#god i love 13 so much shes so weird

[cupothi]

my mutual on twitter showed me a photo of jodie whittaker with short hair and my life was changed forever

[nomairuins]

thank GODDD the doctor is taking time to work on himself maybe now he can stop ruining womens lives .

[alllgator-blood]

I s2g if you add the layers of these comic pages together, it's over 350 layers. THIS is why I don't do full color for my comics lmaooo- ANYWAY EVERYONE HERE HAS AN AU APPARENTLY, SO THIS IS A BRIEF GLIMPSE INTO MINE. I don't know what to call it yet but I'm thinking of calling it "famous prophets" because 1. I like that car seat headrest song, 2. it's about shamura who is prophetic, 3. it's about trying to outrun fate with the Power of Love (and failing. Like the song!!!). It takes place when all the bishops were teens/kids during the age of hundreds of gods at war, and were trying to survive as a family.

I'm really excited to work on stuff for it but it's all gonna be drawn out of order. Maybe I'll write a full explanation of what it's gonna be about when I have a better idea...I want to channel my eldest sibling angst in a productive way, and maybe establish a QPP between shamura and a completely random npc everyone forgets about <3 also kallamar is trans too cause I said so. I'll do a comic about it eventually. Instead of an absence of gender he has TOO much gender. It simply cannot be contained.

I like that nonbinary genders are normalized in cult of the lamb to the point where nobody singles anyone out for being a they/them, it's not like "THIS IS MY SIBLING SHAMURA. THEY ARE NONBINARY AND USE THEY/THEM. ALRIGHT BACK TO KILLING YOU", it's just like "don't you fucking dare make my poor sibling wake up from their nap to kick your ass. Cause they deserve better than this."

But at the same time I like having the freedom to be more specific, and say "shamura is voidpunk and their gender is best described as the feeling that overtakes you during the first snow of the year, when everything outside is deathly quiet". This comic is actually derived from the time I was walking through a forest that's been torn down for a few years, and came out to my little sister as trans. I must've been like 13 or 14 and she didn't really get it as a 10 year old, but it was better than my mom FREAKING OUT about me coming out. So it was a nice little bonding moment between just the two of us. I don't have a good memory so I don't recall how it went unfortunately...

Now, the climate is a little different. My sis tried out transmasculinity for maybe 5-6 years before feeling happier as a woman, my mom is trying to be Based and flaunt her Woke trans children, and my dad remembered "oh yeah trans natives have existed before colonization. Maybe me being transphobic is a product of my culture being erased" and has gotten better about calling me the right thing. I have a mustache (thanks pcos!!) and wear skirts and am not a repressed "tomboy" teenager anymore. But I can't help but wonder what would've happened if I could've been like shamura and just...been nonbinary without people being fucking weird about it. Or been born as a badass war god who will tear you to shreds before you can perceive my birth sex. I know they're fictional but they are my ultimate gender envy GRRRRR BARK BARK BARK

Here is the secret image for this post- I listen to mostly EDM when I draw cause it keeps the energy up, but as I was finishing up shamura's poetry part, I was like THESE ARE JUST KMFDM LYRICS so I made this

[crosbyism]

"but then again this is the guy who’s publically known for loving to eat ass so"

I'm sorry, I thought Nate eating ass was fanon. Are you telling me this is an actual canon fact??

god i love when people don’t realise how much “fanon” around sid and nate is actually canon. it’s like heroin to me. also bc it’s like. 90% of the stuff in fics (which is probably why people assume it’s fanon but. oh boy it’s not. there’s shockingly little fanon around these two, mostly because canon is so abundant).

yes, nathan mackinnon is a known ass-eater. let me direct you to this post, anon. you’re welcome.

other nate (and sid) facts you might not have realised are canon:

nate is a known advocate for therapy. he’s been seeing a sports therapist since 2017

they wear matching clothing all the fucking time, sid has said publicly that he started wearing white sneakers and updated his wardrobe due to nate’s influence (iirc nate might’ve even bought him his first pair of white sneakers? either that or it was a “he told me i need to so i did” situation). they share a tailor. unfortunately i now have to bring your attention to the fact that since they have an alarming amount of matching clothes that they’ve bought for each other, that means that they in fact have to know each other’s clothing sizes off by heart. they also low-key share clothing btw

their families celebrate canada day together and their dads are best friends. in-law behaviour goes crazy

nate did in fact stalk his way into sid’s heart (got the same personal trainer and agent at age 13; built his house next door in 2017; they’ve been spending every day in the summers together since at least 2015. sid cooks for them daily, or at least did pre-pandemic. sid refuses to use nate’s gym tho so they always use sid’s).

nate used to have a fan twitter account more or less where he rooted for the pens. it was active until 2017.

sid and nate regularly go to summer weddings together as each other’s dates. they have done this since, once again, at least 2015

nate has confirmed that he used to have a poster of sid on his wall as a teenager (he didn’t confirm he used to jerk off to it but frankly. i think that’d be saying the quiet part out loud)

when sid won the cup in 2009 and held the parade in cole harbour, nate stood by the side of the road watching it. he was about to turn 14, he was already working with sid’s trainer and agent, and he was about to start attending shattuck (sid’s junior high). due to old pics we also know that this was RIGHT before nate had his first growth spurt and hit puberty. i’m not saying seeing sid with the cup kickstarted nate’s puberty and gave him his first boner but i’m not NOT saying it

nate dated vanessa morgan of riverdale fame in his rookie year. she’s now good friends with elias petersson from the vancouver canucks (this means nothing but i do think it’s a very funny coincidence).

nate schmidt, formerly of the VGK, once failed a drug test (it turned out to be a testing-fuck-up); when nhl players were asked about it natemack iconically said “i don’t think he was sticking a needle up his ass” (i just like this one)

when he was a kid, the one other thing sid wanted to be was a hairdresser. nate, on the other hand, “didn’t have a plan B”

nate is canonically possessive of sid (see: the asg 2024) and sid is canonically delighted by this and into it

they go on so many lunch dates in the summer my dude. they go grocery shopping together. like there’s so many pics of them in grocery stores or out having coffee or weird green shakes

oh i almost forgot, they went on a roadtrip through ireland last year. they’ve been on holiday together multiple times over the years though. done some eurotripping together and stuff. in 2015 they spent three months together, three weeks of which were spent living in sid’s santa monica condo together just the two of them

sid has put up a picture of every stanley cup winning captain in his basement since 2008, when the pens lost in the scf to DET. apparently this serves as motivation for him to win the cup. he notoriously does not watch the playoffs after the pens are out

however, he partied so hard at nate’s cup party he actually closed down the party with his dad. nate is the only non-teammate sid’s ever been seen supporting for a cup run (he’s also never been to his teammates’ cup parties afaik so. there’s that)

also they talked on the phone daily and between periods during nate’s cup run. they also canonically have almost weekly phone dates that can run multiple hours. quote nate “i can’t talk to anyone else the way i can talk to him”

they each have pictures of the two of them together framed in each other’s houses

there’s rumours they’re building adjoining houses on neighbouring properties in cape breton next to a golf course bc apparently being neighbours in halifax isn’t enough or something. this one is as yet unconfirmed by reputable sources though

[bey0nd-1he-stars]

I know Snape was the only death eater that was able to produce a patrons and I’d just like to beg your pardon.

Snape conjured a patrons based on an obsession. What he had for Lily might have been love once but let be real, we’ve surpassed that phase. Now it feels like it’s just an obsession over her.

Other than Lily, his life was fucking miserable. His father was a prat and his mother was weird. He got bullied at school and he doesn’t really seem to enjoy his teaching life very much.

It’s also portrayed that his patronus is conjured from love and not happiness.

So excuse me if I feel like any other death eater has happier memories than Severus Snape.

Lucius Malfoy, he’s respected at the ministry and has a wife, a son that he at least cares about, a nice ass mansion. He’s wealthy and grew up in a famous, rich family, why can’t he conjure a patronus?

Bellatrix Lestrange, like the only death eater who really enjoys what she’s doing with Voldemort. She straight up laughs when killing Sirius. Why can’t she conjure a patronus?

Regulus Black, whose love for his god damn house elf got himself killed. Why can’t he conjure a patronus?

Narcissa Malfoy, who loves her son more than anything, so much that she straight up lied to Voldemort who can read minds just because there’s a chance her son is still alive. Why can’t she conjure a patronus?

Why can’t any of the death eaters conjure a patronus especially since Harry, at 13 years old, could do it based on a made up memory.

It’s a shit excuse to get people to like Snape more.

[cute-sucker]

Hi! I wanna request a story of like kook reader having a crush on Rafe and her friends always warns her about his behaviors but she doesn’t care at all and continues to admire him and he definitely notices it but he’s so nonchalant and cold about it😭😭

rafe cameron was your world. 

if it was up to you, the sun set on him, and the moon awakened when his face came into view. it was cheesy you knew, after all, you had been his neighbour forever, but you couldn't help but find yourself drawn to his behaviour. when either it was his looks or the cocky smile that he had. whatever it was, it was not okay. 

well, you didn't see a problem with it. it was just a crush. just something to smile about sometimes, or think about. that's what you had promised some of your friends. but sometimes your friend mindy would tap your shoulder as she mouthed a soft "no," "no." 

at a certain point, you had become wheezie's babysitter in hopes of getting closer to rafe. it was pathetic you knew, but wheezie was such a sweet girl that you loved it even more. days at tanyhill were filled with finger paintings and fairy tales. sometimes you would go all out and let wheezie cook, although that did entail both of you getting completely covered in flour. and that was how you met him. formally. 

you had been smiling up at wheezie, as she told you the gingerbread cookies looked more crooked than usual. you had batted it off telling her that the two of you just had different styles. still you were covered in flour as rafe walked in. while you did have a small crush on him, you tried to ignore him as much as possible. if he was in a room, you walked out choking, blushing so hard. you were just so shy, you could barely say a word. 

yet here you were on the floor as you giggled with wheezie. the two of you were tired. until a voice rang out. 

"what the hell is going on? the place is a mess. shit." 

you felt your heart race as you got up, while wheezie continued to roll on the floor telling you how this perspective of the world was wicked. finally, rafe came into view, eyes squinted as his eyebrows were furrowed. "who the hell are you?" 

wheezie rolled her eyes, "oh my god, rafe can you be more embarrassing. she's my babysitter?" his expression stayed confused before he shrugged it off walking to the fridge, wheezie scoffed, "damn rafe do you even pay attention-" 

"hey!" he snapped, swinging the fridge open to take out a carton of milk, a warning finger in the air, "don't swear." 

at this wheezie scoffed, putting her hands on her hips, "you do it all the time, i don't know why i can't-"

"wheezie, i'm older than you," he interjected, and then he held the milk carton up to his lips. wheezie winced, making a disgusted face, as she pushed him away from the fridge. rafe stumbled away a satisfied grin on his face, ruffling wheezie's hair.  

"ugh, boys you know," wheezie huffed, closing the fridge door with a bang.  

finally wheezie looked up at you, almost as if she was realising you had said nothing and arched an eyebrow at your expression, placing a comforting pink manicured hand on your shoulder. it was humorous how the 13 year old was trying to make you feel better. her nails were still a shocking neon pink with sparkles. 

"don't feel too bad. rafe is weird." the two of you left it at that before going back to making cookies. 

˚❀༉‧₊˚.˚❀༉

"and then he came in, like all khakis, and that hot polo shirt," you giggled into your phone, kicking your feet. your friend mindy made a hurrupted sound on the phone, "i met him, like actually met him. why aren't you as excited about this?" 

suddenly the phone went silent, and you could hear her soft breathing, "i dunno, i mean lets think about this rationally," she sighed out, and you groaned, turning over in bed. this meant that hard truths were going to be told. 

"-okay i know you hate this, but you've babysitting for the camerons for what, two years?" 

"three years," you corrected, before realising your error. 

"yeah, three years and he hasn't noticed you at all? hasn't thought to ask, 'hey who's that rando girl staying in our home dad?' at all? they invited you to the midsommers, and to all of their parties. and he doesn't know you?" 

you winced at that, before you pouted turning back on your back, "listen, i know it sounds bad, but i don't know. it'll happen."  

you didn't think about it too hard, but there was a noticeable shift. you were putting a lot of care into changing into a cute dress, or painting your nails with extra care, or making sure you asked wheezie where he was. you didn't think it was obvious, but one time wheezie brought it up. 

"do you have a crush on rafe?" she asked, stuffing her face with the burger you had made her. 

you were taking a gulp out of your lemonade and almost spat it out, "wheezie! don't ask me things like that." 

she blinked at you innocently, "i don't know what you're talking about. it's a valid question," and then she pouted, "i thought you'd tell me everything about yourself." 

"well, no, i don't have a c-crush on your brother," you sputtered out, glaring at wheezie who gave you a sly grin. she quickly let go of the conversation, and the two of you were arguing over jenga and who had won. 

quickly enough the days passed at the tanyhill, you had settled down into the belief that rafe would not notice you. who cared? you had a nice job, wheezie was a sweetheart and mr. cameron loved having you around. it was perfect all of it, until rafe approached it. 

it was for a frat part you could tell. with his backward cap on, a fitted tee, he looked like a dream. the babysitting shift was over, and you were slowly walking outside only to see rafe revving up his motorcycle. 

you found yourself flushing at the whole scene and murmured out a soft 'bye.' as usual, you were ignored, or maybe you were too quiet, goddamn it you were so stupid-

"hey!" 

you turned around to see rafe cupping his face to yell at you. he had pulled off his helmet to talk to you. 

"hey," you stuttered out, grasping at your tote bag. you looked like a total grandma, with your cardigan, and written-on sneakers, "what's up?" 

"just heading off to a party, and uh," he scratched his head, squinting his eyes before tearing his eyes off his motorcycle to look back at you, "wanna come? it's at like nine." 

"sure! of course. yeah, sure," you blurted out, flushing even more. he regarded you again, a well-natured smile flittering across his face. 

"yea, i'll see you then." 

so there it was. an invitation. rafe cameron had invited you to a party. 

maybe this was a start of something.

[cranberryjuice-posts]

Okay so like hear me out.

Reader went on a quest years ago when her and Clarisse were still young and they went missing/were pronounced dead. But in reality they got stuck in the Lotus Casino so when Chiron sent some campers to retrieve campers that he already knew were stuck there they found the supposedly “dead” reader playing in the arcade.

Reader goes back to camp and finds Clarisse after all these years and returns like some weapon or smth that Clarisse gave them so they could defend themselves. (Reader obviously aged somehow so theres no weird age gap or smth)

- harness your hopes -

Pairings - Clarisse La Rue x Fem! Reader

An - i tried to find a way to write this without a plot hole since in the lotus hotel you don’t age key example nico di-Angelo so I hope this helps some 😭😭

“It’s Vegas”

“No it’s the best place in America. AND! And they have legal gambling” you laughed walking along side clarisse down the streets of Las Vegas.

Being placed on a mission together you both had an older saytr leading. Your main assignment was to locate a demigod that was near by and to help return them to camp safely.

Brushing your hands against clarisses you blushed some, it was just a dumb crush. You were 13 and so was she anything that could between you both was just pointless. Contrasting your thoughts however clarisse slowly reached over taking your hand.

The saytr guide gave you both a teasing face causing clarisse to pull her hand away embarrassed. As the guide chuckled turning back to lead the way you patted your cheeks trying to make the burning feeling go away.

After about an hour you all decided on getting lunch. While just waiting outside with clarisse she tapped your shoulder making you look at her.

“Here.. I saw your dagger got broken in our last fight so have mine” she tried hard to play it off but you could tell she was really just trying to show a form of love.

“Thanks” you happily smiled taking the blade back. Looking down at the blade you could see in the reflection clarisse looking Away embarrassed. Cute

It was weird.

One minute you were running away from a hippalectryon, next you were laying on the ground with a glowing wolf over you? Then you woke up in a casino like hotel.

The following week felt unreal, gambling every once in a while. Finding other demigods and running around with them, meeting some kids who said the Roman gods were real? Weird. Even becoming friends with this small kid named nico who un-ironically liked mythomagic just as much as you.

Being so caught up in the moment you hadn’t realized your body and mind growing. On Monday you were happy to eat a tub of ice cream all day while most people treated you like a kid, on Tuesday you were schooling some little kid on why he shouldn’t cheat in games and the older demigods you had seen before suddenly invited you to hangout with them.

Sitting in the lounging area you saw a familiar set of bright orange shirts paired with some of your friends you had just met. Quickly getting up you jogged over. “Hey! Wait up!” Finally standing before them your happy face turned to confusion. “Chris..?”

The Chris you suddenly Remembered had been 14 and recently shaved his head as he lost a bet now.. he looked older, way more muscular than before and for some reason he seemed more mature.

“Holy shit” he spoke shocked. Almost scared he reached out grabbing your shoulders. “What’s your name” he cautiously spoke.

“Yn Chris when did you get so old” you shoved his hands off of you. You had been gone a week not a lifetime.

“Are You dead?” He asked earning him an unamused look from you. Placing your hands on your hips you gave a heavy sigh. “No I’m not dead why are you asking”

“Because you’ve been dead for three years”

…

..

What..

—

The ride back to camp was weird. While Travis and Connor drove the truck back to camp you talked with Chris as he updated you and all the campers with you that in-fact everyone was trapped with the lotus eaters.

Though what confused him and everyone else was how you were able to age and mature like a normal person.

Pulling your dagger out from your side you studied it ashamed. So much time passed without you.. your siblings grew up, the camp evolved, it was like you didn’t even belong in this timeline. Shining the celestial bronze blade a sudden memory came back to you.

A girl named clarisse came back to you. A girl named clarisse who you loved, came back to you. With that all the flustered emotions of a young teenager followed suit as well.

Stepping inside to camp a familiar sense of comfort washed over you. Three years later and the damn place still hadn’t changed.

Though the walk though camp was awkward to say the least. All your friends were 16/17 now and there was so many new kids and dead ones that it was honestly a lot.

Eventually you found yourself sitting in the Aphrodite cabin with silena, leaning on her bed laughing like it was old times.

“You know what!” The daughter Aphrodite smiled leaning over the side. “There’s a certain lesbian here who misses you”

“Who” You chuckled slowly remembering everything. Silena looked at you with a knowing look. “Wait clarisse?! No no she doesn’t— we never liked each other like that” you laughed trying to play it off.

“Then I guess it won’t be weird for you to go meet up with her right now”

After a silent back and forth you caved in standing up. “Fine! I’ll go see her but we’re just friends” You warned leaving the cabin.

Jogging into the arena you had to take a moment to appreciate what you saw in-front of you. 5’10 and lean just swinging her spear around with a concentrated look plastered on her face. Even even she was taking her anger out clarisse was still beautiful.

She stuck her spear into the sand and started tying her curly hair back. Placing her hands on her hips she let out a heavy sigh just letting the energy fall away from her body.

Slowly walking towards her you cleared your throat nervous… justtt friends that’s what you were. “Hey..” you managed.

Instantly she looked over stunner and a little embarrassed. Clarisse didn’t move, didnt even speak. She opened her mouth for only a second before just closing it again not sure what to say.

Deciding to take the first step you gently patted your sides. Pulling the dagger from your side you held it out. “I figured I don’t need it anymore so I should return it-“

“Keep it” she quickly spoke. “Sorry.. I’m just, it’s been a long time” a tired breath left her lips causing you to blush slightly.

“Right..“ placing the blade away you looked back up deciding that maybe just standing in silence was the best think to do.

What felt like an eternity soon came to an end when clarisse decided to finally speak up. “Can we.. can we hangout tommorow” she slowly asked.

Nodding your head adamantly you smiled. “Yeah, I’d like that a lot.”

———

“Shut up it did not feel like a week” clarisse laughed walking around the forest with you. For majority if the day you both had just spent time together, almost like a date.

Now with the moon rising you both decided to finish the hangout off with a walk in the woods. “It did” you giggled. “I swear to the gods I was only there for a week”

She just rolled her eyes. “Must of been nice” she mumbled shaking her head. Confused you chuckled back. “What do you mean?”

“Well you didn’t have to spend three years thinking the first girl you ever actually fell in love with was dead and having to find some way to continue yourself that leaving her to bleed out after she protected you from dying wasn’t yourself and was the right thing to do”

You stopped walking and just looked up at clarisse. “You love me”

She looked back at you and just shrugged her shoulders. She was completely different from the dumb childhood crush you had. Slowly you grabbed clarisses arm and took her hand into yours. Looking down you smiled as she was wearing one of your favorite rings.

“I don’t remember a lot. I don’t know how I ended up in the hotel.. but what I do remember is that throughout my long week stay I always remembered a girl who could effortlessly make me laugh and always made my stomach do flips” a small laugh left your mouth. “Out of everything and everyone I always remembered being in love with you clarisse”

Shyly with her free hand she cupped the side of your face. Brining you close to her she muttered. “Can I Kiss you..”

Laughing some you nodded. “Yeah you can kiss me”

Placing her lips onto yours you couldn’t help b it smile happily. It made you feel warm how some way some how clarisse waited for you. Guess it was a good think to since you had no choice but to wait for her too.

Clarisse - FUCK ALL YOU MOTHER FUCKERS I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND SUCK IT

YN - babe 😭

—

[all4yoi]

falling slowly in love

𝓈unghoon x fem!reader (ft. ni-ki) ↻ f2l, fluff, est relationship, written in ni-ki's pov, mentions of heeseung, not proofread. a part 2 maybe? wc: 610

wherein we see how ni-ki witnessed how the love between you and sunghoon bloomed

There was he again, the stupid stupid boy that took his sister's attention away from him. Riki frowned in distaste at the sight of his laughing sister seated beside a boy that was obviously much taller than her, he was looking at her as if she created all the toys in the world. 5 years old Riki didn't like that, he was supposed to be the only boy in his sister's life. But he'll let it pass, he loved seeing his sister happy.

Riki was 13 years old now, he now knew all about girlfriends and boyfriends but that didn't stop him from giving Park Sunghoon the stink eye whenever he came too close to his sister. Just like today, he came home from school earlier than expected and was met with the sight of the taller dude towering over his sister on their mother's kitchen. God knew what they were doing and he was about to storm in and break them apart when the echoes of his sister's joyful laughter. Retracting his steps, he instead rolled his eyes and went up to his room, the sight of his sister's head rolling back in laughter as Sunghoon smiled at the sight made him feel a little better.

Finally 18 years old, and Riki was ecstatic when he found out that his sister wasn't dating stinky Sunghoon. He was over the moon when he found out that she was dating basketball captain Lee Heeseung. That meant he could get closer to him and heighten his chances on getting in the team right? He liked to think it would. The longer her sister dated Lee Heeseung, the longer the light in her sister's eyes disappeared.

Riki was worried, but he thought it was all good because atleast it isn't Sunghoon she's dating. Although the next few months, he started seeking the figure skater. He noticed how frequent his sister came home with a tear stricken face, he noticed how she started wearing baggy clothes, the bags under her eyes were darkening each day.

Walking through the university's hallway and trying to find one person surely isn't easy, but Riki pushed through. Waiting infront of the locker, he visibly brightened when his eyes fell on his figure.

Sunghoon was confused and weirded out, if you were to ask him. It was the first time he has seen the once small insolent child who used to give him the stink eye wave at him with a smile that reached his ears.

"Hyung!" Riki exclaimed, dapping him up. If he noticed the older's awkwardness in his action, he didn't point it out. "I need your help." the younger expressed with worried eyes.

And before Sunghoon could deny, Riki mentioned your name and instantly..

"What happened to her?"

Riki led Sunghoon to your room and watched him enter, he peeked through the small gap through the door. As much as he used to dislike the way stinky Sunghoon hug his sister back then, he was much more relieved now as he witnessed the older man cradle you in his chest.

It has been so long since Sunghoon has visited you home, mainly because you had a boyfriend and he wanted to respect the boundaries, after all he was just a friend.

Riki, as much as he didn't want to admit, missed Sunghoon. He didn't miss his presence, no. He missed Sunghoon because he made you laugh, he made you happy, and he consistently made sure you were safe everywhere you went.

And as Riki watched you bury your face in Sunghoon's neck, he walked away with his chest puffed, feeling accomplished in reuniting you both again.

[astonmartinii]

hi, i was wondering if you could do one of y/n dating carlos but people start realizing she flirting with charles in the comments, at the beginning in a very discreet way, but after a while she and carlos break up and when the new season starts she’s with charles

all is fair in love and war | charles leclerc instagram au

pairing: charles leclerc x reader

y/n is happy in her relationship with carlos but all that time in the ferrari garage might have her eye wandering

(obvs no intentions to demonise anyone, this is a work of fiction and purely for entertainment purposes)

yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc and 55,607 others

tagged: yourbff1, yourbff2

yourusername: no one i'd rather play mermaids with than you two xx

view all 9,231 comments

yourbff1 always the best time with you guys <3

yourbff2 platonic soulmates for real

carlossainz55 my pretty lady

yourusername thank you baby

charles_leclerc i thought i was your baby ?

yourusername just cause you act like a baby doesn't make you mine x

user5 what is going on here lol

user12 not them flirting under her own boyfriend's comment i can't

user34 god i wish i was her

carlossainz55

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 112,309 others

carlossainz55: let's go spa - the second half of the season is a go!

view all 13,405 comments

scuderiaferrari let's go smooth operator

yourusername good luck baby

charles_leclerc where's my good luck

yourusername i'm literally sat with you right now

user33 the hair routine is a need not a want

user19 charles and y/n once again flirting in the comments - am i the only one who finds it weird?

uer13 i mean a bit? but also like the comments are clearly jokes

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, pierregasly and 452,091 others

charles_leclerc: monza ready 🇮🇹

view all 14,562 comments

pierregasly you clean up well calmar

yourusername part time driver, full time model

charles_leclerc you'd know all about being a model

user48 i know there's weird vibes with carlos and y/n but like as far as we know they're still together so ^^^ that is still weird

user20 call me a bad person but i want charles and y/n to get togetehr

user1 no cause their vibes have always seemed much more suited than hers and carlos

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, yourbff1 and 60,076 others

yourusername: the only man i'll ever need is mauricio (even if his hair has ruined 50% of my wardrobe)

view all 11,066 comments

user47 this caption... something is off

user60 carlos hasn't liked either and he just posted on his story so he's been active on the app

charles_leclerc but does mauricio have a boat?

yourusername you got him there

user8 okay but like at this point does she just come with the ferrari seat?

user3 tbf i wish i could be with both carlos and charles

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 223,098 others

carlossainz55: time well spent with family ❤️

view all 15,203 comments

user44 okay i'm going full conspiracy mode, but y/n has always visited carlos' family with him and the fact she's not been seen at a race since she was left at the airport... i think they've broken up

user11 noooo they were my faves but i think you might be right :(

scuderiaferrari can't wait to see them back in the garage

landonorris where was my invite?

user2 y/n rn^

f1wagsupdates

liked by user1, user2 and 220 others

tagged: yourusername, charles_leclerc

f1wagsupdates: charles and y/n y/ln seen together in abu dhabi - this comes just weeks after her and carlos' break up... do we think that all those flirty comments mean they did actually cheat?

view all 13 comments

user35 they defo cheated but it's also charles so like i'd also be tempted

yourusername people can just be friends you know

user45 so true !! also like carlos has already been spotted with a new girl multiple times all the way back to when he left her at the airport, but for some reason he's the victim ???

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, yourbff1 and 61,207 others

tagged: yourbff1

yourusername: despite popular belief i am a single woman

view all 10,455 comments

charles_leclerc doesn't have to be for long

pierregasly man, you're playing a dangerous game

yourusername maybe we like a bit of danger

user32 yep i'm officially on the charles and y/n train

user10 i know we've said they're probably just joking but i genuinely hope they get together, they seem like they're good for each other

carlossainz55

liked by scuderiaferrari, landonorris and 429,561 others

carlossainz55: no better way to do winter break

view all 14,034 comments

user13 they're so so cute

user55 omg maybe carlos might actually have a girlfriend who doesn't constantly flirt with his teammate

user30 the way that she's still be demonised for harmless comments when he was seen with isa way before carlos and y/n broke up and got with her officially within a week of the breakup

comments have been limited on this post

yourusername added to their story

[caption: pasta day is my favourite day]

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, pierregasly and 709,822 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: all is fair in love and war

view all 94,034 comments

user56 HOLY SHIT

user21 AHHHHHHHHHHHH

yourusername i'd fight this war all over again to end up with you

user48 I KNEW THEY WOULD BE CUTE

user88 okay now i don't feel so bad for rooting for them

f1wagsupdates

liked by user5, user9 and 330 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, yourusername

f1wagsupdates: though controversial in the way it came about, i for one love this relationship - what do you guys think?

view all 14 comments

user11 carlos did this and way sooner so i am defo a fan of this relationship

user49 they slay i don't care what anyone says

user2 i love it and she's a smart queen cause she doesn't even need to buy any more new merchandise

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 98,134 others

yourusername: made the super long journey to the garage next door

view all 17,560 comments

user31 she's so so pretty

charles_leclerc thank you for making such selfless sacrifices

yourusername good thing you're worth it

user41 i need to meet her

user10 the shady hand covering the other one

charles_leclerc

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 1,023,671 others

tagged: yourusername, scuderiaferrari

view all 21,067 comments

user46 SLAY CHARLES

yourusername pretty boy with a pretty trophy - i'm so so proud of you xx

charles_leclerc you're much prettier than my trophy baby

user90 parents

carlossainz55 happy for both of you

charles_leclerc thanks bro

yourusername it was unorthodox but we're both happy now and that's all that matters

note" hope you enjoyed, this ended up so much longer than expected but i had a lot of fun writing this !! my asks are still open for any other requests xx

[connabeth]

rick really woke up and said "what if i give the people what they want for once" and gave us grumpy black cat introvert percy and sunshine golden retriever extrovert annabeth we never knew we needed

also no one's talking about how percy made friends with annabeth's college's security guard (Florence or smthn?) so he's the only one allowed to walk in her campus anytime?

also I found a typo in the third chapter where dave was accidentally called paul which I found really funny

1) i’m glad this series is doing justice to annabeth’s personality because she spent so much of pjo & hoo caught in an inner turmoil of hurt and uncertainty and self-loathing and insecurity and fear given the circumstances of luke’s betrayal and percy’s imminent death. in spite of it all, she was still a bastion of hope and light throughout those books, but she deserves to be silly and unburdened by the weight of the world now that she has percy back and there’s no big prophecy (unresolved trauma aside). i think, in her mind, even though new, crazy things keep being thrown at them and she most certainly deals with a latent fear of losing percy at any moment, she’s resolute and confident that they can overcome anything that gets in their way of their dream of going to college and finding peace together because she feels that invigorated and wants it that bad. even if greco-egyptian gods or a triple goddess or a mortal apollo pop up throughout their senior year. i feel like she’s giving herself the freedom to just let go, breathe, be sure everything will be okay in the end, and just be excited about things without drowning in worry for once, which i love. she deserves to feel that childlike enthusiasm she was deprived of for so long. her confidence that they’ll be okay extends to percy being able to complete all his classwork and applications, which in turn reinforces his determination.

2) as for percy, he’s definitely the more outwardly insecure out of the two, mainly because of how his academic prowess pales in comparison to hers and the fact that he feels he doesn’t deserve her and she’s way better than him. percy thinking her SODNYC friends perceive him in the same critical light obviously isn’t helping. it’s evident in the way he’s amazed when he looks at her, disbelieving for a second that she’s his girlfriend, and how he observes her interaction with others more similar to her, feeling like an outsider who can’t understand that part of her brain the way her friends can. it’s even more abundantly clear when he believes “She would always succeed whether I was around or not,” which in theory is a sweet sentiment to have about your very capable girlfriend, but academic and social success aside, she needs him as much as he needs her and she’d see no point in being in california without him. but his insecurities and easy jealousy prevent him from fully understanding this even if he innately knows it’s a universal truth that they’re meant to be together. however, all this being said, percy’s characterization in wottg so far is a little…weird. in order for you to literally pee your pants, something must scare you or catch you off guard really, really bad. so while it makes sense for him to fear a powerful goddess, wetting his boxers seems like an extreme reaction. i know rick was probably just trying to insert immature humor, but the implications are not what he was going for considering this is the boy who didn’t have that reaction staring down titans and giants and nyx and tartarus himself. so forgive me if i think it’s a little insane that percy having such a visceral reaction to a goddess 13 year old hazel fared well against is out of character, even after taking into consideration his fear of not receiving and completing the remaining quests on time. it makes sense for him to be nervous and on edge, given the quiet of the past month, but that amount of fear towards a deity who’s not the most scary thing he’s faced down is an interesting choice since rick isn’t known for realistic depictions of PTSD and that likely isn’t the intention here. it’s also curious how it’s implied even a goddess as primordial as aphrodite caves in to hecate…

3) florence is the goat and i love percy making random friends to help his cause. he doesn’t go out of his way to befriend others in the mortal world unless they approach him first or there’s an opportunity there. and the fact that annabeth can a casually ask her friend to cover for her being gone from her dorm for several days makes me think this is far from the first time she’s snuck out for prolonged periods of time👀

4) this is an INSANE typo to have in a book because clearly not a single person proofread it and it doesn’t surprise me that it got past rick, but becky and several rounds of editors and everyone else in his circle who’s read the book not picking up on it prior to publication is wild. rick is too eager to have his self-insert be everywhere and it shows💀

[jjkilll]

-—--—-—-✫ 4ME 4ME | JJK ✫-—-——-—

— pairing | bestfriend jk x y/n | friends to lovers

— summary | jungkook involuntarily signs you up to be his wing-woman at an upcoming party, and you're saying all the wrong things.

—  warning | smut, choking, spit, cum, cum-eating? fingering kinda, unprotected sex (please for the love of god, use a rubber), drinking, ass slapping (like once), and dirty talk? really explicit (i feel idk)

— word count | 2.5K

— song | 4Me 4Me - Malcolm Todd

Jungkook never drank or smoked too much at these parties, he had to ensure you and him made it back safe every time you went out. So, this night you were especially drunk and high, the music was loud, and dancing, and drinking games had you so preoccupied you forgot truly why you were here. Which was your plan exactly.

You and Jungkook grew up together, your mothers were best friends and you two did everything together. Christmas, Halloween, New Year, Easter, you name it, you and Jungkook matched somehow. You also developed a crush on Jungkook the summer you turned 13. It was weird, you found his cute instead of gross. You always wanted him around, you made sure it was that way. You used to tell girls who thought Jungkook was all the weird shit he'd do.

"He snores... loudly."

"He chews with his mouth open."

"His farts are deadly... you wouldn't last two minutes."

It wasn't until you're mom overheard you once and asked why you say those (very true) just personal things about him. You told your mom you might have a crush on him and she warned you to prioritize your friendship and follow your heart.

Except following your heart led you into being a wing-woman for the man you were in love with. Not fun. Jungkook walked up to you as you danced. "What? Can it wait until this song is over?" You shouted over the loud Tove Lo blasting from the speakers. "No. I need to talk to you." He protested grabbing your hand and pulling you out of the crowd. "Y-you are a party pooper, what couldn't wait until a-after my song?" you stutter drunkenly. "My god, you smelled like vodka," Jungkook says handing you some water. "I don't need that shit Jungkook, I'm having fun." You pout, he rolls his eyes dragging you away and sneaking into you the library of the home.

"Holy shit it's fire in here. Wait, Whose house is this even?" You laugh at yourself nearly falling to the ground. "Can you pull it together, please? Jesus Christ. Taehyung said you were drunk but I didn't realize you were this drunk."

"Is that why you had him follow me around? Why were you keeping tabs on me?" You ask standing as your laughing fit wears off. "To make sure you don't tell any more girls that I snore." You went quiet unsure of what to say and you felt your tummy turn. "What do you mean?" you asked acting clueless, sobering yourself up.

"Don't ask stupid with me, Y/n. Stella told me you told her that I snore and I always put my batteries in upside down. The shit is just really hard to read, okay?" You swallow.

Jungkook is a handsome man, anyone could see that, he was sweet and caring and truly the only reason chicks weren't all over him was you. They never liked the closeness and when they got over your relationship with Jungkook, it felt like you were losing him. He was the most important person in your world. You've never known a good time without him. So you started being weird and telling little shit about him that would turn them off sooner than later, giving them a chance to accept it.

Truth was you loved his snoring, it was like weird white noise for you. When he put his batteries in wrong he'd always ask you. So the thought of him eventually asking someone else hurt you more than it should have.

You sit on the long L-shaped sofa that takes up the right wall.

You look up noticing the skylight "I'm sorry I just can't do this." You say. Quickly Jungkook sits beside you, "What's going on with you, Y/n? You've been asking weirdly since I asked you about the whole wing-woman thing. You could've told me no, I would've never made you do it." He says.

"No, I'm sorry for what I'm about to say. I said all those things. I did. I don't feel bad though. It's selfish I know but I want to be with you. You make me crazy, and if I hadn't listened to my mother when I was thirteen I wouldn't even have known this pain. I can't sit back while you fall for someone that's not me, because I fell for you years ago. Seeing you with other girls hurt me to no end. When they hurt you I felt a rage that I couldn't even express because all I know is I would give you every ounce of my love if it killed me." You breathed deeply realizing you had begun the cry. He hasn't looked at you, you realized that too.

"and you- you can't even look at me. You don't look at me, I can't even understand that, Jungkook. So I'm sorry I hurt you because never want to hurt you, but I'm not sorry for not wanting to lose my best friend."

For the first time in a long time, Jungkook looked at you as you sobbed in front of him. "I just wanted some of you before you choose someone whose not me." Your tears blurred your vision.

"Y/n...Why didn't you say anything to me?" He asks wiping the tears from your face. "Because what good was it going to do, you don't even see me that way. I want to do things that friends don't do." You spoke slowly sniffling through your tears. "Like this?" He says grabbing your chin and placing a soft kiss on your lips. You nod eyes wide and lips unsure of what to say next.

You kiss him desperately. Hungryily, his hands find your waist pulling you on top of him. "I used to jerk off to you." He says breathily breaking the kiss."What?" you chuckle.

"It was your 13th birthday and you had on this pink bikini and I instantly got a boner. So when I told you I needed to sleep for a bit I went upstairs and jerked off the thought of you in the bathroom." You look at him a little shocked. He scans your body.

"13-year-old me would have never ever believed this." He spoke grabbing at your waist. You kiss him lightly, "I only asked you to do the wing-woman thing, because I was hoping you'd find someone just like you." He kisses you deeply. Your lips part, still close enough he whispers, "So I could stop dreaming about you." You kiss him roughly, nibbling at his bottom lip. "You can have me... all of me." You slip the straps of your dress down revealing your tits. "No more dreaming." You whisper.

"Fuck, you're going to be the death of me." He kisses down your neck, kissing your nipple before he swirls his tongue around your erection bud. You gasp. He looks up at you and you leak. His eyes are lustful, no, hungry. He craves you.

"Please." You whimper. "Whatever you want, baby. I'll give you whatever you want." He growls hungrily. You lift his face and kiss him. "Fuck me." You whisper against his ear. He groans at your lewdness. "That mouth is gonna be the death of me." He speaks before leaving a hickey on your neck. "Wait til it's wrapped around your cock." You say breathlessly. He moans, "Fuck." He quickly hikes up your dress pulling it over your head. "You are so pretty, gonna ruin your little body." He says before slapping your left ass cheek and squeezing it. You whimper at the sting from his slap.

He slips his hand in your panties running his fingers over your slit. "You're so wet for me, baby." He says looking at his fingers covered in your slick. He puts his fingers to his lips before he sucks them. "mm taste so fucking good." He groans. "Wanna taste?" He teases. "Kook please." You grind against him whining. He kisses you deeply. "Shh, I got you baby."

You lean back undoing his belt and pants, shuffling them down. You stop before pulling down his boxers. Jungkook looks at you. "What's wrong?" He asks. "Nothing I... I just wanted this for so long." You admit. "You don't have to wait anymore, baby. I'm all yours." If your panties weren't soaked before they're drenched now. You peck his lips before stroking him through the thin fabric of his boxers. "Fuck." He huffs, watching your ever move.

He assumed Jungkook had a big dick, you heard the girls he'd bring home beg him to fuck them harder. But his dick, his dick was thick and long. You weren't sure he'd fit. You pull his boxers down watching his cock spring free. You hadn't seen a lot of dicks before but, Jungkook's dick was the prettiest you'd ever seen. His pretty pink tip leaked pre-cum.

"You're so big." You mumble. You gather spit in your mouth before letting it drip onto his cock. "My fucking god." He whispers. You stroke him slowly. You feel your pussy pulse, the thought of his cock stretching you out made you feral. Before you can even realize Jungkook flips you over so you're underneath him. He quickly pulls down your panties. Your pussy on full display. "My god, even your pussy is pretty." You whine bucking your hips up. "I'm sorry baby, I'll stop teasing."

He rubs the tip of his cock between your fold, and you moan as he rubs against your clit. He slowly sinks into you and you shiver. You moan clenching around him. "Fuck Jungkook my god," you scream. He bottoms out, filling you up nicely. You think you could come before he even moves. He pulls out before thrusting back into you at a moderate pace. He grunts fucking into you. "This is the best pussy ever. S-so fucking tight."

You claw at his back, "Choke me, Daddy." You whine. Jungkook throbs at the nickname you've given him. His hand wraps around your throat as he fucks into you harder hitting the spot that makes you see stars. You mumble out a string of unintelligible words as the knot in your tummy loosens. "Like when I fuck you like this, hm? When I choke you?" You don't respond too lost in the pleasure. You moan and whimper, "Awe, too fucked out you can't even answer me. Tightly little pussy." He spits on your clit rubbing circles on your clit.

"Fuck! Fuck! Daddy, I'm coming. Just like that, please just like that." He fucks into you at the same pace. "Cum on my cock baby, that's it." You fall apart moaning almost pornographic like. "You sound so pretty cumming for daddy." Your eyes roll back as he fucks you through your orgasm.

"Oh my god, it's too much." You say coming down from your high, still sensitive from your first orgasm. "I'm so fucking close. Where?" He asks quickly. "Inside, cum inside of me." Just like that Jungkook paints your walls with his cum. He moans emptying himself inside of you.

He pulls out slowly watching his cum drip out of you. "Jesus." He breathes out flopping beside you. You gather some of his cum on your fingers and lick them clean. "Mm, yummy." You say with a chuckle. "You are so fucking dirty, I'm jealous of all the guys you fucked before me." You laugh. "Well luckily," You start sitting up, "You get to have me forever." You say with a smile. "That's only if you want." You add, not wanting to add any pressure to your newfound relationship. "Fuck yeah, I want you!" He says looking at you as if you'd just grown three heads. "We can get married tonight, If you want an Elvis or MJ, I'm fine with whatever." He jokes as you laugh climbing on his lap. He grabs your waist pulling you in for a small kiss. "Will you um..." He looks you in the eyes.

"What?" you ask. He looks a little nervous. "I'm still me Jungkook. I'll always be your best friend." He smiles. "I know, that's why I want to do this right. I was thinking maybe... I could take you out." He breathes out. You kiss his nose, "I would love to, Where to?" You ask cutely. "I was thinking somewhere downtown?" He asked. "What!? No, Kook, that's too expensive. You don't have to-" He stops you. "No, when have we ever gone out to a nice dinner, just us?" You hum. "See. So, I'm taking my pretty girl out." You smile. "Say it again." You say.

"Say what?" He asks tucking one of your loose curls behind your ear. "I'm yours." You speak simply. "My beautiful girl. All mine."

You look up, the ceiling is glass and you can see the moon. Big and bright it shone through. "Look." He tilts his head back. "Wow, that's beautiful." He looks back at you.

"Y/n?" You hum looking back down at him. "I'm sorry I kept you waiting." You kiss him. "I love you." He admits.

"I love you more." You say with a smile. "I'll love you forever." He says. "Also I love when you call me Daddy. That shit is really hot." You hit his chest before standing up. "Let's go, Taehyung is probably on the roof looking for you." He laughs.

You fix your dress and walk over to Jungkook, brushing the wrinkles out of his shirt. "You look good in this. I meant to tell you earlier." You say looking at his outfit. "Thank you, baby." He says with a smile. You grab his hand walking to the door. "You're welcome, Daddy." He turns pulling you close to him. "Maybe we should stay in here a little longer. Round 2?" You laugh pushing him away. "Come on, Kook."

You rejoin the party and run into Taehyung in the hall. "Where were you?" He asks drunkenly. "Uhh..." Jungkook stalls looking at you. "The library. Cool ceiling, you should check it out." You say, "Oh! Where's the bathroom." Looking to Jungkook as he points to the door down the hall. You let go of his hand going into the bathroom.

Taehyung looks to Jungkook, after watching you walk away. "You two slept together." He states, already sure of the truth. "What?!" Jungkook almost screams. "The hand-holding, s-she finally doesn't look annoyed with y-you, and the fa-act that you have that stupid grin on your f-face." He slurs. "No-" Taehyung puts his hand in his face before he can continue. "Shut it. Y-you can't lie to me. Now i owe Jimin $100."

"You bet on if me and Y/n would have sex?" Jungkook asked shocked. "Duh, I said it would happen next week. Fuck Jimin and his g-good timing." He says before walking away.

You walk out of the bathroom and find Jungkook standing in awe. "What?" you ask. "They bet on if we'd have sex." You laughed throwing your head back. "Doesn't shock me. I bet that you'd sleep with Jackie next door. I got $200 that day." You reminisce. "You're terrible." He jokes. "But you love me." you say walking away.

"That I do, baby."

✫ -----------------------✫

a/n: I saw Malcolm Todd is April and I'm just missing him so this is a random song I'm sorry, not sorry. Please enjoy, liking, reposting and requests are so very greatly appreciated.

[normal-internet-user]

Hii! How are you?

I was hoping you could do a one shot or hcs for a platonic/sibling PJO thing with Percy. I was thinking this kid shows up at camp-half-blood (their age being like 11-13) and being like a carbon copy of Percy and everyone notices except for him. They become pretty close and during a capture the flag game the Reader gets claimed by Poseidon, and Percy is just in shock like: 😲 holy moly

I think it would be really cute and I love big bro Percy

The reader is gender neutral

This is completely /nf and feel free to delete it if you don't want to! Thank you so much! Remember to drink water and take care of yourself!

-Axel <3

Ahhh this is actually such a cute IDEA-

Percy With a Child Of Poseidon Reader...

When you showed up to camp, no one really thought much of it.

The Titan war was over, demi-gods were showing up left and right, getting claimed along the way.

The thing that was weird was your lack of the latter.

Weeks after you arrived you were still unclaimed, with no change in sight.

It frustrated Percy because the gods had literally JUST promised not to leave any kids unclaimed.

As a result, he decided to spend time with you, just because he noticed you were feeling slightly put out at your lack of a godly parent.

Percy seemed to be the only one who hadn't noticed that the two of you next to each other was like looking back and forth between a mirror of features.

Everyone else did though.

Annabeth really did try to just- nudge him in the direction that MAYBE POSSIBLY-

But no, Percy was as oblivious as a blind cat after you moved the furniture.

Honestly he liked hanging out with you.

It made him feel good to know he was keeping you occupied instead of thinking about not being claimed.

He felt like an older brother ironically enough.

He had you sit with him during meals, and during activities he was with the Hermes cabin most of the time to help you.

Your very first capture the flag was exciting for him,

Him helping you put on your armor before plopping am oversized helmet on your head was like a mother watching their watching their child ride a bike for the first time.

He was so proud!

Sure you tripped over yourself and fell on your face, but that's okay! Everyone stumbles sometimes!

You're doing great!

Honestly, it was his fault for not helping you tie your shoes.

It was safe to say, the two of you had sufficiently bonded.

Which must have been the reason Poseidon decided to claim you now of all times.

He must really like capture the flag if that's how he claimed both his kids.

Percy was floored, and incredibly confused.

Everyone else was more or less like, "yeah saw that one coming." and you were trying to look up at the floating trident over your head through your helmet.

Percy feeling a whirlwind of emotions.

Confusion, excitment, slight frustration- but mostly excitement.

He was confused as to how as a child of Poseidon you'd managed to stay alive this long.

Unless your mortal parent had also kept a Gabe around to hide your demigod smell.

The thought made him wince.

He was practically vibrating when he showed you around Cabin 3.

You'd seen it before, sure, but now it was your cabin as much as his.

He wouldn't be sleeping alone anymore and he was exstatic about it.

And he can't wait to introduce you to Tyson too.

And his mom, oh she's gonna love you.

Especially if your mortal parent isn't in the picture either by choice or tradgedy.

Percy was gonna be the best big brother ever, it was his job to protect you now, so he would.

Ta-da! This is legit, the first thing I have posted in FOREVER holy shit, it felt SO good to write this out, like-

Anyway, all done! Here you go, I wanted to keep going but I figured it was long enough lol

[icaruspendragon]

i think the most unexpected part of being a content creator has been just how much parasocial relationships warped my perspective.

like i knew sharing parts of my life with strangers on the internet would mean that even if they didn’t feel like i was a stranger to them, they were all still strangers to me.

and i share more parts of myself online than most. so lots of these people really do know so many things about me, and because of that, sometimes i forget they’re strangers who don’t actually know me.

like someone will leave a comment that i think is funny so i share it with my groupchat and they’ll be like, “berklie, this is actually a really weird thing for a stranger to say to you.” and my response is almost always “oh. 🧍🏻‍♂️”

it’s like i’ve gotten desensitized to people saying what most would consider out of pocket stuff to me. or maybe my threshold for what i consider out of pocket is higher than it should be.

i’m incredibly fortunate in that 99% of what’s said to me is lovely and respectful and that the vast majority of my audience treats me with kindness.

there’s so much talk about people having parasocial relationships, but no one really talks about what it’s like to be on the receiving end of those relationships. and like i know that no one is making me put myself out there like this, that it’s a choice i willingly make.

and i’ve been on the internet for 13 years now, which is literally half my life. i know what it’s like.

i was on this site in 2012 and fanfic.net in 2011. i know how awful and vile anonymity makes some folks get, but there’s a purgatory-esque space i didn’t know existed. and that space is where people aren’t mean, but they aren’t exactly nice, either. they’re weird. and not in a fun way. they’re invasive. and i’ve been exposed to it for so long i only notice when it’s extreme.

and if you follow me and you read this and are thinking, oh god. is she talking about me? the answer is no, i’m not.

i have lots of folks, especially those who comment/interact frequently, that i think of as my “regulars.” these are people i recognize and even go so far as to think about outside of whatever platform i’m posting on. and even if they don’t interact with my content super frequently, i recognize these users. i remember a lot more about people than folks might think.

these people aren’t the problem.

it’s the people who see i’m a person but forget that i’m human, if that makes sense. like of course people objectively know i’m a person. but i think sometimes they forget i’m human. and that i can read. and that i have feelings.

there have been several times where i called someone out for saying inappropriate shit to me and their response has been, “i’m so sorry. i didn’t think you’d see it.”

but i do see it. even if i don’t publicly acknowledge it, i see everything.

i think some people think just because they see more of me that i can’t see any of them. but i do.

so please, please remember i may just be a person that lives in your phone to you, but i’m a human who lives outside of it, too.

regardless of familiarity, i deserve to be treated like i have an existence outside of people’s screens. because i do.

despite appearances or perspective, at the end of the day, i’m just like you.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

my favorite scully and mulder moments from s1

the evergreen classic mulder reaction to a terrified scully knocking at his door in the very first episode- how he checks over her, holds her close, and brings her into his room

(and then ANOTHER instance of examining each other for aliens in episode 8 which was wild. if i had a nickel for each time they had to look at each other's bodies for evidence of aliens, i'd only have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but its weird that it happened twice)

him playing with scully's necklace in episode 3, while admitting he feels "territorial"

the first time he calls scully "dana", right after her father dies- which surprises her so much she mumbles her name back to herself- and he follows up by grabbing her face and gently running his finger over her cheek

(and the first time she tries to call him "fox", after he had been awake for 3 straight days on a stakeout, and she begs him to go home- he laughs and says he even made his parents call him mulder)

((still, she brought him a sandwich and a drink- “if there’s an iced tea in that bag, could be love” “must be fate- root beer”))

scully in Doctor Mode™ after mulder got stuck in the fire in episode 12, trying to give him water as he lays in bed, while he gets all emo and pushes her hand away

when scully gets kidnapped in episode 15 and mulder calls her "dana" again over the phone, her first name slipping out in his fear, then he tells the kidnapper "listen to me, you lay one hand on scully, and so help me god..."

(and THEN he tells everyone going on her rescue mission that this is a very important mission to him, so please everybody do their best)

the endless banter: "i still don't get it. what does this have to do with us?" "robbing a jewelry store is a federal crime" (flatly) "thank you."

when he is at an autopsy with scully in episode 18 and makes it very clear he does Not Want To Be There (but she still is sad he won't join her on her next one in episode 22!)

"happy birthday scully!" (pause of confusion) "you're two months early!"

when she finally listened to the psychic to get evidence for a case in episode 13, trying to make mulder proud- "i'd thought you'd be pleased i'd opened myself to extreme possibilities"- only for him to yell at her for putting herself in danger

(later in the same episode she screamed at the criminal, saying that if he did anything to mulder, she'd kill him herself)

((AND their conversation at the end of that episode when mulder is laying in a hospital bed: "why can't you believe?" "i'm afraid"))

the very empire strikes back coded fighting in the arctic compound in episode 8

"you think it's remotely plausible that someone might think you're hot?" (stunned silence. scholars are still trying to figure out what was going on here)

oh, this one made me weepy: "i have never met anyone so passionate and dedicated to a belief as you. it's so intense, sometimes it's blinding. but there are others who are watching you, who know what i know, and whereas i can respect and admire your passion, they will use it against you. mulder, the truth is out there, but so are lies" aka the episode 17 monologue… what if i melted into a puddle? how would you react to this news? how about mulder the protector turning into mulder the protected?

(also, episode 17 had a moment where he grabbed her shoulder and leaned in and i had to restrain myself)

them having hand signals to indicate watch what you say, we’re being listened to

in episode 18, the preacher’s kid tries to taunt mulder with information about his sister and scully tries to shut him down Immediately

they’re looking for each other in the dark in episode 19 while a wild beast is on the loose and mulder finally kicks open the door and finds scully while she whispers “it’s okay, it’s me, it’s okay”

episode 20, when he shows her a bunch of lumberjacks, which he describes as “rugged manly men in the full bloom of their manhood” and he says she should look for anything unusual or a boyfriend among them... and she laughs

scully losing her mind when the evil cocoon bugs get on her, screaming at mulder to get them off of her, while he holds her still and explains it’s okay as long as they're in the light

(and then they sit on the bed, side by side, talking through the night)

when mulder’s friend dies and she kneels and says to him, “you’ve been through a lot… more than I think you realize” and encourages him to take some time for himself

any episode where they both wear big coats (for the snow in episode 8, or the rain in 20) is an instant classic to me

“mulder, you’re rushing me out of the room… is there a girl coming over?” from episode 11... yeah I laughed. and then laughed even more when he was just hanging out with deep throat in the next scene!

episode 23’s “how was the wedding? Did you catch the bouquet?” “maaaaybe 😊”

and who can forget the finale! she apologizes for doubting his alien leads; “I should know by now to trust your instincts” “why? no one else does” (both smile and i, once again, collapse)

there's so much to unpack here and i could spend a lifetime doing it, but before i watch s2 for the first time i needed to make note of the things that especially made me happy or brought great angst to the forefront; i am studying their dynamic and putting it in a bottle <3

[strniohoeee]

Abscond

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Matt and Y/N had that cute innocent teenage love, but what happens when Y/N’s life is flipped upside down; and he’s the one that got away?🫂

Warnings⚠️: None….hope you enjoy this one tho…she cute or whateva🤭

Song for the imagine: The One That Got Away-Katy Perry

Never planned that one day

I’d be losing you

In another life

I would be your girl

“Is that the last box?” My mom asked me as I walked into the front door

“Yes finally, never realized how much stuff I had” I said walking up the stairs to my bedroom

“Well you were away for a good 5 years” she said laughing

“True, didn’t feel like I had so much stuff though” I said laughing

“I’ll let you unpack, and I’ll start some dinner” she said walking away

“Okay! I’ll be down in a few” I said walking up to my room

I stepped into my room placing the last box down….god this room needed some major upgrades. Can’t believe this is what my room looked like when I was 16…who did I think I was

I started to unpack some things, mainly my clothes and some trinkets.

“This room is such a disaster” I said looking around and laughing to myself. I can’t believe my mom left my room the same since I was 16….shes so weird.

I headed down to eat and chat with my mom after I cleaned up some more.

“Mom why’d you leave my room the same” I said laughing

“Well with your father getting full custody, and me knowing your father, and him not wanting you to come here, or me to go there I wanted to keep the memory of you from the last time I would see you” she said smiling

“Yeah dads a dick….Im so glad to be back home. I just missed Boston so much, Arizona is utter crap” I said laughing and drinking some water

“The east coast is better” she said laughing with me

“We have so much stuff to catch up on, and so many things to do” I said getting emotional

“I know. I can’t believe my babies 21 I can not drink with you” she said taking a sip of her wine

“Can’t wait for our drunk nights laughing and crying about random shit” I said

“Those are the best times” she said nodding her head

I had finished eating, and helped my mom clean up the kitchen

“Alright I’m going to head upstairs, and clean up some more, and unpack” I said kissing her on the cheek

“Okay baby, and if you need help let me know” she said drying her hands

“Will do” I said smiling at her before heading back upstairs

I got upstairs and started throwing all my stuff I didn’t want in trash bags for donation, putting more of my clothes away, and putting my new stuff out where my old things were.

I was pretty much done, and I decided to put my shoe container under my bed, I lifted up the skirt of the bed

“Oh god so much dust” I said making a grossed out face

I decided to get the broom and sweep underneath, I was sweeping when all of a sudden two Polaroids flew out from under my bed

“The fuck?” I said leaning down and picking them up, wiping the dust off of them

It was two Polaroids of Matt and I from when we were 16…. Holy shit…

My brows furrowed. When I moved to Arizona I swore I packed these, but I couldn’t find them after days of tearing my room apart

My dad never liked me talking about or speaking to boys, so I assumed he found them and threw them away. I held so much anger towards him for that….and the whole time they’ve been here.

I flipped them over and on the back of the left one it said

“Don’t forget about me I love you-Matt”, and on the right Polaroid it said “be us against the world, in another life I would make you stay”

All my memories started flooding back of Matt and I

Flashback

I was neighbors with the Sturniolos my whole life, but never spoke to the boys. I was always so scared, but one day when I was 13 my mom threw a party and invited them, the triplets and I immediately became friends.

We went to the same high school, and had most of the same classes together. They were the best things to have happened to me. By the time we were 16 I started to realize that I may have liked Matt, but was always so scared to tell him

One night I was just so fed up of never saying anything to him, so I got up and walked over to their house, texting Matt to meet me outside

“Hey Y/N are you alright?” He asked shutting the door behind him

“Yeah I’m good, I’ve just been thinking about some things” I said smiling at him

“Oh? Tell me” he said walking down the steps

“Walk with me?” I asked

“Yeah let’s go” he said following me

“So uh I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m not sure that you’ll feel the same way, but Matt I really like you” I said looking over at him

“Like, like me like me, or like me as a friend?” He said confused

“No Matt, like I like you. I have a huge crush on you” I said getting shy

“You do?” He said looking at me

“Matt YES” I said looking at him

“Y/N….I have the biggest crush on you too” he said smiling

“You do?” I asked confused

“Yes! Hasn't it been obvious?” He said

“No not really” I said laughing

“Well I do” he said pulling me in for a hug

From that moment Matt and I started dating, spending every second together. There was nothing but laughs, long conversations and overall innocent love you see in the movies.

“Hey Y/N, could I kiss you?” Matt asked me one night while we were watching a movie in my living room

“Yeah….ive never kissed anyone before though” I said getting nervous

“Me neither” he said also getting nervous

“Okay, so this could be a learning curve for us” I said laughing to break the awkwardness

“Uh yeah” he said getting shy

Matt had turned towards me, and leaned in kissing me first. It took me a few seconds to register what happened, and then finally I kissed back.

My stomach exploding with butterflies and fireworks…I never wanted to leave this moment. Matt had pulled away, and from that day on he couldn’t keep his lips off of me, but then again neither could I.

Everything was going good for 6 months, before my mom came home one day stressed and crying

“Mom? What’s going on” I said looking at her

“Baby….im so sorry” she said looking over at me and crying

“Mom what’s going on you’re scaring me” I said getting worried

“Y/N your dad won custody of you” she said looking down

“What? I’m 16. How does he magically get custody of me now?” I said getting upset

“I know baby trust me I tried to fight it, but he’s got a better rep than me” she said shaking her head

“What that’s not true! You’ve been here for me and where has he been? Gone nowhere to be seen…..I can’t believe this” I said shaking my head and letting out a sigh

“Trust me I know. I tried, but they don’t care they just look at his perfect record” she said wiping her eyes

“So what now?” I said scared of what she has to say next

“You have to go move with him” she said avoiding eye contact

“IN ARIZONA?? NO” I said raising my voice

“You don’t understand. We have no choice” she said

“This is so unfair. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave you, and my friends and I don’t want to leave Matt” I said starting to cry

“I know you don’t, and I’m so sorry that you have to do this, but there’s no other choice” she said shaking her head

“When do I leave?” I asked

“Two weeks” she said looking down

“TWO WEEKS! I don’t even get to finish the school year, or properly say bye to my friends and boyfriend” I said shrieking

“Y/N…..this hurts me too okay” she said

“I can’t believe dad…” I said rolling my eyes

I waited till the very last day to tell Matt and his brothers. I couldn’t spend two weeks with them knowing that we’re all hurting while we’re hanging out. So I much rather just tell them the night before I’m leaving. I can’t be here to see their pain

The night before I was leaving I texted Matt asking if I could come over, and he said yes. I walked over, and he let me in

“What’s going on?” He said noticing my demeanor

“I have to tell you and your brothers something” I said sniffling

“Okay yeah we’re in Chris room” he said

We went up to Chris room, and they all looked concerned

“What’s going on? You’re freaking us out” Chris said

“I’m moving…..to Arizona….with my dad” I said avoiding eye contact

“WHAT?” They all screamed

“Yeah I know, he won custody, and now I have no choice” I said crying

“This is bullshit” Matt said

“Trust me Matt I know” I said shaking my head

“When do you leave?” Nick asked

“Tomorrow morning…my flights at 5AM” i said

“What? And you didn’t bother to tell us sooner” Matt said

“I know okay. I just couldn’t sit here and see us all hurting, so I rather rip the bandaid off now, and not have to see the hurt in your eyes” I said wiping my tears

“I can’t believe this” Matt said

“Will you visit?” Nick asked

“I have no clue, my dads like a drill sergeant….he hates my mom, and he will probably hate me too. I’d be lucky if he lets me visit for the holidays” I said

“This is fucked” Chris said

“Very….” I said

“Well instead of being sad let’s try to make these next few hours memorable for you” Nick said smiling

That night we watched movies, and shows and laughed and ate snacks and took pictures and videos to always have one another

“Y/N let’s take Polaroids, so you’ll never forget me in Arizona” Matt said

“I could never forget you” I said looking at him

He pulled me in and snapped two Polaroids of us, writing on the back, and handing it to me

“I love you so much” he said pulling me in for a hug and kiss

“I love you too Matt” I said smiling at him

Later on that night I went back home and packed up the last of my things that I would be carrying with me. I thought I put the Polaroids in my bookbag, but what actually happened was I didn’t close the pocket, and they fell out when I put my bag on causing them to fall under my bed…..

It was 3:00am and my mom was in the car waiting for me. I looked at my room one last time

“I guess I’ll be back one day” I said shutting the light off and closing my door

I walked outside to see Matt and his family talking to my mom

“We’re going to miss you so much” Mary Lou said pulling me in for a hug

“I’m going to miss you guys too” I said sniffling

I hugged all of them, and waited to hug Matt last

“Matt I love you so much, and never forget about me” I said letting a tear slip

“I could never” he said letting a tear slip as well

I pulled him in for a hug, and kissed him

“I guess I’ll see you when I see you” I said to them

“Bye Y/N” they said

As I got in the front seat I waved

“Love yall” I said before getting in

My mom started to drive off as I stared into the side view mirror…..my whole life just gone down the drain….and now I have to start a new life in Arizona with my dad

We had gotten to the airport, and this was my first time flying alone, so I was nervous

“You’re going to be okay baby, I love you and let me know when you landed okay? Call me every single day please” She said letting tears fall

“Don’t cry mom” I said pulling her in for a hug

“How can I not? You’re leaving me” she said

“I’ll be okay, I’ll call you everyday and I love you too” I said before getting out the car

“Love you baby” she said and I shut the door walking to my new life

My dad was an absolute asshole. All we did was fight and yell and bicker. He never let me see my mom. I never went back to Boston, and at 17 when I graduated he put me in a private college. I could’ve left, but by that point I had so much fear in my heart because of him.

I had gotten two jobs so I could save and move out, and go back to Boston. I only did three years of college before dropping out. My dad was fuming, but I was 21, and I was ready to see my mother again

I hadn’t really kept up with the triplets because I didn’t want to endure that pain, but about a year ago I saw they were really famous on youtube. My tik tok page has become full of videos of these people I used to be so close with, and my ex Matt.

It was so crazy to see, but yet again we never spoke to each other for these 5 years.

Flashback Over

“God this is crazy” I said examining these Polaroids of us

I went downstairs to my mom

“Hey mom look what i found” I said shaking her the Polaroids

“Holy shit, you and Matt” she said looking at the pictures

“So crazy how fast 5 years can change everything” I said

“Man yall had such cute innocent love” she said smiling at the pictures

“Yeah I never talked to them again after i left” I said

“Yeah I know they’re mom always asked about you, you know they're super famous on social media now. They were just on tour last I spoke to their mom” my mom said

“Yeah I’ve seen it on my social media pages….its so crazy” I said

“You know Matt’s super cute now” she said winking at me

“Mommmm stop” I said laughing

“I’m just saying, you know You should see if they’re home I know that they live half in LA and half here because of their job” she said

“Mom I doubt they’d remember me or care because it’s been so long” I said rolling my eyes

“You act like you’ve been gone for 20 years, they will remember you” she said laughing

“I don’t know. I feel like we grew apart at this point, so would they really care to see me?” I said

“I’m sure Mary Lou always said they asked about you! Go on” she said shooing me

“Okay” I said giving up

I decided to walk over to the Sturniolos house, knocking and getting super nervous about who would open the door.

I heard walking, and suddenly the door was opening up

“Hi” I heard Mary Lou say as she opened the door

“Hi Mary” I said smiling at her, she looked at me a little confused before suddenly her eyes got wide

“Y/N??” She said shocked

“Yes!” I said smiling at her

“Oh my god! Look at you! You’re all grown up. My god it’s been so long” she said pulling me in for a hug

“I know…. 5 years and 6 days to be exact” I said pulling away from the hug

“Please come in” she said waving me in

We walked to the kitchen where I sat at the island

“Jimmy! Come look who’s here” she yelled

Suddenly Jimmy came in from upstairs

“Holy shit!” He said smiling at me and pulling me in for a hug

“When did you get back?” He asked

“About a few hours ago actually” I said

“Man the boys prayed every day you’d come and visit” he said

“Yeah I know….my dads not the nicest” I said shaking my head

“I figured it was him” Mary Lou said

“Are you back for good?” Jimmy asked

“Yes! I’m back for good” I said smiling

“Oh wait till the boys hear about this” she said

“It’s so insane how fast 5 years go by” Jimmy said

“I know I was saying the same thing earlier….i'm just so glad to be back home” I said

“We are too! Man this is amazing” Jimmy said

“I should call the boys” Mary said, I assumed she meant FaceTime, and that they were back in LA

“They’ll be so happy to see you” she said

I smiled at her, and right before she went to call one of them, the front door opened

I heard three deeps voices laughing and talking

“Oh well never mind they’re home” she said

“We’re in the kitchen” Jimmy yelled out

Chris walked in first with Nick behind him, and then Matt behind Nick

“What the fuck” Chris said looking at me as he stopped in his tracks

“Is this real life?” Nick said looking at me

“Y/N?” Matt said looking at me with a shocked expression

“Yeah” I said smiling at them

The End

Alright guys I hope you liked this one, and lmk your opinions and if I should make a part 2 TEHEHE🤭🤭 love yall so very much, and always thank you for the support and love 🥹🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[spidermans-l-o-v-e-r]

Strawberries and Cream

Pairing: Eddie Diaz x Reader

Word count: 5.8k

Notes: I’m so sorry this is so late, I’m just really sick rn and I feel like that’s just an excuse 🤣🤣🥹🥹but don’t worry because 12 and 13 are actually finished already! So they will be coming out very soon after this one

Episode 11: There’s a First Time for Everything

He asked to use their house.  

Is that stupid? Would you have preferred it at home? No, no you need a little vacation anyway and he knows you like it here… No this will be perfect and it’s in the guest room so you don’t feel awkward. It’s like an Airbnb at this point! And they won’t be home for a month… so it’s not like he’s putting anyone out or anything…

You’ll love it.

He thinks. 

Eddie paces a little as he gets everything set up nicely in the bedroom. There are condoms in the bedside table if you want them, and there are snacks and drinks in the little mini fridge. The blankets are plush and soft and he’s even taken a couple of your favorite stuffed animals that he knows you wouldn’t leave home without and a cute new one he got from Target he thought you’d really like. 

He’s kind of nervous, to be honest, okay he’s a lot nervous. You guys had been spending so much time together lately… maybe now wasn’t the best time… but okay maybe it also was? Because the tension was becoming truly unbearable between the two of you. The sweet lingering glances, the soft kisses, the countless times Eddie did exactly what he was not supposed to do and very very carefully got you off a few times. He’d drag his cum through your folds and paint a pretty little picture for you. Not once did he put it in 

But that was about to change tonight. That is if you wanted.

He made Buck drive you over, he was literally too nervous to do it himself. He was too busy getting the house ready, setting all the moods in every room you guys could possibly end up in. He’d even turned on the lights in the hot tub, the water red hot… literally. 

The doorbell rings and he sighs, smoothing his hair back and straightening out his shirt. It’s just a lounge shirt, he’d told you to wear your pajamas and bring an overnight bag. Just a regular little slumber party! 

He opens the door and smiles, tilting your chin up to kiss you 

“Hello gorgeous” He purrs and you giggle, kissing him back 

“Hi” 

Buck puts his hands on his hips, he’s carrying your overnight bag and a grocery bag 

“Hey! I’m here too!!” 

Eddie leans over and kisses his cheek “Sup sexy” 

You walk in and Buck follows you “That’s more like it” 

He sets your bag down in the foyer and looks around for a minute, slipping his hands into his pockets 

“Welp, you guys have fun!”

You turn to him as you take off your shoes, replacing them with your little bunny slippers 

“Aren’t you staying for a bit? I thought you were?” 

Eddie leans against the wall, looking at him, he narrows his eyes transmitting a little message to that thing Buck calls his brain 

“Nope! I’ve uh- I’ve got plans tonight! With the Bennett’s. Eliza and I are having an old movie night while William gets us snacks!” 

You giggle and walk over, hugging him tightly. He kisses your head and holds you a bit longer, he does that now, and can’t ever seem to let you go 

“Love you kiddo, have fun. And remember, you can always call Daddy Buck to come pick you up if you get scared” 

You toss your head back laughing and push him away “Yeah, yeah whatever, I love you too papa” 

“Thank god you didn’t call him daddy” Eddie laughs and you shrug

“It would be kinda weird calling you both, don’t you think??” 

Buck's mouth drops open and Eddie holds his hands up

“She calls you daddy?!?!”

“She does not call me daddy!”

They yell it at the same time and you laugh even harder, grabbing your duffle bag and dragging it away from them 

“I was about to be so damn hurt if I found out she called you that and you had the audacity not to tell me!!” 

Eddie gives him a weird look “You want me to tell you that your cousin called me daddy??” 

“Okay, it’s gross when you say it like that god Eddie you perv. I’m your best friend, of course, I want all the dirty details!” 

“I’m not. No, I'm not giving you the- god no” 

“Eddie Diaz!” Buck says as he’s opening the door “She’s just gonna tell me anyway!!” 

He turns to you, pretty decently far from them “You’d tell him?!” 

“It’s a girl thing,” You say simply and Buck points at you

“Damn right it is” 

Eddie faceplams, completely hating the both of you in this moment and you both giggle at his expense. 

God why did he have to fall in love with a Buckley. 

“Eddieee” Buck whines and Eddie knows damn well he’s lost this fight. Because truly Buck is his best friend and as pouty and annoying as he is he knows he’d probably end up telling him every detail anyway. He just likes to give him shit for it, because what else are you gonna do on a 24-hour shift?

“You win” Eddie puts his hands in the hair and Buck fist pumps while doing a little dance 

“Y/N you’re sleeping over at Maddie and Chim's !! Eddie and I are having girl time!!!" 

“You guys have fun!” You wave and Eddie forces Buck out of the house now while he screams how much he loves you and to have a good time. He leans against the door for a second, shaking his head before he walks over to you, taking your duffle bag and your hand 

“Would you seriously tell him every detail?”

“Him? Maybe. Maddie? Absolutely” you giggle and Eddie rolls his eyes before scooping you up in his arms, you squeal as he takes you upstairs to put your stuff in the bedroom. 

You guys decide to order dinner instead of going out, you’re kind of in the mood for Applebees so while you’re in the bathroom changing he orders for you two. 

“So I was thinking after dinner we could hit the hot tub?” He asks as he scrolls through DoorDash on his phone 

“Oh yeah sounds good,” You say from around the corner as you change into your real pajamas for the night. Hen had taken you shopping especially for Eddie’s little sleepover plans 

“Or you know two birds one stone have dinner in the hot tub” He jokes and you poke your hand out from the bathroom and flip him off 

“Oh shut up!” 

“Close your eyes!!” You say and he shuts off his phone, crossing his arms over his chest 

“Nah you were mean!!” 

“Eddie!!” You stomp your little bunny and he huffs 

“God fine” he closes his eyes “but only because you’re like the biggest damn baby I know and I know you’ll start crying”

“I will not!!”

“Will too” he teases and you walk over to him, slapping his leg 

“Ow, you little br-“ his words get caught in his throat as he stares at you, his mouth falling open slowly. You’re in the sweetest little pink babydoll he’s ever seen. It’s sheer with feathers covering your breasts and lining the bottom. You do a little spin for him and toss your hair over your shoulder 

“So? What do you think?” 

He can see all of your gorgeous sun-kissed skin and the tiny little sheer thing you’re apparently calling a pair of panties. 

“I thought I'd, you know, dress up a little for you tonight! D-do you like it?” You put your hands behind your back nervously and look at him 

Does he have a corruption kink?? Signs are starting to point straight up to yes 

“U-uh??” He’s short-circuiting. He hasn’t been this bad since he first met you 

“I also thought… that maybe…um, if you’re up for it? We could go skinny dipping” 

Oh god, you’re gonna give him a heart attack. Maybe you already have! Maybe this is heaven. 

“Eddie?” 

Has your voice always been that sweet?? That innocent?? 

You crawl onto the bed and go to straddle his lap, but he knocks you right off and you yelp as you tumble onto the bed 

“Hey!!” 

He jolts out of bed, putting his hands up in front of him 

“I swear to god this night is going to be very short if you sit in my lap now” 

You roll over and laugh into the covers and he pushes your butt out of the air so you’re lying on your side 

“Quit it!!” 

“Do you want me to change?” You’re still giggling as you turn to look at him and he puts his hands on your thighs shaking you slowly 

“Noooo…. No, I can handle it! I just… you’re so gorgeous baby, I just wasn’t expecting this” 

“So you like it?” You ask as he turns you flat on your back and pulls your legs to the edge of the bed

“I really, really like it” he looks at you laying there, your arms up, your body laid out for him… 

“Whatcha thinkin' about?” you ask quietly, biting the tip of your finger and he lets out a frustrated groan, smacking your leg 

“I said quit it” There’s a little growl to his voice and you pull your legs closed, squeezing them together a bit 

“You gonna make me?” 

He looks at you, his eyes darkening with desire and he smirks, pulling your legs back down slowly 

“I’m gonna remember that Sugar cube” He drags his thumb over the front of your panties, relishing in the way your breath hitches. He rubs a slow, torturous circle with a little sadistic smile on his face before pulling his hand back and smacking your cunt. It’s not nearly as hard as he could do it, oh you’re not ready for that. But you squeak, slamming your legs shut and he tilts his head back laughing 

“Oh I’m sorry, did I hurt the baby? Did my little sugar cube not like that?” 

His tone is so condescending and he looks so gleeful as he stares at you, rubbing your thighs together 

“You gonna be a good girl for me? Let us enjoy the evening I have planned? Or…would you rather learn your lesson the hard way. It makes no difference to me”

You stare at him, you’ve never seen him quite like this, of course, you’ve never really gotten to this point before. You knew before coming here tonight what you both were hopefully going to do… and now it seems like you’re trailblazing right towards it 

“I’ll be good,” You say softly and he smiles, pulling you off the bed and picking you up to take you back downstairs 

“That’s my good girl”

Dinner is delivered and Eddie sets you down at the dining room table, he sets your food out for you and pours the same Strawberry wine you’d had on your first date

“This is pretty romantic” You tease him as he clinks glasses with you 

“I told you once, I’ll tell you again. I can be a pretty romantic guy” He winks and you giggle as he pulls your chair closer to him. He kisses your nose before watching you sip from your glass 

“Tastes good?” He asks as he sips his and you nod 

“Of course it does!”

You spend the rest of dinner giggling and joking around with Eddie. He toys with your hair and teases you, poking and prodding and you push his hands away, pouting playfully and telling him to behave. 

He ignores you. 

Because how can he behave when you’re dressed like that, sitting all pretty right next to him, the smell of your perfume enveloping him in the sweetest hug. He can’t wait for it to be all over him, for his lips to be all over your body, kissing you, loving you. 

“Eddie?” You snap in front of his face a couple times and he flinches 

“Huh??”

“I asked if you were done eating? I wanna go watch a movie or something before we hit the hot tub?” You have a little knowing smirk on your face and he glares at you playfully 

“Yeah sure, go put somethin’ on corazón I’ll put the rest of our food away” 

That was a new name 

He gets up from the table, pulls your seat back, and takes your hand to help you up. He kisses it gently, then kisses your cheek and you blush, pushing him away and he chuckles, taking your plates into the kitchen as you skip off to the couch. 

Honestly, you knew these people had money. Since the first time you’d seen the house. But these are the softest, fluffiest, comfiest couches you’ve ever sat on. There’s a large fluffy blanket on the back of the couch and a cute pink basket of snacks on the coffee table. You grab the remote from the basket and cuddle up under the blanket, flipping through Netflix to try and find something 

Eddie had set this area up really cutely, the snack basket was an adorable touch even if you wouldn’t be eating them just yet. He comes into the living room and lifts up one side of the blanket, plopping down on the couch and opening his arms so you can crawl into them 

“Pick anything yet?” 

You crawl up into his lap and cuddle into him, snuggling down into the blanket and continuing to scroll 

“Eh, not really,” you say as he adjusts himself, putting his arms around you and placing his head on yours. You flip over to Disney+ and lean into him, he starts to kiss your neck lightly and you smirk

“You think we’ll actually get through this?” You turn on Deadpool and he relaxes on the couch, dimming the lights with his phone 

“Not if I can help it” 

He wasn’t kidding either. His kisses to your body are light and teasing, his fingers trailing ticklish little paths on your arm. He just wants to touch you, like he can’t get enough of you being here with him, and maybe he can’t. He spent too long away from you, he’s going to be glued to you until the next century. 

You’re not even paying attention to the movie anymore and it’s practically over, in fact, you hadn’t been paying attention to it in quite a while you’re not even sure how it got to Deadpool forgetting his bag in the taxi but that’s where you’re at 

“Do you wanna go in the hot tub now?” You ask breathlessly as Eddie leaves yet another hickey on the nape of your neck near your collarbone. You’re not even sure what the purpose of these panties was, they’re certainly not doing a very good job containing the slick that’s coating your thighs from all his teasing 

“Sounds good to me, beautiful”

You get up from the couch and stretch a little, purposely making that baby doll rise so Eddie can see how wet your thighs are. Not that he definitely couldn’t feel it anyway. He stares at you for a moment, licking his lips and you wink at him before turning on your heel. You smirk a little as you hear him get up and follow after you. 

You walk in front of Eddie, taking off your baby doll and tossing it backward at him. He catches it, holding it close to his chest and inhaling happily 

Fuck he loves strawberries. 

You decide to leave the thong on, just to bother him and walk out to the hot tub. You can hear him stripping behind you as you walk up the steps and sit on the edge of it. You turn to face him and your cheeks flush. His clothes are discarded in a pile with your babydoll to the side, and he’s naked in front of you 

“You’re staring Sugar Cube” he’s got that stupid cheeky grin on his face as he walks up the stairs, his ass bouncing with each step 

“Goddamn” You mumble as he gets into the hot tub, sitting down and leaning back against the wall 

“You gonna get in? Or are you just gonna keep staring at me?” He puts his arms on the wall as you slowly float back down to earth, swinging your legs over the edge and getting in

You wade over to him and snuggle into his side, he drapes an arm over you and kisses your head 

“How’s healin’ going?” He murmurs into your hair and you shrug 

“Not bad, especially with all the help from everyone… and I love being around everyone and it’s so nice being pampered all the time-“

“But?” Eddie chuckles and you sigh, looking up at him with a small smile on your face

“I really, really needed this vacation”

You put your forehead against his before climbing into his lap. You cup his face, your fingers splayed over his cheeks as you kiss him slowly, wrapping your tongue around his and tilting your head, deepening the kiss. He lays his head back slowly as you start to grind on him while placing soft kisses along his jaw 

“You’re gonna start something…” He moans softly, his hands coming to squeeze your hips. He pulls you down on him more, feeling the way you slip easily along his cock 

“Maybe I finally want to” You look him in the eyes and he grins wickedly, getting up and spinning you around so you’re pinned against the side of the tub. He runs his cock through your folds, grinding on your clit and you grip the edge of the tub, little whining noises falling from your lips 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck” He grinds against you, trying his best to be careful and you shudder underneath him, lifting your leg onto the stair on purpose, encouraging him to slip in 

“Your first time is not gonna be in a hot tub” He chuckles breathlessly and you push back against him whining and bracing your hands on the edge of the tub more

“Please, Eddie? Please I need it” you practically sob and he picks you up out of the water, walking up the stairs and onto the deck. He moves quickly and you’re slightly terrified he’s gonna slip but he doesn’t as he makes his way to the bedroom he had all set up. You gasp softly as he kicks the door open, flipping on the lights. A soft pink hue cascades over the room and little fairy lights twinkle from the canopy above the bed 

“Eddie?” Your eyes are wide as he stops for a moment, letting you take it all in. There are rose petals all over the floor and a couple of your candles that are unlit. 

“I-I wanted it to be special for you” he’s blushing now as he carries you over to the bed and sets you down. He grabs a lighter from the bedside table and lights your favorite candles before placing it back in the drawer 

“So. I uh-“ He rubs the back of his head awkwardly“I did bring condoms- if - I mean I will absolutely put one on if you want me to”

“I’m uh- I’m on the pill” You blush and he looks at you, his eyes wide for a second 

“So remember the first time we messed around?” You say sheepishly 

“When you moved in?” 

“Yeah and you literally kinda rubbed your um-“Your cheeks are burning and he smirks at you 

“My what? Pretty girl” 

You glare at him and he smiles so sweetly at you, but his eyes are so dark and hungry and you can feel it stirring up way too many emotions in you 

“Y-your…stuff” 

He tosses his head back laughing, his hand on his chest as he has just a good freaking laugh at your expense. He pushes you down on the bed and you squeak as he leaves you to grab a towel from the bathroom to toss on the floor to stop it from dripping all over it. 

“You mean when I rubbed your pussy with my cum?” He gets on his knees now and you prop yourself up on your elbows quickly 

“You don’t have to be so vulgar!” 

Your mouth drops as he rips a hole in your panties and he looks up at you 

“Don’t I?” He can’t help the way he stares, like you’re the most delicious thing he’s ever seen in his entire life like he’s been starving for weeks…and you know technically he has. 

It doesn’t help that you had decided to pretty up a little. ✨Magic shave powder✨ is the greatest thing you’ve ever bought in your entire life, you’re as smooth… you don’t know, something that’s like really smooth? Wait okay that one street in Cars after Lightning McQueen fixes it 

“The movie, Cars?” Eddie looks at you and you blink slowly 

“Said that out loud didn’t I”

“Mhmmm” He chuckles against your thigh and you bat at his head 

“But you didn’t have to go through all this trouble,” He says, kissing the inside of your thigh softly and getting you back on track “I’d devour you either way baby”

“I wanted to” 

“I’m not complaining” He nuzzles his nose against you and inhales deeply, his eyes roll back as your jaw drops slowly 

“Smells good enough to eat” 

“E-“ 

It’s like all the air has been sucked from your lungs the moment he kisses you, French kisses you. It’s an odd feeling at first, but your hands automatically tangle in his hair as he laps at your clit, you feel the vibrations of his chuckles as you buck against his face and he pulls you closer to him, putting your thighs over his shoulders

He’s hungry for you as his tongue dips inside you, tasting your arousal 

“Such a good girl for me” He murmurs, flicking his tongue over your clit as he finally tastes you for the first time.

“Such a pretty little cunt too” His fingers dig into your plush ass as he pulls you closer to him, licking and teasing you. He loves the way you shiver at his touch, the way your back arches off the bed as he slides his fingers inside you. He can’t help but groan, his cock throbbing with need as he tastes your sweet nectar, but he can’t be bothered with himself at the moment, he’s too enamored with your bare cunt. 

You writhe frantically in the covers, trying to pull yourself away from him just a little, just enough to breathe. But he slaps your thigh, leaving behind a red mark and you yelp. His eyes connect with yours immediately, staring daggers at you for trying to run from him and you shove his face back down just so you don’t have to stare into those gorgeous brown eyes. You know you wouldn’t last either if he made you. 

“I’ve wanted you for so, so long” he purrs against your lips before sucking on your clit and biting it just a little, your hips buck against his face as you cry out his name and he chuckles deeply, pulling his fingers away, and reaching for his cock. He strokes himself a few times, as he continues devouring you, gasping into you. 

You’re a babbling mess underneath him, incoherent and a bit dazed, that man knows what he’s doing. You can feel the way he spells out his name, claiming you. Like any other man ever had a chance with you. 

The sounds of your moans are music to his ears, his sweet little angel, tugging at his hair, begging him to let you cum. 

“Look at how sweet and submissive you can be, I’m so proud of you baby girl… come on. Let me taste you baby, cum on my tongue” 

You cry out his name as he sucks your clit relentlessly, his fingers pumping back into you, in and out as you reach your climax. Your body trembles harshly as you collapse into the bed, panting and almost crying from how overwhelmed you’re feeling. 

Eddie pulls his fingers out slowly, crawling over you and kissing you softly 

“Hey, hey you did so good sugar cube. You’re so wet for me…” He kisses your tears and you look at him, sniffling a little 

“That was a lot,” you say and he smiles, reaching over and grabbing your new teddy bear and handing it to you 

“Mhmm it sure was” he watches you snuggle with it, taking a little breather and he lays next to you, pulling you into his arms 

“We can leave it at that if you want baby, we don’t have to go further” 

“What about you?” You ask quickly, barely letting him finish the sentence 

“Y/N, I just got to eat you out for the first time. Trust me when I say I’m perfectly fine waiting if you’re not ready” 

“I just need a minute” You blush a little and he kisses your nose 

“That’s perfectly fine with me” 

You can feel just how hard he is, his thick cock pressed against you. All he does is softly rub your arm, humming a soothing little song. You know he’d really stop if you needed to… you know he wouldn’t think twice.

But god is it finally time to ride your cowboy

You look at him, hugging your bear to your chest, your head is practically spinning with the deep desire to just take him inside you, and finally know what it feels like for him to just… destroy you. 

“Eddie?” 

“Yes, cutie?” He says playfully as he nuzzles into your neck 

“Fuck me” 

You feel the way he stops breathing, the way his hand stops caressing your side

“What was that?” 

His voice is deeper, darker. There’s a bite to his tone as his hands become more possessive, pulling your body into him greedily

“Say it again for me” His hands trail up your sides as he watches you so intensely. So desperately aroused. 

“Uhhh” you start to get a bit shy again, hiding behind your teddy bear “Um” 

“Oh come on now” He pulls your teddy bear from you, kissing your neck as he slides the bear down his bare torso 

“Tell me what you want from me” Your eyes widen as he strokes himself slowly with your teddy bear, groaning softly and bucking his hips into it a bit 

“Look at how much I need you” 

You stare at him, unable to even comprehend what you’re seeing as he rubs that bear up and down his shaft, hissing at the satisfying friction it gives him…but-

“Come on, say it for me” 

“F-fuck me,” you say again, your voice squeaking a little 

“Fuck me… what?” 

Your jaw drops slowly as he tosses the bear aside and gets on his knees, pulling your hips to him and tapping your pussy with his cock 

“U-uhh” 

“Come on honey, one little word” You feel a slight pressure as he teases your hole with the tip, he reaches over to the bedside table and grabs a small bottle of lube, pouring it over his cock and rubbing it in 

“Fuck me… d-daddy” 

“That’s my girl” He grins wickedly as he pushes into you slowly, stretching you out inch by mind-blowing inch. You’re not even sure how big he is but damn it just keeps going. You’re panting softly, your eyes rolling back as he finally sinks his cock into you.

“Ohhmygod” 

Your words slur together as your body trembles underneath him, he leans forward and kisses your neck, taking your hands in one of his and pinning them above your head 

“Look at you, doin' such a good job baby girl. Let me know when to move, we’ll go at your pace” 

He looks mesmerized by the way you stretch around his cock, your tight cunt gripping him. He sighs dreamily, knowing he’s the only man to ever take you like this and he likes that. It makes him kind of wish he’d saved himself for you which is hilarious considering he didn’t even know you existed. You wiggle your hips a bit trying to adjust to his size and he smirks, pulling out a little 

“Is it too much for you? Too much for my pretty baby to take?” 

Okay Eddie is kinky 

But maybe you can be worse 

You wriggle one of your wrists free from him, he’s not holding them very tightly for your first time and reach for the nightstand 

“You want the condoms, honey?” 

He goes to pull out but your fingers reach your phone first, handing it over to him. He stares at it in his hands and then looks back at you 

“You wanted pictures right?”

Now it’s his turn for his jaw to drop “I-i mean-“ 

“Unless you’re just all talk…”

The look he gives you like you have the audacity to be saying that when you’re just trying to buy time to get used to his size. He ignores you though, and rubs his hand over your thigh soothingly. You hear the shutter of the camera and it sends a shiver up your spine. His fingers ghost over your sensitive clit and you gasp, moving your hips against it as he plays with your clit, grinning like the Cheshire Cat as he films the way he’s touching you. 

You reach out for him, your thighs shaking and he tosses your phone to the side as he goes to lay over you now, kissing you softly 

“I think you’re ready” he whispers as his hips start to move slowly, you wrap your arms around his neck, burying your face in it for a second as he pumps in and out, moaning lowly in your ear 

“Fucking hell, Y/N” 

He keeps his slow pace up, feeling your pussy clench around his cock as he tortures both of you for the sake of not hurting you 

“F-faster” you pant, pulling at his hair so he’s looking into your eyes “Please, please go faster” 

Goddamn you don’t have to tell him twice 

His hips speed up as he reaches between you and massages your clit in time with his thrusts, your back arches into his chest as you cry out and he bites his lip, grunting as his cock thrusts in and out of you 

He grips your hips again, tighter this time. The muscles in his arms bulged with each snap of his hips, his body moving in perfect sync with yours. Eddie's hot, heavy breaths mingle with your own as he drives into you, the primal sounds of passion filling the room and driving you up the wall, almost the same way he’s driving you up the bed. You hold onto the headboard, your body arching up higher, your tits bouncing in his face 

He pulls out almost completely, then plunges back in, the intensity of his movements driving both of you higher. Sweat glistens on both of your skin as you move together, your moans louder with each powerful stroke.

Eddie's breathing becomes labored, his thrusts more erratic as he nears his peak. His gaze never leaves yours, seeing the passion reflected in your eyes. He feels your body tremble, watching the way your body comes closer and closer to finishing all over him 

It’s so purely euphoric the moment you cum, he watches the way your body arches into his, the way you cry out his name, reaching for him. He holds you closer, finishing inside you fucking finally, he holds it in you, his cock throbbing inside you as he releases more and more and he’s sure it’s the hardest he’s ever cum in his life

You hold onto him, your entire body shaking, your nails clawing at his back, just trying to find something to ground yourself with. He doesn’t pull out as he collapses on top of you, panting into your hair, giving you soft little kisses 

“Jesus I’m in love with you” He laughs breathlessly and you nod, laughing with him 

“I-I love you too”

“Hello??…. What? Buck, Buck slow down buddy. Where??” 

You sit up slowly, rubbing your eyes 

“Baby?” Eddie gets out of bed, running over to the dresser and tossing you a t-shirt, that you rush to get on. He hops around trying to get his pants on while talking to Buck and you nearly fall off the bed, trying to reach for your bra on the floor 

“We’ll be there soon!!” He hangs up and lifts you back onto the bed, tossing your bra at you 

“Eddie!” You cup his face and he finally stops running around 

“Maddie’s having her baby”

Your mouth drops open and you fall backward, squealing and kicking 

“Finally!!!” 

You scramble to get ready just as fast as he is. You don’t bother digging through your overnight bag, you just pull on his t-shirt and snatch your pajama shorts from the top of the bag. They’re short, and show off the curves of your ass and just the bottom of your cheeks. Eddie looks at you as you stumble off the bed and you put your hands on your hips, letting his t-shirt fall over them 

“Hey, it’s this or nothing okay! I didn’t exactly expect to be going anywhere in the middle of the night” 

“It’s not “or nothing” but fuck I’m not complaining” he snickers as he picks you up and your mini backpack and heads straight for the truck. 

He opens the driver's side door and just makes you crawl across the seat. He slaps your butt as you’re crawling and you squeak 

“Hey!! That hurts!!” You kick your leg at him and sit carefully in your seat

“That hurts?” He wanted to sound playful but it just came out worried and you pat his arm 

“You’re kinda big, and it’s my first time. Don’t worry about it okay? If it gets too painful I’ll tell you”

He looks at you skeptically but starts the truck anyway and pulls out of the driveway 

“Sure you will” 

You buckle up in the middle seat and cuddle into him, smiling 

“I’ll tell you all about it!! how sore I am from you stretching me so much… how I can still feel you inside me with every step I take..” you wriggle your eyebrows as he shakes his head, ignoring your ass and concentrating on the road 

“If um… if you’re not too tired when we get back?” You bite your lip shyly and that finally gets his attention 

“You sure you’re up for that?” 

“Are you kidding? I finally had you and you think I’m going to be able to stay off it? I’ve been dreaming about this with you” 

He smiles a little, he can feel the blush creeping up his neck 

“Alright Sugar Cube, whatever you want”