#god fucking knows canon's not gonna give her any. not that she's even looking but it IS what she deserves u__u

[louisferrignojr]

gotta say that i disagree that nobody fights for buck. in s5 taylor said it best: buck's life is full of meaningful relationships, actually. every person of the firefam would fight for and support buck. he is and will never be alone again in his life, especially during the hard times (which they reiterated in 8x05). meanwhile, we see thus being contrasted with tommy not having any kind if support system like that. the same seemed to be the case for taylor. i know people want tommy to fight for this, and i agree that i definitely need him to check his trauma and fears to work this out with buck. but buck is the main character that has had seasons of alleged development. he died and came back, got clarity, was supposed to finally feel good in his own skin, worked out his childhood trauma with his parents in therapy, formed a support system, now discovered he is bisexual and felt free with it. and now tommy is the only one who should grovel? i get the idea but. evan buckley is the character we have seen grow and learn. i want him to put in the work as well. look at how he fought for his job when he thought he would lose it forever. THAT is what i need from him rn. if he is just giving this up with a shrug, then i don't want bucktommy in canon. we have seen tommy taking care of buck and supporting him in all his shenanigans. i need to see that buck is absolutely serious about this and ready to fight for it. if he doesn't, he still hasn't found his true love or still doesn't know what he wants in life. i am bored by this. we have been here multiple times already. do something else with evan buckley finally or just allow him to be a bachelor forever.

okay yes buck has meaningful platonic and familial relationships.

no romantic partner has fought for him. abby ghosted him because of her own issues even though she's a fucking grown ass woman, ali got a reality check and broke up with him when he was in recovery after nearly dying, which okay, fair enough. and while i believe taylor did nothing wrong in reporting the jonah story, the narrative wants us to think she prioritised her work, and she did betray buck's trust which, again, buck wanted to protect his firehouse (which is his family) so he wasn't being objective. reporters exposing scandals within govt orgs that are supposed to protect the public is not a bad thing, actually. the only time he's broken up with someone first is natalia and we were told it's because she was obsessed with his died-and-came-back experience.

and listen. i love tommy more than anything. but buck is still the main character. we're going to see buck going through the breakup, not tommy. we're not going to get much about tommy's past. we're not going to get any scenes with tommy and another character if buck isn't also there. you remember karen going to chimney and them day drinking together because they thought hen was being unfaithful (again)? i wish we could see tommy and chimney talking about their buckleys. but the way the show got rid of all minor characters and consistently treats LIs as nothing more than LIs... i'm not hopeful. we'll get one scene with tommy's Explanation and i'm not even hopeful it's gonna be well written (but i'm sure lou will be serving. god. they wrote such a shitty break up scene and he fucking ATE.)

yeah, buck fucked up by jumping the gun and asking tommy to move in with him when he couldn't even say the i love you, and i hope this will be addressed in future eps. but tommy immediately ended the relationship because he Knows Better and left buck heartbroken. this is what happened on the show. the average viewer isn't doing ten layers of analysis to understand tommy's perspective, nor should they have to. i love the metas, i'm digging into tommy's headspace in my next fix it fic, but this is still the dumb weewoo show.

i don't think tommy needs to grovel, i don't think he's the Bad Guy in this story, i have a lot of empathy for tommy and so does the GA! they're not mad at tommy, they want him back! they want bucktommy back! and i want them both to fight for each other, to apologise and admit to their fuck ups and admit how much they care about each other and that they want to be each other's forever love! i want them to say i love you!

but buck is still the protagonist in this story and i don't want to see him running back to someone who broke up with him in such a way that had him asking "wait, did you just break up with me?" because again, this is what happened on our screens. i want tommy making the first move, opening the door for reconciliation, showing that he knows he made a mistake out of fear from his past trauma, for buck to then know he is wanted, that tommy came back for him, and then put in the effort to fight for them.

hope this makes sense. and as always, for people reading this - this is not the space for you to bash on buck's previous LIs, please take it elsewhere.

[blujayonthewing]

with his campaign most likely never actually picking up felix exists only as a mental chew toy for me and as someone for mel to kiss

[ryiju-muunie]

hiiiii can i request a pregnant reader x toji where he learns sex induces labor? and the reader is like GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME and he wants to "relieve" her pain??

Fucking for two

18+ viewer discretion advised

fem!reader/Toji Zenin Warnings: pregnancy sex, pregnancy fetish/kink, breeding kink, rough sex, Toji is hung that’s canon, they’re married and in their 30s, attempted mating press but she’s like 9 months pregnant, creampie, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, fingering, breast milk kink, breast milk play, Toji's gonna suck some nipnips, dacryphilia, I'm gonna be honest this is not realistic, squirting Word count: 2820 DESC: Toji wants to relieve your pain and get off at the same time

Well anon this was an interesting experience! And some of it is not accurate like the breast milk part but we ball.

ALL EYES ON RAFAH

“Hey bitch,” Toji strolled into your shared room with a more playful expression than usual. He gave your annoyed glare a wiggle with his eyebrows, “I know how to get that baby outta you.”

You were a week late. Almost two at that point. And you had been dying to get this god-forsaken baby out of you for days. You’ve tried spicy food, yoga, or sour food. Anything you heard that might’ve made your pregnancy end. But nothing worked! So you were stuck with this large lump inside of you sucking the life force from your mind. You wanted so desperately to be free from the shackles of pregnancy so you could do certain things like bathe properly or lay on your side. So when your amazing husband suggested a way to get this baby out of you… you wanted to hear him out. 

“Hm?” You looked up from your laptop, closing it as you stared at him. God, he was such eye candy. Maybe that was the reason you stayed all through his interesting quirks. (Like gambling or drinking himself half-blind) He was hot. You couldn’t deny it. The way his muscles poked out through his tight shirt always made you clench your legs together, even if you couldn’t exactly do that right now. 

He looked over at you and smirked before answering, “We fuck.” 

You had to do a double-take. You … what? You two had been intimate during your pregnancy, giving him blowjobs and him eating you out. But you hadn’t engaged in sexual intercourse like that. You didn’t think Toji found you attractive enough to pound you like he used to. Mainly since he had been a lot more careful around you ever since you hit the third trimester; Maybe it was your hormones, but you didn’t think he could find your bloated body attractive currently.

“Toji I’m not having sex with you,” you shook your head, looking down at your closed laptop filled with anime stickers from various shows you liked. 

“I don’t wanna see you all miserable. It’s annoying,” he shrugged as you made a sour face. You knew he meant well, but Toji always had a way with words. A bad way with words.“Besides. I kinda wanna fuck a pregnant bitch.” 

You gave him a warning glare and he cleared his throat, “Pregnant woman.” 

“I… you don’t need to say all that. I know I’m not very hot right now and taking care of me is a pain in the ass. But you don’t need to force yourself to sleep with me just to get it over with…” You mumbled, looking up at him. His face contorted from a smirk to a weird look. He stared at you as if you were crazy. Like you just said the wildest thing imaginable without any warning. 

You thought … you weren’t attractive like that? You thought you weren’t attractive to him? And you thought you were making him force himself to sleep with you? Oh, you really were insane. Toji was deeply and madly in love with you, even if he didn’t exactly show it. You’ve always been hot to him, no matter what. You’ve been together for five years, of course, you’ve changed. You didn’t look like the same girl he first met at that bar and he didn’t care. He loved you no matter how big or small you were. If you were carrying his child or not. He loved you. If fucking you while pregnant was going to get rid of your agony, he’d do it in a heartbeat.

And he didn’t want to admit the other reason why he’d been dying to fuck you pregnant. He had a certain kink he’d never been able to try since you were his first wife. Once you got too big to lay on your side or even get up without help, Toji thought you wanted him to be more gentle. So he abstained from slapping your ass or grabbing you while you were fast asleep beside him. But he wanted to. 

He wanted to fuck you raw while you were pregnant with his seed. And he wanted to induce labor and have your water break all over his meaty cock. You didn’t want to see his PornHub browsing history, because, for the past nine months, it was all pregnancy porn. He couldn’t help it. Just the thought of you filled with his baby being fucked by him got him off in ways he didn’t know. 

“You’re crazy, you know that?” Toji replied after a moment of pure silence. He got onto the bed and crawled towards you, pushing your laptop to the side, “I wanna fuck a pregnant bitch. And I wanna fuck you. So … let’s fuck.” 

You blinked a few times, “Oh you have such a way with words, Zenin,” a small smile bit at your lips and you nodded, “If you aren’t forcing yourself, then sure. Is it like a fetish of yours or something?” One of your arms slung around your husband's neck and he nodded, inhaling in your scent. He didn’t care if you thought you smelt bad, he loved it. He loved how you naturally always smelt a certain way, that he could pick you out in a crowd. He rested his head against your large belly and closed his eyes briefly. 

Soon this would be gone and a baby Megumi would be born. You both decided on the more feminine name because screw gender roles! And it was the only thing you two could agree on. 

One of his big hands trailed from the top of your stomach down to the hem of your pants, sneaking past the waistband and making its way to your underwear. Your breath hitched at your lips and you felt two fingers dip into your pussy. It was a slow and methodical movement that he did, just swirling around your clit to get you all hot and bothered. His other hand trailed up to fondle your breasts. You let out a small gasp and before you knew it that hand was in your shirt. He pinched and rolled your nipple around between his fingers, just to feel you tense up beneath him. 

“Toji… remember I’m gonna…” You bit your lip and exhaled a shaky moan as you felt him continue. He moved his head up from your stomach to find its way inside your shirt as well, taking your other breast and nipple into his mouth. He let his teeth rake around your sensitive pebble and suck it just to see your reaction. You had never been one for nipple play, but after you got pregnant they had become so sensitive… just a bit of fondling never hurt.

You had forgotten what you were about to say when you felt a strange sensation come from the center of your nipples. Oh. That. You found yourself prematurely leaking colostrum or breast milk, whenever your nipples were fondled with. Toji must’ve forgotten since he went mouth-first into your chest. But he didn’t even flinch as you felt them drain into your husband's palm and mouth. Instead, you realized he was going a bit harder, sucking and pinching as if his life depended on it. 

His hand was still on your clit in a way that made you dizzy. All of it was just to prepare you for the horse he was going to force into your cunt. Toji was hung, he was massively hung. Even after five years he still needed to let you adjust to his girth by fingering you until you were wet enough to handle it. You always loved how big he was compared to your tight pussy. It made it all the more pleasurable to think about that log touching your cervix. 

One finger dipped into your wetness, quickly followed by a second, just to tease you. He pumped them in and out of you very slowly, not fast enough to cause you any release. But instead, slow enough you had a chance to savor the pleasure. He wanted to take his time with this. He wanted to relish in the fact he was fucking you so good your water would break all over him. He wanted to take a video just to show the event happen, letting all your juices flow onto his thick cock. 

“T..Toji,” you whimpered, letting your head fall back onto the headboard, “F-fuck… mm- fuck me.. Pleaaa..ssee?” You looked down at him still inside your shirt. You wanted to see his face as he fucked you from the front. You wanted him to manhandle you until you couldn’t stand, which you were beginning to think wouldn’t happen since he was taking his goddamn time with your breasts. 

Toji pulled back slowly from your sensitive nipple and pulled your shirt up, and over his head, “Whuh?” He blinked a few times, clearly getting distracted by your lovely chest. He loved the way you squirmed while he sucked and prodded at them. Even if he wasn’t a tits guy, he’d never let them feel neglected.

“Fuck me,” you blurted out, staring at him with an intense gaze. He nodded and smiled, removing his hand from your underwear. Then he delicately took off your pants, making sure not to hurt you or the baby as he pulled them off. Then came your panties, which slid right off. Both articles of clothing were tossed off the bed, followed by his pants and boxers. 

“You’re picking those up later,” you frowned, looking down to see his prize. God, he was like if Willam Defoe and Drake had a baby… So, huge. The girth was something you didn’t even think was possible for a man, but there it was. He snaked a large hand around his tip and let the precum smear across his fingers, which he moved down his shaft. You needed that throbbing member inside your cunt this instant or you didn’t know what you’d do!

Toji pressed his swollen tip against your folds and let his cock do the work. You felt yourself stretch as he slowly inserted himself, giving you time between pushes to adjust. He was perfect. The way his penis curved hit your perfect, plush spot in a way that made you instantly bite your lip. But he wasn’t done yet. One arm slowly reached for your leg and pushed it up. Well, it didn’t go entirely up, but up enough to simulate a really shitty mating press. Then came the other one. So the position was more like: Toji on his knees, slightly hunched over, with you on your back. With your two legs held up by his arms, knees slung over his elbows. If that made any sense you’re also as insane as I am. 

You let out a moan and threw your head back into the pillow behind you, as he fully inserted himself. A few seconds passed and slowly, Toji pulled back. Then he thrust forward. A noise that you hadn’t heard come out of your husband escaped his lips. It was almost like … a whimper? No-no that’s impossible, Toji would never whimper! Oh … but he did. 

“F-fuck… M’ gonna fuck this baby outta you, slut. Mmm sh…shit,” he bit his bottom lip and continued to thrust, turning it almost rhythmical. The sound of your husband's moans and dirty talk mixed with your whimpers filled the air, followed by loud plapping from your bodies. You needed this. You needed him to fuck you stupid and fuck you blind; Until you couldn’t breathe. You needed him so bad it hurt, and he needed you the same. He needed you so bad he couldn’t even put it into words to describe how badly he needed you. You were the one Toji was going to spend the rest of his life with of course he fucking loved you. And god he was already close to cumming. 

Just seeing his very pregnant wife underneath him, with your breasts full of milk and bouncing, sent him over the edge. Spurts of thick cum shot out of his tip and coated your insides perfectly in white. But of course he couldn’t stop, he needed you to release your sweet water all over him if it was the last thing he’d ever do. You gasped and clamped a hand over your mouth, trying to silence whatever nonsense was gonna come out. But it was too late. You were fucked dumb. 

“F-fuck baby… mm- sh-shit.. Mm hah.. F-f… mm … fuck me… c-c mm c-cum in me,” you whined, squeezing your eyes shut from the immense pleasure. He was hitting your g-spot and fucking it raw. You could feel yourself becoming close but it still wasn’t enough. You needed to cum so badly and you needed to cum with him. You needed to see him bite his lip to hide the pleasure-filled face he was going to make as he came again. So slowly your eyes fluttered open and you watched him through a hazy veil of lust.

Toji thrust himself into you as if there was no tomorrow. Since truly, he’d never get a pleasure like this again, unless you two planned on a second kid. He took in your chubby form and your fat belly, filled with his forming seed. He took in your face contorted with pleasure, staring at him with the biggest fuck me eyes he’d ever seen. And he came again. So quickly after cumming the first time it hurt. He gasped and leaned forward, groaning sweet nonsense as he fucked you roughly through your high. With the sensation of being filled up again you came, feeling a sweet release from your insides wash over your body. But your water hadn’t broken yet, so Toji wasn’t nearing his thrusting any time soon. 

“I’m gonna make you … you pregnant mm again,” he groaned, throwing his head back as he pounded into your swollen cunt. You bit your lip and nodded, feeling tears springing to the corners of your eyes. God, it was too much, and you felt a big release pulsating through your vagina. You felt something coming and you hoped it was gonna come soon. Everything, every inch of your body was on fire. You needed to cum so badly to the point where it stung and throbbed. 

“T-Toji…” You gasped, running a hand through your hair only to grab onto the pillow behind you, “I’m… mm f-f… mmm fuck,” you looked up to the ceiling, feeling your body twitch and convulse below you. The best kind of orgasms were the kind where you couldn’t control your body, and you knew it was building to it. 

“Yeah, cum. Fucking… cum,” Toji moaned, feeling himself on the verge of cumming again just by seeing you so overstimulated. The tears coming from your eyes and the way you cried for an orgasm to happen made him so aroused it was insane. You two needed to have sex like this more often… he’d never felt such pleasure in his life before. Yeah, your sex life was good, but this was great. Seeing you so broken and seeing you fucked stupid was something he never knew he needed. 

Then it happened. You felt a weird sensation build and then release in between your legs, followed by such an intense pleasure you almost felt faint. It rushed through your core and into your brain, causing a momentary lapse in your system. You couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t move. Yet at the same time, you were gulping down air and grinding against your husband's throbbing cock. You came, squirting down his length and crying out in a way you never had before. And your water broke, seeping through your legs and releasing in a pleasurable way you’d never experienced before. It was a different kind of feeling. A huge release followed by an even bigger sensation building up inside of you. 

Toji came at the sight of you losing full control, and he whimpered at the sight of you squirting on him. The guys a bit stupid so he couldn’t tell if it was squirt or the water … either way, he was horny and happy. He thrust a few more times into your battered pussy as you came down from your loud high. He looked down at the mess you two had made on your freshly made white sheets, then he looked at you. 

“Do you … have the baby bag ready?” You mumbled, looking up at the ceiling with a hazy expression. Oh yeah, you were completely out of it. 

“Yeah, why?” Toji asked, pulling himself out of you and groaning at the pleasurable yet sensitive sensation. 

“T… Toji. My water just broke,” you glanced at him and blinked a few times. 

“Yeah I know,” he rolled his eyes before stopping, “Oh. Shit.”

[11queensupreme11]

Can I ask if Percy can at least put up a fight vs the ror!gods? Like can she at least last a minute or so? 😭✊

ok ok this is gonna be a sorta long and sorta detailed post cuz i don't wanna have to answer any more "percy feats vs ror character feats" asks again (and i also should probably post this on the actual fic too to inform my readers for later arcs buuuuuuut maybe later, i'm too lazy rn lol)

(ALSO credit goes to various reddit posts cuz i didn't wanna personally scour through the manga looking for feats!!!)

percy is physically the weakest/slowest person in ror verse (against the main characters i mean). notice how i say PHYSICALLY. power-wise (as in her water manipulation, etc.), she could definitely take on the human characters (maybe not adam tho)

as i have said before, most book characters cannot trump anime characters from shonens/seinins when it comes to physical feats. shonens and seinens love going above and beyond in making characters physically op.

the pjo verse is very similar to our universe/the Real World in terms of physicality. the pjo humans are very average just like us and while the demigods are more enhanced than that, they are still nothing compared to ror characters. in the ror verse, the human physical potential is faaaaaar higher than the humans AND demigods of the pjo verse.

animes just Be Like That, okay??? it's like sending harry potter characters into sakamoto days. yeah hp characters have magic and sakadays characters have no powers, but they got an old man that can slice through a whole building with one swing of his sword (takamura), a dude that can one-inch punch a hole through people's bodies (gaku), and a dude who moves insanely fast (kindaka); they don't stand a fucking chance 💀💀💀💀💀

so percy, unfortunately, cannot stand a chance against even the ror humans if she's not using any of her powers. if she's sticking solely to her physical abilities (sword-fighting, hand-to-hand, etc. NO powers), she's FUCKED.

and as i have said before, the whole "oh but she carried the sky" thing is not a feat for her physical strength. if she was actually that strong, she would've just become the One Punch Man of the pjo verse and one-shotted every other enemy after that. there is a CURSE on atlas' punishment:

^percy is a hero, that is why she was able to carry the skies, not because she's super fucking jacked 💀

the ror HUMANS alone have the most insane fucking physical feats that percy (or any demigod in the pjo verse) could never even dream to accomplish (sorry my children 😔):

when lu bu was still alive, he was able to split open the skies with a single swing of his spear:

leonidas destroyed the arena grounds with a swing of his arm:

raiden ripping off poor shiva's arms with his bare hands (and his volundr didn't give him enhanced strength either, all thrud did was help him control his muscles; this strength is solely his):

dadam is insanely fucking fast; and he was able to surpass a move that could surpass time:

i could go on and on about the ror humans, but i'm gonna move on to the gods!

as i've stated before, i HATEDDDDDDD how the gods were in the manga. they were more like superhumans!!!! they weren't godlike at all!!!! so i gave them a boost in powers for my fic so they would actually be godlike!!!! if percy can't even beat any of the ror humans in a physical fight, she absolutely does not stand a chance against ANY of the ror gods in a physical fight!!!!!!! or even a fight with her powers! because again, she is a demigod and they are GODS.

(tbh, even if i kept the gods as canon, she still wouldn't be able to beat them because their physical feats are ALSO insane 💀)

but is percy 1000000% fucked???? no. she still has ONE good shit in her arsenal that the ror humans and gods don't have: the curse of achilles. she 99.99% untouchable. she cannot be hurt by them unless their attacks hit her mortal spot, but only three people (loki, beel, and mnemosyne) know of that mortal spot and they're not keen on telling anyone about it or the curse

yes, the characters will absolutely throw her around like a fucking ragdoll (😭) but as long as her mortal spot is untouched, she will live!!!! (she'll be really fucking embarrassed tho, but she'll live!)

she also has insane fucking powers that the humans DON'T have:

AND i am also boosting her by giving her some limited blood/ichor manipulation (again, blood manipulation is not canon; this is a fanon thing that i THOUGHT was canon because many other ppl said it was canon, but it's really not 😔)

she is also insanely smart when it comes to battle IQ and strategizing and the best part is that people underestimate her cuz they either think she's dumb af (beel and loki) or that she's just a baby (poseidon, hades, zeus, shiva, adamas, literally fucking everyone else) or BOTH (cú chulainn 💀)

and another thing that i don't really count as a "pro" but i'm putting it in here anyway: no god is gonna wanna hurt her anyway 💀 she's very widely loved by the pantheons, they wouldn't wanna hurt her cuz they love her (romantically and platonically). same with humans, they're not gonna wanna fight her for the same reason 💖

I WILL ALSO BE GIVING HER A LIL SOMETHING EXTRA THAT YOU'LL LEARN ABOUT IN ACT 2!!!! IT'S GONNA REALLY HELP HER!!! BUT I WON'T SAY WHAT HEHE

so in conclusion:

percy absolutely does not stand a chance against a fight with any god even with her powers; she can last a decent amount of time, but she WILL lose

percy will 100% lose against the ror humans in a PHYSICAL fight (and by ror humans, i mean the ror human fighters ofc. the regular humans she could obviously beat cuz they're just regular humans)

percy has a good chance of winning against some of the humans in a fight with her powers (but she will 10000% lose against adam cuz it's adam 💀)

[training4theapocalypse]

And they call me crazy (Adrian Chase x fem!reader)

Rating: Explicit - 18+ only

Word Count: 5.8k

Warnings: SMUT, Rough sex, Non-con elements - reader is drunk and a (very eager to fuck) hostage, Light bondage, Oral, P in V, Unprotected sex, Edging, Canon typical mentions of murder and violence

Summary: You're a new intern at Senator Goff's office. It's going great... that is until Vigilante abducts you after you've been out drinking, celebrating the end of your first week. (Based on this ask from anon.)

A/N: I'm fucking impatient as usual and I couldn't wait until Sunday to post this. I've added non-con to the warnings but honestly, reader is so desperate to fuck him she DOESN'T GIVE AF if it's morally questionable that she's a hostage.

Masterlist

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Chapter text:

Your gasp is stifled when a black glove covers your mouth and an arm wraps tight around your body. You stumble on the sidewalk, teetering back in your high heels into your assailant’s body but he holds you firmly upright.

“Don’t scream,” says a man’s muffled whisper in your ear.

Your whole body freezes up. God, you wish you were more sober. Why did you insist on walking home after those celebratory drinks? This is not the perfect ending to the first week of your internship that you’d envisioned. Is this why Senator Goff didn’t turn up for work today? They said he was sick.

“I’m not gonna hurt you if you keep quiet and get in the car.”

It’s a man’s voice. Not one you recognise. But you can barely hear it anyway over how loudly your heart is beating in your chest. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, it seems to say, battering frantically against your rib cage.

“Nod if you understand me.”

You jerk your head forward - his tight grip doesn’t make the movement easy. 

God, why didn’t you listen to your Mom? She told you earlier to get a cab home and stay safe, you’d just dismissed her advice as usual because you knew best.

He removes his hand and pushes you into the open passenger door of a beat-up old Chrysler Sebring. It all happens so fast that you don’t even think to check out the license plate. 

Shit.

The man shuts the passenger door after you and hops into the driver’s seat on the other side. 

It’s him. 

You’ve seen his masked face on the news, wanted for carrying out his own brand of retributive justice on criminals across Evergreen. You heard people talking about his latest crimes at work today. Hell, you’ve even made stupid memes about having a crush on him in your girlfriend’s group chat. 

It’s Vigilante.

You were ready to beg for your life a second ago. But now all you can do is stare. At the forefront of your admittedly inebriated mind is the fact that you’ve fantasised about the masked Vigilante of Evergreen before. But in your fantasies, you’d always been someone that he’d saved from a robbery gone wrong or some other sticky situation. Not his abductee.

And this is no fantasy. He’s here - he’s real. So intimidatingly tangible and human. You can hear his breathing through his mask, see his eyes darting around your dark surroundings checking for passersby, and you can even smell the sharp, fresh scent of his cologne when he gets close to you, reaching behind you to grab a length of rope from the back seat. 

“Put your hands out.” You swallow thickly, looking at his masked face. There’s no point in arguing. “If you make any indication to anyone we pass that you’re you’re here against your will, I will kill you.”

“Listen, I don’t know what you think I’ve done but I-”

“Hey - don’t make me gag you and put you in the trunk,” he says, finishing the knot around your wrists as your stomach does a little flip. Not out of fear. Something else. He turns his keys and starts the ignition. “Oooh, seatbelt! Sorry.”

You breathe in as he reaches across you to grab your seatbelt and clip you in. Your hands sit uncomfortably on your lap as the car drives out of the dark street and onto the main road.

He pulls out his cell phone as he drives to wherever you’re going and you hear the other end of the phone ringing in the silent car.

“What is it?” You strain your ears, listening as a woman answers aggressively.

“I’ve got Goff’s assistant. I’m on my way to the video store.”

Goff’s assistant? That’s a stretch. You’re an intern. And not even Goff’s intern. You’re his assistant’s intern.

“I’m not-” you start but he cuts you off.

“Quiet!”

“What?!” says the woman on the phone.

“Sorry, Harcourt. Not you.”

“No, I mean you did what?! Vigilante, you need to run this shit by me. You can’t bring her here.”

“I did you a favour! We’re way ahead of schedule now.”

You hear the unidentified woman grumble. “We’ve got Judomaster here, dumbass. Take her someplace else.”

Goff’s funny little bodyguard. Now you know that Vigilante and the woman on the phone are responsible for Goff’s absence. Shit, what’s he going to do when he realises you know nothing?

“Where am I supposed to take her?”

“That’s what happens when you go rogue, idiot. We’ll talk about this tomorrow. She’s your problem tonight.”

You hear the line beeping as the woman hangs up.

“Fuck!” says Vigilante and he does a U-turn. “Hey, close your eyes.”

“Why?”

“I’m gonna have to take you to my place. I said close your eyes or-”

“Yeah, you’ll kill me. I got it,” you say resignedly. You close your eyes feeling the car turn left, straight for a while, right, left… you lose track. You have no idea where you are or how long it takes you to get there when finally you arrive at your destination.

You hear him get out of the car and still not daring to open your eyes, you feel the cool night air when the passenger door opens.

“Can I open my eyes?”

“Nope.”

You feel him reach over you to unclip your seatbelt and he hoists you out of the car by your upper arm. He roughly steers you across what you guess is a parking lot by the way your high heels click on the asphalt.

His vice-like grip on your arm still doesn’t relent, even when you reach the stairs.

“Not so fast - I can’t see!” And you’re still kind of drunk.

“Shh! Not here,” he whispers urgently. But his hold on you becomes more gentle as he helps you up the stairs, more slowly now. A sliver of empathy. 

The sound of keys jingle as he unlocks a door and guides you inside. You hear him locking and bolting the door behind you. Great. 

“Can I-”

“Yeah, you can open ‘em.”

You open your eyes. The small apartment is sparsely furnished, obviously decorated by a single man. No artwork on his walls, a small dining table, a clean but worn leather couch without even so much as a throw pillow.

The screech of wood on laminate makes your arm hair stand up as he pulls over a hard wooden chair into the middle of the living room.

“Sit.”

You do as you’re told. He pulls another chair over and sits down opposite you, leaning back, with his arm resting on the back of the chair. Vigilante’s intimidating form relaxes casually in front of you. 

“We can do this the easy way or the hard way,” he tells you.

“I - do what the easy way?” You shift in your seat, squeezing your thighs together. What wouldn’t you want Vigilante to do you right now? Stop it, you scold yourself. 

“You’ve got information and I need it.”

“I really don’t have any sort of information.” 

He edges his seat closer to you, close enough that you can smell his cologne again. Fuck. “Hey, I get it. I was tortured for intel a few days ago and I didn’t crack either-”

“Torture?!” You panic now. “Look, I’m not lying - I’m not Goff’s assistant! If I knew anything I’d tell you.”

His eyes narrow behind the mask. He pulls out his phone, looking through it for something. “Shit.” Vigilante looks from his phone to you. “This isn’t you.” He holds up the screen and shows you a blurry picture of your boss walking out of the office. Sure you look alike - you have the same hair colour and both wear suits to work but she’s significantly older. 

You shake your head. 

“What were you doing coming out of the senator’s office?” He accuses, as if it’s your fault he’s kidnapped you.

“I’m an intern. It’s my first week.”

“So you work there? Right?” he asks desperately.

“I just get coffee and take notes, dude.”

He tilts his head back, staring at the ceiling. “Oh man, Harcourt’s gonna freak out when I tell her I fucked up again. I can’t believe I picked up the wrong hostage.”

You sit, wrists still tied together in your lap staring at him. Now what? Maybe he’ll just drop you off outside the bar where the grabbed you.

“Look, we all make mistakes. It happens to the best of us. No harm done so-”

“Stop.” He looks up at you. “You know I can’t let you go.”

You take a deep breath and look at him silently for a few seconds. “So now what? Are you gonna kill me?”

“I-”

‘I’m a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world. Life in plastic, it’s fantastic’

Vigilante looks at his phone, apparently confused that it isn’t the source of the music. 

“It’s mine,” you sigh, embarrassed by your choice of ringtone. You try to pick your phone out of your suit pocket with tied wrists. 

“Your ringtone is Barbie Girl?” 

You nod.

He pauses, giving you an unreadable look from behind his mask before reaching into your suit pocket. “I can’t let you have this.” He declines the call. Your phone pings as a message arrives. “Someone called Melanie says ‘Your boyfriend is on the news again’,” he reads.

Fuck. Your best friend Melanie knows all about your stupid crush on the man sitting in front of you right now.

“Hey- don’t read my messages!”

“I need to know if your boyfriend is gonna come looking for you.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend, I swear. She’s just making a stupid joke.” 

Your phone pings again. “She’s sent you a picture - what’s your passcode?”

“I said don’t read my messages. I’m not telling you my passcode.”

Vigilante sighs and turns your phone around to face you and your Face ID unlocks it. He freezes when he opens the image.

Oh, god.

He turns the phone back towards you again and you groan. Melanie has taken a picture of the news on her TV. Vigilante is on the screen. Shit. 

“I told you, it was just a stupid joke,” you mumble, feeling your face turning scarlet. 

“I didn’t realise you were a fan,” he says, and you can tell from the tone of his voice that he has a stupid grin under his mask. 

“Well, I’m definitely not a fan right now.” You hold up your wrists. 

“She can see you’ve opened it. What should I say back?”

“Hmm... say LOL…” He starts typing. “Call the police. I’m being held hostage.”

He deletes what he just typed and gives you a stern look. “Fine, I’ll just go through your messages and see what you said before.”

“No, wait! I was kidding!” You try to snatch the phone from his hands but his reflexes are too quick for your tied hands. He doesn’t have to scroll very far back through your messages to find what he’s looking for.

Vigilante laughs and starts reading aloud. “OMG, he is so fine… I’m just gonna say that again.” He sends the message and you hear the notification of Melanie responding almost immediately. He reads it aloud. “She says ‘Knew you’d appreciate it - wink emoji’.”

“Can you just kill me already?” you ask sarcastically.

He puts your phone in his pocket. “I’m not gonna kill you.”

“So what am I doing here then?”

“Waiting. For now.” You stare at each other for a few seconds. It’s hard not to feel like you’re in immediate danger. “Do you want a beer?”

Perhaps your life isn’t in danger.

You blink at him incredulously. He walks over to the refrigerator and returns with two beers. He opens yours and hands it to you.

“Can you untie me so I can drink it?” You ask, testing the waters.

“Are you gonna try and attack me and escape?”

You’ve never been in a fight in your entire life. There’s no way you’d be able to win in a physical altercation with him, not with his reputation for massacring criminal gangs.

“No.”

Vigilante looks you over, and you stare up at him, waiting for his assessment. “I could take you, anyway,” he says casually and puts down his beer on the coffee table so he can untie your wrists.

You feel yourself blushing again at his words. Vigilante could take you. He means in a fight. But your mind immediately thinks of him taking you in another way.

When he unties you, you rub your wrists, feeling the sweet relief of having them free again. Vigilante kicks back on the couch and gestures to the seat next to him. You move over and perch uncertainly on the cool leather. He lifts the bottle of beer, and then realising he’d need to remove his mask to drink it, puts it back down.

“You can take it off if you want,” you suggest. 

“And let you see my face? No way. I have a secret identity.”

“Well, I bet you’re handsome under there.” 

What are you doing? 

The sensible voice at the back of your mind supposes that flirting with him might convince him to free you. Another slightly louder, drunker voice in your head suggests that flirting with him might convince him to fuck you. 

He looks away, flustered. “I dunno about that...” 

“That’s why you wear that mask, right? You’re probably so good-looking you’d be easy to spot in a line-up.”

He lifts the edge of his mask - you think for a second he’s about to reveal who he is but instead, he takes a long drink of beer. You watch his sharp jaw and exposed neck as he swallows and get a brief glance at his wet lips before he pulls the fabric back down over his face again.

“That mask doesn’t do you any favours, hiding a jawline like that.”

“Stop it, okay. I know what you’re doing.” You raise your eyebrows. “You think because you’re pretty, you can seduce me into letting you go. It’s not gonna work.”

Pretty. 

You try not to smile, to keep your expression blank. You wish you could text Melanie - she’d lose her shit right now. But you’ve laid it on a bit too thick. Even though it is true - he does have a ridiculously nice lower half of his face.

“I’m just passing the time. Believe it or not, I’ve never been abducted before.” You shrug. “So what’s the plan? Stay here until your boss on the phone tells you to kill me in the morning?”

“She’s not my boss.”

“Sounds like she is.”

“I work alone. Mostly. Or with Peacemaker.”

“So let me go then. I won’t tell a soul. I promise.”

“It’s not that simple. I can’t just release a hostage.”

You think. Hard. “What if I could get you the information you need? Then I’m an accomplice. Not a hostage.”

“I thought you just got the coffee?”

“I know where my boss keeps her laptop. And her password.”

“What kind of boss tells a brand new intern her password?”

You purse your lips, wondering how much you can safely reveal to him. “She trusts me.” 

“The way you want me to trust you?”

“It’s different… I just don’t want her to get kidnapped too.”

He tilts his head. “That could work.” He hesitates. “But I’ll need to double-check with Harcourt in the morning.” He spins his bottle of beer in his hands.

“I’ll give you the laptop’s location and password if you let me see your face.”

“Uh, no. You’re giving me the location and password in exchange for letting you go.”

“This is a hostage negotiation, right?” You give him a coy smile. “Let the hostage do some negotiating.”

“No way.” He lifts the bottom of his mask up again to take another drink.

“What if I suck your dick, will you show me your face?”

Vigilante chokes on his beer.

“Jeez! I’ve already told you that you can stop coming onto me. I’ve agreed to ask Harcourt to let you go.”

“I know. I’m just shooting my shot,” you smile, resting the beer bottle on your bottom lip. “Can’t blame a girl for trying.”

“Yeah, right.” He says though you can’t help but notice the way his visor-covered eyes linger on your lips.

“Dude, you saw my messages. I’ve always wanted to bump i​​nto Vigilante. Under different circumstances, obviously.”

This intrigues him. He turns in his seat, resting on the arm of the couch to face you. “Uh, what kind of circumstances?”

“Well, if you really want to know - they’re in my texts with Melanie.”

He looks at your phone again, opens your messages and starts scrolling up. His eyes widen as he pauses, reading. “Damn…”

“Which one are you reading?”

“There’s more than one?!” His voice is higher pitched this time and you grin. “Uh… ‘I wish we’d bumped into Vigilante when those guys were harassing us leaving the club last night. He would have kicked their asses and I would have-’... Holy shit.”

He adjusts himself in his seat and you can tell he’s hard just from reading your text exchange. You tilt your beer towards him encouragingly. “You can say it.”

“...‘I would have sucked the fucking soul from his body.’ Girls say this kind of shit to each other?”

You sip your drink and say nothing.

Vigilante looks at you like you’re a piece of cake he really, really shouldn’t be thinking about eating. “It would be morally wrong for me to sleep with a hostage.” He looks into your eyes.

You edge closer to him on the couch. “Accomplice, remember? I’m not a hostage if I work with you, right?”

“Listen, you are so hot. And if I met you in real life… fuck. It would be a different story.”

“This is real life.”

“You know what I mean.”

You get on your knees and crawl over to him between his legs. He shrinks back into the corner of the couch cushions. “C’mon. I won’t tell your boss.”

He swallows nervously. “You’re making it really hard for me to say no right now.”

You run your fingers over his belt. “Say you don’t want me to and I’ll stop.” Vigilante groans. You crawl forward again and press your forehead against his masked one, looking into his visor. “Tell me you don’t want me to suck your dick,” you whisper.

“Fuck…” He breathes. “And they call me crazy.”

“Maybe you should be more careful who you let in your car.” 

His gloved hand grabs your wrist and for a second you think he’s going to make you stop but instead, he guides your hand onto the bulge through the fabric of his pants. Vigilante leans his head back, exposing a tiny glimpse of his neck between his mask and his suit. Your tongue finds the skin there, sliding across it and you feel him shiver underneath you.

It’s like he’s at your mercy now as you slowly, agonisingly slowly, undo his belt revealing the v-shape of his lower abdominal muscles covered in a smattering of brown hair. You slide your body down between his legs and kiss the trail of hair below his belly button while your hands work, unzipping his pants and pulling his boxers down.

Vigilante’s cock slaps his stomach when you release it from his boxers. Shit, you have a lot to work with. You’re already wet between your legs just from your conversation but the sight of him sprawled out in front of you - his entire body concealed with the exception of his hard cock - sends blood rushing to your pussy.

You lick your lips and the moment your tongue slides across his head, you feel his whole body tremble. 

“Holy shit,” Vigilante whispers raggedly from behind his mask. He lifts his head to watch as his length disappears into your mouth, and you look up at him with wide eyes and hollow cheeks, sucking and running your tongue along the underside of his cock. 

He grunts as you pull back to run your tongue slowly around his head again. His reaction makes your pussy ache with longing, thinking about how he’d sound with his mask off, moaning like that in your ear.

“Fuck, that’s it. Thaat’s it,” he says through gritted teeth as you find a rhythm, bobbing your head up and down. He threads his gloved hands through your hair - you think he’s going to start fucking your throat but you’re surprised when he doesn’t apply any force, letting you maintain your pace. Vigilante watches you on all fours, your ass in the air behind you as your mouth makes the wettest, sloppiest sucking sounds he’s ever heard.

Then he sees it. A glimpse of your hand under your tailored work skirt, confirming to him again that this isn’t just a ploy for early release. You’re really fucking turned on by being here, sucking his cock.

“Wait…” he whines, tugging gently at the base of your scalp. You pull back, replacing your mouth with your other hand so you can look at him. “Can I fuck you?”

You pull away and bite your lip, still pumping your hand up and down the length of his cock.

“You said you’d show me your face.” Time for your one last bargaining chip.

“I…” He hesitates, propping himself up on his elbows. “I can’t,” he pleads.

“You’ll have to cum here on your stomach then,” you grin, your wet fist picking up pace as he tenses his thighs and tries to stop his hips from jerking up into you. “If you show me your face I’ll let you cum inside me.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” he groans. You stop jerking him off and watch him as he pulls his mask off, tossing it aside on the coffee table. He takes a pair of glasses out of his pocket and puts them on.

You stare at him in shock. You were mostly just teasing him earlier- you hadn’t actually expected him to be this good-looking. Sure, you knew from him drinking his beer earlier that he had a nice jawline. But even in your fantasies, he was faceless - he never had gorgeous green eyes and tousled curly hair.

“You’re hot?” You blurt out before you can stop yourself. “What the fuck!?”

He smiles. And you can see it this time. It’s beautiful. He has dimples.

The intimidation you felt before when you first saw the masked killer in front of you is nothing compared to how you feel now. You practically melt, turning into putty. Feeling lightheaded you realise you’ve been holding your breath and begin making a conscious effort to breathe again. Seconds ago you were convinced he was at your mercy but now…

“Do whatever you want to me,” you say abruptly. Your underwear is flooded thinking that this man, this ridiculously beautiful killer wants to fuck you.

“Oh… I’m gonna.” He raises his eyebrows and lunges forward, pinning you to the couch and kissing your neck. His rough exterior armour digs into your chest. Your hands wander along his shoulders, trying to find the mechanism to unclip it. He feels your movements and pushes himself off of you so he can undo them himself.

You lie back, watching him remove his suit, revealing a host of white scars and purplish-yellow welts across his toned chest and abdomen. You undo the top two buttons of your blouse. 

“Nuh-uh,” he says, tossing his under armour onto the floor. You let out a yelp of surprise when he grabs the opening of your shirt and rips it open, sending buttons scattering across his floor. He pushes your bra up, not bothering to take it off to suck on your tits. 

You run your fingers through his curly hair, feeling him sloppily run his tongue over your nipple. His teeth clamp down on your breast - hard - and you squeal and yank his hair.

“Ow! Not so rough!” 

He just gives you a mischievous smirk and you release your grip when he sucks the spot gently, in a sort of silent apology. It’s definitely going to leave a bruise tomorrow - a secret souvenir of your night with the masked man from the news all your friends know you have a crush on.

But Christ, what have you let yourself in for?

Vigilante moves down your body, kissing your stomach and pulling off your skirt and underwear in a single movement, throwing them haphazardly on the floor. You gasp when his mouth returns to your body and a soft, wet heat envelopes your pussy. He drags his tongue slowly, carefully along your slit.

“Oh fuck…” you whine, arching your back. “Vigilante, I- wait, fuck, what do I call you?”

“Vigilante,” he says between achingly slow licks. Every nerve ending seems to light up, sending blissful signals to your brain.

“No, I - I mean what’s your name?”

“Vigilante.” 

God damn.

You look down and lock eyes with him, his pupils blown so wide his green eyes almost look black as he stares up at you, swirling his tongue in wide circles against your swollen clit. The entire lower half of your body tightens up and the walls of your pussy clench, desperate for something to squeeze around. His fingers, his cock - anything. 

You reach down to find his large, gloved hand and tug at the fabric, trying to pull it off him. 

He pulls his mouth back and removes his glove with his teeth.

“Is this what you want, baby?” He asks, running a single finger through your slick, wet folds and over your clit.

You nod.

“Beg for it.”

“Please, Vigilante.” 

He sinks two fingers deep in your cunt. 

“Is this what you fantasise about?” His questioning makes you tighten around his fingers as he draws them in and out of you. Your breathing quickens in time with his fingers pressing against that sweet spot deep inside your pelvis.

He stops abruptly and the whine that escapes you is pathetic.

“Answer me.”

“Y-yes,” you moan. “Every night.” You wriggle, trying to fuck yourself on his stationary fingers.

“Finger fucking yourself like this?” He curls his fingers up into you again.

“Mhmm.”

“Use your words.”

“Yes, fuck, just like… like this.” You bring your hand to your clit and start rubbing yourself in an obscene demonstration for him as he watches from his kneeling position, one hand between your thighs.

You’re close now, you can feel your orgasm burning up inside you as your cunt starts pulsing more consistently around his digits and your breathing gets heavier. Just as your release is about to crash over you, he withdraws his hand and grabs your wrist, moving your hand away from your clit.

“Wha-?” You pant dazedly. “I was just about to-”

“I know,” he smirks. “Not yet.”

Fuck. He’s fucking edging you.

His lips meet yours for the first time and you moan softly into his mouth. His tongue rolls against yours and you can still taste your sweet and salty juices on him.

Then, without warning, he flips you over and you gasp wordlessly face down on the leather couch in stunned silence. He pulls your hips back and up towards him.

“Fuck, Vigilante,” you choke, lifting your head up and arching your back, your brain working hard to regain awareness of its surroundings. 

The weight of his body presses down on top of you as he leans down to whisper in your ear.

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard, you’re gonna forget my face in a line-up.”

Fuck.

He takes his cock and drags it over your soaking wet entrance, flushed and swollen for him and the broken sob that escapes you is desperate.

“Please,” you beg again. “Just let me cum.”

Vigilante sinks into you with a forceful jerk of his hips and your pussy seizes up tight around him as your face is forced onto the cold leather again. You try and push yourself up onto all fours.

“Nuh-uh, I like seeing you like this,” he says with another forceful thrust, knocking you off balance. “Hands behind your back.” You huff and do what he says, his still-gloved hand pinning your wrists behind you. “I shoulda just kept you tied up, huh?”

You can’t answer, you can’t move, you can’t do anything except just take him. Sparks of electricity reignite inside you, the deepest you’ve ever felt it as he pounds into you, hitting just that right spot again. You turn your head to look at him over your shoulder and when you see Vigilante biting his lip in concentration your walls start pulsing and squeezing around his cock.

“Not… yet.” He grunts. “Not ‘til I say.”

He pushes down on your wrists and it feels like all the air is being knocked from your lungs with every roll of his hips. 

“Fuck, you’re such a… pretty… little… hostage,” he groans through gritted teeth, each thrust punctuated by his praise. 

“Yes…” you whine because it’s all you can manage to say. It’s all you can think. That one singular confirmation repeating over and over again in your head - it’s all you want to be for him. Fuck, you’d happily spend the rest of your life locked in his apartment, letting him use you like this every time he came home after a night of murdering criminals.

Your eyes roll back in your head, fireworks rocketing and exploding into a million bright pieces. If there’s a heaven, it would look like this - a beaten-up leather couch in a shitty apartment in downtown Evergreen.

His other hand that’s free of his glove and not pinning you down reaches round and starts working your clit with rough, calloused fingertips. You squeeze your eyes shut, not realising they’ve been watering. Real tears leak from the corners, leaving your face a wet mess on the leather seat. You choke out a sob, not sure how much longer you can fight against your orgasm.

“Shh, shhh… it’s okay, baby. You can cum. Let it all out for me.”

And you do.

Everything goes dark and you’re lost in the pleasure that takes over your body, your climax wiping your mind blank of all thoughts except Vigilante. Your pussy clamps down hard like a vice around his cock as you squirm on his fingers. It’s only when you feel him shudder and collapse on top of you that you realise he’s come undone too.

You both lie there for a second, feeling the warmth of your combined mess leaking out and the sound of him panting, exhausted.

“Vigilante…” you say in a strained voice, breaking the silence.

“Yeah?” he exhales and takes another gulp of air.

“You’re crushing me.”

“Oh.” He hoists himself off of you. “Let me get you a towel.”

With difficulty, you sit back upright to wipe your eyes and fix your hair. Vigilante returns with a towel and you sit on it, grateful for the barrier between you and the wet, sticky couch cushion.

He throws himself back down beside you. “Whoo, I’m beat!” he says cheerfully. “What do you wanna do now?”

You look at him uncertainly and glance at your watch. “It’s one in the morning.”

“Right, cool. Do you wanna sleep on the couch or-”

‘I’m a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world. Life in plastic, it’s fantastic’

Who’s phoning you this late? 

He picks up both of your phones from the coffee table. “It’s mine,” he says and accepts the call. “Hello?”

Wait - his ringtone is Barbie Girl too?

“It’s me,” says the same voice of the woman who called him earlier. “Have you dealt with the hostage yet?”

Vigilante looks at you and hesitates. He swallows. “Yeah. It’s done.”

“So she accepted the bribe? You’ve got the laptop?”

His eyes widen. “The bribe? Oh! Yeah, sure! The bribe...”

“Vij, you didn’t kill her, did you?”

“What?” He lets out a maniacal laugh. “You’re crazy, Harcourt, of course I didn’t kill her. What’s the, uh, budget again?” He winks at you and makes an ‘ok’ sign with his thumb and forefinger. He’s insane, you think.

“I dunno, like five grand?”

“Phew! Then yes, it is all dealt with. Done and dusted. I will get that laptop.”

“You don’t have the laptop yet!? Vigilante, you need to get the laptop before you hand over the money, idiot.”

“Copy that,” he grins.

“Vigilante, what the f-”

He hangs up, cutting her off and tosses his phone aside.

“Good news. I can let you go once you give me the laptop.”

“And the five grand?” You raise your eyebrows.

“Wait, you heard that?!”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Well not until you give me the laptop.”

“I can get it tonight if you need it? We just need to swing by my boss’s house before you drop me off.”

He frowns. “Oh. Right. Yeah, of course. I need to… need to take you home.”

You tilt your head to one side and look at him fondly. You fix his messy curls and he closes his eyes at your touch. “Or… I could stay here tonight? Pick up the laptop tomorrow morning once you’ve fixed me some breakfast?”

He perks up. “I could do that! …You’re one hundred per cent sure you can get it though, right?”

You sigh and extend your hand. “Give me my phone.” He does and watches you go through your contacts.

The line rings and a familiar but slightly croaky voice answers.

“Honey, it’s one in the morning. Is everything alright? Did you get home okay?”

“Hey Mom, I’m fine. Listen, I think I forgot to send an email before I left the office and I can’t sleep worrying about it. Can I pick up your laptop first thing tomorrow?”

She yawns. “Sure thing. Don’t get stressed about it. Just go get some sleep.”

“Thanks, boss. I love you.”

“Goodnight sweetie. I love you too.”

You grin as Vigilante gapes at you.

“Goff’s assistant… she’s your-?”

“Yup. Now c’mon, show me where your bedroom is.” You stand up and reach your hands out, waiting for him to guide you. You step on one of your shirt buttons as he leads you towards the hallway. “You owe me a new shirt, by the way.”

“I just made you five grand. Use that to buy a new shirt,” he says, opening the bedroom door.

“Hey, what happened to the hostage negotiation? These are the terms of my release.”

“Oh, you’re not going anywhere,” he smirks, shutting the door behind you.

[watchyourbuck]

Oh god okay here we go

Why must I go into heavy detail you ask? Well, I am actually unable to shut up so here it is them 10 TOP “there’s no chance this is a straight friendship” MOMENTS

“You can have my back any day” aka the enemies to lovers speedrun. The immediate feeling we’re supposed to get from the screen is jealousy. Buck is jealous of the new recruit because he’s hot, a medic, a veteran, whatever. I’ll give it to you children, he WAS jealous. But then they go on call and they get into immediate danger bc 911 is a drama and then Eddie’s very keen on being Buck’s partner. Nothing queer til then right? WRONG. Eddie’s line is pretty normal but the way Buck reacts isn’t. I have had my fair share of “huh this person I didn’t like is actually cool” moments but nEVER have I once sucked in a breath, forgot how to blink, rushed in my words OR stared at said person like I’d like for them to be my lover. Three points to Gayfindor.

“Is your son REALLY the reason you don’t date?” This line and the dialogue that follows makes absolutely no sense from the non-queer glass. Alright he asks bc he wants to know why two girls practically launched themselves at him and he declined (such a kind offer lmao) but… why are you standing so close? Why do you bump shoulders with him as you walk? Most importantly, what the FUCK does Eddie’s smirk mean after “they’re not my type either… not anymore.” Idk about you guys but when I’m not on the market I’m actually not in it 😀 and I don’t go around looking at my best friend like I’d consider fucking her (I’m actually kinda yikes about that thought bc she’s like my sister). Bottom line is: if you’re willing to fuck your best friend, there’s attraction. That scenes oozes attraction and I’d be willing to white glove challenge a body language reader.

The Tsunami. YES okay, there are far many moments in between but I also need to make this a somewhat readable list so here we go. We’re gonna pretend for a hot second Buck wants to save his best friend’s son, and not the child that he considers his own bc I’m tired. Let’s skip to the far end of this (be GrAtEfuL I’m skipping the whole sacrifice that this episode entailed. Buck was willing to die, to never sit down again if it meant looking for Chris [& the utter fear he has to face Eddie]. It’s a lot). Now, I do not OWN a child (thank god) but if I did, I wouldn’t be particularly comfortable with a simple friend from work taking care of them. They could be my very best friend from work and I’d still feel a little icky -at least nervous- about it. Yet Eddie not only takes Christopher back A F T E R the tsunami (Chris could’ve died and Eddie is nothing short of apprehensive), but he says ‘there’s no one I trust with my son more than you’. Um. Not his wife. Not his family (CHRIS’ family), not Abuela, not Tia Pepa. Buck. Who he… just met? Surely it isn’t bc he’s uncle buck… I don’t believe even Maddie has said that to Buck, where he’s actually, yknow, UNCLE BUCK. Co-parenting is not something done between a parent and a friend, and I know this shit bc my mom raised me with a few of her friends and guys,,, she never said that to any of them. Also Chris is practically never seen with anyone else from the 188firefam alone.

The Kitchen Scene™️. I have gone on rants about this before but truth be told THIS is the scene that conveys the MOST canonically sexual tension between them. We can joke about it all y’all want but this scene is unhinged. I don’t think Oliver and Ryan were aware that they should’ve been friends in this scene. The way the conversation shifts from apologetic sad puppy eyes to “you’re throwing your punches at the wrong guy” to I CAN TAKE YOU (???) you can what? “Oh you think?” “Oh I know” HELLO? Pls don’t even get me started on how Buck approaches Eddie, the way he’s puffy-chested, his hand on his belt, eyeing him up and down, nearly biting his lip, cocky grin,,,,, explain to me in hetero. I’m waiting😐 guys c’mon exPLAIN IT TO ME IN HETERO. The way Eddie glances to the side bc where’s Chris? And h o w he sips his beer right after, smirking, tiLTING His head. I’m sorry this is not straight in any way. I’m sorry you’re gonna have to accept this.

Clipboard Buck. Alright u got me!!! This one’s a lil silly, but so is my life, so it’s fair game. Clipboard Buck is annoying as fuck, he’s so fucking annoying. The entire firefam picks up on this, no one wants to be around,,,, except Eddie. You could argue that it’s bc he likes him as a friend and he’s just indulging …. 👁️👄👁️ sure but he also hides from Interim Captain Han soooo anyway what’s fun about this is how willing Eddie is to comply with everything he says. He’s basically twirling his hair, kicking his feet, smiling & blushing and “check!” 🧍🏽‍♀️ buck is kinky (that is canon e.g the ring cutter) and he gets high on authority and Eddie does backflips to meet his kinks. Exhibit 5 complete.

The Lawsuit Arc acka the first divorce era😔✊🏼. This one makes me rage a little bit because I get really upset at Buck for acting recklessly. Like baby let yourself HEAL. Anyway,,,, onto what brings us here 🥷🏼. It’s canon that the entire team is mad at Buck, they don’t really wanna bump into him, can’t really speak to him,,, but Eddie? Eddie’s filled with wrath. I cannot stress enough the fact that he uses Chris as an excuse “do you even know how much he misses you? how could you! you’re not here”. The way he expresses himself, and we’re choosing to ignore the fact that he HIMSELF misses Buck,, that’s how you talk to someone who has a responsibility with the child, not the fun coworker that randomly shows up @ your house with pizza every once in a while. “I couldn’t even call you to bail me out of jail”. He’s so u p s e t that for the first time they know each other he can’t rely on Buck when he’s hurting and in danger. And pls for the love of Jesus Christ my lord & savior don’t tell me that it’s a 118 thing bc he calls Ronda Rousey to come pick him up 🎅🏻 that grocery store scene is.. interesting.

Eddie Underground. Alright we’re getting serious now guys,,, might as well put on your thinking caps on this one. We all know the story, this isn’t a latest ep recap soooo The wAY Buck’s the ONLY ONE who desperately calls Eddie’s name when he’s fallen underground, amidst the heavy rain and dirt. Listen to me: he starts digging with his hands. With his bare hands I tell you!!!! 😩 Bobby has to physically pull him back as he cries on his lap. Buck is a smart man, he wouldn’t do something that’s completely illogic, he knows he can’t dig him out but he’s so desperate. His voice breaks, he can’t breathe, he becomes impulsive, reckless, impatient. Do I need to remind y’all the reason he wasn’t the one getting strapped to go underground??? “You’re not going down there. So we can have two cut off ropes?” Everyone knows he’s willing to sacrifice his integrity for Eddie bc his life doesn’t make sense without him. “We’ll get him back for you”

The Shooting + “I’ve made u my son’s dad lol”. When Eddie gets shot the world freezes for Buck. He’s left standing there, staring as Eddie’s blood splatters on him. He has to be tackled down. Even then, he’s unable to move, to breathe. He just looks as he bleeds out, and theN he snaps back into reality, bracing himself to go under the truck (foregoing his own trauma - I’ve said this before) and preparing for the amount of strength it’s gonna take to pull him under it. He screams at him to hold on, and later when he manages to pull him inside the truck he tells him he needs him to hang on. He rips his uniform open, he cries and screams,,, then Eddie wakes up, and he asks BUCK if HES okay. Bc he saw blood :( also as @butraura pointed out, he can’t die if Buck’s dying bc what about Chris? He only lets himself drift off when he knows Buck’s okay. Then we got The Will Reveal™️ also so unhinged. “You knew I wouldn’t turn it down” right what is this guys??? That was a year ago. He added him to his will A yEaR aGo. Idk about y’all but I haven’t added my friends to my will😀 also Buck’s the one who tells Chris ??? (I’m being very brief on this subject). Also “Because, Evan” shut up🧎🏽‍♀️

& 10. The Lightning Strike + “She sees me”. I’m doing these together bc I haven’t watched this episodes yet but I’m an addict so I’ve spoiled myself to the brim. The way Eddie screams Buck’s name, the way he saves him, “do more” h e l l o ?? The absolute PAIN in Eddie’s eyes, “you died Buck” “3 minutes and 17 seconds”, “his humor hasn’t changed” & the fact that he listens to Buck on his super genius math theory. And then Buck goes and says “I feel like Natalia sees me” ok. I mean my feelings mean nothing but Eddie’s face ??? That’s a man that knows he’s waited too long.

I rest my case. I’m missing a lot of scenes (like a lot omg Abby comes back, Buck under the Truck, Buck vomiting blood, the Taylor Arc) & y’all can argue in the comments about them, or add shit or try to dismantle mine, honestly the floor is yours idc wHat u do, just know you won’t convince me otherwise 🤸🏽these two are in love & that’s pretty much that on THAT. PERIOD.

[princessfroslass]

Angel Dust has a clear validation problem.

I had been thinking about this ever since episode 2 and episode 6 all but segmented this onto my subconscious.

Angel clearly doesn't care whenever anyone slut shames or just overall insult him- he lives to get a rise out of people. Hell, Hazbin Hotel's VERY FIRST SCENE on the Pilot was him going full "oh yeah slut, very creative." And going after Travis life- but not on a insecure way, he very clearly didn't care. Fast forward to the actual show and it's more of the same- he doesn't care whenever Vaggie or Husk or anyone else threaten him because he enjoys the chaos and it's open about the fact he is only there to no pay rent. He just doesn't care about what others think of him.

Except.... When he does.

You see it's interesting because back on that origin comic (that I don't even know if it's canon anymore but for a characterization point I'll take it.) when Charlie states they need a quest and even pays him for his time (Angel was working on the street when they meet him) and she goes full "this is an investment, on you." He leaves the limo all "oh...ok....sure...." Clearly moved or touched by her faith in him, even though he still thinks it's misguided trust.

Back to episode 2, it's pretty much the anthesis of this. For once, someone else seems interested on changing his ways and THAT obviously excites Charlie, who referred to Sir Pen as "the hotel's first real quest" now to be fair with her, Angel is very vocal about how he thinks the Hotel is BS and hadn't show any intention to change his ways soon- but y'know that still must stings like it hasn't even been a week and this girl that is all sunshine and rainbows already gave up on him lmao but it gets even worse- on the roleplay thing, look at the fucking role he is giving- A CRACKHEAD- like he had to pause before saying that shit- and to rub salt on the wound, Sor Pen performance ends with the "no sex before marriage!" Line. Like out of all sins one could commit- you pick Addiction to Drugs (more specifically CRACK) and Sex. Yo girl what the fuck- and ofc, only Sir Pen gets congratulated, because Angel was critical of the whole thing and the former was full on enthusiastic about it- the last shot before the bedroom scene we get us Angel staring at Charlie validating Sir Pen's efforts and how he is going to be redeemed so fast before Angel sadly goes upstairs.

Now the room scene..... Yikes. The fact that the roleplay was all and on about the drugs thing and how the last voicemail/Angel's imagination? Things we heard it's "Addict trash like you doesn't change"... Hahaha all the yikes with that fucking roleplay. So yeah it's very fucking clear from the get go Angel has....issues. Hell even after "It starts with Sorry" when everyone goes back to sleep he doesn't looks happy, just resigned lmao

(Which it's funny because on the very next episode he saves Sir Pen from the war thing going down but I digress)

Now episode 4- oh MAN where do I even start. Now remember how in the first paragraph I mentioned how Angel disses Travis but like, in a confident way? Not on the way someone affected would react? Well this ep is everything but that lmao "I don't give a shit about what a drunk ass bartender thinks of me" reeks of insecurity by the tone alone I am sorry. Notice how he looks very taken aback when Husk calls his act out before he doubles down and goes full "I am actor dumbass" bit. Man's defenses were penetrated in a way it hasn't before and he needed a moment to put more bs out of his ass because God forbid someone in this Hotel knows how horrible his life is and how much he hates himself- and then his advances were thoroughly rejected for good ("It's never gonna work on me") and he absolutely losses it. Not being able to compute that someone that clearly stared at him long enough to read him, doesn't want to fuck him. Disgusts from people that barely knows him he can take- being told to his face it's not working, he can't. And it's not even because he particularly want to fuck anyone there- that is how he sees his own worth. He makes Val money, everyone around wants to take him, his services are apparently FAR from cheap ("you know how much I am WORTH?!") and he had based his whole self worth around it- no matter how many times he gets taken advantage of on a random club on 3am or if is his own fucking abuser (he literally only opened Val's voicemails after the whole ep2 fiasco) people either despises him because of his overt sexuality or want to use him for it (there is also the middle road where his worse habits are enabled and that makes him 'fun' company- but I'll be there in a min) there just can't be a reality where he is told to his face that he is destroying himself and any connection he can have WITHOUT the alterior motive of wanting to fuck him- right? I mean even Charlie's hope on him was proven to be limited, so why bother?

Enter Loser, Baby.

And yes, my beloved Huskerdust atem- you see there is something fucked up about it. Angel only joins in to sing as well after he goes full "I am a hoe that likes drugs tehee" but unlike always, he is...not proud of it. He only sings about it because Husk sang how "it's ok to be a-" like expecting a negative, and it's ONLY when Husk completes it with a "Baby that is fine by me" does Angel truly smiles. He just had a whole breakdown, he doesn't has the energy to put his facade and his "I don't care what you think" actitude. But because Husk validates that he is able to follow along.

There is also the "This guy it's not that bad" part. Angel softened up at that because, again, Husk validated him- the real him. He saw through his facade and embraced it.

In episode 5 there is this little scene where Charlie is talking to her father over the phone and everyone else is silently supporting her from behind. And Angel, the ever realist- is just....grimacing through the whole thing lmao but to his credit seemed to support her regardless- but what cought my eye through the whole thing is that when Charlie goes full "Dad, this is important to me!" The camera focus on Angel a bit....touched? See the scene you'll get what I mean.

Then episode 6 came along. Cherrie comes along, and her and Husk play devil and angel on Anthony's shoulder the whole night. But there is something interesting about this- Angel never.... really stops Cherrie, nor explain why he would avoid drugs- Husk does. He ONLY explains himself when Cherrie confronted him about being so protective of Nifty. When Cherrie offer him the pills he doesn't goes full "I am sober now" cut and dry, instead he goes full "er....I dunno, I am tired. Maybe another time?" after Husk does the whole "I thought you were better than that" bit. Cherrie enables Angel- she clearly CARES about him, there is not doubt about that- but Hell is made with good intentions, validating his excesses and taking an active part on it is how they bond- and how his relationship with her makes him feel a bit better about himself, even when at the end of day it all comes crashing down (hello end of Addicted) and what is the first THING he smiles at after his confrontation with Valentino? "You did good, kid".

Ao in synthesis, Angel craves for validation in all and any way he can get it- regardless of how good the intentions of those giving it are. It either can be an validitation of his usual behavior (Cherrie) an validation of him wanting to better himself (Charlie, Husk) or just.... validation of his body as a whole (those weird sharks he ran to at ep4) it really depends of how much his mental state is on the gutter that day.

And then there is Valentino.

It's clear Angel's self Worth issues are not much better thanks to the way he is treated in and out of the studio- but, and knowing his familial relationship, it's doubtful they CAME from there, and it was an unfortunate result of it.

Valentino and the Vees pray on the vulnerable- that was DIRECTLY stated at ep2, and what is more vulnerable that a drug addict whose own family rejected? Sure Angel had been on Hell for a WHILE but his foundation was already shaky to begin with, he is street smart and posseses more common sense that some of his peers (literally the only one that stated they SHOULDN'T bring every psycho that tries to kill them to the Hotel lmao) but this need for Validation running deep on his core makes him the ideal pray for any asshole that is willing to drop a few "oh you are so pretty 💜"s his way until it's too late. How tragic would it be- to have the first person that validated him in a WHILE be the one that hurt him the most.

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 47

chapter 72:

1. “The day of Marlene's memorial is the first time Dorcas decides she's going to kill herself.” oh shit, oh fuck wait

2. bro dorcas is unwell. like holy shit. i forget that the war started because of dorcas’ love for marlene. like. this is just as much of a dorlene fic too

3. dear god i wanna help dorcas so badly

4. call it instinct, but i knew dorcas’ hair would be a crucial part of her healing journey 💃🏼💃🏼

5. i love well rounded female characters but at what cost. dorcas is well rounded but at what cost? she’s suffering and it hurts to read

6. god damn. finding out that dorcas’ mom was in charge of a quarterly quell is fucking insane. considering that dorcas all but ran the resistance

7. “”You said it first, didn't you? There are no good people in war. I lived by those words, did you know that? All that you were wrong about, but that…" She gives a brittle laugh. "You were right about that."”

foaming at the mouth oh my god. i wanna chomp glass

8. DORCAS NO! (she started drinking fyi)

9. dear god dorcas, you aren’t the only one who knew the “real” marlene. people other than you loved her.

10. dorcas finally admitting that if she could choose someone other than dorcas it would be lily hurts. especially since lily has mary.

11. “Marlene was the love of her life, and that's it. Simple as that. She'll never love another.” OWWWWW

12. “She will make sure Lily never knows that Dorcas looks at her now and thinks before this life, it could have been us; maybe in some other life, it is. And that's more than enough.”

DNDNSMMSJSKEJNS AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

13. brb i’m sobbing

okay i’m back. dorcas just found out marlene was gonna propose and now i’m a sniveling mess

14. so much thanks to bizzarestars making the effort to learn about the way war vets healed and dealt with ptsd

chapter 73:

1. sirius having an emotional support dog >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

2. also imma make predictions now: this is the chapter where sirius goes home. it’s time

3. YES YES YES YES THEYRE GOING HOME FUCK YEAH

4. “A homely little home with a porch-swing under the stars. Sirius is homesick for that, too.”

this is my dream too. like it’s been my dream for so long. i can’t even fathom how sirius isn’t bawling like a baby over this. IM bawling like a baby over THEIR porch swing

5. regulus saw sirius and was willing to risk it all just to hug him omg

6. “Barty was the sort of person who needed no outside guidance into being a bit insane.” LMAOOOOOO

7. they’re running a business together and they’re gonna do it forever and now i want to gnaw on wood and glass and plastic and anything i can get my hands on

8. lmao not sirius sitting like a spoiled puppy dog as james and regulus argue over him for the wedding

9. “"Oh, please," James scoffs, rolling his eyes. "One, I'm not stealing your brother away from you, and you know it. Two, who the fuck else would be my best man, hm? Who? Go on."

"Oh, you want to go there?!" Regulus shouts. "What about me? Yeah, didn't think about that, did you? My best friend is dead. Oh, and so is Barty. Who do I have, James? Hm?"”

FUCKING CACKLING

10. awwwww sirius’ compromise is so sweet omg. i’d literally cry if i was james and regulus

11. ugh gay people are so confusing. like you’re allowed to be freinds with the same people and freinds with any gender. so like, it makes wedding planning so hard. who goes on who’s side? what if i said that when i found out about gay people, my biggest hold up wasn’t religion or anything like that, but instead wedding side logistics

12. canonical genderqueer tonks!!!!!!!!!

13. regulus went to aberforth to cause a scene, and damn if he didn’t succeed

14. damn they’re both stubborn. and both got their way jfc

15. full circle. dorcas is designing their wedding clothes. i’m losing my mind, actually

16. the bookshelf. the fucking bookshelf from the first arena. i’m losing my mind oh my god

17. CACKLING OMG. REGULUS WAS WORRIED THAT JAMES WOULD BE SCARED OF THE DAGGERS, BUT INSTEAD HE GOT SO FUCKING TURNED ON OMG

18. STILL FUCKING CACKLING OMG

19. i didn’t know i needed insecure james, but oh i did

20. i get to read the crimson rivers jegulus wedding and oh my fucking god i’m losing it. i am so unbelievably happy

21. “For him, it's easiest to show love when it's a tragedy.”

dksjdjjsjdjsmdjske holy shit

22. “You're hesitating, love."”

AHDHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

23. “You might wish to know a lot of things about their wedding, and their love, but frankly, it's no one's business but theirs.” so feral over this. that’s literally one of the biggest themes of the story omg i love this

24. hi, anyways, i am so unwell

25. the authors notes about the wedding are golden

[rrat-king]

And what if I tell you my Fight, Flight, Fawn theory for the Appleboys reuniting with Kristen. What then? Going by your age gaps of 2, 4, 8 because they're canon adjacent and the idea of the Applebees having a playpen when three out of four kids were 14, 12 and 10 is too funny. Assuming a reunion between Kris and the younger two happens post her birthday so it's 17, 13 and 9 respectively. Buckys is analysing his actual response we saw from 14 year old him. When I say leave in reference to Kristen, know that I know it wasn't her choice (Mac and Donna when I fucking get you)

Bucky got the Fawn response. I'll be real, when I began theorising that an Applebees brother would feature I thought "Oh god here comes the angst. There will be resentment, Mac and Donna have undoubtedly been talking shit for two years. But we see him and he's happy. He missed her. He hugs her. He wants to hang out. And yeah that probably stems from the fact you'll naturally miss your sibling and the fact he probably had to take the oldest sibling mantle. But he barely even commented on her life and friends (aside from the half baked comment about her living in sin and side eyeing Fig). I was expecting more problematic behaviours to be honest. The theory is he entered full people pleasing mode, desperately tampering down any complicated feelings because he NEEDS to make himself a good brother that Kristen will want to stay for this time (of course not realising Kristen will stay the best she can no matter if he kicks and screams)

Bricker got Fight. Was like 10 when Kris left, and I say this with love, in the absolute throes of puberty. I don't know what it is but this kid just gives me angry vibes, maybe it's the middle child. Very Nico DiAngelo "He looked too young to be so angry". When you're a kid, especially in that horrific period of 10-13 you go to the easy solution which is being mad, and you go to the easy target which is the one who "started" this huge upheaval (read Kristen). To a lesser extent, Bucky, for trying to play big brother (Bricker doesn't even realise this but the anger mostly came from a subconscious desire to preserve Kristen's place in the family for if she comes back).

(Bonus: Once they have a very good conversation and Bricker is reassured Kristen never did stop thinking about and loving him he will cry three years worth of pent up tears and beg her not to leave again)

Cork got Flight. He was only 6 when she left, its been 3 years of experiences (little man went from first grade to third in that time its a Lot). Kristen has physically changed a lot since they last saw each other. All this to say, he takes a minute to recognise this older person who's eyes are all wet at the sight of him. Some part of his brain blocked out memories of her because the way she was just gone one day was so scary to his little brain. When it does register who she is, Cork becomes completely unlike himself and gets shy. He makes Bucky stand close by because all he knows is that 1. This is a heathen who rebuked Helio's light 2. This is Krissy, back after what felt like forever and 3. She's so cool looking and why would someone this cool ever want to talk to him.

(Bonus: She played it off but Kristen's heart did break seeing Cork, the little boy she raised, take a minute to work out who she is, when she never forgot him. Not to quote Taylor but very "And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe")

god yeah kristen having partially raised cork only for him not to know who she is anymore/barely recognize her haunts me so much. bucky as a people pleaser is such a good read especially as he is forced into kristen's role as head of the siblings I just. yeah. also angry bricker is so important to me. he got left behind! he's not ok with that and he's gonna be angry. god I just. applebees kids make me crazy this is such a good read.

[purgemarchlockdown]

Read this tl of the news and literally everything about the MV screams “Kotoko what the fuck did you do” to me.

Why is the same girl in two separate warehouses?

Why does Kotoko not pay any attention at all her to her both when she’s reading the article and when the girl is Clearly waiting for her?

(She looks around in this shot, she's Actively looking to see if Kotoko is coming along this path)

Why does the girl look Angry at her in the first shot?

It makes Sense for Kotoko turn into the werewolf (Jacques) if she set that girl up. It makes Sense for Kotoko to feel so conflicted about it because Kotoko is a person who really does want to do "good" it makes...way too much sense with how the girl is Dressed as well

All of this is already a lot but...Kotoko does actively manipulate a child in Milgram canon...she does it to Es.

Yonah

K: You think long-term restrainment is not violence too? E: It's not. K: So you tolerate all of the psychological abuse going on in this prison, but draw the line at the physical one? What double standards you have! E: You're speaking nonsense! I'm the one who sets the rules for this prison. It's all of my choice.

If she really cared about this she would of Said it earlier in the conversation when they were first talking about the punishments, and Kotoko also never brings this up again once Es relents to her.

The context of this scene is Es actively criticizing her actions, and Kotoko is Deflecting that by criticizing Es instead.

Are there things to criticize? Yes, Definitely. But, again, Kotoko is Using this, not to get Es to STOP doing psychological abuse, but to let HER continue her physical abuse.

She also Repeatedly wears Es down in this VD, calling them weak, questioning their abilities as a warden, even calling them useless.

This is what you say when your trying to Wear Down Someone, you make them unsure of themselves, you make them trust their own abilities less and it makes them more willing to trust You more.

Questions about Es success as a warden aside, that isn't really the point of this, and it all culminates in the hug.

E: Kotoko... K: Come here. E: No... I d-don- K: It's gonna be alright. E: L-let me go, Kotoko... K: I know it well. It's so hard to hold the responsibility of a guard all alone. I've also felt this way. You are such a kind person. You can't stand the prison changing with the power of your choices. So you need someone to be with. Leave all of the dirty work to me. E: I'm... a kind person?.. K: Does your head hurt anymore? Don't worry. Leave it to me, and together we'll be able to create the right MILGRAM. E: I see... that MILGRAM...

Kotoko is calling Es a kind person, giving them validation, making them feel loved and cared for...right after repeatedly calling them weak and useless, and then asks to "Leave it to her."

Come on, rely on me, go on

This is actively exploiting Es vulnerability and emotional instability (instability she partially caused) to get Es to Agree with her. This is unfortunately consistent behavior, it makes me like her more as a Character, but also dear god Kotoko what the fuck did you do.

[its-a-me-mango]

MANGOOO!! hello, been shy to slide into asks but i got very curious looking at your SMG4 posts.. do you have any headcanons you think are cool ? Would be a blast to see them! :D

OH HAI!!!! Oh my god I love headcanons so much I promise, but I'm one of those people who immediately forgets them all when I'm asked about them. Also I forgot which ones are mine and which ones are someone elses, thought tbh if someone HC is good enough for me to think I made it then like, that would be a huge compliment to me haha! X3

I have a few that I can think of off the top of my head right now, there's a few that need a whole post to explain but I'll do that when I feel like it, gonna leave out any LGBT headcanons because I already agree with everyone else, they are all gay and trans except the ones that aren't and that's so awesome.

Again forgive me if I repeat someone else's HC, or if anything I say is proven to not be possible, I fucking forgorrrrr;

SMG3 has tattoos, I know I've shown that one already but listen. He has 3, one is a half sleeve on his left forearm that's got a skull and a bunch of bombs and explosions around it, another one is on his right mid thigh which is a memorial tattoo for Terence, and one very small one on his back right shoulder blade that's just a little skull (it's very blown out and old). He'd like to get more at some point, none of the others have any tattoos but he's trying to convince them to get one.

All the SMG's have the little arrow thing that was on their guardian pod as a marking somewhere on their body, SMG1 has his on his chest under his scarf, SMG2 has his under his hat, SMG3 has his on his lower back, and SMG4 has his on the back of his neck, they're all pretty hidden and not too visible, but anytime they use their meme guardian powers they glow.

Tari is just a bird fan in general, for someone who stays inside gaming she sure knows every single bird ever. She's not a bird watcher but she can identify any bird you show her easily, and she's always happy and excited to see bird when she does go out. Obviously though ducks are her favourite, but she like all waterfowl in general.

Karen is divorced, she just gives me divorced girl energy. She has full custody of her kids because her ex was a piece of shit and didn't want them anyway, her kids were all too young to know about him thankfully. She probably got married right out of highschool or something, those relationships never seem to work out. I keep thinking of those "day in the life of a divorced 23 year old" videos like, that's her lol.

Bob's secret hobby is fabric work, you will catch him dead before you catch him admitting or even showing anything he makes, but he makes garments and furniture for fun. Sometimes he'll throw them into the black market and lie about their value for a quick buck and to clear out space, he doesn't care much once they're completed he just likes making them.

I think this one's just semi canon, but SMG4 Mario is secretly really good at reading people, yeah he's kinda dumb but he can pick up what people are feeling in depth, he just doesn't always get why. He's also just a good guy to go to for comfort, not advised though don't listen to him, he's just really good to ramble/vent too (mainly because he won't remember what you said lol).

I'm sure I'll think of more as soon as I post this, but come back and ask again at some point and I'll try and remember them lol

[pinyeti]

Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith (BROKE MY FUCKIN HEART CHAT WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENENED????)

Ugh they’re going to rescue the chancellor

HOW ARE THEY THIS IN TUNE WITH THE FORCE BUT CANT SEE THAT THE CHANCELLOR IS EVIL

WOW THIS INSECT LOOKING GUY IS COOL

NOWAYYY OBIWAN CANONICALLY MAKING PATHETIC DAD JOKES THIS IS SO FUNNY

Dookie’s back

MAN THE PARALLELS TO THE OGS ARE CRAAAAZZZZYYYYY

anakin probably put Luke through the same stuff he went through to test if hes a little bitch like him

Okay anakin your problem is you only listen to yourself

NO WAY HOW DID THEY GO FROM THIS BROMSNCE TO KILLING EACH OTHER NEXT MOVIE

Did anakin just call him short… does he have a death wish

Chancellors such as bitch

I just know padmes gonna die and hes going to turn cuz of her

The chancellor really said you’re not like other girls anakin

Okay so anakin has to pick sides between

“HE’S NEVER LET ME DOWN”- NOOOO OBIWANNN NOOOOOO HES GONNA BE SOOO HURT

This whole movie is everyone manipulating anakin to try and get him on their side

Kung fu panda - dragon warrior drama

Count dookie

BRO IS HE INSERTING DREAMS INTO ANAKINS MIND

Theyre boxing him in THE COUNCIL IS SO ANNOYING THIS IS NOT HOW YOU DEAL IWTH A REBEL KID

Someone give nick fury and yoda parenting lessons

NO NO NO NOOO NOOO NOT FOR THIS NO NO PADMES GONNA BE FINE NOOO NOOO NOOO NOOO THIS STUPID CHILD NOOO HES GOOD I KNOW HES GOOD

How did the jedis not see this???????

NO??? ANAKIN??? TELL ME ANAKIN DIDNT KILL A BUNCH OF CHILDREN WHAT THE FUCK?? No absolutely not im not siding for this bullshit fukc off

In the immortal words of Deadpool you punch a couple hundred orphans and suddenly you’re the bad guy

My god anakin IM SO FUCKIN PISSED AT YOU YOU CANT KILL CHILDREN YOU FUCKIN PRICK I HATE YOU SO MUCH WHAT THE FUCK NONE OF THIS IS JUSTIFIED WHAT YOU HAD A BAD DREAM SO YOU GO KILL KIDS FUCKIN BITCH

I want to kill anakin Fight me right now

Are you really going around killing children like youre not even going to rise to crimes in a linear manner?? You directly kill kids??

Youre so full ofF SHIT ANAKIN- SHE DIDNT ASK YOU FOR ANY OF THIS YOURE SO STUPID YORE NOT DOING THIS FOR LOVE YOU’RE DOING THIS FOR POWER YOURE PATHETIC

Yes anakin blame obi wan BLAME ANYONE BUT YOURSELF

standing in the middle of a burning planet I HAVE BROUGHT PEACE

No this is breaking my heart no no no no No no no no

YODA PLS PLS PLS KILL EMPEROR PLS (ik he wont but pls) Yoda is so powerless why didnt he stop anything WHY WERE THEY SO BLINDED WHY

Yeah yoda GO HIDE YOU BIG FAILURE MY POOR OBIWAN HE DOESNT DESERVE ANY OF THIS

I did not sign up for this heartbreak FUCK YOU ANAKIN FOR MAKING ME LIKE YOU FOR A TINY BIT

FUCK YOU FOR MAKING OBIWAN LOVE YOU AND THROWING IT ALL AWAY

YOU BECAME WHAT YOU FEARED YOU FUCKIN IDIOT I HATE YOU SO MUCH ANAKIN AND FOR WHAT

They lied to him, idc he deserves to hate himself for the rest of eternity

Ohh theyre making the Death Star now

…. this family needs therapy

(6/9)

[crystallizedday]

Mkay, so I just woke up & I feel like spitting some facts today while I’m still in my BATDR hyperfix, especially since I’m pretty sure not a lot of people have this idea as well & I wanna get it out there somehow.

So…

The Ink Demon is like… written SO fucking well in this game, or at least as I interpret it.

& I figured this shit out like GRADUALLY.

The first tid bit that hit me like a fucking truck was how CANONICALLY the Ink Demon is in DESPERATE need of any kind of love and affection. While it’s hinted at a little bit in the games, the smoking gun comes from the VOICE ACTOR FOR INKY HIMSELF Sean Crisden.

Yes, I looked through his entire Twitter to find this again just to prove I’m not insane.

Like… even if Sean isn’t caught up entirely on the lore, there’s no reason he would say this only knowing the Ink Demon through his lines. After all, my guy has to be told about the character to voice him, so for him to address this pretty much makes it as close to being confirmed officially as we can.

The second thing that hit me like a truck was the YouTuber Pastra’s review video on the game, where he details how the Ink Demon’s mocking in the last chapter is towards HIMSELF, not Audrey, & he’s just projecting all HIS shit onto her.

Not even I caught this, since I always thought Inky was right about the “your life is a lie” thing due to her not being fully human.

But then Pastra emphasized the “mistake” bit. Audrey wasn’t a mistake, far from it. The Ink Demon, BENDY, was. HE was a mistake, born solely to be a living mascot to entertain, & when he came out WRONG, he was locked away, neglected, abandoned by the man who created him.

So he looks at Audrey, someone who was made by the same man who made him, someone who was treated so much better because of how she came out “perfect”, & tries to bring her down on the same level as he is by berating her.

& while this is stretching a bit, him comforting her at the end feels a bit like he’s trying to comfort himself, tricking himself to believe there is SOMEONE like him, someone who was ABANDONED & lied to, & thus giving Audrey the opportunity to live so he can indulge in that comfort.

It’s a BIG stretch, but god DAMN is it a gut puncher!

Like I’m sure he also did it to manipulate her & shit, but like… he can have MORE than one reason to do shit, & if he really did try to comfort himself like that, if that really is true… then I’m gonna fucking sob, man.

BUT THAT IS NOT FUCKING ALL!!

Cause I got ONE MORE mind blower I had, mainly (but not entirely) on my own after that one!!

& it has to do with Baby Bendy.

A LOT of people think Inky got his mind split in two when he was imprisoned as Baby Bendy due to how different he acts around Audrey.

But I beg to differ.

I think the Ink Demon is ABSOLUTELY still conscious & in control as Baby Bendy. He just couldn’t do shit to anyone before Audrey came about & accidentally freed him (cause I am ALSO subscribed to that theory Pastra addressed in his video), so he just minded his own business.

Perhaps his new emotional responses spoken of in the Keepers’ tapes come from him being more powerless & vulnerable where the only thing he COULD do was cry.

& the reason he acts so friendly towards Audrey once she meets up with him near the city? Because she was kind to him, she actually gave a shit about him. She apologized to him about hurting him & wanted to take care of him.

NEVER in Inky’s life has he EVER had someone genuinely care about him & his well being, something he always wanted from ANYONE but never got. So when he finally has that opportunity with Audrey, he jumps to it, going along with it, even if he desperately didn’t want to visit the Gent labs again.

More evidence of this is detailed in a post by @jupiter-jellies titled “Ink Demon VS Vesty” which I really like (I apologize for the tag, I don’t know if there’s an easier option to showcase the post itself, but I still wanna credit you nonetheless) as it makes sense of the sequences of events that happen from when Baby Bendy first joins your party to when he disappears & the Ink Demon comes to stop you from entering the Keepers’ area. Seriously, that shit blew my mind when I read it cause it explains WHY Baby Bendy went missing & why the Ink Demon would try to stop Audrey from going THERE in particular.

It just makes sense that the Ink Demon was still HIMSELF in both forms, he just acts differently to compensate for his lack of powers & to be given the love & affection he always wanted.

… But then it gets sad.

Cause the more I thought about it, the more fucked up it became. The ONLY time the Ink Demon EVER got someone to reach out to him & make him feel cared for… is when he’s in a “perfect” form. Only when he was cute & innocent & TRAPPED against his WILL could he be EVER loved, that if only he came out RIGHT in the first place, then he would DESERVE all the love that Audrey offers him.

If Joey & the others neglecting & abusing him when he came out wrong when he was JUST created didn’t solidify this idea in his head, Audrey treating him like a friend in his “perfect” form & an enemy in his true form DEFINITELY sealed the deal to him.

& it only gets worse.

I was re-listening to Joey talking to Audrey at the tail-end of the game to try & snap her out of the dark mindset Inky put her in when I realized something.

The Ink Demon was RIGHT THERE, listening to his abuser talk directly to AUDREY the ENTIRE TIME, telling her how she was loved & how she’s not this monster, that she was his pride & joy, his ONLY success…

& that PISSES Inky off.

In INKY’s point of view, only after Joey had a creation that WASN’T an abomination did he suddenly have a change of heart, that all it took was to get something he always wanted to be a better person as he completely ignores his biggest mistake that was RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM.

That… has GOT to sting, really bad, to feel abandoned AGAIN in favor of the “better sibling” that Audrey was.

I have a feeling that he didn’t crush Joey SOLELY so he couldn’t get through to Audrey. I think he also did it because he couldn’t take LISTENING to him talk like this anymore, to be reminded that he was a failure that didn’t deserve the love that Audrey got, & lashed out to shut Joey up.

This is ALL very headcanon-y, but… it really does paint the Ink Demon in a more complex & tragic light.

The Ink Demon was NEVER just a mindless monster that killed whatever it wanted on sight. He was capable of emotion, & he could’ve potentially been capable of being something so much more if only he got the proper care & reassurance he DESPERATELY needed.

& GOD I love his character for it, he’s my favorite character in the game BY FAR because of this, GOD I hope this is canon so I can give massive props to the writers for this game!!

[bisexualfemalemess]

BRIDGERTON SEASON 3 PT 2 SPOILERS

Live reaction episode 5:

I’m a little disappointed that we didn’t get to see Penelope’s answer to colin’s proposal but in my head she just straight up faceplanted outta that carriage. On another note, colin constantly looking back at her to check on her is peak protective husband. Colin ‘my wife’ bridgerton indeed. Also Penelope’s so loved by his family and not him being willing to fight Eloise, his own sister, like hold your horses buddy. El baby she’s loved him since you guys were children. Both are honestly valid and i love them both so much, i just need my peneloise besties back right now. Like so expeditiously. Awww, colin checking up on pen. He’s truly already so far gone. I’M SORRY THE TREE???? What the actual fuck???? Lady tilley arnold needs to get the fuck off my screen. I’ve never read the books but booktok and twitter made me love sophie already, i need her. Not pen listening to her family reading LW Lmaoo she seems so smug about it. EY LADY DANBURY HAPPY ABOUT POLIN THEY’RE SO LOVED BY EVERYONE. KANTHONY MY BABIES. MY PARENTS ARE GONNA BE ACTUAL PARENTS STFU. Anthony’s so feral for her 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 aww hyacinth is so excited to tell them about polin’s new engagement my daughter fr. HYACINTH OMG IJBOL NOT HER SAYING GREGORY’S THE FAMILY PET I’MMA DIE. Eloise baby she did not use you, she loves you and you love her so make up bitches. Cressida is so gay for eloise no one can tell me otherwise. OH MY GOD NOT THE BOOK LINE ABOUT HIS LOVE BEING A THUNDERBOLT FROM THE SKY SOMEONE SEDATE ME (might need to make a part two and i’m only 10 minutes in) they’re not even married yet and Benedicts like “your wives” she’s always been a bridgerton for real. PORTIA I AM INDIFFERENT TOWARDS YOU BUT BACK OFF FROM MY GIRLY AND DON’T MAKE HER DOUBT HER RELATIONSHIP. COLINS SO HOT TELLING PORTIA OFF SOMEONE GET ME SOME HOLY WATER OR SOMETHING JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. HE’S BEEN WITH HER FOR LESS THAN 24 HOURS AND HE’S ALREADY THROWING AROUND THE L-WORD OH HE FELL SO HARD FOR HER IMMA THROW MYSELF IN FRONT OF A MOVING TRUCK. MIRROR SCENE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD ALRIGHT ITS HAPPENING ITS HAPPENING OH HIS SPEECH IMMA KILL MYSELF IM SO SERIOUS. THIS IS PERFECT OH MY GOD, NICOLA COUGHLAN IS A GODESS AND THEIR CHEMISTRY IS SO PALPABLE. “LIE DOWN” THAT WAS SO FUCKING HOT, COLIN BRIDGERTON CAN COMMAND ME AROUND ANY DAY. Sex scene, sex scene, sex scene….TO POV???? Oh, that’s such a beautiful song choice. This is literally so intimate, i feel like I’m intruding. Colin bridgerton is a canon consent man and as a woman i think that’s so sexy. That was the cutest sex scene of my life, cute, hot, awkward, everything a first time is supposed to be (i wouldn’t know🙊) KANTHONY SCENE. HES THE CUTEST ALL KISSING HER STOMACH. Newton and Anthony always beefing. Their so cute 😫😫😫. Awww John and Francesca are so cute as well. Awwww him asking about marriage 😖😖😖. VISCOUNTESS KATE IN ACTION MY BABY GIRL. She’s working overtime being pregnant, viscountess and giving eloise advice. She clocked peneloise’s tea. AWW Post-sex polin is the cutest with the book line too 🥹🥹🥹🥹 and the teasing!!! They’re truly so friends to lovers. NOT HER GETTING INTERRUPTED WHEN SHE WANTS TO TELL HIM SHE’S WHISTLEDOWN. FUCK ASS SERVANTS. Oh poor pen having to listen to her fiancé trash-talk her without knowing he’s taking about her, like i wouldn’t tell him i’m Whistledown either after this, bet. Also they literally have no sense of personal space and it’s too cute. Aww a colin and eloise talk. THEY WERE INSEPARABLE AND THEY NEED TO BE AGAIN SOON OR IMMA DO SOMETHING SO DRASTIC I SWEAR TO GOD. Peneloise as bestie sister-in-law’s is something that i need so bad it’s like not even funny anymore. Penelope’s sister need to leave her the fuck alone and portia needs to leave her ulterior motives at the door even penelope was like what the hell is going on. I don’t really mind will and alice plot honestly they’re just a cute married couple, much like polin will be. OH MY GOD NOT BENEDICT CALLING KATE SISTER IM DYING IM DECEASED. THAT FUCK ASS TOP HAH OH MY LORD. NOT COLIN CALLING PENELOPE HIS BRIDE TO BE 🫠

[petra-creat0r]

Deltarune: Fool's Fate Ch. 1 Secret Boss

So I've decided I should probably post refs of my Fool's Fate bosses since I did that for my prediction bosses and since I'm including them in my secret boss reactions, it'd probably be useful that people know who the heck they are.

Though Dorothy and her backstory has been mentioned on my side blog @apupp3tw0-strings as Chicago learned about it in real time, and I've mentioned her a few times here, I'm betting most of you don't really know about her as I haven't actually posted her backstory here. So here you go.

(Dorothy's battle theme by my wonderful friend @kierangecko)

Her name isn't intentionally a Wizard of Oz reference (though looking at her outfit during her height I can see it), but instead as it means "Gift of God", which will make more sense when I get into her backstory and how she met the "strange someone". Basically, her name, her whole identity, was a gift from what could be considered A God. Perhaps more of the eldritch variety to Darkners but still a God.

Her text quirk is speaking in clips stitched together from those she's heard, aka other dialogue from Undertale, Deltarune, or Fool's Fate for the purposes of me playing her in an RP I've been running on my Discord server. She has no voice of her own, and can only mimic the voice's she's heard.

I love Dorothy. She snowballed from me getting the idea of a mannequin or something without identity or purpose that was given one by the "strange someone". I also think she'll hold a place in my heart as the first secret boss I created straight up. Before even thinking of making Bitsy, Elymas, or Veratus. Back when I was in the mind set of "I don't want too make prediction bosses because I'll get it wrong when the chapters come out and it'll be ruined." Now I have had character development and said "Fuck it. I'm making my own take, this was gonna diverge from canon anyways."

I still need to finish my Dorothy plush.

Backstory under the cut

She used to be nothing but a blank doll. An empty face with no name, no identity, no purpose. A blank slate longing to be filled. Her Light World counter part is a DIY doll kit that was meant to be a Gyftmas gift for Broadway, but was left up in the attic and forgotten about.

No one paid any mind to her. Barely anyone knew she existed as she wandered aimlessly around the Dusty Plains. Her only companion being the snake fortune teller who'd set up shop out in the Plains. Jeanie would listen to the doll even without her saying a word, and read her fates many time. Each time the snake assuring the doll that her future held infinite potential.

On day though, the doll came across a man. A strange someone who offered to lend her a hand. He gave her an identity. A face, a voice, a name. Dorothy. And after pulling the last thread to give her a mouth, the man gave Dorothy a purpose. Live the life she wished to lead, but come to him if she needed anymore help. And so she did. The first step in the man's new plan.

With the man's help, Dorothy was finally recognized and rose in popularity. Eventually joining the Upper Choir, the governing force over the Land of Attica. Dorothy couldn't be happier. People knew her. People talked to her. People... listened to her. It was around this time that the man enacted the next phase of his plan. Showing Dorothy the truth of this world. Revealing that they were all nothing more than a bunch of dusted toys and clothes up in an attic. The Lightners they all worshiped weren't coming back for them.

The rest of the Choir didn't like it when Dorothy started spreading this new gospel. They exiled her back to the Dusty Plains. This outraged the ragdoll. They refused to see the truth. They were blind. All of them were blind, blind fools. In her exile, Dorothy was driven to violence, ripping the Plains apart with pins and needles, attempting to puppeteer those who refused to see the truth right in front of them. She had to be stopped.

And to think that her only friend since the beginning was the one to call the Choir Guard.

Dorothy was locked away for quote "Your own and every one else's safety." She yelled and screamed at that stupid Magician as he walked back to the elevator, leaving Dorothy all alone in a padded cell forever.

... That was until a possessed puppet and his companions happened to find their way down.

----------------------------

Her story is meant to mirror/parallel Jevil's in a way, though it also takes a bit from Spamton's. I think I've gotten better at writing secret boss backstory's since making my prediction bosses, but I still like Dorothy and her backstory. She and Jevil are friends post Fool's Fate Chapter 1.

[thefallenangelsgang]

BALDUR'S GATE 3 x MAMMA MIA! AU

CHARACTERS

[YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO USE MY IDEA FOR ANYTHING YOU WANT, I ONLY ASK YOU CREDIT ME]

(break to save your dash)

Now, not every character is going to fit cleanly into character slots (there are too many characters to fill the main cast) so some of our Baldur's Gate loves will be sharing character traits and plot devices amongst each other.

Let’s start with Donna: She will be played by Tav obviously. I mean there really is no other choice here. We need someone who has gotten romantically entangled with multiple if not all the companions. The one unfortunate snag is that Tav has to carry or otherwise create the child of dubious parentage without the other parent knowing. That does pigeonhole the characterization a bit unless you want to go the magic route with it (which opens a line of ethical questioning beyond not telling the Parent of your child about the existence of said child)

For the purposes of this thought experiment, I'm operating under Tav being AFAB and having a womb to carry the baby. I’m also operating under the idea that all the companions have the reproductive organs of the gender they present as in game. If anyone wants to actually do something with this they are free to do whatever the fuck they want and use whatever headcanons they want. 

Sophie is going to be played by Tav’s kid. This one doesn’t have a hard and fast gender rule (TIL Sophus is the masculine version of Sophie) but they have to want to know who their other sire is and be generally chaotic which is not hard when they’ve grown up with the Tadfools as their role models. It is important that they display mostly Tav’s traits with others that could be any one of their other parent’s. (think Amanda Siefried and Meryl Streep are both blonde and similarly built. Sophie draws like Sam and sings and plays like Harry and has Bill’s adventurous spunk)

For ease of writing Tav’s Kid will be referred to as Soph from here on out.

Speaking of Sires, the Dads:

Sam: I waffled a LOT on who to choose out of the Baldur’s Boys because I wanted to keep it to just the traditional three and to just companions. You can obviously shuffle around people (I'm sure the Rolan girlies (gender neutral) would love putting him in this AU) and expand the possible dad list (though I don’t know how to split the characteristics like the Donna’s Friends). I chose to go with Gale here. I think he fits the very no nonsense and very anxious vibes from Sam in the show/movie. Instead of a business person who “went home to get married” perhaps Gale got called upon by Mystra as her Chosen and left to focus on his Wizardry. He is definitely the kind to break Tav’s heart over duty and be so ashamed he doesn’t really speak to them for 20 years. 

Bill: This one was damn near a no brainer once I was considering it. It’s Halsin. Who better to be the Hippie, fun-loving, sex god and travel writer? He retains all his Baldur’s Gate characteristics. His experience with Tav is truly just a bit of fun before they both go their separate ways. Their relationship is HEAPS less frigid than Gale and Tav’s. 

Now this is where you can go two ways with this. You could give Halsin is canon good ending (Reithwin with the kids) BUT we miss Bill being scared shitless at the prospect of having a child which I always loved as a characterization (Skarsgard plays it like a champ in the film, he looks like he’s gonna have a heart attack lmao). I feel like Clan Dad Halsin after 20 years is way too open to the idea of having something permanent like a kid. Wandering Arch Druid Halsin might be a little more scared shitless at the idea. That one is a personal preference, I think I’d prefer Reithwin Halsin even though I miss the majesty of an internal conflict.

Harry: Now this one also was a no-brainer but needs to be explained with some tact. It’s Astarion. It is not because Astarion is the most effeminate of the group. For those that don’t know, Harry is canonically gay. The companions are all pan. I chose Astarion because there is an opportunity to do something else transformative with Astarion and Tav’s tryst. 

In Mamma Mia, Harry talks about how Donna is the last and only woman he’s loved and their time together helped him accept his sexuality. In the stage show he’s in a committed relationship (his partner's name is fully escaping me atm). It always stuck out to me that Donna changed Harry and that’s why he still loves her after all these years. Sam obviously regrets leaving to do what was expected of him because he didn’t love his first wife. Bill sees the life of adventure and companionship he could have had with Donna but acknowledges that that time is behind them and still loves her anyways. And Harry loves that Donna made him see himself clearly for the first time in his life and loves her for it. You can see why Astarion came to mind I hope. 

Astarion’s night with Tav was him figuring out what intimacy meant to him after finally closing the Cazador Chapter of his life. The encounter was brief but it changed him for the better and allowed him to start healing.

EDIT: I realized I didn’t cover Astarion’s Vampirism at all. For story purposes assume he has some kind of temporary solution to the sun issue because I need his ass to be present when this is set on a fantasy Greek island. The Dhampir issue is… something. I sludged through some further thought experiments. Tav and the kid being Tieflings hides the fang coloration issue. Explaining away that the characteristics haven’t presented yet because the kid is still quite young by nearly all standards (20 is just barely of age for humans, and though they are full grown biologically they are still children in Elven society) and also have been largely sheltered from danger their whole life also works.

But to be honest, despite what the second movie and its director want you to believe, I think Harry is the least likely father of the three. I am comfortable extending this to Astarion. 

Okay now we are into the Dynamos! Fuck yes! Rosie and Tanya are my favorites (it helps that they are PERFECTLY casted in the movie oh my god). I have split their characteristics across the girls. There are some of the companions that are obviously one or the other (Karlach is the most Rosie coded while Minthara SCREAMS Tanya) while others send mixed signals (Shadowheart is the most even, skewing towards Tanya slightly while Lae’zel has Tanya’s bitchy attitude and Rosie’s  “lone wolf” outlook) SO I’m going to make a chart

Like Astarion, for story purposes, assume Karlach’s heart issue has been solved.

Graphic design is my passion

ANYWAYS you may have noticed three of our friends are missing from this line up. Our intrepid Folk Hero Formally Known As The Blade of Frontiers, Wyll, Pack Mother, Jaheria, and her trusty ride or die Rashamen, Minsc (and don’t forget Boo!). 

I had some trouble with these nerds because initially I was playing with making Wyll the second half of Sam, he would have usurped the businessman and maybe the gone home to get married bit while Gale was the heartbreaker and took something from Bill’s characterization, but I was having trouble with losing character motivations. Plus Wyll is canonically not the type for flings. So I am having him be a good family friend invited to the wedding but not involved in the parentage. He essentially is a more involved part of the Greek Chorus. He could take Sam entirely if you are not the type for Gale but you will see why I did this when I get into the songs (yes I am that fucking insane about this.) 

Jaheira does have the countenance to be a Dynamo BUT there is this minor character that I think about way too often that I wanted her to take. She is only mentioned in the first movie and the stage show in one line and seen a little in the second movie (which is a fever dream and convolutes the “lore” but I love it anyways). It’s Bill’s Great Aunt Sophia that left Donna the money to start Villa Donna. OBVIOUSLY she isn’t directly going to be playing Halsin’s Great Aunt or be dead (though she will be ancient by then) but she’s going to fill the mentor role for Tav and help out with Soph. She is the only one who knows that Gale Halsin and Astarion are the possible fathers until the beginning of the shenanigans.

Minsc, like Wyll, doesn’t have a direct parallel. He is also a part of the more involved Greek Chorus. He is Soph’s crazy uncle. He got them into all kinds of trouble and still does to this day. He gives a less emotional and personal version of Sam’s “are you sure you want to do this, you are so young” speech that essentially is offering to run off and be warriors (His plan does not get them away from anyone, he’s unanimously elected that the entire tadfool group is coming with them). But he does it after Gale gives the original speech that severely upsets Soph so it serves as a cheer up speech (“Minsc is unsure if the Wizard should come along seeing as he has upset the little warrior so, but Boo says he is very useful and Minsc agrees. So he can come with, but he does not get to pet Boo’s furry little bottom!”). 

The rest of our Greek Chorus and people like Sky and Sophie’s Friends are filled out by various NPCs. Pepper is played by Mol. Ali and Lisa are open to OCs to be honest but the idea of Yenna and Arabella hearing the saucy details of a story they were partly involved in is really funny to me so they are listed in the song list as the backup singers. Sky is an OC because I wasn’t fully comfortable using any of the child NPCs. He’s referred to as Soph’s partner.