#god forbid people are curious on what you're doing in life

[vixen-flame]

Idk, I'd probably get satisfaction in the fact there was an answer to begin with (im a fox, im curious and i enjoy knowing things regardless of importance or applicability), and relieved that nothing bad happened to you. Or if something did, I'd have a moment of shared empathy which would have value in it's own right, despite not necessarily meaning anything out right.

Why haven't you uploaded anything to your youtube channel in six months?

imagine the sort of thing that someone would say if you asked them this question. now imagine me saying that. now ask yourself, is anything of value gained from getting this answer?

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

now deeply curious after reading some comments on a related news article

(whether you get periods now or you got them 20 years ago...doesn't have to be current)

[baldursgate3tempobsessed]

Ascended Astarion has infected my brain. Especially when you try to break up with him as a spawn and he's just, "Aw, that's cute. No."

TW: It's Ascended Astarion doing Ascended Astarion things. Consent, kindness, or morality arent major factors in this man's life.

Personal headcanons for him, a mixture of you being spawn and not:

Twisted Protectiveness: You would think that becoming so powerful would have made him less afraid of losing you, right? Wrong. Because he is so very aware of the fact that you are his one and only weakness. If you ever died at the hands of someone else he would go insane, maybe even enough to do something drastic. If his darling couldn't live in this world, then what right did anyone else have? Keeping you safe means keeping him safe, and by extension, every mortal life in the realm.

Obsessive, Murderous Jealousy: Astarion loved you, he adored you, and he cared nothing of your past. Or at least...he used to not care. But ever since the ritual he had gotten a certain...itch. He didn't like knowing that other people had experienced the pleasure of your body. It was his. You were always his, even before he knew of you. It was fated in the stars. It bothers him enough to pick up a new hobby, tracking down every single one of your ex-lovers and butchering them. He keeps you in the dark of course, all of his questions about your past framed as curious inquiries, versus helpful hints for finding every last one of them.

Complete Control: In all honesty, despite his words and the harsh punishments he loves it when you try to defy him. Especially when you try to escape. It's never that serious, you're a good pet who just wants some alone time on occasion, always leaving with full intent to come back. But he can't help but think it's adorable when you actually think you've gotten away from him, even if it's just for a night. No, every time you've snuck away he's been there. He doesn't always intervene, sometimes he just likes to watch you interact from the shadows, see what you do without him. He especially loves it when he catches you talking about him, how sweet you remained despite the...changes in your relationship. But sometimes you would do something a little too rowdy, a little too dangerous, or god forbid flirtatious. Though you've gotten so much better about that, especially after Astarion gouged out the eyes of a man who had the nerve to ask you for a dance. In front of you. That certainly did the trick. But that didn't stop him from dragging you home when he thought that you had enough of a taste of "freedom" for one night, kicking and screaming if need be.

[krispycreamcake]

yeeees! Please go for the headcanon!!

From author: Was secretly wishing you'd send this 🙏🏼

If you killed someone in the Sakamaki household

Shu Sakamaki

🎻- Honestly just like every other brother, it heavily depends on who was killed

🎻- If it was Reiji, he'd be ecstatic, kind of

🎻- His relationship with Reiji is extremely strained and that's without him even knowing about him "killing" Edgar

🎻- He'd be impressed that you managed to kill someone like Reiji which initially makes him extremely wary of you

🎻- His immediate reaction to finding out would be disbelief but then escalate into one of satisfaction

🎻- He'd probably say something along the lines of "What would that woman think if she knew you died by the hands of a mere mortal, I wonder?" And cue insane laughter please

🎻- If it was someone less relevant to him, then I'd say he's the type of guy to not care until he actually sees the body dressed up and ready to be buried

🎻- Now I'm not saying he'll go into grieving or anything, but it'll actually hit him that his brother is in fact dead

🎻- Now for his reaction towards YOU

🎻- That's a completely different story

🎻- Like I said before, his reaction would differ and if you really did manage to kill Reiji, he'd be ever so grateful but he'd never say it. Ever.

🎻- He'd probably be curious though as to what drove you to killing him, or any of his brothers for that matter

🎻- He'd analyze the situation in his mind and pick out the flaws that led to their demise

🎻- Realistically he'd care but not for too long. Give him about less than a week to get accustomed and he'll be fine

🎻- He'd never underestimate you again though, he'll make sure of that

🎻- If it was Yui however, then that's a lot more complicated

🎻- If his relationship was well developed with her, you'd be dead, without a doubt

🎻- If he was still in his almostgivingafuckbutnotreally stage, he wouldn't care a lot

🎻- He'd be kinda irritated that you killed his prey though and then Karl would just send another troublesome woman to bother him

🎻- But like I said, if he really did start to warm up to Yui or was already warmed up, you'd be dead in an instant

Reiji Sakamaki

☕- Surprised and concerned

☕- This may honestly seem like a shock to some people but Reiji actually does care for his brothers and has stated that he enjoys living with them

☕- Going off of this information, we can assume he'd be at least a tiny bit distraught even if he doesn't convey it outwardly

☕- Like Shu, he'd want to know your motives and additionally, how you even managed to do such a thing

☕- He'd honestly miss their presence and picking up after them. He would probably cope in some weird ass way

☕- Maybe he'd start writing letters to them and keep them sealed away somewhere extremely safe

☕- Initially, his face would go 😨 and then you'd have to deal with him mourning

☕- He'd probably avoid you realistically until he has thoughts in an order

☕- This process can take either a day or a month depending

☕- God forbid it was Shu that was killed however

☕- Once again, cue insane laughter

☕- Seeing your lifelong rival die is something I'm sure is hard to process

☕- I'm not saying he wouldn't be relieved that his good for nothing brother died, especially since it meant he was now the oldest and had more opportunities opened up to him

☕- But as much as he does hate Shu, it's still his brother and at some point in their lives, they weren't rivals

☕- Now I'm not saying he'll be even slightly upset with his death but

☕- Actually let me backtrack a bit

☕- Imagine hating someone so much because all they do is show you up without having to do anything and in a second, they're gone

☕- Reiji would almost throw a tantrum

☕- Their relationship can be comparable to Joker and Batman in a sense

☕- Let me elaborate on that for a second

☕- Building your life around a certain person and making sure you come out on top no matter what

☕- Having the very reason that you're the person you are today, be ripped away from you is something that's always hard to process whether your relationship with them is negative or positive

☕- Reiji needs to feel the satisfaction of killing Shu so he can translate onto him the years of pent up rage and resentment and pain and hurt and jealousy

☕- Killing Shu would mean to Reiji that you took away the one thing he could've owned for himself without being overshadowed

☕- If you take away the very thing that makes Reiji, Reiji, then he'll lose the foundation for all his successes in life

☕- If you killed Yui however, obviously death

☕- I feel like I shouldn't have to say it each time, but expect to die in some twisted malevolent way

☕- Let's say he didn't have that bond with Yui, he'd still be pissed

☕- Probably lock you in the dungeon without food so you could "understand" the extent of your crimes

Ayato Sakamaki

🏆- Ok so I'm not sure how many people know this, but Ayato is the most sympathetic of his brothers, I'd go as far to say even empathetic

🏆- Now I'm not saying this makes him a morally good person and whatnot, or that he'll cry everyday and bring flowers to his brother's grave, no

🏆- We learn that Ayato is actually quite understanding and sympathetic when he states that he understands why Cordelia did certain things and even pitied her

🏆- With that in mind, it'd hurt him, a lot

🏆- We all know Ayato is one to wear his heart on his sleeve no matter wherever or whoever

🏆- He'll be outwardly upset but that doesn't mean he'll be seen mourning

🏆- To break it down, he's the type of person to stare at the empty seat in the dining room and can't help but realize that chair will always be empty

🏆- Or he'll realize that he'll live long enough to forget his brother's voice, sometimes stand in front their bedroom door, not saying anything and then walking off

🏆- He'll notice how the living room feels slightly bigger when there's family meetings and how he'll never get to shout at that person again

🏆- Due to him being conditioned to being number one, he'll have extremely mixed feelings

🏆- As a competitor, the game isn't fun without other opponents, even if it's a game you know you'll win because then you coming first means nothing

🏆- Dying or in this case, 'dropping out the race' would make Ayato stop running for once and look back at the other players

🏆- That's if it was someone he wasn't as close with

🏆- Now let's say you killed Laito for instance, he'd have quite a different reaction

🏆- He would actually mourn his brother but never let anyone see him

🏆- His relationship with Laito is complicated but not an enigma

🏆- He feels as if he owes Laito something from not being able to help him in his past

🏆- Knowing that he died meant that he failed as a brother

🏆- If you killed Laito out of self defence, he'd be upset that his brother was dead but not because you defended yourself

🏆- Like I said earlier, he's the most understanding and sympathetic

🏆- If he could go into the shoes of the woman who abused and made his life hell

🏆- He could understand why you did what you did

🏆- If however it wasn't out of self defence, like Reiji he'd need to take a while to compose himself

🏆- He'd wanna know why and how and then just sit on his bed not knowing what to feel

🏆- He'd be upset at you if that was the case and you'd probably have to work to regain his trust again(if you want it)

🏆- But like I said, still the most understanding, so he had a feeling you might pull something like this if you started getting pestered too often or showed signs that you weren't doing okay

🏆- And oh God if it was Yui, yeah you're not coming out alive and I know I've said this like 2 times already, but let me be clear

🏆- You will wish he killed you

🏆- Prey or not, taking something that belongs to Ayato is never ever a good idea

From author: Guys it's 2am, I'll upload the other brothers tomorrow I promise, just please don't kill my family. (Ps, I love you guys❤)

[crusty-chronicles]

hii! i really love your airhead s/o series!! especially that ging one, perhaps can you make a part 2 of airhead s/o x ging? i really love it😭😭

You know what, why the hell not. There simply isn't enough of this stinky man out there and I truly do love him. He's cute in the feral rat kinda way 🥺

BONUS AIRHEADED S/O HEADCANNONS: Ging part 2

Like a thorn in his side, you simply won't leave

He doesn't recall how exactly he met you, but he does remember what he said that started all this.

"Keep up with me if you can."

And keep up you did. A little too well. And now he was stuck with you.

Buys plastic plates and Styrofoam cups because you can't break them.

Seriously, every good dish he had is shattered in the trash somewhere.

No plastic spoons or forks though

He tried that once and you had broken them, unawares that the extra crunch to your cereal was plastic

Is amazed and a little curious to find out you set the sink on fire.

Like honsetly, what the fuck???? Should he be impressed or scared.

Ging is a lazy stinky man

He has you in one of those backpacks with leashes when you go out in crowded places.

Cannot be bothered to go looking for you, so the next best thing is to leash you so you don't wander far.

You'll see something you think is cool and rush off, only to be stopped by a small tug pulling you back.

"Can you focus for one second?"

And for the first time he actually looks the part of a parent as he tugs you back towards him.

"Quit running around, pup."

God forbid the leash is detachable and you find out how to get free

"Yes, I need some help. My idiot got loose and I can't find them."

"Sir this is a Mcdonalds."

The one thing he made sure to tell Gon atop the Great tree, was to make sure he found somebody who always kept him on his toes.

"Why?"

"Life is better when the person you're with makes it interesting." Completely unaware you were only a few branches down listening.

Panics when you leave for hunter business because of that one time.

"Pick up your phone, idiot!!!! Damnit! How many times have I told you not to go by yourself!"

Waits for you like an upset parent that just caught their kid sneaking back in

Arms crossed, sitting on your sofa style

Waiting impatiently as you bump into the vase by the door after breaking the lock to get in.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?"

And you stare up at him with puppy eyes holding out a small box.

"I got you a souvenir." 🥺

And it's most likely broken but he appreciates it anyways.

All great hunters are liked by animals.

You get adopted by nearly all the apex predators you come across

And Ging is distressed because 'That is a fucking lion, Y/n. You can't just cuddle it.'

He tries to take you away from it, only for whatever creature had you hostage to growl at him.

Then it continues licking you and eventually whines when you get up to follow a very perplexed Ging.

(He secretly thinks it's cool)

Ging knows you're stupid, but that you're not an idiot

He knows you get lost on missions frequently and for the life of you can't not break something for five seconds.

But he also knows that you can tell when people are lying and being disingenuous

You hate Pariston for a reason

That and he lied to you once about something which resulted in you refusing to talk to him for weeks

He totally didn't care

Totally didn't try to send you a message only to see you'd blocked his number (how you accomplished that, he'd never know)

Totally didn't ask Kite to check up on you and make sure you hadn't died or something

What him? Never

And he also totally didn't swing by your apartment to leave a box of your favorite snacks on your doorstep

Couldn't be him 🙄🙄🙄

Yeah, he never tried to lie to you after that.

He refuses to baby you, but if someone makes fun of you for not being able to do something, he's kicking their ass

Makes you teach Gon some of your nen tricks

Just because he knows you're capable enough to do so

You're not a two star hunter for nothing.

Plus it means you two get to bond. Which is something he'd deny to his grave

Him, wanting his partner and son to be close???

You're delusional, he doesn't care 🙄🙄🙄

Yes he does and what he lied to you about was having a kid in the first place.

He just knew you'd spill the secret on his whereabouts is all

Gon thinks you are the coolest person he's met so far.

Alluka, who can grant wishes? She's cool

You, who took him fishing and caught an alligator by wrestling it????

You're his idol 🤩🤩🤩

And Ging is so damn proud because the next day his son brought home this huge sea monster he caught with your help.

"Why wouldn't I settle for a capable partner," is the biggest compliment he'll give.

He is a man child who fights for your attention with anybody. Not even poor little Gon is safe 😞

The barista's hand brushed against yours while handing you a drink?

Ging is dragging you out by your hand, glaring behind at the confused worker.

You're catching up with an old friend?

Okay, but they're clearly not that interesting if you ditched them for him. So quit wasting time and follow him to this cool thing he just found.

Gon wants you to teach him and his friend a new ability?

It's a family event now

Physically cannot say he loves you

He's just not used to it

And he can't even hint to it through romantic gestures because you don't understand subtlety

But, he's more physical with you than with most people

You get to jostle him around in your excitement and pull him everywhere you go

Doesn't mean he won't complain about it

He just won't push you off

"That's enough, pup. You'll make me dizzy."

"But I haven't seen you in a while, don't be all mean."

And he regrettably lets you keep your arms tight around him

You can't read maps and he's so surprised you accomplish anything that requires travel

Showers

He showers with you or he doesn't at all

He just wants to make sure you don't fall in there okay. 🙄You already trip on dry land, so imagine the wet tile.

It's because he likes the way you're so gentle when you wash his scalp. And because you always have the best scented soaps.

Kissed you one time and collapsed from embarrassment

Like a real kiss, not the little forehead ones he gives when you've been good.

Red in the face and unable to look at you properly

All because he said he stole your favorite sweet and taunted you for it.

You'd tackled him down and kissed him, swiping your tongue on his lips.

And he was 😳😳😳

And when you pulled away with a triumphant smile on your face, he actually did faint.

You were so confused because he didn't taste like your candy??? Did he lie to you again???

Gets flustered if Gon asks him when he's gonna marry you.

Like c'mon kid, don't say things like that!!! They're literally right there!

(Doesn't want to marry you because he couldn't take it if you decided you couldn't stand him after all. But he also really does because you keep his life interesting)

"I want what I can't have."

Didn't know he wanted an idiot until trying and failing so many times to get you to see he actually does care

MASTERLIST

[godhasatenderheart]

Hello there. As a fellow Christian, I really enjoy a lot of posts on your blog. I think sharing the love of God is very important. But one post on your blog gave me a bit of pause. You see, something that often causes me distress is the idea of people going to hell. I understand that free will and consent is important to God. I know that hell has to exist because there needs to be just punishment for sin in the world and that it's one of the biggest things Jesus has saved us from.

But still, I worry about people going there. I don't want people going there. It's part of the reason why the Great Commission is so important. So, the post that gave me a bit of a pause, as it often does when I see it crop up, was the part about a line being drawn in the sand and the wailing about "Why won't you accept us?" Presumably, this is referring to the LGBTQ+ community and how the Bible forbids homosexuality. I won't get into the parts about whether the translations are correct or not - it is an area in which I have doubts - there are plenty of other areas of which I do not have doubts. Do we not all have our struggles in our faith? I believe Jesus died for my sins, was raised from the grave, that He forgives me of my sins - He is my Lord and Savior. I've confessed this with my mouth and in my heart and to people I don't know and to you (who I also don't know). I think that is first and foremost the most important thing. And also the two greatest commandments as outlined by Jesus: to love God with all your heart and all your mind and all your strength and to love your neighbor as yourself.

With this in mind, can we hold sinners, those who have not yet accepted Christ to our same standards? They don't yet know the love of Christ! Jesus ate with prostitutes and tax collectors - those deemed the most sinful in His day. Didn't Jesus wait until AFTER he saved the woman about to be stoned for adultery before saying "Go and sin no more?" Should we not be throwing our doors open and inviting people in with no expectations - only love - presenting the Gospel "with all gentleness and respect" - teaching the love of Christ first, praying that God will turn their hearts towards them, and then letting the Holy Spirit do His work?

Instead, we say, "No. We do not accept you as you are. Do NOT come as you are. We have nothing to teach you." We say, "Do not come here. You will be judged by us. Our primary goal isn't your salvation; it's to get you to stop being gay / transgender / etc." "You don't get God's forgiveness and love."

The church is in decline for many, many reasons that don't just have to do with a "change in culture." God hasn't stopped working. There are people still seeking Jesus but getting turned away by the workers of the harvest. And I just... I have a lot of feelings about that. I don't think we should discard the Bible.

But does desiring the salvation of as many souls as possible mean I'm living a life of compromise? Am I saying "Did God really say-" or am I saying, "What about when God said this? What about when Jesus did that? Aren't those things important, too?"

Hello, beloved! Forgive me for not knowing which post of mine you're referring to, but I'll try to answer as best I can.

My main goal is to get people curious about God, because once they open their hearts to Him, even for a moment, He reveals Himself, and they become convicted by the Holy Spirit. I think it's okay to bring newcomers to God, help them find their footing, and then allow God to handle the rest. He is sovereign, and will guide them along the way.

The truth is, I am bisexual. I was also an alcoholic and abused marijuana during the time I found God. If, before I gave my heart to Him, someone had listed all my sins, I would have presumed I was condemned to Hell for eternity and not pursued a relationship with Him. Or, if I had pursued it, I would have felt nagging shame, believing I wasn't good enough and constantly fearing for my salvation. For this reason, I believe it's best to establish God's love and mercy first and foremost. Our God is forgiving, and He will forgive us if we come to Him.

If we lead with harsh criticisms when evangelizing, we give people the impression that God is cruel, tyrannical, and abusive. Since finding God, I've been able—by His power—to avoid sexual sin and stop using substances. It wasn't me who did this, but God. We can't overcome our sinful desires without Him, and when we approach people first with criticism, it makes them feel like they have to “fix” themselves before ever coming to God. This is backwards. When you break your arm, you don't try to cast it yourself—you go straight to the hospital. The same is true of our sin and God. We must go to our healer to be healed.

We cannot overcome sin on our own, so why do we, as Christians, expect people to cure themselves or make themselves presentable before coming to God? I believe in going out into the fields, gathering the lost sheep, and bringing them back to the Shepherd. He is the expert when it comes to His sheep. He knows exactly how to handle us, and indeed, He is the only one who truly can.

but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

—Romans 5:8 (ESV)

What do you wish? Shall I come to you with a rod, or with love in a spirit of gentleness?

—1 Corinthians 4:21 (ESV)

I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.

—Luke 5:32 (ESV)

[h-c-u]

The kids are alright pt 4

Summary: Domestic life with Iceman and your daughter

Pairing: Tom "Iceman" Kazansky x reader

W/C: ~800

Rating: PG

TWs: None

A/N: This is going to be the last part of this series for a while now, but I might come back to it in the future :) 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Masterlist | List of tags

- It's been a whole month since we brought you home, and if I'm being completely honest, I forgot that I wanted to make some homemade videos for you to watch when you grow up... Having you with us is honestly the best thing ever. Don't get me wrong, you're keeping us busy, but that's every newborn, so don't take it the wrong way. - you couldn't help but smile at the camera. You were sitting alone at your daughter's nursery while your husband was taking care of Astrea and letting you have a few moments just for yourself. - I know it sounds cheesy and corny, but I swear it's true - everyone loves you so much... Your grandparents, uncle Bradley, auntie Flo, uncle Slider, uncle Mav... I can't think of a time when we weren't alone, and you were in a crib... Everyone wants to hold you and play with you... Well, play is maybe too strong of a word just yet, but you developed a fascination with ripping paper and gods forbid if anyone leaves loose pages in your reach. - you laughed out loud. - Your tata found that out the hard way because you got your hands on some classified documents and started shredding them while he was on the phone. - you smiled, an echo of the laughter still audible in your voice.

- Anyways... I just wanted to tell you that no matter if in 15 years we'll be fighting about stupid things, or be mad as hell at each other for some reason or another, I'll still love you very much. I don't know if we'll ever watch those tapes together, or if you'll find them on your own somewhere in a closet and watch them in secret, I want you to know, that there is nothing you could do or say to change that, and even if we're at each other throats, you could still tell me what's troubling you, and I really hope that you will. - you smiled at the camera and turned it off. But after only a few seconds you turned it back off. - Oh, and if you find those tapes first, please just say "blueberries" next time we'll be talking, because we have a small bet with your dad about you being curious and a bit nosy, and I honestly want to win. And there might be ice cream and pizza for you in it if you will. Ok, that's it for now. Kocham cię... - you turned off the camera, but you still wanted to catch Astrea with Ice.

You started learning polish not long after you met Tom, and even though your accent was abysmal at times, you could carry on a conversation without much trouble, even with Tom's parents, and it was their native language. And when you were still pregnant, you two agreed to raise Astrea with both English and Polish present in her life. That's why both of you were already reading her stories in both languages and peppering in polish words while talking to her.

You quietly came down the stairs, because even though your amazing husband gave you time to rest, you preferred spending time with them.

You couldn't help but smile when you noticed what was happening in the living room. You turned the camera back on and pointed it at the two most important people in your life because they looked so adorable. Astrea was quietly napping on Tom's chest, still wrapped in a blanket you fed her in, and Tom just watched her with pure amazement and fascination painted all over his face, as if he still couldn't believe that she was actually here. 

He caught you in a corner of his eye, turned toward the camera, and gave you a giant smile. 

- Don't wake the child... She just fell asleep... - he whispered and you couldn't help but chuckle, because it just hit you how far he has grown from his callsign. You filmed them for just a few seconds longer, finally turned off the camera for good and placed it on the coffee table. You grabbed a book you were reading yesterday evening, gently moved the pillow from under Tom's head, and replaced it with your thighs. 

- Go to sleep, baby... - you leaned and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. He was up almost all night working, with your daughter sleeping soundly in his arms, and you had to take over only a few times to feed her, but now... Now he could fall asleep without any worries... 

If you didn't know any better, you might have proposed that he move to the bedroom, but you knew there was nothing that would convince him to move when there was even the slightest possibility that he could wake up Astrea. So instead, you started playing with his hair with your right hand, while you were holding the book in your left. You could see his face relaxing almost instantly, and his whole body melted deeper into the sofa while you were gently massaging his scalp. 

[wordson]

You will Think

My favourite punctuation mark is the em dash. Now that that's out of the way, don't be bothered by how often it appears in this write-up — apparently, people now link it to AI. Haha.

This will not be lengthy. The other personalities in me have woken up — I can hear their murmurs over my voice.

I woke up today feeling sad and dreadful. I wanted to take a nap but ended up sleeping through the night. I was reading with my dad when I went to the chair to rest. I could've gone to my room, but I really wanted to read. AMdroid tried its best to wake me up, but annoyed and tired, I shut my phone off. Funny and stupid, isn't it?

I had to go to school to sort something out and had to go early. Still, I spent a little more time on my phone — just one more minute for one hour. It hit me then — I've been applying the five-minute rule to the wrong areas of my life.

I deleted Instagram and TikTok because they fried my brain and thinking abilities. I had fewer thoughts — or at least fewer original ones. Every thought I had felt like I was piggybacking on someone else's. They also made me read less. It wasn’t that I found anything particularly funny or interesting — except Nick and Cassie, obviously — but I just couldn't leave the apps.

I already have an addiction (compulsion?) I'm dealing with, so I knew I had to quit before it got too hard.

At some point, Pinterest gets boring. I don't blame it — it wasn’t structured for long-term use. It’s like the best friend you only meet up with when you're back home and have no other friends. It’s the third friend in the friend group.

I tried YouTube too.

I lied — sorry. This is long.

YouTube Shorts will never be Instagram or TikTok. YouTube videos, though? I love them. I watched so many amazing ones — animated, live-action, everything. I found myself drawn to short animated films. I don't know why, but I love animation. I connect with the characters more when they're animated — I feel them more deeply.

Back to today.

While using my phone for "one more minute," I came across Eli Eli's write-up. I don't remember if I was searching for something or just scrolling, but I was curious and decided to check it out.

Oh. My. God.

I don’t know why I never considered that being a writer could also mean being an academic writer. No, it wasn’t an academic article, but I was genuinely surprised at how well-written and thought-provoking her work was. My day hadn't started off great, but it truly began when I read her piece.

Suddenly, I started having big thoughts.

I read more — articles, academic write-ups, character analyses, nonfiction fiction essays — everything. And then I thought: "I can do this too."

Personally, I believe that to be a good writer, you must be vulnerable. You have to connect with your readers and show parts of yourself. This is why I'm not a good writer. I cannot be vulnerable.

Which, if you knew me in real life, would surprise you — because I talk a lot. However, what people don't understand is that the more someone talks, the more they have to hide. I don’t know this for sure, though. Don’t quote me.

Reading Eli’s work made me realize that I could also be a writer by writing academic articles. I could still be remembered in some way.

This thought is choppy — I can’t hear myself clearly.

Earlier today, when I went to the library, I told everyone I left because it was too quiet. While that was true, I also left because I tried answering some questions and got stuck. I knew I had to go home, review, and practice more.

I was sad. I'm a law student, for crying out loud. If I flunk this, I flunk everything. Really harmful thinking — but it’s there.

According to Cicero, "Law is the highest reason implanted in nature which commands what ought to be done and forbids the opposite." I foolishly assumed this aligned with the positivist school. Though, to give myself some credit, I did have doubts.

That got settled in the end.

The real problem was H.L.A. Hart’s definition.

He described law as "the combination of primary rules of obligation and secondary rules of recognition." I mistakenly thought the secondary rules of recognition meant that the law recognized people in authority or something like that.

I asked ChatGPT — and before you judge, remember that I school online, so I haven't really connected with any of my classmates. The response I got was totally different from what I had assumed. I felt stupid.

Then I remembered the dream I had last night — in it, I was told to do the hard, nitty-gritty, overzealous work: Read the books. Read the articles. Then read people’s thoughts and interpretations. So, I sought out Hart’s The Concept of Law. I read the chapters that mattered and moved on to related articles.

Now I understand. I no longer feel stupid.

What’s the point of all this? I really can’t tell you. However, this is me releasing it all.

This is the end. Was it long? I think so.

If you read to the end, thank you for reading my inconsequential — and hopefully relatable — ramblings.

Or maybe, hopefully not. You are smart. You are intelligent. And you will do great things.

Fingers crossed — if Eli Eli is reading this: I love what you wrote and can’t wait to read more.

You should definitely check out her write-up.

[tgrailwar-zero]

Oh- oh, sorry, I... I don't think I was crying about Eli-chan's music...

I think it finally just hit me. It took me this long to... to process where I am, I guess. That this is real. That it isn't just the escapist dream of a dying soul.

I'm alive.

I'm alive.

I. Am. Alive.

... why am I alive?

Why was it me? Why couldn't it have been anyone else? Of everyone else, of everyone worthier, why was it me?

... I should stop with this, before I tear up again.

... if you've recovered Eli-chan's Akogare ~ Tion track I wouldn't mind listening to that.

KEEPER: "Oof. Philosophy now, too? Still. As someone who's seen a lot of war, there's not much point to asking 'why me'. You were either stronger, smarter, or luckier. Maybe a mix of each. Everybody is equally worthy, so it just comes down those three things. You had the winds at your back, and you survived. Now you've just gotta keep living."

SLAYER: "Right. The answer is not complex, it is simply the fate granted to you by the gods. You have been blessed by Bishamonten's fortune, to survive such harrowing battles. To wit, it is not a matter of 'why' or 'how' you survived, but what you will do with your continued blessing of life as granted to you."

KEEPER: "Just like a pendulum, huh… I really can't get a read on this guy..."

SLAYER: "Ahahaha…"

KEEPER: "Right. Solar Cell. Well, in the simplest terms, life here is peaceful. Not much conflict, people get along, and everyone's so curious about how to expand and develop this world that there's always some sort of work to be done."

He guided you off the bridge, walking for a bit down the winding paths of the Nameless City-- or what would eventually become the 'Nameless City', anyways.

BOOKISH NPC: [ Keeper! Keeper! I finished reading that book you recommended… the 'Iliad'! Did people like that really exist on Earth? Were you in a story like the Iliad? ]

KEEPER: "I don't think I was part of any epics like the Iliad. Though if you're done with that one and enjoyed it, there's the Odyssey."

BOOKISH NPC: [ Odyssey… ah, like Odysseus! Did you know Odysseus, Keeper? ]

KEEPER: "No, he was a bit before my time. Still, it's a compelling read. Go grab the data from the archives, and let me know when you're done. I'd love to hear your thoughts."

With a nod, the 'citizen' ran off. You noticed there was a bit of a skip in their step. Genuine excitement at the idea of finding some new, exciting story to read for the first time. The SLAYER chuckled.

SLAYER: "…Your Noble Phantasm is really something, re-creating all of that knowledge…"

KEEPER: "As I am now, I can't recreate as much knowledge as I'd like or access as much of my 'Library' as I'd like. I basically have to individually manifest books, so obviously I started with my own favorites. Luckily the Moon Cell's data and the Freyr's Crystalized Wisdom helps speed some things along, but it's still annoyingly slow."

SLAYER: "Haven't you manifested about 10,000 books? In addition to everything else you've been working on?"

KEEPER: "Like I said, it's been annoyingly slow."

SLAYER: "Ah- finally I think I'm understanding why people fear geniuses like us! Still, why haven't I seen any books on my exploits? I would like to put in a formal request!"

KEEPER: "I'll get on it."

SLAYER: "Many thanks! The Solar Cell will learn much from reading about me, I think! It's already grown so fast, but my appearance will cause a 'boom', certainly!"

KEEPER: "Sure, sure. And it's not like I'm terribly biased. I haven't exactly put any of my war campaigns in the library either. If they start reading about and-- heavens forbid-- start idolizing my king's lifestyle… talk about a worst-case scenario."

After some more walking, you eventually reached a small shrine. It seemed busy, a number of Solar Cell Denizens wandering about and presumably worshiping the god here.

You heard the sound of footsteps approaching, before seeing a familiar face- for a number of reasons. The woman who resembled CASTER.

The PRIESTESS.

PRIESTESS: "Now this is interesting, I wasn't expecting to see you come here so early. Have you come to offer up something to the Heavenly Divinity?"

PRIESTESS: "Just kidding~♡ As shrewd as I can be, I'm not going to hassle offerings from a valued guest. So, Keeper? Slayer? You've been treating them well?"

KEEPER: "We've been doing our best."

SLAYER: "How lucky! Once more fortune is on our side. See, our guest has been a bit... unsettled, it seems. So I figured they could settle their mind here."

The PRIESTESS frowned.

PRIESTESS: "Well... that won't do at all. This is a place blessed by the Sun, a peaceful and joyous refuge from the darkness beyond. What's bothering you? If there's anything I can do to help, simply ask. No problem is too small."

[heerocks]

CURIOUS CAT — the butterflies on y/n's stomach

SYNOPSIS! Curious Cat is an app that peaked three years ago where people use it to flirt with their crush anonymously and then suddenly forgot about it.

or wherein, Y/N was devastated when her crush, Lee Heeseung indirectly rejecting her in high school. Three years later, both of them have this unknown beef between them that even their friends don't know the real reason behind. One day, Y/N suddenly remembered and opened her C.C. account, and saw that someone by the name 'Ethan' confessed to her three years ago.

'It's way too early for this' heeseung thought rolling his eyes as he hid his phone on his right pocket while doing the best he can to ignore the fact that you've been staring at him for like 30 minutes straight now.

What did I do? That's the question that plague his mind. Are you angry at him? Did he do something wrong? There's gotta be an acceptable reason for you to stare at him like that, right? He tried to play it cool by sending soft smiles on your way but nothing fazed you. As a matter of fact, you didn't even tried to hide the fact that you're practically gawking at him.

Should I be nervous? He thought again, shifting his weight from left to right obviously in discomfort and overthinking things. This morning, instead of sitting behind you like he did last time, Heeseung sat a few rows on the right side, positioning himself diagonally away from you.

Jay thought it would be best to block all the 'distractions' (and that includes you) while he receive cooking lessons from him. And, heeseung couldn't agree more knowing he's a complete fool and a nervous wreck.

Not to mention, he'll willingly bend in front of you if that's what you want. Just think if it. What if, god forbid, he suddenly spill his plan on confessing to you using food as an excuse? That would wreck all his dreams and hard work to confess in the most perfect way the world would ever allow him to do.

If it's another scenario, maybe heeseung don't mind that you're indeed staring at him. Maybe he'll stare back, using the 'staring contest' as an excuse to study your features. Writing mental notes about what shaped your eyes are, how soft your lips looked and must've felt like, how cute you nose. Heck, he'll even note how you softly bite your lips whenever you're focus doing something. Bet he can keep the list going. That's how bad heeseung is down for you, so if it is a simple day, maybe heeseung wouldn't mind.

But no, right now? he do mind it. How can he not when you're looking at him, not with a loving eyes as he hope so but a look that can be called nothing but judgemental?

Another scrutinizing ten minutes of his life passed just by waiting for the class to start, and with you still gawking at him, heeseung can't help but to dramatically gasped for the much needed breathe of relief when he felt your eyes leaving him when the door finally opened that made all the people inside the room look in one direction. But, instead of a man in his late 50s like y'all expected to see, Ryujin was the one who invade your visions.

She quietly go inside, walking directly in front of the teacher's table ensuring everyone's attention is on her.

"Listen, they had teacher's meeting so no class for today—" The tuition-driven students erupt in series of excited shouts but Ryujin was adamant to stop it. "BUT!" the whole room fell into silent, "... but, mr. choi said that we should all go to our respective partners assigned for the midterm project and use the remaining time to finish it. The deadline was still due later this week, no exceptions."

Groaned was heard all across the room, but despite the complains, people started to stand and walked to their partners anyways. Whilst heeseung was the only one to froze on his seat, he doesn't know why he's so nervous to face you. Maybe it's because there's something on the way you give the 'look' that screams danger for him. Maybe he'll just run?

Though, before the man can even come up with an answer. He heard your voice, calling his name softly. "Heeseung..." Nevermind, he loves you anyways. Nothing's going to change about that.

He took time to calm down before turning his head to look at you who was now signalling for him to come. Heeseung did exactly what he was told. Taking the seat beside you with such amenable behavior. Fear not, you wouldn't need to say it twice and heeseung would definitely do it nonetheless.

The man in question awkwardly shifted his weight away from you though keeping his smile intact in hopes to distract your doubts. It was a failed endeavour, by the way as heeseung distinctively saw your eyes squinting on how weird he's acting right now.

Shit.

"So, i guess it's safe to say that procrastination didn't win?" Heeseung nodded, avoiding your eyes under the guise of observing his surroundings. "Chilling feels good knowing you finished the task early while seeing your classmates still doing something" He added, as heeseung felt himself slowly calming down. His instinct took over and the next thing he knew, his body automatically scoot closer to you. Funny how his eyes want to run away from yours though his body said otherwise.

"By the way, I need to ask you something, heeseung..." Nope. False hope. The nerves are back. He was busy panicking inside that he didn't even noticed how careful you choose your words, scared that one wrong word was enough to scare him away.

"Ask away" Heeseung's voice came out normal but it didn't came unnoticed on how it trailed off specially on the last part. You didn't replied or fired the question immediately just like what he hoped so. It was more like, you weren't so sure what you'll ask... or, if you still want to ask the question running amock through mind.

After a few seconds, you brave to finally start "Do you like someone?" Now, it's his time to think. Not that heeseung was doubting his feelings. He's just torn between saying yes or just denying it until he finally and officially confess. Ah, whatever. Whatever happens, happens.

"I do"

"Do you love giving them gifts?" You ask again, now, chasing after his eyes. Heeseung nervously gulped before silently nodding, afraid that his voice would betray him. "I'm not really good with words..." Of course, he isn't. If he did, he should've said that he like you a long time ago. It was long overdue.

"So, I tend to give them gifts to uh— make them feel special"

"Like flowers?" The bell rang, cutting you off. Heeseung was now celebrating mentally. He need to be away from you, asap. "Oh, look at the time!" Heeseung proclaimed frantically looking at his wrist, not even realizing he doesn't wear a watch.

"I... uh— I have to go, y/n! I still have something to do." He immediately grabbed his things from the chair. Heeseung was about to walk away when your hand caught the hem of his shirt. You didn't need to speak, he knew what goes on in your mind.

And, before heeseung realize words came out like falls, nothing beats your innocent face looking up to him. It makes him want to do everything you want even without saying it.

"I have cook—" You raised your brow waiting for heeseung to continue by laughing dead ass awkward. Somehow, he sounds like a crow.

"I mean, I still have to cook layla's dog food. And, cook coffee... comb my hair, as well as, jake's and hoon's. So... I'll see you around, okay?" By the time, heeseung said the last reminder, his voice became soft. His hands gently and affectionately pat your head. Surely, he's the father to the butterflies fluttering inside your stomach.

"Be careful on your way home, hm?" Heeseung finally walked away, leaving you a blushing mess.

What the hell are you doing to me, Lee Heeseung?!

chapter 46 — the butterflies on y/n's stomach

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GENRE! smau + written, on crack, slow burn, mutual pinning or past pinning, university au, kinda enemies to lovers troupe, heeseung is a simp, reader is kind of dumb, friends bullying friends

𖥻 notes! : updates might get delayed since i have upcoming exams this week >< but i'll see what i can do. And, this chapter is not yet edited so i apologize if y'all came with wrong grammar, spelling, and such.

𖥻𖥻 taglist! : @ckline35 @meinapricity @gugudone @xoxodinaryheroes @lov3niki @ahnneyong @raikea10 @bigtoewinwin @tlnyjoong @sungookie @uwudaizy @jeongintwt @paragonofroyalty @captivq @lavisha7 @prdxinvade @lockburn-castle @chaemmie @xtra-cheese @mimikittysblog @zhaixiaowen @pb-n-juju @luvkait @myjaeyunn @redm4ri @oceanyocean @diestheticu @liliansun @yenqa @xiaoderrrr @flower-lise @mymeloem19 @jungwon-kitten @hoonieluv @vantxx95 @asherbl @alexayoonlee @georgi-salva @mdavt @kyexvly @would-bee @jhopesucker @tiramis-hoon @noascats @beomibeom

likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated! ❤️

[stabbyfoxandrew]

not an aftg related sleepover ask so feel free to delete and ignore but this is a question I inflict upon everyone at parties so I had to send it

I need to preface this by saying that this question is just about embarrassment not consequences or pain or anything just embarrassment: what do you think is more embarrassing to be hit my a car or hit someone with a car?

cause apparently my answer is controversial I think i would want to die if someone asked me if I was okay and i was just lying on the street like god I would pick up the ribs that flew to the other side of the street and run away with like my broken leg or something nah I'm not staying there regardless of how hurt I am! keep in mind this is about embarrassment only not pain or consequences!

in case you are curious 8/12 people so far have said that hitting someone with a car is more embarrassing but one should not be counted because he's a first responder and I agree that hitting someone with an ambulance would be more embarrassing! (can you tell I'm fun at parties 💀)

also you should try hasselback potatoes I made thos yesterday and they are heaven! fucking heaven!

mwah

It doesn't have to be aftg related! It can be anything! I just love talking to you guys!

Also oh my god, you're right though. It would be so embarrassing. Like if, God forbid, knock on wood, etc, I ever got hit by a car it better knock me out. There's no way I'm LYING THERE IN THE ROAD like that with 200 rubber-neckers staring at me. And people asking if I'm okay?! NO I WAS HIT BY A CAR, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE THOUGH! STOP LOOKING AT ME BLEEDING OUT OR WHATEVER.

For real. Catch me crawling away from the scene to hide. Like that would be mortifying? Like I can't drive so I have no fear of ever hitting someone with a car. And I don't leave my house ever, so getting hit by one is very unlikely too.

Obviously I don't want either to happen but yeah. Getting hit would be so embarrassing. Like why the fuck was I in the road? Something stupid like picking up a coin/something else shiny I saw? Crossing when the sign says 'don't walk'? Saving a child's life? (That would be less embarrassing but still embarrassing.)

Or did the car come up onto the sidewalk? Like... Why did I not hear/ see it coming and get out of the way? Why is someone driving on the sidewalk?

Anyway, final answer: YES. Getting hit is more embarrassing. Especially because if you did HIT someone everyone... would be mad at you? Not like fussing over you and trying to help you?

Also I love the fact that you have your Findings in the ask. This question is hilarious and I'll bet you're super fun at parties. Look at me though I haven't been to a party since... I was a child... So I can't judge Adult Parties.

Also I love potatoes in all forms and if I weren't so goddamn lazy I would try them because I have like... three bags of potatoes in my kitchen right now.

sleepover weekend ask game!

[positively-mine]

Heya^^ I saw how your shop is open and I'd like to order a chocolate cake and a medium lemonade(just some regular relationship hcs^^) The fandom I'd like order my cake from is from BSD please^^

☾Ok some things about myself (so so so sorry if it's too much/long) Ok so for starters my name is Kristina but closer friends call me Kris, Cis fem - Capricorn - infj

☾Appearance wise I'm on the shorter side and have a dark brown pixie cut and dark brown eyes, I have a couple freckles and wear glasses

☾I tend to be more introverted when meeting new people, I can hold a conversation way better when talking to one on one so my attention can only be focused on one person and give them my full attention. One I get more comfortable with someone I tend to be more jokingly sarcastic and like to goof around but I'll always get the hint if they are not in the mood to joke around

☾I'm really passionate about psychology and painting. On the weekends or when I'm finished with work I tend to draw on my sketchbook to visualise my next painting while listening to video essays about different types of diagnosis and how they affect the brain and behaviour(my favourite video essays is Fear of forgetting by Clark Elieson, ok but srs it's so good) and my paintings mostly comsist of still life with warm colours

☾And god forbid if one of my friends lets me ramble about psychology cuz I'll turn a casual convo to a hole ted talk and go on and on until they tell me to shut up(plus I have a inside joke with my therapist that I turned the tables and her therapist)

☾That's kinda it, tysm for giving me this opportunity and don't forget to hydrate!!!!!!!!

character matchup [˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱ event]

hi Kristina! thanks for your order and sorry it took a while, I hope you'll enjoy and come again :)

credits at the bottom!

p.s thanks for the reminder, I just realized I only drank 1-2 bottles a day 🥲

I'm going to match you up with dazai or ranpo

for dazai, I can definitely see him taking an interest in you (similarly to how he was with atsushi)

at first he'd be curious because you're kind of quiet

however once you start warming up to him, he's curious to get to know you more

playful banter, a mixture of flirting as well, is thrown back and forth between the both of you

you're interest in psychology catches his attention too

he likes to listen to your take on how each diagnosis affects the way from how one thinks to how they behave

may or may not get into his, yours or both your mental state as well

once you start your speech on psychology, he won't stop you either

he'll sit there with you the entire time

giving you one of his signature smirk /smile

he's happy that you've been able to find your passion and drive in life

beyond that, he's glad that he can share a peice of his mind with someone else

would definitely be interested in your paintings as well

and the thought process behind it

questions you about every single detail

^ asks a lot of why questions as well

sometimes he ponders if your choice of art and colour as well are a reflection of your own mind

he likes to lounge near by and watch as you paint

falling asleep to the sound of your painting and the brush stroking on the paper

likes to call you silly nicknames such as kit / kitkat and so on

when you're both in the office, he likes to rest his head on top of yours and watch as you complete your work

he's bored out of his mind but at least you're there for him to disturb

Ranpo

similarly to dazai, he just likes to cause problems

will confidently strut over to your table and munch on his candies noisily while you're doing your work

don't expect much to get done

with you being his partner, it's like someone he can share his every thought with

(like an open diary essentially)

when you first met him, he was very pushy

always asking what you're listening to or what you're painting

sometimes likes to grab one side of the earpiece and listen to it beside you

but in the end he too, gets invested in what you're listening to and stays by your side

bratty bf

he'll joke with you back but sometimes he'll get upset

so you'll need to pacify him

preferably with candy

when you both get into deep talks he needs to at least have some form of skinship

either by holding your hand or leaning his head on your shoulder

or both

so if he's upset just sit with him and everything will be okay again

reblogs appreciated!

banners: dazai, ranpo,

[iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid]

I really don't mean to offend or anything. And I realise this is a personal question so no pressure to answer. However about that post you made about wanting to have kids. I'm a woman in my early twenties and I viscerally do not want kids. And your post for the first time had someone bringing up the "watching a person develope" aspect of having children. I figure that could be at least interesting to witness. So for the first I understand any motivation to have children. This is why I'm asking you. Because what you said makes sense to me.

So very genuinely I'd like to know how you're comfortable with the responsibility of it? Of a choice you can't undo and a lifelong commitment. You said you'll get your PhD. But with children right after, it won't stop your career, but won't it definitely mean you'll have less time for a field of study I'm assuming you're very passionate about? If not that, Won't it take away a lot of time for other things important to you?

Please don't misunderstand. I'm not asking bc I want to convince you not to have children (I'm asking because you're so sure of yourself so clearly you've considered this) on the other hand nothing you could say would convince me to have children. This really is just out of curiosity.

Being a woman I've been very much bombarded with people's opinions on motherhood and sometimes felt like I wouldn't have a choice in the matter. Luckily for me I do have the choice. But I am curious because many women do make the other choice, which I find truly unimaginable. My friends are around my age, therefore even if they're comfortable with the idea of children, they're not making concrete plans and my female relatives have already had children.

Anyway. I know that was a long ask but I'll reiterate please don't feel pressured to answer, I'm really just asking because I'm curious it's very much not actually important.

So I'm interested in the opinions of a women who does have concrete and realistic plans but hasn't yet had children.

no offense taken whatsoever! this is a good question and one i think is really worth answering because maybe you're not the only person wondering about this, you know?

under the cut because my answer got equally long, whoops lol

-

anyway, first off, i am of the very very VERY strong belief having children should be something you do when you're absolutely certain you want to do it, while not having kids should be the default. our society tends to teach us the opposite, but really, like you said, it's an irreversibly life changing decision. it's gonna demolish your finances, it's gonna get in the way of your career to at least some degree, and it is a vastly huge undertaking of responsibility. having kids shouldn't be a "well, idk, isn't that what you're supposed to do?" kind of decision, or god forbid a "my partner wants kids so i guess i'll do it" decision. and tbh i think that's a massive part of why poor parenting is such a prevalent thing. if you're not REALLY REALLY EXCITED ABOUT IT, how are you gonna give this new job the dedication it deserves?

all this to say: i'm certain i want to have kids because i've always wanted to have kids, even after looking at it through the lenses of "wait, do i only want this because it's expected of me? am i just afraid of growing old and getting lonely? do i just think babies are cute?"

and on the flipside, this is why i hold zero judgement toward people who don't want to have kids, in the same way i hold zero judgement toward people who, say, don't want to go into a phd for biochemistry. why would you do that if it's not something you really, really want?

in my case specifically: for a career, i can be a scientist with kids no problem, and honestly, i've always felt that my career isn't something i need to go full throttle on all the time. i don't want to be the top scientist in my field and churn out double digit publications a year, i want to teach classes and maybe run a small lab. i've always wanted a career that's not super serious, where i get plenty of free time, and raising kids is the thing that i most want to fill that time up with. also, even in my career my main goal is to be a teacher, a mentor, so i guess it all comes down to the fact that what i really enjoy most about science is helping other scientists develop, and like, that's the same concept as raising kids to develop into adults, in a way. it's just who i am and what i want to do, it's my skillset and more of a passion than the science itself ever has been (which is a pretty high bar!)

another thing to note: i had a pretty good childhood and good role models for parents. they for SURE had their issues and still do, but overall they were really, really dedicated to parenting and gave me a good impression of what parents are supposed to be like. i think i can give my kids a good childhood and raise them to be happy, healthy, well-adjusted adults. and that's not to say only people with good childhoods should have kids! my bf has a boatload of childhood trauma he's working through in therapy, and he also wants to have kids for sort of the same/opposite reason that i do: he knows a lot of what not to do, and he really feels that he can give a kid a better childhood than the one he had. plus he'll be such a good dad but talking about that makes my baby fever reach supernova levels so we'll just leave that there

lastly, on a personal/selfish note, i also want kids because i had a very large family growing up, which has gotten smaller and smaller over the years, and i want to be able to get back to something like that one day. i want to be the mom/aunt/grandma that hosts family parties where there's just a gaggle of children running all over the place and everyone feels welcome in my house. i want to be someone whose house is a safe place for a lot of people, not just my kids but their friends, too, and my friends and their kids, etc. etc., and this is of course possible without having kids of my own, but combined with the fact that i want kids of my own anyway... you get the deal

THIS ANSWER GOT REALLY LONG lol but anyway, point is, having kids is a huge decision in a similar way that throwing away 6+ years of my life to get a biochemistry phd was a huge decision. it's something that shouldn't be undertaken lightly, and only if you really, really, really want it. which i do, because raising kids is something i feel i'll be pretty good at and which i know i'll really enjoy.

[jerzwriter]

Why are you anti Ethias?

Hey Nonny,

I'm not into couple-combo names. (Have you ever seen a Casias or Kaythan on my blog? Nope...and you never will. Lol.) So, I was a little lost at first. But now that I've figured it out, I'm genuinely curious as to why you think I'm "anti"? I really don't know where you're coming from.

Sure, I've given my opinion (though not recently) on why I personally don't ship Ethan x Tobias. It's mostly because I think they'd fucking kill one another, but that's just my opinion. I never disparaged anyone for having a differing opinion. I like differing opinions... without them, life would be pretty fucking dull.

I know our fandom is toxic AF, so god forbid you state an idea or opinion. It seems many who don't share it take it as a personal insult or attack. And, who knows? I'm sure that's how some people here operate, but it's not how I do. I'm capable of appreciating other people's concepts and ideas, even if they differ from mine. So, I assure you, I'm not "anti" "Ethias", they're just not one of my personal ships. That's a real stretch, Nonny.

The only time I'd be "anti" would be if a pairing was unhealthy or immoral (such as non-consent, ped0, etc.). In those cases, I'd block the user (report if necessary) and move on. I have no time to waste on things like that. I'm the queen of "ship and let ship." I don't give a fuck what anyone else HCs, and I want people to allow me to HC what I want to in peace. It's a shame so few here seem to be capable of that.

I usually don't engage in this conversation anymore because it is the epitome of toxicity and lunacy in our fandom, but you were so off-base in your assertion I felt the need to correct you. I hope this has clarified things for you, and if it doesn't, please feel free to DM me. I'm happy to discuss it.

[heavenwontbethe-same]

Hey!! Long follower of yours but I've only recently been back on Tumblr and I just saw a post about Cordelia being the one who should have died in CoT. I was curious about it and read the tags and I'm already disappointed in Cordelia/CC. Because I really like Cordelia but I haven't read CoT yet, so if you're comfortable could you maybe elaborate a little? Just so I can understand if I should be prepared to be disappointed in Cordelia in CoT when I finally read it. (I don't care about spoilers so have at it). I'd really like to know your thoughts<3

hello! i would start off by saying that when you do read chot, to go in with an open mind because of course what i will be saying in this post is my own opinion and my perception of the books will obviously be different to how others see it. this post is going to be long and incoherent at points, i do apologise beforehand.

with that being said, i liked cordelia from the snippets we got before tlh even came out. i liked her in chog, even though there were certain moments that made me pause - her allowing her friends to make whatever assumptions or comments about her brother they liked without her ever blinking an eye, because she was too concerned with fitting in with them. but i still liked the book and still liked her.

choi is where i started to dislike her though, and it literally took me almost 2 years to finish choi because i found cordelia so insufferable.. in the very beginning of the book, alastair is looking out for her and wants her safe and out of trouble and says as much to matthew, but cordelia berates him in favour of her friend (page 17). at this point, cordelia knows the truth; if not in its entirety, then at least a considerable part of it. at the wedding reception, her friends are hostile to her brother despite all his attempts to be cordial. i believe at one point they even suggest that alastair made cordelia uncomfortable? the same alastair that sacrificed most of his life to protect her? and all before you're even a 100 pages into the book (page 96). she says, on page 297 to matthew, "perhaps you think i am terrible, still loving him." of course, she thinks it, she thinks alastair is kind and sweet and vulnerable, but god forbid she ever said any of this to her friends in her brother's defense. this post by @thepictureofsdr on cordelia and her continuous reluctance to defend alastair in any way shape or form is very well said.

and that was all just the sibling aspect of it. she continuously lies to lucie, her supposed best friend and future parabatai, about lilith and james and even matthew, while shunning lucie for keeping secrets of her own. lucie tries to talk to her, apologises for not telling her, but she can't move past it even though she literally did the same.

*chot spoilers*

in chot, during every battle or fight, she was reluctant to lift a weapon in order to not summon lilith. valid, but instead of seeking shelter, she would just stand there and wait for danger and have her friends babysit her while fighting off demons. there's a fight in chot where grace is inside because she can't fight. cordelia also won't fight but she's out there, not helping her friends fight them off, but also just standing there as a sitting duck waiting for them to attack??? and they eventually do attack because why wouldn't they, and three people are distracted from their own fights trying to save her. assuming you already know who dies, they die trying to save her here, all because she wouldn't lift a weapon but has to be in harms way anyway.

she hands off cortana to alastair, who not to mention lives with their heavily pregnant mother, knowing that demons now had a special interest in cortana after she became lilith's paladin. she eavesdropped on her brother and charles, when it was not her place to do so, she eavesdropped on james and grace and caused a whole other problem. she ran away with matthew to paris and led him on even when she knew she'd never get over james. she kissed matthew and ended up comparing him to james but still continued to kiss him anyways. she'd be in james' presence but think about grace even after james' continuous assurance that he felt nothing for her, and then she'd wish she was with matthew instead. every time she was in james' presence, she'd fixate on grace.

she did get more tolerable after she knew the truth, but that was such a small portion of the book and my opinion of her was already negative by then. she then goes on to rehash the lucie and lying thing even though it was resolved earlier in the book. the book ends with the epilogue stating that attitudes to her brother had changed because he had changed. and that was true, alastair wasn't closeted anymore and had changed, but cordelia follows it up with the line that he wouldn't have to worry about fitting in with her friends anymore, and that hit me the wrong way.

the overarching themes of her dynamic with most characters, whether intentionally or not, seemed to give off a holier than thou attitude. she never held herself accountable but was comfortable doing it to everyone else, even if her actions caused the problem in the first place. her relationship with alastair was particularly disappointing, given how much he sacrificed for her and how she was at times disappointed/ashamed to even be related to him. this just reminded me how this applies to edwina's character from the bridgerton show too, but i digress.

she never really had any character development throughout the entire series, so i would've preferred her dying instead of an actually interesting character.

[callmeghoulshit]

101 curious questions

1 16 36 78 83 100

LUCIIIIII I can always rely on you<3

1 - biggest insecurity

Oh my appearance big time. Especially my face and smile it just tears any scrap of self esteem apart quickly.

16 - Romantically, do you prefer men, women, both, any/don't care, or are you aromantic?

I think I'm aromantic but maybe I'm bi/pan? I've no idea what attraction is like so I don't know if I've ever felt it haha. Even so, it doesn't matter. I wouldn't be very good in a relationship anyways.

36 - What's your favorite book?

Most likely Sorcery of Thorns by Margaret Rogerson. Only read it once a couple years back but I still remember the title and author haha. It's my favourite standalone (at the time, heard something about a sequel) novel. I'm easy to please I mean a girl in a ball gown, holding a sword called demonslayer, sliding down a banister to chase after a monster to fight it solo? Yeah I'm in love.

Also ace rep with Scrivener's friend and bi rep from 🤌 Magister Thorn 🤌

"I like girls too Scrivener, if you're going to fantasise about my love life I insist you do so accurately" shut up I love you silly magic man.

I was also hella lonely at the time so my daydreaming was sky high and that book definitely helped me with inspiration. I still use terms I stole from it to this day.

78 - What's one thing you don't feel comfortable doing around your friends?

Dumb answer because I'm mostly really comfortable with my best friend but it's being "horny" over characters, not even that sometimes haha. It boils down to my appearance and how she must think of me. Like of course the ugly girl is being cringy and saying all these weird things. I can be vulnerable and trauma dump and talk about awkward things and my feelings with her BUT GOD FORBID if I try and say a man is pretty. I just feel stupid, like it isn't part of me? Or something I'm meant to do I don't know this is still new to me and it's all Sodo's fault.

83 - Do you like when people guess how you're feeling?

For the most part yeah. I'm bad at lying and hiding things about my emotions and I'm also bad at just straight up asking for help. So it's nice to have someone clock it and talk to me because otherwise imma just bottle shit up.

Only person I can't stand doing it is my mum, that shit just feels manipulative.

100 - Are you okay?

Yeah I guess. Besides the whole "needing someone to figuratively hold my hand because otherwise I never get shit done" thing. And my feelings towards my mum. And my inability to hold onto money. And my laziness. Yeah I'm alright.