#god i love cacio e pepe

[conclaveyaoi]

aldo: thomas are we rolling?

[randomnameless]

If we ever get Genealogy remakes (fingers crossed), are there any things you would like the remake to do differently from the original?

Based on your profile pic, I figured you might appreciate a Judgral ask

You can always send me jugdral asks anon ! Party!Julia's from 2014 iirc, when I fell in Jugdral hell and she remained there since then.

As for different things from Fe4...

Well, add more convos between characters, like support convos especially with characters who "are/became" married !

And maybe... Make fire tomes not so damn heavy to the point they're not garbage anymore, ditto with giving one or two more point of weight to wind tomes, jugdral really needs some balancing (but it shouldn't balance the general unfairness that is HB and the associated HW).

Oh, and of course, correct Hilda's major Dain blood lol, and give the ish sibs minor Fala blood (but still nothing for scipio he'll forever remain a joke !).

As for the plot...

It's opening another can, rather, super container of worms anon !

In a nutshell, give more plot importance to Julia so she's not in her own tier anymore, maybe have Tine not join if Arthur is the one who killed Ishtore (give him more relevance damn, Tine is supposed to like/love her cousins but dgaf, after crying for his death for 3 seconds, when the LA wants to recruit her ?), kinslaying being so vile in Jugdral verse, Johan/lva doesn't die when the other is picked up, let's have them maybe be a green unit sometimes met in a castle, or have him lead off screen armies (like they're sent to meet with Leif before Seliph officially rescues him in Fe4) etc...

Oh and unless it's a pure Fe4 remake, incluses elements from Fe5 (with Fe5 remake proper being another game), like the feud between Galzus and Shanan (resolve it ffs, let us have the reason why Shanan's dad slaughtered one of his sisters and threw his nephew in exile, but didn't want the same fate for his other sister), Faerghus shenanigans and, of course, Saias stuff (him joining Julius' side and picking Valflame in the last map, only being recruitable by Julia).

Edit bcs I forgot :

Give Julia the Lord status, aka when she dies it's game over because she's the only one who can use Naga to defeat Loptyr !

For all of the narrative integration in its gameplay, Fe4 really dropped the Ball with having Seliph and pals be able to defeat Julius once he's fully Loptyr'd

[utilitycaster]

Didn't get a chance to update my progress last night before CR started but. many things have happened:

Did Davrin's companion quest. I must say. Davrin is a fucking INTENSE person. He wants to talk all the time back at the lighthouse. He uses the most wild hunting metaphors. He is single-minded and arrogant. It is a vibe and he is fun to talk to but he is So Much (I say, known Paladin enjoyer). I also need to level him and the other new companions up more (I am NOT playing favorites even though I have them) but the thing is also, I play a warrior so I was doing pretty good with my initial crew of rogues and mages. The quest was great though, Assan is adorable and I did like learning about Davrin's past (which he's really forthcoming about). You get the sense this man hasn't had anyone to talk to in a while but unlike Neve or Lucanis he's like "and I'm going to do so IN ABUNDANCE." (Bellara and Harding and Emmrich seem to have had more people to talk to; Lucanis would have but for the year in the Ossuary; hard to read Taash).

I have picked up Emmrich! there was a weird crossroads thing where I could eavesdrop on the elven gods whose names I can't spell reliably due to the apostrophes. I love the crossroads by the way. I am trying to balance out my impatience with doing quests (including sidequests) and hanging out at the lighthouse watching Lucanis explain cacio e pepe to Bellara (real thing that happens and it's glorious; it's a way for you to also catch that Lucanis is buying nice coffee for when Neve comes back, pardon me while I lie face down on the floor) with the fact that I would LOVE to explore things forever with the fact that I can't read a fucking map apparently. ANYWAY brought Bellara there and she and Emmrich are pen pals, so this was fun. I fucking love the Necropolis, which is good because I do play a Mourn Watcher and it would be weird if I didn't, but I must admit Emmrich's recruitment quest is like "kill six billion demons while I do a ritual for a bell" and it's like professor you must be shitting me. Then again I play a Mourn Watch warrior (I have heard this is weird within canon lore, to which I say fuck you I'm a cavalier, also clearly SOMEONE needs to kill venatori and ferry around wisps and slay demons and these mages sure aren't doing it, AND the reaper specialty fucks hard AND I get to say goth things that Neve and Emmrich like and Myrna needs SOME boots on the ground to boss around, so there) so it would be kind of weird if I hated it. Anyway Emmrich is great.

Harding is like, a sleeper character; I like her a lot but as a person with no emotional attachment to Inquisition I'm more drawn to the other three starter companions, and she's solid in combat but not flashy for the most part. However I perked the fuck up when she said she felt sorry for Solas and thinks he's deeply lonely; that was a banger conversation and I do think loneliness and not knowing where you fit into the world is very much a theme of this story.

Neve sent a letter saying Rana, Elek (Threads paper seller) and Hal (street fish merchant) were alive but she needs to stay there. This is honestly the best news; if Hal had died I would have never forgiven myself.

Went to do one Mourn Watch quest and was immediately given two more Myrna is my boss and she's like I know we sent you away for "going against the nobility" even though it was "baller" but now that you have a reason to be back temporarily, please do 3 quests now. And I did, and it was pretty great, although the wisp-ferrying stresses me the fuck out.

Decided that before I seek out the trillion other sidequests that suddenly popped up I should grab Taash, because i kept getting "Tab" pop-ups because I have my game on "I don't know what the fuck I am doing mode" to light Necropolis braziers and then they were like "haha no one can do this, Rook, you dumb bitch". There's also Gaatlok somewhere in Minrathous that I couldn't do shit with. So I did that. Taash fucking rules. I was expecting to not necessarily like them not because of their vibes, but because in real life when I encounter 23 year olds I'm like you're baby. And they are, sort of, baby, but they're also hilarious and blunt and a lot of fun. The surliness towards their mom is great; the fire breathing rules; I finally understand the Antaam's deal. I will say I need to go back to the Appearance Mirror because I picked up a really sick shield that does NOT go with my aesthetic. I respect you slutty pirates, but I am a goth. This also ngl makes me wonder what I would do on a replay because Lords of Fortune are not my personal vibe, though Isabela seems great. Probably Veil Jumper honestly. or a mage crow, which would also probably not work with the lore? really my issue is I love the shadow dragons and also probably will always save Treviso so I can never play it because I am if nothing else loyal. Point being, Taash is here and I'm excited.

Neve is back and she's colder than ever towards me! I don't care, she's back and I re-statted her, time to take her out into the field and destroy shit. This does mean I will probably need to, for the first time, make Lucanis heal me. I don't usually need much healing because Story Mode but I'm very slowly learning combat and one day perhaps might inch up to a higher combat level and then I will. Also the champion fights and the dragon fights. I'm just really terrible at avoiding AOE. Also maybe I'll finally use her time slow stuff. I haven't been doing much with the buff abilities because I am a melee/tank/shield-throwing beast but Davrin's taunts were actually very useful.

I have so many side quests and also some main quests so I have no idea what to do. Might check out Morrigan in fallen Minrathous; might do the veil jumpers quests though. There's also some quest in Treviso I haven't pursued and something I picked up in Taash's room. Everyone's back so might as well!

I haven't been talking a ton about all the little codex bits but they are great, and specifically it is important you know that the first book club occurs AFTER everyone is recruited, which is to say, Taash, Davrin, and Lucanis do not attend for whatever reason but Neve, who is grieving and angry, does. This is hilarious.

Manfred and I are tied 1-1 on Rock Paper Scissors; I have been petting Assan every time I go check on the unhinged pantry conversations or go talk to Davrin.

[didsomeonesaygo]

Quando a Roma...

Finalmente, siamo in Italia! 🇮🇹 Early morning out of LAX with a stop in Montreal. Got to Rome about 10 am, at which time any Italian I had went straight out the window. Luckily, people weren't joking when they said everyone speaks English - even if I try Italian, they answer me in English. But that's molto bene with P. Our driver Pietro took us to the U Visionary - we were early, so they held our bags and we headed out!

The hotel is right around the corner from the Trevi Fountain, so we decided to start there. Everyone had said this is not high season, but it IS a Jubiliee (Giuboleo) year, so the city is busy. That was... true. The whole time, we kept saying we couldn't imagine what the high season would be like - P's eye might not agree, but it felt like we dodged a bullet not going in August. So we went to the fountain, but couldn't get anywhere near close enough to throw a coin in - figured we'd try again later, and just started walking.

Rome feels like San Francisco, only more so. (Yes, I know that's backwards.) Tiny winding streets and great architecture, and with the fountains, statues, and churches e-ve-ry-where, there is something beautiful no matter where you turn. But the craziest thing is the ruins right in the middle of the city. So you walk down a major road, and suddenly there are 2000 year-old ruins RIGHT THERE. And oh, yeah, that's the Colosseum in the background, nbd. (Fun fact: they've been working on a new metro line for 20 years, but keep having to stop for archeological digs.)

We roamed around looking at ruins for a bit, and then wound our way toward the Chiesa di sant'ignazio in Campo, which was recommended by the hotel desk clerk. There's a mirror you look into to see the full ceiling, but there was (surprise!) a long line, so we checked it out old school and lit candles for Sweet Pea, Aunt Judy, and Uncle Kevin. (I'm a heathen, but I love the churches - Mere said Daddy did too, and she eventually started waiting outside for him because they're all beautiful, but they all start to look alike. Shh - don't give P any ideas.)

Then on to the Pantheon, which was originally a Roman temple (pan = all, theo = gods),. but is now, you guessed it, a Catholic church. (It turns out the church adoptappropriated a lot of ancient structures - shocking, I know.) But this is the only one with has a 9-meter oculus (~36 feet!) - the better to talk to (the) god(s). Apparently when there is light rain, the oculus creates a warm updraft like a chimney, and the rain becomes mist before ever reaching the floor, but there is still a sloped floor and drains, just in case. (The Romans were good at drains.)

Then we figured our room would be ready, so we headed back to the hotel (Trevi Fountain even busier) to change and figure out dinner. We had a couple of recs from the hotel, but we think every hotel must have recommended the same places to every guest, because the lines were ridiculous - so we romed around until we found something open. We eat way too early by Italian standards; a lot of the places on our go-to review site don't even open until 7:30, but jet lag + we are old = ain't nobody waiting 'til 7:30 for dinner. We finally got lucky with the patio at Il Falchetto, a little place at the end of an alley (alleys are my jam), where we had great wine, ravioli, and cacio e pepe. (In Italy, I can eat butter noodles without getting grief about it, and I intend to take full advantage.) Got gelati on the way home, at one of approximately 1000 gelaterias within a mile of the hotel - I had strachiatella, and P had the best pistachio ever. Considering we didn't even hit town until 11 am, we did pretty well!

[sunbeam-baking]

Cacio e Pepe sourdough mini-boule

Sometimes when the world feels too painful and hateful I remember my great grandma and bake. Food is love. Bread is love. My dinner table is an extension of the communion table, especially on the days where God's love feels absent.

Baking is fighting to bring God's love back into this world. Food is love. Bread is love. Baking is an act of faith, that somehow our ordinary moments might be infused with love, community and joy. That God is still working and loving and present.

Cacio e pepe sourdough

150g of starter

300 g water

25 g olive oil (or preferred oil)

10 g salt

500 g bread flour

1 cup Parmesan

2tb of cubed butter

Black cracked pepper

Mix, 4 rounds of stretch and folds over 2 hrs. Bulk ferment for ~6 hrs, laminate with parmesan pepper and butter, shape, proof for 2 hrs, open bake at 500f for 15 minutes, 400 for 20 (or bake in preheated Dutch oven covered at 400 for 20 minutes uncovered for 15 or until golden)

[cdyssey]

Blueberry Pie

Summary: Melissa brings Barbara a blueberry pie as an apology. [Post-1.02] | CW: Emotional Infidelity

AO3 Link

Barbara is already in the teacher’s lounge when Melissa arrives, standing by the kitchen counter, swirling her stupidly sweet coffee with a plastic spoon. It’s just her, no one else quite yet, and Melissa allows herself to be greedy, etching the uncomplicated moment in her mind like it’s something more than it actually is.

Like it’s a painting, and all of its thousands of brushstrokes are divinely inspired by God.

Barbara Howard, the radiant subject, in early morning sunlight, suffused in its heavenly glow. Dark hair elegantly swept to the side, her beloved pearls flush against the graceful column of her neck. Light and shadow in beautiful opposition to each other. A study in different values.

Chiaroscuro.

She’s gone for warm-tones today with a calico-print shirt that rides beautifully over her hips but also, too, with the golden hoops that delicately dangle from her ears. Amaranth lips. Dusk colored eyes. A flash of white as she smiles at Melissa with all of her shining teeth.

The second-grade teacher involuntarily shivers. If there currently wasn’t a record breaking heat wave in Philadelphia, she might have had the grounds to blame the February cold. 

“You didn’t,” the kindergarten teacher scolds by way of greeting, gesturing at the Tupperware caught between Melissa’s hands. 

“Did what?” She grins innocently, closing some of the space—the unbearable gap—between them. She sets her heavy bag on their roundtable, places the plastic container there too. Her last name is scrawled across the top in faded Sharpie. 

“A blueberry pie?” Barbara arches an immaculate brow. “My birthday is next month, I know you very well know.”

“Oh, pfft,” she rolls her eyes like she's perfectly unbothered. She crosses her arms over her chest. She shrugs. Her cheeks still feel a little too rosy for comfort anyway. “Can’t a gal make her coworker her favorite pie for no good reason?” 

“Absolutely not,” the other woman just as immediately counters, emphatically shaking her head. “Or, more accurately, ‘for no good reason’ is far from an acceptable excuse when I know for a fact you had plans with your family last night. Girlfriend, when did you have time to do this? More to the point, why did you find time to do this?”

Leave it to Barbara to turn a simple gesture of kindness into a pointed interrogation of motivation and minutiae. Melissa knows she’s bad about accepting the generosity of others, but at least she’s not the older woman three feet away, unable to receive a gift without extensively litigating whether she deserves it. It’s a degree of reflexive self-denial that her friend would be the first to call Christian and Melissa secretly thinks is pretty damn self-loathing. 

“It’s an apology,” she grunts, undeterred. At the same time, not entirely good at this whole vulnerability thing, she briefly glances away, scratching the side of her nose: “I threw you smack dab into the wall yesterday over a lousy branzino.”

When she finally works up the guts to look at the older woman again, Barbara’s eyes have incrementally softened, the crow’s feet around them gently flexing their tensed toes. Melissa hates that—being so thoroughly seen, canvassed, and understood by another.

She kinda freakin' loves it too.

“I’m sure it would have been a remarkable dish,” Barbara offers kindly before chuckling a little.

“… more, well, fortuitous circumstances permitting.”

Which is a polite way of saying that yesterday was a total clusterfuck without actually saying that yesterday was a total clusterfuck. Her fish wasn’t the only casualty of poor Janine trying to make the school a better place.

“Oh, it would’a kicked ass,” Melissa agrees, smirking at her friend’s trademark discretion and simultaneously basking in the stunning lack of her own. “Blown Annette’s stupid cacio e pepe outta the water.”

“I know you certainly achieved your goal of looking cuter than her, though.”

“Damn straight I did! I was a flippin’ smoke show.”

“Naturally,” Barbara hums in a low voice. It's sensual. It's just for fun. Barbara is only a friend. Melissa's stomach still does a little flip anyway.

"Thanks, kitten," she quips in the same affected tone.

And they both heartily laugh then, giggle even. Of course they do—flirting is one of their favorite ways of showing their love—and Melissa knows that all is forgiven by the way that Barbara’s dimples twitch at the corners of her beautifully shaped mouth. 

There’s a small part of her that thinks that maybe she's getting off a little too easily, that forgiveness is something she shouldn’t be so freely gifted as reckless as she was, as inconsiderate and as rude. But she supposes that’s the Christian talkin’ in her too, or hell, more specifically still, that good, 'ole Catholic guilt of never feeling like she’s good enough—always one confession shy of any kind of meaningful absolution.

She shrugs the itchiness away, though—plays it off like it hasn't gotten under her skin.

She laughs and Barbara does too, and in doing so, give each other permission to get on with their lives. They have traditions to uphold, sixteen-year long habits that have long been encoded into their systems.

Melissa slumps into her favorite chair, her body partially angled towards the open door, while Barbara fixes another coffee—black, just the way the second-grade teacher likes it—and brings both mugs to the altar of their shared table. She assumes her own seat with more delicacy in the motion than Melissa contains in her pinky finger, ankles crossed, posture unimpeachable. Melissa turns the break room television on and clicks the remote a couple of times until she finds the Action News channel. That annoying commercial for the local Toyota dealership is currently on, the one with a father and son duo clearly reading from a corny-ass script on a teleprompter. She grunts impatiently at the inconvenience, and Barbara snickers because she does. 

They accidentally brush legs as they’re both shifting around, and they mutually pretend not to notice.

(Melissa’s running theory is that if they pretend not to notice, then continuing to do it remains innocent.)

(Permissible even.)

“You really shouldn’t have, you big, ‘ole teddy bear,” Barbara tries again, though she directly undermines herself by drawing the Tupperware to her and unlatching the lid to clearly get a better look. It’s an extraordinarily easy pie to make: cream cheese, powdered sugar, and whipped cream all mixed together, a fresh blueberry topping and a baked graham cracker crust. Chill overnight. Serve cold. It was no skin off Melissa’s back at all, and it’s always worth it for this very moment, for the treat of seeing her best friend’s entire face light up in unadulterated pleasure.

“You should have spent the time and necessary resources upstaging your cousin.”

“Bah,” she snorts, playfully batting Barbara on the arm. “I got plenty of time for that. I just wanted t’do something nice for you, ya stubborn gagootz.”

She lets the rather schmaltzy note linger—far longer than she usually would—only realizing that her friend is blushing when she turns a little and the sunlight slanting through the blinds glints off her darkened cheeks, transforming her entire physiognomy into something angelic, which is to say transcendent and holy.

Melissa swallows thickly.

“Now, uh, quit your bellyaching and enjoy some of your pie,” she adds gruffly, reaching into the basket on the center of their table and grabbing a plastic fork that she all but lobs at Barbara.

The older woman laughs incredulously as she stops the utensil from skidding off the table just in the nick of time. “At”—she glances at her silvery wristwatch—”seven o’clock in the morning? Are you out of your mind, girlfriend?”

“My old noggin’s perfectly intact thank you very much,” she huffs, retrieving a fork for herself. “I just know life’s about indulging in the simple pleasures every once in a while.”

Crackin' open a cold beer after a long day at work.

Staring at her married coworker from a distance that won’t get her in trouble with Gerald Howard and God.

Thinking she’s all beautiful, gilded in shining sun.

Accidentally brushing shoulders.

Thighs. Ankles. Knobbly, arthritic knees.

Eating pie for breakfast, which is to say, having her own cake and somehow being lucky enough to eat it too. Some days, just being in Barbara Howard’s presence is enough. And other days, getting to share these precious moments with her makes Melissa feel like she’s cheated the dealer and won the lion’s share of his gold.

“Our blood sugars are going to rocket sky high,” Barbara says doubtfully, though she’s eyeing the dessert appreciatively—with clear lust in her eyes. Her indiscriminate sweet tooth is one of her only weaknesses. 

Melissa knows because she frequently and giddily exploits it. 

“Eh, that’s future youse’s problem,” she shrugs happily. 

“And present Barbara’s guilty delight, I suppose?” The kindergarten teacher sighs. There’s resignation in the gesture, a tender fondness that only has but one other name. “Consequences be damned, forgiven, and forgotten?”

“Yup,” she grins crookedly. “That’s the spirit, Barb.”

“Mm. You’re an entire mess-and-a-half, Melissa Schemmenti—you know that, right?” Barbara asks, finally planting her fork in the middle of her container.

(Sweet surrender.)

“Can’t argue with that,” she jokes, staking her own claim in the pie too. 

(Simple indulgence.)

“But, hey,” she adds, “it’s on you for still lovin’ my fine tush anyway.”

The sides of their hands accidentally touch as they each carve into the pie, pinkies perfectly aligned. This, too, is innocent. It’s nothing, Melissa convinces herself as she viscerally shudders, as Barbara instantly recoils, withdrawing her hand, taking a huge chunk of the dessert with it. She stops just short of bringing it to her mouth, though, staring at Melissa from the depths of dark, inscrutable eyes.

“Another guilty delight of mine,” she says quietly. It almost sounds like an aching admission on Barbara’s elegant tongue, as though the love between them is not as perfectly above the table as they tell themselves, as though all the leg brushing and every fleeting touch besides aggregates to something larger than their component parts.

Something sinful.

Something beautiful.

It’s funny how the two often end up being one and the same.

“Lovin’ my big ass?” Melissa asks, even though she knows that’s not exactly what Barbara is talking about. They always talk about the important things in the esoteric language of a joke, a game, a bantering exchange that they can absolutely take back. 

(The ring on Barbara’s fourth finger perpetually requires that they take it back.)

“Crude,” Barbara laughs, the sound taut, like a rubber band that’s been stretched too thin, just begging to snap. “But something like that anyway.”

[ninacarstairss]

first of all, happy new year nero!!! i missed you so much too!!! i noticed that you’ve been off and on too, adult life is getting really exhausting huh?

oh god, your friends are okay then?? honestly it was pretty scary back then, i remember the day at versailles as a mix of every emotion and minor panic attacks. but despite it all, the holiday was really a great one. didneyland was so perfect it basically wiped out everything else 😂 nero, whenever you get a chance, please go to a disneyland!!! i actually think the japan one is one of the most amazing parks because they have so many more attractions, the whole park is like double the size of the paris one. i’m very jealous about that. but still you should really go sometime, it is beyond magic!!! my favorite ride was the tea cups from alice in wonderland, you could spin them around as you wanted and it was just fun to do. but also it’s a small world, i know the song by heart basically and i remembered the ride from when i was there years before but it’s always sooo good!!! and the pirates ride!!! there is a whole side of the park that is pirate themed and it has captain hook’s ship too, and there is this ride that’s almost completely in the dark and in the water so you get sprayed a little too, it’s just really fun!!

okay i’m done now, i swear 😂 can you tell i loved it and i want to go back already?? anyways here is the plushie and then i’m officially done talking about this 😂 it’s not a great pic but i’m outside the house and it’s the only one i could find :,)

yeah i died a little too 😂 it was amazing, i felt like i was walking in their footsteps 🥺 and yes, this friend i went with really helped a lot with the stressful, unplanned parts of the trip, and we have the same child-like wonder of things so disneyland felt even more magic with her! and i did get a tattoo!!! i got rapunzel’s lanterns because that scene has always made me cry and it was in the evening show at disneyland the day we were there and it was beautiful!! so yeah, i have a piece of that day on me now <3

aww thanks nero!!! i love that one so much too!!! it’s one of my absolute favorites. it’s just really perfect and i love that i chose a place where i can see it without having to bend in weird ways because that’s something i need to have in front of my eyes, it’s like a soft reminder that makes me smile. does it even make sense??

OH MY GOD NEXT MONTH???? NERO THAT IS SO CLOSE HOW IS IT ALREADY HAPPENING??? IM SO HAPPY!!!! please keep me updated on england and uni and everything!!! i miss being abroad, i need to relive it through you lol :))) well the working a lot part isn’t great but i get that it’s necessary, and working holidays pays really well so that’s definitely good. but i’m really glad you’re taking a few weeks off now!!!! you deserve some time off, it was about time!! also, you’re definitely gonna need this time to prepare for the exchange and to just rest. and a good night’s sleep would be perfect 😂

UHHH NERO!!! i’m so happy it worked out!!! that’s great!!! i’m not gonna be one to give you advice because i have no clue either when it comes to relationships 😂 but i’m so happy it’s good!!! and do keep me updated on how it goes, if you want to!!! especially in the next few months, will you be long distance when you’re in the uk or is she coming too?and again, i’m so happy for you two!!!

god here it’s freezing!!! i keep forgetting that it’s a completely different season for us 😂 i will gladly take that pavlova, it sounds delicious <3 and i’m sending you a big plate of cacio e pepe pasta because it’s always pasta time <333

NERO MY BELOVED SOULMATE BESTIE!!!!

i’m back!!! i took a few weeks off because life has been a lot and i felt like i needed a little break from everything 🥲

how are you?? what have you been up to in these last few weeks?? i missed you so much!! and i have stories to tell!!

so, i went to paris for a week back in october. i don’t know if you knew this, but paris has been plagued by a bug infestation lately, and the week before me and my friend were supposed to leave they also started having bomb alarms around the city. like the day before we left versailles had been evacuated for a bomb (it was a false alarm in the end) so we were kinda scared and worried. but the city was okay and we didn’t have much of a choice so we went. it was amazing!!! the first two days were perfect, the weather was absolutely amazing, freezing but always sunny, and we walked around the classic spots of the city. we had lots of macarons and croissants too. that was always the best part of the day. then on day three we’d booked versailles. on the day before it had been evacuated again for a false alarm so i thought it would be safe, they checked the night before, but well… after we’d been inside one hour the guards started to talk hurriedly to each other and they led us to the exits, we got evacuated. it looked like they were trying not to cause a panic but it didn’t work, also because there were way too many people inside!! it was crazy and scary, but luckily we were okay and we got safely out. and it was another false alarm, luckily. we decided not to let it ruin the whole trip so that night we went to the eiffel tower and had a nice dinner and dessert. then day four was disneyland!!! it was SPECTACULAR!!! nero have you ever been to a disneyland park?? it is everything you could ever hope it to be. it is pure magic, pure happiness. my friend and i felt like we were outside of the universe, it felt like nothing could touch us, like no problem could reach us. we were kids again. we were singing along to all the songs from our childhood and riding all the attractions and posing with princesses and cartoon animals and we bought so many little souvenirs to keep the magic with us. i got a cheshire cat plushie which is now my favorite thing i own. i have absolutely no regrets even if it costed 30 euros. same goes for my minnie’s ears which had a unicorn horn and a rainbow veil (see attached photograph) another 30 bucks, i have worn them only once, and i love them to pieces 😂 anyways, now is where the fun part really starts. we walked out of disneyland at 11pm after the night show (made me cry for 30 minutes straight, totally would recommend) and we had to take a train to get to the underground. well obviously there was a suspicious backpack at the station so it was closed for about 30 minutes to figure out what it was. it was late and our phones were almost dead so we tried to look for a taxi or bus and they’d put up a special bus service to take us to the closest train station, but as you can imagine it was absolutely packed and when we got off my friend noticed that her bag was open and her wallet was gone. we rushed back to the park to see if they’d had it in the last shop where she bought something but nothing, then we rushed back home to call the police and block all the cards, but of course we only got to the champs-elysées and then they kicked us out of the underground because it was closing. again our phones were out of battery so we didn’t even know if the buses were still running or not or how to call a cab, but luckily a cab passed by like two minutes later and we managed to get back to the hotel. and well, the 24h hotel door was closed. we panicked for about 10 minutes and ringed the bell a thousand times before anyone came to open the door. they were “just in the back for a minute” and i mean, fair enough, but on top of everything it was just the last drop.

anyways, the next morning we went to the police and got all the documents we needed to get back to italy and it was okay, it was just a very long wait for a two seconds job so it pissed me off a bit, but still we had a whole day and a half left so we enjoyed it. we had the louvre planned for that afternoon and it was so beautiful. and it was very heartstopping. pun intended 😂 we actually went and looked for every room we saw in the show and stayed about five hours in each one. this is where elle and tao kiss for the first time, it’s the exact place. can you guess how much i cried??

the only thing we couldn’t find was the painting on the stairs where nick talks to elle. i was very upset about that :( but anyways, the next day we came home and all i can say for this trip is wow. it felt like a five months trip somehow 😂 it was tiring and stressful and it tested my anxiety a lot, but honestly it was kind of perfect. this friend i was with is my opposite and my half in a lot of things and somehow we managed to laugh it all off whenever something crazy happened and we still had one of the absolute best trips of my life. i am so happy, i actually am getting a tattoo for our day at disneyland because it feels necessary hehe

and speaking of tattoos, i have a new one to show you!!! i finally got another heartstopper tattoo!!! and it is perfect and my favorite ever ♥️ i’ve wanted this vignette on my skin forever, and every time i see it it reminds me of everything about this story and it makes me so happy

anyways, enough about me!!! i’ve been away from this hellsite for so long, so how are you?? how is life?? i am very eager to catch up!!

i’m sending you a macaron because i am craving them again now (i’ve tried the marie antoniette macaron and i swear to god it feels like drinking a cup of tea, it’s unreal) and a warm tea to drink as you read because i’ve written so damn much, i can’t tell a simple story i missed you so so so much nero <3333

HELLO CECE MY BELOVED SOULMATE BESTIE!!!

it is so wonderful to hear from you!! i missed you so so much!! i was wondering how your trip went!! tbh i have been very on and off this website just because life is so exhausting :') i'm very excited to catch up with what's been happening with you!!

yes! i did hear about the bedbug thing! i had a few friends in paris around the same time and it was also all over the news here (funny that...) but i did not hear about the bomb alarms, that must have been so scary!! oh i can only imagine how lovely the macarons and the croissants were. nothing would be better than the original! i'm glad it was a false alarm and that you all got out safe. that must have been terrifying. AND DISNEYLAND?! cece i have never ever been to a disneyland but it has always been a dream of mine! i think the closest disneyland to me is japan or singapore 😭😭😭 but that's so wonderful to hear that you had such a lovely time!!! what was your favourite ride? any snacks you would recommend?? i would love to see the cheshire cat plushy, it sounds adorable! and the minnie ears!!! i'm obsessed and you're right: buying ears at disneyland is essential, it doesn't matter if you only wear them for the day! and what an end to a good day 😂😂 that sounds so anxiety-inducing, i audibly gasped as i was reading 😂

literally!!! government documents and officials make you wait so long for something that takes so little time!!! it's so fucking frustrating >:( the louvre!!! that would have been so cool, and it would have had extra meaning because of the show!! and i think i would have died a little, looking at the exact spot elle and tao had their first kiss! i don't blame you for crying at all 😂😂

a positive is that you got to see every other painting and iconic place from heartstopper and that's all that matters!! the trip sounded like so much fun, but yes, very draining with all those things not going to plan!! and i'm so glad you went with a friend who would laugh it all off with you and still make sure you guys had a good time!! that would have been so lovely! oh and absolutely you need to get a disneyland tattoo!! that would be perfect!

speaking of perfect, your new tattoo is so cute!!!! i love that panel too and it's just such a good representation of nick and charlie's relationship throughout the series!! and a really good placement too. ugh you always get the best tattoos!

as for me, i've been doing okay!! i have finished university for the year, and i am currently preparing for my exchange (i go to the uk NEXT MONTH! cece that is so crazy) a part of preparing for my exchange is unfortunately working a lot, but i have been rostered every single public holiday coming up so i should be getting a good amount of money before i leave!

and you'll be happy to know that after the christmas/new year's period, i'm going to stop working and have a few weeks of rest before i go!! i'm planning on just catching up with friends before i leave, packing and just actually getting a good night's sleep 😂😂

oh, also! i know you wanted little updates about what was going on in my love life, sooooooo... in the time you've been gone, i managed to get a girlfriend!!! i'm very happy and i have no clue what i am doing at all times, but it's good :)

i'm going to send you a little pavlova (a meringue like dessert australians typically have around christmas time, loaded with fruit and cream) and a little iced tea to go with, because my god, is it hot in australia right now. miss you heaps!!! <3

[copperbadge]

I went to my PO Box this week and had SO! MANY! TATOCHIPS! I don’t know if anyone else calls them tatochips but I do sometimes, and I was walking around my living room singing a little song about tatochips to myself. I had two boxes of flavor!

So here are my tasting notes:

From R (not my R) in the southwest -- let me know if you have a handle I should use, also love the cactus card: 

Fried Corndog and Mustard HEB brand: Delightful. Delectable. This is a mild, less piquant variant of the hot dog chip than some; I don’t think they used much paprika if any. It’s meaty but not too beefy, and the mustard is hinted at. There’s no cornmeal flavor per se but I’m here for the hot dog anyway.

Mixed Berry Lemonade HEB brand: WHY. SO SOUR. OH THE SOUR. I AM FORSAKEN. There is a hint of berry which is peculiar but not unpleasant; then it’s just SO MUCH CITRIC ACID. I feel like a mixed berry potato chip sans lemonade would have been preferable. Hell is empty because HEB is here. 

From @221squee who also sent me the delightful koi card -- I will have to pay a visit to the exotic chip store at the Destiny USA Megamall:

Black Pepper Rib Tip (Lays?): Steaky! They have a real beef flavor, hint of pepper; it’s easy to do smoke flavoring badly but they were sparing with it. Also they come in a vertical tin but they’re in a horizontal plastic tray inside it, which is an amazing combination of absurdist and practical and made me laugh. 

Black Pepper and Cheese “Italian” Pringles: These are meant to be cacio e pepe, yes? They are peppery and cheesy! A nice balance. I prefer slightly less pepper flavor but they’re by no means inedible. Although the bar for potato chips being edible is significantly lower after Mixed Berry Lemonade chips killed God. 

Garlic Baguette Sun Chips: I have had garlic baguette chips before but not Sun Chips, which adds to the experience. I opened the bag and was immediately enveloped in a cloud of garlic, but the chips -- while definitely garlicky -- have a nice buttery flavor to them that emphasizes the “garlic bread” aspect. The texture of the sun chips implies a crispy crust which adds zing. 

Thank you both for an adventurous potato chip experience! I will consume these many chips....and find some culinary use for the Mixed Berry Lemonade ones. Somehow. 

[fluffyprettykitty]

Come November, Come January

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader (no gender or any specifications!)

Word Count: 957 words

Outline:  A relaxing weekend away with your boyfriend turns sour when you overhear a phone call.

Warnings: swearing, cheating arch, breaking up. Not Beta'd, all mistakes are mine!

Author’s Note: Part of 3 different ex-boyfriends fics I wrote. This is the first one while this one is the last. No need to read them all, just a thematic flow.

P.S: dividers by @firefly-graphics ​

🌟 Please reblog and comment if you want to, all feedback is appreciated and warmly encouraged and allows me to know what people are interested in reading🌟

Main Masterlist ・❥・Bucky Barnes Masterlist

It all started in November: clandestine meetings, behind-the-counter kisses, and golden promises, all seemed nice and clear. He held your hand out in the street, smiled at your jokes, and listened to your problems, you attended to his needs and kept him close like an oath.

Come the middle of January you were both sitting on opposite sides breathing in and out not wanting to truly speak to one another. Something went wrong, something went wrong fast and crushing.

Wasn't he the man of your dreams, the one who would pull you out of the darkness and turn the world upside down for you?

Weren't you the partner of his dreams? Kind and loving like his mother, pretty and proper like his dad would like. You were all of that and much more but things went fast and escalated. And now?

Now you were swallowing hard trying to keep your composure in the reception hall of the fancy hotel he had brought you in. A common ground. Doesn't sound like a hotel floor.

People came and checked in and walked around, nobody bothering you as you stared and stared at each other. What should we do? What is this which humans do? Whatever we can. Any time we can. What went wrong? Tick, tick, tick.

In three months’ time – what a short amount of time, right now you should have been in his arms dancing around the wooden floor at his fancy upper east side apartment barefoot and singing along to your favorite song. He would have cooked his favorite cacio e pepe spaghetti and opened the fanciest Chilean red wine he so much fancied and preferred, not spending your Sunday evening like this.

With a huff, almost scoffing, you crossed your arms took a deep breath and exhaled deeply. "I'm sorry" he murmurs and you can tell by the sound and the tone of his voice he is hurt.

Is he really though? He played you like a fiddle. He is only sorry because he got caught. Lied through and through his teeth every single day, weaved you in a web of lies.

Come the middle of November, he would say it was merely a matter of formality, they just hadn't signed the divorce papers yet, –a keyword it would seem. And as for you? You would believe him because he seemed brokenhearted, his face was rugged, he looked as if he hadn’t been sleeping at all, his apartment was new and refurbished, he wore no ring, no ring imprint either and had no pictures of his past and his family in his apartment. All seemed nice and clear.

Until one day during a weekend trip away to Montreal (because snow is so heavenly he would tell you, we will have so much fun together) accidentally without any provocation, your mind never going there, you would overhear a call. Bucky was hiding in the balcony while he thought you still were in the shower telling his wife how he can't wait to see her and how boring his work meeting was.

What you felt next was the sound of your heart shattering to pieces, a gut feeling forming in your stomach, a need to run away, fast, and sail away.

That was just this morning. Just this morning, oh god. What a fool you have been….

Now you were sitting still completely in shambles as the man who broke your heart just a few hours ago was apologizing over and over again "we thought about giving it a second chance over Christmas, we owe it to ourselves to give it a second try, had to give a second chance to our marriage" yes during those two days you went to visit your family. Enough time away for him to realize he missed his wife you guess.

Shaking your head you cross your arms tighter, trying to hold yourself still and put together, every single dream of the future, your future together shattering. You would never come between a man and his wife, you were the other person this whole time, this whole time, hasn’t it been more than thirty days since Christmas?

You had helped him build his apartment, decorated it. Helped him shop clothes and shoes for himself. And now? What was the situation right now? Pretty boy was dressed in the emerald green jumper you had bought for him, in the camel faux leather shoes, you had chosen for him, wearing the fancy watch you gifted to him as a Christmas present.

It was all so confusing in your head, scenes and phone calls and meetings in dark streets away from town collapsing all together inside your head, and all he could say was sorry. Sorry, you very visibly scoffed as if a simple word like that could ever fix anything. With a sniffle, you shook your head.

You needed to get over him and this situation fast and you needed to go home. That was echoing in your head, repeating like a mantra “go home, go home, go home”

When he tells you the cab had arrived, you snapped out of your thoughts of your time together come and past, widening your eyes open, your heart rate picking up. You tapped at your feet running in all senses of the word towards the parking lot and into the car, him following with your joined suitcase "one suitcase is enough, we will be leaving together anyway" he told you just three days ago. Scoffing at the thought, you get inside the backseat of the cab, him opting to sit in the front taking deep breaths. One short airplane ride later and you would be home.

Oh how fast the night falls and changes, how fucking fast...

If you want to be notified about my future stories please follow my library blog @fluffyprettykittylibrary and turn on notifications!

[la-principessa-della-squadra]

HCS-La Squadra’s Dictionary, where are they from? Part 2

Part 1 Melone and Ghiaccio

Formaggio; Illuso

Formaggio

Lazio, (Rome)

Formaggio was born in the Centocelle district.

Knows how to properly cook 'Carbonara' and 'Spaghetti cacio e pepe'

Romanesco D.O.C

Says "AÒ" to start EVERY sentence.

Definitely NOT from Roma-Nord.

When He was a teen, Formaggio used to hang out in the Parioli district, only to bang a couple of young chicks from rich families.

Definitely NOT a Pariolino. (a native or inhabitant of Parioli · (informal) a person with a bourgeois standard of living and right-of-centre politics.)

Favourite expressions (dialect)

"Daje!" (Let's do this!/let's go)

"'Ndo cojo cojo." (I don't really know what I'm doing but I'm doing it.)

"Stacce." (It's the way it is. Whether you like it or not)

"Che tajo!" (So cool!)

"M'arimbarza." (I don't care.)

"ME STO A TAJÀ!" (I'm dying of laughter!)

"Stai a sgravà." (You got it all wrong)

"Me stai a cojonà?" (Who are you trying to fool?)

"Accanna. Accanna i gheims." ( Whatever you're doing. Stop it.)

"È na crema" (that's top notch)

"FIODENA" ( Linguistic contraction for "fio de 'na mignotta", son of a bitch.)

"Lo sto a fà" ( literally means: 'I'm going to do that' but it's used to express the opposite: 'Don't kid yourself, I'm not going to do that.)

"L'ho già fatto." (Now I'm DEFINITELY not going to do that)

"Sta pischella m'assangua." (I really like this girl.)

"Te dò una pizza che t'arestano pe' vagabondaggio!" (I'm gonna slap you out of this world.)

"Sei proprio da 'a Lazio." (This is the worst thing a Romano could say to anybody.)

"Mecojoni." (Damn)

"LI MORTACCI TUA" (Go fuck yourself)

"MANNAGGIA AR CORE DE CRISTO!" (Blasphemy)

Formaggio praising Illuso's cunningness

"Sei tarmente fijo de 'na mignotta che li papponi te stanno a cercà pe' offritte 'n lavoro."

(You son of bitch, you did it again.)

Formaggio driving with Ghiaccio

"AO', ma che è bisestile 'sto semaforo?"

(This red light is lasting more than 'Beautiful People')

Ghiaccio:"tasi diocancaro."

(Shut the fuck up.)

Formaggio criticizing Melone's babyface

"Sta maghina è pormonitica. Che c'hai preso un virus pe vedè tutto quer porno?"

(This thing is so slow. Are you sure you didn't catch a virus watching all that porn?)

Melone:"Boia deh, Un se po' lavorà 'hosì."

(For god's sake, I can't work like this.)

Bonus: Monetary Units in Romanesco

'NA PIOTTA /PAIOT: monetary unit corresponding to 100 lire or 100.000 lire.

UN MILLANTE/UN SACCO: monetary unit corresponding to 1.000 lire.

'NO SCUDO: monetary unit corresponding to 5,000 lire.

'NA FELLA: monetary unit corresponding to 100.000 lire.

'N BOCCOLONE/'N TESTONE/'NA BRANDA/'NA FRONDA: monetary unit corresponding to 1.000.000 lire.

Illuso

Piedmont, (Turin)

He was born in Turin, but also worked as a model in Milan during his teenage years.

Illuso loves Milan but is always second to Turin.

Adds "già" at the end of every question.

"Roma provincia, Torino capitale" (Rome is a province, Turin the capital.) says EVERY Torinese ever. This sentence is written on many walls in Turin.

Anything under the 'Po' river' is 'Africa'.

Constantly harasses his teammates from the South by saying " Sotto al Po', tutti terroni".

Would never directly call Risotto 'terrone' (and neither would Ghiaccio) cause it may sound pretty offensive.

Illuso drinks the 'tamango' a cocktail with rumored hallucinogenic abilities that everyone loves.

Always argues with Ghiaccio that "Le Panche" Cocktail bar is better than any "Bacaro Tour".

Almost died when a GTT bus caught fire. This happens at the rate of one every 6 months.

Illuso is fond of 'Cri Cri' , hazelnut chocolate candies covered in sugar granules.

He heard that they are going to held '2006 Winter Olympics' in Turin and he's totally bragging it with Formaggio.

"Roma? Dove stava Roma già? È forse una provincia?" (Rome? I don't know her. Is it some kind of province?)

Favourite expressions (dialect)

"Non mi oso/non si osa." (I would never.)

"Com'è?" (how are you?)

"Ziofa." (filler word.)

"Boja faùss." (this clever imprecation historically substitutes a terrible blasphemy)

" Vate caté na mola!" (Go fuck yourself!)

"Fatti furbo." ( Get a grip/ stop talking nonsense.)

"Boh." ( I don't know.)

"Neh." ( True dat.)

"E bon." (That's it.)

"Piciu!" (dumbfuck!)

"Pirla!" (Milanese version of 'piciu')

"Preso bene/male." (I'm having/NOT having fun)

"Facciamo che..." (Let's...)

"Mica hai voglia di..." (Would you mind...)

"Oh basta là." (Quit it!)

"Cerea." (Goodbye)

[sisitrip]

Lem's Tag Game

Thanks for the tag @depressedstressedlemonzest and the much needed distraction today.

What are some movie /tv quotes that you quote often?

"I heard your hearts dancing!" - Lestat de Lioncourt, Interview With the Vampire (Television Show)

Context: Lestat was jealous that his lover Louis spent time with another man -- jealousy ensued at epic levels.

So now I use it inappropriately. Examples: My cat was standoffish with me a few days ago, but was sweet and touch needy (the little bastard) with a friend who came over the same day. My friend left and my cat jumped on my bed, wanting pre sleep petting. I looked at him and hissed "I heard your hearts dancing!" Better yet, I left my wallet next to my laptop (don't do this!) with an open Amazon page. I came back and sighed "I heard your hearts dancing."

What is your favorite flower?

Peonies.

If you were in Avatar the Last Airbender what element would you want to bend? Earth, fire, water or air?

Earth

What was your first job?

I worked after school in a community center helping first graders with their homework while they waited for a parent to pick them up. Best job ever.

What is your favorit breakfast?

Hmm. Eggs, sunny side up, toast, fruit, coffee when I'm with adult company. When I'm alone, it's a mess. I once had a reheated chicken thigh on a slice of bread for breakfast and some Lucozade.

What's a meal from childhood that you love?

Sunday beef stew. My mom slow cooked it all day and the smell made the house feel like home.

What's your favorite joke to tell?

Oh God, too shy to tell jokes.

What's your go to quick meal to cook/make at home?

Ramen and soup dumplings. Meatballs (I always keep some frozen).

What's your go to meal to cook someone to impress them?

Cacio e Pepe

What's something you want to do better?

Writing and um, trouncing imposter syndrome.

If you're working do you like your job?

I do! It keeps me connected to the arts at granular level.

Do you collect anything? What?

Maybe haircare products. Look at me downplaying my affliction with that "maybe." I have a CVS aisle in my hallway closet full of haircare stuff.

If you were trapped in a kids tv show, what show would you be okay with being trapped in?

"The Proud Family"

An adults tv show?

"Insecure"

What kind of job did you want as a child?

Dancer. Did that for a while too.

Do you follow any sports? What team do you root for?

Not a single one.

If you could be any animal what would you be and why?

Oh hell, I don't know. I'd want to survive, be cunning and live a long time. Whatever animal that is.

If you could be any mythological creature what would you be and why?

Phoenix. Who doesn't want another shot at getting it right?

What's the most obscure thing you've had to google for a fanfic you were writing/reading?

The Osborne Fire Finder Device for a fic I'm writing right now.

What milkovich do you identify with most?

Mickey.

Which one are you actually like the most?

Mandy

What Gallagher do you identify with most?

Fiona

Which one are you actually like the most?

Ian/Liam

Tagging @annatrow @vintagelacerosette @ianandmickeygallavich1 if you haven't done this one yet.

[kepamount]

simi tell us about your night! I want to live vicariously through you 😭

omg okay so first we went to an italian restaurant and i had cocktails and ravioli cacio e pepe, it was literally so nice. then we went to a bar called albert schloss and it was shit lol so we only stayed there for one drink and dessert - i had lemon sorbet which was so good omg it tasted exactly like the lemon gelato i had in rome. then we went to spoons and did six different shots which nearly killed me off lmao. i went for a wee in spoons and that’s when my outfit broke! the jumpsuit has a zip from my armpit down to my hip and the whole thing broke like it was just open 😭 but we managed to fix it with bobbles, my jacket, my belt and my bag thank god 💀 then we went to revolucion de cuba and that was really good, the music was good and the atmosphere was nice.

and then we went to pryzm and i literally met the love of my life there. so basically this guy approached me and he was not my type at all - with my heels i’m 5’6” and he was about 5’2” 😭 so i showed him my ring that i’d moved onto my ring finger and pretended i’m engaged so he apologised and left me alone 💀 then i went to sit down bc my feet were hurting and another guy (the most beautiful brown boy ever he was like 6’2” with curly brown hair and he was wearing a sexy outfit with a gold chain 😩) came over and asked me if i’m engaged. i was like 😳 ‘no i just pretend i am to get boys to leave me alone’ and he said ‘am i not one of those boys then?’ i was drunk so i was much bolder than usual so i was like 👀 ‘no, i wouldn’t want you to leave me alone’ and then he said ‘but you wanted my bredrin to leave you’ i was like ‘who’s your bredrin??’ and he pointed at the other guy, i was like 🥴 ‘he’s not my type’ and he went ‘and i am?’ WITH THIS SMIRK ON HIS FACE I WAS LIKE ‘yes 👀’ and he asked me to give his friend a chance and dance with him, i was like ‘no but i’ll dance with you’ and he said he would but he couldn’t break bro code, i was so upset 😭 BUT THEN HE CAME AND DANCED WITH ME LATER ANYWAY! and we were rapping nicki minaj together, it was literally a match made in heaven 😩 but i didnt get his number so i’m never gonna see him again 😔 but anyway i got home at 4ish, did my skincare and knocked tf out at around 5 💀

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 116

About three weeks after the ‘rabbit conversation’ with Charly and Coffey, I was whistling to myself and finishing up the pasta for dinner that night. It wasn’t a family dinner tonight, so cacio e pepe seemed like a good fit - it was one of the dishes that I hadn’t quite mastered Before, and spent entirely too much time on the Ark getting it right not to enjoy it every chance I got.

And besides, who didn’t like fancy macaroni and cheese?

I had just handed Maverick the pasta, and was turning to grab the garlic bread, when the door opened.  I turned to face it with a grin, but nearly screamed at what I saw.  Dropping the bread on the floor without a second thought, I was right behind Maverick in racing towards Conor.

“What the hell happened!?” I asked, heart racing in panic.

Conor tried to throw me a grin through a busted lip, regretting it immediately. Swearing softly, he brought his fingers to his mouth, coming away with blood.  It didn’t go unnoticed that his other arm hung limply by his side. “Swear I’m okay, you two,” he laughed lightly.

“This,” Maverick nearly shouted, pointing up and down our partner’s black and blue body, “is the exact opposite of okay.”

“As mad as it sounds, I’ve never felt bet - ow…” he contradicted himself as he tried to take his boots off.

Dinner immediately forgotten, we ushered him in and helped get him cleaned up and changed out his bloody coveralls and t-shirt. While I knelt on the floor, bandaging every wound I could find, he tried to argue that he was okay before surrendering with a frustrated sigh. “So, how did you end up with bruises literally from head to toe,” I demanded.

“I was sparring,” he admitted with an embarrassed tone.

“Sparring or picking fights?” Maverick growled dangerously.  Things had been tense around Conor’s temper ever since the night he almost threw a bowl, but we had been going to therapy together, and I thought things were getting better.  Apparently, Maverick had his doubts.

“Sparring, I swear,” was the wide-eyed answer. “You know I’ve been talking to my therapist about a more effective outlet for my frustration, yeah?”  When we both nodded slowly, he nodded along. “Well, we agreed that sparring was a good outlet.”

“Then why didn’t you tell us?”

“Because then you would have wanted to spar with me, and the doc said that’s the worst idea to be thought of.  I’m not even allowed to spar with Tyche or Antoine.”

“Apparently you found someone….” I waved at the multicolored splotches that were growing even as we spoke.

“Yeah,” he rubbed the back of his neck with his good arm, glancing down at his other hand and flexing his fingers gently. “About that… I went to the gym, looking to spar with anyone really. And Bjornson was already there…”

“Please tell me you did not pick a fight with him,” Maverick groaned, sliding down the couch and covering his face. “That’s a terrible idea.”

Conor shook his head vigorously. “I swear I didn’t pick a fight with anyone! Have some faith?” When Maverick peeked through his fingers and made a go on gesture, Conor took a deep breath and continued. “Bjornson was already sparring with someone - Your friend, Farro.”

Oh gods above and below tell me you didn’t….

“Well, I wanted to spar, Arthur knows how to spar bigger guys, and I know he doesn’t hate me… So I told him I was in a bad mood and needed to get some frustration out.”

I pressed my lips tightly before blowing my breath out with a soft pop. “How did that go for you?”

“I had no idea my shoulder bent that way,” he gestured at the still-largely-useless arm. “Apparently my shoulder didn’t know it bent that way, either.”

“Awfully nice of him to put it back for you,” Maverick squinted, skeptical.

“Jokul might have been the one to do that.” Shaking his head, he laughed. “He wasn’t terribly gentle about it either.”

My stomach dropped. “Conor, did you tell them why you needed to spar?”

“I don’t - think? I did?” He bit his lip and frowned. “I just said I didn’t want to bring all my frustration home to you two, and that I didn’t want to have to hold back, so I didn’t expect them to… fair’s fair and all…”

“So…” I ventured slowly. “You thought, in your infinite wisdom, that the first time you sparred to get rid of your frustration, you were going to walk up to the two retired warlords and tell them to give you all they’ve got? That’s an even worse idea than picking a fight with Jokul, you know that right? Like, Charly-was-banned-from-selling-tickets-to-their-exhibition-match worse, right?”

“At exactly no point did I imply that I was thinking clearly,” he held up his good hand in defense. “I just figured my chances of actually hurting them were pretty much close enough to zero not to matter.”

I had to - begrudgingly - admit he had a point: at least he decided to pick two people he pretty much had no chance of hurting unless he was actually trying to kill one of them. “Did you even manage to land a hit on either of them?” I sighed, patting his knee.

“I got a couple good hits on Jokul,” he perked up slightly.

“And Arthur?” Maverick asked skeptically.

“That fucker is fast,” he grumbled sullenly.

Maverick laughed at that. “Maybe next time, set your sights slightly lower. Like… I don’t know, Charly?”

“Are you insane!?” Conor and I shouted in unison.

“What?” To his credit, he looked genuinely baffled.

“Maverick,” Conor enunciated carefully. “Love, I know she’s cuter than a kitten and twice as mischievous, but that girl has a demonic streak when she fights. Even Jokul is afraid of her, and Arthur is only ninety percent certain he could take her.  I’d give GK good odds, though.”

“Oh, you can’t listen to Jokul,” I sputtered. “He’s terrified of her.”

“You aren’t helping your case, you realize?”

“Besides,” I continued, ignoring him. “To Conor’s point, at least he doesn’t have to worry he might hurt Arthur or Jokul.”

It was Maverick’s turn to sputter as he gestured emphatically to the ever-purpling lump of our boyfriend. “What about Conor getting hurt? You see this, right? I mean, I know you’re colorblind, but you see bruises just fine....”

“Conor, do you at least feel better than you did before… all this?” I asked, trying to rein in the urge to wince at the swollen eye and lip.

“Believe it or not, I do,” he admitted, tentatively flexing his bad shoulder. “A good ol’fashioned scrap.”

I shook my head and arched an eyebrow at Maverick, resisting the urge to mutter “Men”. “Just… can you please stop at a medbay before you come home from now on?  Having you walk in here beaten half to death… It’s not fun.”

“I’m not beaten half to death,” he pouted, immediately belying his words by wincing after he tried to stick his bottom lip out. “Maybe a quarter…” he muttered.

“Medbay?” I prompted.

“Yeah, that’s fair,” he conceded.

Maverick patted his leg cheekily. “Good. Since dinner is ruined, you can go now while we make something fresh.”

“Now?” Conor whined. “I’m not dressed,” he tried to plead, gesturing at his bare torso.

“And as much as I normally appreciate the view, exactly no one on the Ark will actually care.” I gently pulled him to his feet, while Maverick was gracious enough to go get him a clean shirt. Once he was somewhat dressed, I shooed him toward the door. “Medbay. Now. Don’t come home until you aren’t bleeding anymore - externally or internally.”

As soon as the door closed behind him, Maverick turned to me with a decidedly wicked look in his eye. “I have a sudden craving for calamari with tomato sauce.”

I glanced at him slyly. “You know Conor hates squid.”

“Hmm. I hate having our boyfriend scare the hell out of us.”

“Calamari it is.”

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[anteroom-of-death]

Life, For Dummies p10

a/n: ta dahhhhhhh. i want to thank my hormones and sacha’s ass for this one. enjoy!

You moved back in and went on adventures again. The careful ownership he took of you was heartwarming. He’d obviously didn’t want a repeat of the last cycle of your relationship. The Master also was oddly always at the back or forefront of your mind, like he rented real estate there. Or rather a permanent residence. You didn’t know if it was him playing mind tricks or you being a bit more soft and submissive to his actions. 

Today, after a particularly close call involving a tiny race of people on a high gravity planet he wanted to publicly humiliate then take the resources from, you got a few minor cuts and scrapes and a shallow head wound, so he had you sat on the kitchenette counter, applying bactine and a thin layer neosporin to your forehead, it was yet again so tender. His emotive eyes glittering with rage and triumph after having to eradicate them for trying to harm you, but yet so filled with angst as he swabbed a Q-tip over you, a grimace passed over his entire face when you shrunk back from the sting of the spray. 

“Pet…” he uttered, washing his hands and tucking a strand of hair behind your ears and cupping your face. “You have to be more careful.” You leaned onto his hand and closed your eyes. You let out a small but heavy breath. His hand on you and touching you in such a tender way turning you into all-too-willing putty. He took you gingerly in both hands and stroked your chin before taking your jaw and pulling you forward for a forehead kiss. 

It was a scold, but not like the usual. And you were all too willing to obey.

Obedience was getting easier. 

The further you went as a threat to the universe and a bigger bitch you were, the more tender and soft you became towards Him. Give and take, maybe, you figured. 

You enjoyed it. 

You were either feared and respected for the Threat of You, or beloved as a liberating ruler. One or the other. The Master let you choose. 

The sex was getting more avante-gard. He was playing with all the secret fetishes that you hadn’t even told him about yet- you guessed he’d deeply read your mind and made sure you had no corners he hadn’t infiltrated. 

Not that you minded.

He slightly twirled your hair and looked at you again with those eyes. Those beautiful, hypnotic eyes. 

He was really designed by some wild fertility god to turn you into a pile of mush. Everything from those feet you kneeled at, to that wild hair that tousled so effortlessly in his face. His ass was a treat to oggle as he sauntered to kill someone that pissed him off. His thighs were enough to make you want to punch a wall. He was just so damn beautiful.

You had it bad. 

“I think tonight I’ll cook you something…” He said, “Why don’t you work on your Gallifreyan work I’ve given you.” He pulled you off the counter and smacked you bottom. You smirked then conceded, “Yes, Master.” You went to the table and picked up a pencil and started drawing the circles and lines and writing what they said in your “human-ish” as the Master put it. You were learning quickly, and it was always a blast because he’d hide cheeky little slutty notes to you in between the real life knowledge. 

You shook your head and blushed as you saw, “I belong to the Master, I suck his massive horse cock.” A sardonic giggle came out of you once you finally wrote the message down.

The scent of pici cacio e pepe started to fill the room as well as an uncorked wine starting to breathe. Other scents you couldn’t name started to fill your nose. 

Like his recent dabbling into your fantasies and anything, he was an avante-garde chef as well. He liked mixing the alien with the Earthy and training your tastebuds to accept more. 

Life was always about some sort of training or learning, he told you once as you begged him to go ice skating with you at Rockefeller Center. He’d never ice skated before and you taught him. It was hilarious, the usually effervescently graceful Master flailing on ice, a scarf choking him as you pulled him off the sides of the ramp. He was so scared and when he fell, he ended up thwacking the back of his skull hard enough that a supervisor came and was extremely worried about a concussion. After a check that he definitely wasn’t, but the back of his eyes were oddly reflective in the penlight’s light. 

Just another reminder that he wasn’t human in the slightest. Despite his looks.

Soon your work was done and you moved your way over to the stove and hugged him from behind, pressing your weight as he stirred a pot. “Smells good.” You admitted and inhaled both the dish and the scent of him.

“You’ll really enjoy this!” He lifted a wooden spoon into your mouth and you eagerly took it. You didn’t know how to describe the taste besides “Yes, I need more!” You wiped a bit off your lip and sucked on it. It was great.

“Stir this, I’ll go check your work…” He ordered and went over and produced a red pen to grade you. You weren’t lying to yourself when you admitted it. Kind of like a hot professor/Daddy thing. He was so serious and he sucked on the pen and it just drove you so crazy.

You observed the sauce and worried about it for a second. 

Then he came and pressed his body onto you and breathed, “Good girl, you got it mostly correct. Maybe I’ll teach you paragraph structure next.” He took the spoon and stirred it and added a glowing pink spice into the pot. He snaked a finger down your panthem and worked a finger into your cunt as he stirred it in and blended. You moaned as he somehow managed to finger fuck you and keep tempo with the stirring. He bit into you as the timer on the stove buzzed and he shoved you aside and pulled off the pot and started to get dinner ready. 

You were put out because you didn’t cum, but soon a delicious meal was in front of you.

The food and you edging, plus the heady wine paired with both made you both languid and about ready to have an aneurysm. 

He knew what to do to get you especially needy. Your abdomen was flooded with warmth and you were sopping wet, glad you just were wearing a simple jogger set and crop top today. You kept crossing your legs and trying to focus on what you were talking about.

Dinner dragged on too long, almost like he knew what a needy greedy little whore you were becoming by the second. 

You decided to roll for initiative and make a move…

You straddled him and lightly kissed his neck and worked the way up to his lip, lightly licking and biting after each kiss. You felt him stiffen as you made it finally to said lips and pressed hard enough to feel his front teeth through your lips. Wrapping your arms around him, you kissed harder until he opened his mouth to say something, you silenced him with your tongue down and licked the top of his mouth. You let yourself scrape your lips across the firm beard hairs and prickle up your sensitivity. 

With one hand bracing on the back of the chair, you worked his clothes off slowly, grabbing and wrapping your fingers around the Master’s chest hair. His eyes were closed and the lavender of his veins in his eyes fluttered erratically. You let him pull forward and take the lead for a little bit as you grind your ass over the fabrics of both your pants. You gently tried hiking down your pants and unbuttoning his. 

His cock was rock hard and very easy to squirm your way onto. He was very accommodating as he thrust into you as you rocked gently back and forth, still pressing your lips onto the hollow of his throat as he traced a pattern on the back of your neck. You squoze your legs gently on his hips and sped up the rocking motions and started to bite him and suck on his neck, tracing your own little pattern with teeth and tongue. 

He grabbed the nape of your neck and a bit of your hair and forced you onto the table, disregarding the lovely setting he made sure was nice beforehand. He then fully took over. He forced his way deeper into you and smacked your face gently a few times before fully enclosing his lips onto yours. He was not playing lightly with the thrusts and moving slightly side to side. 

You were looking him directly in the eyes and goaded him, “Hit me again! Harder!” You laughed. 

He dipped down midway through a thrust and kissed your forehead. “As you wish, my little whore…” You shuddered as his hand stung your face. You felt a tiny corner of a nail cut your cheek, you were oddly into it. “Again!” You goaded harder, and he was an obedient Master and hit you, “My little pet…” He shook his head and pressed his weight upon you and thrusted, hitting your cervix, you felt yourself getting more turned on by the pain given. 

You were really becoming a pain loving slut, weren’t you?

“Again!” 

He grabbed your cheeks, “Ask me, ask your Master…” 

“Please...please…” You begged even though your cheeks were squished together. “Please, Master! Hit me harder!” 

“Good girl!” He purred and smacked you completely silly then kissed the oncoming bruise gently before wrapping a hand around your neck, speeding up his thrusts until he came, cock twitching inside your now throbbing hole. 

He worked on playing with your clit, flicking and rubbing gently and bringing you to a delicate, but well deserved orgasm. 

“Has my little pet enjoyed her time?” He picked you off the table and placed you onto the seat, divesting himself of what remained of his clothes as he went and got a bendy ice pack and applying it gently to your cheeks. 

“You already got hit in the face enough today.” He chided and smiled sadistically. 

“Nah, never enough, I’m tough. I can take it.” You defended yourself crossing your arms and pouting. 

He rolled his eyes and followed up, “Duly noted.” He let you have your momentary invincibility. 

“And on that note, I think it’s time for me to go to bed.” You stuck out a petulant tongue.

“Go ahead...I’ve been planning on some things for soon. Might be tomorrow if you go to bed now…” He cryptically waved you off. 

You laughed and shoved him, kissing his forehead and waltzing away.

Laying in bed that night, you wondered what the surprise was. You wracked your brain and blinked yourself asleep. 

What was that man up to?

[harryseyebrows]

these pictures have me ACTING UP im ovulating and i need an outlet sorry to the lesbian gods i have brought shame to my people etc etc BUT i need to get this off my chest. lets set the scene: it’s a tuesday night, you’ve had an okay day, but its immediately made better when u get home and find harry in the kitchen, wearing tiny undies, tall white socks, his baby blue mon petit sweater with a button down underneath. on top of all this, he’s wearing a ‘kiss the cook apron’ which you ignore, but that’s okay because despite his little pout, harry says, ‘i made dinner.’

‘thank you, im starving,’ you say, taking off your coat and kicking off your shoes. the table is already set. harry pulls out a chair for you. 

he loads up both of your plates: cacio e pepe. he’s used a little too much water, clearly not having perfected things after his last venture, but it doesn’t matter. 

‘oh! i almost forgot,’ harry exclaims, eyes bright with an easy smile on his face, lips shiny from slurping his pasta rather indelicately. ‘i made garlic bread, too.’

thank god. everything is delicious. ‘go get comfortable,’ he urges, when you’re both done eating. ‘i’ll do the washing up.’

so you leave the kitchen, turning back only once to peer over your shoulder, being met with the sight of his hips moving from side to side at the sink as he scrubs your used plate with a sponge. rumors is playing on the stereo; thunder only happens when its raining, stevie sings, and harry does along with her.

you light a diptyque candle in the bathroom (tubereuse rouge) and take a bubble bath, not bothering to shave or trim anything, because you simply dont feel like it and who cares anyway. when your done, you find your bathrobe draped over the end of the bed, warm and smelling of homemade fabric softener that harry makes from recycled wool and essential oils as a hobby. he must have put it in the dryer for you. 

cozy and content, you slip under the covers, limbs sliding against clean egyptian cotton sheets, as you call out, ‘harry, darling, you can come to bed now.’

not long after, he appears in the doorway, his apron already forgotten. ‘sorry, i was just getting things ready for breakfast tomorrow. crepes okay?’

you find yourself smiling, at his eagerness to please and the way he’s standing, socked toes pointing inwards, arms folded neatly behind his back. ‘lovely. now c’mere.’

harry does as told. without further instruction, he first takes of his fuzzy sweater and puts it on a hanger before filing it away with the rest of his gucci collection. next, he slips off his button down, letting it puddle delicately on the floor, because he’s a man of spontaneity and ambiance. the underwear come off last (cream-colored, seamless), and as he approaches the bed, you notice the little pink indents they’ve left behind on his hips and groin. 

he slips under the covers with you, immediately putting his socked toes in between your ankles, hairy calves tickling your own. with his head propped up by his ring-free hand, he quirks his damp, stung mouth. ‘it’s come to my attention that i didn’t make dessert.’ before you can assure him that it’s fine, he adds, ‘im still feeling a little hungry,’ and then he ducks completely under the blankets and puts that same mouth to very good use. twice. 

he comes up for air with his hair in disarray, flushed cheeks, and a placid smile that doesnt quite match up with the desperation you can feel pressing against your thigh. you think for a moment, trying to mentally calculate if he’s been good enough for what youre thinking of giving him. harry, smart boy that he is, doesnt ask or even move in a way that suggests he’s owed or wants anything. you could send him to bed like that and he’d say thank you. 

which is why you take pity on him, tipping his chin up with your index finger, getting his full attention. you nod once, and his green eyes light up with a renewed sense of purpose. 

the entire thing lasts maybe eight minutes - you on your back and reclined leisurely against the pillows, harry between your legs, panting happily, doing all the work, the muscles of his arms, abdominals, and legs flexing as he keeps a moderate pace with devastating accurate depth. he kisses you throughout, his mouth soft and careful, never with too much tongue and just the right amount of wetness. he tastes like pecorino and faintly of garlic. but mostly he tastes like your favorite person. 

dedicated and thorough, he makes sure you finish first and falls suit not long after, quiet save for a single utterance of ‘i love you,’ nearly whispered and lost to the air of the bedroom. he makes sure not to crush you as he drapes himself along your side, sweaty and still shaking slightly, his arm around your waist, one long leg thrown over your hips. 

‘was that okay?’ he asks. 

you run your fingers through his hair, watching his eyes fall shut, pretty lashes resting on his blushed cheeks. he’s practically purring. ‘that’ll do, pig. that’ll do.’

he’s already asleep.

[thevengeanceuniverse]

Touch in the Dark Ch 2.2(Tony)

Tony helped Sarah make dinner that night, deciding on a simple but filling cacio e pepe with a nice wine accompaniment. He used his mamma’s pasta maker to start from scratch and let memories of her teaching him how to use it wash over him. Sarah was wonderful and took good care of him and Peter but it still ached to think about his mamma. She would have loved the warmth of the Rogers household, loved sharing recipes and gossip with Sarah in the kitchen, the two of them giggling like schoolgirls. She was the one who would pull him to dance with her in the kitchen, twirling around to the sounds of the radio. He missed the lightness of her spirit that was so visibly absent by the time of her death. He hoped Howard rotted in hell for the abuse that he had put his mamma through.

Pushing away the dark turn in his thoughts, Tony relaxed into the lull of working with his hands, letting it sooth him. Inevitably, his thoughts turned to his recent meeting with the Russian mob lord. He was worried about how to bring up the meeting with James to Steve, about the deal they had struck. His lover was so protective that he might outright reject the idea, but Tony knew that he couldn’t live with always needing to be protected. He knew what he was signing up for when he decided to keep living with Steve, work with him and love him. But Tony was still terrified. Howard may not have been his biological father but nurture was half of the equation. What if he ended up like the abusive bastard, crossing a line he couldn’t come back from?

He thought back to the things James had described. Killing Howard had been quick, one shot to the head and he was dead. Killing someone with a knife…drawing it across their neck and feeling the blood pour hot and wet over his hand…Tony felt his stomach lurch. God, what had he gotten himself into?

“Tony?” The sound of his brother’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Turning around, he moved to take 9-year old Peter into his arms.

“Hello, dear one. Did you finish reading your book?” Tony murmured into his hair in Italian.

Peter peeked up, eyes shining with excitement. “Yea! Oh, it was so fun, there was this pirate and his best mate and they sailed all around the ocean saving people from an evil king who wanted to rule over everyone! And there was this girl and everyone thought she was a spoiled princess but she was really an assassin and she ended up being the one to end the king and save everyone!”

“That does sound fun, cucciolo.” Tony leaned down and tickled his little brother’s sides. “Maybe one day you’ll run off and sail the seas, huh? And leave your poor brother all alone here?”

Peter screeched and wiggled to get away. “No! I pro-pro-promise I won’t leeeeave! Stoooooop!” He dissolved into giggles.

Tony kept going mercilessly, loving the look of joy in his brother’s face. He had filled out more and had lost that pinched look of worry that had been there when they were living with Howard. Being in the Rogers' household with lots of love and food from Sarah had been good for him. For both of them.

“What in the world is going on here?” Speak of the devil, there stood Sarah with her arms propped on her hips, and an incredulous look on her face. She faked a stern look towards Peter. “I thought I sent you to get the dishes to set the table, young man. And here I catch you playing?”

“N-no! It’s not m-my faaaaault!” Peter gasped helplessly. “Tony’s torturing me Auntie b-b-because he thinks I’ll run off and be a pirate!” At his name, Tony eased up, causing Peter to sag in relief.

Sarah chuckled, eyes shining at the two boys. “Well, come on then, stop lollygagging. Grab the plates, little Captain.”

“Yes, ma’am!” Peter saluted her before scurrying off and Tony exchanged a fond glance with Sarah over the boy’s dramatics.

The rest of dinner was reasonably calmer, Sarah and Steve asking Peter about any new friends in school and his lessons while Tony watched, feeling reflective and content. He did steal a glance here and there at Steve, but when the man raised a brow in question he merely shook his head and smiled.

After dinner, Tony and Steve made their way to the study on the first floor. They spent the time after dinner together, a private moment to just talk or dance to one of the records housed in the study or even just to cuddle. Whatever it was, Steve had made sure that any business he had didn’t cut into his personal time with Tony.

Tony settled on the couch, making himself comfortable as he thought of how to bring up his conversation with James.

Steve settled next to him, leaving a foot of distance between them so he could brace himself against the arm of the couch. His blue eyes were warm but assessing when they regarded Tony.

“You’ve been really quiet tonight.” Steve reached out to cup Tony’s cheek, brushing his thumb over the apple of his cheek in a light caress. Tony held the hand to his face, turning his face to press a drop a light kiss to the palm before pulling the hand down to hold on his lap.

“Do you remember when I first came here? You told me you were holding onto Howard, that you were saving him for me so that I could choose how to end his life?” Steve nodded but stayed quiet.

Tony took a deep breath. “I went to see James today.” But Steve simply nodded again. Of course he knew.

“I decided to take him up on his offer. I want to learn how to fight with a knife. I want to be able to stand beside you as an asset.” Steve didn’t bother to address that point just yet, he just sighed as he tugged Tony sideways into his lap, wrapping his arms around him.

“Are you sure?” His voice was soft. “You’ve already had a lot of violence in your life. Dealing it out is going to take a toll on you. It will make your nightmares worse, make you more paranoid about an attack, bring up a lot of dark memories even as it carves new ones into you.”

Tony leaned his head against Steve’s shoulder. He had thought about all this before going to see James but it still didn’t make the decision any easier. There was a part of him that wanted no part in hurting anyone. That remembered how even Howard’s arguably quick and merciful death had haunted Tony and wanted to let Steve continue to protect him.

But there was another part, one that he had tried to keep buried but it burned with a dark core in the pit of his stomach. It was the part of him that was angry at being hurt for so many years, the part of him that made him pick himself up after every drunken night and treat the bruises from his father’s fists. It was bitter that the people around him had just turned a blind eye to his suffering, never stepping in no matter how loud or vicious Howard had gotten. He had stopped waiting for someone to save him years ago, surviving only so that he could look after Peter and distract Howard from trying to take his anger out on the younger boy. That part of him was vengeful against the world and it wanted to carve out its own brand of justice.

“I don’t want to be a victim anymore, Steve.” Tony’s throat ached with anger and remembered pain. “I would rather die than be helpless again. I know that this will probably make things worse and cause more nightmares. But I need this. I need to be able to stop looking over my shoulder because I know that I have no way to defend myself. I need to have the power to take my safety in my own hands to protect myself and our family.” Tony reached up to bracket Steve’s face in his hands, letting him see the determination in his eyes. “And if that means learning to chop off the hands of anyone who wants to hurt Peter or Sarah or you, I’m going to do it.”

Steve groaned at the sharp edge in Tony’s voice before dragging him close for a desperate kiss. “You have no idea how beautiful you are when you’re vicious,” Steve whispered against his lips before leaning in to nip and suck at the lushness. The darkness in his veins growing heated, Tony clutched onto Steve just as fervently. Toppling himself back towards the cushions, he pulled at Steve’s lapels to pull him hard and heavy on top his body. Steve sank into the vee of Tony’s spread thighs, pressing against him with delicious friction. Things were quickly going out of control. They had never done anything other than kissing outside of their bedroom. Even in their home, the thought of being walked in on by Steve’s mother was too humiliating to bear.

But Tony couldn’t help it. He never expected Steve to respond like this. He had been worried that Steve would want to keep protecting him, unable to see him put himself at risk. And maybe a part of him always will, Tony didn’t delude himself, he felt the same need to protect Steve especially after nearly losing him. But this, this fevered need that seemed to delight in Tony’s desire for violence had been unprecedented. If he had known Steve would react in this hungry way that made him want to have Tony immediately, he probably would have spoken sooner. Talked about fighting and making life threats every damn day.

Steve rose a bit to pull at Tony’s shirt roughly, uncaring of buttons flying every which direction. He used his new access to his advantage, knowing how sensitive Tony was. Tony moaned at the feeling of Steve tongue on his nipples, fingers twisting and plucking the neglected one like a guitarist. He hissed at the sting when Steve bit lightly at them, then quickly soothing the hurt with his tongue. Tony started to feel fuzzy, like a wildfire was running in his blood and settling in his stomach to wind tight with anticipation and need. Steve’s mouth moved further downward, pausing just above Tony’s waistline to tease while his hands stroked his inner thighs. The strokes were firm but didn’t move closer to the spot where Tony desperately wanted to be touched and Tony whined with impatience.

“Steve, Steve,” he managed to gasp out, pulling at the short blond hairs at the nape of his neck to get his attention. “Please, I can’t wait.”

“I know, love, I know, just let me,” Steve murmured, reaching out for a small discreet drawer on the side table. He pulled out a small bottle of oil with one hand as he used the other to unbutton both their fronts.

“Come here,” he pulled at Tony’s arm, encouraging him to straddle Steve’s thighs and perch on his lap. Steve drizzled some of the oil in his hand before encircling both their members together. Tony’s breath hitched at the warm slickness, undulated his hips and fucking himself into Steve’s large hand. He was so beautiful, looking delightfully debauched with his blond hair mussed from Tony’s eager hands and lips red with Tony’s kisses. But it was the heat of Steve’s gaze on him that pushed Tony further to the edge. Overwhelmed with the feeling of being pressed tightly against each other, Steve’s firm strokes on them both, Tony threw back his head, back arching as his mind blanked out with pleasure. Spilling out into Steve’s hand, he was vaguely aware of Steve coming soon after, leaning forward to press his forehead against Tony’s chest as he choked out a muffled groan with his own release.  

Tony opened his eyes at the feeling of gentle lips on his, gazing down at a smiling and satisfied Steve. He smiled back, feeling the same satisfaction in his lax limbs. He knew their clothes were probably ruined, stained with oil and other fluids and his shirt hanging half off his body but he couldn’t find it in him to care. They’d have to sneak upstairs at some point and take a shower or at least wipe down with clean cloths but that could wait a minute. Right now, he just tugged his lover back close and they traded easy, lazy kisses, wrapped up in each other’s arms.

Read more on AO3 if you want: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23556382