#god i hate these books

[nightingale-bloom]

what if i just stole the entirety of the land of elyon and replaced the obvious religious indoctrination, 'elyon loves and has a plan for all of us' bs with alexa winging it, not doing what elyon told her to, and making it out the other side anyway. (gets super ranty under the cut)

like, she's not really a strong protag because she's just doing what's asked of her, making basically no choices for herself. not to mention the only women in the series barely exist? like the most interesting non-mc girl was onion skin doll girl imo. and alexa just blindly listens to the men? everything is set up by a male figure, and the whole thing with it being implied she starts crushing on marco by the end of stargazer. fucking mid. let her be strong on her own without the implication she'll eventually find marginally better happiness in a nuclear family unit. hell, make her gay. but it's a pretty religious book series that started off as an religious bedtime story serial for the author's kids, soooo...

still so mad that i live in the same state as patrick carman, bro wrote some of the most mid kids' book i just had to get obsessed with every few months like a fucking 2 week minecraft bender but worse (princess ponies benders never make me this mad)

every once in a while i'll look back and go "damn, pervis kotcher was an unfortunate name." still my favorite character tho, dc that he was a dick to the mc in book 1, we should've gotten more of him. sometimes i'll read these again just to re-affix his characterization in my mind lol

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

HOT, SINGLE, UNSTUDIED SPONGES. 3000 NAUTICAL MILES AWAY. Come sail the distance and read Tiger Tiger!

[trashmakerarticle]

Everyone thinks that dick was the golden child when in reality it was Jason.

Clark: Bruce who was your favourite robin?

Dick: obviously it’s me?

Tim: it’s dick

Damian: I am superior robin, it will be me.

Bruce: it’s Jason

Everyone: WHAT?!?!???

Bruce: why are you so surprised? He didn’t jump on too my chandeliers which I had to replace each week

*everyone looks at dick*

Bruce: he didn’t drop out of school

*everyone looks at tim*

Bruce: I didn’t have to stop him from killing everyone who annoyed him

*everyone looks at Damian*

Bruce: in fact, he enjoyed school and handed all his homework in on time, we would spend hours in the library reading his favourite classics. He even helped Alfred with most of the cooking, He was my little boy

Jason: stop spreading lies, I hate you go away

Bruce: my precious little boy

[egophiliac]

Hello ! I positively adore the running joke of Idia unknowingly finding Lilia to be the coolest guy ever whenever he doesn't know it's him, like when Silver described his father, or obviously with muscle red. I can't say what'd be funnier, Idia finding out his online best friend is actually Lilia, resident spooky hyper fairy; or them both never finding out, and it'd become even more ridiculous as time goes on. How do you think it'll play out ? You're always so on point

(Also, though it makes sense, I'm still devastated bat boy didn't get a ticket for the Halloween skeleton train : ( does anyone mentions him at some point ? Like how he'd have fit right in with all those Halloween town little freaks, and how he'd have impressed them with his spooks and scared techniques; after all he's been every Briar Valley's children worst fear on Halloween for centuries. I'm on the eng server and I didn't wanna spoil myself by watching the whole thing on youtube)

Have a nice day !

you and me both, Idia and Lilia being oblivious online BFFs (+ Idia being incredibly intimidated any time Silver brings up his jock gamer dad) is my favorite running joke/subplot. 🤝 it's SO good, to the point where I also am unsure if I actually want it to ever be resolved or not...maybe, like, as a post-canon stinger or something? everyone's standing around covered in overblot ink, and Idia and Lilia's phones go off at the same time...

(legit I do think this is part of why Idia couldn't be present for Lilia's dream, because for some reason Lilia decided he was going to just. embody his past self online. he probably quotes his own battle strategies or whatever in the middle of boss fights. Idia didn't pick up on the whole "oh how weird that we both live on a super remote island" thing, but he would spend thirty seconds listening to General Lilia describing siege warfare and be like "w-wait")

all that aside, however it does end up happening, I do see Lilia being very blasé and all "oh! cool!" about it. y'know, taking it very much in stride! and Idia...very much not.

(can't tell if tumblr is going to chew this into illegibility or not, this will be a fun surprise ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ)

as for Lilia sadly missing out on Halloweentown shenanigans...he does get one little mention as part of an offhand reference to the light music club, but so far no one has brought up how this basically is just Lost In the Book of Liliatown (Sebek's been too busy yelling about not getting to be in the same group as Malleus). 😔 honestly though, it's probably for the best that he got left out, because he would just settle right in and refuse to ever leave. canon would shatter. we would miss out on all the delightful angst of episode 7 because Lilia is too busy eating poisonous shrubbery inbetween practicing his very best screams, and no one can pull him away from it.

(I can hope for a sequel next year though...)

[ashwii]

"Yb xmxoq lc jv arbq? Klq qexq vlr exsb x zelfzb, Pfubo!"

My god, this took 40 years bc college is kicking my ass, it is what it is 😔😔 BUT, THEY ROT MY BRAIN AAAA ;;

Also biggest shout out to @sharkylad for helping me out with the composition with this bad boy, UR AN ANGEL AND UR THE BEST AND I LOVE YOU, MWAH

Wips n such aha

Ill try n draw more ;; but college werk ;;; ough 💅✨️😔

[lazycranberrydoodles]

english translation book 5 baby we are in the ‘people assuming kid form hua cheng is xie lian’s son’ era 🔥🔥🔥 / follow for more hualian silliness

[ominous-horse-noises]

anyway i want to reiterate that i hope the rat grinders are tpk'd, revived and uncorrupted solely bc i want them to have to spend senior year together. 'redeemed' doesnt necessarily mean friendly with the bad kids and honestly? its so much funnier if they continue being bitchy to each other but without the trying to end the world stuff. they've built plenty of positive relationships w/ former villains now it's time for the next stage: uneasy alliance buzzing with the tension of both sides trying to hold back the urge to clown on each other

introducing, fantasy high senior year: the group project

[tubbytarchia]

Hey guys I think The Last Unicorn is such a Scott book

[robot-carl]

I hate him (affectionately).

[nestedfeathers]

i know i said i wasn't a BillFord shipper... but... its growing on me...

[aroaceleovaldez]

Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.

Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.

Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.

Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.

[carma-tjol]

Show me your worst. I love it all the same.

As long as it's me. As long as it's you.

[squidflavoredsoup]

guess who’s sick

n not the cool sick i mean actually sick

i am NOT doing good LETS SEE IF I END UP IN THE HOSPITAL AGAIN YEAHHHH💪💪💪💪 they love me

ANYWAYYYYY jokes uhhh here’s bill n my billsona

next part of roomie cipher should be coming out maybe tomorrow btw

also like don’t listen to me i’m like running on 0 hours of sleep i’m LOSINGGG ITTTT

[raggedy-spaceman]

"I don’t know this man!" David Tennant and Michael Sheen on Good Omens 2, jetpacks and Jon Hamm nude

Michael Christopher Sheen you are a menace to society!

[love-triangles-au]

Exploring the idea of Euclideans going through moults. I think I kind of love it. I imagine it's utterly humiliating for a proud guy like Bill to be looking so ridiculous (and with his shape so uneven!!) so extra angst potential too

But, y'know, had to add his boyfriend being endeared by his ugly-cuteness and squish. I always love petting my snake after she sheds, her colors get so vibrant too :]c

He looks so disgusting and naked I almost feel like I should be tagging it as nudity he's so gross. If I saw that damn thing in my living room I'd stomp on it until it was a small brown stain

~ Mod Emily 🦇

[alicentflorent]

Alicent never raised her sons to believe women couldn’t rule and I don’t recall her ever suggesting Rhaenyra was going to be an incompetent ruler, her main criticism towards Rhaenyra was about her having obvious bastards that were passed off as legitimate which could contribute towards a succession crisis if someone challenges their legitimacy. She raised her kids to fear Rhaenyra because despite the fact that Aegon had no interest in pushing his claim “you’re a threat simply by existing” she raised them to believe that they could be killed for existing because other men might not accept a woman on the throne when there are male heirs and at any point the lords could rebel and try pushing the claims of viserys’ sons even if they pledge their support for Rhaenyra. She genuinely feared for her children’s lives to the point where it made her paranoid and impacted her relationships with everyone including her children. So can we stop with the “Alicent raised her sons to believe women were incapable rulers and shouldn’t be in positions of power and now it’s coming back to bite her” bs