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#god i cant fucking stand her
mvmnbnv · 9 days
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jinx does nothing but put her in danger all last szn, putting a gun in her face, almost killing her on the bridge, hitting her in the head after she'd already been beat down and taking her hostage, pulling thst platter joke and almost killing her gf twice which just put her through the most psychological torment, killing ekkos friends, blowing up the council...and ppl can't fathom vi having beef with her next season???
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stinkrascal · 9 months
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the person who i stopped being friends with came to my fucking house to ask me if i blocked her???? oh my fucking god lady you are 35 YEARS OLD??????
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spaciebabie · 6 months
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shoutout 2 this person in my class who i can tell wants 2 talk 2 me really bad but instead of doing that whenever she has the chance she'll talk 2 whoever else is around and ignore me entirely unless im mentioned by name
#bruh lmao#so awkward. say something you dingus lol#ik you wanna talk 2 me so bite the bullet already#gyatt#spacie spoinks#literally. she was having a conversation with my partner for the project im doing. and like#heres the thing#if im not invited into conversation i usually dont participate#im like a vampire like that#and so like. after they're done conversating she'll just kind of. stand there. this has happened twice now#like dude sdkfjshlkdfj#im not upset by this behavior i have very awful social patterns as well and have been thru this (i am autistic)#am i gonna hafta say something. lol#probably#''hey bro whats up with you. i dont mean like how are you doing. i mean like. whats wrong with you.''#cant say that its not funny when you say it irl only when the ppl you're talking with know you're not being mean 😭#also like. this person has been staring at me lol#which like. makes me flustered so whenever she's around i panic and my face fucking turns red its god awful#for awhile it made uhh. my paranoia get really bad im ngl!!#its already bad when it comes 2 being around strangers but this like made it REALLY bad for a few weeks#im more calm now tho. rational brain won over and im chillin#i gotta work up the courage 2 say something b4 the semester is over or this is gonna bother me for the rest of my life sfkjsdhflkjs#i dont wanna put her on the spot#the only time i see her is when im in class#and . doing that interaction in front of ppl. i dont wanna embarrass her ksjfskjd
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toxicfagcocaine · 18 days
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The fact Ive cried multiple times watching Drag race but not when I watched brokeback mountain is crazy to me. What the fuck happened
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pcktknife · 2 years
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thinking xinyans spikes make her look unappealing........
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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months
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#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying#shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl#in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated#bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not#her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet#so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive#personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd#compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from#happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is#like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil#not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am#barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me#and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them#but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and#thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard#to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds#nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of#brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but#that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer#defying the stats but for how much longer?#i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it#i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else#excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things#unrelated#ed mention#i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama#bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]
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faaun · 4 months
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the forest looks like heaven today i woke up feeling the heaviest weight at the top of my heart
#yesterday on the study they said they were dating two others and it was going well and i cant imagine fucking you but#you have great tits. they got upset at me not inviting them to a party. my research partner told me to write a 1000 word essay on why they#should come. they spoke about how much they wanted theiir ex and they wouldnt tell me much about who theyre dating bc#they thought i still had feelings for them which. god. theyre right but the assumption is so arrogant#the streams r rly beautiful im walking to a date and shes gorgeous and some of my friends know her but i look#exactly like ive slept on my friends floor for the past few days so . aaa anyway#god after that whole call i just felt so deflated like i felt over it but now its all . back. like seeing them being happy w smn else#inflicts active misery upon me which means ii think im becoming a worse person bc of them. i called my friend and i just . idk i walked home#i kept wanting to weep but . woah the sun is so pretty#there are petals and dandelion seeds floating in the air#med school students walking to their lectures#she does biochem btw. the person im meeting now#there are two butterflies dancing together. i cant make this shit up the past few days have looked like actual heaven#ive spent them being on survival mode and not even bc of my studies like ok focus on log functions while the person kn the screen#tells u abt how if her ex were to call shed fold immediately and the new girl is a singer and its going well and maybe ill tell you#more abt it in a few months. SO YOU KNOW IT HURTS ! SO WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME YOUD MAKE OUT W ME AT THE CLUB WHY WOULD U FALL ASLEEP NEXT TO#ME WITHOUT CLOTHES ON ! WHY WOULD YOU CARESS YOUR OWN SKIN LOOKING AT ME IN THE MIRROR !!!!#anyway im like . sane.#i just . felt like it was over#i realised i kept seeing ppl who i thought were more attractive etc etc than her bc i needed to prove to myself#that im attractive enough to be liked or that i can be liked at all and a part of me wanted to prove it to them too#its just a horrible mindset to have and yh not only do they not care but they also bring out the worst in me actively like . I DONT KNOW#BUT THEN WHO ELSE KNOWS THAT THE GOLDEN HOURS IN TEHRAN ARE PINK AND LILAC WHO GOES TO TECHNO RAVES AT THE BASE OF DAMAVAND#WHO CAN PIN YOU AGAINST A WALL LIKE THEM !!!#anyway#standing up it just feels so#exhausting#like this the most exhausted ive felt from all this ever
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olberic · 8 months
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i wanna hear your law talesofarise thoughts then
ohh this is a can of worms you’re opening rn. im so obsessed with this guy and am always thinking about how the game does him dirty so please share in this with me
(obviously spoilers ahead for tales of arise) (and a few for beyond the dawn)
(and yes im being dead serious about this)
more than anything else or any of the major criticisms you hear about tales of arise, literally my biggest problem with it is how law is treated, both by the other party members and by the writing itself.
so let’s start with why law immediately caught my attention as a character at the beginning: hes a turncoat! he’s a dahnan actively working with the renans! the story bring you straight from calaglia, where that would have been UNTHINKABLE, to show you “hey! not only do dahnans work with the renans, some of them go so far as to prioritize that work over their own family!” which is fascinating! we get thrown into a fight with law, where he clearly uses the same fighting skills as his father, he has calaglian instrumentation in his fight music, and he doesnt show any mercy. all this while knowing hes going to become a party member! because then we learn through the course of that chapter (and a little bit later in the game) that law’s working there under duress, that he watched his comrades be killed in front of him, that he was left alive if he joined with the snake eyes. and he still has nightmares about that. we learn that he DOESNT hate his father, just left on bad terms and couldnt reconcile with his father’s way of being a father. he couldnt stand how overbearing and patronizing zephyr was, and the first thing zephyr does when they reunite is do exactly that! no wonder law was frustrated at him! but then you get to see his absolute loneliness as a dahnan working for the snake eyes. he gets no sympathy from the renans who treat him as other because hes a dahnan, and active dislike from dahnans because hes working with renans. but if his other option was to be killed, then we as the audience have to ask if this was a decision that’s sympathetic. but we do get this conversation:
law: “i never did tell you how i ended ip hanging around with the snake eyes, did i?”
alphen: “not properly. all i know is you had a falling-out with your dad and ran away from home.”
law: “getting to cyslodia almost killed me. once there, though, i actually ended up joining a resistance organization, believe it or not. of course, before long someone ratted us out, and we were ambushed by the snake eyes. i’d never seen such brutality. if i hadn’t surrendered…”
alphen: “law?”
law: “i don't know why they let me live. they made me watch as they butchered my friends right in front of my eyes. i still have nightmares. i hear roars of zeugles as my friends scream, the snow stained red with blood. and all the while those bastards, laughing. i thought that with ganabelt defeated, i’d be able to put it all behind me. turns out that was a little optimistic. i was terrified they would kill me, too. so i wound up betraying the memory of my friends, and getting my old man killed in the process. i wonder if i’m any braver now. what if one day i panic again, and end up running away like always?”
alphen: “and leave us behind? you really think you’d do that?”
law: “i hope not. but who’s to say what i’m really capable of?”
[lies down]
so there’s the whole thing with law trying to free zephyr and fight back against the snake eyes. as a dahnan that’d be a death sentence even if it weren’t coming from a member of the snake eyes. and yes cyslodia’s built on betrayal, but it establishes law as somebody who betrayed his father, who betrayed his people, and who betrayed his pledged loyalty. it also establishes that when push comes to shove, he cant stand by as an observer and enforcer — hes a protector at heart. and it gets proven again and again throughout the game when hes the first one to jump into things that he isnt made to be an observer! as a person hes so fundamentally opposed to what the snake eyes do but still managed to be convinced to work with them for his own well being. we see in beyond the dawn that he experiences deep regret for what he did and for how he was directly responsible for the suffering of other dahnans he sent to the pylons. hell, even when alphen gets him come along with them, theres this little interaction:
law: its not like theres anyone waiting for me in calaglia either. …plenty of ditches along the road. maybe i’ll find one to die in.”
alphen: “how about a fresh start?”
law: “after the kinds of things ive done? i don't know where id even begin.”
so we need to keep in mind that even if he doesnt talk about it, even if he puts on a front, that he a) thinks hes irredeemable, b) feels intense guilt for what hes done, c) still has nightmares about seeing his friends be killed, and d) is living with the knowledge that if it weren’t for his actions, his father would still be alive. (and its important to note that he recognizes it’s not just his own personal loss, he’s well aware how deeply zephyr’s death affects both the party and the crimson crows.)
and here i’ve got to talk about an under appreciated law detail that i love about him so very much: law, the loudmouthed, immature-acting brawler of the party, has the capacity and skills to have been a great snake eye. look — we saw how he acted with zephyr. but in the “stowaway law” skit he says “eh, lets just say i’ve always had a knack for sneaking around since i was little” to explain how he escaped calaglia. hell, for months, as a kid in a brand new realm, he managed to join a resistance cell and avoid getting caught (for a while). when he helps zephyr escape, he uses smoke bombs. when the party is getting tailed by kisara in viscint, hes not only the only person who notices, he manages to fall back, sneak up on HER unaware, and get a blade to her throat! the woman who's supposed to be the best guardsman in the realm! in beyond the dawn, he can sense the party's being followed and calls out nazamil even when she's invisible. and when that zeugle is attacking pharia ranch, law's the first person to be able to track this invisible creature. law’s perceptive, sneaky, unafraid to dirty his hands for the sake of others, and this trait is soooo fucking underutilized in this game…
which probably brings me to why i cant stand tales of arise sometimes. for every incident of law doing this, or showing literally any emotional vulnerability, theres three incidents of the other party members (rinwell) disparaging him. and it pisses me off SO MUCH. its obvious from that first conversation when he joins the party that while he does have a lighthearted nature, hes got a ton of guilt and self-hatred and regret that take precedence, and he’ll put on a joking front to cover that up. because how can he let himself be who is he when he just got his father killed? and this slips out plenty of times in the game — tons of skits have him start to bring up how it felt to lose his father — but every goddamn time he starts to talk about himself, rinwell insults him.
im not fucking joking! ive played this game twice through. i copy down every skit and conversation that law’s involved in for the entire game. law can’t get a fucking SENTENCE out about who he is as a person without rinwell insulting him. the game tries to play this off as banter when its ALWAYS one sided. rinwell gets to have her emotional scenes with other characters without law jumping in. hell, if she starts to be serious with him, he listens! but heaven forbid he get the same respect in turn! and its not just her. shionne never hears him out (and hell, i love shionne the most, but i really dont like that part of her) and its clear she doesnt see much past his front. kisara and dohalim both see him as totally immature.
“but zad,” you say, “law IS immature.” yeah! of course he is! hes 16 and hes never been allowed to have a childhood! hes been involved with the crimson crows since the day he was born! he escapes calaglia as a kid! hes had time to join a resistance cell and end up working with the snake eyes all by the time he’s 16!!! he says it himself, traveling with the party is the first time hes been allowed to be himself. he wears silly wolf decorations because he thinks they look cool and he doesnt have anywhere else to put them. he playfights with alphen. he lets himself have fun in fights. he (unsuccessfully) flirts. he eats good food and learns to cook. hes got immature taste because hes a teenager. i know i sure was the same! he makes ill-timed jokes because he hasnt been able to be a normal part of friendly conversation before. he has a hard time reading other people because he’s only had people patronize him or suspect him until now.
but the fact is that for all his silliness and immaturity, he is more than that. hes sneaky and traumatized and guilt-ridden and has such a big heart that the first things he does when finding himself is to protect others. (hell, he even says “if im not training, its easy for me to get anxious.” ) and it frequently feel like the writers forget his backstory and motivations and treat him solely as comic relief and as a tool to develop other characters (rinwell).
the most egregious example of this is the almeidrea incident, which i can hardly watch. law’s a character who joins the party and immediately gets revenge on the guy who killed his father (which is still an awesome scene), realizes that doesnt bring him back or undo law’s complicity, then stews with that knowledge and doesnt tell anybody. i love a good revenge plot, but i can see where he comes from when he says “killing the person who wronged you doesnt undo what they did”. but what really and utterly kills me is that all of that is a throwaway line used to develop rinwell’s story. time and time again in this game law’s completely disregarded and im honestly so fucking sick of it 😭 the most we get is this line:
alphen: “law left home because of how much he hated his father. i think law spent a lot of time thinking about how they never got to make things right. and if i had to guess, killing ganabelt didn't make any of those feelings go away.”
and the handful of good scenes (law’s pep talk to alphen when shionne’s kidnapped, law’s conversation with the traitor dahnan and the informants)
so yeah. i dont have a conclusion to this. i adore that law’s a traitor and hes sneaky and hes competent and fights like his dad and wears a silly wolf decoration and lives with unimaginable guilt and has nightmares and has favourite foods and flirts badly and likes being a farmer. im just like cheering for this guy and supporting him unconditionally because the game itself sure won’t.
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caffeinatedopossum · 1 year
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I can't relapse, I gotta eat well so I can get stronger and help my girlfriend carry in the groceries
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toytulini · 7 months
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i know doctor who has never been Perfect, and i love capaldi, i love twelve, but christ alive its a hard watch sometimes
#toy txt post#they just made him so egregiously and blatantly RACIST? like to the point where im like was this like? an on purpose characterization#choice that i just strongly disagree with? or like? is it a consequence of the writers trying to be less racist by including more#characters of color but failing by not checking their own implicit biases so now not only is the doctor racist but like. egregiously so bc#theres so many more opportunities for him to be racist? like just#and if youre sitting here like hes not!!! how dare you: pay attention to the difference in how he treats characters of color vs white chars#he hates soldiers. okay fine thats been fairly consistent. okay but 12 RLY hates them. he hates them so much he cant stand Claras bf Danny#who should be the doctors like ideal soldier bc he was a soldier who didnt want to be anymore and just wants to chill and do good in the#world and for ppl to be safe so hes just a nice math teacher and the doctor calls him stupid and treats him as if hes fucking rambo? but#the doctor is largely fine with: kate lethbridge stewart? hes fine with ogood who may not be a soldier in her own right but shes actively#participating in UNIT as a scientist in a way thats way more ~soldiery~ than anything Danny is doing? and like they clearly wanted that to#be a point of tension to point out the doctors hypocrisy of how the doctor is like a high ranking officer/general whatever#and like thats fine and fair to point out but it just sucks that they do all that and dont seem ti realize how fuckijg racist they wrote#him? he was fucking besties with winston goddamn churchill but he refuses whatshername. journey blue? as a companion bc#shes a soldier. well bro you could make her not a soldier by removing her from the fucking battlefield maybe instead of getting morally#outraged about it? not to mention noticing how when he goes from '900 yrs of space and time and ive never met anyone who wasnt important'#wandering around being fine with UNIT apparently declaring him dictator of earth in emergencies (HELLO?) but dont worry he'll let us know#he disapproves by picking some random UNIT guy to be a really condescending asshole to. pay no attention to the fact that this UNIT#guy happens to be another character of color. ~the 12th doctor is too faceblind you cant call him racist~ well for a guy who cant tell#humans apart from sontarans his accidentaly racism beam is off the charts. its crazy. god#god i wish he'd gotten written better than this#when they do write him good they write him good. but godddddddd its so#doctor who
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amatistafey · 4 days
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i love my bb girl because she truly is that meme of being a total tiny cinnamon roll that can kill u
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bitegore · 8 months
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god i really forgot that every business management professor specifically is the most unpleasant human being alive for no good reason. i have two business classes with like econ and accounting professors respectively and those look fine and then oh my god if i have to go back to this class with this professor i think i might actually kill myself
#red rambles#she's not. *mean*. she is. um. fucking. i think condescendiing is the word#she made us do a kahoot in class on questions we didn't know explicitly because she knew we didn't know them. i hate kahoots#she went through the syllabus like we were children which. fine whatever every professor does that it's why i hate the first class#but she also kept going off topic to give us life advice. never give me life advice ill fucking kill you#im really not sure what else was my fucking problem but i genuinely felt like i was being psychologically tortured#also i have done one of the several assignments for the class already and they're babyshit but its going to be one of my most#busywork heavy classes and she wants us doing discussion questions every fucking week#and i have to download yet another fucking app for her class#and i need it for my degree plan but oh my GOD. i need to get the fuck out of it#im gonna try and find a different session of the class taught by a different professor and switch in#do you know how much i have to hate a class if im willing to eat two entire finished homework assignments to get out of it#eta. i take it with this professor or i take it with a different professor i know and already know i cant stand#who is also going to work us like dogs unlike this prof who is going to apparently treat us like we are 14 years old#i guess its not college if i'm not being forced to experience psychological torment for an hour and a half every couple days lol#ill just have to like eat something before that class and do my best to fortify myself before i go in and turn evil
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mxbitters · 16 days
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i hope the people that respond to my nervousness saying “don’t be nervous” know that a certain ronald radke said that to me like seven years ago and good lord if there is one way to instantly rip a 14 year old out of their falling in reverse phase it would be that anyway if you tell me to just not be nervous you are i automatically associate you with that silly, silly man so perhaps do not
#i say. admittedly Nervous#(seriously though)#(god FORBID i wanted to ask their drummer who promptly left the band about his hair dye preferences)#i had a pressing PRESSING question for ryan but okay thank you ronnie#it is very cool to put your hand on peoples shoulders and like. pull them. that#that is definitely how you make anxious teenagers not be nervous thank you#that was truly the maybe month or so before my egg cracked lmao i was having a rough one already#and then standing for like 3 hours in the boston cold freezing my limbs off#because my best friend at the time had vip tickets to her favorite band and was so excited and invited me#guh i met. a lot of bands that since got a LOT coming out about them#I enjoyed dangerkids but 1) they were not a meet and greet thing they were opening#and 2) even then idk idk their singer produced that fir album so idk idk idk#anyway yes mister radke this shoulder will forever have the lingering feeling of Your Stupid Fucking Hand Grabbing It Very Very Cool#but sure sure be vewy upset about trans people and anyone who says your music is bad#(you make so many songs about how you dont care)#(and the other songs you make are the embodiment of very real abuse tactics)#(you cant be twying to be bettew if you are genuinely not trying)#(you know its bad when even the right wing grifters wont let you be part of their club)#(even blair white is probably holding you at a very far arms length)#(try that. arms length. do not grab kids shoulders thank you)
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ella-ashmore · 23 days
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i wonder how you get a license to kill
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bokuwadekinaiko · 1 month
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cw post / tags. sorry
i don't even know if i have the words
to express this
she's gone
and its all my fault
#~ . 🥀#half my brain wants to scream to cry to do something#the other half wants to lie here forever and wait til i go numb#im in such a state of shock rn i .m gonna throw up#for context#2 hours ago as of writing this i received news that a loved one committed suicide#i was one of the only people that knew she was severely depressed / suicidal i shouldve seen the signs#i shouldve helped her more or called her or told someone#i was a coward. i couldn't.#and because i willingly did nothing to stop someone from dying#i am compliant. therefore . its my fault shes dead#.#this isnt some story where you can rewrite the ending#this is real life#and now i watched someone i love die and will have to live with the guilt of knowing i couldve done something but chose not to#the worst type of person.#i didnt deserve to be friends with someone like her.#no one did. she was smart and witty and oh so stubborn (affectionate)#we both loved the same bands. i don't know if i can ever listen to those bands the same way again#god i cant think#im actually gonna throw up#this is the 2nd time in my life something like this has happened. 3rd if you count all COD not just suicide#knowing something is wrong with a loved one but being too much of a wuss to tell anyone or help them or do anything useful#god im fucking worthless#my friends and family will vent to me and share their problems with me and ill say i care and tell myself i care#but givenmy behavior i don't think i can ever say i can#idoly standing by while people i love suffer#fuckin pathetic#this was a deliberate choice i made. this is all my fault#this is all my fault
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opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months
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#its so weird. i feel like march 5th went on for more than a day somehow. i guess that's just bc we were awake for just abt all of it#my dad wanted to start doing things immediately so he was calling and scheduling all day. we went to the funeral home we went to the store#and it was weird bc as we were moving around it was like wow we r a 4 person family now. this is it. and theres so much to do after a person#dies. or at least there is when they were loved so much and jesus christ my mom was one of the best ppl a LOT of ppl knew. she did so much#for so so many ppl. and with her childhood she had every reason to b a fuck up but no she was kind and selfless and amazing. her mother is#trying to bask in the attention of her death when its like: truely go fuck urself. her being such a good person has nothing to do with u. u#treated her appallingly. fuck off. and fucking everyone knows it. god. she is a product of her grandparents kindness. and it sounds like her#dad was amazing like her. but he tragically died in a car wreck when she was 3. she was in the car. no one in my mums family believes in a#god now. too many bad things happened to the shining gems in a collection of wild alcoholics. but its not all bad. my family's staying close#my dad is taking it hard bc this means hes alone now and my mum took care of so many things bc she was so smart and he feels so dumb. he#feels he didnt deserve her. hes working on giving more hugs now. and hes using us to anxiously talk things out the way he did with mom#which is good. i cant imagine if this happened when we werent 3 adults and he was windowed with 3 kids to raise himself. and its funny. were#saying things we never would have told her. we looked thru pictures of her and she was so so beautiful. a total smoke show. my parents were#a cute couple who produced cute kids. and my mom had trouble communicating and being affectionate tho we knew she loved us there was#distance. theres a pic of my dad pulling her close and shes being tippef towarf her while standing away and thats indicitive of their#relationship. they were 2 partners who lived together independently and that worked but its sad bc my mum couldnt b vulnerable in her#expression. ppl r being so kind tho. ill be in ohio now for like 2.5 more weeks as the funeral stuff shakes out. we have to have 2 bc she#grew up away from her and so many ppl loved her in both locations. she was a popular lady. its so weird to b here on pause. but i feel clear#in my head. i think this will change a lot of my outlook on life. its nice to focus on the person she was and not the horrible 12hrs where i#saw her half dead. i cant imagine how awful it was for my sisters and dad to see her downslide into death. she didnt expect this to b The#Fever that killed her but it did and now she'll never finish a million things. and the house is full of pill bottles and all her junk and#unopened amazon packages and a truck with the fuel left on empty. bc she was an absent minded goofball. ay. well miss her so much#unrelated
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