#god these two break my heart
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In another life 🩷💚
#god these two break my heart#MY BABIESS#demon slayer#demon slayer fanart#kny#kny fanart#mitsuri kanroji#obanai iguro#obamitsu
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Nothing in the world belongs to me But my love, mine, all mine
#genshin impact#arlecchino#peruere#clervie#ouhhhhhhhh im never gonna be able to emotionally recover from watching that animated short#ever since it came out a couple days ago just thinking of these two makes me feel like my heart is physically being ripped in half#i cant stop thinking about how Clervie was the only person in Arlecchino's life that she truly loved#like dont get me wrong Arlecchino loves her children in her own detached-fucked up way as much as any person with her amount of trauma can#but Clervie meant so much to her that even just her presence alone kept Arle's curse at bay#and it seems that no one other than Clervie herself has ever been able to break this unemotional/detached wall that Arle has put up#and maybe no one else ever will#DONT GET ME WRONG I still fw arle x other female harbingers like that shit is still peak#but oh my god the idea that arle never moved on after clervie's death and will never love anyone the way she loved her makes me want to SOB
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BAND OF BROTHERS: EPISODE ONE + my favorite closeup shots
#bill guarnere#dick winters#carwood lipton#george luz#joe toye#luztoye#lewis nixon#donald hoobler#harry welsh#band of brothers#mine: gifs#did i need to include 10? no#but i love each of these and here's why#1 bc he's so absurdly cute and happy and carefree here it makes my heart melt#2 bc you can him trying so hard to keep his face neutral with sobel when he says 'what infractions sir?' and sobel says 'find some'#3 bc i could watch it all day... how does Lipton look so hot just moving his face like that???#4 bc there's no heterosexual explanation for this scene and i love these two being sexy goofballs together#5 bc it's the moment that almost single-handedly made Toye one of my earliest fave characters#6 bc that is literally Nix's expression when he sees Dick smiling tenderly at him... enough said#7 bc the early foreshadowing kills me UGHHH#8 bc he's pretty and glowing and there's that glimmer of mischief in his eyes#9 bc Harry is my most precious beloved wifeguy and goddamn what a smile#10 bc god it breaks my heart every time
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Loki and his severe self esteem issues
Something I don't think we as a fandom discuss enough is the moment where Loki casually says "my life was a waste of time" to Mobius in s2ep6, I kinda understand that bc the finale was so traumatazing to some people that they only watched it once and tried their best to not think about it for too long
But this moment stuck with me because he says it with such calmness, there's no bite in his words, no sarcasm, no irony, he truly believes that, he thinks his whole life was a waste of time and this is so incredibly heartbreaking, at that point he already spent centuries trying to fix the loom only to learn it was a failsafe, centuries of his life wasted on a mission that lead to nothing, he probably think his life on the sacred timeline was a waste of time too, I'm so sure he'd do everything different if he could go back there, I'm sure he looks at all the things he did with so much shame and regret, a life wasted with jealousy and bitterness and acting out to get attention of others while being desperate for his father's approval and wanting to be Thor's equal
Even though he only acted that way because of his own trauma too, abandoned as a baby, adopted by a man who had a political agenda in mind when he took him and who made Loki feel unfit and inferior his whole life, raised in a society that looked down at all the things that made him him (magic, tricks, preference for diplomacy instead of fist fighting etc), Loki grew up in a hostile enviroment that only made him insecure and alone, he has severe self esteem issues and all he wanted his whole life was to be accepted and loved by his people and most of all by his father, he chased that approval in the wrong ways and now that he's mature and wiser he understands that but it's still so sad to see him talking about himself like that
He dedicated centuries of his life to doing the right thing, to saving the multiverse and making sure everyone would be safe, he made friends, he became kind and selfless and somehow he still thinks his existence was a mistake, his insecurities are so deep and internalized that I'm afraid he'll never truly be free of them, I wish someone hugged him very tight and told him how amazing and important he is, that his mistakes in the past don't define who he is now and that they're proud of how far he came in his journey
Loki's existence was the greatest gift the multiverse could've asked for, without him everyone would still be part of hwr's schemes and the tva would still be taking away people's free will, I hope his mind changed after the making of Yggdrasil and that he starts looking at himself with more compassion and love bc he deserves it more than anyone at this point
#loki#loki laufeyson#loki series#god of stories#loki meta#loki season 2#loki season two#loki odinson#loki of asgard#tva loki#the way he says that breaks my heart jnto a million pieces omg that episode destroyed me on so many levels#he deserved so much better#someone please hug him#he deserves to know how loved he is#he's my baby I can't take this anymore#odin allfather#odin
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Can we get some Dark Dan and Jazz?
oh you absolutely can. these siblings are not alright.
#danny phantom#danny phantom fanart#dp#dp fanart#dan phantom#jazz fenton#dark danny#hahaha god *head in hands*#i think half my soul subsists on krossan’s art of these two being wholesome#but their canon interactions ripped my heart out and still do#ney’s art#ney’s comics#oh and don’t tag as ship etc etc#you all know the drill right?#breaking the style consistency and also this isn’t technically a doodle…#right when i said i was gonna do them consistently too. like IMMEDIATELY#but... c'mon man the scene is so iconic#jazz’s eyes were just the tiiiiniest bit wonky so uh. fixed that i think#jasmine fenton
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FIN
~~*~~
"I know," she sighed, "But you won't be here when I wake up and I really wish you could be." Her voice caught and the tears that she never let come to the surface were pooling in her eyes. If ever a girl needed her big brother, now was the time. But he wasn't here. He was probably off on some mission for her family. Risking his life for the absurdity of their beliefs even though, if he was still like she remembered, he didn't really buy it either.
She did close her eyes when he ran his finger down her nose. It was a strange memory to have come back. She was little. No more than seven. And her mother had just told her a bedtime story that was really just explaining what their family did. Willow had gotten in trouble because she had expressed how awful it was to kill innocent creatures. She equated it to stepping on a worm that had crawled onto the sidewalk and couldn't find it's way back to the dirt. Her mother had slapped her for being mouthy. But Warren, he sat with her after the fact. He listened to what she said. Willow's eyes never opened again as she was finally drug under into the memory that was half dream. Her lips moved but barely a sound came out in the same response she had given him all those years ago, "Will you stay with me in the dark?"
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Ghost & Medium AU Drabble - The Necromancing Medium
Remember how I said I had an idea? That was angst and heartbreaking? This is the idea :D Again, still not sure if they will become a whole series thing.
The drabble is both a thank you for everyone being nice and drawing stuff and writing stuff! And also because I had an idea and as all of you know. I don't have self control :D
This one again includes a lot of my own headcanons for this idea/AU and even Dust. The most obvious one that I should probably mention? That Ash is the older brother and Dust is the younger brother.
Anyway. How Dust got so into necromancy and medium stuff and the tragedy that was his and his older brother's life.
WARNINGS: Child death. Survivor's guilt. implied child abuse. Child Neglect. Mention and implied child harrassment and molestation. attempt at child grooming (the bad BAD kind). technically attempted suicide. nothing is graphic or overexplained but it is implied and slightly mentioned.
I am serious. This one is angst and trauma filled and I am trying to not make it too triggering for anyone but please be careful, mind the warnings and if you aren't 18+ don't read.
*------------------*
Dust rubs his hands down his pants and checks the circle he made.
This has to work.
It just has too.
If this doens't work then... then...
Dust quickly grabs the book near him and squints his sockets at the writen words. It is old and written in another language but Dust has figured out most of it.
He is very lucky the library is open for eveyrone or else he would not have had a place to reasearch... or sleep... or wash up...
It doesn't matter. This ritual should fix everything.
Ash appears near him and glares at the drawn circle "Oh for crying out loud. Not another one of these."
Dust hugs the book closely "This one will be different..." It has to be.
Ash sighs as he floats near Dust "look... I appreciate it.. but i don't want to feel like i am being thorn apart again okay? It is about to rain soon anyway...." he looks up.
Dust nods "It has to rain..."
After all... it had rained the day Ash was murdered. It is part of the ritual to help the soul return.
Ash sighs and shakes his floating skull. He is clearly disappointed.
Dust frowns and tries to focus on the circle he is making. It has to be perfect. How else will he get Ash back?
He still remembers it so clearly.
Dust waits in his room for Ash to return from his after school activities. He is the star gymnastic at school and has a scholarship lined up for him for when he goes to college and to continue training.
Dust knows that it is just a matter of time before Ash is requested for the olympics. Ash is just that amazing! Even at fifteen Ash is many times better than most!
Dust himself doesn't have any after school activities. He normally just watches Ash and walks home with Ash afterwards. Dust gets why of course. He has no talents whatsoever. His parents have told him that many times.
At least Ash likes having him around and giving him ideas for tricks!
Dust looks at the clock and frowns. It is well past dinner time... their parents having gone out for food themselves.
He... he had hoped that when Ash got back Ash and him could make something together. ash had been teaching him how to cook. Said that it was an important skill for him to learn even if he was only ten.
More time passes. No one comes home.
It is half past eleven when the front door opens and Dust peaks out only to quickly disappear into his room again. His parents are home. Why isn't Ash home yet? Did he have another meetup? extra training? Did he go out wiht friends?
He goes to sleep uneasy and hungry.
His guts twist together and his dreams quickly form. Visions of lives never his own. of the restless spirits who try to speak to him and pull him along. Take his body and his energy.
Ash is the only one who believes him. When Dust told him that Dust hadn't thrown over the glass vase but a ghost had done it. When something went missing Dust swore he hadn't touched it. No one ever believed him. Except Ash.
The Dreams change and suddenly Ash stands before him. Looking angry.
Dust doesn't get it... Why is Ash angry? Ash is never angry with him.
Dust reaches for him "Ash?"
Ash pulls away from him. He looks furious "find me."
Dust blinks but takes a step away from his brother "what?"
Ash groans and waves out his arms "Find me! Use your stupid powers and find me!"
Dust doesn't understand. Why would he need to find him? "But.. you were at practise?"
Ash groans "Fuck you are just so stupid sometimes!"
That hurts and Dsut hugs himself "I... I will search?"
Ash goes to say something else but then he is gone.
Then Dust wakes up. it is still early but he grabs his few school things and escapes the house before his parents wake up. He rushes to school and looks around. Searching.
He isn't sure what he is searching for. But if Ash tells him he needs to find him he can. He will figure out why Ash would appear in his dreams like other spirits but that is for later. He needs to find his brother. Maybe he got locked in somewhere? Or maybe he got hurt and can't move?!
Dust rushes towards the gym
He quickly gets inside but every light is still off. Everything is cleaned up and empty. Then again it is only 6 and the morning workouts don't start until half past 6.
Still. Dust rushes towards the locker rooms and searching both sides. Finding nothing there he searches the toilets next before returning to the empty gym.
"Dust! what are you doing here?"
Dust jumps and turns quickly. It is the coach. Dust can never remember his name and honestly he never wants to. Dust... doesnt like being near the other. Something about him is off. Maybe it is because the spirits seem to glare at the coach whenever they pass. Maybe it is because Dust thinks the man stares too long when his brother practised.
Dust told Ash once. How he doesn't like Coach and how the spirits dislike him too. Ash had just smiled and said that Coach was actually always very nice and took them all serious and treated them as adults.
Dust shrugs at the teacher as the other waits for a reply. He mutters a weak excuse "wanted to see brother practise..." he rubs his arm.
Every spirit is screaming at him. He doesn't understand what they say. he thinks spirits need to be strong for him to be able to hear or see them but he can feel them still. The spirits are tugging at him. To go. to leave. to go with them? Dust doesn't know what they want.
Coach nods "I see! I am sorry to disappoint. I haven't seen your brother yet. Not since yesterday morning practise!"
Dust frowns "Ash doesn't skip." Ash never skips. He has more determination than anyone.
Coach nods "I agree. I was going to see if Ash joins us for practise today. If he didn't i was planning on calling your parents. Do you wish to wait with me?"
Dust shakes his skull "No that is okay... I am going to keep searching..." and he rushes out of the door before Coach can answer.
Dust can't believe he was that stupid. two years and he still feels like kicking himself in the skull for not seeing it sooner. To not realise it sooner. Maybe if he had noticed the obvious clues...
Ash wouldn't... He wouldn't have...
It doesn't matter.
Dust lays down another line and checks the ritual in the book. That all looks right and the same. He nods and reaches for his necklace.
Ash looks alarmed "Hey! What are you doing? Stop that my dust is in there!"
Dust freezes and mutters "I don't need all of it... just a tiny bit for the ritual..."
Ash looks deeply unhappy as he mutters "But it makes sure i am anchored to you still... at least until you can do the whole haunting bond thing."
Dust shrugs "if this works you won't need to anchor to your dust or me anymore." this will fix eveyrthing. He will make it right.
Ash looks unsure but floats near him as he gets things ready.
The news of Ash's disappearance shook the school. Dust swore he searched everywhere! He tried to get answers from Ash in his dreams but all the dream Ash told him was to 'search' and to 'actually think for once.'.
His parents were inconsolable. Neither were the teaches adn other students. Ash was loved. Ash was wanted. Ash had a bright future ahead of him.
Dust... Dust was lucky that Ash liked him...
Though... dream Ash didn't like him at all it seemed... dream Ash was just angry at him.
Dust knew what they whispered of course. It wasn't as if anyone tried to hide it. People spoke about how it was a shame that Ash had disappeared. How it was a shame it hadn't been Dust instead.
Dust tried not to let it bother him. He was always the weird kid. He had always been the weird kid. He spoke to people not there. strange things happened around him. Dust seemed to lie about thingsthat he obviously did because no one else was near to could ahve caused it.
He hadn't cared much before even if it hurt to not be believed becuase at least Ash had believed him.
His parents hadn't been for whispers however. They just looked at him and sneered that it should ahve been him who disappeared. not their dear golden boy who had such a bright future and would have made them proud. instead they were stuck with him, the disappointing freak.
Dust hadnt gone home since Ash didn't return home.
others whispered that Ash ran away.
But Dust knew that wasn't the case! It couldn't be! Ash... Ash wouldn't just leave! Not without him!
When their parents argued and on nights after they yelled at him. Ash would hold him close. promise that once he was old enough the two of them would just disappear. that Dust just had to be patient. Once Ash went to college he would take Dust wiht him and they would never have to see their parents ever again.
Ash... ash wouldn't break that promise. Ash was honest! Ash kept his promises! always!
Dust sobs as he hides beneath the seats. Hiding.
"Dust? Waht are you doing here?"
Dust blinks through the tears and looks up. He sobs as he pushes himself upright. Ash. Ash. IT IS ASH! He jumps to hug him only to go right through him and land in the mud leftover from the rain.
He turns and realises... he had been so focussed on his face that... that is only a floating skull and hands... but... but that can't be...
Ash flickers in and out of view. He moves his mouth clearly speaking but Dust can't hear anymore.
No... no no no no. He needs to tell people. Something terrible happened to Ash!
Dust finishes the last view lines and reads the information given in the book.
Ash frowns as he flies over and around it "It looks complex... Waht ritual is this even?"
Dust rechecks the text "A Life force transfer."
Ash blinks and turns sharply "what?"
Dust nods as he checks the different tinier circles to signify where eveyrone has to stand "I think... the reason why the other spells failed was because you don't have enough life force. which i think is just soul energy. You died and are just your left over soul energy now. that affects how you look and everything. It is why we need to anchor you with your dust." he taps his pendant. "Which is why we even use this."
Ash frowns and looks at the ritual considerate "So what... you think we just need to boost my life force and i may be able to be resurrected?"
Dust nods "That is the plan."
Ash frowns "I don't know about this Dust... stealing someone else's life?"
Dust shrugs "It is fine. The one who gives it needs to be willing."
Ash snrots and shakes his skull "Who would be an idiot big enough to give their life force awya freely?"
Dust shrugs "don't worry... i got that part of the ritual covered. Mind going over there? I need to check if the runes to transfer the energy to you would work."
No one believed him.
Everyone just looked at him with pity when he told them he saw his brother's spirit.
that his brother had been murdered or got into an accident.
He wouldn't have left him otherwise!
No one believed him. No one.
The funeral was terrible. He hated every second of it as they jsut spoke some words. They didn't even have his brother's dust to spread on his favourite things.
his parents wanted to do a burial. Even though Dust knew Ash hated the idea of being underground. All that meant was that most things important to Ash were being burried.
forever out of reach. Now he can't even get comfort out of those things.
Dust goes home wiht his parents but neither look at him beyond this dirty look. Dust doesn't care. He has a mission.
His brother's spirit is weak. very weak. He can do some rituals to strengthen it maybe. normally offerings and stuff like that works to get spirits to be stronger, at least for a little while.
If Dust wants to find his brother he needs to do that.
He grabs what he needs and goes back to the school. It is where Ash spend most of his time and most liekly has the strongest imprint of him. Not to forget dust saw him on the sport field. He gets there and makes the offering.
A flicker. Dust smiles but Ash just looks panicked. Telling him to go. let him go as well.
Dust shakes his head. he can't let go of Ash.
Ash is still too weak to say a lot but a tiny bit gets through "... stay away... coach..."
oh. it is so obvious! Of course the creepy coach had something to do with it! Dust stands up and looks at the gym. So that is where the answers lie. Ash looks more panicked but Dust just smiles at him "It is okay Ash... I swear i will fix this!"
He will find out what happened. make sure Coach got what he deserved for hurting his brother and then... then... Ash can move on... Ash will be able to rest...
Ash will leave him...
No. don't think like that. Ash deserves to move on. Ash deserves to find peace! even if it means Dust will lose him forever. He won't force Ash to become a wandering restless spirit.
Ash is shaking his skull at him and trying to keep him from going towards the gym. That is fair. it ist still night. He will need a better timing for this. luckily it is the weekend soon and he will be able to get to work.
Dust nods and smiles "ther. everything is in place."
Ash frowns as he floats above it "so let me be clear." he points to one spot "this is the spot of the life force giver." he floats to another spot "This is the spot of the life force gainer, me?" Dust nods and Ash floats to the small circle wiht the tiny bit of dust "why is the dust needed?"
Dust looks to the side "To make your body... I had to combine the ritual to give you life force and to give you a body... otherwise you would just get m- the giver's body and i doubted you like that."
Ash blinks and snorts "I thought you tod me that performing two rituals at once is too dangerous for mixups or to drain you." he grins at him "You can be so forgetful sometimes."
Dumb and stupid and useless-
Dust shrugs "It is better if it is done at once..." he mutters softer "only get one chance at this..."
Ash frowns at him and flaots over "hey... i know i made a big deal of the whole... it hurting thing before... but if you mess up and mix up words we can try again." he grins "I am already dead anyway. can't get much deader!"
Dust shrugs "maybe..." No. there is only one chance at this. It has to be perfect.
He gets one chance at this.
Dust stands before the office of the coach and takes a deep breath. trying to ignore the panicked flickering vision of his brother.
He was such an idiot. his brother had tried to warn him before in his dreams. yet Dust hadn't seen the signs. if he had done this that day... Ash may still be alive.
It is oaky though. Dust can do this.
He knocks on the door.
everything in the air is screaming at him. spirits of his past victims maybe? All trying to warn him to run and hide. Dust will not let his brother become just another wandering spirit. stuck to this disgusting excuse of a person.
The door opens and the coach gives a wide smile "Dust! I am so happy to see you. How are you doing? The news of your brother must have devastated you."
Dust nods and mutters "I miss him.. a lot.. but he liked gymnastics... i was wondering... could i get some training?"
The man blinks before his smile grows and he looks very excited "of course! It is an amazing thing to want to connect with your brother that way. such a grown up thing to do to!" he steps aside.
Dust is about to take a step when ash appears in the doorway. his arms crossed and him shaking his skull.
Dust takes a deep breath and walks into the office.
Coach and him... talk... it is mostly about ash. How ash was so far ahead of everyone. the hardest worker and how he was admired by everyone around him. How he enchanted people.
Dust agrees of course. his brother is the best. Which is why he is here.
Coach mentions that it may be hard for Dust to do what Ash did. As ash was older and had been training from a young age. But that he was willing to give Dust private lessons and tutoring to get him ona level where he can safely join the others in class. That the Coach would be happy to guide him and teach him anything he could want.
Dust mutters it sounds interesting and that he just wants to be closer to Ash. at least feel closer to him again.
The coach smiles and petted his shoulder as he stood behind him, it raised every instinct in Dust to run but he stayed put. The coach muttered about how that was a very grown up and honourable thing to do. Asking him again how old he was.
Dust answered truthfully that he is ten and the coach hummed "You act much older." he smirks.
Dust mentions that he should go to class but the coach just pats his shoulder. saying that he will have a word with his teachers and see if Dust can skip a few days of class to get some training and practise in. get those private classes started right away.
Dust eaisly agreed and nodded when the coach told him to stay put before he rushed out.
Dust immediantly got off his chair and started to search through the office. It didn't take long until he found a locked drawer. another weak spirit. one of a young human girl appeared before him. and held up numbers wiht her fingers. 4. 5. 3. 9.
Dust entered the numbers and the lock springs open. He looks inside and finds a file and a camera. He takes out his own old phone, a gift from Ash for emergencies. and takes a picture of what he found.
then he looks through the file and... oh... oh god.
Dust shakes as he feels vomit crawl up his throat. No. focus. he aims his camera and snaps a picture. Of every picture in there. of every child in tears and bond as the coach... touches... them...
He is shaking by the end before he reaches for the camera. searching and snapping pictures.
Find him. find him. find him. he has to-
found him.
Dust manages to take a picture before refering to his very first picture. he places everything back in the same place nad relocks the lock. and then he waits.
The coach returns with his homeroom teacher who gently reminds him that he can't just skip classes to learn gymnastic. but that he could look into getting him into it as a past school activity.
Dust nods nad mutters that he understands. trying to remain calm and hoping everything about him just screams disappointed over sick to the stomach.
He walks out of the office phycially fine.
But this isn't the end. He has one more thing to do.
Ash yawns as he looks up at the sky "Rain is still coming."
Dust hums "need rain. It was raining when you left your body. Need stuff to be alike."
Ash hums as he floats near the book wiht a frown "Hey Dust."
Dust nods "yeah?"
Ash speaks "I am not fluent in this language... what does this whole paragraph about pain passing?"
Dust feels his hand shake but forces it still "oh... it is part of the life force ritual... the giver... gives the life force... but to make it work to strengthen the one who gets it... well. the trauma of the one receiving it needs to go... so when the life force gets given the one who gives also takes the pain of the other... so waht they felt when they died. i think." Dust isn't looking forwards to that part. but maybe it is for the better.
After all.
It would ahve been better if Dust had died instead of Ash.
He is just righting a wrong.
He doesn't take this information to the teachers. or his parents. or the principle.
Dust walks 10 miles towards the police station. He goes right to the man at the reception and laid down his phone "Got the proof you needed that my brother was murdered."
It would be an udnerstatement to say that brought chaos.
The policeman behind the counter had at first looked amused but then he grabbed his phone adn started to scroll through the pictures. Each one making the other look more horrified.
Dust was rushed into a room with a very nice lady who asked him if he had any allergies or any health issues. Dust shook his skull.
another policeman returned with his phone and thanked him for his brave actions and that he was asking a lot of him that he would need to continue to be brave.
Dust didn't see it as being brave but answered the questions. Why he searched. He was honest. They looked sceptical when he mentioned ghosts.
Dust was ready to start crying. after everything. everything he did. would they not believe him? He was being honest. he doesn't know what else to do and-
And something had appeared on the white board. a pen floating and slowly writing the words "My brother is right. I am here. please... please listen..."
if there was chaos before it was nothing compared to this. the people working there got to work in a frenzy. They send people to the school to investigate. they called in professionals from the bigger cities and priests as well.
They asked him so many questions. if the coach had hurt him. if he had seen anything else. noticed anything.
Dust told them what he knew and noticed before just having to wait.
An high priest of some church came by. someone who could speak wiht spirits. the priest took one look around the room and spoke about how there are many spirits nearby. the priest than looked at Dust and nodded. saying it is nice to meet a new medium. something about him having talent for it and being a strong medium.
Dust didn't feel strong. he said as much. if he had been strong he would have known ages ago that something was seriously wrong with the coach.
The priest tells him he did amazing. more than amazing. but that this burden shouldn't have been his. that others should have notified people specialised in things in this nature as soon as Dust showed promise.
In the end it was anticlimatic. the coach was thrown in prison but he wouldn't admit where he hid Ash's body.
In the end Ash showed Dust where he ahd been burried. right under the playing field. and there were more hallow graves under there.
Dust hadn't been able to stop himself. as soon as the thing holding his brother's remains had opened he had thrown himself in. Only dust. of course there was only dust and left over clothes left.
scratching marks on the coffin. Ash had tried to get out...
Dust finally cries.
Dust nods and steps back "all ready. Ash? can you go to your spot?"
Ash floats over lazily "finally. I am honestly getting impatient. I think you actually got this one Dust." Ash looks excited "It would be awesome to be alive again."
Dust smiles as he slowly inches towards his spot "You could pick up gymnastics again?"
Ash groans "maybe. Coach kinda ruined that experience though... but college is still fun. What do you think? Think i can still be a cook?" he grins "You can also go back to highschool then. actually finish your own schooling."
Dust smiles as he gets near the offering circle "of course you could."
Ash nods as he looks around "so... who did you manage to convince to give over the life force and stuff? Someone already sick? someone very old?" Ash grins at him.
Dust is hoenstly trying to smile for his brother. but he is so scared. his whole arm is shaking.
Ash frowns "Dust?"
Dust takes a deep breath and steps in his circle.
Ash's sockets widen "what are you doing?! Get the fuck out of there!" he goes to fly over but the circle keeps him in his spot. a safety meassurement. It had been to make sure ash didn't accidentally leave his circle.
Dust slowly raises his hands as he tries to keep his panicking soul calm "it is okay... should be quick."
Ash shakes and looks furious "NO! YOu get out of that circle right now or so help me! I don't agree with this! I don't! This is not willing! I don't want this!"
the ritual circle that had all been glowing a soft green turns red and Dust can feel the affect that had been slowly starting to take place stop. Dust stares down adn glares at Ash "what are you doing? I am fixing things!"
Ash shakes his skull "this isn't fixing shit! You would be dead!"
Dust glares "So?! Everyone would be hapyp with it!"
silence around them.
Ash reaches for him "Dusty..."
Dust shakes as he tries to calm his shaking. stop being dramatic. you are twelve now. get over it. Ash can come back now. as seventeen and still pick up his life again.
Don't ruin this.
Dust rubs the tear away as he mutters "Just let me fix this..."
Ash shakes his skull "I don't want this..."
Dust glares "since when not!? You are always telling me how much you miss being alive. How much you wished you could ahve just amde a run for it when you were alive! How you would eat better food! Visit cooler places! Actually go to college and make something of your life!" Dust shakes "I know this is wasted on me... This chance... jsut take it!" he is shaking and crying "Just let me fix this... let me do soemthing that makes you love me again..."
The shaking gets to back and Dust just grumbles to the ground. He is so tired. everything is hard and no one likes him. No one trusts him. His parents left him as soon as Dust had to stay at the police station. Is it so bad? so bad that he just wnats his brother to love him again? if only for a few moments? and then just sleep forever?
the glow disappears as his concentration breaks and Dust tries to pull hismelf together. Rub his tears from his sockets as he tries to mutter the start of the spell again.
He feels Ash close and he flinches "sorry... i can do it and..."
"don't... please don't..." Ash looks heartbroken as he floats near him "damnit i wish i coudl hug you..."
Dust sobs and nods "me too..." his last hug was the mornign before Ash went to that last faithful practise.
Ash speaks softly "you don't ahve to fix anything..."
Dust shakes his skull "but if i hadn't been so dumb i would have known it were other victims. i could have warned you!"
Ash just shakes his skull "Not your fault."
Dust sobs "If... if i had searched faster i could ahve found you sooner."
ash shakes his skull again.
Dust looks downa dn mutters "i messed something up... and now you can't move on... I keep you stuck here because i don't want to be alone..."
Ash snorts and shakes his skull "Dust... you did everything right. You got my murderer brought to justice and you guys found my remains. I had felt it. I had been able to move on right then and there but... well..." he looks at dust "I wasn't going to leave you after that.."
dust looks down and rubs his tear angry "so... you feel like you ahve to stay because i am weak and pathetic..." he needs to do this ritual. give ash the life he deserves and-
Ash laughs "no you dum-dum." he grins "I am here because i don't want to move on without you." Ash floats around him and rests on his skull. Dust can't feel pressure from him but he feels the energy of his brother near "there was no way i was going to leave you because i don't want to leave you. It is just as much for me as it is for you dusty. You are my brother."
Dust feels hismefl relax "i am sorry."
Ash gently hushes him "hush. No need to feel sorry, well aside form the fact you scared the unliving daylight out of me. Promise me you will never do something this stupid ever again. No giving your life or soul or any of that or the energy of either to others. you hear me?!"
Dust laughs and nods "promise..."
Ash hums "good. Now. Mess up this ritual circle thing. and burn the pages of the book detailing it."
Dust frowns "but what if we actually ened it and-"
Ash hushes him "no. None of that. No life force trading."
Dust sighs but does as told. messes up his circle. retrieves his brother's dust. and he uses a lighter to burn the page of the book holding the ritual.
Ash nods "much better."
Dust sighs as he starts to leave the forest "I don't know any other way to bring you back."
Ash shrugs as he floats with him "we aren't in a hurry."
dust frowns "you will miss things you could do in life?"
Ash grins "that is the great part. you can always catch up. I don't ened to be young to go to college. to start to learn how to cook. or any of that." he floats around him and it now looks like they are both wearing the red scarf "so no hurry."
DUst sighs and nods before muttering "we are going to have to find a stronger anchor for you. at least until i am old and strong enough to be the anchor myself."
Ash nods "much better. Time yo go to our favourite spot the library and do some research. AFTER! You ate and showered. You are soaking wet and don't think i didn't notice you skipped breakfast again."
Dust nods and sets into the right direction. Maybe one day he will figure it out. For now he will jsut learn what he can.
*------------------*
#utmv#ghosts & medium au#dust sans#dusttale papyrus#I do hope you guys took the warning tags seriously!#Also seriously if i missed a warning let me know okay?#We are done!#God i wrote that in one go#My poor hands#also my foot because i have been sitting on that fucker while i typed this over the last *checks time* two and a half hours#So yeah!#Did i break any hearts :3#Also.#dream ash?#wasn't actually ash#It was his mind making an image because his sould noticed ash's death#But mix that with everyone treating him poorly and the immediate guilt?#you get asshole ghost papyrus (who was jsut a dream)#Real ash was jsut so fucking worried for his littel brother getting near this veyr bad person#Ghosts & mediums Dust and Ash went through it and have a lot of trauma.
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do not speak to me for i am sobbing over bloodfest :(
#hannibal lecter#nbc hannibal#soundtrack#mizumono#will graham#hannigram#brian reitzell#most emptiest I have ever felt watching a tv episode holy shit#hannibal’s voice when he said I let you know me :(( DO YOU HEAR MY HEART BREAKING OMFG#do not get me started on this track from that scene as well holy mother of god it’s nUMBING#bloodfest from mizumono#bloodfest#hannibal season two#hannibal
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Holy cow there’re a lot and I really do mean A LOT of Welcome Home AUs, and more coming too. Not saying it’s a bad thing, but it makes sense considering WH doesn’t have a lot to work with so it leaves tons of room for fans to play around with. I just hope it doesn’t get outta hand like what happened to Undertale with its AUs.
People are free to have creative liberty on what aus they wanna make- like you said there is very little canon content to munch on so people will pull a “fine I’ll do it myself” JCHFHDHU-
I personally don’t mind it as well, but I do enjoy the aus where they purposely change Wally’s height just to make him more simp-able LMAOO
#Personally all my aus (like 3-4-? Honestly kinda just one aka mob the others are off brands LMAO) Wally are all still the same height#Except Yakuza Wally#He’s a single apple taller#Used god like powers to gain a single inch of height#Home wouldn’t allow any more smhhhhhh#Iv seen a lot of aus but personally I’m a big fan of the more jokey/light hearted non serious ones#Like this one whole au is just Wally being high LMAOOOO#Iv been tempted to make a au just called “Wally commits tax evasion/fraud” for like two weeks now#Oh I also love gangster au (joke au please don’t take this seriously) from toonz#Stunning amazing brilliant perfect show stopping-#More serious is probably greyscale#Mostly cause one: dadpa biased-#And two it’s a really cool concept with hella lotta drama for it (gotta love me some broken ass peeps)#But yeah as long as people don’t start making really sus aus/breaking clowns boundaries in the au verse we should be fine#Cause lort fuggin knows that they will be harassed to oblivion for it JDHDHDDH
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Wyll breaking up with the player character if Ulder dies so Wyll must become the Duke makes me wanna throw up sobbing because he actually thinks that just because his father's first duty being to Baldur's Gate made him a Bad Father that Wyll himself will inevitably be a Bad Lover because surely no one could match love with duty if his father couldn't, unknowing he has more love in one hand than his father had in his entire body. fuck
#More in my reblog#“my father taught me more lessons than I can count” yeah dog they were called CAUTIONARY TALES 😭😭😭#“pull me too close and I'm destined to hurt you” FUCKIGN. BITING YOU#“a champion's heart is as sharp as a new blade” SO CRAZY I GOT THIS SICK ASS ARMOUR. TRY ME.#I'm actually in physical pain over this. Wyll my love.#I need to rip ulder in two with my bare hands right now.#sorry I JUST saw the breakup scene for the first time today and I haven't stopped thinking about it it's making me ill with sadness#he didn't even break up with ME but it fucking feels like it goddamn#bg3#Wyll Ravengard#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate 3#bg3 analysis#oh my GOD and the fact that he offers one last dance. I'mgoing to ufckingexplode#and he spends five whole seconds just. holding the character. not even dancing.#I watched the version with him and astarion ofc I don't romance wyll myself (lesbianism)#makes me wanna write a fucking fic (derogatory)#why the fuck is everyone so ill over astarion when mr insane mental health issues is RIGHT here (i know why. but still)
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nordia u will always be famous
#i think if i spent 5 minutes chatting with margaret id be cured#moving on to these two immortal hot messes. sleeper ship of a lifetime fr#cannot even begin to describe how insane these two have made me#margaret skyjacks#gable skyjacks#travis skyjacks#oh god i forgot to mention that i finished 179 and it made my heart break but also feel so full#the dread i felt for the last 10 episodes was unparalleled#skyjacks#mine
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[vibrating a little too fast] Do You Understand My Vision Yet
#twst#twisted wonderland#cereal tries to draw#cater diamond#jade leech#trey clover#and some other guys but this aint about them#girl i do not even begin to know how to tag this one#trejeikei. treycayjay. caterjadetrey. girl fucking help#i still subscribe to jade having a crush on both of them at the same time and Being Weird About It lol#my fave thing in fanart is w/octavinelle if anyone is drawing shipping art of one of them with someone#the other two being either confused or disgusted or just bullying for fun about it#and then my other favorite is riddle being pissed as hell finding out his beloved card soldier besties are turning to the dark side#fraternizing with the enemy. [kissing a fish boy]#cater and trey both picking octavinelle for their union bday dorm choice is still so funny to me#AND THEN RIDDLE WENT AND PICKED JADE FOR HIS THEORETICAL BROTHER CHOICE LOL god dont even get me started on them#i am also obsessed with jade and riddles dynamic but god. no time for dat now goku.#cater voice hey siri what do u do when a boy holds ur hand and Wont Let Go#i love trey but i feel like i only ever draw him as a tiny head icon w/someone else talking about him fkshfkldshf#i mean ive drawn him in more things sometimes. usually treycay. i just dont post him very much#idk why hes so hard to draw LOL#i passively enjoy treyjade i think i used to look it up more in early twst days#but i ALSO like them both with CATER A LOT and u know me. love to tape characters together. into the polycule soup with you boy.#anyway in that first one cay i think was like 'wow jade kinda never expected u and trey to get together lol no offense -'#and jades like 🤝 well i dont mind sharing 😌#SHARING WHAT- theyre all holding hands now the end :]#riddle voice if u break cater and/or treys hearts it is On Sight jade leech#jade voice teehee well we wouldnt want that ill do my best 😌#riddle is not convinced.#anyway shoutout to ME and the like 1-2 people this might appeal to lol
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i still can't get over this....that's a CHILD.....................STEVE'S LIKE HIS WW2 PARENTAL FIGURE. HIS SUPER DAD. HE WAS A CHILD SOLDIER I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS LIKE THIS
#his big brother his big cool super brother steve#i only knew baby bucky from like the old timey cap comics so this DID break my heart he was in WORLD WAR TWO#AS A BABY....AS A NON SUPERPOWERED BABY WITH A DOMINO MASK#and then he got BLOWN UP and THROWN INTO THE OCEAN and BRAINWASHED as a TEEN#NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bucky......................bucky.............................#kayvswords#BUCKY..............#WAIT OH MY GOD. THIS IS THE BUCKY THAT GETS ALPINE.....HE DESERVES THIS
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Would Diegesis and Pages get along? What about Liam and the Academic?
Diegesis, maybe go ask a Spirifer for something to eat before you try that again.
[Bonus Panel with Lee and The Academic over here.]
#nonplatonic forms#Fallen London#Diegesis#Mr Pages#comics#Either this is the most widely requested question#or one person is going to be very happy with this week's comic.#Anyway gods kind of work in the reverse in Fallen London#Their gaze shapes reality#But in NPF gods are subject to the human gaze as they are aggregate concepts#Anyway I think it makes sense that I had to break my two-panel rule for these windbags#You're all just lucky that this comic isn't a 10k word essay#But yeah Diegesis would try to put the fear of god in Pages#His morals may be questionable but he's falling for Lee so#yeah the guy loves weird little art with all his inhuman heart#He'd rip Censorship apart with his teeth if the concept was left alone in a room with him
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Why I think c!Dream is Autistic - Part 2
[Part 1] - [Part 2] - [Part 3]
If you haven’t read part 1 (eventhough I did try and write these as like separate things) I do recommend you go do that...
Did you do it? Hi hello, welcome back. :) Okay, now having gone over general traits, let’s talk more about the second part of my original statement [post]: “c!Dream is autistic and the consequential misunderstanding and miscommunication is a root of all the problems and conflicts” which I have covered a bit already [here].
So, because we think differently, communication and social interaction is often at the heart of a lot of our struggles (after my diagnosis at 20 I realized just how many of the conflicts in my past came down to this). Me and my therapist like to make the comparison that because autistic people’s brains are structured differently it is as if we are speaking a different language and as a result it ends with things being misinterpreted. Because as we all can recognize, when a language isn’t someone’s first, there are times when things don’t come across properly. Both because of perhaps a lack of words, different slang, tone, culture… etc. When you don’t take translation into consideration, it leads to miscommunication and misunderstanding as a lot of poor assumptions are made and conflict is often the result, especially because our inclination is to think the worst of people. [funnily enough here’s a great example between some anons about translation and communication 1 -> 2 -> 3]
As such, while autistic people have issues communicating with neurotypicals, we often don’t have issues communicating with each other - we speak the same language. So, it isn’t that we are any worse at communication in general than everyone else (in other words Dream is not the sole one to blame here), it’s that we are struggle to communicate with the neurotypical like we are speaking two different languages without even realizing it, so of course we struggle to understand each other.
I think (hopefully lol) we can all agree that the root of the dsmp conflict is miscommunication and not understanding each other. But the thing is, miscommunication in the standard sense, in our day to day life or in the climax of a romantic comedy is about the absence of communicating, like Quackity not talking to his fiances. It is to have information, an opinion, view or assumption that goes unsaid and then leads to struggle just because it was never talked out. However, in Dream’s case it isn’t that he doesn’t talk it out or not share his side of the story, because he does. He does a lot, he does communicate, how else could Dream apologists understand him even before the finale without his own pov detailing his thoughts.
He does talk about it but his autistic mind is using logic and facts against an emotional response leading to him being unheard. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter whether tyrant is the right word, they are just expressing their feelings of being controlled by a larger power, but Dream is too focused on pulling out the literal definition and the facts to see the real issue at hand - that they feel controlled and overshadowed by him. So they think Dream doesn’t care, and Dream thinks their points don't matter because their facts were wrong and no understanding is reached. Dream can use logic all day - Why would someone not want to escape a prison they were being tortured in? Why would someone make a prison and then plan on putting someone in an unfortified 1x1 hole in the wall? How can I be the tyrant when Eret is literally the king? How can I steal the discs if they were literally given to me after a fair duel? - but against people just spewing words out of anger, hurt, feelings of abandonment it isn’t going to make a difference.
Perhaps one of the most notable and tragic examples of this is George’s dethronement, in the aftermath of Techno’s attack and the Spirit speech, where Dream meets Sapnap’s and George’s emotions with logic and facts. (See [here] for full transcript, the following is trimmed down from two different vids)
[18:54] George: “Why—why do you think- why do you think I shouldn’t be king anymore?” Dream: “I think that… you would be safer if you were not, right?”
[23:56] Dream: “You’ll just be targeted if you’re the king, and you wanna be able to like, get revenge on Tommy and stuff, right? So, we can like work to—We can work together. Me and you.” George: “Hm. Sounds like you’re sugar-coating it.” Dream: “No, nono—I mean, it’s a little bit sugar-coated, but it’s also like… it’s just better because you don’t get attacked by everyone, and you can do whatever you want without having to worry...”
[25:37] Sapnap: “George, Dream said he didn’t care about anything on this SMP which… That just means he doesn’t care about us.” Dream: “Okay, I’ll have you say, I was—Okay, I wasn’t—I wasn’t—I didn’t actually mean I don’t care about anything.” George: “Why did you say it then?” Sapnap: “Yeah?” Dream: “Listen, listen! The reason I’m even saying George should step down as king is because I care about him. Because I—He’s been getting attacked, and I care about him, and I don’t want him to get attacked.”
[27:28] Dream: “What did you do as king? Like you didn’t do anything as king like decree or anything...” George: “I’ve been the best king this server has ever had!” Dream: “Yeah, I agree. I agree. But you’ve also been the least safe king because you just get attacked all the time because people don’t like me. And therefore, they don’t like you because you’re behind me, and you’re my friend.” Eret: “By association.” Dream: “Yeah. By association. So, like that’s the same reason, like, Sapnap’s got into some, you know, drama and stuff too, but…”—“Sap, stop pointing the damn bow at me.” George: “Just say—Just say you hate me.” Sapnap: “Yeah, just say it.” Dream: “George! *laughs in disbelief* George, I don’t—Listen to me. I care about you. That’s the reason I don’t want you to be the king.” Sapnap: “First—first—Listen to this. First, he says he doesn’t care about us, and now he’s demoting you as king.”
In this conversation over and over he reiterates how he cares and is trying to keep them safe from being targeted and attacked and yet after everything is said and done, his friends somehow leave that conversation thinking he doesn’t care about them. Why? Because what Sapnap really needed was validation for him feeling hurt, but instead Dream kept reasoning with his emotions with the concrete actions, details and facts, essentially saying that what he feels doesn’t matter because it’s not truth, which was never going to get through to them. They are listening but they aren’t hearing eachother, both think they have made their point and the other side has poor intentions for not reacting appropriately.
It took Tommy to literally experience Dream’s point of view to understand him and realize his intentions weren’t inherently malicious. Because only then could he shatter his assumptions and misconceptions about intention and motivation. Only then did he know which questions to ask Dream for him to get Dream to answer in a way that made sense to him. Before Tommy experiences Dream’s pov in limbo and after, Dream’s arguments and his answers for why don’t really change, he talks about peace and family so many different times, but it’s only after Tommy goes into his head that he’s able to actually translate what Dream was saying so he can hear him, understand him, see him.
It’s the assumption that the way you understand someone is what they meant to say that causes these issues in communication. Me missing social queues or body language that’s sending me a message and you assuming I don’t care or have a certain opinion on the matter because of my response or lack of response when in fact, no I just did not get the message after all. And as such as an autistic person it often feels like neurotypicals expect us to read their minds because they are sending messages, communicating how they feel just not in a way, not in a language we understand.
So, why do they ask that for the snake and not for people? - because people don’t speak snake, but surely people do speak people, so they assumed they don’t need to ask because they assumed that they can follow the train of thought because it's just like theirs. They assumed they understood each other but it’s like an American and a Brit arguing about jumpers without realizing they are two completely different clothing items.
#hopefully that makes sense I feel like I might be repeating myself a bit there but I try… it’s very hard for me to explain the two ways of#thinking when my brain doesn’t understand their process if that makes sense#like I completely follow dreams thought process in the dethronemenf so explaining Sapnap’s reasoning is hard lol because like it also don’t#make sense to me either XD… this is actually part of why I think neurodivergent peeps are drawn to Dream because we understand him)#dsmp#c!dream#dreblr#dream smp#dsmpblr#autistic c!dream#did someone order an essay?#no one does it like c!dream#god every time I watch the dethronement my heart breaks a little more… shout-out for punz for having dreams back per usual though…#autism#dsmp transcripts#alright so far the final essay is long I might have to do a bonus extra 4 🤦♀️
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Does anyone ever think about how Breach's touchiness with Rex might be her attempt at convincing herself things are real. Because I do. I think about it a lot.
#generator rex#breach#“it's not real. it can't hurt you if it isn't real”#it'd be less painful if you shot me#Breach is so tragic to me I wish they focused on her a little more#we got two episodes about her and it was enough to break my heart#I want to see her being friends with Rex more#God I wish we got more about how she handled the aftermath of being dragged through time with her abusive boss#4000 years of being stuck in a form that's not physical- always coming so close to being able to manifest#only for van kleiss to go dormant before she can become real again#“he was- aware. for hundreds of years”#you know who else would've been aware? BREACH#my girl already had derealization issues she doesn't need this
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