#There are probably disgusting gramatical errors but fuck it

[carlosjillgivemelife]

First time he...

So naughty headcanon. Carlos finally goes down on Jill, because the man loves her. Loved her since she drove off the fucking parking garage and into Nemesis. Anyways, it’s long. Tell me what you think--

So the first time that Carlos does go down on Jill, it’s emotional. Not for him in the sense, I mean he enjoys what he’s able to do for Jill and wants her to feel amazing!! More so for Jill. Jill isn’t one to have one night stands, she’s not one to hop into relationships easily. She’s a woman who is a military veteran, she’s former RPD, and member of S.T.A.R.S. All of that leaves her with a lot of emotional scars, and mental trauma from what she’s lived through and seen. She’s also very self reliant and independent. So when it comes to something like oral sex being performed on her, she’s resistant to the idea. She’s been through Hell and back, and is Supercop! As much as she is incredibly brave, and tough; these things never come without consequences. So, she’s self-conscious. 

Getting her to confess her attraction and feelings to Carlos was one thing! Letting him travel down her body with slow kisses, while making sure she is okay is a total different creature! 

(Small moment of appreciating our boy Carlos, and respecting Jill’s obvious lack of consent, and when she gives him consent. He is beautiful and I’ll fight Nemesis myself for him to be happy with Jill.)

Back on topic. When Jill finally lets Carlos go down on her, it’s when they are dating. Sex has been great, sure. But, Carlos is a smart man and he knows that she still has her guard up. She’s waiting for the world to implode, and for everything to come crashing down around them. He approaches that he’d like to satisfy her gently. He has seen it in her blue eyes how quickly she can shut herself down to the ideas of pleasure, and when she is not totally in control. It’s something that frightens her, and also means she’s vulnerable to someone else. Which let’s face it- Jill hates being vulnerable and feeling like she can’t immediately protect herself. It’s when it’s at night, and they are cuddled in bed that he asks her. He wants her to be when she’s most relaxed, and less likely to try and find a reason to deny herself anything that is meant to give her that pleasure. She deserves to feel beautiful, and to know he thinks she’s beautiful even if she doesn’t believe that she is worthy. Despite the fact she’s saved him, and she was the one to come crashing into his life (literally!) She deserves everything, and he wants to give her that. 

Our boy Carlos has planned this out! When she starts to say no, and become self-conscious to the whole idea he assures her. “Jill. It’s us. It’s only us. You can trust me. You tell me to stop, and I’ll stop,” He may or may not have used those big honey-ember colored eyes on her. 

She finally agrees to it, repeating his words, “You’ll stop if I tell you to stop?” There is fear in her words. It’s not over the fact that he’ll not stop, but there’s more to this than just the simple act of oral sex and pleasure. This is trust. This is allowing for him to do something for her with nothing expected in return. He simply wants for her to feel good, to disarm her thoughts of having to always keep herself guarded and protected. It’s a sense of vulnerability and allowing that to happen! 

He’s slow, he starts with kissing her. It’s sweet and gentle, granted he’s damn near shaking with anticipation and excitement. It’s a kiss that is slow, where he feels her sigh, and muscles relax beneath him. When he finally moves away from her lips, he’s along her jaw, her neck. He’s touching her body gently. Over each scar his fingertips travel, each hard corded muscle she’s earned through training. There is absolutely no rush in what he’s doing. Carlos KNOWS if he dares to go faster than what she anticipates, this will be last chance he gets to show her how absolutely much he loves her. He has an almost laziness when he removes her shirt, he doesn’t rip it off her as fast as he can. He helps to take it off her like it truly is no big deal, it’s just one of his shirts, nothing to be alarmed about seeing her naked skin and breasts. She’s beautiful, even when she is already ramping up to become defensive, and hide herself. 

He assures her with nuzzling her breast, rubbing his cheek and face along her skin that it’s okay. “Breathe. It’s just us. Dogs are asleep, neighborhood is safe, no one is coming. You and me. There you go,” he’s really calm, and he only goes further when he feels her release a shaking breath, fully. When she does, he’s gentle along her nipples. Fingertips brushing back and forth slow stimulation, again nothing rushed. He watches how she reacts to that alone; deep breaths adjusting against him, soft pink flush spreading across her chest, her face, and the rest of the body. When he sees that she’s responding without resistance to that, or showing that she’s not afraid he then gentle uses his tongue and lips along her nipples. 

Languid. Slow. He has all the time in the world, he wants her to be relaxed and ready. He doesn’t move from one breast till he feels her arching up against him, and feels the pressure of her breast being pushed towards his mouth. That’s when he slowly crawls over to the next one. Jill is ticklish, and fuck she hates it. But, he does like to watch the faint squirm when his dark prickly beard rubs against her skin, and hears her protesting moan. 

“That tickles...” she’s breathy, but she’s not pushing him off and she’s responding positively. 

Carlos always grins when he hears this. She knows. He finds it endearing when she reacts in such a way. He doesn’t continue it, he doesn’t need to irritate her, he simply wants her to enjoy it. Onto the next nipple he goes. When he’s through with that nipple, he earns a sighed moan. She’s not fully allowing herself to experience all the pleasures that he wants for her to have. But! He earned a moan, even though it was a sigh and not fully released as she’s trying to keep control over herself; it was something. 

Carlos moves down along her belly, it’s with soft kisses, never anything sloppy and wet. He’s not a dog, he’s not going to lap at her like some mongrel. She’s delicious, and beautiful! He’s going to enjoy himself like this is the last feast he shall ever have. When he is around her hips, he doesn’t remove her panties immediately. He’s waiting for the invitation, for her willingness of lifting her hips up to him. So, for the moment he simply spends time rubbing at her thighs, at her hips, running his fingers delicately up from her knees to the point of her pelvis. He’s watching her legs, and the way her belly rises and falls with each breath. Each breath she takes is a little deeper, little more ragged and she’s starting to squirm a bit impatiently. It’s good though; her face is flushed and eyes are becoming intoxicated with vulnerable pleasure. So again he goes, up and down from her knees to her hips, slowly inching his way along to her inner thigh. Even then along that soft flesh he doesn’t give her what she’s desperately wanting. This is not simply fucking, this is not having routine sex. This is so much more for him, this is so much more for her. She’s starting to show reluctant release of control, and he’s relishing in it! 

Oh Carlos, you’re hopeless! Because he really does make sure to drive her senses wild! Up along from mid thigh, to almost touching where she’s wet and ready for him. Building that anticipation, building that desire to be further touched, and building that irritation that he doesn’t quite give her what she wants. It’s delectable! It’s evil! God she’s so beautiful to him when he watches how she takes a breath, and is squirming under him. Good! She’s showing further willingness and he keeps going. He keeps teasing, he keeps building that anticipation that mounts higher and higher. Up and down again, along her hips he follows and repeats the slow circle, then to the next thigh that he had been ignoring.

Jill’s starting to find her mind a mess of emotions. She’s impatient, she’s enjoying herself, she’s pissed, oh God don’t stop, get to the point- it’s a cocktail mixture of everything building up in her mind and she can’t pick which one to stick with. She’s moaning a little easier now, little fuller and deeper. She’s almost bashful with opening her eyes, and turning her gaze down onto him. It’s that sense of vulnerability and allowing herself to trust his intentions and not find her broken. It’s allowing herself to be in that moment, and feel everything that is happening in that moment. Not the next moment, not the moment before that. Just at the present moment when it’s simply her and him. There’s something about that which truly disarms her, and is almost terrifying. She’s not in control of her body’s response, and that pisses her off! Maybe it’s the way he looks up at her, his cheek resting lazily along her thigh, eyes drunkenly in love and full of fiery desire. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t want him to stop, and that’s equally as scary. 

And again goes his fingers, guiding and brushing up along her inner thigh higher this time... but not quite the sweet spot! Jill is writhing and twitching. She’s moving her hips, trying to physically and non-verbally demand him to touch her. He won’t. He’s not going to yet, though he knows if he did, he’d find out how wet she is and yearning for him. That alone is so powerful and arousing for him. That he can cause this, that he makes her want him and only him. That she’s gifted him this moment and time where he can express his love on her, and damnit! This is the perfect time to take all the sweet ass time in the world. Finally though he does relent, and he brushes his fingers up along her. She’s wet through her panties, and she’s gasping and she mewls in delight. Fuck- that’s hot! He doesn’t take her panties off yet, nah, friction and that building again of intimate anticipation. He’s watching her, waiting for her to lift her hips and to hear a moan that tells him to please take off those soaked panties! 

Jill’s still fighting for mental control over herself. Never has she found herself to feel this good, not till she met and has been with Carlos. He’s pressing into her, fingers guiding over the texture of cotton panties, and always not quite there. She wants this to be over with, experience that high, then roll away and allow herself to feel guilty that she could enjoy herself so fully. But no, he won’t let her. Again there is the pressure of his index finger and middle finger, following up along her, pressing in at her clit and then moving away. Slow, and leisurely. God damnit! She’s so impatient, and she wants more. He won’t give it to her, yet. There’s something about feeling his breath hot across the inside of her thighs, and the scratching of his dark beard that almost undoes her. He’s so close, and she is so vulnerable and feels as if she’s on fire! So many damn emotions, so many thoughts that she finds them all muddled. She has her eyes closed, she can’t bear to open her eyes and look down at him. What’s more irritating for her, she feels her lashes are wet with tears. I promise you this! She’s not going to shed a god damn tear... so she keeps those eyes closed- for now! But when she feels him again blowing air gently along her thighs, and over where his fingers had been rubbing- she finally lifts up her hips. 

Carlos has to push her hands away from her panties; he wants to be the one to unwrap his present, to show himself what he’s been waiting for. He sits back on his knees and helps to slide her panties over her leg, and even helps guiding her feet through. She’s naked before him, flushed, and squirming. Beautiful. Perfect. She’s made for him, and fuck he couldn’t be any harder than he already is. He’s still in his sweats. He doesn’t sleep in a shirt since usually irritates him and at some point in the night he’d just end up taking it off. But there’s something primal, and raw with her being naked and allowing him to view her in a soft light. He sees her not as a survivor, broken, or a fighter. He sees only Her. All her flaws. All her perfections. He’s hungry. 

When I said earlier that he was shaking with excitement, Carlos is damn near an earthquake at this point! He’s so fucking excited, he’s so hard, he wants her to scream his name and pull his hair! But, he’s slow with his approach when he does begin to shoulder his way between her thighs. Correction he doesn’t “shoulder” himself between her thighs. He settles himself comfortably between, and drapes her calves over his broad shoulders. He’s watching her again, waiting for her to shut this shit down! He rubs the outside of her thighs, gently. 

“Is this okay?” He wants to make sure she’s comfortable. There’s something about it though that sets fire to his soul when he hears her say yes. It’s not yeah, it’s not sure- it’s yes! 

When he watches her laying back a little more heavily into the pillows, her head rolling back and forth and her body arching beneath him it does something to him. He wants her to feel this constantly. He wants her to know how he will think on this moment forever. She’s quivering, and her eyes are shut. She’s grasping onto the fitted sheet beneath her, and her legs are flexing against his shoulders. He’s doing this to her, and god damn, this was what he was meant for. 

Carlos doesn’t want to shock her yet, he doesn’t want to surprise her to a point where she reels back from him. First it’s his fingers testing her. It’s a god damn compliment that she’s so wet for him, that he made her this wet! He has to stop himself from beginning his feast to feed his soul. It takes so much control to keep him from diving forward into her. He uses his index finger to gently follow along her lips, up and down gentle, not yet pushing. He gets to feel her skin, he gets to feel how slick she is before he presses closer. How she moans? He’s never heard something so beautiful before. Raw, aching, and coming from her lips? He caused that, and he wants to hear that sound again! He pushes past her lips, and is against her clit, a slow circle that is soft and light along that sensitive nub. There’s that moan again! How the fire within him burns hotter when he hears it! 

He spends time there, slow circles that switch back and forth. Over his shoulders he feels her legs twitching, slightest pressure from her calves that urge him closer. He defies her from that, and wants to watch how she breathes, and how her head rolls back into the pillow. He leaves her clit alone, and again allows his fingers to run along her, gentle and exploring her far more than he ever has been able to. She’s beautiful, ever god damn inch. Every scar, every small bump of cellulite, every part of her that isn’t perfect with an even complexion. She’s a work of fucking art, god he’s lucky! So god damn lucky to be between her thighs, and have her trust. 

He teases at her entrance with his fingers, slight pressure as if he’s going to penetrate her. But, he never does. It’s there, and gone. Almost-almost! Then he draws away. She’s irritated, in a delicious way. That makes him grin watching her sighing impatiently. Her hands releasing and gripping the sheet again, and again. It’s a slow torture he wants her to have, and to be left shaking after. Again his fingers are there, pressure that almost pushes his index finger into her shaking core. Away he goes again. 

“Please,” she begs. That- fuck he thought the moans were beautiful, that could have had him undone himself! But, who is he to deny a lady?

He slips a finger inside her, slowly coaxing her with a bent motion. Come hither, my love. He wants it said through his fingers, and it’s heard. She does. She’s pushing her hips up towards him, her thighs are tightening on his shoulder. She’s soaking his finger that is bent inward to her, slowly moving, watching each emotion come undone on her face. Slowly he pushes two fingers into her, and the moans and gasps are truly heaven sent! He’s the maestro of this orchestra of sounds he causes from her. He conducts the symphony that has never sounded so sweet, and so beautiful before. He’s turning his wrist, his drawing art inside her soul. He’s creating something to be branded to his soul to follow him forever. He is the artist, and she’s the art that he watches come to life. God damn she’s beautiful. 

When he feels her muscles constricting around his fingers, beginning to quiver at hinted orgasm; he withdraws his fingers. There is a huff from Jill. She’s irritated! She was wanting that release, and he denies her that?! It’s cute to Carlos to watch her eyes open, and stare up at the ceiling ready to say something sarcastic to him. He doesn’t even want to allow her that to be had. Nah, he’s going to deny her that comment that is at the tip of her tongue. Because he’s going to rob her senses, and her mind with the tip of his tongue. Finally he gets to taste the decadent dessert that is waiting for him. It’s the tip of his tongue drawing from her core up to her clit. Jill was ready to say something, but it’s totally gone! Her mind has been erased, and she’s arching almost violently upward. 

On Carlos’s tongue she’s sweet, far sweeter than any honey or wine he’s ever had. Watching her body writhe, an her eyes fall shut is utterly insane. He’s causing this, he’s doing this to her, and he wants to watch her come undone. He wants her to release all frustrations against his mouth, and on his tongue. He wants for her to moan only his name. Again he delves into her with his tongue, and she’s gasping as if she finally broke the waters surface and can draw breath. It’s a violent delight to feel her beneath him, her legs clamping tighter to his shoulders, and able to taste what is his. He finally is upon her with his mouth. His beard irritates her skin, and his lips are speaking a foreign language that is only meant for her. 

It’s against her clit, it’s against her aching entrance to her soul, it’s along lips that are tormented with his cheeks that brush his facial hair against her. It’s his fingers coaxing her open, and helping to draw patterns along her. Further he explores, the further she’s lost. He’ll guide her from being lost. He growls in such appreciation when her hands are in his hair, finger tight in his dark lazy curls. She’s utterly helpless, and beautiful. She’s tensing against him, she’s pushing her hips to his face, and her legs are tight on his shoulders. He growls when she racks her nails across his scalp, and is panting. He teases her with his tongue penetrating into her, wanting more of a feast that is indescribable. He’s utterly lost to her. Jill Valentine claims his soul, his heart, his life. He can’t even begin to find rational thought to how she feels when she’s closer. He’s suckling at her, he’s teasing her with flicks of his tongue, he’s speaking to her in silence against her. He’s telling her how much he loves her, that she can do this, she can trust him. She’s replying with each moan, each shattering gasp that crashes through her. He wants this for her, and he wants for her to experience all of it. 

“C-Carlos!” There. That’s it. He hears his name from her lips, so desperate, and ready. So open and trusting, so vulnerable and broken. 

He guides her through it, his mouth is along her clit, and his fingers are inside her helping. He’s coaxing it out of her when he feels it. Had heaven and earth ever been moved, then it truly was thrown out of existence. She’s crying out! Her hands grasp tight to his hair, and her legs lock around the back of his shoulders. He feels her along his fingers, fluttering muscles that come in waves. He feels it with her hips pushed to him, and the throbbing pulse that runs through her. 

Jill, oh poor Jill. She sees white. Her whole body attacks her senses. She can’t fight the tears any longer, theys pill from between her lashes. She’s gasping, she’s moaning, she’s trying to keep the sob from erupting from her chest. She’s never felt herself crashing through existence, and writhing so deliciously. She’s never felt her body catch fire in a way that leaves her suddenly addicted. Fuck- she can’t even think, or form words besides Carlos’s name. She’s not sure what time, year, or moment it is. Only that she’s totally unraveled beneath him, and she’s shaking. She’s overstimulated, she’s hurting, and she feels amazing. Slowly she begins to climb down from the mountain peak that she reached. She can finally see through the white haze that had blinded her, and she finds herself trembling uncontrollably. 

Carlos slowly withdraws from being between her legs. He thought he had been ready for that, but god was he wrong. That was more than he ever thought of. He kisses her thigh, and slowly rises to be beside her, his hand on her belly. He draws their comforter over them both, holding her close. He sees the damp tears on her face, and waits for her to open her eyes to look at him. When she does, they are lost. They are searching, and he kisses her slowly. Still the taste of her is on his lips, and tongue. She’s flushed and she moves closer to him. 

He wants nothing in return, he wants for her to find her way back to earth, and in his arms. He holds her as she clings to him with her head on her chest. He’s silent. There’s nothing to say, though he wants to tell her in such detail how much he loves her, but for the moment, silence is all that they need. He could stay there like that forever, damn he’s tempted to. 

[queenofgotham800]

Hey ! If you are still taking requests can I request a Roman x reader ? Where the reader is pregnant and is super protective over her ? Maybe she’s at the black mask club with him and something happens and he protects her

Overprotective

(Roman Sionis x Reader)

Warnings: Gramatical Errors, Swearing, Mentions of Death

Summary: Roman is a very protective of (Y/n), but now when she is pregnant he became really overprotective.

(A/n): Thank for request! This is very cute idea, I love protective Roman 😍

Ya all, I have requests opened 24/7 (if I close them, it's going to be written in my bio), so if you have some ideas/requests feel free to send some (only fluffy and Angsty), even if you already sent few, (I don't mind anons) 💜

*whoops, I forgot the "T" on cover 😅

Roman was taking care about business things and you stayed upstairs. Roman told you to not exit the apartment, he even made Victor to guard you. Not like you needed it, but right now he was very overprotective about you and the baby. You both wanted to be the baby's gender surprise, so you weren't going on ultrasound, just on checkups. Roman was always with you, but when he wasn't which was rare, Victor would be close to you as some kind of guardian.

"Victor, I want to see Roman," you mumbled... You needed to see him right now. You had a bad feeling about something.

"(Y/n) you know that I can't let you go down, right? And now when is Roman doing the bussines I would highly recommend you to stay here in safety of this apartment," Victor said and caught you, when you nearly felt on ground, "Hey, look out! Are you okay?"

"Y- Yes, yes... I just need to see him," you nodded. World was turning around you and the baby was pulling you down on ground.

"Victor, I think I am gonna throw up," you mumbled and Victor took you to bathroom. You locked yourself in and opened the secret passage, which had Roman build in every room in this apartment. Truth was, you were okay. The headache was moderate. Closing the wall behind you, you needed to get out of here. You knew that Victor wouldn't let you to see Roman. You had to take it to your own hands. Through the secret passage, you walked downstairs. The baby had seven months, so there was time, you weren't going to give birth to it now.

You fast-walked down to the club and opened another secret passage doors to the back stage of club.

It's red curtains were hiding you from club. You were dressed just in pyjamas, which were looking fancy so you would blend in with crowd. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to run away from apartment. You walked to the club, looking for Roman. You didn't saw him anywhere, there was just Victor. He was looking for you or maybe Roman. Music changed dramaticaly to something slow. You turned to stage and saw Black Canary. Maybe Roman would be upstairs.

"Hey baby, whatcha doin?" asked some man behind you.

"Well, this baby," you caught your belly to let him know you are pregnant, "probably sleeps," you smirked and walked away. Of course there was few remarks at you, but you decided to ignore them and continue upstairs. But there was still that one man who was following you and flirting with you.

"Hey angel?" he moved with eyebrows.

"Look all these compliments are nice, but maybe you should try it with someone else since I am already in relationship," you moved up and down with shoulders and pointed at one lady which was trying to flirt with other people around.

"U go!" you pushed him forward and walked up the stairs hoping that the guy won't follow you and that you will find Roman here.

You thought you saw him, but it was just someone wearing familiar suit to Roman. You walked back and someone smacked your ass. You clenched fist ready to punch whoever did that. These assholes were all over this place. Slowly you understood why Roman didn't wanted to let you in club in these late hours.

"If I were you, I would be ashamed right now. But becouse I am father and husband of this beautifull woman I can do it to her whenever she gives me the permission to do it," Roman appeared from nowhere and whispered this to the guy behind you.

"I- I'm sorry I had no idea she is your's," he said, and you turned to them both.

"And if she wasn't mine, you would still be disgusting as fuck," Roman hissed and you saw Victor comming to you.

"Mr. Sionis, I said sorry," he said with the calm voice. His eyes full of tears were telling him otherwise.

"Boss?"Victor slowly approached you asking Roman if he should take you back to apartment.

"No Victor, (Y/n) came here so if she wants to stay here with these pigs, she can," Roman was angry at whole world. He wanted to protect you and the baby. Even Victor couldn't hold you in safe place. Would you run from him too? Roman had head full of these thoughts, so he just grabbed the guy by the shoulder and threw him downstairs. Thankfully there was nobody standing under them, so the guy just felt down. He could have few broken bones and broken nose since he felt on his face.

"Victor, get him to warehouse," Roman said to Victor and he nodded, comming downstairs. Then he turned to you. He was quiet and that wasn't good sign.

"Roman, I just needed to see you," you sobbed and he pulled you to his chest, hugging you. You didn't stayed in his arms for long, since he pulled you down to the stairs which were leading to apartment.

"What is wrong with you?" you yelled at him, "I can't leave apartment? I don't want to feel like I am in prison here!" Maybe your moods were changing so fast becouse of the baby, but it would mean that Roman was also pregnant.

"I-I am sorry you feel like that. I didn't knew..." he mumbled and pulled you to hug again. This time the hug lasted more than minute.

"I just had to get you out of there honey," he gave you kiss on head.

"Thanks for saving tho," you mumbled.

"I just want to protect you and little junior Sionis," Roman smiled and you let out little laugh.

"It will be girl and she will be after mommy," you whispered and gave him a kiss.

"How can you be so sure? I can feel it will be a boy."

You two walked to the apartment to the bedroom where Roman put blanket at you and gave you some cookies.

"Wow, thanks," you smiled and he sat next to you.

"But if you really feel like you were in prison here... You can go out sometimes. Like, shopping and stuff that you girls do," Roman smiled and you gave him kiss.

"Okay, thank you."

"I love you (Y/n)," Roman said and you laid your head on his shoulder, "I love you too Roman."

"And I love you too little Sionis," Roman put his hand on your belly and smiled as he felt baby's little hand on his.

[onisionisacanceronthisearth]

The Greg-Lainey livestream part 1

So I watched a 2015 livestream from 2015 that was linked in this post by @onisiondrama because I figured I’d watch it and provide commentary and take note of all the shitty things Greg does. This turned into what was basically a transcription of the video because literally (in the very literal sense) everything Greg said was terrible except one singular thing (but he managed to ruin that too). It was long so everything is under the cut. This is only part one of the stream (the first 21 minutes) but this was very long regardless

Starting out: -Greg looks angry yet he put in a decent amount of effort into his hair -Greg's face wrinkles look odd -Lainey has serious eyebags/wrinkles. She looks really tired -Greg does not help set anything up and is just sitting on his phone

Things Greg tells Lainey: -The first thing he actually tells Lainey is "kill yourself". I thought I misheard but he immediately said "that's funny, the first thing I say is kill yourself". He has no change in tone when he said both. He is so matter-of-fact in his acknowledgement that he told Lainey "kill yourself" in a non-joking tone. -The second thing he tells Lainey is *DRAMATIC SIGH* "apparently someone loves you" -Greg made a deal about Lainey "cussing" which is just so weird. Lainey mentions that he cusses in his videos to which he replies with "barely" (sure Greg). Plus, he's fine with graphically showing sex (and animal sex) to his audience but cussing is wrong? Exploiting his fans and calling them "Shrek" is fine but casually dropping an F-bomb isn't? -When Lainey brings up the fact that he is still on his phone much longer than the time it would have taken him to post a tweet he says "yeah because I don't want to be here". He is admitting that he's just derping around on his phone and ignoring both Lainey and the fans who are here for him. -Lainey says that he promised to be in the video for 30 minutes. He then laughs saying "Yeah! 30 minutes! (quieter) a few minutes". It's been less than five minutes at this point and he hasn't even tried. He has looked up at the camera twice

Lainey: -"Greg is finally here" turns to look at Greg all happy. Greg doesn't look away from his phone and smirks -When responding to a fan telling both of them that they're beautiful, while Greg went on about how they're actually ugly and wearing makeup and using lights Lainey said "I don't know about you but I'm a fucking ten". Good on you Lainey! Honestly, I do like that they still have some confidence here. They're not pulling a Greg saying that they are a "superior human", but they're also not pulling a Greg and berating the damn fan for complimenting them! -Lainey keeps looking to Greg when saying things but he ignores her most times just looking at his phone unless they address him directly, and even then he barely gives an answer. This was supposed to be a joint video right? -Lainey tries to keep Greg happy and encourage him to be nice. This fails every time -"Do you see me begging? No bitch". This cracked me up, not gonna lie. I mean I was just thinking that towards Greg and she actually said it to him

Greg to the fans: -"a piece of technology is broadcasting our life to the world, finally the world will see that we are in an abusive relationship. They will screencap it and post it to (rants of a list of sites)". This was completely unprompted in a totally monotone voice. Also, he knows he's on camera so obviously he won't do anything too bad. This livestream is also only an hour long so even he can keep himself calm for that bit of time. Also, if he doesn't want that to happen he could easily just not treat Lainey like shit for this hour. (note from the future, well I was wrong in expecting decency from him but I'm leaving this note in anyways) -"I'll interact with you guys in a second, I'm advertising that I'm doing this". Said in monotone, with an exagerated "I'm so done" face when he said "doing this". -"Guys, please give us more money, any change? We need change" "All this is is webcam begging". Oh I am loving this, the irony here is too great. What about Patreon Greg? Or your now paid YouTube channel? Or your current obsession with livestreams even ones given to your Patreons who already pay you? Also people can do livestreams for their fans you know. Lainey hasn't asked for likes, views, or anything so far. Also Greg's youtube videos can mostly be done on livestream given their simplicity and he expects money from them so I don't see the issue here -Ok, Greg did that "we need money" joke way too long and it became so fucking cringey with his attempt at acting with his faces and voice. -The phone has immediately been picked up again -"I hate live broadcasting" Laughs as if that is the funniest joke in the world and the audience he just shat upon will agree. Also, "haha, isn't it funny that I just put my wife down in a disgusting a degrading way that implies that they are begging for money from kids because they're famous?" -When Lainey brings up that he promised he would be here he immediately changed the subject to his face. He claims that his forehead is the size of half his face which is an obvious lie so he'll get people telling him it isn't. And I will say this, no Greg, your forehead looks of normal size, the combination of everything on your face mixed in with your shitty attitude and resting ass-face is what makes you ugly. Ok? -When a fan donates money (or uses their free likes) "Thanks for wasting your money! :D"

Ok, so I'm four fucking minutes in and the above is everything that's happened so far. I will now change this to a play-by-play because I don't feel like re-writing this and this format isn't working given how everything that is happening is another death in this trainwreck

Everything after the 4 minute mark in chronological order: -Lainey says "You litterally ruin everything I ever do". Greg laughs hysterically and says "this is why I don't have friends" and "everything you like sucks". Lainey also seems amused at first by him absolutely destroying both her fans and her livecast until he laughs at her pointing it out and he continues telling her everything about her is stupid -An argument starts after Lainey points out one of his blatant hypocrisies. Lainey tells Greg that he tells them to be more positive and he tries to backpedle and says it's different. He's "negative with a smile" apparently. Now let's hear him Greg-splain why that's different: "I'm not mad about it, that's why my  negativity is cool" -Lainey doesn't believe him and says again that he's being hypocritical. He gets all serious and in denial saying "it's not hypocritical it's all about context". So as long as you're "not mad" you can berate your wife for liking things or wanting to do a livecast as well as all the fans enjoying the livecast. You can also be like an emo 6 year old in the corner mad that he's forced to sit at the dinner table while on their phone because it's a "cool negativity". Gotcha -The analogy Greg uses is "You're gay" in a mad tone and "You're gaaaaay" in a stereotypical girl who likes gay people too much tone. "One is oh, you're cute, I like you! The other one is oh I'm a homophobe!". This makes no sense, does not apply to the scenario, and both are homophobic on top of all that. One is a school bully hating on someone who may or may not be gay and using gay as a slur, the other is someone going "oh you're gay? That's so cute!" or "you're such a cute guy, you must be gay!" -Ok Greg, enough Greg-splaining, this has nothing to do with tone and your tone is mean and condescending when you were telling Lainey everything they like is stupid as well as when berating the fan for donating to Lainey -Lainey: I've had enough of this (refering to Greg pathetically attempting to explain why he isn't being a hypocrite), Greg: Too much logic -Oh man this is hilarious, Greg talks about his book. He says the digital copy will be glitchy. Why? Because he wasn't able to edit it 11 days before the release with Amazon. And by edit it he means the spelling and gramatical errors. That's right, he submitted his book before it was done then was surprised when Amazon assumed it was done and expected to be able to edit his book during the time when they are supposed to be compiling it into the digital software. AFTER he published it!!!!!! That's not a glitch Greg, it's pure stupidity -Lainey waits until Greg is done his announcement and then starts reading a question for them to answer. Greg leans over, and starts reading another comment while she is talking in a much louder voice. The question is of course only about him -Lainey doesn't want to talk about the question because it's a silly question asking Greg if he's still dead inside. Greg then says "yes, let's ignore the issues so they never get solved". What. The. Serious. Fuck. A random question someone asked about his mental state (which is probably a troll) is not a "serious issue that needs to be addressed". And if he is feeling empty then this isn't the time or the place to help it, it's a private matter and he needs a psych for that. -Lainey says again they don't want him to talk about it because, in their own words, "I know you're going to be rude". Greg continues anyways about some bullshit that as you get older you start to become numb and him being suicidal once excellerated that. Brilliant Greg, I'm sure your many years of studying psychology has taught you that -Lainey really doesn't want him to be talking about this and he then goes on about how "SHE takes this all personal" taking it to mean that he doesn't love them. As Lainey says, how can you not take that personally? He's talking about how he was once suicidal, he feels empty and few emotions and now he's blasting this to the world in a steam I am 6 minutes in where he has already berated her and called the things she likes stupid.

-Oh this total fucking asshole fucking said to "think of it as a disability". Ok Greg, fuck off with that utter bullshit. You don't consider mental illness to be a disability and you fucking berate suicidal kids every fucking chance you get telling them that they are the source of their own depression and that they should just chose to be happy (as if you can chose to grow your leg back after an accident) and that people who enter relationships with mental disorders are the scum of this earth AND that people with mental disorders do not deserve love. FUCK OFF YOU PIECE OF SHIT WISHFUL MOTHER FUCKER. WHAT'S A WISHFUL MOTHER FUCKER YOU ASK? IT'S SOMEONE WHO WISHES THEY COULD FUCK THEIR MOTHER BUT THEIR MOTHER IS TOO FUCKING GOOD FOR THEM -AND NOW THIS WISHFUL MOTHER FUCKER TELLS LAINEY THAT THEIR SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES ARE NOT A DISABILITY WITH THIS FUCKING FACIAL EXPRESSION

He's literally telling people that only some mental issues are a disability. And by some he means his alone -Lainey doesn't want to talk about her self-esteem issues on the livestream (and likely not in front of Greg either) and he says "this is why things don't bother me, it's because I talk about them". Ok 1, you just said you have an issue that can't be fixed 2, this is a fucking livestream Q&A for their fans this isn't the time or the place for this shit! -Greg makes a joke while looking at Lainey that this is a reality show where they talk about their issues in a mocking manner. Is he instantly forgetting that he's the one who wants to talk their issues publicly while Lainey is the professional one trying to get back on track? -Greg hates on Lainey again for cussing -Poor Lainey is talking about how everyone is going to take Greg's side no matter what. That's so sad, this whole stream is so sad -Greg says that Lainey's "not telling the truth so it's only helping them". Lainey is bringing up the fact that Greg swears, Greg is saying only in his videos. If anyone takes a side it will be based on the idea of "does it count if Greg only swears in character?". No one is at their house to know if either him or Lainey is telling the truth here -Greg degrades a fan for sending the message "I think you're perfect <3 <3 <3" by saying "Are you 12?" THEY VERY WELL COULD BE YOU ASS. Also laughing at your shit comments doesn't turn it into you "not being mad" -Lainey mentions that it could be them using the emojis to try and make sure their comment might get noticed to which Greg spontaneously says "Yeah, so maybe their parents might give you money!". Ok, someone sending a message to Lainey with multiple hearts doesn't have any connection to Lainey getting money out of their parents. Jesus Greg, you'd actually manage to fail basic-level statistics. You cannot related two completely unrelated statements, it doesn't work -Greg counters Lainey telling him that he's rude with "so's reality". Nope, not even close. Lainey does hilariously make fun of Greg's "Boo hoo, reality is mean guyz D:" implication followed by them saying that "reality is rude" is his response to everything. He does get annoyed with her for doing that, his face falls from the smile below after he realised what she’d done. I just included Lainey’s pic because it was funnier

-Apparently Lainey saying they're tired is them being "negative" -Lainey reads out a comment saying "Stop being mean to Lainey" to which Greg replies sarcastically "yeah, she's the victim, I'm the perpetrator". Bitch what gives you the right to claim otherwise? Are you trying to tell us that secretly Lainey's the abusive one? Because this livestream gives us no evidence of that. Oh, did she once tell you she was too tired for sex? It's the end of the world guys! Lainey is mean to Greg! (fuck there are 11 minutes left on part 1) -Lainey is rightfully upset by Greg's implication so he says "no I'm just agreeing with them, I'm a terrible person". What was that rant earlier about tone? Also when you follow it with this smile it makes it hard for us to believe you 

-The more Greg puts Lainey down the more Lainey wants physical comfort, sadly the only one in the room is Greg so Lainey is now hugging themselves against Greg

-Greg keeps trying and failing at comedy -Greg says "you think I'm insulting people but I'm not, I'm just telling it as it is". TONE, TONE, TONE! Noting that the majority of your audience here is children is fine, making fun of them for being young and acting as though they're stealing their parent's credit card is you being a total shithead. ALSO, so you admit that your audience is mostly kids now? -Greg calls his audience a bunch of idiot kids and that Youtubers should not feel proud of having large audiences because their audience is only kids. I guess Sesame Street isn't an important show that helps people learn because it focuses on the growth and development of kids. I guess Winnie the Pooh has no value because it's also for kids -"You dated me when I was 17, I was a teenager then." HOLY SHIT WHAT IS LIFE? Why is this a legit argument being used against a 30 year old man who is hating on children. How is this Onision's life? Why is this an actual valid point? -Lainey points out that some of the kids on this stream are probably 17, Greg ignores them and very seriously says "when I was 17 I was basically the same person". The only difference between then and now is that he was "negative, negative" then and now he's "smile negative". I'm not high enough for this -Greg remembers when he was 12, mentions he was into Metal Gear Solid and then conciders that maybe 12 year olds aren't stupid -"Why don't you just not call people stupid?" "Because I'm stupi-everybody's stupid. We're all stupid. We really are". Not joking, he sounds like his voice is breaking towards the end of that. It's at the -8:28 mark approximately if you're interested in hearing it -Lainey keeps trying to defend these kids but Greg just ignores them and talking over them going into a philisophical monologue about how we're all stupid. He's trying guys, he really is. Not going to lie, one could have a philisophical talk about how humans are slaves to their desires but Greg can't. It's one of the easiest arguments you can bullshit though if you only have 30 seconds to talk about it but he fails even at that -"What is intelligence except for (word vomit that means "thinking", I'm not fucking kididng you) and our desires." Intelligence does involve thinking Greg, typically more thought than you used to come up with the revelation -Greg's excuse for coming up with this is that "he's trying not to sound like a douchebag" AKA pretencious. Actually most people define pretenciousness as someone trying to pass off stupidity as high-class philosophy. Too late -Greg is doing the "if I admit that what I'm saying is bullshit, people won't think it's bullshit". Except he's just admitting that he's running around in a circle trying to explain why it is ok to call your audience, who you think are children, stupid -He failed at that too with the glorious sentence "I'm trying to talk my way into circles like oh! If I run in this circle fast enough they won't think I have sort of circular mentality" Even Greg knows this is bullshit

-Greg says that he didn't ask to be there, he was invited there, and that is why he is acting like an ass and is totally justified in doing so. Can't wait to see how you plan to act on The Andy Show! Oh wait, you're never going to be invited on -Still ironic that Greg started off this broadcast saying that this stream will show proof that he isn't an abusive ass -Apparently the reason Greg is an asshole is because he talks about the "depth and deep philosophy of life -"No, all you ever do is be rude and then try to justify it by bringing philosophy into it" - Lainey 2k15 -This feels like the Joker + Harley where Harley knows the Joker is a pure sadistic monster but stays with him because she loves him -HE FUCKING COMPARED HIMSELF TO DONALD TRUMP AND ALSO CALLED HIMSELF A YOUNG DONALD TRUMP -Lainey because incredibly uncomfortable when he says it telling him not to say that. They mention that they'll throw up and honestly, that doesn't look like an exageration. Lainey looks like they want to disapear the moment Greg said he was like Trump. He talks over and says that he's only been divorced once though -Greg starts basically pushing Lainey to throw up making puke noises and saying he's Trump. He'd be a great candidate for voice over pukes. Maybe The Emoji Movie 2 will use that emoticon and he can voice it -Greg really thinks he's funny, my god is that sad -Greg randomly starts talking to "those who want him to run in 2020" saying he's not old enough. Lainey asks how old he would need to be and he says, "I don't know, I haven't done the math but I think I'll be 34....". You'll be 35 Greg. This was filmed in 2015 and his age was a nice round number (30). He only had to subtract 20 by 15 (5) add then add 5 to 30. But yeah, his age is the only reason why he might not be able to run -A commenter is called "Caitlyn Jenner" and Greg rants that she should pay the grandchildren of the grandma she killed. I did research and holy shit, it's true, and fuck the fact that rich people can literally get away with murder and then even being able to go to court to try not to pay even a settlement for their murder! <- witness the one time I actually 100% agreed with Greg -Oh look, he ruined it by saying "if the family of that deer I killed is watching this please contact me and I'll give you money for the deer I hit while going 5 under the speed limit". Didn't he not even report it? -Greg managed to throw in a "haha, there is a serious issue within the catholic church with child molestation but I'm just going to make an off-handed joke about a bishop named Seth who molests children, aren't I funny?". There are some things off limits or have to be done with care and if you aren't actually going to tackle the issue, don't make the joke. The joke's context here is that either "all priests or bishops molest kids" or "isn't child molestation hilarious?" -Lainey did not like the joke and tried saying "that went a little far". Of course Greg didn't care -Apparently going too far would be going "dear fat people". So Greg admits he does go too far all the time then? Also context matters, if someone made a parody against the "dear fat people" bitch then it would work. Just like the previous joke would potentially work if he used it as a way to tackle the real life issue within certain communities, in this case the Catholic Church -Greg ironically goes on a rant against the Dear Fat People bitch, not about the content of her video, but the fact that she calls herself a comedian and has only a few videos on youtube. It seems if you don't have a lot of videos on youtube you can't call yourself a comedian. Really Greg? That's your takeaway from the video? -Holy projection batman! "Now I say that's [calling people fat] a joke, but I actually think that everything I'm saying right now is totally true". So practically all your jokes ever? Including ones you've said this stream? -Oh, here's Greg admiting that that's a projection! -Lainey is freaking out a bit that so many people are watching this (right before Greg came up with an example of something he passes as a joke but isn't actually). Greg goes back to berating her for the stream saying it's just for money. "Yeah guys, she's totally doing this because she loves you guys" -Lainey says that she does like broadcasting (which Greg takes it as her exposing herself???) and says how she started broadcasting even before she became a partner and could make money off of it -Lainey tells the audience that she's never doing this again while Greg chants "mama needs a new ferrari". Ok, but apparently Baby needs two Teslas! :D -"Stop hitting my leg" -Lainey -Greg talks about how him "gently patting" her leg means it's all over. As if he has't been fucking abusive already in under 20 minutes of broadcast so far -Talking about/to someone named Seth that's been brought up alot by the commenters aparently: "You've only got 40k subscribers Seth? You're not popular enough for us, my wife has 60k subscribers and she doesn't even do anything" -Ok, so the word "fuck" is off limits but Greg talking about jerking off isn't. Including a comment that he jerks off a lot. Good to know where your priorities are. -Also the context of that is him saying that "if you aren't educating yourself then what are you doing?" Followed by joking that it would be jerking off. Ironic that one of the most ignorant dumbasses on youtube would talk about the importance of educating yourself -He's quoting Sherlock acting like the world doesn't notice their surroundings when he didn't even know that the IRS requires proof (which is straight up on their website) -Lainey says that Greg is either as he is in the broadcast, playing Metal Gear, or totally silent and ignoring her. I think that's the most important thing to come out of this shitstorm -Oh, Greg made a joke that in real life they hate each other and this is all an act (if it's all an act shouldn't this mean he actually loves Lainey IRL?). Lainey makes the joke that it isn't a joke, they actually hate each other and Greg says, "I meant it as a joke but you were serious and that hurts". I'm pretty sure Lainey was implying that he hated THEM but sure, make it about you Greg -Greg compares them to the Simpsons saying he's the dumb one and they're the smart one who puts up with him and it's great. Lainey brings up the question "how is that good?". "Becaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaause we're never going to leave each other" in the whinyest voice ever. Followed by "well I'm too dumb to be in a healthy relationship and you're so smart that you're able to compensate". HOLD UP WISHFUL MOTHER FUCKER, HOLD THE FUCK! UP! ARE YOU ADMITING THAT THIS RELATIONHSIP IS UNHEALTHY AND TOXIC BUT IT'S OK BECAUSE LAINEY IS SO GOOD AND PURE THAT THEY MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP HEALTHY? THAT'S NOT HOW A RELATIONSHIP FUCKING WORKS. NO WONDER EVERY RELATIONSHIP YOU'VE EVER HAD HAS GONE TO HELL. YOU THINK THAT AS LONG AS THE PERSON YOU'RE WITH IS GOOD YOU CAN BE AS SHITTY AS YOU WANT. FUCK YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR -"This is funny coming from someone who always calls me dumb" End of part 1Ok, so this was long because literally everything Greg said was terrible and went on here so this is practically a transcript. I will look at the other parts tomorrow and do a post when I can because I really can't watch more than 20 minutes at a time. I hope this helps anyone who can't watch the broadcast and I hope my commentary didn't become too negative to read. Particularily during my rants but I had to get it out. My parting words on this will be to Lainey if they're reading this: Get out, please, you don't deserve this. You deserve to be happy, even if you never got into another relationship again after this, being without a romantic partner is so much better than being with someone who actively ruins your life.

[thestalkerbunny]

might aswell do em all at once, oshune, osheel, ecohla, dacola, zina, yolanda, eris and her boys, shadow fuckits, the dragon princess

you can painfully tell where I got tired and I don't know what Shadowfuckits are.

Imena (there's nothing really that sexual with Imena.)

-Imena honestly has no real intrest in having a sexual relationship, a boy/girl/date friend, or intentions to get married.

-*steps up to a microphone.* I am hardly 15 and I've only held hands with one other person and he was a skeleton, let me run my country, you guys don't even have clean drinking water and you're concerned about me poppin' out babies.

-She just really wants to get her country in order before she considers even getting with anyone, let alone sex.

-her asshole of an uncle nearly married her off the Meme Lich (to have some sort of control over the skeleton endemic) but it just pissed off Memey even more because A: he only saw Imena as a friend and his first friend in a long time and B: Imena was nearly 13 at the time.

-She does get numerous letters from foreign royalty, saying that a Prince has come to claim her hand, per some made up agreement they made (Agnola's Royal blood line is believed to the be the only ones who have acesses to a true dragon's horde. Outsider royals want in on the goods.) She turns them down, but they come anyway.

-Knights have broken into the castle, claiming they've come to save the Dragon's Princess. Nobody ever seems to inform these people of the gramatical error. They are usually hauled off by Imena's royal gaurd and put in the stocks for disturbing a princess.

-Imena's possibly Demisexual or Asexual, she just sees sex as a process for makin' babies (and in the middle ages, that is a dangerous thing do be doing for a lady.)

　

Eris

-Never really had sex before the whole 'I gotta pay for collage because I'm not talented enough to get a scholarship and I've lost the financial aid, I need cash.'

-the embodiment of 'please do not tell my mother what I do to make money.'

-She liked her first client. He was rather clean, polite and a nice tipper. Everyone else was a varying dissaray of rude, disgusting or terrible tipper-or shy and akward. Eris likes the shy and akward ones, less scary. She really liked the rich ones-or the heavy sleepers that didn't notice when she took extra 50s from their wallets

-Oogie and Slash are probably the first REAL relationship she's ever hard. They were good clients who became nice aquatinces who then offered her a part in a poly relationship.

- She has yet to be arrested for sex work. It helps when you're able to change shape really fast. Dive into a crowd and the cops will never find her.

-She doesn't like aphysxiation. Choking scares her deeply, she likes all hands to be kept away from her lil' neck.

-Biting on her lil' ears however, is welcomed, provided it is the nice gentle nibbles and not too hard. Pulling the tail is fine, just not too hard

-Is rather jaded in the regards to the nude form thanks to many live model art classes and her line of work. There is no blushing embarressed girl in the bedroom when the tits and dick come out.

-She's just as comfortable doing girls as she is boys-she just happens to have a much heavier male clientel.

-Best at blow jobs. Hands down.

　

Slash n' Oogie

-Slash is half Oogie's size, so usually it's Oogie being on top, which Slash has no argument on.

-Oogie is completely down for the whole being hit schtick. Takes him back to his old moshipitting days where he got decked in the nose and got weird boners.

-Slash never had sex really before Oogie. Akward making out and weird groping with partners, yes, but never full on sex.

-Slash likes to bite, but usually it's very gentle nibbles because his fangs are itty bitty. He also likes it when his little wings are played with.

-Eris is, and both of them agree on this, the best girl they've ever had sex with. Considering how Oogie's only been with guys all his life and Slash has only had sex with Oogie prior Eris.

-Oogie was hesistant in the whole regard of the poly idea, mainly because muscians and girls usually have a bad history trend of fucking things up. Eris has yet to fuck anything up.

-Oogie is best at oral and sexual things, but Slash gives the sweetest fluffiest smooches you'd probably get diabetes.

　

I have no clue what the Shadowfuckits are. Clarify please

　

Yolanda

-It's been probably 80 years since she's had a fuck and she couldn't care LESS

-her baps are all natural and big and they annoy her to no end because she can't ever find cheap bras that'll fit her and in life, it caused her back pain. Now she feels nothing-but they still get in the goddamn way. They are also sensitive. Select few know this and have had the glory of being pushed against them.

-There are scars, very lightly around her reproductive bits and breasts, you can't even really tell, but by touch you'd know they're there. Brothel work was an ugly and violent trade for her. She hates that they've followed her into death. She had much more when she was alive.

-She bit. Hard. Not in the sensual way, but in the agressive, 'get off of me, your hour is fucking up and I HATE you' way. People have had scars and needed stitches after leaving Yolanda's company, often complaing about the moody blue eyed Snorunt lass.

-Has various erotic impulses and thoughts with people she's attatched to when she's absolutely sloshed, but never acts upon them.

-She did like it when her more sumissive 'clients' play with her boobs and let her take more charge during the whole thing. Some of her clients were petrified younge men who where dragged there by their fathers to ensure their boys were 'made into MEN' and had never done anything more than looked a girl in regards of womanly contact. She was a bit more compassionate twords these fellows.

-She doesn't like the 'BSDM' or the concept of hitting someone for sexual sport. If someone even playfully slapped her in bedroom regards, she'd probably lay into them with her fists.

-Watched porn maybe 3 times in her afterlife. All she said was 'She's faking it, He's faking it, all of it sucks and is completely inaccurate, nobody can have that much dialouge with dick in mouth.'

　

Zina

-VERY VANILLA

-Having sex for reasons outside of reproduction is an SIIINNNNNNNN

-praise gets her motor going tho. Telling her that she's good and valid and what not.

-Not much else to say. She's probably never masturbated or seen porn.

　

Dacola

-LET THEM WEAR THE CAPE DURING SEX. They're gonna wear it anyway whether you tell them to or not.

-Bite BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE, they love to bite and love to be bitten.

-Rough sex is good sex to them

-they do NOT like it when an outfit is ripped to shreds just so genetials go be gotten to faster. clothing is carefully undone, no button busting here.

-will seduce you, your gf, your bf and your bff and then sleep with you all in one massive orgy.

-'Bluh Bluh, let me suck your bits.'

-BOOOBS ARE GREAT AND WONDERFUL, very fond of titties and biting nips.

　

Ecohla

-Good lord, the list is LONG

-down for almost ANYthing, provided it's not gross (like, peeing or something like that. Nasty)

-gives head like a pro, eats out like an american. you want stress relief? you want Ecohla.

-will let you do them in the nook AND backdoor just for the sole purpose for their hands to be unoccupied so they can do something else.

-This rainbow drinker seems to only want to drink rainbow fluids.

-doesn't bite, not into the taste of blood.

-good at handies

-can't see worth shit and yet has the best bedroom face ever.

　

Osheel

-making out mentally behind the mask and stupid grin.

-is masturbation sex when you're two diffrent people fused together? I suppose it is. Having a one handed wank is twice as enjoyable.

-is just as open to everyone as Oshune is, a bit more reserved as Seelie is.

　

Oshune

-we have been over this enough to know she's down to clown with you all.

[queenofgotham800]

Life Is Complicated

(Roman Sionis x Reader)

Warnings: Gramatical Errors, Torture, Swearing, Psychical bullying, lonelines, Weapons, Scarcasm, Violence, Treason, Tension, Death

(A/n): As one of the greatest mobs in Gotham City, you have to compete with others criminals, as Joker, Black Mask and other families all over the city. You are interested for one diamond, which turns to be not that thing you needed by the end of a day.

Sitting behind your big work table, drinking black coffee, you thought about the diamond, which could bring you wealth and safety. You also heard that Harley Quinn and Joker aren't together anymore, so whole Gotham was now bussy with going after her.

-Mrs. (y/s), we found the diamond.- Mike came closer to table and gave you note with initials HQ.

-So Harley Quinn, is it?- you smirked, you didn't planned killing her, but now you thought about it a lot, you had to have that diamond.

-Where is she? Next time you walk in here, you will give me every information about her and about that diamond.- you threw the paper against the wall.

-Yes, yes of course Mrs. (y/s), I won't fail you.- Mike panicked and you seen it, so you decided to scare him up a littlebit.

-Mikey, look, I am serious, if you fail, that's gonna be the last time you ever failed.- you smiled at him, while he dissapeared scared behind big doors to your office in your mannor.

You leaned at your chair and watched gotham skyscrapers shine in dark night.

Four hours later

You were tied to the chair behind Harley Quinn in Black Mask club. Wait.. How did you got yourself in this situation, you ask? Let's summarize it.

Hour and half after Mikey left

After that you thought a lot and came up with perfect plan. Harley Quinn was captured by Black Mask, he was one of your many enemies, he wanted that diamond for himself, for same reason like you.

When you did something for Gotham, or against it, others thought Roman did it. At least he distracted police from true Queen of Gotham.

You prepared yourself with few golden revolvers and one uzi. Your gang was preparing too, Mike took few mans and they walked in front of your mannor, waiting for your speech.

-Well, its the day, when we kill our enemy Black Mask.- you said. They were looking up to you with expresions of true soldiers.

-Roman Sionis has lot of mans, how do you want to kill him?- asked somebody, probably one of Mike's coward man's.

-You are not telling his name on my property! I said I have a plan and I just sent it to you through the messenger.. - You shouted and then smiled and calmly sent the plan to every soldier to the group chat.

-Murderous chatting group, are you serious (y/n). - you werent sure if he just joked or made fun of you.

-Oh, c'mon, why are you so boring!? Henry? No.. Lucas.- you pointed at soldier and entered your armored car.

Hour later

-We are here.- Frank said through walkey talkey. He was one of your best hitman and sniper here, he was loyal and precise.

-Great, get on your position.- you whispered into your walkey talkey.

Plan was simple, but affective.. Well at least, it would be affective...

-I am there.- Frank said and you looked on rooftop. Frank was waiting on his spot with sniper, masked so it was hard for you to spot him at first.

-Great!- you said and opened door of the van, but you stopped when you heard gun firing from rooftop.

-Frank?- you said to the walkey talkey and waited for his response. He didn't respond.

-They betrayed us!- shouted second team, you heared guns and screams.

-Hands up (y/n).- you heared familiar voice from behind and felt cold gun on your back.

-Mikey.. Mike, Mike.. So you decided to change sides. Why? Did sionis offered you money? Safety?- you laughed in his face.

-You are so dead Mikey.- he glared at you and slapped your face.

-No bitch, you are dead.- he slapped you one more time and you blacked out.

Some time later

-Time to wake up pretty.- somebody next to you said. You were tied to chair sitting behind someone.

-Welcome to the Black mask club.- blond guy, probably Victor Zsasz, smiled and slowly brushed knife around your cheek.

-Yes, welcome! Harley Quinn and (y/n) (y/s)! I am pleased to finaly meet you (y/n), I cant say that about Quinn tho.- I felt how is he standing somewhere behind me, where was tied probably Harley.

-Oh, Hello.- Harley said, from behind. You stayed quiet. They betrayed you and now, you were first time meeting Black mask, in person.

That's the situation of many mobs in Gotham. They hear about others, but they rarely meet, and if they meet its about businnes or it's kidnapping.

You still couldn't see through light anybody face-to-face, just Zsasz who was standing next to you looking on you playfully. You knew that look.. Anytime, when was somebody from your closest hitman's ready to have some fun with your enemies.

-Can you, can you please.. don't breath in my face, that's disgusting. Didn't your boss taught you how to behave in presence of lady?- you smirked and turned your head to Victor who was now, surprised putting down the knife.

-Bitch!- Zsasz said through evil grin.

-Victor, what was that? You can't treat my guest like that, plus she is special guest!- Roman shouted from seat somewhere behind you.

-Take Quinn away!- Roman said.

-Victor, now!- He shouted this time and Victor fastly took chair with Harley on it with loud screeching.

After they left you felt the chair turning from bright light to the owner of the club.

-Black Mask, i wish I could say how am i pleased to meet you, but i can't under these circumstances.- you boredly smiled and then your mouth hang open.

You didn't expected him to be handsome and sexy, in fancy suit, gloves on his hands. He didn't had his mask on, which surprised you.

-Wow.. I.. Lucky woman or man who has you... - you smirked and said with sarcastic tone.

-I am gonna take that as compliment.- he blushed, but he was still deadly serious, unlike you. But you were never 100% serious, so it was normal.

-Can i go home?- you asked after long and cringy quiet.

-Dollface, you wanted my diamond. You wanted to kill my people, you wanted to kill me..- he put the bowl with popcorn on the table next to his chair.

-Yeah, and i wanted your fancy suits and this boring club... C'mon, you know me Mask, you know me..- he pretended thinking, while you rolled your eyes.

-Catwoman? Nah, she works alone, right?- he laughed. Roman did it on purpose, but you played along.

-Yeah, you wish.. I am the boss in Gotham darling, not you, not joker, not penguin, two face or any other psychos in Gotham, but me..- Roman started laughing and you glared at him.

-So that's you! I imagined you, littlebit more.. Scary.. I don't know.- he still laughed.

-Look, Mikey betrayed me, if he did that once, he will do it again. Gosh, he went after that diamond too..- you smirked and mumbled the last sentence.

-What?- Sionis stopped laughing and he took out his gun.

-Oh, honney, you really thought he's gonna listen to you? That he's gonna be loyal to you? Well, look who is laughing now.- you laughed and in that moment you knew you won it.

-I'm gonna go after him and bring his face to my desk.- Roman said and he was about to leave, when you stopped him.

-Wait..- you shouted, moving forward, tied to chair.

-What?- he turned and asked annoyed.

-You need me.- you smiled and chair under you screeched again, as you came to the table with popcorn bowl on it.

-Plus, I am hungry.-

-Oh, right!- he theatrically said and came to you. When he leaned closer to your face you could feel goosebumps on your skin.

-And why should i do that?-

-Mike has my plans, my plans! That means he is ready for everything, you and your people are gonna be dead if you don't free me.- You really gived Mike, as a third leader of operation detailed plans of what to do and what to NOT do.

You lifted your eyebrows up when Roman took handcuffs, from chair and put one of them around his arm, practically now bonded with you.

-Great, now what? Are you gonna swallow that key?- you remarked.

-Why would i do that?- he made that eww expresion.

-And why not? At least you would choke yourself with that. But thinking about that, that would be very bad idea, I can't imagine myself going around in this,- you clinked with handcuffs, -with your corpse hanging on me like some accessory.-

-Why are you helping me?- Roman asked while you took some popcorn and threw it in your mouth.

-Becouse i don't have to work with morons anymore.- you smiled and pulled him to doors.

-Whoah, wait.. Are you expecting something from me?- he asked, while you were seraching for guns.

-Yes, I don't know.. You can keep the diamond, but i need your protection. And i am not going to work for you, but with you. Are we clear?- you opened a box close to couches.

-Sure.. Under one circumstance.- he pointed gloved finger at you.

-What?-you asked, while you whistled looking at arsenal in colorful box.

-You are not going to call me Black Mask, are we clear? I am Roman Sionis.- he put his hand on your shoulder and you stopped moving.

-I... Think i found it.- you said and pulled from box red revolvers and few uzi's.

-Best, fucking, weapons.- you said as you checked ammo in them.

-They are full.- smile came through your face as you turned and bumped into Roman, forgetting he was standing behind you becouse of the handcuffs.

You had moment with him, your (y/c) eyes were looking at his blue eyes. Some could say that his eyes were blue like sky, but you couldn't, since weather in Gotham was always foggy, rainy and sky here? It wasn't blue but gray...

-We should go.- he took both revolvers from me and you took two uzi's.

Since you were handcuffed to him, you had to synchronize your hands.

-So we will be standing back to back, right?- you whispered.

-Yes, it will be shame I won't see your pretty face, when we'll be dying.- he said and coughed.

-We wont, and.. Ehm.. Thanks..?- you mumbled and opened the door.

At the end of the room, there was a light flickering and under that light, there was tied some man.

-Victor!- Roman pulled you towards unconsciousness Zsasz.

-Roman wait.- you stopped him, before he could do something stupid.

-It's not that easy.- you whispered and took a smoke bomb from one of many shelves there.

As bomb felt on ground, smoke started comming from it and there, where Roman was about to step was a laser bomb, there were actually many lasers, which meant many bombs in room.

-Trap bombs.. - Roman looked on me with fear in eyes, knowing he would be dead, if you weren't there.

-Whoah, you look like you don't have a good relationship with bombs.- you said and catch his hand.

-It's okay, I am with you.- you smiled and he squeezed your hand.

You walked out of the room, leaving Zsasz there for now, at first you had to deal with Mike.

At surprise his mans were already waiting in front of the doors.

-Looks like Mikey changed few plans a bit.- you whispered.

-Great.. - Said Roman and threw his guns to ground, lifting his hands up to air, together with one yours.

-So you really thought you would kill me with handcuffs on?- Mike was wearing one of Roman's suit.

-No.. No... We were actually making out, but we lost the key... WHAT ARE YOU THINKING YOU FUCKING MORON! We would kill you blindfolded, even five year old kid could kill you!- you were raging, again tied to the chair together with Roman. You didn't saw Harley anywhere, so you assumed that she escaped during fight with Roman's and Mike's mans.

-Why are you wearing my suit? Who do you think you are?- Roman was raging too.

-Well this is gonna be fun to watch.- Mike smirked, entertained by rage of two strongest mobs in Gotham City.

Mike came to you and started speaking. -You know why you were alone, you think that sarcasm is helping you escape reality. I don't know how and i don't care. You'll never be somebody in this city, just a little girl with tears in her eyes.- he pulled your hair to back and watched you glaring at him.

-What? Ran out of words?- he laughed evily.

-Leave her alone!- Roman shouted, which surprised you.

-Of course.. Look who is talking now.. The boy that got dropped in his birth on head. Sad. But that was just first part of your life right? You had everything, child of bilionares, you didn't have to even move from your fancy chair to get what you want.- Mike said and pulled Victor's knife out of his pocket. You were squeezing Roman's hand whole time, with tears in your eyes. He didn't had to stand for you.

-You are pathetic little shit Mike.- you turned my head to him smiling.

-I know.. And i love it.- Mike laughed again, but stopped when somebody knocked on doors.

-You know, I am always giving plans to leaders of the mission. You thought I gived you all my plans. But what would be plans without secrets, that only one true leader knows? An escape plan, if somebody betrays me..- You laughed and felt the handcuffs falling from your and Roman's hands.

-What?- Mike turned to take his gun, but it was late for him. Doors blew and your people came to the club, armed like you never saw them before, pointing their guns on Mike, who dropped Victor's knife down.

-Thanks Romy.- you kissed him on head. Then you came closer to the Mike.

-What? Oh, the handcuff magic? Ugh, easy trick for begginers.- you laughed and gived him black eye.

-Roman had a key.- you whispered into his ear while he lost consciousness.

Some time later, but this time In warehouse

-So, now are we officialy together?- Roman asked you, while you stood in warehouse watching Victor peel off Mike's face. You turned to him, and came closer, gived him passionate kiss as he catched your ass.

-You will be mine princess.- Roman put one of his hand in pocket.. Which reminded you..

-You will be refering to me as Queen from this day.- you held a small revolver pointing at his heart.

-I knew from begining that Mike's gonna betray me, I knew you made a deal with him. Now I want that fucking diamond.- you pushed the gun closer to his chest and raised eyebrows.

-I will get you that diamond on a ring.- he said and kissed you, even when you held a gun against his chest.

-I'll take that offer.- you smiled, throwing the gun away, pulling him closer and kissing him again.

-Hey, this is time for fun, not time for romance.- Victor shouted as he slowly removed skinn down Mike's face.

-Vi.. Vic..I..Uh..- you didn't let Roman finish as you kissed him.

-Have fun, I have a date.- He said then and pulled you to his limusine.

-Sure boss.- Victor said and grabbed Mike's hair to make him sway on the chain.

-Have fun Mikes, I am gonna go clear the club from the fucking mess you've made.- Zsasz walked out of warehouse, closing doors.