no one can fuck with my little brother but me". whenever shouto gets in trouble for doing something he shouldn't be doing, touya is always taking the fall for him, no questions asked. shouto lies for touya like it's second nature.

shouto wants an earring because of touya, and touya probably GIVES the piercing to him, which makes enji blow a gasket. touya learns to play the drums and then shouto wants to, too — though he ends up being better than touya and touya promptly quits after that. touya teaches him to drive. shouto gets drunk for the first time with touya BECAUSE touya wants to be there to take care of him. they hate each other, they get into fist fights all the time, rolling around the house as fuyumi screams at both of them. they're best friends. they understand each other more than anyone else ever could.