#god of jokes vs god of mischief

[lmk-oc-competition]

LMK OC COMPETITION - ROUND 1

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Ao Hai Wang belongs to @turquiosescales

Yīngwǔ Hángbān belongs to @wr3n-th3-4n1m4t0r

Learn more about them below the cut!

Ao Hai Wang:

Hai Wang is stoic, cold, and quiet, however, he wasnt always like this. Before, he was more emotional and fun, and he loved Lu Jiao (his brother) with all his heart. However, due to connections with his brother and the pressure of becoming a bigger and better person within the Ao family, he was forced to bury away his emotions and passions to become the image his family wants.

He is one of the leaders of the Ao family, in which Lu Jiao wanted to take his position to prove that he can be just as important. He has a strained relationship with his brother, not just after their disagreement, but also because of his brother's affilations with the Brotherhood.

Yīngwǔ Hángbān:

he’s so stupid oh my god

Yīngwǔ was an avian from a small clan in the woods, appearing similarly to Dracula parrots (super cool birds, seriously Google them sometime!). However, Yīngwǔ would often meddle and joke with a local villager for fun, despite all the protests from his clan and the victim themself. He received threats day in and day out, but never listened. Little did Yīngwǔ realize, the local he had been toying with was very close with the Celestial Realm; a monk of some sort... (NOT Tang Sanzang, for clarification.) As repayment for his incompetence, the monk reached out to the Celestials for a proper punishment to the winged boy.

And so, they lent a circlet to the monk, which was promptly placed on its recipient: Yīngwǔ Hángbān himself. Any attempt to escape the monk, especially to flight, the circlet would tighten around the boy's neck until he began to choke and was forced to come down, conscious or not. Another factor of the punishment was the boy must serve this monk as his master. For 2 years Hángbān attempted to escape his owner, yet it tightened nonetheless. Soon, he gave up altogether, fearing the thought of one day dying in an escape attempt. Finally, on the third year, the boy was released, yet with new fear in mind.

His story is often told to children in order to prevent them from causing mischief, and he became known as The Meddler.

Fun facts about the silly traumatised bird man!:

- He refuses to fly for fear of being choked, and has phagophobia.

- He often appears rude to strangers and those he doesn't trust. Don't worry, he's a lot softer and kinder when you gain his trust, which isn't an easy feat.

- He does have a scar around his throat due to the circlet, but it's mostly, if not fully, covered by the feathers on his neck.

- He's very socially anxious, though always attempts to de-escalate any situation required.

[muma-kitty]

i was tagged by @illusionaryneil to list 8 shows to get to know me better so here they are:

1. Powerpuff Girls- this show was my entire personality as a child and i count it as my first special interest. buttercup was my idol and i wanted to be just like her. and yes, i am very disappointed in the remake and am adamant the original is vastly superior.

2. Ed, Edd, n Eddy- not as influential as the first show on this list but definitely an important part of my childhood. being the lonely kid i was i fantasized about having a ragtag group of friends to cause mischief with, especially regarding the construction of weirdly complex stuff like the eds were known for. i also think the kanker sisters were the coolest, especially marie. also, is it just me or did everyone i know think that double d was a girl at first?

3. Death Note- jumping ahead to my middle school years we have this absolute classic, and the beginning of my interest in anime, basically required reading/watching for any fan of japanese media. i have fond memories of spending weekends with the friend who introduced me to this show and staying up until 4 am watching adult swim for this to come on. now i know i probably should not have been watching adult swim in the 6th grade but you know, kids hit 13 and think theyre grown. also this is nowhere near the worst thing you could show to a young teen.

4. Code Geass- this is the other defining show of my middle school years, and this one stuck with me for far longer. also something i really shouldnt have been watching at that age, and i really didnt even understand the political themes of the plot, i just wanted to watch the main character blow shit up. watching it again as an adult is a much different experience and i have developed more of an appreciation for it over time.

5. Hetalia- now i know what youre thinking: "oh god a hetalia fan *blockblockblockblockblock-*" listen, im not going to defend this series and im sure as hell not going to defend its fandom. i dont associate myself with those fascist-fetishizing yaoi-addicted freaks but this show was still a big part of my high school years and long story short i may have never created the fursona i have today without it. (no i am not joking)

6. Villainous- this is a brand new very recent show that is far from being finished but definitely ticks off a lot of my interests so im definitely excited for the day it finally comes out dubbed in english. makes my inner edgy teenager happy. definitely want to go out and wreck shit with demencia.

7. Invader Zim- now i know im a bit late to the party on this one but unlike most people my age i didnt watch a lot of nickelodeon growing up and in my adulthood i decided to revisit the things i slept on while they were popular. its true what they say, queer and neurodivergent culture really is just spending your 20s being the teenager you always wanted to be. and i wanted to be a scene kid.

8. Making Fiends- much like the above, i didnt really watch this until recently. unlike the above, its a tragically short series that never aired more than a handful of episodes before getting canned. even worse, the creator cant do anything else with it bc nickelodeon still holds the rights, even though they never do anything with it besides air reruns every october. thankfully the whole series can be easily found on youtube, including the original webisodes. also, if i had a nickel for every angry little green girl i found relatable id have 2 nickels, which isnt a lot but its weird it happened twice.

Bonus: Dan vs.- another tragically short show. its great. just go watch it.

im passing this on to @hangatyr and @thechthonicmother and whoever else is interested. idk who else i know who hasnt been tagged already.

[ezzybrownmedia]

Basketmouth vs. Bovi: A Clash of Hilarious Comedians

Prominent stand-up comedian and actor Bovi Ugboma playfully labels his colleague, Basketmouth, as a mischievous character who's allegedly had a hand in the stumbles of aspiring comedians. A video currently circulating across social media captures the two comedians sharing a room, exchanging jokes, and revelling in laughter. Amidst the laughter, Bovi couldn't resist adding a humorous twist to the conversation, suggesting that Basketmouth possesses an extraordinary talent for undermining fellow comedians. LEARN MORE: Read blogs and articles here!!! With a grin, Bovi quips, "The most mischievous comedian who enjoys putting the brakes on other comedians' careers; you're a real piece of work. A man of tranquilly with a sprinkle of mischief," all in good fun, of course. Basketmouth playfully counters Bovi's claim, asserting, "No, no, I'm a kind-hearted man. Don't take anything he says to heart; I'm a man of God," delivering his retort with a twinkle in his eye. ALSO CHECK: Affordable products It's worth noting that an emerging comedian, Destalker, once accused Basketmouth of actively working against his success and undermining his comedy shows. AY Makun, another comedian, shared a similar narrative of tension with Basketmouth, leading to a longstanding feud between them. Read the full article

[bitchgomakemymoney3hundoe]

Masonic Catholicism Vs. Joseph Wiesmore

-------------------------------------------------

To The Sacred Order Of The Ark Of The Covenant Of Christ, Jesus Of The Body And Blood Society E.U.

     Bonsoir Mon Peuples Of The Sacred Confraternity Of The Most The Holy Rosary 

Such As The Catechism.

     I Am Writing This Letter To Inquire Masonic Catholicism Arrest Suspect In Question "Joseph Wiesmore" For The Haineous Offenses Of High Treason, Blasphemy, Backstabbery, Disorderly Conduct, Racketeering, Aggravated Assault, Provoking/Attacking, Criminal Mischief With That Of A Malicious Intention, Mockery The Crown Of Sacred King Andrâe Paul Un, Disrespect To The Throne Of King Charles Of Lyon, France E.U.

Hate Crime/Discrimination Due A Dispute Over Nationality And/Or Religion By The Manner Or Dismanner Of Referring A Past Sacred French King Of A Pre-Renaissance Era Such As "You Dirty French Asshole Get The Fuck Out Of My Face Loser"

And "I Really Do Not Give A Fuck If You Come From Disorder And The Fact That You Come Disorder Makes You A Joke As A Man" Or As To Often Cry And Bitch As Talk Shit About "Grown Man, Grown Man, Grown Man..... What Does Adulthood Have To Do With A p

Psychological And/Or Physical Disorder (s)" Of Which Of Course Is Total Bullshit And There For Is Just Not How Life Works So Then So Then The People Of God Are Now Going To Teach That Rotten Asshole About How Mental Health Really Works.

From This Petition I Shall Like To See Joseph Wiesmore Pay Great Monsieur Andre Paul Poisson : $8.6 Billion USD And/Or 25 To Life In Prison At Rikers Island.

                                       Signed,

Young Judiciary And Supreme Overlord Of The European Union, Honorable Monsieur Justice : Andrâe Paul Un(House Of European-American Parliament Du Francaise).

[mentallydatingahotcelebrity]

Rreading posts today from various people I learned that Taika Waititi, director of Ragnarok, has no idea why Loki is a tragic character. Loki’s story alone and from his POV is, actually, a tragedy. But to someone who doesn’t really understand the definition of what makes a character, setting, novel, or film a “tragedy” the idea that Loki is a tragic character sounds utterly ridiculous and overdramatic.

So here’s a definition of the tragic character/a tragedy as written by E. B. Greenwood in 1994/95 for the introduction to Anna Karenina for anyone curious as to WHY I call Loki a “tragic character”. I’ve changed some words so that it fits my topic.

“What do I mean by saying that it is, in substance, a tragedy? [...] It has the substance of tragedy in that in it, as Aristotle required, a person neither of superlative goodness nor repellant wickedness (i.e. a character whom we can sympathise with, even love) makes a mistaken choice or set of choices. Aristotle called this hamartia. When this choice leads to a situation from which there is no way out but suffering, we have tragedy. Both Greek and Shakespearean tragedy involve poetic stylisation and elevation and actions out of the ordinary. Loki’s tragedy comes much closer to the type of tragedy described by Tolstoy’s favorite philosopher Schopenhauer in Section 51 of The World as Will and Representation:

Finally, the misfortune can be brought about also by the mere attitude of the persons to one another through their relations. Thus there is no need either of a colossal error, or of an unheard-of accident, or even of a character reaching the bounds of human possibility in wickedness, but characters as they usually are in a moral regard in circumstances that frequently occur, are so situated with regard to one another that their position forces them, knowingly and with their eyes open, to do one another the greatest injury, without any of them being entirely in the wrong. This last kind of tragedy seems to me to be far preferably to the other two; for it shows us the greatest misfortune not as an exception, not as something brought about by rare circumstances or by monstrous characters, but as something that arises easily and spontaneously out of the actions and characters of men as something almost essential to them, and in this way is brought terribly near to us. . . We see the greatest suffering brought about by entanglements whose essence could be assumed even by our own fate, and by actions that perhaps even we might be capable of committing, and so we cannot complain of injustice. Then, shuddering, we feel ourselves already in the midst of hell. In this last kind of tragedy the working out is of the greatest difficulty; for the greatest effect has to be produced in it with the least use of means and occasions for movement, merely by their position and distribution.

When I read all of the above upon purchasing Anna Karenina, I was quite surprised at how fitting it was of Loki’s role and an explanation of why he is a tragic character. Because, in a most ironic turn of events, the god who declares ‘there are no men like him’ is, in fact, utterly and completely like the men he seeks to dominate. He’s relatable, identifiable, lovable; because he’s flawed, and hurting, and desirous of the same emotions all human beings want:

Recognition, adoration, affection, support, protection, love, companionship. 

The reason why I included that excerpt from Schopenhauer is because I think that fits Loki too-- in his universe, the things that happened to him frequently occurred, but they built and built until he snapped beneath the weight of them; something everyone who came to adore Loki recognized and found utterly relatable, to the point of being distressed for Loki. 

He’s not a villain, he never was, he’s just a tragic character. 

And the problem with this is that tragic characters are not absolutely good nor utterly evil, they’re a bit of both and completely relatable from the audience’s point of view. That’s the reason why Marvel couldn’t figure out how to adapt him or develop him, because a tragic character is, always, fated to die.

Hamlet, Anna Karenina, Romeo, Juliet, Loki-- their roles are to bring to the foreground that the typical nature of humans is to destroy themselves for a motive they think in their own minds will help them while meanwhile the reality of it is that guides them toward their eventual end. We are all heroes in our own minds where we tell ourselves how much good we’re doing; but our actions make us deplorable to the people looking on. The Tragic Character role in all forms of writing is to wake up other characters to the realization that they need to change how they act if they want to prevent the same end. 

[Which is what happened in the end of Thor. Thor realized that anger can lead to self-destruction, and Odin learned that not mentioning his love for his sons can lead to their downfall]

The problem is that in order to continue to make Thor and Loki interesting, new and unique storylines would have to be created-- risk would have to be made. Loki would have to keep on being a tragic character and he’d have to die. Which he was going to do in The Dark World. But with Marvel, as with most things in this day and age, Loki’s name goes synonymously with money. He’d been making them money, he generated interest. Look how massive Ragnarok’s box office income [or whatever that’s called?] was on day one alone. 

Yeah, sure, there were people there because their interested had been piqued by the [bad] trailers for the film, and they also came because a large majority of people love Thor-- but who hadn’t been seen living, breathing and walking around for 4 years?

Loki.

People wanted to know what happened to Loki more than Thor-- sucks for Waititi and Hemsworth, but it’s the truth. We’ve been seeing Thor in basically every Avengers film except Captain America: Civil War. We know that he’s alive, how he’s doing, how things are going for him. But no one knew about Loki. Because Loki is the tragic character, the human one in a sea of unhuman, “good” characters (Thor, Odin, Frigga, Sif, Volstagg, Hogun, Fandral, Heimdall), if you will. He’s the one we look to and go “I wonder what he’s thinking” “I wonder how he’s feeling” because as soon as we see it:

“Trust my rage”

“Because I’m the monster parents tell their children about at night?”

“The humans slaughter each other in droves while you idly fret”

We can RELATE to what he’s saying, we GET what he’s saying. Yes, we all think with a grin at one another, Thor really is going on about nothing, wish he’d stop some of our wars. Yes, TRUST RAGE, because when we’re angry the truth comes out ungilt with fancy falsehoods and pretty pretendings. Yes, we all sometimes feel we’ve become what our parents warned us against when we were younger--no wonder it seems as if their love for us has diminished into nothing, they hate what we’ve become.

This is, 100%, a tragic character. People either love them or hate them because they remind us of who we are and what we’re capable of. Murder? Yes. Hatred? Yes. Rage? Yes. Self-doubt? Yes. Fear? Yes. Self-loathing? Yes. The capability to be good or bad or both in turns? Yes.

And the fact that the person who plays this role is someone who studied roles like this (among others) for his higher education? Well, it (quite literally) can’t get any better than that. Not only is Loki a tragic character, but he’s played by an actor who understands the method of performing tragedies, who understands how those characters have to be played out, and who can relate to them at the same time to make that performance dynamite. 

The reason why Ragnarok!Loki is so appalling is because he’s played in the same method as Thor, however not in the role of “Morally Good” character but rather in the role of Touchstone the Jester. He says some clever things amidst his largely joksy lines. But he’s really just there for giggles [also as a foil for the main characters to bounce sage-sounding lines or soliloquies off of], and not much else.

And we, as fans, hate that because that’s not Loki’s role. He isn’t the god of jokes. So I’ve taken to looking at this whole Gagnarok problem as an attempt at erasing the Tragic Character That Is Loki because he’s very difficult to write. It was difficult for Tolstoy to write Anna Karenina in the beginning because of how human the characters were, how easily their actions could very well become his own. There’s a reason it took him some three years to complete that novel: writing Tragic Characters is hard. In the process of creating them, writers have to admit things about themselves that all human beings would rather shove into little dark places in our hearts and ignore.

Or there’s another reason they have to crush his beautiful writing into the garbage chute: 

He’s

a) going to turn up alive and well but just for shits and giggles in A4

or

b) going to turn up alive and well and hatefully backstabbing in A4

I’m voting on the latter instead of the former. I’ll be really pleased, however, if he has a proper Tragic Character ending. As in, he comes back, helps the Avengers out, and then agrees to die anyway to save the “better” characters. Or dies in the process of actually saving one of the “better” characters. Because that crap at the beginning of Infinity War will never please me, I’m sorry. Tom’s acting: lovely. Loki’s role before kicking the bucket: garbage.

Annnnnd I think I’m done for the evening. I hope this made sense-- I’m sick so I’m doped up by the doc to the point of constantly feeling drowsy and half-lucid. If anyone wants to have further conversation on this, reblog the post or message me or ask me.

[from-a-reckless-writer]

dove down my rabbit hole of wips and one of my wips isnt a wip anymore! so here, have some gay shit....

“Kelly wants to get married in the woods, I want to get married in Midvale. So, apparently, our wedding will just happen via Zoom. Her in the woods, me at the beach. Ain’t that just fucking grand?”

Alex comes through the door like a hurricane covered in leather. Her helmet lands on Kara’s counter loudly. Her keys haphazardly thrown somewhere in the general direction of the bowl by the door.

“Then have two weddings.”

Alex follows the voice and her eyes zero in on her sister’s best friend.

Lena is sitting on the floor of Kara’s apartment, wearing an oversized sweater. Her dark hair spilling down her shoulders softly. A hand wrapping around a wine glass, the other typing on her laptop, not even jumping in the slightest at the commotion that is Alex’s entrance.

Alex plops down on the couch sighing loudly, not even batting an eye at this utterly domestic scene that is her sister washing the dishes with Lena Luthor on the floor of her apartment.

Lena doesn’t comment at the Danvers’ Sisters antics and Alex doesn’t call them out on the ridiculousness that Lena and Kara are still keen on keeping up.

The three of them already well desensitized to one another’s preferred brand of bullshitery.

“You know, sometimes I forget you're a rich-ass bitch and then you say shit like that and suddenly, I remember,” Alex says, smoothly snatching the wine from Lena’s hand.

She finishes the entire glass in one gulp and Lena rolls her eyes. Alex had finally proposed to Kelly the other week and well, that meant this week all of them had fallen victim to the Olsen-Danvers wedding debacle. It seems today isn’t the day that that whole dilemma is going to stop.

The wedding, of course, was still a few months away, but both parties were stressing about it as if it was going to happen immediately the next day.

Kara swoops in then, mussing up Alex’s hair, earning her an annoyed Hey stop it! before putting down another wine glass and pouring for Lena. Her arms are still wet from washing the dishes.

Lena murmurs her thanks and continues what she was saying, “Well, since you’ve finally remembered that I’m a billionaire. Let me pay for two weddings.”

Alex chokes on the wine.

“What? You’re kidding me, right?”

Lena continues typing, ignoring Alex’s shock, you’d think she didn’t just offer to pay for a wedding.

“Well, I mean, I’m never gonna get married,” Lena explains, “but if you let me do this, I can brag around that I’ve paid for two weddings. Not to mention I’m gonna make two brides very, very happy.”

“Or,” Kara interjects, lowering herself on the opposite side of the couch, perfect for Lena to lean back between Kara’s legs and lay her head on the side of her thigh. “You can just wait for Kelly to get here,” Kara says, pointedly. “Talk it out like normal adults and reach a compromise.”

Kara’s hands start to snake their way from Lena’s hair to Lena’s shoulders, massaging, all too aware that Lena won’t stop whatever it is she’s working on on her laptop till everybody gets here.

Lena lets herself melt and closes her eyes, sighing as Kara’s fingers dip at the junction of her neck and shoulder with just the right amount of pressure.

“I don’t wanna get married in the woods, Kara.”

Lena opens one eye to take a peek at Alex, who looks exasperated, her eyes pleading, gulping down another glass of wine.

“Don’t tell me,” Kara replies. “Tell Kelly.”

“The bugs, Kara,” Alex moans. “Imagine the bugs, and the moss and the ughhh.”

She dramatically thumps the back of her head on the couch.

“Imagine the soil. Clumpy wet soil. Eurgh. Ew. What if I fall face first in that? What if I trip over a stupid tree root in my heels? In my wedding dress?!”

“Alex, you don’t even have a dress yet,” Kara deadpans.

“I thought you were gonna wear a suit,” Lena adds.

“You two suck.” Alex pouts.

****

The rest of their friends arrive and Kara finally succeeds in prying Lena’s work laptop away from her. Alex was already teasing the line from tipsy to drunk by the time Kelly comes through the door.

“Let’s get married in Vegas!!!!” Is how Alex decides to greet her fiance.

Kelly laughs, gives her a peck then answers, “As much as that sounds like a very convenient wedding, I don’t think Eliza would appreciate that, baby.”

Alex frowns at being rejected, sags against the couch and crosses her arms. Why does Kelly always have to be right?

“How much has she had to drink?” Kelly turns to Kara.

“Uhh ask Lena. She made her switch to whiskey.”

Lena—who Kelly thinks was way too busy nuzzling against Kara’s neck to even answer her question—mumbles something that sounds like “S’was just two glasses.”

Kelly just shakes her head, makes Alex drink a glass of water. Her ring making a clink against the glass.

“Alright, what if,” Nia sing-songs, eyes sparkling with mischief, “we just settle this whole wedding thing with Charades?”

Nia claps her hands together like some gameshow host and Kelly takes a deep breath through the nose.

She’s been to enough Game Nights to know where this is headed.

Everybody else was intoxicated enough to accept the suggestion as a grand idea, not at all even thinking that: Hey, isn’t this something we should all take seriously?? Maybe ask the brides what they want, maybe???

Kara nods enthusiastically, agreeing immediately, “Oh!! That’s a great idea! Fun and fair at the same time!”

“Olsen vs. Danvers. Brides get to pick their teams.”

Nia pulls a white board out of nowhere, uncaps a marker and writes “Team Danvers”, “Team Olsen” separated by a neat line in the middle.

“Are we really letting Nia take charge of our wedding venue?" She hears Alex whisper from where she has her tucked at the crook of her neck.

Kelly sneaks a glance at the chaos happening before their eyes; Brainy already claiming to be on Kelly’s team, J’onn shaking his head opting to be the game scorer instead and refusing to participate, somebody’s shouting about: NIA, DREAM PROJECTIONS AT CHARADES IS CHEATING!!!!

Guess this is their life now.

Kelly smirks, boops Alex on the nose and says, “Scared you’ll lose, Danvers?”

****

Alex loses by three points.

“How was I supposed to know you were gesturing 'Transformers'!?!” She barks at Kara, throwing her hands in exasperation.

“I pointed at Nia!” Kara huffs, incredulous at the fact that her sister is blaming her.

Nia lost them a point too!

“What does Nia even have to do with it???” Alex’s voice grows higher in pitch. Her brows furrow in a mix of confusion and frustration.

“Trans, Alex. Trans.”

“Oh my God,” Alex groans. “How are you this dumb?”

And that was the story of how Kelly got her dream wedding.

****

The frenzy finally dies down, some time between Nia making up another drinking game and J’onn making her sit back down. A movie that none of them were watching provides a background noise to the almost lazy atmosphere. Kelly and Alex were pressed close on the far end of the couch, enjoying the temporary quiet.

“Guess we’re getting married in the woods, huh?” Alex murmurs.

“I guess we are,” Kelly whispers back. Alex beams at her, grinning dopily at the thought of finally getting the ending they deserve. It would be the perfect day, she has no doubt about that. No matter where they are. It would be perfect because they got there together.

Alex can’t wait.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Nothing.”

Alex continues to smile stupidly, nudges her nose to Kelly’s.

“Just— I don’t really care where we get married, I guess.”

“Oh yeah?” Kelly raises an amused brow at her.

“Mm-hm. So long as you’re the one walking down the aisle.”

Alex presses their lips together, breathes Kelly in deep and for the first time that night, she feels that the future isn’t so scary, even though there is still a very large possibility that she might trip over a tree root on her wedding day.

Somebody interrupts their kiss.

“She’s only saying that ‘cos she lost.”

“Shut up, Luthor.”

****

“Text me when you get home!”

Lena hears Kara call loudly after her sister, before closing the door. Game Night has officially ended and as usual she’s still here. She’ll always be here, she thinks for a brief moment. The thought holding more depth than it should.

Kara didn’t even question her when everybody began filing out and Lena just started picking up the discarded dirty plates and walking them to the sink. They’re well past the point of asking each other if the other would stay over.

It was already some unspoken rule.

Already well past the point of Lena wanting to ask Kara what the hell it is they’re doing.

She’s bent over the sink, scrubbing—Kara doesn’t own a dishwasher for the sole reason that she finds doing the dishes therapeutic—when Lena takes a glance over her shoulder.

Kara is sitting on a high stool near the counter, casually flicking through her phone. It was Lena’s turn to do the dishes tonight. Once upon a time her doing the dishes would have resulted in a fight. “I can superspeed the dishes. Why would you even want to do them?” A statement that would be met with an eye roll.

Kara has learned not to fight her on it again, after around the 7th time that Lena had stubbornly insisted and Supergirl got doused with dishwashing liquid.

And now, it’s become some sort of routine, Kara does the dishes after lunch and Lena does the dishes after dinner. Oh, how the paparazzi would kill for this—Lena Luthor Knows What A Sponge Is?

“Is it true when you told Alex you’re never going to get married?”

Kara decides to break their quiet.

“Yeah, pretty certain about that one, why?” Lena turns around, cocks a curious brow. If she’s being honest she’s beyond certain that she’s not going to get married. She always jokes about how she’s married to L-Corp but it isn’t till now that she realizes how true that is, and...how lonely.

“I don’t know,” Kara murmurs, not meeting Lena’s eyes. “I just like the idea of you getting married, I guess.”

“What?” Lena chuckles at that; genuinely confused but still curious.

“Well, I mean—” Kara wobbles through her words.

“I guess, I just— I like the idea of you walking down the aisle...in a white dress,” Kara muses.

Then, “Or a suit!!” she quickly amends. “If you wanna wear a suit, that is. That can totally be arranged, you know?” Kara waves her hand around and it’s like now that she’s started, she can’t stop.

And Lena’s just standing there, water still dripping from her elbow, unsure of how to feel about Kara imagining her getting married. Quite an incredulous scene isn’t it? Her getting married? What a crazy thing to say, an even crazier scenario to imagine!

She snaps out of it, realizing Kara’s still rambling.

“I have no objections whatsoever with that, if you wanna wear a suit. And yeah, you know? I just— I like that idea. I like the idea of you dancing to your wedding song. The idea of you exchanging your vows, the idea of you-”

“Kara,” Lena decides to put a stop to it, since it’s clearly evident Kara won’t be stopping any time soon. And Lena's feeling way too many things that she doesn’t want to feel at the moment. She’s sure that she’s going to feel more, if she doesn’t put a stop to it herself.

“I’m well aware that it’s the best friend’s job to help with the bride’s wedding,” She says, “but, darling don’t you think you’re putting just a bit too much effort into this? Certainly seems like you’ve thought about it a lot.”

At that, Kara’s cheeks turn a light pink, squirming sheepishly under Lena’s questioning gaze.

Shouldn’t Kara be thinking about her own wedding? How beautiful she would look walking down the aisle. How her blonde hair would look so nicely with her dress. How happy she would finally be after finding someone she could share her life with. Not that Lena's been thinking about those kinds of things. No, of course not. That’d be hypocritical of her at this point. Why would she even— Why were they even talking about this again???

Lena tries to rein in it, tries to focus on Kara again; hands finally finding a dry towel, hesitantly walking into Kara’s space to hear the blonde more clearly.

“Well, I mean- Like I said, I do really like the idea of you getting married,” Kara repeats herself slowly.

And before Lena can come any closer, “Like the idea of you getting married…to me. More specifically,” Kara adds more quietly.

“What?”

Lena stands frozen.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard y- Kara, did you just?”

Lena’s heart is pounding away in her chest. Did she hear her right? Did Kara really just—

Lena’s a step away from her and Kara uses this to her advantage. She pulls Lena closer, tugging at her wrist, the towel dropping from Lena’s hands. Kara summons enough willpower to stare into Lena’s eyes.

“I like the idea of you getting married to me, Lena Luthor.”

“Kara, I’m sorry- What?” Lena jerks away from her, the words finally landing.

“Is that a no?”

Kara lets her go. She can’t focus on Lena’s heartbeat to assess the situation more. Kara’s own heart is betraying her, drumming so loudly in her ears.

“Uh- no, that's definitely not a no?” says Lena hesitantly, eyes wide, breathing nervously. She turns away from Kara for a minute to take a breath, hands fidgeting about.

She whirls around again to face, mutters, “You do realize marriages are for people who are—”

She pauses.

How do you exactly phrase that wedding proposals are for people who are actually in some kind of romantic relationship? And not for people who casually stay over every goddamn Thursday without fail?And okay, maybe sometimes, in a much different reality, would willingly commit fratricide to save the other? And in an also much different reality, willingly expose a secret identity to save the other?

Lena can’t find the right words.

“Oh, I don’t know, Kara,” Lena scoffs, shaking her head disbelievingly. “Marriage is for people who are actually dating each other.”

Kara takes her sarcasm as a good sign and pulls her in again.

“Well,” Kara begins. She can hear Lena’s heart thumping erratically, now that Kara’s gotten her bearings.

“We can always have our first date after the wedding, right?”

Aren’t they well past the point of dating anyway?

She’s got Lena standing between her legs now, her hands wrapping around her waist.

“First date and honeymoon all in one. That sounds great, doesn’t it? I can fly you wherever you want, Paris, Maldives, hell I even have a Fortress in the Arctic, if you’re into that.”

Lena stares at her, blinks once, twice; shakes her head and lets out a noise between a laugh and a scoff.

“Kara Zor-El, you are one ridiculous woman,” She breathes, putting a hand on Kara’s cheek. Because what else is there to say? This whole conversation really is ridiculous. But at the same time Lena feels like she’s floating? Like this may be the best moment of her life, and of course, it’s going to be ridiculous. This is Kara she’s dealing with, after all.

She doesn’t know what she’s going to do if Kara reveals this to be just some sort of joke.

But the way her blue eyes are piercing through Lena’s, so earnest and so warm, argues otherwise.

“So, what do you say? Wanna get married?”

“Are you serious right now?” Lena asks, still unbelieving. This is beyond crazy. They’ve fought aliens and monsters and traveled through time but this? This is just beyond crazy.

“Lena, do I look like I’m joking? And besides, you’d already offered to pay for two weddings, why not pay for our two weddings, instead?”

She shakes her head again, let’s herself fall closer to Kara, lets out a laugh against her neck.

“Mm. You want a Kryptonian ceremony too?”

“Yeah.” Kara’s voice turns shy. “If that’s alright by you.”

“Of course, that’s alright by me. I’d be honored.”

Her heart feels more than full at the thought of Kara wanting to share that part of her with Lena. She’s always had some doubts whenever the topic of Kara’s Kryptonian heritage arises, always half-afraid she’s overstepped on something that isn’t hers.

But looks like there was nothing to fear all along.

“So, we’re getting married, huh?” Kara wiggles her brows, her face breaking into a wide grin.

“Yes. Mm-hm,” Lena hums against her. “I do. I’d marry you. Let’s get married.”

“Seal it with a kiss?"

****

“Hi.”

Lena blearily opens her eyes, follows the soft voice, her bare back being caressed by the sun filtering through Kara’s curtains.

“Hi,” She whispers back. All this feels much too like a fever dream. She’s half-tempted to pinch herself just to check. She’s woken up beside Kara a million times before but she’ll never get used to the sight of soft golden hair and sleepy blue eyes.

Kara gives her a soft peck and the feel of her lips sends Lena reeling.

The previous night was a whirlwind in her mind’s eye. The moment Lena murmured her 'Yes, please.', Kara kissed her passionately. Once they broke away, Kara had zipped around the apartment, Lena too dazed to even ask what it was Kara was looking for.

She watched as Kara tore off a keychain from one of her bags, curled the keyring to fit Lena’s finger and whispered, “This’ll do. For now.”

Kara had kissed her knuckles reverently, her lips making Lena’s blood sing in her veins. The feel of mangled metal fitted just for her left hand is an imprint on her soul. A promise of more to come.

They didn’t make it out of the kitchen the first time. Kara had lifted her by the waist and set her down on the kitchen counter. Which was a good thing, because Lena couldn’t feel her legs after.

They didn’t make it to the bedroom the second time either. She had tackled Kara onto the couch, pinning her wrists together, licking at the shell of Kara’s ear. “My turn now,” Lena had whispered. The way Kara shivered underneath her was enough of a reward. How long had they been waiting for this?

Flashes of last night had her hips bucking slightly unto Kara’s leg sandwiched between her own, but before it could escalate further...

“I have exciting news to share,” Kara tells her.

“Really?”

“Mm-hmm,” Kara hums, now nosing at Lena’s hair.

“What is it?” Lena asks.

“I’m getting married.”

“Oh you are?” Lena plays along.

“Yes. I’m getting married to my best friend,” whispers Kara, almost conspiratorially. “How cool is that?”

Kara looks giddy with excitement and Lena knows she’s mirroring that exact same expression right now.

“Mm. Very cool, darling.”

Kara giggles and they trade more lazy kisses before Lena breaks away to breathe.

“Quite a coincidence though,” Lena husks out against Kara’s lips.

“Oh really? Why?” Kara asks, tries to keep a serious neutral face despite her nose scrunching up in that cute smile that Lena can’t resist

“I’m also getting married,” Lena confides, “To my best friend," she adds, eyes flashing. "Isn’t that great?”

“Very great.” Kara nods slowly, blonde hair falling into her face, a hand running through dark tresses.

“I love you,” Lena whispers, her lips brushing Kara’s softly.

“I love you, too.” Kara kisses her harder then, her hands lazily wandering along Lena’s skin.

They lie there quietly for a few moments, basking in the morning glow and then, “Alex will kill us.”

Lena snorts, twists in the sheets and says, “I think your sister is too busy planning her wedding to even think about plotting our murder.”

read follow-up here.

[many-but-one]

This is going to be somewhat out of character for this blog but I find this somewhat funny, as someone who has finally gotten into deity work in witchcraft. The perception of what some people think (including myself at first) a god or goddess will be like vs how they actually are is quite interesting.

When I first started seeing signs from Loki I was almost like “oh no” and images of chaos and mischief were flying through my head. I was unsure about connecting with him. I really didn’t know that much about him other than the basics. I’d always been much more focused on the hellenic pantheon. Apollo had been my primary patron for a while at this point, and I’d had some connection with Hades and a female deity that I still don’t know (😂😅😬).

However, contrary to what I believed and assumed, Loki has been one of the biggest advocates for self care and self love that I have worked with, period. Of course he enjoys a bit of goofing off and being fun, but he has been incredible in helping me learn that I’m worth more than I give myself credit for, which is something I desperately needed to hear as someone with extreme childhood trauma. Our very first divination session with him was the clearest message I have ever received from a deity, which had two parts to it. The first part was quite personal so I will not share that, but the second part was literally this: “I am here. Tread lightly if you decide to take your craft seriously. Handle chaos with grace.”

Ever since that session I have taken it much more seriously, and I am grateful for the connection I have with Loki. He is always understanding if I need a break due to fatigue or trauma therapy, and almost every time I am needing to speak to him, he has something to say that resonates.

I think the hardest part is that one of the things that shows me I know he’s around is an abundance of spiders and flies, one of which I am terrified of and the other of which annoys the hell out of me😂 I once asked if he could keep the spiders out of the house, as spiders out of the house I’m fine with. Cue there being spider webs alllllll over my front bushes and back pergola that had not been there even the day before asking him that. Thanks Loki, I really appreciate it😂🥰 (/not joking…okay maybe a little bit.) Another difficult part of working with Loki is that he is known for inciting change, and as someone who is terrified of change and non-conformity, it was hard at first! However every time things have happened to incite big changes, it has always been for the better, and I have found that I have started handling hard things better. More…gracefully👀

I know a lot of people who follow me here are systems and a lot of you have considered witchcraft. Ofc do research and see if this would work for you, but since finally taking it seriously I’ve found a sense of peace and comfort. Religion is not something I have ever enjoyed or felt connected to due to the nature of our trauma but this feels distinctly different than the relationship I had with the Christian god, and I feel incredibly blessed to have this connection.

There’s a website that I looked at when I started working with Loki, and I think they put it very well right here:

So all I can say to those considering witchcraft or deity work: try it! Tread lightly at first, be respectful, be patient. But it has truly given me more comfort and peace than I ever thought was possible and I am so grateful. And remember:

“Handle chaos with grace.”

-Blurred

[cactus-joke]

the thing i will never wrap my head around is introducing sylvie as a frankenloki & then giving her absolutely no depth despite her being the key protagonist of season 1... like mike must hate women for the fact that

1) all the tva women of color are sidelined immediately (at least the two w the most prominent & interesting roles/backgrounds) for a white ladies development

2) you can count all the tva lady agents we see onscreen w one hand

3) frankenloki aka sylvie has a bunch of gaps for a character like where’d she get blonde hair dye. if ure hellbent on revenge why are u making stops at wallmart 2 get a box of hair bleach. where’d she get asgardian leather but SPECIFICALLY for her top (she’s wearing baggy pants & combat boots w that ensemble??? which as i say it also sounds like those corny wattpad “put my hair in a messy bun, wore my combat boots” fanfic outfits 😭), why and how did she get the AoA loki horns, she didn’t have them when she was taken. if she hates the loki association why’s she wearing the horns & the color green which is... the biggest target to be perceived as loki

4) if she’s an important part of the self love metaphor romance why does she always make this face “😐🤨🤢😐🤨😐” when loki talks (berating him & betraying him in the end aside ofc!)

5) why do we not know her nexus event? why do we not know why she chose the name sylvie? why does she have no prominent character traits outside of having a vagina? why is she cis? why did she get taken at the tender age of an elementary schooler but not when she was born if her crime was being born a girl?

6) has mike waldron ever met, spoken to, or seen a woman? has he engaged in critical, intelligent conversation with anyone, really?

7) can i be emotionally compensated by disney for simultaneously the most BORING (how do you make.. the god of mischief & tricks... boring is beyond me) and convoluted overstuffed show for wasting my time?

I don't know that Mike hates women, but I do think, based on his interviews and the resulting product he made, that:

1) It was certainly a choice to make the two prominent black female characters slaves to a fascist organization and one essentially a leader of it. A choice I don't think anyone involved in creating this show spent a second to think about.

I don't think they were necessarily sidelined on purpose, however. I just think it's an inevitable by-product of the show's terrible pacing and even worse writing. That scene one between B-15 and Renslayer, a scene I think was ultimately a waste of time, made me think that they probably did want to highlight at least those two characters on their own merit. They failed, of course, in the end, and with the set-up I think the intention or lack of intention doesn't really matter since we get what we get, you know?

It's not really a shinning example of giving your characters of color time and care, either, but I do have to highlight B-15's moment of doubt, a scene I think Wunmi Mosaku absolutely killed (seriously, everyone needs to check out her other work, she is effort and talent personified.).

Besides that, if you ask me, no character in this show has any real development anyway, including Sylvie. It is an uneven display of screen-time because obviously she's a main over everyone else but, like, can it even be said that Sylvie particularly benefited from it? I don't really think so. As you said, she has no depth, she is just an empty girlboss fantasy, and the diversity in general in this show feels empty to me.

2) I didn't really even want more TVA foot soldiers to be women. It wouldn't be a diversity win so much as just more empty pandering and Marvel's typical (military) propaganda fuel.

Anyway, I'd like to highlight some youtube creators of color who make great in-depth videos on this issue:

Khadija Mbowe: Color-blind vs. Identity-conscious casting and examining Hamilton and Malcom & Marie

Town of Tawiah: Performative Diversity and Colorism in Film | Dear White People Review, My Wife & Kids,HTGAWM & More

Cheyenne Lin: GOOD Representation Matters | Colorism and Casting

There's obviously way more, but these videos are a good starting point to expand on this topic from people who know what they're talking about. I put a link to their videos while the link on their names will lead you to their respective channels.

3) Sylvie's whole appearance is bullshit from the get-go. They deliberately used comic book references on her to confuse us and make their dumbshit twist of: oh, see, she actually is a Loki variant!

I remember seeing a post essentially saying whoever thinks Sylvie is a Loki variant with 100% certainty is media illiterate lmao, so I guess it worked on some people.

So, you know, IMO, it doesn't matter that it doesn't make sense for her to wear Loki's signature colors and the iconic AoA head-wear, she just does because fuck you.

Also, "if ure hellbent on revenge why are u making stops at wallmart 2 get a box of hair bleach." lmaooo - she just wanted to be her own person, you know, visually, but only with her hair and nothing else :)

4) Sylvie so very clearly doesn't even like Loki all that much, certainly not as much as he likes her (she is a girlboss after all, "she's got shit to do!"). It would be funny if it wasn't tragic. I do feel bad for Larry from accounting :(

5) I'm guessing we don't know her nexus event because they kinda never bothered to define what it was and they don't care. Maybe Renslayer saying she doesn't remember her nexus event was supposed to be this moment of like cold truth, or an attempt to hurt Sylvie because she knows but won't tell her, or, you know... actually, who cares.

6) I think Mike has spoken to women and I think he's had plenty of intelligent and critical conversations at his level. Which is a relative zero to a generous one. Perhaps two on a good day.

Idk though, jokes aside, his writing on this series is childish and lazy, his view of Loki is boring and reductive, his original script he used for this show is absolute shit, and that's all I can really say for sure.

7) I wish. The show really is boring when it isn't actively infuriating. It still boggles my mind how this mess even happened. Like, I knew the show would be bad, but this bad? Man oh man.

[of-house-atreides]

This article is breaking my brain

Have you read this article ?

TW: mentions of suicide and also I’m an angry petty bitch

Yes I know this article is from like three weeks ago but I just found it... and I have things to say.

I swear I can’t handle this anymore...

“But today, Loki steps out of his brother’s shadow”... to step in another one. It be the TVA or Sylvie, just... take your pick.

“resuming his role as the God of Mischief” um where? when?

The comedy part is debatable but fine, whatever... I must have missed the noir crime-thriller bit maybe it was between two scenes of Loki getting his ass kicked by literally everyone in this show.

Yeah you forgot that end-credit scene showing Loki alive and well in IW/Endgame.

And no, alternate/variant Loki doesn’t count, he’s not the same person/character.

Because of course when you think of Loki you instantly think his story should take place in a “bureaucratic nightmare” -

And why not hire competent experienced people for Multiverse of Madness and Loki? Is this Marvel’s way of telling us they don’t really care about these projects?

Kevin really said “no experienced writers on this project, let’s just hire whoever” - or maybe it’s a budget thing? Less experience means less zeros on the pay checks?

Wow, ok.

So not a fan of the movies nor a fan of the character, just a fan of the genre, that explains a lot...

“what was really important to me was stripping away all the fantastical elements” ... ?? I’m sorry?? What?? So removing all the fantastical elements from a show titled after who is supposed to be the main character who is a GOD and a prince from another realm/planet was what was important?? The Trickster God of Mischief, magic wielder, master of illusions NEEDED to be stripped from his FANTASTICAL ELEMENTS???

ffs

“find the heart of this story” - is the heart of this story Loki becoming best friends with his (mental and physical) torturer after what? 2 days? Was it falling in love with the ‘superior’ version of himself after only 13 hours together? I’m still looking for the heart of this story.

“what is the relatable message at the center?” - well apparently it’s ‘you can be a God and a warrior with magical powers but still get your ass kicked by literally everyone all the time and never use your strength and skills to fight back’. Or it’s the power of love, idk -

Oh wait, is it falling in love with the female version of himself? For a weird ‘love yourself’ metaphor? That must be it.

Or maybe it’s jet skis.

Ah yes, the ‘you can be good, actually’ message of this series that is so subtly presented to us...

They really missed the whole fucking point of Loki.

They missed it so bad they made him call himself a narcissist (which he isn’t btw).

For the record, Loki is a prince of Asgard who learnt one day he was adopted and in fact taken from one of Asgard’s worst enemies, the King of the Jotuns, aka Frost Giants “the monsters parents tell their children about at night”. He found out he was not only adopted but also abducted and not out of love. He feels not only betrayed but he thinks he understands now why Odin always favoured Thor and why he’d never have the same love from Odin that Thor has had his whole life. He thinks of himself as a monster and wants to be worthy of Odin’s love. So he tries to get it. And sure, he doesn’t do it in the best way, and yes, he is the villain of that story. But Loki isn’t a villain. He doesn’t like to make people suffer, he did it out of pain, out of hurt. The events in Avengers was after he was thoroughly tortured and coerced by Thanos to invade Earth. There is even a moment in the end when Thor asks him if he thinks this ‘madness would stop under his rule’ (or something along those lines) and he looks unsure and regretful. But due to the fear of Thanos and insecurity about himself (love is weakness or whatever) he keeps going. He redeems himself in Dark World, again in Ragnarok and yet again in IW and he was thrown in the trash for it.

Yes, Loki’s story is complex, but it really isn’t that complex... So maybe Loki is a “scared little boy” but his way of acting out makes sense and there’s a legitimate reason for it that was not explored in the show. And his backstory is probably what she called the “bells and the whistles”... 

“we literally delete his universe” - and apparently you deleted his personality too

“it’s a story of reinvention ... can Loki find goodness in himself?” - again, you’re missing the point. Loki is insecure, but not about his ability to do what’s right, but about whether or not he is worthy of love! Finding goodness within himself comes AFTER!

“Loki’s journey, to me, is really about acceptance of himself” - several questions here, um, first, what about himself does he need to accept? That he’s a Jotun? The show never mentions it. That he’s done bad shit and should forgive himself for it? Give him a reason to. Self-love doesn’t come after being mentally and physically tortured by some guy who acts like he’s your best friend after 2 days of working together and being yelled out that “he can be anyone he wants, even something good”.

Show, don’t tell, isn’t that the point of your job?? The job you begged for??

Loki’s journey should have been about self-love and no, falling in love with the female version of yourself (who keeps saying they have nothing in common (because they don’t!)) doesn’t count!

“a more mature and darker path” ...

well this is interesting... was making Loki a clown and the butt of every joke part of making the show mature and dark? Were the terrible attempts at humour? Him being beaten up every two seconds? Having him say lines he’d never say in a million years just to be funny but since it’s out of character for him it fails completely? Was making him incompetent and a complete idiot part of that attempt of making the show mature and dark?

Is that why there’s no magic? You cut off the magician so your show would be more “mature and dark”?

Having him cry every episode doesn’t make your show mature and dark.

Loki from Thor, Avengers, the Dark World and even IW is mature and dark. Your Loki from your series is just a pathetic clown.

“don’t give viewers the story they are expecting” - I personally wasn’t expecting any story, I just wanted Loki, you know, in this Loki series, supposedly all about Loki, and you guys couldn’t even do that.

So this is the author of the article speaking here, I’m guessing, and I think they’re giving a summary of the show so far, so let’s break this down:

“This is Loki as we’ve never seen him before” - I 100% agree -

“Stripped of his self-proclaimed majesty” - ok, first of all, Loki is a prince, that’s a fact, he didn’t make that up, and for the few years he was King of Asgard disguised as Odin, he seemingly did a great job, so...

“but with his ego still intact” - ah, yes, his ego, you know, because he’s such a narcissist... oh wait -

yes he has an ego, but he has a regal one, not misplaced entirely either - his ego in the show is basically him underestimating the TVA and Mobius (as well as the Time Keepers) - his ego is him getting offended by the variant: the ‘superior Loki’ - his ego in the show is used as a weapon to humiliate and belittle him.

“he faces consequences he never thought could happen to such a supreme being as himself” - he literally tried to k*ll himself in the first Thor - literally a result of his own actions - when he returned to Asgard in Dark World, he didn’t try to pretend he hadn’t fucked up. He didn’t try to hide what he had done (he tries to deny to Mobius in episode 2 that he was manipulating them at the fair) - he sacrifices himself in IW... but sure, Loki from the series is indeed surprised that he is powerless (even when he doesn’t need to/shouldn’t be)

“there is a lot of humour ... he is taken down a few pegs by the TVA” ... he is humiliated by the TVA - definitely not what we were expecting, I’ll give you that.

“sentenced to a lifetime of bureaucracy” - definitely did not expect that either

and here comes my favorite quote: “it’s a sad Loki without any mischief”

yes - yes - yes

that is a good summary of this goddamn show, a sad, pathetic, powerless Loki without any personality 

“fallen God” - yeah that’s definitely not what I was expecting either from the Loki series so good job on subverting expectations I guess...

“who is going to win out in this match between them?”

there is no match - Loki is powerless - he’s been turned into a pathetic docile harmless wet dog - Mobius literally mentally (episode 1 and 4) and physically (episode 4) tortures him, both time in an attempt to have Loki do his bidding - Loki is the dog and Mobius is the master - even when Loki ‘tries’ to manipulate him it fails because he’s underestimating them (by overestimating himself) - he uses obvious techniques to manipulate the TVA (episode 2) and nobody buys it because it’s not subtle at all! Loki is smarter than that, he is a TRICKSTER GOD FFS!

“there is an interesting dynamic between them that maybe you haven’t seen with Loki in the Marvel movies” - yeah, maybe there’s a reason for that... like... he wouldn’t... submit so easily... he’d be wary, cautious, cunning... he’d be... himself...

Sans déconner ?

It’s like whoever wrote the series didn’t actually know shit about Loki... like that wasn’t fucking obvious...

And those lectures were apparently done after the script was written so... again, no surprise there... we can see that

Well...

“we wanted the show to be imbued with mischief” vs “sad Loki without any mischief” choose your fighter

“Loki has this very sensitive, damaged, broken heart with an enormous capacity to feel emotion on the biggest scale.”

Are surprised that only Tom so far has portrayed and talked about Loki accurately?

“loneliness, sadness, anger and grief and loss”

I love this man.

I do wonder what Mr. Branagh thinks of the show...

I’m of the people who see a vulnerability beneath those layers of charm and playfulness. I love Loki because he’s smart and cunning and regal, and elegant and sophisticated. I love him cause at the end of the day, he just wants to be loved, and he deserves to be loved.

And in the end, the only Loki I can’t stand is the one from the series.

[oceanera12]

Sylvie should not have been a Loki-Variant, Change my Mind

Soo...

I have some problems with the Loki series.

Don't get me wrong, it's a fun show to watch and I enjoyed it (for the most part) but there is one specific thing that I have a major problem with:

And it's how they decided to portray/use Sylvie.

Because LET ME TELL YOU-- She should not be a Loki-variant. Heck, her character isn't even BASED on Loki.

Sylvie is based on this gal right here, The Enchantress (who is usually named Amora, but there is also another version of her running around whose name is-- wait for it-- Sylvie Lushton)

Heck, Sylvie even "enchants" people, which is what "The Enchantress" is kind of known for. Sylvie is very serious in the show, with no "joking" or "mischievous" side, and yes you could make the argument that she's had that stomped out of her because SURVIVAL. But I'll raise you a "Loki makes jokes/messes with his opponents when he's defeated or taken prisoner by literally everyone." And Yes, I know they made her different because of the Character dynamic but it's one of those things that I don't think she should have been a Loki variant. At all.

Now, me being me, this was something that bugged me so tremendously, I tried to figure out how I would have personally introduced/changed Sylvie into something a little more... well, not a Loki variant.

Here's what I came up with:

Let's start with the show setup: it would basically go the same with Loki getting taken by the TVA, recruited to fight a variant Loki, figure out where the Variant is hiding, etc, etc.

We'd still have the whole "hood reveal-- GASP, A WOMAN"

But said woman doesn't just run away without a word. Instead, she holds out a hand and says something along the lines of "if you want to live, then come with me."

Loki being, well, Loki, is extremely curious and goes along with her.

The episode would end with Loki asking who she is, and she gives him this surprised look. "Sylvie."

Loki: ... *confused look* "I thought you were a Loki-variant."

Sylvie: *also confused* "...Do you really not remember me?"

The episode ends with the two staring at one another then cuts to credits.

The next episode is different from the rest of the series because it is a flashback episode to Loki's childhood. Without going too crazy on the details, Loki had a childhood friend named Sylvie. The two of them bonded over having magical abilities and would get into trouble together. They'd go places they were not supposed to go and such. One day they went to such a place and something bad happens. I'm thinking giant monster attack or something similar. Loki and Sylvie get into big trouble and Sylvie gets into a difficult position and she screams for help.

Then there is this moment where we have a timeline split with the following two scenarios:

In the first scenario, Loki leaves Sylvie behind and saves himself (this is Loki's timeline). A few days later, the Asgardians pulled Sylvie's dead body out of the place they were not supposed to be. Loki never comes forward about how he left her and everyone just assumes that Sylvie got herself killed by going into the forbidden place alone. Young Loki feels guilty about leaving Sylvie to die, but he forces himself to forget about her and convinces himself that if he hadn't left her, then he would have died (this is kind of the start of Loki leaving people/betraying people who are his friends and family.)

In the second scenario, Loki hesitates but ends up going to help Sylvie. Both of them make it out of the dangerous area alive, but Loki is badly injured and ends up dying from his wounds shortly after they escape. Sylvie takes his body back to Asgard, basically knowing that it's her fault he's dead and she is going to be punished for it. However, Odin and Freya both see Loki's death as a heroic one, as he went back to protect his friend, despite the fact that both of them were not supposed to be in that area. In other words, Loki died a warrior's death and will be received into Valhalla, which is a comfort to them both. Sylvie (who I forgot to mention is another orphan that was just being raised in the Asgardian equivalent of an orphanage) is not exactly "adopted", but she is taken in by Odin and Freya, to honor their son's sacrifice. In turn, Sylvie takes on the name "Loki" as a second name to honor her friend. It is perhaps a year or so after this event, the TVA shows up and wipes out the timeline (I justify this because if Sylvie in the show is not supposed to be a girl and that's her "crime against the timeline" then she should have been taken by the TVA when she was born). Since Sylvie has taken on Loki's name, she is technically a "Loki" variant, which explains the whole "Loki variant" is behind all of the disturbances.

Now, I would personally play this Sylvie with a different personality. So Sylvie in this version is less in the REVENGE route and more in the SURVIVAL state of mind. Her entire goal is to survive. And if that means taking out the TVA to do that, then so be it. She's been planning this for years and everything was going according to plan, but then the TVA brought in a variant Loki.

Now, Sylvie knows that this Loki isn't HER Loki. But she doesn't know what Loki did to her in the normal timestream. She thinks that maybe she was strong enough to get both of them out or maybe Loki and her managed to both escape. In her mind, Loki is her friend and basically the closest thing she ever had to family. So even if this Loki isn't her Loki, she's going to try and help him survive.

Sylvie explains all of this to Loki, who is now feeling a tad guilty about leaving his Sylvie to die, but also feels a bit justified since he clearly would have died if he had gone back for her. Loki being Loki lies to Sylvie about what happened to her, basically painting a tale where Sylvie died the heroes death in his world, and the name had caught him off guard since his Sylvie was dead and he did not know how she would look grown up.

The show continues on, the main focus on Loki and Sylvie's relationship being more friendly on Sylvie's part, with Loki slowly feeling more and more guilty about lying to Sylvie. Especially when this Sylvie basically swears to him that she is not going to watch another Loki die.

Sylvie is very determined and focused, like she is in the show. She is still distrustful of people, EXCEPT for Loki (my reasoning behind this is even though he's the God of Mischief and such, Loki promised Sylvie when they were little that he would never lie to her. And that was a promise Loki had kept... until meeting Variant Sylvie).

Meanwhile, Loki has the internal conflict over him basically killing his own Sylvie, especially as he grows to really like the very-much-alive Sylvie. Here is all the flirty scenes and such. Loki probably decides at some point that he is going to try and make it up what he did to his Sylvie, by deciding to keep this Sylvie safe and happy.

Most of the show continues on pretty much the same, with the big climactic fight at the end except for one difference:

Kang the Conquerer or whoever the kriff that guy was, reveals to Sylvie what happens to her in literally every. Single. Timeline. Except hers.

So that Sylvie vs Loki fight in the show, is now a legitimate Sylvie vs. Loki fight. Loki, at this point, was probably planning on telling her the truth, but creepy not-the-watcher-but-kind-of-the-watcher dude beat him to it.

Loki tries to apologize to her, convince her it's a bad idea to kill this guy, and all that stuff, but it's too little too late. She decides to spare him, out of respect for her Loki but basically tells him that if he ever shows his face to her again, she will kill him. Then she shoves Loki through the portal, kills the creepy dude, and proceeds to drop to her knees and sob because the one person in the world that she thought would have her back, did not.

Now, Loki is determined to keep his promise he made to himself about keeping this Sylvie safe and happy, even if that means she is going to kill him if he returns and that is his mindset going into Season 2.

And that's all I've got at the moment since Season 2 hasn't come out yet. I shared this with my Padawan and my boyfriend and both were extremely interested in it so I thought I'd share it on here.

((Also, now I don't feel weird about shipping these two because I'M SORRY shipping a variant of the same person is just... weird. I can't do it without feeling weird, okay???))

[fermented-writers-block]

Who and what is Kikimora?

Although she has only made a single appearance in the show with just barely three lines to her name, Kikimora is an interesting character to me in what her apparent position and possible inspirations could mean in terms of the overall plot and history of the Boiling Isles going forward. 

Starting off, it is interesting to note how, so far, Kikimora is THE most respected character we’ve actually seen in the show - as Belos has yet to make an official appearance - as well as having one of the biggest yet understated impacts on the plot. Of course, the former can be inferred by how Lilith - THE leader of the best of the best witches outside of Emperor Belos himself - defers to her in a subservient manner, but for someone with such little screentime, Kikimora’s appearance set into motion an impending deadline that Lilith now has to fulfill soon if she wants Belos’ end of their promise. 

Additionally, it’s a subtle detail, but Kikimora’s use of just Lilith’s first name implies a ton of familiarity between the two and or that Kikimora is much, MUCH higher ranking than Kikimora in the hierarchy. As for figuring out what position she fills, well:

She is most likely Belos’ right hand woman after all, and quite literally at that. 

However, besides the literal wordplay of her design, I’ve been looking into the origins of her name and found that "kikimora" refers to a kind of spirit within Slavic mythology of which there are two kinds: one from the forest married to the spirit Domovoi,and the other from the swamp married to the spirit Leshy.

There's conflicting accounts on whether kikimora are evil or simply a difficult spirit to appease between the sources I could find, but a common thread seems to be a close association with spinning and being a symbol of impending misfortune with her psychic abilities. 

However, what I find most interesting and what I’d like to focus on here is the way she is most commonly depicted in terms of appearance. Between the unclear translated details of her exact stance and attitude towards humans, all of the sources I’ve seen more or less agree that she is a kind of powerful house spirit that is small enough to pass through keyholes, and that she is either a goddess of or are highly associated with chickens - sometimes bearing chicken feet like the ones in the drawn rendition below:

As to why I find this detail interesting, for those of you who haven’t been following my discussions with my friend @sepublic​, we have been working on plotting out the various possible narrative parallels between the characters of The Owl House and the in-universe characters of the Good Witch Azura series for a while now, with Luz and Amity being Azura and each other’s Hecate, Eda and Lilith as the old lady/mentor figure, and King and Emperor Belos as the likely small animal companions/proclaimed group leader.

With these parallels established, I have come to the conclusion that there is a FOURTH set of characters - one whose correlation in the Azura books we’ve yet to see or hear about, but will play an important role in both the overall Owl House plot and the in-universe Azura series - of which Kikimora makes up one half on Amity’s side. 

Assuming that Kikimora takes a decent amount of inspiration from her namesake in a number of ways, the most likely candidate for her parallel that I can see is - as surprising as it may seem - none other than Hooty, aka this goofball:

TLDR: Why I think both Hooty and Kikimora might turn out to be/have been bird-themed deity-like entities supporting their respective rulers, or how the epic kaiju fights were in our houses all along

To explain what I mean, with the major fan theory that King used to be the Titan/an actual king of demons and some of the recent character interactions these last few episodes, I believe that Hooty and Kikimora might be even more similar than just the mythological connotations behind Kikimora’s namesake.

For a long while now, I have been theorizing that Hooty will turn out to be a powerful owl-like spirit or being with a very severe case of power and memory loss, but to be more specific here, I think that Hooty - or the Owl Deity as I’ve taken to calling the being in the owl mural - used to be King’s second in command. 

Here, I think such a revelation would fit well with the kind of misdirection present within The Owl House’s storytelling. After all, for as much as Gus picking Hooty in UW was played as a joke, one must remember that Gus had been looking for THE most interesting, accomplished, and noteworthy person he could get, and it would be just like this show for Hooty to turn out to actually fit that criteria, much like Luz’s “bad girl chosen one” description in WBW being extremely applicable to Amity the next episode. 

In a similar vein, while King immediately shutting down Hooty’s declaration to become his recruit in AitE was a quick and funny joke in the moment, Hooty calling himself King’s “faithful pal” and the bonding moment the two shared after the carnage when King found himself ultimately relying on Hooty’s strength in the end feels to me much like the Owl House writers setting up hints for what kind of dynamics the two might have had in the distant past. 

Now, I know you must be wondering how exactly this would further tie into Kikimora being parallels with Hooty. Well, the thing about that is that I suspect that both of them played a major role in helping their respective rulers come to power a long, long time ago.

Specifically, as two bird-based deities - not necessarily gods or chicken-based ones per se, but incredibly powerful beings that might have been seen as akin to such - that King and Belos turned to for help in different ways.

I admit that this sounds like a pretty major stretch - especially in regards to Kikimora and her three lines of dialogue - but given the multiple posts of evidence-adjacent details I’ve made for Hooty being the Owl Deity, I think this would make the correlations between the two all the more cleaner. 

With King and Hooty, I could see the latter potentially being the former’s first loyal follower and or main enforcer of his will, a reliable friend and powerhouse that King depended on until both of them were overthrown and reduced to the sad state we see them in now. 

And with Belos and Kikimora, I could see the former having been a fresh new recruit in King’s army back then, one who became fed up with his arbitrary demands and impulsive abuses of power - much like Private New Guy in AitE - and called upon Kikimora for her help in staging a mutiny against Hooty and King. Meanwhile, I could also see the latter being themed after a different bird within the world of The Owl House than chickens, potentially even being the basis behind Lilith’s corvid iconography and maybe the wings on Belos’ symbol.

That said, to contrast Hooty and King’s relationship, perhaps Kikimora and Belos’ is more transactional in nature befitting how in some folklore, kikimora - when pleased with the family of the house she resides in - apparently serve as their guardians and can warn her family of impending disaster with her powerful psychic talents, whereas only when she is displeased does her mischief to act up for the residents within. As such, Belos may or may not be doing something to make sure he keeps her favor as an asset to use and keep control over her/to enhance her powers, something which possibly could even be connected to the apparent search for items of eternal youth.

Though just to get this clear, I am NOT saying that Kikimora is the real mastermind behind everything while Belos is a mere figurehead. Rather, I’m suggesting that Belos and Kikimora might be more like business partners in crime compared to the possible past friendship Hooty and King might have had.

Furthermore, to develop Hooty and Kikimora even more as foils of each other, I think it would be rather fitting if the latter was revealed to have been in this picture the whole time as Belos’ castle itself:

After all, I’ve made note before of how the majority of the Owl House looks like it used to be a portion of a large “Owl Temple,” so considering how Hooty is the house itself and how Amity and Luz’s groups are positioned on opposing extremes, it would make sense if Kikimora leaned into the “house spirit” aspect of her inspiration by being Belos’ castle itself - or at least, being able to animate it, that is.

I mean, there IS always the possibility that she will stay closer to her inspirations and be a separate entity from Belos’ castle - aka where she’s still capable of traveling through keyholes and that’s how Kikimora was involved with Belos’ mutiny by sneaking through Hooty’s mouth entranceway - but personally, I think it’d be rather fitting if in a reversal of folklore kikimoras, she was the keyhole of Belos’ castle instead.

After all, if she IS the castle like Hooty is the Owl House and both of them turn out to be deity/bird-like beings, then I predict that we might get to see a clash of the titans somewhere down the line after Hooty regains his former form and memories - potentially even having gotten back the rest of the Owl Temple to more evenly match Kikimora in scale for a battle of epic proportions.

Overall, to summarize, I think Kikimora and Hooty will turn out to be parallels in terms of being powerful bird-themed deity-like entities, being capable of becoming and or already being giant “castle/temple demons,” and being/having been the respective second-in-command of Belos and King. 

As for how they would contrast with the other, it’s too early to tell with how little we know of Kikimora at the moment, but judging from how the other characters between Amity and Luz’s groups parallel each other, it will be rather interesting to see how her personality and motives might serve as a reflection to that of the Owl Deity across the extremes of individualism vs conformity.

[mystech-master]

My FGO Servant ideas/Servants I'd expect

These are some Servant ideas that I have had since I've already asked what you guys want.

I know that the Servant has to be someone that people know for the most part, since almost every Servant is someone that everyone knows with a few exceptions.

Some spoilers for other Fate works bellow

Saber

Yagyu Jubei, the One-Eyed Samurai. I feel like his NP will be some kind of Mystic Eye under his eyepatch or something. But if they want to go super Bullshut, I could imagine him being a Pseudo-Servant of Yvette L Lehrman.

Archer

Tchaikovsky, composer of 1812 Overture. The Orchestral song featuring CANNONS! I have already made a Reddit post about it here. I am trying not to just shove people in Caster

Angelica Ainsworth, holder of the Gilgamesh Class Card in Prisma Illya. I wonder how Archer/Caster Gil would react to her, or even Enkidu. I mean we know Kid Gil isn't fond of her.

Lancer

Arachne, the Spider-Woman Weaver. Her Lance would simply be an enlarged sewing needle. She'd either be a sort of Spider- Centaur, or the Spider-Legs would be coming out of her legs. For some extra shit, she might be merged with the Japanese Spider-Yokai Jorogumo, or just reference it similar to how Galatea referenced the tsukumogami. Also, her being a woman made into a monster by Athena, Medusa might gain a new friend.

Sigma,>! Maiya Hisau's son from Fate/Strange Fake. Apparently the True Lancer of the True and False Holy Grail War!<. I really just want him in to see how he'd interact with the EMIYA family. ~~Someone give Shirou/EMIYA some guy friends!~~ Of course, we'll need to wait a long time for strange fate to finish to get him since the author doesn't like using f/sf characters for anything else atm.

Loki, god of mischief. Maybe being half-Jotunn can be a good enough justification to keep him as himself and not need to be a Pseudo. I like OSP's interpretation of a "genderfluid benevolent but mischievous Hearth Spirit who protects the home and family". Genderfluid would open up for one of Fate's many genderbends they love doing, but if they kept him male and make his character about all the kids he has, then imagine...Loki, who is a god of mischief and a dad.........Loki making dad jokes. Although I feel like they might go with the female Loki one since Fate loves Genderbends and IDk if Japan has an equivalent to dad jokes. The reason he'd be a Lancer is the spear of Mistletoe he gave to Höðr which then resulted in Baldr's death which is treated as the precursor to Ragnarok.

Rider

Jiraiya, the Gallant Ninja. It was either this, with him riding his summonable Toad (I mostly think of this video), Assassin b/c Ninja, Caster b/c of reasons covered in the video linked before and some similar videos by the same guy, and Saber with the Nakirimaru, or "wave cutting sword," used to exorcise the Snake Spirit from Orochimaru. I went with Rider so the Rock-Paper-Scissors match of Frog-Slug-Snake matches the classes of Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Orochimaru respectively.

Caster

Tsunade, the Slug Maiden. The reason is mentioned above in Jiraiya's segment.

TOHSAKA, Rin as a Counter Guardian. The closest we'll get to actual Rin on her own with no other god(dess) inhabiting her body as a servant. NP would be the Jeweled Sword Zelretch. Also, imagine Ishtar seeing the older Rin (her vessel)'s more developed body and getting pissed.

Orpheus, the musical son of Apollo. Considering one big part of his story was being so bummed about his wife dying that his music just depressed everyone, even the gods, with his bad vibes, I could imagine them making him into sort of an emo guitar player or some shit. But if that is too lame then giving his Lyre some Siren Song-esque powers might be something since during his adventures with the Argonauts, since when the sirens began to sing he "played music that was louder and more beautiful, drowning out the Sirens' bewitching songs."

Assassin

Not too sure on the spirit, hopefully a Death God, but I want a Pseudo-Servant of Kairi Sisigou. I mean a Necromancer Mercenary, TELL ME that doesn't fit. Also the possible fun interactions he can have with Mordred again, and her family and new friends.

I mentioned above, Orochimaru, with him being a Pseudo-Servant in Souichirou Kuzuki. I just needed a snake-themed servant to put him in because I know everyone wants him as a pesudo so Medea can have her husband.

Berserker

Kriemhild, wife of Siegfried. Either this or Avenger. Berserker would be the most fitting for my idea, but Avenger would also fit and most likely have cooler animations I bet. As the wiki says about her personality: "Kriemhild held a "deep‐rooted and blind love" for Siegfried, such that it's described as "passionate love that repays the murder of one’s loved one with twice the payback." Siegfried's death, rather than assuage the feud with Brunhild, caused Kriemhild to "burn with the flames of revenge."' NP being a more demonic/dark version of Balmung. I wanted her to be a sort of obsessive wife and mother to Siegfried and Sieg (I like to imagine them having a mentor-student to father-son dynamic), the family dynamics between the three would be fun to imagine.

Lycaon, the wolf king. He once tested Zeus' omniscience by serving him the roasted flesh of Lycaon's own son Nyctimus, in order to see whether Zeus was truly all-knowing. In return for these gruesome deeds, Zeus transformed Lycaon into a wolf. He'd be a pseudo for Svin Glascheit. I just needed a wolf spirit to put Svin in. I mean everyone already is imagining Berserker-Jack the Ripper using Flat as a vessel.

Magni, son of Thor. Do I even need to explain who I am using as a vessel for this Spirit?

Avenger

Pandora, the all-endowed first woman. At first, I was unsure about her class. Yes, the whole thing of Pandora's Box was made as a punishment for Prometheus stealing fire (I wonder how Fate would interpret this with the whole Age of Gods vs Age of Man thing), but as the wiki says "She was given knowledge by the gods that she had to wait until humanity perished so that she can finally open the box and release the world's true potential. Because of her immortality, Pandora suffered greatly as people unreasonably tried to kill the undying mud doll whenever they discovered she wasn't human. After so many years of suffering, Pandora began questioning on why she had to go through this for humans."

Captain Ahab, Captain of the Pequod. >!Implied to be one of Watcher's Shadows in fate/strange fake, so the reason he'd be unavailable is stated above!<. His NP would be his prosthetic leg made out of whalebone, which may give him some aquatic abilities. Or it might be the harpoon that he got tangled in which resulted in his death.

MoonCancer

Tsukuyomi, the Shinto Moon God. Using Hakuno Kishinami as a vessel. I mean combining the Admin authority from the EXTELLA's Regalia which grants him kingship of the Moon Cell with Tsukuyomi's moon god authority would be pretty cool. I know a lot of people want a Dioscuri situation where we get both male and female Hakunos but I feel like it'd be one or the other. Of course, this is only if Hakuno NEEDS a god in him. I partially Headcanon that the reason BB made Jinako a MoonCancer was as a test run for when she does it to Hakuno.

Alter Ego

Ergo, The Man Who Devoured God. From The Adventures of Lord El-Melloi. " Because of the method of creation he has several gods within him after devouring their flesh. All three gods within him, one of which is Sun Wukong, have the shared themes of "water gods" and "hands"." Having 3 gods fits man other Alter Egos haveing 3 gods in them (Sakura Five, Ashiya Douman, and Sitonai).

>!U-Olga Marie, the Alien God. The Best chance we get of having Olga back. Similar reason for being summoned as Kiara.!<

Lemme know what you guys think of my ideas and if you'd add anything to them.

[ehehehelokidbyhiddles]

Okay, just finished episode 2. Just in case it's not obvious, there will be spoilers here. There will also be some opinions that you may not agree with. That's fine but don't come after me in replies about it. I'm allowed to have my own opinion on things and express that. This is also pretty long lol. Okay, with that out for the way, here are my thoughts:

I enjoyed this one much more than the first.

I laughed a little at Loki vs Miss Minutes. It was a bit out of character in my opinion but I can reason it that being stuck at the TVA (and apparently having to study) must get boring. Especially if you have a cheery little cartoon character hanging around.

Loki seemed a little more Loki-like in this episode too which I liked. The moment at the renaissance fair was good at first. I thought we were getting some 'old' Loki before the end bit. I know there will be people who disagree in my perception of Loki as a character (and that's fine. You can interpret him anyway you like but so can I) but he's over a thousand years old, not to mention the God of Lies. It's silly for him to let his manipulation be so obvious like that.

Unfortunately, some of the campy stuff was still there in his character (I cringe everytime I see the 'I'd never do it again' clip. People really find that so funny?). It was bearable though. He was less 'cartoon-y' in this episode, at least.

The interaction with Mobius was great for the most part. Hiddles and Owen Wilson have great chemistry on screen. They play well off each other. I still don't know if I trust Mobius fully but, at face value, it really seems that Mobius wants to believe in Loki and trust him. I feel like it could be a front though and he has his own agenda. I could be wrong though.

As silly as it was, I actually (and believe me, it surprised me too) enjoyed Loki's method of causing a scene in Pompeii. I think the reason it didn't bother me like the other silly aspects of the last episode, is that it shows how done Loki is with all of this while also trying to prove he's right. And really, how iconic Loki can you get than him grinning maniacally as a volcano erupts in the background. Very God of Mischief that we never really got see much of in the movies.

I was a bit disappointed with the fight near the end of the episode. It wasn't bad but it showed nothing of Loki's usual fighting style. Sure, he didn't have his daggers but he usually moves a lot more fluidly when fighting than he does in this episode. We could assume that Lady Loki infused her host's bodies with super strength (otherwise they probably would have died considering Loki's body weight is 500 pounds. That display he got thrown into should have been a bit more destroyed because of that, in my opinion) but still, Loki usually fights a lot better than what we saw, even when up against formidable enemies. I guess writing Loki trying to use a dagger on Thanos was a slippery slope to some weird combat choices. I won't go on because then it will probably turn into a bad writing rant.

Anyway, I was also disappointed with the Lady Loki reveal. I predicted that she would be the Loki that's killing the minute men but I had hoped she would look more like comic Lady Loki. Why blonde? It just doesn't make sense for her not to have dark hair too. That look is iconic. Blonde just makes me think of Amora, the Enchantress. I'm just going to have to headcannon that it's to help stay under the radar, even though that excuse doesn't work. She can do illusions, after all. So far, I'm really pleased with the actress that's playing her though (don't know her name, forgive me). Can't wait to see more of her. Ooh, I just thought of a what if. Obviously it's not the case because Loki would have reacted more when she revealed herself but it could have a been cool twist. What if Lady Loki was actually Sigyn, Loki's wife turned evil? It would have tied in well considering the next episode is called The Ex Factor. If anyone wants to write that fic, go ahead lol.

Last point and it is very nit picky. When Loki and Mobius go to one of the places, you can see their breath, indicating it is cold. Loki's breath shouldn't really be visible though, should it? The way I understand it, your breath becomes visible in the cold because your body heat is interacting with the coldness (or something like that. I'm not a scientist). Loki is a Frost giant and doesn't have much, if any body heat. We know that from the Avengers movie where, on the screen, you can see Loki's heat signature in the glass cell. It was freezing cold. I know, its a very nit picky thing and you can reason that Loki uses his magic to make his body less Jotunn-like (because we know how much he hates being one). Still, it was something I immediately picked up on.

All in all, I liked the episode. If the rest of the show continues like this, I think I'll enjoy it. Like I said, it was definitely a step up from the first one.

One final note before I leave you, we all have to appreciate how great Loki looks in the TVA uniform. Sure, I miss his usual armour but he does look very handsome (still not a fan of the hair)

Oh, almost forgot, I did laugh quite a bit when they were showing the different Loki variants. Especially the normal looking one with the trophy. It looked like someone dug out one of Tom's photos from his Eton rugby playing days. Please give us more subtle jokes like this.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

HPHM Amortentia Scent Headcanons

Or as I like to put it, “Scentcanons!” ...I’ll show myself out. 

No but for real, I had an anon asking about this, so let’s dive in!

The question here is what would each character smell in Amortentia vs what another person would smell if they fancied said character. There are also certain characters who we have confirmed from canon. Finally, I’d like to clarify that I don’t think of Amortentia scents being exclusive to who one is attracted to romantically, just that it can go that way. I don’t want to get too deep into shipping, so any loved ones that turn up as scents probably aren’t going to be romantic interests. 

Rowan - We know they smell of parchment, ink, and lumber. As for what they would smell, I think we can safely assume they’d smell old books, tree sap, and probably Fuzzclaw? Speaking as someone who’s grown up with cats, they do have a unique and not unpleasant smell to them. Everything that reminds Rowan of home, and of what they love.

Ben - Someone who had feelings for Ben would probably smell the scent of dust, or if we want to be more poetic, petrichor. Yeah, I like that. It makes sense given how much he hides and sneaks around. As for Ben himself, I feel like he would be drawn to the scent of safer things. At least Pre-Portrait Vault. I’ve seen clean sheets, mint leaves/mint soap, and hot chocolate used as examples before, and all of them agree with me. 

Penny - I can imagine someone would smell whatever her perfume/conditioner is. Let’s go with honeydew, that kinda suits her.  Head-canons for what Penny herself would smell are the metallic scent of a Cauldron, the wildflowers from Kew Gardens (where she’s said her family visits) and also Beatrice’s hair. Come on, Bea is the person she loves the most, easily. 

Merula - Another canon confirmation, Merula smells of nail polish, cloves, and something “elusive.” (The MC/Merula hints continue, I swear to god.) As for what Merula herself would pick up on, I feel like it would be scents that are attractive, but also painful, if that makes sense? To suit her prickly nature. Stuff like smoke and soot, as well as poison ivy. On top of that, maybe something softer to counter-balance it, like pumpkin pie? 

Bill - I feel like Bill would smell of leather. Let me explain. While he’s usually depicted in a variation on his school uniform, we know from Harry’s description that he was “cool.” In HPHM, he doesn’t have the earring yet, but he does have the long hair. I feel like he’d smell of leather. As for Bill himself, gonna go with scents that remind him of home. Stuff like Molly’s cooking, his father’s jumper, even the gnomes out back. 

Andre - He totally wears perfume, he is the type. There are just certain characters (Penny is another) where you just know that’s a thing they do. So whatever type he wears, that’s what the Andre fans pick up on. For Andre himself? I’m gonna go with the scent of a sewing machine, as well as a broom shed, and maybe something that reminds him of his family, since he seems to be close with them. 

Tulip - As for Tulip’s scent, this is going to go full on fanon, and I’m going to say she smells like cherries. Because apparently when the writers were designing her wand, it was going to be made of cherry wood and be a family heirloom. I still think Sycamore suits her better, but I love that idea. As for the scents Tulip would find attractive, I’m going to go with ones that carry a hint of danger. Candle wax, for example, is always close to a fire. The scent of dungbombs feels like a given. If anyone likes it, Tulip would. Finally, I’m gonna go with pond water, because of Dennis.

Tonks - Anyone who fancies Tonks is probably going to pick up on the scent of Zonko’s. That is where she spends most of her time and does all her shopping, after all. As for what she would smell? I’m gonna say maybe a Wizarding candy, like Fizzing Whizbees. The packaging on something like a Fanged Frisbee. And even Filch’s office, because she has cherished memories of practicing mischief there.

Barnaby - Canon time, we know Barnaby smells like sandalwood and fresh laundry, which is just adorable. But I feel as though Barnaby would be drawn to the scent of the flowers and trees from the Reserve, as well as the old, dusty and musty smell of the Dueling Club. For a third scent I think I’ll go with the smell of Hagrid’s Hut. This is totally a head-canon, but I think they become very close friends. 

Ismelda - Well, this one is awkward. The game loves to make jokes about how she smells bad, but maybe to someone who’s in love with her, the scent would be nice? As odd as that sounds. Otherwise, who knows. She had to have cleaned up pretty nice for the Celestial Ball, right? As for Ismelda herself, this one is tricky. But like Merula, I think she’d be drawn to scents that have more of an edge. Fresh ink comes to mind, and perhaps burnt toast. Other than that? I’m not sure.

Charlie - This one also has canon to back it up, Charlie smells like honeysuckle and grass. As for what he would smell in Amortentia...okay, let's get the obvious out of the way right now. Whatever dragons smell like, that’s going to be one of his scents. Because I don’t care what canon says, he works with dragons in the Reserve. He just does. Other than that, I feel like maybe the metallic scent of a Snitch, because we know he’s a Seeker, and maybe the thistles of trees in the Forbidden Forest? He’s said to hang out there.

Liz - I’m pretty sure she’s supposed to smell like lake-water and hay? I cannot find the screenshots, but her scent was also confirmed by Care of Magical Creatures. In any case, Liz is a fairly straight-forward character to get a handle on. Her smells from Amortentia are mulch, (don’t judge her) as well as a Porlock’s fur, and the scent of vegetables. She’s an outdoorsy sort of girl and similar to Newt Scamander, seems to get along better with other creatures than humans.

Chiara - In terms of what someone would smell, I’d have to go with moonflowers. I know it’s the obvious choice, but how can I resist? As for Chiara herself, I’m going to go with fresh soil, hospital sheets, and dog fur. Reflecting her interests in Herbology and Healing, and also representing the sweetest baby to ever exist, Borf. I’ve seen head-canons that she would smell Wolfsbane potion, but it’s supposed to taste disgusting, so I doubt it.

Talbott - Likewise, I think it’s pretty clear that someone would smell the scent of bird feathers if they fancied Talbott. If that’s too cliche, go with whatever product he puts in his hair, since it’s always slicked back. As for what Talbott smells, I’d go with the scent of hay from the Owlery, maybe the quills that he writes his notes with, and finally the scent of his mother, or her necklace. Could be the same, at least as far as he remembers.

Jae - Anyone who fancies Jae is going to pick up his scent, so probably the scent of the Hogwarts Kitchens, since that’s where he spends most of his time. For Jae, okay...money has a unique scent. It just does. And he deals with it a lot, doing what he loves. So I’m gonna say the scent of galleons, turkey sandwiches, and maybe something with more of an edge, like Firewhiskey. Come on, we all know he’s tried it before.

Badeea - She’s a character I don’t know nearly as well, though I’d like to rectify that. I’m torn between saying that the scent of paint would be what someone else smells if they fancy her, or if it would be something that she herself smells because she loves painting. No reason it couldn’t be both. Other than that, she gives me the feeling that she’s someone who would be really into incense and various spices, like maybe sage. So it’s all chemicals with Badeea...make of that what you will.

Diego - I also don’t know him well enough to judge, but I am certain that he’s the type to wear cologne, so whatever it is that he’s wearing is what the Diego fans would pick up on. As for Diego himself, I’m gonna say the resin of a dance floor, the scent of denim (he wears a lot of it) and probably the smell of flowers? He does make a few casanova style lines about enjoying them. And not just the hellebore. 

Skye - No clue what Skye’s scent would be. Probably something strong Citrus. As for what she picks up on, gonna go with the scent of quaffles, ground coffee, and maybe the streets of Wigtown. I just feel like she doesn’t have much of a life outside of Quidditch and her legacy and has kind of turned herself into a machine to fulfil that life goal, without focusing on anything else. 

Murphy - Murphy smells like linen. Don’t ask me why, I just know that this is true. I can just feel it. It suits him. As to what Murphy himself picks up on, among other things he smells Kneazle fur, the wood of a chessboard, and the scent of chalk. I mean come on, this one one of the easier characters to figure out, give me a hard one. 

Orion - Someone who fancied Orion would seriously pick up on the scent of his hair, because that is some glorious hair. Orion himself would probably smell Jasmine Tea, Quidditch Grass, and the scent of sea salt. I’m not sure why exactly, but he’s a character who I’ve actually thought about this for before, and I think these scents are mystical enough but also give the suggestion of an overall healthy balance.

Rath - This is a case like Ismelda, where I don’t think anyone ever gets close enough to smell her, but more out of fear than the idea that she might smell unpleasant. But I feel like she smells like ginger. As for what she would pick up from Amortentia, the metallic scent of a bludger, as well as perhaps the scent of new robes, and maybe broomstick polish? Similar to Skye, I’m not sure. Not because she has no life outside of Quidditch, but we have no idea what it entails if she does.

Beatrice - I feel like anyone who fancied Beatrice (We are not getting into the debate of who that might be) would probably pick up the smell of her makeup? Because she wears a lot of it now, seemingly every day. As for what she would pick up on herself? I’m gonna say the scent of puffskeins, since she seems to be a fan of them and have one of her own. As well as the scent of the library, but specifically the Restricted Section, because I feel like she regularly breaks in. Finally, hmm...maybe something to do with home? Perhaps a fresh baked pie that her parents made? Just throwing out ideas. 

Covered as many characters as I could think of, and there were only so many scents that occurred to me, aha. I hope this helps though, anon!

[lowkeyassgard]

DAY 8 OF LOKI VS. EARTH: FACEBOOK.

Day 8 of Loki vs. Earth and today Loki is confused and pissed off by Facebook.

One shot summary: Loki reads books and wants friends to talk to about said books. Loki joins Facebook to find said friends to talk about said books.

Author’s Note: Hi. I started something called the quarantine series. It’s going to be a series of fun and light hearted one shots to help readers and other writers get through this hard time. I made a a03 collection and a tumblr tag. To join just write a fun, soft, and/or light hearted one shot and post it to the collection @Quarantine_Series or tag it on tumblr as #quarantine series. Anyways enjoy!

After a few months of living on Earth, Valkyrie had bought Loki a phone as a present. With his more positive mindset and less “I will rule the world” attitude she thought it would be a nice way of bringing him into the modern world. People say you can do anything and everything on a phone

Loki used it just for books.

On the first day of having his phone Loki discovered that you could download books and read them on this device. In the comfort of your hand and at your own speed. It was glorious. They were called ebooks and to Loki they were the greatest thing he had discovered on Midgard.

He read all day long. If he wasn’t doing the duties asked of him he was in his bed reading a new book on his phone. At this point he had read hundreds of books. Sometimes 20 books a day. He read anything he could find on every topic. He began to understand Midgard and the way people acted the way they did.

The day that Valkyrie found out that he just used his phone for reading she was appalled. She had spent a good bit of change on the phone and he wasn’t using it for the purpose she intended. She intended him to use it to interact with the Midgard world, make friends, and have fun. All of the apps were already installed and yet the only one he cared about was Apple Books.

No matter what she said Loki just did not care about it. Why talk to people when he converse with all his favorite fictional characters? Why deal with human drama when he could learn about history? Why get out of bed when he could stay in bed?

After a solid talk and Valkyrie ordering as his king Loki agreed to give social media a chance. He clicked on the blue icon with a fancy f in the middle. It came up with a welcome to Facebook page.

“Facebook. Do I put my face on a book?” Loki thought to himself. Maybe Facebook was where you uploaded photos and texts to a book all about your life. Like an autobiography but digitalized for all to see.

The first step was to make an account. It asked for an email and a password. The only email he had was the one he had set up to attach his books to. He typed in “noobmaster69@aol.org” for the email and then “godofmischief” as the password. Easy and simple.

Next he was to select a photo for his profile. Well Loki didn’t have any photos of himself. He didn’t have any phone of anything. He didn’t know why people had to document and capture their face… it wasn’t going to change every few minutes. Loki pressed a button and it opened up to be his face. Oh the camera. Since he didn’t have a photo of himself it wanted him to take one. Well he would cave to the wishes of the technology just this once. Loki stared into the camera while it took his photo. He looked as though he was a greasy 30 year old man that was desperate for any form of interaction. Perfect. Loki selected next.

Then came the questions. What was his name? He tried to type in “ I am Loki Odinson, prince of Asgard, rightful king of jotunheim, god of mischief” but it cut off after As.. Why ask for his full title if it couldn’t handle it. Angry that it didn’t have the capacity for it all he shortened it to “Prince Loki.”

Where was he from? Easy Asgard. Well actually Jotunheim but he was practically kidnapped and raised on lies. Okay let’s just put “Not Earth”. Where did he live? Easy. After the destruction of his home palace he now lived in New Asgard on Earth which was technically Norway. Once again they didn’t want the full story just a location. Why ask if they didn’t want to know? Loki groaned. He clanked in “Earth”

Where did he work and go to school? Loki did not work. He sat around and enjoyed himself while others worked. He was a man of great pleasure. He was too occupied of his own needs to do a job. He ended up typing in “self employed.” He was taught by his now deceased mother everything he was taught. She taught him to read, to write, to do magic. There was no school; just Frigga. In that box he typed in “the arms of Frigga.” Which was the absolute truth.

Relationship status? Single. Lonely. Fuck Midgardians.

Lastly a bio for people to get to know him. What was something he could write that would allow anyone that clicked on his page to truly grasp his godlike personality and existence? He smirked. In the last box he happily typed. “I tuned into a snake. Almost killed my brother. Tried to topple the government. Found a love for books. In that order.”

Loki was now an active member of Facebook. Valkyrie would be proud of him. He was doing it. Taking the first step to make friends and overcome his burning hatred for anyone that wasn’t from Asgard. Valkyrie has explained that people would send him friends requests and once he accepted it they could see each other’s posts and converse. So all Loki had to do was make a post and wait for the friends request to start pouring in.

What should his first post be? Lol knew just what to post.

“I’m Loki Odinson. God of Mischief. Now humans I ask you? What are you the god of? “ Loki pressed post and sat back in his bed triumphantly. He was pissed off that the site didn’t have the capacity to handle anything about him and he had no choice but to shorten everything down but the thought of finding a human that didn’t make him want to take over was exhilarating.

Loki waited a few hours. In that time Valkyrie and Thor both added him on Facebook. Thor said he even made a post to his millions of friends to go friend his mischievous brother. So Loki waited some more.

After a few hours Loki came back to see he had 200 friends requests. He was like a kid on Christmas morning. He accepted every one of them.

But then Loki started to hate this site. Why you might ask? The people were absurd and ignorant. Hundreds of people starting replying to his post saying “god of drinking coffee” “goddess of throwing it back.” “God of donuts.” They thought it was funny to joke. To be a god is no joking matter. To be a god is surely not to be of such foolish items. Gods are powerful. Gods do not throw it back or drink coffee. At least not just those things. To be the god of something is to have it so instill into your being that if it was taken away you would be nothing. Coffee and donuts… humans knew nothing of sacred godlike belongings.

Worse people started poking him. Every few minutes he got the notification that so and so poked him. He just wanted to reach through the phone and break whatever finger they were poking him with. How dare they poke a god. To poke him like some kind of farm animal. He would be respected.

Even worse these women started messaging him asking to see his snake. His snake what could they mean. Loki could not shape shift into a snake and take a photo. They sent him revealing photos begging for his snake. No they could not see his snake form. They were not worthy.

The things these people posted. They whined and groaned about their lives. Posting about their day at work or what their snotty kid did today. No one cared and certainly not Loki. He thought Facebook would be humans worshipping him and begging to get to know him. So far no one had asked him any questions about himself or his childhood. How could they befriend him if they did not know his tragic backstory?

Valkyrie had said if he wanted to become friends with people he should make a post that was more relatable to humans. Loki figured that most humans knew how to read. So for his last attempt of the night to connect to these midgardians he made a simple and relatable post.

“What was the last book you read?”

Loki could not wait for their responses. He loved talking about literature with people. He was excited until the responses actually came in.

Loki was appalled, disgusted, and scared all in one.

People were replying such radical things. Someone said “I read the constitution everyday to protect my gun rights.” Another person “ I read erotic fiction when my husband won’t touch me.” Another saying “ I read company reviews so I can properly bitch my way to a discount the next time I visit there.” And then worst of all “Why read when we can do something more exciting?” What on earth could be more exciting than reading a good book? Yes, Loki loved a good party. Loved drugs and alcohol. Loved sex and orgasms. Loved it all but nothing would top the serotonin that went to his brain when he finished the last page of a book.

The people on Facebook were helpless. Loki slammed his phone on to the counter. If they couldn’t partake in a discussion over books then they could not be discussed to at all. He would not be posting on Facebook again. He would not poke or message another human. He would leave his profile up just so they could think about what they done. Ran off a god that could have blessed their own life.

Loki got in his bed and thought about all the amazing books he would read in the next day and how one day someone would want to discuss them with him. One day he would have a friend. Until then fuck you creepy women that wanted his snake. Fuck middle age men that whined. Fuck everyone.

[yeet-me-dad-dy]

Marshmallow Wars

Pairing - Loki x Reader

Summary - A marshmallow war breaks out in the Avengers Compound at Christmas time.

Warnings - Light swearing.

Word Count - 2,433

Note: This takes place after Civil War, in an AU where everyone gets along.

Prompts that inspired this piece:

“Well, that’s tragic.”

“Show me what’s behind your back.”

“What in all the nine realms is that monstrosity?” Loki stepped off the elevator into the common room to find a massive tree, decorated with all manner of lights and shiny baubles, looming menacingly in the corner. It was enormous, absolutely gargantuan, reaching all the way up to the compound’s ceiling, with the biggest, brightest golden star perched on top that Loki had ever seen. A chill went down his spine as he remembered the Fourth of July, and how Stark had nearly decapitated him with a very similar star. The god made a mental note to avoid the tree.

You chuckled and moved toward him from out of the kitchen. “That, my dear Trickster, is a Christmas tree.”

He gaped at you as you stopped in front of him, a sly grin on your lips. He lifted a finger and pointed at the tree. “That’s a Christmas tree? You said that Christmas trees were about six to nine feet tall.” He turned to gaze up at the monstrosity. “I’d say someone miscalculated the height of this one by about twenty or so feet.”

You laughed heartily. “Yeah, Stark went a little bit crazy.”

Loki scoffed. “Stark. I should have known.” You smiled mischievously at him and he narrowed his eyes as he regarded you. He hadn’t noticed it in his star-struck state, but you had both of your hands hidden behind your back. The corner of his mouth twitched up into a smirk. “What are you hiding behind your back?”

“Sure you want to know?” you asked, taking two steps back. Loki was uncertain now. He may be the God of Mischief, but you knew how to have fun as well. And your fun usually ended in fires and broken furniture.

He took his own step back and held his hands up defensively in front of him. “Show me what’s behind your back,” he commanded, noticing Sam, Bucky, and Steve snickering at the table behind you.

You grinned like the Cheshire cat as you said, “Okay,” and before he knew it, he was being pelted in the face by marshmallows.

“Marshmallow shooter, bitch!” you yelled as you ran away.

“Y/N!” he yelled, grinning as he chased after you.

You ducked behind a couch and his heart swelled as he listened to you giggle like a child.

“Hey, Reindeer Games!” He turned and Sam tossed him a shooter of his own as everyone pulled out their own from various hidden places around the room. All of the Avengers were here, and Loki’s formerly swollen heart stopped. What have I just gotten myself into? he thought.

“Vive la Revolution!” Clint yelled from the rafters, Natasha with him. Sam, Bucky, and Steve tipped over the dining table from their place in the kitchen. Peter was sticking to the wall, Vision was hovering up in the corner by the ceiling, Wanda and Pietro had upturned the pool table to use as cover, Stark and Rhodey crouched in the stairwell, Scott ducked behind a pillar, and Loki rushed over to you, sliding behind the couch just as he was assaulted by a hail of marshmallows. The only two not participating were Bruce and Thor, who were casually having a conversation by the tree, pretending that all-out marshmallow warfare wasn’t currently happening around them.

“Rules are, you get hit, you’re dead, no moving! Powers are allowed!” Stark shouted from the stairs.

“Powers are allowed?” you looked at Loki, and a huge grin spread across both of your faces.

“This is going to be such fun,” he said darkly.

You blocked a hail of marshmallows from above with a telekinetic field as Loki peered over the couch. Scott was completely visible from his place behind the pillar, so Loki easily took him out with a marshmallow to the side of the head.

“Aww, come on, man! That was right in the ear!” he shouted, falling to the floor.

“Who’s next?” he asked you, ducking back behind the couch.

You handed him your gun. “We need to take out the ones above. Go for Clint and Natasha, I’ll defend.”

Loki had to admit that you two made a good team. You were able to take out the Assassin and the Archer easily enough. Your powers made it easy to deflect the “bullets” and Loki was an excellent shot. Peter swung up onto a rafter and used his webs to pull the pool table away from Pietro and Wanda, leaving them exposed. You used your powers to launch some of the discarded marshmallows from the floor at Pietro, which hit him in the chest like a shotgun, and one of the soldiers took Wanda out from in the kitchen. Loki managed to hit Peter in the arm as he tried to swing away, the kid falling to the floor dramatically.

Vision was becoming a problem from his place up by the ceiling. “Loki, go for Vis,” you commanded, and he turned obediently to aim for the synthetic man, who seemed to be having the time of his life.

You blocked shot after shot from the kitchen and the stairwell, your arms quickly becoming tired.

“He’s just phasing, I can’t hit him,” Loki called to you.

“I can’t defend and keep Vis in his solid form,” you explained.

Loki ducked back behind the couch, breathing heavily, and you joined him, marshmallows flying over your heads.

“Here,” he said, handing you your gun. “Solidify him, take him out, then give me the gun back.”

You nodded and both sprang up from your spot. You raised both of your hands, your left keeping Vision still and solid, while your right pulled the trigger, sending a high-velocity marshmallow right into his chest. He laughed out loud and slowly floated down to the floor, where he leaned casually against the wall, defeated.

“Here!” You handed Loki your gun, blocking a marshmallow just as it was about to hit him in the face.

“This is stupid!” you heard Sam call out from behind the table. “They’re too good, we’re not gonna get them from here.”

The hail of mallows from the kitchen stopped and you and Loki took a moment to catch your breath, tucked safely behind the sofa. “I’m almost out of ammunition,” he said, smirking.

“Gotcha covered,” you grinned as you swept all of the discarded marshmallows up from the floor, depositing them in front of the prince. He took no time in reloading his shooter, just as there was a boisterous cry from the direction of the kitchen. You peeked up over the couch just in time to see Bucky charging full speed toward your hiding spot.

Panicking, you put your hands up, sending a bolt of energy right into his chest, which sent him flying backward… right into the Christmas tree, which toppled over with him engulfed in its branches. Everyone stopped, fear permeating the room. Stark and Rhodey came out from their spot in the stairwell, and Steve ran to his friend, worry etched on his face. Just as he reached the tree, a quiet chuckle could be heard, slowly getting louder, until it was a full-on laugh attack. Steve’s face twisted up into a grin as Bucky’s metal arm appeared to give the thumbs up. “I’m okay!” he yelled.

Thor and Bruce were still by the now-fallen tree, and they chuckled to one another before going back to their conversation.

Loki didn’t hesitate, bringing both of his guns up and pulling the trigger on each, one marshmallow hitting Tony in the arm, the other hitting Rhodey’s leg.

“Oh, come on!” Rhodey cried, throwing his hands up. “That’s not fair!”

“No one said this game was fair!” Loki replied, kneeling back behind the couch. He took a shot at Steve and Bucky, who were running back to cower behind the table, but the Captain had his shield and was more than efficient at blocking the assault.

“I have an idea,” you said to Loki, using your powers to retrieve two discarded guns. You were now each dual-wielding shooters. The prince grinned at you.

“Man, this is so not fair!” Bucky yelled from the kitchen, making everyone laugh.

“No, it’s not,” Stark said, smiling widely. “Two super soldiers and Sam vs two magic users. Who’s gonna win?” He leaned in toward Rhodey. “My bet’s on the magic users,” he said.

“No way, man,” Sam said. “We got this. For America!”

The three gentlemen in the kitchen sprung up from their hiding place, shooting violently and yelling a disjointed battle cry. You effortlessly blocked the hail of marshmallows, and with one swift wave of your hand, you flung their table to the side, leaving them completely exposed.

“Oh, shit,” Bucky exclaimed as they scrambled, trying desperately to dodge the hail of “bullets”.

“Language!” everyone yelled in unison, even Loki, who had been let in on the joke. You stopped Sam, rooting him to the ground and taking him out with a marshmallow to the arm… and then the leg, and the side of the head, and then another to the arm. “Alright! Alright, you got me!” he laughed. “Jesus!”

Loki got Bucky in the back as he was running, and he fell to the floor dramatically, putting his hand over his heart. “Uuughhh. Light… fading… Tell Steve… he’s… a punk…” he went limp, his tongue sticking out slightly.

“Very dramatic,” Stark clapped. “10/10.”

The soldier laughed and sat up. “Shut the hell up, Stark.”

Steve was the only one left, and he may as well have been a sitting duck, crouched behind that pillar. “I’m so sorry, Stevie!” you called before dropping your guns and waving your hands. He was pulled out from behind the pillar, his shield stripped from his arm, and Loki stood, aimed, and casually pulled the trigger.

“Ah, dang! Right on the nipple!” Steve exclaimed, eliciting loud laughter from everyone gathered. “Those things hurt a lot more than you’d think,” he said, grinning.

“Is that it? Did we win?” Loki asked as the group began to rise from their various places around the room.

Thor grinned and uncrossed his arms. “Not quite,” he said, giving everyone pause. He reached behind him and pulled two foam short swords out of an empty plant pot. With a mighty bellow, he charged at you and Loki, a sword in each hand. You scrambled, just barely managing to slide out of the way as he launched himself over the couch. Loki, however, wasn’t so lucky. Thor drew one of the swords across his chest before turning to you. The prince fell to the floor, laughing. He hadn’t had this much fun in centuries.

Thor stalked toward you and you jumped over one of the other couches to flee to the center of the room, where there would be more space to fight. Just as you raised your hands, Stark called out, “No powers!”

“What!? You can’t just change the rules!” you call back.

“Sure I can,” he shrugged. “My game, my rules.”

Thor was upon you now and you dodged back just as he swung at your head. You grinned. The God of Thunder was strong and an incredibly good fighter, but you were quick and nimble. The fight didn’t last long, as you used his weight against him, easily dodging his attacks and disarming him. Before he knew what was happening, he was on his knees, both of his weapons now in your hands, one pressed against his chest, the other dangling at your side.

“Please,” he begged, hands up.. “Mercy.” He grinned, enjoying the game. “I yield, Y/N, please.”

You returned the grin. “Does this mean I get to rule Asgard now?”

He nodded feverishly. “Yes, of course, but… Surely the new ruler would wish to have a king at their side? To help them rule?”

There were whistles and hollers from all around the room. “A king, hmm?” You lowered your sword. “You’re right, Thor. I do need a king.”

He put his hands down, still grinning. “I’m glad we could come to an arrangement-” he began, but you cut him off, turning toward the couch where you had hidden.

“Loki?” you called.

He sat up, smiling at you. “Yes, darling?”

“How would you like to be my king?”

He stood and walked over to you, taking the foam sword you handed him. “Aren’t I already?” he asked, pulling you in and pressing his lips to yours. The hollering erupted into full-blown cheering now.

Loki pulled away from the kiss and turned to the god on the floor. “Sorry, brother,” Loki shrugged and Thor nodded, knowing he was defeated. The raven-haired prince raised his sword to his brother’s chest and poked him lightly. Following Bucky’s lead, Thor crumpled to the floor dramatically, saying something about dying with honor. He was hard to hear over the raucous laughter filling the room.

After a moment, you pulled away from Loki, who’d wrapped his arm around your waist, to help Thor up from the floor, as the others did the same for each other. Clint and Natasha dropped down from the rafters and everyone clapped each other on the shoulders and shook hands in good spirits.

“I can’t believe I was the first one out,” Scott whined, then turned on Loki. “And you shot me right in the ear hole, man! Who does that?”

Loki chuckled. “My apologies. No hard feelings?” Scott grumbled, but smiled and then shook Loki’s hand.

Stark sidled up next to the tree, looking downcast.

“Well, that’s tragic,” Loki feigned concern.

“You gonna cry over your baby?” Sam teased.

Stark’s back was to the group, and a sniffle could be heard. “She was so young,” he whimpered, prompting more laughter. He turned around, pretending to wipe away tears. “No, I can’t be angry. Yeah, that took me hours and hours to put up, but she went out in a blaze of glory, so…” he shrugged, smiling. “I’m just glad Manchurian Candidate didn’t get hurt.”

Bucky scoffed playfully. “Uh-huh. Sure you are.”

Clean up was easy; you used your powers to gather all of the discarded marshmallows together and then deposit them into a trashcan. After that was done, some of the others suggested a Christmas movie marathon, which didn’t take much convincing to get everyone to agree to. You curled up on the couch with Loki, sitting on his lap, holding each other close.

“I love you,” you whispered.

“I love you too, darling,” he responded, kissing you gently on the forehead and pulling you closer to his chest as you dozed off.