#god i could have given this movie a 5 stars. it's 5 stars in my heart
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ms. and mr. sara farley i now pronounce you woman and husband‼️‼️😌❤️🚬🗣️
#that wonderful urge#rin posts films#my posts#okay like they're so sexy for just existing together.. and the writing gave them such a sexy dynamics too..😌😌#saraaaa my chaotic lil heiress who shamelessly buys male companions. unpredictable zany and pragmatic (gene is so literally so cute too)#loooove how she starts a game with him as retaliation and she wasn't expecting him to play it back in return#but ultimately she was able to get back in control of the game as the creator of it after all#the craziness of their love story being a schrodinger 'are they or are they not married' i guess we'll never know!#but actually we do! we do!! it's not the papers that tell though!#they are for each other bc they're the only two ppl who can play each other's games 😌#marriage as the willingness btwn 2 ppl in playing the same game..😌😌#and how does one prove you're NOT married to someone. how does anyone prove the absence of anything...yeahhhh :)#like yeah idk how some parts are minorly illogical. it's literally the least of my concerns#my main gripe is that THERE WAS SIMPLY NOT ENOUGH OF THEM. i need this movie to be more COMPLETE.#god i could have given this movie a 5 stars. it's 5 stars in my heart#their rs development is tbh so similar to wat/noot's structurally and elementally ngl and i literally can't not love them#and funny how someone in the reviews was like hmph how typical for an old movie to insinuate that dv is ok!#well buddy it's a real thing even till today that outsiders think they shouldnt be meddling in dv btwn ppl who are married#and how i felt about the relevant scene in the movie is that it's poking fun exactly at how ridiculous that is#sara and tom were literally not legally married and nobody believed in tom. and it's just all in the public's imagination#and all for that imagination they hesitated checking up what's weird and off going on between them
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Hero, Villain God 58
(Prev) (Next) (First)
*Scar's pov*
You don't even have to wait that long for Altostratus and Ocean Queen to arrive, It's a bit impressive to be honest... You hope they didn't violate the speed limit to get here or something, you really don't want anyone to get in trouble for you if you can avoid it.
The black windowed car stops in front of the building, It's definitely property of the association...not fair, you weren't given a car... You don't know how to drive one but still, unfair.
The front door opens, It's Altostratus at the wheel with Ocean Queen sitting next to him, she waves at you. He lowers his sunglasses (Who even wears sunglasses during a storm???) and looks at you.
"Get in losers we're going shopping"
... Eh?
"But we are going to see Cuteguy"
"I know, jeeze, just wanted to say the quote"
"Oh!"
Yeah that makes sense! You would do the same for Star Wars quotes. You nod and make your way onto the backseat, Cub follows quietly behind you.
You expected the car ride to be silent but almost immediatly Ocean Queen turns towards you and Cub to ask about Cuteguy.
"Oh Sheriff is so mean, he won't tell me anything about the guy! Can you believe it?"
"I mean, I doubt he's allowed to" Responds Cub while sipping on sone kind of juice...where did he even get that!?
"Well, as his sister I feel like I'm owed at least the bare minimum! So! Hotguy, Cub, what is Cuteguy like?" She fully turns her head around, you can hear Altostratus protest at the sudden movement.
"Well, I've met the guy few times, seems like a nice guy and all even if sarcastic. Can't tell you much more then that though, Hotguy is the exper here."
Two sets of eyes turn to you, you didn't expect this to become an interview. "Cuteguy... he's great actually! He...well, I'm not going to say too much without him agreeing to it but he's really kind. And brave, he put himself in front of a bullet for me."
The conversation continues from them and when you tell them all you think you can tell them the conversation somehow turns to movies and from there to cartoons to you ranting about the decline in quality of Disney films.
Cub ends up shutting down 5 minutes in and Altostratus almost slams his head into the steering wheel at one point, Ocean Queen seems pretty interested though... It's at this point you remember the one question you had.
"So...uh, are the two working are working a case together? Oh! Is it a big super secret thing?"
Cub focused back. "If it was a 'super secret thing' I doubt the would be telling you".
Ocean Queen turns to Altostratus. "Should we tell him?"
In response he straightens up in his seat."What? Why?"
You are... Very confused... and suspicious. Especially suspicious. Are they hiding something from you? Why?
Ocean Queen just pouts in response. "He's our coworker, he should at least get know that much... Plus he did tell us about Cuteguy, It's the least we could do."
"... I ...I guess??? Just-" he sighs. "It's not something you can take back."
She turns her body so that's she's now somewhat looking at you again...
"So uh...me and J- Altostratus are actually married. So uh ... Surprise?"
Wait, is she serious? That's awesome! Really, you don't get why they didn't say so earlier.
"Congratulations-"
You are interrupted by the car coming to a stop.
Altostratus shuts off the car and steps out. "We're here lads, try not to let too much rain into my car when you get out, It's just been cleaned. If you do I will know and I won't be happy about it."
#trafficblr#traffic smp#hermitblr#hermitcraft#goodtimeswithscar#ldshadowlady#cubfan135#joel smallishbeans#hero villain god au
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prompt given by @v88sy
buck after the whole gerrard attempted murder potentially happening… thing? this will be quite short i fear but whatever lol im bored! i love them
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“And get this,” Buck ranted, phone gripped so tightly in his hand that one wrong move would most likely result in the damn thing snapping, “They had a dance party! Right after I nearly killed Gerrard! Well, I might have already. He might be dead now because of me, and they were dancing like it was nothing. I could go to jail! Fired! Suspended! And then I’m going to rot in my bed all alone and you’re going to leave me eventually and they’ll stop checking up and-”
An audible chuckle was heard from the other end of the line, interrupting his spirals. Tommy had been on shift when this happened, but now he was lazily splayed across his couch with one hand holding his phone and the other pre-occupied with Biscuit, his senior rescue cat. She was purring contentedly, most likely with no idea as to what was going on as she nuzzled against his side, lapping up all the offered affection. “Stop spiraling, Evan. He’s fine. Gerrard is like a cockroach in the sense he won’t stay down. I promise a little push and shove won’t be what takes him out.”
Buck sighed in relief, just Tommy’s voice being enough to soothe him. Of course it was still the honeymoon stage, but screw it, he felt safe with the guy. He clicked his heel against the ground, trying to silence the anxious voice in the back of his head saying that this wasn’t over, and something would come back to bite him later. Tommy wasn’t forever. It was like his boyfriend possessed mind-reading abilities with the way his voice, laced with a smile (probably one of those fond little ones he saved for Buck), spoke the words he’d been dying…. needing, to hear all shift.
“Look, this wasn’t your fault. You saved him from what I’ve heard. God knows he deserved a little beating up, the dick. You didn’t do anything wrong, Evan. Just get through the last 5 hours and I’ll pick you up. We’ll go back to mine,” Tommy hated his loft and made that very clear, “And have a movie marathon. All your silly Star Wars movies.”
Buck tried to make sure his grin wouldn’t split his cheeks in half with the force of it. “We can watch Love Actually too…” Another laugh was drawn out from Tommy, and he wanted nothing more in that moment than to jump through his phone and for lack of better phrasing, jump Tommy.
“Perfect. I’ll see you soon, sweetheart. Stay safe.”
I love you, “See you. I’ll try.” He ended the call, still beaming when the alarm went off and he ran to meet his team. It would be okay, as long as Tommy was there.
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Welcome to my humble party!~
[My Astarion Fanfic Masterlist]
Just call me Druid since I really have no intention of revealing my real name for the foreseeable future.
I decided to make a masterlist just to help organize my stuff!
~Original Characters for story or RP stuff~
Winnifred The Druid -My Tav
Arva Nightshade -Winnie's closest pre-tadpole friend.
Fi The Hornless -A talented bard and a member of Arva's pack. She helped look after a juvenile Winnie.
Elora Ancunin -Under developement...
RP Note: Winnie is currently open to answering questions from all of you beautiful people! She is an open book so do not be afraid to ask away! Astarion may even make an appearance in the reply depending on the question. No he will not bite you, Araj! Just make sure to label your ask; Dear Winnie, Question for Winnie, Hey Winnie, I dare Winnie to, etc, and we will let the fun begin!
More NSFW type questions are accepted, but only by people who have their age visible on their blogs. Minors attempting to ask or anons without any age identification will be blocked/ignored. (Also let's try not to ask anything too gross okay.... I'm into some weird stuff but you know limits, my dude.)
~During campaign Winnie fics Masterlist~
[Click Here Darling~]
~Multi-part Fanfics~
[This Bites] Astarion x Chubby Female MC
A young woman ends up literally stuck with a fictional vampire from her newest video game obsession! She now must deal with keeping him safe and hidden all the while dealing with stress from her shitty stepdad.
Chapters: 1, 2, 3 ,4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8 , 9
Valentine's Day Special: Eat Your Heart!
[The Spawn Vs The Ascendant] (Fem) Tav x Astarion(s).
Astarion and his lover Tav are happily together after defeating Cazador and freeing 7000 vampire spawn into the Underdark. They are now preparing to take on the Elderbrain when an Astarion look alike, claiming to be 'The Vampire Ascendant' appears and demands the Spawn hand Tav over to him.
Parts: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4
The Spawn vs Tav vs The Ascendant: A smutty one-shot that doesn't really take place in any particular time during the events of TSvTA. MDNI 18+ (Though if I'm honest it probably takes place post story.)
[Firsts] (Named!Fem! Tav x Astarion) Winnie has noticed her vampiric companion had been acting much more aggressively flirtatious lately. Of course, he flirted with everyone, this was common sense. But ever since Winnie had given him a taste of her blood it seemed she was the main target of his affections. Which quite frankly confused the hells out of the young druid. He couldn't actually be interested in her? Could he?
MDNI 18+ There is smut! The second half involves the Tiefling party!
[1/2] [2/2]
[Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts] (Chubby F!Tav x Astarion) After failing yet again to find a good lead on the Ring of the Sunwalker Tav and Astarion return to their current and hopefully temporary home in the Underdark only to be greeted by a distress signal from an old friend and an invitation to extravagant soiree hosted by an eccentric stranger!
Chapters: One ,
~Headcanon lists!~
[Astarion x chubby!reader headcanons!] (GN! Reader)
[🍿Watching movies with Astarion!🍿] (GN! Reader)
[BG3 companions babysitting your kids!] (GN! Reader)
[Telling the companions baby news!] (GN! Reader)
[Meet the Parents!] (A fun little writing challenge I put together. I wrote up headcanons of Astarion meeting my Tav's parents and Winnie meeting Astarion's parents.)
[Astarion's Teddy 🧸] (A little HC about Winnie giving Star a plush.)
~Other~
[All Wrapped up!] A short AstarionxF!Tav Christmas one-shot inspired by my God-awful ability to wrap presents.
[We'll Protect Each Other] While staying at an inn in the Underdark Tav and Astarion are forced to protect each other. Tav defends her lover's honor which later leads to a visit in the night from a familiar face. (Protective! Tav x Astarion One-Shot.)
[The Bite Scene] A rewrite of Astarion's bite camp event with my Tav, Winnie. It was basically a draft from my abandoned long fic.
[The Monster Hunter] Happens right before the The Bite Scene. It's a rewrite of the encounter with Gandrel out in the bog. Another draft from my abandoned long fic that I just decided to share.
[Indulging Curiosity] (F!Tav x Astarion SMUT MDNI) After a particularly bloody battle with a pack of gnolls Astarion finds himself rather hot and bothered seeing his favorite little druid absolutely drenched in blood. Unable to help himself he invites her to join him for an evening of pleasure where he indulges in some of Tav's sexual curiosities.
[Seriously, now!?] (Named!Tav x Astarion, period comfort fic) After causing a scene, embarrassing and being shouted at by the party's own resident wizard, Winnie storms off alone to sulk. Her monthly bleeding is upon her and making everything seem so much worse! But perhaps her vampiric lover can make it all better? (MDNI, slight smut at the end.)
[Forever] A requested rewrite of the camp event where Astarion's siblings come to kidnap him, but featuring Winnie!
[Delicious] (Named!Tav x Astarion) While camping in the Underdark the tadpole crew gather around the fire telling stories to pass the time. One way or another they turn into tales of old lovers. Which brings up a curious question? How come Winnie had no lovers before Astarion? (MDNI SMUT AT END)
~Taglists~
[This Bites] Comment on the latest chapter to be added!
[Winnie during BG3] Comment here to be tagged whenever I drop any fics that take place during Baldur's Gate 3 campaign!
[The Spawn Vs The Ascendant] Comment here to be added to the taglist, but hurry! This fic will soon be complete!
Ao3 Account Though most of my stuff will probably be updated here on Tumblr first!
Blog Rules ig: Okay so I normally try to promote positivity it's why my fics are mostly comedy based. That being said, anyone who comes here acting like an asshat is getting blocked. I don't tolerate homophobia, heterophobia, biphobia, panphobia or really any kind of discrimination towards anyone's sexuality. Transphobic behavior is also unacceptable and will result in a block. Racism, or sexism of any kind is also not tolerated, understand? We're all going to be friends here. Treat people the way you want to be treated.
Requests???
Hi, friendly neighborhood Druid here. My ADHD gives me a shit ton of trouble writing so I'm real iffy about doing requests of any kind. That being said, I'm currently only taking specific requests involving Astarion x my Tav Winnie where I rewrite a scene from the in game campaign. I've already done the Tiefling Party so that is out of the question. And so is anything post Act 3 final boss. I'm also honestly just open to chatting through the asks.
-Druid
#baldurs gate 3#astarion ancunin#bg3#astarion bg3#astarion x tav#astarion my beloved#astarion x reader#astarion romance#bg3 tav#ascended astarion#bg3 astarion#masterlist#fanfiction masterlist#astarion x female oc#baldurs gate astarion#astarion x female tav#astarion x female reader#bg3 ocs#bg3 roleplay#link to bg3 rp
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Violet Moon: Chapter 5
Listen, it's still Halloween on the West Coast so I'm technically not late. (Ignore the fact it's Nov 1st in my time zone shhhh.) Anyway, HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Apologies ahead of time for any errors. If I wanted this posted tonight, I didn't have time to edit or have Phoenix beta this time around. Anyway, ENJOY!! [First Chapter] -[Chapter 6] Coming Next Year
----
Too many things in the world made no sense, but just as many made too much sense. After Freed left Natsu to his thoughts and the pack grew incensed by the lack of his return, the shifter knew what he had to do. It was insane, unheard of, but the only way to fix the mess he’d found himself in. Unfortunately, it came with a horrible, horrible chance of failure. Whether Lucy chose to listen to his explanation or kick him to the curb was only the start of the complications. The iceberg was much larger and far more intricate after that. He didn’t know if he’d be given the chance to traverse that complicated maze or not, but Natsu had to try. Once he’d escaped the boundary of the park, there was no going back. Either Lucy agreed to talk, or he returned with his tail between his legs, ready to face further punishment. In the end, he figured Lucy’s rejection would be far worse than any other consequence: this decision was easy. It was so easy for Natsu to make that it almost scared him how set his mind was.
He no longer had the privilege to be indecisive after all.
Freed didn’t have to say much to convince Natsu of his travel choices. Four paws were faster than two legs, after all. His five senses were higher than an average humans, but shifted gave him an even better view of the world. He could smell the way to his apartment from miles away. The power in his legs carried him at speeds that felt like flying and his sheer size, much larger than a normal dog, kept most people out of his way. He barely felt the exhaustion of a long-distance run burning in his muscles. His earlier run in the forest was nothing in comparison. The park was outside of town and covered acres of untouched land. But the city had hard pavement that was unforgiving.
When Natsu reached his apartment building, the rough pavement had worn his paws to a raw red and he panted with cold breaths in the air. He needed water and rest after such a run. But after a quick sniff, nose in the air, he turned from the building’s entry gate and continued down the sidewalk.
The sun was nearly set, stars twinkled in the sky through the city smog and colored leaves blew down the street. All these things, coupled with Halloween Decorations set the mood for fall, but the large, russet wolf of a dog paid none of it any mind.
There was one thing that kept his focus: on scent. It was faint now, as Lucy had left his apartment hours ago. He could catch it from anywhere, having memorized everything that made her Lucy since they were young and innocent. It was tinged with the salt of tears and frustration.
God, the fact it was his fault she felt such a way left his stomach in knots and a whine bubbling out of his throat.
A few trick-or-treaters walked by him, cheering for their half-filled bags. Many stopped to attempt scratching behind his ears, or hold their hands out for him to smell. Once upon a time, he’d be more than happy to play the part of a docile animal, ready and accepting of attention, but there was no time. He dodged their attempts (and snarled at one who snatched at his tail) and bolted down the street. The sharp pain in his worn-down paws was more than deserved anyway.
.
.
.
Lucy managed one movie with Happy before the sheer rage and hurt filled her lungs to bursting. If someone asked, she would never manage recalling what the movie had been in the first place. Tears blurred her vision and stained her cheeks as she left with the credits still rolling and a mewling russian blue pawing at the door.
There was a little guilt that stabbed Lucy’s lungs when she left Happy behind, but the cat wasn’t hers and stealing him away from Natsu’s to keep him – well: happy -felt silly. This understatement of thought was Lucy’s main distraction as she made her way home with swollen eyes and barely contained sniffles.
Worst.Halloween.Ever.
Well, maybe not the worst. Nothing could compare to her last Halloween at her Dad’s empty home, but this was a close first. When the door to her apartment slammed shut behind her, Lucy let the walls come down. Another wave of tears dripped from her chin as she rubbed her eyes and rushed to the kitchen, circling the island counter with blurred vision.
If she was going to handle tonight without going crazy, she was going to need a distraction. (A voice that sounded like Cana’s whispered, “Get yourself a drink, girl!” - but she snuffed that out quickly. No point in listening to another person who was in on Natsu’s deception after all.) And what better distraction than sugar: copious amounts of sugar.
Two hours later, Lucy had three batches of jack-o-lantern shaped chocolate cookies on the counter, a spoon of cookie batter in her mouth, and a spiteful set to her brow.
She didn’t need Natsu or anyone else to have a good Halloween, she decided. They didn’t deserve her tears. Nope, she was going to have a GREAT evening and there was nothing anyone else could do about it. Dropping the spoon in the sink, she trotted off to her small home-office and got to work. What better thing to do on Halloween night than write a horror story? She’d been meaning to start a new novel, why not while powered with hurt and spite?
The sun was set and the clouds covered the stars in the sky when Lucy decided she needed a small break. Writing through spite was always a good way to be motivated, but it wasn’t the best way to remember self-care; cookies were still on the counter, her stomach growled for something more substantial than sugar and her foggy-headed brain pounded for lack of hydration.
Rubbing the bridge of her nose, Lucy cursed her circumstances. A headache was just what she needed. (Not.) Getting a drink was the easiest one of her many issues to fix, but gulping down ice water did nothing to ease the pounding in her skull. In fact, it grew louder.
Too loud.
…
Suspiciously loud.
It became apparent that the pounding wasn’t just a headache. It was reality. It echoed down the hall in a resounding beat that was impatient and rushed. A rapid knocking that was familiar enough to send a pained shock of apprehension up her throat.
Only Natsu knocked like that. (when he bothered to use her door.) His immense impatience was only coupled with his enjoyment of teasing her and he never failed to knock in a way that would end in her sighing in exasperation as she swung it open. He never could be gentle, could he?
She circled back to her living room, stepping slowly towards the door with shallow breaths and a raised brow. Was this actually Natsu? What if it wasn’t? Standing on the tips of her toes, she peered through the peep-hole of her door, holding her breath in hopes the other side would remain unaware of her presence.
A shock of pink was her first observation. A matted mess of dyed hair with a leaf sticking out through the sweat damp locks. Natsu continued to rap a closed fist against her door, shifting his weight from side to side as if hot coals were beneath his feet. He looked… dirty. She spied a bit of mud crusting his shirt and was certain more stained his jeans. “...Lucy?” A hoarse voice, quiet and desperate, echoed down the hall, slightly muffled through the door. He rested his head against the door and sucked in a breath, “Lucy, are you there?”
The knocking stopped. A crazy part of her mind wondered if he could sense her, already knowing the answer to his own question. But… that was silly, right?
He rasped her name again, his tone now joined with a whimper. She felt worry churn in her gut before righteous rage flooded her veins.
“Go away.”
She meant to sound enraged, threatening even. An assertive stance was the best way to get results after all. But Lucy’s breath caught, shuddering through emotions that made her waver. Not at all how she wanted to sound. Fingers curled into a fist as she resisted the urge to turn the knob.
Natsu sucked in a breath, “Lucy, please, I just want to-”
“I said leave!” She snapped.
Just want to - what? Lie to her more? Her body was a livewire, shaking and overwhelmed. She couldn’t do this. Not now. Lucy’s face was hot, cheeks turning red as she struggled to hold in the sob of betrayal building in her chest.
Her best friend (former - she reminded herself.) was silent. It took a few seconds of harsh breathing and burning eyes for Lucy to realize he was still at the door. This out of character quiet was unlike the boy she’d grown up with. Was it guilt? (good.) Was he feeling remorse? (He should!) It made her curious enough to check through the peep-hole once more, surprised to see Natsu standing further back, shoulders slack and hands dangling at his sides. Eyes downcast, he resembled that of a scolded dog. A revelation that might have softened Lucy’s heart days ago. Teeth grinded together as tension tightened the muscles in her neck. She began to push away, content to leave Natsu to his silence.
He shifted his weight again, gasping as if pain had shot up through his legs. Lucy froze. What… was wrong with him? A second, more observant glance through the glass thinned her lips into a hard frown. His palms were red…the color of blood. His feet… Lucy was shocked to realize they were bare and just as red. Fear and concern rose to the surface. She could stay mad forever, but that didn’t make her heartless.
She unlocked the door and swung it open, biting her lip as Natsu’s gazed shot up from the floor to meet hers, eyes red-rimmed and just as swollen as hers. She hated the sense of satisfaction that set in her heart. Let him be upset at being caught, it was well-deserved. But the rest… Lucy stepped aside, gesturing to him, “You remember where my first aid kit is, right?”
His mouth opened to reply, but clamped shut a second later. Good. It was hard enough holding back her ire already. Lucy wasn’t positive she could continue to hold it in if he chose to try and explain himself.
A beat passed and Natsu nodded, limping his way towards the bathroom on the balls of his feet; Attempting to keep his blood from staining the wood floor. It was a futile effort as bits of his toe prints were left behind and Lucy considered googling the best way to scrub it out.
She sighed and followed after. Unable to leave him to his own devices for a multitude of mixed reasons that made it hard to settle her thoughts. Was she comfortable with him in her home right now? Absolutely not. But was she comfortable with him uselessly trying to bandage himself with his hands as they were? Also no.
He was already seated on the toilet when she entered, fingers quivering as he struggled to unzip the kit she kept under the small sink. Flinching when he noticed her, Natsu drilled his gaze into the opposing wall and shook his head. “... you don’t-” He began, shook his head and tried again, “I can do it myself. You don’t have to help me.”
Well, at least he understood that much. Lucy snatched the bag from him and grabbed the antiseptic. “Shut up and hold out your hands. We can talk after.”
Natsu complied with no argument, hands held aloft to reveal the raw and torn skin that covered his palms. She couldn’t hold back her own wince, wondering how in the world he managed to damage himself like this.
“Thanks, Lucy-”
She glowered, clicking her tongue as consternation filled her, “Don’t thank me yet. I’m tempted to dump an entire bottle of rubbing alcohol on this out of spite.”
She thought he muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, ‘I’d deserve it,’ but chose to ignore him. Dabbing at his hands with cotton, she set to work, expression grim.
There was grit and gravel in his palms. It gave her the impression he’d fallen on the pavement multiple times. Examining his pants for evidence, she wrinkled her nose, noting the lack of tears in the dirtied pants. Did he catch himself in his hands and miraculously manage to avoid damaging them? It didn’t match previous experiences in her memory, but Lucy supposed it was possible.
He remained silent the entire time, refusing to meet her gaze, exhaling sharply each time she dabbed antiseptic on his injuries and carefully bandaged him. When she started on his feet, she grimaced, finding the exact same damages.
“What happened to your shoes?” She mumbled, unaware she had even asked the question out loud. What surprised her more was when Natsu answered, sounding sheepish, “...forgot ‘em.”
“You... forgot your shoes?”
“Yeah… pretty much.”
If she wasn’t so angry, head still pounding and stomach growling, she might have laughed. That was just like him. Always in a rush, body moving faster than his mind can think through his actions. She was startled when a giggle bubbled up, bursting forth without her control as her eyes grew blurred with tears. Just like him… a friend she knew so well.. And yet…. Did she really know him at all?
Fingers slid off the bandage as she finished tying up his feet, manic laughter erupting as sobs mixed in. It was hard to breathe. Her chest hurt. Natsu reached for her, saying something she couldn’t catch over the sound of her own voice. At the slightest touch on her shoulder, she jerked back, flailing to grasp the door handle and stand. “No, don’t even-” She gasped, wiping her eyes, “Don’t touch me! Not after.. Not after today! Not -”
Contradicting her own wants, she shoved Natsu back into his seat, fingers shaking. She felt too much at that moment. Too much to handle. Too much to focus on what she needed to do. Natsu stared, wide eyed and pliant, letting her shove him over and over as he stayed frozen in place. “What was it? Huh?” She asked through broken sobs, “Growing up together, spending all our time with each other, our friendship? Was it just.. Some.. long-term prank? Some game? Is that all I’ve been all these years?”
“No! You’ve never been-”
“You don’t get to talk right now,” She snapped, releasing his shoulders as she reclaimed control of herself, “It’s my turn. You need to just sit there and listen! Just listen and maybe- I said shut up! - just MAYBE, I’ll be calm enough to let you say whatever you came here to say after.”
Natsu gaped, freezing on a combination of vowels that made no sense.
“Do you understand?” Lucy pressed through grit teeth.
He nodded, finally shaking the leaf loose from his tangled hair.
Breathing deeply, Lucy counted to ten and exhaled, easing the pain in her chest while recollecting herself. “Good. Let’s talk in the living room. So you can sit and I- well, if I don’t eat something soon, I’m liable to bite your head off.”
She glowered when Natsu bit back a laugh. Ugh. She really needed dinner.
.
.
.
Dinner would come too late for Lucy to think clearly. Having nothing prepared for cooking and the streets too full of costumed party-goers making takeout impossible, Lucy settled on the next best thing: bagels. She’d manage something else later.
In the meantime, Natsu took his seat without argument. Huddled in the corner of her couch as he held his bandaged limbs out. His brows were knit together in thought, but his gaze was a hollow, empty stare against the wall. Unseeing, lost in thought. It was quite unlike the boy Lucy had grown up with. His joy and exuberance for life had always felt like a bonfire embracing the world in its heat. Now, he looked withdrawn. Cold. Emotionless.
It was easy to assume the guilt he felt. Unfortunately, as much as Lucy wanted to believe it, she couldn’t. Trust was a brittle, brittle thing, and she wondered if even now was an act. Was this the sort of person he truly was? Or-
Her head throbbed at the thought. She didn’t want to think herself into circles. Overthinking was her speciality, but it wouldn’t get her anywhere. With a determined set in her jaw, she sat in her favorite armchair and bit into her plain bagel with a satisfied hum. Oh, she needed that.
After a few more bites, she set the plate aside and wiped nonexistent crumbs from her lap. It was now or never. “Do you have any idea,” She began, swallowing thickly, “How stupid I felt? When I went to the cafe and saw the closed sign? My best friend has always been busy on Halloween. Always so busy during the New Years. Our parties were fun, but I was always alone, every holiday and I thought… I thought that’s just how it was. You can’t help having to work or go to a funeral after all, right?”
Natsu gulped, eyes downcast, turning to examine the floor.
“And.. and then-” Lucy’s voice cracked and she clenched her eyes shut, pushing back the burning in her tear ducts, “Your phone rang at your home and Lisanna answered and it all made sense. Everyone I called my friend was together and having. Everyone but me. Was it… something I did? To make you all think I’d be the best person to play with for so long? I keep thinking through it. Trying to figure out why you’d lie. How many years have you been doing it? How much of anything was true between us, and I don’t know what to believe anymore.”
The tears were back and she hated herself. Just a little. Why couldn’t she be strong enough to remain calm and collected? Why couldn’t her rage come out in cold, quiet fury. Why did the emotions have to drain from her like trickling streams that stained her cheeks and exhausted her physically?
She wanted to scream. To hit something. Anything. (A pillow with a picture of Natsu on it maybe-)
There were too many things to say and now that she had the chance, they petered out to a tiny sob. Lucy sank into the chair, fingers dug into the printed fabric of the armrests and she watched Natsu with broken eyes. In the end… she just wanted the truth.
“I never thought you were a bully, Natsu, but I don’t know anymore. I just… don’t know.”
The tense silence that followed was a physical object between them. It crushed Lucy’s lungs and as she watched Natsu struggle to meet her gaze, she knew he felt the same. Her earlier satisfaction at their joint suffering was no more. There was just acceptance. She forced another bite of her bagel, looking for any form of distraction, and almost jumped from her chair when Natsu broke the silence.
Whatever tone of voice she expected from him, it wasn’t a mirrored crack to her own, or a shuddering sob. Ice swam through her veins as she waited.
“I hate that I’ve hurt you.” He confessed, finally looking at her with the most vulnerable expression she’d ever witnessed. “I hate that I lied. I… hate that I’ve been so stupid and the one rule I decided not to break was this. I fucking hate it.”
“I don’t understand-”
“You weren’t supposed to.” He continued as he picked at the bandages. “Me and everyone- … we all lo- like you. We liked spending time with you. You’re as close to family as we could allow but-”
He cut himself off and shook his head. “You gotta understand that this is how it’s always been. How we’ve always done things. It’s how we’ve stayed safe.”
This was going from heartbreaking to just confusing. Lucy didn’t know how to react other than to urge him onward with a wave of his hand, “Go on then. Explain how I���m somehow a danger then. Safe from what? Healthy relationships?”
“Hunters.”
She blinked. “... I don’t follow.”
Natsu’s expression turned tense. His eyes were narrowed, firm in his decision.He slid to his knees on the floor and looked at her as if she were the moon and stars combined.
“I need to show you something.” He whispered, voice hoarse, “it’s against everything Makarov has ordered. Could even get me disowned, but it’s the only way you’ll ever understand. The only way I can be honest.”
For a split second, she thought he was going to rest a hand on her knee, but he kept his hand held in place, imploring her to consider his words. “Please, Lucy,” He begged, and she finally understood the emotion hidden in his empty eyes: fear. “Once I do this… you can throw me out if you want. I’ll never bother you again. Whatever you want. Just… trust me one more time?”
She was shaking her head before she could think on it, “There’s no-... how can I trust you?”
His whimper struck deep into her lungs as he struggled to find his words, “Not trust then.”
Then what? Stubbornly, she wanted to throw him out that instant, too confused and feeling as if he was furthering this game of his. But there was an ounce of curiosity that held her back. “Do I have to go anywhere?”
He shook his head. “Not if you don’t want to. I can show you here.”
Lucy considered the offer. Taking her time to finish off her bagel and take a drink of water. The earlier headache and hunger pains were gone now; held off for a little while. He’d followed her to the letter since he got here and gave her all the power to turn him away. She hoped it was sincere.
“Show me.” She agreed, ignoring the hope that flashed in his eyes, “If I don’t like what I see then… then I want you gone.”
Natsu didn’t waste a second. He placed his hands on the floor, positioned like a child pretending to be an animal, and kept his gaze on her. Instead of speaking, Lucy felt his thoughts in the piercing set of his eyes. Eyes that were… she gasped.
Gone was the dark-green iris, replaced by a golden amber and slitted pupils. She jolted from her seat, watching in horror as his jaw and shoulders popped out of place, and his face stretched, elongating out with sharp fangs growing.
She barely registered tripping over her chair as she screamed.
#Fairy Tail Fanfiction#Nalu#Nalu Fanfiction#Natsu Dragneel#Lucy Heartfilia#NatsuxLucy#Fairy Tail#FTFanfiction#Halloween Update#Kili's Fanfiction#Violet Moon#My Writing
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Entry 9: 5/12/24 - The Unrestrained Coolness and the Related Tragedy of Darth MotherFucking Maul
Darth Maul is so fucking cool. This much is obvious. For a while - and I mean a while - it was the only thing he had going. He rocked up, had like two generic vaguely sinister lines, and then Ray Parks pulled down his hood, ignited his twin-bladed lightsaber of ultimate badassery and treated us to a dazzling display of acrobatics and a combat style he more-or-less had to invent himself. Given how the majority of lightsaber fights in prior movies are just guys wacking deconstructed cameras at each other (no joke), the improved choreography in Phantom Menace (a movie that doesn’t offer a whole lot more than some boring political talk and more than a few racial caricatures) would have been enough, so it’s absolutely above the call of duty that they brought in a concept as mad and as well-done as the double-sided lightsaber (yes I know its called the saber-staff - shut up).
Then he impales a racist, has a one on one with Ewan Mcgregor so intense that the filmmakers had to slow it down in post, before being promptly cut in half.
I mean damn. What an entrance. What an exit. Maul was cool. His weapon was cool. His design was cool. His fucking music is a contender for the best in Star Wars.
Fun fact, his horns were originally going to be feathers, but they got misinterpreted when the prosthetics guys got the concept art. Also, also, Ray Parks forgot he had an earring in when he showed up on set. George Lucas said he quite liked the addition and so it was decided they’d keep it in.
Point is, I love Darth Maul, and if he’d stayed dead there I’d have been perfectly happy with what we got. It was short, sweet, uncomplicated and sometimes that’s all you need. Phantom Menace needed a lot more, of course, but man did they get Maul right. Could he have benefited from more personality? Sure, but it goes without saying that he kicks ass in every bit of the just under fifteen minutes he’s on screen for that movie, and he is ninety percent of the reason that I watch it.
But then comes along Sam Witwer.
God damn do I love Sam Witwer. As an unabashed, lifelong fan of Star Wars (even though sometimes the fandom makes me want to pull my own eyes out) it is so nice to have him behind the scenes. For Solo, during Maul’s reveal as the movie-long veiled threat of Crimson Dawn (a shitty revelation that ultimately did nothing to improve an otherwise unnecessary movie), the film-makers made a point of wanting Ray Parks (yes they got him back, the legendary stunt and choreography dude himself, to sit in a chair) to stand (showing off his new cg robot legs to catch up any mooks who hadn’t seen Clone Wars) and ignite his double-sided lightsaber, at which point Sam Witwer gingerly raised his hand and delicately informed them that he couldn’t do that on account it being cut in half in Phantom Menace.
It’s just nice to know that there’s someone on the sets of those movies that cares about the same kind of shit as I do - even though it doesn’t really matter. I mean he remade his double-sided lightsaber anyway for season seven of Clone Wars.
So the Witwer Maul is a slight recharacterisation of Maul as we know him from episode one. Or rather, to put it another way, the Witwer Maul is a characterisation of Maul as we don’t know him from episode one. I mean what’s there to know? Step one start the music, step two kick-ass.
But the Witwer Maul has a lot more meat to his bones. First of all he’s got a wider vocabulary than I think we give him credit for, and he’s a lot more contemplative and soft spoken, though prone to not uncommon growling outbursts. You get the sense that he is a man who, having been separated from his Master, from all prior forms of authority and, crucially, direction, is finally stepping - with his new robotic chicken legs - into his own independence. And not just that, but command, for he has an apprentice - a brother - the rather stupidly named Savage Opress.
There’s a kind of elegance to the way he carries himself, a sort of austere regality, as if the knowledge that he was once Palpatine’s chosen apprentice, privy to all his grand schemes, has rubbed off on him. He seems under no delusion that it was going to be anyone other than him who would be the heir apparent to the Sith.
And this is what I really wanted to talk about. Maul is so fucking cool, just on a basic ass level. Foundation coolsville is he - population Maul.
And what’s funny about this is that he’s, well, one of the most pathetic characters in Star Wars.
I genuinely think Darth Maul, amazingly, has become one of the best written characters in Star Wars. It’s not even something that’s focused on too much, and I think because of this he's able to be so nuanced a character. This is frankly incredible coming from a character who, upon intial inspection, may come across a tad one note; literally all of his lines, barring a choice few, are some variation on “your destruction is near… my evil plan… Ezra, don’t leave me, I’m so lonely.”
That last one’s reading between the lines a little but you get the point.
But I think, when you first meet him in Clone Wars, when he’s a big metal spider, a mad raving lunatic, that is Maul at his purist. I think that animalistic depiction of Maul, chattering and wallowing in a junk world, stays at the core of the Witwer Maul the entire time. And of course he’s brought back to something resembling sanity, but all he can do is rave endlessly about Kenobi and his hatred and his revenge. These things occupy his every thought, and no matter what he does in service of these motivators, he’s never satisfied. He exacts his vengeance against Kenobi by killing Satine before his eyes, and even then, after years of being hunted by the empire, the only thing he can bring himself to do is hunt down that same Jedi that slew him all those years ago and attempt once again to destroy him.
Ultimately, his downfall.
Maul reads to me as a character that is trapped, and maybe he doesn’t fully realise he is until about Rebels, but even then he’s still a helpless slave to his actions. There’s this really poignant moment when he is beaten by Ben Kenobi in a spaghetti western style duel over the Dunes of Tatooine, where he lies dying in his nemesis’ arms and proclaims that Luke will avenge them.
Them.
It’s almost an admission that Maul knows his actions had no great meaning to them, that it was nothing but baseless slaughter in the name of a primal rage, but that he felt helpless to do anything else because hating was all that he knew. It was all he could understand - Sidious had seen to that. Hatred was quite literally his fuel, it got him through every tribulation and he knew that as long as he could hold onto it, hold onto his mindless thirst for vengeance against someone or other, he could survive through any level of setback, brutality or degradation, be it the lost of his destiny, his legs, his brother.
Maul is a heinously awful person, but in that awfulness there is a victimhood that shaped him to what he became - a pathetic, vile monster, demanding in every way except words to be put down. And when he is, he accepts it without hesitation, without resentment, without anger. He finally lets it go, assured that the one thing he desired most, righteous vengeance for the wrongs committed to him by the person that truly manufactured them, will come to fruition.
Yeah I’ve watched Darth Porg’s “Maul - Hatred” video before, why do you ask?
#openjournal#journal#diary#digital diary#touchtypingjourney#star wars#darth maul#maul#maul opress#hatred#character analysis#godilovedarthmaulsomuch
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I made the decision to be extra-judicious on deciding what constituted a spoiler for the new season of Strange New Worlds and I'm sticking with that.
But I have thoughts and I’ve spent way too much time thinking about them for a season and a half and I can’t hold them in anymore. So here you go.
Definite spoilers for episode 5 and everything before it under the cut. TL;DR at the very bottom of this way too long post.
Episode 5 was an absolute banger of an episode in terms of Hollywood entertainment value. But, and this is a big BUT, what the actual hell are the writers doing?
The Christine/Spock/T’Pring love triangle is tarnishing the gift that was given to Trek fans when Strange New Worlds was announced and it's becoming way too obvious not to comment on.
It’s maddening that they’ve decided to take a thirty second scene of a one-sided crush from the original series (Chapel confessing her love for Spock in The Naked Time) and turned it into a two-sided love affair that's part of a love triangle. It is, quite literally, derailing what is otherwise an incredible show.
I hear you asking… Seriously? Aren’t you being extreme? How could a consensual affair do that? Or.... You're a Spirk blog. Aren't you biased? Oh boy, I wish it were that simple. This is coming from a literal lifelong Trek fan who had Trouble with Tribbles memorized before I had an inkling what romance even was, and who - fortunately - was taught by my Trekkie father what made good writing.
The love triangle is not good Trek or good writing.
For reasons that likely have to do with Spock being arguably the most well known character in Star Trek canon (pop culture wise), the writers have chosen to focus on him. And what kind of storyline can they give us since Spock goes through a massive, decades long character arc in the original series and movies? (Spoiler alert, I answer that at the end and it's not a love triangle.)
For reasons that likely have to do with Peck’s appearance and natural charisma, they’ve decided to give Spock love interests - not just one but two.
Let’s ignore that Spock doesn’t show interest in either Christine or T’Pring in the original series. Really, that’s the least of the problems and easily explained away.
Where the problems arise are two fold - Spock’s emotional journey and the minimization of two strong female characters to love interests.
Spock’s emotional journey - As great as parts of this episode were (looking at you, Amanda), what it achieved was Spock coming to terms with his human side in a way that the Spock we know from the original series hasn’t accepted. It takes original series Spock until The Motion Picture (perhaps not until after The Voyage Home), to be comfortable in being both human and Vulcan. So the ground Spock gained in this episode? Strange New Worlds, if it continues as part of the prime timeline, can only result in character regression for Spock. As a fan of Spock in all iterations, that regression will be a heartbreaking and horrible way to end a hopeful show.
Christine and T’Pring as love interests - Dear god, can these women exist without being defined by a man please? It’s 2023. This shouldn’t be something female characters have to ask for. Sure, there was more about Christine in this episode, but her arc still revolved around Spock. And not only that, but we got the Korby name drop in this episode (her future fiancé). I'd love to think that this isn't headed in a direction where Christine will hook up with Spock then he’ll pull away and she jumps ship to Korby only to be defined again by a man. But for fuck's sake, this last season and a half hasn't given me much hope. Jess Bush is amazing as Christine. Is it too much to let Christine be her own woman? And T’Pring? I adore T'Pring way more in Strange New Worlds than I expected to. So, please, help a Vulcan woman out. T’Pring is already relegated to nothing in the narrative after Amok Time. If there’s going to be an insistence on bringing her into the story can she please not be defined by Spock then Stonn? I'm BEGGING the Strange New Worlds writers - let these characters and actors shine as fully realized women.
But the larger problem is that this single decision for a love triangle has not only fated these three characters to regression and minimization - IT'S DIMMING THE POSSIBILITIES FOR EVERYONE.
When Strange New Worlds was announced, there were so many possibilities. A whole new part of canon to be explored and expanded. NEW CHARACTERS, NEW PLACES, NEW MORAL QUANDARIES, NEW EXPLORATIONS.
But we only get 10 episodes a season, right? Not the 26ish we got with the original series, The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager, and Enterprise. (Discovery, I'm looking at you and weeping too.)
So, why are the writers insisting on episodes focusing on an unnecessary love triangle when they could be doing this:
Uhura - Hello? SHE'S RIGHT THERE AND CELIA IS INCREDIBLE. The original series is notorious for brushing Uhura under the rug and other people can speak way more intelligently on Uhura meta than I can. But, I mean, she didn't even have a canon first name until 2009. So. Yeah. Good news, Strange New Worlds can change all of that. Build her history, show us her successes, her fears, her failings, glimpses into her past. Give her a chance to have a dalliance with the "alien of the week." Uhura is a beloved character for so so so many wonderful reasons. Give us the stories about her that deepen that love.
Erica - Oh, Erica. My beloved Erica. Paramount PR keeps saying that last week's episode was "Erica's Big Moment" and if it truly was her biggest moment of the season, then I weep for her and Melissa Navia. All we learned in that episode was that she's Erica Ortegas and she flies the ship (and, well, that Navia has a depth in her they haven't let her show with Erica so far). Erica does pilot and flies really goddamn well, but we already knew that. What about her time in the Klingon War? What about her family? Her friends off the ship? What was it that either made her determined to become the best pilot or that happened in her past that inspired her to become that pilot? How does she feel about being on the Enterprise? How does she feel about soup or carpet or art? There's nothing, literally NOTHING, in future canon about her and right now her Memory Alpha entries for her life before Strange New Worlds is seven sentences. SEVEN SENTENCES. All of this for a fan favorite character. *sigh*
Sam - The potential for this character is limitless and all we've really gotten is him touching something he shouldn't have, being xenophobic to Spock, and that he doesn't pick up his dirty dishes. Seriously? We know more about Jim Kirk in Strange New Worlds and he's not even on the Enterprise or in the same timeline! When we rewatch Operation Annihilate, give us a reason to mourn with Jim. Make that episode a billion times worse because Sam is a character that we know and care about outside of being Jim's brother.
Pike - Okay, so admittedly, Pike is probably the most fleshed out character besides Spock in canon and they're not shying away from the future he knows is coming. That's been handled really well. And they've also done a great job of showing how much Pike cares. But, what makes Pike one of the "great captains" and how has his past turned him into who he is today (the canon pieces with his father have so much possibility) and what is he doing behind the scenes to fight for his crew and his ship? I feel like we got more of the "great captain" in Discovery than we've gotten in Strange New Worlds. And, dear god again with the "romance," can his love interest get a canon first name please? Hard to buy he loves her when he calls her Captain Batel even in his personal log.
Una - She was pretty much a canonical blank slate going into Strange New Worlds and they've done some incredible episodes with her, but I'd love to see her actually be the XO? Making that a question because she absolutely is, but we have yet to really see that in practice. The relationship between Pike and Una deserves so so much more screen time. Let them be captain and first officer. Explore Pike mentoring her, and give way more of her mentoring crew. Let her be more than Illyrian. What are the unique challenges she faces as the highest ranked woman and non-Human on the ship? Is she a fighter or a negotiator or some secret third thing? Does she have an intricate knowledge of some space anomaly or ship function that no one else on board does? What are her future goals and plans? I'm rambling now, but the point is that she's a character who disappears from canon after Strange New Worlds and she's the goddamn FIRST OFFICER OF THE ENTERPRISE. Let her be that until she isn't anymore.
La’An and M'Benga - Honestly, I'm not going to put much here for La'An because out of all the "new" characters in Strange New Worlds, La'An has been fleshed out the most. And, out of all the "barely exists in canon" characters, M'Benga is the same. But I'm listing them because they make my point. La'An and M'Benga are good examples of what happens when the writers focus on characters who either don't exist in canon or barely exist there. We know pieces of their backstory and their motivations. We know what keeps them up at night. Both actors have given performances that tie the audience to their characters emotionally. And yet, there's seasons worth of more material for both of them.
So. To come back to my original point - why are the writers focusing on a love triangle that tramples on canon and minimizes female characters when they are wealthy af with primo characters?
I mean, there are so many other ways they could have gone with Christine (making her bisexuality more than a one-off line, having her struggle with what happened on the Farragut, exploring her role during the Klingon War, family, friends, facing moral quandaries in her research...), and Spock (his relationship with Sarek, Vulcan rituals and practices we've never seen ((double parentheses here to emphasize that to us, as viewers, Vulcan *is* a strange new world and there's still a hell of a lot of Vulcan stuff that's veiled in mystery)), and MICHAEL ((remember Michael, his sister, who got a one line mention in the first episode then nothing?? Yeah, that Michael)), Spock's grief over losing Hemmer and Michael so closely together, etc...). Poor T'Pring is pretty much relegated to love interest and plot device at this point unfortunately. Instead of the love triangle route, they could've cut the sex scenes and made her a cool, calculating advisor to Spock and the Angel/Sybok plotline could've still happened. But alas, was not meant to be.
I've written a lot of words and taken up way too much of my day with this, but I seriously couldn't hold it in any longer. Look, I love Strange New Worlds, but I also seriously grieve for the show that it could've been and I seriously hope it will become that show in future seasons.
Strange New Worlds is gorgeous, the sets and special effects are A+, the actors are all pretty too and know how to command a scene. There's a lot to work with. But let's not forget that the original series was put together with styrofoam, glitter, and a prayer and it birthed this 60 year franchise. What kept people coming back to Trek were the relationships and a found family working together to explore, not a forced love triangle.
TL;DR
The insistence on the Christine/Spock/T'Pring love triangle is dooming all of their characters to massive character regression and minimization *and* cheating us out of learning about and loving the characters who are practically unknown in canon.
#star trek#strange new worlds#snw spoilers#strange new worlds spoilers#star trek meta#strange new worlds meta#this is about as contentious as i'll get on this blog#because it's supposed to be a happy place for me#but damn#i couldn't NOT say something#it's driving me bananas#adding tags because i have more thoughts#this isn't even getting into that the writers fundamentally DON'T KNOW who spock is#like they really really don't#and vulcan emotions are more powerful than human's but he couldn't control the human emotions?#i don't get it#but they don't either so#adding one more#the bacon was a big wtf moment too#spock is a vegetarian because of respect for life not biology#but again#fundamentally misunderstanding spock seems to be the flavor of the day#fuck#adding more tags#how did i forget to mention that we’re wasting episodes on an unnecessary love triangle that’s DOOMED FROM THE START ON ALL SIDES#so it’s extra extra unnecessary#i just#i’m so tired#this episode was just BAD all around
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Guardian Family Gift Exchange Pt 5.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✺✳ ┅ ⑅ ┅ ✳✺ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Once his eldest child sat down, Rhett stood up, stretching for the moment before going to the table, getting another little envelope that was on the table.
"It felt so funny I got one of my three children again, I feel almost guilty. I swear I'm not neglecting you two", Rhett looked to his eldest and youngest, the two giggling his comment. "Yeah, favouritism!", Johnathan raised his arms and got a laugh of the whole family, "Whatcha get me, Dad?". "Something I think you like", Rhett winked and handed him the envelope.
Johnathan opened the envelope, his tail wagging lightly in interest, and when got out two tickets, his tail skyrocketed and he let out an excited squeal, "Oh my god!! How did you get these?! This show is so hard to get tickets for and these are FRONT SEAT!". Rhett chuckled proudly, adjusting his glasses, "Well, I got a few friends and like Cedar, they hooked me up into getting my hands on these. You and whoever you wanna take can enjoy that show when it comes around". "YESSSSSSSS!!!", Johnathan cheered, "THANK YOU DAD!!!", he quickly jumped up and gave his dad a hug, almost making him fall over if he hadn't caught him.
While Rhett slowly got Johnathan off of him, Hadar stood up and grabbed his present, much like Seth it could be safe to assume what his gift would be. His perfectly wrapped, boxed up gift was scooped up into his arms as he approached Morgan, handing it to her with a gentle smile.
"Here you are, Morgan". "Thanks, gramps", she smiled, taking another sip of her next glass of wine before getting to undoing the wrapping, of her box. Her smile widened as she saw the present neatly folded in the box "Awr... how darling!", she stood up and a long knitted cardigan uncurled in her arms. It was knitted with beautiful purple wool and hints of a sparkly silver and black in the wool, almost making it look starry and sparkling. Two patches that were pockets had a star and moon symbol, that she inspected and smiled at. "This fits perfectly... did you pinch one of my cardigans to get the measurements?", Morgan asked, smirking. Hadar looked away awkwardly at the accusation, "I wouldn't call it stealing I just borrowed it! You-You didn't even notice". "Well it was worth it, this is so cuuuuute!", Morgan spun around as she tried it on, coming over and kissing Hadar on the cheek and hugging him, "Thanks grandpa". The spotted brown echidna giggle shyly in response. If anyone was paying attention, they would notice there were two items left on the table now, a large box and a small cylinder present. Marcello had scooped up the box, looking to Lance. "Here ya go, buddy! I can't wait to see your reaction to this!!". Marcello giggled as he put the large box down in front of Lance, who eyed it curiously. But the sound had gotten his attention the most. He recognised that noise that came from inside far too well. With an almost child-like excitement, Lance ripped the box open, his eyes lighting up at the sight, a large box Blocko replica of a ship from a particular sci-fi movie that Lance particularly liked. "Oh my GOOOOOOD! I FINALLY HAVE IT!!".
Marcello kicked his feet seeing how excited Lance got, "i was so worried you were gonna buy it spontaneously, oh I'm so glad you didn't. I would've been SO MAD at you!". "I couldn't even if I fucking wanted to, it was never in stores and online, it was so expensive! oh my god, oh my god-!!" Lance's hands started shaking, here come the stims, "I'M BUILDING THIS RIGHT NOW!!"
His father and son especially started laughing as he quickly opened the box, emptying many of the bags of pieces and the HUGE booklet of instructions.
Knuckles then looked up the table, that last gift must be his... he was curious to what was inside. It was an odd shape... and then realised who was the remaining Guardian who hadn't given their gift yet. His eldest... he was immediately nervous. Shepherd stood up, picking the gift carefully and eyeing Knuckles, yawning again. "I must admit, I shared your sentiment Knuckles, I for a moment couldn't decide what to get you so...I had to get quite creative. I really hope you enjoy this", Shepherd spoke, handing him the present. Knuckles held his breath, wondering what on earth his eldest grandfather could have gotten him. He hadn't particularly needed or wanted anything, so he couldn't imagine he had made this easy for him. When he slipped the item out of the paper, it revealed a wooden cylinder case... it had a lid. When he opened it, two slips of rolled up paper fell onto his lap. How curious... Even the others had stopped in their activities to watch quietly, equally curious what Shepherd had done. Knuckles picked it up, unrolling it carefully... a map. It had marks all over certain spots across the world, not even on their island, the world... and coordinates at the bottom. what could these mean? "I'd recommend you read the other if you need some...clarification. You can read it to yourself or outloud if you want". And so Knuckles did, looking it over. He could tell the rest of the family wanted to know, so he chose to say it outloud. "To my adventurous grandson. I'm very aware of your many adventures, off and on our island home. And one thing i've come to learn about you from listening is your interest and skill for finding treasures. This thought kept returning to me while plotting a gift, and then this idea came to me. So instead of a single physical gift, I figured what would be the best gift for a treasure hunter...", Knuckles stopped to read it over, "Then a treasure hunt just for you". The others looked to eachother, surprised, curious. They continued to listen in, occasionally looking at Shepherd who watched on for Knuckles' reaction. "On the map, are locations, where I've gone and hidden many items for you to find. What are they? I will not tell you specifically, only that I have found or purchased a variety of items that I felt would interest you. Historical items, gemstones, even little trinkets that might be fun. All hidden safely away for you to hunt down at your leisure. You have coordinates and hints on the back of this note. The very first one if you wish is hidden in our home right now. Feel free to go after it anytime you'd like. Happy Holidays, my grandson. Sincerely, Shepherd".
Knuckles stared over the pieces of paper in silent awe, the others around them chattering in excitement and curiosity. "Dad...is THAT what you were doing when you vanished every couple of days this past month?!", Marcello asked, visibly surprised. "And why you're so tired?", Lance asked, holding a few of the bricks in his hand. "Yes... I really wanted to try and make this idea work", Shepherd yawned again, looking to Knuckles and giving an awkward smile that almost looked like one he would give himself, "I... hope you like it". "...This... this is amazing... I...I don't deserve this. This is so much work, just for me...", Knuckles looked to the ground, not believing how much effort his grandfather put in just for him. They weren't even that close, he only just started training with him a few years ago. "Don't be ridiculous, Knuckles. You are a wonderful young man and you deserve to know that", Shepherd gave a pat to Knuckles shoulders, "You've grown a lot this year, as you have the previous years... I just know you're going to be a great Guardian when you're ready", he gave an affirming smile to his grandson, before reverting back to his usual neutral expression.
The two stood awkwardly for a moment, Knuckles decided to initial a... rather awkward hug. Adorable but visibly awkward hug. "Thank you, grandfather...Happy Holidays to you, too".
✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝ ✧ ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* END ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧ ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ First ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ Previous ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇
#knuckles the echidna#lance the echidna#morgan the echidna#johnathan the echidna#rhett the echidna#hadar the echidna#marcello the echidna#shepherd the echidna#guardian family#the guardian family#rp blog#ask blog#ooc: knuckles' present was such a cool idea i got i couldn't think o fanything else#ooc: i got emotional again writing that part#guardian family stories
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project hail mary by andy weir [review]
read from august 20th - august 23rd
review:
beware - (slight) spoilers ahead
i did not expect to like this that much?? i did not expect this book to go how it went either!!!!! now i’m just gonna say up front - the only reason this isn’t a 5-star is because there was a LOTTTTT of space jargon. the book tries its best to explain it so i at least had some idea but…. i’m sorry by the end i was lost with how much jargon there was. not only was there insane science technical terms but made up concepts???? my brain short circuited it couldn’t keep up. even if i had no idea wtf was going on usually i could excuse that, but i will say when there were paragraphs of jargon by the end i just started skimming because i knew i would just be wasting my own time and hating every second of it. sue me. other than that? this book was PERFECTION. i get why this guy had his book made into an award winning movie. ngl this needs to be made into one too. idk how they’d make rocky but honestly i don’t care! grace was so funny and quippy. he did lose a bit of this by the middle, but tbh at that point based on the personality established i had grown to love him without his funny bone rearing its head every sentence so i wasn’t mad. i loved his flashbacks appearing in progression, especially his dynamic with stratter. now - i gotta spotlight my boy rocky. ROCKY!!!!!!! i started crying over him because i actually just loved him so much. i won’t lie i did have to google illustrations of what the actual fuck he looked like cuz i actually could not imagine it at all. yes i am an avid fantasy & sci-fi reader with slight aphantasia and what? but after i got over that slight hump (i’m so serious i googled a drawing of him literally when his physical description was given so… this didn’t take long) i ADORED rocky. he’s my homeboy. i actually started panicking because i thought rocky sabotaged the ship at the end. i was FREAKING OUT!!!! thankfully he didn’t or i would’ve been PISSED. he was so quirky and made up for grace’s lack of funny one liners later. the world building here also needs a great pat on the back. i mean i imagine the brain behind a blockbuster space movie would be great at world building…. and i would be correct in thinking that. everything down to the hypothetical(?) aliens & planets & situations felt so realistic that i actually forgot this book wasn’t sci-fi and was real. like if i went to space i would see a rocky. i saw on the news tokyo had 100mm of rain in an hour and my brain went “oh yeah that makes sense based on what the prediction surrounding astrophage’s effect on earth” and i had to pause. and realise. oh wait that’s not even real. it’s just raining a lot because of global warming and…. idk rain. not an alien parasite(?). even tho i had no actual idea what was happening on the logistical/technical side of things, from the dumbed down versions of events provided, it felt entirely realistic!!!!! i was so locked in reading this. can u tell seeing i read this in like 3 days as well. the relationship between rocky & grace ate so bad. god and the ending too?????? ugh impeccable. no notes. chefs kiss. i had such a fun time reading this. anyways omw to add the martian to my letterboxd watch list 🫡
#project hail mary#book review#andy weir#project hail mary andy weir#project hail mary rocky#project hail mary review#andy weir review#spoiler book review#sci fi book#science fiction book#science fiction#scifi#sci-fi#andy weir project hail mary#bookworm#bibliophile
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How did it take me until April 3, 2024 to realize that Lemony Snicket is absolutely a trans woman and someone needs to get her some E, stat?
- Lemony is always, always, always hiding her face. Well... okay they cut it from Netflix, but in the books and movie, the most iconic thing about Lemony is that in every photograph, she's managed to hide her face. And yes, allegedly that's to hide her identity, but like... Is it? Or is that an excuse and really Lemony just does not like her face because it's too masculine? God knows most pre-transition folks hate being photographed
- Have you seen the way she talks about Beatrice? Have you read that letter from The Beatrice Letters? "Summer without you is as cold as winter. Winter without you is even colder," "I cherished, you perished, the world's been nightmarished," "When we first met, you were pretty and I was lonely. Now I am pretty lonely." Straight men do not write about women like that. Lesbians do. Especially that letter. Do you think that a straight man wrote "I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you next Tuesday" or "I will love you until the chances of us running into one another slip from skim to zero, and until your face is fogged by distant memory" or "I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else – your co-star, perhaps, or Y., or even O., or anyone Z. through A., even R. although sadly I believe it will be quite some time before two women can be allowed to marry?" Absolutely not. Those are obviously the words of a lesbian.
- Pretty much everyone important in Lemony's life is a woman. All of the people closest to him: Beatrice, Kit, R, Moxie, and Ellington. Sure, he does interact with other people, but those are the 5 closest relationships indicated by the text. Obviously you can be a man with all female friends, but how many times has a "man" always gotten along better with women and ended up not being a man.
- The audiobooks are (mostly) read by Tim Curry, and we all know he plays a pretty famous transsexual
- Lemony strikes me as very self-sabotaging. Now, this is my own opinion. One could believe that all of the mess that Lemony is in is purely VFD's fault. Maybe VFD forced her to take the blame for Olaf's crimes and generally end up buried so deep in accusations that she had to fake her own death and go on the lam. However, I can see an absolutely self-hating Lemony who volunteered to take on the role that she did. Who chose to be the fall guy. And why would she hate herself so much? Dysphoria. A deeply dysphoric and closeted woman who figures that since she isn't happy with herself, she might as well be the one to have her life ruined by the schism. That way all the actually happy and good people don't need to have their potential ruined.
- Similarly, Lemony never actually jumps in to save the Baudelaires, merely writing about them from afar. She is, to put it bluntly, a coward. She tells herself she's doing something to help them, but won't intervene in the way they really need. Why not? Because she's so deep in self-loathing! Again, that could just be because of her failures in life, but like... What if she also hates herself because of repressed dysphoria?
- Lemony is just generally really, really, really, really sad. And look, I know I'm aromantic as hell, but do we really think that's *just* because she lost the love of his life? Or do we think maybe something else is making her that gloomy?
- Look I just really want Lemony to have a way to be happy. And there's no bringing Beatrice back. But. HRT? Sure. I bet there's HRT in the snicketverse. Why not? I take the reading that Beatrice and Bertrand had Violet at like 20, which makes Lemony only like 35. He's 35, and yet she's completely given up on life. She is just a shelll of a person. She doesn't actually interact with anyone and spends all her time researching terrible things that happen. She's too young to be resigned to misery. I want Lemony to have a way to be reborn and find some form of happiness again. Thus, I would like to blame some of her misery on living as a man, and propose that transition could save her.
- Again. Lemony hates pictures and doesn't like to show her face. Give her some FFS! Stat!
- Come on. Beatrice and Lemony are an iconic couple. You cannot tell me that if given the choice, you want them to be M/F when they could be F/F
Okay. I rest my case. Now to submit to @couldtransitionsaveher
#lemony Snicket#a series of unfortunate events#asoue#snicketverse#trans headcanon#trans fem headcanon#trans femme headcanon
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20 Questions for 20 Writers (where did the other 10 questions go?)
thank you for the tag @twinsunstars !
Is writing a hobby or way of life?
hobby for sure. it would be wicked to actually publish something original but who am i kidding haha
2. A journal full of writing notes or a clean, completed manuscript?
oh my god my system is such a mess. i have texts i send to myself, notetaking apps on my phone, google docs, libreoffice, physical paper notes, screenshots of old notes- its chaos.
3. Who (or what) is your writing inspiration?
all the weird shit i read and watch, and people i chat with who put ideas in my head
4. Which is worse: someone you "idolize" reading your first draft or listening to you sing?
listening to me sing, im awful. i like people who i think are better at stuff than me critiquing my work, it can be embarrassing but i think it helps
5. Has writing from someone else's POV ever changed your own perspective?
i dont know if it changes my perspective entirely, but it definitely puts me in a different mindset for awhile, which is cool
6. Tumblr, AO3, LiveJournal, or FFN?
back in the day, livejournal and ffn. my old shit is probably still floating out there lost in the void. nowadays its ao3, and i think i've put like one thing on tumblr.
7. AO3 wordcount, and are you satisfied with it?
81,745. not bad considering i started posting in january of 24
8. What movie/book/fic gripped you irrevocably?
SO MANY fics i cant even list them all. star wars will always have a chokehold on me, but some of my first works were actually for the Band of Brothers fandom which i've just gotten back into recently (15 ish years later, WOW)
9. What's the highest compliment you could ever be given, and have you been given it?
honestly any comment makes me happy. this is weird but also when people say it made them sad or horny lmao
10. What defines your writing style?
semi colons, run on sentences, em dash. my adhd ass cant stop typing to save my life.
no pressure tags <3 <3 <3 @a-gassy-antelope @ithinkabouttzu @little-zabrak @theweirdgoodbyes @executethyself35 @teabights @bleedingcoffee42 @1waveshortofashipwreck @dontirrigateme @mstiemountainhop I KNOW IM FORGETTING SOME OF YALL IM SORRY just comment if you see this ill tag you
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Plotting out "Weaver" (Disney movie)

You can check out my post on the fanmade Disney Resurgence era from which this is based here. (And disclaimer: this post is a quick creation that is not the result of years like an actual film would be, and thus may not match the storytelling/music that properly reflects the culture.)



Background
(Let's assume "Moana 2" is successful or I may have to edit this, lol.) Given that "Moana" is the highest-grossing Disney princess movie--not adjusted for inflation--and has received love for it's positive representation, Disney opts to make another Pacific Islander story. They hire Taiki Waititi to co-write and co-direct the film with Jared Bush. Early on, it becomes very apparent that Disney is trying to craft another "Moana," pushing for another Polynesian story. However, they eventually feel Disney's pressure to copy their successful Pacific Island film, and opt to go in a different direction, covering Micronesian cultures instead. They manage to get Disney to lay off when they remind Disney that Micronesia and Polynesia are both Austronesian cultures and thus have some similarities. The two directors personally visit Guam, Kiribati, and the Federated States of Micronesia, as well as doing independent research on other Micronesian lands. Disney also brings over the team of Opetaia Foa'i, Mark Mancina, and Lin-Manuel Miranda--again, to replicate "Moana," but the team thankfully refuses to make a carbon copy. The animation also opts for the painter-y style used for "Sweetheart," and Minkyu Lee provides the concept art and general art direction. While originally planning to make a musical circling around the male protagonist, execs interfered again, knowing that the Disney princess line is their most profitable aspect, so the protagonist was changed to female. Certain tweaks to the film were made, again to make the film similar to it's Polynesian counterpart. One notable change was the protagonist going from well-rounded to having a thinner body type, with Disney concerned that they'd receive accusations of racism, similar to when they depicted Maui as having a more obese build.
Plot

(Plot used for visual aid; not entirely sure if it's AI or not)
In the beginning, the king of the sky created five worlds, and one of them was the world of humans, and they were all connected in a cosmic web. But one day, the trickster god sought to disturb the balance of the worlds, untangling the web until the worlds began to collide and clash, fated for eventual destruction. Only a hero filled with strength and compassion can dispel the chaos and bring order back to the worlds.
Characters


Chirika--A young woman tasked with connecting the threads of Isaulo (based on the Truk sky god of wisdom and magic, Anulap, and Nareau, the spider god of creation from the Gillbert Islands). She is shy and uncertain, but with the guidance of the gods of the seas and stars, she ventures to travel to various lands and tether them back to their place in the cosmic web with the help of her mother's spirit and a spider that's a servant of Isaulo.

Hirao--The second son of the chief and an object of affection for Chirika (one he reciprocates, but his higher social standing prevents her from acting on it; the film doesn't explicitly say this, but there are hints of affection between them), he is a dreamer who is renound for his heavily spiritual visions. He sneaks away to join Chirika on her journey, reasoning that having someone who can see the future is kind of important on a divinely appointed journey.


Kilimaed--Trickster god who untethered the 5 worlds, he dances in the chaos that came about from different beings colliding and the carnage that could come from it. That said, despite being a god in his own right, he has certain rules he must abide by; chaos cannot live without order, after all. As is his nature, he seeks to decieve and manipulate, but if Chirika can outsmart him at his own game, she may hold the key to unifying the worlds once more.
Songs
Web of Life--The introductory story about how Isaulo created the five worlds: the human world, the world of merpeople, the world of the gods, the world of the giants, and the world of the dead. While these lands had their own strengths and harmonies, eventual discord led to the conflation of worlds, creating turmoil.
Never Be Like You--Chirika's mother's spirit visits her, and she believes perhaps she is meant to be the one to reunify the worlds. However, the village looks down on her due to her sheepish nature, and doubt she has the mettle for such a task.
The Spider's Vision--Hirao has a vision about the rebuilding of the worlds, but only if a warrior with great strength and compassion does so. Many people attempt to take up the task, but have died, been imprisoned, or never returned to lacking the mental, emotional, or physical strength required to complete various tasks.
I Cannot Lie--Kilimaed visits Chirika when she's in the land of the mermaids and offers to make a deal with her: he will find Isaulo and ask him to reinstate the order of the worlds, but only if Chirika herself breaks the web immediately after. Confused, Chirika rejects his deal.
Divine Expectations--When Chirika discovers that Isaulo has been imprisoned in Kilimaed's domain to prevent him rebuilding the worlds, she realizes Kilimaed's odd deal: as the a human, Chirika breaking the threads the make the cosmic web will have no affect, but no one but Isaulo knows this, and Kilimaed wanted her to arouse the anger of the gods and take the blame for his crimes.
Never Be Like You (Reprise)--Chirika returns home a hero, and she rejoices in who she is, glad that it allowed her to save the worlds without having to compromise her identity.
Hope you enjoyed it--even if it's heavily "Moana"-coded. Lemme know if you have any questions about this or my other Reinvention Era posts. "Khoeli" is up next!
Edit: Huh. After seeing "Moana 2," it feels even more similar.
#disney#disney animation#moana#dreamworks#dreamworks animation#avatar#avatar the last airbender#koh#eris
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200 Films of 1952
Film number 157: Mother Riley Meets the Vampire (aka, A Vampire Over London and My Son the Vampire)
Release date: July 1952
Studio: Fernwood Productions/Renown Pictures
Genre: comedy
Director: John Gilling
Producer: John Gilling, Stanley Couzins, George Minter
Actors: Arthur Lucan, Bela Lugosi
Plot summary: Mother Riley spends most of her time avoiding her rent payments, but due to a crazy mix-up, she finds herself in a mansion with a vampire who is kidnapping women and trying to control the world with robots.
My rating (out of 5 stars): **
Oh god, that was an experience! I put this film on and off my list more than once, but I finally decided to give it a go. It was seriously weird, but I didn’t hate it as much as I feared. It was so wacky and silly, it was never drudgery, but would I want to watch it again? No. And was it funny? Barely. The funniest thing to me was the fact that a contemporary reviewer of the film said it was “stupid, humorless, and repulsive!” That’s a bit harsh, but still hilarious. (minor spoilers)
The Good:
The song! There was one random song in the whole movie, and it was a fun little thing Mother Riley sang with a chorus of “Lift up your finger and say tweet tweet, shush shush, now now, come come!” It seemed pretty clear that it was performed live on set with a piano, which I loved.
It did make me laugh a couple of times with some of its more absurdist humor and funny names. For example, a law office was called “Fleesum Fleesum Fleesum and Grab!”
It had much of the camp you would expect from a dirt-cheap comedic horror film starring a man in drag. It could have had so much more, though.
Bela Lugosi was good. His entrance genuinely made me smile- he came out of a coffin bed wearing a tuxedo and cape.
I liked the maid character Tilly for some reason. She was cute.
The Bad:
The Mother Riley character was played by a male comedian in drag, and let's just say it was an acquired taste that escaped me. Evidently, the Old Mother Riley character was the star of many serials in England, and a large part of her following was children. That makes sense to me, given the broad style of humor.
The “special effects,” if you can call them that, basically consisted of some reversed footage, a man in a robot suit, and terrible rear projection!
It honestly didn’t make me laugh. The humor was mostly uninspired slapstick. If you’re looking for witty British repartee, drive right on past this.
Slide-whistle sound effects?? Really? That illustrates again how basement level low-brow everything was.
The film screamed low budget from start to finish.
The Robot was a huge letdown! It was obviously just a guy in a costume, and not an impressive one at that. He was also easily destroyed in a brawl with an old woman! And yet, he was supposed to help take over the world?
The plot was kind of a stop-start mess. It was mostly a succession of gags, it sucked any suspense out of the story, and there were several dangling threads left at the end.
The Interesting: I learned some old British slang that... well, I’ll let it speak for itself. Early in the movie a man called Mother Riley a “silly old fagg*t.” She looked shocked and responded, “Me a fagg*t?!” I had to look it up, because I was sure that was the word I heard, and indeed it used to be “an abusive term for an old woman.” That was also likely a part of the origin for its homophobic use.
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My experience with filmmaking as a 19 year old kid*
*not a kid
I had three hours to conceptualise and then shoot a film. What was my film going to be about?
March 11th, 2023. I was on a train, going from my Uni back to London when I saw a notification on the god-forsaken YouTube app. It was a video that had been posted by a filmmaker, content creator, and comedian, Joel Haver. He’s a delightfully clever guy who, against all odds, was actually able to get through to me on the topic of “filmmaking” more than any lecturer or seminar leader ever could. The video in question was an announcement video of sorts about a challenge that Joel was hosting once again this year.
The challenge was extremely simple (in theory): Instead of watching the Oscars, make a movie. You had three hours to conceptualise and shoot a 35-minute+ movie, with the following week consisting of editing and uploading said movie to YouTube. I first thought, “I could do this! But I won’t do it” — something I always think to myself whenever I read about a filmmaking challenge, or whenever I come up with a short film idea worth creating —
I never seemed to try.
After the obligatory doubt that fills my mind had dissipated, the song Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now by The Smiths decided to play on my Spotify. Not only is it a great song with a catchy rhythm yet solemn lyrics, but it was also an incredibly well-timed piece of inspiration for what would then turn into WE SHOULD TALK BEFORE YOU LEAVE — my movie.
I immediately texted my friend Jonah — someone who lives directly below me at Uni — asking if he would be available on the evening of March 13th to help me shoot it. This brings up the first “fun fact” that I’ve repeatedly boasted about whenever someone has asked me about this movie — you had THREE HOURS to make this film, and on top of that, the film had to be 35 minutes and up. The idea was to shoot a movie whilst the Oscars was airing and in America, that’s great! But over here in the U.K., that meant I would be filming from midnight to 3 AM. Rough, but doable. So not only was I making a film within the constraints of a three-hour timer, but I was also damaging a sleeping pattern I was still working on at Uni as well as keeping all of my neighbours up thanks to the thin walls and my love for LOUD conversations in my movies.
Jonah immediately got back to me. He was in. I told him I didn’t have an idea or an outline for the film. That would ruin the fun.
I stuck to that. March 12th, 2023. I was in London until Sunday morning. I spent all day trying to distract myself from the endless possibilities of what I could film on Sunday. I didn’t want to plan anything out. I wanted to stick to what Joel Haver had laid out in his video which was: just have fun. Now, with me, fun always has to come with a side of meta-contextual self-analysis that delves into why we do the things that we do as humans and why we feel the things that we feel, so I already knew that even if I went for a funny story about me trying to, let’s say, run faster than The Flash, I would still need a scene or two that broke the characters down so that I could project some sort of deeper meaning onto them. Adding to that, the fact that there wasn’t going to be a script, or anything written down, before the three-hour-timer began deeply worried me. There wasn’t a set guide on where the story was going to go, or even WHAT the story was.
It didn’t matter though. I went on with my day, fell asleep, woke up, and got back on the train.
March 13th, 2023. I arrived at Uni at around 5 pm. I immediately got some rest, knowing that I would be up ’til late. It reached 11 pm. Jonah and I were sitting in my accommodation, talking about what we were going to do for the next three hours once it had hit midnight. I knew I wanted to make a film that starred only me…talking to myself. I loved that visual in my head. I also knew I wanted to use this prop gun that was given to me by a friend when we were in the midst of shooting another project. I grabbed it from a box underneath my bed and realised that it was a dark shade of red. It was too red. It looked fake…because it was. Frantically trying to figure out how I could make it black, I grabbed three Sharpies and scribbled all over the gun. The result was a slightly darker shade of red. Oh well.
The time came and we set the camera up. Talking to yourself for thirty minutes is not hard but it is hard when you have to build some sort of narrative around it. I quickly came up with the idea, inspired by The Smiths song I listened to on the train, to make a film about a guy who’s about to commit suicide but before he can go through with it, another version of him shows up. Now, having been bombarded with the concept of the “multiverse” over the last few years from Marvel, DC, and A24(!), I originally thought about making a film in which other versions of this guy keep turning up and killing themselves in front of him, almost like a horror film. I think I’ll eventually make that short film, as it’s quite a nightmarish yet hilarious idea, but I didn’t have the time to fully flesh out how that would work as a (barely) feature film. So I kept it relatively simple, this other version of the character is just going to be a “vision” inside his head — I even reference the multiverse within the conversation, brushing it off as a cool idea that isn’t real.
We shot the first half of the conversation, with me sitting on the bed, holding the gun. I would say a bunch of random things, a sad (fictional) story about my grandad, and more random things. Then, I got changed, sat in the chair, put in one earphone (in the ear you couldn’t see on camera), and responded to everything the “other” me was saying. It wasn’t too complicated but trying to do it in three hours with minimal planning was stressful — however, it was still fun.
After multiple angles of the same conversation, we ran outside and shot the opening sequence. I also had to smoke a cigarette on camera which my mum did not appreciate but anything for the movie, am I right? We finished the shoot by filming the last scene which was originally going to be completely different but we ran out of time. In fact, when we shot it, I kind of thought that there wasn’t really an ending to the film. The main character comes to his senses, doesn’t kill himself, rips up the suicide note, and watches the Oscars — that’s an ending, for sure. But while shooting, I had no idea that’s what it was going to be. I just ran around this tiny prison cell of a room while my friend Jonah frantically tried to keep me in focus.
The edit is where it came together. The final thing I did to the film in the edit that brought it all together was the digital zoom out to reveal that this film that you had all been watching is now being displayed on the TV. Although, that isn’t what that means. Again, if I had more time, or had made this film without the constraints of the challenge, I would’ve gone with the original ending which I won’t get into here as I would like to circle back to it in the (very) near future. Instead, the ending now represents a feeling I get a lot: depersonalisation. The feeling that your life is almost like a movie and you’re simply viewing it from an outside perspective. It’s a horrible, weird, yet sometimes oddly satisfying feeling. The representation of it in the film kind of sucks. It’s literally just “Look his life is on the TV and he’s watching it while it’s on the TV — “. It’s simple, it’s in your face, and it literally is what it is without any sense of nuance but I think it works for what the film was trying to be…which was…fun. Or at least, that’s what Joel Haver told us to do. Just have fun.
While reading this, you might’ve thought to yourself “Why is he getting so worked up over a competition in which the prize is…nothing?”. And that’s fair. The reason is simply that I used to struggle with going through with things (I still do but in case any potential employers read this, I DEFINITELY DON’T). It took me three years (2017–2020) to finally get the courage to simply admit that I make music and an additional six months of me tinkering with sounds before I could happily release anything with my whiny voice on it. With film, it was even worse. I didn’t release anything publicly (with promotion) until this film…and I’ve been making short films since I was TEN YEARS OLD.
Now I know that…that isn’t weird. It takes time before you can “perfect” something (in your own eyes) to the point where you can say, “Yep, this is it, I want the world to see/hear this” but my point is this: with YouTube (and Vimeo) being a platform that is free for anyone to use, with literally every single human on there, why did it take me so long to admit that I loved making films? Why did it take me so long to show off the films/music videos I would make in my free time? Or even the ones I made at University and College? And the answer, to me, is very simple.
People have a preset notion about what it takes to be a creator and what “art” is. For a lot of people, to them, I would be an “aspiring filmmaker” and I do believe that too. It’s a fair “label” as I am not making money from the films I make, sure. But at the same time, a label like that feels condescending. Almost as if any films I make now don’t hold any significant weight unless they are then rewarded with a multi-million dollar deal with Marvel, or A24 picks up my film for wider release. Why do these big names in the industry acknowledging my existence mean that my art has any more value than it did when I first made it? Isn’t art supposed to exist purely as…art. Not as a product. Now I’m not saying I would be against Marvel giving me a million pounds but my point is that art shouldn’t become “true” art once you can confidently shit on the doubters, make a Marvel movie, and hang out with Vin Diesel. That should just be a luxury. Big-budget films are what they’re called: films with a bigger budget. My film is still a film, I’m still a writer-director even though both of my released short films had a budget of £0 and a cast and crew consisting of no more than four people. A lot of people complain about the oversaturation of big blockbusters and superhero movies in cinemas but won’t go and see an independently produced film just because it doesn’t have the stability of something like a Disney movie — although I’m well aware it’s also to do with the fact that a lot of marketing for movies sucks nowadays so that point doesn’t hold true every time.
I know how this all sounds, and I know it doesn’t really matter, but I think a lot more people would get creative if getting creative wasn’t then linked to a large social media following, or how much money you make from it. We all want money, I want money, obviously, but I also want to make cool stuff without someone treating me like, “This is great! Wait ten years and maybe you can make a REAL film!”.
WE SHOULD TALK BEFORE YOU LEAVE is out now on YouTube. I shot it in three hours and edited it in a day. I play both characters. Thank you to Jonah for helping me with it and thank you to everyone who has watched it and engaged with it. I’m currently writing my next short film which is titled — actually, I’ll wait. If you want to make something, go and make it. Don’t wait for Mickey Mouse to rub your shoulders and give you ten billion dollars.
Have fun. Get creative. And don’t kill yourself, that’s what my film is all about.
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Finished
The Haunting of Alejandra - V. Castro 4/5 ⭐️
Electric Idol - Katee Robert 3.5/5 ⭐️
Learn My Lesson - Katee Robert 5/5 ⭐️
A Worthy Opponent - Katee Robert 4/5 ⭐️
Death Between the Pages - Peggy Jaeger 3.5/5 ⭐️
The Hellbound Heart - Clive Barker 3/5⭐️
My Darling Dreadful Thing - Johanna van Veen 5/5⭐️
Requiem for a Memory - Saige Denmark 2.5/5⭐️
Hunt on Dark Waters - Katee Robert 3/5⭐️
The Haunting of Hill House - Shirley Jackson 4/5⭐️
Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke - Eric LaRocca 2/5 ⭐️
Camp Damascus - Chuck Tingle 4/5⭐️
When I Arrived at the Castle - Emily Carroll 4/5⭐️
From the Belly - Emmett Nahil 5/5⭐️
Hexis - Charlene Elsby 3/5⭐️
Hampton Heights: One Harrowing Night in the Most Haunted Neighborhood in Milwaukee, Wisconsin - Dan Kois 4/5⭐️ (This was sort of a book of short stories and would've been a solid 3/5 but one of the stories gave it another full star!)
How to Sell a Haunted House - Grady Hendrix 5/5⭐️ (This was my first foray into Grady Hendrix and holy shit I love him. This book was so good, I finished it in one night.)
Incidents Around the House - Josh Malerman 5/5⭐️ (Holy fuck, one of the best horror books I've ever read. It sucks you in from page one, definitely one of my top reads of the year!)
The Mary Shelley Club - Goldy Moldavsky 4/5⭐️ (Could have used another edit, basically the first half of the book was setup, but holy shit it had a GREAT ending.)
My Best Friend's Exorcism - Grady Hendrix 4/5⭐️
Currently reading The goal is to get through these three by the end of the month and then just read Horror Movie for book club but we'll see!!
A Dowry of Blood - S.T. Gibson (Definitely not hitting the way I wanted it to, it feels like not a whole lot has happened yet? We'll see how long it takes to pick up.)
Horror Stor - Grady Hendrix (I'm really really trying to get into this one but it's not pulling me in the way his other books have. But I'm not giving up yet!)
The Salt Grows Heavy - Cassandra Khaw
Upcoming TBR We'll see how many of these I actually get through, with all of the ST writing events and kinktober 💀
Horror Movie - Paul Tremblay
The Final Girl Support Group - Grady Hendrix
DNFs of the year
Never Whistle at Night - A dark fiction anthology
The God of the Woods - Liz Moore
Still Life With Bones - Alexa Hagerty - What I read of this was really good, but it was also super heavy and really intense and maybe the time to read this would've been now, given the multiple genocides going on in the world, but I just. Couldn't cut it. I will absolutely be returning to this later, but for now I had to DNF.
Manhunt - Gretchen Falker-Martin - Again, what I read was good, but it also hit too close to home right now given gestures around fucking everything going on with trans people. I'm planning on revisiting this one eventually, too, but at this point in time it made me too anxious to enjoy reading it.
(Previous versions of this post x x x )
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Wednesday, August 14th, 2024.
Do you live with your biological mother? I don't. She lives in her own place with a roommate. I do live with my father, though.
Have you ever tried peanut butter and bananas together? Yeah. It's one of my favorite combinations.
What kind of music do you tend to like? Classic rock, classical, grunge, metal, country… My tastes are kind of all over the place.
Do you enjoy listening to Eminem? I rarely ever listen to him, but I generally enjoy his music when I do hear it.
What color are the sheets on your bed? Gray.
Are you a member on Bzoink? I used to be. Earlier this year, I thought I might like to get back into survey-taking, so I went to check their site and… :'( I was so sad to see they'd deactivated. Bzoink has been an on/off part of my life since…idk, maybe 2006-ish. But yeah - that's why I'm taking surveys here instead of there.
Do you believe in sex before marriage? I just feel like "believe" is such a weird way to word it, like we're talking about God or aliens or something like that. But yeah, I've had sex outside of marriage.
When was the last time you went on a shopping trip with just your mom? Last summer. I guess it wasn't really a shopping trip exactly, but we did visit Barnes & Noble.
Do you agree that Wal-Mart is the best? It's where I do my grocery shopping. (shrug)
Do you know anyone who married their high school sweetheart? No.
Orange or apple juice? Orange.
Have you ever seen anyone die? Animals, but never a human being.
Is there anything really interesting in your family history? There might be. I don't know a whole lot about my family history.
What things are you interested in that you study or read about on your own? History, archaeology, anthropology, outer space, the paranormal, etc.
Would you ever creep into the subway tunnels to go exploring? No.
Would you rather be a world political leader or a rock star? I wouldn't want to be either one of those things, but out of the two, I would prefer to be a rock star.
Have you ever given someone a love letter that you wrote? Yeah.
Have you ever sent someone a surprise through the mail? Yeah.
Of all animated movies, which is the best one you’ve ever seen? Maybe Watership Down or Ghibli films.
What are the best bands or songs to listen to while driving? I usually listen to classical music while driving. It's especially nice for unwinding after a long day at the shelter.
What is the happiest way you can start your day? With a big bowl of oatmeal, coffee, and some trash YouTube.
What changes are you afraid of? I'm mostly afraid of losing my dad…or (prior to that) watching his health decline. I'm hoping that's still a long way off, though.
Have you ever wanted to be an actor/tress? Not seriously.
What is your biggest goal for this year? Get to the point where full-time volunteer work is routine and comfortable.
Where do you want to be in 5 years? Working at the animal shelter, living in my own place, basically independent.
If you were traveling to another continent would you rather fly or take a boat? Fly.
Where is the most fun place you have EVER been? I'm not sure.
If you had to choose would you live on the equator or at the North Pole? I do like the cold, but I think the literal North Pole would be too much of a good thing, lmao.
Get anything good in the mail recently? No.
If you could pick one food that you could eat all you wanted but it would have no effect on how much you weigh, what food would it be? Either potato chips or baked goods.
When you see a stranger on the street does your first reaction lean towards thinking of this person as a potential friend or as a potential threat? It depends. I guess I tend to do some sort of intuitive/subconscious assessment of the situation. Is it night or day? Where am I exactly (is it a typically safe place, etc)? Is this person behaving normally? Are they somewhere I would expect them to be under the circumstances? Do they have a weapon? Etc. I'm not likely to consider a random stranger a "potential friend," but I might see them as generally friendly, approachable, or what have you.
What do you really want to buy? A new phone. <- Same. Mine is practically a fossil at this point. It still works, but if I ever want to work at the animal shelter, I'm going to need a more up-to-date phone.
Do you know what you want to be when you grow up? Yeah.
Who was the last person you cut out of your life intentionally? I'm not sure.
Do you like watching scary movies? Yeah.
Do you know how to fish? In theory…?
Have you ever been given a rose? Yeah.
Do you eat live fish? No.
Would you get engaged right now? No.
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