#god can you imagine the sitcom this family would make

[semisolidmind]

I imagine 3rd and 5th having a little bit of a sibling rivalry over who the favorite daughter is, even though both Reader and Wukong swear up and down there are no favorites and they both love all their kids equally. When 7th is born Wukong gets the idea (albeit misguided) on how to end this rivalry is giving them a common enemy. (Again; MISGUIDED)

*3rd and 5th showing off skills and bragging to their dad as Wukong plays off as mildly interested*

*Reader walks in holding 7th*

7th: *Incoherent baby talk*

Wukong: 🤩 My Little Princess!!! *Rushes over and takes 7th from Reader* How are you, my precious little peach blossom? Were you a good girl for Mama this morning? Of course you were, by sweet little PERFECT daughter can do no wrong!

7th: *Giggles and Coos at her Baba”

Reader: 😒 Wukong… This isn’t going to end well.

3rd and 5th: *New Enemy Unlocked*

Eventually, after a misadventure and a stern lecture from Mama, 3rd and 5th agree it stupid to be jealous of their baby sister and make up with each other. And Wukong ONCE AGAIN learns that when you play stupid games you win stupid prizes.

on this episode of the hit family sitcom "here come the suns"

fr this is such a cute idea

[2-dsimp]

How did Nokka help Quio raise Peina? It's really funny to me especially after reading him trying to look after his darling and almost burning the house down while using the microwave. I can imagine Quio would be good with her as a teen but Nokka? that's sitcom material right there.

『Featuring your Teen! yandere Husband/Dilf raising Peina 』

——-;———-;———-

“OW FUCK this little shit just bit me! How the hell does it hurt, when she doesn’t even have full grown teeth?!”

Teen! Nokka cursed as he felt his ankle being bitten by baby Peina who had long forgotten her pacifier upon the expanse of the carpet. And had somehow managed to crawl her way near his feet undetected since he was absorbed in watching the superbowl. His ruckus caused Teen! Quio to groan in exasperation and rub at his sleep ridden eyes.

“I’m trying to act out an important scene and you’re making a big deal over getting bitten by a baby? I’m starting to think I’m a single mother of two now.”

Teen! Quio briefly set down his script and let out yet another heavy sigh as he trudged towards the infant with a milk bottle in hand.

“Just—Here, take this bottle of milk and feed her. She’s probably hungry, which is why she’s biting you.”

He one handedly shoved it into Nokka making him grunt out in surprise from the impact of the milk bottle arbitrarily hitting his face. But paying no mind to it Teen! Quio merely picked Peina up cooing at her before side eyeing Teen! Nokka with a judgmental raised brow and a disappointed tsk.

“And Watch your fucking Language! She’s just a baby”

“Motherfucker you just—“

——-;———-;———-

God bless Quio’s maternal instincts for not only having to take care of Peina but his best friend as well while his parents were deployed. Nokka helps by providing refuge and just doing what he can to feed Peina and that’s about it in this particular stage that is. Since This takes place when Quio first started to get settled in with Nokka after he spills the tea about his family situation.

[slime-sandwhich-nom]

Don’t suppose you have any headcanons for Cosmo’s parents are their dynamics? I saw your post earlier and felt kinda bad for Mama Cosma (until she got toxic with Cosmo lol)

Also, I don’t mean to make u uncomfortable but I keep thinking about Cosmo blowing up half of Fairy World when he was born so I imagine how rough the pregnancy was.

ALRIGHT SO!

let's see ...

To be honest, in my head Cosmo parents were like those super sappy couples, kind of like Cosmo and Wanda are right now. Or like parents in a sitcom during the 90s.

Then schnozmo came in, and everything was still super great. No toxicity nor abuse, nothing.

Just a family of three in fairy world ( + personally I don't think any of them had any thoughts on godparenting.)

Then Cosmo came in.

I haven't really thought of it but it's kind of like this

happy family + new member of the family + somehow inherited powerful powers from jorgen side of the family and this is where shit goes downhill.

it's a whole series of events where they wanted to take Cosmo away because he was too dangerous (and strong), then the abolition of new babies, then assuming papa cosmo died (in my head it was because of a failing organ after getting turned into a fly, the same cosmo had a surgery on in the og series or something like that) then schnozmo went off and it was just mama Cosma all alone with this power baby she ended up attached on in a very unhealthy way.

it's like if the entire family slowly, very slowly crumbled and she held onto the first and only thing that was left of it, becoming clingy, toxic and neglective of cosmo actual needs.

also I do imagine her being sort of a boy mom in general.

for the pregnancy part I assume it was easier than Cosmo's only because they at least knew what to do.

Cosmo struggled so much because it's been thousand of years since the last baby, and he didn't even know what to do when he went to labor.

also by the baby flashback he seems pretty big for a normal sized fairy (taking poof as a comparison.) so..that was something !

I guess that was because of the jorgan genes.

(it can always be that poof was just odd shaped, though.)

But back to the dynamics (and headcanons)

- papa cosmo was generally a very calm guy, he's the true malewife staying at home taking care of the kids while mama Cosma goes to work.

- always cold for some reason (thank God mama Cosma is a living furnace, much like Cosmo.)

- he always had health problems, which lead inevitably to his death. (Organ failure.)

- there's a tiny bit of size difference between him and mama Cosma, she's taller and bulkier while he is more shorter and skinny.

(if you have seen the design post, you'll get a better idea of the size difference.)

- he gets extremely flustered and very easily too with mama cosma

- he died kind of..WHILE he was a fly because he was kind of already dealing with his organ failing.

To put it short, the organ fairies have that makes them shapeshift (which I don't remember the name for the life of me) was already failing, and when he got turned into a fly he..got stuck like that. leading to him to die because of it.

This means Cosmo failing organ that he replaced with surgery is inherited!

- it's clear Cosmo took the majority of his traits from his father, and this meant mama Cosma was always more attached to Cosmo than to schnozmo (who was also pretty similar but because of his big nose it didn't do the same effect) because she just..saw her husband in Cosmo.

- papa cosmo liked to knit and cook :]

- he probably had those nerd jobs like scientist or something. I remember seeing somewhere someone saying that papa Cosmo's job had to do with researching about humans which would help for the future god parents (assuming they need to learn how a human works, talks and behaves for future disguises and to make sure your god child doesn't die immediately) and its really cool so I took it. So whoever had this idea, credit to them.

- mama Cosma job was probably pretty simple, like a maid.

- in my head, despite mama Cosma putting all of her attention on Cosmo, she was still super clingy to schnozmo too just not as much and this lead to schnozmo desperately looking for a way to get away (since we saw in the show cosmo was like trapped in his own house at that point, assuming schnozmo had the same treatment.) and that's how he ended up in the crime world.

^^^ always assuming that she was starting to get too clingy with her own kids because of papa cosmo dying

- super straight thin hair papa cosmo x super thick curly hair mama Cosma (which lead to wavy hair Cosmo and schnozmo)

- this is a general headcanon for fairies, but I enjoy a lot how in the tinkle bell movie (1953) whenever she gets mad she turns all red, so now all fairies in FOP do.

- also, another headcanon but it's more Cosmo centered.

As much as I enjoy Cosmo, the og show brutally butchered him and since I can't go against canon that he's now an idiot and has a high pitched voice, I present to you these two headcanons.

(more theories than anything but I embrace them as my headcanons.)

vvv for context they're talking about pilot Cosmo and specifically the line "I gotta get this thing (wand) fixed."

And! The scene where Timmy eats part of Cosmo brain, which is also a reason why later on he gets slow and more incompetent.

+ after Timmy they retired and got their very earned vacation, which helped Cosmo a TON as we can see how in a new wish he's back being an actual decent person and competent again, but still has some side effects like the high pitched voice and being rather slow to get things.

Credit to the original commenter of course.

And yes, this doesn't change that he sucked in school. Cosmo was never academic smart, he was always street smart, I can see him sucking ass in school still.

Also with this hc we can have the trope that Cosmo went from awkward shy guy > smug happily married man because I love that trope.

I think that's it, from what I remember at least.

[p1zzaparty]

i for one would love to hear the remainder of ur thoughts on maggie tozier…

EEEE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING!!! This means so much coming from you Kat 😭

okay a few things to note before i begin

This is a lot

Its a lot of me redoing her from the ground up, her personality, her looks, her background, her relationships etc, etc.

So just know, im taking like a thousand creative liberties with this

To begin i based her looks on the character Deirdre Barlow from an old brit soap opera called Coronation Street.

I imagine she literally looks like her kids, they get almost 90% of her genes and look like mini versions of her. Though she perms her hair to fit in with the trends, and tv has sold her a bunch of at-home perm styling kits. She's got pronounced jowls like Richie does, he probably has her wide nose too. Her fashion is very on brand for the time with lots of sweaters and jeans and big clunky jewelry.

I always imagined, much like every little homo, Richie got a lot of his fashion from his mama..

and cartoons.

She's average height, and probably is on and off diets but never takes it too seriously. Besides she enjoys baking and is always trying some recipe she saw Julia Childs make. She's kind of a stocky woman, it just runs in the family to be sorta squarish and have this bulldog look to them.

As for personality i personally never cared for Kings description of her as a kind of wishy washy woman who cried at everything Richie did or said.

For me i liked to think someone like Richie needs a mom who matches his energy and can take on his rambunctiousness. Even if it takes grabbing him by the ear and dragging him back inside to get a verbal slashing. She's not overly dominant or strict, just used to Richie always mucking up mud and knows how to rear him back even if he still embarrasses her in public sometimes with his trashmouth. I mentioned this before but i see Maggie as one of the, if not ONLY, better parental figures in the loser club. She genuinely cares about Richies friends because of how few and far between there is. Any kid in her house is her kid, she feeds and provides a safe place for anyone he brings home. Even if she doesn't understand some of their interests, or lingo, or fashion statements, or music. She's a moms mom, always referring to any kid as 'hon' 'baby' or 'sweetheart.' She can be fun and doesn't take anything toooo seriously, but she still cares about appearances. She's like an average sitcom mom who wants to look like a good mom and have a normal family with a happy life. She's also, a giant dork.

Much like her son, she too is kind of a loser. She's got that Tozier awkwardness, always making jokes where there shouldn't be, laughing too loudly/obnoxiously, always making references to pop culture even if nobody in the room has a clue what they're referring to. She doesnt really have a lot of friends 😭

She definitely tried, oh my god did she try. She would bake goodies and strap baby Richie into one of those backpack carriers and go around the neighborhood trying to introduce herself and her stinky ugly baby. And it was hard, Derrys an old, OLD small town. Backwards, judgmental, harsh, hateful. Unfortunately she just wasn't that privy with the other moms around her. But she desperately wanted to be, being a stay at home mom is lonely work. She dreamt of just being that sitcom housewife that makes the perfect dinner and snaps her fingers to clean the house in an instant and talks, and talks, and talks on the phone. She wants in on the mom gossip. She wants to be apart of a community SO badly.

Sonia is one of her few mom friends and even then that's more of a obligated friendship, their only common interests being their children and television. She kind of finds Sonia annoying and doesn't approve of her parenting methods, always rolling her eyes when the phone rings while Eddies staying the night, knowing its some new task she'll have to force the boy to do. Though she enjoys that Sonia will listen to her blabber, even if shes probably just sitting and watching tv while Maggie drones on about this and that and giving an assuring "uh huh" as a sign of life. Maggie's such a tv head too, i love to think she enjoys watching Cheers the most along with various soap operas and game shows. Her family bonds over tv with tv dinners on tv stands while they parrot tv quotes at each other. She probably has to shoo Richie away whenever Cheers is on, needing time to debrief and mumble to herself about Dianes complicated romances. And shes got a crush on Fraiser, god you and your mom have crushes on wimpy mama boys in suits lordd

I based a lot of her personality on Calvins mom from Calvin and Hobbes

I played around a bit with her background. I know she's depicted as Catholic but i always imagined she grew up Jewish, only quitting the practice when she and Went got married. Her views on religion are mixed, not wanting to really skew her children in any direction, but celebrating Christmas to fit in with everyone else in Derry. Not that it really helped because she never took them to church. Evil bastard child and her half demon brother whos annoying. Her and her parents relationship are a bit if not totally strained, they probably disapproved of Went back when they first met as teens. Their reasons were based mostly on Wents social status, but they were also just very critical of Maggie and every choice she made. She always felt suffocated by her parents and Went just made her feel clear and airy. Though it was mostly puppy love that kept them together at the time, their love would continue to blossom over the years as they got older and older. They truly loved each other.

I had this whole idea that he and Maggie were young lovers at 18, falling in love like it was the movies as they hid it from their parents. But she would end up pregnant with Rachel like REALLY early on, and it would kind of "ruin" any "plans" they had of running off together and going to some local college while Went worked. Which only added more strain to her and her parents relationship as they went off to have a small shot-gun wedding at a courthouse. Only able to afford a dress and flowers at the time, but she still looks back at it fondly and probably passed her dress on to Rachel later in life. She is still in contact with her parents but only rarely do they go visit, Richie hates the smell of his grandpa and always tries to rile them up by doing impressions of Mickey Mouse.

She's one of the youngest mothers in Derry, only making her more of an outcast in the judging eyes of others, but she loves her kids more than she ever felt she was loved as a child. She always wanted a girl, just enjoyed shopping for one and bonding with one and brushing their hair and decorating their room and doing their nails and makeup together. She adored Rachel, she was exactly what she dreamed of when she thought of raising a little girl. Their relationship is really close even if Rachel began to pull away towards her teen years. (I have SO many ideas for her as well 😭)

Much like her, Richie was a surprise/accident. She never really imagined herself caring for a boy and found it a bit more difficult, especially since their age gap is a bit wide. But even through her rolling eyes and yelling Richies full government name when she finds her nightgown cut with eyeholes in it for his ghost costume, she loves her son.

Their relationship is VERY much like Linda and Gene. While she doesnt care much for Richies crude humor and snappy quips, she cant help but hide a smile sometimes when she hears him and Rachel bickering back and forth. She genuinely thinks her son is really funny, just needs to tone it down a notch sometimes and not be the loudest voice in the room. God, shes probably taken him to talent shows at school. Tying Wents best looking polkadot tie around his neck while he nervously flips through his note cards, getting his glasses all sweaty as he quietly asks if maybe they, um, can just go home instead. And she'd sigh and clean his stupid thick glasses for him and tell him hes going to do wonderful. "You're funny Richie, real funny." And when she see's him waddle up onto the stage, nervous, scared, and tiny. Her smile would be bigger than her heart, having to flash him a healthy thumbs up to boost his little confidence. But of course he would fumble, sputtering every joke, never getting to the punchline, or getting their too early, and he'd be too quiet for the people in the back to even hear him. And Maggie would be the only one clapping, the loudest she can too. That's her funny guy. She lets him cry to her and wipes his tears with her sleeve. She never bought into the way most moms treat their sons, she wanted Richie to grow up loving someone with his full heart. Even if it means she coddles him sometimes.

And her and Went have a very loving relationship, very average and kind of mundane in a sweet way. They're very genuine, Wents sort of a passive guy who listens to his wife nightly rants about her day and enjoys it. He loves her more than his vocabulary allows him. Simple guy, loves his wife, laughs when his kids curse at each other, works wayyyy too much.

God this family

I think that's the brunt of my thoughts, most of my ideas are just small little things that add to her greater personality. I also loooove parental parallels so there's always tiny shit between her, Richie, and Rachel even.

In chapter 2 i think she's still alive, Went died from liver cancer a bit into Richies 30s (Toziers are kind of functional alcoholics.) So now she resides in Florida, where Richie bought her a nice home near the beach. He doesn't visit, or call that often which depresses her a little. But she understands, plus Rachel still often comes by with her children to visit and catch up.

I have list long notes on all the Toziers, they're genuinely one of my favorite fictional families and i literally highjacked them and made them my own 😭

OH! and i imagine she's got a collection of antique clown decorations. Vases, paintings, statues, gnomes, you name it. It's why Richies not very fond of them. Or going into her room much.

Tldr; Your mamas a loser like you

[melishade]

I love the way you wrote Primus and the Primes! I feel like they'd make a great sitcom. What was your inspiration for their personalities? Was it the books or other Transformers media? Maybe your own headcanons?

In Between OVA

It was mainly from the books, like the Covenant of Primus, and then also headcanons spouted throughout the fandom and through online friends.

Because at the end of the day, the Primes are like siblings thrusted into the role of god killers to protect the universe. They're not stable or regal or mysterious like show continuity have chosen to portray them, if they ever portray Primes at all. They're all idiots trying navigate the universe. They are a family with their own quirks and personalities and opinions. Bringing them to life was absolutely fun.

I've made some tweaks to how certain Primes are portrayed, like Megatronus. Megatronus has constantly been portrayed as the big bad. The Fallen, the one who went against his fellow Primes and killed Solus in order to have unlimited power. In the Covenant of Primus, he let his anger get the better of him due to the other Primes own failings and treatment of him and it led to him killing Solus. He goes into exile willingly, out of shame and hope that he can become better than what he was. There are still remnants of him having a temper in the OVA, but Megatronus has learned to control his anger from his moment of exile. Although he did lose his cool after the whole Mikasa comment that Eren said.

Vector is a recluse. He barely hangs out with the others unless he absolutely has to. He'll just stay hauled up in his pocket dimension unless he needs to take care of something or if he's asked to do so. And because of his ability to see through the veil of time, I feel like he would know more than he's letting on, but would intentionally withhold information unless absolutely necessary to share. I'd like to imagine that Vector sees a multitude of possibilities, so he also sees how his fellow Primes will react to certain things he'll say. Vector is a patient mech, able to handle the weight of his power, but he couldn't help but get angry at his fellow Primes and creator regarding what happened in the cave.

In regards to Onyx, I'd like to imagine that he would be the most sympathetic to any and all living creatures. I'd also like to imagine that he felt most connected to Ymir because of his ability to connect with any and all living beings across the galaxy with his mask. He can see their dreams, their life, their pain. He felt Ymir's pain and was so relieved to see Ymir safe and sound. And because of his ability to connect with all life, he would absolutely come to Predaking's defense while Prima would not.

Solus is the Forgemaster, the builder, but she's also someone that values justice and also has a temper. She values justice because she was needlessly killed herself by Megatronus, and while the two of them have reconciled over it and imparted their wisdom onto Mikasa, Solus is still angry at the fact that Primus is considering showing Eren mercy because of the injustice he has wrought. I'd also imagine her having a bias with Lara simply due to the fact that her abilities allow her to create anything, she's earned her honor, and she has a hammer.

And I know that Alpha Trion is Optimus' mentor and friend, but he's a shady librarian and we should all accept that. He was constantly writing the future and could have altered it any time he wanted but simply chose not to. And while he might have been thinking about the greater good, I make sure he gets called out/acknowledges his own decisions in putting Optimus down a difficult path.

Liege Maximo just exudes Loki vibes, from his appearance to his darts to his silver tongue. He was also the one causing the most damage to the Primes and manipulated Megatronus which prompted the Fallen to kill Solus. Sure, they've all reconciled over it, but they still hold it over Maximo from time to time. At least I believe they would.

Meanwhile, Prima is the leader. The one with the most responsibility and the damning mistakes. And in the Covenant, Prima made some rather horrible decisions. The catalyst for the Primes falling apart, at least in my opinion, was him creating that list of who was most like Unicron. On top of that, he let the Predacons die during the Great Cataclysm because he feared them, which is why Onyx and Prima were having that conversation regarding Predaking, Darksteel, and Skylynx. He still cares, but his responsibilities have taken a heavy toll on him no doubt.

Nexus and Amalgamous are tricksters in the Covenant of Primus, but I'd imagine because of their status that would take important matters seriously, like Optimus' fate and what not. Meanwhile, Quintus is more serious, focusing on the logic and reasoning behind every decision he makes and every experiment that he's working on. Alchemist is basically his Cyberverse self, specifically Maccadam. Micronus is someone that I'd imagine gets annoyed very easily, but still cares.

And Primus is the one that allows them to just be. He lets them act freely and lets them speak freely. He values their input and their individuality. Their flaws and imperfections. He loves them all, yet feels guilty about leaving them behind and putting them through turmoil for the greater good. He is a benevolent god, but he can be neglectful. He will try to do better.

Their personalities and powers were supposed to be explored in Eren's trials, but again, I have no idea what's going to be happening from now on. I am hoping for the best, expecting the worst though.

Also, thank you for resending this ask after I accidentally deleted it lol

[yuukei-yikes]

i read ur recent shinaya future comics and like.. i can tell it seems theyre gonna get in a situationship and whatnot but also i think it would be really insane for shintaro to father ayano's baby without them ever getting together again (so he's like haha mission accomplished 🎉) but ends up starting a thing with kano somehow instead (so then he's like mission compromised😅🎉?). its crazy but it would make things more funny and convoluted when it's already super complicated. super ooc probably though LMFAO but if we want to be putting them in sitcom situations

no like. its DEFINITELY like this. i dont mind "spoiling" this because like, i have no clue how it ends and also, idk if I'll write more comics since it is all based on vibes and what i feel like drawing but im purposefully making it seem like ayano and shintaro will get together mostly bc i have. no idea where i could take it. i could take it a million different places. knowing me, kanoshin IS in the mix.

For one, if i make a next comic, it'll be a similar situation that it was in this part 2, but with ayano telling the mekatrio about it instead. and kano hmmm well he certainly! receives the information!

like ayano and shintaro... SURE they feel. a certain way towards each other. god knows what that "certain way" is. not... romance. but definitely not simply friendship. a secret third thing.

i definitely think they'd maybe kiss or something. and then look at each other like eugh why did we do that... i can even imagine them hooking up for real but its a one time thing and they both come out of it like EUUUGGHHH WHY DID WE DO THAT but get the baby👶 im not even trying to be "sexual" or anything baby making is just annoyingly involved with this who would've guessed💔 and like itd be pretty funny if they make this huuuuuge deal out of the artificial insemination thing then. it happens normal style and they hated it and dont even get back together sorry its funny. sitcom situation worthy even

these two with such complicated feelings for each other getting in this family situation... yknow!! makes them reconsider feelings. its a classic! whether they come to the same conclusion from 10 years ago or not... depends i guess. but i definitely look at their specific relationship with aroace glasses i must admit lol

at the same time, in this "storyline" where shintaro and ayano dated then broke up, shintaro ALSO had a situationship with kano at some point, post shinaya breakup. LOL. like the kanoshin is ALREADY in there. but like... is the kanoshin past... or PRESENT?? *thunder* what if there is a reason kano reacts so strongly to ayano and shintaro suddenly getting in this weird family dynamic and now possible baby planning? and what if the reason ISNT out of his over protectiveness for ayano and the typical haha i hate shintaro? what if he's... DATING shintaro during these comics ive drawn? im not hinting at anything. im genuinely asking. like idk. why not. itd be funny for sure.

SO, despite it seems that way, IF i end up making more comics of this scenario. idk if ayano and shintaro would end up together, if they get baby normal style, if shintaro says ew no im not artificially inseminating you youre crazy, if shintaro says yaaay lets do it lets go to the doctor right now, if shintaro is actually also dating or gonna be dating kano. endless possibilities. i could write you 10 seasons with filler episodes if i wished (and i do)

[yandere-toons]

Sooo I wanted to drop by with some platonic yandere metal gear solid headcanons! 

-i'm just imagining solid snake becoming a yandad! for this little kid he encounters on a mission. It's unknown why they were there, but that doesn't stop snake from being protective. Maybe he encounters them back at Shadow Moses? No matter how he encounters them he's definitely going to be like the overprotective father you see in sitcoms lmao. 

-I can see Otacon being like the nerdy uncle or nerdy second father for this kid, but since he's a platonic yandere too he'd definitely use his special inventions to keep an eye on the kid. He'd also just make random ones for them to play with

-As for Meryl, she'd be a yanmom! for sure. She wouldn't hesitate to get all fierce and take down anybody posing a threat to this kids safety. She'd probably be unsurprisingly pretty good at keeping the kid calm.

-Ooohhh boy, here's Liquid Snake. I can see him trying to be a better father figure for the kid than snake out of sheer spite for snake initially, but he accidentally grows attached to the kid over time and is like "shit". He'd brag at every chance about how he's the better father than snake.

-I can see Revolver ocelot doing his gun spinning trick to impress the kid, too. I love the idea of ocelot just growing attached to this little kid.

-Psycho Mantis would be surprised if the kid wasn't scared of him and thought his abilities were cool. He'd def become a platonic yandere for them immediately because of it. 

-depending on how old the kid is, sniper wolf might teach them how to use weapons for their safety. 

-Oh God imagine the reaction of Meryl, Snake and Otacon once they realize Sniper Wolf, ocelot, and Liquid are also obsessed with this child 💀

Now, for the later games! I'd have to brainstorm some more headcanons for this part, I'll keep you updated if I come up with anything.

-I can see Raiden being like an older brother to the Reader. He'd definitely be the type to get on their case about their crappy sleep schedule and eating habits, he'd be like a mother sometimes lmao. 

-When Sunny eventually comes along, I can see her being like an adorable younger sister to Reader, constantly clinging to them and making sure they're okay. 

I'd love to hear any of your thoughts as well! I'd love to hear what ideas you have for the characters as a dysfunctional yan family.

[chronic-cynic]

@pessimisticgh0st you asked for anime recommendations, so I am obviously going to jump at the chance to give them to you. You’ve dug your own grave, sorry.

Madoka Magica - a 12 episode anime that fucks up your mind and makes you lose your will to live. A classic. It’s short, so it’s not much of a commitment, and it’s perhaps the best anime out there. I’d recommended this before, but I’m hoping you forgot everything I said about it so you go in blind. Brief summary: 14 year old girls gain magical powers and have to fight witches. Recommending this anime is always very fun :) There are also 3 movies, but the first two are recaps of the series, so only the third movie (Rebellion) is relevant. This series will not leave my mind. This is the lesbian show.

A Silent Voice - a movie about a former bully making amends to the deaf girl he bullied. I normally hate this trope, but it’s done so well here, god. It really makes you empathize with both of them, especially since they were really young when it happened. Depicts social anxiety in the most accurate way possible. Absolutely beautiful film (I think Tori would love this film). Trigger warning for bullying, ableism, suicide, and violence (I may have missed something, so be cautious). If you aren’t doing anything today, I swear to god, watch this movie.

Romantic Killer - the aroace show. Not a favourite, but it’s definitely good. It’s about a girl who has zero interest in dating being forced into a dating simulator game by a wizard. She does her absolute best to ignore the romance that is forced into her life, and by the end of the show, she becomes very good friends with all of her love interests (found family for the win). A lot of people misunderstand this show, saying it’s anti-aroace which is absolutely ridiculous because the whole point of the show is that you can’t reduce people to mere love interests, and that romance can’t be forced onto people. It does have a lot of romantic elements because it’s a rom-com, though, which makes me cringe a lot of the time, but it’s good anyway. It’s a very funny show with a strong-willed main character. Trigger warning for stalking and sexual abuse, both of which are very well handled in the show. On Netflix.

Neon Genesis Evangelion - it’s a goddamn ride. Another classic. The main characters are so well written that you feel like they’ll crawl out of your screen and live in the real world. And, if you relate to one, it’s like the show is grabbing you by the throat (this is definitely not me talking about Asuka, nope). Touches on every existential question imaginable. Gives you a headache. 10/10. You should probably look up trigger warnings because there are likely a lot. On Netflix as well.

That’s all I can think of for now.

Edit: I’m adding two more shows but neither are anime. I promise they are both worth it, though.

Daria - a sitcom that aired from 1997 to 2002 on MTV (my profile picture is the main character). I’ve been watching it for a bit now. Haven’t finished it yet but it’s very good so far. The main character is very similar to Tori, except she isn’t as miserable.

Pyramid Game - a Kdrama about a class that plays an oppressive game that picks on the weak. I don’t watch many Kdramas, but the plot intrigued me and now it’s an absolute favourite. There’s a canon lesbian character and an implied sapphic romance. It’s also an all-female cast which I love, and the main character is incredibly smart. Here is where you can find it (use an adblocker).

[longeyelashedtragedy]

What are your most vanilla headcanons? Line what are your missionary position thoughts about Frank et al

Ohh at first I read this literally and was like hmm, is Frank a fan of missionary? This is a good one, I'm really horn dogging it these days but I'll take a peek into my soul for the vanilla that lurks within:

-Maybe this is kind of basic, but I think Frank really likes to be able to lie around reading a book with his uh, partner. This then becomes a bit tricky with Mason (and with Jamie who totally does not read books, but--secondary headcanon--I think Jamie loves Frank to read to him) because Mason isn't a reader. I think this might cause a bit of an internal challenge for Frank over time. As we kind of see in "couples try new things" there's a point where Frank breaks and can't keep playing the Daddy role--like, it's only natural for him up to a certain point. I think he'd grow frustrated not being able to Read Books with Mason, but wouldn't know what to do with that frustration. Then on the flip side, when he gets with Anthony he is threatened by Anthony's intelligence (which I haven't written about yet, but I'd really like to.) My man just can't win!

-Canonically, Frank Senior still lives in the same house all the kids grew up in. At least one of his two daughters lives right around the corner from him, and both daughters have fun going to his pub. Frank could drive over in an hour, hour and a half, but he...doesn't. So, here's where the headcanon comes in: sometimes Frank Sr goes into Franko's Little Bedroom (we got to see it in this ancient Chelsea video and the interactions between the two Franks sure are something alright) and just sits on the bed and lets the sadness? melancholy? wash over him. How did it end up like this?

-When Frank was a younger adult, I think he enjoyed being handy in the kitchen, but now he's taken on that Man Of The House persona (though from all I've taken in he doesn't give like...domineering asshole husband vibes) and sits around uselessly watching tv during cooking times. EXCEPT that I think his 90s sitcom marriage (as you so accurately called it!) winds up reinforcing this because I can definitely see Christine being like "omg, you're a hot mess do not come into my kitchen you'll ruin everything." (I can see this because she has said as much on Loose Women, lol.) Wonder who his role model is for Being a Good Husband? Uncle Harry I bet.

-It's funny, because some headcanons I've had then turn out to be true? For example, that Frank's spoiled to death by his in-laws (the Son they Never Had!) And god he must totally eat that shit up. I imagine that they were hesitant about Frank at first. A big shot footballer? Sure, he's rich, but there are so many bad stories about footballers...! But Frank Isn't Like the Others! He's smart and reads and pays attention to politics and writes in his journal on the team bus! He was able to make a good impression. How lucky that he Isn't Like the Others!

-Related...I headcanon that Frank Sr (back like over 10 years ago when his opinion still mattered) likes Christine's family's uh, philosophies on the UK. This actually comes up very briefly in the threesome fic because...what better place to put that than a threesome cmon

-When they were younger, Frank happily did Jamie's homework for him. Since Jamie's legendary neuroatypical brain made it hard for him to eat most foods, Frank would eat his extra unwanted food at family dinners. We know food was always a comfort for Franko, and this way no one would yell at Jamie for leaving food on his plate. They were always there for each other <3

-Has this come up in my fics? Probably. I'm not sure how to articulate this the right way--but I think Frank has never been in denial to himself about his sexuality. He's been ashamed, scared, all of that, sure. But I think he almost doesn't even wish he was straight? Like the only reason why he'd wish that was for the convenience. But he loves men and wants them with every ounce of his being! So he can't even imagine being another way. In my mind, he ultimately uses this to justify being a cheater, asshole, and a creep to younger lads, which is very fun to write.

-Is this one too spicy? I've been thinking this basically since the foundation of the Lampardverse lol--There's no way in hell Frank could have gotten married to a lady with a very "classically feminine" body type. Like noooooooo way. I think he'd freak the fuck out! His kinsey 5 powers can only go so far.

-Anthony has toooootally challenged Frank to a chess match. And Frank doesn't know how to play. So Anthony teases him about how he should be able to learn it quickly what with that IQ he has. Frank of course is stressed out by this because he can't have Anthony beat him in something.

-In the Derby era (digestif!) I think Frank fooled himself into thinking he was truly in love with Mason.

-It took Frank until 2021 to have a son and while I don't doubt that he loves his kids, I think he might have some mixed feelings about Having A Son--or if he doesn't now, he did then.

-I think Jamie Jamie Cousin Jamie and Christine must have an interesting relationship. She's definitely way smarter than he is, but they seem to get along quite well, and it's fun that they're in different parts of the same Industry--I think this puts Jamie at ease--she can treat him as a peer and not as Jamie the pretty face but total joke--and I'd like to think she appreciates Jamie a lot for actually treating Frank nicely, as I headcanon her as being a Frank Sr anti at this point too. Of course, as always with anything in the Lampard universe, there's a lot going on behind the scenes. Oh and--Christine and Frida (Jamie's wag) don't like each other at all.

-Oh, and I think this might actually be @protect-daniel-james 's idea, but it's so delightful that I have to put it out there--Mason was the snitch in the Utd dressing room last season!!!

shit did you want things that aren't Lampard related? this is kind of all I think about 😭. Except this:

-Nobody knew how much Mikel's sanity depended on Granit--not even Mikel 😭

[time-is-restored]

more whinging bc i got negative hours of sleep last night and i need to stay awake somehow lol

cw: discussions of misogyny + abuse

god the more i think abt it the more exhausted i get by the gender politics of ted lasso.

like god i do genuinely think that rebecca's arc in s1 is one of the best depictions of a mean + cruel woman ive ever seen on TV specifically bc it manages to thread the needle so well? like they never tilt her balance too much and doom her to being either totally fucked up + evil OR totally soft and sweet and harmless. and ted's 'divorce makes u crazy' response to her apology STILL makes me crazy wrt the sheer. understanding and empathy there, and she's just. given so much more depth than ive come to expect, especially for an ensemble cast sitcom w a (then) p short run time.

but my fucking god. we literally don't learn a fucking thing about michelle. im pretty sure the one (1) concrete thing we know about her comes in the fucking finale, and it's that she's a teacher for... something. the two most important people in ted's life and we don't know anything abt them! they're literally just empty symbols representing the importance of Family™, and that vacancy does nothing but weigh ted's storyline down!

like, i liked michelle's episode/storyline in s1, bc the blinding novelty of a woman instigating a divorce not being the Actual Devil, as well as a just. generally very empathetic + nuanced take on how divorce shakes out between two ppl who really care for each other, was so 'WAIT TV CAN DO THIS??' that i felt satisfied with that being Her Arc™. divorce happens, life happens, people fall out of love, and it hurts but its ultimately okay. the show, at the time, was ultimately abt a football club and how caring abt that football club helped everyone around it.

but then the show sticks around, and her continued absence just... raises a lot of questions? how did the conversation abt ted going overseas happen? what conversations did they have abt henry? how long term was it intended to be? did money really not factor into it all? like it's one thing for a character's backstory to be vague when it's not really the focus of attention (s1 was ultimately rebecca's story before anyone else's), but when it's the load bearing stone of their '''''''arc''''''' in s3...????

like. god. and then it fucking infects every other woman on the show!

sassy + nora? well sure we'll give you a softball - you can have one (1) scene where a woman is able to resolutely and firmly reject a man asking her out without immediately being seen as cruel or gameplayey (not that the audience will see it that way! she's already a lecherous temptress for them!), but neither of them will ever be able to speak to rebecca onscreen again, even after the heart-wrenching scenes in s1 CLEARLY establishing them as a beating heart of rebecca's arc.

shandy? nope, don't even think abt her motivations/drives, just forget her. simi? LMAOOO imagine a black woman getting a personality beyond righteous anger. jack? three-four episodes, and we learn so little abt her that her conflict with keeley - which SHOULD'VE have been a huge emotional beat - just feels like a kick in the teeth (and while, yes, i absolutely agree that in a real world context, jack's rejection of keeley would be largely motivated by class, in Ted Lasso Land™ rebecca is just as rich - if not richer? - and we're never once encouraged to interrogate her priorities).

barbara's the one that really makes me miserable, bc i feel like on a show with less run time, she could've played REALLY well. she's a great contrast to keeley, has an amazing delivery, and the scene where keeley + her first discuss the snowglobes shows that she has the potential for some really moving vulnerability + pathos. but instead they give SO many of keeley's scenes to characters who ultimately get written out, so when barbara stays it's like... okay? sure? like, i was so stoked that barbara survived the Mass Exodus of side characters that i didn't wanna look the gift horse in the mouth but... wasn't the last thing we saw of her and keeley's relationship like. general resentment + distrust abt the shandy debacle? when did that improve? how???

i don't think i'll ever have enough mental real estate to explain how disappointed keeley + rebecca's 'arcs' in s3 made me, and at least there's the saving grace that. virtually no one other than jamie got a coherent arc this season, so at least it was on some levels an egalitarian screw up. but fuck dude. keeley was just forced to react to bad things that were happening to her, and we got to see her do her job (which, unbelievably, does actually involve things other than being an awkward manager!) precisely one (1) time.

i even like rebecca's arc on paper - i think it's really cool to see a character backslide so intensely in terms of obsessing over and struggling to come to terms w a past relationship, especially an abusive one, bc like. yeah! that shit sticks with you for longer than a season! and beyond that, seeing her regain her sense of self and what SHE actually gives a shit about was oftentimes just as sweet as s1. but her scenes were poorly connected, and she had to carry WAY too much of a burden as the Resident Speech Giver for any of her internal characterisation to make sense. like, sorry, but it's kind of hard to believe a character's Going Through It™ when they have to spent near 100% of their screen time giving Take It From Me, Kid, speeches. and then she's not even given a real opportunity TO fuck up + sabotage her relationships, even when she starts getting really weird w ted! it's all just so meaningless and like nothing that she does is ever going to matter. she never speaks to zava again, we don't get to see her interact w bex or kate, her pleas to ted get COMPLETELY shut down...

but the thing that REALLY makes me sick is this complete lack of interiority absolutely butchers the characters of jade + jane, who are otherwise RIFE with potential. like, jade is a completely unflinching, unapologetic asshole to nate + his family, and that's never interrogated. even in Sitcom Land™, it's more than reasonable to view jade's actions as racist, especially when she doesn't give the same treatment to others (at least not as i recall? honestly i usually watch the taste of athens scenes while peeking out behind my hands, so i could 100% be wrong here). and yet, suddenly, and completely inexplicably, she's charmed by nate. she wants to give him the time of day. she finds him attractive, and wants to date him, and generally take control of his life and force him into a decision that is literally the exact opposite of what he expressed wanting to do. except even that LAST thing isn't allowed to be interrogated, bc god FORBID a woman is enough of a fully realised creation to actually be culpable of the terrible shit they do!

and fucking jane??? beard's so head-over-heels for this woman that the emotional abuse + extremely controlling tendencies don't even make him bat an eye, and we don't get to know anything about her? she's literally just the suggestion of an alluring woman! good at sex! good at chess! fuck you if you wanna know more, even though the show ENDLESSLY hits you over the head with how painful their relationship is for beard - beard who is given virtually no other storyline. like, i literally can't read brendan's refusal to label jane as abusive as anything other than like. that bio-essentialism shit where ppl 'women are better than men <3' so hard that they end up genuinely and wholeheartedly arguing that someone's sex defines their morals - or worse, that their sex is a deciding factor in determining whether someone's actions are good or bad. not context, but a legitimate 'add points if woman, take away points if man' variable.

like that's so feminism 101 it's legitimately almost worse than nothing. that's like getting as far as 'hey so you know how we're all inundated with both implicit + explicit messaging abt what is Valued and Good for women vs men to-' before shoving ur earplugs in and going 'if you are oppressed by society we'll automatically stamp a 'good person' label on ur head and now we don't have to think abt any of our biases + internalised beliefs ever again <333'. the most useless and fucking pointless stand against the patriarchy ever, especially coming from the same show that ENDLESSLY slots characters into the 'loving gf/wife' archetype and then give them Literally Nothing Else. my comrades you have literally just done madonna/whore 2: oops all madonnas! this is not liberation!!!! this is a miserable cage!!!!!!!!!

im just. higgins' wife. mae. trent's daughter and anonymous 'her'. the women at the hotel and the restaurants and the firm and the fucking physios, fuck - dani's gfs! who are they? what do they want? where do they go when the camera stops rolling? can anyone hear me?? hello??? hello???? brendan hunt i am OUTSIDE YOUR HOUUUUUUSE

[marshvlovestv]

There are a lot of shows I've been thinking about rewatching lately and which I think would be interesting to dissect through the lens of neurodiversity - because while I myself am exactly as neurodivergent now as I was when I originally watched these shows, I'm still way more educated than I used to be, not only about my own disorders but ones I don't have, as well. Some shows on the list are:

Bones: One of my longest-running hyperfixations, as a cop show it was obviously very shitty about personality disorders and schizophrenia and the like. But dear god the neurodivergent energy in the main cast was impeccable and I don't think I appreciated that fully when I was into this show.

Scrubs: Did you know that the first time I learned about personality disorders as a concept was some guy on TV Tropes being like "Here's a list of the meanest characters in Scrubs and the personality disorders I think make them so terrible?" Awful way to learn about it, god. Now, with a more nuanced understanding of personality disorders I've come up with a hypothesis that JD himself might actually fit the criteria for a personality disorder - and one of the "scary ones" to boot. If I'm right about this, then Bill Lawrence might have actually created positive Cluster B representation by accident, and I really hope I'm right.

The Good Place: I need to reexamine this show's concept of mental illness and how it's tied to morality. Obviously, I related to Chidi and his anxiety from the beginning and as much as I love the show I was always a liiittle uncomfy with the implication that his mental illness made him a burden to others and therefore he went to Hell. Also, hot take, Eleanor is definitely not neurotypical either - her behavior is a trauma response as much as it is a "sociological phenomenon" or however the show wants to frame it.

The Middle: Thinking about Brick just makes me smile, man. It's obviously annoying that this clearly autistic-coded character isn't acknowledged as anything but "quirky," but Brick is just so happy and content with being different that I can ignore that. His parents want to "fix" him but come on guys, your boy is thriving.

Speechless: I actually rewatched the first two episodes of this one today. Obviously this show has its own important things to say about physical disability and that was undermined by framing Ray as the central character at first - it's better that it became more of an ensemble show with JJ more centered. There is definitely something to be said, though, about the fact that Ray is definitely not neurotypical, being a highly anxious person who requires a stability that his family can't provide, and that because his special needs are less visible than JJ's, they aren't being addressed adequately. Of course, Ray being neurodivergent was not the intention of the showrunners and stuff like competing needs and intersectionality would have been too much for a sitcom to take on - it had to focus on being the funniest fucking show I've ever seen oh my god it makes me laugh so hard that's the main reason I wanted to rewatch it. But I can imagine a version of the show that tackled those issues and I like how it looks.

[my-weird-news]

Witch Showdown! 😂 Melissa vs. Candace - Hilarious Banter!

Bible Study Showdown: When Melissa Joan Hart Met Candace Cameron-Bure's Satanic Alter Ego Oh, hold onto your broomsticks, folks! Melissa Joan Hart just threw some holy shade at none other than Candace Cameron-Bure for her days as a devilishly delightful witch on Boy Meets World. I mean, can you imagine? It's like finding out Mother Teresa used to moonlight as a stand-up comedian. So, get this: Melissa and Candace, both time-travelers from the '90s, guest-starred on an episode fittingly titled "The Witches of Pennbrook." You know, the good ol' days when spellcasting and studying were basically synonymous. Boy Meets World sure had its priorities straight. Now, Melissa's all like, "Listen up, world! I was the Teenage Witch, but not the satanic kind!" She's got a point, though. While her Sabrina was busy juggling high school and potions, Candace's character, Millie, was apparently jonesing for a pentagram-shaped balcony with a view. Because, you know, summoning Satan requires good lighting and a killer vista. Picture this: Millie, surrounded by candles and speaking in tongues that would make your Sunday school teacher blush. Eric, the ultimate witchcraft debunker, barges in and saves the day with a spell from his "Witchcraft for Dummies" book. Ah, the literary classics! But wait, it gets better. Sabrina herself (yes, Melissa's cameo) shows up, ready for a balcony-bound date. Eric's a nervous wreck, thanks to Jack's "relationship" with Millie. And Sabrina, the witch in the room, has the audacity to ask, "What's so spooky about that?" Classic TV gold, I tell you. But fast forward to real life, and here we are. Candace Cameron-Bure, that poster child for conservative values, left her Hallmark gig to join Great American Media. You know, because nothing says "family values" like leaving a cozy network to tackle, well, more conservative values. Candace declared, "I'm on a mission to keep traditional marriage at the core!" Cue the record scratch. Suddenly, the world's like, "Wait, what?!" And just like that, our dear Candace got a reality check from the peanut gallery. But you know what? She defended her stance, claiming she's not trying to convert us all to the Church of Hallmark. Instead, she's all about celebrating the big guy's greatness through stories. God bless those heartwarming family sitcoms with a side of divine intervention! So there you have it, folks. The tale of Melissa Joan Hart, Candace Cameron-Bure, and a sitcom episode that made Hocus Pocus look like a documentary. It's proof that even in the wild world of '90s TV, life can be stranger than fiction. Now, let's all head to Bible study and contemplate the theological implications of casting spells on sitcom balconies. 📚✨# Bible Study Showdown: When Melissa Joan Hart Met Candace Cameron-Bure's Satanic Alter Ego Oh, hold onto your broomsticks, folks! Melissa Joan Hart just threw some holy shade at none other than Candace Cameron-Bure for her days as a devilishly delightful witch on Boy Meets World. I mean, can you imagine? It's like finding out Mother Teresa used to moonlight as a stand-up comedian. So, get this: Melissa and Candace, both time-travelers from the '90s, guest-starred on an episode fittingly titled "The Witches of Pennbrook." You know, the good ol' days when spellcasting and studying were basically synonymous. Boy Meets World sure had its priorities straight. Now, Melissa's all like, "Listen up, world! I was the Teenage Witch, but not the satanic kind!" She's got a point, though. While her Sabrina was busy juggling high school and potions, Candace's character, Millie, was apparently jonesing for a pentagram-shaped balcony with a view. Because, you know, summoning Satan requires good lighting and a killer vista. Picture this: Millie, surrounded by candles and speaking in tongues that would make your Sunday school teacher blush. Eric, the ultimate witchcraft debunker, barges in and saves the day with a spell from his "Witchcraft for Dummies" book. Ah, the literary classics! But wait, it gets better. Sabrina herself (yes, Melissa's cameo) shows up, ready for a balcony-bound date. Eric's a nervous wreck, thanks to Jack's "relationship" with Millie. And Sabrina, the witch in the room, has the audacity to ask, "What's so spooky about that?" Classic TV gold, I tell you. But fast forward to real life, and here we are. Candace Cameron-Bure, that poster child for conservative values, left her Hallmark gig to join Great American Media. You know, because nothing says "family values" like leaving a cozy network to tackle, well, more conservative values. Candace declared, "I'm on a mission to keep traditional marriage at the core!" Cue the record scratch. Suddenly, the world's like, "Wait, what?!" And just like that, our dear Candace got a reality check from the peanut gallery. But you know what? She defended her stance, claiming she's not trying to convert us all to the Church of Hallmark. Instead, she's all about celebrating the big guy's greatness through stories. God bless those heartwarming family sitcoms with a side of divine intervention! So there you have it, folks. The tale of Melissa Joan Hart, Candace Cameron-Bure, and a sitcom episode that made Hocus Pocus look like a documentary. It's proof that even in the wild world of '90s TV, life can be stranger than fiction. Now, let's all head to Bible study and contemplate the theological implications of casting spells on sitcom balconies. 📚✨ Read the full article

[eemoo1o-animoo]

Oh my god!! The art!! Okay so here’s some more, I think:

Demon-Os gets an intern either in season two or right at the start of season one (though I can imagine he’s added to ‘spice things up’ or something like how some sitcoms or shows do with adding new characters), which would be Snake. He usually keeps to himself and is really quiet, which makes it kind of easy for him to end up hanging around the triplets a lot.

I think there could be a scene a bit like with Kevin and the baggers from Mohican from F is for Family where they are in like the triplets’ secret space that they chose to show him and that’s where they are for the rest of the episode, and Sebastian could be cursing them because where the fuck are they?!

Eventually in the same scene Snake shows them pictures of his snakes and one of them (the gruff one — Canterbury… he’ll always be Timber in our hearts though) says “Bit creepy, innit?” — (Timber, the soft one) “I think they’re cute.” — (Thompson, the middle one) “I think they’re pretty decent.” And I think Snake likes them a bit more because he realises that they remind him of his snakes a bit.

The main child actors for the Funtom company / Demon-Os are O!Ciel and R!Ciel (and Lizzie), and their maternal cousins are Jim and Luka Macken (Angelina adopted them).

Mey-Rin, Bard, and Finny are also actors for the commercials, but only recurring ones.

Lau and Ran-Mao are executives, but also keep trying to push their all-new “Seaweed Crunchies” into the limelight.

It’s actually R!Ciel who doesn’t like Sebastian straight away, as he’s the main diva, main actor too, and O!Ciel is just his stunt double most of the time (like when the lights give him fatigue or whatever).

Eventually somewhere down the line like the middle-end of season one or somewhere around season two, R!Ciel gets badly injured (but comedically, if this is like a Dramedy) which forces him to step away from acting and, initially, spend all his scarce scenes during the rest of the season’s episodes in bed, typically venting to Tanaka or telling O!Ciel, a bit vehemently (but mostly out of passion to preserve his image) to be “The best Ciel he can be”, and as such O!Ciel takes on the stage name “Ciel” and no one really checked the credits for stunt doubles anyway so who cares where the other one went?

By the way, Diedrich is their manager/agent (moreso seen with the Mackens, though) and before R!Ciel’s injury the twins sometimes offhandedly mention “their daddy and agent [sometimes] wrestling” and, once, “their daddy kissing Santa Claus”.

In the latter instance Claude turns to Sebastian and says, “Are you sure that wasn’t you, Michaelis?” either to suggest that Sebastian has also done this before (kiss a ‘Santa’) or that Sebastian and Vincent have also been together — it’s up to viewer interpretation. Alternatively it would be a call back to a season or just a few episodes prior, or calling to a flashback, where something comedic happens with Sebastian kissing a Santa.

It’s also suggested that throughout the series, Sebastian and Claude have a secret (and genuinely secret in the sense of what they do and when they do it, but from a tension standpoint it’s not-so-subtle) in- and out-of-workplace relationship. Though it’s never shown on screen.

Sebastian also has the love life and libido of Klaus Hargreeves. Anything and everything is at risk.

As for the Mackens, their stage names are “Alois Trancy” and “Cort Trancy”, both German names (starting with 9 letters before their first initial) that Diedrich had actually picked out. Additionally, they keep pitching this idea of “Trancy Bran” behind the scenes and off set that only Ronald will pay them any mind over.

Alois and R!Ciel also get along like a house on fire and it’s scary. (He brings out the Alois in Alois a bit but when with Luka, he is still just Jim.)

They’re at first used for extras in the Demon-Os commercials (though Alois moreso than Luka Cort because of the whole ‘blond hair blue eyes’ thing).

They don’t get cast in Grim Loops commercials until this one episode of hijinks* where Grelle (who is suggested to dating Red at the time, which this is around season four or five where gay stuff was starting to gradually be green lit, and because F/F is easier to get past censors) had volunteered to babysit them (to appease Ann, this is made abundantly clear), and ‘realising’ that the they’re also child actors (Grelle told him), Will decides to book a day on set to make couple of commercials. This is also where ‘Trancy Bran’ is first mentioned.

* This episode would be a parallel to an episode just a few seasons before where the Demon-Os crew had to babysit the twins. Though, additionally, I can see an episode where the Mackens visit the Demon-Os (Ann is taking forever to pick them up, and it cuts to a scene where she’s out with Grelle or someone occasionally where she’s like “Oh I wouldn’t worry about it, they’re in safe enough hands for now.”), and Alois imprints in Claude but Hannah, who wants to prove herself to kids, is trying super hard to get him and Luka to like her too. Alois is far harder to win around than Luka. This also highlights the competitive and ‘frenemy’ nature of Claude and Hannah’s relationship, as Claude only finds interest in hanging around the kids to anger Hannah. Maybe there’s also a scene where they take Luka out to a toy shop or something while Alois is with the twins, and there’s a reference to that one episode in Friends where Claude and Hannah get off the bus bickering but then realise that Luka is still there sleeping and chase after it. Neither of them are actually that good with kids, they realise.

Eventually, in the same episode, I can see the triplets ending up with Luka (they at first stare down at him blankly) and either it substitutes the bus scene where Luka instead goes missing during one of Claude and Hannah’s arguments (they were tasked with looking after him for Alois) and they have to find him before Alois comes back (Hannah is particularly frightened because she wants Alois to like her — there’s a moment towards the end of this B-plot where Claude decides to finally comfort her and tell her that they will find him). After coming clean to Alois when he returns, they then hear him giggling and find the triplets’ secret spot* wherein they’re with him playing and doing silly cute things (like eating cereal from the box). (I think I like this one more.)

* Now that everyone from Kuro II knows (making me think that maybe Snake comes a season or so later), either Luka or Alois call it “the Trancy Manor” (it’s a storage unit-thing made up of a cereal box fort with pillows. Claude is always huffing because he can’t actually fit that well.) (Maybe there’s a few episodes / B-plots in “the Manor” and the boys all come to treat Hannah like Dee is in It’s Always Sunny.)

Concerning dynamics, Alois also asks, offhandedly, for Claude to marry their mother (Ann). Luka asks if Claude and Hannah are married (feeding the fraction of the Cereal Heads (the viewers of the show) that ship their frenemy dynamic).

The fact that Alois gets most of the spotlight as the main Grim Loops actor later down the line also brings more of the Alois out in him.

O!Ciel gradually gets more and more like the O!Ciel we know in canon because he takes the “be the best Ciel you can be” to heart, like a mantra.

‘Again’ as a reference to Friends, with Ross and that cookie scout girl, something happens accidentally (though, comically) between Sebastian and O!Ciel that causes O!Ciel to lose or injure his eye. Sebastian feels guilty even when he and O!Ciel argue over O!Ciel giving him a hard time.

In Grim Loops, the first season is filled with their failed scripts because who trusted the dyslexic one (Ronald) on the typewriter?!

Undertaker is also there (and flirts with Grelle a bit, sometimes), though like The Office’s Creed, most of the time. But he’ll sometimes, without fail, have these moments of seriousness where he explains why Holy Charms or Demon-Os will do what they do (sometimes with a “Classic” or “Oldest trick in the book” or even “Haven’t seen that one used in a while”), and why they’d do it, because he’s been around for ages so he’s seen all the tricks in the book.

Towards the end of R!Ciel’s arc in bed, he’s started to see his brother rise to fame with now one being able to tell the difference (he even wins an award in R!Ciel’s name — his father even gives him the family ring for a job well done). Once he is no longer bed-ridden, the twins’ (at first) one-sided bitter rivalry is first made apparent. R!Ciel also walks with a cane, now, too.

A branch of Grim Loops shut down leading to new workers, Eric Slingby and Alan Humphries to be working at the main dispatch, but a season later they’re gone.

Ash and Angela are also and brother and sister, but in the sense that Stranz and Fairchild are brother and sister in Blades of Glory. If you know you unfortunately know. (And in the sense of how the two are petty villains, also.)

There’s also this recurring theme of Demon-Os and later Holy Charms trying to invade the health inspector aka Abberline. (Whom Hannah is also dating. It’s all very convoluted.)

Also, in the penultimate season of the show the two hire the Double Charles, and the two duos do not get along that great in the sense of aggressively staring at one another in silence (smug silence, in Grey’s case).

Eventually, a fair bit after the twins’ rivalry is made mutual, it’s revealed that Undertaker has been getting Demon-Os personnel from R!Ciel and then feeds the information from both companies to Holy Charms, exclusively because he wants to watch all the drama (and his pension would be very good if everything went to hell and he decided to retire to avoid all the wreckage).

Towards the end of season seven or eight, the penultimate season, Holy Charms are finally shut down as the Double Charles were undercover cops. (There’d been and arc of Ash and Angela being suspicious of them but the big reveal doesn’t come until the very end of the season.)

Towards the end of the show, say like the third-to-last season, I thought that Claude would have a big build up to coming out as gay now that the show is officially more woke, but I think such a reveal would be better suited towards William for what I’ve decided for the last two seasons.

Now that William is out as gay, it’s made more apparent immediately in the next season how his rivalry with Sebastian is far more homoerotic than initially thought (also validating the Sebiam Cereal Heads) and slowly how Sebastian could also reciprocate. At the end of the penultimate season they end up getting together.

Now that the two are together, this (smaller than usual) season consists of them trying to merge the two companies into “Demon Loops” where they’d sell both brands as well as a combined brand and many reduced sugar options that kids all across the world will absolutely love, as well as plan for their wedding. After many bumps and struggles they manage to merge just an episode or two before the show’s finale: their wedding, and the speeches are all very cereal related and the vows aren’t without several cereal analogies apiece.

Modern Drama AU where the grim reapers are the CEOs of a cereal company whose mascot is a reaper. And the demons’ (and Ash/Angela I guess) are CEOs of another cereal company whose mascot is a demon. They unfortunately booked conferences for the same resort. They’re enemies. Oh no :)

[darkveracity]

My deltarune divorce diagram has gotten a lot of attention which naturally also means a lot of criticism. I thought I’d make a separate post to address the most common feedback

First, here’s the diagram again in case you haven’t seen it

Pretty good right? I love making these a lot. It’s nice that other people like them too but the core audience for them has always just been me. I find myself making them even when I read stuff no one else has ever heard of and I don’t have anyone to share them with

Now here are some issues people have had and my responses

Asgore and Rudy should be marked as romantic

There’s no heterosexual explanation for their behavior but all that’s actually in the game so far is a lot of subtext. Deltarune operates in a frame where bigotry doesn’t directly exist but its effects are still visible so I doubt the game will ever say it outright but the obvious interpretation of the fact that they both married women instead of each other is that they’re still closeted. It will be really interesting to see how this evolves given that Asgore has ruined his own marriage now and may be on the way to ruining Rudy’s too.

You should have included the ghost family/the mad ghost’s crush on Asgore

This one is completely valid actually. The reason I left them off is because they’ve played a very very small role so far (we don’t even have sprites for Mettaton or Maddy!) and half of what we know about them is just things from undertale that might or might not still be true in deltarune. Here’s what the chart with them looks like

I really hope we get more of them in the rest of the game though! Between transitioning to become an anime catgirl and having dual crushes on Asgore and Undyne Maddy appears to have pretty much exactly the same taste as Alphys and I’d love to see that explored

Asgore is too nice to hate Sans

No he’s not.

Alphys and Undyne should be marked as romantic

Considering how things turned out in Undertale it’s almost certain they’ll be getting together again but this diagram is meant to document the current state of affairs and right now they’ve only known each other for half a day. Their nebulous meetcute crush is very cute though.

Toriel and Sans aren’t really flirting, they’re just friends

Between Sans implying he’s fucking Kris’ mom and Asgore’s reaction to seeing them together there’s definitely some degree of romantic subtext to their relationship. This is marked as a maybe for a reason

When did Rudy talk about hating Sans?

This dialogue is super easy to miss because you only get it if you come back and talk to Rudy about Asgore after seeing the eggs-husband scene

Sans didn’t actually say he gives Asgore free pickles, posts-from-a-darker-timeline made that up

Nope! what posts-from-a-darker-timeline made up was Sans talking about “befriending” Asgore the same way he talked about Toriel. The free pickles thing is real!

Alphys has a crush on Toriel

There’s no evidence for this but it would be extremely funny. Edit: see here

Everything about the Mayor

Mayor Holiday is an extremely important character who hasn’t actually appeared onscreen yet so everything we know about her is inferred from other people talking about her and is therefore somewhat speculative. Going over it all is too much for this post so I’ll be doing a separate writeup about her soon

Asgore is the protagonist of a soap opera

HE SURE FUCKING IS. DIVORCE DIMENSION. IT’S SO GOOD

Sans just moved here and he’s already in the middle of this mess

God can you even imagine? You’ve been in town for under a week, you’ve made friends with a nice local milf, and somehow in the process you’ve managed to involve yourself in a nightmare sitcom dramedy that stars half the adults in town. Two separate people hate your guts. He’s having a real time of it

[animebookworm16]

I am once again here with a weird idea that makes me giggle just a little.

So Percy is a demigod yes? Poseidon is his father and Sally Jackson is his mother etc. etc. we all know that story. So let me offer you one that kind of hurts at first then turns into a sitcom.

Percy is a tiny child, like five or six, barely able to form lasting memories tiny. And we know that he had a lot of encounters with monsters even before the sixth grade.

So let’s say that something happened. Maybe Sally made a mistake and a monster found them, maybe one of the mosters Percy encounted hit a little too close, maybe a passing messenger god saw Percy take down the snakes at preschool and gossipped about it enough that Zeus found out and went on a rampage. What happened isn’t the important part, it’s the end that matters. Sally dies. Poseidon is heartbroken, he truly had loved her. On the day of her funeral every ocean is silent.

But her death leaves Percy in a very dangerous predicament. You see, I’m going to say that this event happens after Sally marries Smelly Gabe. With him being Percy’s legal step-father, unless his biological father or someone from that side of the family claims him, Percy has to live with Smelly Gabe. And I’m fairly certain we’d all be able to see the ending of that.

So Poseidon creates a human persona for himself (and yes I am going with the meme/joke/headcanon that Paul Blowfis is really just Poseidon), buys a nice house and somehow convinces both Amphitrite and Triton to give living among the mortals for a few years a try. (Both see through him but also want to see what the potential savior/destroyer looks like) Then low and behold, the Blowfis family appears and they’re able to prove that ‘Paul’ is actually Percy’s father. 

And if Gabe Ugliano mysteriously disappears after that... well they were a whole other state away at the time.

Now despite what Athena would have everyone believe, Poseidon is not stupid. He realizes that keeping and raising Percy himself paints the biggest target on the demigod’s back. So Poseidon makes a choice (this is the part where Athena would call him an idiot) and turns Percy into a god. He then proceeds to remove the godliness and Percy becomes a godling (what I’m calling a god that gets turned into a mortal. So yes. In the ToA, Apollo is a godling).

Why is this important? Aren’t godlings and demigods practically indistinguishable? In answer to the first question, it makes Percy way harder to kill than your average demigod (as if he wasn’t hard enough to kill as is). And as for the second, yeah they’re pretty much the same, except that Percy can access his god powers in times of extreme danger. Also being a godling carries a bit more weight than a demigod. Other gods are more likely to help godlings and will acknowledge them more freely.

‘You said this would be a sitcom!’ I hear you cry. And it is.  Amphitrite and Triton have to adjust to acting human, while also figuring out how they feel about Percy (you know, the literal proof of infedelity on Poseidon’s part). Poseidon has to figure out how to be a good father so his son doesn’t grow up and decide to destroy Olympus, while also realizing that he’s kind of screwed up his marriage with Amphitrite and trying to fix that. Percy has to adjust to losing his mom, gaining his dad a step-mom and a brother (Triton insists on being called brother), and if the whispered fights he overhears between the three are anything to go off of he also now has a very large extended family most of whom will hate him on principal.

All of that under one roof. Shenanigans will be afoot.

Also for more crack, I’m imagining the Olympians all coming by at some point or other and causing hijinks to ensue.

[justzawe]

‘I said, put me in a corset asap’: Zawe Ashton on period dramas, pregnancy and embracing silliness

After a series of harrowing roles, the former Fresh Meat star is rediscovering her ‘joyful side’, with a Bridgerton-esque romp – and a baby on the way with Tom Hiddleston

by Liv Little

It’s the day after Zawe Ashton’s 38th birthday when we speak. She’s wearing a bright red, Regency-inspired, rose-covered headdress; she’s had it on since her celebrations with friends and family the night before. “I’ve worn this all weekend. And I thought: ‘Shall I act cool and take it off for Liv? Or will she appreciate it on some level?’” she says with a laugh.

Ashton is still buzzing from the birthday love – as well as, perhaps, the early praise for her leading role in the period film drama Mr Malcolm’s List. She insists she avoids looking at reviews or engaging with what the public think, but it’s impossible to remain completely in the dark. “Obviously, you end up hearing things … That’s the thing I’m hypersensitive to, what that means for the film-makers especially,” she says earnestly.

This year marks the start of a new chapter for Ashton, both personally – she’s expecting her first child with her fiance, Tom Hiddleston – and professionally: alongside Mr Malcolm’s List, she has a villainous role in superhero blockbuster The Marvels on the horizon. Both developments will bring a level of attention she’s unused to; despite starting out in showbiz when she was just six years old (she appeared as an extra in the beloved British-Caribbean sitcom Desmond’s), Ashton has managed to avoid the chaotic life of many who find themselves in the spotlight from a young age.

I ask if she deliberately keeps what is most sacred to her private. “I’m not Gwyneth Paltrow. I don’t know how to do that thing,” she says, by which she means broadcasting the most intimate parts of her life for the world to dissect. Although, let’s be real, that is already happening without Ashton’s permission: ever since she and Hiddleston were first linked in late 2019, after they starred together in the London revival of Harold Pinter’s Betrayal, the internet has been full of feverish speculation about their relationship.

Still, she doesn’t mean to cast shade on Paltrow. “I mean, I love the Goop of it all,” she adds, referring to Paltrow’s Netflix series Sex, Love and Goop, which takes couples on a journey of sexual and spiritual awakening. “I binged it in one night,” she says. It’s an admission you could never imagine being made by the character she’s best known for – the achingly edgy Vod from Fresh Meat, the cult TV comedy set in a Manchester student flatshare. In contrast to Vod’s take-no-prisoners attitude, Ashton is all jokes and smiles, radiating warmth.

Though Ashton closely guards her private life, during the recent press tour for Mr Malcolm’s List she was unable to hide her very visible pregnancy. “That’s the hysterical thing,” she says. “No one wants to go on a press tour at the same time that they want to keep their personal life private, but that’s my ‘contractual professional obligation’,” she says, partly serious, partly making light of the situation.

Ashton landed in New York for the film’s premiere just as news broke that Roe v Wade had been overturned. “I thought: ‘Oh God, there’s nothing more tone deaf I could be doing right now than promoting a lighthearted movie.’ I was also very aware that my presence in that promotion would be as a pregnant person.” She argues that it’s more important than ever that the different journeys of child-bearing people are acknowledged. “We’re having very important conversations about the autonomy we have over our bodies. What better autonomy could I have than just doing it how I wanted to do it?” Ashton is conscious that not everyone has had the same experience. “I have so many friends who have been through real grief, with regards to pregnancy and conception. I hope I can represent anyone on this journey, in whatever way they’re on it. Cos it doesn’t get more ancient than this,” she says jokingly, nodding to the fact that she’s having her first child in her late 30s.

Ashton grew up in east London in a tight family unit with her Ugandan mother and English father, both teachers. She started acting when she was a child and has never been short of work; as well as her breakout role in Fresh Meat, she had parts in films ranging from St Trinian’s 2 to Nocturnal Animals, and more recently appeared in the fourth season of The Handmaid’s Tale. Yet before Mr Malcolm’s List, she had never starred in a period drama.

The film, set in 19th-century Britain, follows the hilarious and often devious character of Julia Thistlewaite (Ashton), who is in her fourth season of seeking a match in high society and at very real risk of being labelled past it. Her character plots revenge against the eligible bachelor Mr Malcolm (Sopé Dìrísù) after he rejects her for failing to meet all the criteria on his list of attributes for a prospective wife. She enlists the help of her cousin Selina (Freida Pinto), with whom she hopes he will fall in love, only for her to break his heart or at least massively embarrass him. It’s a role that makes the most of Ashton’s comic timing, and it’s unsurprising that her performance has been the most talked about of the film.

It wasn’t until watching Bridgerton that Ashton imagined finding a place for herself within the period genre. After falling in love with a world filled with romance, gossip and high tea, she sent her team an email saying: “‘Put me in a corset asap’ – but I didn’t think of it as on course to happening!” With the serendipity of the best romantic comedy, it wasn’t long before the call for Mr Malcolm’s List came through. The actor who had previously been cast in the lead role had dropped out, and Ashton was given just 24 hours to decide whether she wanted it. Despite being second choice, she accepted enthusiastically. “You mustn’t have any ego about this as an actor,” she says. “Film-making is intricate, it’s difficult, it’s expensive, it’s weird. And wherever you end up is wherever you end up. So I was just stoked to do it, because I had just watched Bridgerton, and I’m not going to lie, I thought: ‘The door is open!’”

That wasn’t always the case.

Ashton tells me that when she was studying acting in Manchester, teachers adopted a white-centric approach to period drama. “There was this terrible time when you had to do period pieces where the reference, or sometimes the explicit message, was that anyone of colour in the cast had to imagine themselves as white,” she recalls with dismay. “That’s actually what a director said to us as a group when we were doing a Restoration comedy. And you can imagine the comedy immediately left the bones of the seven people of colour.” Ashton, of course, is far from the first Black actor to share the traumas of being a minority within a majority-white acting class, which is why she’s now taking the time to deliver talks and connect with other students. “I’ve decided to dedicate myself to that this year,” she says.

As a self-described “creative chameleon”, it didn’t make sense to Ashton that the artistic fantasies of others didn’t stretch to seeing Black people step into worlds or characters unknown. “I couldn’t understand why the imagination I had as a reader of classic pieces was not being interpreted on screen.” She finds it absurd that it has taken almost 32 years of acting for her to be tasked with putting on a bonnet. “Sometimes there’s this undertone, like: ‘Well done for retaining enough energy to wait for this moment to happen.’ And that’s a little bit how it feels to step into period drama.”

Many of the roles Ashton played before Mr Malcolm’s List had been harrowing (with the notable exception of Fresh Meat). Earlier this year she starred as a survivor of sexual assault in Lucy Kirkwood’s urgent 25-minute BBC drama Maryland, a work filled with the collective anger of women fed up with a failing criminal justice system. In Dreams of a Life (released in 2011, the same year Fresh Meat premiered), she played the near-silent role of Joyce Carol Vincent, the north London woman whose dead body lay in front of her television for three years before anyone noticed she was gone.

The intensity of those characters’ worlds sits in stark contrast to the jubilance of Ashton’s latest part. She revelled in the chance to go light. “The process of getting into this character was like allowing myself to feel joyful, silly, tender, clumsy, goofy, soft.” These are, she suggests, states of being that Black women are often assumed not to experience. “I thought: ‘Why would anyone think that my peers and I were incapable of this joyful, tender thing?’ What’s that about?”

You’re allowed to play a fun role, I point out. “I am absolutely allowed!” she says. “I realised that for myself at some point in filming. That was a huge penny that dropped.”

She reflects on a protest she attended in east London recently, in response to the story of Child Q, the 15-year‑old schoolgirl who was strip-searched by police officers in 2020 after school staff falsely accused her of having marijuana in her possession. Child Q was menstruating at the time. Teachers and officers didn’t contact her parents before she was searched, and no other adults were present. As Ashton speaks, it is evident just how much the abuse experienced by Child Q disturbed her. ‘‘I went to the protest with a placard bearing a slogan that the writer Bonnie Greer had given me. She was like: ‘Why are people trying to take tenderness from young Black children?’ And I thought that was such a poetic way of putting it. So instead of something very boldly antagonistic, which is where your mind goes when you write a placard for any type of protest, I wrote: ‘Stop killing young Black children’s dreams’. Then I scrubbed that out, and put: ‘Let Black children dream’.”

Ashton might be starring in period dramas and Marvel movies these days, but not long ago she was on the verge of giving up acting altogether; she was worried about being typecast after five years of starring in Fresh Meat. “There are strange things that happen when you leave episodic television, and I think this applies in the UK and the US. There’s a really weird chunk of time where everyone wants you to do the same thing again.” She points to the example of Friends. “Look at the stalling Joey spin-off. Look at the subsequent difficult realigning of identities that someone like Matthew Perry, who played Chandler, went through.”

She briefly moved to the Kent seaside town of Margate in 2018 to clear her head; it helped her return to the industry refreshed. After years of navigating entertainment, she had been on the verge of burning out. “I think it’s because I started young, before any pendulum swing in the industry. I’ve seen it all at this point. The stories I could tell – I mean, that’s the reason I wrote Character Breakdown,” she says, referring to the book she published in 2019, which explores the horrors of the TV and film industry through a mix of fiction and memoir. It’s both shocking and humorous, and includes imagined scenes that reflect the power plays between film-makers, actors and agents. After her brief hiatus from the industry, the role to reel her back into the world of entertainment was, fittingly, that of a gallerist in 2019’s Velvet Buzzsaw, a horror-thriller situated in the world of fine art that asks the question: who is in control – the artist or the industry?

Reflecting on the Ashton of now versus the Ashton who rose to fame in Fresh Meat (the show turned 10 last year), she is more focused on the parts of herself that stayed the same rather than the elements that have changed. “I’m still someone who wants to create interesting characters,” she says. “I’m also someone who loves being part of a loving ensemble – that’s where I always feel most alive. I still love Manchester. I’m not that person any more, but I don’t really know in which ways I’m not – that’s so weird, isn’t it?”

It has been intriguing for Ashton to witness the ways people have seen themselves reflected in the character of Vod. “A student said to me: ‘You are the first person of colour I saw representing any sort of flavour of non-binary or punk or queerness on television.’” She recognises the huge responsibility that comes with that status.

Part of the reason Vod has chimed with so many young people who find themselves occupying a space outside the norm is Ashton’s unwavering determination to create complicated characters over likable ones. “The show’s brilliant creators Sam Bain and Jesse Armstrong wanted me to play it like Vod’s really cool. I said, early on: ‘I won’t be able to create someone cool for you, but I will be able to create someone who doesn’t give a fuck.’”

There is a widespread sense that, because there has been so little representation of marginalised perspectives within the film and TV industry, each character who does make it on to the screen must represent every minority experience, which, of course, it cannot. It’s something that has long frustrated Ashton. “Reading Toni Morrison taught me from a very early age that the personal is universal. Anyone who tries to tell you it’s not has to think about that. That’s also just the way art works. You know, it doesn’t need to be liked all the time. This is what I can’t bear! I don’t care.”

Someone who instilled this mantra within Ashton is the groundbreaking Black artist Lorraine O’Grady. During a series of documentaries she recorded with the artist ahead of the Tate exhibition Soul of a Nation: Art in the Age of Black Power in 2017, Ashton learned that O’Grady had been shunned by some of the Black artist networks in New York because her work extended beyond the concerns of Black struggle. Yet, at 87, O’Grady continues to create the art she wants to see. “Is she someone who goes to bed at night feeling a bit sad that she was outcast by certain communities? Yes. Has she let it take her away from her gut and her heart, and her own experience? No, she has not.”

Having taken inspiration from O’Grady, how have Ashton’s own personal struggles affected her professional life? “They say the same things you struggle with as a person are the same things you struggle with as an actor,” she says. “There was a point when I couldn’t cry on cue. I was like, ‘God I’m just a crap actor, everyone else seems to be able to act loads of stuff, and it’s just me.’ And, actually, it was me. I had a lot of unprocessed sadness and trauma that wasn’t ready to come out in my own life, let alone when someone snapped their fingers and said to cry on behalf of someone else.”

What eventually allowed Ashton to process her own trauma was her writing. In 2019, she wrote a play called For All the Women Who Thought They Were Mad, exploring how workplace dynamics affect Black women. “There is an instant feeling of writing from places that need releasing, writing about something that was traumatising me. So I’m changing the world and changing myself at the same time, and that’s still how I write now.”

And when Ashton isn’t making sense of the world’s traumas, past, present and future, what does she do for fun? She really has to think about this one, not because there isn’t joy in her life – it’s full of it – but because her life’s enjoyments are in many ways tied up in her work. “I feel attacked,” she says through a giggle, as I list some possible activities that she could do for fun outside of the classic film club she joined during lockdown, or the books she reads (she hosted last year’s Women’s prize for fiction podcast).

“I want to get back to the sea,” she says. “It changed my whole headspace. And I should take up gardening.” A day later, she sends me a follow-up email, concerned I might think she’s forgotten how to have fun. “I gave the most post-Covid answer to my free-time question. Forgetting that I love art galleries, live music, yoga and pilates, acupuncture and painting. Sometimes I’m still operating from a place of captivity!”

It’s time for Ashton to go. Hobbies or not, she has plenty on the horizon: she is a woman on the verge of everything from Marvel to motherhood. But, amid the upheaval, she appears to have found a new equilibrium. “I think over the past five years I’ve realised that the only way to do anything in this industry is to be anchored in myself,” she says. “As long as I have that, everything else will fall into place.”

Mr Malcolm’s List is released in the UK on 26 August and is out now in the US.