#god...........
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the cancer journals – audre lorde
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thinking about li lianhua getting rid of fang duobing in episode 16 and how similar that argument must have felt to his argument with shan gudao before he died . thinking about the guilt on his face as fang duobing walked away
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Well, saw a therapist today. Turns out she has my chronic illness and shed some light on what my next steps should be besides "lifestyle changes". Why am I surprised that my doctor was, once again, useless in this journey.
I fucking hate this body, I'm gonna be honest. Taking care of all of the issues, with a new one practically popping up every month, is a nightmare. And it feels like a full time job.
But it's a full time job that COSTS MONEY, and doesn't even get me any money!
I CAN'T EVEN STAY FUCKING HYDRATED.
#butchy babbles#vent#uuuuuUuuuggGG GGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH#how the hell am i supposed to even live with this body. i can barely take care of it just by itself!!!#i don't know how people with my illness do it#maybe i'll grow used to it#i just hope that when i actually develop my illness (since i'm technically subclinical rn) and can get on meds it'll go away#but i actually don't know if that's how it works... and i'm terrified to find out. that's the one thing that's been giving me hope#what if i'm stuck like this forever? what if i'm never normal again? ever again?#god...........
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drunk again, thinking abt how love is undying
#had a rly good chat w my grandma yesterday at the cafe she took me to#abt her late husband#she accepts my spirituality is wiccan but i ovc dont dissuade her from talking abt christianity#the way she describes heaven as not a place but a feeling#one where ur known#no words spoken#she spoke w a man who lost his wife but the love never died with her#god...........#love isnt physical it IS a feeling#love and heaven are two in the same and thats so beutiful to me#how ppl expect u to get over grief like its the flu#how the grief is just as permanent as the love#life just grows around both#so beautiful#i hope i can put that love into nearly as lovely words some day#u can see love in the eyes.... oh how she could see it in his eyes#i hope my bf can see the love in mine
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catching up with dungeon meshi and mithrun & kabru (and senshi) talking about vegetable scraps (and how they can still grow new sprouts) kinda makes me cry..............
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I JUST SPRAYED THE THING FOR MY EAR AND GOD I WANT TO KILL MYSELF
#sunflower rambles#I HATE THINGS IN MY EARS GRAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#not to mention how it's an oily substance#god...........
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listening to the original production of bigger than the whole sky already makes me want to cry, if i heard her singing it live on a PIANO i would be straight up sobbing
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if it's such a hassle and brings you no joy then why even bother giffing pedro stuff? I see you and a couple other Pedro posters complain like it's a job/obligation pretty often and I don't get it. you don't HAVE to gif everything, you can just do what you want. if you're burnt out you don't have to do anything at all. is a couple thousand notes really worth it?
i will ask this very seriously: baby girl, have you ever talked to people in real life? 😭😭😭
i've just said that i'm super tired and that he ended me with his new shoot (in the good way). i guess it's a strange concept to people but exaggeration can be funny fdkjnvdkjnvfdv
#anonymous#i'm sorry but some of y'all need to try to develop some kind of sense of humor 😩#i deadass re-read my text post and i do NOT complain about gif'ing pedro#i just said that i'm tired and that he ended me vkjdfvkdjvkfjd#god...........
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went back to look at videos i took last night to see if i caught my y/n moment on camera....... not only did i catch it but IT WAS DURING REINCARNATE
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sean finnerty. woagh.
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To the lighthouse, Virginia Woolf
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this happened months ago. i cannot keep it in any longer. a while ago i went on a porn site ive never been to and it asked if i was over 18 and i misclicked and said no and it automatically sent me to google images of puppies and kittens. i still cannot get over how funny this is.
#i literally think about it every time i go to a spicy site#oh god is this gonna be my legacy#plz i make gifs and stuff i have much cooler posts than this#1k#10k
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Love it when Rolling Stone puts out an article about the 25 most influential internet creators and I've only heard of 7 of them
#kai rambles#god i feel old#but im not old#im 24#but im looking at this list like who are any of you?#why did this get 60k notes
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PROOF IN CASE YOU NEED IT
UPDATE:
I put this in my reblogs but I’m going to attack this to the main post.
TRUMP HIMSELF DIDN’T CHEAT BUT SOMEONE DEFINITELY TAMPERED WITH THE ELECTION RESULTS.
^
Made by the amazing @the-gay-prometheus (genuinely thank you for saying this)
#destiel#november 5th#us politics#fuck trump#I usually have awful reach but for the love of GOD let this catch on
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the definition of aura
update: choose your fighter
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