#god its been a while since i made a nerds post

[bruhstation]

hello tumbled er

greetings and salutation. it is I, senja heterocaine, speaking to you through your favorite home screens. now you might be wondering: where on earth has senja heterocaine disappeared to these past 5 months? well the answer is as simple as it gets

I focused on my studies.

well yes that is the main reason. but that's like the nerd "obvious" answer. there’s other reasons too. some of which includes me getting into new interests, revisiting my old, hibernating interests, getting involved in university organizations and events, getting more involved in big family stuff since I'm the oldest and the only of-age grandchild of grandma from mom's side.... lots of stuff

so I just finished the third semester of premed school right. honestly speaking, with how I was losing motivation on drawing, the art block post-art fight, and lack of time, I decided to well, take a break. and it’s pretty convenient too since it was early on in the third semester. during the entirety of it I was feeling pretty proud of myself like "oh I've been studying a lot. I've taken a break from drawing and blog stuff. surely things will get better" and it did! not immensely but it's significant enough that for once I don't feel an indescribable sense of terror after the semester ends. the focus of this semester was about reproduction systems and growth and development which is pretty fun? we get to use models and medical phantoms hands-on and poke them with needles and other rube goldberg contraptions. I did miss breeding bacterias in petri dishes and seeing my friends burn the microbiology lab’s ceiling like last semester though. my grades are also improving… slowly but surely

(aftermath not pictured: me lounging on the couch scrolling through quora to see if there are people currently in college wanting to drop out)

maybe I was aiming too high. at least my grades are better than the previous two semesters and my social life is much better than it was back in high school. speaking of exams -- I went through my first osce exam around a week ago (practical exam to see if you can actually perform the skills labs lessons from the entire semester like you're a real physician). it was the most terrifying day of the month. my dentist said I have a big tongue and that’s why I can’t speak properly if I’m being too fast. ntm I WAS NERVOUS!!! MY FIRST OSCE!!! with how I memorized everything I needed, I was pretty confident that I'd pass, though. I didn't and retook the exam the next day. the prelude was the worst crash out ever

ah ptooey. I'll just take it like a champ. my tutor who's 3 years older than me and currently in the anesthetic rotation of co-ass told me that things will get easier but that's very subjective. he's a medical olympiad student after all. my parents are pretty happy though with how my academic life is becoming better so that's that

LETS MOVE ON TO SOMETHING LIGHTER. section B: what I've been getting into ever since bruhstation was put on cryostasis

you know Transformers One (2024)? the transformers movie directed by josh cooley? based on the Transformers(tm) franchise by Takara Tomy and Hasbro? most tragic break up movie of the decade? I watched it twice, squealed once, and left me broken and inconsolable for weeks on end. it made me revisit my dormant transformers interest after 5 years. I've reread the idw comics (mtmte, LL, taao, main transformers comic), and is currently checking out more (reading the wreckers saga right now). god it made me miss rodimus and friends' zany space opera adventures. I've always envisioned casa tidmouth to have the same tone as mtmte... the oftentimes dark humor, fridge horror stuff, weird magic/science, the roller coaster of emotions, confronting the past... its crazy good.

stories where misfits and knuckleheads band together in a confined space while having crazy doctor who-like adventures am I right. like I want casa tidmouth to be like that. remind me to thank 14 year old me for this trip down memory lane. and as usual, I tend to make self-indulgent crossovers of any interest I'm thinking about at the moment with casa tidmouth

a terrifying sneak peak on what's to come.

I've been working on my oc projects too. you may have seen some of them on artfight (graciela, saudade, altair, etc) but I've been focusing the most on graciela and saudade's universe, children's heterotopia. it has the largest amount of characters in any story I've created (not counting casa tidmouth), the most effort put into planning the stories and weaving in its themes about capitalism, patriarchy, period-typical bigotry, etc. there's human experimentation and they're given powers that range from punching super hard to time and space displacement. I also inserted whatever I wanted into the story. sure, yes, there's a lesbians-only organization of which its members are named off the knights of the round table, theres a mafia that focuses more on the family drama and attempted parricide from all angles, and tragic assassin maids of which their names are wuthering heights references. also if you've been following my main tumblr hajimedics for a while, you might've seen my three fairly oddparents ocs. well I've given them the tezuka star system treatment and inserted them into children's heterotopia as well.

I've also gotten into UTAU production! I've made a number of UTAU covers but haven't uploaded them to youtube. only shared them around with my friends on priv twitter. a good friend of mine assisted in the creation of my own UTAU voicebank! their name is TORKA (like "torque"), their voice bank has a slight accent when singing in japanese (because I'm their voice lol) and CV-only, their in-universe lore is that they're an intergalactic train conductor picking up wayfarers and outcasts trying to find a place in the vast universe, and I love them dearly

moving on! this is a thomas the engine and company blog THIS IS A LIFE UPDATE POST

I'd rather not discuss about how I'm doing mentally in deep detail BUT what I'll say is that I can't confidently say "I'm doing better" or "I'm doing worse" because it always depends on the days. things are okay-ish nowadays. some days are scary. some days are boring. I still experience delusions, (ironically) worried about my anhedonia, and believe that certain bouts of confidence will trigger a jinx, but I think I've been controlling myself well? at least? I keep internalizing the belief that I'm an adult. 20 years old. I have to act accordingly and my life in real life is ten times more important than the internet. things are going to change more and more once I graduate premed and began the co-ass program. I have to think 10 steps into the future. building successful connections before you turn 30. sigma grindset and all that. sorry that was my father using my body as a spirit medium

AND ALSO. ALSO. BACK TO THE BLOG DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME I PROMISED TO MAKE A COMIC BASED ON THE RESULTS OF THE 1000 FOLLOWERS POLL AND NEVER DID UNTIL NOW. I'm terribly sorry. I promise I will get into it I SWEAR procrastination is kicking my ass. I have to plan the dialogue and script and stuff AND DRAW BUT

BUT HERE’S THE FUNNY THING

THE BLOG REACHED 2000+ FOLLOWERS A FEW MONTHS AGO

NOW WHAT DO I DO TO CELEBRATE?

I don’t know honestly. I haven’t done the 1000+ followers celebratory comic, and NOW I HAVE 2000+ FOLLOWERS. THERES 2000+ OF YOU NOW!!!!! THAT’S CRAZY (IN A GOOD WAY)!!!! I thank you all for sticking with bruhstation through thick and thin for around 2 and a half years. I’m glad for all your support, fanarts, asks, and such truly. like wow. 2k. in such a short time too! thanks guys. admittedly, I feel kind of guilty to leave everyone hanging for months with nothing to give, especially with such a high follower number. and realistically? I don’t think I’ll be able to draw as much as I used to. like I’ve said earlier, I’ve been busy with my personal life and oc projects. it’s not like I’m abandoning this blog any time soon? I’m just speaking from a logical perspective, given my status as a student and (possibly, hopefully) future doctor too. I don't want to burn myself out posting like thrice a week, answering asks daily, I want to take things slow. at my own pace. maybe I'll focus on designing side characters as well and thinking about their roles in the story! but that's for another day. I’m just glad everyone’s still sticking around and enjoying my silly stuff

I do want to draw more for this blog! I want to put thomas and co. in more situations. make them dance for all our entertainments. but when you’re an adult, you realize that you have your own priorities. you can’t always do the things you wanna do. you can’t just drop something you don’t like out of the blue. sometimes you have to sigh, scratch the back of your neck, and brave it while saying “I sure am getting old”

oh and also I'm a butch lesbian now. still he/they (heavy preference on he/him), still preferring masculine terms like "mr", "sir", "guy", still as crazy as ever. still aroace too and not interested in dating, something that's been a constant in my identity ever since I'm in early high school. little have changed I can assure you this. I am still senja. senja heterocaine from the net.

and thus concludes senja’s life update post! what will the next post after this be about? something gordon-centric again? serious colored art? old men yaoi? silent hill UK localization? place your bets. everyone loves a good laugh

[ang3lwithapen]

annnnnd here is (part 2/2) where i talk about my MC's name. much love, best wishes!!

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i saw your name-meaning post for the Blackwood siblings, and im so impressed with how you found names that not only look similar but have similar meanings/impressions!! as a fellow name-nerd, i thought id return the favor and explain my MC's name since you were so kindly thoughtful about your characters' names!

she is named Hestia Neven

1️⃣: "Hestia" is after the Ancient Greek goddess who personifys the hearth and home (her Roman equivalent is Vesta). well, technically, of "oikos", which is this kind of hearth, home, domestic life, family, society, household, kind of umbrella-term for "family and family's house" both on an individual and governal level

anyway, i liked the idea of her name kind of suggesting a "fated to be a housekeeper" vibe, but i also wanted something that paralleled her warmth and caring nature. and i think the image of my MC tending to the fires in the manor to keep the home warm for the Blackwoods in the winter does exactly that, while also feeling a bit like a "my light" term of endearment, where there is an implication that the manor would literally be colder/emptier without her. plus, my MC sacrifices her own comfort for "peace" in the house (mainly in regards to H, as discussed in part 1) (i use quotations because i really like how one of my friends said there is two kinds of peace, based on this book she read i forgot the name of: peace that isnt really peace, which is the absence of tension (it can lead to a lot of "shut up, thats just the way things are" mentalities). and true peace, which is the presence of justice. my MC is doing the former, for better or worse. ....mostly, worse lol), and Hestia's probably most famous story is how she gave up her seat as an Olympian god to Dionysus so no one else would have to, framed as heroic of her, as she insisted on sitting by Olympus' hearth instead

as for the etymology of the name itself, it means, rather predictably, "fireplace, hearth, alter". this is formed from the name basically meaning "burn" + "to dwell, to stay, to last through the night". which i also like for the Blackwood siblings, as my-MC-Hestia is someone who will be choosing to stay with them despite everything, who will sit through "the darkest night, to the dawn of new hope" or however the cliché goes, with "hope burns eternal"

but like. also? burning a witch at the stake imagry, angry mob with torches, Castlevania-Dracula's human-wife burning inside their home, or even accidental burns (Aang accidentally burning Katara's hands in "Avatar: The Last Airbender" comes to mind) of the Blackwoods either having someone who will be targetted by association or who they may hurt accidentally/intentionally

however, it should be noted that Hestia's hearth of folklore was predominantly fed with the fat of the animal-sacrifices humanity made to the gods, so, uhhhhhh, imsorryifBerthaandothersqualifyassuch, who said that

(there is also the irony of Hestia being one of the many goddesses of virginity, along with Athena and Artemis and so on, who never wedded and whatnot. its ironic because this game has a lot of romance of which i plan to wholly and happily engage in; yet Aphrodite and Cupid hold no power over Hestia-the-goddess, meanwhile Aphrodite and Cupid so-to-say have a lot of influence over my-MC-Hestia-Neven lmao rip)

2️⃣: then "Neven" has two possible name-meanings

k the first is South Serbian, and it means "marigold" which, in South Slavic, the said flower's name means "never fading" as a kind of pun based on marigolds for them being a symbol of hope, so it has a "may hope never fade" impression. It's usually a forename (Neven being masculine, Nevena being feminine, but also gender is a societal construct so anyone can be named either), but it has been a surname

the other meaning is related to some mix of Irish-Scottish as Neven (a masculine name, idk if it has a feminine form) is then considered an anglicized form of the name Naoimhín, which means "little saint" or "holy". though, under that same Irish-Scottish umbrella, may also be related to the surname Mac Cnáimhín, which means "little bone" or "little saint". the idea of "little bone/saint" is important because churches would collect relics of saints as a form of perserving/sharing said saint's holiness and veneration. this could be anything from clothes to, more likely, body parts. often bone. and, also, churches sometimes lied or were lied to, and have relics CLAIMING to belong to saints but actually are just regular people (This is not to say all relics are fake, some do actually belong to the saints they are supposed to be from), which reminds me of the Blackwood siblings a little. (though my MC is also an athiest, so it is a bit funny to be compared to those of sainthood then)

also! marigolds are often used in Mexico's Dia De Los Muertos (Day of the Dead), as an affectionate way of celebrating/missing those who have passed on. so. ontop of "maybe the one good, innocent person in this manor?"-energy (that may or may not be true, or may or may not conrinue to be true, either or), there is also a lot of "this bitch is in dANGER" energy mixed with "If the Blackwoods ever lose her, they'll miss her" vibes in surname alone lmao

3️⃣: in terms of meta, i like to think this means either her parents/dad or paternal grandparents or paternal great-grandparents were Slavic or Irish immigrants (maybe she's mixed, idk) (as i assume this game takes place in England?); and that she was named by a farming family, yes, but by someone in the family who was either very studious for the brief period they went to classes, is a bookworm, or was always fascinated by local scholars' stories. so there is a kind of inherent "climbing above one's station" in order for her to be named something so, at the time, academic since she herself isn't Greek. but it also implies she was very well-loved by that person, who saw her as such a warm person even as an infant, to have named her Hestia

but yeah!! id love to hear more people's MCs' names and why they picked them. here's mine in the meantime lol

and here is part 2 :D truly love how thoughtful this was. I've always loved the power and meaning that names can have, this was a joy to read. I did chuckle a bit at poor Bertha catching strays.

I would also love to see more MC names, so if anyone else wants to talk about them, feel free :)

[redlenai]

agreeing with that past anon. i have been really big fan of yours for a while since you’ve carried us buddy daddies fans years ago and i’ve been saving up to commission you. i was disappointed to see you openly shipping your character with a rapist. sure exploring him as a character is one thing because he’s interesting but making a fresh character to pursue a romance with him, considering his actions, sits really badly in my stomach. i’m sorry but i can no longer support you or your artwork. please do better.

Hi there Anon, I apologize first for not attaching a drawing like I would have likely done with other replies.

I'm glad you have enjoyed the artwork of Buddy Daddies. A series about two hitmen, kidnapping a child, killing her human-trafficker father and causing the indirect death of her mother. I hope you enjoyed the cute, horny and funny drawings of the man raised as a weapon and the other man, a womanizer that even hit on a minor in one of the CD dramas. Oh, and I hope you enjoyed too the small AUs I've made as well, besides all the yapping in case you've seen me in the Kazurei discord server (Which I apologize for leaving without notice, I tend to leave communities abruptly)

I believe not commissioning me was a wise decision, I'm the type that works without questioning much the content of the job. I guess that's easily noticed once you check my Cafecito, the place where I save all the NSFW I've done (Or that I was allowed to post). Tho I would mention there were several times one could get free drawings from me, be it the art-raffles I've done on my social media or when I accept art requests via asks.

Regarding Jimmy and Derek... I'll focus first in clarifying something wrong you've said. I did not create Derek for Mouthwashing. Derek has been my oc since 2012, he has gone through many changes and has different versions depending the setting I want to use him, because I like his design and I play with him the same way I used to play with my Barbies and MaxSteel dolls. He has been my most beloved child and personal punching bag.

He has been an evil, immortal warlock Prince in a fantasy-zombie-apocalypse world

He has been an exiled morally gray klepto-Prince, now witch with celestial powers in a RolePlaying community (ViceVerseRPG)

I've turned him into an angel. A damsel in distress.

I've also turned him into a tv angel-brainrot nerd, terrified of love as he fears he'll die the same way as those characters.

I've put him first in the Supernatural fandom, as an angel from a different universe trying to get God!Jack to give him a happy ending, a fullfilling love story, a damn win where he gets the hero treatment instead of being someone else's character development.

Then in Mouthwashing, he is his worst self, that delusional prick who idolizes the idea of a man that no longer exists, yet stalks and mentally tortures said man in 2 different timelines.

I won't type much than what I've already written down. My biggest hater spent almost 27 years assuming things about me, trying to degrade me, guilt trip me and so many things while also demanding me to be up to their standard. I do not believe you're attempting on doing those things tho.

And... doing better? This isn't my worst moment. Far from it. It's probably the best I've been in a long time

Feel free to move on and enjoy other artists and creators, just... remember, just because an artist draws something you agree with or like, doesn't mean they can't draw things that you disagree with or don't like... and even worse when they can detach their own values, morals and politics from said drawings and still explore things, because damn right its better to do that than to pursue those things in real life.

[wizardships]

POST ABOUT MY OC SELFSHIPS

All of my OC selfships are with my partner @ask-the-vargonians' OCs! Vargon is a planet they made, inhabited by vampiric aliens called vargonians. To read more on Vargon, check this link for its history and this one for species info, or just ask me! I'll tell you what I know gladly. This post will go over a few of my OC selfships and they're mainly with vargonians, which is why I link that (also just because I think it's fun).

Several characters on this list are related to each other. Please assume that for any related characters, I ship with them separately. In particular, several are part of the ruling family of Vargon - The Voodry'ant/Woods family. Also the F/Os are all organized alphabetically because I don't want to rank them by favorites it makes me sad

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THE INSERT: FIONN, a changeling from another planet. They get to Vargon by different means depending on the AU. I'll make another post about them in more detail.

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ADRIK WOODS: The main character of his story, literally. He's his father's chosen successor, he's a pawn of the gods that he will one day join, he's trying to heal from insane trauma, he's a linguistics nerd, he's an addict, he's beautiful, he's silly, he's just a little kitty. Well, not really that last one, but he's about as close as you get without actually being it. Adrik doesn't know this, but he was created by the gods to eventually replace them when they die. His life until now has been trial after trial after trial, in order to prepare his soul for that transition. Technically he has a twin sibling, but they were separated when they were young and are now estranged. As you can imagine, Adrik is a huge celebrity on Vargon, not only because of his political power but also because of his incredible skill at appealing to the public. He's a social chameleon and he's suffering. One of Vargon's biggest "It" Girls <3 He is soulmates with and eventually married to my OC Delilah, but they're polyam so it's cool. In fact, most Vargonians are polyamorous. SHIP TAG: .bite marks

FITZ MY'TYALA: Ex military pilot forced to retire due to an incredibly tragic accident that left him physically disabled and severely traumatized. He became friends with Adrik and was eventually hired as an employee of the brothel Adrik owns called The Velvet Fang. (Sex is viewed very differently on Vargon, and brothels are common. The VF in particular welcomes a lot of non-vargonian tourists that may not be able to handle the harshness of the rest of the planet. The brothel is ethically run, and everyone working there are incredibly close knit as a "pack," essentially a vargonian chosen family.) Fitz is snarky and laid back, but also incredibly polite and modest by vargonian standards. To a human, though, that still comes off as pretty raunchy. Compared to some other members of the VF, he may seem very normal, but don't let that fool you; he has chosen them to hang out with, after all. SHIP TAG: .mousetrap

JOY WOODS: One of the eldest Woods siblings. Princess of the planet, political powerhouse, faithless head of church secretly leading a revolution against the Shadow Council that has tortured her family and people since she was young. She's a severe workaholic and alcoholic, who dreams of someday living a domestic life with loving partners and many children of her own. In the meantime, though, she's emotionally distant and represses everything. You can't blame her, though - She's raised most of her seventy-something siblings and watched far too many of them meet gruesome ends anyway. Secretly a huge party girl raver, but she never gets the time these days. Lily Woods' twin sister. The two had a bad falling out years ago and have a strained but unbreakable relationship which is mostly antagonistic on the surface, but they couldn't survive without each other. SHIP TAG: .business casual

LILY WOODS: Another of the eldest Woods siblings. While she also handles a lot of political and familial labor, most people know her as a pro skateboarder. She's like if Tony Hawk was an eight-foot-tall, blood-drinking, ripped, stoner bisexual. Lily may present herself as "the irresponsible twin," but she's actually the more emotionally mature one. That doesn't mean she isn't hiding her own traumas behind a mask of humor, of course - Just that she's the one more likely to eventually have a serious conversation about it. She comes off as cool and confident, but actually has terrible self esteem due to always comparing herself to Joy. On Vargon, twins are actually the same soul split in half and put in two bodies by the gods, and Lily feels as though she's the worse half. Obviously, I disagree. SHIP TAG: .the bit

[elfiaa]

Omg!! I haven’t posted in a while huh?? Anyways, this post will be an art dump (filler) while I recover from a writers block 🫶

A bunch of art will be W.I.P’s, art I’ve made for friends, doodles, etc

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Completed:

A character sheet of my I sort for Our Life: Always and Forever by GB Patch Games (MY REAL ONES SINCE DAY ONE ILY 😫🫶🫶)

Their visual novels are so well written, and you can definitely tell how well their games are made, so definitely check the, out!! In this drawing, my insert is a child, as there is only a demo of their new game released.

Cutieliscous yummy nerd boy blushing his brains out 😍‼️‼️ (Idia Shroud)

A drawing of Jack howl that I started months earlier that I’ve just recently finished(goals 🔥🔥)

WIP’S:

She’s a Genshin insert i made, I’m not sure what to do with her now that I don’t play the game much🙁 I named her Mari (ik, so original...!) and I designed her character to be about light and life. Her character corresponds with the next character, who im going to Name Ezra for the sake of not confusing anyone.

She’s a hydro polearm user, and is usually found in Sumeru and Liyue. She frequents any gardens or botanical areas found by Ezra, and is usually baking or doing other domestic things for her friends. Def the type to make her fighting really graceful tbh..She’s the more friendly one of the two, and is seen more frequently in public compared to the other.

Another genshin oc (😭😭). I made it that he was a sort of god or spirit of death. As l said before, his name is Ezra. I wanted him and Mari to appear as polar opposites, but actually be really close. Almost sort of a yin yang type of thing. He's more of a shut in, and can be found looking after the plants & wildlife for Mari while she is gone.

I Imagined he would be an electro swords user, but I never actually got into his character as much as I'd like to. As said before, Mari likes to bake) & is found baking for her friend frequently. His favorite dish of hers is the flan, and in return for making him food, he looks out for the animals & special plants she is especially fond of. He's never seen by the public, as some have said that seeing his true appearance drive even the purest souls mad (so edgy!!! & emo 😍!!)

He’s also naked in like all of the drawings I have of him since I never came up with a costume design for him or anything

My twisted prefect and Ruggie bc I’m in love with that furry and that furry only!!! (Tbh during this time was when my art was at its peak, but this one just wasn’t it..😣)

Doodles:

Mari + Lisa because she’s always been my favorite librarian lady 😘😘

I was being artsy don’t hold this against me

SOMEDAY,THIS COULD B THIS COULD B ORDINARYY😫😫!!

They’re real idc what you have to say…

This one’s for sure crappy so, I’m sorry for that :((

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Anyways if you sat through and read silly comment after comment of this post then I’m glad, I’m happy when people enjoy my content, so likes comments and reposts are appreciated ^^❤️

With that, I hope you’ve had a good day today, and I hope you have one tomorrow, and the days following that!! Look out for a new post coming soon 👀👀

-Mari

[amanita-the-spore-druid]

Computer is broken so moving one of my fics to tumblr

Deare Diary

A 2010s AU Post Mortum Fanfic from soda's perspective

Agust 15:

Deare Diary, a cuple weeks ago Darry talked with Pony's school and got us set up with a shrink and she got us to start jornal's after todays visit. Nothing much today, but Pony's been asking about going to the libary recently.

Agust 17:

After Darry left for work me and Pony walked to the libary. I wound up spending 30 minuts arguing with the guy (oh wait pony's not gonna read this). I spent about 30 minuts arguning with the fucker at the desk while trying to set up a card for pony. He mostly just checked out books on computures, which i guess makes sense because im pretty sure he spent all of yesterday just messing with the computure. But weirdly enough, he also got like two books about brains i think? i think one of them was like 'something something nurology'.

Agust 20:

Pony's spent the past few days just reading in his room, i went to check up on him and it looks like he has tons of notebooks full of stuff written down, but he fell asleep at his desk so i just put a blanket over him and left him alone. I invited a couple freind's over for a bit, and it turns Johnny's parents didn't pay for cremation or a coffen, and some of them said hes still at the mortuarry morticen murt the place with the corner man where they preserve the bodies. After they left it was getting close to the end of darry's shift so i made him and pony some sandwhichs. Of course pony refused to eat the bolone, he just fucking took it out. No clue why he's been so Weird about it since he got Back.

Agust 21

Today pony showd me what's he's been working on for the past week. its this weird program that converts code into like words, but does it without needing to like tell it how to say things, it just creates this weird voice. he showed it off by making it sing this old song, aparently some other computure nerds made soemthing lik it and made that same song. think it was called daisy bell. pony's also been asking to start going to church on sunday's again but darry got this new weekend security gaurd job, i hate to break it to the kid.

Agust 22

Darry and Pony got into a fight today. pony had skipped school today, And had apparently one of shepard's boys saw him and called darry immediately. Pony also had one of those notebooks on him, which darry Tried to look through. i told him to just drop it and they both stormed off to there rooms. pony refused to let me in to talk, poor kid. And then I walked in on darry smoking outside.

"You know ponyboy wouldnt like that." I told him,

"Yeah yeah, who gives a shit?" he said, before tossing his smoker on the concret patio and crushin' it.

"Hes been real fussy about smokes since he got ba-" "HE WAS GONE FOR A FUCKING WEEK, HE ACTS SCARED AND DIFFRENT!"

after shouting darry just crumbled against the door. "And he wont tell us what happened..."

Agust 23:

I got up extra early, really early, to be up in time to make him breakfast. he well, sounded confused when he saw me in the kitchen with a plate of pancakes, burnt eggs, and a black cofe coffee (thanks darry:).) He laughed a bit and offered to clean the mess befor he left but I told him id clean it after pony left for school. i decided to cheer the kid up with some french toast, so I walked to a convince store to pick up some cinoman like Mom used to make it.

Now, I have no fucking clue how they recognized me but some fucking soc fucks decided to open their fucking bitchass mouths when they realized I was pony's brother. "Hey Your the brother of that KILLER right?" some blonde said. "My brother's a fuckin' hero, prep school." the girl with him started laughing her pre- pretens- annoying rich girl ass off, "Atleast he stayed in school grease. And that Ponyboy's no he-" now, misses therapist lady, God, and officers if fate have it, I promise I am not a violent man. HOWEVER, she was going to insult my brother.

The cashear turned around the exact second I decked her. Now, he was greaser too, but he also had rent to pay. "Soda, what the hell are you doing?" he asked me, sounded like darry if 'm honest. Meanwhile blondie was yelling at me but got interrupted by the cashear, "Here's a ziplock bag, soda machine has ice, and Sodey-Pop here is going to pay for a bottle of Advil for the lovly lady." he said, "I am?" "You wanna shop here again?

So after that TOTALY FAIR accident, I walked home and made ponyboy some hero's french toast. ever wonder why its called french toast? i mean we put maple syrup on it I don't think the french got that, well maybe the Canadians are french. holy shit french toast is Canadian? anyways, I surprised the kid with french Canadian toast like mom used to make and told him to make sure he goes to school ill be walking with him.

turns out, that shit at the convince store wasn't the only place people were calling pony a killer. Now, Mrs Beth I new what I did was not aproprate but I have no regret. because when that silver spoon lickn daddy's boy called my brother a killed in my face, and spat on pony's, I had no regret or dobt pushing that little fuck against a locker, nd holding my switch to his neck.

agust 25

I know it was a bit, unkempt I think is the word? to scrible an enetery in your office but the cops held my jornal while I spent a day in the cooler. it was, decent I think. refused to take a shit though, that camera wouldve seen. darry didn't say a word while we drove here, so I know he's gonna be pissed. just, be easy on him. first pony gets detention for skippin' after a fight, and now this.

update;

darry didn't say anything to me, just gave me the keys and told me to drive pony home and pick up dinner. Ponyboy went to the bathroom and I over heard you two, sorry.

"Darrel I know your frustrated but theres very little I can do."

"Im not just frustrated! Im pissed off! i want Ponyboy to be able to head to college, and I want to atleast make sure sodapop is comfterbal. I'm asking, is there any of that welfair shit I can apply for? i don't think I can manage two jobs, and afford everything."

"Of course Mr. Curtis, do you want the papers imedatly or should I find a good few for you?"

"Mr Curtis..."

"My mist-"

"No, its fine. just look for a few you think we can apply for. and please, do something about these socs."

That was all I heard before pony was outta the bathroom and we left. we picked up mcdonalds, and I bought a six pack for darry. lite, I didn't want him getting pickled.

agust 26:

after school, darry offered to watch over pony while I 'saw a frend'. I think they were watching ben 10 while darry looked through the papers since he picked pony up. little did they know, I was going back to the school. i asked about job openings and it turns out theres a security gaurd gig with basicly no requirements. i signed up, and asked for a few extra days this weekend so darry didn't worry.

he was excited to say the least, and pony was shocked I wasn't thrown out when I went to apply. Darry quite his weekend job, and we made plans to go to church since I worked a night shift. after that we just had dinner and all went to bed.

agust 27:

darry was excited just to have time alone with pony, and took him to the library to return his books and get some new ones. i even checked out a cookbook so I could make something for the two before I left for work.

...mom and dad would be proud...

after that we just walked around town for a while, and finally went home for dinner. i tried to make fancy pork chops with the frozen ones we had in the back of the freezer. they came out, well it was a month old so no clue what we expected. darry and pony went to bed, I put on my uniform and headed to work. it was weird, seein the high school after dark like that.

it was mostly boring, until I heard something. a loud crash in the new computure lab. i ran over and I think something was stolen, no clue the whole thing was a mess. i signaled the cops and ran after the prick I saw running out of the lab. I didn't catch the fucker, checked the paper and you'd've known that. i was expecting to get yelled at, but turns out I was supposed to call the cops. lucky me.

agust 27:

darry turned on the news while I made everyone breakfast, turns out the mortuary (thanks pony) got broken into as well. and you know what? I'm telling you Beth, it was them fucking socs. Because Dally and Johnny got their FUCKING BODIES CUT UP. its a goddamn disgrace. when we went to church, the preiest was shocked to see us to say the least. pony promised i'd behave and darry asked if he could make a special prayer for dally and johnny, 'course his holyness did like a true gent.

after church we met with two-bit, steve, and their girlfriends at a greaser bar for dinner. we had a moment of silence for dally and johnny, god bless. when we went home darry took a seat on the couch and said he was going to watch a few movies on the black n' white chanel before he goes to sleep. I decided to check on pony and say goodnight, turns out he was taking a shower before bed (fair enough, the joint reeked like a barbeque pit if you know what I mean)

I noticed that the computer, which darry let him move to his bedroom, had one of the box doo-hickies opened up. i walked over to close it, and saw ...

look, don't call me loony? alright? I'm not, fuck I don't even belive me and I don't needa be sent off to booby-land but I swear to God I saw blood and some pink meaty thing twitching in the box. i closed it. and i swear the computre didn't get turned on, but i heard that bing and heard a voice. Johnny's voice. But it had like the weird robot accent like that daisy bell song robot. i left the room, and just went to work.

it wasn't pony. it wasn't pony last night. Pony would never do that to our fellow greasers.

Maybe i am crazy, if it makes you ask ponyboy less questions.

[howling-medic]

I read this yesterday (2 days ago? Time is confusing and a construct), and I had to step away and pick my jaw up off the floor. I queued the post and intended to return before it actually posted and add commentary. I have lost my original queued post that has long since been posted now, so I'm starting over with a fresh post. I would apologize for the essay length commentary and general praise I'm about to write... but I do not beg your forgiveness. It's not often that I read something that impacts me this much, so I will simply do this and continue on my merry way:

I have now had sufficient time to process and go back and reread this masterpiece. Zara, my friend, you have reduced me to tears twice with this piece, and I now have a very concerned 70 pound dog curled on my lap who refuses to accept that I'm okay.

My gods, woman. This is impeccable. It was soul crushing and healing all in one. The imagery and connections drawn across multiple mediums and genres? Brilliant.

I know you were worried about using too much jargon or leaning too far towards essay style writing vs scholarly writing, and I think you found the middle ground perfectly. Of note: I'm also a nerd who reads journal articles for fun, so I would happily read either end of that spectrum; however, this balance suits your message and the interplay of prose and analysis incredibly well.

You wove in your own narrative thread to the analysis brilliantly. Each section exponentiated the impact of the others, and it flowed perfectly.

I have to take a second, and probably multiple hundred words, to pull some quotes and try to dissect this piece of perfection, or at least highlight some of its most impactful ones. Maybe draw on some personal reasons they stuck out. Who knows. It's 0451 at the time I am writing this, and I'm uncaffeinated. We're operating on vibes alone.

I am not only Elrond's wife, I tell her. And I am not only the taking.

This was the first place I cried. There are a lot of reasons I had to stop and walk away from my computer when I read this line. "I am not only Elrond's wife," hits home in a way that I will talk about more in a piece I'm writing, but I have lived perpetually as Medic, daughter of [redacted] and Medic, sister of [redacted] (daughter and sister being their own issues to comment on another day). Oh so rarely am I my own person. To see that refutation set down in black and white so simply, to see someone say it so definitively, brought me to a screeching halt. Suddenly, I was Celebrían while also being back in that motel room where I first found her footnote - running for my life.

"And I am not only the taking." I knew what I might remember when I read this series. I knew what I would likely feel. The soul crushing feeling of helplessness this dragged up in me made me nauseous. The rawness of that line evokes is incomparable. The sheer defiance in it. The refusal to be reduced down to one moment. It set up everything to come perfectly. At the time I didn't necessarily know that was where we were headed because your narrative wandered and allowed a gradual build, but once the destination became clear, I had to return to that line as a whole and read it several times over.

In these timeless interruptions, despair is not dark and silent but “dazzling green”, dancing across the screen.

[In a time and place where I wonder when it will be illegal to be myself, I will strive to remember to keep despair "dazzling green" and keep "dancing across the screen.] However, outside the personal, and in the context of the essay, the tie back to the Elessar and the way this sentence began to pull everything into focus for me. The parallels between Celebrían and queerness was unexpected and worked seamlessly. I still don't have adequate words to describe the moment I first read that paragraph as a whole, actually.

[I could probably pull out something from every paragraph because this entire piece was a hyper-concentrated emotional and intellectual gut punch of the best kind, so I'm going to force myself to choose like one or two more lines I want to talk about for the sake of brevity. lol. Ain't that cute of me to say now? Brevity came and went a few hundred words ago.]

Put simply, the cinematic courtesan frames death, failure and grief as an aesthetic performance, one full of joy and decadence. Her dances and laments, aesthetically pleasing events within a self-professed arena of death, performed by dying women, are a re-capacitation of destroyed bodies: sexually and societally persecuted, yet capable of creating beauty.  A society that allows a group of people to live in a state of perpetual dying is a failed society; hence the courtesan’s embrace of death and embodying of corpses evidences the difficulty of queer survival in a heteronormative world. In this domain, immortality is nothing but a death scene drawn out for eternity.

I - ma'am - I couldn't even choose one part of this to pull out. I tried, and I couldn't. Remember when I said this was deeply healing? This. This. This was the first time I felt a piece of myself put back in place. I could analyze this, sure. I could, but I don't feel like it needs anything else said.

The texture of it is familiar, yes, but the shape remains strange. The bees have formed their comb around an irregular thing, one which turns the whole hive into a glowing, radiant, discoloured thing. The octagons of the comb wrap around over and over the object, another second skin I am meant to peel off, and it is harder than I thought it might be, as if the strange object belonged in the comb.

The perfect echo back to the chrysalis, the perfect echo back to the first mention of the beehive while sitting with Elrond, which seemed like such an odd and lovely little note at the time. I am in awe. The comb being harder to pull off than she expects? How indescribably perfect, and so true. So incredibly true. It was the perfect payoff from small moments scattered throughout. That moment of realization for Cel, for the reader....for one's soul.

Gods, I've waxed poetic for long enough. I can't thin it out, though, and I could write something about nearly every line.

TLDR: This was a triumph, and I am bookmarking it to turn back to on dark days.

Fun stuff from Dr. Balls — an essay collection published on the Silmarillion Writers Guild across the upcoming year that intertwines fanfiction and nonfiction in the pursuit of Celebrían + most women in the legendarium turn up at some point ✨

Head over here or click ‘Read More’ below for a brief introduction to and overview of the essays in the collection, which can all be read independently. Fans of Crablor and Mr. Balls, you will enjoy Chapter 5 & 6, which should be out in the summer.

—————

“But there is also something deeply strategic in the act of spectacle. To make a ‘lost woman’ like Celebrían into a vast, operatic, hyper-visible character is to place her where she cannot be ignored… no longer dependent on the fragile benevolence of the archive. She becomes impossible to overlook. Across this collection, Celebrían will be written, rewritten, and repeated, until her absence is not only rectified but reversed — until she looms larger than the moment of violence that defines her. To put it bluntly, she takes her story back, and does whatever the hell she wants with it.”

The introductory essay, ‘Dazzling Despair: Life, Death and a Spectacularly Lost Woman’ considers the radical potential of performing one’s own ‘death’. On the fictional front: Celebrían’s search for the Elessar transforms loss into an act of deliberately poetic spectacle.

Read ‘Dazzling Despair’ here.

Would honestly love to hear what you think of this so far — feel free to comment here or DM me as well. I really want to make sure my tone isn’t too jargon-y and that it flows well: combining fanfiction and nonfiction is something I haven’t done before.

Introduction and Overview

An Elopement with Life is a 9-part essay collection that intertwines literary fanfiction with the nonfiction essay form, exploring the idea of a Celebrían who stays in Middle Earth.

The fictional narrative follows a year in the life of Celebrían who, across conversations with various 'lost women' of the legendarium, makes the deliberate choice to not-sail to Valinor. The essays use Celebrían and “courtesan laments” as a general framework but traverse a wider thematic landscape, engaging with historiography, investigative environmental journalism, and critical queer/disability theory to unpack how mythic and literary narratives shape our understanding of loss, resilience, and reclamation.

The introductory essay Dazzling Despair considers the radical potential of performing one’s own ‘death’, as Celebrían’s search for the Elessar transforms loss into an act of deliberately poetic spectacle. The Art of Dying Twice deconstructs Lúthien’s legendary defiance, revealing how even the most celebrated figures of resistance may be vexing in their contradictions. Sea-cure is an intertextual meditation on the sea’s ambivalence—both vessel of liberation and instrument of dispossession—as Elrond attempts to communicate with the Valar across an unfathomable divide. The Poster Child examines the distortions of historical memory, positioning Celebrían as an uneasy object of mythmaking who must navigate her own commodification into a cautionary tale, paralleling a “poster child” in narratives of disability.

The collection then shifts toward a mode of speculative investigative journalism with The Crab-Eaters and The Crab-Saviours, in which Celebrían, Arwen, and the elusive Fëanorian wives cross paths with an eccentric cryptid who runs a farm of extinct-yet-not-extinct shellfish, mirroring the author and their partner’s real-world pursuit of brutalised waterfowl in the United Kingdom. Does Your Mother Know? takes on the ethics of retribution, as Celebrían and Elrond are at odds after she demands to see her sons' orc hunt, raising fraught questions about complicity, cycles of violence, and the power of bearing witness.

The collection concludes with the two-part essay The Bravest Girl in Arda, where Celebrían, alongside her father Celeborn, constructs a living reconstruction of Taur-im-Duinath, a sunken forest in Beleriand. This final couplet articulates restoration as a quiet, persistent act: the renewal of the self through reconnection with the nonhuman world, the submerged histories that whisper beneath dominant narratives, and the “little revolutions” that exist under the weight of the great ones — resonating with Tolkien’s own attentiveness to the dignity of small acts and overlooked labours. Across the collection, An Elopement with Life engages with resilience as both concept and praxis, unfolding through a dialectic of rupture and repair, disappearance and re-emergence, myth and materiality, and the histories we choose—or refuse—to inherit.

Zara is an essayist and novelist who works broadly across queer world literatures and ecocriticism. She holds degrees from SOAS, St. Andrews and Oxford.

The work will update every 6-8 weeks, hosted exclusively on the SWG, and each essay in the collection can be read standalone.

Go to Collection.

[bluemandycat]

Ruby: Jackson, don’t you ever want to talk about your sexuality?

Jackson: No.

Matilda: I do!

Ruby: I know, Matilda.

Matilda: I’m bi!

Ruby: I know, Matilda.

[gustingirl]

not rlly absurd but here we go

no matter what, wilson is a better cook and baker. the days they dont do takeout are the days wilson whips up a fantastic meal. house is endlessly and vocally jealous

wilson and cuddy (and sometimes ducklings, depends on seniority) have regular talk-shit tea parties. house is not invited but he knows about them and tried to spy once. they ended up sacking him with the bill and everything he heard was decoy conversation (did you know that the barnacle relative to its size-)

house helps wilson learn spanish by refusing to speak to him in english for days on end (and will torment the ducklings just for fun the same way) and takes full advantage of wilson's limited vocab to pepper him with affection. this backfires very quickly as wilson learns

while wilson encourages but doesnt participate, house is a closet musical theater nerd. pretty cool when his mayfield roomie alvie wrote that blockbuster broadway show about a founding father

wilson has stuffed animals and hes almost one hundred percent convinced house does too but to this day the evidence is circumstantial at best

they have both literally slept together on wilson's office couch during all nighter hospital stays and sometimes find excuses to do so before and during their relationship

the stint with the 82yo woman with syph (s1e8) lets say,, inspired house to write poetry. rlly intentionally bad poetry. he leaves sticky notes of terrible lines all over wilson's side of the bathroom. to this day wilson has never told a soul and has kept all of them

oh my god you're a fantastic human being and i love you, let me go in parts

they definitely have like cooking competitions and house is way more petty so whenever wilson cooks something delicious he has to pretend he doesn't like it

SO TRUE, remember that episode where house thought wilson and cuddy had fucked and wilson kept on fooling house about it? same shit, house would go to wilson to "corroborate" tea he had heard and he would be fooled every single time

i would have paid for one episode where house does not speak a word in english just to mess with everybody. i love the idea of wilson and house being competitive

LMAO NOT HAMILTON OMG and considering hugh was the inspiration for "you'll be back", then house was alvie's inspiration. house is definitely a musical theatre junkie but won't admit it bc he knows wilson will mock him

house definitely has stuffed animals bc wilson keeps on gifting them little ones and he can't throw them away but he also can't show wilson he keeps them so he hides them somewhere. when wilson brought it up one dinner, house had to start changing the hiding spot because wilson is always close to find them

but what about when the ducklings catch them? they come up with the most absurd excuses, at least house does. wilson can’t figure anything out so when cameron asks him in private he just confesses

ok but wilson doesn't even tell house about them, until one fight where house says wilson never cared about their relationship, wilson shows him all the post its he has been saving since day one.

then they have sex.

please send me more, you just made my day

[monaisdark]

AHHHH! I loved your virgin shiggy post, I was wondering if you could make a part two with reader giving shigaraki a tit-fuck in an empty classroom, with degradation kink, and exhibition kink! I'm sorry if this too horny - Anon ♥♥

haha.. im back i guess. Its been a couple weeks but i have some time to start writing again :)) checking my inbox, i did NOT expect this many people wanting a pt2 to my virgin shiggy post. prolly my fault for holding it off for so long :/ so i made it longer than i planned but count this a thanks for 200+ followers!! <3 anyways i really need to catch up on my inbox but expect more from me !!

➨ paring — Virgin! (not anymore) Tomura Shigaraki x Fem! Bully! Reader

➨ warnings — Sub! Shigaraki, Dom! Reader, mommy kink, slight masturbation, humiliation, degradation, begging, exhibition, tit-fucking, hand-job, cum denial

PART 1

Shigaraki messed up. It’s been a week. A week since you cornered him in a room and took his virginity.

He still remembers what you told him when you left— “Take a shower tomorrow. Also wear a different top for god’s sake. If you do... I might let you touch me.” 

Shigaraki beat himself over for agreeing to it as soon as he got home. You were his bully. One of the people making his school experience even more unbearable than it already was.

Yet he completely was undone as soon as you placed your hands on him, and you knew it. He just didn’t know what you wanted.

Dick? No, you were pretty and popular— you could probably get some from more desirable guys. To bully him? Sure, you said mean things to him during the encounter but the bullying was always around your friends.

For a whole school week, he stayed home. Making up some bullshit to the school that he had the flu. Frankly, he was scared to go. How was he supposed to face you?

Did you tell anyone? Secretly record it? Was he currently the laughing stock of the entire school for begging to continue to fuck you?

But even away from school, you had an effect on him. He’s still a horny guy. Now, jerking off wasn’t the same anymore, not when he had some taste of pussy thanks to you.

Shigaraki would always end up thinking back to you, even with porn he couldn’t get you out of his head. His hands clamping around his cock weren’t the same as your pussy, same with the bodies of other women.

He found himself indulging into mommy kink porn, something he didn’t really get off from before you. Shigaraki pretend it was you talking to him, bouncing onto his lap and letting him touch you.

But after a bit— Shigaraki found it going no where, they weren’t you.

Cursing, he would always finish early. And not in a good way. In a way where he was left unsatisfied. Putting his painfully hard cock back into his sweats and trying to sleep his horny-ness away.

Shigaraki realized he needed you, you talking to him, you around his cock. Now, he regretted not sticking to his word. But he’ll make it up for you.

You were quite mad. Shigaraki hasn’t been to school since that day. How ungrateful, you literally let him put his dick in you and now he ghosts you in real life.

You fully expected him to be at school the next day with the way he begged you to stay, clean and ready for you. So imagine your annoyance in seeing him not show up for several days.

But today was different, the newly ex-virgin actually showed up. To your surprise, he still did more than you expected him to do despite being a week late.

Shigaraki had changed his hoodie to a whole new one, it looked recently bought. As well as his hair, looking more soft than greasy like it typically was. Though he didn’t style it, it still overhanging on his face.

Still, he definitely looked a lot better, not enough for others to notice but enough for you to smirk at your work.

Both of you didn’t interact with each other besides a few glances until lunch. You guys sat on completely different ends of the cafeteria, him sitting in a small corner table while you sat in a large one.

Shigaraki looked fidgety, meekly looking up every few minutes to watch you interact with your friends. He was waiting for school to end, planning to catch you at the same empty classroom you took his virginity in.

Though you had completely other plans.

“Hey, I’ll be right back.” You got up from your table, grabbing your bag from off the floor. “To?” One of your friends asked, not looking up from their phone.

“Some nerd, he’s gonna do my homework we got last period. Apparently, his parents found out he’s been doing our homework and now he's gotta do them during lunch. Gotta make sure they do it right.” You lied through your teeth, hoping they would just back off.

They didn’t look up, instead pulling their homework worksheet out of their binder with one hand, putting it in yours, “Get him to do mine.”

You rolled your eyes, grabbing the paper, “Yeah.” You walked away, crumbling the paper to throw it in the trash. You’ll just say you lost it. Not like they’ll do anything about it.

Narrowed eyes landed on Shigaraki, his eyes currently focused on his phone. You strudded your way to him, smirking to yourself.

Shigaraki almost jumped when he felt something brush against his leg. Looking up, he was met with you sitting down next to him.

“Hey.” You said, placing your bag on the table and putting your last period’s homework on the table.

“You’re good at chemistry, right?” You questioned, shifting through your bag for something to write with.

“...Well— I... um...—“ Shigaraki stuttered, unsure of what was currently going on.

“Great.” You pulled the phone out of his clammy hands, replacing it with a pencil. “...What?” He tilted his head, was this a joke? Did you completely forget about a week ago?

“Hm...? Well, get onto it.” You uttered him on, putting your chin in your hands, eyeing him. Reluctantly, he looked back to paper, beginning to work on it.

After around 5 minutes, you brushed against him even more, getting close to his side. “What does that say?” You pushed yourself further into his side, your chest touching his arms.

Shigaraki cursed himself for already becoming red, he pants tightening around his crotch as last week flashed into his head again.

“Um... m-mole is a unit of measur— Hmph!“ He held back a loud whine when your right hand traveled to his crotch.

“What— what are you doing?” He asked under his breath, holding back small whimpers as you palmed him, “Where have you been?” You questioned sternly, upset he kept you waiting.

“I’m sorry... I got sick.” He bluffed, it was too embarrassing to admit he was scared. With how he left you hanging, he expected people to be laughing at him the moment he stepped onto school grounds.

“Sick? A whole week?” You hummed, you could already tell he was lying. Still, you were proud that he even bothered to make it up to you by fixing himself up.

“With your diet of energy drinks and chips, I’m surprised you’re not dead.” You decided to let it go, he was just nervous to show up.

Yet you think he deserves a bit of punishment.

Shigaraki felt heavy as you teased the zipper of his jeans. He immediately tensed, “Wait— now..?” He saw you narrow your eyes, “Something wrong?”

“There’s people here!” He whispered yelled, flinching as he felt you unzip his jeans ever so slowly, trailing your finger along his exposed boxers.

“So? You’re just some loser in the corner, nobody will notice if you aren’t obvious.”

Shigaraki could already feel pre-cum form at his tip, staining his boxers a bit. You giggled a bit, feeling the dampness of his boxers. “Already?” Shigaraki shook his head, “I... I haven’t came since... that day.”

You laughed a bit louder than you expected to, good thing the cafeteria was already loud. “How sweet of you. Couldn’t get it on?”

Shigaraki focused his eyes on your paper, muffled moans caught at the back of his throat as you freed his cock from his boxers.

Now slowly pumping him, Shigaraki dropped the pen of the table. He wanted to do something with his hands, to touch you.

He moved his hand to your thigh, but of course, you didn’t allow him, “You’re too eager. Get back to work.” You ordered. Shigaraki was about to question you but you stopped him with stroking his cock faster.

Both of you continued this way for a bit, him answering questions with his shaky hands while you jerked him off.

Shigaraki could’ve sworn he felt eyes on him a couple of times, yet every time he looked up, nobody was even batting an eye in his direction.

He could feel his cock twitch at the excitement of being caught. How would they explain one of the most popular girls giving an outcast a hand-job under the table?

As he got to the last question— he was already drooling on the paper, mouth clenched shut to avoid moaning and panting to be let out.

You could tell he was about to cum, the writing on the paper progressively getting sloppier as time went on. “M-mommy...” Shigaraki whispered just enough for you to hear, “Hmm, you want to cum?”

He nodded furiously, he was extremely pent up and needed release. And just as he thought, you were the only one who can give it to him.

Shigaraki whimpered when you pulled away, looking up at the clock and collecting your stuff. “Then after school, room 204. Actually listen and show up when I tell you this time.”

You walked away just in time for the bell to go off, signifying that lunch was over. Leaving Shigaraki, once again, a mess.

Here he was again, feeling nostalgic as you walked into the empty classroom. Shigaraki easily grew again while anticipating this, the tent prominent in his jeans.

“Y’know, good job for showering and changing.” You gave him praise, Shigaraki turning red from your words. “This... this means I can touch you, right?”

You nodded, “Yeah. I actually keep promises.” He ignored the jab at him, it didn’t matter how mean you were— he was going to touch you finally.

Shigaraki awkwardly shuffled towards you, raising his hands up to look at you with wide eyes. He slowly paced a hand on your boobs, trying to see if this was just some test and you’ll get mad at him.

When he didn’t get anything back, he immediately started to dough on your clothed breast, cupping them. Then, he moved to unbutton your shirt, already seeing you thought ahead and took off your bra before coming here.

He fully took off your shirt, not wasting time on latching his mouth onto one of your nipples, both hands playing with your breasts. Shigaraki was basically humping your leg, sucking your nipples like a baby.

You giggled a bit, patting his head. He looked up at you with a clouded look, pure joy in his eyes as he finally got to touch you.

Looking back down at him, another idea popped up— you already took his virginity and gave him his first hand-job, whats another one of his firsts? “Shigaraki, do you want to feel really good?” He unlatched from your nipple, “I can be inside you?”

“No.” He frowned a bit, but perked up when you trailed your fingers on his boxers. “What if I put this,” You pointed at your boobs, “In between these?”

Shigaraki was already down, eagerly sitting on a desk while you got on your knees. He freed his cock, putting it in between your slick pushed together breasts, thanks to his sucking earlier.

You wasted no time on stroking it up and down with your breasts. He moaned feeling the softness of the valley between your chest, your breasts around his cock giving him warmth as you stimulated him.

Shigaraki was definitely feeling great, you even let him bend down and grab your breasts to control the speed of the tit-job.

Though, Shigaraki wanted more. You were giving him all these things, a hand-job, a tit-fuck. He’s been inside you once and he didn’t get to do what he wanted in the first place. To cum inside his mommy.

He feels a knot grow in his lower abdomen, but he doesn’t wanna cum yet. Instead, he pulled himself away from you, much to your confusion.

“What? You literally were about to cum and I was gonna let you!” You groaned, getting up as Shigaraki faced you.

“...Mommy, can I fuck you?”

“No, you didn’t come to school for a whole week. If you really wanted to you would have showed up.”

Shigaraki turned red, sputtering as he held onto your arm, “Please! I just want you cum inside you.” He whined, tears pricking at the chance of not getting to have sex with you after all this time.

You looked at him stoned faced as he begged, even falling to his knees dramatically to add to his desperation. “Fucking virgins, man.”

Shigaraki felt himself be pushed down, your skirt and panties on the floor. You straddled onto his length, moans filling the room quickly.

“Yes! Thank you, thank you, mommy!” Shigaraki thrusted his hips into yours, feeling even more over-joyed when he was allowed to touch your chest while you were on top of him this time.

Shigaraki desperately missed this, now he remembers why his hand didn’t compare to your tight pussy after trying to jerk off. He found his own rhythm quickly, muffled ‘mommy’s due to his mouth on your breasts.

“I’m doing this because you cleaned up, if you didn’t I would’ve left you to your own sad-ass devices already.” You lied, honestly, you hated the idea what he possibly was ignoring you by not showing up to school.

Even then, you’ve grown a bit found of him. His body, his expressions, his voice, everything really. It didn’t bother you as much when you saw his still messy hair, you were just glad to see him.

Though, you’d never admit it. Instead, it showed through the way you were tightening around his cock, panting as he moaned into and out your body. Shigaraki very quickly wrapped his arms around you, both of you on the edge.

“Fuck— Shigaraki. Cum, cum for mommy, okay?” You ordered, Shigaraki more than ready to fulfill it.

“Ah, thank you! Thank you, mommy! I’m gonna cum inside you!” Both of you rided out your highs, Shigaraki filling you so much it started to drip outside your full cunt.

He fell on top of you despite you initially being on top, you wanted to scold him but honestly couldn’t bring yourself to right now.

The room quieted down, the only words being exchanged were by Shigaraki softly muttering “Thank you, mommy.” into your neck

[ohklah0ma]

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR ASKING ABOUT MY OCS I AM SHAKING AND FROTHING AR THE MOUTH. GRIPS YOU GENTLY BY THE SHOULDERS

also im so sorry it took me a hot minute to get this reply 2 u im at work finishing this on my break rn HAHAHA

nat went thru The Horrors and once it was kinda “over” and they were on their own they were like ok. u know how i can deal with this. by literally becoming an entirely different person and pretending none of this ever happened to me!!!!!!!! i really need to write their toyhouse page because they have so much lore and i dont have it compiled anywhere LMAO nat is my oldest oc and theyre a terrible person (SLASH SILLY THEY ARE 13 YEARS OLD) i HATE them!!!!! because they lack their own identity their entire existence kind of revolves around their loved ones and since their loved ones are constantly in danger from various plot related threats (nat oberon and avery are all multiverse/“versetraveler” ocs so theyre involved with some friends ocs and theoretically various fictional characters because im a NERD) nat now has a horrible savior/hero complex. so they feel like even though their loved ones dont expect them to protect them theyre tired of putting in so much effort and energy into keeping people happy and safe and not receiving anything back (even though theyve given 0 indication tbat theyre struggling at any point because they refuse to tell anybody the truth about anything involving their own life) i have a whole more specific infodump i can send screenshots of later

HEHEHEEEE WE HAVE 3 PUBLIC VIDEOS SO FAR poet had his lore arc in june so we also have recordings of that and ive been working to get the video done asap but its gonna take a while because in total we have 6 hours of footage i have to edit down and animate HAHAHAHAHAA. but we have toothfae eva and eleazers arcs public! we also had an arc for another character named kam that was hosted after the actual minecraft server shut down but we dont have any recordings of that one 💔 the playlist is here if u want it (including various animations from smp members) and heres poet’s toyhouse profile but if you dont want any spoilers for his lore arc id recommend not looking at his post-arc tab or the gallery for his pre-arc tab!!!!!!!!! and if u (god save your soul) want the summary of part 1 and 4 hours of footage of me and my friends fucking around in a discord vc with the occasional Picture for part 2 (we dont have the recording for p1 anymore to save wyrd’s google storage CRIESS) let me know and ill send u the link

averys current story is part of a universe thats a still being written in collaboration with my sibling kay (@/theplxnetsystem but theyre not in front on weekends LOL) but their toyhouse is here and thats where u can find like their backstory and stuff. their general info needs to be written to be a little more coherent and red-flag-y but its still Correct. theyre one of my older ocs and i love them dearly and made them into a less than ideal person recently :3c

OBERON!!!!! oberon is one of my older ocs as well (most of my favs tend to be) and he was exiled from the realm of the gods after being convicted guilty of murdering his sister, leaving his brother and his other sister to take on both their own roles as well as the roles of the missing siblings!!!! oberon and his siblings (olivia, ophelia, and orsino) were gods relating to the seasons because the god of life has such a broad range of jobs he created lesser gods to handle things like animals and earthly change and such. oberon was the god of autumn but not anymore :’D now hes just some batshit old dude who walks around talking to feral animals and giggling with nobody. his toyhouse is here and has more fleshed out info :3 minus the backstory stuff sorry LOL im sure ill figure out how i wanna share that sometime but ill be happy to share in dms if u want later his story is actually in the same world/universe as nat!!!!! and their universe is connected to averys just bc both of them are versetravelers and so theres like this big multiverse thing going on so theyre technically connected?? but they dont interact much since theyre still different universes //shrug

last but not least my greasy boy axel. his friend got MAD and was hospitalized when he was like i wanna say 12-13ish?? and so his gradual decline began here. he started dedicating himself to finding all the information he possibly could on alternates and how people handled them and stuff hoping to gain some insight on how to save his friend (which eventually devolved into this but also needing to prove people wrong about him) he stopped going to school at some point and when he was probably around 14 (hes currently 15) he started suspecting his sister, melodie (13 y/o), was replaced by an alternate so then he stopped leaving his room and hes not doing so hot. someone take away this kids monster energy and make him shower he is FILTHY his parents want to help him but they have 0 clue what to do about this. so theyve been kinda indirectly enabling this behavior and theyre just trying to support him and his issues but someone needs to lock him outside to touch grass i swear

heres their playlists (out of the ones who have them anyway. some dont have toyhouses bc j havent done their profiles yet LOL) and pleaseeee if u have more questions ask im so so normal and im so excited that youre interested in my Weird Guys

nat’s playlist - poet’s playlist - avery’s playlist - oberon’s playlist that i definitely didnt forget exists - axel’s playlist

how much money do i have to bribe u with to hear abt your ocs. im willing to pay the fine please whatever it is

brother i will pay YOU to listen to me talk about my ocs. allow me to provide you with a sample of my wares aka some of my favorite children (opens one side of my jacket with several dolls strapped inside)

natalie macalistair - an angsty teenage ghost “””girl””” who is desperately running from their past and themself no matter the cost or who it hurts

aziel lockstone/“poet” - a traveling writer who settles down in the lepid grove on the coopSMP (collaborative story with friends we have videos and everything) after being chased out of town after town. eventually the horrors ensue as his family is torn apart. how far is he willing to go to find something (or someone) that will last?

avery laurier, the ace of hearts - an oc i stole my name from when i transitioned LAWL. the owner of serpent’s eye casino and the god of luck, who takes punishing the unfortunate malefactors who wander into their domain into their own hands when the other gods fail to do so.

oberon - a fallen god stripped of his power and his memory. he conceals his face from the world and himself with a bird mask and wanders through dimensions without a care in the world. at least, he doesn’t have any that he remembers long enough to worry about

axel finch - my mandela catalogue oc if you know what that is :-) axel is a shut-in who refuses to leave his room for weeks at a time because he’s convinced his sister was replaced by a demonic eldritch creature taking her appearance and identity in her absence. his parents don’t believe him and neither do his friends, but he doesn’t need anyone else to believe him when he’s sure he’ll eventually prove them all wrong with enough research and dedication

let me know if ur interested in any of these silly guys in particular i will explode about them in detail if u want

also thabj u for being interested even a little i might cry /gen

[v-hope]

New camera, 9:03PM — Tiger Flower

“Yah, don’t” Jeongguk whined as soon as he was done taking a particular picture and caught your phone’s camera pointing his way.

Giggling to yourself, you brought your phone closer to your face to inspect the picture you had just taken of him, deciding right then you were posting it and mindlessly crossing your legs as you made yourself more comfortable on your spot on the floor, where you had been lying down on for a while as you watched your boyfriend take picture after picture.

“You look so cute!” you fought him back with that simple compliment, enjoying the way he visibly grew shy in front of you. “Although I don’t get to see much of your face with that hat of yours”.

He smiled sweetly, admiring the cute pout that had just taken over your mouth. “Such a shame” his sarcastic tone earned a roll of eyes from you. “There’s a reason I’m always behind the camera, petal”.

“Maybe in your camera, but in mine you’re the star”.

You couldn’t help but tilt your head back and let out a loud laugh at the way he had just snorted at your cheesy words. Although he would always get shy as hell and call you out because of it whenever you ever so bluntly complimented him, you knew he loved it — the huge smile that would part his lips every single time, was all the confirmation you needed.

You were not lying though, as you both knew well enough your camera roll was now taken up mostly by pictures of him. And spontaneous ones at that, for those were your favourite kind when it came to him. Not like his camera roll was any different when it came to you, though.

Going back to your phone, you finished posting his picture on Instagram while you let him do his thing, missing the way his eyes softened at the sight of you after he was done examining the last picture he had taken. And then also missing the light “click” that had came out of his camera as he took a picture of you.

He just couldn’t help himself, and he most definitely could not help but stare right after, smiling at the way you pulled your dress lower down your legs as you tried to cover them after a particular night breeze had reached them, and then chuckling at how you unconsciously hugged the cozy black jacket closer to your body — the one of his he had forced you to take with you earlier that day when you had dropped by to his place before heading out to buy the camera, knowing well enough —although you kept denying it— that the dress you had decided to wear would do little to nothing for you when the night and its low temperature came.

“What’s so funny?” you wondered when the sound of his laugh had reached your ears, head snapping up to fix your eyes on his smiling mouth.

Jeongguk shook his head, walking over to you and offering his hand for you to grab. “Let’s go home?”

“You’re done?” you wondered with pouty lips, nevertheless, holding onto his hand to let him help you up to your feet.

“Mhm…” he nodded, taking the backpack you had been watching for him and carefully placing the camera inside. “It’s late and I can’t have my stubborn baby freeze to death, so…”

“Yah!” you playfully slapped his arm, earning another laugh from him as he threw his backpack over his shoulder and held your hand in his once more. “I’m not freezing to death. It’s just a little cold”.

“So you admit you’re stubborn” he taunted you with a smile.

This time, you lightly shoved him with your shoulder, having him tighten his hold on your hand for a second before he let go of it, instead throwing his arm over your shoulder as the two of you started walking.

“You were literally telling me to bring a jacket whilst changing into a lighter t-shirt, you hypocrite”.

He shook his head in amusement. “Yes, but you always get cold. I don’t”.

You chuckled, wrapping your arm tighter around his waist and letting a cheeky smile curve up your mouth. “We’ve been knew you’re hot as hell”.

“Oh my God, you are insufferable”.

Letting out another laugh, you stared up to him, not having to think twice before planting a kiss to his jaw. “It was worth the wait then?”

“Huh?”

“Your camera” you clarified, chuckling at how lost he had looked for a second. “Is it as great as you expected?”

He smiled, nodding his head in a heartbeat. “I think you’ve had enough of my nerd talking for today though”.

“Aw, but I love it when you nerd talk” you pouted.

However, you could not help but replace your said pout with a sweet smile in a heartbeat, at the mental images of the way he had been smiling that entire evening, from the moment you were at the store looking for the camera as he excitedly —and rather impatiently— waited for it to be handed to him, to the way he later focused on getting the right angles and explained technical things you didn’t fully understand, yet found yourself being really interested in.

You truly did love the way he would talk about the things he was most passionate about — that you had learned ever since the first time you got together and his nervous ass would only open his mouth to drop random facts about cameras and photography, well, for that and to help with the project, of course.

“There will be a lot of it for the next few days, so don’t worry”.

Although he knew your words were genuine, for that was one of the reasons it was so easy for him to talk to you about just anything to begin with, he couldn’t help his words from coming out rather sheepishly as he admitted that.

“I’m ready for it” your dramatic words got a roll of eyes from him. “So where are we going now?”

“Home” he mindlessly repeated what he had said before, turning right in a corner as you made it to the street the closest subway station was at.

“I know,” you laughed lightly. “I mean yours or mine”.

“Oh,” he simply let out at the realisation.

Truth is, at this point, when you would not only stay over at each other’s on a daily basis but also had left a few clothes over, both your and his place could qualify as such. So he didn’t have an actual place in mind, he just meant going back somewhere, anywhere, with you.

“Joon-ie hyung is staying at Areum noona’s tonight, so we could go to mine”.

“Your place is it then” you nodded. Just like him, not really minding which place to crash at. “Should we go get some food to make dinner?”

“I’m lazy” he pouted. “There should be enough back at mine”.

“Did you get more ramen after we ran out the other day?”

He shut his eyes closed, and that was all you needed to know he didn’t. Now, he had intended to, since ramen was pretty much all there ever was to eat for dinner at his and Joon’s place, along with a few vegetables to season them with, but you had invited him over for dinner the very next day after running out of them, and the one after that, and so he just naturally forgot.

“It’s okay, we can just make a short run to the store near your place”.

Jeongguk whined, pulling you closer to him and resting his head on yours for a second as you reached the subways’ entrance. “Baby, I’m tired”.

Snorting, you got slightly away from him so you could properly walk down the stairs. “Then we’ll just go to sleep straight away once we get there, I guess”.

“By sleeping you mean…”

“Sleeping” you remarked, with a taunting smile letting him know that was all there was to it. “I mean, since you’re so tired…”

“You know…” he cut you off, already getting a smirk out of you as you knew well enough what he would say. You had been the one to tell him he could get his way with you that night after all. “Suddenly I’m not that tired anymore…”

[fleursdemeduse]

Remembrance AU: The First Time

So this isn't the first one I wrote for this "series", but this is the first one chronologically, so I decided this will be the first to be posted. Depending on how well this one and the other two I've written do will help me to decide if this is an AU I wanna continue or not. Feel free to send in asks and stuff about the AU!

Warnings: Violence ; Death

Words: 3.5k

You hated the nether. The thick dry heat choked you in a way that made you feel as if you had stepped into a wildfire in the middle of a desert, but worse. The smell of sulfur seemed to cling to your clothes in a way that made you gag every time. To be honest, you probably wouldn’t even be here if you didn’t appreciate the piglins. You were able to barter with them much easier than the villagers back home, and they had much better stuff. You snorted at the thought, and the large brute before you copied the action.

Home.

The village you had set up base in wasn’t really your home. Just a convenient place that you had set up your bed. A bed which now sat on the other side of the portal you had built on the lower level of the bastion below.

You were grateful to have access to the only thing you really needed in the nether. Trading with the piglins gave you a way to achieve more ender pearls so you wouldn’t have to kill the poor enderman on the surface. You held out another gold ingot to the brute, but he didn’t take it immediately. He was looking at something to the side of your exchange and you turned your head slightly to look too.

The heat of the nether was nothing compared to the warmth that immediately bubbled in your stomach. Everything seemed to fizzle out of existence aside from the large man that had entered the bastion. Which turned out to be your mistake.

Searing pain in your back made you grunt as you were knocked forward into the brute in front of you. You turned to see a ghast behind you that breathed another fireball. The piglin, upset at suddenly being “attacked” started to slice at you with its sword and you hissed at the damage you were taking. You didn’t want to kill the piglin. It didn’t understand that it had been an accident.

You cursed at yourself. You hadn’t realized how hungry you had been all this time, and your health felt dangerously low. Another hit from the explosion of the fireball and a swipe at the brute’s sword replaced the pain with nothing as you died.

You cursed when you woke up in your bed next to the portal. The mattress felt almost too soft as you struggled to remove yourself from it and fling yourself back through the portal. You flew up the steps, your feet taking them two at a time and you hoped your items hadn’t despawned.

You couldn’t help your sigh of relief when you saw Technoblade examining your items. You had been fast enough. You jogged up behind him, a grin on your lips, both relieved for your items and excited to finally meet him. “Hey!”

You immediately jolted to a stop at the sword now placed at your throat, but you could help but laugh at yourself. You should have expected that. You held up your hands in what you believed to be a non-threatening manner as you looked up at him.

“Sorry about that! I’m [y/n].” You watched him slowly lower the blade, eyes behind the mask narrowed at you. He looked both exactly how you expected and not how you expected at all.

“Technoblade.” You couldn’t help the giggle that spilled from your lips as you moved around him to collect your items and put back on your armor. Who hadn’t heard of him?

“Man, I hate ghasts. I worked really hard to save up all those levels, and now I have nothing.” You took a cursory glance at your levels. “Oh, I’m sorry, I have two. Fat load of help that would be. Glad I don’t need to enchant anything for a long while, hm?” You turned back to him once you had your golden boots buckled. You were totally going to take advantage of this opportunity to follow him like a puppy. No one else you had met seemed to actually understand you and the chance at an interaction with someone had you almost crawling up the walls. “Where are we off to, then?”

Techno just stared at you. You were much shorter than he was. At least a foot, if not more. How tall was he again? In this form, about seven feet, he thought. You were very short compared to him. The thought made his lips twitch before he turned, walking in the direction of where he last remembered there to be a fortress.

Chat was going crazy at the discovery of this new anomaly. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t met people he didn’t share a couple lifetimes with before. He had met plenty where they just didn’t meet in a life or two, such as George or Schlatt. But never someone he had shared none with. No one here seemed to speak of anyone new either. It was always the same people, a different storyline. As if DreamXD -or maybe Kristen? He had only met her once, but she had been very kind. Would this be her department, then?- just kept recycling their souls into new realities like a -what did that lifetime call it? A movie? Chat confirmed his thought- played for their own entertainment until they got bored and it was onto the next.

He glanced at you out of the corner of his eye. You were talking again, but the roar in his brain was louder, so he didn’t pay too much attention to your words, despite how the soft timbre of your voice made something bubble in his chest. What were you even doing here? He had seen you trading with the piglins before your death, -you had respawned so quickly, anyone else in this lifetime took two or three days but you seemed to reappear in what felt like seconds- so why were you following him now?

Chat’s whispers echoed through his mind.

E.

I wonder who they are.

They can’t be older than Tommy.

E.

Maybe we should kill them again, see what happens this time.

Wilbur will want to know about this.

They said their name was [y/n]?

Maybe they’re like Phil.

Pog.

E.

Blood for the blood god.

E.

They’re probably closer to Wilbur’s age.

Stab them.

Jump off the edge.

Push them off the edge.

E.

Techno, will you call my friend Rachel a nerd?

All warfare is based on deception.

His fingers twitched around his sword at the thought. Was this all a trick? It couldn’t be.

Could it?

He glanced at you once more, focusing on your words, finally.

“-like they seem to notice, y’know? I just kind of walk into their houses, take from their chests, and move on. Hell, I even put my bed in, I think the library? Not one of them batted an eye! It’s almost scary, to be honest. I can loot their things, sleep in their beds, practically dismantle their homes, and I get nothing but a “Hnn.” in response!” A small pout found its way to your lips and Techno hummed in response. This seemed to be what you wanted to hear because a smile replaced the pout and you looked up at him. “So where are we going again?”

“Fortress.” His words were short, tone clipped, as if he didn’t know if you were gonna shove him into the lava, or if that was what he planned to do to you. It didn’t matter, to be honest. You were just thrilled he was letting you accompany him. Heart soaring at the feeling of interacting with another intelligent being once more. He even seemed to be listening as you rambled! That had to be a good thing, right? You hadn’t really met anyone else on the server yet, aside from distantly watching Dream, George, and Sapnap build the large building that stood in the center of what they dubbed the Dream SMP. A small giggle fell from your lips. That would have been a cute name had one of the members not been named it. Rather, it just felt self-centered because of that. You were mildly afraid of approaching the trio. You were almost afraid of how they would react when they met you.

You edged closer to the bridge to the fortress with Technoblade and you felt your heart speed up a little. Ash floated across your vision and you felt it hard to breathe for a moment. The sweat that made your clothes stick to your skin under your armor made you feel clammy. You had only been in one of these once since coming here when you wanted to try your hand at learning how to craft potions and needed blaze rods.

That.. hadn’t worked out in your favor.

You had only had one set of diamond armor, and you hadn’t even enchanted it at the time. When the wither skeletons had overtaken you and murdered you without a thought, you remembered racing back and trying to get your items back. This had only led to yet another death, however. Your eyebrows furrowed as the question entered your mind.

How many times had you died?

You remember when you first came to this world, waking up next to a river with a chest filled with bread, a map, a wooden axe, and a few other paltry items sitting before you surrounded by torches. The gentle babble of the water easing you awake and the smell of fresh flowers floated through the breeze. You almost didn’t mind the ants that were crawling on the ledge just a tad too close to you. You remember being so confused and the days being so hard at first. You didn’t even sleep the first couple days because you hadn’t found a village yet. The stupid phantoms that had attacked you had made you way more aggressive than you had meant to be. But you were tired and you were frustrated and you just wanted to find a stupid village already. You had been residing in the one you were in now since you had first found it your third day here. The first two deaths happening on your second day. One because of said phantoms and one because you had fallen from a cliff. You were devastated at the lack of supplies and progress when you just respawned next to that river, awaking to a few scattered zombies and a skeleton or two. You had dug yourself a hole and cried in it while you waited for sun-up. Many more deaths had happened since, but you couldn't seem to be able to remember the number now.

You hadn’t planned on returning to a fortress until you had better equipment, fearing another death. Something better than your diamond armor and golden boots and your sole netherite sword, but who were you to miss the opportunity to go exploring with The Blood God? Besides you had a bow with Power IV you had stolen from a skeleton that had been in the village. You didn’t know how durable it still was, but it was better than nothing, right?

The rattling of bones brought you out of your thoughts. Already a couple of blazes and some wither skeletons were approaching. You drew your sword, heart hammering in your chest. This wouldn’t be like last time. You had Technoblade to back you up. The top PVPer. The winner of the potato war. The Blood God. You could do this. You could do this.

A lucky swing from one of the wither skeletons caught you in the arm and you hissed as the wither effect immediately took hold and you jolted at the feeling. It was numbing. You felt nauseated. Another hit and you gasped when you felt your health drop to a dangerous level. You sliced up with your sword, removing its head from its spine with a gnarly “click” and you immediately moved out of fire to drink some milk and eat a couple of the pieces of salmon you had brought with you.

Whilst you were letting your health regenerate, you removed your bow from your inventory, aiming at one of the blazes, only to watch something white hit it first. You hesitated, looking towards Technoblade, only to see him ignoring the wither skeletons that were approaching you and focusing on throwing snowballs at the flaming mob. Your lips twitched. Fine. You’d take care of the skeletons, then.

You grabbed your sword once more and began attacking the skeletons in front of you with reckless abandon. You were growing mildly frustrated. Your arm hurt now and Techno seemed to be leaving you on your own to fight off the horde that was slowly amassing. There had only been four of them at first, but now four more had sprinted over to join the fray when they saw the two of you. Now, minus the one you had already taken care of and the two Technoblade had killed within the first ten seconds of their approach, there were five. You winced when you heard the sound of both blazes being taken care of and you hadn’t even killed one more.

‘-so she throws this apple, she just chucks this apple and says like, only the hottest goddess can take this apple.’ Chat loved it when he told them mythology stories, despite them being there when he had read it.

E.

Greek mythology pog.

Semi-demi god for the win!

Speaking of discord, how’s the new person doing?

E.

Persephone is definitely the hottest.

At the mention of you, Techno turned his attention to the sound of metal hitting metal and was surprised to see you still standing there, despite being crowded by wither skeletons. Just another thing to tack onto the list about you. He watched you kill another one, followed by a yelp as you took another hit, the wither effect turning the flesh around your wound a purplish black before you killed one more. You backed up on the bridge, drinking more milk and eating another piece of fish. He could see how the action pained you, but you were resilient.

They’re stupid.

Look at them wave that sword around, do they even know what they’re doing?

E.

They haven’t died again yet?

They can’t be one of Schlatt’s people.

Save them.

Technoblade, wasn’t Eris the daughter of Zeus?

E.

He decided to wait and see what you did. If you died, there was more for him to loot. If you didn’t, then it was a lesson. Either way, he wouldn’t have to worry about protecting you further into the fortress. His nose twitched at the smell of your blood and of rot that seemed to ooze off the skeletons. He still needed more wither skulls.

The remaining four attacked you again, despite your low health, and you felt as if you were going to cry. You hated the nether.

Two more were dispatched a lot faster than the first ones had been and you swallowed. Adrenaline coursed through your veins and you felt just the slightest bit more confident in yourself.

Two more left.

You ducked at a swing, movement still slow. You only had one more milk left, and that scared you. You couldn’t, wouldn’t, get hit again with their stupid swords and their stupid wither effect. You sliced with your sword, hooking the metal into the rib cage in front of you and sending the skeleton careening into the other just as it swung down, making the attack miss.You flinched at the sound of metal hitting stone, but you recovered faster than the skeletons in front of you. You could do this.

Another hit, your sword cutting through the skeleton’s vertebrate and killing it. You could do this.

One more.

Your sword was met with metal as you blocked its attack and you grunted, knocking it back. You could do this!

A downward slice had you throwing yourself back onto the side of the bridge as you dodged. You couldn’t die. Not here. Not now. Not in front of Technoblade again. You shoved another piece of salmon into your mouth as you backed up. You really hoped there weren’t any more blazes around. Or more skeletons waiting for you. You shoved yourself off the wall, hitting the wither skeleton with your shoulder to knock it back again before you struck once more, across the neck, beheading it.

The sight of three wither skulls in your inventory made you fall to your knees and you let out a sigh in relief. Your arms ached. Your wounds ached. Your head ached. Your vision doubled for a moment. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath. You felt great, despite how dizzy you felt at the moment. You looked at Technoblade, hoping to find him still there.

He was leaned against the wall of the fortress, watching you with crossed arms.

Was he waiting on you?

The thought made you perk up and you scrambled to stand, rushing to him while holding the skulls. “Here! I got them all!”

He merely blinked at you as you handed him all three skulls you had gotten from your fight, placing them into his inventory after a moment. He didn’t speak, just turned to descend further in. Were you supposed to follow him?

You did anyways, feeling proud of yourself. He had waited on you!

The rest of the fortress had been like that. You continuously fighting wither skeletons, blazes, regular skeletons, zombified piglins, and magma cubes, only to turn over your loot to the large warrior who would patiently wait for you. You kept a few of the bars of gold, some diamonds, and one of the saddles you had found, but ultimately, you were just spare hands to help him. The experience you were gaining was more than enough, especially since he seemed to be listening to you ramble on and on. He’d occasionally hum or grunt in response, but not much more than that. It was still such a sweet sound in your ears, despite the constant crackle of fire that just filled the nether.

He didn’t speak when he decided he was finished, just started walking back the way you came and you immediately fell into step next to him when he walked past you.

Despite your exhaustion and the pain you felt, this trip felt more than worth it.

When you returned to the bastion where you two had first met, you grinned up at him.

Techno felt his breath catch in his throat at your smile. That smile almost made the sweltering brightness of the nether feel cold and dark. He had never had someone, aside from Tommy, smile at him with such warmth. No one had a smile like yours. They were all weighed heavy with the memories from lifetimes no longer in reach. But you? You were so tired from accompanying him, still wounded from fighting for him. Aside from the couple small treasures you had hidden away, you had given him everything. There was really no reason for you to have gone with him when you received virtually nothing in return. And now you smiled at him like that? You were-

TechnoSIMP.

E.

Look at how cute they are.

They’re stupid.

Take them back with us.

You should give them something for helping.

Hug them.

Awww look at them!

All warfare is based on deception.

He stopped that thought before it could fully finish.

“I should get going. I don’t know how dark it is and I want a bath.” He nodded at you. “I’ll catch you some other time, alright? Don’t be afraid to come by sometime if you need a buddy again, okay?”

He only hummed in response and watched you glide down the stairs of the bastion to a portal he had never noticed before.

A buddy? You weren’t a buddy. What did he really know about you?

You respawned faster than anyone else he had met. There hadn’t been another chance to test that, but you seemed unphased with your death. When you held up your hands, he couldn’t see the usual hearts on your wrist that they all shared. Even when normal members lost a life, he’s noticed that the normally red hearts are cracked and black. Phil himself had one on the center of his wrist. But yours were bare from the mark. You weren’t immortal, were you? Had he come across a god?

He chuckled at the thought.

Such a tiny god compared to him.

For now, he had to return to Pogtopia. He had to tell Wilbur about you. Perhaps write to Phil and ask if he knew anything about people with no or unlimited lives. He would repay your kindness at a later date.

He only hoped you wouldn’t be on the other side of this war.

[callmearcturus]

I think I genuinely have no idea how to adequately answer this. Metal Gear is the formative media for me, as in it is the foundational bedrock that all of my media literacy is built on top of. My problem is that I don't really know how to talk about MG in a 101 kind of way because I feel like I've been in it for most of my life, and since I started with MGS2 in 2001, I actually have.

God.

Metal Gear is a text so dense you could get a degree in analyzing it. It's a franchise of games but its also a metatext about games. Playing MGS2 with the context of MGS1 is like having Kojima sitting next to you on the sofa and smirking at you the entire time, every once and a while nudging you with his elbow. It's magical realism semi supernatural cyberpunk dystopian political drama with a massive alternate history that also predicted so fucking much.

It's the anti-war war game to end all anti-war games. It's THE post-modern game in a way that I don't think has been surpassed. Everything from Undertale to Doki Doki Literature Club to OFF owes a hat tip to Metal Gear.

It's also densely homoerotic/homoromantic, and frequently in a confrontational way that seeks to specifically make the straight boy gamers uncomfortable, which I love. Also the gaze of the games is very bisexual, which I just enjoy personally.

The thing is that people often refer to Kojima as if the game is made by one man, which is untrue, though its worth noting he has frequent collaborators. But what is true is that Kojima is a philosophical military nerd who makes fucking arthouse games and keeps somehow getting AAA budgets. He's also been making videos games since at least 1988, and in an industry that has a tremendous turnover rate for talent, someone with thirty-five years of experience is baffling.

I love that MGS was one of the most important games ever and it was a sneaky remake of MG2. I love the aggressiveness of MGS2. I love that MGS3 is just one of the best games every made and the ending still appears in my dreams sometimes. I hate MGS4 but in a loving way because the game is one prolonged tantrum on Kojima's part, the ornery bastard. I love that Peace Walker is one of the most mechanically brilliant games f all time. I love the themes of MGS5 and even when it tries desperately to shoot itself in the foot, it never really manages.

I love that this series is the smartest shit games have to offer and also stupid as hell. His name isn't Vamp because he's a vampire, it's because he's bisexual!

If you wanna experience the entire series, Chip Cheezum has done LPs of the entire mainline franchise.

So I've never played Metal Gear at all. What has you on about it?

Jesus christ what a fucking question

I need to think about this

The short version is that you know how Homestuck rewired people's brains in a way they will never escape?

That's Metal Gear for me.

[bokebelle]

Bertholdt with his crush (feat. reiner, annie, ymir, and historia and wingmen/people)

request: can you please please PLEASE do some headcanons where its a modern highschool!au and nerd!bertholdt has a crush on the reader while annie reiner and ymir (sometimes historia) put bertholdt in situations where hes by you or has to talk to you? thank you!!

WARNINGS: none

a/n: im so sorry i posted this so late! uni has been kicking me in the ass. I also just made it a more modern college au bc idk how flirting works in high school. jsdfkjdsk this is also unedited 

the moment rei, annie, Ymir, and hisu (ymir snitched) found out bert liked you, bert wanted to dig a hole and die in it on the spot

to be fair, reiner would probably be really subtle about trying to get you to together

reiner would probably invite you along whenever he and bert would do stuff

“hey [y/n]! You wanna study with us? Bert and I are off to the library right now”

he’d talk about things he knows you and bert like so you two can have more to talk about

he would also strategically sit away from bert so you could sit beside him 

He’d also leave to get “snacks” during your breaks so you and bert could be alone and talk

his mf got too excited and forgets to actually buy snacks because he was too busy watching from behind a bookshelf and sending pictures to a  group chat he made with annie, yimir, and historia without bert

took much longer because he actually had to go buy snacks

ymir would be a little less subtle but it can be easily be confused as her just teasing you guys

She’d insist you all study together in her and historia's apartment during finals so you guys could study longer

when you try and find a seat, she will NOT hesitate to shoo you away until you end up sitting beside bert 

“sorry babe, that seat is for historia” “ymir, she isn’t in the room yet” “i knw but I want her beside me. there’s an open seat beside bert, go sit with him”

historia would also be just as lowkey about it as reiner

she would ask you to help her in the kitchen and would make you bring like 6 bags and plates of snacks and drinks while she only brings a bag of chips ymir and a bottle of water for her 💀

she would also redirect any question you had towards bert because she “doesn’t know the answer, that’s why ymir has to help” she and ymir just spent half the time cuddling instead of studying

“hey bert, I think [y/n] is struggling with the snacks. mind lending a hand?”

when you handed him a few bags of chips, your hands touched and this baby turned so red you thought he was having a heat stroke or smn

ngl he froze for a seconds before helping you

they’re all pretty impressed with how bert managed to keep his cool during the entire night

lmao he’ll never admit it but he was too busy noticing how you’d move a little bit towards him whenever you had a question and the face you’d make when you were concentrating

it was getting late and you had exam in the afternoon, so you decided to go home. since you live pretty near ymir and historia’s place you decide to walk home

“hey [y/n] i can walk with you. it’s pretty late and it’s not safe to walk alone.” “are you sure?” “yeah I live pretty near you anyway, it’s no problem” 

and here we have the silent, but deadly one

the one who would not hesitate to throw bert under the bus if it was for his own good

since you and bert were just walking, you guys decided to head out first

everyone said their goodbyes just as bert is about to close the door, he hears annie go “hey bert since you had the balls to walk them home, maybe you finally have the balls to ask them out”

bert slammed that door SO HARD everyone thought he broke the door

pLEASE SOMEONE SAVE THIS MAN HE WASN'T BUILT FOR THIS

he’s praying to every god in every religion he knows that you did NOT hear annie

but you just...talk to him like and he’s relieved and makes a mental note to look for new friends

you ask him questions about his major and he gets so passionate about why he loves his major and his plans after school

you both don’t notice you’re already as your place

“well, good luck with your exam tomorrow [y/n]!” “hey bert I have one more question!” “sure what is it?” “are ever going to ask me out?”

BRO THIS MANS SOUL WENT TO AFTERLIFE AND GOT REINCARNATED IN THE SAME BODY AT THAT MOMENT

if you watched avatar: the last airbender, this mf went into the avatar state 💀

BLUSHING MESS OF A MAN

“okay well, um, do you wanna maybe go on a date with me after the exams?”

“u-um do you want me to? I mean you don’t have to and I didn’t think you heard annie and honestly it’s not a big deal and you’re probably gonna say no and tha-”

“bert you’ll never know if you don’t ask me.” you smile at him, biting your lip to hold back your giggles as the taller boy got redder with every word that left his mouth

“i’d absolutely love to”

EXTRAS:

lets just say, those were some of the best scores bert got in a while

unblocked it when annie told him you guys never would have dated if she didn’t say anything

his favorite date is when you study together because he gets to spend time with you while also helping you study <3 

Bert blocked annie’s number for a few days

ymir says she didn’t care if you guys started dating or not

reiner got disappointed that it was annie who got you guys together, not him but called it a team effort anyway

historia swears ymir had the biggest smile when you guys showed up holding hands after your first date

ymir never denies this but gets super grumbly about it

[freckled-words]

Fleeting Worlds - It Only Took 10 Minutes

A/N: Not even 8am in the morning, and I'm back at my old habit of posting fanfiction sneakily while at work (its actually a lot harder this time around, as I have someone sitting to my immediate right.)

I'm on a serious tasertricks kick right now, so you may see a lot of DarcyxLoki content from me ah ha.

This is my take on "What if Darcy had been there when Loki came through the portal?"

All my love to @hijackedreese for dealing with my continuous babble about these two, and for giving this a quick read through to fix the mess that auto-correct was forcing upon me.

Darcy didn’t know why, and didn’t ask why, but she was more or less grateful that Erik wanted her to join him on his super secret SHIELD project.

Director Fury had not been too pleased about her tagging along…right away. It took a couple weeks of cajoling, ignored friendly chattering, and a guessing game of how he took his coffee, but now he’d come around. It also really helped that he loved Nana’s snickerdoodle cookies. (Darcy was 100% convinced he’d sent an agent out to try and recover the recipe.)

Each time Director Fury came to check on their study of the tesseract, Darcy would welcome him with, “Hey Director, how’s the matrix holding up?”

And his response would give her an idea of where his mood was.

This morning he replied, “Stable today Ms. Lewis. How are my researchers holding up?”

At some point in her trying to warm Fury over, he’d decided her official job was “Scientist Wrangler.” Seeing as she was the only one forcing all the egg heads out the door at a reasonable hour every day. She made sure everyone had warm drinks or water at hand at all times, and even left them small snacks within easy reach. If one of them ever seemed to be struggling, she’d wheel them out the door and make them take a walk for some sunshine and fresh air.

Apparently Clint, aka Hawkeye, had reported to Fury that he’d never seen happier, more efficient nerds. The results that Fury was seeing confirmed this, and hearing it from one of his best gave it some gravity.

Along with her fun job title, they’d given her a slight pay raise. So she’d printed out a sign for her work station that read “Darcy Lewis, Scientist Wrangler.” Agent Maria Hill found this infinitely charming.

Darcy pointed to Erik, “He’s concerned, which is why you’re here. He can tell you all the babble. I’m going to the bathroom.”

Fury rolled his eyes, and moved along to speak with Erik. Darcy gave Hawkeye a little wave and called out, “You want more snacks for your perch?”

Clint gave her a thumbs up to acknowledge and answer the question. Darcy knew he’d been on edge since things had gotten a bit weird with their machine lately. Something about doors, and powering itself.

Clint was great. When he was relieved from his post, he’d hang out with Darcy and shoot the shit. Darcy unabashedly praised his arms, and he complimented her on worming her way into Fury’s good graces. They’d swapped perspective stories back from when Thor had crash landed in New Mexico, and bonded over how crazy their lives were these days. Sure he was a super spy, but, Norse Gods/aliens? That sure trumped a lot in the way of weird.

Darcy made a note to grab him more snacks, and hurried on her way to do her business.

She’d been gone for a whole 10, 15 minutes tops. During which time she’d felt the base tremble, causing dust to sprinkle down from the ceiling. And somehow, everything went into crazy bananas land in that short span of time.

As she’d been coming up on the doorway to the lab, she heard gunshots, yelling, and an eerie blue light was glowing from the other side.

Putting down her armful of chips and granola bars, Darcy stuck to the wall and inched her face around the door frame to peek inside the cavern.

The first thing she noticed were the bodies on the floor, some which were pooling blood, and clearly not breathing. Parts of the lab were on fire and sparking dangerously.

This was followed by the sight of Clint standing at ease, and rather close to the source of the violence.

She latched onto his getup of green and black leather. Recognizing the fashion for Asgardian, Darcy immediately dug through her recently built memory of Norse mythology. Which God had come calling with brutality?

“I am Loki of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose.”

Nice of him to answer her question without her having to ask.

Erik was crouched next to one of the scientists that weren’t moving. She waved a little, and managed to get his attention. He moved his head the slightest bit, indicating she needed to leave.

She shook her head, and motioned for him to come to her. She wasn’t just going to go running without him, Jane would never forgive her.

As Loki began to turn in their direction, Darcy ducked back out of sight.

“We have no quarrel with your people.” Fury’s voice rang out, and Darcy could kiss the man.

He’d been standing towards the machine, which was away from her. She leaned forward and watched Loki turn to face Nick fully. Taking the chance, she pointed at Erik and angrily pointed to the spot next to her.

Erik stood slowly, and much to her frustration shook his head, and motioned for her to get going.

“An ant has no quarrel with a boot.” Loki’s voice was far too calm as he said this. It made her skin crawl.

“Are you planning to step on us?” Director Fury countered back, sounding non-too amused.

Movement from the corner of her drew her attention to Clint. He was looking directly at her, with eyes glazed over with a burning blue edge. Something had been done to him, and as much as she’d love to help him, she didn’t think she could.

“Loki? Brother of Thor?” Erik’s question made Loki stiffen, and turn a hard stare in Erik’s direction.

There was no helping Erik now. But maybe she could get help? Maria had to be around somewhere, she always travelled with Director Fury.

Slowly she inched back out of Clint’s immediate sight. He must have gauged her not to be a threat, that, or whatever had possessed him was making him stick close to Loki.

She took off at a run, needing to find the first person with a comm piece. Or some kind of alarm.

No one knew there was danger in the form of a psychopathic Asgardian.

A spot of red in the middle of a wall caught her eye. A fire alarm! With this being a SHIELD base, she’d bet all her sweaters on this being the noisiest damn alarm ever built.

She just hoped Erik and Director Fury could keep their crazy guest distracted long enough for her to -

“Hello Little Mouse.”

Something with a sharp edge whizzed by her ear, leaving a shallow slice in its wake as it embedded itself just above the alarm. As it settled she saw it had been a dagger. A very lethal looking dagger.

She heard four sets of feet approach her at a quick clip, three of them continued on. Knowing who the remaining set belonged to, she forced herself to take a deep breath and slowly turn around.

He practically loomed over her with his ridiculous height. Roughly around the same stature as Thor, except he was all lean and coiled. Manic amusement bore into her through those green eyes.

Fear took the steering wheel in her head and honked the horn, making her say weakly, “Welcome to Earth…er…Midgard?”

Yea she was totally going to get stabbed to death.

“You don’t appear to be an academic, nor a warrior.” He scanned her up and down, taking in her baggy cardigan, Taco Tuesday shirt, jeans, and knit hat. Smug condescension edged into his eyes and smile.

If it had been anyone else, she’d give them an earful and maybe a taser prong to the nuts. But this was Loki, a sociopath that had managed to brain wipe Hawkeye and make him their best friend.

Thinking fast and kicking down her pride, she dropped onto one knee and kept her head bent down in a bow, “You’re correct. I’m nobody, just a coffee fetcher.”

From Loki’s feet, she could see him lean back, relaxing just a touch. “A mortal with some proper sense at last.”

She hadn’t gotten a good look at it when she’d been watching the show down earlier, but now the tip of his weapon moved beneath her chin.

Loki used the slightest bit of pressure to make her tip her head back, forcing her to meet his gaze, “Tell me Coffee Fetcher, would you like to keep your life?”

She swallowed hard, “If you saw fit to grant such a mercy, I would be eternally grateful.” It was amazing how eloquently someone could speak when their life was hanging a thin thread.

His smile radiated with his pleasure at being acknowledged for who he thought he was. ‘That’s right Crazy Alien, feed that raging ego and get on with your day.’

Of course, this would be the point when Erik came into view. He had apparently been one of the other three that had been travelling with Loki. Like Clint, his eyes had become glazed over with blue fire.

Seeing what was holding up Loki, Erik smiled fondly (eerily) at Darcy, “That’s Darcy. She’s my friend, she’s Jane and Thor’s friend too. She’s no trouble to us.”

Darcy would have slapped a hand to her face if not for the very pointy spear tip under her chin. Said spear had more pressure applied, forcing her to stand if she didn’t want it piercing into the underside of her jaw.

“Well well miss Coffee Fetcher. It seems you’ll be of use to me.” Before she could even think to move, the spear was spun in his hand and pressed against her chest.

Blue light spread across her vision, wiping away all her fear and panic. Loki wasn’t some psychopath, he was her friend.

He placed his arm around her shoulders and led along behind Erik, “Let’s get to work shall we?”

“Just let me know how I can help.” Darcy chirped back, thrilled and eager to help Loki.