#god i burst out laughing 🤣

[waterkangaroo]

Matt and Jeff's friendship is truly something to behold 😂

[wh0reforcoriolanussnow]

On Set Shenanigans || Tom Blyth x actress!reader

GIFS by me :) cred if use!!

Summary: just a bunch of random scenarios on set I thought of while I was in the shower lmao 🤣

Warnings: noneee

Wc: 1,553

A/n: sorta all over the place sorry lmao

Divider by @pommecita

“If you could describe Y/n and Tom in one word, what would you say?” Rachel purses her lips, side eyeing the two of you who were watching her with silly grins. “Y/n and Tom are,” Rachel hums, tapping her chin as she breaks out into a chuckle.

“Goofy.” You and Tom turn to each other and just break into laughter. “They are seriously the most goofiest people I have met in my entire life! There is never a dull moment on set when these two around,” Rachel shakes her head as she smiles at the two of you who blow kisses her way.

“Tom and Y/n, there’s a behind the scenes video circulating around of the two of you in costume, dancing to Low by Flo Rida,” “Oh my god,” You drop your head on Tom’s shoulder as the two of you couldn’t help wipe the grin off your faces.

“Yes, there is,” Tom laughs as they put up said video. “If you guys haven’t see it, here it is,” Dressed in his peacekeeper outfit, white singlet with his dog tag out, and you in your outfit, you and Tom were dancing along to your favourite song to dance to, Low by Flo Rida.

Rachel was recording the video during your break and was dying of laughter. The camera was shaking the entire time because of it. You and Tom loved goofing around and dancing.

You could say it was your love language. You grab Tom’s peacekeeper hat and plop out on your head slightly wonky as you move along to the song, acting as if you were at a club in Berlin and not on set. The way you and Tom danced and moved to the music just made so much sense.

“She turned around and gave that big booty a smack,” Tom spun around as you slap his ass causing an eruption of laughter from everyone who was watching.

You and Tom were trying to hold your composure but that failed miserably as you grab Tom’s arms to stabilise yourself but turned out he had no sense of stability at that moment as the two of you fall to the ground. A light scream leaving your lips as you fall on top of Tom.

And then the camera focused on the ground as Rachel had leaned over, hands on thighs as she laughed out loud. If anyone didn’t know the context of that clip, they probably would have thought that you two were drunk but truth was you were quite sober.

The crowd on set burst out into laughter as you cover your face in slight embarrassment, Tom laughing along with the host as he pats your head.

~

“What do you usually do when you’re not filming on set?” Tom gives you a look as you bite back a laugh. “I think everyone knows this but, film tiktoks” The crowd breaks into laughter as they knew what you were talking about.

“Yeah Y/n is always filming tiktok and forcing me to do them with her,” Tom grips your thigh, shaking it lightly as you roll your eyes. “No I do not, you always want to be in them!” You argue with him. “Why don’t we watch a few of them here?” Kelly Clarkson recommended as you squeeze Tom’s arm with a smile.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CQrdGn8AYiD/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== The first tiktok was of you, Tom, Rachel, and Josh in your trailer. You had the idea in your head for a while now and showed them all. “Please don’t drop me babe,” You say to Tom as you set up the camera, “I would never,” You hear him say followed by giggle.

You expected to land in Tom’s arms. Not the floor. You let out a yelp as Tom slaps his hand over his mouth. The three of them laughing their asses off while you landed on yours with a loud thud. “It’s not funny you idiot,” You slap his arm as he picks you up, apologising to you by peppering your face with kisses.

You had to admit it was pretty funny rewatching the tiktok. “You weren’t supposed to catch my feet!” You say in between laughs as you post the tiktok.

~

“This one, captioned name a better duo, I’ll wait has gone quite viral with over 10 million views,” Kelly exclaims as you cross your legs at your knees nodding your head as the video plays on the screen. https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSNVsM6kw/

“Tom,” You tap your boyfriend’s shoulder as he hums. You had just finished filming a scene together and had abit of time before you were up again. You were both in your mentor outfits, Tom having his blonde locks today.

“I wanna film this tiktok, come be in it?” You urge him as he looks up from his phone seeing a glint of playfulness in your eyes as he lets out a sigh.

Tom secretly loved making tiktoks with you, especially since he wasn’t on it and found the stuff you make him do were interesting and funny. You had hundreds of random tiktoks that you filmed on set saved into your drafts, half of them were of you and Tom.

Your hair stylist helped film the tiktok as the two of you did it out in the open, a bunch of the filming team watching with curiosity and laughing as they walk by. Other cast members such as Josh, Hunter and a bunch of the mentor actors walked by ended up being in the background of it.

You and Tom moved along to the beat, literally just vibing to the music. You wrote on the tiktok “the funniest duo on set>>>” and you weren’t lying.

~

“We are here with the cast of the Hunger Games Prequel, the ballad of songbirds and snakes!” The crowd cheered as you, Tom, Josh, and Rachel smiles. “From what I’ve seen, you guys are actually TikTok sensations!” An eruption of laughter followed.

“This TikTok here specifically,” https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSNqguTEY/ you all turn your head to watch the TikTok play on screen as you all start to laugh. “Tom, where were you while this was happening,” The host looks at Tom whose eyes were trained on the ground, a grin forming on his lips.

“I’m actually there in the tiktok, on the bed. Trying to sleep.” He deadpans as you giggle, leaning your head on his shoulder as you grip his arm. “Yeah this was after we came back from partying in Berlin, obviously for some of us, our night didn’t end yet,” Tom chuckles as everyone bursts out in laughter.

“Let’s do that tiktok!” You squeal the second you enter the room. Opening up tiktok, you find the video and show Josh, Hunter, Rachel, and Tom it. Tom’s arms were thrown around your shoulders, his head resting on your head due to the height difference.

“I think I’m going to go to bed,” He yawns, kissing your cheek before you all bid him goodnight. Tom couldn’t even get 5 minutes of peacefulness as the four of you spill into the bedroom and set up your phone. He lets out a quiet groan at the noise and flashing of lights as he digs his head deep into his pillow.

~

“Babeee,” You call out as you step into the hair and makeup trailer. He was sitting on a chair, fully dressed in his peacekeeper outfit, hair free from his wig.

He looked more presentable compared to you and Rachel who still had hair rollers on and were still in your robes. You had seen a new trend going around tiktok where you would stare at a guy with Justin Timberlake’s mirrors playing in the background, and you wanted to do it with Tom https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSNqnRSNJ/

One side of his lips turns up as he looks up at you, “I’m filming a tiktok and I want you to be in it,” You say with puppy eyes although you know he wouldn’t refuse. You even got his hair and makeup artists, Stacey and Jade to be in on it too.

You pull up a chair beside Tom as you set up the camera. “Wait what am I supposed to do?” He asks, “Nothing, just sit there,” You innocently smile at him as he gives you a suspicious look but nods nonetheless, complying with whatever you were up to.

He honestly just expected to be on camera while you were doing something, but he did not expect to be stared down at by his girlfriend and hair and makeup artists. You stare intensely at Tom, trying your hardest to not laugh or look away.

Staring at your boyfriend has always not been an easy task, especially since he holds such intense eye contact. And his pretty blue eyes did not help at all. Tom tries not to laugh either as he gazes at you before his eyes flicker towards Stacey and Jade then back to you. “What’s going on,” He finally says as his body shakes from laughing.

The TikTok ends and you let out a small laugh, looking over the TikTok. You throw your head back in laughter at Tom’s face when you all look back to stare at him, honestly was priceless.

[gigabyte-flare]

Denim

[A Gigabyte Flare One Shot]

Summary: Your boyfriend comes home from an assignment still wearing his gear coupled with a pair of jeans you had gotten him, the sight of him driving you wild.

Word Count: 1.2k

Pairing: RE4R!Leon Kennedy x fem!reader (afab)

Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. You are responsible for your own content consumption. If any of the following warnings trigger you, please read at your own risk. Minors do not interact, this story is 18+ only.

Warnings: Kissing, unprotected p in v, creampie, mention of firearms

A/N: This is 5000% self indulgent. I've been playing through Resident Evil 4 Remake yet again with this Special Rescue Agent mod and oh my god those jeans are so fucking sexy on him. I needed to write this to get it out of my system. You're welcome 🤣

A quick reminder that I no longer do tag lists

The door to your apartment bursts open, your boyfriend walking through briskly before closing the door behind him. You could tell from the corner of your eye he was still wearing his tactical gear and gun holster around his waist, having just come back from another grueling mission for the U.S. government to god knows where. A hint of blue draws your attention even further, your eyes now locked on the denim that perfectly accentuates his waist and backside.

“Hey, sorry I’m late babe. I had to fill out paperwork before they could let me come home. They didn’t even give me a chance to change my gear--”

Standing over the kitchen sink, you’re not even listening to your boyfriend at this point because you are way too focused on how absolutely fine he looks in the jeans you had bought him some time ago. Your mouth is hanging open and you drop the sponge you were holding into the dish water, making a subtle splash sound as your heart starts pounding in your chest. You didn’t think he even liked the jeans you got him because he had never worn them.

Until now, that is.

“Babe? Are you alright?” Leon asks, tilting his head at you and raising an eyebrow as he turns to face you.

You blink a few times, shaking your head to snap you out of your lust filled daze, returning your focus back to the dirty dishes as you fish through the water to grab the sponge, “yeah sorry! Long day…” you haphazardly reply.

“Right…” Leon says, nodding slightly before clearing his throat to continue, “let me get this gear off and I’ll come help you.”

Leon turns to walk into the bedroom, his heavy boots echoing through the apartment. You allow yourself another look as he walks off, your breath catching in your throat. It’s not just the jeans that made him look so… attractive. It’s the way the straps of his gun holster and various pouches attached to his belt hugged his thighs and how they perfectly shaped Leon’s toned backside. You unknowingly have a death grip on the sponge as hordes of less than appropriate thoughts fill your mind, causing you to bite your bottom lip.

“Stop…” you say softly; not even realizing you had said it out loud until Leon stops in his tracks and turns around to face you again.

“Hm? What’s up?” he asks before a knowing smirk begins to cross his lips as he puts his hands on his hips.

“I’m sorry, I…” you stammer before dropping the sponge back into the sink, “you just look really fucking hot in those jeans, Leon.”

He lets out a playful laugh before approaching you; you swear he’s swaying his hips as he walks on purpose just to rile you up, and it works. Now standing in front of you, his gloved fingers tracing along your jawline before cupping the back of your head, his fingers carding through your hair. His blue eyes boring into yours, piercing directly into your very soul. 

“Like what you see?” he asks, his voice low and sultry before he leans in, burying his face into the crook of your neck, feeling his lips and tongue upon your skin.

Immediately, your knees are weak and the only sound you manage to get out is a strained whimper as he pushes his body into yours. Your hands, having a mind of their own, reach down around his waist, slipping inside the back pockets of his jeans before gripping his toned ass. Leon lets out a low chuckle against your neck, feeling it reverberate through your body. 

Leon’s hands run down the sides of your body before settling on your waist. He shifts both of you away from the sink before lifting you up by your waist, setting you onto the countertop. He then lifts your sundress up over your knees, gathering it onto your plush thighs before his fingers hook around the hem of your panties, slowly pulling them off and tossing them aside.

Knowing what’s to come, you shift yourself so that you’re balancing on the edge of the counter on your backside, using your hands to brace yourself against the counter. You watch Leon start to remove his belt and holster, but you reach out, grabbing his wrist to stop him.

“Keep it on. It’s really sexy,” you say, smiling at him.

He lets out another chuckle before kissing you deeply on the lips, “whatever you want, babe. Let me just make sure the pistol’s safety is on.” 

Leon takes a step back briefly, pulling his Sentinel Nine out of its holster, hearing the click of him engaging the safety before returning it to its holster. He steps towards you again and you watch in anticipation as his fingers undo his jeans, pushing them and his boxers just enough so that his hardening length springs free. You watch his gloved hand wrap around his length, giving it a few strokes before he lines himself up with your soaked entrance.

As he slowly sheathes himself inside you, your legs wrap themselves around his waist and your hands work on removing the straps and buckles keeping his tactical vest in place. Once unbuckled, he shrugs it off himself and it lands on the kitchen floor with a loud thud, leaving him in just his tight, black athletic t-shirt. Now that he doesn’t have the bulky vest on, he wastes no time pressing himself against your body, his hips pistoning into your welcoming heat.

You drape your arms over his shoulders, soft moans escaping you before you lock your lips with his. Your pussy walls clench around his cock, sending shockwaves of pleasure throughout your body, giving you goosebumps on your arms.

“Oh fuck! Feels so good, Leon…” you breathe out as Leon drives you towards the edge, feeling your orgasm coil in your belly, ready to snap at any moment. 

“Yeah? I’m the only one who’s made you feel this good, aren’t I?” Leon asks, his tone husky and full of playful arrogance.

“Yes!” you cry out, the coil finally snapping, your release completely soaking him, leaving the telltale white ring around the base of his cock.

“Son of a bitch…!” Leon growls, increasing the pace of his thrusts inside you as he chases his own release. He leans in close, his breath tickling your ear before he whispers, “where do you want my cum, sweetheart?”

“Inside!” you whimper, your legs trembling from your earlier orgasm as your arms cling to his back, “please…!”

“You got it babe,” he replies, his hips practically hammering into your body before pressing himself as hard and deep inside you as he can possibly go, painting your walls white with his love. 

The warmth of his cum filling you pulls a long and loud moan out of you, your eyes practically rolling into the back of your head and you melt in his embrace. Leon lets out another low chuckle as he wraps his arms around you, rubbing your back with both of his hands as he gives you soft kisses on your cheek.

“Remind me to wear these jeans more often.”

[larluce]

Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU

Tagging @aceauthorcatqueen , @fallenxjas , @smileytrinity ,@lucifertookmyshoe , @an-entity-i-think , @thecornerofbelu , @griffonskies , @odinjm , @cinnabon-sweetroll-tiramisu , @thelady-mary , @bennedict , @nightninjaboy , @st8-of-grace , @star-rie , @error-username-not-available , @dogberryrowan , @jamieweasley13 , @tansyuduri , @tercais , @robynnemrys , @evadne01 , @serasvictoria02 , @hairdryerducks , @hopeaha , @curiously-lazy , @ harriettesthings

LINKS TO THE OTHER PARTS OF THIS AU HERE: PART 1 , PART 2 , PART 3 , PART 4 , PART 5 , PART 6 , PART 7 , PART 8 , PART 9 , PART 10 , PART 11 , PART 12 , PART 13 , PART 14 , PART 15 , PART 16 , PART 17 (You’re here), PART 18

In Gaius Tower.

Merlin: (enters)

Gaius: Oh, Merlin, glad you're here.

Merlin: Sorry I was moving all my things to my new chambers. Do you need me to help you with something?

Gaius: (sighs, turning very serious) Merlin, my boy, we must talk.

Merlin: But I didn't do anything this time 🥺.

Gaius: No, it's not about you. Well, yes. But it's not because of something you've done... I think.

Merlin: (very confused) I don't think I follow...

Gaius: You are aware that the prince is... very fond of you, right?

Merlin: Oh yeah, sure.

Gaius: I mean he likes you, Merlin.

Merlin: I know, I like him too.

Gaius: (surprised) Really?! 😲

Merlin: Of course, we are friends. How can we not like each other?

Gaius: No, I don't mean in that way, Merlin.

Merlin: Well, I guess he likes me as his servant too.

Gaius: (explodes) Oh, for Gods' sake! I'm talking about romantic love! Of sexual attraction! That's what I'm talking about!

Merlin: …

Merlin: (burst out laughing) Ha! 🤣 Good one, Gaius.

Gaius: I'm not joking.

Merlin: (sarcastic) Yeah, sure.

Gaius: Merlin, Arthur has been obsessed with you ever since you got here.

Merlin: What on earth gave you that idea?

Gaius: He almost lost his mind when you were stabbed!

Merlin: So? He cares about his subjects. That's not strange.

Gaius: He had a man imprisoned for you.

Merlin: Lancelot, yes, and only because he wanted to teach me a lesson for risking my life 'unnecessarily' again. Very childish of him if you ask me.

Gaius: And when you invited a man to sleep in your room-

Merlin: Why does everyone say that like it's a bad thing?

Gaius: -He had you immediately move into the chambers next to his.

Merlin: He still doesn't trust Lancelot and he wanted me to be more comfortable, that's all.

Gaius: He gave you a flower! Tell me, how can that NOT be romantic?

Merlin: Oh, I suppose that could be misinterpreted. Even Lancelot interpreted it that way.

Gaius: Because it can only be interpreted one way!

Merlin: But I swear it has an explanation.

Gaius: I'm dying to hear it.

Merlin: You see, do you remember when Arthur came here to leave me a message for you when the plague happened?

Gaius: The message he never left you in the end because you were too busy talking about your favorite flower? Yes, I remember.

Merlin: I told him that my favorite flowers were forget-me-nots because it's not easy to find purple flowers and purple is my favorite color.

Gaius: A color that curiously only royalty can afford because it's very expensive to make, yes.

Merlin: Exactly! That's why I like forget-me-nots. They are easy to find in nature and they are free. And I told Arthur that: "There aren't many flowers that are purple."

Gaius: And in response he got you a purple lily.

Merlin: Yeah, you see?

Gaius: ...

Gaius: Are you supposed to be refuting me? Because it seems like you're agreeing with me.

Merlin: Gaius, don't you see? The idiot gave me the purple lily just to prove a point.

Gaius: Which is...?

Merlin: That there are other purple flowers besides forget-me-nots. He even wrote me a note telling me just that. That I simply didn't know how to search well.

Gaius: Merlin, do you know what the purple lily means in the language of flowers?

Merlin: "Passionate love." Why?

Gaius: 😒

Merlin: It's a coincidence, nothing more.

Gaius: Okay, let's talk about facts instead. Naturally purple lilies are very rare and difficult to find, to the point that even if someone from royalty wants some, it is more cost-effective for them to paint the lilies purple and, as you well know, purple dye is very expensive.

Merlin: (surprised) Really? I didn't know you could paint flowers. So my lily is painted?

Gaius: No, that's the thing. The prince, who we know has no shortage of money, despite being easily able to have a lily painted purple, decided to find you a naturally purple one and give it to you as a gift.

Merlin: (very impressed) Wow…

Gaius: Do you see it now?

Merlin: Yes… It's incredible that he would go so far just to prove a point.

Gaius: (drops his things) I give up. (leaves)

Time skip. In Arthur's chambers.

Arthur: (In his desk, writing in a parchment sheet, thinking) If Lancelot is here, the griffin will attack soon. (writes that down) What's next? The sidhes, I think. Then the black knight and the questing beast-No, the unicorn was before the questing beast. (Adds note next to 'Unicorn') Important: Don't kill the unicorn.... When was the battle of Ealdor? Was it before or after the unicorn? (thinks hard but can't remember) Well it happened around then. Hmmm... (adds note next to 'Black knight') Don't drink Gaius' drug.

Gaius: (knocks the door from outside)

Arthur: (hides the parchment) Come in.

Gaius: (enters and bows) Your highness.

Arthur: Oh, Gaius. What brings you here?

Gaius: I would like to talk to you... about Merlin.

Arthur: (stands up abruptly, worried) What happened? Is he hurt?

Gaius: No! It's nothing like that, sire.

Arthur: (sighs relieved) So? What is it?

Gaius: First, I want your highness to know that I really appreciate that you care for my ward so dearly. You didn't only give him the position of your personal manservant, you protected him and offer him your friendship even when there was no need and I will always be grateful for that.

Arthur: You don't have to thank me for that, Gaius. As you said, Merlin is very dear to me. I won't let anything happen to him. (thinking) What did that dollophead do this time?

Gaius: (uncomfortable) Right... however, despite my eternal gratitude, I must ask you... more discretion from your part, sire.

Arthur: (surprised and confused) Me?

Gaius: Some actions you have made regarding Merlin have caused... some worrying rumors to be made, sire.

Arthur: Like what?

Gaius: There are a lot, sire. But the most common one, I think, is that you took Merlin as your lover because Merlin is , pardon my words, a seductive greedy whore, sire.

Arthur: (scandalised, shouts) WHAT?!

Gaius: I know, very bold of them to accuse the prince of Camelot of sleeping with-

Arthur: They are calling Merlin a whore?!😡

Gaius: Uhm, yes, a greedy whore, but what I'm trying to get at is-

Arthur: This can't be. I'm going to fix it. Thank you, Gaius. (leaves)

Gaius: Wait! What are you going to do? 😨(goes after him, frantic) Sire? Sire!

Time skip. Arthur reunited with all the servants at his service (which means some servants like Gwen are not there) in the hallway.

Arthur: (with a branding iron in hand, threatening) This is used to mark the cattle but also to mark the gossipers. I do not tolerate gossipers, especially the slandares.

Servants: (scared as fuck, trembling in place)😨😱

Arthur: Rumors are forbidden in this castle. Even more if they involve royalty and those closest to them. I won't ask who did it. I don't care. I'm just warning you that if I hear anything remotely similar again (points the branding iron to them) all of you will pay the consequences. So if you don't want to be marked as cattle (walks and points the servants one by one) you better start controlling yours and everyone's tongues. Do I make myself clear?

Servant 1: (pales when he's pointed at and faints)

Arthur: (looks down as he falls, expressionless) You are fired. Let him know that when he wakes.

Other servants: (terrafied, with a high pitched voice) Yes, sire!🥺

Arthur: (leaves)

Gaius: (in a corner, just as terrafied) What the fu-😨

Time skip. Arthur and Merlin in Arthur's chambers.

Merlin: (putting Arthur his shirt on) Arthur, is there an important event today? Is someone important coming?

Arthur: No, why?

Merlin: Well, everyone seems in such a hurry lately. Every time I run into another servant they run away.

Arthur: Really?

Merlin: (nods, putting Arthur his jacket on) They always apologise though, before leaving. (thoughtful) It's weird. Maybe I did something to upset them?

Arthur: (dismissively) Sometimes there's just too much work in the castle. Don't overthink it.

Gaius: (enters suddenly, almost a wild expression in his face)

Merlin: (surprised) Gaius!

Arthur: (concerned) Gaius, is something wrong? You never enter without knocking.

Gaius: (turns to Merlin, very serious) Merlin, I need some errands urgently. (extends his hand with a peace of paper)

Merlin: Oh, in a minute. I need to-

Gaius: Now, Merlin. People's lifes are depending on it.

Arthur: Go, Merlin. I can handle the rest.

Merlin: (nods and takes the paper, very worried at the sudden emergency) I'll be back as soon as I can. (leaves quickly)

Gaius: (closes the door and turns to Arthur, sternly) This has to stop.

Arthur: (confused) What exactly?

Gaius: Your feelings for Merlin!

Arthur: Oh, that.

Gaius: Yes! I know you fancy him. Don't you dare deny it! 😡

Arthur: I'm not denying it.

Gaius: Please, Arthur! Everyone who has eyes can see-Wait you are not denying it? 😲

Arthur: I'm not.

Gaius: Oh... Okay

Arthur: And I don't just fancy him, I'm in love with him.

Gaius: (taken aback) I... didn't expect this much honesty... give me a minute.

Arthur: (nods in understanding and points to a chair) Do you want to take a seat?

Gaius: Yes, thank you. (takes a seat)

Arthur: I can bring you water if you like.

Gaius: No, it's fine. (sighs and looks at Arthur) How?

Arthur: (shrugs) How does everyone fall in love? It just happens.

Gaius: You've just known each other for less than a month.

Arthur: It's true, but I feel like I've known him for a lifetime. (thinking) 10 years to be exact. (says) I can assure you, Gaius, my intentions are nothing but honorable.

Gaius: I know you wouldn't force Merlin into anything he doesn't want to. That's not the problem.

Arthur: Then What is it?

Gaius: Sire-

Arthur: Arthur. Call me Arthur.

Gaius: The problem, Arthur, is that you are being too intense with your love. You even threatened those poor servants!

Arthur: They were insulting Merlin! 😠

Gaius: That's what I'm talking about! If you are not doing extensive searches just to bring him a flower, you are challenging anyone who has done the slightest offense to him. You were always very correct and careful with your image. Why can't you keep up appearances when it comes to Merlin too?

Arthur: Because I don't want to hide and repress what I feel! (thinks) Not anymore. (Says) And I'm not going to let anyone hurt him. (Thinks) Not again. I won't leave him alone again. I won't fail him again.

Gaius: I know you have the best intentions, but whether you like it or not, you are also harming Merlin with your actions. Your father doesn't have the best image of him at the moment.

Arthur: (worried) And Merlin? Does it bother him that-

Gaius: No, surprisingly, he isn't aware of your feelings yet. I even tried to tell him and he just thought I was joking. I don't know if he's very innocent or just too dense.

Arthur: (laughs, but then blushes a little and asks with a shy smile) But did he like the flower?

Gaius: Oh, for Gods' sake! Yes, he loved that flower and he loves everything you do for him. He may not be aware of your affections, but he's not exactly rejecting them. (Sighs) And that's what worries me the most.

Arthur: What?

Gaius: You are the prince and he is a servant and also a man.

Arthur: I don't care about that.

Gaius: But your father does and the entire court too. At some point you are going to have to marry a noble woman who can give you heirs. No matter how sincere your love for Merlin is, that is something you will not be able to change. You're going to break his heart even if you don't want to.

Arthur: I won't-

Gaius: Don't make me promises. You don't need my approval and whether I agree with this or not doesn't really matter. I'm only going to ask you two things. One, modesty. I think you can manage to woo and protect Merlin without being so brazen.

Arthur: Alright.

Gaius: Two, make things clear to Merlin before you start anything, because he won't believe you're in love with him until he hears it from your own mouth.

Arthur: I do plan to tell him when the time is right, Gaius. Don't worry.

Gaius: And Arthur... (stands up, suddenly threatening) Merlin is not just my ward, he's my boy. You may be The prince, but if you dare to hurt him-

Arthur: (firmly) I won't. I rather die before harming him in any way.

Gaius: (thinking) Yes, you say that now, but just because you don't know. (Sighs and says) Good. Now, if you excuse me, I must wait for Merlin in my chambers to prepare medicine for the imaginary patients I invented. (bows) Your Highness (leaves)

...

Scene where arthur is listing the 'events that are about to unfold' on a piece a patchment ☑︎

Credits to my best friend Rosangela, who helped me with some dialogues and situations, no only in this part, but several ones. Love you so much! ❤️

[johnwickb1tsch]

Yandere Tex Johnson x Witness!Reader x John Wick Imagine WIP Part 8

After 450 comments on the last section 🤣 its time for a new one. U guyz are gremlins!😆👏👏 @treedaddymcpuffpuff @tammykelly @sweetwolfcupcake @lilspookymeh

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"Come on, we've got to get you somewhere safe," says John Wick, trying to hustle you down the street.

"No," you protest, resisting. "We have to find John and Tex. They might need us."

You were skeptical about demons and the occult, God and the Devil and everything in between, at first. But after hanging out with Constantine, you'd seen a few things. Just enough that you had sense enough to be scared. You clutch the protection amulet around your neck that John had given you. You'd laughed at him at the time, but now you were glad to have it.

"They're both grown men, honey. I told Tex to leave you alone. This is what he gets."

Suddenly you're angry all over again. "Oh, you told him, huh?" You push John's chest--its like having a disagreement with a brick wall. "Do you have any fucking idea how much I've missed you? How it destroyed me to be thrown away like an old shirt you had no more use for?"

He is still as a mountain as he holds your wrists, preventing you from striking him, but not hurting you. Those dark eyes bore into you, through you. How does he not see you? "Y/n...I did what I thought was best for you."

"But you didn't fucking ask me! Or at least, you didn't listen! But you know what, it doesn't matter right now. John had to put some kind of a curse on Tex in self defense, because Tex is such an asshole, and now they're both in danger!"

"A what?"

You pause to think, and you're pretty sure you know where Constantine would go. There's an old church a few blocks over. Consecrated ground. It's where he's always told you to go if something came after you. It would be a good place to regroup.

"Come on," you say, pulling John in the opposite direction down the street.

For once, he actually listens, a shadow at your back ready to protect you, but he lets you lead the way.

--------------

The old building looks like it should probably be condemned. It's definitely seen better days, and hasn't seen a congregation in at least a decade. However, the ground is still holy, untouchable for the Unclean, and when you burst through the doors after John has already shot down three demons, you are so relieved to see Constantine and Tex sitting in some of the old pews. They definitely look like they've been through a battle, disheveled and beat up. You wonder how much was demons, and how much they did to each other.

"Thank God!" You run to them, and Tex's expression rises and falls as you go to Constantine, pressing your mouth to his in what you know is a needy kiss, assuring yourself as much as him.

He smirks down at you, well aware of the death- stares he's receiving from both sides. It's possible he makes a show of grabbing your ass, just to rub it in to your two Ghosts.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah. You?"

You nod. Then Constantine rolls his eyes upward, over your head to John Wick. He is quietly forbidding in his black suit, standing watch by the door. "That your other Ghost?"

With a tired sigh you nod.

"Ghosts? The fuck is Harry Potter here talkin' about?"

The urge to punch Tex or kiss him is strong as ever.

"The two of you ghosted me, didn't you?"

"Baby girl, I missed you. That's why I came to get you." He shoots a telling glare over at John Wick, who only returns a disinterested look. Maybe the master assassin had been keeping tabs on you, but he hadn't shared everything with Tex, it seems.

Constantine looks between the two assassins, then you, with an infuriating smirk.

"What?" you demand, more than a little exasperated with everthing.

"Nothing. Just seems like you have a type, angel."

You can't even argue.

"Angel?" Tex snorts at your pet name. "Does he even know you?"

"Does he ever shut up?" asks Constantine, raising one dark eyebrow.

"No, never," you sigh.

There is a howl outside that lifts every hair on your body, an unearthly sound that makes your fingers grip in Constantine's suit jacket.

"What are we going to do?"

"Good question." Constantine tugs you over to a different pew, sitting down with his arm draped around your shoulders. His message is obvious, and it's new to you. Constantine rocks your world on the nightly, but he's never been possessive before. It really shouldn't, but it ignites a warmth in your chest that makes you feel ridiculously, stupidly, giddy inside.

"Seems like we're at an impasse, gentlemen."

Tex frowns. John seems less than impressed.

"Sorry, what's stopping us from killing you and taking her?"

You tense, watching the gun John holds loosely at his side. You know Wick can move like lightning, and your heart leaps into your throat. You are ready to fling yourself between them if you have to.

"John..."

"It's ok, sweetheart. He's not going to kill me."

"No offense, but I've heard that before from lots of people who are dead now."

Constantine snorts. "You can't kill me, because I've put a curse on your friend here, and you need me to lift it."

"So lift it."

"Can't. Got a friend who can though. You'll never see him without me."

You know Constantine must be talking about the famed and powerful bokor, Papa Midnite. A chill runs down your spine. You've met him precisely once. He was polite--and hot as fuck, if you're being honest--but you knew he was not to be trifled with.

"So let's go, then," says Tex, his patience lost about three dead demons ago.

"Hold up, Howdy Doody. We got to talk first."

"Bout?"

Constantine nods down at you. "Maybe I don't know all the details, but I've heard enough. And as much as I've enjoyed filling the hole you assholes left--I can't let you hurt her again. I'll let the demons feast on your souls first."

Almost on cue, that demonic howling sounds again outside, and a chorus of hellish hissing rises. It sounds like you are surrounded.

Tex leaps to his feet. "You smug little fucker--"

"Shut up, Tex." It's Wick who shushes his friend. "What do you propose?"

Finally, Constantine looks down at you. "It depends on what she wants."

Your mouth drops open at that. You have to decide that, now? As though he can read your thoughts, and sometimes you're convinced he can, Constantine pays you an infuriating smirk.

"I...don't want them dead. Or...devoured."

"That's a start, I guess. Do you ever want to be with them again?"

Your eyes go wide as saucers. The simple answer, of course, is yes. You love them. You miss them.

However, answers are never so simple, with your Boys involved. Like an idiot, you dare to look at them, taking in Tex's hang-dog puppy-eyed look, and John's quiet but intense yearning. Then, of course, there is the man beside you, who despite his aloofness and his prickly manner, has been nothing but good to you.

You've never said it out loud, but the truth is, you love him too.

"I don't know."

"Yeah. I figured." He smirks at you, inexplicably smug, and you kind of want to smack him too.

Which always leads to interesting things, with John Constantine, your stupid lady parts sing out. Jesus Christ on a cracker, what a fucking mess.

"You got a point, Gandalf?" demands Tex, paying a nervous look to one of the cracked stained glass windows. Ominous dark shapes are flying past outside. This is not good.

"I want you assholes to accept a Spell of Submission to her."

"The fuck does that mean?" demands Tex with a thunderous frown. John remains neutral as he listens.

"It means, if you ever try to make her do something she really doesn't want to do, again, she can say the magic words to fuck up your world. Pardner."

"No fuckin' way," Tex scoffs.

At the same time, John answers, "I'll do it."

Your eyes meet across the aisle of the church. That he would take such a leap of faith-- for you-- drops the floor out from under you.

Tex, of course, interrupts your moment of soul- searching eye contact with John.

"Wait, so we could be havin' an argument and she can drop me dead with the evil eye or somethin'?"

Constantine snorts. "It would probably serve you right, Hee Haw, but no. Cause you extreme pain? Yes. But it comes at a price. All magic does. I know she wouldn't use it lightly."

It would potentially even the playing field quite a bit between you three. The balance of power amongst you had never been fair.

"What's a matter, Tex? You don't trust me?"

"Only as far a I could throw you, darlin'." But his hawk-like look softens for you after a moment, and then surprisingly he grins. "Got me over a barrel now, don't you?"

You shift a little in your seat, so that you're flush against Constantine. The solid line of his lithe warmth beside you is anchoring. You glance up at him, finding he looks arrogantly amused-- and surprisingly, a little sad. If you didn't know him so well you would have missed it, like ripples in a pool.

You turn back to Tex, an uneasy excitement thrumming in your chest.

"If the curse fits?"

The cowboy sighs, frowning at the hellspawn waiting to rend his flesh and eat his soul outside. "Alright, fine. Guess you might as well take it all." He can't look at you while he says it, but you sense his surrender-- or at least, his resignation. It's not exactly a victory, but it's something, and it pulls at your heartstrings.

"Alright, wizard boy. Hoodoo me up."

Constantine snorts, leaping up from the bench. "First we've got to get out of here. You're going to want to cover your eyes." He starts muttering an encantation and walking in a circle, sprinkling a powder on the ground from his pocket. "When this goes off we'll have ten minutes. Either of you assholes have a car nearby?"

"Yeah."

"Great. Hope you like to drive fast."

His chanting gets louder, and you see he's produced a lighter. He never uses it for cigarettes anymore, but portable fire to a magician has its uses. You can tell he's reaching the crescendo of his spell, and you scrunch your eyes closed. Even through your eyelids you see the flash, and the boom of a magical fireball that should have burned you all to dust.

However, only the things outside incinerate, their agonized cries echoing through the cavernous stone building.

"Let's move."

--------

Hope I set this up for Midnite's club and whatever shenanigans u guys want to get up to 😆 Enjoy! @sweetwolfcupcake @treedaddymcpuffpuff @tammykelly

[nqueso-emergency]

Here’s a little tea for you. I was recently in a writing workshop with someone who shared early on that he had been on the writing staff for another long-running network procedural focused on first responders (yes, it’s probably the one you’re guessing). In one of my pieces I mentioned just the concept of ‘fandom’ and that sparked a conversation between us after. He asked what fandom I was in and I shared “oh you’ll definitely appreciate this…9-1-1, the show with Angela Bassett…” and he immediately burst out laughing and said, AND I QUOTE “oh my god 911 is notorious for how awful its fandom is….you’re talking about the one where they want the two secondaries to be in a gay relationship with each other, right?”

Thus began a delightful conversation about fandom crazies, writing for network vs. fans, and why women are so invested in fictional MLM relationships (he’s also a gay man so he had a lot to say on the latter lol). Anyways, just thought you’d appreciate that across writers rooms in Los Angeles, the 911 fandom, and the buddies in particular, are well known for being terrible.

🤣 yeah it's fucking nuts that they don't realize how fucking embarrassing they are!

[childrenofcain-if]

That scenario with D and MC having an argument while being long distance has me thinking how it'd go for them to spend time together at the farm? Especially for a spoiled MC who has never done any farm work 🤣

What would D's reaction be while they're complaining that there's dirt on their hands and their $1000 branded shoes, almost having a stroke when they step into fresh cow shit. I do think at the end my MC would try to adjust and even try to bond with the farm animals because they love D too much to do otherwise

the diaconu’s farmhouse looked like something out of a postcard, except for the way the air smelled—earthy and alive, undercut with the tang of manure.

it was sprawled out across rolling fields of tall grass, speckled with wildflowers, and the old oak trees loomed like sentinels guarding the quiet. the house itself had been scrubbed clean of its former dilapidation—new paint on the weathered boards, the wraparound porch gleaming like something out of a country living magazine. it was picturesque, serene, but utterly foreign to you.

and while it was all beautiful, sure, you couldn’t stop glaring at your brand new louboutins.

“oh my god, do you know how much these cost?” you said for what felt like the hundredth time, holding up one leg to inspect the damage. the soles were caked with mud, the once-pristine leather now streaked with grime. “this is disgusting. why would you bring me here? why did i let you bring me here?”

D laughed, the sound as bright as sunlight off metal. “you could’ve worn boots like i told you to.”

“boots wouldn’t have helped,” you muttered, pulling at a loose clump of dirt. “this whole place is a death trap for footwear.”

D, who was busy tying a tarp over a stack of hay bales, grinned at you over their shoulder. their gunmetal gray eyes twinkled and their brown hair caught the light just so. they looked unfairly gorgeous for someone who’d spent the last half-hour shoveling hay. “you’ll survive, city slicker.”

“i’m not a city slicker,” you shot back, crossing your arms.

“oh yeah, sweet cheeks? when’s the last time you touched dirt on purpose?”

you opened your mouth to argue, but then there was a squelch.

D froze, looking down at their boot, which was firmly planted in a pile of fresh cow manure. you froze too, horrified on their behalf, until D burst into laughter.

“oh my god,” you said, positively freaking out. “oh my god. i think i’m going to die. get me out of here!”

“it’s just cow shit,” D said, still laughing as they scraped their boot against a patch of grass. “relax.”

“relax?” you said, incredulous. “that’s easy for you to say. you’re used to this. i’m an innocent witness. a victim.”

D shook their head, their smile as unbothered as the wind brushing through the fields. “you’ve never been funnier, you know that?”

“is that a real chicken?!”

***

the first few days were hard.

you complained constantly—about the bugs, the heat, the chores that D somehow convinced you to help with.

milking a cow turned out to be more terrifying than you’d anticipated, and the chickens seemed to have a personal vendetta against you.

you refused to wear anything other than your designer clothes, which only made everything worse, and every time you got dirt under your nails, you threatened to call an uber back to civilization.

D, for their part, took it all in stride. they teased you mercilessly but never in a way that felt mean.

when you were the one who accidentally stepped in cow shit the first time and started screaming loud enough for people to hear you in the nearby city, they laughed so hard they had to sit down, but later, they cleaned your shoes without you even asking.

“this place is cursed,” you said one evening, collapsing onto the porch swing after a particularly grueling day. your arms ached, your hair was a mess, and there was a smudge of grease on your jeans.

D sat down beside you, their face glowing with the kind of happiness that only came from being somewhere you truly belonged.

“it’s not cursed,” they said, leaning back and looking out at the horizon. “you’re just not used to it yet.”

“that’s an understatement, rook. i grew up in air-conditioned luxury. i’m not built for this life.”

they laughed again, soft and affectionate. “maybe not, but you’re doing better than i thought you would.”

you shot them a skeptical look. “that’s not exactly a compliment.”

“it is when you think about how pampered you are.”

“excuse me?”

“i mean it in the nicest way,” they said, holding up their hands in mock surrender. “you’re trying. that’s what matters.”

you wanted to argue, but the sincerity in their voice stopped you. instead, you muttered, “i’m only trying because i love you.”

D’s smile was so wide it felt like it could split the sky. “i love you too, my gorgeous city slicker.”

***

as the days went on, you found yourself adjusting in ways you hadn’t expected.

you stopped flinching at the sight of dirt, started remembering to wear the boots D bought for you instead of your ruined designer shoes. you even began to enjoy some of the chores—not because they were fun, but because they made D happy, and seeing D happy made everything else worth it.

you bonded with the animals, too, though it took time. the cows were less terrifying when you realized how gentle they could be, and the chickens stopped pecking at you quite so viciously.

one particularly stubborn goat, marcus, became your unlikely favorite, and D teased you endlessly about how you’d started sneaking it extra treats.

“see?” they said one afternoon, watching as you scratched the goat’s ears. “told you you’d come around.”

“don’t get cocky,” you replied, but there was no real bite to your words.

but as much as you still grumbled and complained, there was something magnetic about D’s ease. the way they moved through this place—like the land and the air knew them—made you feel like an outsider in the best way.

you followed them around reluctantly, watching as they worked with a kind of practiced motions, securing gates, checking on animals, tinkering with an old pickup truck parked under a tree.

it was easy to forget, sometimes, that they’d lived a whole life before you. that this farmhouse and these fields had been theirs long before san francisco, long before yale.

they’d told you about it before—about summers spent baling hay and feeding chickens, about the farmhands who taught them to swear in three different languages—but the reality of it hit different.

***

D watched you from a distance one day as you were petting one of the fluffy, brown highland cows, their hands busy under the hood of the pickup truck but their eyes constantly flickering to where you stood.

they weren’t sure what they’d expected when they brought you here for the summer—maybe for you to complain the whole time, maybe for you to hate it—but seeing you with the cows, with dirt on your hands and dirty boots, felt like something they hadn’t let themself hope for.

when they glanced at the flatbed of the truck, their gaze landed on the pair of gloves you’d both left there earlier. their gloves, worn and patched in places, were next to yours, which were new but now had slight smudges of mud. something about the sight made D pause.

this place had always been a piece of them, something they couldn’t forget no matter how far away they moved. but seeing you here, trying despite yourself, made it feel like something new. like it wasn’t just theirs anymore.

you glanced up, catching their eye. “what?” you asked, brushing your hands off on your jeans.

D shook their head, their smile softening. “nothing. this summer has just been full of surprises.”

you walked over, brushing a stray piece of hay off your sweater. “well, don’t get used to it. this is a one-time thing.”

“sure it is,” D said, their smile widening.

the sun was starting to set, casting the fields in gold and pink. you sat beside D on the edge of the flatbed, watching as the cows wandered back toward the barn.

“this place is beautiful,” you said finally, your voice softer than before.

D nodded, their gaze fixed on the horizon. “yeah. it really is.”

you hesitated, then reached out, your hand brushing against theirs. “i can see the appeal now. at least a little.”

D turned to look at you, their expression unreadable but warm. “thanks for being here with me.”

“thanks for not laughing at me when i screamed about the dirt during the first day here,” you replied, trying to lighten the mood.

“i mean, i definitely laughed,” D said, their grin breaking through. “but i’ll pretend i didn’t, for your sake.”

you rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t help the smile that broke through your lips.

***

for D, this really was a dream.

they told you about it during your last night together at the farmhouse as you sat on the porch, watching the fireflies dance in the twilight. the air was warm and sweet, and for once, you weren’t thinking about the dirt under your nails or the soreness in your muscles.

“i used to think about this place all the time,” they said, their voice quiet. “when i was a kid, it was like... like magic. i loved it so much. i never wanted to leave.”

“and now?” you asked, leaning against their shoulder.

“now it’s even better,” they said, turning their gray gaze towards you. “because you’re here.”

you looked at them, startled by the honesty in their tone. “even though i’m a spoiled brat sometimes who whines about everything?”

D laughed, pressing a soft kiss against your lips. “even then. especially then.”

[gadriezmannsgirl]

idk if this is where you write the requests but i have one for pedri🫶🏼 so maybe they’re just hanging out at home and y/n does that tiktok prank on him where she pretends to be on the phone with her friends and she’s like “whattt ong no way” basically pretending her friends gossiping to her, and pedri being all like omg let me listen put it on speaker

Yes, this is where you ask anything or req something🤣 Celebration fic as I ended my semester✨🌻🫶🏼 got one week of vacation before I start again, also fic celebration for Barça's win and Pedri's goal, so here we go! (Cute Golden fact: Golden Boy, Gavi doing the last goal at CN and Golden Boy, Pedri doing the first goal at Montjuic in an official match🥹🫶🏼)

Working on it, right now, because I was inspired🤭 also @http-isabela SHISME FIC! 🤣🤭

Chismoso -P.G8

Summary: Your boyfriend loves some good gossip

You smiled at your phone watching a girl do a prank on her boyfriend in Tiktok where she pretended to be on the phone with her friends with some "gossip" and her boyfriend was trying to listen to it.

Pedri, your almost three years boyfriend, loved any kind of gossip and whilst you delivered to them nicely to rant about your day or get off any anger, he got his dose of gossip and helped you with your problems.

You loved it tho. It was nice the fact, you were lovers and at the same time the best of friends, trusting everything you have and own into the others arms.

"Amor, estás lista?" (Babe, you ready?)

You smirked. You definitely were going to do this one.

"Si!" You replied grabbing the tray with your food. You pushed your phone in between your shoulder and chin and walked towards your living room. "Help me, please?"

"Hostias preciosa, you could have told me you'd need the help" You shook your head smiling softly

"I had it done until now" It was his turn to shake his head with a smile on

"Who is it?" He asked whispering noticing you were in the phone

"Alexia, she's been texting me non-stop today, she told me she'd call me for something, don't know what it is tho" You replied in the same way

"Baby, it's starting" Pedro pouted as you kissed his plump lips repeatedly

"You can watch it while I'm on the phone, it'll be quick, hopefully"

"No, I'll just pause it. I don't wanna watch it alone"

"It'll be just for a few minutes"

"Venga, bonita" You never resisted his big brown beautiful eyes and that little nickname of his

"Stay quiet" He nods sitting on the couch and you taking a seat next to him, he was the one who pulled you closer by the legs to him "Yes, I'm listening" You said before humming a few times

"Ay joder" You said furrowing your eyebrows as Pedri looked at you "And like she never stops having a few problems with Cynthia..." You made up sighing before shaking your head "That's bullshit"

"Gossip?" He mouths as you nod "Oh, I wanna know that. Put it on speaker" You shook your head <no> "Why not?" He asks but you shook your head "Wanna hear some good gossip" You smiled shaking your head and did a demand with your hand for later "No" He whined, you shushed him up "Want it now" He whispered pushing himself onto you "C'mon, let me hear" You started giggling "Stop laughing, focus on the gossip so you can tell me the details of it"

And with that you bursted in laughter.

"Oh my god!" You said throwing yourself at Pedri who was confused "Oye, no seas tan chismoso!" (Hey, don't be such a gossipmonger)

"I'm not a gossipmonger, I'm just interested in everything you do, speak to or look at, 'cus you're my girl" He tries to defend himself as you shake your head shaking your hand as well

"You're a chismoso" You said in laughter as Pedri smiles

"Chica, the call" He said after a few seconds as you show him your blocked phone

"There's no call, mi niño. I'm pranking you and realizing I have the biggest gossip for Fer and your parents once they came back next week"

"No! They'll be going at it for the rest of our lives!" You laughed as Pedri went ahead and hugged himself into your chest

"I'm preparing everything then" You smiled

"So, it was a prank?" You nod humming once you both calmed down "So there's no gossip? Joder" He lamented and you laughed again, this time Pedri joining too as you leaned down and kissed his lips

"Ay 'jueputa. Mi niño lindo y chismoso" (My pretty and gossipmonger boy) You both laughed, you felt Pedri leave a kiss in your cleavage

"Sólo un poquito" (Just a little bit)

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Taglist: @gaviypedrisbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld @http-isabela

[blue2black]

HAZBIN HOTEL BLOOPERS:

BONUS (1 & 1/2)

—🎬—

Vivziepop: Don’t get me wrong; I love working with these people. Really, I do.

Vivziepop: But for the love of everything that is unholy if they make one more Snapcube, Sonic Dub reference…

*Vivziepop, sighing and pinching the bridge of her nose*

Vivziepop: I will go to hell for murder.

—————————

HAZBIN HOTEL X SNAPCUBE

—————————

(Husk and Alastor fight scene)

Alastor: *sighs dramatically*

Husk: 🫤? *thinks Alastor is improving*

Alastor: I miss my wife, Husker…

Husk: Oh—haHA! 😂 *tilts his head back*

Alastor: I miss her a lot 😭

—————————

(Lucifer punches Adam scene)

Lucifer, wired up in the air to appear like he’s flying: I have to contain you in here.

Adam, also wired up in the air to appear like he’s flying: What??

Lucifer: Your—*giggles*—your fart smells so bad… 😆

Adam: Wait, it wasn’t me!

Adam, being dropped: YOU SMELT IT THEREFORE YOU’RE THE ONE WHO DELT IIIITTTTTTT!!!!!

Lucifer, covering his smile: 🤣

—————————

(Vox calms down Valentino scene)

*Vox, coming up from the elevator*

*elevator dings and opens* Vox: 😏

Vox: My dusty bitch senses told me-

Valentino: SHUT THE FUCK YOUR MOUTH YOU PIECE OF SHIT- 😂 *throws drink*

Director: CUT! Both of you—WHAT THE HELL??

*Valentino and Vox laugh their asses off*

—————————

(Valentino hits Angel scene)

Director: (3…2…1) Marker.

🎬

Director: Action…!

Angel: Val, I didn’t-

*Valentino “hits” Angel* Angel: OW—Val—!

Valentino, holding Angel by his scruff: Shutthefuckup—SHUT THE FUCK UP! EVERYBODY’S FUCKED MY WIFE *laughs*

Angel: *laughing out of confusion* WHAT?!

—————————

(Lucifer in battle scene)

Lucifer, at the edge of the hotel’s roof: GOIN’ UUUUUUUUP!!!

Lucifer: *jumps off*

—————————

*Velvette and Carmella laughing*

Carmella: Wait—waitwaitwaitwaitwait. *smiling*

Velvette: *wheezes* 😆

Carmella: Okay—go ahead. *holding up the angel’s head (fake)*

Velvette: Hey! Give that, that looks really scrumptious! *trails off giggling*

Carmella: 🙂

Velvette: (ಡ 艸ಡ) *barely holding it together*

Carmella and Velvette: …

Carmella: No.

*Velvette and Carmella break out into wheezing laughter*

—————————

(Alastor breaking Vox’s spy camera scene)

Alastor: *picks up camera* HaHA…you’re going to have to do better than that.

Vox: Why are you on the same line as the VILLAIN LI- *Alastor breaks the camera*

*BTS crew bursts out laughing* Alastor: *walking out as if nothing happened*

—————————

(Alastor takes Charlie to Cannibal Town)

Alastor, while linking arms with Charlie: And here we are!

Charlie: Cannibal Town?

Alastor: No.

Alastor, in all seriousness: Welcome to tilted towers.

Charlie: *chuckling*🤦🏻‍♀️ I know you did not just mess up this whole scene on purpose to make that fucking joke. *Director: CUT!*

—🎬—

(Alastor introduces Charlie to Rosie scene)

Alastor: This is Rosie! One of the most darling, daring and dangerous overlord on this side of the Pentagram! *Rosie bows politely*

Rosie: *raises herself back up to face Alastor and Charlie*

Alastor: … :)

Charlie: …? •-•

Rosie: … “:)

Rosie, resiting what Alastor told her to say: We get so tilted at the towers-

*Alastor wheezes* Charlie: OH for fuck sa-

—————————

Vox *trying to fix Valentino’s coat for him before the start of a scene*

Valentino: I got it, Christian, geez! 😖

Vox: I’m just trying to help you, god damn!

Velvette: Hey, can you two stop having relationship issues while I’m on the phone with my nonexistent dentist. 😌

Vox: AhHA! Oh, funny that Lilli, yeah.

Vox: 😒🖕���

Velvette: Û🫦Û🖕🏾

—————————

(Pentious and Cherri at the club scene)

Cherri: Why would we have sex?

Pentious: Why-

Pentious: *laughs at his idea* Why are your tits one polygon— *breaks off wheezing*

Cherri: PFF—HAHA! 🤣💥💥 *bangs on the table*

—————————

Husk, running around behind the scenes: HAHA, HAH HAH--

Husk: *jumps up* ONE! ☝🏿😄

Vaggie, witnessing it all: ᵀʰᵉ ᶠᵘᶜᵏ ⁱˢ ʰᵉ ᵈᵒⁱⁿᵍ…? 😆

—————————

(Discussing theories with Alastor and Lucifer 😃)

Alastor: Do you think it's Lilith?...the one who leashes my character.

Lucifer: Ehh, I think it's possible at least.

Lucifer: It feels a little too obvious.

Alastor: Some of the fans add a little more spice to it.

Lucifer: Spice?

Alastor: 😗

Lucifer: 😐

Lucifer: Ew.

Lucifer: You stole my wife, Alastor?

Alastor: Haha! 😆

Alastor: How do you think Lucifer would feel if that happened?

Lucifer: Oh--I don't know Amir, how do you think he would feel being CUCKED BY A DEER?!

Alastor, laughing: I KNEW a reference was coming!-

—————————

(Angel calming Niffty in the club scene)

Niffty: Shut up shut up shut up shut up...

Niffty: Shut up.

Niffty: SHUT UP.

Niffty: SHUT UP!!

Angel, holding her up: Kimiko, no one's saying anything... 😭

Niffty: I'm improving, do me a favor and play along. *flaps her hand in Angel's face*

Angel: But you're just copying-

Niffty: SHUT UP!

[meraki-yao]

RWRB: The Awardist Podcast Interview Thoughts

Alright after listening to the podcast giddily while aggressively stomping on the cross-ramp machine to work out my extreme happiness and excitement to the point that I burnt through twice as many calories than usual and soaked through my shirt, I'm here with thoughts

Pippin @pippin-katz, who sent me a voice message at 3 am my time to tell me to brace myself and be prepared for what's happening and what I'm going to wake up it, did their own version of a summary+thoughts with timestamps here, go check that one out

So my list of thoughts is gonna be a little more all over the place

Immediately burst out laughing with the "mouthful" joke, even more so when the boys both caught it lmao

"I am not happy to see Taylor's face" and "I have a Post-it I'll stick it over your face now" that is peak bestie behaviour

Nick honey I love you but I... do not believe you don't look through online stuff lmao we literally caught you likely fan content and edits you posted two Henry edits and referenced another one

I love how unintentionally in sync they are??? For the first question they started talking at the same time, and for the second they both started nodding and stayed silent forgetting this was an audio interview

"mate, mate, mate, MATE" and the last one being said in sync oh my god this is so much fun

The whole comment on the signing wars: what Pippin said, we were literally calling Taylor "that little fucker" yesterday when he started taunting us with more BTS (EVERYONE KEEP VOTING PLEASE)

"What possessed you? What have you got against me?", the same energy as "Why do you dislike me?"

Taylor's explanation of signing on Nick's face and how it started made me laugh and scoff a little because I translated that fucking moment: the first time it happened, Taylor was in China, it was the firstprince PR photo not the GQ magazine, he was on a boat, and he was the one to ask for the photos to sign lmao

Again, need to see them sign stuff in the same time and space: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!! :D

"Take it Nick" Nick's little snicker in response

A little heavy and personal but I wish I could talk to them and tell them how much the book, the movie, the characters and the boys mean to me and how it kept me somewhat afloat last October when I was drowning every single day, and how this story made me want to change myself and break out of my status quo

I know I've been saying Taylor knows Casey's pronouns and he gets them wrong when he's nervous, and I stand by that, but God the sigh of relief I let out when he used they/them

"Right Nick?" is so oddly comforting?

Oh my fucking God the "Top to Bottom" joke was a low-hanging fruit but it made me laugh

Also even the order was right! "Top to Bottom", "Taylor and I" (jkjk lmao) 😜

I really fucking hope that the "that's what I'm known for now, doing intimacy work on screen" is an offhand joke and that people don't genuinely label Nick as that

"Why don't you speak for this, Taylor" again, unexplainably comforting

"Seeing my mate at all these awards shows" made me remember a Chinese phrase "頂峰相見·", literally "meeting again at the peak", meaning "I'll see you when we're both at our best"

Nick's burst of laughter at the "who's a better kisser" comment

Taylor I swear to God 🤣 he combined the "is nick a good kisser" and the "who has your heart joey or Nick" questions together and said "I don't know, I don't know how to answer that question, I have no idea" DUDE YOU LITERALLY ANSWERED THE GOOD KISSER QUESTION WITH "YOU KNOW WHAT HE IS A GOOD KISSER WE HAD TO PRACTICE A LOT PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT" WITH ZERO HESITATION (that answer, on that day, was first thing in the morning for me, and I lost my sanity for the next two hours)

I'm so fucking happy and Matthew comes from a theatre too, speaking as a theatre person and someone who has been dissecting this film since its release

I really think there's gotta be more improvised scenes? Or at the very least stuff like the morning after V&A that was a last-minute decision to add in and wasn't in the script, or maybe scenes where there wasn't specific lines written and they just reacted and spoke based on the scenario? Or even little moments, the shoulder kiss or something?

"Tay" OH MY HEART

Ok I can make an argument on both how Nick is like and not like Henry, but Taylor is so ACD that he basically fell out of the book? How does he not see that? (personally think Taylor's very similar to Alex with a bit of Marco?)

Oh my god the whole segment of the DNC/getting caught scene and Taylor's ass

"I will take this one" "yeah"

"I love working with her, we both love working with her" That's sweet- hang on Nick you just have this one scene with her

I have so many more questions about this scene: Was Nick actually in the closet for that one shot? How many takes did it take?

Taylor referencing a detail in Bottoms from like a 30-second scene in the movie!!! Yes!!! We love seeing friends being supportive of each other (suddenly want to hear Taylor's opinions on M&G lmfao)

"And I'm not even going to get into M&G"

The text question is kind of the only question that made me think "Why would you ask that?" because that was definitely more of a directing/editing thing

Nick really freaking loves the cake scene, he mentioned that as his favourite scene three times at this point, all times on audio, twice on video

Aw Taylor's story about Jack... 🥺

But somehow everyone knowing it lmao, and Taylor's fucking awful British accent

And at this point Nick starts swearing lmao

Awww Nick's compliment to Taylor

Tangent: what the fuck is a fuel museum?

Oh I just love hearing them finishing each other's sentences when one of them forgets the word

Lmao imagine just recovering from Covid and then needing to make out for two hours

"Next to a witchcraft shop" What the fuck lmao

Tangent again but I could write a sociology essay on what Taylor said about architecture and history

I swear to God, Nick's "go on Taylor" somehow being softer, you can fucking hear that that little shit is smirking

Taylor saying that he wants a second book from Casey and me immediately going "BOTH OF YOU QUIT YOUR FUCKING JOBS" (I have complicated feelings about the bonus chapter)

"What-if world" exactly!

Taylor pulling out the stats about the queer population: did he fucking calculate that on the spot or he just casually have that information in his head?

the little wrap-up by the hosts was so sweet but somehow talking about Taylor's ass again oh my god (his body hair being digitally edited, it was minx right?)

"it's so sweet and nice and we need more of this in our lives right now" YES WE DO, WE FUCKING DO

"he's gonna be second-guessing his booty" is not a sentence I thought I'd ever hear but here we are

Culture shock moment: the number to call the podcast/American phone numbers is 3-3-4 which caught me off guard for a second cuz here it's 4-4

And that's it for now! God, I need so much more of this, like, if this is what we get out of a half-an-hour podcast interview what would press and promo be like?

Now that we're back for awards I really freaking hope these new RWRB content will be coming back, maybe like once a week or something

WE'RE BACK WE'RE FUCKING BACK WE'RE FUCKING WINNING

EVERYONE GO VOTE GO VOTE GO VOTE

[thought--bubble]

If I had the love I needed, Pt 1

Will (Salad Days) X (Friend Reader)

Warnings Below

Word Count: 2,431

If I Had The Love I Needed Master List

Will (Salad Days) Master List

Full Master list

Banners by @arcielee

A/N: This will be just 2 parts. Was originally going to be a one-shot, but it just kept getting longer and longer 🤣🤣 (Canon divergence, I fully believe Will smashed Leah, but I didn't want that for my story)

Warnings:: abuse, neglect, alcoholism. (Saved the good stuff for part 2)

"Get out!!!" Your aunt is once again, very drunk and screeching at you while hurtling dishes toward your head.

"Ok! Ok!" You grab your tiny backpack and book it out of the flat. This was a common occurrence for you in your life. Your parents have been gone since before an age where you would have memories and you were left in the care of your aunt who was a full-blown alcoholic.

When she went on a bender, it wasn't abnormal for her to throw one of these fits and throw you out of the flat for a few days. Typical shame response. It did, however, leave you in a precarious position since you did not have enough money to rent your own flat, and you helped your aunt pay the bills so you weren't able to save all that much either.

So you headed off to the fish and chips shop that your best friend works at. She's always the one who bails you out. Letting you stay at her house until your aunt comes off her bender and calls you home to care for her.

When you arrive, Leah is alone in the shop with Will. Leah told you about the awkward encounter she had with him recently when she was fighting with her boyfriend Matt. She almost did something she would live to regret, and Will couldn't seem to let it go. Will was a lonely guy. Anyone who interacted with him could see that. You didn't know him well, just that Leah has known him since childhood.

Leah looks relieved as you enter the shop while Will looks a bit irritated.

"Sorry" you awkwardly mumble. "Leah, can I talk to you?"

"Oh god, please tell me she didn't kick you out again?" Leah says a look of exasperation on her face.

"It wouldn't be my life if she didn't," you smile weakly at her.

"I'll ask my mum if you can stay, but it's been a little crazy at my house, and my mum is not happy with me at the moment" Leah says while scratching the back of her neck.

"If you can't, it's not a big deal. I'll figure something out. " You try to sound confident, but you don't have many friends, so if Leah can't help you, you actually have no clue what you are going to do.

Leah looks at you skeptically. " You can't be out and about all night on the streets of derby wearing that," Leah gestures toward you.

"I don't look bad!" You look down at yourself. You are wearing a plain black jumper with a black pleated mini skirt knee socks and Mary Jane shoes. Your hair in two braids that hang loosely down either side of your head.

"No, you don't. But you'll look like a tart walking around all night, like that, " Leah says, concerned.

"Why would you be walking round all night?" Will interrupts.

"Because her drunk aunt kicks her out every time she has a few too many," Leah says, frustrated.

"It's not a big deal, Leah. I'll be fine, " you say, not wanting anyone to take pity on you.

As if sent by the gods to take the focus off of you, Matt and Tom burst through the door. loud and boisterous.

"We're closed!" Leah says laughing and annoyed.

"Not for us!" Matt says happily leaning over the counter and giving Leah a kiss.

You can see Will's face drop at this as he looks away.

"And where have you been? No one's seen ya for 2 weeks!" Matt says to Will, who just shrugs in response.

Matt goes around the counter and starts rummaging through the cooler, which is clearly annoying Leah as you just stand there. You know it's only a matter of time before Leah kicks them out, and you can finally talk to her privately.

"You could stay at mine. You know, if you really needed to." Will says softly.

Tom stifles a giggle while Will punches his shoulder. "Let's leave the ladies alone," will says getting up, guiding Tom to the door.

Matt laughing gives Leah one final kiss and then walks out behind them.

After they have gone, it feels like a hurricane just left the shop.

Leah looks up at you and sighs. "Now let's try to figure out what to do with you, yeah? My mum text back said, "Not tonight." But I got a couple of girls I can call for ya"

You grit your teeth but smile in thanks. You don't look forward to the idea of sleeping at a complete strangers place, but your options are very limited and dwindling by the second.

You sit on the stool Will was previously sitting at and swing your feet. While Leah cleans up the shop and sends out a few texts trying to find you a place to stay for the night.

"Do you need help?" You offer hoping to break the uncomfortable silence that has fallen between you

"Nah, almost done," she smiles at you, and your stomach turns. PITY. you can see it in her face, and you hate it.

After nearly two hours, she's finally done cleaning, and restocking so the two of you head out, and she locks up.

"I don't know what to do. No one has said yes yet," she bites her nails as she continues looking through her phone.

"Will offered" you laugh looking up at the sky.

"What? Oh.... that might not be a good idea, " Leah says

"I didn't say I was gonna go. Just thought I'd tell ya. Given your..... recent situation"

"That was nothing. A mistake. Should have never gone as far as it did, " Leah says, clearly uncomfortable with this topic.

"Ok. Well, I will figure something out. Go home. I'll be fine. " You hug Leah and give her a reassuring smile.

She looks at you unsure but knows that she has done all she can. "Please just text me when you have landed somewhere? I'll be up all night with worry"

"Promise." You give her a cheeky grin and head off down the sidewalk. Once you turn away from her, that confident facade you had been wearing for her benefit falls. You had no clue what you were going to do.

'I'll just walk around. Not much can happen if I just keep moving.' You think to yourself. You see Will, Tom and Matt heading back towards your direction.

"I'm late, obviously," Matt says annoyed.

"Late?" You ask him eyebrows raised.

"I like to walk Leah home. We weren't supposed to be gone this long. " he shoots an irritated glare towards Will.

"She just started walking, not even 5 minutes ago. You could still catch up, " you say while gesturing toward the direction Leah went

"Right," Matt takes off down the street.

Tom continues walking in that same direction while Will stops in front of you.

"Did you end up finding a place to land?" His voice is so gentle it causes a small smile to creep onto your face.

"Oh yeah, totally headin' there now" you try to keep your face from telling on you but fail miserably

"Will? You comin?" Tom yells from ahead

"Yeah, we are." Will grabs your hand and pulls you along with him. "Told ya you can crash at mine. Leah was right. You can't just wander around alone all night"

You go to protest, but he gives you a "Don't bother" look.

You surrender and follow him. You don't pull your hand away. For some reason, the gentle touch, even something as innocuous as someone holding your hand, feels comforting. Gentleness isn't something you have experienced. Much of so, him holding your hand feels like you are finally getting something you have long since needed.

Tom looks at your intertwined hands and then at Will. "Uh-"

"Shut it, Tom, keep walkin" Will says with a cold stoic look but gives your hand a little squeeze.

You blindly follow Will at this point, mesmerized with his touch, how it's gentle yet commanding.

Tom breaks off in a different direction to go to his flat while you and Will continue straight ahead.

"Are you sure your nan won't be upset you are bringing a random girl home with you?"

"My Nan is bedridden right now. She won't even know you're there. Besides, you're not a random girl. You're a friend of Leah."

The two of you reach the flat.

"Just keep quiet and follow me yeah?"

You nod as he opens the door to the flat as quietly as possible. The door leads directly to a flight of stairs. He motions for you to take your shoes off.

Once you take the shoes off, you hold them in your left hand while Will grabs your right hand and leads you up the stairs.

Your heart is pounding as you go up the stairs, and for a brief second, you regret coming here. What are you doing? You don't know Will enough to be doing this. As if he can sense your hesitation, he turns back towards you and smiles, and just like that, you are pleased with your decision.

Yep. This was a good decision because..... that smile. Yup.

When the two of you reach the top of the landing, he turns back to you and puts his finger over his lips. You nod toward him as he pulls you further into the flat tiptoeing past the first door. He stops at the second door, opens it, and motions for you to go inside.

You enter what seems to be his bedroom.

"Make yourself comfy. I'll be right back" he says this while giving you a cheeky smile as he quietly closes the door.

For the first few minutes, you awkwardly stand in the middle of the room, holding your shoes to your chest as you look around the room.

There is a bed and boxspring on one side of the room. A very small bed you note. That should fill you with nerves, but instead, your face gets hot.

There is a dresser with some assorted items on top. the drawers haphazardly closed. A pile of clothes on the floor.

About 15 minutes later, he comes into the room with two small mugs of tea, placing them on the dresser and then quietly closing the door.

"Brought you a cuppa" he whispers while he looks at you with a smile " you can put your shoes down" he chuckles

"Oh yeah, thanks." You feel your face heating up again as you place your shoes on the floor.

You reach for the tea and bring the cup to your lips, taking a sip. "I umm I like your room," you say awkwardly.

"Yeah, thanks. Not much, but it's home. " he sips his own tea, his eyes peering at you over the cup.

You both finish your tea in silence.

"You can borrow a shirt to sleep in if you need. I'd give you joggers, but I know they wouldn't fit. " he chuckles, looking you up and down.

Your face doesn't just heat up at this comment. You are convinced it has actually erupted into flames. "N-n-no, that's ok. I can sleep in my jumper"

"We'll have to share the bed.... can't have my Nan come out to use the loo and see me on the sofa."

You look over at the very tiny bed and bite your bottom lip.

"Don't worry love we'll make it work"

He makes his way over to his dresser, pulling out a pair of joggers and a long t-shirt.

"I'll go get dressed then," he leaves the room again, closing the door as quietly as possible behind him.

You let out a breath and take your skirt and socks off. The jumper you are wearing is big enough to cover your bum but just barely. Your thighs on full display.

"Lord, this is awkward," you mumble to yourself as you fold your skirt and socks, placing them on top of your little backpack. You remain standing in the middle of the room, pulling your jumper down, trying to will it with the power of your mind to somehow grow longer.

Will returns, and you spin around to look at him. He looks good in his loose-fitting t shirt and joggers a lone silver chain around his neck.

He goes over to the bed and lays down on his side toward you. Your feet are rooted to the floor, your heart pounding so loudly in your chest that you are certain he and possibly his Nan in the other room can hear it.

"C'mere," he looks at you with a twinkle in his eyes, but you stay frozen, unable to move. "I'm not gonna bite ya, I promise"

You move slowly toward the bed and sit down on the edge. You lay down on your side with your back to Will.

You can feel him shift behind you making room for you.

"Do you mind if I put my arm on ya? Space is kinda limited. " he chuckles

"Oh yeah, ok.... that's fine. " You hold your breath as you feel his arm come down around you and pull you back so your back is flush against his chest. His arm on your waist and his hand flat against your upper stomach.

You can feel him sigh into your hair as he shifts a little more behind you, making himself comfortable. You can feel your heart beating so hard you wouldn't be surprised if it just leapt from your chest and ran out of the room.

Will nuzzles his face into your hair and takes a deep breath in pressing himself tighter to your back. You close your eyes and try to sleep. You can hear and feel his breathing behind you, falling into a steady rhythm.

You try desperately to calm your heart rate down but can't. You feel his arm and hand on you and his body pressed up against yours, and you feel like there is electricity pulsing throughout your body. A strong and deep want developing between your legs that you are desperately trying to ignore.

"Do I make you that uncomfortable?" He whispers into your ear.

You noticably shiver when he does this and release a shakey sigh. "Oh umm no" you whisper.

He pulls you tighter against his body pressing his now very hard cock up against your lower back.

"Then why can't you sleep?"

A/N: teehee. Second part will be out soon. 💚

Part 2

To be added to taglist click here

[spencer-charnas-ix]

How to give an unsub a midlife crisis with SSA Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner and SSA David Rossi - A Criminal Minds Fanfic

A/N: I randomly thought of this idea of Hotch and Rossi being victims of an unsub and the unsub's planning to kill them, but Hotch and Rossi just make fun of them and make them cry and have a midlife crisis because why not and it would be hilarious, and we need sassy Hotch and Rossi🤣

"Oh, for god sake, why the hell did we get kidnapped?" Aaron Hotchner said, rolling his eyes as he was tied to a chair with his co-worker/friend David Rossi.

"I have no clue, but to be completely honest I don't care" Rossi shrugged, sighing deeply, as they heard a voice crackle from a nearby speaker.

"Welcome, SSA Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner and SSA David Rossi, it's a pleasure to see you," The voice said

Hotch rolled his eyes. "Great, it's fucking jigsaw; what is this the saw franchise" He mocked

"Yeah, are we gonna be killed by John Kramer?" Rossi interjected with a scoff

"Or better yet, are we going to play a game?" Hotch added with a tired sigh

"Hey, I'm not John Kramer!-"

"Oh really, I hadn't noticed." Rossi mocked sarcastically

"Well, I'm here to kill the both of you, and I'm going to enjoy-" The unsub said before Hotch interrupted him.

"Spare us the villain monologue; we've heard it all before," Hotch said, rolling his eyes.

"Why are you both so mean?" The unsub whined, feeling annoyed

"Oh gee, we have a ton of damn reasons why", Rossi explained, rolling his eyes

"First of all, we've had no sleep; our sanity is gone, and we have to deal with our chaotic mentally ill work children, AKA our team, and we've turned into major alcoholics from it", Hotch explained condescendingly.

"But you know I am still gonna kill you both-"

"Oh, please kill us that way; we won't have to deal with our stupid, mentally ill work children." Hotch interrupted, looking bored of the conversation

The unsub came into the room, but their face was covered. They were wearing a black hoodie, jeans, trainers, and a Jason Voorhees mask with a voice modulator embedded in it.

"Wonderful, we're gonna get murdered by Jason Voorhees," Hotch said, scoffing

"Great, let me guess, you have mommy issues; what's the matter missing your mother, Pamela or better yet, did you drown in Camp Crystal Lake because of your deformed face?." Rossi sneered as Hotch laughed

"HEYYY, STOP CALLING ME JASON VOORHEES, AND MY MOTHER ISN'T PAMELA, AND I DIDN'T DROWN AT CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE BECAUSE OF MY FACE!"

"Oh, quit your whining; I mean, honestly, how are you going to kill us, huh? You gonna bore us to death," Hotch mocked as Rossi burst out laughing.

"No I-i'm gonna set you both on fire!" The unsub shouted angrily

"Oh really you're gonna set us on fire, and when you do play 'This girl is on fire' when we die, it'll be funny", Rossi laughed as Hotch nodded, laughing.

The unsub started getting upset and had a mid-life crisis due to the mocking, mimicking and other insults Rossi and Hotch had thrown at them.

Meanwhile, Hotch had been on the phone with the FBI SWAT Team the whole time as he and Rossi were also free from their restraints, but they acted like they were still tied up.

"Also, you know I've been on the phone with the FBI SWAT Team all this time, right? You boys can come in now!" Hotch said into the phone as the SWAT Team arrested the unsub as Hotch and Rossi got up from their chairs and left the warehouse they were trapped in.

"God I need a drink", Rossi said, pushing his hair back with a tired sigh

"Me too, wanna go back to the office and drink all the booze we have?" Hotch suggested

Rossi grinned. "You read my mind, Aaron"

Both men laughed as they went back to the office after a long, tiring day and drank like it was no tomorrow.

[themuse-if]

Hey😀! So, I had this super funny image involving the Rebel Rejects, it was a fun idea to have in the middle of the night (since it kind of involves that).

How would the band react to Mc who is sleepwalking, and in the middle of a slumber party (or something similar), when everyone is sleeping, Mc simply approaches one of them and starts looking at them fixedly (like those wide-eyed eyes of crazy people in movies).

This was really fun for me because when I was younger I had sleepwalking. And one of the times I had this, my sister was sleeping next to me, and I just sat and looked at her (in the same way I described with the ROs), she literally ended up screaming in the middle of the night and never wanted to sleep close to me again🤣🤣.

Bye~

{Sorry if there are any spelling mistakes, English is not my native language}.

Hey! This is a really silly scenario and I absolutely love it!

Lets say that MC and the others all fell asleep during a late night movie marathon in one of their dorm rooms. And now MC is currently standing over Joleen/Johnny.

De: *De rolls over and bumps into Jo they open their eyes to see if they woke them up, but instead see MC standing over them with a glazed look* Uhhhhhhhhhhhh what the.... *waves hand in front of MC's face, then whispers* Oh my god! *gently nudges Jo awake*

Jo: *Jo wakes up looking at De confused**De points out MC still standing over Jo, eyes blank**Jo silently screams* Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Ro: *starts to wake up* Uh what's up with you guys? *notices MC, and starts cracking up* Oh ok, well shit... What do we do?

Jo: This is actually my nightmare. I literally can't move! *looks to De for help*

De: *lightly chuckles* Chill out you two. *pulls out their phone and googles what to do* Ok, seems simple enough.

Ro: Aye aye captain, what's the plan? *mock salutes*

De: Google just says not to disturb someone who's sleep walking. It also says to try and guide them back to bed if you can.

Ro/Jo: *look at each other panicking*

De: *sighs deeply* This is what we're gonna do, you two are gonna stand on either side of MC and I'll supervise to make sure we don't bump into or trip over anything.

Ro/Jo: *Ro and Jo stand on either side of MC and lightly place their hands on MC's back, they start guiding MC back to their room following De's lead*

De: *stops them outside of MC's room, picks MC up in a fire man's carry*

Ro: *opens the door for them* *whispers* Show off. *chuckles lightly*

De: *rolls their eyes and slowly carries MC to bed*

De/Ro/Jo: *walk back to their dorm cackling the whole way*

Jo: Do you think they're gonna remember any of this?

De: Probably not, but if they do we shouldn't tease them too much. *looks at Ro, smack them in the back of their head when they avoid their gaze*

Ro: Hey! What was that for? *looks at them in mock horror* I'll play nice, scouts honor! *places their hand over their heart*

De/Jo: *in sync* Yeah, right. *burst out laughing*

[lokisgoodgirl]

hi babe <33

let me tell you a very funny (slightly embarrassing) story that happened last week!!

so i was helping the english department at my school clean out their big and very outdated literature study books bc im best friends with all of them duh

anyway . im casually oohing and aahing at every book i see and stealing whatever poetry book i can find that they dont want anymore

until i come across this small pocketsized book! its teal and the spine is cracked and from afar the big S on the cover and the teal colour makes it look like fucking. Shrek. so naturally i was like ???? A SHREK PLAY???

and so i picked it up bc a gal got curious!! and i look closer and it turns out to be Henry IV part 1! and bc i cant keep my big mouth shut i yelled "OH M GOD ISNT THIS THE TOM HIDDLESTON PLAY???" and the entire office went. Quiet.

And they all turned to look at me. mind you these are women who ARE in Tom's age range so they pretty much grew up with his work!!! and ofc they KNOW him its tom hiddleston. and one of them was like " the??? the tom hiddleston play??" and trying to save my dignity (not that im embarrassed but also kind of) i was like yeah ? didnt tom hiddleston play in this?? to try and keep myself casual like no what im not an obsessed fan hello im So Normal about him!! i could feel my face burst into fucking flames bc how do i explain to these women that im obsessed with his work while they look at me like they know I read fanfiction (like THEY DONT. THEY DO. I KNOW THEY DO. BC THEY ALWAYS MENTION IT.)

and so then. the entire fucking department spent the day picking up whatever stupid Shakespeare book they can find and saying really loudly IS THIS A TOM HIDDLESTON PLAY?? and i guess they ALL assume now the ONLY WAY I KNOW ANY ENGLISH LITERATURE is through Tom Hiddleston.

absolutely embarrassing. but i got to keep the book so WHATEVER.

but oh my god i think a part of my pride died that day. it was REALLY FUNNY but oh my god. no i DO know english literature i JUST HAPPEN TO KNOW THAT TOM HIDDLESTON PLAYED IN A FEW OF THEM!!! leave me ALONE.

i cannot believe i had to out myself like that. no actually i dont care but its the fact that these women KNOW the sort of stuff going on out there i am 90% sure some of them HAVE WRITTEN FANFICTION BEFORE and i had to sit there and act like i didnt just finish reading the most filthy panty melting smut of some tom hiddleston character. like hello. oh my god. it was funny but also horrifying.

anyway so now the whole department knows me by association to The Tom Hiddleston Play and a) oh my fucking god but b) cant help but giggle a little if they MUST know i AM Crazy abt him and his work idc WHAT they say (they act like they dont have friday movie nights where they watch whatever play he's got.)

anyway. the end.

This is the stuff life is made of 😆❤️ I was laughing and cringing along with you omg. So funny🤣

"IS ✨THIS✨ A TOM HIDDLESTON PLAY?!" 🤣

It sounds like they were very sweet and jokey about the whole thing. And yes, fanfiction will be no biggie to them I'd bet😂

It reminded me of when I was casually explaining to my parents why exactly my football-allergic ass was going to Soccer Aid last year with @lokischambermaid - and I fumbled and said "oh, well there's an ac-torr that she and I are fans of and so you know we're just err-"

My Mum, who I have never mentioned TH too before in my puff: "Is that Tom Hiddleston?" 🤨

Me: 😵😵"...yes"

And that was all that was said about it 🤣but she knew. She has eyes. Awkward moments are so funny in hindsight. Thank you for sharing this with me🤣

[thegreymoon]

The Story of Minglan

Unbelievable where they chose to end the last episode.

What else am I supposed to do except start another one immediately? 🤬

***

Do we really need these two idiots on the scene right now?

They do seem to be hinting that Qi Heng is past his incel phase, though, so that is always a plus.

***

LMAO, of course he would run into a burning building to rescue Minglan 🤣🤣

I guess he's not past his incel phase after all, but I dislike her a whole lot so I can't even feel sorry for her for having a poor excuse for a husband.

***

Oh, thank goodness.

At least it is turned the right way.

***

LMFAO, impropriety?

What do think will happen? That he and Minglan will fuck while she's giving birth and the house around them is burning down?

Anyway, I am no huge fan of his, but go, Qi Heng, go! I don't care who saves her, as long as she's saved!

***

LMAO, seethe.

***

OMG!!!! 🎉🎉🎉

How is he big and fat, though, if he was born prematurely?

***

LMAO, this is NOT a newborn 🤣🤣

These huge, perfectly clean, not at all crinkled babies always crack me up during childbirth scenes 🤣🤣

***

This was the stupidest thing I've seen happen on this show.

First of all, her, bursting in like the deranged lunatic she is, just stabbing people left and right, and then Gu Tingye showing up yet again, to overshadow Minglan during yet another pivotal moment that should have been entirely hers. This was so unnecessary.

***

It should have been Minglan to end Aunt Kang, one way or another. I am beyond mad they took this from her to give the spotlight to Gu Tingye. This was supposed to be her CULMINATION, what we were watching her grow towards, and in the end, she was just a weak woman who needed protecting from the big strong man. So disappointing, 67 whole episodes of character development flushed down the drain.

***

LMAO, no good news for schemers and evildoers today!

I can't stop laughing at her flabbergasted face 🤣🤣

***

Didn't they say in the last episode that she had gone into labour prematurely?

They can't even keep their plot straight.

***

All else aside, this baby is the cutest!!

***

Can someone please explain to me what the hell happened here?

Didn't she set fire to the house with that lantern?

Or were there two fires, one set by her and one by Shitou as revenge? I am so confused.

***

I just rewatched this scene. So, at the very least Tingwei and his wife believe that Shitou set fire to their house too as revenge.

***

She is done with being respectful, LMAO 🤣🤣

It is time someone told these psychopaths to stop. Everyone just keeps coddling and enabling them until they burn everything down. Quite literally.

***

LMAO, she is now blaming Gu Tingye for her bad relationship with her son and his wife. Of course.

***

Oof, sweetie, that smacks of PPD 😬

Let's not go there, there are *checks notes* six more episodes to go, which means enough time for a major showdown or two, what with the Wangs still out there and pissed off, and Lady Qin losing her everloving mind just across the yard from you. You need to stay sane!

***

I mean, it's not like I don't see their point and all, but is additionally pissing off an already pissed Emperor really a good idea? 😬

It's not like they have an HR department here where they can go if their boss decides to, idk, make them a head shorter or something.

***

Welp. Here we go.

Here I was, worrying about the Wangs and the Gus, completely forgetting the dumpster fire that are these ungrateful royals.

***

The cutest 🧡

***

Delightful.

***

So, the Emperor has lost his entire goddamned mind.

***

Everybody is losing their goddamned mind this episode.

***

LMFAO

Shitou remains my favourite! 🤗

***

OH MY GOD

Invoking Aunt Kang as her witness? 😬😬 That is not going to go down the way she expects it to.

[edgessunflower]

Um I’m a pot head and i need Xfem reader where she smoking with Dom. It’s Don’s first time. 😘

Ofc! We support stoners in this house! 💚

Warm haze

Pairing: Dominik Mysterio x Fem reader

Description: Not too long after moving in together you have Dom smoke with you for the first time

Warning: Marijuana use and minor swearing

You smile hearing Dom walk through the door as you put down the joint you finished rolling putting it in the small box on the nightstand meeting him halfway in the hall. "Hey love" you hug him tightly as he kisses your forehead "Hi Mi cielo" you both walk in the bedroom sitting back down on your side of the bed as he changes, sitting next to you as an episode of Forensic Files comes on grabbing your lighter and your joint putting the end in your mouth fixing to light it when you saw Dom looking at you raising a brow as you hold the joint "Do you want to try? I don't know whether you're drug tested but". He laughs as he gently takes the joint, putting it in his mouth as you tell him what to do giggling at him coughing after taking a puff of the joint as he clears his throat "You okay? You want more?" he nods taking a small puff holding it in before coughing it out drinking water as you watch tv putting the joint in a hemostat clamp, hearing giggles looking to see dom laid next to you rubbing his eyes "You feel alright baby?" tapping his arm making him look at you, bursting out laughing when you see his eyes glassy and glazed over a light red and the goofy grin on his face "I feel really nice mi media naranja" giggling as he lays his head on your lap. You finish off the joint watching a random movie as you feel the hunger in your belly grow "Be right back I'm getting food" ordering takeout on your phone and bringing it upstairs seeing dom giggling, making you laugh as he shimmies his shoulders while eating making you laugh even more taking multiple videos of him high out of his mind sending them to the rest of the judgement day earning many different texts from the three "Oh god is he high? 😶‍🌫️" from Finn, "He looks like he is living viva la raza now hon 🤣" from Damian, and "I am literally laughing on the floor I need to be there the next time this happens! 🤣👀" from Rhea. After eating, he cuddles to your side as you put music on that helps him calm down slowly running your fingers through his hair occasionally stopping and massaging his scalp as he giggles every once and awhile until you felt his breathing even out and his heart beat a bit slower than his elevated heart beat you felt when he laid his chest against you, smiling while he slept doing things around the house sending a picture of him asleep to judgement day earning a lot of laughing emoji's while you finished laundry. You went back to bed and went to sleep for a few hours waking up to see dom watching tv "You good honey?" he turns smiling sweetly his eyes still a bit glazed but definitely not as much as earlier "I feel fucking great" you laugh as he drinks water remembering that earlier you told him to drink a good amount to help him feel better when he comes down from the high "That water good?" he pouts his lips out as you shake your head placing a kiss on his cheek as you both play gears of war on your Xbox until you both went downstairs eating dinner and answering a facetime from rhea with finn and damian behind her. "Hey Dom you still feeling viva la raza over there" he raises a brow before the three burst out laughing while you quietly giggled earning a shocked yell from dom being gently tackled down and tickled by him "You take it back bomboncita! baby why!" you laugh and scream as he tickles you while the other three laugh and yell as the two of you wrestle around on the bed until you both fall on the floor laughing "Okay we gotta go play nice now and let us know when this happens again! I wanna be there" you both wave bye hearing the phone hang up "I wanna do that again" you shake your head as you both get ready for bed and lay down "I love you bebe" squeezing his hand as he brings you to him with your back to his chest and his arm over your waist gently rubbing his thumb into your skin "I love you sweetness" falling asleep a few minutes later feeling him lightly kiss your neck before you went out.