#god fuck idk what to do in this house i have like 3 painful parts of the body I have to endure im gonna be sick taking these pain meds

[mini-uzzy]

.

[waitineedaname]

shoes in FMA rated on how comfortable they'd be to fight in

Edward Elric

considering Ed's uhhh very distinct taste in aesthetics, these could be a lot worse. they look relatively comfortable and don't seem like they'd be difficult to move around in. they are platforms though, which I imagine makes things more difficult. I'll be generous and give these a 7/10

Most of the Amestrian military

pretty much everyone in uniform wears the same shoes, so I'm lumping them all together. these are Roy's, if that matters. they look fine. I imagine that because it is part of a military uniform, it's designed to be moved around in and worn for hours on end, so ideally they're relatively comfortable. it doesn't look like there's much traction, but they're usually fighting on flat surfaces so whatever. 8/10

Fu and Lan Fan

these shoes fucking rule. the picture I've included is Lan Fan's, but they wear p much the same shoes. I fucking love these things. they have spikes. Edward Elric fucking wishes. considering this seems to be part of the bodyguard uniform, I'd imagine they're as easy to run around in as the military shoes, if not better since they're expected to be doing martial arts in them. but most importantly, they have spikes. 10/10, no notes.

Ling and Mei

on the topic of doing martial arts, both Ling and Mei wear these.... I'm not sure what they are. flats? slippers? it's unclear. (EDIT: they are apparently Kung Fu shoes!) they seem relatively easy to move around in I guess since they're not very cumbersome and both Ling and Mei rely on being very nimble. they look like they have absolutely no support in the soles though, which is gonna get painful after a certain point. also depending on what fabric they're made of, they could definitely start chafing. I've worn flats. I know that hell. 7/10 for the potential blisters, but at least they're designed specifically for martial arts

Greedling and Bradley

it's hard to get a good shot in this scene because neither of them stop moving, but I swear to god, they're fighting in dress shoes. I cannot stand them. this CANNOT be comfortable. I know Greed prioritizes aesthetics over function so this was probably a compromise between his and Ling's tastes but ohhh my god. he was probably wasting so much of the philosopher's stone just passively healing the million blisters on his feet from running around in these things. there's a chance Bradley is wearing the military uniform shoes but I think he was in more formal dress when he got blown the fuck up, so I don't think so. no wonder he complains about being sore, quit running around in dress shoes you fucking moron. 4/10.

Greed

THESE FUCKING THIIIIIIIINGS. WHY ARE THEY POINTY AT THE END. WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE SOMEONE HIT HIS FOOT WITH A MALLET AND FLATTENED THEM. he's so dumb. I love him. looking at these things tells me he would probably wear goth cowboy boots if he could, and tbh that would probably look better. 3/10 for Greed's overall silly as hell fashion sense

Lust

okay. the heels make sense considering her whole vibe. however. these are part of her fucking BODY. when she gets incinerated, they grow back. can she even take them off???? I'm scared to ask. I guess if theyre part of her body, she doesn't have to worry about adjusting to balancing in them like you would normally with heels, but oh my god. she can never wear normal shoes. I would also be murderous if I had to wear heels all the time. 4/10.

Father and Izumi

guys. these are sandals. it has been four hundred years and Father is still wearing the same outfit he was wearing in the damn desert. find a new outfit man. Izumi is apparently wearing bathroom slippers (hence the WC) so idk why she's even wearing those out of the house. Father gets 0/10 and Izumi gets 1/10 because she still manages to kick everyone's asses while wearing these, so respect

Envy

PUT YOUR FUCKING TOES AWAY. -10000000/10

[randomheros]

Sonic movie 3 spoilers (again, cause I got more to say)

I love that this movie just immediately goes to the prison break. Like this movie really said "we know your here for him, we're not gonna make you wait." XD

The entire break out scene is so good. The lighting, the stasis tube thing is cool, the animation of Shadows little sleepy twitches. The subtle build up to the fact he's waking up (cause if he's twitching, that means he'd be in REM sleep, a stasis should be deeper, right?) The heart monitor alerting the guards to him waking up. Then there's the scene of him leaving the island, where he races across the water, and maybe I'm just imagining it, but I SWEAR you can see a learning curve in his initial animation. Like it looks like he takes a moment to figure out how to race across the water, which makes sense cause he's never done that before. It's some subtle but good animation and I appreciate it.

I love that he isn't immediately on a revenge spree, he's just kind of unsure what to do with himself. Like he hates GUN certainly, but like, yeah, he should. I wouldn't advise someone to trust the people that attacked his home and killed his best friend. Dude has every right to be defensive, and it was FULLY GUN's idea to attack him in a highly populated area.

I like that Shadow wasn't really too intent on harming Sonic and the gang, he was mostly trying to avoid and prevent them from following. I also like Shadow not being really cocky and arrogant, cause frankly I'm not sure that ever fit his backstory.

I like that it was Gerald who put the revenge idea in his head-annnnd as I say that, I understand that it was a way of doing the memory alter thing but in a less complicated way. NICE. I love the little haunted house moment in mountain base, loved seeing ma boi Casper. XD

I love Super Sonic's fight with Shadow. I love love LOVE Shadow's super form being more white gold, I'm sure that's not new, but he's real pretty. XD It's also really funny cause like...he has no idea what's going on but just goes with it. He has no idea what the chaos emeralds are, has no idea why Sonic is gold now, no idea why he's now gold, but is still unfazed. He is the epitome of the John Mulaney bit; "This might as well happen today."

I love that Shadow just kind of wants Sonic to kill him. Some good character writing. He wants justice/revenge for Maria, but he also just wants the pain to end. He just wants it all to go away.

tHE LIVE AND LEARN MOMENT WAS GREAT. NO NOTES. JUST PERFECTION. (The little genuine smile Shadow gets is so nice. Oh my god. It was hype)

HE TOOK OF THE POWER CUFFS! IT WAS NEVER STATED, THEY JUST FULLY TRUSTED THE FANS TO UNDERSTAND(at least...i don't recall the power cuffs ever being explained in the movie...)

While part of me misses the whole "Gerald made Shadow to cure Maria" thing, it doesn't really take away from the movie, and it does make it easier to do a Black Arms story line in the future, if they wanted to. Like they left that door WIDE open.

I think the only thing in this movie that I wasn't sure I liked was Gerald...we didn't really get any scenes of him before the 50 year imprisonment, so I kept having to remind myself that he likely wasn't this weird 50 years ago. But I also know they had to make him weird cause it's fucking Jim Carrey. XD Regardless, I think it ever so slightly took away from the emotional impact of the Eclipse canon scheme, cause I can't take him seriously for even a second. I'm also not sure how I feel about Keanu Reeves voice acting...like, he suits Shadow, but ...sometimes it feels like it's lacking some emotion. But maybe that's just the intended direction? Idk, I'll have to watch it a second time before I can really make a judgment. Maybe I'm just not used to it. XD Regardless, it would be the fans fault and not Sega cause yall asked for Reeves XD

I CALLED THE END CREDIT SCENE! I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE METAL SONIC! Eggman has had that quill thing forever, it's been established that his quills can power things, it only makes sense for Metal Sonic to appear.

I did not suspect MANY metal sonics however, or AMY!?! YOOOO??? Never have I been so hyped to see Amy XD

I had a blast at this movie X3

[were-wolverine]

percy jackson ep2 live reaction

annabeth being a little creep i love her

fun fact i learned at the pjo NYCC panel: the most grueling part of the show production was making the camp half-blood shirts. they all had to be a specific shade of orange and there had to be a LOT cuz all the campers wear them consistently

very much angsty tween energy

ITS SOOO PRETTYYYYYYYYYY

i love the big house’s design

grover’s little *clop clop clop* hehe

“your highness” book!percy wouldn’t be caught dead saying that shit but it’s still funny cuz i KNOW as soon as he learns more abt the gods all that respect is out the window. book!percy is just a little asshole from the start

Mr D is fucking perfect casting

godDAMN chiron is tall asf

also i fr did not know brunner was pronounced like that

mr d actually being kinda nice to grover??

ITS SO COOL I WANNA GO TO CAMP THERE

riptide my bbg

i need a close up of the inside and outside of all the cabins immediately

Hermes cabin 💪💪💪

there’s a fire pit IN the cabin?? that seems like a hazard. but also magic and it’s fucking cool so

the complete non-reaction to percy’s introduction now vs how people will eventually react to hearing his name is kinda wild

they really did not give this poor boy any time to grieve his mom huh

LUKE

poor percy, his first reaction to being approached is to be defensive :(

CHB necklace!!!!

o shit that scared me. hello wood nymph. is this his mom??? idk how satyrs are born

the tiger shirt 💀

LIKE AN OLD BANANA HGHDGDGDGD

grover :( ur a good friend bb

dream time woooooo. OH THE VOICE IS KRONOS i forgor

“glory” ok nerd

luke really has a whole posse following him around lmao

IS THAT THE LESBIAN FLAG ON CLARISSE’S NECKLACE???

nvm they all have them in that order….

i love that percy has just had that leather necklace from the very start of the show. in preparation for the camp beads :,)

aaaaaaaa a character in a wheelchair that’s so cool!!!!!

no one’s even gonna show him how to use the bow???

this boy is gonna destroy the camp i love him

BRO DID NOT GET THE JOKE AND I FEEL SO SEEN. YES THERES A GREEK GOD OF DISAPPOINTMENT

oh my god i’m gonna cry. percy praying to sally is my favorite change they made in the whole show

“like, real friends” crying luke how dare you betray this sweet darling boy

YOU TELL HIM PERCY!! get his ass

“hey guys! 😃 🤚 can’t sleep huh?” ilysm percy

“do you think you’re special?” oh boy clarisse do you have a big surprise coming. also percy didn’t even tell anyone abt the minotaur that was grover

okay i liked this cgi way better than nancy bobofit’s takedown

annabeth stalker behavior i love you. SHE ADMITS IT TOO I LOVE HERRRE

“annabeth sees the world differently” yeah she’s autistic with a genius iq

sobbing. “she’s my little sister”. pain. the betrayal is gonna hurt so much more

th-alia ??? hm

“until zeus broke the pact” hades, hiding his kids from the 1940s in the lotus hotel: yeah zeus was the one to break it first, obviously

i can’t wait to see who they cast as thalia

“let it rip” i see what you did there 👀 my mind went right to beyblade tho lol

their shields lowkey look like the nightwing symbol :3

SUNSHINE ADDSHFJFHDG

god this set is so fucking cool

cringefail loserboy rizz

THE HAT!!!!!!!!!!!

“he’ll be ready, i know it” *cuts to percy flossing* i love this dumbass so much

lizard :D

exceptional depiction of adhd ty rick

bro really just gave away the location of the flag with no hesitation lol

OH SHIT THAT WAS COOL! the roll into picking up the shield? smooth asf!!!

how tf did the spear even break isn’t it made of like magic metal

she really used him as bait lmao. *pushes him into the water* she’s just testing a hypothesis!!

holy shit the cabin is so cool. kinda spooky tho. i hate to say it but i like the movie version better

“what 😃”

damn they really just blame everything on hades huh. poor guy. i’d hate my siblings too if they gave me a shitty job and made me the scapegoat for a bunch of stuff

why tf is chiron wearing a suit. why.

“i’m sally jackson’s son” YES YOU ARE KING

grover you’re the best ily. chiron you’re giving way too much dumbledore energy i hate it

[oolathurman]

whenever i get super restless i start looking at housing options in my area. don't ask why, i don't have an answer. but. please look at this place with me.

3 bed, 2 bath, 1080 square feet, with a 2 car garage, for $500k in Los Angeles. Don't know how nice the actual neighborhood is tho. Anyways.

the front entry/living room. grimy as hell. i'm not necessarily seeing any cracks which could mean poor foundation and given how ugly this house is, built in 1976, i feel like any bad foundation issues may've shown themselves via cracks by now? idk tho. i just watch a lot of flipping shows, what do i know?

that said, the interior pix remind me of that video of someone picking up a piece of uranium and the radiation doing funny things to their phone's camera. so. a little concerning there.

my fav part tho? the kitchen.

in all its neon green/yellow glory.

unsure if the wall where the stove would be is showing cracks or smth else tbh. the ceiling's kinda hilarious with the tray ceiling and two (count em, two!) recessed lights. Also i doubt that even a good DIYer would have trouble trying to salvage those cabinets, looks like they don't close properly. and where the hell would i put a fridge or dishwasher? before the little half wall that separates the kitchen area, but after the neon green indicates the start of the room? i guess those lil half walls can be torn down tho since they're not supporting anything, so maybe that'd work? could put a dining table in front of that window at least, if that's the case.

the previous residents must've gotten a good deal on paint or smth cut it's everywhere. guess they had no more money after putting down what looks like. vinyl wood-look floors? no idea what this room is tho, i assume a bedroom but the gieger counter screaming in pain is making it hard to tell.

i guess it's technically???? zoned for a bedroom? but i thought a closet's supposed to have a door or smth? idk shit about cali zoning laws tho. i guess you could put some sliding doors over this tho. still can't tell if that flooring is vinyl or actually like. parquet. or both. probably both. you see that light that's falling off the ceiling? and is that a mirror above the closet???

what is up with the perspective in these photos, they make the ceiling look like it's--- wait no it's actually at an angle, oh ok that's. god these photos are sure something. same with the paint. also i think this is AT LEAST the third kind of flooring we've seen, after the tile and the parquet. unknown if the first bedroom is a different-- wait no. this is four different kinds of flooring. in one house. what bargain bin leftovers did these people find....

continuation of what i can only assume is the primary/master suite. y'all see the pain chipping at the bottom left of that wall? i can't tell if it's water damage or just paint or-- what the fuck is up with the real estate agent's phone camera. anyone who buys this place is going to need to get the place tested for chemicals or some shit. also what the fuck is up with the framing of the closet? why's it all separated???

oh and i didn't show yall the garage earlier!

were they trying to put some kinda flooring down? it isn't clear. what's up with that wall on the right of the image tho???

i'm guessing it may have been an unpermitted or a former room in the house? with what looks like tile and with the window being so high up, was it some kinda bathroom???? what's going on here???

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

Bon appétit for Part 1, you awful people. I've gone hardcore heavy for Zabel and this happened. Can we call ourselves Zabelles? Idk. I'm tired and sad that Colin is fictional. Goodnight tweam <3 ~ Belgianon

Being freshly moved-in to the house I’d bought with Colin was magical. The months we’d spent on paperwork, me handling the lion’s share since I wasn’t a police detective handling gnarly shit, felt like hurdles that were worth it to be here, finally. Both of us had put our stamp on the place, and seeing everything together in a delicate dance mirrored our relationship: Colin’s greys and blues with my little pops of colour here and there; his simplicity and craving for sleek corners, and my ornamental additions of vases, photos, and the odd Pixar trinket I’d slid in there quietly… it was heaven.

It also coincided with our six-year anniversary, and since we’d taken a huge step, I wanted to really show Colin how much I fucking loved him.

Are you home at the normal time tonight? X

Sure am, darling x

Oh, good x see you later ;)

I hopped in the shower, de-fuzzing every bit of myself I could reach (except for just a little bit where it mattered – I learned the hard way that a: I can’t take the pain of a Brazilian, and b: I can’t take the pain of the fuzz burn after said Brazilian, as much as Colin had enjoyed himself). Afterwards, I slathered myself in shea butter, put on a very slinky little bit of lace I’d bought to christen our new house in, and then covered it up with Colin’s police bomber jacket, and a pair of calf-length black socks. I would have gone full boots, but that would have been difficult to get off. Plus, the carpets were cream and brand new.

The pièce de résistance of my little outfit was in the safe in our shared office space. I punched in the combination and took out Colin’s handgun, removing all of the bullets immediately. Handguns made me feel just a little bit spicy… and I’d once read a spicy book about a lady with a gun kink, and I really wanted Colin to maybe try it out… he’d probably freak out, but no bullets… I fired the gun a couple of times to make sure there really was nothing in there, and then put the safety on out of habit. I also picked up his old police badge, and put it around my neck. God, it was sexy – even if I didn’t quite do sexy police detective as well as Colin did, it still had me almost dripping already.

Right on cue, the door downstairs opened, and Colin’s telltale routine of shoes off, coat off, keys in the pot, door locked, and “Honey, I’m home!” sounded. I grinned, moving to the bedroom where I sat on the armchair that faced the door. I played with a couple of positions: legs on the arms, legs crossed, one leg up… that was the one. One leg draped over the arm, the other sat normally, the gun against my thigh, Colin’s badge resting just a touch lower than my breasts… I was turning my damned self on.

Colin padded along the hallway.

“Sweetie?” he called. He stepped into the bedroom and turned on the light. And choked. “F-fuck.”

“Evening, detective,” I murmured, stroking the gun along my bare thigh.

“That’s government-issued property,” Colin muttered, running a hand through perfect hair. I lifted the gun. “I could arrest you for misuse…”

“Is that a promise, detective?” As dirty as it felt, I aimed the gun at him. A little trickle of fear ran down his spine, and I saw the bob of his throat as he swallowed. But then, he spied the lack of magazine, and smirked. Holding his hands up a touch, he stepped into the bedroom fully. “Or are you going to make me wait here all night long?”

“Depends,” Colin replied, pushing his hands into his pockets. Dominant… just what I really wanted. “The only crime you’re committing right now is the way you’re holding my gun.”

“This old thing?” I brought the barrel to my lips and almost kissed it. Colin’s bottom lip wobbled. I stood, moving to him.

“My jacket, too… you are being bad today, huh?” He traced the lapel of the bomber, fingers moving to my chest. “The fuck did I do to deserve you, hmm?”

I didn’t see him pull out the handcuffs he obviously kept on him for obvious reasons, but in one very sexy, very gorgeous, very fluid movement, he turned me around and cuffed one wrist to the foot of the bed, his mouth claiming mine in a kiss that both crushed me and left me desperate for more. And when he did step back, I tried to grab his suit jacket, but he was too fast.

“Colin! Please, baby, come back – you can take it all off me…”

“Who says I want to?” Colin said matter-of-factly, as though he wasn’t straining real fucking hard against the front of his trousers. He removed his jacket, and his tie, which he wrapped around one gorgeous, veined hand. “And who says I want to hear your bad little mouth talk, hmm?” He turned back to me, tracing my lips with his thumb. “Or maybe I don’t want you to be able to see what I’m going to do to you… my little felon.”

“You could choke me with it,” I replied, looking up at him. “But then, what will those hands do, hmm?” Colin chuckled, shaking his head. He kissed me again, crawling over me. He undid his trousers, watching me for a second. He traced the gold metal of his badge which was still around my throat.

“Impersonating an officer, too… the list really is endless with you tonight, isn’t it?”

Before I could reply, Colin attacked my skin, peppering little bites all over my chest, down to my stomach, peeling the thin lace from my ass so slowly, I nearly kicked him in the head to get him to go faster. I didn’t need to worry, though, because as soon as my ass was bare, he had his mouth on me, his tongue relentless as he pushed me towards a peak I didn’t realise I was already so close to. Colin slipped two fingers into me, and it was enough to send me crashing into my first orgasm of the night. Colin picked up the gun, my juices still on his fingers. He held it perfectly, those gorgeous fingers resting just so. With the dark look in his eye, he could have been a mob boss. An enforcer. The little smirk that pulled at his lip nearly made me come a second time.

“This shit turns you on?” I couldn’t reply.  I knew what I wanted him to do with it, but I didn’t really know how to vocalise it without sounding completely psychotic. He dropped the gun and shed his shirt, picking it back up as he crawled over me. He traced it along my bare skin, the cold metal making me shudder. “Six years together and there’s so much I don’t know about you…”

“C-Colin –“ I arched my back against him. “This was m-meant to be your surprise –“

“Mmm,” he murmured, pushing the gun against my temple. “And it is a surprise… Six years and you still find new ways to make me want to destroy you…”

Coming from a man who’d been practically landlord off-white the first time we’d had sex, this turned on the jet streams. I shivered. He grinned.

“Get a fucking move on then,” I breathed, my voice barely working. I hadn’t seen him do it, but the bastard had managed to shuffle his trousers down, so when he slid into me right to the fucking hilt, I wasn’t ready, and the noise I made confused the life out of me. Colin started his assault, the gun still in his hand as he pushed up and looked down at me, giving me a view of a muscular chest that I couldn’t touch because I was cuffed on one side. But the rhythm he set was punishing and relentless, and I could barely keep control of anything at all. He ran a hand through his hair again, pulling it from its usual style, returning his gaze on mine.

“Eyes open, baby girl,” he murmured. “I wanna see you fall apart…”

I felt a sense of beautiful panicked ecstasy start to build up in my abdomen again, the gun’s metal again by my head. It felt dangerous, and Colin looked dangerous as he dipped his head, maintaining the rhythm he’d set, the sounds absolutely deliciously sinful. Before I could fully comprehend, I saw stars, and my body snapped so much that I left the bed for a second. Colin must have come at the same time, because I felt his teeth against my chest, followed by a delicate series of kisses that trailed upwards this time, covering my jaw, and finally my lips. Soft, chaste kisses that were his come-down.

“I love you,” I breathed. “I love you so much.”

“I love you more, darling,” he murmured.

After a quick shower together, we ate some dinner and curled up on the sofa. Colin fell asleep, of course, and so when his phone vibrated softly beside him, I answered it, thinking it might be important. But it was my phone, actually, and a number I didn’t recognise.

If you want to know what Colin really gets up to when he’s on those stakeouts, come meet me at Castle Green tomorrow morning at 10am. I’ll approach you. Don’t reply to this number. It’ll get us both into trouble.

I frowned. My heart started to race as I read the text again. I was about to wake up Colin, but a second text came through.

And don’t tell Colin. He’s in deep shit and if he knows, he’ll follow you and you’ll both be dead.

My heart went into overdrive. What the fuck had my wonderful man gotten himself into?!

tweam, we have MORE 👁️🫦👁️

[lootkey]

Now first listen of the Anthology tracks!

Overall thoughts: I probably won’t come back to these as much? But, I am very much a more full production girl so those who like the guitar centric and piano ballad songs are going to love these. The one outlier here is “imgonnagetyouback” not sure why tf that’s in here and not on the main album bc it doesn’t match the rest of the anthology tracks but it may be my favorite on the album as a whole idk

Fave 3

imgonnagetyouback

So Highschool

The Prophecy

Best 3

Cassandra

The Bolter

The Manuscript

The Black Dog

Oh we are sad again. Oh wait are we sad? The beat is picking up? OH SCREAMING oh back down? This production is throwing me but I get that it is intentional lmao. “Play him” actor shade. I think this song is what we all expected for this album. Also “esoteric joke”? Part of me wants to believe she wanted to write “making fun of me with an esoteric bloke” but I (like Taylor) am delusional sometimes. Sell my house 🥺 8/10

imgonnagetyouback

This production screams The 1975 at the beginning. Yes girl, know you’re hot! OH MY GOD THIS CHORUS. The classic “get you back” entendre. “I’m an Aston Martin”???? OMG. Loving the synths in this. This song was made for me and me alone. HOLY FUCK. we stan Jack Antonoff in this house. 100/10

The Albatross

The plucky type strings in the back are nice. I think this one is going to have to grow on me? It isn’t resonating with me on this first listen. Again Taylor Swift and threatening men, I love to see it. 6/10

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

First of all this song title is ridiculous. Saw me with someone who looked like they would bully you in school? LMAO. Did she just say “needed drugs more”??? Oh my god? Oh this one is hurtful? She changed to do anything for him and the way to break her heart is to say “I loved you as you were” … as a people pleaser I am sobbing on the floor. 7/10

How Did It End?

I’m going to need to research these lyrics more but this is interesting since it seems to be critical and self aware of how the public devours her pain. Also, this song must be a favorite of hers because all good chunk of the lyrics we got as part of the rollout are in this songs. D-Y-I-N-G????? Oh girl. The pen is penning here. 8/10

So High School

Not the Spotify vertical video being football lights, girl you are not subtle. Also this production sounds like something but I can’t place it??? Honestly this and 3am by Halsey are in the same genre. STIFLE YOUR SIGHS?!?! yes ma’am!!! You know ball, I know Aristotle??? You know who you wanted and you got her??? OH MY GOD. I do wish the production was a little quieter? But overall I like this!! 8/10

I Hate It Here

Sister song of the Lakes? She does love the word precocious doesn’t she. I wonder where the here is? 1830s but without the racists???? Girl what??? This song also would have done numbers on 2014-2015 with girls stuck in midwestern small towns. I can tell this is one is going to grow on me 7/10

thanK you aIMee

Bronze spray tan statue????? Oh my god we are coming out swinging out the gate. The definition of the bad times make us better. Yeah FUCK YOU AIMEE with the happiest fucking guitar in the background lmao. Oh mama swift!! WISHING SHE WAS DEAD?!?! Oh fucking get her Taylor lmao 8/10

I Look in People’s Windows

The slight echoing on her voice is interesting. Also you can tell Aaron Desner is all over these tracks. Taylor is in her peeping Tom era now. Like I’m so deranged weirdo? yeah that’s going to become a viral tiktok audio at some point lol 6/10

The Prophecy

Oh her delivery is in that cadence that scratches my brain again!!!! Oh the yearning is so painful here. Wanting so badly to be someone’s first pick, wanting to be loved so badly. Going directly to the pain. playlist oh my god 9/10

Cassandra

The backing piano reminds me of something but I can’t tell. BURN THE BITCH????? Oh my GOD. Cell with snakes??? The imagery of this is so fucking good. This is also shots towards Kimye. I’m glad we got this retrospective type song vs songs on rep right after it happened. I almost wonder if it’s coming up again because she wonders how much of the fake phone call caused her heartache? Like would she have ever been with Joe and had to go through all this pain if they hadn’t faked that call and she went into hiding?? 10/10

Peter

Vaguely champagne problem chords??? Okay English major!! Not one of my favorites? Not sure honestly because there’s times where I love her voice but piano ballads are never really my jam anyway? So this may just not be for me! 6/10

The Bolter

Singer songwriter vibes!! Honestly is it wrong that I could see someone like Zach Bryan doing really well on this? The vibe of this is so good! 9/10

Robin

Strings tied to lovers? Invisible String?? Way to go tiger?? Huh?? Again another piano ballad at 30/31 songs is a struggle for me to personally get through 5/10

The Manuscript

The reverb (?) on these piano notes!! Oh it’s retrospective 🥺 sex is half as good????? Strollers?!?!? Oh lord have mercy. 30? Oh so this is not about recent events. OH FUCK THIS IS ABOUT JOHN OR JAKE. Oh younger Taylor 🥺 story isn’t mine anymore?? Is this about All Too Well ??? 10/10

[b0mblover]

It’ll be Okay in the End

By: J

cw; selfharm, generally negative thoughts, blood (etc everything that comes with sh)

lopt essentially has a silent breakdown and mason comforts him or smth idk im not good at summeries,

[Note; this was wrote out of my own desperation for comfort, not romanizing sh, i do not encourage or believe anyone should do this to themselves, seek help.]

i uh, actually had a easier time writing this than most things, probably because ive been essentially replaying this whole scene in my head for literal years! i for once wasnt upset when i wrote this, i was very tired tho! uh i have alot more to say but hawaii part ii lopt is taking over my brain again, so im gonna go do that! have fun with my depressed 100% projected loptson ig!

•

lopt was in ‘his’ so called room, scribbling away at some paper,

mason was rather concerned, hearing frustrated noises constantly, what sounded like pencils breaking,

they had been “partners” officially for 3 months now, mason had always cared about lopt to an extent, partner or not, but this was… odd.

sure lopt had his own life, hobbies, but he didnt care to keep /that/ much from mason, especially whenever he asked,

but, this was different.

lopt had came home from wherever the fuck he was- hell if mason knew details- annoyed, he stormed off to some room, when mason tried to ask what was wrong he only blew him off saying that “its none of your fucking business, you wouldnt get it anyways”

•

lopt was scribbling away in his notepad, despite being a god and literally being immortal, he still couldnt force creativity to come to him,

it was his fifth time trying,

most drawings resulted in poorly scribbled out lines,

he had went out to try and get inspiration for “some project” though he didnt really /have/ anything to work on, starting a new drawing always seemed to be a block for him,

he sat down his broken (6b) pencil, (rather violently but he didnt want to acknowledge that) and got up, he knew somewhere in him, that he needed a break, he walked out of his room to get water, but his mind wouldnt leave him alone,

constant thoughts about how awful his art was spewed around

“youre not “talented”, youre worthless”

“itd be better to quit now”

“just rip up the damn papers, theyre ugly anyways”

“imagine- you could just go and alleviate all this pain, just with that knife-“

he tried to push down his thoughts,

grabbing a cup from the cabinet and filling it with water,

the knives in the butcher block seemed so… tempting,

most of him /knew/ that he shouldnt- that it was wrong, that mason would be disappointed- disgusted, if he found out about his thoughts,

but, he couldnt help it,

all memories of the nights he got up from their bed to take part in something that would disgust his partner made him sick.

questions runned through his head as he sipped on his water, leaning onto the counter

“would he be sad?”

“would he care?”

“would he call me names?”

“tell me how pathetic i am?”

“leave me?”

“would he hate me?”

“tell me how ugly my body is”

“tell me how he hates the scars”

“tell me just how much he despises me”

the voices grew louder wither every question,

saying that he wanted mason to hate him,

that he did hate him,

in the very back of lopts mind, in the tiniest corner, he knew it all wasnt true, that he was being dramatic over nothing,

but even then, the memories of all the times he loved someone- all the times he didnt question if they hated him, what they all said to him,

he felt like doubting himself was the only way to have them not leave,

to not abandon him,

he took a deep breath before sighing, realizing his cup was empty, he decided that he had enough of a “break” and that he needed to start “working” again,

•

mason was sitting on the couch, some random tv show playing for background noise, when lopt wasnt “there” it was almost too quiet, in a way, mason had grown to love how loud and chaotic the house was with lopt- even if thery were the only two people in it.

he seen lopt walk into the kitchen for around 8~ minutes before he trudged his way into his room once more,

he didnt know excatly as to what lopt was doing,

granted whatever it was had to have been important, he didnt usually spend 3+ hours in a room alone silently, it started to make him worry, was lopt sick? just why did he seem so upset when he came home? is he okay? did he hurt himself?

•

lopt sat down at his desk once more, staring at the scribbled page, a sphere, he couldnt figure out how to shade it properly on the background,

he sighed turning his attention to the top left drawer,

he stood up walking over to his dresser, pulling out another drawer, he took out a roll of bandages, and some tissues, 

he knew that he shouldnt, that it was essentially pointless, that hed feel better soon enough,

but that fear crept back up,

“what about last time you didnt? remember? it got only worse because you didnt”

he rubbed the sides of his nose bridge, the voices were annoying, they knew that he was gonna, even without the encouragement.

he sat back down at his desk, sitting the tissues to his right and the badages to his left before pulling out the left hand drawer,

he rummaged through it, various miscellaneous items, before coming across a box,

a red box, seemingly quiet old, with yellow letters reading “do it” on the front,

he took one out, ‘unwrapping’ the razor blade,

straight edge,

he stared at it, contemplating just what hes doing with his life,

“i cant draw, i cant write, i cant make people happy, i cant make music, i can only recite the tales others have told, im worthless, im doless, i will never amount to anything or anyone in my life, god or not, human or not, this is deserved, if i cannot create, then i at lease deserve to bleed”

a mantra he told himself, attempting to poorly justify his actions,

•

mason listened at the door, hearing nothing, no pencil, no walking, almost no breathing, he didnt know everything about lopt, sure, but he knew that he didnt look well off, and what boyfriend would he be to his partner if he wasnt concerned?

they had an unspoken rule to always at least knock before walking into the others space, granted they had seen every part of each other, it was just a courtesy they had, 

though, something felt off,

mason felt as if he shouldnt knock, that lopt was hiding something,

all those sleepless nights where lopt comforted him abundantly, he had felt him get up, a few times he had caught lopt in the basement, he didnt know just what he was doing, he always hid something,

he didnt want to break any boundaries sure, thatd be rude and disrespectful, but, he had a weird feeling in his gut that it was for lopts own saftey,

“please forgive me for this” he muttered to himself,

sharply inhaling before opening the door,

simply greeted by lopts back.

•

lopt heard the door open, he had three lines going diagonally down his right arm, bleeding, he fumbled the razor, dropping it onto the floor, it had gotten rather dark by now, so it probably wouldnt be seen, he attempted to get the tissues, he had always been a great liar,

“ill just say i accidentally cut myself, if he asks what i was doing with a weapon, ill deflect and say i was being stupid”

it seems like he fumbled the tissues for a bit too long.

“hey”

mason said over his shoulder,

he moved his left hand to cover the cuts,

“o-oh, hey, whats wrong?”

“hm, well, i mean nothing? i guess, what are you doing?”

“i- you guess? is something the matter?”

mason had noticed he was oddly covering his forearm,

“you ignored my question.”

“huh?”

“i asked what youre doing.”

masons tone sounded alot more pissed off, granted he wasnt, just concered more than anything,

“o-oh i um, ok dont laugh but uh- i was trying to draw”

“and why are you covering your arm? are you hurt?”

“i- huh? wh- no, no! i uh, may have also been playing with a blade and accidentally scraped myself, nothing much”

“let me see”

“what?”

“let me see your injury”

lopt was taken aback, all of his previous partners never asked to see his wounds, scars sure but never his wounds, even if they werent self inflicted, he was shocked, he hadnt planned for this.

“i- i assure you dear, it isnt anything to worry about-“

“let me see it. are you hiding something?”

in that moment lopt felt small, like a child almost, weak, helpless, he didnt know how he could get out of this without mason either finding out or being suspicious of him.

“i- here”

lopt moved his left arm to mason, there were a few small cuts on it, though rather old looking,

lopt moved his right arm off the table, into the shadows to not call attention to it.

“uh huh, now the other?”

lopt seen his eternal life flash before his very eyes.

his mind went on autopilot and raised his right arm, he usually would fight but, he knew itd be pointless, mason would just worry more, thus making him keep a closer eye on lopt, he didnt want to feel selfish, not like that,

“oh my, i- oh my god,”

mason was shocked, he had suspected that lopt had hurt himself in the past, granted the scars,

but, he didnt think he still did it, sure the weird behavior, but it never really dawned on him until that moment.

.

mason had brought (more like dragged) lopt to the bathroom, running the slits under cool water, putting pressure to hopefully get the bleeding under control, he opened the cabinet under the sink and pulled out another roll of bandages,

he stood behind lopt washing the blood off, still slightly in shock,

“why?”

“huh?”

“why do you do this?”

masom questioned, fully aware of the long list lopt was about to give out,

“i- well, i dunno..”

lopts voice trailed off before starting again,

“i mean, i dont even know why i do this, it just feels good? like i can do something right? it makes me feel like im not worthless”

mason hummed for a second before choosing his words

“do you feel normally that youre worthless?”

“i guess so, i dont know why, i have the best boyfriend, my life is great, i just dont know..”

“mmhm, what were you trying to draw?”

“i dont know. does it matter?”

lopt shot back

“well, you seemed frustrated at it, so im sure it’s important to you yeah? so then it’s important to me”

mason brought his hands around lopts wrist, rubbing it slightly attempting to calm him down

“i- i dont know, i just, i feel frustrated, so i tried to draw, but drawing makes me feel more frustrated, so i did this- an- and n-now-“

lopt began to stutter, tears swelling up in his eyes, mason had only seen him cry on a few occasions,

“shh- shh its okay, i know what youre saying, breath, okay?”

lopt inhaled deeply, feeling masons left hand move to wipe the tears away,

he didnt even know why he was crying,

mason bandaged lopts arm slightly tight, 

“shh, now, you wanna talk about this? or wait a little bit longer to calm down?”

“c-calm down”

“alright alright, shh youre okay, see?”

mason lead lopt into his bedroom, taking lopts hand under the covers as he had done for him every sleepless night,

lopt could feel his eyelids starting to droop, the warmth of his boyfriend comforting him, the love of his boyfriend comforting him,

he shoved his head into masons chest, finding it to be the most comfortable spot out of the entire bed,

mason ruffled his hair, slowly stroking his hand on his neck,

“y’know, you may be a god,

and you may be immortal, but,

ill be with you for as long as you need, in this life and after”

lopt didnt respond, just slightly nodded his head before burrying it deeper into masons chest, 

maybe tonight wasnt so bad after all,

spending time with mason- no, his boyfriend, was never bad.

lopt faded in and out of sleep, trying to fight the melatonin being produced, just to feel the sweet touch of his boyfriends skin, before he completely felt himself drift away, he heard him speak,

“I love you, i love you so much, never forget that, in this life and the next, ill always love you, lopt.”

[vvanillavveins]

This one is such a cool idea, thank you for tagging me!! I am sorry this is so late- I had to actually sit & think about this for a good 2-3 days because damn it's difficult.

I had to talk through each one in order to work out an order, so i'm sorry for the incoming rambling if anyone reads this-

oh god oh fuck

1. The Vast, I think? - Open spaces? My own insignificance? Incomprehensible giant creatures?- Couldn't care less, actually, almost boring, in fact. Heights?- Love the adrenaline rush, can't get enough of them. However, my one & only life-long phobia is deep water. If you asked me what would be the worst possible thing that you could ever do to me, i'd say it'd be leaving me to tread water in the middle of the ocean. I can't even look at paintings of deep water without my pulse increasing. Those really cool little diorama things people make with the resin fake water? I stop being able to breathe when i look at them. No idea why. Phobias are just weird like that.

2. The Corruption - idk if its sensory issues or what but if i find bugs in my house i feel itchy and hot and start tearing at my skin and it's just awful.

3. The Eye - i don't like being watched. Being watched by The Eye means never truly being alone again & i need to be alone to keep sane.

4. The Desolation - on one hand, losing everything would be quite freeing. On the other hand, everyone around me being hurt isn't fair- if it's my fear then i should be the only one suffering.

5. The Extinction - like the Desolation, more depressing than scary. I think life in an apocalyptic wasteland would be way too monotonous for me though.

6. The Web - i can't handle change, so completely losing control of everything would not end well, lmao.

7. The Buried - i feel pretty neutral about all the physical manifestations of this one. It's the financial element that makes it stressful.

8. The Dark - eh, i've never been scared of the dark & i can't see very well in most light anyway. TMA is just really well written; it's the one of the only things that've made me understand why people fear the dark.

9. The End - again, no real strong feelings about this one. The lack of proper action is a bit tedious. But overall it just kinda feels comforting, in a way? I like the security/reliability of it. Also, i'm a massive coimetrophile.

10. The Hunt - i like adrenaline; i really love the feeling of being chased. Even if i logically understand that it's a matter of survival, some part of my brain still goes, "ooo what a fun ✨️game✨️", lmao.

11. The Slaughter - being chased is a game, so i'll run- but unless i am actually told to, running just doesn't naturally occur to me. Most of the time when i'm presented with an actual threat i skip past fear and go straight to anger. It's foolhardy, sure, but how dare anything have the audacity to think it can threaten me? I'm not saying I'd win a fight with a Slaughter avatar, but i would try. I think being a masochist helps.

12. The Spiral - less of a threat and more of just a continuation of my everyday life, i'm not sure what would change tbh. I do like liminal spaces, though, so that's a plus. Also, i feel like a Spiral avatar would be quite good company for a brain like mine- i could quite happily just chatter at them without having to over-explain & redefine everything.

13. The Flesh - gore & viscera are satisfying, and i honestly think i'd give anything for limitless body modification.

14. The Lonely - what makes the Lonely so appealing to me is how it isolates you; it either strands you in empty places or it replaces the people around you. If there's no one to reach out to, then you can't do anything to fix your loneliness. Never being able to form genuine connections with others is painful, but the Lonely would help get rid of the initial desire for connection. I think the Lonely would help me be much more at peace with myself.

15. The Stranger - i don't fear the Stranger because, ironically, it's the most familiar one. And i know for sure i could survive whatever it can throw at me; i already can't read faces or voices, i've already forgotten entire people like they were just deleted from my memory & i don't experience the uncanny valley effect- so it wouldn't get any fear from me anyway. Hell, in my lowest most paranoid moments, i've genuinely believed that my loved ones were replaced by shapeshifters. But i'm still here after all of that shit- so bring it on! Tbh, if i encountered the Stranger i'd probably ask to join it. It'd be nice if i could actually gain something from people's uneasiness around me. And the whole 'circus of the other' thing sounds like my childhood dreams come true, lmfao. 100% fuck yeah category material

fuck yeah

i ranked the tma fears from scariest to least scariest because i felt like it. no pressure but reblog with your rankings i wanna see!

oh god oh fuck

1. the corruption

2. the desolation

3. the hunt

4. the buried

5. the web

6. the extinction

7. the slaughter

8. the stranger

9. the dark

10. the flesh

11. the lonely

12. the eye

13. the end

14. the vast

15. the spiral

fuck yeah

tagging a couple of my moots if you wanna try :D

@encryptidarchivist @humanteethmarksonhumanbone @willdisappearintothelonely @styrofoamdoor @urnewsteppappa

[blueskittlesart]

please do write an essay about wanderer one day i would love to read it <3

i love you. he is so <3 (essay under the cut because im crazy)

scara/wanderer/whatever you want to call him is so interesting to me because like. out of the train wreck that was inazuma, he managed to be one of the only well-written characters. and he wasn't even on the playable roster for that nation. incredible. why was inazuma so bad

in a way, his character actually functions to draw attention to a lot of the problems i personally have with the way ei/raiden and inazuma are written, namely that ei sucks and never sees a single consequence for her actions or even like. tries to fix her mistakes in any tangible way. Scaramouche was her prototype puppet, meant to be a test run for the eventual figurehead for inazuma which would run on unchangeable ideals while ei fucked off to her mind palace forever. he was not actually used for this purpose because ei saw him CRY and decided he wasn't fit to rule a country, and instead of like... idk doing anything RATIONAL with him she was just like ok. i'll let him sleep forever i guess. surely he will not wake up and resent me for this and turn evil. anyway. obviously he wakes up and realizes why mama ei abandoned him. he of course does not take this well. he internalizes the idea that his emotions made him weak and useless from. basically the moment of his conception. his emotional response is the reason he wass essentially abandoned by his mother. (to be fair, it's unclear if ei was aware that he retained consciousness, but still. throwing him out like trash because he had EMOTIONS was fucked up). this sets the stage for the way his mental state deteriorates over the course of the next couple hundred years.

so the poor kid has been abandoned by his mother for feeling things. bad start. but another important piece of this story is that, as per ei's original design for a puppet figurehead of inazuma, scara was essentially built to house her gnosis (essentially the heart of an archon.) since he never actually got used for that purpose, though, he feels as though he is missing a fundamental part of himself. as he wanders inazuma, he feels that lack of a heart harder and harder as he attempts to connect to humans and finds that he can't quite connect with them. (this is what i think of as his 'trying to be human' era) He struggles with the idea of mortality--specifically, a child that he befriends dies prematurely, and scara can't help but view it as a betrayal--"how could he break his promise and leave me behind?" he becomes acutely aware of the fact that he is not quite human and not quite god, but something in between--something that lacks the ability to feel like a human but was too emotional to fulfil its purpose as a god.

mortality and emotional response, to scara, become signs of weakness. he was discarded due to his emotionalness. his human friends' mortality took them from him. he grows to despise and reject both, which kickstarts his 'trying to be a god era,' which is how we've seen him in-game thus far. the thing is, he doesn't REALLY want to be a god. he wants to be loved. he wants validation and respect and family--everything that was taken away from him when ei threw him out, and when his human friends abandoned him. he tried it one way, tried playing pretend as a human, and only found more pain and suffering, so he decides to swing hard in the other direction, developing a superiority complex as a cover-up for his insane abandonment issues. No one can hurt a god. no one can abandon a god. no one can call a god weak. a god doesn't need friends or family or love because a god is all-powerful. he is convinced that if only he can attain true godhood--a gnosis, the item he was created to house, he will FINALLY be happy. and he decides that it doesn't matter how many people he has to hurt to do it.

(btw, throughout this entire time, ei has been in her mind palace being a deadbeat mom and deliberately ignoring the havoc her son is wreaking on the nation SHE IS SUPPOSED TO BE RUNNING. he even sends a message of introduction to the raiden shogun at some point ("tell her my name is kunikuzushi") which i can only assume was meant to make it back to ei and maybe get her to CARE A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THE KID SHE BROKE but she either never recieved it because the raiden shogun sucks equally as hard as she does or she heard it and didn't care. ughhhh.)

anyway. obviously this little insane attempt at attaining godhood does not end well for scara. i cant rewatch that sumeru archon quest cutscene without losing all brain function but you know what i mean. he fucks up. his hubris is his downfall. his attempt to bury his emotions and his humanity in order to ascend to godhood give him far too much confidence, and he loses the battle. nahida takes the gnosis and then fucking immediately gives it back to dottore because she sucks. scara's final attempt at finding some sort of place for himself in the world fails spectacularly and leaves him mentally and physically destroyed.

and in 3.3 he is going to wake up and keep going. and i am so so so so excited. i want to know how he heals. I want to see him reconcile with his humanity and his emotions AND with his origins in godhood, and i think having nahida and the traveler help him do that is gonna be so good if they do it right. i LOVE that they're allowing him to still retain a lot of that selfishness and smugness and attitude that makes him compelling as a villain, while ALSO seemingly letting him reconnect with his humanity and become better. i do still hope he gets to beat the shit out of ei tho

[arminsleftnut]

hi i deleted the fucking ask on accident so:

@ikiraobsessed i’m SO sorry here’s your request, i hope this is what you wanted <3

CONTENT WARNING: dark content (minors if u interact i will call ur fucking parents), sacrilege, mentions of religion, implied yandere themes, yagami light x fem!reader, god complex & sadism (light being... himself), mentions of death/death of an older sister and reader’s parents (it’s light), toxic relationship, light is manipulative as fuck, kira worshipper reader, naïve/virgin reader, sub!reader, fear play, light is fucking insane, mishandling of virginity (idk how to explain that light is just a mistake), rough sex, oral (fem receiving), overstimulation, choking /breath play, reader does not have a safe word (be responsible kids), unprotected sex, breeding kink, god kink, overstimulation, masochism, praise

daphne — a beautiful nymph that caught the attention of the

god apollo, and could not escape him in the end.

the soft thrum of rain against the outside walls was, in many ways, bittersweet. the sound of rain was soothing, nurturing; it made you feel free, renewed, like a sapling unfurling from fresh, damp soil. but now? now it only reminded you that you were trapped. only a few walls separated you and the outside storm, yet it felt like a chasm— one you didn’t dare try to cross. there was no anchor for you anymore, no wings to spread nor roots to unfurl. you were bound here, to him.

the room you were in was dim, lit only by the hallway light and the occasional bright flash of lightning outside. it was an eerie sort of sight; it reminded you of the Catholic Church you had once attended with your parents, and then had gone there after, alone, to find answers for the death of your sister. you had pleaded on your knees, rosary in hand, begging to just understand.

your older sister was a saint. she’d never spoken a harsh word to anyone, not even you, even in the darkest pits of her anger. not even to your parents, who for all their regurgitated sermons on the kindness of god, seemed to have no answers for you when you asked why he’d taken your sister away. they hadn’t even cried. your father had attended confession one last time, and they had never gone back. you were left to search for answers alone. you found none, and you found no god in the empty pews or hollow statues of mary.

but you had found him here. in the dark bedroom within a pretty suburban home, you’d found god, and as he towered over you, his large form encasing you against the bed, you were terrified.

how could you not be? light was— something else entirely. he had offered you answers, and when he’d punished your parents for the crimes he knew they’d inevitably commit, he’d left you no room to question his power. he’d done so much for you, for the world, how could he be anything but a god?

you thought, perhaps, you ought to be on your knees before him; you’d knelt so readily when you’d first met him, it was strange that he hadn’t asked you to do so again. no, he had a different form of worship for you, he’d said. and as you lay there, trembling in the cage of his arms, a traitorous part of you wondered if he’d damned you instead.

“you’re shaking.” light’s observation was smooth, flippant, and there was a hint of a smile in his voice that made your insides twist; whether that was good or bad, you didn’t know. it did not feel kind, but gods never were, you supposed.

you opened your mouth, wishing you had an answer and all at once realizing it was likely for the best that you didn’t. there was no answer you could give him that wouldn’t hurt him. he had done so much for you, he was a hero, how could you tell him that you feared him still?

for better or worse, you did not have to speak at all. light’s hand was deceptively gentle when he wrapped it around your throat, his long fingers digging lightly into the sides of the fragile flesh; not hard enough to stop you from breathing, but still, you froze beneath him. he smiled, and it was both beautiful and terrifying.

“do you think I’d hurt you?” there was no malice in the question that you could hear, only what sounded like genuine curiosity. still, you didn’t move. you didn’t want to hurt him, anger him— his fingers tightened just so. “answer me.”

slowly, you nodded.

surprisingly, there was no hints of anger twisting his expression, no hurt contorting his lovely face. you realized you hadn’t upset him, and it was only then did your heart start beating again. you didn’t even notice that he was still grinning.

“oh, sweet girl,” he cooed, his thumb brushing the underside of your jaw in a tender gesture that made you tremble even more, “how could you think that? you’ve given me so much.”

you have. you’ve given him everything. your time, your mind, your heart. your body was all that was left, and as much as you didn’t want to be, you were petrified of giving him that as well.

but he didn’t take this time. he gave instead.

“this isn’t a punishment, love.” his words were gentle against your lips, and despite his reassurance, you weren’t sure what he was referring to— the way he was touching you, or the soulless bodies of your parents only a few houses down. they were deplorable, greedy, they were going to take you from him. “i don’t punish innocence. you know that. i reward it.”

you did know that; and when his head was between your legs, his tongue flattened against your swollen clit, it felt like a reward. he devoured you wholly, as he’d always done, and you adored it. he let you tangle your fingers in his hair, tugging him closer and holding him to your weeping cunt as you rocked desperately against his face. it was too much too much too much, and when he forced your legs back, gripping the soft flesh of your thighs hard enough to bruise as he forced you to cum on his tongue yet again , you didn’t dare complain— not even as tears pricked your eyes and your entire body trembled.

part of you still wondered, somewhere in the back of your hazed mind, if he actually did mean to punish you. the aching burn between your legs when he’d forced his cock inside you, pushing past any resistance with ease, it was too big, god it was too big, made you sure you must’ve displeased him somehow. but the groan that left him when he was fully seated inside you was nothing short of divine, reminding you of his promise. he wouldn’t hurt you, you reminded yourself through a haze of tears as he fucked into you, so this must not be pain.

it was your own cries that echoed throughout the room, shrieks and sharp squeals drowning out the rumble of thunder outside. he was unforgiving as he abused your pretty cunt, his mouth against your ear, spilling rough praises of how good you were, how proud he was of you, how well you were taking him, and his tongue caught each tear that fell down your cheek. he promised to give you everything, reward you with his children, because you’d given him so much, you deserved the privilege.

you could say nothing, only able to plead for something you couldn’t decipher as you came around him, your vision turning white as he followed soon after, emptying himself inside you, giving you everything he promised.

it was only when the daze lifted and you lay there, the stickiness of his cum trickling out of you and staining your inner thighs, that you realized he meant to keep you rooted here, immortalized in his image. a reward. a blessing.

you thought it might’ve been a curse instead.

[zodiakuroo]

Un(holy) Trinity

Pairing: Dabi x Fem!Reader x Shigaraki

Content: 18+ dubcon/noncon, threesome, manhandling, rough sex, corruption, degradation, humiliation, breathplay, stepcest, breeding, blasphemy and sacrilege, elements of mindbreak and god complex (?) 

Word count: 4.1k

Notes: my first threesome and idk how to feel about it but here it is! If it’s bad I can blame it on the fact that I just had my wisdom teeth extracted and am currently in a world of pain :) also i’m on bedrest and incredibly bored so if anyone has requests or thirsts or just wants to chat... yeah

also if this banner is shit i’m sorry i rushed and made it on my phone cause i just rly wanted to to post

This is part 2 to my other fic Love Thy Brother which you can read here 

Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?” - Genesis 3:1

Twelve days.

Twelve days since you lost your virginity.

Twelve days since you lost your virginity to your step-brother, no less. 

The night that it happened, you lay awake in your bed dreading the aftermath of the horrific incident. How could you face him again? How could you face your family? How could you face God? 

You were too cowardly to face the rest of your household. The Todoroki family welcomed you into their home only for you betray them by sleeping with Touya. Ever since you were little, your mother would say she had a sort of sixth sense that meant God would always tell her when you’d been up to mischief. It sounds silly but there was no explanation for how she would always catch out in lie or know things that you never told her. You feared she would take one look at you and know the sin you committed. And so you chose to make yourself scarce, taking extra shifts at work and choosing to study at the campus library rather than at home. Your siblings seemed to notice how busy you suddenly were, often remarking how they missed you around the house. That just made you feel more ashamed. 

As for God, you felt like you needed to do whatever necessary to prove your faith. You wanted Him to know the extent of your shame and remorse. You were weak in spirit, making you an easy target for someone as devious as Touya. You prayed and begged for forgiveness until your knees hurt but no matter what you did, the guilt was inescapable. You realized it was because, irrespective of the regret and remorse you felt, you couldn’t deny that you enjoyed what happened. You liked the way Dabi made you feel and you hated yourself for it. But no matter how much you liked it, something like that could never happen again. As penance, you banned yourself from bringing your hands anywhere near your groin. After all that temptation is what brought you to this point in the first place. But the thread of your self-control is thin and withered so at night when you’re certain everyone is asleep, you’re humping your pillow like an animal and biting down on your lip trying to keep from moaning his name. At least you weren’t touching right? 

Dabi, by some God-given miracle, made himself scarce as well. It wasn’t uncommon for the noirette to disappear for days at a time doing heaven knows what only to arrive back at home like nothing happened; so no one really questioned his absence. Perhaps he  felt the same way you did and was avoiding facing you and the other Todorokis.

Yeah right. 

Shame? Todoroki Touya doesn’t know the meaning of the word. 

In any case, you had become used to a Dabi-less house and so lulled into a false sense of safety, slowly but surely reverting back to normal. That’s why as you make your way downstairs, prepared to go to your church, the sound of gunfire and explosions from the living room doesn’t alarm you. Probably Natsuo or Shouto playing one of their video games, you thought. But when you get to the bottom of the stairs you’re met with unmistakable dark locks. Not just him. The back of another person’s head, one with pale blue, shoulder length hair. Before you can stop yourself, you let out a gasp. Neither of them react, seemingly too focused on their game. You don’t waste any time feeling relieved, choosing instead to make a silent escape. 

You could only dream of being so lucky. 

“Oi!” Your step-brother calls without turning around. He hasn’t seen you, you think. If you move quickly you can still get out of this. “I know you heard me, brat. Get over here before I drag you over here.” He still doesn’t bother to turn around but the sharpness in his tone lets you know that you’d be smart to listen. You take a second to steel your nerves and make your way over to the couch, trying your best to look as intimidating as possible. You scowl at both men but they are so engrossed in their video game, they don’t even acknowledge that you’re standing right there. “Aren’t you gonna say hi? We have company.” 

We?

The company in question is Shigaraki Tomura. He’s been to the house before although he’s never even so much as glanced in your direction, too busy with his phone or playing games with Dabi. Despite your hard expression you can only manage a meek “Hello Shigaraki.” 

He responds by finally looking at you, with a sleazy grin, a pair of crimson eyes, surrounded by creases meet your own. “Sup.” 

Beer cans litter the coffee table, one of them being turned into a makeshift ashtray while both have smouldering cigarettes perched between their lips. “You’re not supposed to smoke in the house.” 

“You’re not supposed to smoke in the house.” Dabi mocks you with a nasal voice. 

You simply roll your eyes, not interested in continuing this interaction any further.  “Whatever. I’m leaving now.” You state with as much firmness as you can muster. You spin on your heels but are kept in place by long, slender digits wrapped around your wrist. 

“Where are you off to anyways?” The game paused, both boys now looking at you. 

Out of habit, you answer truthfully. “Bible study.” 

Shigaraki and Dabi burst into raucous laughter. 

You should have lied. 

“Nah you’re gonna hang out with me and Shigaraki for a bit.” 

“Dabi, I have to leave.”

“You don’t have to do anything except what I tell you and I’m telling you to sit.” 

Before you can protest you’re being hauled on to the couch, squeezed between the two of them. 

“Nice necklace.” Tomura snorts, hand reaching out to grab at your crucifix but you swat it away. His gaze is unnerving. It makes you wonder if- no. He promised he wouldn’t. 

Just like that, their game is resumed, as if you were never there. A few rounds pass, no words exchanged between either of them, only curses muttered under their breath. “Dabi, can I please go. I’m bored.” 

Wrong choice of words. 

“You hear that Tomura? The princess is bored.” His fingers are still moving rapidly over his controller. 

“Really now? Come on then Todoroki, let’s show her a good time. I’ve seen how she likes to have fun.” 

His comment on your necklace suddenly makes sense, but you still can’t believe it. “You didn’t…” you whip your head back to look at Dabi. 

”Sorry doll, you made your Nii-san so proud, I just had to show you off.” Dabi smiles shamelessly, lighting himself another cigarette. 

“You’re fucking sick Touya.” Tomura says, however his tone is not one of disgust but rather of admiration. 

“You promised...” Your voice breaks. You’re humiliated beyond belief. 

Both of them laugh at you again, discarding their controllers. “Told you, it’s adorable how stupid she is.” Dabi remarks to his friend, as if you’re not sitting right next to them. 

You try to force your way off the couch but get pulled into Dabi’s lap, one of his arms hooking around both of yours, securing them behind your back. You squirm in his arms but he stills you with a hard slap on your inner thigh. “Be good okay? Don’t embarrass me.” He nuzzles into your neck. 

Shigaraki flips up your dress exposing your white lace panties. He runs his thumb up and down your clothed slit, he fabric slowly becoming even more transparent. One severe jerk to the top of your dress and the straps are torn clean off, revealing the matching bra. “Yo, Touya. I thought she was a good girl.”

Dabi peers over your shoulder to get look. “Who’s all this for babe? You screwing the preacher or something? Or were you hoping I’d do something like this?” He tugs down your bra until your breasts are spilling over the top of it.

“Dabi…” Your choke on your plea when he sinks his teeth into your neck. He bites down so hard you’re positive he’s left a mark.

“Who?” 

“T-Touya-nii.” You whimper. 

“Better.” 

Your destroyed dress is discarded somewhere across the room and you find yourself on your hands and knees with Shigaraki kneeling on the couch in front of you and Dabi behind you. 

“Go easy on her alright Tomura. It’s her first time sucking cock.” He chuckles. 

Your eyes go wide. “Wait...” you mewl but neither pay you any mind.

“And you.” Dabi yanks a fistful of your hair. “No teeth. No puke. Or I’ll let my boy ream your little ass as punishment.”

“Yeah. What he said.” Shigaraki mutters, pulling his semi out of his sweatpants, rubbing his tip against your lips. His is not as scary as your step-brother’s but him staring down at you like this, makes him seem every bit as intimidating. 

Pre-cum dribbles from the swollen tip. You’re not entirely sure you want that in your mouth but you’re also not sure if you have a choice so you open up hesitantly. 

Dabi’s right. It is your first time doing something like this. You don’t know what you’re supposed to do but as it turns out you don’t have to do much, not with the way Shigaraki starts thrusting his quickly hardening member into your mouth.

“Move your tongue slut.” The man in front of you grunts. You do your best despite the heavy intrusion to obey his command, moving from side to side, swirling around the head when he pulls out of your mouth. He looks down at you with cruel vermillion eyes, panting as he strokes himself in front of you, spreading your saliva across his shaft before sliding deep into your mouth again.

Behind you, Dabi spreads apart your cheeks, squeezing the flesh in his calloused hands. “Remember what I said. Be good and I’ll give you a reward.” He pulls your panties to the side and lets out a whistle at the sight of your dripping slit. “She’s enjoying it. Make her take it deeper.”

You can’t possibly fathom how much deeper he can go when his head is already nudging at your tonsils. You try to swallow the saliva building up in your mouth, making your cheeks hollow out around Shigaraki’s shaft. Seems like that was the right thing to do as his hand flies to the back of your head. “Shit. Shit. So good.”

Dabi’s breath wafts over your pussy. He spreads your lips apart and you feel his hot tongue lick up the juices leaking from your hole. You squeal around Tomura’s dick. You want to pull off but his spindly fingers hold your head in place.

“Told you angel. Good little sisters get rewards.” With that he takes your clit between his lips and suckles on it gently while one of his fingers circles your entrance. Knuckle by knuckle he slides into you, making you keen. You arch your back trying to shift your hips backwards against his hand, silently urging him to find that special spot he showed you last time. He establishes a loose rhythm. Hot wet muscle and cold metal of his piercing circles the sensitive bundle of nerves, before applying suction while his fingers work you open.

The sensation is overwhelming, a form of heavenly torture and your thighs quiver barely able to hold you up while you use your last bit of mental strength to focus on suppressing your gags. That mental strength all but evaporates when the digits inside you graze that rough patch embedded in your walls. It’s so pleasurable your reflex is to run from his fingers. Luckily for Shigaraki, that means you move forward, taking him further into your mouth.

“This where you want me? This your spot, angel?” Dabi taunts you. Shigaraki holds you in place while two of your step-brother’s fingers drill your cunt, hitting that spot over and over again. Garbled moans and cries leave your mouth and reverberate around Tomura’s cock, proving to be too much for him ultimately. 

“Shit Stop!” Don’t wanna come yet.” He pulls out your mouth so that a string of your drool drips down to your breasts.

“God! Touya-nii!” You sputter out.

“Still with the God shit?” He uses your hair to force you to look at him, neck twisted at an awkward, uncomfortable angle. “God ever make you feel this good?” His fingers thrust into you harder. Your whole body feels like it’s on fire.

“Ngghh-N-no –oh! Oh!” is your incoherent answer.

Dabi forces you back down, shoving you face first into the cushions. “See? Fuck him. Give up on god. Give up on everyone except your big brother cause no one else can make you feel this good.”

You’re so pathetic. The way you’re rocking yourself in unison with the motions of his hands. The way your tongue hangs out of your mouth, impeding any sort of intelligible verbal response. The way you’re mindlessly nodding along to whatever filth is coming out of Dabi’s mouth.

“C’mon Touya. Turn her around. Wanna try out that sweet pussy you’ve been bragging about.” You’re reminded that you aren’t alone. No, your brother’s best friend is right there to witness exactly how pathetic you are.

“Yeah in a minute. I’m still having my fun.” Dabi answers, face pressed against your mons before working you with his mouth once again.  

“Man! Come on!” Tomura whines.

 “I said in a minute.  Not my fault you can’t last.”

It’s amazing how they can bicker like this right now, as if you aren’t on your hands and knees for them, gummy walls still pulsing around his fingers. However, it’s not long before Dabi’s focus is back on you taking you to the brink of orgasm. He slows his fingers, keeping you balanced on that razor thin edge. “Should I make you cum angel?” His voice is dripping with fake concern. “Dunno… what’s in it for me?”

“Anything! Touya-nii please!”

“Anything? You gonna obey me? Do whatever I say like a good little angel? You gonna worship me?” You can’t tell if he’s being serious or if he’s mocking you.

Probably the latter. And you deserve it too.

Your faith was the thing you deemed more important than anything and anyone else but Dabi, all too easily, convinced you to disregard that. Made you lose all sense and give into lust by showing you mindblowing pleasure, only magnified by your awareness of how deeply sinful this all was. That’s the extent of the power he has over you. The story of Adam and Eve is one you know forwards and backwards and yet you were so easily tempted forbidden fruit and left completely corrupted.  Yeah, he’s definitely mocking you.

“Any- fuck- anything” You’re wiggling your ass, goading Dabi into finishing you off

“Cum in my mouth. Angel, give it to me” That’s the final straw. You explode around his fingers. Despite your walls, clamping around him, he manages to piston into you, hitting that squishy spot with astounding accuracy. His unyielding stimulation makes it feel as though the high won’t end. You’re not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

Eventually, it does end though, his fingers drag out against the pull of your swollen pussy. He licks you clean making sure he gets every last drop of your cum, both inside and out, on his tongue. The ball of his piercing catches onto your rim making you yelp. He soothes the sting with gentle laps of his tongue.

“Tastes so sweet angel. So sweet knowing I’m the only one to ever fuck this pretty pussy.” He snickers before adding “So far.”

“Yeah, can I fuck her now?” Tomura was turned on before but seeing the way you fell apart at the hands of your brother? His minimal patience has run out. All he can think of now is being inside you.

 “You heard him babe. Turn around.” He spanks your ass. You try to turn around but thanks to your shaky legs you nearly fall off the couch. Dabi catches you before that happens and he dutifully sets you up on all fours, held up by quivering limbs. You hear heavy breathing from behind you as Shigaraki taps his head against your puffy clit while you twitch in place.

“She wants this so bad. Had no idea your Christian little sister was such a whore.” Shigaraki mutters. He holds you still as he buries himself in you, breathing becoming more erratic with every inch until his hip bones are digging into your soft flesh. He’s so deep. You feel so full. You squeeze shut your eyelids, savouring the stretch. 

Calloused fingers press into your jaw, making your eyes shoot open. “Pretty angel, did you forget about me?” Dabi looms over you, making a show of spitting in his palm and using it to stroke himself. He slips his thumb into your mouth, pad pressing down on the plush pillow of your tongue. “Gonna stuff you nice ‘n full angel.” All you can do is blink up at him with teary eyes, pupils blown wide with desire. 

Shigaraki begins thrusting into you, hips moving at a brutal pace. Dabi isn’t far behind him, replacing his thumb with his cock and you don’t waste time waiting for him to tell you what to do. You close your lips around his shaft, engulfing him in the wet heat of your mouth.

Unlike his friend, Dabi starts off slow. His piercings drag across your tongue and you taste metal and the salt of his pre-cum. It takes some time for you to get used to taking him in your mouth, the jewellery an added obstacle. 

You feel so full. 

Shigaraki is bottoming out with every thrust, it’s so lewd the way it makes you squelch around him. Dabi’s shaft is rubbing your throat raw and still, you make an effort to take him deeper. He keeps one hand on the back of your head while he fucks you mouth.

He looks so ethereal, so euphoric, letting out little moans and whispered expletives. The sounds he makes are divine, so heavily contrasted by everything you know about him. It leaves you star struck. He recognizes the adoration in your eyes and responds in kind with a cocky smirk. He remembers how you looked at him when you first met. Disdain and judgment. Now you look at him like he’s your only salvation. 

It’s sad actually. How you’re so desperate for someone to tell you how to live. And what a sweet, adoring little follower you are. Wasted on religion if you ask him. So soft and pliant, perfect for your big brother to mould and corrupt into his personal fuckangel. 

“Angel, Nii-san’s gonna fill you up. And you’re gonna take it yeah?”

Your whole life you aspired to this holy standard of perfection in the hopes of escaping eternal damnation. But you’re beyond absolution now.

“All of it down your throat.”

It’s okay though.

If heaven doesn’t feel like this, you’re not sure it’s worth all the effort to get there. 

He holds your necklace behind you like a leash, twisting it around his fingers. Between the way he’s basically strangling you and the way your swallowing muscles contract around his cock means that you’re not getting much air into your lungs. Your head is spinning, from being both oxygen deprived and cock drunk.

“Your God doesn’t want you anymore.” The clasp snaps and he dangles the charm in front of your face. The mould of Christ nailed to the cross taunts you.  What was once a symbol of divine love and God’s boundless forgiveness and sacrifice is just a reminder of how far you’ve fallen into depravity, creaming around Shigaraki’s cock as he ruins your cunt while your Nii-san claims your throat “You’re filthy.” Touya sneers at you as he holds himself in your throat, watching you cry and choke around him. “Dirty fuckin angel.” He grunts as he floods your mouth with the taste of his cum. It’s not exactly pleasant but you try to swallow it all down. There’s just so much. That means he’s pleased with you right? You want him to be pleased. Good girls get rewards he said 

“It’s okay.” He muses as he pulls out of your mouth. “You have me. I’m better than God and I Iove you when you’re nasty like this.” He empathizes his point by dragging his wet, softening cock across your face. “Nii-sans perfect little angel.”

It’s so pitiful how the small praise makes your heart bloom and makes your hole flutter.

You’re coughing up Touya’s cum while your body shakes with Shigaraki’s thrusts.

“What about me hm? I’m fucking you. What? You don’t like it?” Tomura’s going harder now, determined to get his fair share of your attention.

“Shig-Shigaraki – shit. Slow down!”

You’re ignored by both of them once again. If anything, Shigaraki starts fucking you harder

.”Yo’ dustpot. You better pull out. That hole still belongs to me.”

The warning falls on deaf ears, Tomura is too far gone. “So warm, she’s squeezin’ me. Fuck. Fuck.’’ No thoughts, just your tight cunt.

“Gonna do whatever I tell you?” Dabi’s talking to you now, cerulean eyes boring into yours.

You nod still staring at him with absolute devotion.

“Touya-nii’s will be done? Huh? Has a nice ring to it.”

When you don’t respond he grabs you by your cheeks forming an open mouthed pout. “Say it.”

“Touya-nii’shhh will be done.” The words come out distorted but he’s satisfied

“Oh yeah? Then be good angel slut and come on his cock for me.”  

You’re pushed over the edge, coming for the second time. Your walls clamp down around him as you sob out both their names in the form of incoherent babbling. It hits you as hard as the first one. You’re so caught up in your high you barely register the vice grip on your hips, the frantic humping against your ass. “Tight. Fuckin tight! Gotta breed! Breed this fucking hole.”

His hot, sticky cum floods your walls with, your throbbing cunt milking him for everything he’s got. He ruts against you a couple more times before removing himself completely.

You hear the familiar click of a camera. He’s sorry (not really) but the sight of your fucked out hole leaking globs of your cream and his cum was too hot for Shigaraki to not add to his spankbank. 

“Thanks for that little sis.” Dabi is resting on the couch, head thrown back smoking a cigarette.

“Yeah thanks sweetness.”  Both men, tuck themselves back into their pants

Everything feels so surreal. You cautiously move you hand between your thighs. Feeling your sore abused cunt in an attempt to grasp the reality of what happened.

Wait a minute. 

It’s too much, that too sticky to be just your arousal down there. The more you squeeze, contracting your pelvic floor, the more it seems to seep out of you. 

“You… You came inside.” You murmur as your eyes well up with tears. Whatever daze you were in seems to be broken by this revelation. Instead it’s replaced by fear of what the consequences of this might be. 

Dabi smacks his friend upside the head. “You fuckin’ dumbass. I told you not to.”

Judging by his grin, Shigaraki doesn’t register the insult. He’s too busy basking in the afterglow. “Aw, don’t cry babe. You were gripping me so tight, I thought you wanted it. ‘S’okay, your Nii-san will get you a plan B”

“Fuck no. That’s your jizz inside her.” He scowls, eyes focused on the cum that’s leaking out of your spent pussy.

“C’mon Dabi don’t be like that. I’m broke right now.” Shigaraki pleads.

Touya huffs and rolls his eyes.  “You can get yourself a morning after pill right? Tomura will pay you back.”

“Yeah babe. I promise.” He gives you a dopey smile.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out he’s lying. Yeah, you know better now. You just nod as you pull up your panties, cringing at the sticky, wet sensation against your cunt.

 “Me and Tomura are heading out. Make sure you clean all this up before anyone gets home.”

“B-but Touya-nii-“ you snivel.

“No buts. Clean up or you won’t be sitting comfy for a week. Are we clear?”

“Yes Touya-nii.” You reply defeated.

“And do it properly. Fuyumi has 3 brothers, she knows what a cumstain looks like and I don’t wanna have to do any explaining to her.”

You only nod, trying (and failing) to blink away tears.

Dabi rewards you with a chaste kiss to your cheek. “Best little sister in the world.” And he leaves you with that.

[ruumirmir]

Object permanence is a real pain in the ass bc TRUE I too forget stuff unless it's literally in front of my face . also i need to start putting dividers amidst every other paragraph changing the topic of conversation 💀

omg bonus House of Wolves AU:

what do you think Loverboy's role would be in this AU? from what my little brain could understand from the animatic,, pantalone went to some kinda mora treasury vault? Alone? Arlecchino either followed him to ambush him,, or bc shes after a part of that wealth too.

omg what if Loverboy was dispatched to be on the other side, laying waste to the House of Hearth 👁👁 Gasp what if Arle stationed the magician siblings lyney lynette and freminny to protect the house. Gasp . idk im reaching at straws but this AU is anyways saur fascinating. 😭😭‼

AHAGAGHASJEJSS so far I'm noticing a pattern that dottore has found himself the number 1 targetted opp from roughly every harbinger ever 😭 in the same breath I think loverboy's prime target of harbinger murder would be Dottore as well. Saying this with the context of reader spending enough time in the Fatui to get to Know the other harbingers.

I mean theres only so much i can say about it with the minimal canon lore about unreleased harbingers + the mass delusion of headcanons ive seen everywhere. I might revise it again another time,, but as of now loverboy's opinion on the other harbingers should be something like:

Pierro - Big scary ancient fossilized man. Not a stick, he has the whole tree up his ass. 4/10

Capitano - Big scary eldritch horror. He's chill tho. Nods head in agreement when overhearing someone thirst over him. 6/10

Dottore - Explodes him with mind. Stay away from pantalone thats MY dysfunctional workplace situationship /jealousy. I hope your clones cannibalize you. 1/10

Columbina - So far so good. Let's keep it that way. Maintains approx distance of 20 meters whenever in vicinity. 3/10

Arlecchino - Threatning in the lowkey way. Not a fake bitch. Respectable single father of fifty kids. 7/10

Scaramouche - Something is so deeply wrong with this rat. I'd rather you were a fake smiley bitch than an upfront sadistic egomaniac. 2/10

Signora - There's worse women out there I'm sure. Having pretty priviledge is like god's saving grace if you were to interact with her. 4/10

Childe - He should be at the club. Relatively the sanest man to hold a conversation with. No i do not want to fight you- do you want me to inform Regrator that you're here to visit? He'd like to reach you about your car's extended warran- 9/10

Pantalone - His roman empire. ?/10

Sandrone - (As arlecchino mentioned that several fatuus have even yet to SEE her,, i think loverboy hasnt met Sandrone at all.)

Pulcinella - Pantalone was right actually. A mere 12 hours for the passing of a long-reigning Harbinger??? Even HE was weirded tf out. Hopefully the next coffin will be yours. 2/10

ok im actually laughing. "over time he's become a better guy :) <3" "-when it comes to hiding his emotions >:)"

plus one for character development ig 😭 his morals may be skewed but his pristine mask of porcelain sure ISNT.

MOVING ON- i fear you may be right it IS the sexy glasses with the metal chains. I like my men a little blind <3 Side note: if we're sticking with the delusion headcanon of Pantalone being a Gunsperson,, I think he's farsighted. You'll see him squinty eyed trying to count mora without his glasses, but he'll snipe a dude 20 blocks over.

Speaking of voices omg I had the most delicious thought ever: After reader leaves his Fatuu service, finally thinking hes free and that the worst and most hectic part of his life is OVER- (Spoiler: It isn't) What was that saying,, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder?". Ok what if I took that and adjusted it to be a little more fucked up. Having killed a man, and being complicit in killing several others, One does not Simply Escape The Harrowing Change that comes with it. I think it REALLY starts to set in after he's removed from the environment where death is so normalized. What if over time, Loverboy noticed the voice inside his head was slowly starting to sound like Pantalone. What then.

"You're very good at what you do."

okay. what if the next time it was a whisper telling him to snap a man's wrist in two because he was clearly trying to scam loverboy in broad daylight.

Rightt although its not in your rules list,, I'm guessing you don't write any sexual nsfw- STILL WANTED TO CONFIRM beforehand if you're cool with rambling about anything sexually explicit. because WELL lets just say my collection of twitter bookmarks would kill a catholic nun. I'll thoroughly indulge your vulgar way of speaking girl 👍💗

Pathetic sobby men will never not ignite SEVERAL sinful thoughts. Pantalone a stronger man than me bc i'd be pivoting that workplace situationship twink towards the bedroom immediately. anyways-

OKAY ABOUT THE FATUI MANPOWER BEING SO VAST,, I was thinking about the overall genshin public's prejudices and reaction to the Fatui,, or just Snezhnayans in general.

"Most of Snezhnaya's foreign relations are handled by the Fatui, though their aggressive negotiation style and constant political and economic encroachment have given them a negative reputation."

I wouldn't say that it made life HORRIBLE for loverboy to have connections to the fatui. But i'd say theres little scope for a satisfactory life outside Snezhnaya when you'll always be thrown a look of distrust every other day. Better to stick with your village, isnt it? Plus:

There also seems to be a large emphasis on familial relations, as the Snezhnayans who have mentioned their family have been shown to be very close to them. Camaraderie, cooperation and straightforwardness generally appear to be valued in Snezhnaya.

From reader's dad point of view, I'd assume he was a patriotic man + working under the man who might take over the economy in the future,, the salary would be Nothing to Scoff at.

simping for your own OC/ Reader/ Character is a different form of embarassing indulgence because theres a person in my head that I MADE UP and theyre ruining my life /affectionate. You can't even doomscroll content of them cause you have to make it yourself. 😩😔 At the rate this is going,, I might start to self-insert with PANTALONE cause lord help me I need to kabedon Loverboy so bad.

OMG LOVERBOY PISSING OFF PANTALON E i didnt even think about that But now that you metnion it youre so Right ( •̀ .̫ •́ )✧ I wouldnt be surprised if for a split second he had a passing thought to put a bullet in reader's skull too, but one deep breath later he had to compose himself. (Almost killing the other count: WHat is this? atleast the 4th time now?)

LMAO BUT WORRY NOT GOOD SIR your loverboy is infact going to develop a spine of Steel with SO MUCH survivcal instinct that Years down the line he's going to get you in Hot Shit with the Knave on pressumed account of him BETRAYING YOU (Gasp Gasp). For the sole reason of wanting to survive No Matter The Cost . Would you look at that. We've come full circle now.

Im imagining pantalone,, Now regrator,, looking at loverboy after a good 3-4 ish years and not recognizing the man for about a minute,, before he makes that mental connection that Ah. Its the soggy mop boy from years ago.

and his eyes dilate like a cat and he goes ‼‼‼‼ And oh no!!! THats where the obsession starts to snowball Like "holy shit babyboy that post-character development clarity looks positively Enchanting on you. I need you in ways that are So concerning to business ethics"

Like finding the most perfect diamond after leaving behind the same coal to crystalize under pressure.

wow this loverboy business is no joke ive never been this insane over Just a Guy. and to think it all started bc i accidentally sent the same req to two different writers 🥺

Ok lets go SImply reblogging your oneshot for my req isn't enough i need to analyze and annotate the entire thing like a literature professor and tell you Everything. (✿◡‿◡)

pantalone might be ooc

He's not!!!!!! by which i think this is fairly a Really Good portrayal of the guy considering the 5 sentences we know about him. He's strict!!! frankly a little scary!! And also chill and positive about loverboy!! But it felt Just Right!!!! ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

descriptions of blood

description so good i might as well have killed that man myself

...pretend that his lore has a spot where this fits perfectly

I think i can make it fit!! would you be cool with making minor changes if so?

"You're very good at what you do."

Imagining the same voice as sebastian michaelis saying this with the sexiest buttersmooth voice is eviscerating me. Very self-indulgent but praise kinks will always slay so hard.

...on the verge of stabbing him a moment ago. 

This,, and the small thing i wrote about loverboy launching them both out the window to escape an onslaught of assassins in my other req. get you a ship where one of them has completely normal knee-jerk reactions to kill the other <3

...as he crushes their hand beneath his shoe without mercy

Fatui Harbingers - House of Wolves - KIERU 0:15

...Instead, Pantalone looks unfazed by it all, stopping as he reaches the other side of you, free of most of the blood. He greets you with a knowing smile as he usually does.

hey ririto this is so ominous and eerie for some reason not known to me. Just the backdrop of grey and snow and probably a gruesome corpse right next to loverboy and Pantalone has a silent smile through everything. Delicious sentence 10/10.

"I knew making you a banker was a good idea,"

THIS IS SO. The confidence and quite calm assurance that pantalone says this with is SO. You'd never be sure whether to lean into it and let out a sigh of relief,, o r back up further becuase it sounds so good but all in the wrong ways.

...thumb brushing across your bottom lip slicked with blood.

fellas is it professional to feed double edged words of honey to your young inexperienced subordinate while kneeling in front of his battered and bruised self who killed someone for you,, and run a gloved thumb across his blood soaked lip. ( ͡• ͜ʖ ͡• )

"Who knew you had so many other talents,"

you are infusing these dialouges with crack cocaine giggling kicking my feet while being slightly concerned because Sir. What do you mean by that.

"Ah ah," he says, a harshness seeping into even just that sound. "Stay."  You stay put,

thank you for making loverboy so Ouppy.

"Lord Harbinger," you try to say

yes,, this could be a minor thing to adjust: i think we could actually fit this oneshot somewhere AFTER he gets his vision,, and BEFORE Pantalone becomes the Harbinger Regrator. Can be a valid reason for Pantalone to see that reader failed to kill the assassin from their shitty negotiation meeting,, and wanting to newly test him again after he had his vision + ambitions awakened to see if he can get past the fear of killing NOW. (Even then,, maybe due to inexperience/unfamiliarity of using visions, reader didn't think to raise his advantage of supernatural powers against another visionless man in this scenario.)

I'd think his first kill was one of the factors that caused him to leave after his 3year duty, not sticking around for Pantalone's promotion to Regrator.

"You are much like your father."

Top 10 things Not to say to someone with daddy issues-

...they're as wet behind the ears as you are.

Dear diary, Today i learned a new speech of expression

...Pantalone's hand that rests on your chin moves... "Now, try again. Dear banker, whatever do you mean?" 

this whole paragraph. What on earth do you mean 'ooc pantalone'. This is the MOST pantalone thing you could've written. Strict and intimidating about improving reader's meek attitude. a Push in the right direction.

"Is this a test?" you manage, words muffled by the way he squishes your face like putty beneath his fingers.

(thank you for making loverboy so Ouppy) x2

...and you know who, regardless of how 'anonymous' that source may have been in his words.

I MAY BE STUPID. （；´д｀）ゞ I CANT TELL. who you are hinting towards 😭😭

"Hold this," he adds, an unnervingly tender instruction for the way he was just behaving. 

There he is. its reminding me of: the same pantalone that washed reader with a clock in my very first req to you.

...looking probably about as pathetic as you think you do.

POV: You're Pantalone looking down at Loverboy.

I forgot how much of a bug-eyed wet dog loverboy is before his time-skip "character development" so to say. Thanks i love him.

"next time someone approaches you from behind, don't wait to stab them. Don't reach for your wet knife with your wet hands, either. Both of those things will get you killed."

I think pantalone is entirely having too much fun with observing Loverboy try climbing the ropes to how REAL fatuus run business.

"Come now. You want to go home and back to Liyue, don't you? I'm tired of this cold." 

Σ(っ °Д °;)っ back to liyue??? Loverboy is Liyuean??? pantalone stays in liyue??? I ALWAYS THOUGHT arlecchino called pantalone a bitch in Signora's funeral for "never leaving the comfort of his homeland?" Whuh-?

ALL IN ALL,, CLOSING THOGUHTS,, GOOD FOOD RIRITO DINNER HAS BEEN SERVED, ATE, AND LICKED CLEAN 10/10 ILY

I GOTT THIS JUST BEFORE I WENT TO SLEEP AND ONLY JUST GOT THE TIME TO ANSWER IT BUT I KNEWWW YOU WOULD GET THE HOUSE OF WOLVES REFERENCE

That is true actually and I realised after I posted it that like, wtf is in character for him?? 😭 he's said like two things and while I have memorised those things they're not a lot to go off but I'm glad you enjoy him (ﾉ´▽｀)ﾉ♪

Also if you can make it fit, feel free ☆(≧∀≦*)ﾉ I sorta only had a vague idea of where it might go, but at that point in time, loverboy works abroad in the Northland Bank. I'll also throw in that he travelled there for that job and unfortunately does not come from Liyue 😔 (unless he's supposed to?? I got the impression he was from Snezhnaya) it was more a "I bet you'd love to be back at a desk job rn" or something to that effect, loverboy is going back to the bank once things are settled where he belongs but Pantalone isn't going with him (hence why they're in Snezhnaya when this happenscause I also interpret at as him not liking to leave Liyue)

I'm so glad the J Michael Tatum love never stops but also you're so right praise kinks absolutely do. I also noticed that them trying to kill each other is like, a repeated theme so far 😭⁉️ LIKE WHEN PANTALONE WENT TO FIND HIM LAST ONESHOT HE WAS GONNA KILL THAT FUCKER

Confident possibly mildly degrading Pantalone is literally my favourite thing, like I chew on him. I chew on him being unnervingly calm because what would he have in the eyes of a wet mop boy besides an unwavering poker face. Get yourself a man who uses the blood of your enemies like your lipstick and knows he made good choices stationing you at his shady probably money laundering black hole of debt he calls a bank

Yk I agree actually I was trying to figure the timeline out in my head and realised it would've made more sense to happen before he was a Harbinger so I agree with this revision that actually makes it fit the lore and if I ever decide to make it a longer multichapter fic I'll definitely fix that 💀 t'was a victim of laziness

YES YES THIS Pantalone basically shaping him up so he doesn't literally die and being strict with it get so him. He'll prompt him to say it again but won't let it slide because that behaviour isn't going to be beneficial, especially not with someone who may be working under him long-term

I went back to read the part about the anonymous source line came from, and I think I figured out what happened here, so allow me to explain  (;ﾟдﾟ)   Ok so, it has a bit to do with the weird way I wrote this because when I said I wrote this on the train that was half a lie. I wrote some of it on the train and the rest at the library where I also edited what I already had because the spelling mistakes were atrocious. I did write down who it was but cut it when I decided it cluttered the story a bit which retrospectively was also a mistake because I didn't think about the fact it would seem like I was hinting at something at the time (ﾟ▽ﾟ*) the shorter, boring answer is that there's no one Ririto did a big silly and cut context in the chaotic editing this suffered

LMAO NOT THE CLOCK AGAIN

I love him the wet mop boy. I was like I want him to be at least a lil pathetic rn because his concerns are completely different. He's thinking about how to not die, and how much he misses his mom and his much fatui dick his dad must've been riding before death to think this career path was worth it (slash JOKING but he is still wondering why his father would have done this job willingly) that and I think men who whimper are cute thanks for coming to my Ted talk

HE IS ENJOYING IT and I love it sm

Hehe I am glad to know you haven't gone hungry today (^o^) and such high ratings for the banker and loverboy

[teenyweenynightghost]

Maneskin Group Chat - Chapter 8

A/n: so I have some requests left but my brain no worky so why not post part 8 of this absolute chaotic piece of shit. Hope you enjoy <3

Masterlist (for the other chapters)

Warnings: swearing. Like a lot

(Maneskin House 10:35)

D: We should make another music video

E: It is an expensive and difficult decision to make, Damiano, we can’t just decide to do it over text

D: Shut up EDGAR

D: I suggest Mamma Mia

T: Perfect, we’ll kill all our fans

V: YOU GUYS I HAVE AN IDEA

T: WHAT

E: Speak child

V: weird- ANYWAY

V: WHAT IF WE KILLED DAMIANO IN THE VIDEO

T: YES YES YES YES

E: This is the first violent thing you suggest that I agree with

V: Because it’s genius

T: I WANNA SMASH A GUITAR ON HIS FACE

V: I WANNA MAKE OUT WITH A GIRL

E: If I’m tagging along… I suppose drowning Damiano in piss would be nice

D: :0

D: what

V: Awww bambino, WE’RE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN

D: 😦☝️

D: 😑🤌

D: Why

V: Ok let’s all weigh in as to why

V: EHEM number one- you’re a constant pain in our fucking ass

V: You’re a perfectionist asshole

T: You expose me in interviews for stealing ciggarets

E: You keep crowd surfing and I have to deal with you crying later from the injury

D: Y/N CARE TO HELP

E: No chance. She’s sleeping next to me

V: Is that why I heard no movement from your room?

E: What. Did you want me to wake her up?

V: You’re a fool, Ethan.

E: Y’ALL OH MY FUCKING GOD CAZZO VICTORIA DE ANGELIS QUEEN DEL TRASH JUST WROTE AN ACTUAL SENTENCE

V: Do you want us to kill you too?

D: Mr Noodle and the princess killing Ethan and I? With what strength

T: Hey! I’ve started walking!

E: power. Walking. Thomas. Power walking.

T: At least I’m not like Damiano

D: I WORKOUT!

T: Yeah in bed

D: You have terrible comebacks Thomas. You are right. I am a sex god

V: BACK TO THE VIDEO YOU DUMB ASSHOLES

D: I preffered this discussiom

V: Of course you did 🙄

D: Ok, well, Giorgia is home so, excuse me Thommy bambino but I’ll go “workout”

T: THATS EW AND I DID NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT

E: Close your eyes Cobra and pretend you didn’t read that

T: Yeah I’m gonna go do that

***

12:27

Y/n: Well, I missed a bit

V: Morning hottie

Y/n: A good morning to you too, Victoria

V: Did Ethan wake you up properly or did you wake up without a head between your legs?

E: Victoria de Angelis stop flirting with my girlfriend.

V: No grazie, bebeh <3

Y/n: You two are cute

V: Exactly, so you could come to my room

V: You’d have a much better time than with Ethan😉

***

T: Why did I hear a scream

Y/n: I have a guess

T: Nvm I read the previous messages

V: THIS BITCH

Y/n: what happened

V: HE TORE OUT A STRING FROM MY BASS!?? WHO DOES THAT

E: hihi

D: Ethan. She’ll disassemble your drum set

E: she can fucking try

V: oh? Too bad you’re already back in bed with Y/n

E: 😃

E: che

V: CIAO FUCKERS

***

V: so i talked to our manager and she said we can all kill Dami in the new video

D: idk about y’all but im feeling a bit attacked

T: that is because we are attacking you

D: NAH REALLY?

T: you said the dumb thing first

D: you’re lucky you’re such a cutie

T: i want to smash a guitar on his head

D: YEAH YOU MENTIONED THAT BEFORE JACKASS

T: you just called me a cutie im getting whiplash

T: MOMMY

E: i was out running errands what

E: who hurt you

T: the whore

E: damiano

D: now im lowkey insulted

Y/n: oh but you let Gio call you that?

D: the day you’ll fuck me like she does will be the day you get to call me that

Y/n: fair enough. Babe did you get me tampons?

E: we have three packs in the bathroom

Y/n: what type

E: lemon, strawberry and mint, amore

Y/n: tampons, not ice cream

E: oh yeah and we have chocolate ice cream

Y/n: too?

E: wdym too

Y/n: AMORE what do you think the colored packaging on tampons refers to?

E: … Vic said they’re flavours

***

[chat between Y/n and Vic]

V: im begging you go with it

V: its my longest running lie

V: i even convinced his whole family to go with it

Y/n: he will be deeply hurt

Y/n: im in

V: perfection

***

[maneskin house]

Y/n: you’re right, babe

Y/n: but how old are the lemon ones? They stopped making them quite a while ago

D: how? Gio asks me to get them all the time

Y/n: oh… then ig i just didn’t see em

E: maybe

T: uh guys

D: no

T: ok maybe later

V: dami you asshole

D: vic you sea bitch

V: sea??

D: your eyes- they’re like the sea

V: and thats supposed to be an insult?

***

E: I WANT TO KNOW WHO DID NOT ANSWER THOMAS’S PHONE CALL

V: damiano

D: it was victoria del trash

Y/n: what happened?

E: HE CALLED ME CRYING WITH SIRENS IN THE BACKGROUND

V: uh…oh

E: HE SET FIRE TO THE KITCHEN AND YALL WERE LITERALLY NEXT DOOR

E: HOW DID YOU NOT NOTICE??

V: we’re antisocial

Y/n: OMG THE POOR BOY! IS HE OK? WHERE ARE YOU GUYS??

E: we’re… we’re getting ice cream

V: 😑

V: bullshit why does your snap map show you’re the mall

E: he wanted to get a plush

E: to commemorate

E: burning theee strands of hair off

D: and you went with it?

E: WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO??

V: fair

V: i want to go buy more leather harnesses y/n r u cumming with me?

E: i will kill you

Y/n: sure!

E: 👁👄👁

Y/n: what

Y/n: OH

V: oh shit i made a typo

Y/n: oh okay

Y/n: anyway… see you in 5 min?

Vic: sure 😇

Taglist: @fuckim-so-gay @ginny-lily @messyhairday-me @cheese-toastie-11 @wannabemarlenabutiscoraline e @simp-per-ethan @maneskinrollercoaster @juststalking @superchrystaldrug @immrbrightsideeee @shehaddreamstoo @tiaamberxx @bidet-and-legolas @makapaka11 @electra-phoebe @makeavvish @perfectlyunbiasedobservation @cucciolafaerie @theimpossiblehologramtree @unitersmoonshine @deeavjbes @selenophiliaxx @oro-e-diamanti @l0standn0tf0und @iosonoarina @que--sera--sera @writingmaneskin @rhaellasdaughter

[untraceable-ace]

Almost 2 hours late to the live react shitpost party bc I was dying my hair while watching it when it started but anyways

Under the cut bc it both contains spoilers for the m9 reunion p2 and also because it’s really fucking long lmao

They’re kicking these guys asses holy shit

wtf is going on with Kingsley btw like pardon?????

See my question is if Ukotoa is in the process of being released while they’re fighting or if he’s still locked away rn bc like

If he’s not in the process of being released waIT

NVM HE’S OUT

IN THE TEMPLE???

Oh god creepy snakes moving in tandem i love snakes but not like this

Run boy run byeeee

NO

NOONONONO

YEAH NO SHIT THATS NOT RIGHT???

fshshshsh the giant just knocked over in the center of the set is so funny to me

fr hes just

there

Oh wait worm???

Not Ukoatoa??

Caleb my god you are a noodly wizard why would you try to intimidate a betrayer god

LMAO A 17???

“That’s me” jester my beloved

Cmon cmon NO

eight whyyy

Uh ohhhh

HAHAHAHA WARLOCK PACT

Which one which one

Is he just flexing w that ring of telepathy or did that have a purpose

Oh Jester <3

KINGSLEY???

“You just got this body” LMAO

First an accidental pact with an ancient evil sea deity then a pledge to essentially mother nature and now a betrayer god woooooh

Creepy

Wait this guy hates Melora does that mean Fjord can’t connect with her anymore?

LMAO the face

Oh not another cursed sword

i think its a cursed sword

maybe

Them putting up his stat card has me concerned uh oh

LMAO “thanks I hate it”

Ooooh a rapier fancy

its official I love Kingsley

AUGH GOOD BANTER

THE SNAKES

“Martial our forces” HMMM??

Darktow who is in darktow hold up

OHHH RIGHT plank king

Cant go back there

Fantasy DMs jfeoghehgaio;ewhaoge

syphilis gang

DAMN that was one efficient sending

You can just hear the agony in his voice ijodfsihjogiho

If anyone’s a glorified librarian its caleb idk what you mean beau

Charcuterie board

Mamas house has more tiddies followed by “That’s a good point” is fueling me

Winds in the east

mist comin in

something is brewin

about to begin

“I know all languages” jfc how many do you know now????

Im still wondering about that monkey yall what was that about

my original thought was that it was Artagan but it was so antagonistic idk

“We were probably a huge pain in your ass like a year ago” yeah sounds about accurate to what I know

I like her too jester she’s fun

risk esseks life cmon cmon cmon I NEED TO HEAR HIS VOICE AAUUUAUUGH

HES LEAVING PLS BE CONTACTING

damn wrong elf

fshshshsh hermit elf

WOW thats a lot of potions

break to wash out hair dye hold up

before i leave

haha charcuterie board

ok now brb

Okay hair’s done back to reacting

“Okay so you don’t blow yourself up” mood

Wtf is that rod??? Bc we all know he probably wouldve made it amber if he could

Fuckin dope move though omg

EIGHTY ONE????

GOD DAMN

OOOH OH I KNOW WHERE THIS GOES

GET HIS EYESSSSSSS

dainty sip of sherry in the midle of abttle from a flask i love it

holy noises followed by the camera panning to a glowing silouette of a dick on the floor

THREE DRAGONS?????

i mean ik two are illusions but DAMN

Dude I’m not sure Kingsley’s had one bad move this entire two-shot like wtf

soooo AC is 21? I think?

wait do different parts have different ACs?

HAHAHA YES EYEBALL WEAKNESS

Stab the eye, stab the eye, stab the eye, stab the e-

Gently give a slice to an eyeball muah

so eyeball AC is 27> (or equal to 27)

There has been an assault, far as i can tell sam is being a shit again

New tatoo?? Chainbreaker

Fancy

Ohoho oh nvm rip yasha’s dope ass thunderclap

won wound

Ooooh the big bad demigod can be frightened damn

DUNAMANCYYYYY

aw damn rip spell

new form who dis

Half of this live react is just me repeating one liners i found particularly funny oops

Oh nvm?? Dunamancy spell lives????

Nvm

Well ok its alive just half damage

Boy Veth I would love to see you try

“I can dodge gravity” can you????

HOLY FUCKING SHIT CHARACTER GROWTH INDEED

THAT WAS SO FUCKING COOL

Rip Beau taken out of the game bc piss

OKAY RIP BEAU FR???

FUCKING LEGENDARY HDYWTDT

GET FLUFFERNUTTERED BITCH

RIP FJORD SENT OFF INTO SPACE MY GOD

OH

OHOHOHOHOH

CMON CMON CMON SEAL HIM AWAY DO IT DO IT

OooUuUhfhdbdjfe I love the lighting change for going under water

Cmon pls pls pls work seal that bitch away

WHAT

OHOHO

FUCK YEAH MATE

Uh oh my boys gonna get the bends good call w the far step tbh

Actually bad call that’s too fast a pressure difference

Ayo Travis w the accurate bends rep

Ugh I love Caleb’s level 17 art sm

Well damn Melora!!!! Queen shit tbh

I hope “keep that just for me” means he swallowed it again

LMFAO MATTS FACE

Dicks and Other Things

The Molly Look™️

Promptly steal I love him

DAMN Kingsley’s on some king shit

Literally

ORPHAN TAKER IM SOBBING

WAUUAUAUGHFHFB CMON CMON

HIS BOICE I GOT TO HEAR HIS VOICE SJRJQIFUJEHE

THEY GOT THEIR SHIT TOGETHER SO QUICK????? SIX MONTHS??????????

CRYING SOBBING LOSING MY MIND

That was so fucking good oh my god

stimmed so hard at the end that my limbs started to actually cramp lmao

[daaziscoolbesties]

minecraft endermen are really weird. theyre unnatural and make me feel off.

when i was a small child like seven years ago i would always play minecraft on creative mode and i made an ugly ass enderman "farm" made out of bricks. i had an enderman spawn egg and id just spam it and the enderman couldnt get out (so i thought). anyways having them in this enclosure was probably so i could feel "powerful" over them because to date theyre still the only mob in minecraft that makes me anxious. even above skeletons(which i used to have a horrible fear of (the real life ones not mc ones)) and spiders (which i still have a horrible fear of (again the real life ones not mc)). anyways the endermen just ended up completely teleporting out of the farm and i checked on my world the next day and they were all gone and i didnt appreciate it (this was the same world where my brother blew up my pets but thats a different story).

anyways back to endermen. besides the fact that i just didnt like dying and i did like building ugly structures, one of the main reasons i didnt play survival much for a while, or if i did id put it on peaceful, was because of the enderman. every time i passed one my heart would drop and if i happened to look it in the eye on accident my throat would feel like its closing up and idk why. if it sounds like im bullshitting you or not remembering correctly i swear im not because it still happens actually.

i play survival a ton more now simply because i enjoy it more, it feels like theres actually a goal to achieve, but i never really make efforts toward said goal(ya know, beating the dragon). none of my worlds are really created with the intention of beating the dragon, and therefore i dont have to worry about endermen. if i happen to be outside my house and theres one there, no worries i just wait for it to go away. it may spook me for a sec but im fine.

but recently me and my sister started a world with the sole purpose of beating the dragon. we may have cheated a little (like putting on keep inventory cause honestly we both suck at pvp and have died so many times) but its okay cause thats it. we still have to fight endermen to get pearls for the end portal. and so we were hanging out in the nether and made a little two block tall hidey hole and id stand by the front and taunt endermen to get them to come close so i could kill them without them being able to get to me and it worked really well actually. except for the fact that to get them to come near i had to get them to aggro onto me and to do that i have to look them in the eye and you know where this is going. and so i was like "it has been so long since i looked an enderman in the eye surely i cant still be scared of them" and i turn to my sister like "<sister> you stay in the hole ill get us some pearls"

so i go out and taunt the dudes and guess what bitch got the pit in their stomach from these fuckers!! thats right bestie and my throat started to close up and i started talking to my sister again but i could tell me voice was off from it and i dont know why it happens but it pisses me off. like theyre not even scary looking theyre just a bit odd. and i continue to do this and kill the endermen and it just. doesnt. stop. my throat keeps closing up and im not "in pain" or anything just inconvenienced like what the fuck dude its a bunch of fucking pixels. i dont know its weird.

and now this part is gonna sound super fuckin stupid but ever since i started watching dsmp i immediately got attached to ranboo (cc! and c!) and knowing that c!ranboo was half enderman made me really think "hm endermen arent that bad. granted i havent interacted with one in a while but still not that bad. perhaps my favorite hostile mob" because you know people get attached to characters and think dumb things. and then again ranboo's character straight up existing and also this one specific headcanon i saw that was like "endermen use telepathy to talk so when a player looks at them all their thoughts get projected into them and it hurts their brain :((" makes me feel kinda bad for aggro-ing them and killing them again even though its literally just some pixels dude. my brain is not kind to me about this stuff and its really dumb.

i dont know what about the endermen staring back at me sets off the sort of fight-or-flight that makes me unable to breathe for a second but its something. its not the fact that their jaws basically unhinge when theyre mad because the throat closing up sensation happens before that. it happens when i look at an enderman and it looks back up at me and holds my gaze. i dont know. i dont know why im worked up(even slightly) over a video game. theyre still my favorite hostile mob i think (not just because of ranboo honestly the other hostile mobs just kinda suck).

and also i like the idea of how humanoid they are. not human. humanoid. they have the basic aspects of a minecraft human- square, head, torso, legs, arms, eyes. most mc skins dont even have mouths anyways just eyes. but the endermen have these features differently than us. their eyes are unnatural, legs and arms too long, body all one color, one that can blend in, and you can only see its purple eyes staring you down from a distance. theyre basically just cryptids.

despite skeletons and even zombies looking closer to the player than the endermen, they still seem the most human-like of all of the mobs. they arent aggressive unless provoked. they dont like eye contact(socially awkward). they like picking up stuff and moving it around. theyre curious (i cant explain this one they just are, okay?). even the sounds they make are just phrases like "hey" "hello" "whats up" distorted and in reverse.

i want to know more about them.

i want to know where they came from.

why theyre found in every dimension.

why they sound like us.

i want explanations, i want to know why they scare us.

i want to know if they know.

if they know that we're like them in some way.

that some of us dont mean harm, but for others thats all they want to do to the endermen.

i saw a post once that said "what taught humans to be wary of things that look human, but arent?" i believe the phenomenon is called uncanny valley. what if in the minecraft universe, the thing that taught us that was endermen. or rather, the thing that taught the endermen that was us? because again, the endermen pose no threat to us unless theyre provoked. by one of us. the endermen try to communicate with us- "⊑⟒⊬" "⍙⊑⏃⏁⌇ ⎍⌿?"- but we kill them without reason. thats why they dont like eye contact, its been ingrained in them through evolution that eye contact with a human/player will end in death, and they dont want it to be theirs, so they attack first.

we- or rather, the first minecrafters, maybe (in the lore(?)) people before the game, taught the endermen to fear us. i mean we literally kill them, use their remains to enter their home dimension, and then kill their leader/mother. they do their best to stop us, but we can respawn and they cant. and then, some people even go as far as to make farms, having them all spawn in one place, crowded, cant teleport out- their only defense mechanism gone- and then are slaughtered for their pearls. and due to the mass of these farms there will be chests upon chests full of pearls that no one's using, i saw someone the other day ask what people do with them and someone straight up said they just burn them like god what a waste.

"but izzy, players make mob farms all the time and not just for endermen!!!1!!11! why are the endermen ones so bad why are you only talking about those1!1!1!!!1" 1) because i can, 2) this is an endermen-themed post, and 3) i dont like the other mobs. and of course im not actually mad at the players who like beating the game and making endermen farms and such, i mean thats what it is its all just a game just a bunch of code, 0's and 1's, so why does it matter why bother writing a whole post on it?

because when you look paste the game, when you read in between those ones and zeroes and discover this non-intentional lore, it can make things so much more,, interesting. this is fanfic material. hell, its probably fanart material too. its all for the content to see what the community can create i guess. or maybe i just really like talking about endermen and this has been on my mind for two days now and once i started typing i couldnt stop.

but yeah, thats my final thoughts.

we, humans, experience uncanny valley about the endermen.

but the endermen experience uncanny valley about the players.