#god i hate this guy. i hate him so much.
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we have this ancient old family friend who's pretty divorced from the reality of regular people because he is Very Wealthy from local real estate and land-lording and he's convinced he can get me a job at *REDACTED* because he knows one ex-employee and my field is tangentially related. He called me to demand I send him my resume, which I did, after explaining I would be gone for several weeks on vacation. He said fine and that this could all wait until summer, but I've just opened my email to passive aggressive emails literally titled "Waiting" demanding a CV. This whole situation was prefaced of course by him degrading me for several minutes as being a "shiftless burden of a near-forty year old."
#I would give anything for full immunity to stand and screaming at his wrinkly nasty face#when i work in childcare he was mercilessly cruel to me. went on and on about what a pathetic waste I was. asking how I could be proud to#climb the worlds shortest ladder when i got promoted#it was so bad that my wealthy ass kisser extraordinaire dad told him to leave me alone#really want to respond with a fuck ton on bitchiness and be done with this prune ass forever. his grandkids are all mitzvahed i have no#reason to ever see him again.#he pays to nap at the symphony#he pays to fly his children and grandchildren around for bi annual foreign vacations#he expects us to do the same#god i hate this guy. i hate him so much.
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english translation book 5 baby we are in the ‘people assuming kid form hua cheng is xie lian’s son’ era 🔥🔥🔥 / follow for more hualian silliness
#so the part of the book where kid hua cheng suddenly sits bolt upright#because he senses something in the room#and this 7 year old is just 👁️👁️ and radiating immense killing intent#hes so fucking funny 😭#i love him being weird and strange and offputting#‘dianxia why does the high schooler that hangs around your house sometimes have glowing red eyes and know things he definitely shouldnt#and crush things into dust with his bare hands and seem to hate the sun an-‘ mind your own fucking business#drawing baby hc was so much fun i hope i do it again soon#the secret is that xie lian is JUST as deeply weird as his husband but in a less obvious and threatening manner.#guy who has to keep his internal monologue internal because he is thinking things like “wouldnt wanna get choked by those hands!”#out of every god character he is the one who seems to have changed the most from immortality#dying presumably hundreds of times and being alone for hundreds of years does something to your brain#“xiao hua why does your cultivator talk weird and wear the same clothes and eat the same food and-” HE IS AUTISTIC!!!! AND JADED BY THE#PASSAGE OF CENTURIES!!! YOULL NEVER KNOW WHICH IS WHICH!!#my art#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#hualian#hua cheng#xie lian#art#tgcf meme#mxtx#天官赐福#lmao#hob#heaven official's blessing#the people have spoken...
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toot toot!
#breaking my streak of dramatic af captions bc look at this. look at it. wtf was i supposed to call it. he's tootin whaddya want from me#he go TOOT TOOT on his lil trumpet i fuckgjn LOVE HIM im maxing this card im serious#lvl 60 10/10 no expense is too much for my precious boy#i found a new brush that has this rly soft charcoal vibe and i used it on this whole thing and it was SEXY it was HEAVEN#it was fun for coloring too!!! and the outfit colors are fun to color OUGHH everything made just for me <3 feeling SILLY#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#his bunny outfit sweeps like im sorry but its the best card of the event and its not even fucking close#suntails#i did one 10-pull bc i wanted the paint bonus from epel's card even tho i HATE that card#and i instead got SUPER lucky and got deuce and NO epel!!! i couldnt be fucking happier#then my job interview today never called and i was miserable again but it was an internal issue and im now rescheduled for next week#so please dear god pls guys pray i get this job. i want it sooooo bad
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I think that we, as a fandom, should talk more about the fact that sqq thought at one point: "Thank god lbh is not a demon who eats decaying corpses because kissing him would be a bit uncomfortable" at the beginning of VOLUME 2!! My man is not "down bad" for lbh he's straight up admiting that he would kiss him even if lbh was a cannibal he has zero chill.
#THEY HADN'T EVEN KISS AT THAY POINT!#i hate this guy so much#“oh i don't like lbh how could i?”#“but yeah i would still kiss him even after eating a human the protagonist halo bro no one can escape”#thank god this man knows how to shut up#svsss#bingqiu#scum villain self saving system#luo binghe#shen qingqiu
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Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.
Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.
Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.
Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.
#pjo#percy jackson#nico di angelo#Percy shows up at CJ and squints at Nico like ''hm. why do i feel like i hate you? like i just wanna punch you in the face?''#and Nico just immediately goes ''huh no idea anyways i have to go-'' and jumps into Tartarus#but not before he gives Hazel essentially a detailed explanation of ''this is Percy i cant say much but please dont let him die <3''#and Nico's whole Tartarus trip was basically a whole ''im doing this so no one else has to''#only for Percy and Annabeth to fall in like one book later and Nico proceeds to spend the next book internally screaming about it#and then Cupid calls him out on it and the next book#Nico's just like ''at this point im hoping i keel over within the next week just so i can force this dumb crush to chill the fuck out''#Nico staring pointedly at Will: ''For my own sake i need to form another crush RIGHT NOW so i can finally get over Percy.''#''this has been so bad for my health''#Nico's crush on Percy is just too funny to me. horrible pick my guy. terrible job. love that for you. he could not be less interested.#Percy LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL NICO and ditch him in the underworld and Nico is somehow STILL like ''but i love him''#Percy basically chokes him. beats up his dad. tells him ''go get smited by your dad for me.'' and ditches him.#and Nico's opinions/crush on him DO NOT CHANGE#though also Nico's reaction to Percy beating up his dad + skeletons is SO funny. his jaw is on the floor. he's flustered about it.#he just witnessed Percy be incredibly hot and proceeded to go ''yea i'll do anything for this man. collect reinforcements of 3 gods? sure''#nico you absolute DISASTER with HORRIBLE TASTE. you can do better. raise your standards.#which tbh is funnier when you factor in sun and the star. Nico just wont stop crushing on guys who dislike him and everything he stands for
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It was more than just romantic. It was more than just romantic. It was more than just romantic.
This is someone that genuinely liked me. This is someone that genuinely liked me. This is someone that genuinely liked me.
I trusted them.
And for the first time since I was a tiny child, I actually felt safe. And for the first time since I was a tiny child, I actually felt safe. And for the first time since I was a tiny child, I actually felt safe. And for the first time since I was a tiny child, I actually felt safe.
#I think all emphases are equally true btw#anyone else crying#god#it never stops being So Much#I hate that he had to have that experience I hate that it felt new to feel safe#I hate that he was shocked that somebody genuinely liked him#but Jesus Christ guys…. then he met Phil#Then he met Phil.#phan#Dan Howell#Dan and Phil#me yapping
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i hate james vowles so much for acting like this big papa bear like hes protecting logan at the beginning of the season just to be the most disrespectful motherfucker like 10 minutes later. every week it was a new thing about logan’s replacement and him underperforming and all that shit when he didn’t have the same car as alex for half the damn season and it was very clear that the team had no faith in him as evidenced in australia. the whole 45 seconds of cheering at sainz’ signing?? jesus it’s just so disrespectful if i were logan i would leak anything i could get my hands on just to get an inch of revenge for everything that team put him through.
#also the whole kimi antonelli replacing him saga??#i fucking hate james vowles and i hate williams racing#posing as a big family and then logan is the black sheep#thank god to american sponsors for forcing them to give him another season so all this shit could be exposed#and james can’t pose like a nice guy anymore#ugh i remember posting about how much i loved him at the beginning of the season#f1#logan sargeant#williams racing#formula 1
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i keep thinking about the fact that unlike sy (who never even thought about how his family might feel about him dying), airplane actually had the option to go back to his family and ultimately decided not to.
like imagine being a parent and finding out that your child chose a life that didn’t have you in it.
just think about the guilt that his parents must have felt when they heard the news. each of them are enjoying time with their new families, but they haven’t spoken to their son in a while. he’s in college though so he’s probably fine. he’s not reaching out saying that he needs help or money or anything though he never asked for much when he was home either.
then they get the call. and they find out that he died alone in his apartment. he was electrocuted while trying to salvage his laptop. and they think he didn’t have to die this way. he never asked them for anything, and now they know that he desperately needed them. he never mentioned how much he struggled, and maybe he would have if they had been in contact more often. but they were too caught up in their own lives to pay attention to him.
no parent should have to out-live their child, but they distanced themselves so much from him that they couldn’t even be there for him when he died.
cough your child could have lived a long, happy, & healthy life and eventually die of old age surrounded by people they love. but instead he died when he was young and alone because he didn’t feel comfortable sharing his problems with you cough cough
#this is mostly about airplane’s parents now that i think about it#fuck those guys#shang qinghua#im shaking him aggressively#and the fact that sqh and sqq NEVER mention their ‘past lives’ with each other (iirc) drives me insane#but it’s also. in character for them to do that. as much as i hate it.#Mr. Repression & Mr. God Complex never talk about their feelings?!?!?!#how shocking.#mxtx svsss#svsss extras#svsss book 4#svsss sqh#sqh#svsss#scumbag self saving system#scumbag system#airplane shooting towards the sky#HE DIED ALONE IN HIS APARTMENT CAUSE HE WAS WORKING HIMSELF TO THE BONE TO PAY RENT!!!!!!#i will never get over that.#shen yuan died alone too but his death is shown differently in different medias so its hard to analyze it imo
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having a moment. but when i was little and first getting into writing stories and drawing characters i always used to make every single character white, strange when you consider that im literally black but much less strange when you realize that at that point in the early 2000s i had never before seen a black person play a hero in something i loved or see a black person on tv with an actual role period (me and my sister used to see how long we could watch tv without ever seeing a black person, INCLUDING ads and it would go on for hours) so to little me, all the heroes were white. things slowly got better and i obviously got over that idea but still most roles i saw a black person play on tv was the sassy best friend of the white protagonist who existed only to be a sidekick or anything like that. but this is the first year ive actually felt like things were actually looking up.
between spiderverse, doctor who, and percy jackson i have never seen so many widely loved protagonist roles in mainstream media held by black people ever before in my life, ESPECIALLY by dark-skin people!! and they're well written! and they're the hero! and they have full lives outside of just being "the black character"! idk man it's just nice to finally get this, i love u miles morales, i love u the 15th doctor, i love u annabeth chase <333
#text!#long rambley guy#if you hate them you will die and go to hell.#when they announced leah sava jeffries and ncuti gatwa i CRIEDDDD#and i love watching spiderverse so much bc good GOD miles is definitely has the exaggerated swagger of a black teen#the fucking “get off his ass” in atsv......miles morales ily#sony im looking you dead in the eyes. im giving you the pass to let him say the nword in btsv#its out of character that he hasn't yet
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'thats not his role in the story!' hm i wonder what the point of it is then. hm i wonder what the dead pixel scene means. hm i wonder what wrong organ are trying to say with the context of 'awesome male friendship' and 'corporate hell where the only woman onboard is constantly under ridicule, abused or forcibly forgotten yet is the catalyst' if not this. hm i wonder how curly's physical agony being a direct parallel to anya's mental agony, stripped of voice, agency, just like her, and being forced to watch what happens while not doing jack shit, just like he used to, plays a part in this. i wonder what the moral of him being the final girl says about living with the consequences of your inaction, because of sentimentality, because of status, career and social. hm i wonder whatever the fuck this game was trying to say. hm i wonder what else is on this person's blog Oh Lord there's yaoi penice.
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers#sa mention#dont go after this person but i hooooope they rethink. their view of the story.#but god im gonna squeeze lemons in my eyes soon#taking this game away from yall until you unlearn misogyny#ooooh curlys just sooo sweet poor thaaang oh my oh my youre looking sooo far into thissss haaahaaa#its all just a misunderstanding!!!! anya didnt speak clearly enough!!!! noooo its not on my beautiful blue eyed rascal hahaaa#ok look curlys an insane character i love analyzing him and i VERY MUCH dont want people to think im like villanizing the guy#the entire point is that otherwise pretty chill people can fuck up OF THEIR OWN FAULT AND BIAS and then learn. painfully. what not to do.#and by chill i also dont mean holy water pure ok. distinctions.#and id really hate people taking either side of the argument on curlys morality. esp considering his appearance (for both.)#just don't. fucking make baby ass black and white arguments#this game should be behind a childproof lock in the shape of a reading comprehension test abt crime and punishment#im super supportive of people trying to think outside the norm about art like mouthwashing and explaining their own musings#and talking with others and trying to understand how to argument their thoughts which is what the op of the post this was left on was doing#being genuinely curious and open#but brother i draw the line at so merrily denying the main fucking point of the character in the catalyst event#GOOD GOD make this game only accessible to 35+ yo's with no internet access#the contents of their blog were just the cherry on top#unblocking them in hopes they see this ig
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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do you guys ever think about Marco being the only good thing Grant ever let himself have . the only good thing he ever consciously chose to have . do you guys ever think about that .
#just blahs#help im thinking about them too much#i need to draw them so bad#im gonna go draw them#oh my god#like . guys . he didn't even chose lincoln .#but he chose marco .#he chose to love marco . and he chose to let himself be loved by marco .#he could have just . not let himself have that . he could've chosen to ignore marco and not done anything and stayed alone#like he thinks he deserves to be .#oh my god .#do you guys ever think about that r.#that no matter how much he really truly hates himself he allows himself to have marco .#to have someone in his life who he knows *chose* to love him .#god .#i can't think about them too hard or else i get really obsessed w them oh my god#and they don't even have a tag i can look through :(#marco li wilson#grant li wilson#dndads
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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Hey guys Hephaestus has glasses in the livestream animatic. I know its just for funsies (and also probably based on Jorge's dad, who was the singer), but you guys know what this means????
A possible canon explanation for Polites having glasses CAN be a 'gift of the gods' now, except not from Athena as some people have jokingly suggested. It can be from Hephaestus instead, lol.
(ALSO, recall how Hephaestus's brief argument was 'trust isn't given, it has to be forged', which can be an echo of Polites's philosophy, which was something like 'show trust, and be trusted in return'.
There's SOMETHING there that can be played with between two characters that didn't show up much in the musical. One more than the other.)
#polites epic#epic the musical#polites epic the musical#wisdom saga#isekai!polites#Hephaestus Epic The Musical#Anyway#this is a crack idea but I adore it so much#My mind is shifting Polites's role from common foot soldier to someone in charge of weapons and armor#which is funny considering his philosophy#i know some fics have him as an archer. or as a medic/field medic#in his mind#he's keeping everyone safe by upkeeping their weapons and armor#tho he also understands that the weapons also promote the bloodshed he hates#hmmm gonna workshop this it sounds interesting#hephaestus is polites's patron god guys wouldnt that be funny#I am ABSOLUTELY reaching with this connection you guys#but ALSO#this is my favorite of any story#where you can make connections between characters the author either never realized or didnt have the chance to explore#its why i love side characters
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ETA: now on ao3 as Hawkins Halfway House for Homeless Horrors
ETA2: now with an additional snippet
okay, how's this for an AU
We know that Steve wants to be a dad. Like, his literal life dream is to have a minimum of six children. SIX. who wants that?? crazy people, that's who. but we forgive him his insanity because he's sweet and will actually probably be a really good dad and there's not enough of those in the world.
the downer is that it's the late 90s, he's a (still) single guy in his thirties, and every adoption agency on the planet would rather give their children to a heteronormative couple who don't even want kids than to a single dude who would dedicate his heart and soul to giving his kids a happy healthy home.
He's bemoaning his fate to Robin at a bar they recently discovered. It's a weird little joint, kinda tucked away on the outskirts where Steve could've sworn didn't exist just last week. The patrons were kinda weird too but neither he or Robin could put their finger on why or how. If Steve had been a little less miserable, and Robin a little less caught up in comforting him, they might've noticed how everyone else in the bar kept sneaking curious glances at them or how they somehow always kept most of their features hidden.
They didn't though. Even when they were interrupted by a handsome black gentleman who called himself Jeff. Jeff said that he couldn't help but overhear their dilemma and that he's actually part of an agency that is more open minded about potential foster or adoptive parents. Steve's a little deeper in his cups than he intended, and doesn't question that some random guy in a bar is offering him a chance of having children. Robin is not as far in her cups and finds it a bit suspicious.
She was going to say something about it but Jeff looked her in the eye and said, "Everything is fine. There's no reason to worry. I'm only trying to help."
"You're only trying to help," Robin murmured back blearily. "Everything is fine. Yeah. Yeah, 'm not worried."
Jeff gives Steve his card and tells him he can stop by the very next day if he'd like, since his schedule is open.
The next day, Steve is regretting having gotten so drunk. Not really because of the hangover (though holy shit, he is NOT twenty anymore he needs to stop drinking like one). No. It's because Jeff had just finished giving him a tour of the facility full of rambunctious children in need of a home.
Actually, that had been pretty okay even if the other adults in the facility startled at the sight of him and the children kept ducking into other rooms to hide from him.
No. It's because Jeff had just introduced him to a child named Dustin who sneezed unexpectedly and somehow turned into a kitten.
"Um," Steve said. Jeff sighed.
"Dustin hasn't gotten back control over his shapeshifting since his mother's passing, but I assure you he's been improving."
"...shapeshifting," Steve said, numbly.
"Yes. Dustin tends to go for cat shapes, like his mother did." Jeff bends down to pick up the loudly mewing tabby kitten. "We've managed to get him to shift mostly into a domestic shorthair, rather than a cougar cub."
"That's great," Steve squeaked as he tried to tamp down the growing hysteria in him. "Really, really great. Y'know what, Jeff, this whole thing's been great but I think I'm still kind of drunk so I'm just gonna go--"
"No, wait," Jeff says, quickly placing the Dustin kitten on his shoulder before reaching out to grab Steve by the elbow. "Please. Look, you seem like a good guy. I did a quick scan of you and everything, and I really think if you'd take a moment to sit down and--"
"JEFFORD BILLANY JONES."
Jeff's shoulders hunched, nearly dislodging Dustin from his shoulder. He sighed again and turned to face the man storming towards him and Steve.
"Eddy, you know none of that is my name."
"I'll call you whatever I want since for some unfathomable reason, you've brought a human into my sanctuary. Why is there a human in my home, Jeffamy."
"Eddy, let me explain."
"It's Eddie in front of the human," Eddie said.
Steve's brain was experiencing some sort of malfunction because Jeff had been calling this man Eddie, except if he concentrated, the way Jeff said Eddie and the way Eddie had said Eddie sounded very very different except it hadn't because they both sounded like Eddie except for how Jeff's Eddie sounded different from, the same as, different, just like--
A pair of ringed fingers snapped aggressively in front of his face, startling Steve from an impending aneurysm.
"You. Who are you, who sent you, what do you want."
Steve stuttered something incoherent. He's pretty sure he's had a mental break from reality. There was some sort of sentient black sludge creeping across the tiled floor, wrapping a tendril around Jeff's leg.
"What is that?" Steve squawked. Jeff beamed at him.
"Oh, this is El! She's a Monster Under the Bed. She hasn't decided on a form yet, but that's okay, we love her just as she is."
"Jeff," Eddie snapped. Jeff looked at Eddie stubbornly.
"You told me we needed all hands on deck."
"How dare you, I'd never stoop to using boat metaphors."
"Don't distract me with blatant lies. Eddy, you said we needed help. You said you'd take anyone at this point."
Steve has not been able to stop staring at the sludge creature (El?). He's beginning to realize that he can't quite remember what Jeff looked like, or any of the adults they had seen. He's noticing that some of the children that have been scampering about had looked off. Like the boy with the bowl-cut they had passed by earlier who had looked...frosty around the edges. Or the girl he thought had had red feathers in her hair but is now suspecting the feathers were something more than decorative.
Ringed fingers snap in front of his face again. Steve finally focused on the man named Eddie who was actually named Eddie which was different from Eddie somehow. Now that he's able to shove away the confusion that is this man's name, he's struck by the fact that Eddie was quite possibly the most gorgeous man Steve's ever seen. He had wide, dark eyes that made Steve think of seabeds in the deepest of waters. His hair was a riot of dark brown curls that for some reason brought to mind swirling schools of fish.
"Answer my questions," Eddie demanded. Steve blinked and, with some difficulty, remembered the previous interrogation.
"Uh, I'm Steve. Jeff invited me because I want to be a dad."
Eddie barked out a laugh.
"Oh, is that right? In that case, welcome to Hawkins' Halfway House for Homeless Horrors! I'm sure Jeff would love to finish introducing you to the rest of our children. Have you met Mike? He's a ghoul! Or Lucas! He's a werewolf and his dream is to become a basketball star. They both have very sharp teeth so watch out for their tantrums."
Jeff scowls at Eddie before turning back to Steve. Steve was starting to feel faint and he was no longer sure if he regretted drinking the night before or regretted not drinking more.
"Steve, it's okay. Eddy is making it sound scarier than it actually is. You said you wanted to be a dad, and we need foster parents that can help these kids learn how to blend in with humans. That's what the halfway house is for, but there's only so much they can learn while living in sanctuary. We need a way to have them experience the human world more directly while still keeping them safe, and I think you're the solution we've been looking for. What do you think?"
"I think I need to sit down," Steve said thinly. Eddie snorted derisively. Steve was slightly offended but honestly everything was a bit too much right now and he really would like to sit down for a moment just to process. Because monsters are real, apparently, and some of them need parents. Which was terrifying to think about but also not so much? Because all kids were little monsters some of the time right? If Steve could have a moment to get his bearings...
"This was a terrible idea, Jeffathan."
"I think it was a great idea, actually. I really think this could work."
"No. I forbid it. Don't do this again."
Then there was a sweet and beautiful humming. It made the edges of Steve's mind go fuzzy and soft. He blinked slowly and looked for the source of the sound. Eddie stared at him intently and when he spoke, his voice was like music.
"Steve," Eddie said. "Steve, do you want to make me happy?"
Steve nodded dumbly. He wanted that more than anything in the whole world. He wanted to make Eddie smile. He wanted Eddie to never stop singing.
"It would make me very happy if you went home and forgot everything you saw here today," Eddie continued.
Steve made a sad sound. He didn't want to forget. He didn't want to forget beautiful, gorgeous Eddie and this place that could make his dream come true.
"Please, Steve," Eddie's lyrical voice took on an aching mournful tone. "If you don't, you'll break my heart. I'll never be happy again."
The sadness in the song made Steve feel like the world was ending. Eddie couldn't be sad! Steve would rather die than make Eddie sad!
"I forget," Steve mumbled through the fog in his mind. "And you'll be happy?"
"So happy. I'd be the happiest man alive if you do that one little thing for me, my sweet Steve."
Steve nods again. "Okay."
"Good boy," Eddie croons. Steve felt like he swallowed the sun at those words. He followed Eddie as Eddie guided him through the halfway house. Eddie hummed his lovely song the entire way.
"Go home and forget," Eddie sang one last time as he helped Steve get behind the wheel of his car.
"Yeah," Steve replied dreamily and drove away.
--
The telephone rang shrilly through his apartment. Steve stumbled out of bed and picked up, only fumbling it a little bit.
"H'llo?"
"Steve, what the hell, I've been trying to get a hold of you all day! Where have you been?" Robin's voice rang out, making Steve flinch. He scrubbed his free hand over his face tiredly.
"Home? I just woke up," Steve said. It was weird that he was fully dressed, he thought dazedly, but it wouldn't be the first time he's passed out drunk in his street clothes. Was he wearing this shirt yesterday? He could've sworn he'd worn the navy one.
"What? Just now? It's like five in the evening!"
"Huh. That'd explain the weird dream," Steve mumbled.
"Was it the one where you get seduced by a giant squid? Because I don't need to know more about your weird tentacle fetish."
"I don't have a tentacle fetish! I had the dream ONE time, and I wasn't being seduced, I was getting drowned and it was terrifying!"
"To-may-to, to-mah-to."
"Whatever, this one was weirder anyway."
"I find that hard to believe but now I'm morbidly curious. Hit me with it."
"...I don't remember."
"There goes my entertainment for the evening."
"Was there a reason you called, Robin?"
"Yes! I met this girl named Chrissy and I swear Steve, she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen..."
Beautiful. Steve had the faint impression of dark eyes and silver rings, but it was quickly washed away like a child's sandcastle in the tide under the onslaught of Robin's ramblings. As he listened to his best friend, he couldn't help but feel there was something he'd forgotten. There was something he'd been planning on doing today, wasn't there...?
...oh, well. If it was really important, he'd remember eventually.
#stranger things#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#trensu tells stories#jeff doesn't understand why eddie hates humans so much#the man who raised eddie was human after all and eddie loved him#eddie: uncle wayne is a god among men how dare you compare him to a human#jeff: well i think uncle wayne would've liked steve and he'd totally agree that my idea was awesome#eddie: BLASPHEMY#jeff sighs the sigh of someone who has unfortunately grown used to the nonsensical dramatics of sirens#look guys i just want steve to adopt a horde of monster children#and for eddie to slowly fall in love with single dad steve#is that too much to ask for?#hawkins halfway house for homeless horrors
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god im just thinking abt how. merlin is always saying that before he came to camelot he thought he was cursed and he hated his magic because he thought it made him a monster but it was also all he had. and then him telling lancelot in s4 that since he found the purpose of his magic (protecting arthur) he doesn't feel that way anymore. sigh. the way out is just another cage!!!
#s4ep2 deleted scene more specifically but its real to me. or is it deleted? im not sure... whatever its online somewhere.#bbc merlin#e.txt#like he thought his magic made him a monster before when it didnt! but then for arthur it actually sort of did.#he doesnt feel cursed anymore maybe! but his purpose or whatever is the opposite of freedom. he just cant see it#his magic stops being his own...he starts viewing it as 'belonging' to ARTHUR... literally he gave himself away in every sense..#i know his relationship with his magic was so much worse after he came to that fuckass city. this show will not convince me otherwise#guys who were born just to suffer. god i hate this show so much literally just let him be happy...#i lost the point i was making but its fine
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