#but charlastor oh my god

[miniagula]

charlie's daddy issues atm are my favoriteworst thing ever. the charlastor potential makes me nuts but also LUCIFER WHEN I GET YOU LUCIFER WHEN I GET YOU

[lunchtimebedamned1997]

New Hazbin Painting WIP

~Summertime Edition~

Literally only Charlie's base lineart is done LMAO wish me luck (And I still have to add line weight to her - send help XD)

I'm very proud of Charlie's hoofsies :3 I also almost never do Actual Lineart™ so this is an adventure haha

[urproblematicfav-ao3]

The only valid radiobelle dynamic is Alastor assuming Charlie is some innocent little baby who is too stupid to understand what's happening when in reality she's a fucking freak✨ HEY AL, WHATS THAT ABOUT NO ONE KNOWING YOUR INTENTIONS IF YOUR SMILEY AND CUTE???? YOU'RE FALLING FOR IT DUMBASS.

Also funfact: Alastor struggling with his restraint is a metaphor for me wanting to throw out the pacing of this fic and just have him fuck her immediately. Literally most of this wasn't supposed to happen but I want them to fuck so bad and I'm like, literarily edging myself and coping by having Alastor mentally struggle not to commit some kind of crime on her. I agree Al, having discipline and caring about the narrative sucks when all you want is to cnc roleplay in a church backroom.

[diseaseriddencube]

i haven't seen anyone do it but like, alastor x cecil ????? can we make that a ship, like a platonic ship i just think they'd be really good friends like, they can host a radio show together 😍

[correlance]

Say what you will about the Charlie/Alastor (Charlastor) ship, but my God, the fanfiction "Similing Man" by MuseValentine, which was completed on 3 January 2022, so thoroughly called the following:

Alastor feeling insecure and threatened by Lucifer's power.

Alastor and Lucifer having a Texas stand-off over Charlie.

Alastor being a cocky little shit about it towards Lucifer.

The "oh shit" moment of panic where Alastor realizes that Charlie is the daughter of Lucifer Morningstar, and then Lucifer going "have a seat" in order to intimidate Alastor, is also so hilariously well-written.

Art by SpicyUnicornPowder on Twitter.

Excerpt from Chapters 24-25:

The party was really turning up and he was trying his best to be mindful of the drinks so that not even a drop spilled. Thankfully, Charlie wasn’t too far away, and it looked like her mother had found her once again. Keeping a careful eye on the refreshments in hand, Alastor beelined his way back to her, where she smiled at him once more when he returned to her side.

“Oh, you’re back!” he heard her say, and finally safe and still, he looked up to once more greet Charlie’s lovely mother and engage in a polite conversation with the two ladies.

And that’s when Alastor realised then that there was somebody else with them.

And he froze.

“Alastor, I’d like to introduce you to my father….”

This was impossible.

A cruel twist of fate.

There was no way this could be so.

Alastor wasn’t sure what was going on now, but what he did know was that in the short amount of time since he looked at him, his heart started racing and his tongue went dry, as did a familiar but unsavouring tinge of anxiety hit his guts, causing his nerves to start going off the edge, making him feel like the smile he had on was starting to crack.

Oh, how he must have looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

No. He probably looked more like the night they’d first met when all bloodied and crazed from the high of two kills on that corner in Lafayette.

“…Lucifer Magne.”

Standing before him, short and blonde and dressed from head-to-toe in white in a showman-like fashion, was the Big Apple.

“Have we met before?”

Unfortunately for Alastor, it had to be thrown right at his face.

“No, I don’t believe we have.”

But life was funny like that, wasn’t it?

“Strange,” the man – Lucifer – remarked with a tilt of his head, eyes studying him curiously. “You’re an awful lot familiar. Swear I would have remembered you anywhere.”

The mocking glint in the man’s eyes, watching the way he was bluffing, it all made Alastor’s nerves go on a frenzy while he remained still and stone-faced. The man was bluffing – Alastor was made and he knew it. He knew the stakes that were at hand here for him, considering the circumstances.

“You might have heard of him, Daddy,” Charlie quipped with a smile. “Alastor’s a radio host. A very good one too!”

But under all sorts of circumstances, did it have to be the one where he turned out to be the father of his goddamn neighbour?!

“Oh! I thought you sounded familiar!” Lilith suddenly exclaimed with a clap of her hands. “You’re the one who interviewed our darling for her hotel! Thank you for helping her out with that, by the way!”

While Lilith was somewhat gushing, her husband only quirked an eyebrow in curiosity, although the look in his eyes gave away the indication that it was something he already knew.

“A radio host? My, how interesting,” he said in a tone that seemed marvelled although it was clearly not, turning more questioning as he inquired, “Is there anything else that you do, Mr. Carlon?”

Hearing the question that, without a doubt, held a double meaning behind it, Alastor finally broke out of his stupor and cleared his throat, not realising until then how dry his mouth was.

“Nope, nothing else at all,” he answered the lie as calmly as he could, ignoring the scratchy feeling of the dryness of his mouth. “I’m quite a boring egg outside of work, I’ll say.”

The Big Apple only hummed, which might seem out of being unimpressed if not for the fact that Alastor knew better to realise that’s the bunk and he was truly unconvinced. And why wouldn’t he be? The man had seen for himself what he did outside of work. There was no point lying to him, and it was disconcerting to be standing in front of him feeling so bare despite being decked out in his best suit.

Looking away from the eyes of the Big Apple, he turned to Charlie and handed her drink, taking a sip of his gin-and-tonic to quench the cottony feeling of his tongue, although the burn from the alcohol made him wince slightly.

Over her drink, Charlie eyed him in concern. “Alastor? Are you alright?”

Hearing her concern made his grin widened instantly as if it was reflex. “Oh, yes!” he lied through his teeth, “Just that this here’s some real strong hooch.”

A laugh was forced out of him to cover up that close slip-up of his demeanour, but one quick look at her and suddenly he found it difficult to look at Charlie in the eyes, throwing him off immensely. How the tables have turned considering usually he was the one making her look away. Unnerved once more, Alastor moved his gaze away from her, and this definitely did not escape her notice.

But then Lilith leaned in to look at him with worry. “Oh, goodness. Are you feeling alright? You seem a little flushed.”

Alastor was about to give a quick response of assurance if it wasn’t for the look on Lucifer’s face that cut him short. The blond man was eyeing him carefully, watching his expressions and his movements, the corner of lips tilted up in a smirk as if he was waiting for a slip-up from him.

“Why yes, you do seem quite flushed, my friend. I wouldn’t think a simple gin-and-tonic would have such a bite on you.”

If Alastor hadn’t known any better, he would have thought that he was just poking fun at what seemed like his incapability to hold down his liquor. But he did know better, enough to quickly catch on to the last bit of the sentence that sent his nerves on end for the umpteenth time.  

Against the sinking feeling of his gut, he forced himself to stretch his grin further as he waved a hand in dimissory. “No, I’m fine,” he exclaimed a tad bit louder than he would like. “And this sure is a hooker! Been a while since I’ve had a good drink!”

The liquor did taste good, probably the most top-notch quality that bootlegged could offer. But the taste was soured by this moment, how it was all a farce on Alastor’s part, as much as it may have been for Lucifer, the both of them eyeing each other intently.

And this definitely was noticed by Charlie, who watched them quietly, sensing the building of tension in the air that came from the both of them.

But that tension was broken immediately by Lilith, who seemed to not have noticed the exchange as she was busy looking elsewhere. “Darling, I see that Stolas has just arrived. Goodness, he seemed to have brought that little toy of his instead of his wife! How scandalous.”

For that moment, Lucifer moved his attention away from Alastor, smiling kindly to his frau. “Now, my love, we shouldn’t stick our noses into his business. Let him have his fun. Shall we say our ‘hello’?”

Seeing that this was the end of their little meeting, he moved to his daughter, giving her a kiss on the cheek as he patted her head affectionately, and Charlie preened at this loving fatherly affection. A sight that would have made Alastor glad to see her so happy if it wasn’t for the fact that it was almost unbearable to look at the both of them together now.

And then a hand came to his shoulder in a friendly pat, immediately irking him from being touched but unable to do anything about it. From the corner of his eye, the Big Apple was looking at him with his lips pulled back into that familiar chilling grin, hidden from his wife’s and daughter’s view and given specially to him.

“Relax, my friend,” Lucifer said cheerily, an undertone clearly noted, “Enjoy the party, yes?”

Alastor could only watch as he linked his arm to Lilith’s and walked away. Despite the noise and activity that was going on around him, he felt like he had hit a standstill in time, his mind racing down a trail of spiralling thoughts, unsure of what to think or feel at this moment, amazed yet disturbed that he didn’t know.

”Alastor?”

Charlie’s voice calling his name in concern broke him out of the almost train wreck of his mind as he turned to look at her with unreadable eyes that did not give way to the turmoil inside him.

“I hope you don’t mind Daddy…” she said reassuringly, looking quite fretful.  “He’s a little intimidating, is all.”

A ‘little’ was clearly such an extreme understatement.

[...]

“Have a seat, Mr. Carlon,” Lucifer gestured to the seat opposite his and his desk, and Alastor accepted the invitation willingly.

An intricate silver cigarette casing was taken out from his jacket’s inner pocket, popped open and held out to Alastor, who took one with a nod of thanks. A stick to his own lips and Lucifer took a lighter to graciously alight both their cigarettes.

Alastor took a second to himself to enjoy a much-needed puff as Lucifer circled around the desk back to his armchair. “Are you feeling better?” he asked politely, making himself comfy in his seat.

Exhaling another puff that seemed like a relief to his lungs, Alastor replied, “What gave you the implication that I wasn’t?”

“The look on your mug when you saw mine.”

And just like that, it seemed the smoke did no use to ease him any longer, watching as Lucifer’s face split into a wide grin, laughing softly with a shake of his head. And yet, this was not all that shocking to him, taking a silent breath to himself as he willed his tense body to move, leaning forward to flick the ashes of his cigarette on a nearby ashtray.

“So, we’re dropping the pretence now, I assume?” Alastor questioned blankly, putting the cigarette back to his lips.

 “You’re not really someone easy to forget, Mr. Carlon,” Lucifer noted casually with the flicker of his own cigarette ash onto the ashtray. “Or should I just call you ‘Alastor’, now that we’re very familiar with each other?”

“Call me anything you want. Either one’s my name anyway.”

Lucifer only hummed in agreement, and quickly after, a silence ensued. Both men did not talk, just sitting across each other, focus on only their own gaspers within the silence of the study. But while Lucifer was reclining on his chair looking elsewhere, Alastor’s eyes were fixed on him – watching, waiting, anticipating, even though he had no clue what to expect at all.

And that bothered him to no end.

“Come now, no need to be so tense,” Lucifer suddenly broke the silence in a reassured tone. “Did you enjoy the cake, Alastor?”

A strange turn of a conversation, but one Alastor kept up with as she politely shook his head. “Didn’t take a slice, sorry. I’m not a fan of sweets.”

Lucifer looked almost disappointed to hear that. “Oh? What a shame. It’s a lovely cake. Pineapple upside-down. Very fashionable. My wife picked it out.”

Taking a drag before exhaling smoke in a puff, he continued almost mellow-like. “Ah, my Lilith. Such a catch, isn’t she? How I do love her so dearly.”

Alastor only nodded along, keeping a polite smile on his face. Any egg would know better than to show much enthusiasm when a man was talking about his wife, so he kept the niceties to a minimum in this strange atmosphere, still simply watching and waiting.

“Do you know who else I love dearly, Alastor?”

And just like that, Alastor immediately felt his smile dropping just the slightest.

“My daughter.”

Lucifer took a last drag, smoothly blowing smoke out in a smooth stream before butting it out on the ashtray, and that’s when his eyes turned to look at him, narrowed into dangerous slits that seemed reminiscent of a snake ready to pounce.

“Which is why I want to know how exactly did she manage to wind up with you.”

If looks could kill, then Lucifer was intent to do so, withdrawing from under his desk a revolver.

The silence in the room could have been quiet enough to hear the way Alastor’s heart dropped right to the floor as he stared at the bean-shooter aimed right at his head.

Even after he felt the last bits of his cigarette turning to ash and falling to the floor, he was too frozen to even move to discard it on the ashtray. In his standstill, his eyes remained on Lucifer, whose glare only seemed more menacing against his grin.

“Well?”

“We’re neighbours.”

It was the truth, so what else could he have said other than that? But judging from the way his eyes widened in slight surprise, the answer clearly wasn’t what Lucifer was expecting. Then again, maybe it’s how he answered so blankly that threw him off. Alastor couldn’t be too sure at which.

“Apologies if it isn’t as exciting as you might think I had more dire intentions,” he apologised for no reason in particular, “but it is as simple as that.”

The revolver unwavering, Lucifer rested his head on his free hand, looking thoughtful. “That’s not really much of an answer.”

“She’s the one who invited me.”

“And there she was, looking so shy and bashful when she wanted me to meet you,” Lucifer said with a hard edge to his voice, as if the words that left his mouth left a disgusting taste on his tongue at the thought of it. “So, is this some sort of sick plan of yours, then?”

Without a doubt, Alastor was taken aback by the blatant accusation that was directed at him.

“To be completely fair, I had no idea that she was your daughter,” he explained. “I think you yourself could understand that from our very inopportune meeting earlier on.”

Lucifer laughed as if the memory of that meeting was humorous to him, and Alastor couldn’t help but feel the slightest bit peeved that he seemed to be laughing at him. He didn’t appreciate really being taken for a joke, even with a revolver pointed at right between his eyes.

“Well, now you do, so what then?”

“What makes you think I’d want to do anything to Charlie?” he countered back, almost challengingly as though to make a point for himself.

Lucifer may have definitely seen the agitation on his face, looking more bemused as he leaned forward, the revolver inching closer to Alastor’s head, but the radio host he remained calm, not even flinching in the slightest as he continued to observe.

“No need to play coy with me, friend. I’ve seen the stunt you’re able to pull. The way your eyes dilate with the thrill of the kill. Almost seems like you think of it as some fun game!”

Alastor couldn’t help but huff in amusement, his face not denying the truth in the man’s presumptions, which only prompted him to continue with, “So, is that what you’re intending to play with Charlie?”

The room fell into a hushed silence again, as Lucifer waited for his answer and Alastor staring blankly at him.

One would not have felt the spark of irritation that was growing within the man in the red suit. The way Lucifer prompted curiously, pressing him to spill, it admittedly agitated Alastor. He didn’t like having to be given the third this way, especially with the revolver pointed right at his face, as though mocking him into submission.

An inkling in him saw this as a sort of cowardice, that he’d have to whip out a heat just to have some show of power to intimidate him in the slightest. How absolutely obnoxious, he’ll say!

And so, vain and cocky in true fashion, Alastor couldn’t help but bite back even in the slightest, confident and without resistance, doing so with a sharp grin.

“If I wanted her dead, she would’ve been long gone before you even met me.”

Now, that definitely seemed like the wrong thing to say.

Alastor watched as the look on Lucifer’s face shifted, turning darker as his eyes narrowed, his grin starting to become a tad bit more tighter, clearly having a chord struck in him, the murderous intent burning more as the seconds passed by quickly.

Well, quite understandable really, considering he just up and dared indirectly said he wanted to have the curse on Charlie.

Yet, the words that followed the expression had no match at all.

 “You know, Alastor, you remind me of a deer.”

His darkening aura started to lighten up as he regained his composure, and the sudden change in the conversation only confused Alastor once more. He was probably getting whiplash from the constant turn of events that he had endured for the just the past hour or so, too stupefied to say anything now. No response came, only silence in waiting for the continuation.

“You don’t seem like so, but such a bravado that exists within you. So poised and elegant, like a buck with impressive antlers – an assertion of power and dominance. How you bring yourself so confidently that it seemed like you rule above all, that nothing could bring you down.”

A loud click suddenly resonated in the room, coming from the hammer of the revolver that’s been pushed down and ready for ignition.

And just like that, Alastor was startled, eyes widening as it darted to the tip of the barrel that was still aimed steadfastly in the middle of his forehead, focus only on that instead of the crazed grin on the Big Apple. It probably wasn’t loud, but he could hear the hammering of his heart resonate loudly in his hearing, almost blocking out the next seething words that followed.

“But put a gun right on them and it’s just an act, revealing nothing more than prey.”

[platonically-loving-alastor]

Aroace Alastor

Hoo boy here we go- This one might make some people mad at me, so I'll preface by saying I do not want to start a fight and as long as you respect my business, I'll respect yours. But let's get this over with-

First off, I genuinely don't understand how some people can see the Ace-In-The-Hole quote and still believe that Alastor is only intended to be asexual and not also aromantic. Yes, the term Rosie used for purpose of the pun was 'ace', but can we look at the context of that moment before jumping to conclusions?

Rosie, motioning to Charlie: "Oh, who's this you brought with you? Come now, Alastor, she's much too young for you! Oh, I'm just kidding. I know you're an ace in the hole!"

Her original statement implies nothing sexual, only that he's involved in a relationship with Charlie, and she follows it up with why she knows that couldn't be because he's an 'ace in the hole'. I don't think you have to read too far between the lines to see that.

I would also like to say that when Vivienne has spoken about his orientation before, I recall her saying that she didn't want to confirm him being aromantic so that she wouldn't 'ruin anyone's fun', which I just feel like is an odd thing to say if she wasn't already explicitly picturing him as aroace. If she thought he had romantic attraction, why wouldn't she just say that? What fun would that ruin? I also feel like keeping things like this ambiguous just to appease the shippers is a little weird, but I digress-

And to those of you who I know are saying "But aromantic people can be in relationships too!!" *deep inhale* yeah I know. I'm not gonna pretend you're not right about that, but there are also aroace people who have exactly 0 interest in romance or sex at all. This is the part of the post that really is based on how I interpret certain moments, but to me he is absolutely one of those people. I don't really know where people get any vibes of him being interested in that stuff. I have never once looked at him and thought "Yeah I could see him in a romantic relationship with *insert character here*". Even aside from attraction in general, since that's what we'd be talking about at this point anyway, he just seems like the kind of guy who'd rather work and live independently instead of relying on anyone, whether practically or emotionally (which is also probably part of the reason he never joined the Vees, but that's another topic entirely). Hell, I'm pretty sure he's in heavy denial about even developing any kind of care or friendship with the people at the hotel (ie. the episode 8 scene with him and Niffty).

The only ships I see him involved in with people he doesn't hate (so ignoring RadioApple, RadioHusk, and StaticRadio. But to be real, maybe the fact all his main ships are enemies to lovers coded says something about the whole situation, but that's just me-) are Charlastor - which I will not even try to discuss here, people aren't gonna like this post as it is - and RadioRose. Rosie and him would at least be fair, if it weren't for one thing (which is also personal opinion on my end), and I don't know exactly how to word it. I'm tempted to say she has wingwoman vibes? But she knows he's aro, so that's not the right word, but there's vibes of like, she probably did act as a wingwoman before she realized that about him or something.. There's also something about her joking around like "Oh this is the girl? You have a girlfriend and I'm only now meeting her?" is almost giving motherly behavior. Idk man they're just besties to me, I could see them in a QPR though (not that they'd probably label it that way, considering the word queerplatonic is likely just complete gibberish to Alastor lmao).

So to summarize: It feels incredibly likely, if not practically canon, that Alastor was written with aromanticism in mind, even if Vivienne refuses to explicitly state it. Subtext and not-that-subtle implications can say just as much about a character as word of God, especially when that God has explicitly told us why she won't confirm or deny this information. Do I think any of this will stop people from shipping him romantically with literally any other character? No ofc it won't, and that's okay, that's just what fandoms do. I do think there's something to say for the fact the one aroace (or even at the very least asexual) character gets constantly shipped with everyone else in the cast, but this post is long enough I think. The only point of posting this is that I wanted to get information out there in one post to say "Hey, let's look a little bit past the surface for a second before saying there's no proof of him being aromantic"

Anyway, thanks for reading, I hope you at least took something away from this

[gyubby99]

Fuck it hazbin shippers slander (but these are my assumptions)

Chaggie - GIRL KISSER *runs*

Huskerdust - yall being fed every month

Charlastor - show me the fanchild. For reaserch.

Radiodust - average hunicast enjoyer for crumbs

Radiohusk - you like old married couples but it's like gay n everything idfk

Radiorose - You're either asexual or bisexual

Almimzy - ... acoustic? 👁👁

Spidermoth - you were probably either there during Zoophobia or you're annoying

Staticmoth - The common misconception of the instagrams being deemed canon by some people frustrates you (also you're probably rlly nice)

Staticradio - Either bitter exes that have sexual tension or rivals to lovers slow burn 100k words per chapter

Lucilith - IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY. MAYBE THEY JUST FORGOT TO PUT "MORNINGSTAR" ON THE LILITH TRADING CARD. NO- DON'T CRY YET NO--

Radiosnake - what is a rival if not a crush you hate on having amiright

Staticspider - Cmon. I know you have paranoid dj on your spotify wrapped. Pack it up.

Valastor - you really like pathetic old men.. you-.. you just do I feel it..

Mimzy x Rosie - you are a gift to society I love you

Radioapple - oh my god you doubled the twinks

Baxter x Niffty - YOU KNOW THAT ONE???? *gives u cake*

Valentino x Angel Dust - oh.. *scoots further away* oh..

[alastor-simp-page]

The Soulmate Curse

Yippee! My first Charlastor fic! It is a soulmate AU one! I'm very excited! I've been inching to write it for so loooong. I was inspired by @desertarcanine to write this prompt in a previous post.

Lucifer has dropped a new update in Hell: Soulmates! What could go wrong with a such a lovely idea? Well Hell somehow finds a way to be Hell anyways. In life soulmates are strung together by red strings of fate. In Hell, soulmates are chained (its a little kinky but let's ignore that). Alastor and Charlie are faced with a horrible curse with this new improvement. Or perhaps a blessing in disguise?

There's a little sneak peek underneath if you are interested.

“Hello and welcome back to 666 News!” The anchor beamed and placed a hand on her shallow chest, “I am your host Katie Killjoy and…” she pointed at the gas faced man beside her, “And this moron is Tom Trench.” Katie Killjoy clasped her fingers, beaming her terrifyingly sharp teeth at the screen. “In approximately five minutes, the King of Hell will be adding a new variable to our life in Hell. The ability to find our soulmates.” Her face was still staring and then an evil smirk crossed her face. “HA!” She guffawed. “Soulmates in Hell? Old Lucifer is losing his fucking marbles.”

Lucifer growled as he watched the stupid talking television, “You know I try to do something nice for Hell!” He threw up his hands and jabbed a finger at the screen, “And this my thanks!”

Everyone was gathered around the TV in the lobby. Charlie and Vaggie were snuggled up to each other on the little loveseat. Lucifer was close by in an armchair. Angel Dust was sprawled on the couch next to a very disinterested Husker and an enthusiastic Nifty. Alastor stood back, standing behind the crowd with his eyes narrowed.

This was ridiculous. Soulmates? Alastor scoffed. 

Nifty’s one eye raked over the entire room, and she started giggling, manically. Oh god. She swooned to herself, started kicking her tiny feet and said, “My soulmate better be the baddest boy ever.” Her smile turned inward, almost psychotic as her veins popped in her eye. “ Hehe , and he’ll find out what happens to bad boys when they misbehave…” Her laugh sounded like a deranged scream.

Husk sighed to himself as he downed another drink of cheap booze, “Jesus Christ, Nifty,” he added after he swallowed down the foul liquor. “Godspeed to whoever gets stuck with…” he gave Niffty a wary look, “with that .”

Angel Dust grinned, sat up and smoothed back his floppy white hair, “Hey Daddy Whiskers,” he said in that sultry voice of his. “You got the claws. I got the legs ,” He kicked up his legs, crossing them delicately and leaning in close to Husk’s ear. “And we got the chemistry, baby.” Angel Dust let out a loud sigh, puffing out his fluffy chest and giving Husk a seductive side glance, “We’re bound to be soulmates, Husky.”

Husk just groaned as a reply and kept drinking, “I’m too sober for this, kid.” Angel Dust let out a long sigh before scrolling on his phone again.

Lucifer was twiddling with his fingers. A sign of nervousness, Alastor knew, he did it whenever he was around Charlie. Alastor’s spindly fingers tightened on his cane as his gaze swept over the little blonde head in front of him. Tangles of loose blonde strands tucked away in loose hair bands. Alastor didn't let his smile drop even as he mused: Charlie is too forgiving of him.

“Say…” Angel’s obnoxious voice said above the chatter of the stupid screen box. The adult film star’s mismatched eyes glimmered with mischief as he looked upon Alastor. What was this effeminate fellow going to do now? Angel Dust glanced around the room and continued, “Lucifer, is Mr. Smiles here gonna have a soulmate?” He motioned to the stoic Radio Demon. Everyone turned to Lucifer, glances switching between the two powerful forces.

“Well, um…” Lucifer threw a wary glimpse over his shoulder at the smirking Radio Demon. The King shrugged, “I guess so.”

“Ha.” Alastor said, extremely unamused. He studied his nails and twirled his microphone between his slender hands. “I have no need for such trivial things.” Alastor waved a dismissive hand, “I’ll just dispose of them if that sorry fool attempts to court me.”

“Such a charmer,” Husk grumbled under his breath.

Alastor didn’t let that flicker of anger show and instead went on in that cheery sleek radio voice, “Of course I am, Husker. You would know all about that wouldn’t you?” He said innocently. Husk growled under his breath without throwing the Radio Demon a glance. He propped his elbows atop Lucifer’s chair and said in a mock apologetic voice, “It is such a pleasant gift, my worship. However, I have much more…” His teeth shined in the light, his smile wide and toothy, “...grand montres planned.” The Radio Demon resumed his stance behind Charlie’s loveseat.

Vaggie threw a needless glare over her shoulder. Alastor simply arched a brow. What a curious little thing Vaggie is. Always clinging onto Charlie’s arm. Always watching him. He let a small scoff escape. She distrusted him, rightfully so. Yet…if he wanted them dead, they already would be. Well, just Vaggie. Charlie was…he wouldn’t touch her. And he wouldn’t let anyone else raise a hand against her either.

Link is below if you want to keep reading!

[chaifootsteps]

Re-reading some of the other Anons’s take and how Charlastor has way more dynamic than Chaggie and I couldn’t agree more. And like.. CAN YOU imagine the potential if we role swapped Vaggie and Alastor ? Somethings would change of course.

Charlie so desperate to help the sinners and to help the people of hell. Vaggie being an overlord/ powerful being “ helping “ Charlie, taking advantage of her naiveness and knowing dang well the hotel idea is gonna be a disaster. But the more she spends time with Charlie,GETTING TO KNOW HER MORE, the more Vaggie thinks “… maybe she could be right ?.. “ Changing her perspective on what’s right. Starts enjoying her company more and “ Oh no she’s kind of cute ? Oh god - eldrich lesbian moth panic- “ (both of them would be the same age don’t worry )

If I remember correctly, I think people speculated Alastor having some past with Lilith/Rosie ? There’s potential there too! We could have maybe Lilith/Rosie give kid Charlie to Alastor since she trust Alastor to take good care of her. ( Alastor could be a fallen angel? ) and both him and Charlie could have a wholesome father-daughter relationship. Alastor, still being the quirky silly Uncle/ Dad to Charlie and supporting her idea of a Happy Hotel for sinners. At first he wouldn’t be on board with it but he would still be supportive, like any parent. He could be so iffy of Vaggie, A POWERFUL DANGEROUS BEING, just waltzing into the hotel to “help” her adoptive daughter/ Niece. We could have gotten Protective Dad Alastor.

Alastor: -points aggressively at Vaggie who’s just staring at Charlie with heart eyes- “ She is gonna be a bad influence and danger to my kid, I just KNOW it “ >:(

Love your blog! Hope you had a nice New years and Crimmis! Happy 2024!

Now you've done it, Anon. The thought of super powerful Eldritchian Overlord Vaggie is giving me a sexuality crisis. What am I supposed to do with that?

And thank you! I had a wonderful Chrysler and New Year's, and I hope you did too! Here's to a great 2024!

[miniagula]

they make me ILL and SICK IN THE HEAD

[zootopiathingz]

I rlly wanna participate in Charlastor week but oh my god the creative block will not let me😭😭😭

[fanartandfanfiction]

HUMBLE Chapter three

A Charlastor fic. Find it on AO3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54165058/chapters/137156539#workskin

Summary: Charlie and Alastor spend some time together and Charlie's dinner companion causes a stir...

Alastor didn’t sleep much, so he was up with the sun. He dressed for the day and headed to the kitchen to put on some coffee. He saw the light on under the door as he approached. Of COURSE she’d be up already. Some sort of obnoxious song was playing and she was singing along. 

“ The best thing about beeein a woman

Is the prerogative to have a little fun!

WOAH OH OH!”  

He silently appeared in the kitchen, not wanting to risk her seeing the door open. He leaned against the breakfast bar, resting his chin on his hands and smiling. She was preparing a bowl of something and had no idea he was there.

“ Man! I feel like a wo- “ she turned around and shrieked. “FUCK! You’ve gotta wear a bell or something!” 

“But then I wouldn’t get the joy of seeing that expression!” He grinned. 

“Jeez, thanks for the heart attack, Al. How’d you sleep?”

“Wonderfully! I got a full two hours.” 

“Somehow that doesn’t surprise me.” She sat her bowl down and sat across from him. 

“Charlie, dear. WHAT are you eating?” 

“Um, cereal? They’re hell-o’s.”

“They’re garbage.” He snapped his finger and made her bowl disappear.

“HEY!” 

“I cannot sit idly by while you ingest that sugary sludge. I’m going to fix you a proper breakfast.” 

“I LIKE that sugary sludge.” Charlie grumbled as she poured a large cup of coffee. He watched in horror as she added more and more scoops of sugar. Her eyes flicked up towards him. “Don’t you DARE take my coffee.” 

“Fine, I’ll just watch you ruin perfectly good coffee.” He grimaced when she added creamer. “Charlotte, you’re killing me.” 

“So get your own cup of coffee and don’t judge mine.” She smirked and sipped it. She closed her eyes and let out a contented sigh. 

He took the time to really examine the princess of hell. Her massive amount of hair was piled on top of her head and resembled a bird’s nest. She seemed to be bright eyed and bushy tailed with no trace of the downtrodden girl he’d glimpsed last night. She seemed to be wearing an oversized shirt with no pants, a fact she either wasn’t aware of or didn’t care about. The shirt went down to her thighs. His eyes widened when she turned around and reached for something off the top shelf and he saw a glimpse of bright pink underwear. She turned back around and saw his shell shocked expression. “What?” 

“I don’t know about you, but i was raised to wear pants to the table.” He smirked. 

“Oh!” Her cheeks flushed even brighter. “Oh god, I’m sorry. I’m always here by myself. Angel and Vaggie won’t be up for hours. I didn’t even think about…” she blushed and sipped her coffee. 

“Quite alright, dear. I thought perhaps you had a rather strange policy and I’d be forced to abandon mine as well.” 

Charlie choked on her coffee and laughed. “No! Oh god, I’m sorry. This is mortifying. I’m not making a very good impression.” 

“No, but you’re making an interesting one.” He smiled. “What ARE you doing up at this hour?” 

“I’ve always been an early riser. This is just a part of my routine. I come down here and have a quick breakfast and go over my plans for the day.” She gestured towards a bulky planner beside her. 

Alastor grimaced. “What is that thing? You’ve stuffed it to the gills!” 

“Oh! That book basically contains my life. It’s my planner, diary, scrapbook…proooobably shouldn’t have told you all that.” 

“Don’t worry, darling, I have no desire to read your innermost thoughts. I imagine it to be quite frightening.” He rolled up his sleeves and began getting ingredients out of the fridge. “How do you take your eggs?” 

She blinked at him in confusion. “Um…cooked?” 

“I mean scrambled, sunny side up, fried…” 

“Oh! Um…I don’t really know.” 

Alastor banged his head against the refrigerator. “You dear, sweet child. I don’t know whether to pity you or throttle you.”

“Excuse me?!”

“How do you not even know how to cook an egg?!” 

“Because I never had to! I grew up in a freaking palace! And that’s where I lived until I bought this place and moved in a couple years ago. No one ever taught me anything because they just assumed I’d have it brought to me on a silver platter. Do you know how embarrassing it was to not even know how to wash clothing?! So forgive me for not knowing how to cook a fucking egg!” 

Alastor grinned widely at her. The little demon Belle’s horns had begun to sprout and her eyes glowed red. “Oh my! I’m tempted to continue riling you up to see what happens.” 

Charlotte’s eyes widened and she immediately shifted back. “I’m sorry, I have to go.” She grabbed her book and bolted for the door. He managed to get to it with his shadow before her and keep her from leaving. “Alastor, let me go.”

“Forgive me, Charlotte. We’ve gotten off on the wrong foot this morning. I didn’t intend to upset you. Can we start fresh and have a civilized breakfast?” 

Charlie’s arms were crossed and her face was scrunched up in the most adorable way. “Are you going to stop being a dick?” 

“I make no promises.” He grinned. 

“Fine. But only because you stole my breakfast and I’m hungry.” She sat back down at the counter and huffed. 

“If you’re good, I’ll make you a special treat I just know you’ll love!” 

“Can we stop with the condescension? I’m not a child. I’m MUCH older than you. I’m not a silly little girl or a puppy to pat on the head. Got it?!” 

A red swirl of magic had surrounded him, coiling like a snake. He grinned widely at Charlie. “Didn’t think you’d be into tying people up, doll!” 

She rolled her eyes and waved her hand, vanishing the magic. “God, you sound like angel dust.” 

“Only teasing, sugar. It was an impressive little display.” 

He turned his attention to cooking, which Charlie was grateful for. GOD could he be obnoxious! She had not had enough coffee to deal with him this morning. She downed her cup and turned to grab the pot. When she turned back around to refill her cup, it was already sitting there waiting for her. She blinked at it and glanced at Alastor, who was still working away at the stove. She smiled and sipped her coffee. It was exactly how she took it. A peace offering. 

Charlie was completely absorbed in her planner when a plate was set down in front of her. She jumped and looked up in surprise, having completely forgotten that Alastor was there. “Oh! Thank you.” 

“What’s on your busy schedule today?” He sipped his coffee and smiled. 

“Weeeeell I was hoping you’d have some time this morning to go over some of the business stuff with me, as well as plans for the hotel. After that I’ve blocked off a few hours to finish cleaning out the attic, and then I have a dinner meeting with a potential investor!” 

“Oh? And who would that be?” 

“His name is Vox, the demon with the tv head?” 

Alastor’s head snapped up and loud crackling and static filled the room. “ No.” 

“No what?”

“We do not need to associate with that grandstanding buffoon!”

Charlie raised her eyebrows. “Sounds like someone has some beef with Vox.”

“He’s an arrogant narcissistic asshole who is only interested in boosting his reputation and fortune.” 

“Sure, sure, you don’t seem personally invested at all. Well, you don’t have to join us for dinner.” 

“Absolutely not, Charlotte. We cannot trust that overlord!” 

“Do you REALLY wanna lecture me about trusting overlords, Alastor? Because your reputation is far worse than his.” 

“Surely you could find someone else to be an investor! Let me use my connections and set up a meeting.” 

Charlie sighed. “Alastor, we can’t afford to make an enemy of the Vee’s. I’m not going to agree to anything, sign any contracts, or make any deals. We are simply having dinner to discuss the hotel.” 

Alastor was silent. “I suppose I can’t stop you from going. But I think this is a bad idea.” 

What could Vox possibly want to do with the hotel? What would he gain from investing? What would he be getting out of this? He got his answer when Charlie came down the stairs that evening. She was talking to Angel as she fastened her earring. “I should be back in a couple of hours. Are you sure I’m dressed alright?” 

“Are you kidding?! You look smokin’ baby!”

“Thank you, but that’s not what I meant. I want to look professional and classy. Of course he picked a fancy restaurant.” 

“Let’s get strawberry’s opinion. Well? Is she a classy looking lady or what?”

Charlie was dressed in a deep blue cocktail dress that hit just above the knee, with sapphire earrings and tall heels. Her makeup was soft and her hair was curled neatly. 

“You look lovely, doll. Do you require an escort to your destination?” 

“No, thanks though! He’s sending a car.” 

“Remember, Toots. Confidence. So put on a smile, push up your tits, and win him over. Seriously, do those go any higher? Maybe you got a wonder bra or somethin’?” 

“Angel!” Charlie hissed. 

“C’mere, let me help.” He yanked her into the tiny office behind the counter. 

“ANGEL!” Charlie shouted. 

“It looks better!” 

Charlie came rushing out of the back, cheeks burning brightly. Angel just looked smug. 

“I’m tellin’ ya, Charlie. You’ve got a hot body. Use it! What good is it to look like that and not use it to your advantage? Take it from me, my tits have gotten me plenty of advantages. Actually, this is just chest fluff, but if I make it look like tits, I’ve got idiots drooling all over me.” 

“Charlotte does not need to use her body to succeed!” Alastor’s voice crackled. 

“Calm down, grandpa, I ain’t tellin’ her to sleep with him! Though it would help…” they both jumped as the static increased. “Jeez you’re uptight! I was kidding. Cool your jets. I’m just saying, I know Charlie can give a fantastic pitch, it just doesn’t hurt to put it in pretty packaging. Your car’s here, toots. Where ya havin’ dinner?”

“Chez Mal. Oh boy. Wish me luck!” Charlie walked out the front door of the hotel. 

“What’s the problem, strawberry? Feelin’ jealous?” Angel batted his eyes at him. “Because if you’re lookin’ for some company-“ Angel was stopped in his tracks by a shadow wrapping around him.

“Let’s get one thing straight, my effeminate fellow. Charlie may put up with your crass behavior, but I will not. You will speak to me with respect and I shall extend the same courtesy to you. Do you understand?” 

“Ooh, harder, deer daddy!” Angel grinned. 

“What's going on here?!” Vaggie said as she entered the hotel. 

“Just having a conversation, doll.” Alastor smiled. 

“Let. Him. Go.” 

“Calm down, Vagatha.” He released Angel. 

“That’s not my name. Where’s Charlie? I’ve been out all day passing out flyers for the hotel and doing the weekly shopping.” 

“She left for her meeting.” Angel replied, examining his nails and looking bored. 

“What meeting?” 

“The dinner meeting with Vox.” 

“WHAT?!” 

Angel blinked in surprise. “She didn’t tell you?”

“No she didn’t fucking tell me! Because she knows I wouldn’t have let her go!”

“Sorry toots, but you don’t own her and you can’t control her. No matter how much you want to.” Angel smirked. 

“And you! You know Vox is an asshole! You let her go?!” She snarled at Alastor. 

“To echo the spider, I don’t own her. I can’t control her. I did try to talk her out of it.” 

“Fuck! I don’t trust any of the Vee’s.” 

Alastor had an idea. “I coooould send my shadow to keep an eye on her. For a price.”

“I’m not selling you my fucking soul.”

“And I’m not interested in possessing it.”

“Forget it. I’m not making any deals with you. I’ll just go find her myself.”

“And do what, exactly? Drag her out of there? Scold her like a child?” 

“Fuck you! I can’t believe you two.” She headed upstairs and began calling Charlie. 

“Ignore her. She’s just bitter cuz she can’t get Charlie on her team.” Angel snorted. 

“I’m afraid I don’t follow?” 

“Vaggie is a taco eater. Charlie, while eating the occasional taco, prefers the sausage.” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“She’s a lesbian! And Charlie ain’t!” Husk raised his head from the bar where he’d been passed out. 

“Oooooh. I see. Now I understand her behavior.” This was an interesting bit of information to have. “And does Charlotte know?”

Angel laughed loudly. “Charlie wouldn’t know someone was hittin’ on her if her life depended on it. She just thinks everyone wants to be her friend.”

Oh dear. That could be a problem. Because someone like Vox would absolutely use that to his advantage. Angel finished his drink, and when he turned around, Alastor was gone. 

“Charlotte! You look breathtaking this evening.” Vox helped her out of the car and kissed her cheek. 

“Thank you! I wasn’t sure what to wear, I don’t go to places like this a lot.”

“That, my dear, is a shame. A woman like you should be spoiled! Come, we’ve got a reservation for the finest table in the place.” He offered his elbow and Charlie took it, feeling a bit self conscious. He led her inside and pulled out her chair for her. She thanked him and tried to remember the pitch she’d prepared. 

A waiter appeared and poured them each a glass of wine. Charlie looked around and felt confused. It seemed to be an awfully romantic place for a meeting.

“Something on your mind, darling?” He smiled at her.

“I was just admiring the view. It’s lovely, you can see the whole city from here.” She smiled as she looked out the large picture window.

“Yes, the view IS stunning. I could stare at it all day.” Vox was smiling at her and laying on the charm. 

My god, Charlie WAS oblivious. Alastor slapped his palm against his face. He’d gone to the restaurant in case he needed to make a quick rescue, but for now he was outside and letting his shadow do the spy work. 

“I bet you can see the hotel from here!” Charlie grinned. Vox’s face (screen?) fell as he realized his flirting had gone right over her head. “I’m super excited to tell you about everything we have to offer! I even brought a binder you can take with you full of information about the project.” She snapped her fingers and a hot pink binder appeared.

Alastor laughed hysterically upon seeing Vox’s expression, making the other demons on the street scatter. Clearly he’d thought they’d put business aside and it would be a romantic evening. He’d underestimated Charlie.

They all did. 

45 minutes later, Charlie reached the end of her presentation and smiled widely. “Well?” 

“That was…thorough.” He smiled.

“You can take the binder with you to show the other Vees. I highlighted the important parts!” She shoved the binder at him.

He flipped it open and frowned. “It’s all highlighted.”

“Yep!” 

He shut the binder and gave her a tight smile. “Thank you for this. I’ll have to give it some thought.”

“That’s all I’m asking for!”

“Perhaps we can put business aside for the evening?”

“Oh, of course! I’m sorry, once I get turned on it’s hard to turn me back off!” She giggled. Vox choked on his wine. Alastor laughed hysterically. 

“Are you alright?!” 

“Yes, sorry about that.” He gave her a charming smile. “I have to say, Charlotte, that I find you quite enchanting.” 

“Oh you can just call me Charlie!” She smiled. 

“Charlie…you have a beautiful smile.”

“Aw, thank you! I think the fangs take away from it.” She giggled. 

“Not at all. You’re a vision, Charlie.”

“You’re so sweet!” 

“And it’s not just your looks, though they are stunning. It’s your personality, your drive. Your…passion.” He reached across the table and took Charlie’s hand.

Surely to GOD Charlie would pick up on it now. No one could be that oblivious.

He was wrong.

Charlie smiled brightly and put her hand on top of his. “It means so much to hear you say that. I’ve felt pretty discouraged lately. A lot of people hate my guts. Sometimes it builds up and takes a toll on me.” 

“How could anyone hate an angel like you?” He leaned closer. 

“Oh believe me, plenty of people do. Either because of my personality or my dad.” 

“They’d be a fool not to see how wonderful you are.” 

Ugh. Alastor hated Vox even more now. 

“You’re sweet. Thank you for tonight, this was great! I needed to get out. I live and work at the hotel so there’s days I never leave it.” 

“Well then, I suppose we’ll have to do this again.”

The bill came and Charlie reached for it, but Vox handed over his card. “I’m happy to have made you smile this evening.”

“Fine, but the next one is on me!” 

They headed outside and Alastor was right behind them. “Could I interest you in a nightcap?” Vox asked, his hand on her lower back. Alastor quietly steamed.  

“Oh, thank you, but I should really get back to the hotel.”

“Surely they can manage without you for a bit longer.”

“It’s just, we have some new residents, and I feel bad for taking off on them.” 

“Your devotion to your guests is wonderful, Charlotte. But is anyone devoted to you?” 

“I mean, I know I can count on my best friend Vaggie. We’ve been through soooo much together.” 

“But does anyone hold your heart?” Vox stepped closer, placing a hand on her waist. 

“Whaaaat’s happening?” Charlie asked, completely confused. 

“Someone should be devoted to you, Charlotte. Worship and adore you.” He brushed a finger across her cheek. Charlie was frozen in place with wide eyes. 

“I’m not…really the worshiping type…” she really wasn’t sure how to respond.

“Men should be falling at your feet just to earn one of your smiles.”

“That’s kind of dramatic.” She whispered it since he was moving closer. Uh, what the FUCK?

“Charlotte…” he cupped her cheek and leaned forward. Charlie was in full panic mode. 

“THERE you are, doll! I’ve been looking all over for you!” Alastor’s voice made them both jump. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?! Stay back, Charlie.” He stood in front of her. 

“Weeeell! Aren’t you noble! But that’s unnecessary. Charlie and I are partners.” He grinned.

“Partners?!” Vox looked stunned. 

“Right…I mentioned that I just took on a new business partner…” Charlie was anxious. This could be very, VERY bad. 

“You’re working with the RADIO demon?!” Blue lights flickered across his screen. 

“Sooort oooof?”

“Sort of? Why, we signed the papers this morning, didn’t we, doll?” Alastor slung an arm around her.

“Charlie, you shouldn’t be working with him. You have no idea what he’s capable of.” 

“I’d be HAPPY to demonstrate!” Alastor grinned. 

“NO!” Charlie stood in front of him. “Al, we talked about this.”

“AL?” Vox gaped at the pair. 

Charlie turned around with a bright forced smile. “Thank you for a LOVELY evening-�� she shoved Alastor’s hand off her shoulder. “And I’d love to continue this conversation another TIME-“ she removed his other hand. “And I hope that my association with ALASTOR-“ another smack. “Won’t influence how you feel about me or the hotel.” She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth as Alastor placed both hands back on her shoulders. 

“Of course, Charlie. Let’s talk about this again. ALONE.” 

“Thank you, Vox.” She removed herself from Alastor. She leaned forward and kissed Vox’s cheek (or where a cheek would be) causing his screen to flicker. “Goodn-“ was all she got out before Alastor grabbed her hand and took her back to the hotel. 

“WHAT THE FUCK, ALASTOR?!” Charlie screamed at him, her horns growing and her eyes blazing red as they stood before the hotel.

“It was a rescue, doll! I could tell you didn’t want that waste of electricity to kiss you!”

“What were you even DOING there?!” 

“Keeping an eye on things.” 

“Alastor, we have to have boundaries! That was not ok!” 

“So I should’ve let him force himself on you?”

“He wasn’t going to force himself on me!” Their shouting had drawn the others out of the hotel. 

“Really? Would you have stopped him on your own? You looked like a deer in the headlights!”

“I WOULD HAVE HANDLED IT!” 

“CHARLIE! What the hell were you thinking?!” Vaggie stomped over. 

“I cannot deal with both of you right now, Vaggie.” 

“But-“

“PLEASE.” Charlie pleaded. Vaggie nodded and retreated. “Alastor, you’ve potentially ruined a HUGE opportunity! And over what?! And I swear to GOD if you say entertainment, I will kick your ass so hard that you’ll have to search all nine circles TO FIND IT!” 

Alastor was stunned. And pleasantly surprised. But he was the one in control here. He stepped closer to her and looked down on her with a smile. “The only opportunity I ruined, sweetheart, was the opportunity for him to get in your pants. He had no interest in your hotel. He wanted to fuck you. And if you cannot see that, you are even more gullible and naive than I thought.” 

“Ooooooh shit.” Angel whispered, watching the pair with wide eyes. This was either gonna get really good or really bad.

Alastor prided himself on always having the upper hand. He was always in control, and always prepared for anything. But what he wasn’t prepared for was Charlotte’s fist slamming into his face, knocking him to the ground.

“YOU DON’T THINK I KNOW THAT?!” She sobbed. “That’s how it ALWAYS is, Alastor! No one will ever take me seriously because of the way I look! You and everyone else believe that I’m a naive little girl, but guess what? I’ve been around longer than all your lifetimes combined. This is nothing new to me. There will ALWAYS be people who just want to use me, but it is up to ME to handle it! You have NO IDEA about ANY of the shit I have dealt with!  And I’m still here. So I don’t need a fucking knight in shining armor. I don’t need a guard dog. And I don’t need you.” Charlie turned and pushed past the other residents and went inside. 

There was tense silence. “We’re all gonna fucking die, aren’t we?” Angel finally said. 

Alastor was still on the ground, a large grin on his face. He was absolutely stunned. He was enraged. He was…

Aroused?

He teleported back into his room. He touched his cheek where Charlie had punched him and smiled wider, causing an ache in his jaw. For the first time in DECADES, someone was able to touch him. To keep him on his toes. To potentially kill him. 

FANTASTIC!

That was the first time he’d truly felt ALIVE in years. And if he wanted to keep this feeling, he needed to fix this. He knew exactly how. 

Charlie was furious. How DARE he show up and act like a jackass?! She would’ve handled it. She would’ve politely told Vox she was only interested in a business partnership. It would’ve been awkward, sure, but at least diplomatic. The Vees would never consider working with them now. 

The part she was the most upset about was that she had been a bit naive. She’d truly hoped it was a business meeting. But as soon as she saw the romantic setting and the way his eyes were glued to her, she knew it wasn’t. She’d hoped by being seemingly oblivious that he’d take the hint. He took that as being too subtle. 

What a terrible problem to have, right? Being TOO pretty? Well it fucking sucked. It had been this way her whole life. She remembered the first time she’d been told she was just a pretty face. She was still a child. 

“Charlotte? Come here a moment.” Her mother had called her. Charlie was about ten at the time, and reaching puberty for demons. Her body was already beginning to change. 

“Yes, mommy?” 

“Come here and sit beside me.” Her mother patted the spot on the bench next to her in front of the lighted vanity mirror. Her mother smiled at her in the mirror. “Tell me what you see.”

“Um…us?”

“Yes, of course. But do you know what else you’re looking at?”

“What?”

Lilith held her face between her hands. “Your most powerful weapon.” 

“I don’t understand?”

“We have a gift, Charlie. We have the gift of beauty. And men are such fools for beauty. They’ll wage wars and bow before you just for a scrap of your attention. This is a very powerful tool, Charlotte. With a pretty face, you can get whatever you want.”

“I still don’t get it.”

Lilith sighed. “Men will desire you, Charlotte. And if they think they have a chance to bed you, they’ll do anything you ask. You just have to give them a smile and a little bit of hope that you might pity them enough to sleep with them.” 

The next “lesson” she had was in high school. She sucked at math and needed help. She’d gone to her teacher and asked for assistance. He said he’d offer it, for a price. She saw the lust in his eyes. The way his gaze flickered across her chest. She thought of what her mother had said. She could probably just ask for a passing grade.

But that’s not who she was. 

Her high school was scrambling to find a replacement after their math teacher suddenly left with no warning or explanation. How odd!

She could think of hundreds of times she’d experienced things like that. And she thought about her first love, the one she’d given her virginity to. 

Seviathan.

She’d loved him so much. He made a lot of empty promises and always said the right things to string her along until he got what he wanted. Then he was gone. He told her that there really wasn’t anything between them. She was just a pretty face and a nice piece of ass.

Charlie sat in front of that same vanity she’d sat at with her mother and cried. She’d changed into her pajamas, intending to go to bed, but if she didn’t brush out her hair, birds would be nesting in it by morning. 

There was a quiet knock on her door. “Go away, Vaggie.”

“It’s not Vaggie, dear.” She heard Alastor reply. 

“Oh. Fuck off, Alastor.” 

“I’d like to apologize.” 

“I repeat, fuck off, Alastor.” It was quiet and she thought he’d given up. She should’ve known better than that. He appeared behind her in the mirror and she wheeled on him. “Jesus fucking CHRIST, Alastor! Do you have ANY boundaries?!”

“Not typically, no.” He smiled.

“I will ask you politely one time to get out of my room. After that, I will not be polite. Do you understand me?”

“I brought a peace offering.” He held up a plate of something.

“I don’t want your peace offering. I want you to leave.” She returned to her seat and began brushing her hair again. 

“It’s a sugary baked good…”

“Leave.” 

“Charlotte, please.” 

“Alastor, I am NOT in the mood to deal with you right now.” She put her face in her hands and groaned. She froze when she felt her hair being brushed. She looked up at him in the mirror and for once he wasn’t smiling. “Uuuuuh what the fuck are you doing?” 

“Attempting to undo the tangled mess on the back of your head. I don’t know how you deal with so much hair.” 

The radio demon was brushing her hair. BRUSHING HER HAIR. This was super weird. “Alastor…you know it’s weird to just start brushing somebody’s hair, right?” 

“Mhm.” He replied while continuing to work. “You may find this hard to believe, but I don’t typically interact with people. I work alone, and I have no need for companions. That’s the way I’ve always been, even when I was alive. So I realize now that, in my efforts to be helpful, I have overstepped and pushed your boundaries.” 

She stared at him in the mirror in thought. “Sorry, I don’t buy it. You were intentionally riling Vox up, admit it.” 

“Sharp as a tack, my dear. I was a fool to underestimate you.” 

“Why? And don’t you dare say entertainment.” 

Alastor sighed. “We have a personal history. He was once very cruel to someone I cared for very much, and that’s all I’ll say on the matter.” 

“Fair enough.” She watched the surprisingly gentle radio demon in the mirror. “Honesty works best with me, Al. And if we’re going to work together, I need you to be honest with me. I’m not asking you to tell me your secrets or bare your soul. I’m just asking you to communicate. You could’ve said ‘hey, I have a very personal problem with this guy. I’d rather not work with him.” 

Alastor’s eyes flickered to hers. “You have no idea how difficult that is for me to do. How difficult THIS is.” He gestured between them. “I don’t DO this.”

“Brushing people’s hair? I’d hope not.” She smiled. 

“Talk about personal things. It’s not my style, doll.” 

Charlie was thoughtful for a moment. “You can, you know. You don’t have to be the radio demon all the time. Sometimes I get tired of being cheerful Charlie. It’s a lot of pressure wearing a mask all the time. Sometimes you need to be able to drop that mask and rest. So even though I’m still mad at you…you can always talk to me.” 

Alastor froze mid stroke with the brush. He was silent for several moments. “Thank you, Charlotte.” 

“I think my hair is fine now, Al. Thank you.” She stood and smiled, taking the brush from him. He was still frozen in place. “Uuuuh Al? This is creepier than you smiling all the time.” 

He seemed to wake up and put his bright smile back on. “Sorry, sweetheart, lost my head for a minute. I brought you a peace offering, I think you’ll be very pleased with it.” He picked up the dish he’d brought and removed the cover. “They’re beignets. Sort of like a French donut covered in powdered sugar.” 

Charlie’s eyes lit up. “Oooooh!” She picked up a beignet and bit it. She closed her eyes and made an absolutely SINFUL noise. “Alright, I accept.” She smiled. 

“Good. I’ll get out of your hair now.” 

“Not so fast. I’d like to make a deal.”

He turned around quickly. “What?” 

“Make a deal with me. No more coming into my room unannounced and uninvited. In return, I will not punch you in the face again, because I still feel really bad about that even though you totally deserved it.” She smiled. 

“Hmmm. No dice, doll. I might need a good punch every now and then and you’re the only one that can throw it.”

“Alright. What do YOU want?” 

Alastor drummed his fingers on his chin in thought. What could he ask for? He smiled as it came to him. “One hour of your time each week. An uninterrupted hour of your company.” 

Charlie looked surprised. “Really? Why?” 

Time to try the honesty thing again. “Because clearly I need to work on my people skills and spending time with a blonde chatterbox should be helpful.” 

“Does it matter what day or time? And do I get to choose or do you just snap your fingers?”

“I know which one I’D prefer, but I’ll let you choose.” 

Charlie gave him a small smile. “You will stop popping up in my room unannounced and uninvited like a jack in the box. I will give you one hour of my time each week, which will be mutually decided on by both parties.” 

“Do we have a deal?” His grin grew as his palm glowed green. 

Charlie took it with a smile. “Deal. Now can I get some sleep?”

“Of course. Goodnight, Charlotte.” 

“Goodnight, Alastor.” She shut the door in his face once again.

He was beginning to like that. 

He turned around and saw the little moth girl gaping at him. “Goodnight, Vagatha!” 

“What were you doing in Charlie’s room?”

“That, my dear, is between me and Charlie. I’d suggest you leave her be for now, she was going to bed.” He hummed as he walked down the hall to his room, leaving Vaggie in stunned silence. 

Once he got to his room and shut the door tightly behind him, he fell apart. What the fuck was THAT?! What was wrong with him?! He didn’t TALK to people, and he CERTAINLY didn’t brush their hair. Even he knew that had been weird. But he was overwhelmed with the desire to touch it, and it might buy him an opportunity to talk. It did, mostly because she was too confused to be mad at him. He was mesmerized by the golden waterfall that was her hair. He enjoyed the silky feeling between his fingertips. 

And then he just COULDN’T SHUT UP. He told her way more than he meant to. He’d intended to go there and say something along the lines of “sorry I ruined your date but Vox is a jackass so I made the executive decision to end it!” Not ramble about not knowing how to interact with people.

It was true though. Even as a child, he didn’t know how to play with the other kids. He didn’t know how to engage with them. And that never improved. And then in his afterlife, he was a feared overlord so it’s not like anyone was lining up for a chat (he would’ve killed them if they did)

He enjoyed the look of fear in their eyes. He loved making them scatter just by showing up. It made him feel untouchable.

Until tonight. 

Yes, that must’ve been the problem. She’d socked him in the jaw so hard she’d knocked a screw loose, and that’s why he acted like an idiot. Now it made sense!

[alastor-simp-page]

Oh my god these two are sooooo cute!!!! The pastels of pink are so cuteee!!! God I would kill to see a fanfic of this!! GAHHHH THE ARE SO CUTEEE! ITS GIVING OLD DISNEY!!! I NEED! I WANT! I NEED THIS!

I love the parallels and how they fit so cute together. She loves to sing and no one wants to hear her sing. And well, he loves to listen to songs yet no one sings to him. GOD THIS CONCEPT IS SO FRICKEN CUTEEE!! AND THE ART IS SO BEAUTIFUL! I love this artist's charlastor wok in general <333

Once upon a time there lived a princess. She had the kindest heart in the kingdom. There was not a soul to whom she would offer help and love. She loved to sing, but no one heard her song. Once upon a time there lived a demon. The most terrible demon in the entire kingdom. People said that he had no heart and that was why he was so cruel and scary. He loved to listen to songs, but no one sang to him

[anonbinaryweirdo]

other then chaggie literally dominating all the ships in hh (my opinion) i fucking HATE charlastor… because oh my god, just ignorinng the “hells dad” thing, rosie literally says “oh alastor shes too young for you.” AND?? REHEHRFHHF ☹️☹️ i hate charlastor sm im sorry 😔😔

yk i never got that ship idk what it was 😭 i had a very brief radiodust phase but it didn’t really last very long ☠️

I CAN PUT MEMOJIS????

[chaifootsteps]

Hi, hi! I've been a longtime follower of your blog, but this is my first time sending in an ask because of anxiety. You're the most consistent blog that keeps up to date with Viv and her work. As someone who first saw Viv through the Die Young animation, and watched the HH pilot when it was first released, I grew disillusioned as s1 of Helluva Boss slowly aired. It was mostly because I didn't really enjoy the Stolitz ship and I believe the Erin Frost drama had come out (god bless Erin - she, Ken and everyone else deserved so much better). Plus the world-building and character development was just so off.

I know people have said this before: the concept Viv has is good, but the execution sucks. There's a vision but the product is so damn juvenile. I'm ace, and I became attached to Alastor due to him being ace as well, but we all know how Viv responded when the ship wars were happening. I couldn't stand the constant sex jokes or swearing in HB since when was it required for an "adult" show to have that?

Thank you for the episode leaks. Only got to see ep 1 before they were removed. The only thing that made me laugh out loud was the Niffty gag where she stared dead into the camera. I also liked Adam a bit? Sure the "original dick" thing went on way too long, but he was funny too. I surprising enjoyed his song - the lil fist bump he did with Lute was cute, and I like Lute but knowing Viv's record... eh. There was this cool shot where Adam flew up and Lute and those golden angels go behind him and spread their wings making Adam look like the biblically accurate angel. Except Adam himself ruins the effect because what the ever-loving heck is he wearing? I hate it.

In terms of shipping, I wasn't into the Huskerdust interactions. Angel wasn't flirting, that was sexual harassment. In the pilot it was okay because their interaction was brief and Husk pushed Angel off. Chaggie was... something. I genuinely feel that Chaggie could've worked had they not been established as a couple in the first place. The reason why Charlastor (and I guess Charlentious?) happened is because they had chemistry and their interactions could be read as a romantic interest. Since Chaggie was already established, there was an expectation for them to have those, but they weren't delivered and we know well that they weren't supposed to be a thing in the first place. Have Vaggie still be her bff and bodyguard, but show those moments where she genuinely cares for Charlie's well-being that indicates she's in love with her, yet Charlie is completely oblivious to everything. Actually, reverse harem Charlie sounds pretty funny to me.

Btw, armchair psychology anon, as a person studying psychology in my final year of college, dw about people taking issues with your speculations. NPD and other personality disorders are ego-syntonic, which means that the individual's behaviours line up with their beliefs, hence why PDs are only diagnosed during adulthood once brain maturation and personality development is reached. The only exception to this is ASPD (which NPD shares a category with called Cluster B along with histrionic and BPD) as you can diagnose a child with conduct disorder that can become ASPD when they're adults. Cluster B PDs are terribly demonised by media and the public despite the volume of research (I blame misunderstanding and ignorance). Viv could have it or could not; it's just that she shows signs of having it, and that's it. Even if she doesn't, she's still an awful person. Idk what happened in her childhood or some point in her life for her to become like this, but it doesn't excuse treating people like crap - oh wait, ain't this her characters in a nutshell?

That's all I gotta say for now. I hope it's okay to send more like this in the future; I'd love to be a specific anon but idk what's already taken lol. Take care, Chai, and I hope you have a good day/evening.

By all means, send as many as you've got! Because this was a delight to read.

Let me know when you come up with a name. I'll give you a placeholder one for now.

[cherry-aqua-blossom]

Chaggie quote because I ship that and Charlastor so

Lucifer: Now everyone, we not gonna sit here, and pretend, there’s not a big ass elephant in the room.

Angel Dust, sitting with Vaggie: What the fuck is going on?

Lucifer, slamming picture of Charlie on his desk: This is what the FUCK is going on.

Angel Dust:

Angel Dust: *looks at Vaggie, squirming in her seat*

Angel Dust: 

Angel Dust: *feels realization kicking in*

Angel Dust: OH SHIT! OHHH SHIT! HAHAA, AHHH SHIT-

Angel Dust: THIS IS NOT HAPPENING RIGHT NOW-NO! *highfiving other demons* 

Angel Dust: YO SHE’S FUCKING THE KING’S DAUGHTER, OH-

Lucifer, to Vaggie: You tell anyone he saying that shit- that’s another FOOT in your ass.

Vaggie: *shaking in fear*

Angel Dust: VAGGIE, YOU LITERALLY-OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER! AHAHHAHAHA, VAGGIE FUCKED THE KING’S DAUGHTER!

Angel Dust, beginning to sing: VAGGIE FUCKED THE KING’S DAUGHTER, VAGGIE FUCKED THE KING’S DAUGHTER-

Angel Dust: SHIT- PFFFT HAHA, AND YOU BRAGGED THAT TO HIS FACE, TO HIS ACTUAL FACE, VAGGIE, DO YOU UNDERSTAND YOU BRAGGED TO THAT FACE!

Angel Dust: Holy shit, oh my god, this is-

Lucifer, starting to go demonic: *seething*

Angel Dust: I-its really not that funny..