#god they make me sick. fucking hell
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thinking about caleb and veth. thinking about this line. crying. thinking about caleb and veth. thinking about this line. crying. thinking about caleb and veth. thinking about this line. crying. thinking ab
#their friendship means so much to me and also destroys me#the way caleb dedicated himself to making sure she could have her body back again even if it meant ensuring he would have to let her go#it was them against the world for so long#but she had a life and a family to get back to#one that she lost but had the chance to get back if he could manage to give it to her#and how could he deprive her of that when he so desperately wanted it for himself and knew the pain of never being able to get it so well#god they make me sick. fucking hell#they mean so much to me they make me want to sob their story is so beautiful their story is so heartbreaking#congratulations liam and sam for making me fucking insane over them#widobrave#caleb widogast#veth brenatto#nott the brave#wizardposting#c2#the mighty nein
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Fuck you Endeavor. Fuck you All For One. Fuck you to all the Pro-Heroes. Fuck the Hero Society and FUCK YOU HORIKOSHI too 🥰
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#mha#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha 426#mha 426#fuck endeavor#— ❥ kelrambles;#am i pissed?? HELL YEAH. am i sad?? FUCK YEAH. I AM FUCKING CRYING FOR FUCK SAKE—#ahhhh i am so done with horikoshi istg… SO. DONE.#always killing off the characters who more than anyone in this god forsaken manga deserved to be happy#the hero society haven’t got better AT ALL#the same toxic shit all over again that promotes so much toxicity it makes me VOMIT#excusing the abusers and crucifying the victims OHH I AM SO FUCKING SICK TO MY STOMACH#been hurling so bad at the last few chapters because tf?????#like… i’m sorry today’s chapter was… nice (at most) only because touya got to have a last talk with his mother and siblings…#but other than that???? hope horikoshi steps on a lego hits the corners of every furniture with his toe EVERYWHERE he goes#and most of all???? that in this scorching weather both sides of his pillow are WARM AS FUCK#honestly… just like shigaraki’s chapter this chapter felt RUSHED as hell too…#especially after how much horikoshi have been staying behind the todorokis as a family…#idk these last chapters just don’t make sense to me…
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moon n ballora
#my art#daycare attendant#dca fandom#moondrop#ballora#sorry to all the sl fans who r sick of hearing about the daycare attendant HFJSJGKDJG#anyway its real funny how i can draw the dca at a side view fairly well but ballora? fucking impossible#i wanted to keep it more in line w/ her canon design bc then otherwise moon would look weird but UGHHH i did NOT draw her well#this drawing is like. roughly a month old by now? but i wanted to post something#i havent been drawing as much bc of art block hell!!!!!! so if posts r slower thats why#i did go through my hundreds of drafts to put some posts in the queue though so those will be going for roughly 2 months at the current rat#theres still... a lot of posts in my drafts though... oops#also. did you guys hear that theyre making a whole ass dca pin set#the dca is like the perfect cash cow of merch now. pisses me off a little ngl HFJZJFKSJG#gonna be fun to see them release product after product as the masses go crazy over it again and again#im being kind of negative i know but. god#im honestly just posting this as an excuse to rant about it without making a whole post for it HFKZJFKD#i fucking knew this was gonna happen but man! it still sucks#anyway uhh if youre gonna buy merch buy fanmade stuff and bootlegs instead!#be aware of where your money is going!#... that's all i'll say about it
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Thinking about how the entire reason Zane went along with Wu was to try to find out more about his past. Thinkinggg about how he reached his true potential after finding his father's workshop. A big chunk of his character arc in s2 focused on how badly having no family left affected him. Then he found out how father was alive and he was sooo happy... and then his father died. And then Zane died too.
#alek insanity#ninjago#zane julien#dr julien erasing zane's memories the first time he died and practically giving him a new life -> zane ending his own life once his father#died a second time is something that's in constant brain rotation. zane's sacrifice was an act of suicide#“oh. but he needed to defeat the overlord” he found an opportunity and took it. season 3 he was constantly putting himself in harms way#even though it was completely unnecessary. kinda crazy about none of the ninja knowing how fucked up he was about his dad's death#rewatching s2 like... damn zane doesnt make it another year ! and how these are the teams last interactions before everything falls apart#s3 had lloyd off doing his own thing. the love triangle threw a wrench in things. and then zane died and s4 is them picking up the pieces#guhh the period of time where zane really was dead and how messed up the ninja were. especially kai#“it shouldve been me” and it snowed at zanes funeral when kai gave the speech and he became an alchoholic#what the hell !!! whatttt the hell !!!#when zane sakd “IM GLAD YOU MADE ME” OHHH MY GOD OHHHHH MY GOD IM SICK#rant over
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man
#maybe im being pessimistic abt this. im not saying u should wear a mask every waking moment of your life god knows i cant#but also. hell no i dont trust u if anything i distrust u ppl even more after how things played out for the past 3 years#like there are situations where it might be inevitable catching covid. most of my family members are nurses and in constant contact#but there are also a ton of ways to make that risk low as possible like masking and wearing a face shield and having sanitizer#for me its not enough to just say oh we're in a small group and we're all vaccinated#motherfucker your kid is sick from preschool EVERY TIME WE VISIT. of course ill be wearing a mask she gave me covid last year#also no the fuck it isnt seasonal the cases go up because lack of caution makes the virus spread and mutate especially around times when#ppl gather. add that with virus transmission in cold weather and its a matter of different factors increasing the risk of spread#im also tired of ppl not understanding that i wont be their responsibility if i do get sick. maybe they can help me recover#but at the end of the day the risk of death and long term health is all on me. i cant change that#the govt barely gives me accommodations what makes u think theyll do anything for every individual case of long covid or worse#im so tired. im so tired#i dont even know if its possible to want this to be over anymore i just wish we didnt have to deal with this in the first place#ALSO COUGH INTO YOUR SLEEVE SERIOUSLY HOW IS THIS SO HARD TO REMEMBER#oh its just a cold/dry throat its not like i have covid or anything. no!! its basic hygiene!!! how is this so hard to understand!!!!!!!!!!#and no this isnt abt whether people have the means to protect themselves this is me bitching abt my relatives not taking me seriously#vent#my art#myart#doodles#covid 19
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one i find like. ridiculously funny is that most of the time when I see brody and sky's pony and johnny, i'm like "best friends :)" but when I see trevor and sky's pony and johnny i'm like "hm... smth gay is going on"
#IDEK WHY LMAO ITS SO FUNNY TO ME#what makes this even funnier is that after we saw the show my mom said 'johnny was singing to pony like they were More than best friends'#LIKE??? IT WAS SO FUNNY TO HERE FROM AN ALMOST GEN X STRAIGHT AS HELL WOMAN LMAO#anyways. I said gay and I said gay#like trevor at the end of great expectations was so soft when he was singing and staring at Johnny#“you fight just to show them that ur not all the same the under the covers there's more” IT WAS SO SWEET#and don't even talk to me abt faft or damd or stay gold or ANYTHINNGGGGG :(#or during the rumble when pony sees johnny or when johnny dies like. oh my fucking GOD#watching trevor's pony mourn Johnny in the scene before stay gold genuinely made me feel sick to my stomach it was so. raw and real#like it felt like such a real genuine grief i couldn't fucking handle it oh my god. SICK AND TWISTED TREVI IS#trevor wayne#sky lakota lynch#brody grant#the outsiders musical#pbj#johnnyboy#pb&j
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charlie's daddy issues atm are my favoriteworst thing ever. the charlastor potential makes me nuts but also LUCIFER WHEN I GET YOU LUCIFER WHEN I GET YOU
#'i have created Hell's Princess' you fucked up a perfectly good daughter is what you did. look at her. she's got daddy issues#but charlastor oh my god#'what's that you said about smiles?' 'good girl!' i am going to dive into a ravine.#charlastor drives me insane the shit you could do w them alone#something something the room for horrific potential in charlie starving‚ just a little‚ for that love and praise and alastor—OF ALL PEOPLE#—dedicating himself to give that to her#the corruption arc would be INSANE and i'd love 2 see a charlie fully realized in her capabilities#in her kindness‚ but also the base violence she's willing to enact for change#anyways. they make me sick#charlastor
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rant in tags about perscription medication and withdrawals
continued here bc i reached tag limit and i'm still??
it's kinda scary tbh
like i was scared for years now of what would happen off my meds and
when i tried tapering off my antidepressants oof i was breaking down every day and now i /know/ i'm dependant on them and idk if that's better or worse
and with the antipsychotics it's like i thought they were helping my depression too bc when tapering off i was also so panicked and depressed (tho my situation is kinda stressful rn)
but idk i've been trying meds on and off for half my life now and most of the time i'm like 🤷
but the truth is
it's fucking scary how it messes with your body
it's fucking scary when you're dependant on a pill
OR ALSO
when pills fuck your body up to the point you can only eat one thing
bc that's the reason i'm going off the antipsychotics and guess what, i'm able to eat more again now
idk if it's just in combination with the hormon pill tbh i'm just going off both now and we'll see how my iron levels and migrains deal lmao
i feel like i can't think straight anymore
gonna have to get new docs anyway so we'll see what they say if(/when) i go anemic again or if going off the antipsychotics will actually fix the issue??
if so, then it'll be like how did this sneak up on me, i've been taking them for 2.5 years like
??
and now i've lost 20lbs despite trying everything to maintain or gain some the past year and a half and i'm at my lowest weight since i was like a preteen lol
and that's all bc of a med that didn't feel like it had an acute effect
or maybe i'm so removed from my body i didn't notice until i got the acute gastritis ??
i mean i can't even be sure its the meds or not until i'm off
and tapering the rest off is gonna be so fun fuck
i dont wanna
i wanna be able to eat more than bread i guess but at this point the thought just scares me and like i associate it with pain and nausea
which as long as i can manage it is fine
but i've only tapered off half, i still have to taper off the other half of the dosage 😭
and with the hormon pill gone again the worst menstrual pain will be back and idk how to manage that, i guess hopefully with the meds gone i won't go anemic again but who knows at this point??
also praying my migraines don't come back but uh... i am pessimistic. i don't have much hope
anyway
moral of the story.....
ALWAYS MAKE SURE TO TAPER OFF YOUR MEDS KIDS BC EVEN JUST TAPERING IS SCARY AND GOING COLD CHICKEN IS PROBABLY HELL
doctors can be annoying (and make things harder, like in my case bc i literally asked if it could be my current meds MONTHS ago, and everyone was like noooooo but guess who was RIGHT) sometimes BUUUUT you should listen to them avout certain things
like
tapering off meds
#it's insane how strong meds can affect you#everyone was telling me “oh that's a strong one” and giving me concerned looks#and i was just like *shrugs*#bc i didn't notice a daily change whatsoever#beside the fact that i slept a bit better#less dreams#and like sleeping more than 5h on average#and well no debilitating migraines where i can't move#but like#no side effects#no making me feel numb or drowsy or anything#but tapering off of them???#the withdrawals???#OH MY FUCKING GOD#i feel like o'm crazy#and it stopped so abruptly#i'm like??? is it- was i sick? was it smth else?#it is the stress maybe#but no exacctly at the same time i now am back to not sleeping and the dreams are back#like those withdrawals#jfc#i felt basically bed ridden for a week#it's a wonder i only cried myself to sleep 1 singular time#tho that's probably the added stress#but like fucking hell#i was so sleepy and weak and couldn't even use my phone it was too much???#and suddenly like clock struck 12 yesterday and i've been alert evver since#my sleeping pattern from before the meds is back#i'm still weak bc i can't eat like normal but i am eating a bit more#ignore me
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So I just watched “For our daughters” and holy shit.
As someone who grew up in the church and is familiar with the topics it’s absolutely enraging, disgusting, and fueling to watch.
It really gives perspective on the toxicity and misogynist behavior of the church.
youtube
remember ladies!! You do not bow down to man! You are nobody’s inferior!! God made you to be an equal to men, not just to satisfy your husband + give birth to babies.
#ugh this pisses me off so much#I felt sick watching it#But thank God it’s being brought to the surface#Why the hell does “righteous” men twist Gods word ??? The fucking mistranslation too oml.#THEY ADDED WORDS TO THE BIBLE.#IN THE ORIGINAL HEBREW TEXT IT SAYS “The wife is to be equal to her husband” NOT FUCKING “Too submit to him”#fucks sake man#ugh#i could yap forever#It makes me enraged#christianity#church#Youtube
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Thinking abt how when you rebrain Clem he basically ignores Raz and the only thing he says is Crystals name as he runs off to find her
#god it makes me so fucking sick#I think abt their relationship a lot#idk if I rlly ship em romantically but their relationship is so so important to me#and like he’s basically the only camper to just straight not rlly say anything to Raz#like hell Milka says a couple of things and she doesn’t even refer to Raz by his name#cosmic chatz#psychonauts
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This is the spiritual successor to Four Seasons Landscaping. To me.
#the political career of rishi sunak over the past two years is something that is absolutely fascinating to me#mans kicks off the mass resignation of virtually everyone of relevance in the johnson government just for a shot at power#manages to climb over everybody else in the leadership campaign; loses at the last hurdle to liz truss#(the human embodiment of a soggy ball of iceberg lettuce you left in your fridge and forgot about)#when truss’s premiership imploded he was right there to… further cock things up?#his highlights include hiring back a cabinet minister who had literally been fired the previous day#after 18 months; his party finally got sick enough of him violently hydroplaning down the highway to hell that they threatened him#with a vote of no-confidence#so he went out in the rain and went straight to charles iii of all people to ask him to dissolve parliament. as you do#and called a general election WHILE STILL IN THE RAIN and while the most unserious music imaginable played in the background#because i guess he thought ‘if i’m going down i’m bringing all of you with me’ ?????#knowing that unless something absolutely bananas happens; he is essentially handing over the country to keir starmer mind you#and then today someone placed him in front of a morrisons sign in such a way that his big head makes the sign look like it says ‘moron’#and photographed him as such. i’m obsessed. no notes#i will not miss this idiot but i can’t say i haven’t been entertained. because i have#i’m like genuinely impressed with how much the tories have managed to fuck up in so many different ways#to be honest ever since david cameron resigned and walked off humming; nothing has been normal here#i mean things were bad before that but good god#personal
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ENIES LOBBY PART 2 BABY
The last look... like Orpheus to Euridice I'm going to be sick... also how they keep evading each other... they crossed each other in town and now they can't even cross glances.....
I can't do this anymore I'm not making it out of here you guys... I'm going to die all dried up in my bed like a mummy.... I'm just realising how similar luffy and Robin are and how unlucky she got in comparison but luffy reached her in the end... and now they're family 😭😭😭 anyways now to the sbs if I can read through my tears my god. Robin spent the rest of her life running from the government and in hiding just for a minute of contact with her mother. Like are you seeing this. And luffy would do it too. Fuck it is that not what marineford was??
Have I ever talked about how robin holds her mother's hand and her power (most of it for now) is manifesting hands out of thin air? It's like she can make need for connection manifest physically. That makes me feel so normal and emotionally stable
Look at these fucking freaks... also usopp who was the one who told robin to trust luffy burning down the flag because luffy told him to do it for robin... are you seeing this???
Luffy manager and assistant manager
Sanji is so scared of women look at him...
Look at his stupid face. What the fuck is that.
Her alpha pheromones have him ovulating right now. Look at this
Luffy is very dumb but look at the extreme he is willing to go for her friends. Just throwing himself into the rough sea. Thank god a child and her pet are out there to save him ajdkajsks
Was she... was she in the tub with kalifa.... fighting????
IS SHE LOOKING FOR THE STRAP???? THATS SEXUAL HARASSMENT!!
okay... normal reaction I guess
Sanji has never looked more pathetic I love it
Kalifa wants Nami's full attention.... wonder why that is... *pussy shot*
You know this is actually the building of a beautiful relationship
Look how frank approves of nami and her lesbianism... he's so supportive ❤️
He always has something cool to say... also zoro I saw your approving smile... you can't hide from me
Zoro couldn't say what he thought to usopp but sanji could do it here.... usopp needs to heart it so bad
I hollered so hard when I saw this for the first time... that is such a slay sanji.... luffy and zoro have fuck all to say when they beat someone so sanji gets all the one liners (also sanji is a demon and zoro is the king of hell there is zosan everywhere for those with the eyes to see)
It's fascinating to me that zoro says sorry here. What is going on inside that head. Like in recent developments (egghead) we can see they can be friendly but.... sorry for what....
Robin going from not trusting the crew, to protecting them because she sees her own life worthless and values theirs, to trusting them and their love to know they will save her... 🥺🥺
Gear 5 in gear 2 tease (no)
He is like the sun and he doesn't even fear the gods. Okay. Who made the people who wrote these reasons into prophets.
Oh my god. One piece water seven is so old that the world population was 5 billion.
This is so funny. "I love nami and robin" Does he makes cakes like that sometimes with things written on them. A cake with nami looks beautiful today. Another one with robin is very intelligent. Just for the fun of it I guess
This to me is CRAZY btw. Let me explain. I get it here it makes sense but he says the same thing about ace in thriller bark. And then after time skip he is back to this and he should be TERRIFIED. In my opinion at least. Knowing his friends is all he has left and they could die at any minute if he slips up or isn't quick enough to save them? Or did he understand that ace saved him. Still ace died (not saying this is true) to protect him because he wasn't strong enough or because he didn't get there quick enough.
Are they stupid??? Arkham games reddit referenced one piece that's so cool....
I thought I could finish enies lobby with one post.... welp....
#i forgot how into her weather forecasting was nami in her fight with kalifa.. i only remembered the homoeroticism and not that much#sanji coming in to save his babygirl (usopp) ❤️#oda was like “nami beat kalifa but cant move a finger to save usopp. thats for sanji to do. enough feminism for today ❤️”#diable jambe is thay bitch... that was such a slay... also sanji said it might be even demonic and then zoro with his king of hell shit....#the fucking one gorilla two gorilla.... that killed me....#franky flabbergasted to see luffy in gear 2... yeah...#robin believing in them is believeing in herself and her life too this is making me sick... shitting crying throwing up etc#the same way living for herself is living for ohara... enough....#I FORGOR ABOUT USOPP SNIPING SPANDEX OMG!!!! WHAT A SLAY!!! again so important since he told robin to trust luffy etc#AND FRANKYYYYYYYY!!! i did remember this one that pose is so iconic.... just as he stopped the water train... my god#the usopp fake out death when they hit the tower of law is so funny ajdhksj their faces... usopp saying they are crazy a second before it..#the buster call not targeting robin because of aokiji.... does he value her info or her??? like he sure as hell was going for the kill#omg vivi cover art after alabasta.... hello....#franky making robin realise she is not alone just never gets old... and franky saying he can get behind them rescuing her no matter what...#reading one piece#enies lobby
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aaghh I hate health anxiety ocd (or whatever you call it), it's literally doing nothing other than contributing to make my health worse
... wait actually, does anyone have like, tips/advice for that kind of thing? I really think I need some help with this one
#i (ai)#ocd#vent cw#I also have like severe decision paralysis + procrastination issues so that's great#like. being so scared that i have to choose for something to eat that is nutritious&healthy AND affordable AND eatable#that i delay my eating by many hours every other day (+ combined with many other reasons like general awful schedule)#is not in fact the amazing health plan my instincts apparently think it is for some baffling reason. fucking hell#I consistently have all sorts of digestive system issues and I'm plenty underweight. tbh my adhd meds prob also dont help with this part#....on that note I have severe anxiety with spending money (which I have very little of) too. lmao. just great#during the lockdown years my contamination ocd spiked very badly and it still hadn't fully recovered now#and it was/is really godawful harmful for my physical and mental health alike. like this was worse before but even now it really screws wit#my hydration habits. also its always my top consideration/anxiety to think about 'god would the toilet hygiene be bad'#whenever theres any option for me to go anywhere. so I avoided nearly every possible activity/event/social event I could avoid#that require leaving home for half a day or more. and I freak out badly whenever anyone comes to our home to visit for fear of contaminatio#some family friends used to send kids over to our place for dinner montly-ish & that was always my worst anxiety source for the month#I always dreaded the night terribly and it was awful experience. urgh.#gdi I wish I had less types of ocds like why am I cursed with so many annoying things at once lmao#...anyway ugh. i hate how my parents is about me getting sick/ill/any sort of pains etc. always jump to blame me at once#now I don't even want to tell them about it but I have to and they'll often force me to do chores as usual and/or never stop talking about#how it's so totally my fault for having awful schedules and bad habits etc that I'm sick & that I'm making excuses or whatever the fuck#that i'm an adult its my responsibility etc etc#anyway sorry and thank you if you've read this far lmao
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I CANNOT POST THAT MESSAGE BUT JESUS H FUCKING CHRIST
#this man makes me feral and he knows it and he likes to push my buttons#FUCK#uhm he just said he’s having to stop himself from laughing out loud and i feel fucking sick#and he’s also talking about fucking with me while other people are in the room with him#i’m going to fucking die#fucking please#holy fucking shit#i can feel the heat on my face#god fucking damn fucking hell#ender.txt#🖕posting
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Say what you will about the Cyrano movie (and one day I'll be able to in a halfway articulate manner), but I am still mildly obsessed with "Every Letter", and I think about this ending couplet all the time...
Your letters are drawings on me from above I know who you are and I know you are loved
Just... the idea of Cyrano and Christian receiving a letter in return from Roxanne and feeling their breath catch both with ecstasy and with bitter regret.
I know who you are...
But she can't. But she mustn't. But it would break her heart--she would never trust them again. But it wouldn't be fair to Christian. But Cyrano could never show his face again. But they already feel themselves burn under her gaze, and to meet it honestly without the armor of a soldier, of these letters, would scorch them until nothing remains. But the only true honor is to hide, even if they know it's really the coward's way out. But the only safety (if they were being brutally honest with themselves) is to hide.
... and I know you are loved.
But God, they wish they didn't have to.
#It's four thirty in the morning and I have been slam-dunked back into Cyrano Hell...#Listen okay ever since the movie introduced the idea of *Roxanne actually writing back* I have been even less normal about these idiots.#The imagery is so fucking delicious either way because you get to imagine either the two of them sitting close enough together#that they can both read either together or over the other's shoulder and just... occupying that space together the two nearly becoming one#and I get to lose my mind over the proximity and the warmth between them forged in the fire of their love for Roxanne.#OR *or or*... the two of them taking turns reading and just *watching* the other's face as they read trying to glean from their expressions#what she might have said and the intensity of that study becoming its own terrible intimacy that right now they can only show through proxy#and I *also* get to lose my mind over Cyrano watching Christian and musing that even if his partner might look like a marble statue#he's never seen a marble statue make that face before but he's *definitely* seen it from Roxanne and it's just as coronary-inducing on both#and Christian watching Cyrano and musing that this might be the closest he'll ever come to seeing the pride of the cadets#and the mythic figure he's built around himself completely *shatter* if only for a moment... he's *human* and he's *exquisite.*#CANNOT be normal about it... it's 'So--here's my heart under your velvet now'--#it's 'I've loved but one (man) in my life and now I must lose him twice'--#it's the darkness of the balcony and the endless sunshine metaphors regarding Roxanne herself--#it's the goddamn Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known and how much Roxanne *craves* it from two men terrified to submit to it...#God these three make me sick I love them so much.#cyrano de bergerac
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people who say death to america have the right idea
#i tried making a list but it became Very Long and i knew i was forgetting things too#but fucking hell. its definitely Never been great but the way things have continuously gotten so much unspeakably worse#and the way we are MAKING THINGS worse for others spending billions upon billions of dollars funding actual fucking genocide#among the other countless horrific things we have either completely enabled or endorsed or outright done by ourselves to the world#actively ruining not only ourselves but also at least half the fucking planet and doing so so very purposefully#people who can actually be proud of living here both terrify me and make me sick#alyalyoxenfree#hope this doesn't get me put on some list god only fucking knows at this point
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