#god fucking damnit he needs to have SOME sense of self respect

[reapkusho]

A lot of people say kainess is incredibly one-sided (on ness' part) but I think Kaiser did want to keep him for a while because that was the only thing he wanted — for "something that lasts" and to "love and be loved". The only thing that'd really last is for someone that truly loves you that would keep coming back even if you push them away and/or abuse their affection.

It was because Ness kept coming back and the fact that he went through the same thing as him — not getting any love and affection as a child (guess he related to him?) — that kaiser decided to keep him. but after he realized that restricting himself and being uncomfortable was the key to being the best then he went and let him go — which means Kaiser can't really "love" because that'd mean being comfortable with something > then he goes searching for something to keep and love again which means he's at peak desperate condition > when he finds it he has to let it go because he'd be comfortable > cycle repeats.

[fever-dreamer97]

Let’s Try This Again

Chapter 2: Memory Lane Can Burn

———————————————————

Damn, how is it already getting so fucking hot? Katsuki tugged at his collar as he continues his walk towards the meeting point with his gang of idiots. Even with his first button undone like it always is, there is no escaping this annoying-ass heatwave.

Hopefully, it will die down soon. Katsuki just started his second year at UA a few weeks ago, and he doesn't want his first few months dying of fucking heatstroke. He also hates the feeling of sweating all over his body.

With workouts and any other physical activities, he didn't mind because it cooled down his body. But he found the feeling just disgusting and suffering when it was just walking to school.

He keeps his leisurely pace to the coffee shop as he hears the loud honking of traffic and random useless chatter from extras he passes by on his way. Damnit, he should have grabbed his headphones before he left his house; he hated endless noise. Of course, he hated any noise.

"WHOA! LOOK HOW COOL ALL MIGHT LOOKS! ISN'T HE THE COOLEST, HIEKO-CHAN?!" A small, high-pitched voice rings out.

At the mention of the familiar name, Katsuki stops and snaps his head over to two little small kids gushing over a movie poster of the upcoming new All Might movie. One kid is a girl with wild cardinal hair, cerulean eyes, and pale skin, while the other kid is a boy with cropped white hair, blood-red eyes, and dark skin. Both looked to be in kindergarten and wore their respective school uniforms.

"LOOK AT HIM PUNCH THAT BAD GUY! HE CAN DROP ANY VILLIAN IN A MINUTE!" The boy shouted as he threw some air punches and air kicks. 'Hieko-chan' giggled and cheered at the boy's antics.

"YEAH! ALL MIGHT IS THE BEST! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE MOVIE TO COME OUT! I WANT TO SEE IT WITH KAZU-CHAN!"

Katsuki guessed that was the boy's name because the boy's face suddenly bursts into a bright shade of red.

"O-Of course! I'm your best friend, baka! W-Why wouldn't I see it with you?!" He grinned with pride. The girl wasn't fazed by the slight insult but instead giggled some more at his comment. The two then went into a more raucous conversation about 'how cool and super powerful All Might is' and 'why he is the best superhero in the world.'

Katsuki stares at the two and was hit by the nostalgia of the scene. Slowly, everyone and every sound around him fade as he keeps his gaze on the two young children.

He's super cool, neh? A feather-like voice giggled in his mind and a hazy image of a radiant, wide smile and glowing, speckled cheeks filled his head.

Immediately, Katsuki chokes at the memory and snaps out of his daydream, his heartbeat filling his ears. He cursed under his breath, snapped his head away from the two brats, and stomped his way back onto his path.

Katsuki decides to deny how much hotter his face suddenly feels and just blames this stupid-ass heatwave.

But then before he gets the chance to cool down, he hears a recognizable yelp of "BAKUBRO!" and gets jumped on from behind.

"Oi, Shitty Hair! Get off! I'm burning up enough as it is!" He yelled at his idiot best friend as he elbows him in the face. Katsuki hopes to God that his best friend's observation skills are below par as usual, and he won't notice the change of color in Katsuki's face.

"OW! Damn, dude! You got my nose!" Eijirou says as he rubs at the sore spot. Katsuki lets out a 'tch' before he looks to his best friend.

"Shut up! You've fucking dealt with worse from me, so stop whining like some wimpy-ass bitch!"

"What's wrong, man? Didn't get your eight hours of sleep? I guess geezers like you can get pretty cranky when you don't go to bed before nine." A laughing Eijirou teased at his blonde firecracker of a best friend.

Katsuki quickly flipped him off before the two kept on their walk to the coffee shop. Secretly, Katsuki was glad that Kirishima managed to come at the right time, so he doesn't drift off into any more pointless daydreams and stupid memories.

"Seriously, though, what's up?" Spoke too soon.

"None of your fucking business, Shitty Hair."

"Eh? Come on, man. You seem a bit hotter under the collar than usual."

"I'm hotter under the collar because of this damn, fucking heatwave! Damn idiot."

Eijirou lets a sigh, deciding not to poke the bear further. "Alright, man. If you say so."

After this little back-and-forth, the two second-year boys get into a discussion about the mixed-martial-arts match the both of them watched last night and boasted how cool and fluid the moves were before they find themselves in front of the 'Kamui Woods' Coffee Shop'.

Both walked into the place and were hit by the overpowering scents of fresh coffee and pastries. Katsuki gagged a bit at the overly sweet pastry scent but is willing to ignore it if it means that he can get his usual Spicy Woodlands coffee drink.

"YO, GUYS, OVER HERE!" A boisterous female voice screams.

Situated over at a giant table in the corner of the shop, there was the rest of Katsuki's idiot gang: Mina Ashido, Denki Kaminari, and Hanta Sero.

Mina waved with no shame at how loud she was being as Denki and Sero hovered over some textbooks and notebooks scattered across the table. Denki looked to be in massive pain as he stared over his textbook, his hand buried in his electric blond hair as he rubbed his head in frustration. Meanwhile, Hanta giggled and snickered at the blonde's situation.

"Dude, I told you not to procrastinate last night with the English homework. It's harder this time." Hanta snickered.

"Bro, I was not gonna waste an opportunity to see Kyouka at that soccer match last night. She looked so damn hot." Denki said with a goofy smile.

"Yeah, but considering English is 1st period, you just screwed yourself."

Denki groans before he slams his forehead into the textbook.

"What up guys!" Kirishima yells back before rushing over to the table. Katsuki takes the opposite approach as he lazily scrolls behind.

As Eijirou reaches the table, he fist-bumps Hanta and drops his backpack beside the table before looking over at Denki.

"...Jirou had a soccer match?"

"Yep and this guy decided he would go and drool over his mad crush and take an L on today's English assignment." Mina giggled mischievously.

"Come on guys, give me a break! You would have done the same thing if you had the chance to watch your girl go kick some ass."

"Would make better sense if she WAS your girlfriend, you fucking idiot." Katsuki snapped as he hovered next to the table.

"So mean! I'm working on it!"

"And that tally is at Month 17 and counting!" Eijirou laughed.

Denki mumbles out a 'fucking traitors' and goes back to trying to figure out Yamada-sensei's boring English work. Mina, Hanta, and Eijirou laugh some more while Katsuki scoffs at the blonde's hole he dug himself into.

"Don't know why you would waste time with something so pointless as romance." He spats out.

Mina and Denki quickly snap their heads up to address their Satan friend.

"ROMANCE ISN'T POINTLESS!" They both cried.

"Guys, remember how you're talking to. This is the same guy who never hesitates to take his lighter out and burn any confession letter he is given." Eijirou explains.

"And most of the time, he does it in front of the person who's confessing." Hanta puts his hand over his chest as a sympathy grab.

"Shut up! I don't have any fucking interest in that type of shit!" He said. Denki just sighs before propping his hand upon his cheek.

"Come on, man. I don't think even you can go through life without some sort of partner. If you do, that's one sad path to go down on."

"I kinda agree, Bakugo, it seems a bit lonely." Hanta chimes in.

"Of course it's sad! How can anyone scoff and give up the opportunity to be with their one-and-only soulmate?!" Mina faked cried with slight tears and hands clenched together.

Eijirou laughed uneasily. "Soulmate is a bit much..."

He then turns to Katsuki and reaches up to clap a hand on his shoulder. "I think you just haven't met the right girl yet, bro! She's out there somewhere!" He encourages with a bright smile.

Katsuki clicked his tongue and smacks off his hand. "Whatever. I'm getting my damn coffee." He spats.

He spins around before stomping over to the front counter, ignoring the gang's continuing conversation about relationships and new hookups this year.

What do love and romance have to do with anything remotely important? Katsuki doesn't need some damn bitch dragging him down with meaningless dates, pointless anniversaries, and overbearing 'pay attention to me!' conversations. All he needs to do is focus on his studies, train, graduate, and climb his way to the top of becoming the youngest MMA fighter to reach number one in the ranks.

You're so brave and cool, Kacchan!

Katsuki freezes and grits his teeth.

Damn it, get out of my fucking head!

"Um...sir? A-Are you okay?" A mousy, fearful voice squeaked out. Katsuki's fog gets clear once again as he looks to see the fidgeting cashier waiting for him to put in his order.

"Spicy Woodlands, medium. Extra hot and extra spicy." He demanded before slapping the money down on the table.

"Y-Yes, sir!" The poor cashier squeaks out before ringing him up and rushing away to get the order done.

Katsuki scoffs before stepping from the counter and gets out his phone to waste time before his drink is ready.

"Oh, ho? Is that you, Bakugo?" A nasal voice drags out.

Katsuki looks up annoyed at the voice and finds some random extras in third-rate school uniforms. The one who spoke out was lanky, pasty-skinned, and oily-looking while the other was short, heavy, and had horrible acne.

"Who the fuck are you, idiots?" He snaps.

The lanky one just lets out an annoying nasal laugh. "Of course, you don't remember me. You are always so self-centered even back in middle school."

At the mention of middle school, Katsuki freezes before anger starts to bubble. "Listen, fuckfaces, I don't know who the hell you are, and I couldn't care less about what you want, so get out of my face before I destroy you." The heavier set friend was a little fearful at the threat and put his hands up in surrender. "Y-Yeah, of course, dud-de! N-no problem!" He said before he tugged on his friend's arm. "Tadami, stop it..." He whispers.

"Oh, but Daichi, you have to hear about the great Bakugo Katsuki! He was pretty famous back in the days, you know?" Katsuki's stomach dropped at the tone in his voice. "He was famous since back in grade school in fact!" Oh, this shit-stain wasn't going there, was he? Katsuki started to see flashes of red as the brave soul kept talking.

"Back when we were nine, he told some girl to go off herself and you know what? She disappeared the very next day! Weird, right?" he explained. Katsuki tightened the grip on his phone. "Maybe she actually went and did what he said? It wouldn't surprise me, I mean he did bully and beat her up every single day..." He smirked.

Katsuki's insides started to melt and burn as memories started to flood him full-force. Memories of a small crying girl covered with scrapes and cuts while a boy laughed cruelly with pride at the pain in her big, doe eyes.

Daichi froze at the story and looked between his friend and Katsuki before he swallowed. "Ta-Tadami, let's just go, dude..." He offered meekly.

Tadami just shrugs with another smirk and walks pass Katsuki with a bump to the shoulder before he and his friend left the shop.

Katsuki stood there unmoving only breaking out of it when the cashier brought him his coffee in a wood textured mug. He grabs it from them with a slight, soft 'thanks' before just continuing to stand there and stare into the brown, scorching liquid.

A hand clapped upon his back for the third time that day by Eijirou.

"Hey, dude, what's takin-" He stopped when he sees the brooding look on Katsuki's face. "Bakugo? Are you alright?" He says with genuine worry.

Katsuki just offers a twitch of a nod.

"I'm fine."

[on-stand-bi-help]

So I this are just a bunch of texts that I sent my cousin and I thought why not post it on Tumblr as well!

Please do not take this seriously this is just some really bad comedy. Hope you enjoy. (Also this does have swear words and I mean a lot of swear words so you have been warned.)

Ok I haven’t edit this at all so sorry for my grammar and sorry if this doesn’t make sense

So a new MLB episode came out and it’s a special? Idk to be honest but here are my thoughts cause I want you to watch it! So there is a fucking new intro! It reminds me of the old Barbie movies intros not gonna lie but I guess it’s kinda cool.

Ok so their flying abilities or powers or whatever look really weird and I don’t like them. Alya showing the camera back and forth gave me a headache.

Ok but Ladybugs knowing about roses and their meanings gives me fanfic vibes not gonna lie. Chat trying his best too whoo Ladybug and respecting their boundaries (which she made by the way) freaking adorable not gonna lie. Chat being flustered fuck I just realized how much I missed him. Ugh Ladybug’s soft look and as soon as she leaves Chat’s soft look fuck they are adorable omg. Ok Chat saying that he needs to give himself some flowers cause he is amazing. 100% agree 10/10 you deserve it. TREAT YO SELF!

Ugh definitely did not miss Marinette’s obsession with Adrien omg. She’s really trying to lie to tikki bro you’re with her all the time. You can’t lie to her plus she’s been alive since the beginning of the universe and you’re telling me you are honestly trying to lie to her. God damnit Marinette you are such a dumbass.

LMAO THE STUDENT FILM OH MY FUCKING GOD!! THAT’S SO FUNNY!

God damn I saw on tumblr people comparing Draco to Chloe and I’m like bro Draco is a meme and a great character. Chloe is a bitch who is so fucking annoying.

OMG THE TEACHER IS PREGNANT ALL SHE HAD TO SAY WAS I HAVE MEDICAL EXAMS AND I KNEW!!! FUCKKKK YESSSS A RED HEADED BABY!!!

Can you imagine there is a whole episode where the class has to take care of the baby (for whatever reason) and all of them freaking out cause this baby is too precious and Alya coming in and saving the day and being like guys calm down. It’s all good. Nino fucking going soft trying to help Alya as best as he can. Marinette and Adrien never doing this before so both of them are super flustered and nervous! God I WOULD LITERALLY KILL FOR THAT EPISODE NOW HOLY SHIT!!!

Ok damn Kim really ain’t holding back like chill dude. He really just told the principal that the science teacher isn’t cool. You tell that to your friends not the fucking principal. You dumbass.

LILA IS HERE FUCK!!! God not only do I have to deal with Chloe’s bullshit but Lila’s too omg. Ok idk if it’s the website that I’m watching it in but their voices sound weird and I hope it’s just the website and not the actual episode.

Marinette shut the fuck up ADRIEN WAS TALKING BITCH!!! YOU INTERRUPTED HIM!!! Lmao nice save Marinette talking about the film to distract everyone from the fact that you like Adrien. GOD DAMNIT ADRIEN’S SOFT LOOK FUCK!!! HE LOVES HER SO MUCH BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW IT YET OMG!!! GOD DAMN!!! Lmao Lila’s face! Yeah fuck you Lila! Bitchass!

So Marinette is telling everyone that she is over Adrien. Alya isn’t falling for this bullshit! Love that. Marinette, why are you lying just ask them to help you move on. Like I can see the effort but I don’t understand why you are lying about it if you aren’t completely over him. Like bruh. ALEX REALLY SAID “No kidding” to when Marinette said that she was acting crazy. YES ALEX QUEEN! CALL HER OUT! Marinette saying that she just wants to be friends with him and not in love with him. (ARE WE FINALLY GETTING THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT THAT WE ALL DESERVE HOLY SHIT IM LIVING!) Nope nvm she’s still on her bullshit. Did Alya just say that if Marinette will be ok with her and Adrien going to New York together because it may be too romantic. Like Bitch YOU GUYS LIVE IN PARIS! I'M SURE SHE WILL BE FINE!

FUCK YOU GABRIEL!! DIDN’T MISS YOU AT ALL YOU FUNKY ASS BITCH!!!

BRUH ANOTHER MIRACULOUS FOR REAL!!!

DAMN! Lmao Marinette trying to look tough that’s so funny to me! Who you trying to scare bitch cause you ain’t fooling anyone. Bruh Gabriel really friendzoned Marinette for Adrien lmao! Omg I love that. Fuck. I hate Gabriel so much.

I DIDN’T KNOW KIGMA WAS GOING TO BE IN THIS EPISODE!! YAY! EW WTF DID SHE JUST KISS HIM! ARE YOU KIDDING! WAIT WHEN DID THEY GET TOGETHER!! WTF! I DON’T REMEMBER THIS!

Marinette you are so annoying. Where’s Ladybug?! SHE’S SO MUCH BETTER! HOLY SHIT IT’S LADYBUG! OK BUT THAT SCENERY LOOKS SO ROMANTIC! Wait yeah both of them are going to New York like who is going to protect the city?! Oh shit nvm I’m a dumbass hawk moth is going too. Lmao! I’m an idiot! Ok BUT THAT WEIRD BUTTON THING IS ADORABLE OMG!!! AWWW! LIKE WTF!! I WANT ONE! BRUH HOW CAN SHE NOT LIKE CHAT NOIR WTF IS WRONG WITH HER!!! GODAMNIT!

Gabriel really said Surprise bitch to Adrien lmao. Damn poor Gorilla. I can’t believe he still doesn’t have a fucking name godamnit. Lmao I love plagg. Ew god damnit fuck you GABRIEL!

OMG LUKAAAAA! Marinette fucking date him already wtf. He is literally biking your stupid ass to catch up to the bus. GOD LUKA DESERVES BETTER! Marinette you always fucking ruin the moment fuck you. Fuck you. AGAIN LUKA DESERVES BETTER! Luka honey no don’t look at her like that you deserve better. Flashback to the perks of being a wallflower quote, “We accept the love we think we deserve” FUCK YOU BRAIN WHY YOU DO ME LIKE THIS!!

ALYA IS A TRUE FRIEND!!! Bro my friends would be laughing their ass off and making funny faces at the window instead of asking the teachers to stop the bus. HE WAS CARRYING HER SUITCASE TOO OMG! BRO LUKA HAS SOME STRONG ASS LEGS LIKE DAMN!!! Luka then says, “You know what’s important Marinette, that this trip gives you some clarity.” PLEASE GOD THAT SHE FALLS FOR CAT NOIR!!! PLEASE THAT SHE STARTS LIKING HIM!!! PLEASE! BITCH WHY KISS HIM ON THE CHEEK OMG WHY?! He likes you and you decide to kiss him on the cheek. Bro you are just making him fall for you more. Goddammit you are an idiot.

Bruh one look at Adrien and she becomes a tomato god damn. Am I being hard on Marinette cause she reminds me of me. NO WTF!!! Shut up! (At least I’m not a stalker or someone who gets obsessed with my crush in obnoxious ways.)

FUCK YOU CHLOE WE DIDNT WANT YOU TO COME YOU STUPID HOEEE!!!

I JUST REALIZED THIS IS A MOVIE!!! 12 minutes in and I just realized this is a movie. I AM AN IDIOT!!! God I’m so dumb lol. Ok this animation not gonna lie is kinda good.

He really yelled at Marinette in front of everybody in a plane huh. That’s so funny. Also he sounded like such a jock like wtf was that. Lmao Alya and Nino just looking at them like yessss our ship!!! (Alya and Nino are such a mood) This movie is literally like a fucking fan fiction. Adrien, “Oh yeah you’re sitting next to me!” Marinette fucking panicking. Omg this is literally a fanfic. I can’t! I love this omg. I LOVE ALYA SO MUCH OMG!!! Did Marinette just call Adrien her husband. YOU’RE LIKE 14 SHUT UP!!! PLEASE!!! How can you confuse husband with friend. Ok this just confirms that Marinette constantly daydreams to herself and tells herself that Adrien is her husband. Girl, GIRL YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HIM VERY WELL. SHE’S NOT EVEN IN LOVE SHE’S JUST FASCINATED WITH THE IDEA OF HIM. Ugh this is why I don’t like the idea of Marinette and Adrien or Ladybug and Adrien being together. Like she barely knows him and she counts that as love. Jesus. Lmao Gorilla has and will always ship Marinette and Adrien together. You can not change my mind.

Brooo if Marinette had a penis she would definitely have gotten a boner when Adrien fell on her. WHY IS MARINETTE LIKE THIS?! (Ok yes if my crush not that I have one but if I did I would probably do all the shit she is doing but I wouldn’t run away I would fucking just be in shock and freeze. Probably idk. THIS IS GIVING ME TO MUCH SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ACT NORMAL FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE.) Did Alya just say that “New York is the most romantic place in the world!” AGAIN YOU LIVE IN PARIS!!! OH SHIT NVM. I paused it too soon. She continues by saying, “After Paris obviously.” Ok my bad. Ok are we talking about the same New York cause New York isn’t that romantic. Then again what do I know. Marinette FUCK YOU!!! YOU COULD HAVE SAT WITH ADRIEN AND NOW YOU HAVE TO SIT WITH THE FUCKING PRINCIPLE. Lmao this is giving me fucking Spider-Man Far From Home flashbacks. Bro Adrien looks so disappointed. FUCK YOU MARINETTE! Bro gorilla is such a mood. Putting a 10 for both having a fear of flying and for needing relaxation. Wait why doesn’t he have eyebrows? I just realized that. I mean I knew but like I didn’t realize idk if that makes sense.

Dude the principal sleeping on Marinette THAT HAPPENED IN FAR FROM HOME!!! Wait a damn minute in Far From Home Peter lives in New York and goes somewhere in Europe (I forgot where) AND MARINETTE LIVES IN FRANCE AND SHE GOES TO NEW YORK!!! Not only that but these are both superhero movies and they are both in love with someone except here Marinette is trying to get over Adrien while Peter Parker was trying to win over MJ. OK SOMEONE ON THE CREATIVE TEAM LITERALLY WATCHED FAR FROM HOME AND SAID YES LET’S DO THIS BUT THE OPPOSITE. I CAN’T THIS IS SO FUNNY!

AWWWW Alya and Nino sleeping on each other IS EVERYTHING!!! I SHIP THEM SO MUCH!!! IVAN AND MYLENE TOO!!! THEY REALLY WANT TO KILL ME HUH!? WAIT ROSE AND JUELKA FUCK YESSS THE GAYS ARE WINNING!!! MY MULTISHIPPER HEART CAN’T TAKE THIS MUCH POWER ALL IN A MATTER OF SECONDS!!! THIS IS BEAUTIFUL!!!

Dude I literally thought she said shit for a second I WAS LIKE WHAT?! But she said shoot. I really hope that’s not toilet water on her shirt. MARINETTE YOU HAVE A NAPKIN? OR TOILET PAPER ON YOUR HAIR?! GET THAT SHIT OUT OF THERE?!

Awww the sunset is so pretty. And Adrien is going to come in 3 2 1. Right on time. Adrien, “It's beautiful isn’t it?” I’m expecting Marinette to say, “Yeah but so are you.” and immediately regretting afterwards. Nvm she trips on him instead. Should have seen that coming. Ok now they are looking out the window again. This frame would be so cute if she didn’t have that stupid Toilet paper in her hair. Bruh Adrien just stands next to her and doesn’t even mention the Toilet paper on her hair. Adrien be like, “Yup just me and my fashionista friend Marinette looking at the window. Oh she has a piece of toilet paper in her hair. Damn must be a new trend I don’t know about. That’s kinda sus cause I am a model but whatever she knows more about fashion then I do so it’s all good.” (Not an actual quote.) Damn Alya and Nino ship them so much. Ok but what a mood!

Adrien says, “You're always willing to take a chance on something or someone even when no one else is.” Yeah bruh it’s because she is ladybug, I mean come on how do you not realize. Adrien really smirked at her whole shit! Adrien continues by saying, “You got something Marinette.” Marinette asks, “Something?” WAIT HOLD UP ISN’T HE DATING KAGAMI!!! WAIT IS MARINETTE A HOMEWRECKER!!! I’m kidding. Ok not really. Wait is Adrien a cheater like what?! Adrien continues by saying, “Yeah there in your hair.” He grabs the fucking piece of toilet paper. I LITERALLY FORGOT IT WAS THERE AND I BURST OUT LAUGHING!!! GOD I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!!

Alya is a mood, “I can’t decide if they are the cutest people I know or the most embarrassing.” Literally me whenever I watch Miraculous ladybug. Also this literally sounds like something fanfic Alya would say. Not canon Alya. But I really love how they let Alya say that. Good call team! Omg Nino continues with, “Yeah I love Adrien but he is like a baby chick that just started cracking out of his egg he has a hard time understanding the signals people send them.” THIS LITERALLY SOUNDS LIKE A FANFIC AND I LOVE IT!!! OMG!!! I LOVE OPERATION NEW YORK OMG!!! YESSSSSSSS!!! ALYA AND NINO ARE LITERALLY OUR SAVIORS!!! GOD DAMN I LOVE THEM!!! ADRIEN HUGGED HER AWWWWW!!! I LOVE HIM!

THERE’S ANOTHER SUPER VILLAIN WTF!!! He really wants to kill the people huh. I mean he must be pure evil cause he literally is tearing the airplane apart. He really said: There's tons of people in this airplane huh. Welp I really need this technology so I guess they have to die!

DUDE WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GIRL? I can’t tell if she is a robot or a superhero! MAYBE BOTH!!! ALYA IS SUCH A SUPERHERO NERD I LOVE HER!!! OK this other girl superhero is literally captain marvel. She’s not Majestia (idk if that’s how you spell it) nah she’s captain marvel. LMAO WHEN CAPTAIN MARVEL MAKES AN APPEARANCE IN THE MLB MOVIE AND DOESN’T HAVE THE AUDACITY TO HELP OUT PETER PARKER IN HIS FIELD TRIP!! DAMN!!! SHE REALLY SAID FUCK YOU PETER! MLB FANDOM NEEDS ME MORE THAT YOU DO!! LIKE GURL PETER IS HAVING AN EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN CAUSE HIS 3rd father figure died!!! Then again she is saving an airplane fool of people but I’m sure you could have made a quick stop to give Peter some advice but whatever.

God I hate the principal.

CAPTAIN MARVEL REALLY SAID I HAVE TO SAVE MY ROBOT WIFE FROM THAT BOMB!! And she fucking blew the bomb away from her face. DUDE THERE IS SO MANY NEW SUPERHEROES HOLY CRAP!!! Ok including the Captain Marvel and the robot there’s 2 more but that’s more than Paris soooooo. WAIT CAPTAIN MARVEL JUST CALLED HER ROBOT DARLING!!! I was joking, I didn’t think they were together. OK I SHIP IT! Captain Marvel, “Are you alright darling?” (Giving me Spinderella and Netasha vibes not gonna lie) STOPPED IT TOO SOON!!! ROBOT JUST CALLED CAPTAIN MARVEL HER MOTHER!!! ABORT ABORT SHIP!!! I regret making all the comments that I just have made. So ignore them. I no longer ship them. Aw they have such a quote MOTHER AND DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP!!! They are hugging each other. Adorable.

Bruh Adrien and Marinette are talking openly to plagg and tikki like could you guys be more obvious. Like shut up.

So apparently there’s a superhero for everything in USA. Um I wish if there was USA wouldn’t be as shitty as it is now.

I love Nino and Alya, that's all I’m going to say.

Also the superheros have a code word for the French students and it’s literally ‘the little croissants’ I LOVE THAT OMG!!! WHO CAME UP WITH THAT CODE CAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!”

Ok turns out Robot girl can actually turn into a regular girl. SO THAT’S COOL!

How is it possible that Adrien and Marinette can’t figure out how the doors work like what?! Ok why the fuck is Adrien constantly catching Marinette every time she falls. Like he isn’t even close to her and he fucking races and catches her. Right he obviously doesn’t like her. Yup I definitely believe that bullshit.

Lmao the robot girl took one look at dumbass Marinette and stupidass Adrien and said, “Those 2 are made for each other.” That’s so funny. Ok robot girl is friends with a girl that has some weird ass earrings (dare I say lesbian). And they both are in school so I’m pretty sure they are the same age. SO I SHIP THEM!!! Grumpy girlfriend and super happy robot girlfriend. ADORABLE!

Lmao they are already going to a party bruh. They just got off of a plane and they almost died. And you’re telling me that they aren’t slightly jet lagged or even a little tired. Bruh come on.

DAMN SABRINA IS GONNA GET A LOVE INTEREST OKKKKKKKK!!! He literally winked at her and she went bright red. DAMN GURL GET IT!!! CHLOE FUCK OFF!!! SABRINA IS GONNA GO FLIRT WITH THE GUY AND NOT BE YOUR STUPID ASSISTANT!!! FUCK YOU!!! GOD DAMNIT CHLOE, SABRINA, MARINETTE AND ALYA ARE ROOMATES BRUHHHHH!!! (And they were roommates- OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES NOT NOW BRAIN PLEASE)

Bro the teacher looks at the hallway and nods cause she notices that all the lights are off in the room and no one is talking and she leaves. And immediately all the doors open and everyone is sneaking off to the party. BROOO THIS REMINDS ME OF NHI LOL!!! So the teacher suddenly pops out and asks what’s that noise and they all go into different rooms. The teacher doesn’t notice. And of course Marinette goes into the room with Adrien but on accident, and for a second I thought she was touching his pee pee but no she was just touching his lower stomach lol. They both look at each other and Marinette gets flustered and Adrien smiles softly at her. And she immediately gets away from him and they end up in the same room as ROBOT GIRL AND HER LESBIAN GIRLFRIEND!!! Robot girl is shipping them so hard while her girlfriend is glaring at them.

HER GIRLFRIEND CAN PLAY GUITAR YESSSSS!!!

SABRINA GO TO THE PARTY PLEASE!!! DITCH CHLOE!!! FLIRT WITH THE AMERICAN!!! THE AMERICAN IS FUCKING STANDING OUTSIDE THE WINDOW!!! WAITING FOR HER OMG!!! He takes her hand AND TAKES HER TO THE ROOF PARTY!!! FUCK I SHIP THEM SO HARD!!!

Omg the dialogue in this movie is fucking amazing. Marinette says, “Is it a bird?” Adrien, “Is it a plane?” Sabrina’s soon to be boyfriend, “No IT’S HOT DOG DAN!” Like bitch why is the hot dog cart flying like wtf?! Dude is this how French people see Americans because you know what?! THAT SOUNDS about right. If USA ever gets superhero’s we PROBABLY WOULD HAVE A SUPERHERO WHO SERVES FUCKING HOT DOGS!!! Damn this movie is pretty fucking realistic. The Americans are fucking thirsty for some hot dogs they literally run over Adrien and Marinette like damn ok yes a lot of Americans like hot dogs but we aren’t animals. Turns out the hot dogs are magical. ROSE LITERALLY GOT SUPER STRENGTH AND WAS ABLE TO LIFT UP IVAN!!! QUEEN!!! AW Sabrina got long ass hair like Rapunzel but it’s brown for some reason.

There’s 2 hot dogs left and Nino take initiative and pays for the hot dog and says, “Not a problem. My girl and I can have one and you 2 can have the other.” Damn this really is a fanfic huh. Then again I doubt a fanfic would have them sharing a fucking magical hot dog. Lol! This movie is nuts. They ate the hot dogs (nvm they took a bite of the hotdog and they dropped it on the floor) and they started floating. They grab hands and they are trying not to freak out.

Meanwhile ALYA AND NINO ALL THE FUCKING GET IS THESE HIGH PITCHED VOICES LIKE BRUH. Also Nino ships them so much omg! BRUH HOT DOG DAN EVEN SHIPS THEM! I mean he doesn’t say anything he just looks at them and smiles.

Omg Alya asked Robot’s girlfriend to set the mood with a song! And Robot’s girlfriend is like yeah sure thing. This movie is surreal.

THE SONG IS LITERALLY THE SONG THAT THEY DANCED TOO AT CHLOE’S PARTY OMG!!! I can’t believe I remembered that.

Bruh Adrien literally just repeated what I typed. HE JUST ASKED MARINETTE IF SHE COULD DANCE WITH HIM!!! They are floating and the moon is shining bright on them (Nice job Yue; setting the scene for us I see) and he extends his hand. She starts floating backwards cause she’s freaking out (What a surprise 😒). He grabs her hand and brings her closer to him. WHAT FANFIC AUTHOR WAS ABLE TO GET A FUCKING HIGH BUDGET TO MAKE THIS MOVIE BECAUSE THIS DOESNT FEEL LIKE AN MLB EPISODE!!!

ALSO Marinette is looking at Adrien in a way that makes her look like a Tim burton cartoon character lol. SHE FINALLY GIVES IN AND DANCES WITH HIM IN FRONT OF THE MOON!!! (They aren’t even dancing to be honest they are literally just hugging each other really closely and spinning) BUT ITS ADORABLE SO I FORGIVE THEM!

Lmao they zoom out of the roof party and you just see in the fucking corner Kim and some other dude having a push-up contest. They showed that in the beginning when Alya, Nino, Marinette and Adrien were entering the party. I just wasn’t expecting that in this whole time Kim and the other guy still continued the push-up contest omg. (This is the first 29 minutes and my hand is tired sooo I’m not gonna write anymore)

If anyone wants me to continue I will but I doubt anybody is going to see this post so yeah! Anyway if someone actually read this PROPS TO YOU DUDE!!! HOPE I DIDNT WASTE YOUR TIME!!! HAVE A GOOD YEAR!!!

Edit: I think Robot girl and girl with weird earrings are sisters soooooo I don’t ship them anymore. (I’m honestly really confused are they siblings or not?!)

[carlosjillgivemelife]

First time he...

So naughty headcanon. Carlos finally goes down on Jill, because the man loves her. Loved her since she drove off the fucking parking garage and into Nemesis. Anyways, it’s long. Tell me what you think--

So the first time that Carlos does go down on Jill, it’s emotional. Not for him in the sense, I mean he enjoys what he’s able to do for Jill and wants her to feel amazing!! More so for Jill. Jill isn’t one to have one night stands, she’s not one to hop into relationships easily. She’s a woman who is a military veteran, she’s former RPD, and member of S.T.A.R.S. All of that leaves her with a lot of emotional scars, and mental trauma from what she’s lived through and seen. She’s also very self reliant and independent. So when it comes to something like oral sex being performed on her, she’s resistant to the idea. She’s been through Hell and back, and is Supercop! As much as she is incredibly brave, and tough; these things never come without consequences. So, she’s self-conscious. 

Getting her to confess her attraction and feelings to Carlos was one thing! Letting him travel down her body with slow kisses, while making sure she is okay is a total different creature! 

(Small moment of appreciating our boy Carlos, and respecting Jill’s obvious lack of consent, and when she gives him consent. He is beautiful and I’ll fight Nemesis myself for him to be happy with Jill.)

Back on topic. When Jill finally lets Carlos go down on her, it’s when they are dating. Sex has been great, sure. But, Carlos is a smart man and he knows that she still has her guard up. She’s waiting for the world to implode, and for everything to come crashing down around them. He approaches that he’d like to satisfy her gently. He has seen it in her blue eyes how quickly she can shut herself down to the ideas of pleasure, and when she is not totally in control. It’s something that frightens her, and also means she’s vulnerable to someone else. Which let’s face it- Jill hates being vulnerable and feeling like she can’t immediately protect herself. It’s when it’s at night, and they are cuddled in bed that he asks her. He wants her to be when she’s most relaxed, and less likely to try and find a reason to deny herself anything that is meant to give her that pleasure. She deserves to feel beautiful, and to know he thinks she’s beautiful even if she doesn’t believe that she is worthy. Despite the fact she’s saved him, and she was the one to come crashing into his life (literally!) She deserves everything, and he wants to give her that. 

Our boy Carlos has planned this out! When she starts to say no, and become self-conscious to the whole idea he assures her. “Jill. It’s us. It’s only us. You can trust me. You tell me to stop, and I’ll stop,” He may or may not have used those big honey-ember colored eyes on her. 

She finally agrees to it, repeating his words, “You’ll stop if I tell you to stop?” There is fear in her words. It’s not over the fact that he’ll not stop, but there’s more to this than just the simple act of oral sex and pleasure. This is trust. This is allowing for him to do something for her with nothing expected in return. He simply wants for her to feel good, to disarm her thoughts of having to always keep herself guarded and protected. It’s a sense of vulnerability and allowing that to happen! 

He’s slow, he starts with kissing her. It’s sweet and gentle, granted he’s damn near shaking with anticipation and excitement. It’s a kiss that is slow, where he feels her sigh, and muscles relax beneath him. When he finally moves away from her lips, he’s along her jaw, her neck. He’s touching her body gently. Over each scar his fingertips travel, each hard corded muscle she’s earned through training. There is absolutely no rush in what he’s doing. Carlos KNOWS if he dares to go faster than what she anticipates, this will be last chance he gets to show her how absolutely much he loves her. He has an almost laziness when he removes her shirt, he doesn’t rip it off her as fast as he can. He helps to take it off her like it truly is no big deal, it’s just one of his shirts, nothing to be alarmed about seeing her naked skin and breasts. She’s beautiful, even when she is already ramping up to become defensive, and hide herself. 

He assures her with nuzzling her breast, rubbing his cheek and face along her skin that it’s okay. “Breathe. It’s just us. Dogs are asleep, neighborhood is safe, no one is coming. You and me. There you go,” he’s really calm, and he only goes further when he feels her release a shaking breath, fully. When she does, he’s gentle along her nipples. Fingertips brushing back and forth slow stimulation, again nothing rushed. He watches how she reacts to that alone; deep breaths adjusting against him, soft pink flush spreading across her chest, her face, and the rest of the body. When he sees that she’s responding without resistance to that, or showing that she’s not afraid he then gentle uses his tongue and lips along her nipples. 

Languid. Slow. He has all the time in the world, he wants her to be relaxed and ready. He doesn’t move from one breast till he feels her arching up against him, and feels the pressure of her breast being pushed towards his mouth. That’s when he slowly crawls over to the next one. Jill is ticklish, and fuck she hates it. But, he does like to watch the faint squirm when his dark prickly beard rubs against her skin, and hears her protesting moan. 

“That tickles...” she’s breathy, but she’s not pushing him off and she’s responding positively. 

Carlos always grins when he hears this. She knows. He finds it endearing when she reacts in such a way. He doesn’t continue it, he doesn’t need to irritate her, he simply wants her to enjoy it. Onto the next nipple he goes. When he’s through with that nipple, he earns a sighed moan. She’s not fully allowing herself to experience all the pleasures that he wants for her to have. But! He earned a moan, even though it was a sigh and not fully released as she’s trying to keep control over herself; it was something. 

Carlos moves down along her belly, it’s with soft kisses, never anything sloppy and wet. He’s not a dog, he’s not going to lap at her like some mongrel. She’s delicious, and beautiful! He’s going to enjoy himself like this is the last feast he shall ever have. When he is around her hips, he doesn’t remove her panties immediately. He’s waiting for the invitation, for her willingness of lifting her hips up to him. So, for the moment he simply spends time rubbing at her thighs, at her hips, running his fingers delicately up from her knees to the point of her pelvis. He’s watching her legs, and the way her belly rises and falls with each breath. Each breath she takes is a little deeper, little more ragged and she’s starting to squirm a bit impatiently. It’s good though; her face is flushed and eyes are becoming intoxicated with vulnerable pleasure. So again he goes, up and down from her knees to her hips, slowly inching his way along to her inner thigh. Even then along that soft flesh he doesn’t give her what she’s desperately wanting. This is not simply fucking, this is not having routine sex. This is so much more for him, this is so much more for her. She’s starting to show reluctant release of control, and he’s relishing in it! 

Oh Carlos, you’re hopeless! Because he really does make sure to drive her senses wild! Up along from mid thigh, to almost touching where she’s wet and ready for him. Building that anticipation, building that desire to be further touched, and building that irritation that he doesn’t quite give her what she wants. It’s delectable! It’s evil! God she’s so beautiful to him when he watches how she takes a breath, and is squirming under him. Good! She’s showing further willingness and he keeps going. He keeps teasing, he keeps building that anticipation that mounts higher and higher. Up and down again, along her hips he follows and repeats the slow circle, then to the next thigh that he had been ignoring.

Jill’s starting to find her mind a mess of emotions. She’s impatient, she’s enjoying herself, she’s pissed, oh God don’t stop, get to the point- it’s a cocktail mixture of everything building up in her mind and she can’t pick which one to stick with. She’s moaning a little easier now, little fuller and deeper. She’s almost bashful with opening her eyes, and turning her gaze down onto him. It’s that sense of vulnerability and allowing herself to trust his intentions and not find her broken. It’s allowing herself to be in that moment, and feel everything that is happening in that moment. Not the next moment, not the moment before that. Just at the present moment when it’s simply her and him. There’s something about that which truly disarms her, and is almost terrifying. She’s not in control of her body’s response, and that pisses her off! Maybe it’s the way he looks up at her, his cheek resting lazily along her thigh, eyes drunkenly in love and full of fiery desire. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t want him to stop, and that’s equally as scary. 

And again goes his fingers, guiding and brushing up along her inner thigh higher this time... but not quite the sweet spot! Jill is writhing and twitching. She’s moving her hips, trying to physically and non-verbally demand him to touch her. He won’t. He’s not going to yet, though he knows if he did, he’d find out how wet she is and yearning for him. That alone is so powerful and arousing for him. That he can cause this, that he makes her want him and only him. That she’s gifted him this moment and time where he can express his love on her, and damnit! This is the perfect time to take all the sweet ass time in the world. Finally though he does relent, and he brushes his fingers up along her. She’s wet through her panties, and she’s gasping and she mewls in delight. Fuck- that’s hot! He doesn’t take her panties off yet, nah, friction and that building again of intimate anticipation. He’s watching her, waiting for her to lift her hips and to hear a moan that tells him to please take off those soaked panties! 

Jill’s still fighting for mental control over herself. Never has she found herself to feel this good, not till she met and has been with Carlos. He’s pressing into her, fingers guiding over the texture of cotton panties, and always not quite there. She wants this to be over with, experience that high, then roll away and allow herself to feel guilty that she could enjoy herself so fully. But no, he won’t let her. Again there is the pressure of his index finger and middle finger, following up along her, pressing in at her clit and then moving away. Slow, and leisurely. God damnit! She’s so impatient, and she wants more. He won’t give it to her, yet. There’s something about feeling his breath hot across the inside of her thighs, and the scratching of his dark beard that almost undoes her. He’s so close, and she is so vulnerable and feels as if she’s on fire! So many damn emotions, so many thoughts that she finds them all muddled. She has her eyes closed, she can’t bear to open her eyes and look down at him. What’s more irritating for her, she feels her lashes are wet with tears. I promise you this! She’s not going to shed a god damn tear... so she keeps those eyes closed- for now! But when she feels him again blowing air gently along her thighs, and over where his fingers had been rubbing- she finally lifts up her hips. 

Carlos has to push her hands away from her panties; he wants to be the one to unwrap his present, to show himself what he’s been waiting for. He sits back on his knees and helps to slide her panties over her leg, and even helps guiding her feet through. She’s naked before him, flushed, and squirming. Beautiful. Perfect. She’s made for him, and fuck he couldn’t be any harder than he already is. He’s still in his sweats. He doesn’t sleep in a shirt since usually irritates him and at some point in the night he’d just end up taking it off. But there’s something primal, and raw with her being naked and allowing him to view her in a soft light. He sees her not as a survivor, broken, or a fighter. He sees only Her. All her flaws. All her perfections. He’s hungry. 

When I said earlier that he was shaking with excitement, Carlos is damn near an earthquake at this point! He’s so fucking excited, he’s so hard, he wants her to scream his name and pull his hair! But, he’s slow with his approach when he does begin to shoulder his way between her thighs. Correction he doesn’t “shoulder” himself between her thighs. He settles himself comfortably between, and drapes her calves over his broad shoulders. He’s watching her again, waiting for her to shut this shit down! He rubs the outside of her thighs, gently. 

“Is this okay?” He wants to make sure she’s comfortable. There’s something about it though that sets fire to his soul when he hears her say yes. It’s not yeah, it’s not sure- it’s yes! 

When he watches her laying back a little more heavily into the pillows, her head rolling back and forth and her body arching beneath him it does something to him. He wants her to feel this constantly. He wants her to know how he will think on this moment forever. She’s quivering, and her eyes are shut. She’s grasping onto the fitted sheet beneath her, and her legs are flexing against his shoulders. He’s doing this to her, and god damn, this was what he was meant for. 

Carlos doesn’t want to shock her yet, he doesn’t want to surprise her to a point where she reels back from him. First it’s his fingers testing her. It’s a god damn compliment that she’s so wet for him, that he made her this wet! He has to stop himself from beginning his feast to feed his soul. It takes so much control to keep him from diving forward into her. He uses his index finger to gently follow along her lips, up and down gentle, not yet pushing. He gets to feel her skin, he gets to feel how slick she is before he presses closer. How she moans? He’s never heard something so beautiful before. Raw, aching, and coming from her lips? He caused that, and he wants to hear that sound again! He pushes past her lips, and is against her clit, a slow circle that is soft and light along that sensitive nub. There’s that moan again! How the fire within him burns hotter when he hears it! 

He spends time there, slow circles that switch back and forth. Over his shoulders he feels her legs twitching, slightest pressure from her calves that urge him closer. He defies her from that, and wants to watch how she breathes, and how her head rolls back into the pillow. He leaves her clit alone, and again allows his fingers to run along her, gentle and exploring her far more than he ever has been able to. She’s beautiful, ever god damn inch. Every scar, every small bump of cellulite, every part of her that isn’t perfect with an even complexion. She’s a work of fucking art, god he’s lucky! So god damn lucky to be between her thighs, and have her trust. 

He teases at her entrance with his fingers, slight pressure as if he’s going to penetrate her. But, he never does. It’s there, and gone. Almost-almost! Then he draws away. She’s irritated, in a delicious way. That makes him grin watching her sighing impatiently. Her hands releasing and gripping the sheet again, and again. It’s a slow torture he wants her to have, and to be left shaking after. Again his fingers are there, pressure that almost pushes his index finger into her shaking core. Away he goes again. 

“Please,” she begs. That- fuck he thought the moans were beautiful, that could have had him undone himself! But, who is he to deny a lady?

He slips a finger inside her, slowly coaxing her with a bent motion. Come hither, my love. He wants it said through his fingers, and it’s heard. She does. She’s pushing her hips up towards him, her thighs are tightening on his shoulder. She’s soaking his finger that is bent inward to her, slowly moving, watching each emotion come undone on her face. Slowly he pushes two fingers into her, and the moans and gasps are truly heaven sent! He’s the maestro of this orchestra of sounds he causes from her. He conducts the symphony that has never sounded so sweet, and so beautiful before. He’s turning his wrist, his drawing art inside her soul. He’s creating something to be branded to his soul to follow him forever. He is the artist, and she’s the art that he watches come to life. God damn she’s beautiful. 

When he feels her muscles constricting around his fingers, beginning to quiver at hinted orgasm; he withdraws his fingers. There is a huff from Jill. She’s irritated! She was wanting that release, and he denies her that?! It’s cute to Carlos to watch her eyes open, and stare up at the ceiling ready to say something sarcastic to him. He doesn’t even want to allow her that to be had. Nah, he’s going to deny her that comment that is at the tip of her tongue. Because he’s going to rob her senses, and her mind with the tip of his tongue. Finally he gets to taste the decadent dessert that is waiting for him. It’s the tip of his tongue drawing from her core up to her clit. Jill was ready to say something, but it’s totally gone! Her mind has been erased, and she’s arching almost violently upward. 

On Carlos’s tongue she’s sweet, far sweeter than any honey or wine he’s ever had. Watching her body writhe, an her eyes fall shut is utterly insane. He’s causing this, he’s doing this to her, and he wants to watch her come undone. He wants her to release all frustrations against his mouth, and on his tongue. He wants for her to moan only his name. Again he delves into her with his tongue, and she’s gasping as if she finally broke the waters surface and can draw breath. It’s a violent delight to feel her beneath him, her legs clamping tighter to his shoulders, and able to taste what is his. He finally is upon her with his mouth. His beard irritates her skin, and his lips are speaking a foreign language that is only meant for her. 

It’s against her clit, it’s against her aching entrance to her soul, it’s along lips that are tormented with his cheeks that brush his facial hair against her. It’s his fingers coaxing her open, and helping to draw patterns along her. Further he explores, the further she’s lost. He’ll guide her from being lost. He growls in such appreciation when her hands are in his hair, finger tight in his dark lazy curls. She’s utterly helpless, and beautiful. She’s tensing against him, she’s pushing her hips to his face, and her legs are tight on his shoulders. He growls when she racks her nails across his scalp, and is panting. He teases her with his tongue penetrating into her, wanting more of a feast that is indescribable. He’s utterly lost to her. Jill Valentine claims his soul, his heart, his life. He can’t even begin to find rational thought to how she feels when she’s closer. He’s suckling at her, he’s teasing her with flicks of his tongue, he’s speaking to her in silence against her. He’s telling her how much he loves her, that she can do this, she can trust him. She’s replying with each moan, each shattering gasp that crashes through her. He wants this for her, and he wants for her to experience all of it. 

“C-Carlos!” There. That’s it. He hears his name from her lips, so desperate, and ready. So open and trusting, so vulnerable and broken. 

He guides her through it, his mouth is along her clit, and his fingers are inside her helping. He’s coaxing it out of her when he feels it. Had heaven and earth ever been moved, then it truly was thrown out of existence. She’s crying out! Her hands grasp tight to his hair, and her legs lock around the back of his shoulders. He feels her along his fingers, fluttering muscles that come in waves. He feels it with her hips pushed to him, and the throbbing pulse that runs through her. 

Jill, oh poor Jill. She sees white. Her whole body attacks her senses. She can’t fight the tears any longer, theys pill from between her lashes. She’s gasping, she’s moaning, she’s trying to keep the sob from erupting from her chest. She’s never felt herself crashing through existence, and writhing so deliciously. She’s never felt her body catch fire in a way that leaves her suddenly addicted. Fuck- she can’t even think, or form words besides Carlos’s name. She’s not sure what time, year, or moment it is. Only that she’s totally unraveled beneath him, and she’s shaking. She’s overstimulated, she’s hurting, and she feels amazing. Slowly she begins to climb down from the mountain peak that she reached. She can finally see through the white haze that had blinded her, and she finds herself trembling uncontrollably. 

Carlos slowly withdraws from being between her legs. He thought he had been ready for that, but god was he wrong. That was more than he ever thought of. He kisses her thigh, and slowly rises to be beside her, his hand on her belly. He draws their comforter over them both, holding her close. He sees the damp tears on her face, and waits for her to open her eyes to look at him. When she does, they are lost. They are searching, and he kisses her slowly. Still the taste of her is on his lips, and tongue. She’s flushed and she moves closer to him. 

He wants nothing in return, he wants for her to find her way back to earth, and in his arms. He holds her as she clings to him with her head on her chest. He’s silent. There’s nothing to say, though he wants to tell her in such detail how much he loves her, but for the moment, silence is all that they need. He could stay there like that forever, damn he’s tempted to. 

[keeroo92]

Be My Nightmare Ch10

A New Beginning

Mild gore warning, but you guys have seen worse in this fic already. Enjoy!

Word Count - 4,502

~~~~Previous Chapter~~~~

________________

Within twenty minutes, you had your ancient beater of a car parked in your usual spot. Normally a coffee cup and a few wrappers littered the passenger side, but lately you’d had the time to clean it out. The damn thing clattered every time you took a sharp turn and the windshield featured a widening crack, but it got you from point A to B and that was all you really cared about. 

Well, that and the sound system. It drowned out the clatter, after all.

Cold stone walls loomed over you, but their shadows were far from the unfriendliest thing you’d encounter here. You sighed and faced the music, locking your car with a deceptively cheerful chirp.

Even after only two days away, the facility seemed foreign as you entered the lobby. The smell of antiseptic that you almost never noticed overwhelmed you, the overly bright fluorescents blinding overhead. Was it always this bright? How hadn’t you noticed? Ridiculous, you should’ve worn your sunglasses.

“Dr. Waras! What are you doing here?” cried a familiar voice behind the glass panel hiding the counter. Sandy hair and brown eyes set in a face the female patients couldn’t get enough of. You approached with a smile.

“Hi, Rob. I’d like to speak with Malphas, is he in?”

“Yeah, I think so. I… I’ll have to escort you, I’m sorry,” the young man said, eyes shifting away. 

Indignant heat pooled in your cheeks. How absurd. You worked here, this was your home! A babysitter only added insult to the already painful injury. 

Calm down, it’s not his fault.

You paused to swallow your anger and offered an understanding nod. “That’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

“It’ll be just a sec, gotta have someone take over.”

You sighed and turned away, heading for one of the pastel armchairs dotted around the room. Outdated magazines lined tables here and there, a water cooler gurgling happily in the corner. Landscape paintings covered sections of the horrible plaster, as if seeing a grassy meadow might ease the discomfort of being here. A waiting area like any other, but one you hadn’t been forced to wait in since interviewing for your position.

Never one to sit idle, you pulled out your phone and settled into an open seat. It wasn’t like you had a reason to check it, but the slim device brought comfort. Plus, as long as you looked busy, people wouldn’t bother you. 

Hopefully.

It was a slow day, only a pair of brown-haired girls sitting nearby. One was crying, but besides that they seemed normal enough and you put them out of your mind. 

After a few minutes of mindless scrolling, Rob came to fetch you with another apology. He led you through the first security gate and down the long hallway toward the administrative wing. By the time you reached the second gate, the uncomfortable mood became too much.

“How’s Ken doing?” you asked.

Rob shot a hesitant look your way. “Uh, I’m not sure if it’s okay for me to tell you…”

You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t blame him. “Of course. I’ll ask Malphas, then.”

The rest of the journey passed in awkward silence. Rob was a kind man, you had no complaints about him aside from his lack of courage. Not that you held it against him, after his years of running intake. Poor man saw the worst of the worst, the patients before any treatment. When they were at their lowest and most agitated point.

Finally, the heavy oak door to Malphas’ office greeted your hungry gaze. Closed,oddly enough. He liked keeping it open most of the time. Some nonsense about encouraging everyone to stop by and chat.

Rob knocked on the door and sent another worried look your way as a deep voice called for him to enter. 

“I’ll wait here, to escort you back out. I uh, I hope it goes well.”

“Thanks, Rob. I appreciate it,” you replied, pushing the door open without a pause. Might as well get it over with.

“Dr. Waras! What an unexpected pleasure. You should've called,” the grandfatherly head of the facility greeted with a hesitant smile. 

He doesn’t seem pleased to see me. 

You stepped inside and clicked the door closed, bracing for a battle of wits as you took a seat across from his desk. Maybe you should've stayed standing, sitting put you in a position of subservience. 

If I stand up now, it just looks like indecision. Damnit.

“What can I do for you?”

Pushing aside your doubts, you met his gaze with a firm stare. “I’d like to know if you’ve made any progress on reversing my suspension.”

Malphas glanced away, as if he couldn’t bear to meet your eyes. Not a good sign.

“Well, it’s become considerably more complex since the patient has begun terrorizing the city.”

You snorted and crossed your arms. True, no one who knew the murderous artist could doubt his involvement, but what proof did they have? 

“Bullshit. There’s no way to prove he’s involved.”

Wrinkled fingers brought the man’s foggy lenses to his tie for a vigorous cleaning as Malphas collected his words. “True, but you know as well as I that when he’s caught, if you’re on the active roster it won’t look good.”

You pursed your lips and tried to keep your voice even as heated anger tinted the overstuffed bookshelves behind his head blood red. Fucking PR bullshit. “So it’s all about appearance, then? Your only reason to keep me out is the press?”

He sighed and returned the glasses to his face, blinking to force his eyes to adjust. You were shaking, barely holding back words of utter rage and frustration. Not good, he wasn’t likely to reinstate you if you came across as an emotional wreck. You needed to rein it in, now.

Change the subject. Something less complicated.

“Can you at least tell me how Ken is doing?”

Malphas sighed, blinking owlishly at you. “I’m afraid not. Patient details are privileged information, and you aren’t currently affiliated with his care. I cannot share any details with you.”

A small smirk twisted your lips. He revealed enough. “You used the present tense. He’s alive, then.”

Malphas bit his lip and looked away again. Honestly, who did he think he was talking to? The man told you himself that someday he wanted you to take his place. He knew your intelligence, why did he act like he could fool you?

A long moment passed in silence, both you and Malphas searching for the right phrase to move forward. Even with the sting of his actions, the man had your respect. He’d done so much to help you start your career, more than anyone else. You didn’t like being angry with him, or the resentment that built every day he didn’t bring you back. There had to be a way back to the previous state of your relationship.

You released a breath and pinched the bridge of your nose. Conflict was exhausting. “Look, just… what can I do to make this all go faster?”

Malphas’ wizened eyes met yours, tinted with sympathy and understanding. You struggled not to get defensive. You didn’t need his pity, it served no purpose. What you wanted was his agreement. 

“There’s nothing you can do right now. If something changes, I’ll let you know. For now, you just need to be patient.”

Fine, this is getting me nowhere. Waste of time.

“Please do. I look forward to coming back to work.”

The epitome of professionalism, you extended one hand to shake his as you gathered your things to leave. He seemed relieved to see you go, adding another tic in the column towards rage.

Poor Rob led you back to the lobby without a word. You knew you weren’t doing a good job of hiding your emotions, but right then it didn’t matter. It was too much, to have every aspect of your future in the hands of another. 

As if dealing with Malphas wasn’t enough, when you turned the next corner beside Rob, there stood Kotomi. Her heels clicked against the floor, her nose buried in a patient file. Like nothing had changed. Maybe she wouldn’t look up. A single word from her perfectly colored lips and you feared your already tenuous self-control would snap.

“Hi, Dr. Ishida,” Rob said. 

God damnit, Rob!

Her eyes shot up and widened as they landed on your face. The rhythmic tap of her shoes halted as she froze, lowering the still-open file.

“Rob, Dr. Waras… what are you doing here?” she said with a cautious smile. “Are you back?”

With Malphas, you had a damned good reason to keep your cool. He controlled your career, your future. If he perceived you poorly, the consequences were dire. Kotomi was a different story.

“No,” you growled, glaring daggers at her. “Thanks to you.”

Her face fell, tears gathering in her pretty eyes and shoulders slumping as she looked away. Twisted superiority filled you, a strange sense of pride at being able to dismantle her normal cheer so easily. She was pitiful, so weak for just a few words to destroy her so violently. 

The woman clearly didn’t know how to handle conflict - first during the fire, and now today, she somehow made it this far without developing the skills to handle a crisis. Life must’ve treated her tenderly, but that was fine. Karma’s a bitch and you didn’t mind serving as its tool if it meant you could show everyone how useless she was.

You paused at the direction of your thoughts. They echoed a darkness you saw in your patients regularly, a vindictive pleasure derived from others’ pain. 

What the hell is wrong with me? Making someone else feel bad shouldn’t make me feel good!

Before anyone had a chance to react, you turned away and headed for the next security gate, each step faster than the last as if you could outrun your confusion and self-loathing. Rob followed a beat behind, but he had the good sense to keep a respectful distance other than buzzing you through the gates. Smart man.

You couldn’t leave fast enough and paid little attention to the passing beige halls. Harsh words had never been difficult for you to summon, but rarely did you speak them aloud, and never before had doing so brought you such satisfaction. 

Where did that come from?

Somehow you made it back to your car unscathed, without bearing the weight of untold judgemental stares. Practice trained you how to block them out, anyway. 

Yet no defense blocked your own judgement.

Untinted windows did nothing to hide your stricken face as you sat in the parking lot and stifled sobs. This was stupid, Kotomi deserved it! She’d stabbed you in the back and hadn’t bothered to apologize!

And yet… Even if she deserved it, that didn’t change the fact that you enjoyed tearing her down. You enjoyed watching her smile shatter, her joy wilt into pain. Reveled in the knowledge that you were, in fact, better than her.

Am I, though? Am I better?

A buzz in your pocket broke the cycle of self-hatred as an alert lit the screen of your phone. This better be good, you were in no mood for more bullshit.

Oh, for the love of… are you fucking kidding me?

What was the purpose of this conversation? Idle chatter? Who cared if the sunrise was pretty, there were bigger things to worry about.

In a strange sense, it almost made you miss Kotomi. Her chatter never required thought out replies, instead providing a break during which your mind could wander. She helped you fit in, made you feel like less of a freak. Like maybe, just maybe, you actually belonged somewhere. You didn’t tell her much about your past, but it’d been nice to have the option. Look at you now, your only companionship offered by a lunatic.

Does it make me a lunatic to enjoy our conversations?

Probably. 

Another choked sob slipped from your lips, the pit of your stomach sinking into the floor mat. Instead of changing the face of medicine, you were a scapegoat. A martyr, sacrificed on the altar of society’s paranoia. You were meant for more than this, you’d spend years building the scaffolding for your success.

And for what?

The lit screen in your hand called out for a response. Dwelling on this black mood didn’t help, you needed to shake it off. Keep moving. Push it aside and focus. You’d been through worse, right?

You sighed and wiped the tears from your eyes. It didn’t make any sense to go to an insane murderer for advice, but who else did you have? Everyone you thought was an ally stood within the nearby building, probably laughing at you and cracking jokes about your suspension. 

Who could blame you for turning to the one person who cared enough to ask something as mundane as if you’d seen the damned sunrise? Besides, who would he possibly tell your secrets to?

You sniffled and a twisted note of laughter slipped from your lips. It was nice, for someone to take your side and not blame the entire fiasco on you. A rare luxury, having a friend.

Even if he was a murderous psychopath.

You stared at the words for a full minute, stunned beyond coherent thought at his offer. If you were chatting with anyone else, it might seem like a joke. But with V?

He’s dead serious.

You cringed. Poor choice of words. Talking to V, you couldn’t afford to let your guard down even for an instant. It was foolish to talk to him at all, let along make jokes. Had you seriously just thought of him as a friend? What was wrong with you?

Get your shit together!

A chill raced down your spine. What was happening to you, to seek solace from him? You’d be better off if you never answered him again.

But somehow, you already knew you would.

—-V—-

V sighed happily and leaned back, scratching at his scalp for the hundredth time that morning. The change was necessary, but damn did it itch!

“What a fruitful exchange,” he murmured. 

An encouraging sign, that you opened up to him willingly in such a way. It showed a level of trust or desperation he hadn’t been aware of. He didn’t care which; either suited his plans.

As long as you came to rely on him, the reasons didn’t matter.

Still. Someone had hurt you. A female, one whom you worked with. A fellow doctor, perhaps?

No…

A wicked grin twisted his lips. Of course, the Asian woman from his painting. How perfect, he already longed to skin her alive. Now, perhaps you’d join him in doing so.

The image sent heat rushing to his core, the first flickers of lust stirring in his gut. With the right provocation, no doubt you’d fall into his grasp with a smile. 

He couldn’t wait.

Long fingers slid under knitted fabric to scratch his scalp yet again. Perhaps a haircut would’ve been easier, he truly despised wearing hats. They made his head too warm and he’d yet to find one that didn’t make him itch as if ants crawled between the obsidian strands still tickling at his neck.

“Stop scratching, you’ll only make it worse,” Vergil commented.  The artist shot a glare at the pale-haired man and scratched just a bit more. He’d satisfy any urge he pleased and none of his friends could stop him.

“You look good, Van Gogh. Very edgy,” Griffon added. 

With an annoyed growl, V tore the beanie from his head and threw it at the damned demonic bird. The scrap of black fabric sailed through the air and landed harmlessly, six feet from Griffon’s perch on the television, sending both man and bird into hysterical laughter.

Well, Griffon’s laughter was hysterical. Vergil’s was more of a dry chuckle.

“You’re both insufferable,” he muttered. All their teasing made his fingers tingle with need, visions of red plastered on the walls of his mind. Time to go out and leave another message for you. Maybe you’d notice this one.

---Reader---

The next morning dawned cold and bright, the winter sun shining through the thin curtains covering your bedroom window. Even with the heater on, a chill teased at your toes and fingers as you huddled in the mound of blankets. What time was it, were you late or-

Oh.

And there it was, that heavy stone that resided in your chest. You groaned and tugged the quilt over your face, hiding from the world in a futile attempt to return to ignorance. Maybe you could just stay in bed all day, why bother getting up? Not like you had anywhere to be.

But your bladder had other ideas, and moments later the icy wooden floor dragged a hiss from your lips. If only you could use the toilet without surrendering the blankets… 

You did your business quickly and headed to the kitchen. Hot coffee might help, and you’d need to check your email at some point. Malphas might have news.

And V might want to chat…

A sharp knock on the door pulled your focus away from the coffee machine before you could ponder the thought. You weren’t expecting company, who in the world would show up unannounced?

You added three healthy scoops of brown powder and closed the lid, pressing the button to start brewing. Only once the telltale sound of water heating reached your ears did you approach the door, peeking through the eye hole to get a preview.

You froze, the breath escaping you at the sight of blue uniforms. 

Cops?! V, what did you do?

Possibilities raced through your mind. How much did they know? Would it be foolish to try denying any wrongdoing? Maybe you should run, go into hiding. At the very least, you might avoid prison. 

No, don’t be stupid.

You pursed your lips and forced your trembling hands to unlock the door. No point trying to escape the inevitable. Whatever they wanted with you, you weren’t going to hide from it. 

“Can I help you?”

Two blue-clad figures stood in the dim hallway. Kind faces, non-threatening posture. Was that a good sign or a bad sign? Fuck.

“Good morning. Are you Y/N Waras?” the larger figure asked.

A man, tall and broad shouldered. The uniform did nothing to hide his powerful physique, nor did it conceal his dominant posture. White hair brushed at the collar of his light blue shirt, perhaps a past trauma shocked him enough to change it? You’d heard of the phenomenon but never seen it.

“Yes, I am. What’s going on?”

“Ma’am, you’re gonna have to come with us,” the shorter figure replied with a southern drawl.

Still quite tall compared to most, the young woman had a spray of freckles dusting her nose and cheeks under a pair of stylish glasses. Bouncy brown curls gathered at the back of her head in a messy ponytail, and hints of tattoos teased at the edge of her sleeves. 

The man shot her a look. “Don’t be rude, Nico. I’m Officer Tony Redgrave, this is Officer Nicoletta Goldstein. We can talk inside if you prefer, Doctor.”

So I’m not under arrest? What the hell is going on?

“Of course, come in. It’s a bit of a mess,” you commented, widening the gap so the two strange people could enter. “I’ll get some coffee for you.”

As the two officers settled in at your small dining table, you busied your clammy hands with preparing three fresh mugs of the bitter fluid, grabbing the sugar and cream as you brought the drinks out. Having a task always helped calm your nerves, and by the time the two muttered a thank you the worst of the anxiety had faded. 

“So… what’s this about?” you asked as you joined them, your own mug in hand.

The two exchanged a look, the man shrugging and leaning back to take a sip of his coffee. A clear indication of seniority, for him to grant permission for her to speak. 

“Well you know ‘bout the murders, right?”

You almost laughed. “Of course.”

“And you gotta know the leading suspect is the escapee,” she continued without pausing for an answer.

“V.”

“That’s the one. We thought you might be able to help out, bein’ his doctor and all.”

You sipped your coffee, pondering how to respond. It might seem strange if you refused, especially given your lack of excuses. It wasn’t like you didn’t have time. Damn Malphas, he probably sent them here in the first place. As if suspending you wasn’t enough…

“What sort of help are you looking for, exactly?”

At that, Officer Redgrave leaned forward. Up close, it was easy to see the authority in his expression, the knowledge that what he said would be heard. Arrogant and handsome. A dangerous combination.

“Anything you got, honestly. Insight, patterns, any habits or places he might’ve mentioned during treatment. Couple folks at the station want to bring you in as a full-blown consultant, but that takes a lot of paperwork.”

Another sip, bitter fluid masking the nerves dancing through your body. You couldn’t deny it sounded interesting. Who knew what you might learn about your favorite patient? Would they give you access to their files, to the crime scenes? 

Shivers raced down your spine. 

What if they find out I’ve been in contact with him? I’d be an accessory, at the very least. 

But the easiest way to make sure they didn’t find out was to know what they were doing. You folded your hands on the table and forced your voice to be steady, swallowing your fears as you spoke.

“I’ll need to see a warrant, just to establish the legality of my cooperation. After that, I’m at your disposal.”

No more boredom, no more endless hours watching stupid TV you didn’t care about. Something to do, at last. Yet the risks couldn’t be ignored. You’d need to be careful.

“Got it right here, they mentioned you played by the book,” the man said, pulling a sheet of paper from his coat pocket and handing it to you for inspection.

Indeed, a warrant for any and all files or information regarding V. 

All? So… I’d be breaking the law if I kept his sketch of me hidden. 

Internally, you panicked at the realization. All your careful little lies crumbling to dust around you. By this time next month, maybe you’d already be in prison. At the very least, you’d probably lose your medical license by then. Ten years, wasted. Everything you worked so hard to achieve, sacrificed so much to gain, gone.

Not yet. There’s still a chance.

“Everything seems to be in order. How should I begin?” you replied carefully, schooling your face into neutrality. 

The young woman tapped at her phone for a moment as the man waited, drumming his fingers on the table and sending an apologetic glance your way. You didn’t mind, the delay gave you more time to think, time to plot your next move. 

You. Plotting. Ugh.

“Here it is, take a look. This photo was taken at the last crime scene,” the young brunette said, holding out the slim device for your perusal. 

Red, red everywhere. An ocean of it, covering all manner of common household furniture. You zoomed in and gasped, spotting the first limb arranged on the table. A hand, feminine and dainty. Fingers curled to mirror the hand beside it, forming a twisted heart shape. 

What was…

Oh. 

Through the hands, a particularly gruesome image met your eyes. An armless couple, sitting on a couch drenched in their own blood. Judging by their agonized expressions, he’d severed the limbs while they were still alive. Probably where all the blood came from. A dark void lied in each chest, right where the heart sits. In their laps, the organ in question. If you remembered basic anatomy right, the man held the woman’s heart, and vice versa.

You cleared your throat, pursing your lips as you handed back the phone. “How long ago was that?”

“Call came in at six thirty seven this morning, right at sunrise.”

Holy… is that why he asked if I saw the sunrise?!

A typhoon of conflicting emotions swirled within you. Confusion, disgust, curiosity, revulsion… chaos.

What a strange duality, to both be horrified by what he created as well as understand his reasons for creating it, at least partially. The image held a macabre sort of appeal, like a sculpture in a garden. If the man didn’t use human bodies as his medium, no doubt he’d be critically acclaimed. What a waste.

“So, Doctor… any thoughts?” Officer Redgrave asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Well… it does seem like his work,” you began slowly. This was extremely dangerous ground, you had to tread carefully or you’d be ruined. “It’s tough to gain any new insight on such a small screen, but in our sessions V was always focused on the meaning of his work. He never created something without a deeper message. I think if you find that message, you might find him.”

That seemed safe. Something relatively obvious, no new information for them to misuse or misinterpret. But was it enough?

“So, you need to see it in person?” he asked.

God damn it.

“I may be able to offer more insight, yes,” you replied carefully, handing Officer Nicoletta her phone back. 

The two officers shared a look, one you didn’t catch the meaning of. What an odd pair they made, hopefully you could use that to your advantage. 

“I’ll get the paperwork started when we get back,” the woman said with a flash of resignation. Poor girl, doing all the grunt work…

“It’ll take a day or two, but we’ll be in touch. Heh, don’t leave town,” Tony said with a smirk.

The young woman rolled her eyes and stood, extending a hand to shake yours. “Don’t mind him, he’s just like that.”

“What? Saying stuff like that’s the best part of the job!” he exclaimed. 

It was almost enough to make you laugh. Almost. 

Not until the door closed on their retreating backs did you dare to breathe, allowing your true emotions to show at last. You wondered what it might be like, living without a mask. To not hide yourself away and portray the person others expected you to be. Would it be easier, or more difficult? 

It didn’t matter. This was the life you had, there was no changing that. You simply needed to make the best of it, keep moving forward. What was the saying, when you’re going through Hell, keep going?

No, Hell was for children. This was just life.

_________

You guys NEED to check out this amazing comic by @monochromatic-echo​, this is now my headcanon for how V figured out his new hairstyle! Thank you so much!

~~~~Next Chapter~~~~

[sir-skarsgard]

Don’t Die on Me

Pairing: Peter Rumancek x OC / Roman Godfrey x OC 

Prompt/summary: OC struggles with hunger, fighting back a need to sleep and eat. Peter wants nothing more than to comfort her in her time of need, but it’s hard to comfort someone who’s there but not there 

Word count: 2939

Warnings/contents: More angst, self-hatred, unhealthy habits, more unreciprocated love (sorta), cursing 

Notes: Part 2 of This Isn’t Love is now out! Part 3 is coming next, and then the endings. Stay around for more! My messages are also always open for requests or personal comments 

(Read part 1 here) 

I had never spaced out as much as I had been the past few days. I was acting as if I was a dead person walking, spacing off and staring at nothingness for hours on end. The bags underneath my eyes were dark like a dead persons as I hadn’t been sleeping lately. I was unresponsive to people speaking to me. I wasn’t eating-- human food or blood. I was always hungry anyways, so how I viewed it was that it didn’t matter if I ate or not, I’d still be hungry. 

I went to school, got yelled at by teachers for not paying attention and then not responding to their yelling; the gossip surrounding me got louder, as I was never seemingly listening anyways. All I heard in my own head was static. A faint ringing and nothing until someone awoke me from my dream-state prison of nothingness. And usually the person who did that was Peter; however, after the bathroom stall moment I’d been keeping myself active to some extent during school hours to avoid him. 

I was right. It hurt so bad to ignore Peter. To not have him by my side. But if I had stayed with him I’d only hurt him, and I wouldn’t be the cause of his downfall. I wouldn’t be the cause of his life falling apart as I had been for everyone else. I won’t ruin his life, not if I have a choice. 

Peter and I hadn’t been on speaking terms (because I was running away from him every chance I got) for two weeks now. Roman and I had hung out a little bit, but any time he brought Peter up I would change the topic. It seemed to make him suspicious, but he didn’t ever push it. 

It went back to the way it was before Peter for a little while; just Roman, Shelley and I, and it was mainly just Roman and I anyways. But even then Roman had a kid now. He had responsibilities that I didn’t want to distract him from. 

At school I stayed by myself, walking around, like a tired zombie. 

~

~ Peter’s point of view 

~

I was walking through the school halls towards the lunchroom. After Alex had started avoiding me and hanging out with Roman, I just kept to myself. I knew there was a reason she was avoiding me, but I didn’t know what it was, and I didn’t know where she was to ask her, nor did I wanted to bug her. Maybe she just didn’t want to be in my life. And as much as I missed her I had to respect that. 

I still looked for her, but she was never there. She was never at places she usually was when she’d meet with me, or even before. I occasionally saw her leaving school, but I never really saw her. Which was weird, because she had seemed so spaced out and clumsy the past few days. 

When I went to the lunchroom I saw her. She was sitting alone at a table, the light hitting her through the window, adding an angelic glow to her that she always seemed to bring with her. No matter how tired she looked she was always so fucking gorgeous. 

I saw her lick her lips as I neared, so I followed her eyes and saw two girls, talking and laughing. I saw a tampon sticking out of one of the girl’s bag, which must have been what was causing Alex to space out the way she was. 

I walked over and sat beside her. 

“Hey,” I smiled, but she didn’t reply. She stared at the female’s, unblinking, like a predator watching its prey in the wild. I worried as I watched her slouched form. She looked skinnier than before. Her naturally pale skin glowed in the light, but her eyes held dark circles beneath her gorgeous blue orbs. I placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a soft shake; it usually snapped her out of it, but this time she merely gave a slow blink in response and continued to watch the two. 

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Roman walking in, so I gestured for him to come over quickly. He came over, looking at me and then at Alex, and then back at me. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, looking at my hand that was on Alex’s shoulder. 

“I think something’s wrong,” I shook my head, waving my hand in front of Alex’s face. It didn’t even make her blink at this point. “She’s just staring at them.” Roman bent down beside her, gently placing a hand on her thigh and sniffing the air. 

“Alex, you need to come with me.” He spoke. Alex gave a soft hum, as if she’d heard but she didn’t respond psychically. “You can’t sit here downwind from that smell like this.” He whispered. 

“That’s nice.” Alex replied in a robotic tone, not moving from her spot. Roman sighed, getting a knife out from his pocket and cutting a little slit in his thumb. It started bleeding immediately; Roman held it up to Alex’s lips and smeared the blood there. She licked it, then jerked slightly in response. Roman pushed his thumb in her mouth as he stood and held out a hand for Alex. 

“Come on,” he started as she began to regain her senses; she shook her head softly, shaking Roman’s thumb from her mouth, and looked at us. “You can’t be here. You gotta get away from this smell.” Roman told her. She stood and shook her head, rubbing her temples a little roughly and licking her lips, I assumed searching for any trace of the blood Roman left on her lip. 

“I can’t. It’s everywhere, I can’t get away from it; I’ve tried.” 

“What do you hear?” Roman asked her. I frowned and looked at him. 

“Blood. Pumping through veins. Hearts pumping and beating. It’s fucking all I can ever hear.” She murmured as she cupped her hands around her ears and squeezed her tired eyes shut. 

“Why don’t you come with me back home.” Roman softly persuaded. 

“I don’t wanna go home.” she almost whimpered. 

“Not your home, my home.” Roman gently corrected her as he grabbed her hand and led her out of the crowded cafeteria. I leaned against the wall and watched, crossing my arms and biting back a tinge of jealousy as Roman got to wrap her in his arms and hold her while she calmed down. “It’s gonna be okay,” Roman whispered in her ear. 

“You can come with me,” I quickly piped up. I saw her shake her head gently, but I didn’t stop. I decided enough was fucking enough. “Alex, you’re gonna come with me. I know you’re ignoring me right now, but I want you to come home with me. Just for now.” 

“She can come with me,” Roman replied, almost glaring at me. “Maybe what’s best is she’s with an Upir. Preferably one she’s known all her life.” 

“Mature,” I grumbled to him. “Alex... please, just come with me.” I begged the female. She looked at me from underneath Roman’s arm and sighed; she was snugly pressed against Roman, but she finally moved out of his arms and looked at me. 

“Fine.” 

~ 

~ Alex’s point of view 

~

I walked with Peter in silence to his house. Roman was hesitant to let me go, but I finally got him to let my arm go, and I went with Peter. 

If there was any chance I could convince Peter to stay away from me it was right now. I looked awful. I had dark circles beneath my eyes so dark I looked like the walking dead, my body was frail and looked inhuman. I was starving, sleep deprived, and on the brink of either tears or screaming; and we were about to find out. 

When we got to his house his mother was in the kitchen, and she began to talk to Peter, quizzing him on why he was home, before she turned and saw me. She gasped and nearly dropped her plate. 

“Oh, shit! Alex, you scared me.” She sent me a weak smile. I responded with an even weaker smile, attempting to straighten my posture but not having the energy. “Are you... are you okay, honey?” She asked me hesitantly. I rolled my shoulders, and shaking my head softly. 

“Can we get you some meat? Do we have any raw meat?” Peter asked, digging through the fridge. 

“No, we’re all out.” His mom replied, watching me warily. Her blood pumped steadily, but her heart rate picked up as usual, as I stayed away. 

“Fuck. Well,” Peter looked at me and walked a little closer. I stumbled over my feet backwards and watched him, trying to keep away. 

“Please don’t.” I hurriedly spoke. Peter stopped, looking slightly hurt, or maybe it was worried, as he watched me. He nodded softly. 

“Okay.” He spoke softly. “But you have to explain what’s going on.” 

“What do you mean?” I asked. 

“I mean, what the fuck is wrong with you?” 

“What do you mean?” I asked again, this time less patient as I ran my hands through my hair. 

“God damnit, Alex, you know what I mean! You’ve been avoiding me, you’re not eating and sleeping, you’re spacing out, you’re--” 

“It’s fucking maddening!” I yelled. And here it came. 

“What is?” Peter asked, taking a few steps closer. The crazy thing was that, through his mom’s heart nearly beating out of her chest, his heart rate remained steady. 

“Everything!” I choked, looking at him and feeling a sting of tears in my eyes. “I’m so hungry all the time, no matter when or what I eat! I can smell the blood of all these girls because they’re all on their fucking period. I can hear your blood pumping through your veins, and I can hear your heart beating-- do you know how fucking insane that is driving me?” I asked harshly through clenched teeth. “And I can’t do jack shit about it! All I can do is suck blood off my fingers, and that doesn’t do anything! It’s like when you’re so thirsty so you save your spit. It refreshes you for two seconds and then you go back to being thirsty.” 

Peter clenched his jaw and then shook his head.

“I will not let you do this to yourself anymore.” Peter spoke, walking over to me. I looked at him and frowned, backing against the wall. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Bite me.” He said, tugging the collar of his shirt away. I heard his mother say a gentle ‘Peter’ in warning. 

“What?” I asked in shock. Any tears I had were immediately drawn away at his offer. 

“Bite me. Here, drink my blood.” He tilted his head to the side and shuffled closer. I watched his vein in a trance, the sound of his heart thumping taking over my ears. I licked my lip, feeling myself drawn to his neck. I ripped myself away from those thoughts, pushing myself against the wall and closing my eyes, pushing my hands through my hair and tugging at the back, shaking my head violently. 

“No.” I forced out. 

“What?” He asked, as shocked as I was a moment ago. 

“I won’t hurt you. I can’t control myself, Peter.” I spoke, meeting his shocked gaze. I gulped. “I won’t drink your blood if it means I could kill you.” I saw Peter’s mother’s face relax in the background as she held her thumping heart. “I won’t do it.”  

“Well, I won’t let you starve” Peter forcefully added. I backed away from him and gulped. 

“I will die before I will hurt you.” Peter looked at me, his eyes searching mine, before he slouched his posture in defeat. 

“Alex, you can’t do this to yourself.” He whispered. 

“I will not drink your blood.” 

“I know. But I’m offering it to you. I want you to take it. I want you to stay alive, not go insane, and this is the only way to keep you healthy. Alex, I trust you.” He whispered. I didn’t even notice he got as close as he had until he cupped my face in his hands. I closed my eyes and furrowed my brows. 

“Peter, please...” I begged. “Just go away. Stop touching me.” I forced out, covering my ears as if it would help. 

“I’m not going to,” he used his thumb to force my chin upwards, and leaned in. “Alex, I trust you.” 

“I don’t.” 

“I don’t need you to.” 

I can’t do it.” I opened my eyes and looked up at him, the sting of tears at my eyes. “I can’t hurt you.” 

“I can’t watch you die from the sidelines anymore.” 

“If I die but you live then so be it.” 

“Why are you so fucking stubborn?” 

“I am my father’s daughter.” Peter gave a soft laugh and brushed a tear away from my cheek. 

“Please, just take a little bit of my blood. I don’t want to live in a world without you.” 

“Peter, I can’t...” I glanced backwards at his mother, who pretended she wasn’t paying attention, but I decided ‘fuck it’ and continued. “I can’t because I care too much about you. I’m not gonna die and you are. And I don’t wanna live without you. I can’t get this attached. Not to you, not to a human, not to anyone who’s not an Upir, and no Upir, or anyone else for that matter, wants dirty blood with them. I can’t not be a loner because no one wants me, and I can’t have you forever, so I won’t have you now.” 

“Dirty blood?” Peter shook his head as if he didn’t understand. 

“You know, Peter. I’m not full Upir, I’m half human and no one wants my dirty blood in their family.” 

“Fuck that. Blood doesn’t matter, and listen, Alex, I don’t care about the future. I just care about right now, and right now I need you to drink my blood.” 

“Peter--” 

“Shut up,” he whispered softly. “Drink my blood or I will have to make you.” I watched him through glazed over eyes. I was seeing everything in a much more tired light and it was getting harder and harder to eliminate what was fake and what was real, and within the past week, Roman had been the only thing that felt real, and now so did Peter. 

I used my fingers to push against his jaw, making him lift his head up. I gulped as I watched the pulsing vein. I forced myself to calm down as I neared his neck, exhaling a shaky breath of air before gently sinking my teeth into his neck.

Peter jerked slightly, but stayed still for the most part, leaning heavily against his arm that was beside my head on the wall. I put my right hand on his shoulder and tensed up in restraint. All I wanted was more blood. More and more blood. His mothers thumping heart wasn’t helping, either. He hissed, his back tensing underneath my fingertips. 

I let his neck go slowly, licking the blood away from my lips and staying close for a second. I licked his neck where I’d bitten to remove the extra blood and leaned away, looking up at him. 

“You’re fucking stupid.” I whispered. Peter used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe the blood away from the corner of my lip with his covered thumb and smiled lightly at me. 

“I know, but I can’t sit there and watch you die if there’s something-- hell, anything-- I can do.” Peter’s mother watched the scene, leaning against the sink and looking relieved. 

“Don’t worry,” I spoke, looking back at her, “I didn’t take that much. He’s alright. I promise.” I smiled lightly. “I don’t want him to die just as much as you.” I smiled lightly at Peter, seeing him blush lightly and smile back at me. 

“You know, Alex, you should really stay the night.” His mother spoke up. I looked at her and smiled timidly. 

“I shouldn’t.” 

“Of course you should. You’re safe here.” She added. I stayed quiet for a second, and then nodded softly. 

“I suppose it wouldn’t really hurt. My parents are probably busy banging anyways,” I laughed lightly. 

“You can take my bed.” Peter spoke up. 

“I can take the couch.” 

“My bed.” He corrected. “I’ll take the couch. Don’t argue.” He playfully threatened. I laughed softly again and shook my head, looking down at my hands. 

“Obviously you always wear me down.” 

“I’m only looking out for you.” Peter whispered. 

“I know.” I smiled up at him and cupped his cheek in my hand and leaning up to peck his cheek. “And I want to thank you for that.” I rocked back onto my feet, not moving away from Peter much. “I know I haven’t been exactly easy for the past few weeks. After Roman... I just didn’t treat you very well and I’m sorry for that. And I truly appreciate everything you’ve done-- and that you’re doing even now-- for me. You’re too good for me, Peter, but I don’t want you to leave. Ever. And if you ask me about this I will deny it, but I don’t ever want to be without you.” Peter grinned goofily, obviously trying to stop, and leaned more into my hand. 

“You know that... that I care about you.” He suddenly stopped, his smile faltering. “You’re... you’re my best friend.” 

[zanybohbot]

The Outsiders: Camp Squit

The Outsiders: Camp Squit (Episode 4)

Published: 10-19-19 - Updated: 10-21-19

Squit planned an idea of what's happening in this weekend as he planned to go camping with Pinky, Brain, Pesto and Wakko. Will the others ruin it for him? Will it cause cringy chaos? Read what happens and find out. This is the 4th fanfiction episode of The Outsiders.

Part 1: The Arrival

(Brain is driving in the woods with Squit, Pinky, Pesto and Wakko for their camping trip.)

Squit: As we're near, I thought I'd run through the itinerary for this weekend.

Wakko: What's an itinerary?

Pesto: (annoyed) Squit's way of taking the piss outta everything?

Squit: No, it's just a schedule of what we'll do and when we'll do it.

Pinky: Okay, item one, get your shit off my side of the car! (pushes Squit's suitcase)

Squit: It's not shit. It's essentials for everyone to make the trip more enjoyable!

Pinky: Oh, really? (Gets out Monopoly from Squit's suitcase) Monopoly?! Y'fuckin' serious?! This is tha most shitty-ass game you've ever bought! Look. All we need is beer and weed and I've got plenty of both.

Squit: Why have you brought a load of weed?

Pinky: In case I get lucky and stoned.

Squit: But we're camping by a lake near a woods.

Pinky: Listen, all these country bitches love some big city diugh.

Squit: You're not from the big city!

Pinky: Well growing up in da hood counts as a city to them!

Brain: (frustrated) Pesto, look at the map, please! Where is it?!

Pesto (checks phone) Uhhh...I dunno. It's around here somewhere. Th-the next left or something.

Brain: (sarcastically) And that's what Google Maps says, "The next left or something"?

Pesto: Sorry, dude, I'm running outta brain juice. What if I have to literally give birth with the babe from Walmart I had sex with? Can you imagine how fuckin' disgusting that'll be, watching that baby getting squeezed outta her ass?

Squit: Okay, I've got some news, Pesto. Do ya...

Pesto: Oh, here we are, B. Turn left.

(Brain turns left to the nearest forest.)

Brain: Oh, Jesus Christ, it stinks. Is it near a pig farm, Pesto?

Pesto: Sorry, that was me. It just slipped out.

(they all gag and moan by the smell)

Pinky: What?! (holds nose)

Brain: Ugh! I can't believe that's the smell of your ass!

Squit: I think I'm gonna throw up!

Wakko: I can fucking see it! It's like a brown mist!

(Squit N/R: Despite Pesto's anxious bowels burning our eyes and choking our lungs, we made it to the forest. I'd researched this place online and it certainly delivered. Secluded. Remote. Beautiful.)

(All 5 were standing in the forest.)

Pesto: So...where do we shit?

Squit: What?

Pesto: When we need to shit, where do we shit?

Pinky: Hang on, he's right. Where are we gonna shit?

Squit: Well, usually, you'd place a trench at least.

Pesto: Well, what trench, smart-ass?!

Squit: The toilet trench.

Wakko: Where you place the public bathrooms?

Squit: No, it's where you DO a public bathroom.

Pesto: (whacks Squit in the head) Fuck you, I'm not shittin' in a trench! Dafuq's the matter with ya?!

Pinky: Dude, you're fuckin' high.

Brain: I'm not going near a hole filled with your shit!

Squit: (rubbing his head) No. We each get our own trench. That's what I'm sayin'.

Brain: (sarcastically) Oh, OK. Yeah 'coz that makes sense!

Wakko: We're camping surrounded by shit?

Pinky: No! No-one's shittin' in a trench! That's disgustin', I'm not gonna do it! We'll have to drive to tha bar or a convenience store or something.

Pesto: Shit there?

Pinky: Shit there.

Wakko: Good idea.

Brain: Agreed.

Pinky: Then, that's decided, write that down, Squit, item two.

Squit: Could do. Or you could remember to shit in the bar when we're there anyways?! Now, c'mon. Let's get this tent up.

Pesto: I need to go now, tho.

Squit: What? Just hold it in!

Pesto: I can't, I get emotional.

Squit: We only just got here, Pesto! Camp first, shit second!

Pesto: I don't think I can, I'm honestly gettin' teary here, it feels like it's trying to push its way back up into my stomach!

Wakko: Great. I need one now, too.

Brain: What about that gas station we've just past?

Pesto: (panicking, holding his ass) Oh, God, the snake's out the cave!

Squit: Fine. Everyone, back in the car.

(They got back in the car and drove to the nearest gas station.)

(Squit N/R: So our camping trip was shortly delayed while Pesto left what he described as "King Kong's finger" in the Welcome Break bathrooms. Pesto genuinely felt better about life after unloading a massive turd. And now the car was unloaded, so did I.)

(Back at the forest.)

Squit: First need to clear the ground, make sure the site is safe and then put up our tent.

Pinky: Fuck dat, let's just crack open the beers and build a fuckin' massive fire up in this bitch!

Squit: You can't just build a fire. It takes preparation. I mean, have we even asked the landowner's permission?

Brain: (frustrated) Squit, c'mon! I didn't come here for a refresher course in the Countryside Code. I just wanna get pissed and have fun. Otherwise, I won't be able to do any of this in Wales.

Pinky: What, 'coz there's no fields?

Brain: No, 'coz I won't have any friends of my kind.

Pinky: You won't need friends. Welsh hoes are totally horny.

Brain: Are they?

Pinky: Yeah. Pretty much all British porn stars are Welsh, even though they are popular here in America. Most of them don't even get paid, they just do it for dick.

Brain: (sarcastically) Oh, OK, made-up sluts. Now I'm glad I'm going to Swansea. Oh, fucking hell, Swansea! I have to see my grandpa for a WHOLE WEEK in Swansea!

Squit: Fine, Brain, look if you really want, I'll build you a fire. Y'all put the tent up, I'll go and find some suitable wood and kindling.

Wakko: All right, Akela. HA!

Squit: But remember, fire is an element, it must be respected.

(He leaves to find some wood.)

(Squit N/R: Camping's all about self-reliance and teamwork. And I knew I could rely on myself to create the perfect camp and my team fucking it all up.)

(When he came back, he saw his stuff from his suitcase being burnt down with fire as his suitcase was open, it causes him to have a panic attack and drops all of the wood he just found.)

Squit: WHAT...THE...FUCK HAVE YA DONE!?

Pinky: Y'okay, Squit?

Wakko: (tried to hand Squit a cooked sausage) Want a sausage?

Pesto: Calm down. I just got it going and I didn't even need a fire gay's badge.

Pinky: Nah, just some diesel.

Squit: You put diesel on it? Wait a minute. Is that my fold-out table on the fire? (gasp) And my picnic basket?!

Pinky: I thought you said look for stuff to burn.

Squit: (getting angry) Wood, burn fucking wood, not my stuff! Oh, for Christ's sake! Why would ya do that?!

Pesto: Look, someone had to take charge of this weekend or it's gonna be all Monopoly and shitting in trenches!

Brain: Look, come on, sit down, have some weed, have a beer, have a sausage. Just chill.

Squit: I'll chill when y'all stop burning up my fuckin' valuable possessions to dust!

Pinky: (teasing) Oh, but I thought they were for "everyone"?

Squit: Yes, for everyone to use, not to burn up with! God.

(Wakko saw the fire going down so he puts Squit's fold-out chair on top of it.)

Squit: What the hell are you doing now?!

Wakko: Fire's going down.

Squit: (getting furious) STOP...BURNING...MY...THINGS!

Wakko: (angrily) Sorry, I forgot. (flips his chair off the fire) Jeez!

(Squit N/R: We were barely an hour from home, but somehow that meant that burning my possessions was not only OK, but hilarious.)

Part 2: R.I.P. Brain's Shitty Car

(Squit was sitting down still looking pissed off because of what happened earlier.)

Brain: Oh, come on, we're sorry. It was just a joke.

Wakko: We'll do whatever you want to cheer you up.

Pinky: Anything you like.

Squit: (smiled) Game of Monopoly?

(The others moan about this)

Pinky: Oh, fuck off!

Pesto: Boooooooooooooo! Y'suck!

Brain: Apart from that.

Pinky: Look, if you wanna play a game, I've got a proper game, not a shitty one, especially Monopoly. Though thinking about it, y'all might be too pussy to play.

Wakko: It's not that game that you used to play with your weird neighbour in his shed, is it?

Pinky: (looks nervous) Well, that never happened.

Wakko: Yeah, you told me about 8 years ago. Just after he moved away.

Pinky: No, I never. Shut up, dumbass!

(Wakko looks confused)

Pinky: OK, to start with, y'all have to swap phones. Squit, you swap with mine. Brain, I'll swap with your phone. Wakko and Pesto can swap each others and Pesto can swap with Squit.

(They all swap phones.)

Brain: Okay...now what?

Pinky: Now you text someone in their phone book. So when you text someone, they'll think it's from him.

Wakko: So does that mean I have to write it all posh and like all hurdy wurdy durdy?

Pinky: Nope. The only rule is you can write whatever you like and no-one can stop you.

Squit: I just wanna say, for the record, there's no way anything good can come outta this.

Pinky: Whatever. Ready? Go.

(They all text.)

Pinky: I've only got five numbers in my phone, and four of them are four of y'all, so do ya worst.

Pesto: Well, as long as one of the others is Squit's mama, you're still in trouble.

Squit: (looking disgusted) Pesto, come on, that's too much.

Pinky: Sorry, it's literally the point of the game, y'know.

Squit: Awww...fuck. Fine!

Pinky: Right, homies, finished?

Wakko: (finished texting) That's it, send 'em.

Pinky: Good, now swap back.

(They swapped back their phones.)

Pinky: Good, so I wrote, from Brain's phone to Billie, "Bills, I love you from the bottom of my ding-a-ling. The thought of leaving you is making me cum." (laughs)

Brain: (embarrassed) Oh, god.

Pinky: "And I'm using those tears as lube to jerk myself off with."

Brain: (sarcastically/disgusted) Gee, thanks, Pinky.

Squit: Don't worry, B, I texted Pinky's dad and wrote, "Dad, I'm just thinking about you."

Pinky: (whispered) Hmph, pussy.

Squit: "I'm in the bath and I'm hard." (laughs)

Pinky: (angrily) Holy fuck! Damnit, you've won this round!

Brain: Pesto? What about you?

Pesto: Fairly standard to Squit's mama. "Ma, it's been 29 years, but I'd love to have another go on your big fake-ass tits."

Squit: (embarrassed) God. No.

Pesto: "Then I'd like to smash in your back doors (anus)."

Squit: (sarcastically) So it'll come up that I've sent her a text, she'll think, "Good, he's just letting me know I'm proud of him," then she'll read that? Yep, thanks Pesto!

Pesto: No probs. Wak, who did you send to?

Wakko: I presume, your dad? I wrote "Your gay as fuck." HA!

(There was a short silence as Pesto looks pissed)

Pesto: (he snatches his phone back from Wakko) Gimme my phone back!

Wakko: Wait, I've also wrote for Saucy Walmart Karen.

Pesto: Wait, did ya?

Wakko: Hell yeah, I've written, "Karen, I love you and love that you are to be the mother of my child. Marry me?"

Pesto: Oh, c'mon!

Pinky: Nice.

Pesto: I only met her a month ago. She smells like cheese most of the time.

Pinky: What, 'coz of all dat dick she sucked?

Pesto: Yes...no...maybe...I DUNNO! God, I thought coming out here would take me mind off it, but the countryside's really boring! It's just a load of fields and rivers. And they don't do anything. They just sit there doing jack, it's not like The Blair Witch Project where people jump out at you.

Pinky: He's right, it is boring.

Wakko: Shall we go back?

Brain: Oh, no, come on, we could go for a swim? Skinny dipping? (The others look slightly disgusted) Yeah, you're right, probably be a bit gay.

Squit: Well, there's always Monopoly.

(They moan once again.)

Pinky: Fuck, fine, as long as I can be the dog.

Squit: Why?

Pinky: Reminds me of Benji.

(Squit N/R: This was great. Camping. Playing board games round the fire as the sun went down. It was like I was back in Cub Scouts, but without the unpleasantness.)

(At night, they were still playing Monopoly.)

Pinky: Miami, with a hotel, that's $1,500 you owe me, Top Hat.

Squit: Can I pay you after I pass Go? I'm nearly there.

Pinky: Nope.

Squit: (frustrated) Oh, c'mon. This is impossible. I can barely see. I've not been able to see anything for fuckin' hours! Let's just stop.

Brain: OK, we'll call it a draw.

Pinky: Fuck you, just because I'm winning and all you've got is just cities!

Pesto: I'm happy to call it a draw, y'know.

Pinky: Course you are, 'coz you were out four hours ago anyway, you fuckin' idiot!

Pesto: Y'all think I'm dumb, but I've got street smarts!

Brain: You got a woman from Walmart pregnant in her lunch hour.

Pesto: (pondered) Oh.

Pinky: I'll build another fire.

Squit: It's too dark to collect wood and you've burnt everything I own!

Pinky: Well, fine, I'll...I'll get Brain's shitty car and shine the lights over here.

Brain: Fine. Here ya go. (hand's Pinky his car keys)

Pinky: Thanks, mah boy!

(Pinky runs to Brain's car and turns on the headlights.)

(Squit N/R: This was embarrassing. I hadn't lost a game of Monopoly since I was 7. And yet I was about to be beaten by Pinky, a man who took pride in the fact that he couldn't count to 100.)

Squit: He really wants to win, doesn't he? I never knew he was so competitive.

Pesto: (eating sausages) I can't get enough of these sausages.

Wakko: (eating sausages) Yeah. I love 'em raw in the middle.

Pinky: Right, done. (he gets out of the car and shuts the door) Mission accomplished! Now you owe me $1,500. And you can pay me right fuckin' now!

(Brain's car was about to roll down into the lake.)

Brain: Pinky, my fucking car! (he stops his car from going down) Handbrake?

Pinky: Oh, shit, sorry.

Brain: Quick, everyone. Stop it!

(The others stopped the car except for Pinky.)

Brain: Pinky, help!

Pinky: Okay, calm your tits! (as he helped stopping the car)

Brain: (tried to unlock it) It's locked. Pinky, throw me the keys.

Pinky: I don't have them.

Brain: The fuck are you talkin' about, what do you mean you don't have them?!

Pinky: I gave them to you.

Brain: No, you didn't.

Pinky: Yeah, I did.

Brain: (getting angry) No, you fucking didn't!

Pinky: Brilliant, someone's gone and lost the fuckin' keys.

Squit: (looks at Pinky while being concerned) Yes, you. You've lost them.

Brain: You must have locked them in the car. (he panics) Oh, God! Oh, God!

Squit: Sorry, Brain. We'll have to smash a window or something.

Brain: (furious) Pinky, you dolt, Imma kill you for that!

Pinky: It's not my fault.

Brain: It is entirely your fault!

Pinky: I always lock my car like that!

Pesto: But yours must be different.

Wakko: It's shitty, for one.

Brain: (sarcastically angry) Thanks, Wak!

Pinky: If my lil' bro was here, he'd be able to get into it in two seconds flat. He used to jack Ferraris in New York City for the Mafia.

Brain: (bops Pinky in the head with a pencil in anger) How is that total bullshit helpful?!

Squit: Enough! OK, you three hold it. We'll go and find something to smash a window with.

Pinky: (rubbing his head looking dizzy) Hey! Why do me, Pesto and Wak have to hold the fuckin' car?!

Squit: Well, obviously, because you three are the strongest.

(Pinky, Pesto and Wakko hold the car.)

Pesto: Huh. It's true, we are.

Brain: What the fuck, why are there no rocks?! It's the countryside! Why aren't there any fuckin' rocks?! What are we gonna smash the window with now?!

Squit: Well, I dunno. Pinky's face?!

(Brain and Squit leave to find the rocks.)

Pinky: My arms hurt. I don't know why they're bothering to get rocks anyways. The way I look at it, it's inevitable that the car's gonna dive into the lake.

Wakko: I suppose it's nature. You can't fight nature.

Pesto: Exactly.

Pinky: It's going in anyway, I'm legitimately sweatin', my arms achin', we might as well just let go.

Pesto: Do you think Brain will kill us all?

Pinky: How can he? He hates it anyways. It's logical. We can't stop it.

Wakko: We are stopping it now.

Pinky: It's inevitable, Wak, trust me. We'll let go after three, do ya hear?

Pesto & Wakko: Gotcha.

Pinky: One, two, three. Go!

(They let go of the car as the car starts rolling down again. Brain and Squit finally got some rocks but Brain saw his car going down as he panicked and dropped the rocks.)

Brain: NO! Oh, God. Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!

(The car went into the lake as there was a short silence, then Pesto picked the rock up and smashed the back window.)

Brain: Why did you do that?!

Pesto: You said smash a window. Look, there ya go!

Brain: NO! No, no, no! (Brain went into the lake and tried to get his car out and shortly gives up, looking at Pinky, Squit, Pesto and Wakko furiously) You assholes. You total pair of fuckin' scumbags!

Pesto: Relax, B. We'll just wait 'til morning and rescue it when the tide's out.

Brain: It's just a fucking lake, Pesto, the tide isn't going out! (He emotionally tears up) I've wasted my whole 14 years hanging around with you fuckin' morons! I wish I'd never met y'all at all! I can't wait to move to Swansea! I fuckin' hate you, fuck you! FUCK YOU!

Squit: Come on, Brain, come outta the water and dry off, you could get sick, I'm sure we'll think of something.

Brain: You never think of anything. You've just got an accent that makes us think you're clever, but you're not, are ya?! You're just as much of a fuckin' idiot as these three!

Squit: (he frowns) Wow, harsh.

Brain: You scumbags, you total, total scumbags! (he continues to get the car out) Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! (he gives up trying to get the car out)

Wakko: Do you want a lager, B?

Brain: Yes, please.

(Brain got out of the lake as they all go back to the camping area.)

Pinky: (he took Brain's keys out of his back pocket) Oh, shit! I did have the keys.

Squit: Uhhh...yeah. Probably wouldn't mention it. Like ever!

Pinky: Y'right! As a matter of fact! (he throws the car keys into the lake and leaves)

(Squit N/R: So, Brain's shitty yellow Fiat was gone forever.)

The Final Part: A Disgustingly Happy Ending

(But look on the bright side, at least Pinky did beat me at Monopoly now despite I've lost $1,500. But the last thing I wanted to have is Pesto burning my $10,000 suitcase for fire.)

(Squit and Brain watching Squit's suitcase being burnt down.)

Squit: Hey. Which do you think burns better, B, my suitcase or my dignity? Heh, heh, heh, heh. (sighs all sadly)

Brain: Yeah, ha-ha. Nice try, but this is now officially the worst night I've ever had. Let's just go home.

Wakko: How?

Squit: Call your dad, B. If you think about it, it's sort of his fault we're here anyways.

Brain: Ha, sorry, no chance. He's gonna go ballistic about picking us up at 2 in the morning. What about your lil' bro, Pinky?

Pinky: Nah. He's out with my dad, private poker tournament in Las Vegas with Danny Dyer and the Krays.

Squit: Wait. Aren't the Krays dead?

Pinky: No! That's just a cover story cos they done a bunk from prison. They're holed up in one of me dad's warehouses.

Brain: Of course.

(short silence)

Pinky: Shall we swap phones again to cheer us all up.

Squit: Sure, why not.

(They all swap their phones back to their previous precision)

Pinky: (reads text) Oh, Brain, you got a message for your insurance company, they said, "We're sorry about the car. One of our retarded staff sended you the wrong car. Just burn it, dump it, kill it with fire. We're sorry for the delay for the last 2 years. Your old one will be back in 2 days." Hmph, looks like you're not in trouble at all, Brain.

Brain: (confused but relieved) Huh, that was anticlimactic. Plus, I knew they tried to rip me off anyways.

Squit: (reads text) Oh. Looks like your dad and your brother are taking a break from that made-up poker tournament, Pinky. Your dad's just texted you back.

Pinky: Oh, shit. What did he say?

Squit: "You're sick, son. Your ma was right about sending you to that shrink."

Pinky: (looks nervous) What's he on about, that fuckin' asshole? Talkin' jack-shit as usual.

Wakko: (checks phone) You got a text, too, Pesto. It's from your babe. Maybe you should read it. (gives phone back to Pesto)

Pesto: Oh, thank you, God. Thank you.

Pinky: She said yes to the marriage proposal?

Pesto: Even better. It says, "You dopey prick. Not pregnant. Tested positive for" What's that say, Squit?

Squit: (read carefully) "Chlamydia."

Pesto: Nice! (short silence) Dafuq's chlamydia?

Squit: Well, how shall I put this, Pesto? You no longer have a child on the way but you do have an STD.

Pesto: (celebrates) I got an STD! Yes, an STD! Whoo!

Pinky: (continues to reads texts) Oh. It's from Billie and your dad. It says… (Brain snatches his phone back from Pinky) Douche!

(Brain reads the text from Billie and his dad, then suddenly smiles.)

Pinky: (curiously) Well?

Squit: Shall we go to bed? It is getting late.

Wakko: Yep, good idea.

(They all went in the tent.)

Pinky: Well...what did it say?

(Squit N/R: Brain was never this cagey. When it came to Billie or his dad, he normally wore his heart on his sleeve and his boner in his pants. Maybe he had other things on his mind.)

(Brain looks at the light in the tent while he was lying down.)

Brain: (slightly annoyed) So we had a light this whole time?

Pinky: Oh, shit, yeah. Forgot about that one. Sorry, man.

Brain: So, my car went into the lake for no reason?

Pesto: I'm upset too, B. I got my first hand job in that car. Who's gonna wanna gimme a hand job when I'm a dad?

Pinky: You're not gonna be a dad, remember, Pesto?

Pesto: (pondered) Oh, yeah!

Pinky: Whatever. Look, even if we did get it out, I doubt it would work anyway. I think the engine's flooded.

Brain: Is that supposed to be funny, Pinky?

Pinky: Did I say it was funny tho?

Brain: (pondered) Good point. I also felt happy I'm not going to Swansea next week. My grandpa cancelled the trip because he was broke.

(They all laugh.)

(Squit and Wakko came into the tent looking disgusted.)

Brain: How was the trench?

Squit: (looking disgusted) Wakko and I had to wipe our asses with leaves.

Brain: (disgusted) Jesus.

Squit: And I think there were some ants in there, so I now literally have ants in my pants. And soil, and some earwigs.

Wakko: I never wanna do that again.

Pesto: Hey. Do you remember that first time we slept in a tent in my back garden and Pinky pissed himself? (laughs)

Brain: Yeah, we had to come in the house at about midnight because Pinky got scared. (laughs)

Pinky: Yeah, I was scared that Pesto's dad was about to come out and rape us!

Pesto: (furious and disgusted) Just...go fuck yourself.

Squit: And on that familiar note, it's good night. (lies down in his sleeping bag) Sorry about your car, B.

Brain: Doesn't matter. It was a piece-of-shit car, anyway. Thanks for the send-off. For the last 2 years, I always knew they were trying to scam me in the first pla... (holds his nose) Jesus, that stinks, Pesto, was that a fart?

Pesto: Nah, Wakko and I burped. It ain't great, though.

Wakko: Yeah, I think it's them sausages.

Brain: Whatever. Good night.

Pinky: Well, I'll get the fuckin' light, then, shall I? (turns off the light) Night, mah boys.

(long silence)

Wakko: B, I was wondering, when you die?

Brain: Yeah?

Wakko: What do you want us to do with Squit? Like, look after him and stuff?

Squit: I'm not a stray cat, Wak.

Pinky: Yeah, but you do shit in a hole in the ground tho. (laughs)

Squit: (sarcastically) Gee, thanks.

Wakko: I just worry about you, that's all.

Squit: I think I'll be fine. Good night. (lies back down) Thanks, though, Wak.

(Wakko suddenly vomits on Squit)

Squit: (furious/disgusted) UGH! FUCKIN' HELL, IT'S IN MY HAIR!

Wakko: (feeling dizzy) I think it's the sausages.

Pinky: (panics and turns the light back on) Fuck dat! I've gotta get out. I've gotta get out!

Brain: (disgusted) Oh, God, the smell. It always makes me puke.

Squit: Please don't puke in here.

Brain: Oh no. (vomits)

Squit: (disgusted/annoyed) Oh, you have.

Wakko: I don't feel well. (vomits again)

(Brain pukes again)

Pesto: Help me! (vomits so much)

Pinky: Oh, shit, the smell. Oh, God, doublepuke!

Squit: JUST GET THE FUCKIN' TENT OPEN, PINKY!

Pinky: (tries to find the zip) I can't find the zip! I can't find the zip! Oh no! (vomits on the tent zip)

(Squit looks at his mini-blade as he knew what he had to do.)

Squit: (angrily) Great!

(Squit rips the tent with the mini-blade and got out, so did Pinky, Brain, Pesto and Wakko. They started walking away together abandoning a damaged tent, a burnt suitcase and Brain's shitty car in the forest)

Squit: (reads text) Oh, my mom's texted me back.

Brain: Is she up for some back door action?

Squit: Nope, it said, "I love you too but I think you're on weed. No offence."

Pinky: If she's up for it, Pesto should get to do her, cos it was his text that got her kinky.

Pesto: True.

Squit: Obviously she's not up for it.

Brain: How do you know?

Wakko: Does it say that pacifically?

Squit: Specifically.

Pesto: Are you sayin' she only likes it in her axe wound? Ha.

Squit: Seriously guys, c'mon, we've got a long walk ahead of us, I'm covered in puke, can we just drop the "yo mama" jokes?

Pinky: I'd like to drop yo mama's jokes. Get it?

(They all laugh while they were walking away from the forest.)

Squit: Okay, that's brilliant, I give ya that! Heh, heh!

(short silence)

Pinky: (putting on his fake Cockney accent) So what are we doing now, Brain?

Brain: The same thing we DON'T do every night, Pinky! Try and call my dad 'coz we're fuckin' lost! (laughs)

Pinky: Yep. Good idea.

Squit: Yep.

Pesto: Yep.

Wakko: Yep.

Brain: (relieved) When I get home, my dad's gonna kick...my...ass!

THE END!

This is the 4th fanfiction episode of The Outsiders. Thx. Hope you liked it. 

[wiggly-blue-shite]

Chapter 23 The Bell Doesn’t Dismiss You (Tedgens)

Bill knows all the fucking words to all of the songs too! So we're singing along. Charlotte knows some of the words, but she's mostly humming it. Ted seems to be enjoying the movie in silence, and I can respect that. Paul's the only one not really enjoying it, and I think Emma is going to force him to enjoy it.

I'm currently choosing to ignore that little thought. I'm just a hormonal mess. I'm not like getting overly attached, for something that's only really been a thing for like two days. I'm not like crazy or anything. Just hormones.

"I wasn't jealous before we met

Now every man that I see is a potential threat

And I'm possessive, it isn't nice

You've heard me saying that smoking was my only vice" I'm totally not singing the most sexually charged song of the show at Ted, in a room filled with our close friends. I'm definitely singing it just for me and not subconsciously directing it to anyone.

"But now it isn't true

Now everything is new

And all I've learned has overturned

I beg of you" Man I love this song. Charlotte is full on singing now. It's impossible to hate this song.

"Don't go wasting your emotion

Lay all your love on me" yup not singing to Ted. I'm just enjoying a delightful song for myself.

And now his arm is around my waist. Ok yup I'm definitely not blushing. Yup yup yup.

"It was like shooting a sitting duck

A little small talk, a smile and baby I was stuck

I still don't know what you've done with me

A grown-up woman should never fall so easily" wow this is a great scene yup. Not focusing on how close he is. And how heavy his breathing is.

"I feel a kind of fear

When I don't have you near

Unsatisfied, I skip my pride

I beg you dear" I can feel his fucking breath on my fucking neck. Holy shit. My face feels like it's on fucking fire. BREATH

"Don't go wasting your emotion

Lay all your love on me

Don't go sharing your devotion

Lay all your love on me" Ted's fucking softly humming the tune of the song. Jesus Christ.

"I've had a few little love affairs

They didn't last very long and they've been pretty scarce

I used to think that was sensible

It makes the truth even more incomprehensible" It feels like he's humming it into my ear. He isn't though, right? He would like do that to my extremely hormonal self right? I'm fucking overwhelmed right now.

"'Cause everything is new

And everything is you

And all I've learned has overturned

What can I do" I'm not sure I can get through this fucking song.

"Don't go wasting your emotion

Lay all your love on me" HES FUCKING SINGING JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. How do you breath again? I have just... nope. I'm physically incapable of breathing now. I now understand the term gay panic.

"Don't go sharing your devotion

Lay all your love on me"

Ted leans in and kissed cheek, almost my jaw. I'm not going to start hyperventilating but I might.

Breath

Breath

Breath

Ok and we're back. I rest my head on his shoulder again. This is allowed. We're an item as the kids say, I'm allowed to be attracted to him. Jesus Christ.

Ted rest his head on mine. Wow I love him.

The movie ends. Bill and I insisted on watching all the credits so we could sing along to the credits music.

"Ok it was pretty good." Ted shrugs. Just pretty good! Excuse me????

"I told you!" Bill lightly whacks Ted on the back of his head.

"Yeah yeah yeah whatever." Ted's all defensive. I'll have to ask him about that later.

Everyone starts turning their phones back on. Bill and I made everyone turn off their phones so they can properly enjoy the movie with no outside distractions. It's kind of petty.

"I got to go." Charlotte stands up. She looks really nervous. Well she always looks nervous but right now she looks extra nervous.

"Is everything ok?" Ted looks concerned. I don't understand their relationship. I just know it isn't romantic. But like. I dont know. I'm over thinking things. It's stupid to be jealous of her.

"Do we need to beat someone up for you?" Paul offers. This group is really protective over her. I guess I get it. With the whole Sam thing, he doesn't seem like the most loving boyfriend.

"I'll see you all later." Charlotte is still staring at her phone. She walks over to the door.

"Check in later!" Bill calls after her. Check in? Is that like a thing? Like do friend groups have like regular checking in on each other sessions? I guess that's nice.

"Will do." She closes the door behind her.

"On a similar note, my parents need me home." Bill stands up. He pats Paul and Ted on the shoulder. "Don't have to much fun without me." And he walks to the door.

"We won't." Ted chuckles.

"Henry, Emma, always a pleasure." And he's out the door. Bill's cool. I think I will enjoy having a friend like him.

"And then there were four." Paul does a dumb dramatic voice. Seriously what the fuck is Emma's type?

"You make it sound like we're all going to die." Ted laughs. Wait does Ted understand the reference? I'd be extremely impressed.

"What?" Paul looks confused. I don't think he understands the reference he just made. So Emma is definitely not into him for his brains. I guess he could be cute from certain angles.

"That's from a book Paul" TED DOES KNOW THE REFERENCE. Like I knew Ted was like relatively smart. He doesn't know it just from the movie and play based on the book. He knows the book. I don't know why that's so impressive to me.

"It is? Wow I've just heard my cousin say that." Like seriously, I don't want to judge Emma and what she's into but come on!

"Yeah Paul, And Then There Were None. Agatha Christie ever heard of her?" I don't know why but the way Ted said that makes me laugh. Ted smiles at me. I love-

NO STOP THINKING THAT

"Well I haven't actually." That made Emma laugh.

"Jesus Christ." Ted shakes his head. Ok I love Emma and Paul is ok, but like I don't want to deal with them right now. Does that sound bad? I just want to hang out with Ted. That probably sounds bad.

"Why are you two still here?" Yup that sounds bad. Salvage it somehow, "isn't it like date night for you two or something."

"I can say the same to you, Hidgens." I don't think Emma realizes how little sense that made. Paul's making her dumber.

"Emma I live here." Like I know she knows that.

"Yeah, I know." She sighs, "I meant it's your and Ted's date night."

Ok that makes a little bit more sense.

"Yeah it is actually. Get out." Ted is not holding back. Also he's calling it a date night now? Like a date night. Like that's some serious shit. I think it is at least. I don't know protocol.

"Ok jeez." Emma puts her arms up like defensively. "Come on paul."

Emma walks towards the door.

"Enjoy date night!" I call after them. Emma flips me off as she exits stage right.

"Love you too!" I don't think she heard me but that's fine.

"See you later." Paul waves as Emma drags him along. Ted and I wave back at him.

And we're alone. Finally. Like they're all great but now we can actually have the little "date" thing we agreed on.

"So where were we?" Ted looks over to me.

"What?" Where were we? Should I know what he's referring to? Because I definitely don't.

"Like where were we before the others got here." Ted awkwardly explains. Oh I just ruined his whole little bit.

"Ohhh, I don't think that was as smooth as you imagined it in your head." I laugh a little. He's trying to be all suave and my dumbass just shut that shit down.

"It was not." He smiles and places his forehead against mine. It's like that thing people do in movies! ...wow I really don't know what I'm doing do I? Who need to know what they're doing? Not me apparently.

I kiss him. He smells vaguely of cinnamon. How have I never noticed that before? Because wow. He really is just the dream.

"We should eat." Look at Ted being the responsible one!

"Well what do you want?" I start to pull my phone out, to order something. Ted takes my phone from me.

"No don't spend your money. I'll order it. You're the one who took me in." Ted pulls out his own phone and starts typing. "It's the least I can do."

"No you should save your money." I take his phone out of his hands. We're kind of just keeping each other's phone from each other.

"Well it seems we are at a stand still." Ted inches closer. I know what he's going to try and goddamnit I will probably fall for it!

"It seems so." We're just staring each other down. Ted kisses me. My arms impulsively go around his neck. And he grabs his phone from my hand. Damnit. I knew that was coming.

Ted stands up and quickly moves away from the couch.

"I'm ordering us some Chinese food. What do you want?" He's typing pretty quickly. I stand up and walk towards him. I'm taller than him so I have that to my advantage. He dodges all of my attempts to grab his phone.

"Don't waste your money!" That comes off more whiny than I intended.

"Ok you're getting potstickers" How is he still evading my grasp? He's barely more athletic than me, thank you dance class. "And the order is placed."

Ted stops avoiding me. Damnit he's fucking wasting his money. He's going to fucking need that if he can't rely on his parents.

"Mother fucker." I'm probably just going to skip that money into his bag later. But god damnit he's not going to pay for that shit.

"Yup." Ted wraps his arms around my waist and kisses me. Damnit I Lo-

NO. I just really like him. I'm not moving to fast. I'm moving the normal speed. FUCK YOU HORMONES!

How the fuck does he smell like cinnamon?

[bladekindeyewear]

Boots reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 7 - Meat Page 26

==>

Back on to Jade swimming into the singularity or something.  (And trying to stop thinking that maybe Candy ends with a giant polyamorous relationship and/or orgy, because I don’t imagine Rose would have acted so tamely if that’s what she saw.)

Yes, Time is the complement of Space, that was already confirmed in comic if it wasn’t super incredibly obvious all along anyway.

Gah, I’m getting stomach cramps again.

Yeah, too much Space makes Time invisible and vice versa? Or...

Maybe Dave broke her heart a little, and he keeps doing it too, no matter how many different timelines they try out.

D:

God damnit these CRAMPS.  Reading further.

Like a garden, where Jade used to spend so much of her time with her hands in the earth and her head in the clouds, dreaming about flowers that bloomed in six colors and grew when she played them a song. Was that real? It’s hard to tell. But it made her happy, didn’t it?

FUCK are you going to start making me doubt the reality of the liFe we saw her living early in-comic?????  Cut it out, it’s unsettling!

Alright, alt!Callie is taking the reins from Dirk on this narrative he so smugly thought he could completely consume.  That’s good/bad.

slutty adult Jade

FUCKING YIKES!! FUCK YOU DIRK!

FUCK I DIDN’T NEED HER DEATH DESCRIBED IN SUCH DETAIL EITHER.  Also alt!Callie’s really embodying Death here.

==>

Pff.  Calliope’s writing the story now, in a sense, like she always kind of wanted.

Also pff, this version of her doesn’t know how to describe human stuff colorfully.  :)

An adversarial dichotomy between your opposing goals, huh?  This might end up as a “none of us can really write the ending” ending that DOES leave it up in the air for everyone else to decide instead.

Fuck, now you’re having THIS Jade suffer by proxy by experiencing the other Jade’s memories.  This metatextual ascension’s happening to everyone isn’t it.

Yeah, she’s done it before and stuff--

when jade turns to look at roxy, her eyes are completely black.

FUCK.

my presence shall mitigate, if not altogether subdue, the corrosive effect on reality and the will of its occupants by those who would manipulate the way events are telegraphed for their own megalomaniacal objectives.

Well, fuck.  Jade’s been temporarily hijacked for the rest of the story AGAIN, like back in Condesce days, this time as a plot device to keep Dirk from overreaching with his god powers and stepping over everyone’s wills like an Ultimate Riddle style villain.  Dirk, I mean.  Being the villain.  And alt!Callie just doing what she has to to put this back on track.  Man I HATE it when Jade’s will doesn’t get to be on full display.  Her will is awesome.  (Also, alt!Callie just tacitly confirmed that the will of reality’s occupants matters, if that wasn’t obvious already, so ha.)

despite his pretensions to a greater design, the prince of heart cannot be allowed to continue to exert unchecked control over the authoritative recitation of events on this side of my horizon. it cannot be overstated the extent to which he represents a threat to the continued existence of both this world and corporeal life itself.

Yeah, it was indeed looking that way earlier.

Ooh, alt!Callie is really spot-on with her pronoun use.

Alright, Dirk’s voice is shrinking away, and my stomach still feels half-clenched.

Wow, alt!Callie’s really mad at what Dirk’s been doing with this epilogue.

==>

“EPILOGUE FIVE”?????

Did I miss the titles for one, three, and four??? Yeah there were probably there and I just missed them or something.

Pfffff, John looks/smells like shit.  :D

...too fresh??

Fuck you John for thinking Monty Python and the Holy Grail isn’t a masterpiece.  :P

terezi tips her head to one side, with what john personally regards as a cute expression, one he believes is unique to her. whether he’s correct or not, it’s his belief that there is no one else who emotes in this manner. it’s both quizzical and mocking, two descriptors that he considers to be an apt summation of her personality as well.

Niiiiice.  Nice linguistic description of her “>:?” expression.

have no desire to interject thoughts into others’ minds, or to sway intent. nor do i see value in masking the reality of the emotions that i transcribe. this is how he feels. his mind, however, has made a habit of being less clear about his thoughts than i am willing to be.

Oh thank fucking god, I don’t have to question everyone’s thoughts anymore.  Until Dirk comes back or something, I dunno.

Oh my fucking god, alt!Callie, you total voyeuristic nerd.

he fears he is in danger of seeming like the type of creepy human male who is likely to collect large pillows bearing the illustrated images of japanese earth females. to me, this idea means nothing. but it is causing him to sweat.

This is one very relatable snippet of text.

Feed Terezi Feed Terezi Feed Terezi

WHY is the gold tooth poisonous???????  ...Wait, Caliborn affixed it to his mouth intentionally.  He had every right and motive to make it poisonous for no good reason.  Ugh.

Beep beep, let’s find Vriska.

==>

WHAT

WHAT JANE

WHAT THE FLYING FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN DOING

JESUS

Using Trickster Mode as a drug to further one’s political performance.  That’s fucking horrifying.  No wonder it was on the triggers list.

additionally, it prevents one from dwelling on any given personal problems, or the greater implications of any political statements one might make.

Pff, mhmm.

Problematic, huh?  Jane seems like the slightly-old-fashioned sort of person who thinks it’s getting kind of ridiculously silly how much people are caring about stuff being “problematic”.  And yet that stuff DOES matter, and ignoring it DOES hurt people, and she not only isn’t seeing that but is drugging herself to see it LESS with that goddamned lollipop.  Holy shit.

she turns around promptly, her body jolted by the surprise of her sudden reversal. she bends over, cradles the lollipop reverentially, and situates it carefully in a place signifying respect: atop the mantle, after clearing space for it by shoving several brittle, worthless objects to the floor.

PFFF.  Okay, so alt!Callie ISN’T above altering characters slightly from their narrative course when it comes to one of the few things she deems important.  Heh.

Having “his control of a shared vehicle fully suppressed”, huh?  Does alt!Callie only mean the narrative, or maybe Rose too with whatever weird bullshit he did to her?

Uh, “while the seer both diminishes and ascends”???  D:

--Oh, oh shit.  He was planning to NARRATIVE CONTROL Jake into going along with things.  D: D:

Yeah, Jake would want to bang all the aliens, really.

Sendificator rifle, or something like that.  Got it.

==>

How fucking long is this epilogue, anyway?????  I mean, the length is appropriate from an objective point of view, I’m just frustrated because I’m going to have to spend every waking hour liveblog-reading it until I’ve reached the end or I’m likely to fucking explode, and I didn’t want this to be my entire day/weekend/existence again AAGH HOMESTUCK YOU BLACK HOLE

anyway yaay karkat in a suit.

Alluding to assassination attempts?  What, is that red rifle going to try and fulfill that old “through the silver screen and straight into my heart” unused foreshadowing-herring from act six, or five, or whenever it was? Five, I believe.

Pff, super pacs, yeah.  Dave’s nearly as political as me now or something.  Except he actually acts on it here instead of just sitting around talking about it and thinking he’s right all the time, like me.

Wait, JANE ACTUALLY WENT THROUGH with smearing Jake??!???  Holy shit she’s lost touch.

KARKAT: SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF IS ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS SUBJECT MATTER FOR PRODUCING CAMPAIGN ADS! KARKAT: NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT, OR WHAT POINTS YOU’RE TRYING TO MAKE! DAVE: yeah its awesome

Pfffff.

...yeah, Jake isn’t thinking of ANYTHING except Dirk right now, really.

Oh huh, Dirk HAS been as controlling of Jake as he used to be, now that alt!Callie’s pointing it out.  Just with an even more insidious mechanism.

Oh cool, Karkat’s version of the policy pitch!  :D :D :D  Can’t wait can’t wait reading

(dont lie karkat you totally know shes hot)

Pff, stop making it seem obvious that Dirk wanted to assassinate Jake for political purposes.  Heck, even if that WAS his plan it’d just be a temporary death that he’d resurrect from and then they’d try to turn it into... what, some media spin on how Karkat might have been responsible? Or a troll?? That latter part would make things MUCH more xenophobic.  I’m starting to get seriously into the politics of this.

==>

Pff, now ‘rezi’s eating tobacco.

...okay, is Terezi REALLY going to go for a real conversation with just an honest ask for one?  I don’t think so--

--aaand there she goes laughing, as expected.  At least at first.

Yep, Terezi’s wearing the shoes.  Nice date gift.

--And yep, Terezi remembers all that.  She managed to do the nigh-metatextual mind merge with her other selves WITHOUT even needing God-Tier.

Yeah, Vriska always seemed fit to abandon the kismesis you deserved when it suited her, ‘rezi.  :(

JOHN: even worse, i might have tried to fix things MYSELF! TEREZI: OH D34R GOD JOHN: yeah!!!

Yeah I cackled out loud at that.

TEREZI: 34RTH C 1S P3RF3CT 1SNT 1T? TEREZI: BUT NOT FOR YOU TEREZI: YOU DONT *F33L* 1T

john swallows a thick breath. he reminds himself that he never wanted perfection, never asked for it. and yet he feels guilty every day for failing to enjoy it as much as he believes he was supposed to.

Holy shit.  John’s survivor’s guilt from all the doomed timelines he witnessed and escaped is keeping him from feeling their victory has been real, and making his “squandering” of it gut his self-esteem too.  God damnit.

Roxy and John wouldn’t have worked out????? Hey Terezi, quit it! >:[  That’s not fair, just very plausibly and authoritatively dismissing a ship we’d hoped for offscreen like--  Oh, shit, she’s alluding to something that happened in the Candy side I haven’t read isn’t she.  She would DEFINITELY have an idea of what happened on the other side of that Choice Split with her hero role.  Fuck what am I in for

....pfff, that Callie vs Dirk bit.  It’s like revenge against Doc Scratch, which it kind of IS, really.

I didn’t expect this much time to be spent dwelling on really intimate John/Terezi scenes.  It’s really refreshing!  Making this kind of meaningful no matter whether it’s black or inexplicably red they end up with or whatever, and equally meaningful if they don’t end up in any sort of relationship at all, really.

even without the aid of a juju, he is fortunate enough to be blessed with the only true form of divinity. to be released from the prison of nonsensical inhibitions which so often psychologically hobble the more primitive forms of life.

Alt!Callie, are you causing this?  I thought you wanted to be impartial.

Okay, THAT finally brought things suitably closer to the black side of romance like I would have expected.

==>

their finger hovers over dirks number for a moment, but... no. that would not be a good idea. they don’t know why they suddenly think it’s a bad idea. it just is.

Okay, THAT shred of influence is fair.  You DID say you were going to countermand his influence, so yeah.

Good excuse to get narration of her thoughts, if flimsy.  :)

Lord save me from this fake woke nightmare.

Pfffff.  Fuck you, Dirk.  ;)

ROXY: guess ill just open the damn curtains and let some light in here

FUCK you’re going to kill JADE aren’t you???? You’re giving Jade a TEMPORARY DEATH just to deny alt!Callie’s proxy?!?? That’s fucking insidious!  Fuck you, Dirk!!! That one wasn’t a loveable joke this time, that was an ACTUAL fuck you.  This epilogue is really good at making him out to be the villain now that his powers have expanded to the narrative.

Reading reading reading...

...Huh.  Is Roxy talking about coming out as non-binary and getting advice on it?  Hm!

Alright, and she’s defs a little gay for Callie from what she’s saying if it wasn’t clear before.  If “gay” even has any relevance when you’re talking about a pair of non-binary... yeah whatever.  :)

Alright, time to hear Dave talk about it all some more I guess.

--Yep, he’s only mostly gay.  Called it.  There’s a whole spectrum.

...and yeah, I mean... why NOT let it go beyond quadrants with Karkat and never slap an official label on it?  You’re just two people who love each other and want to spend time together in any capacity, be it positive or negative.  It doesn’t have to result in anything formal unless you want it to, much less boning down or something.  Dirk, stop getting creepy with how hard you’re shipping them, that’s the fanbase’s job.

Jade and Roxy are visible from this location, right?  Wasn’t it mentioned that they live in a tower in Carapaceville or whatever?  Has Dirk successfully conned alt!Callie into having her vessel shot through?  Probably.

the ongoing corruption of his cerebrally impaired daughter.

Eewwwwweweewww

Anyway yeah here comes the plot twist or whatever...

Yeah, Callie gets it wrong, and--

......ah, a tranq?  That makes more sense and is more than slightly less evil, if still ultimately evil given his eventual presumed goals or whatever.

DIRK: Like the bitch she is.

FUCK YOU

Oh, Jade’s going to be asleep for the rest of the story?  AGAIN?!????  FUCK YOU SO MUCH, DIRK.

Jesus christ.  How long is this epilogue anyway.

Taken your leave?  From this planet???  What the fuck, are you--

Oh.  Oh shit.

When Dirk ascended into absorbing the memories of all his various split selves, did he get a heaping helping of DOC SCRATCH in there too???  Was Doc Scratch’s ambition actually for POST-victory ascension in this very manner? FUCK.  Either way, him sharing some of those memories puts a pretty unique spin on his descent into goddamn evil, here.

Reading on... oh shit, did Callie write the candy half??

==>

Huh, postcoital; we actually went there.  Cool.

Ah, she gives up on Vriska?  Better find Vriska really fast, then.

Oh, you’re really going? Or, trying, anyway.

==>

Really committed to this whole ascending to literal godhood schtick, aren’t you, Dirk?

(Hm.  Makes me almost think that this situation with Rose is going to end up with someone splitting her essence entirely in two to save her; her raw Seer-ness getting forced into a convenient vessel (cueball, wonk wonk) and herself returning to consciousness a slight bit more mortal than she was before, ie not going completely insane.  Hmm.)

Oh, “Vast Fuck” sorta-maybe-confirmed..??

Stop tacitly insulting Jake as you puppet him, Dirk.  He’s a dumbass but not THAT much of a dumbass.

beta-bitch

FUCK YOU, DIRK.

She loves you, Jake, more than anything, and you toyed with her heart. 

Fuuuuuuck you.

could subsume your entire personality

Shit, he IS trying to pretty much consume them all.  Swallow their individuality and take total control of all their actions.  All Prince of Heart on the whole world.  Dirk you need to fucking DIE.

And to love Dirk is to obey him.

There isn’t a Fuck You large or loud enough to what I feel about the mental violation Dirk is inflicting on Jake right now, and everyone else around him, and I sincerely and selfishly hope this epilogue is almost over because I don’t want too many pages to stand between this one and seeing Dirk fucking PAY.

Jake opens his big, dumb mouth to make the only important contribution to the plot he ever has or ever will make in his whole sad, pointless joke of a life.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU

Let’s hope that in your hubris your looking away managed to let him say something different or some such.

==>

You try to remember if you’ve ever been revived by Jane before. You honestly can’t recall. So much shit has happened. Maybe?

Yeah, I don’t recall either really.

The poison needling through you is antithetical to narrative relevance. You’re not dying, John. You’re being erased. Cherubs don’t fuck around. We’ve both been learning that the hard way.

Okay, fuck?  How the hell?  Is this just because Dirk says it is, or???

I guess it’s tragic, though maybe not in the conventional sense. My view is, the real tragedy with you, John, is that you never mattered all that much.

Yeah, Dirk’s first fucking rant when he took over the narrative officially was about John being a you-insert nobody average guy, and the DISDAIN he shows to everything about who John is is pretty goddamn insulting.  He has NO concept of how John managed to bring everyone together or... UGH!

even though you knew both then and now that it was the only choice you possibly could have made.

Dammit, so it probably WASN’T a full timeline-bisecting Mind split.  Just a side branch that wasn’t as likely, because just like with his Denizen, John’s will was tilted toward this part of the choice.  D:

I see how some of this seems to be going, or at least think I do... Dirk thinks that John needs to die heroically “for the good of the story”, and something’s potentially going to come in and say “no”?  That the whole reason they WON was to essentially be free of that cruel logic once and for all, and that Dirk is gonna get one hell of a smackdown for trying futilely to enforce it in their new post-victory domain??

She listens to him bleed while she smells him die.

--That, and fulfilling bits of foreshadowing for shits and giggles.  >:(

Huh, “friable”, didn’t even know that was a word.  Just looked it up; you learn something new every day.

Okay what is Dirk planning with the fucking body.

==>

Jane swept the election, of course. I told you I was going to win. After Jake’s incoherent and scandalous heel-turn at Karkat’s ill-fated rally, no amount of esoteric, three-dimensional jpeg artefacts could have salvaged the Vantas campaign. 

Ah, but is that what REALLY happened, or what you’re saying happened, about to be overwritten?

Mainly that their BFF Jade has been in a coma for an entire month. They’ve been in and out of the hospital handling her affairs. Her next of kin is listed as John Egbert, and no one’s seen him in ages. It’s like he just disappeared suddenly. Like some great hand came out of the sky and crossed his name off the big list of guys we ever need to give a shit about anymore.

F U C K  Y O U

Roxy, after all, and since her big heart-to-heart about the personal politics of queer onion metaphors, and ten stages of galaxy-braining through the many vicissitudes of the phrase “no homo,” Roxy has decided to really step up her gender experimentation. I guess at this point she’s gone beyond Stage Ten. Which I imagine is somewhat like reaching Super Saiyan 2 of gender, and then going even further beyond.

Holy crap, she’s going full Dave Lalonde.  That’s pretty sweet.

...Isn’t Terezi like obviously covered in blood and stuff?

ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls

Oh my fucking GOD real!Callie please save the plot.  Nuke this self-indulgent Dirkshit.

ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um ROXY: nudity???? TEREZI: >:? ROXY: yeah yikes ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit ROXY: anyway thats kept callie kinda busy

...This is an allusion to the Candy side I haven’t read, isn’t it?  Maybe THAT’s part of what she supplants this bullshit with.  Or since it mentions “various combinations”, she’s restoring the possibility to everything that the ending was supposed to have?

This is potentially a real fucking indictment of the idea of a narrative-driven ending when what actually mattered was the characters’ escape from said narrative.  :)

ROXY: its like theyre traumatized ROXY: and they think ill drag whatever possessed jade back into our home with me

Okay fuck maybe Callie ISN’T helping.  Maybe she’s just so worried about the alternate history she could have lead that she’s retreating into every Candy-like fanfic she can think of.  :(

What’s with the phone buzz?  The intervention we’ve been hoping for, since Dirk’s making her ignore it?

Oh cool, figures Terezi’s been hearing the narrative all along and just politely not acknowledging the fact that she hears it!  Maybe SHE’LL help unfuck this mess.  (And according to her, Roxy’s gone full “him” too!)

Fuck fuck fuck Terezi don’t listen to him go against his bullshit instead

Where, canon? Is that where you’re planning to escape back to or some such, with yourself as the author? Is that orange Andrew actually you or some BS?

Dammit.

==>

FUCK, “new body”????

The new body I’ve made for her won’t have much use for her usual ensembles. That’s all I was saying.

FUCK FUCK FUCK it IS the cueball isn’t it.  Holy shit.  That’s even worse than a robot.  FZUCZK

Okay calm down.  The Rose part of Rose can be cut away and rescued from this fate somehow, if she isn’t just whole-hog rescued entirely which would also be good.  FUCK DIRK

...look purple? What?

DIRK: What’s happening here is the best thing for everybody.

Yeah, go fuck yourself.  This shit had better be undone soon.

To finally face the truth. If Rose has been spending more time with me than you, if she’s realizing she resonates more with me due to our natural similarities and finds my presence more rewarding than yours, then what does that say about YOU, Kanaya?

PFFFF. YOU’RE GONNA BREAK UP THE PAIRING JUST SO YOU CAN STEAL HER?  HAHAHAHAHAHA NO.

Okay, after THAT page’s last bit of horrid manipulation, this can’t end in any way that doesn’t involve ages of existential and literal torment for Dirk, forever.

==>

Epilogue Seven, huh.  One last thing he wants to take care of before getting out of dodge, huh.  I see Karkat and Dave’s text colors on screen.  Is he going to try to force them to finally bone down or confess?  This would be the perfect place for his plan to get fucking stopped.

Homestuck, stop making my fucking stomach clench so hard.

That’s a hell of a disaster Dirk thought up for these guys on that stage.

Part of this whole shitshow might be to tell us that this ending, this “fanfic” of dubious authenticity of an epilogue that Dirk is giving us is how DIRK believes it would end best for everyone involved, but not how everyone else would, ignoring their wills... while also discarding the idea of the epilogue that any individual reader of Homestuck would want in favor of the possibilities he meant to leave open with the ending.

Alright, here comes Dirk NOT forcing them to bone down but rather trying to persuade-brainwash them into a relationship talk.

DAVE: so what youre saying is you believe in me who believes in you

Dave. Please.

Hey, the Gurren Lagaan reference went WAY too long unsaid.  Even if Andrew literally didn’t know a thing about said anime when he made the character designs.

I look Dave right in his mind’s eye and tell him to cut it the fuck out. He wants it, you want it, so just go for it, my man. It’s now or never.

DAVE: oh DAVE: same

I feel every brain cell in my immortal body begin to perish in real time.

BAAHAHAHAAHHhahahha FUCK YOU Dirk.

I mean, I want Dave and Karkat together as much as the next guy but FUUUUUUUCK YOU DIRK!!! I want everything you ever wanted to go wrong and shit on you.  Their equivocating soft-nearly-mance is strong enough to go even against you, who thinks yourself the narrative fucking Sun.

Oh this is fantastic

I’ve literally been decapitated and that was less unbearable than this.

YES KEEP FALLING APART

You see that twinkle? That’s devotion, you unbelievably dense neutron star of a dumbshit.

Nice callback to... what was it, Dave’s first rant at Tavros to troll him back or whatever?

radially effervescing kaleidoscope of more hot boy peckers than you could ever imagine.

Yep, DEFINITELY a callback to that. I’ll never forget the sick flow of that metaphor.

DAVE: i just keep having thoughts i know id never think

SAVE US DAVE

Dammit, near miss.

The privilege of a Strider Eye Moment is about the most earth-shattering experience a young man will ever have in his life. 

Pfff

DAVE: GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD AND JUST LET ME DO THIS MYSELF!!!

yaaaaaayyy

I mean we didn’t save the whole story yet but at least Dirk got fucked over and we still get Davekat intimacy.

That’s pretty classy actually, not getting into detail and just sounding blown the fuck away by it even though he’s Dirk.  That’s pretty good.

==>

Something about the height of Rose, roughly Rose-shaped, and wrapped in a cloth. I know she’s gonna love it the first time she sees it.

Oh so it IS a robot body.  Well, fuck you a little less than it potentially being the magic cueball, but STILL fuck you.

I may have already mentioned, but I’m a bit too deft at this for my own good. Doing the thing where I tug at the part of someone’s latent thought process that already knows they adore me. That if someone would just pull the stops from their sense of inhibition, they’d realize they would do anything for me.

It’s called killing their soul with your role abilities you ASSHOLE

I hope this crush you filled him with bites you in the fucking ass now that he’s here.

DIRK: I won’t be coming back, Jake.

Oh, so you’re just going to drop the truth on him like that? Let’s see how that works out for you, asshole.

DIRK: Jane needs you now more than ever.

Oh fuck you.  This is “best for everyone”, huh?????

DIRK: You’ll just be, you know. DIRK: Her candy boy? JAKE: CANDY BOY??? DIRK: Yeah. Being on call. DIRK: Serving a multimillion-year term of giving her the right kind of “presidential action” she needs to keep going. To keep her morale up and such. DIRK: To provide her with many heirs. DIRK: Doesn’t that sound cool? JAKE: HEIRS??

Um.  What the fuck?  Is this even Dirk anymore?  It’s not Condesce intervention, I’m not going to try and suspect that just from the callback or anythiiiii-----

Fuck, we DID just get an alive Meenah dropped into a universe somewhere.

Maybe this IS Condesce intervention. Just a different Condesce.  o_O

Two ticks longer than he ever deserved.

Gah???

DIRK: But I’ll never let you break my heart again.

So this was all just revenge for dumping him??????????????

==>

Guh, back to Kanaya-- wait, why does Dirk want Terezi around, anyway?

Jade wakes up and then-- Okay. Okay my eyes flitted down to the green halfway down the page and I saw this phrase before I actually got to it.

JADE: DIRK STRIDER HAS TO BE STOPPED!!!!!!!!!!

Thank FUCK.

Anyway reading the in-between...

The scope of her awareness, she now understands, is truly staggering. Memories are suddenly accessible that are almost impossible to believe. Some of them are unspeakably marvelous to her. Others, deeply disturbing.

FUCKING COOL she got Ultimate-Selved!  Now she knows too much about what’s going on to stop her!  Get fucked, Dirk!!!!

No, more than just disturbing. She lingers in the dark recesses of her consciousness. There were things she saw, things she was told... Her mouth twists into a silent snarl. She’s been angry plenty of times before. But never so angry that she stopped being cute. She’s not cute this time.

YEAAAAAHHH JADE GET ANGRY

This had better not be Dirk intentionally riling her up since he still has control of the narrative though.

Next post.

[amnachil]

The College Society Chapter 3 Part 4

Right on time ? Idk anymore

Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey Thursday January 31

It smelled really appetizing. He had almost finished this pie, and he already knew it was a fuckin' success. I think I did my best pie ever. I'm so fuckin' good. The thought of Liam eating it made him both horny and blush timidly in the same time. Damnit. Why it's like this ? Normally, he would just have a boner when he was thinking about his prey. But with Liam... Sometimes, he didn't feel aroused but the dull need to be with him. The need to be with him, it's must be a joke. My bloody body is mocking me.

"What are you doing here ?" asked his great father, surprised. "It's uncommon to see at this hour."

"I'm baking." he answered.

"For what special occasion ? I thought you disliked to cook in the afternoon and especially for nothing."

Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey blushed again. Damn brain, damn body. Both traitors. He lowered his head to hide this shameful red on his cheeks.

"I wanted to. Don't worry, I'll find someone who'll eat it."

He pictured Liam's smile. Stop. Thinking. About. Liam. Since they had officially decided to be a couple, the junior was encountering this problem. Sometimes, he was his normal self, and fucked people. A secretary, a whore from an idiotic book club and some others. But sometimes, especially when he was with Liam, it was different. His mind wasn't thinking clearly. It was weird and a nuisance. But a part of me is liking it. I mean why the fuck I would like being with him ? I can't even bang him ! He watched the clock. Almost time. Liam had texted him everyday, and they decided to have a date tonight. He said he had several important things to ask. Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey had respected the conditions so far. He even stopped in the middle of a coitus with Gabriel to answer a text. Gabriel for god's sake, one of the best sucker he had ever met !

"I need to go grandpa." he said.

He took his pie and left, almost running. Stop it you stupid body. Don't be so excited to see him, it's pathetic. Pitiful.

Despite how much he tried to calm down, he felt totally enthousiastic when he joined Liam. They agreed to make a walk at the park. I fucked in every corner of this damned park. Every bench, every child's playground... But tonight, he didn't expect to have sex. Worst, he didn't want to. He was just happy to share a moment with the baboon. That's not normal.

"You bought a pie." noted Liam. "It smell nice."

"Don't touch it yet you foodie." he ordered. "Only after we did the stroll."

What the hell I'm saying ? He took his boyfriend hand and started to walk. For a moment, they stayed quiet. Liam started to look at the sky full of stars. Dreamin' again. So pitiable. Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey thought that, but in the same time he couldn't held but stare at the freshman's face. He looks so peaceful. He's so cute. Hell. Stop thinking.

"So... Maybe we should say some stuff to each other." suggested suddenly Liam.

"Like what ?"

"Uhm... Things to get to know each other ? My birthday is on May 18th, I'll be 19 years old. I'm 183 cm (6'0") and weight 76 kg (168 lbs). Well, I think it'll increase if you continue to feed me. I have two siblings, one sister Chloe and one brother Luka. Both younger than me. Otherwise I don't really want to talk about my family... Your turn."

That's... Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey remainded silent for a bit. A part of him wanted to ran away. So much frivolity, so much ingenuousness. It make him want to puke. But it's so adorable.

"My birthday is on July 1st, I'll be 21 years old." he said against his own will. "I do have one older sister Naomi Alexandra, already married and with a baby. I don't want to talk about my folks. I'm 178 cm (5'10") and I... Am I supposed to give all these data ? It's weird."

"Sorry." laughed Liam. "It worked like this in my old highschool. They were always checking our height and weight."

This. Laugh. It made the blond lad blush like a kid. He was sweating with stress. It's not supposed to happen. I'm a hunter. A fucking hunter.

"Your text said you wanted to ask something." he recalled in hope to change the subject. "What was it ?"

"Yeah, I have many question in fact." confessed Liam. "But we can talk about most later. For now, I have one priority. I think Theo will ate my roommate Nick. Do you think there is a way to prevent this ?"

He asked so genuinely. He just spoke about canibalism. He's insane. So why I'm melting for it ? Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey was definitely going through someting weird.

"I'll see what I can do." he promised.

They sat on a bench. They were only a few people around. It was a bit cold, and for a dreadful moment, the Dean's grandson wished to put his head on Liam's shoulder and embrace him softly. Thanks god, this urge disappeared as fast as it came. Slowly, he took a slice of pie and gave it to his boyfriend. This one ate it happily.

"Damn, you outdid yourself Dami." he congratulated. "I thought you couldn't be better, I was wrong. How long was the preparation ?"

Four fuckin' hours. I skipped one class and two sex meeting do bake this. Fuck you.

"Not that much." Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey just lied. "I hope you'll eat the whole thing."

"Of course I'll. I told you, all your pastries are mine. I want them."

He didn't know why, but the blond lad really felt pleased when he heard those words.

Liam Saturday February 2

Theo's family lived in a impressive penthouse in town. When Liam arrived, he felt poor. Well in truth, his father was a millionaire, but he didn't count that. (It probably was dirty money anyway).

"Let's meet my dad." smiled Theo. "You'll see, he's nice."

There were two things wrong about the whole situation. First, Liam was about to go in the ogre's den. Not good at all. (But Liam the 8yo always dreamed about adventure so... It was time to be brave). Second, when he had texted Dami about this, his boyfriend replied, word for word :

< Dami : Fuckrnthisnjtassholenvirdonhq'tnigo. >

(It probably was a code). (For what Liam understood, it meant something like "be prudent, I miss you"). (Maybe Dami was having some... business while he answered, but it was better to think it was a code) (And to be honest, Dami was always sending weird text).

"Dad, this is Liam Strucker. Well, you already know him."

The freshman went back to reality when he faced his father's lawyer, Mr. Meyers. He was a creepy old man, maybe as brawny as his son's. Another ogre... Damnit.

"Nice to you meet you again young man." he said with his deep, serious voice. "Theo told me you wanna intercede for your mother Rachel ?"

"Yeah..."

Liam didn't really come with a plan. He didn't know why he agreed for this in the first place.  Be alone with two ogres wasn't good at all. (Don't worry, he had put his magical shoes. If needed, he could fly thanks to unicorn's power). (Maybe, at this point, some people would think Liam was completely insane and under influence. To those people, no he wasn't. His imagination just got the best of him).

"Isaac wants an alimony of at least 2000$ per month." explained Mr. Meyers.

"It's more than my mother salary !" rebelled Liam. "How could he be so greedy after everything he already won ?!"

"I'm not asking him as long as I get paid."

"Dad, be nice." interrupted Theo. "And you Liam, stay cool. I'm sure we can find a kind of... agreement, can't we ?"

The freshman nodded. His phone was constantly ringing in his pocket. The vibrations were kinda... titillating.

"Can you put in a good word for me to my father ?" he asked. "I'm ready do to anything you want to in exchange."

"Okay. Just... stay for diner."

"But I'm supposed to work..."

"Do you want me to help your mother or not ?"

Of course he wanted.

Liam took the time to call Judy, and said he couldn't make it tonight. She agreed, as long as it was the first and only time. Then, he called Dami back, since this one had made 24 calls in less than two  hours. (Dami wasn't a text guy, his messages were always in code and filled with spelling mistake, which made them incomprehensible for the most part).

"At least you're answering you baboon !" his boyfriend shouted. "I thought Theo had devoured you !"

Then, he whispered :

"I didn't intend to say that. Fuck myself."

"I'm fine." reassured Liam. "In fact, Theo and his father invited me to diner."

"And you said yes ?! But what if you're in danger or.... I mean, ain't ya supposed to be workin' ?"

The freshman smiled. Sometimes, Dami was weird, in a cute way.

"I called Judy and she said it's fine. Don't worry too much, you know I can take care of myself."

He distinctly heard his boyfriend swear and promise he would call Judy to talk some sense into her head.

"I think they're waiting me." said Liam. "Dami, trust me it'll be fine. Don't take it out on some random guy okay ?"

"Grmbl, fine. See you tomorow at noon."

The diner happened to be fine. They were a bit generous with the portions, as he could've expected from ogres. (He tried his best to not overindulge but... Damn he had became a food-lover again). (Dami had reawaken his sweet tooth and his gluttony). Then, they shared a glass of wine. Liam wasn't into wine or any alcohol, but Mr. Meyers insisted. Afterwards, Theo brought him home. During the trip however, the chestnut lad started to feel sick. He was a bit nauseous. His eyes were closing against his will. (And it wasn't fatigue, he was an sleep expert, he knew when it wasn't). Being more and more uncomfortable, Liam put an hand on his slightly distended belly, and another on his forehead.

"Everything's fine ?" asked Theo.

"I don't know. I don't feel well."

He was losing consciousness, he knew this. The ogre trapped me. He'll eat me. He tried to activate his flying shoes, but failed. He noticed they were idle. Please, let me.

"I'm sorry Liam." whispered Theo. "I don't like it this way, but hell, I'm just losin' so hard. It's not only money, it's also my reputation which is at stake. And I don't have any other option. Seduce you is impossible, you're just too weird. I'm sure he failed too. And I'm not waiting that he drugs you first. Don't worry, it won't be long nor painful..."

Liam found enough strenght to get out the car. He wanted to run, but fell onto the sidewalk. He heard a feminine voice.

"Hey guys. Is he alright ?" she asked, seemingly worried.

"I think he drank too much." said Theo. "He just started to feel ill."

"Let me see. Shall we call 911 ?"

"It's not necessary. I should bring him back home."

"I will come with you, to be sure he's fine. I got a nurse diploma."

Liam was maybe dreamin'. The voice went silent for a while.

"Okay." eventually ceded Theo. "Help me put him here..."

"Deborah. I'm Deborah."

Barbara Saturday February 2 (at the same time as Liam's chapter)

This morning, when she eventually got ready, she headed towards the Dean's quarter. She had a special mission in order to please the hunters. Make the king fall. It was a bit thrilling honestly. She met Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey when he left the building.

"Hi." she greeted with her brightest smile. "Can I talk to you ?"

He looked at his phone angrily.

"Fast. I'm in a hurry."

Maybe someone already warned him about Theo's plan. I need to be prudent and smart on this one.

"I was wondering, could you attend to the general assembly of the student union ? I know you don't like these stuffs usually but... I think you should be there for once. As the president of the cooking club of course."

He looked at her, not convinced.

"Summer's summarizing this bullshit for me. Not that I care. For real, a bunch of dummies fighthing for money, it's like watch some rabbits fight for a carrot. Funny, but nothing more."

Of course, you greatfather gives you all the funds you need anyway. This man really was arrogant. Barbara already knew Summer was devoted to him. In fact, she counted on this.

"I can't agree more but this time, I don't think Summer will defend your interest. She might even give some support to Theo and the swim club."

"And why that ?"

He was losing patience. He's used to get eveything instantly. Finally, he's really different from Raphaël. But as powerful... For now.

"You ditched her for me. And you're losing your bet. C'mon, the best hunter is gonna let them do the general assembly without him ? Summer can convince them all you're out of the running."

"I'm not losing. You know what ? I'll come and watch for a bit." he grumbled. "Oh and... I really want to fuck you, but I think you are too tiny to handle the thing, if you know what I mean."

She let him speak. You're so full of yourself. But this evening, you'll lose absolutely everything.

The general assembly happened to be boring, since she wasn't the president yet. Javier and Summer were doing all the work. Mostly Summer. They listened representatives from each clubs. Barbara noticed Steve, from the music band. She had tried to speak with him on tuesday, but as the other, he liked the stupid head of the student. There were some others hunters among the crowd, but she didn't know most of them. The swim club was represented by a petite girl and a cocky sophomore. The running team by this black girl and her captain, a blonde one. Many other groups tried to catch the lower dollar Summer was givin'. Of course, the football captain Oliver got the biggest budget. Barbara looked towards Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey. He was watching his cellphone, but keeping a calm and neutral expression. He's good, I can say. But I think he's worried. He knows somethin's happening.

They made a break after two hours. They hadn't made any progress. There were still a lot of clubs unhappy and complaining. But it was clear Summer was managing the meeting well.

"Hey Barbara. Long time no see."

The blonde turned towards Leila. What on earth is she doing here ? In front of people, they had always looked friends. Back in 12th grade, where Colton was the king of their pitiful highschool, they both stayed close to him. They used his power. We were at war. Two queens. But in college, it was different. Colton was nothing more than an useless handsome guy. In fact, he never had the guts to be a real king. At start, Barbara had hoped he would make an effort. But she had understood she needed to work for herself. Alone. Leila've been hating her since the beginning.

"What are you doing here ?" she asked. "This is an important meeting."

"Yeah, a general assembly. All students are allowed to be here." Leila replied. "And I'm the secretary of the Women-defense club, remember ?"

"This useless association who's supposedly defending women rights ? I didn't even know you've a budget."

"Well we're not defending only women nowadays, but everyone who needs protection. And you've always been a real cocky bitch." insulted Leila. "I knew you had dated Colton only to take advantage of his popularity. And now ? He came to this college for you, you know this. He could've been in a way better university. And you want to make him meet some random girl ? Don't try to justify yourself. Just keep in mind I'll make you pay, one way or another."

"Sorry, miss secretary of I don't know what, but you don't scare me at all. Now I have some duties. See you later."

The end of the general assembly came. Summer had done quite a good job. But I can do better, for sure. Barbara glimpsed Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey calling someone. She came closer, but stayed quiet when he groused :

"I'm not asking Debbie. Just go. I know this asshole is up to something bad. I have a gut feeling."

His interlocutor replied during a moment, but he cut off :

"Just go ! You're supposed to protect people aren't you ?! You'll recieve the location."

Then he hung up. I guess he has a lot more ressources than I expected. I think Theo might lose after all...

To be continued

A little part where two awkward and socially inept guys try to interact with eachother. Seriously, Damian and Liam are weirdos. But they’ve a point of agreement : this pie is delicious.

Barbara plays with fire, but she likes it.

[imgoldielikehawn]

The winning fic is....

Just A Dancer Part 9

Word count/ 2,100

Rated M

ENJOY

JAIS POV

  In the coming weeks there were several things that I was goin to learn about Cora. Fa one; she is a force to be reckoned with and fa two this woman would be the mum of my kids. If we weren’t rooting like rabbits we were fightin like dogs and the root after the fights were even betta.  Fucks sake every time she opened er mouth there was a part of me that was dyin to hear every word she said and the other part wanted to see her perfect mouth on my well…. ya get the point.  I was sittin at the bar readin the newspaper when she came walking out of the bedroom in one of my shirts and nothing else.

“Damnit woman do you ya want me to attack you before breakfast, walkin around like that.” I peered over my newspaper as she walked to the coffee pot.

“I’m sorry; does my lack of clothing distract you from your morning paper?” She grinned over the top of her mug.

“Everything about ya distracts me Sheila.” I was feeling my shorts becoming more uncomfortable by the minute.

  “Well I wouldn’t want you distracted Jai. Speaking of shouldn’t you be halfway out of the house by now?” She leaned against the counter taking another sip of coffee.

“Yeah well Mila n me already went on our morning jog and I got that meeting at 12 so I’ll leave in an hour or so.”  I watched her walk over to me and spin the barstool around. She placed her hands on my shoulders an pulled herself up into my lap. I obediently wrapped my arms around her waist and my hands spread over her perfect ass.

“Well alright, we start back at rehearsal today so I guess I’ll see you later tonight?”  She leaned forward and kissed my lips.

It was never just a kiss with her; it couldn’t be, not with me around. I kissed her back and before she could say no I brought my hand around from her backside to where her legs were wide open for me.  I smirked at her small sharp intake of breath when my fingers brushed over her clit.

  “Ya wanna give me a proper send off.” My deep voice sent a shudder through her that even I could feel.

  “You know if we keep on like this, were going to have a baby.” she said against my chest. I was still stroking her clit making her fidget.

“Oh we’re gonna have Sprogs, maybe sooner than ya think but fa now I need ta get more practice.” I moved my hands under her Thighs and carried her off into our bedroom.

        CORAS POV

  After Jai left for his meeting I realized that more than anything I needed a shower. When I stepped out I could hear Mila barking loudly. I hate it when she barks because it’s so loud and she’d been trained to only bark in an emergency or when she couldn’t get my immediate attention. Wrapping a towel around myself I opened the bathroom door and saw why she was making such a fuss.

Standing in the door way was Mecki. A thousand things went through my brain in that moment.  What the fuck was she doing here? Why did she still have a fucking key? Did I really have to be standing in a towel right now? Irony has no self-respect I swear! 

We both looked at each other with disdain and annoyance and I finally broke the silence.

“What are you doing here Mecki?” I said in a tired tone.

“I should be asking you that!” she snapped back.

“Now look here, I don’t know what happened with you and Jai because its none of my business; but you damn sure aren’t going to storm up in here like you own the place and question me, whose name is on the lease, why am I here.” I Frowned and crossed my arms.  “You can talk to me like a woman or you can get the hell out.” I watched her eyes widen as I scolded her.

“Listen bitch, there was a me before there was ever a you and damnit I deserve an explanation as to why he chose… he chose... YOU! OVER ME!” She screamed.

I was a perfect lady until she called me a bitch. “Excuse me, but I could have sworn I heard you call me out of my divine and fabulous name, Ya two-bit hooker. Now you have two seconds before I beat your ass and show you just how much of a bitch I can be darling.” As I bristled so did Mila beside me sensing my anger.

Mila squared off with Mecki in front of me and I watched the fear creep into Meckis eyes.

“She’s 105 Pounds Mecki, so unless you want to be mauled to death I suggest you take your shit and go.”  I said as Mila started to growl.

“This isn’t over.” She cut her eyes and backed out of the front door.

I laughed and said. “It was over when I moved in trick!”

      JAIS POV

  When I got home from my meeting the house was really quiet which is not normal.  I knew Cora had practice but it was almost nine at night, she should have been back already.  No matter, I undid my tie and popped the first three buttons on my shirt while I continued to walk through the dark apartment. I stopped in the kitchen and opened up the fridge...

“Hello Jai...” a voice said in the dark making me jump and curse.

“Damnit Woman! Why the fuck are you sitting in the night like this! Scared me half to death!” I flicked on the light and saw Cora standing behind me leaning against the counter frowning.

“Mecki payed me a visit today, in our home… using her key Jai.” Her chocolate eyes were like daggers.

“What the fuck! She’s fucking mad! What did she say?” I raised my voice.

“Be a gentleman and ask her why don’t you.” She looked at the floor and scoffed.

“Wadya mean by that Cora?” I could sense the situation had changed and I needed to proceed with caution.

“She had her own key Jai; she just barged right in like she didn’t know I live here with you!” Her eyes flicked to mine and her jaw was taught, she was angry and hurt. I didn’t say anything and the room grew cold and silent.

“She doesn’t know about me does she?” her long lashes brushed her cheeks.

“No.” I hung my head and there was a reason for it to, I want really ready to have this conversation with Cora and I felt trapped.

“Why, why doesn’t she know about me?  It’s no wonder she looked so shocked to see Mila at the door!” Her voice was pained and I could feel my chest tighten and fill with guilt.

“I just hadn’t gotten around to it yet...” I said weakly.

“Why would it matter if she knew or not, she’s not in your life any more right Jai? Right?”  Her Small shoulders rose and fell.

“Cor, please...” I trailed off.

“No, I’ve had enough. Your lies won’t impress me! I am out of here. I’m not some dirty little secret to be kept hidden while you have your cake and eat it too!” She tunred from me and headed towards the bedroom.

“Damit Cora Don’t! Let me explain myself!” I stood stalk still by the fridge as she fluttered round gatherin her stuff. I wanted to grab her and make her listen but what could I say? This looked bad from every angle. Best for me to let her leave an hope she’d answer her phone later.

    CORAS POV

I felt like a fucking tornado as I ran back and forth around Jais and mine apartment. I was too angry to sit down and hear what was actually going on with him and Mecki. When I piled everything by the door I turned around to find Jai staring at me almost in desperation. I lifted my index finger and motioned for him to come to me. 

“I don’t know what is going on with you two but I want it over, or I won’t come back  god damnit I am fucking excellent and what I do and what I bring to the table and I will not share. Not with anyone for anyone.” He towered over me and I could see his eyes fill with yearning. His strong hands gripped my waist and he walked me backwards against the apartment door.

“I wan ya. I don’t wan her.” His voice was low and inviting.

“Show me.” I whispered against his lips.

His large hand spread against the door in the space above my head. I looked up into his lust blown blue eyes and his lips found mine with ease, the moments between us languid and arousing. I hissed when his knee separated my legs and he pulled my arms over my head. Our sensual grind sent my body into overdrive with only the sound of our breath in the sexual tension filled air. This man knew my body so well it shocked me. The power he had over me was so much more than I was used to and when I was pulled up into his embrace against the door all my willpower faded.  His strong shoulders felt like they were made for my hands; I wrapped my legs around his solid torso.  If it’s possible to come completely undone from a kiss and a well-placed grind then that’s exactly what was happening.

When we reached the bedroom Jai Placed me on the bed and loomed over me casting a shadow in the soft lamplight. Each kiss he planted on my coco skin left me wanting more and desperate. He stopped just above my hips and ran his tongue beneath my panty line. I bucked my hips at the warm trail his tongue left.  “You taste so good Sheila now I wanna taste ya drippin cunt too.” He said pulling my sweats down. I sat up and watched him kiss me through my black lace panties. Jai pulled them to the side and kissed my sensitive bud again. My back arched as his tongue delved into my aching folds and I began to roll my hips in motion with his tongue strokes. 

“Don’t Stop” I whimpered and he started to suck firmly on my clit.

“I wan ya to cum fa me.” His voice added to the sensation as he worked me over the edge.

Jai slipped in one finger and my walls gripped him in welcome and when he added a second one I closed my eyes as his tongue flicked my clit and his fingers brushed my spot over and over again until I was a writhing mess above him. I could feel the damp space beneath me spread as I came on Jais hand and mouth. He wasted no time replacing his fingers with his throbbing cock. Being filled by him so suddenly made me gasp but when I tried to sit up he forced me back down placing his hand against my throat. His motions were steady and slow, making me feel tortured.

“Faster Please” I pleaded.

“Oh Sheila, I love it when you beg. ya wan me ta fuck ya?” He chuckled continuing his pace.

“Yes”   I whined watching his torso glisten with a thin layer of sweat.

“Yes wut?”  Jai asked, picking up my legs and pulling me to the edge of the bed.

“Please” 

His pace picked up immediately and so did my desire. He slammed into me over and over again showing no mercy. I was halfway between crying for him to stop and screaming for him to go harder when my legs went over his shoulders and his fingers were on my clit. Sex with jai was never a bore that’s for sure and when I came again he came with me; His warm cum filling my pussy along with his cock, his shuddering figure a magnificent sight. He pulled out and flopped on the bed beside me face down. I used the opportunity to gather my sweats and panties and tip toed out of the bedroom while his soft snores filled the air. My Mind hadn’t changed even with amazing makeup sex.  A woman like me wasn’t made to share, it was either her or me and only Jai could make that choice….

[arkyiiykra-blog]

Cause and Effect

I have a problem with people creating problems and using problems to solve them,

Because they think they’re bob, but they’re like a sponge soaking up ignorance, lacking creativity and intelligen-

“-Daycee how is this relevant?”

Well… those are the tools to solve them.

“Why did you reference a sponge?”

Kyi keep up, they’re soaking up ignorance on some square shit,

“Dog what… this is too much, I can’t even-“

-Dammit Kyi-

“Don’t worry disregard him.”

Every since MLK had that damn dream, we’ve been stuck in inception.

Black vs White, Black vs Black, Black vs All, that’s why my people’s stay with that protection.

They don’t like us, we from the hood, but even in the hood there’s subjection.

A black man poisoning the block.

“Kill the evil.”

A white man see’s opportunity so he becomes a cop.

“Kneel to eagle.”

Uh oh… now there’s many objections.

“Why are you bringing up dogmatic debates?”,

Because Kyi, this shits an infection.

We just want to fight because there’s no sense of direction.

We believe in racism and discrimination, but not unity.

We fight, we kill, we fight, we kill, while ignoring the community.

We want change so bad, we’re skipping self-reflection.

That’s why many lost their identity in self-respect and,

Wonder why we feel a disconnection.

Words as my weapon,

I’m fighting for freedom, to free minds.

SW .38 revolver, my nigga sweatin,

He was fighting to “Free Dom”,

Another nigga with too much free time.

All that aggression to payback deception,

Got my nigga a free home,

He could’ve pressed stop, he chose play,

Finger itching, he popped Tay,

“FREEZE!”, said the cop, heart dropped.

Now my nigga wish he could rewind.

He should’ve left that clip alone,

Hollywood syndrome,

A nigga that’s gotta be well known.

“Give me some History and Mystery.”

Here’s knowledge on Martin and Malcolm.

I’ll explain why King had a dream,

And why X got ex’d as an outcome.

Palindrome, MLK is KLM backwards,

That explains how he saw the future.

Now I recently learned that dreams are another reality, so in sake of spirituality,

Luther knew of the bigger picture and wanted it to happen sooner.

So he gave himself. It’s not a sacrifice it was his role.

They thank god for his speech, I thank y’all for a shooter.

“That statement is very provocative.”

Opposite if we were more cognitive rather than ignorant,

Lack of understanding is why many will miss the ironic humor.

Now Malcolm is different, he wanted equality but couldn’t see it.

Caught in the middle between W and Y,

X got stuck in the past, which is WHY He focused on White’s,

Extending the same way of thinking into black Youth; superiority of race, and we believed it,

Which is why we continued to be sick,

Fighting fire with fire, nightmares destroying dreaming,

“Earlier you said dreams are reality.”

The Mind is powerful, when you look at the world, watch how you perceive it.

Installing discrimination and racism is all strategic,

It only exist in reality because we conceived it,

X saw this later but by then it was too late, many road the wave,

He got ex’d after attempting change in the boat he created unaware that his people were seasick.

We pulling triggers everyday, nigga who made you?

Churches saying “The devil made you”,

Justifiable reasons; “Nigga I’m doing what I gotta do to make due”,

“I ain’t have a daddy.” Well nigga who raised you,

Hate our women, “Never trust a hoe”, but your mama bathed you,

“Fuck the police”, not the trauma that corner gave you?

“The streets raised me”, don’t let that trauma brake you,

“Survival of the fittest”, uh oh did you miss it?

Y’all niggas declaring war, gunning then running, saying you’re brave, but bullets are boomerangs-

“The more he sent the sooner it came?”

He didn’t realize when aiming away that he’ll get erased to.

All these casualties for dead presidents and it still isn’t evident, That extending the dead men red plan is why ya niggas extending the graves to.

Red is the root Chakra, it means survival, so I can see why a black man searching for his roots is what makes him liable to a lie they told that involves the bible and a vicious cycle of ignorance that got niggas thinking Jesus will aid you or that, Jesus will save you if you follow the words of a text that slaves you into believing a God that punish or rewards his children that disobey or follow the ten commandments,

Damnit, blame you for believing the creator of all would shame most and fame few, so again, I ask the question… Nigga who made you?

Because if it is God then it’s also apart of our DNA,

Which means we are all God and possess it’s traits of love, perfection, curios-,

“-and to create to.”

Yes, but that’s just a summary,

It’s hard to understand such a thing when ignorance is what’s holding us back.

Year after year we battle over things because of lack.

Not understanding creates fear, and out of fear, we attack.

All these boundaries keeping humanity as a world from communication,

We ignore them and point fingers to each other and wonder why we’re tracking back.

Worried about a race indulging in one another,

If you listen to EDM you’re weird, if you listen to rap you want to be black.

As a youth, we get our morals from adults, a generation that uses opinions over facts.

We never stop to look at the fact, the youth control the world, we keep the growth on track.

We love each other, divert from old hostile thinking,

Create our own reality of acceptance of all, and our parents say,

“Your generation don’t know how to act.”

No need to argue, they just don’t understand,

How lost and off track they were.

How they followed money, greed, envy, and a system with a plan,

To create lack and suppressed knowledge, many were aware and refused to take a stand.

I’ve never been a coward so I’m trying to hold hands,

With every woman and man that’s tired of selfish command.

It’s time for selfless demand,

We need to join as a species and become one as a world.

Understand cause and effect,

End to begin or continue what has begun until a chaotic end.

[filmfanatic82]

Anything... (Chapt 6)

AO3 Link (HERE)

“Checkmate.” Zack leans back on his chair, planting his hands behind his head with a semi-cocky grin.

“What? Bullshit!” Trini scans the chessboard in sheer disbelief. She can’t bring herself to accept that Zack has beaten her once again and yet the board doesn’t lie. It’s indeed a checkmate.

Trini had shown up at Zack’s trailer, three hours ago, shortly after school let out, with no actual explanation as to why she was there. She had just waltzed in with a box of plain glazed donuts and a iced caramel latte -- Zack’s mom’s favorite -- plopped herself down at the kitchen table and asked Zack to set up the board.

And that’s what Trini loves about the most about her friendship with Zack. She never needs to explain herself. No barrage of questions. No need to fill the silence with pointless small talk. Zack just knows how to be there for her without making it into something more.

“‘Fraid so, Crazy Girl.”

“You fuckin’ cheated,” Trini grumbles, crossing her arms firmly against her body. 

“Nope.” Zack adds a pop on the end of the word, just to irk Trini even further. He knows he’s playing with fire, but then again, is more than accustomed to getting burned by the fiery Latina. “You just suck.”

“Again.”

Zack lets out a chuckle and then starts to set back up the board. “We can play all night, if you want, Shorty. You’re not gonna beat me.”

“Again,” Trini replies with a stubborn determination. She’s not ready to throw the towel in just yet.

“Whatever you say, Mrs. Hart.”

“Fuck you.”

“Never in a million years. I’ve seen what your girl can do. There’s no way I’m gettin’ on her bad side.”

“She’s not my--”

“Girl. Yeah… Yeah… Let’s see what tune you’re whistlin’ after tomorrow night.” Zack makes his opening move on the board without even a second thought.

Trini lets out a frustrated sigh as she sinks her head into her hands and studies the board.

“It’s just a date.”

“Ah. That, my friend, is where you’ve got it all wrong. It’s a first date. Emphasis on the word first. As in first of many… Or, as in first and only. All depends.”

“On what?” Trini finally makes up her mind and cautiously moves her pawn across the board.

No sooner as her hand moves off of her piece, Zack swoops in and counters. He isn’t even breaking a sweat.

“Check.”

“Damnit!” Trini quickly moves her king to safety. “Depends on what?”

“On you, my mini Cassanova. What’s your plan?” Zack swiftly moves another piece, not even paying attention to the board.

“I… I…”

“You’ve got a plan, right? C’mon, Crazy Girl. You’ve gotta have a plan.”

“I do.”

“Then what is it?” Zack captures yet another one of Trini’s pieces, plopping it down into his ever growing pile.

“What’s what?”

“Your grand plan. Ya know. The one where you sweep Kim off of her feet and then you two go back to her place and--”

“You finish that sentence and it’ll be your last, Taylor.” Trini shoots Zack a death stare as she slams her piece down on the board, causing it to slightly crack in the process. “We’re gonna go see a movie.”

“And?”

“And what? That’s it.”

Zack shakes his head in slight disbelief and lets another chuckle slip out. “That’s not a first date.”

“Says who?”

“Says everyone who’s ever gotten a second date,” Zack replies with a smirk. He moves his knight across the board, blocking in Trini’s king with a well calculated death blow. “Checkmate.”

“Fuck.”

In a fit of frustration, Trini suddenly sweeps her hand over the board, sending all of the remaining pieces scattering about the kitchen. She sinks her head down into the confines of her arms, hiding herself away from the world for a moment.

Shit.

Trini shouldn’t have done that. Not that the chessboard is anything of real value to Zack. Hell, Trini has already replaced it four times in the last six months.  

It’s more about the the sudden burst of emotions.

Trini has always been somewhat of a master of her emotions. And by master, she means, bottling them up and shoving them deep down inside with the hopes that they will never, ever see the light of day.

But lately--

“I’m not good at these things,” Trini whispers in a low, hushed tone, almost as if she secretly hopes it goes unnoticed.

A momentary stillness falls between the two of them and then suddenly--

THUD.

“Hey!” Trini head pops up just in time to see the black knight piece ricochet off of her head and onto the kitchen table in front of her. “What the hell?”

“Stop thinkin’ about it, Crazy Girl. Just be you. The rest will take care of itself.”

“That’s it? Some sage ass advice.”

Zack simply shrugs his shoulders and gets up from his seat, stretching his lengthy limbs in the process. “Yup.”

With that, Zack plants a brotherly kiss on the top of Trini’s head and heads through the kitchen towards the bathroom, leaving Trini to sit there lost within her own thoughts.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Why you have a tie?”

Trini’s eyes pop open at the sound of her brother Diego’s voice as it cuts through the peaceful silence of her bedroom. She pulls her headphones down and scrambles up to a sitting position on her bed.

Fuuuuck.

There, before her, stands Diego, holding a bag -- the bag of clothes that Kimberly picked out for her to be exact -- in one hand and a skinny, pale yellow tie in the other.

“Girls don’t wear ties.”

Trini’s mind instantly goes into overdrive. What the fuck should she do?

She NEEDS that bag and not like in a few days kind of way… Trini needs it in less than two hours time. 

“Give it.” Trini lunges in an attempt to snatch the bag, but Diego’s too quick. He counters her move, dangling the bag just out of her reach.

“Why?”

“Cause it’s mine, Asswipe. Now give it back.”

“No way.” Diego turns his back towards Trini and starts to rummage through the rest of the of the bag, with little to no disregard for its actual contents.  

Trini can feel her blood boiling as she watches Diego's grubby little paws manhandle the items of clothes as if they are some long lost artifact that needs to be thoroughly studied.

Those are HER CLOTHES.

The ones that Kimberly took her time picking out just for Trini and Trini alone. The ones that she is going to wear on their date… their first date. The one that make Trini feel more like herself than anything else that happens to reside in her closet.

“Where’d you get these? They look like Papí’s.”

“Give… it… back…” Trini growls, inching closer to Diego. She puffs herself up a bit, trying her best to appear threatening even though she’s only at best an inch taller than he is.

“Make me,” Diego counter, sticking his tongue out in true 10-year-old annoying, little brother fashion. 

And that’s all Trini needs to hear. In a burst of sudden rage, she up and tackles Diego to the floor, pinning his arms behind his back in the process.

“Mamí!!” Diego screams out as he squirms under the weight of Trini’s body.  

“Trinity Maria Rodriguez!”

Trini instantly lets go of Diego at the sound of her name… her full name.

Double fuuuck.

Trini’s mother, June, appears in the bedroom doorway, earrings still in hand and heels halfway on. From the stern look painted across her face, it’s clear that she’s anything but happy.

“Mamí!” Diego pops up off of the floor and races towards June, tucking himself behind her body like a human shield. “Trini attacked me.”

“Trinity, what have I told you about--”

“He started it! He was going through my stuff,” Trini blurts out as she pulls herself up off of the ground and quickly straighten out her shirt.

Trini knows how this looks. 

And, moreso, she knows her mother. It’s not going to matter what Trini says or if she’s truly in the wrong or not…   

Her mother has already made her mind up. Trini is guilty.

She’s always guilty.

June’s eyes scan over the random pieces of the clothing strewn about the floor and immediately hones in on the lone yellow tie. “¿De quién es la corbata?”

“It’s Trini’s,” Diego pipes up from behind June.

Trini cringes at these words. She knows this isn’t going to end well.

“Mija?”

“It’s nothin’” Trini mumbles in response as her body instinctively shrinks inwards.  

“Las chicas no llevan este tipo de cosas,” June spats back out, with a level of utter disdain to her voice. She swiftly makes her way into the room, collects the items on the floor, and stuffs them back into the bag as if she’s touching old, dirty rags.

“¿Comprende?”

Trini gives the tiniest of nods, not able to bring herself to actual form coherent words. She watches, somewhat frozen in place, as June turns back around and leaves her room, bag in hand, followed close behind by Diego.

Trini can’t seem to breathe.

Logically, she knows her lungs are still working. That air is travelling in and out of her body at a semi-regular rate.

And yet…

Trini collapses back onto her bed as an overall sense of numbness washes over her. Two distinct trails of tears snake their way down her cheeks. 

Trini really needed that bag.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Trini lightly jogs down main street, zig-zagging her way through the oncoming flow of pedestrian traffic.

She’s late. Fifteen freakin’ minutes late for their first date. 

And to top it all off, Trini’s got nothing to show for it. No special outfit. No bouquet of pink roses. Hell, not even a box of Kimberly’s favorite chocolate cake glazed donuts.

All Trini has is just herself and truthfully, at this very moment, she isn’t quite sure if it’s enough. Especially for someone like Kimberly. 

Trini’s grand plan hadn’t accounted for her mother finding her outfit nor the 45 minute impromptu lecture that had followed. The one where Trini was reminded once again that no self-respecting “girl” would ever get a boyfriend by dressing in button downs and ties. That that type clothing only leads to questions and rumors spread around in hushed whispers from her mother’s church going friends.

Trini rounds the corner and immediately spots Kimberly-- 

God, she’s wearing her leather jacket. 

-- across the street, standing in front of the theater. She goes to open her mouth to call out to her, when suddenly-- 

Two massive hands jut out from behind Trini, one wrapping over her mouth and another around her waist.

Before Trini even has time to react, she’s lifted right off of the ground and thrown into a nearby side alleyway.

THUD.

Trini’s body collides a brick wall with a mind-numbing crunch, sending bits of debris flying in every direction. She slides downwards, awkwardly landing on the cold, wet ground below.  

What the fuck?

Trini shakes her head a bit as her world comes back into focus. She springs onto her feet and comes face to face with--

Tommy Oliver.

“Hello Trini.” A twisted, almost predatory like, smile crawls across Tommy’s lips as he looms over Trini.

“Jesus! What the hell?” Trini throws a punch at Tommy, but he anticipates her move and counters by grabbing hold of her wrist, wrenching her arm upwards in the process.

Pain. 

That’s all Trini can process at the moment. Pure, undiluted pain. It radiates out from her wrist and courses through the rest of her body at an excruciating rate.

One more inch and her arm’s going to shatter into a million and one pieces.

“Good. Now, that I’ve got your attention, we need to chat.” Tommy readjusts his hold on Trini and with one fell swoop, flings her across the alleyway, directly into the side of a dumpster.

SMACK. 

Trini hits the dumpster at full force, instantly creating a body sized indentation. She once again tumbles to the ground, rolling onto her hands and knees and spats out a mouthful of blood. 

“Fuck.” Trini stumbles, trying to regain her footing, pulling herself up into a fighting stance.   

Something is wrong.

 Trini can’t pinpoint it, but something is seriously, freakin’ wrong.

She feels weak. No. Scratch that. Trini feels like all of her strength has been up and zapped right out of her body.

She can barely manage to stand at the moment, let alone actually defend herself. 

What the hell’s going on?

“Ah. Yeah. I bet you’re wondering why you feel as weak as an ICU patient, right?”  Tommy strides over towards Trini and shoves her backwards, right back onto the ground.

Trini winces in pain as she lands hard on her arms. She doesn’t attempt to get back up.  

Tommy digs into his jeans pocket and produces a-- 

GREEN POWER COIN. 

“Spectacular, isn’t it? Something so small can wield such a massive amount of power. But I don’t have to tell you about it. You’ve got a matching one of these in your pocket.”

“How?” Trini stares at the power coin in sheer disbelief.

There can’t be another coin… right?

Zordon would’ve mentioned it. He wouldn’t freely chose to skip over this critical piece of information. Would he?

There has to be another explanation…

“You know how,” Tommy replies with an underlying menacing tone to his voice.

“Rita.”

“Bingo.”

Tommy takes a moment to flip the coin into the air, letting the street lights dance against its emerald green center. “But unlike yours. This one’s an extra bit special. Call it Ranger kryptonite.”

Then, without a moment’s hesitation, Tommy snatches the coin mid air and presses it down hard against Trini’s cheek.

“Ahhhhhh,” Trini screams out in agony as streaks of green light pulsate throughout her skin. It burns deep within her soul as if thousands of microscopic knives are stabbing every inch of her very being.

Tommy Oliver is going to kill her. Right here and now. In a dingy alleyway, only fifty feet away from Kimberly…

Oh God… Kimberly.

With every ounce of strength Trini has left, she raises her hand and slaps away the coin, sending it flying into a nearby puddle. 

“Wrong move, Yellow,” Tommy growls in response. He scrambles to retrieve the coin, shoving it back into his pocket.

“Your not gonna get away with this,” Trini huffs out, trying her best to remain calm even though she can barely catch her breath, let alone move.

“Oh, but I will. And you’re going to let me.”

“In your dreams, Asshole.”

“Two words. Kimberly Hart.” Another twisted smile crawls back across Tommy’s face. “You say one word of this. Any of this. To anyone. And I’ll make sure that you get the full pleasure of watching your girlfriend die.”

“You wouldn’t…”

“Try me.” Tommy gives an exaggerated shrug of his shoulders and then plants a blackout worthy kick to Trini’s gut for added measure.

Trini instantly doubles over, clutching her stomach with both hands as she fights the overwhelming urge to pass out.

 “Nice chatting with you, Yellow. I’ll see you around.”

With that, Tommy turns around and makes his way back out of the alley way, leaving Trini completely and utterly alone.

[lokgifsandmusings]

Definitive Ranking of Book 4 Episodes, #2/13

2. 4x13 The Last Stand

Kuvira tears off her arm. Mako makes a Heroic Sacrifice and no one will heal him. Korra and Kuvira fight, until Korra freakin’ bends pure energy, rips apart the city, and demonstrates her growth in one quick spirit world conversation. Hasook fulfills his clarinetist destiny. We get the most ambiguous ending everrrrr.

You know, after going back through this whole season, I’m realizing that there were a lot of flaws with Book 4. A lot. It’s  not to the point where I feel this episode ranking as second highest is unearned, but it is making really wonder about “what would this have looked like had Bryke been given more time?”

The thing is, with this episode, the emotional beats are nearly perfect for Korra. And that’s really what matters, given that the show is...well...the legend of *her*. Even for most other characters, this conclusion was (dare I say it?) dramatically satisfying. Thematically satisfying, too.

But at the same time, what didn’t work is only more and more glaring with each revisit, and especially after thinking through it.

Kuvira is probably the hardest character to reconcile, because she’s the primary antagonist, and yet up until Korra dropped the “oh you’re an orphan” truth-bomb that explained ~~all~~ of Kuvira’s actions, there was every indication that her guiding motivation was much more about her perceived rejection by Suyin, or a desperation to prove her wrong, or a mentor’s fall from grace when an inherent hypocrisy was shown...

Honestly, from just the perspective of Kuvira’s arc, dismissing everything as “you were sad about your parents (who you never talked about once) leaving you with the creepy thought-policing matriarch and you didn’t want to ditch the EK in the same way” is almost insulting. Kuvira like...made compelling points in the Suyin-filtered flashback about why Su should accept Raiko and Tenzin’s offer, and it seemed to be coming from a place of pure pragmatism, not compensation for abandonment or a way of gaining control. Actually, she framed it about sharing prosperity:

Kuvira: Suyin, I know this isn't my place, but I think you should do this. Zaofu has always been a beacon of modern progress, and now you can share that with everyone.

Suyin: What would you have me do? March into Ba Sing Se with an army? We'd be seen as conquerors and greeted with nothing but war.

Kuvira: There are already wars. The Earth Queen nearly destroyed our nation. This is our opportunity to change things.

Also, fun fact: Suyin didn’t even tell Korra that Kuvira was an orphan; she barely even implied it.

Korra: How did things get so bad between you and Kuvira? I thought she was your protégé.

Suyin: She was more than that. She was like a daughter to me. I took her in when she was eight years old and nourished her talents. Kuvira was smart, a natural leader, and quickly rose through the ranks. I saw myself in her.

Like, this could have meant anything. Maybe she took her into her School of Metalbending Dancing and Narcissism. Maybe this is a nitpick, but it just amuses me if there was some version of this scene where Korra is like “it must have been so hard being an orphan,” and Kuvira goes, “...wtf my parents are FINE.”

Back the main point here, the difficulty in parsing out Kuvira’s guiding motivations and meaning of her own arc is not made better by the fact that her political position and military campaign were incredibly poorly defined. This is nothing new for Bryke, but with regard to this episode specifically, there’s still the question of why Kuvira was even interested in reclaiming UR land when she was supposedly just a technocrat that opposed the Earth Queen’s unjust rule, and had spent a painstaking amount of time laying down tracks to connect the two nations in what seemed like a cooperative measure and to truly bring the EK up to speed with the rest of the world. Was storming Republic City always her plan? Would she have been able to without the super laser that she didn’t know was being invented (Varrick was just looking for clean energy, remember)? After successfully taking Republic City, was she going to lock up every citizen there not of EK origin?

The general idea is that she was supposed to be earnestly committed to restoring stability in the Earth Kingdom, while also pushing forth innovation, and that when Korra pointed out how horrible and out-of-balance she was, it was a comeuppance and reality slap. I guess in this respect, the broader strokes make sense, but then there was so much that seemed so personally motivated, like...everything to do with Zaofu (she even made a point of saying “when I return I’ll be greeted with open arms), and then wrecking all of Republic City.

Even ignoring motivations, there’s logistics, because Kuvira’s disappearing army (and the disappearing United Forces) was still very much evident here, especially since mecha tank officers came clomping back into view at the end, and she needed to instruct them to stand-down. It kind of makes me giggle to think that Varrick powered down these suits, and the morons just lay on the ground helplessly until they were up and running again. But there were also all those ground troops and shit, so...

Oh yeah, and Raiko formally surrendered. There should have been an entire platoon sent to the island as soon as Kuvira realized Baatar had been captured while traveling there.

None of this is a specific issue to “The Last Stand,” but it does make the resolution feel a little...convenient. As though all these things were just dismissed and swept under the rug. This is best exemplified in Suyin’s line as a response to Kuvira’s apology, where she goes, “you’re going to answer for everything you’ve done!” Like, that didn’t even follow what Kuvira had said! Though there’s also a chance that this was a place-holder line they never bothered to change (or ran out of time to change). It’s not the only one with this vibe.

At the end of the day, Kuvira worked fine for Korra. But the way she had been scripted herself, there was really no telling how she’d react to a given situation until after the fact. I could have seen her, stirring from the rubble, having the same exact spirit world conversation with Korra, rather than running away to find Chekhov’s very literal gun. She trashed an entire fucking city and nearly died already just with Mega Maid’s explosion, after all.

Most of the other challenges of this episode have to do with the wrap party, because it was pretty clear that Bryke had a case of “we have X minutes to conclude all of this.” Enter bizarre conversation after bizarre conversation.

It’s not exactly a secret that I’m currently writing on a fic that tries to make sense of “why the hell does this wedding feel as though it is simultaneously the day after the fight, and two months down the road?” Word of God is that the wedding is 2 weeks later, which may or may not have been made up by Mike on the spot. But it’s just all so wonky. Korra is acting as though she hasn’t talked to anyone, Wu and Mako certainly haven’t seen each other since the evacuation, Tenzin only just talked to Raiko, and yet Zhurrick planned an entire wedding and somehow world leaders were able to travel to the still utterly destroyed city to enjoy it.

It’s WONKY, I’m telling you. The worst case offender?

This is a terrible fucking idea. I get that it’s a Y7 American show and we have to be pro ~~democracy~~ as a general concept, but the logistics behind it make no sense. I suppose in the context of Wu’s arc, him stepping aside because he doesn’t feel qualified is fitting. Granted, I thought the whole “you were calm during the evacuation and also badger moles like you” stuff was to show how he does have leadership potential, so long as he plays to his strengths and allows those more informed than him to take the lead on other matters. But I suppose we can say it was part of a bigger picture: Wu learning to be less of an entitled asshole. He pushed himself and stepped up when the world needed him to, but in the end “sometimes a good evacuation is its own reward.” Nice.

Now go and create a horrible panic by tossing the EK’s political and legal structures out the window!

The Mako/Korra conversation was a very nice endcap to Mako’s season-long arc, and the series long relationship between these two characters. They were incompatible as romantic partners, but Mako found meaning in their platonic friendship, looking to Korra as inspiration to be more selfless. It’s just nice. And it’s nice to see exes being nice and not jealous or still hurt or pining or whatnot. Nice.

That said, Wu’s role in Mako’s arc is a headscratcher. Mako definitely had an influence on him, but the other way around...I’ve got nothin’. Unless we consider Wuko a possibility, because IT IS THERE, DAMNIT. Except, I really don’t think Bryke meant for it to be there. Which means that Mako played a bit more of a supporting role for Wu than the other way around. Wu had diddly squat to do with Mako feeling inspired and self-sacrificial...that was a decision Mako reached inside Mega Maid as a result of watching a clip show about his relationship with Korra.

And yeah, let’s actually talk about that moment, because it was probably the second most emotional point of the episode. For those who don’t know, it’s also the point where I realized, at 5:50 in the morning, that I was going to start bawling in the middle of Planet Fitness if I stayed, so I cut that short and went home to finish out the episode.

It was touching, even if Bolin’s “This isn't the time to prove how awesome you are. I already know how awesome you are... you're awesome.” lines were incredibly odd. However... Looking back, this was probably the dumbest thing Mako could have done in this moment.

The weapon was disabled (he knew Su and Lin were taking care of that), and Korra was in the “head” having a fight to the death. There was no pressing need to power down Mega Maid at that point (Kuvira initiated lockdown as soon as they got in, actually), and the only thing he knew was that he could probably get it to explode. With everyone still inside. All things considered, how Mako didn’t just kill everyone inside the tank is beyond me. How Mako didn’t die is equally beyond me, cause dude got shot squarely in the chest. I mean yes, Bolin came back for him (where did he even dump the other bodies? The legs?), but Mako has a heart and stuff.

I don’t want to detract from the message of “Mako is an incredibly selfless hero,” but the logistics get in the way. It’s like Bryke wanted him to have this moment, but they didn’t take the time to figure out a realistic way it could unfold, so it just happened. Which is jarring, especially since this immediately followed Hiroshi’s sacrifice from the previous episode. Snaps for Mako, but 10 points from Brykendor for the contrivance.

Also as a side note: poor Bolin, this episode. I mean yes, he’s in a good place, and he got to marry Zhurrick (I can confirm: officiating a wedding is mad fun), but the dude didn’t even get a Conversation of Significance with anyone. Needless to say I’m going to be fixing that with my final chapter...

Let’s just round out the Krew then and discuss Asami. And I 👏👏don’t👏👏fucking👏👏know👏👏 what to do with her.  

I mean, you know what Asami means to me as a character at this point. And Korrasami. But going back through and watching this season, there’s a few things that are blindingly clear.

1. The scripting is bizarre. Not just for Asami—across the board. There are lines that feel outright unedited. For instance:

“When the queen fell, and everyone was asking you to help keep the Earth Kingdom from falling apart, all you wanted to do was hide in Zaofu, and let others deal with the consequences.”

It’s not as though lines like that don’t work, but it’s the kind of thing where if that were in fic I was beta-reading, I’d highlight “fell” and “falling” so the author would know to take out one of the repetitive phrases.

For characters with a lot of lines, the lack of polish can be overlooked, for the most part. For Asami, who had an incredibly limited screen presence during Book 4, things stick out.

2. Seychelle Gabriel’s voice acting was...different. It wasn’t bad, but some of her lines had a certain stilted quality to them. I’ve actually noticed that with just about every character in Book 4 that wasn’t Varrick or Bolin (that’s just John Michael Higgins and PJ Byrne falling back on their comedic chops), with a big exception in Korra. I sort of think Janet Varney didn’t settle into a consistent voice for her *until* Book 4, but that’s a whole other story, and yes, deeply subjective.

The best example I can point to for Gabriel is the way she delivers, “Thank you. I'm just glad I was able to forgive him.” It just had this awkwardness about it, and a good thing too, since I’m 95% certain that’s what spawned @progmanx’s entire fic, as well as my own views on her characterization (oh hey, we’re of one mind with that).

3. There really could have been more to Korrasami. Even with Russian TV restrictions. But I already talked about in my “Reunion” piece, so I won’t rehash here.

4. Asami’s scripting was pure *convenience*. I touch on it here for “Enemy at the Gates” and here for “Day of Colossus.” But it’s not really hard to recap.

Asami needs to open the lines of communication to her dad, so she does, and it is wonderfully, realistically hard on her. Then in a ridiculous scene, she spots a happy father and daughter, and decides she wants to work to forgive the man who tried to fucking kill her. We can assume she’s feeling conflicted about it because she snaps at Korra over it, but really, we have to just assume, because this shit is never talked about on-screen. Then Hiroshi pops in to save the day with his oddly specific technical knowledge of stuff he wasn’t working on. Then Asami tells him that she loves him before they go into a flying mecha suit to battle potentially to the death, and then Hiroshi dies.

And yes, I’ve talked a lot about what an internal character Asami is, so it would have just been odd if she suddenly started expositing on why she was feeling the way she did, but at the same time... When *did* she decide to forgive him? Was it just because he was willing to save the city? Does she even know if he’s changed his opinion of benders, or if he just regrets not having her in her life? Does she regret not seeing him sooner? Did she ever READ THOSE DAMN LETTERS?

So for her to sit her ass down next to Korra and say that she’s super sad but glad she forgave him... Well yeah, of course she’s sad. But she’d probably also be confused and conflicted and angry and guilty and a million other things just by how inherently fucked up this situation is. The last time she and her dad were in a mecha suit at the same time, he TRIED TO KILL HER. This isn’t hyperbole. He also saved the city from being destroyed *this time*, despite being the man who bombed it before. You see what I’m saying???

I think this is coming at a bad time, because I am working over and beyond to make sense of Asami’s headspace during this specific point in the story right now with ‘Half the Pieces’. I even gave her and Hiroshi another pai sho match so they could talk this shit over, and am kind of getting at the idea of her forgiving him as more of like, she really wants to have forgiven him and to have that closure after three years of incredible pain relating to him. But for what we got on our screens, it feels rushed, there’s just no other way around it. Rushed and simplified.

The most frustrating thing about Asami’s character is her wasted potential—the way they could have been using her as a foil to Korra so much sooner, the way her unique position as an industrialist went largely untouched, the way there is so much packed into her and given a little space, she will come and wallop you with a bag of feels (“you tainted our past and destroyed our future together”). 

Yes, she’s in a support role, and I’m not advocating her being foregrounded over anyone else on the Krew, and certainly not over Tenzin. But keep in mind, this was the season that gave a very complete and detailed arc to Varrick and Wu, while also pushing Kuvira & the Beifong Family Drama as the main tension. So excuse me for just a little annoyance with what could have been.

What *was* for Asami here was...fine. It’s not like I can’t remember what her conversation with Korra felt like the first time, or how could it felt that for once in her craptastic life, she was getting to be happy for a little. And for Korra too, realizing she had been disconnected for too long, realizing through her letters and the distance that she was in love, realizing she can take time for herself—it just all made for a beautiful moment, even if I do think that it felt a tad clipped. Given how much ground Bryke needed to cover here, it’s not shocking.

As a last note before I get to Korra and begin explaining why this episode is #2, I want to briefly touch on Tenzin. He was simply not a major player in this season, and I guess that’s fine. His relationship to Korra was in focus for Book 2, with her becoming *her own Avatar* at the end, and then his relationship to his daughter and the Air Nation at large was Book 3. I don’t feel like anything was incomplete with Tenzin here on a larger scale, though it was a notable decision. I wonder if Book 4 had been given another pass, would there have been a more imaginative way to utilize his character?

I think that may have detracted from the impact of his final conversation with Korra, too. Or maybe that’s why it almost felt like it had bizarrely romantic undertones for a second, because it was hard to have a handle on where *they* were at with how they related to each other. Also he said the phrase “big bumpy ride” so...

And that conversation was the most, “let’s wrap up this Y7 show yup yup” that fell victim to extremely unfortunate wording. The idea was to show that Korra had found meaning in what she had been through, harkening back to Katara’s remark that Aang “chose to find meaning in his suffering and eventually found peace.” What Katara did not say was that Aang NEEDED TO EXPERIENCE THE GENOCIDE TO FIND PEACE. Because who the hell would say something like that.

There are negative implications of Korra saying she “needed” to suffer to be more compassionate, especially since compassion was never a department she was lacking in before. However, as a result of what she went through her approaches to situations did change, and her “go-to” mode of operation, altered. We saw her trying to fight against the “old me” in Zaofu, and that was simply ineffective. In this final chapter, we saw her take action as she needed to, only to finally talk the antagonist down in the end. It wasn’t an increase in compassion, but it was a result of her empathizing over the fear of being vulnerable—a fear we’ve seen Korra struggle with since the start.

“I may not have been an orphan, but believe me, I understand what it feels like to be afraid. [Sits down so she is at eye level with Kuvira.] After I was poisoned, I would have done anything to feel in control.”

Look, there’s a wonderful narrative here, and it just...fell over itself on the way to our screens, and that’s unfortunate. Because it would have required so little to fix.

If you’ll allow myself and @progmanx to be hubristic here, we actually did rewrite this for my upcoming chapter (not finalized yet, but it will be something along these lines):

“I know I was in a pretty dark place after I was poisoned; all I wanted to do was feel like myself again. And I think it took seeing Kuvira being so angry and scared of letting everyone down, just like I used to be, for me to finally realize what I already knew: I can never just go back and to being that person again, and I don’t want to be. I’ve seen now what fear can do and what it can drive people to...what it drove me to do, even if it didn’t hurt as many people. That’s a part of me, and there’s no undoing it. I don’t think I want to undo it, either. Your mom told me that Aang found meaning in his suffering. I guess if I’ve found mine, that’s it. We’re all afraid sometimes, but that doesn’t make us weak. In fact, it’s what makes us stronger.”

It’s almost as if I like A Song of Ice and Fire, or something.

Would a more diverse writers’ room have resulted in a different end line? Who can say. But this at least demonstrates why a diversity of voices and a willingness to think through the implications (something Bryke aren’t incapable of) is helpful.

If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll notice that #1 on this list is going to be “Korra Alone.” So I’m going to save fully gushing about Korra’s healing arc there. 

But what I will say is that “The Last Stand” brought the series to a thematically apt, and rather uplifting conclusion. The season was about balance, but you could just as easily say that the series was too. This also tapped into “light in the dark,” only Book 4 took the time to explore that darkness rather than blow by it.

Seeing Korra so...at peace, was truly remarkable. We’ve seen her so insecure at many points in the series, and it really was just heartening to watch her be so decisive, so proactive, and also so *effective*, even if that meant switching approaches on the fly or, idk, leaping in front of a giant cannon and ripping open a hole in the universe and by doing so being so impressive that there was an instantly humbling effect on the megalomaniacal dictator to the point where Korra was able to talk her down with words alone.

It kind of makes me laugh, thinking of some of the Discourse™ as the finale ended: that Korra was “neutered” or “tamed.” Yeah those are great adjectives to attach to someone who threw themselves in front of a firing spirit cannon on an instinct. What we saw is a deeply matured and strategic Korra.

Remember, she was the over-eager hero who was told that the world didn’t need her. Her narrative was never going to be “I saved the day therefore I am,” but rather “Who am I when I’m not saving the day, and does that matter?”

Yes.

As for Korra, the world’s most powerful bender/spiritual leader of the masses/ with her ancient wisdom and sheltered upbringing ending up with the wealthy nonbending driver of modern innovation from the world’s biggest metropolis, well... that’s just the perfect endcap to the all-subtle balance theme. Nice.

Edit: 4/11/2017:

This entire piece wound up a little more focused on negatives than I wanted, so please read this reblog commentary for clarification/a few more notes on what was really great here.

#13: 4x08 “Remembrances”

#12: 4x11 “Kuvira’s Gambit”

#11: 4x09 “Beyond the Wilds”

#10: 4x07 “Reunion”

#9: 4x06 The “Battle of Zaofu”

#8. 4x12 “Day of Colossus”

#7 4x01 “After All These Years”

#6 4x03 “The Coronation”

#5 4x04 “The Calling”

#4 4x05 “Enemy at the Gates”

#3 4x10 “Operation Beifong”

Book 2 ranking/essays found here

[colonel-crapshot]

ISLAND Episode Two

Crunchyroll is determined to make me look at Maihime's cousin's ass 

Friend:  [Aliens.jpg] Fanservice

I mean, there are worse asses to stare at in this life. But there is more to it than just the booty.

Normally I'd say something demeaning about myself but I can't have an opinion of my own ass since I can't look at very well and even if I could it would probably be a resounding "Meh"

AH AT LAST WE PAN UPWARDS FROM THE BOOTY

Friend: My eyes are up here

Funny thing is we are facing her back and even when we get some of her face her eyes aren't in sight

Also, she's apparently a fucking vampire

A disease? You mean VAMPIRISM?!

"Soot blight syndrome" aight. I'll bite, THE FUCK ARE Y'ALL SMOKING HERE THAT THE SOOT MAKES VAMPIRISM?!

Aight lady you're fast balling a lot of things at us. And no, we're not going to contract vampirism to keep you company as a "Prince of the night"

Well that's an opener. Granted it follows neatly on from last episode so I can't complain

OH LOOK. A FLIER FOR THE MAID JOB. I WONDER WHAT SHE'S DOING AFTER SCHOOL TODAY

... you know thinking on it. I might be able to understand a slightly more territorial policy like the one Mayor Butthurt propogates if they have cases of FUCKING VAMPIRISM on the titular Island

OH COME ON SETSUNA. THIS IS LAUNDRY FOR A HOUSE OWNED BY A WOMAN (or at least with one woman known to be present) KNICKERS WERE ALWAYS GOING TO BE PART OF THE THINGS TO HANG ON THE LINE

It's not like you went into your own undergarments drawer and procured them

GROW UP

You were mopping anyways. A spill isn't the worst thing to happen

Half the usual and he's got at least one 10,000 yen bill present

I mean, failing all else they are making sure their maids get to fucking live off of working for them

Sweet christ they were a unified chorus

You should go to the shrine library to get them checked for evil spirits

Well no-one can say he isn't putting his back into it. Completed the days work AND it's still very sunny outside

Must be like early afternoon

Maybe ask your Vampire princess once she's roused from her slumber with a fresh bag of AB negative

Odd that the library would be closed at the end of a school day. You'd have thought that they'd have someone at least holding the fort for the inevitable bout of students who'd want to get some studying done

Granted I appreciate Setsuna trying to seek the information elsewhere. Though I do wonder if he'd even recognise the kanji for Soot Blight Syndrome if he just read it in the library and might misread it and be left scratching his head

The library on the Island might well have the resources to research their island specific vampirism

Oh shit an Oonusa. I’ve no idea what one DOES with an Oonusa. But dat be it

... Aight child. We need to have a talk about the abuse of the Gods powers for assassination attempts

"Let's go to my honey zone in the library." Assassination doesn't work so well when I know what you're up to you know?

Wonder what Mayor Butthurt's game is adopting a sodding shrine maiden

Granted this COULD be yet further hammering in the idea that this guy is a douche nozzle. But I'd like to think better of this. I've seen Visual novels with asshole characters actually having reasonable motives for acting in such dickish ways

Good grief. Who'd go to burn down a freaking shrine of all places?!

I suppose the Three Families in Urashima are something of the driving force behind the Barbatossian "NO! OUTSIDERS! EVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" which probably would make people a little miffed at them

OH BOY. STORY TIME

Okay. That's a nice dodge of the pendulum of bullshit. Well done Sara

I think Loli Maiden’s name is Sara anyways

OH BOY. INCEST LORE

Friend: WHA

THE ISLAND HAS INCEST LORE

Friend: https://i.imgur.com/GleCwqI.mp4

JESUS. I mean... to some degree I understand. BUT CURSING MONSTROSITY UPON THEM?!

Friend:  Hits red button and runs away

This is a long ago thing

They're not trying to champion it. But still, I respect the nope

Uh huh... interesting lore

Kinda counter to our boys instructions that "Setsuna must die"

Friend:  Oh I know you'd be going into convulsions if they had championed it. My nope comes from that sort of lore typically being used as edgy drama-bait rather than legitimate storytelling

Luckily this is lore and they were rather swift to go over it and the repercussions of it, or more so the repercussions of both it and jealous women

Friend:  Hand still hovering over the red button

The thrust of the lore is the idea that since Rinne topped herself the Shrine Maiden who cursed her said "Yo. She'll be reborn later in time, and if y'all can re-unite I'll undo the curse." Which seems to be good since it won't be incest at that point and they can let their love go about itself

RATHER than "INCEST" and hoping that we all press 800 nope buttons stacked atop one another and fire ourselves into an alternate dimension where we can keep watching it

That's convenient. I mean granted the library on the Island probably WOULD have books about their local vampirism disease

"I'm ready, so lets do this." Oh, you've finally finished setting up your honey trap? 

I don't have the heart to tell her that she REALLY should do this when her hopeful victim isn't present and aware

Oooh. Are we getting actual plot or is our Shrine Maiden ACTUALLY more cunning than an upturned cup of milk

"The reason why you exist." I could have given you that reason ages ago with Sex Ed 101

Tab A into Slot B, jostle as necessary until goop. Wait 9 months and hopefully a sentient potato falls out of Slot B

BECAUSE SHE HAS READ THE SCRIPT SETSUNA

OH SHIT SHE MIGHT HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN THAT CUNNING

That was your plot armour reacting to potential plot ending events

You're being awful rude, Setsuna. 

You know there can be more than one maid for a house. Whilst it may not necessarily NEED more than one maid since Setsuna pretty handily did everything before the sun was even close to setting

Oh look. Vampire princess

She set out incense when she was setting up a honey trap to murder me

Get with the program Rinne

Setsuna, you can't drag people in for an interview. Even if they're leaving in a huff

LOSING MEMORIES AND CAVING TO YOUR PARENTS BULLSHIT ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS! I CAN MAKE MORE MEMORIES. IF YOU GIVE IN TO YOUR PARENTS ISN'T THAT THE END OF YOUR FREEDOM?!

D'aw, that's nice Setsuna. You haven't put your best foot forward about it though

... GOD FUCKING DAMNIT SETSUNA.

At least you're reflecting upon your acted self importance

That's not a bad way of looking at it Rinne

"It's destiny." There's been a lot of that talk. I wonder if we're going to get a story I like where Destiny gets fucked and Setsuna forges himself a relationship of his own choosing. Or if Destiny in this is actually benign and just wants to help get lovers get into a healthy romance rather than one made of nope

"You'll remember soon enough." I thought you didn't have much in the way of memories from before you hurtled counter to time either?

Ah plot summer break

The ultimate hand wave to highschoolers gallivanting about at all hours

Why must you push Karen's buttons Setsuna?

I mean. YEAH, I DID. But 1,000,000 YEN?!... granted Setsuna did get a hefty paycheck even at half of the rate he would normally get it seemed

Yeah. I'd imagine your mom wouldn't take kindly to Mayor Butthurt's bullshit. Especially if she's anything like the basis for some of your personality

It may well have been 5 years ago honey but you don't sound exactly over it

He's been on Urashima for like 3 days Karen, how do you expect him to know the best places to be

I'm not even sure how far 1,000,000 yen will GET you. Assuming that you can even convince someone with a boat to take you there

HEY I WAS FUCKIN' RIGHT. HE COULDN'T READ IT ON HIS OWN

Still does put the idea of this vampirism and its things into check. Do wonder though why Rinne doesn't take the anti-vamp meds

"You went on a secret date with Karen?" If by "secret date" you mean doing the sodding shopping, then yes, secret date

Christ, you sound almost spurned for someone who was TRYING TO MURDER ME YESTERDAY

Ooooh. Cutting right to the thick of it. I like you Setsuna

CALLED IT

I'm unsure about how... wait. I think I get it. They were originally persecuted for cutting them off from the mainland and they put in those ideas to help assuage the peoples rightful ire

Aight I re-read it and it lost me again

Still I can see Karen's idea that Rinne contracting it is just an excuse. But by the same token IT'S FUCKING VAMPIRISM. YOU DON'T WANT THAT SHIT SPREADING

But by the same token. HOW HAVEN'T THEY DIALED UP THE MAINLAND AND ASKED FOR MEDICAL ASSISTANCE?!

"To protect the island" I can see how cutting themselves off protects the mainland. But not the island

Setsuna, come back to earth with us. YOU CAME FROM THE FUTURE! YOU TOOK THE NAME SETSUNA SINCE IT'S ALL YOU REMEMBERED THE REST WAS ALMOST WHIMSY

I mean... maybe? But on a different note, like 90% of that was twisty turvy nonsense

I'm gonna go back and listen again

Nope. Still don't get it

SHE ISN'T A VAMPIRE

Aight, that makes sense

D'aw that's sweet that she wants Setsuna to save Rinne

Nice. We're gently kicking the "Prophecied couple" routine in the head early

Less nice, Setsuna that's not a great way to approach it

... I mean granted I'D probably do it that way, But still, not good. I mean heck, Rinne may well have something more going on rather than just thinking "I'm the Rinne reincarnation."

Ooof! That looks like it hurt

Oh good. Mind palace. Not actual speech

Alrighty. He's handling this better than in his mind palace

You're awful hooked on this idea of Destiny, Rinne

... THAT'S NOT HOW THIS WORKS LADY! LETTING THINGS REMAIN AS THEY ARE WON'T KEEP SETSUNA AS "YOUR" SETSUNA

Good thing is. She's aware that she ISN'T actually a vampire. Bad thing is: She thinks that if things remain as is then everything is fine

Aight, this is proving interesting

Even if I don't get their idea of Island prosperity

Link: ISLAND Episode 2