#the god slayer rifle I knew that had a reason

[acourtofquestions]

I am a descendant of Ranthia Drahl, Queen of Embers. She is with me now and I am not afraid. My friends are behind me, and I will protect them. My friends are with me and I am not afraid. My friends are with me and I am not afraid.

My friends are with me and I am not afraid.

[vannahfanfics]

Could I request hearts for Nalu please? ❤️😊

Here you are, dearest! I hope you enjoy! 

Strawberry-Lemon

Natsu’s nose twitched as a heavenly scent wafted up his nose, and, like a demon preparing to rob a baby from its cradle, he squatted on all fours in the frame of Lucy’s window, salivating shamelessly as she aroma drifted in through the entryway of her kitchen. If he had a tail, it would be wagging non-stop; whatever she was baking in the kitchen smelled absolutely delectable, and it was making him ravenous. The instant he had caught wind of it on the street, he knew he had to have it. Really, Lucy was all but inviting him in; why else would she leave the windows open and allow it to spill out into the cobblestoned streets? She would’ve known that Natsu would come pestering her on a Saturday; it was ritualistic at this point. Well, Natsu wasn’t about to refuse a downright open invitation for food, now was he?

Lithe as a jungle cat, he hopped down from the windowsill to prowl across the laminate floor of her apartment, swiping his tongue across his lower lip and taking a second to suck up some of the drool leaking from his grinning mouth. Lucy wouldn’t like it if he slobbered all over her floor like a hound dog. His stomach was twisting into knots at the anticipation; it was baying like a hound itself, and he put a hand over his belly, drawing his abs tight in a vain effort to silence its greedy howls. He had no idea what exactly she was making; he only had a clear view of the kitchen table from his perch, not the counters or oven, so he was literally vibrating in suspense. Natsu liked meat best, but sweets were a close second. Could she be making a cake? Cookies? Pastries? Ugh, he had to know and then sink his teeth into whatever it was!

His footfalls were silent as he snuck down the hallway. Just as he had arrived in the entryway, nearly panting like a dog with his pupils shrunk down in voracious desire, his belly gave a particularly adamant yowl of demand. He froze as the gurgling sound echoed in the quiet apartment, staring at Lucy as she jumped and whirled around. She was holding a plastic spatula coated with some pink batter, and it splattered across the countertop and floor with her sudden movement. Natsu’s face slowly turned the color of his hair as he gawked owlishly at her, one leg still hiked up in a tip-toe and his arms held out wide on either side to maintain his balance.

“You didn’t have to sneak in here, you know,” she said finally once she realized it was the dragon-slayer who had come calling. She jutted out a hip, resting her prim little hand on it as she puffed out her cheeks indignantly. “I left the window open for a reason! Jeez, you’re gonna give me a heart attack one of these days.”

A stupidly giddy smile split Natsu’s face at the fact that Lucy had indeed left the window open just for him. His foot fell down to the floor in a happy little scamper. He pranced like a baby deer up to her, green eyes alight with glee as he peeked into the bowl of pink batter she had been stirring before he startled her. His nostrils flared as he breathed in deep, his heightened senses allowing him to discern that the delicious scent he had been so enraptured with was strawberry. No wonder he had been gripped with an overwhelming need; strawberries reminded him of Lucy’s smell. Hers had a slight undertone of lemon, though, which made for an interesting combination that made Natsu’s tongue tingle a little bit every time he caught a whiff of her.

“What are you making?”

“Cupcakes!” she answered jovially with another twirl. She jabbed the spatula back into the bowl of batter to resume stirring it with gusto. “Valentine’s Day is coming up, and so I thought that I might make cupcakes for everyone at the guild.”

“That’s gonna be a lot of cupcakes,” he frowned thoughtfully as he tried to do the math in his head. It proved too daunting a task. It seemed he had arrived before any of the cupcakes were finished, so he walked over to her kitchen table to flip a chair around and straddle it, resting his crossed arms on the chair’s curved back and propping his chin down on the meat of his forearm.

“Where’s Happy?”

“He’s with Wendy and Carla. We were walkin’ and happened to run into ‘em, and they said they were going shopping, so he went with ‘em because Wendy promised to take him to the fish market.” Lucy laughed and said something along the lines of “sounds like him.” Natsu had stopped listening because he was enthralled with the way her body moved as she repeatedly swirled the thick batter around, her arms flexing with each turn. One wouldn’t think it when looking at her, but Lucy was toned; his keen green eyes flickered as he watched the tendons subtly stretch beneath the milky skin of her arms. Her hips bounced a little too as she dug into the batter, trying to eliminate any remaining chunks of powdery batter. Sexy… he thought absentmindedly.

Natsu’s face immediately blazed with a fiery blush again, and he hurriedly jerked his gaze away to the much less interesting bag of flour beside her. Natsu really didn’t know what to do when it came to Lucy. He liked Lucy, a lot; he probably even loved her. He just didn’t understand it all that well. He had never been in love before. He knew that platonic love and romantic love were supposed to be different, but he didn’t know how to act differently to express how he felt. He was handsy and made off-handed comments and such, thinking Lucy may get the hint, but so far it seemed to him that she thought they were really, really good friends. That was true, of course, but it was frustrating because Natsu wasn’t sure how to upgrade.

“There. That oughta do,” Lucy said to herself. He looked back to see her grab a nearby baking ban for heart-shaped cupcakes. With a small grunt, she hoisted the heavy bowl of batter up and began spooning it into the holes. She had clearly made double or even triple the recommended amount in order to feed the whole guild, because the bowl was nearly spilling over with the frothy pink stuff. Natsu’s eyebrows quirked as he noticed her arm begin to tremble violently with the strain of hefting it up, and she began to grow red-faced and out of breath. Wordlessly, he slung his leg over the chair to push himself up and tottered over, easily hooking his arm behind hers to push the bottom of the bowl up with the flat of his hand and reduce the strain on her. “Oh, thank you, Natsu!” she cried, throwing him a grateful, beaming smile. Natsu felt his heart constrict in his chest, and the twisting pain almost made him drop the bowl. God, he loved it when she smiled. It was so gorgeous that it was enough to make a man’s heart halt in his chest.

Lucy filled the pan and they eased the bowl back down onto the counter. Natsu had to try real hard not to stare at her behind as she walked over to the oven to slide the pan in. Natsu didn’t want to figure himself a pervert, but it was so hard when she bent over and it was just… right… there. Oh, God, now he wanted to slap it. Biting down on his knuckles hard enough to draw blood, Natsu whipped around so he wasn’t looking at her anymore, eyes shaking as he blushed hard enough to pop a blood vessel and get a nosebleed. God dammit, why did she have to be so stupidly gorgeous? If she ever got an inkling of the kinds of thoughts he had in his head, she would slap him silly.

“Natsu? You okay?” He nearly jumped a foot in the air as her innocent voice rang over his shoulder. He couldn’t look at her until his blush quieted down, so he just laughed nervously, zooming to the fridge to begin rifling through it without thinking of what he was pretending to look for.

“Yeah, um, I’m just, really thirsty!” he lied quickly as he grabbed random things that were definitely not made for drinking, like a bottle of ketchup and a jar of pickles. Lucy watched him with knitted eyebrows until he picked up a bottle of water and his frazzled brain successfully registered the fact that it was a beverage, in fact made for drinking. He slammed the fridge closed and bolted upright, laughing again before guzzling the entire bottle in about three huge gulps. “Ah, that’s better!” His voice was several octaves higher than normal due to his heightened anxiety. He tossed the bottle at the trashcan, thinking maybe he could look cool after a whole minute of looking like a freak, but it bounced off. He watched with big green eyes as it bounded across the floor only to land right back at his feet. “Goddammit,” he sighed and plucked it up to deliver it to the trashcan like a normal human. Lucy giggled, doing that thing where she held her hand up to her mouth, and Natsu thought he might die.

“Heehee, anyway, would you like to help me make the icing, Natsu?” She waited patiently with an expectant look as his fried brain struggled to process the question. “Yes,” “yes,” you want to say “yes,” Natsu, he reprimanded himself after a moment too long of consideration.

“Er, yeah, I’d love to!” he responded jovially. As she turned around, he shrunk back into himself, biting on his nails. Did he look too excited? It was just frosting, for crying out loud. Lucy didn’t say anything, so he sighed in relief, thinking that she must not be thinking anything of his excitable behavior. He walked back over to stand over her shoulder, watching with curious eyes as she piled the frosting ingredients into the bowl.

“Here! Stir this!” Natsu jumped back as she suddenly whirled around to shove the bowl and a whisk into his hands. He had been standing right behind her, close enough that his breath was puffing over her ear, and if it hadn’t been for his reflexes, the bowl would’ve tipped, and the stuff would’ve gone spilling all down his front. He grabbed the bowl in a white-knuckled grip and began whisking it, trying to keep his cheeks from turning pink again. For a second, he thought Lucy’s cheeks might be pink, too, but she spun around to go check on the rising cupcakes for him to be sure. “Mhmm, they smell so good,” she admired breathily.

“Yeah, I can’t wait to sink my teeth into ‘em,” Natsu growling in appreciation as he continued to lackadaisically swirl the frosting mixture. It was thickening rapidly into a white, gluey paste, requiring him to put a little more backbone than he would imagine putting into whisking frosting. Man, and Lucy does this a lot. This is hard work! He thought as she came over to peek into the bowl. He lowered it so she could inspect it properly.

“You’re doing good.” It was a light compliment but Natsu gushed like a teenage girl about it anyway. “By the way, you only get one! I want to make sure there’s enough for everyone,” she warned him firmly, waggling a finger in his face. He scowled slightly; one measly cupcake wasn’t enough to satiate his rapturous hunger, but he didn’t want to see Lucy upset after all the hard work she was putting in for everyone. “Promise me!”

“Yeah, yeah, I promise, sheesh,” he huffed as she took the bowl from him and set it on the counter. He poked out his lips in a childish pout. “But I’m starving, Lucyyyy…��

“I’ll make you dinner after this is done, okay?”

“Woohoo! You’re the best!” he howled in glee and threw up his arms into the air. She looked over her shoulder at him with a smile and an amused huff. By this time, the cupcakes had finished baking. Lucy removed them from the oven and set them on some potholders, allowing them to cool a bit before plucking them from the molds. They filled the pan with another batch and slipped it into the oven before returning to the next task, icing the cupcakes. Natsu kept fluttering around her, asking if they were ready yet, and she kept barking that if they didn’t cool enough the icing would melt all over the place. It was an agonizingly long time until she allowed him to pick up a butter knife and begin smoothing the creamy mixture over the rounded tops of the cupcakes. He found it a task that required more delicacy than he imagined, as he kept doing it sloppily and getting icing all over his fingers. Not that he cared, because that just meant he got to lick it off. Lucy made him wash his hands every time, though, saying that no one wanted to eat his spit.

After that she let him douse the cupcakes in pink sprinkles. Lucy showed him a neat trick where she filled a bowl with the sprinkles and dunked the cupcake into them, coating the icing evenly in sprinkles. Natsu marveled at her ingenuity, and she got all flustered when he called her a genius and lavished awe on her. After about an hour of repeating the process, Natsu was now salivating at a big red serving plate laden with their masterpieces.

“They all look so delicious… I don’t know which one I wanna eat,” he said as he crouched down so he was eye-level with the treats, inspecting each on critically with his eager fingers drumming on the table. Lucy laughed from where she was washing the dishes at the sink.

“Choose wisely, because that’s the only one you’re gonna get until tomorrow.” Natsu whined loudly at the impossible task before him. They all looked so perfect! After a few minutes of deliberation, he plucked one that looked particularly delicious and stood up, turning to her. She was just finishing, wiping her hands off on a dish towel.

“Here, Lucy. You try first!” he grinned and shoved the cupcake against her lips, smearing a little of the frosting on the underside of her nose.

“What? I thought you wanted to eat it!” she cried, voice muffled by the spongey cake smooshed against her lips.

“You worked so hard to make these! You deserve to get the first one!” he insisted. Natsu’s stomach was yowling and scratching at his insides in angry protest, but Natsu knew that was the right thing to do. Shyly, Lucy opened her mouth to take a dainty bite of the cupcake, chewing thoughtfully when she drew away.

“Yummy!” she beamed. “We make a great team!”

“What? We knew that already,” Natsu laughed and proceeded to pop the entire cupcake into his mouth. It made his cheeks bulge out like a chipmunk’s. He instantly melted into the chair he had been sitting in, the mute tang of strawberry mixing with the divine cream frosting making him ascend into blissful nirvana. “Ahhh… That’s so good,” he said as he smacked his lips and continued to work at the thick frosting coating his tongue. “Now I’m sad I only get one,” he moped with a longing look at the cupcakes.

“You should’ve savored it instead of eating it whole!”

“I was so hungry though,” he pouted, but he knew better than to test her ire by attempting to sneak another one. She enclosed the serving tray with the matching lid before picking it up and putting it on the counter to deliver to the guild the following day. He could tell she was beat by the way her shoulders sagged and she sighed every few minutes and her eyes drooped. Nonetheless, she was tying a new apron around herself and pulling out pots and pans.

“What do you want for dinner, Natsu?”

“… You don’t have to,” he refused suddenly. She looked up at him wide-eyed from her spot on the floor, half-way through pulling a skillet from her cabinet.

“What? I thought you were hungry.”

“Well, I am, but,” he scowled as he fought his ravenous belly, “you look so tired after baking all those cupcakes… All this cooking is hard work… It’s not cool of me to impose like that.”

“Oh, now you grow a conscience?” she laughed teasingly before standing up, skillet in hand. She flipped it around before plunking it down on the stove. “I don’t mind,” she told him gently, and the way her expression softened made him bolt upright in his seat. She was looking down at the empty skillet with an almost… loving expression. “Cooking for the people I care about isn’t a chore. I don’t mind at all, Natsu.” She flipped her head around, tossing her lovely blonde hair, and Natsu was hit with a wind of that lovely lemon-strawberry scent that made his nerves go wild. “You don’t have to answer. I’ve got a recipe I’ve been wanting to try out,” she chirped, turning her back to him again as she tried to reach up above the stove where her shelf of recipes sat. She pursed her lips as she accidently shoved it back, out of reach of her wiggling fingers. “Oh, dammit, let me get a chair.”

Natsu was behind her suddenly, with no recollection of even moving, reaching up to easily pluck the book she had been grasping for from the shelf. She tilted her head back to stare up at him as he lowered it into her waiting hands. “Oh… Thanks, Natsu.” She gawked at him as if expecting him to retreat. His body was caging her against the stove, his chest just barely pressing against her back, arms slowly reaching around to grip the stove on either side of her body. His nostrils were flaring as he drank in that scent of her, the tangy zest of lemon-strawberry, his nerves singing with every puff of it that wafted up his keen nose.

Natsu didn’t know what to do about Lucy, but his body did.

He was suddenly aware of how big he was compared to her when his hand slid underneath her chin, fingers stretching all the way to the undersides of her ears as he gently turned her face over her shoulder. Lucy did not resist; like a puppet to his will, her body folded for him, allowing him to maneuver her as he wished. He scanned her wide brown eyes for any sense of fear or discomfort as his face hovered over hers, only a few centimeters away. She didn’t seem scared; her eyes were blown wide, shaking, but Natsu could discern the unmistakable glimmer of excitement and anticipation brimming in the rich brown depths.

Still, he wanted to be sure.

“Can I kiss you, Lucy?” His voice was husky, raw with months of suppressed desire. Her eyelids twitched as if she were a doll suddenly springing to life. She blinked once, twice, before looking at him in mild surprise.

“Of course you can, Natsu.” She phrased it as if he should know, which made him flush lightly in embarrassment. Who knew how long she had been waiting for him to pull a move? He squirmed uncomfortably, all the confidence he had just had in the moment dissipating like it had drained out the soles of his feet. Lucy giggled that little giggle that made his soul light on fire and reached up to thread her fingers into his cotton candy-colored tufts of hair. “Kiss me,” she demanded in a breathy whisper. Natsu felt a pleasurable shiver sing up his spine. Dammit, she was sexy, looking at him through lidded eyes and ordering him around like that. Hot damn.

He didn’t keep her waiting any longer. With a wolfish smirk, he dove down to smooth his lips over her own. He relished the way her nails scratched along his scalp as soon as he made contact, and the contented hum that vibrated against his moving lips. His thick arms encircled her waist to tug her against his body, because it felt like she simply couldn’t be close enough to him. Their noses bumped a little as he passionately kissed her; it felt like his hunger for food had morphed into a hunger for her mouth, because he couldn’t get enough, not nearly enough. His tongue kitten-licked at her lips, begging for entry, and when she parted her lips for him and he got a taste of her he nearly collapsed on the spot. Strawberry cupcakes and icing and lemon-strawberry bliss, that’s what she tasted like. It might as well have been alcohol because he was drunk on it.

They separated but only just. Natsu’s eyes flickered down to watch the string of saliva snap between their moistened mouths. Hot damn. It made him want to kiss her once more so he could see it all over again. Her fingers were lovingly threading through his messy hair, and her head fell back against her shoulder as she opened up her eyes to gaze at him with a feeling so powerful that Natsu wanted to cry. “I love you, Natsu.”

“I love you too, Lucy.” He smiled and hugged her as he nuzzled his cheek against hers. She made a happy purring sound that had his veins humming with unbridled glee. He had never heard the sound before, but dammit if he didn’t want to hear it more, every day for the rest of their lives. She allowed him to hold her for a moment before she straightened up and began grabbing random implements to cook.

“Natsu, do you want dinner or not?”

“Yeah, but I don’t wanna let go,” he said as he buried her face into the crook of her neck and breathed deep. Lemon-strawberries tickled his nose alongside the fine blonde hairs. He had spent so long wishing to hold her like this; he was gonna get his time’s worth. Lucy exhaled deeply in resignation.

“All right, all right, but I have to go to the fridge,” she said. Natsu shuffled his body along with hers like a male penguin toting about its young. After a second, a thought occurred to him.

“Hey, Lucy.”

“Hmm?”

“Next time you should make lemon frosting.”

“Like strawberry lemonade cupcakes? Now that’s an idea,” she said, pausing from the chicken was slicing against the cutting board. Natsu grinned to himself, burying his face further into the warmth of her being.

No… Like Lucy.

Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to perusemy Tableof Contents!

Tag List: @deliathedork

[consultthemuses]

Sentence Meme: 170 Buffy Summers Quotes

Some will be more easily applicable than others. SOME WILL CONTAIN TRIGGERS (violence/blood mentions/supernatural references)!! Feel free to change pronouns/genders at will.

❛ Darn your sinister attraction. ❜

❛ You stabbed [name] to death. What were you trying to do, scratch his back from the front? ❜

❛ Judgemental? If I was any more open-minded about the choices you two make, my whole brain would fall out. ❜

❛ TV is a good thing. Bright colours. Music. Tiny little people. ❜

❛ They never just leave. Always gotta say something. ❜

❛ Oh come on! Stake through the heart, a little sunlight, it's like falling off a log. ❜

❛ I have no time for orders. ❜

❛ [name], when you tried to be head cheerleader, you were bad. When you tried to chair the Homecoming committee, you were really bad. But when you try to be bad ... you suck. ❜

❛ You said it was big. You told me, but you never said it was huge! ❜

❛ He's 243 years old. He doesn't exactly get the prom. ❜

❛ So I'm treated like the baddie, just because he has a sprained wrist and a bloody nose...and I don't have a scratch on me. Which, granted, hurts my case a little, on the surface. ❜

❛ I don't have time for vendettas. The mission is what matters. ❜

❛ What I want is the [name] that's dangerous. The [name] that tried to kill me when we met. ❜

❛ Sex and death and love and pain -- it's all the same damn thing to you. ❜

❛ Have you completely lost your mind? ❜

❛ I'm not just some crazy person. I'm the Slayer! ❜

❛ You named your stake? Remind me to get you a stuffed animal. ❜

❛ I'm sixteen years old. I don't wanna die. ❜

❛ It's all [name]’s fault. She's like poison. No, worse, she's like acid that eats through everything. Maybe she's a bomb. ❜

❛ You know, you really should watch your language. Someone didn't know you, they might think you were a woman-hating jerk. ❜

❛ The least you could do is exhibit some casual interest; you can go hmm. ❜

❛ You sounded like Mr. Initiative. Demons bad. People good. ❜

❛ See, I didn't think this was a popularity contest. I should have equal time to bake them cookies, braid their hair.. ❜

❛ There is something bad down here. Possibly everything bad. ❜

❛ [name] is not dangerous. Something happened to him that wasn't his fault. God, I never knew you were such a bigot. ❜

❛ My diary? You read my diary? That is not okay! A diary is like a person's most private place! ❜

❛ A bad omen and we just ignore it? There's going to be a lot of red faces when the world comes to an end. ❜

❛ Good.'Cause I've had it. [name] is going down. You can attack me, you can send assassins after me, that's fine. But nobody messes with my boyfriend! ❜

❛ This is [name]. He's um.. It's a really long story b-but he's not bad anymore. ❜

❛ I don't want any trouble. I just want to be alone and quiet in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cozy. I don't even know what a tea cozy is, but I want one. ❜

❛ Say it's true. Say I do want to... it wouldn't be you, [name]. It would never be you. You're beneath me. ❜

❛ I don't know what's coming next. But I do know it's gonna be just like this -- hard, painful. But in the end, it's gonna be us. If we all do our parts, believe it, we'll be the ones left standing. ❜

❛ Best of all... I'm not stupid. ❜

❛ Anyone else who wants to run... do it now. Because we just became an army. We just declared war. From now on we won't just face our worst fears, we will seek them out. ❜

❛ Look, I broke a nail, ok? I'm wearing a press-on. ❜

❛ So, what I'm wondering is, does this always happen? Sleep with a guy and he goes all evil? ❜

❛ I'm going to give you all a nice, fun, normal evening, if I have to kill every single person on the face of the earth to do it. ❜

❛ It was exactly you, [name], every detail. Except for your not being a dominatrix. As far as we know. ❜

❛ I see one more display of testosterone-poisoning, and I will personally put you both in the hospital. ❜

❛ I'm beyond tired. I'm beyond scared. I'm standing on the mouth of hell, and it's going to swallow me whole. And it'll choke on me. ❜

❛ I was just thinking about the life of a pumpkin. Grow up in the sun, happily entwined with others, and then someone comes along, cuts you open, and rips your guts out. ❜

❛ Oh! That's my skirt! You're never gonna fit in it with those hips. We have to kill them! ❜

❛ I hate it when they drown me. ❜

❛ Okay, I'm cookie dough. I'm not done baking. I'm not finished becoming whatever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be. ❜

❛ I'm looking for this guy. Bleach-blond hair, leather jacket, British accent, kind of... sallow? But in a hot way? ❜

❛ Death is what a slayer breathes, what a slayer dreams about when she sleeps. ❜

❛ A flare gun? If I find [name], I'm staking him, not signalling ships at sea. ❜

❛ It's my first day! I was afraid that I was gonna be behind in all my classes, that I wouldn't make any friends, that I would have last month's hair. I didn't think there'd be vampires on campus! ❜

❛ There's only one thing on this earth more powerful than evil. And that's us. ❜

❛ The fast-growing field of personal grooming has come a long way since you became a vampire. ❜

❛ The whole earth may be sucked into hell, and you want my help 'cause your girlfriend's a big 'ho? Well, let me take this opportunity to not care. ❜

❛ You have fruit punch mouth. ❜

❛ You smell this bad when you were alive? ❜

❛ [name]’s a vampire? She must be dying without a reflection. ❜

❛ What kind of girl travels with a mummified corpse? And doesn't even pack a lipstick? ❜

❛ If I need someone to scream like a woman I'll give you a call. ❜

❛ Well, a man that worships chaos and tries to kill you is a man you can trust. ❜

❛ I accidentally killed [name]! That's okay, right? ❜

❛ That'll be then. When I'm done. ❜

❛ Do you have everything? Books? Lunch? Stakes? ❜

❛ I'm the thing that monsters have nightmares about. And right now, you and me are gonna show 'em why. ❜

❛ I'm the one that dates dead guys. And, no offence, but they were hotties. ❜

❛ I haven't processed everything yet. My brain isn't really functioning on the higher levels. It's pretty much fire bad; tree pretty. ❜

❛ Hey! Remember this? I took it from [name]. Stuck it in her gut. Just slid in her like she was butter. You wanna get it back from me? Dick? ❜

❛ You know. No kick-o, no fight-o. ❜

❛ [name] has minions? ❜

❛ Oh yes! Like how the cow and the chicken come together even though they've never met. It's like Sleepless in Seattle if, if Meg and Tom were, like, minced. ❜

❛ What was the highlight of our relationship -- when you broke up with me, or when I killed you? ❜

❛ You're right. He's manipulative and shallow... and why doesn't he want me? Am I so repulsive? If there was something repulsive about me, you'd tell me, right? ❜

❛ We're not ready? They're not ready. They think we're gonna wait for the end to come, like we always do. I'm done waiting. They want an apocalypse? Oh, we'll give 'em one. ❜

❛ You had sex with [name]? You had sex with [NAME]? ❜

❛ Sorry, [name]. Changed the locks. ❜

❛ Besides, I look cute in a tiara. ❜

❛ Oh, [name]! Of course it's yes! ❜

❛ I'll end up an old lady who can only live with cats. ❜

❛ Okay, I was hoping to not get that cynical till I was at least forty. ❜

❛ I don't have time for bondage fun. ❜

❛ She knows about viscera. Makes you proud. ❜

❛ They were supposed to be my light at the end of the tunnel. I guess they were a train. ❜

❛ It was terrible. I moped over you for months, sitting in my room, listening to that Divinyls song "I Touch Myself".. of course, I had no idea what it was about. ❜

❛ I'm working. Go away. ❜

❛ The one who, according to [name], is the, quote: "smartest, funniest, coolest, hottest, and having the thickest boy eyelashes boy in school," and quote. ❜

❛ I just saw you taste your own nose blood. You know what? I'm too grossed out to hear anything you have to say! ❜

❛ Pop culture reference. Sorry. ❜

❛ How can you tell me you understand what those vampires are feeling? You aren't a passion to them, you are a snack! A willing, idiotic snack. ❜

❛ You want credit for not feeding on bleeding disaster victims? ❜

❛ Let me answer that question with a head-butt. ❜

❛ Right now you're asking yourself, "What makes this different? What makes us anything more than a bunch of girls being picked off one by one? ❜

❛ I-I was... just thinking, wouldn't it be funny some time to see each other when it wasn't a blood thing.. ❜

❛ Will you just hold me? ❜

❛ If it's possible, you seem more monosyllabic than usual. ❜

❛ I'm just worried this whole session's gonna turn into some training montage from an 80's movie. ❜

❛ How do you get to be renowned? I mean, like, do you have to be nowned first? ❜

❛ Not too crazy? Those are your credentials? ❜

❛ I can fool [name], and I can fool my friends, but I can't fool myself. Or [name], for some reason. What I want from you I can never have. ❜

❛ Nooo... I think you're up in the clocktower with a high-powered rifle because you wanna blend in. ❜

❛ You've awakened the prom-queen within. And that crown is going to be mine. ❜

❛ I'm pretty spry for a corpse. ❜

❛ Oh, look at my poor neck... all bare and tender and exposed. All that blood, just pumping away. ��

❛ This is a beautiful moment we're having. Can we please fight? ❜

❛ And the thing is, I like my evil like I like my men - evil. You know, straight up, black hat, tied to the train tracks, 'soon my electro-ray will destroy Metropolis' bad. ❜

❛ We can't actually do any of those things. You'd lose your soul, and besides, I don't even own a kimono. ❜

❛ Doesn't matter how well prepped you are, or how well armed you are. You're a little girl. ❜

❛ Repeat until insane. ❜

❛ You're in love with pain. Admit it. ❜

❛ What are you doing here? Five words or less. ❜

❛ [name] seems so solid. Like.. he wouldn't cause me heartache. ❜

❛ Okay, a scenario: you back off, I'll back off, but you promise not to go all wiggy until we can go to my Watcher and figure this out. ❜

❛ [name], your mouth is open, sound is coming from it. This is never good. ❜

❛ Can a vampire ever be a good person? Couldn't it happen? ❜

❛ I don't know. I kinda' see [name] as the loyal type. ❜

❛ No, [name], it's not you. You're the one freaky thing in my freaky world that still makes sense to me. ❜

❛ Sarcasm accomplishes nothing, [name]. ❜

❛ You're disgusting. ❜

❛ Well, we'll fix it. We'll hit serious research mode. ❜

❛ Every year, my Dad buys me cotton candy and one of those souvenir programs that has all the pictures. ❜

❛ Now might be a good time for your trademark stoicism. ❜

❛ So I told him that I loved him...and I kissed him.. and I killed him. ❜

❛ I'm getting better, honest. In fact, from here on, you're going to see a drastic distraction reduction. Drastic distraction reduction... try saying that ten times fast. ❜

❛ [name] and I are getting married! ❜

❛ We're going to the magic shop. No school supplies there. ❜

❛ [name] tried to kill me! ❜

❛ So you haven't murdered anybody lately? Let's be best pals! ❜

❛ I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you. ❜

❛ This is not gonna' be pretty. We're talkin' violence, strong language, adult content. ❜

❛ I have to get away from that 'bad boy' thing. There's no good there. ❜

❛ Exactly. I'm sure [name] is flogging and punishing himself.. This is sounding wrong before I even finish.. ❜

❛ I just don't want you to get your hopes up. ❜

❛ Oh, time has no meaning here. ❜

❛ Does Elvis talk to you? Does he tell you to do things? Do you see spots? ❜

❛ Right. I'm the chosen one. And I choose to be shopping. ❜

❛ Just look at you, [name]. Less than 24 hours ago you killed a man. And now it's all zip-a-dee-doo-dah? ❜

❛ You had to tie me up to beat me. There's a word for people like you, [name]: loser. ❜

❛ Hey! I was intimidating here. ❜

❛ I know you guys think it's just a big, dumb, girlie thing, but it's not. I mean, a lot of those skaters are Olympic medal winners. ❜

❛ Yeah, just see him in a relationship. 'Hi, honey. You're in grave danger. I'll see you next month! ❜

❛ We're not friends. We never were. ❜

❛ Sure. We saved the world, I say we party. ❜

❛ Great. My secret weapon is PMS. That's just terrific. Thanks for telling me. ❜

❛ You have a lot to learn about women.. ❜

❛ Aren't you going to introduce me to your... Holy God, you're [name]! ❜

❛ I got older. ❜

❛ Yeah, I'm also a person. You can't just define me by my Slayerness. That's... something-ism. ❜

❛ My boyfriend had a bicentennial. ❜

❛ Boy, you've really thought this through. How bored were you last year? ❜

❛ This.. is not your business. It's mine. ❜

❛ Hey, the way things were going, be glad that's the worst that happened. At least I got to the two of you before you actually did something. ❜

❛ Come on, you've been dating for what, like 200 years? You don't know what a girl means when she says maybe she'll show. ❜

❛ Well, when you've been around since Columbus, you're bound to pile up a few exes. ❜

❛ D'you have any gum? ❜

❛ You know, I know what that looks like, but I-I swear it's not what it looks like. It's magic weed. It's not mine. ❜

❛ I didn't even break a nail. ❜

❛ God, [name], is that all you think about? ❜

❛ [name] didn't set this up. [name] did. This is the wrapping for the gift. ❜

❛ You're older than him, right? Just between us girls, you are looking a little worn around the eyes. ❜

❛ Mom, I'm a Vampire Slayer. ❜

❛ You know, nothing's really going to change. The important thing is that I kept up my special birthday tradition of gut-wrenching misery and horror. ❜

❛ I think I speak for everyone here when I say, 'Huh?'. ❜

❛ Guys. The environment. I'm telling you, it's totally key. The earth is in terrible shape, we could all die. ❜

❛ Unfortunately, that's all I could get out of my informant before his aggressive tendencies forced me to introduce him to Mr. Pointy. ❜

❛ You know what? I like the look. It's um, it's extreme, but it looks good, you know, it's a leather thing. And, uh, I said extreme already, didn't I? ❜

❛ What about me? I love you so much. And I tried to make you go away. I killed you and it didn't help. And I hate it! ❜

❛ It's a stupid dance with stupid people I see every stupid day! ❜

❛ My Dorothy Hamill phase. My room in LA was pretty much a shrine. Dorothy dolls, Dorothy posters. I even got the Dorothy haircut, thereby securing a place for myself in the Geek Hall of Fame. ❜

❛ Guys, I think reality stepped out of here about five minutes ago. ❜

❛ There are two things that I don't believe in: coincidence and leprechauns. ❜

❛ I thought a professional demon chaser like yourself would've figured it out by now. ❜

❛ You know, if you're not too busy having sex with my MOTHER! ❜

❛ Don't worry. They can't come in unless they're invited. ❜

❛ They were powerful men. This woman is more powerful than all of them combined. ❜

[darksideaskblog]

When he moved his eyes to her again, anyone could clearly see how tired he was. He listened to her tell him her name and he couldn’t help but slightly smile at it. Kirin. Wasn’t that a mythical animal that was a close cousin to the unicorn? Wasn’t that the Chinese Unicorn? A creature with one antler, the scaly skin of a carp and the body of a goat? Yes, he was a very learned man, and he would have proven that now, but he didn’t want to brag.

The smile did fall from his face however, when he remembered he had to give her his name, but in all reality, he didn’t have a name he could give her, not a real one at least, and he definitely couldn’t give her “the Slayer.” So he’d just have to use his host’s name, which was Markus. He kind of felt bad that it was a complete lie, but for the life of him, he couldn’t remember his real name, he felt like he used to have one. Didn’t he?

With a very tired and a tiny bit of an annoyed sigh, he gave her his host’s name, he decided to use it as his for now, “And I’m Markus, pleased to meet you and all that crap,” he said as he waved his hand in a dismissive manner, then used that same hand to rub one of his eyes with his palm.

God, the sleepiness was getting to him very quickly, and he’d almost tripped over that rock if he wasn’t paying attention. His hand dropped to his side and he stopped to sleepily get his bearings. Once he saw a path he recognized, he pointed to it before moving to tell her where he was going. He wouldn’t have done this if she didn’t offer to get food for him, and he was trying to be at least a little nice to her. An untrained eye wouldn’t know what she was, but the Slayer knew just by looking at her that she was way more than just this woman standing in front of him. He knew she had secrets, but he had them too, but of course if she was him, he wouldn’t tell the person who he basically just met.

He softly tugged on the strap on his rifle holster to tighten it and stopped again to let his sleepy mind try and remember the way he went to his picked spot, then pointed again and began walking again. It wasn’t long before they came to his camp, which wasn’t really a camp because there were no tents set up yet, just tools beside a yet to be made campfire. There was only rocks in a circle with a long branch on two others forced into the dirt, holding up a caldron. That tiny “camp” overlooked a beautiful small pond just a few yards away, not big enough to be a full on lake but it still looked large especially with the waterfall pouring into the water below. The rock formation surrounded the water, leaving only a bit of an open area to enter from the shore. The ground led into the water like a tiny beach. This area was beautiful, which was one of the main reasons why he picked it, that and he needed a bath.

Without even telling her this was his camp, he just walked to the ax leaning against the caldron, it’s handle pointing upward so he’d have easy access to it, and picked his up and held it in swinging position in his hands before saying, “I’ll be here while you get some food, I’ll get some wood first then set up the tents,” he gave her half a smile, “It’s a very good thing I brought two of them.”

Parasite in the Area!

( @baked-goods-and-murder )

The Slayer was just about to take this deer standing not far from him. His long and sleek black rifle was pointed straight at this strong looking buck standing not that far off. He was quiet as he adjusted his aim on the unsuspecting deer, it’s back was to him as it lazily grazed at the grass.

The Slayer had always warn his black rubber-like protective armor to protect him from all sorts of things, Shadows being one of them, and his shoulder length black hair was tied into a tiny little ponytail. He mostly wore his hair like that to get his hair out of the way of the trigger, and to make sure it wouldn’t get suck in the cracks of the gun as he held it so close beside his head. His armor, was of course tight fitting, and kind of showing off his body shape, well, technically his host’s body. His green eyes fixed softly on the deer ahead of him.

He was of course a parasite, but at first glance no one would have known that, especially with his strange looking right arm now normal looking thanks to his parasitic powers. He normally did that when he was alone, around his boyfriend or when he felt someone might come up and bother him. True that didn’t happen much, but it had happened before, and in all honesty, that sometimes pissed him off.

He liked being alone though, and he barely got that time to rest and relax away from his men, the people who didn’t listen to him much at all, and at the moment, he liked the silence of the woods around him, the hunting, and honestly the being away from Shadow. In his opinion, the Shadow was the worst to be around. Mostly because he had so many mixed feelings about him, and in all honesty, that kind of made him feel uncomfortable, especially that he had a sudden crush on his sworn enemy, and today, in the middle of the day with the sun shining brightly above him, he wanted to get away from all that. Hunting was something that put his mind at peace, that and all the killing and the thrill of the chase as he searched through the woods for his prey.

He wouldn’t admit it though, but this was also to practice his parasitic powers and learn what new abilities he might have, because he did learn something new everyday.

He was already about to take a shot when there was a sound that scared the buck away and almost immediately the Slayer’s face dropped to a hard look of anger as he forced himself up into standing position from his knees and cursed to himself, “Fucking damnit…”