#god i love her soooo bad
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what if all i need is you?
addison montgomery x reader
contains smut - about 1k words in
word count: 6740
a/n: veers away from the actual series - takes place right before (and into) the prom episode!! i wrote this in NOVEMBER LOL been hiding in the google docs 4ever. may be off continuity-wise (or some things may just be weird) but i was too busy thinking abt addie -- can u blame me?!?!?!?1//1?!
lyrics from taylor swift's "slut!"
Flamingo pink, sunrise boulevard
Clink clink, being this young is art
You and Dr. Montgomery had just left work together. The two of you were on-call the night before, and got off in the afternoon. She had been wearing her flamingo pink scrubs that night, looking beautiful as ever. Her hair was less curled than usual, fairly straight, with a slight inward curl at the end–how you liked it the most.
You’d gotten an Uber right after work, and took it downtown, where the two of you walked up and down streets (popping into stores occasionally), until dinner. You stopped in a small local place, which turned out to be much better than expected.
“We’ve got to come back here,” Dr. Montgomery said.
“Absolutely, Dr. Montgomery,” you replied, a smile on your face.
“It’s Addison, to you. Surely, we’re on a first-name basis at this point.”
“Cheers, Addison,” you clink your glasses. “To this amazing dinner.”
Aquamarine, moonlit swimming pool
What if all I need is you?
After dinner, with the impending sunset, Addison called an Uber for the both of you. She took you back to the hotel she’d been staying at following her divorce from Derek Shepherd. She led you up to her room, telling you all about the different things the hotel had–a gym, obviously, billiards, a family and an adults only pool (with a hot tub), as well as a jacuzzi in her bathroom. Seeing your excitement at the jacuzzi, she suggested that the pair of you take a dive–she’d let you borrow one of her two swimsuits.
After looking through her luggage, she handed you a black bikini. “You can change first,” she said. You stepped into the bathroom, only a few paces from where you were standing. Peeling off your pants, you noticed the size of the jacuzzi. It wasn’t large. Regardless of where you sat, you’d be in contact with Addison. The thought sent a shiver down your spine, and heat to your cheeks. You tried to shake it off, pulling off the rest of your clothes and putting on Addison’s bikini. As you glared in the mirror, you noticed how it fit you. It wasn’t skimpy, (Addison surely wouldn’t have offered it to you if it was) but you looked good. The lighting in the bathroom placed emphasis on your barely-there abs, and made you look much more toned than you truly were.
Checking yourself out, you decided to pull your hair down from the messy bun it had been in during the day. You weren’t sure why, but you made sure that your hair looked perfect before you exited the bathroom.
Addison stared at you in silence for a moment, checking you out. She seemed to snap out of it quickly, saying, “Sorry. Not used to seeing my bikini on someone else.” You noticed a red tint on her cheeks as she passed you to go into the bathroom, though. You sat on the bed, trying to keep your mind away from imagining Addison in a bikini, even though you’d see her in one in a few moments. You didn’t want to think about it–seeing her collarbone, her shoulders, her waist. God, you couldn’t even think about her legs without your face heating up. Which shouldn’t happen. You couldn’t be thinking about your friend–your coworker–like that.
She opened the door moments later, wearing a pink bikini. You took a mental note of that, Addison’s favorite color is pink, surprisingly. It was like you felt time stop when you saw her. She looked gorgeous, better than you could’ve ever imagined that anyone could. Her voice brought you back to reality.
“I turned on the jacuzzi. So…”
“Right,” you said, and followed her into the bathroom. She got into the bathroom with all the grace you could imagine. You tried to not get distracted, following her into the jacuzzi. You sat across from her, your knees touching. “Must be nice to come home to this,” you joked.
“Oh, yeah,” she smiled. “This thing has to be one of the best ways to unwind.”
“What are the other ways?” you asked, a slight bit of flirtation coming out. You didn’t even realize, not until you had already said it.
“Can’t tell you all my secrets, can I?” Addison flirted back, brushing her knee along your leg. Hearing the ding of her cellphone, Addison reached to the counter behind you, where she’d placed her phone before you’d come into the bathroom. You held your breath at the close proximity. Her stomach was practically in your face, and it took nearly everything in you to not look up. She sighed when she looked at it, but quickly came back down to the jacuzzi, sitting next to you, instead of across from you.
“Hi,” you said, taking a deep breath.
“Hi,” Addison replied, a sly smirk on her face.
“Who was that?”
“Oh, just Derek. Nothing important,” she said, ever-so-slightly moving closer to you. You felt her thigh against yours, and nearly went into cardiac arrest. It was a miracle that you weren’t hooked up to a heart monitor, because she surely would’ve caught on to the fact that you were practically dying from just being near her. Addison pushed a piece of your hair behind your ear. “Did I ever tell you how much I appreciate you?”
“Uh… you might’ve mentioned it once or twice,” you said, quietly, as Addison started to get closer to you.
“You make my life so much easier by just being in it,” she confessed, looking into your eyes. You swallowed thickly, your breath picking up. “Are you nervous?” Addison asked, picking up on the tenseness radiating from you. When you didn’t answer, she said, “Don’t be nervous. It’s just me.” Leaning forward, Addison placed a soft kiss on your lips. Your hands found their way into her hair, and Addison planted herself on top of your legs. Like something snapped, the kiss heated up, and you felt Addison’s hands running along your sides and then felt a hand along your thigh, and one in your hair. After a few moments, Addison pulled back, resting her forehead on yours. “Good?”
“Yeah. Yeah. Good,” you said. One of Addison’s hands found your neck, pressing on your pulse point.
“Relax, Y/N. I’m gonna have to take you back to the hospital.”
“If it means spending more time with you…” you trailed off, lightly joking. You glared into her eyes. “You’re so pretty.”
“Thank you,” she said, before returning to kiss you. Addison’s hips started to grind against nothing, which didn’t go unnoticed from you. Even though she wasn’t doing much to you–just the feeling of her thighs moving along yours was enough to drive you crazy. It didn’t get easier when she started to slip her tongue into your mouth. You moaned into her mouth, which really didn’t go unnoticed by Addison, as she ran her hand back up to your chest, feeling you up through the bikini she lent you. She pulled back slightly, “having fun?” she asked, while continuing to feel you up.
It took everything in you to not make a sound, which was very evident to Addison. “Mhm…” you hummed in response.
“Oh, come on… Use your words,” Addison commanded lightly.
“Yes. Addison, I need-,” you started, cutting yourself off because of the pleasure that Addison was bringing you.
“What do you need, sweetheart?”
“You. Just… you. All I need is you,” you admitted, breathlessly. Addison’s confident exterior faded, seemingly affected by your statement. She practically lunged toward you, placing her lips on yours roughly. Her hands traveled up and down your back and sides quickly. She lightly pulled on the back of the bikini you were wearing before pulling apart to ask,
“May I?”
You nodded, knowing your words would fail you. You pulled Addison back towards you, and it was now your turn to kiss her roughly. She made a noise of surprise before pulling the strings to your bikini, causing it to fall off completely. Taking her lips off of yours, she began to kiss down your jaw and onto your neck, where she sucked for a moment. Doing it with a doctor really was as good as you’d think. Addison knew all the spots. Moving down, past your neck, she placed light kisses along your collarbone and down onto one of your breasts.
You couldn’t help the moan that came out of you. “Oh, Addie…” Addison pulled back, scanning your body.
“You’re so beautiful. Perfect,” she decided, bringing one of her hands to your breast. Lightly, she ran her thumb back-and-forth across your nipple, watching your reaction. She took note of your heavy breaths. “Feels good?” You nodded. “Just sensitive?” she questioned.
“Yeah, for you.”
“You’re gonna inflate my ego by saying things like that,” Addie warned.
“Things like what? The truth?”
“Shut up,” Addison said, going to kiss you again. She began to toy with your nipple, loving the way you squirmed under her. You couldn’t help the quiet moans that came out of your mouth. Her other hand found its way to your upper thigh, before she pulled apart again, “Can I-”
“Addison, you can do whatever you want to me,” you cut her off, pulling Addison’s face back to yours. Within seconds, you felt Addison’s hand sliding under your bikini bottom. You lifted your hips instinctively, giving her a better angle. When Addison felt how wet you were, the both of you moaned. When one of her fingers came up to your clit, you whined.
“So, you’re really sensitive, huh?” she asked.
“I already told you-”
“Don’t be ashamed, it’s hot,” Addison told you, slowly sliding one of her fingers inside you.
“Addie…”
“I love when you say my name,” she encouraged. She slowly started to move her finger in and out of you, watching your reactions like a hawk. She could see how riled up you were, how you were desperate. Desperate in need of her. “Babe, take a breath. Slow down.”
When you did take a breath, she kissed you lightly. “That’s my girl.” Addison fully intended to take care of you. This was not going to be quick, she was going to revel in the pleasure she gave you, and as much as she loved seeing your desperation for her, she didn’t want you to tire yourself out too quickly. Again, she placed light kisses on your neck, smiling when she heard you moan. Too focused on her finger inside you, you didn’t even realize when she started sucking on your neck. When she pulled back, she said, “oops.”
“Huh?”
“You’ll see later,” she said, smirking. Before you could respond, she pushed another finger inside you.
“Oh, god, Addison,” you moaned, your head falling back. “This is… You’re making me feel so good.”
“Good. Relax for me,” she instructed. She brought herself back up to your face, beginning to make out with you again, while continuing to move her fingers in-and-out of you at a painfully slow pace, every-so-often brushing against your g-spot. Addison loved this; making you feel so good. It was like second nature. It was one of the best ways to unwind.
Eventually, Addison started to speed up her fingers, and your moans started to get louder and louder. She pulled back, wanting to watch how you squirmed because of her. “Addison,” you breathed. “Addi- Addison… oh my God.”
“Addie, please,” you begged. “Please, Addison, please.”
“You’re doing so good for me, sweetheart,” she encouraged. “Come on…” she muttered. She sped up a little bit more, biting her lip as she focused on making you feel good. It was a combination of seeing Addison biting her lip and her saying, “Come on, be a good girl for me,” that really sent you over the edge. You felt your whole body shake as you tried to slightly hold in your moans (the whole world didn’t need to hear you–only Addison). Your thighs practically crushed Addison’s hand as she helped you ride out your orgasm. Slowly, she pulled her fingers out of you, and pressed a kiss to your forehead.
She moved back to sitting next to you, and wrapped one of her arms around you, pulling you close. You rested your head on her shoulder, trying to catch your breath. The two of you sat in silence for a moment, before Addison got out of the jacuzzi, and began to help you out. She cleaned you up and dried you with a towel, before leading you back to the bed. You sat on the edge of the bed, watching Addison wordlessly as she went to get you pajamas. She placed her Yale hoodie and a pair of sweatpants next to you.
She went into the bathroom with her own pajamas, and you took that as your cue to put her clothes on. When she came back out of the bathroom, you smiled at each other. You’d never seen Addison in anything less than workplace-casual, and she looked adorable, to say the least. Her glasses only added to it–you loved her glasses. And Addison got a kick out of seeing you in her clothes.
“How are you feeling?” she asked, standing in front of you, using one of her hands to guide your jaw, having you look up at her.
“How do you think?”
“Well, I’d hope amazing,” she said, walking to the other side of the bed, and getting under the covers. You followed her lead. You fell asleep quickly, almost as soon as the lights were off. And your dreams were filled with Addison, watching her from the observatory in the operating rooms, and watching as she looked over babies and talked to patients. When you woke, it was because Addison had ordered room service for the both of you, and she was talking to the delivery man. At first, you were confused, not even remembering having fallen asleep. But when you turned and saw Addison standing at the door with her back to you, it all made sense. She still had a little bit of bedhead, but it was adorable.
“Oh, sorry. Did I wake you?” she asked when she’d turned back around and saw you staring at her with a smile.
“Maybe. I don’t mind.”
“I got breakfast,” she said nervously. She climbed back onto her bed, sitting crisscrossed next to you. Of course, you always knew Addison was kind. She was always a good friend, you’d thought, but you never imagined that she was listening to every word you were saying, which became clear when she’d gotten your favorite breakfast; something you mentioned months ago. You ate together, talking about meaningless things over breakfast. She told you about what Derek had texted her last night–asking her about one of their mutual friends back in New York. She told you about the brownstone and the house in the Hamptons. She told you about their odd neighbors.
She asked what you would tell your friends when you went home, what story you would make up. The both of you knew that there was no way you could tell your coworkers about this. Even if she just told Derek, he’d have to tell Meredith, and then word would spread throughout the entire hospital before you even went back to work. You told her, “Oh, you know. I spent the night with a gorgeous man. Tall, red hair, slender hands,” you began. “And he got me breakfast, that’ll give ‘the guy’ brownie points.”
“Wow. I get brownie points?” Addison asked, laughing to herself.
“Whoa, whoa. The mystery man I’m telling my friends about gets brownie points.”
“Of course.” Addison smiled. You left Addie’s hotel room shortly after that, making sure you avoided Mark Sloan and Chief Webber as you left. She offered to let you borrow her Yale hoodie, so you didn’t have to wear your same outfit from yesterday, but you declined. It was too risky, someone at the house would’ve noticed. You left on good terms, though, or so you thought.
Got love-struck, went straight to my head
Got lovesick all over my bed
The days following your night with Addison went by quickly, but torturously. You didn’t talk to Addison for four days, and you were honestly starting to think that Addison was avoiding you purposefully. You’d only caught sight of her a handful of times, but from afar. She was talking to Mark or arguing with Karev. You could even see Mark trying to flirt with her a few times, which would’ve sent you off-the-rails, if you weren’t trying to keep your feelings for Addison under wraps.
You weren’t doing a good job at hiding your feelings generally, though, because as soon as you got home you’d either lay facedown on the couch or immediately make a break for your bed, slamming the door behind you. Your friends knew something was up, but tried to wait it out, at first.
On Thursday, you heard your friends whispering outside your door, until George lightly knocked on your door before barging in anyway. “Hey…” he said cautiously, as if you were a cat about to lash out at him. He sat on the edge of your bed lightly. “You okay?” You took a deep breath, which to George, was a warning. “Right, bad question… is this about the guy from the other day?” You groaned before sitting up.
“It’s just like, how do we sleep together and then you completely don’t speak to me for days? Not one text, George, not one! Actually, we didn’t even really sleep together, he just fingered me and that was it! I would’ve gone further, he stopped it! Isn’t that weird? I mean, I would expect a text, at least. Like, tell me what went wrong or why you don’t want me anymore!”
“Well, maybe-”
“It would be better if I had just met him at a bar or something and it was a one-night-stand, never see you again, sort of thing. But I knew this guy! For a while! I’m gonna see him around at some point, he can’t just avoid me forever!” you continued to rant, cutting George off.
“You know, guys are-”
“It’s really just so dumb. Like you wanted me and initiated the whole thing and now you won’t even speak to me? It’s like, talk to me! You know?” You stared at George for a minute, expecting him to say something. “Say something!”
“I was expecting you to cut me off, again,” he said. “This is gonna sound horrible, but I think you’re just getting in your head about it all. I do the same thing. We should know better than anyone, though, that people have lives. We go weeks without texting people back.” You stared at him for a moment. He was right, even though you hated that fact. You just wanted Addison to want you, but the fact that she was avoiding you made you feel like it was just a one-night thing for her. It wasn’t, for you. For you, you realized that your friendship with Addison had always been a disguise. You always had feelings for Addison, how could you not have? And how could you not have realized that sooner?
You kept talking to George for a while. After some time, you were sure Meredith and Izzie weren’t listening anymore. It was hard talking to George, though, because everything had to be vague. You couldn’t reveal a thing about this man, unless it was a lie. It did help, though. You started to feel more like yourself. Addison was an adult, she’d talk to you at some point, and things would be sorted out. Surely.
Love to think you’ll never forget
Handprints in wet cement
The following day, you’d finally had a reason to talk to Addison. Dr. Bailey had asked you to deliver a file to her, and even though you would’ve rather had anyone else do it, Meredith was the only person nearby. It took a while of looking, but you’d finally managed to find Addison by the nurses’ station. Unfortunately, though, she was talking to Mark. You watched, trying to hide your utter rage, as Mark was clearly flirting with her, and she wasn’t pushing him aside. You walked up to the pair of them, clearing your throat.
“Doctor Montgomery.” She hummed when she turned, not immediately realizing it was you. “This is from Doctor Bailey,” you said, your eyes darting between her and Mark. It was hard to read Addison, but looking in her eyes, you could’ve sworn you saw her trying to hide her guilt.
But Mark… When you turned to leave, Mark said, “Leaving already? We were just starting to have fun!”
“Stop flirting with me, Mark,” you said, walking away quickly. You found an empty closet, and sat on the floor.
Adorned with smoke on my clothes
Lovelorn and nobody knows
Love thorns all over this rose
I’ll pay the price, you won’t
You were starting to feel crazy, really. How could months of friendship with Addison completely fall out of touch? You hadn’t initiated things with Addison, how were you to know that your romance would end any relationship you had had with Addison? After a few more days, the whole hospital knew you were upset. It wasn’t hard to find out—people just had to look at you. When you saw Doctor Burke in passing, even he said something about it. But nobody knew why. Well, that was a lie. People thought they knew why. They thought that it was because you were having guy problems. You were not having guy problems.
It was your turn to avoid Addison, now. There wasn’t a chance that she hadn’t heard about what was going on with you, but you hoped she knew better than to think that it was about a guy. She was smart enough to know it was about her.
To help, your friends tried to find someone else for you. They brought you to Joe’s, (keeping you away from the dartboard, and away from the drinks, they only let you have enough to let loose) and tried to set you up with every man they found. They were cute, you supposed. Their plan really wasn’t working out. They tried for a while, though, you had to give them that. Even Cristina seemed dedicated, though you saw her complain to Meredith often. You had a good enough time, until you were leaving. Alex had showed up at some point, and he took part in trying to get you laid. But once you had decided to leave, he said, “Oh, get over it, already! Let me show you a good time.”
You honestly could not believe him. You knew he was an asshole, obviously. But he’d seen you in pain for weeks, and still said something like that. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” you shouted, turning and walking out the door before you could even see his reaction. That was new, from you. Even with Alex always being a douchebag, you’d never yelled at him. You called an Uber, and went home, blasting sad music in your headphones once you’d reached your bed. You don’t know when your friends got home, you didn’t see them until the morning. In the morning, you didn’t eat breakfast, and you barely said anything to your friends. They didn’t say much to each other, either. It was like your presence immediately ruined the mood. You yelled at Alex. Sure, you never yell, but it was Alex, you should be allowed to yell at Alex without Izzie acting like you’d kill her for speaking.
You couldn’t believe this was happening. How could going out with Addison after work one day lead to all this? This was Addison’s doing, and yet you were living your life in misery while her life stayed the same. You’d seen Addison in passing a few times, but only for work. You really didn’t even say hello. It was a week after you yelled at Alex that she paged you.
Seeing Addison at first was fine. You were in your “work mode” and she was just Doctor Montgomery, not Addison. But when she told you to follow her, and she started to lead you to an on-call room, you started to get nervous. This wasn’t work. This was Addison. She locked the door behind you.
“Hey,” she said, clearly nervous, even for herself.
“Hey,” you said back.
“I heard about what happened with Alex,” she grimaced. “I’m sure he deserved it.”
“When does he not?” you said, numbly. It pained Addison to see you like this. There wasn’t the slightest bit of you that was happy. She could see it in your eyes. “Is that all you heard?”
“No.”
“That’s great,” you said, as sarcastic as you could, even with how numb you felt. “Didn’t know you partake in the gossip.”
“I don’t, but people don’t shut up.”
“Right.” Addison took a step closer to you, your back against the door.
“Will you look at me, please?” you stayed looking anywhere but at Addison. You couldn’t do it. It would kill you. “You haven’t looked at me in weeks. Please, look at me.” Even with how upset you were, there was something in Addison’s voice, the genuine pleading, that you couldn’t deny. When your eyes met hers, you saw how glazed her eyes were. She wasn’t crying, but she nearly was. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?”
“Yes. I’m sorry. Of course, I’m sorry. Do you think I wanted to hurt you, really? Is that the impression I gave you?”
“Doctor Montgomery, you didn’t talk to me for weeks.”
“Doctor Montgomery? You’re calling me Doctor Montgomery?”
“Yes. I am.” You noticed Addison’s breath picking up. She took a step back, and ran a hand through her hair. You couldn’t remember a time where you’d seen her like this.
“I’m… I didn’t mean to do that,” she said. “God, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” she continued, sitting on the bed. “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” she whispered, as if she was saying it to herself. You could see how hard it was to keep herself together. Once you realized that, you had a hard time keeping yourself together.
“Addison…” she looked at you. “I don’t…” you began. “There’s a lot that I could say. So much that I could say. But… I just don’t want to do this anymore.” You started to slide down the door, and didn’t stop yourself. “I’m so tired, Addie. I can’t sleep, I can’t breathe. I can’t talk to people, or have people talk to me, and I’m tired of it.” You started to cry, and heard rustling before you felt Addison sitting next to you. You leaned into her. “Can we please stop this? Can we just start over? As friends, or… whatever you want. I just need this to be over.”
“Let me take you to the prom,” Addison said.
“What?” you said. Surely, she did not say “the prom.”
“Didn’t you hear? Richard’s having a prom. Tomorrow.”
“Oh. No, I didn’t hear. Haven’t really been listening to people, recently.”
“Right…”
“I’ll go with you,” you said.
“Really?” Addison asked, a little over-excited, her voice higher than usual.
“Yeah,” you said, a small smile on your face.
“I’ll pick you up at eight?” she suggested.
“Sounds good, Addie.” She pressed a kiss to your forehead before standing, saying she had to go. You scooted over, letting her leave. You sat in the on-call room for a while, smiling to yourself. You figured that for the time being, you’d just tell everyone that the guy finally called, and you worked things out.
But if I’m all dressed up
They might as well be looking at us
And if they call me a “slut”
You know, it might be worth it for once
You had been ready half an hour early, pacing your room, making sure you looked okay. You decided on a baby pink gown (yes, Addison’s favorite color, on purpose) that tied up the back and had a slit. You hadn’t seen Izzie or Meredith yet, since they were busy getting themselves ready, but you had seen George, and he seemed stunned. He said that you looked great, and he would be surprised if you didn’t have men all-over you the entire night.
At 7:55, you were still pacing your room, but with your heels on, now. You heard the doorbell ring at exactly eight. And heard Izzie and George run to the door, you cursed yourself for not being down there already.
“Doctor Montgomery!” You heard your friends say at the same time.
“Nice see you, Doctor Stevens, O’Malley. I’m here for Y/N.”
You came down the stairs just in time to see their faces. They didn’t say anything though, just ran further into the house, probably to try to connect the dots. You left with Addison without a word.
“I got you a corsage,” Addison said, while you were on the porch.
“You did? I didn’t even think about that, I’m sorry.”
“I invited you, thought it would be nice,” she said, sliding the corsage on your wrist. It was red, matching her dress. She looked beautiful. You could’ve stared at her for the whole night, instead of even going to the prom. When you arrived at the prom, you mingled around for a while, trying the punch and doing the photo booth that the hospital had somehow acquired. In one of the pictures, Addison kissed your cheek. You tucked the photostrips into your purse, making a note to give Addison her’s later.
Although you were trying to focus on Addison, and not the people around you, you noticed that it seemed like people hadn’t caught on, yet. People glanced at you occasionally, but it seemed as though that was because you were no longer moody. You and Addison talked about your high school prom experiences. She told you about how she was a band geek, and you told her about how you had a lot of friends. “You were a popular girl?” she questioned, humored.
“I wasn’t a popular girl, I just had a lot of friends!”
“You were a popular girl. That makes so much sense.”
“It’s like social situations come so easy to you. You’re perfect at them. It’s like you always know what to say. You’re so good with patients and their families.”
“Thank you,” you said, taking the compliment whole-heartedly. “I was not a popular girl.”
“Mhm.” Addison smiled at you. The DJ started to play something slow. “Dance with me?” You took Addison’s hand, and she led you towards the dance floor. You stayed near the edge, trying to keep yourself out of the spotlight, but you could tell people were looking anyway. You saw Izzie and George in your periphery, and even Derek and Meredith had stopped dancing to look at you, jaws dropped. You saw Alex looking on from afar, a soft smile on his face. He’d gotten over you yelling at him, and understood the line he crossed (he wasn’t going to apologize). You loved dancing with Addison. Neither of you were dancers, by any means, but it was nice to have her hands on you, especially after being away from her for so long.
When the song was over, she led you away from the prom, and you found an empty room. “I didn’t want people staring at us anymore,” she said. You took steps towards her as she spoke.
“Yeah,” you said, staring at her lips.
“You look beautiful,” Addison said, looking you up and down.
“So do you, Addie.” You took another step towards her, your voice lower than usual.
“You like the red? I wasn’t sure about it.” As soon as she finished her sentence, you pulled her close to you, pressing your lips onto hers. It wasn’t slow, it wasn’t soft. You couldn’t help it anymore. She looked hot, and it was making you feel hot. Addison was a little taken aback at first, but quickly began to reciprocate your kisses. Your hands found her hips, and she whimpered into your mouth. Addie turned the two of you around, pressing you against the examination table, and telling you to jump between kisses. You jumped onto the table, Addison hiking up your dress and standing between your legs. She pulled on the strings to the back of your dress, letting you slightly loose. Addison’s hand gently found its way to your core, lightly rubbing against it. She was giving you the friction you desperately needed. You were ready to let Addison do whatever she wanted to you, until you heard the door open.
You stopped kissing quickly, turning your heads to see Derek. He was standing with his mouth agape. Clearly, not expecting what he saw. Who’s to blame him? Seeing your ex-wife kissing your girlfriend’s roommate had to be shocking. “Derek, you’re gonna start drooling,” Addison said, rolling her eyes.
“Sorry,” he said. “Sorry.” He left quickly, shutting the door behind him. You could see him stand outside of the room for a moment though, surely short-circuiting. When you looked back at Addison, you knew the two of you had to get out of there. She looked hot, too hot, but she also looked like she had just been making out. You must’ve looked like that too. As you left, you started to lose the worry of judgment. Who cares if you’re with Addison? What does it matter if anyone cares, if you had Addie?
The short ride back to your house was fairly silent, but comfortable.
And if I’m gonna be drunk
I might as well be drunk in love
When you got back to the house, you and Addison shared a glass of wine before heading to your room.
“I need you to know that I wasn’t trying to avoid you.”
“I know.”
“But… I need you to really know that. I mean it. I’ve never done this before,” Addison began. “I really want this, though. I really want you. You’ve been my best friend, but I can’t look at you and not think about how perfect you are, and how I just want to make you happy.”
“Okay,” you said.
“You get it?”
“I think so, yeah.”
“So, we’re starting over?” Addison asked.
“Yeah, we can start over,” you confirmed.
“Okay. I’ll be better this time.”
“I know, Addie.”
“Can I spend the night?” You smiled at the thought.
“If you want to? Derek is probably gonna be around. These walls are kinda thin.” you warned. It would surely be weird for Addison to hear her ex-husband getting it on with another woman.
“That’s okay. Thin walls go both ways,” Addison said, smirking. Of course, she’d be up to something. “Do you wanna shower?”
“We are not doing it in the shower. I’m too clumsy.”
“Oh, I know.”
“So, you wanna have a PG-13 shower with me?”
“I am actually interested in you for more than sex. Yes, I would love to shower with you.”
The two of you exited the bathroom just in time to see Derek and Meredith walking to her room. You stood in shock for a moment, but laughed it off. As soon as you and Addison reached your room, she shut the door behind you, locking it, and immediately dropped her towel, pressing her face to yours. You slid your hands along her sides before dropping your own towel. Addison pulled away from you, commanding you to, “get on the bed.” You did as she said, and felt your face heat up when she ended up on top of you, kissing you for a few moments before her mouth found its way to your neck. You couldn’t help your moans, but tried to keep them quiet. Addison laughed to herself.
“Something funny?”
“Just love seeing how I make you feel, babe,” Addison said, causing your legs to tense. She began to kiss down your chest, to your stomach, and to your upper thighs. When she pressed the first kiss to your thigh, you twitched. God, Addison was gonna be the death of you. Addison pressed soft kisses back up your thighs, finding herself at your core. She licked a long stripe up your folds slowly. You moaned loudly. You did not expect this tonight.
“Addie, oh my God,” you whined as she started to pick up her pace, getting more comfortable with her movements. Your legs started to tremble, and you knew it was only a matter of minutes before Addison sent you over the edge. “Addison… Addie, you’re so good at that. Just like that.” Addison continued her pursuit, exactly how you wanted it. “Oh, please don’t stop. Please, Addie, please, don’t stop… Oh my God!” With a few more seconds, your thighs tightened around Addison’s head. Your whole body trembled, and while working you through your orgasm, Addison watched you.
“That was so hot, baby,” she said, clearly turned on.
After taking a moment to breathe, you said, “Addison, please lay down.” She did as you asked, and you began to press kisses to her neck. “I’m giving you a hickey. Payback.” She moaned quietly in response. You’d only given her a small hickey, she could cover it easily, if she wanted to. Post-hickey, you worked your way down to her chest, lightly sucking on her breast. Addison’s moans became more frequent, and it was music to your ears. You would give anything to hear that for the rest of your life. While your mouth was busy with Addison’s chest, one of your hands found its way between her legs. You began by slowly rubbing her clit, gaining a fairly loud moan out of Addie, and then pressing a finger of yours inside her once she seemed prepared. You pulled back from her chest in that moment, wanting to see her reaction.
She threw her head back, closing her eyes, and moaning constantly as you slowly moved your finger in and out of her. “Look at me, Addie.” She opened her eyes lightly, heavy with desire. ‘So pretty, Addison. You’re so perfect for me.” You slid another finger in her, which was easy considering how wet she’d become.
“Y/N,” she moaned. “I’m gonna cum. Don’t stop,” she said. A few moments later, and she was coming undone on your hand. You were honored. How could you not be, having brought this much pleasure to such a perfect woman. She shook intensely. Her chest rising and falling quickly, as she tried to catch her breath. “That was…” she trailed off. “Thanks,” she said. “I’m not done with you, though. Lay down.”
You two laid down for a few moments, as Addison tried to regain her composure. Once she did, she was practically full energy as her hands found their way to your core. “Addie…” you moaned quietly.
“Yes, baby?” she asked, as she slid two fingers inside you.
“Oh, fuck. I’m not gonna last, Addie.”
“I know,” she replied, a smirk on her face as she worked her fingers in and out of you. She began to move her fingers inside you quickly, pressing against your g-spot over-and-over. She had you exactly how she wanted you to in mere seconds.
“Addison,” you warned between heavy breaths. “Addison, please. Addie… Addie, I’m gonna cum for you.”
“Come on, sweetheart. Cum for me. Be a good girl and cum for me,” her words sent you over the edge for the second time that night. When Addison pulled her fingers out of you, she laid next to you, the both of you tired out for the night. She wiped her fingers on a tissue, before helping you under the covers.
“Did you plan on that happening?” you asked her. At the beginning of the night, you hadn’t even considered having sex with Addison.
“Not really, but it is prom night, after all,” she said, pulling you into her arms. “Get some rest, sweetheart,” Addison said. She was warm, and being in her arms felt amazing. Your mind wanted to go a hundred miles a minute, thinking about everything that just happened. You told yourself you would think about it tomorrow, whenever you weren’t busy answering the questions from your friends. Sleep came first. Especially if Addison told you so.
#addison montgomery#addison montgomery x reader#addison montgomery x reader smut#greys anatomy#greys anatomy x reader#greys anatomy x reader smut#wlw#wlw smut#sapphic#x reader#god i love her soooo bad#shes so ofmihflskhklgjh
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another lyla doodle page? yep. I hope I am only known as the lyla artist to you all 🙏
if anyone wants 2 draw her little suit I designed I would literally owe you my LIFE 💪 speaking of which I gotta commission more folks 👀
#I love her SOOOO bad oh my god quirky girl characters destroy me#LYLA SUPREMACY 4EVA ‼️‼️‼️🦅🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸#fanart#art#my art#procreate#digital art#artists on tumblr#lyla#lyla fanart#spiderverse fanart#spidersona#miguel o'hara#spider man 2099#lyla spiderverse#spider man: across the spider verse#atsv#ummm what other tags can I cram in here for reach#spider gwen#miles morales#hobie brown#pavitr prabhakar
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hiiii lily what is this ‘orv’ i have been seeing…..
HIIII MIKE. SMILES. orv is Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint! it's a webnovel with an ongoing webtoon adaption and it is making me Fucking Crazy. basically the premise there's this really unpopular really long webnovel called Three Ways to Survive an Apocalypse, and for years, Kim Dokja has been the only reader. when the novel finally ends, the author sends him an email with the txt file of the whole novel, and then suddenly the novel is wiped from the internet and in that instant, the events of the novel begin taking place in Kim Dokja's world. the apocalypse begins and humanity is subjected to cruel scenarios and challenges livestreamed for the entertainment of these powerful entities called constellations, and as the only one who read the story to its end, Kim Dokja is the only one fully equipped with knowledge of how this story goes (or at least, how it originally went)
it is SO good. it lures you in like "ooh this is a normal reverse isekai" and then ends up being CRAZY. it deals with questions about the boundary between characters and Real People and whether that distinction really matters, and it's one of those stories that looks the audience dead in the eye and dares you to look away first. literary devices are made Real (oh fourth wall we're really in it now...) and it plays with narrative voice and pov and unreliable narration in such fun ways. it is ultimately about the value of stories and the value of being a reader and the choice to wrestle with the story that's been written for you in favor of the story you really want to tell. it's also about Kim Dokja having something Deeply Wrong With Him skdlfjlksdjf the journey i went on with him was "okay he's a reader insert who reads novels as escapism, i get it" -> "oh actually he has something wrong with him" -> "oh he has something Wrong With Him" -> "WHAT. WHAT THE FUCK. HELLO. WHAT WAS THAT." I'm obsessed with him.
I read the webtoon first which I think is a pretty effective onboarding point! some of the art had my jaw on the FLOOR it's so cool. the webtoon has adapted roughly the first third of the whole novel so far, and if you want to read the novel just dm me and I'll hit you up with the epub file lol (not just mike but anyone who is interested!)
#asks#puzzlehat#OOOOH YOU WANNA READ ORV SO BAD#i haven't finished it yet btw#according to my ebook app I'm 38% into it which is insane to think about#but YEAH it's so so so so so good so far#the story it's telling is so compelling and the pacing is like. incredibly solid. which is IMPRESSIVE for something this long#i want to gnaw on kim dokja like a dog.#other bonuses: really good supporting cast featuring a LOT of women which is a huge plus for me#soooo refreshing to see so many well written women. god. i love them so much#really interesting character arcs for the supporting cast alongside the main character(s)#im not sure who i'd label the main characters. kim dokja obviously? and the protagonist of the original novel (yoo joonghyuk)#i get the suspicion han sooyoung becomes more of a main character later but i haven't seen her in a while </3#another bonus is that in addition to like. telling a compelling story that is at times emotionally devastating#it's also REALLY funny at times#kdj SUCKS i love him so much <3 he loves being a pain in the ass#he understands blorbo aggression like no one else#kdj reading about yjh for years: this character is so important to me and has gotten me through some really tough times#kdj meeting yjh: i need to KICK HIS ASS!!!! i need to BOTHER HIM!!!!!!!!#anyway. this is a long answer but you should read orv <3 it is changing my life <3#if it helps i think orv has a special appeal for people who enjoy things like hlvrai and homestuck. do with that knowledge what you will.
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literally having the worst day ever and i cant ever be happy (has only experienced minor inconveniences today but they keep adding up)
#first of all i didnt get a lot of sleep so im mad tired#second of all the place i usually get lunch on campus said they werent doing bagels at the moment and it ruined me#cuz i was soooo excited to get bagels#third of all i was already cranky so i got all in my feels last night#so i had a dream where my gf who isnt my gf and saw each other on one fo the campuses and she was w her friends#at one point we were both leaving and iw as watcing her and her and her friend knew i was there#so then her friend comes over and shes like '[gf name] loves you so much'#and i was about to cry tears of joy i was like REALLY???#and then her friend started laughing and gestured to my gf who isn't my gf's OTHER friend behind me and she was like 'jk lol she meant#this friend not you el oh el'#and then my gf and her friends were all laughing at me and i burst into tears#and then in full on sobs i was like 'i loved you so much how could you leave me'#and then my gf was just like 'well youre a bad person and you think youre sooooo myseterious and youre a terrible person and i never loved#you' and oh my god it ruined my morning#i know a lot of it was just psychological cuz i was already moody when i went to bed#and i have this werid paranoia where i think her and her friends talk shit about me#which i doubt they do but it still stresses me out#so thats probably why that hapepned#and then on top of all that. fourth of all im getting lunch and i literally see her outside. like i dont see her for days and of course#the day i least want to see her shes right there#i mean im generally doing better than september and i didnt feel the same sinking feeling#i used to in like sept but still like brooooo bro this day could not be worseee#the only good thing that happened was that i passed my physics exam <3#also yeah again i said these are minor inconveniences im just frustrated lol#sunny rambles
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Can we just talk about Trunchbull and miss Honey from the Matilda movie musical I think we should discuss-
#the klock keeps ticking#matilda the musical#like i was always a stan in the movie and the musical DID NOT DISAPPOINT#god i loved the musical i watched it recently i had the time of my life trunchbull is soooo good#i want her so bad i want her to throw me like the axe#like that scene where shes running the pe and is doing the fucked up gauntlet i was like hnnghhh 😦#honestly like these two characters really are just the perfect representation of my taste in women akdjsm#they either gotta be kind and smart and going through it or they gotta be fat and chaotic and rip people apart and evil#also yeah ms honey is a lesbian icon and yeah she and the ms phelps librarian lady get married they told me themselves#they never interacted but i just know OKAY
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did you guys know that, well, the cruelty is the point
#i love this entire scene sooooo bad it's so delicious#flaunting the tadpole abilities and what he's capable of -- he's broken free of cazador somehow AND he can withstand the sun#and THEN once they leave. he attempts to manipulate tav in suuuuch a genuinely horrible way like#oh well of course i feel bad for them. i mean they're FORCED to do cazador's bidding. but no matter!#i'm fine sacrificing them for my own gain :) or rather... for OUR gain :)#this will keep both of us safe :) and... well... you want me to be safe right? :) you want me to be happy right? :)#this isnt him at his worst by any means but god it's soooo so good after how his act 2 arc is if youre romancing him#he's open and vulnerable and tells tav all about his plans and how he's been manipulating them this whole time#only to do it in a fun and new and interesting way all over again. but this time youre already 100% on his team#ANYWAY. i like when he's a bit fucking terrible#bg3#playing bg3#astarion#act 3 is really just a whole new beast to me at this point. how fun. i only got here once before and it was buggy and barely worked#sorry. i will be soooo deeply annoying as i rotate everyone in my head like little rotisserie chickens for the next few days#really thinking about how elluin is dealing with seeing this - she understands feeling like power will fix everything and keep her safe#but unlike astarion is capable of thinking long-term and about consequences#so this has her shaking in her fucking boots. and really has her grappling with the reality of their relationship#so until they actually get to the szarr palace and deal with the ritual... she's super withdrawn with astarion and even with the others#she wants him to be safe bc it means that she can realistically be safe since they're weird little mirrors for each other#but also. does safety exist without it becoming warped and horrifying#sorry. i will be normal again eventually
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YAY FINALLY MEETING THE WINGED LION!!!! maybe ill get some answers finally
i still dont know whats this guys deal except that hes like a patron of the dungeon? but aside from that hes a total mystery to me. well maybe ill learn more soon!!
also. giga quad head marcille happened. not sure what to do w this info tho
currently at chapter 60!! god i love itzusumi so much...... i love all of them...........
#dunmeshi spoilers#im having a BLAST rn this is so awesome#i also started taking screenshots of panels i think are neat or funny to look back at l8r :)#god. something about the way ryoko kui draws animals is soooo good.... i want to absorb her artstyle so fucking bad#SHES SO GOOD AT DRAWING ANIMALS AND MAKING THEM BELIVABLE AND EXPRESSIVE AND GROUNDED#THE WINGED LIONS EPRESSIONS ARE SOOOO GOOD. GOD#also i love this panel and the next two. the winged lion is just so dissapointed and underwhelmed its so fucking funny#they werent lying this lion IS kinda cunty. havent reached the point where he has abs yet tho(<-that happened right?? or am i wrong lol)#he showed up in laios' dream and basically went 'you need to get your shit TOGETHER and fullfil the PROPHECY' and laios is just. so confuse
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“i need me a star. I need me a kate martin.”
GAAAWWWDDDD, PLSSSSSSS ME TOO. HOLY FUUUCK.
#god i love kate martin#she’s jus soooo#tumblrpost#writers on tumblr#rimunagenius speaks#biting the metal bars of my enclosure#like rn#i need her rn#i need her so bad
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while the only redeeming quality of love god really is the stan joke, it does emphasize how bad mabel is at matchmaking and also how much romance sucks actually
#the end to it still feels weird!!! and going 'oh but actually its all ok!!!' in supplementary materials doesn't make it feel any better!!!!#altho hilariously that means the snadger are soulmates all along#....ok 2 there are 2 redeemable things about that ep cos it gave ford that other hilarious mabel drawing in tots#anyway robbie's actual issue is that he was a terrible boyfriend!!! and didn't respect wendy at all!!!!#he let his insecurities get in that way and he constantly felt threatened by a kid!!!! rebounding off someone else fixes none of this!!!!!#also i have soooo much beef with the northwest ep especially cos of the mabel b plot#she and her friends deserve better than this???? romance in this show sucks!!!!!!#like the a plot isnt inherently bad but what it ended up sprouting into annoys me!!!!#(also the mood of 'dipper shouldve just gotten mabel and the girls out and ran lol')#(the ep needing the 4 of them to get attacked otherwise a lot of folks wouldnt give a shit about the ghost)#anyway another reason why bill sucks is cos he ended up undoing preston's face that coward#too bad those eps are necessary just so robbie and paz are on friendlier terms with the pines#(but meanwhile a wendy ep is too much to ask for :////)#also thinking about how mabel's love crazy phase is relatively new....#one day she'll get better taste in ships#i wonder how much the disney censors were shaking at the wompers joke#cos part of them being like 'NOOOOO THATS TWO GUYS' but also like. thats a pig duct taped to a goat.#they were probably pissed at mabel having a pride sweater on tho#roadside attraction was poorly timed and having it be all about being pickup artistry kinda sucks#but its still way better than love god lol at least we have dipper and stan bonding moments and candy got a hero moment#also stan no longer being sensitive about his brand
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Just now realized I've never introduced y'all to my BATIM/BATDR OC and that's so devastating to me. She's literally my pride and joy
#my beautiful daughter that I created in 2017 when i was a wee lass#I've dedicated YEARS into creating her backstory.....like she's my life's work and i am her mad scientist creator#i love my daughter! 🥰 (putting her through the horrors with no happy ending /srs)#god i wanna post about her soooo bad i need to redesign her for the quantillionth time#i technically have three ocs but two of them are the same girl. the other is a horrid beast that haunts her 👍#there's so much to unpack. omg#i NEEEEEED to post about her but SHE'S SO COMPLICATED AUUGGGGGGGGH#every like three years i hyperfixate on her...and guess what time it is ....#i also wanna do more research because she is a WOC and I don't wanna post any misinformation about her being a black woman in the 1940s#so i wanna do as much research before i write about her; i don't wanna be ignorant#BEATRICEEEEEE I MISS YOU MY BEAUTIFUL GIRL ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️#she seriously means so much to me she's like my oldest oc of all time#<- oldest OC i still use anyway#SORRY BATIM is my special interest and it is INTERESTING right meow
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if i might bitch about work for a second: yesterday was hellishly bad despite being able to keep up with it and i found out that apparently our department made 4600 dollars yesterday which is making me angry beyond belieffffffff
#this is math i do fairly often bc i enjoy ho-hum math and hate my job and like#even if we took off 2000 bucks for overhead costs which feels excessive but i will concede it#that would be enough to pay everyone working a little over 860 dollars which is 300 more than what i make in a WEEK#literally WHEREEEEE IS IT WHERE IS IT GOING WHERE IS IT#i dont like following this logic through because on days where there are fewer orders we;d do less#and i disagree with gig work's implementation as ive seen it and i think that would stress people out worse than we already are#(which is significantly)#but at the same time. 850 dollars. i cant afford to buy groceries this week. 850 dollars...#can i get a BONUS or SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it makes me soooo angry i was talking to one of the deli guys who asked for a raise and got denied mid-question#before our director accidentally showed him that their department is four thousand of gods own dollars under labor#its so revolting to me i talk to so many people in this store who are terrified because of medical bills or rent or car shit#half my department works two jobs just to get by and ALL OF THEM drive junkers#honestly one of the things thats scaring me about if i actually move out is that i do rely on...living with my mom#i pay for most of my own food i pay an absurd amount of rent to share a room with her but she's willing to drive me to work#even though i've offered to walk multiple times and she REALLY should prioritize her own time more#but at the same time...not having to pay for rides has been carrying me hard#if i got a car i'd be fucked because those things bleed money and generally ethically i disagree with cars#but if i dont its like okay pony up the money learn to navigate buses (except for sunday when they dont run) or get ready#to walk to your job where you walk all day and then walk home in the dark#which. i love walking. and listening to music on my own while walking. so bad example. but i also love not having my feet hurt#all the time always no matter what im doing which is something im becoming increasingly unfamiliar with#its like. ultimately. something's gonna get fucked no matter what#and then i hear a figure like 4600 and i remember how avoidable all of this shit is. how avoidable it is for ANY of us#our ceo is gonna walk away from this merger attempt with 5 billion dollars in safety-cushion money#the 10 top execs beneath him with 1 billion#and its just so. what can you even do. 5 billion. can a number like that even mean anything? how could you possibly need that much#850 dollars would be a lifechanging amount of money for me right now and im not even one of the worst off#its just. god. this world could be anything but what it is but its this and for what
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Genuinely how Hoshie is written in Atom: The Beginning is so infinitely frustrating. She's a character that really barely appears in the original series and had no backstory other than her role as Umatarō's wife and Tobio/Atom's mother, and I was so excited to learn she was in ATB. Or was until I actually read it. In ATB, she's very largely only there to appear a few times as his love interest and has really no reasoning FOR feeling that way nor any character traits outside of that. I'm still before the time skip chapter wise (and have some hope she will get more development after that time skip), but to ME to take a character that is that underdeveloped and you have an opportunity to really add a lot in there and don't? It sucks. It focuses so much more on the other characters that really do not have as much importance in the long run of the series (mostly original characters) and a lot of how the women are handled in ATB can be really rough a lot of the time (Ran as the exception, she's great, but it feels a lot of them are just there to be sexy set pieces. The way that they hyper sexualized Pink's traditional Vietnamese outfit is one of the worse examples of this (as you could write off the "sexy robot girls from Lab 1" thing as criticism of it, but in that case there really isn't much excuse to bring in) and while I'm glad it's not as prominent w Hoshie (because they quite literally draw her as a child and then have her show up later having gone through puberty, so thankfully they didn't get bad with it), it is still so bad. Like why do we have this character that is instrumental to the source material (as he said he based ATB as a sequel to Chronicles of Atom, where she is very important for that one volume and for Atom as a character after he is sold to the circus) and very not developed and all that is done w her is on par with how Naruto tried to develop romantic relationships (girl is in one sided love with the male protagonist and barely appears). You could have done so much, and so much that could have really helped develop the relationship in the future and helped flesh her out as her own characters with her own interests. She had a personality in the original and here, it is just being blushy and fawning over the protagonist and it is genuinely kind of insufferable.
#tzkposting#technically i suppose#twist rambles#the age gap shit is really rough here too but im just. god im so mad at the writing of her esp w how she like. never appears minus maybe 3-4#times in 100 chapters???#sorry. i woke up and got mad over hoshie again bc its genuinely been the worst part of this minus well. how the crossdressing is handled#which is also pretty rough imo#like. i say all of this out of love 4 the series bc i DO really enjoy it but good god. as a hoshie fan this is not fun to read lol#posts w quite literally 0 target audience but well. i needed to discuss it bc it is genuinely just rly bad a lot of the time#like the angle of oh its immature infatuation and shes idealized the perfect guy in her head even if it doesnt match up 2 him irl + the lack#of interest in her from him all could be used to rly kind of make the relationship set up to be more interesting and yet. lol. i rly hope#post time skip it gets better but honestly i kind of doubt it. i feel Naru.to is an apt comparison for her as a guy who has read a bit of#b.oruto. like god. i hate it here bc atb is soooo so good minus this. and this is there. and it sucks.
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"i need to see a man about a dog" shes sooo funny
#hello my name is theta sigma and i lie for fun and profit and sometimes just because!#i dont know what youre talking about.#shes not even tryingggggg#lying#just lying#to her face#all the time#i would be pulling my hair out too if i were yaz#like honestly the disrespect#they shouldve kept that yaz line in in potd where shes like give me the respect of telling me the truth#bc thats really it#she doesnt care if shes unconvincing she just cares abt not being questioned abt it too much#Insufferable#i love her so much#and Immediately leveraging her power too when yaz calls her out on it like Oh My God babygIRL#things wrong with her#at least it's a fucking hysterical lie do you think she came up with that literally on the spot and then went oh huh nice one#or is that a phrase that started bouncing around in her head the moment she learnt abt karvanista and his species and she was just waiting#for an opportunity#'too bad this is a baldfaced lie bc if you got the joke i just made yaz you'd think it was soooo funny'#13 later when yaz doesnt find it so funny: :/
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The way I had every intention to be productive this weekend and did none of it bc I know I’m in for some shit the minute I walk into that stupid office
#I finished the t-shirt design for HR lady right and she came in twice about it (could’ve been an email truly)#then when she DID said an email she just forgot that we fully did discuss putting the gross 75th anni. Logo on it#so her email was just that#and I did forget to respond to the email- like I skimmed it and then went ‘we talked about this’ but I’m not allowed to be a smart ass over#email anymore because when sales reps were being especially rude and disrespectful to my coworker and I#I’d waste no time to put them in their place#it took two fucking years of complaining for them to not treat us like shit and to give us deadline that aren’t same day/next day#like two years of me forcing my bosses hand to actually stand up for us for him to tell them to back off#I stopped dealing with it#my coworker does now bc I can’t be bothered to argue with assholes anymore#anyway yeah I- I truly do not check my email often so by the time EOD rolled around I wasn’t checking#but I know HR lady will be in my inbox bright and early :/#but on the bright side I’ll have the art room to myself Monday+Tuesday bc my coworker is leaving~~~~~#so I’m gonna try and be productive Monday so I can rest and relax at my desk Tuesday#then pretend I’ve been productive when I meet with my gross awful boss Wednesday morning#ugh#I need a new job bad#I hate this one#it’s fine but god is it boring and not creative at all#I love graphic design I do I really do but when it’s just sign making with pre-made templates it’s soooo fucking boring#So this weekend I just got high and yesterday a lil tipsy to feel a lil crossfade#I truly haven’t done shit bc if I think about Monday I’ll scream#personal
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#personal#bless my supervisor really#after lunch i'm half dead bored as shit trying not to fall asleep in my desk and she's like hey you and White Guy™ should work on this thing#i am soooo bad at playing it cool truly. the rumors are true i stopped aging after 19#but hey we spent 30 minutes at my desk and i did all my daily quota of looking#god. he's just. i just love hearing him talk. id rank his voice in the top ten things about him#i was just SPOILED today#he gets there early everyday so wheneve i come in he's preparing his breakfast in the kitchen. singing to himself and stuff#he literally had me sighing out loud as i walked to my bus stop#this is sabotage really because ive been on the cute girl grind as of late#last friday she was wearing this shirt with holes in the shoulders and the amount of skin i could see.....#i understand how the victorians felt basically#she's such a girlfailure...... and god she's so pretty#couldn't stop staring at the shape of her waist in the dress she wore today#she's so easy to talk to too. and perceptive and very thoughtful#okay i think that's enough#i hope you guys know that i'm holding myself back from rambling about every daily thing like this is middle school#i got it real bad#if you are on my mind all night and day blame it on mu youth..........
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i need to talk about the dess raises kris au. or im gonna explode.
#chatter#GOOD TIMING TO THINK ABOUT AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT STORY: EDITING UR TOH DAEMON AU LOL#like i can separate it out enough when im working lol but afterwards. oh its all deltarune babey!!!#been thinking a lot about dess and how i wanna write her#(aka im gonna canonize some mental stuff i've always kinda had in the back of my mind for her)#and GOD. dess. i forgive her for all her flaws <3#but no shes sooooo fascinating to me in this au its just. she was Eighteen. right in the middle of a pretty bad psychotic break.#the only person ever in her corner (asriel) Did Not Believe her and has always been real shitty about her undiagnosed mental illnesses#(dw we will come back to this i have a LOT of ideas for azzy lol he is. uh. not the best at the start!)#and so like. of course when it comes to kris her best was never going to be enough.#but GOD im soooo fascinated by like. she does genuinely really truly care for kris.#yes its messy and caught up in a bunch of other things but she LOVES THEM#even if she cannot ever love them in the way they want her to (ie as a parent loves a child)#and is it fair for kris? no! course it isnt!!!#but theres no changing the past and so. this is kris's life now#and its dess's life now. and they just have to live with what happened#thinking about the like. 6 months to a year where it was just dess and kris (before chara) and. god.#GOD. YOU GUYS.#sorry this au is. um. i think it is my everything. like.#if you know you know (hi stars lol <3) but. man.........man.#i have a lot of thoughts about. prophecy. and when translating that out beyond just story and into like. the real world#cause lets be real prophecy doesnt exist but things w this power of 'you are supposed to be x and cannot be anything but x' DO and#god. the dess raises kris au is So Much.#also yeah another acacia tags essay they simply hit differently <3#also enough to go into the main tag so#drkau#anyways lemme go back to editing lol
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