#new-berry

[longeyelashedtragedy]

Ivan Toney fucking Thomas Frank saying “ask me to stay. Beg me to stay.”

yes! want! need!

and. thomas frank has been in germany doing some bbc commentary...

[livelaughlovepedri]

What team would you want to see Barca play against that before?

Or if Spain like which other national teams

hmmm I would like them to play against man city, just bc city is my fave team from the pl and i think I would literally freak out 🤣 ALSO I would love to play against Bayern/Liverpool and get our revenge lol

and Spain idk it’s not my national team so idc that much about them hehe

[glassrooibos]

Everything stays right where you left it huh guys

[baby-girl-aaron-dessner]

Poetry on Palestine

[typewriter-worries]

The Glass Essay, Anne Carson | Molly Brodak, Molly Brodak | Mothman Apologia, Robert Wood Lynn | The Numbers Game, Emily Berry

[shawsimmer]

trying to hide his baby face

[winterpower98]

HEY NEZHA YOU MIGHT WANNA COME BACK YOU FORGOT SOMETHING

The blob bastard is loose, he's gonna cause problems- Oh, he was put in a jar. We're good

Masterpost

[ink-ghoul]

now to my fave minecraft worldbuilding topic

what can you cook? what's edible? what's possible with enough imagination?

I'd like to start with things that are present in-game (vanilla), first, the foods and drinks (ingredients too), having a loaf of bread with a nice mushroom stew seasoned with dandelions for breakfast is an option taken straight from the game

now let's say that I take the apples, wheat, milk, sugar and eggs to make an apple pie, that isn't in the game, but it's something possible to craft

in an extend things like salt can exist because the presence of sea water, same as things like bacon (pigs), cheese (milk) and so on

what if I throw the existing leaves in hot water to make tea?

or since all the dyes have an organic source can I make a rainbow cake?

how you cook things must be important too I imagine, maybe steak cooked in the smoker tastes way better than cooked with a fire aspect sword

[longeyelashedtragedy]

What are your most vanilla headcanons? Line what are your missionary position thoughts about Frank et al

Ohh at first I read this literally and was like hmm, is Frank a fan of missionary? This is a good one, I'm really horn dogging it these days but I'll take a peek into my soul for the vanilla that lurks within:

-Maybe this is kind of basic, but I think Frank really likes to be able to lie around reading a book with his uh, partner. This then becomes a bit tricky with Mason (and with Jamie who totally does not read books, but--secondary headcanon--I think Jamie loves Frank to read to him) because Mason isn't a reader. I think this might cause a bit of an internal challenge for Frank over time. As we kind of see in "couples try new things" there's a point where Frank breaks and can't keep playing the Daddy role--like, it's only natural for him up to a certain point. I think he'd grow frustrated not being able to Read Books with Mason, but wouldn't know what to do with that frustration. Then on the flip side, when he gets with Anthony he is threatened by Anthony's intelligence (which I haven't written about yet, but I'd really like to.) My man just can't win!

-Canonically, Frank Senior still lives in the same house all the kids grew up in. At least one of his two daughters lives right around the corner from him, and both daughters have fun going to his pub. Frank could drive over in an hour, hour and a half, but he...doesn't. So, here's where the headcanon comes in: sometimes Frank Sr goes into Franko's Little Bedroom (we got to see it in this ancient Chelsea video and the interactions between the two Franks sure are something alright) and just sits on the bed and lets the sadness? melancholy? wash over him. How did it end up like this?

-When Frank was a younger adult, I think he enjoyed being handy in the kitchen, but now he's taken on that Man Of The House persona (though from all I've taken in he doesn't give like...domineering asshole husband vibes) and sits around uselessly watching tv during cooking times. EXCEPT that I think his 90s sitcom marriage (as you so accurately called it!) winds up reinforcing this because I can definitely see Christine being like "omg, you're a hot mess do not come into my kitchen you'll ruin everything." (I can see this because she has said as much on Loose Women, lol.) Wonder who his role model is for Being a Good Husband? Uncle Harry I bet.

-It's funny, because some headcanons I've had then turn out to be true? For example, that Frank's spoiled to death by his in-laws (the Son they Never Had!) And god he must totally eat that shit up. I imagine that they were hesitant about Frank at first. A big shot footballer? Sure, he's rich, but there are so many bad stories about footballers...! But Frank Isn't Like the Others! He's smart and reads and pays attention to politics and writes in his journal on the team bus! He was able to make a good impression. How lucky that he Isn't Like the Others!

-Related...I headcanon that Frank Sr (back like over 10 years ago when his opinion still mattered) likes Christine's family's uh, philosophies on the UK. This actually comes up very briefly in the threesome fic because...what better place to put that than a threesome cmon

-When they were younger, Frank happily did Jamie's homework for him. Since Jamie's legendary neuroatypical brain made it hard for him to eat most foods, Frank would eat his extra unwanted food at family dinners. We know food was always a comfort for Franko, and this way no one would yell at Jamie for leaving food on his plate. They were always there for each other <3

-Has this come up in my fics? Probably. I'm not sure how to articulate this the right way--but I think Frank has never been in denial to himself about his sexuality. He's been ashamed, scared, all of that, sure. But I think he almost doesn't even wish he was straight? Like the only reason why he'd wish that was for the convenience. But he loves men and wants them with every ounce of his being! So he can't even imagine being another way. In my mind, he ultimately uses this to justify being a cheater, asshole, and a creep to younger lads, which is very fun to write.

-Is this one too spicy? I've been thinking this basically since the foundation of the Lampardverse lol--There's no way in hell Frank could have gotten married to a lady with a very "classically feminine" body type. Like noooooooo way. I think he'd freak the fuck out! His kinsey 5 powers can only go so far.

-Anthony has toooootally challenged Frank to a chess match. And Frank doesn't know how to play. So Anthony teases him about how he should be able to learn it quickly what with that IQ he has. Frank of course is stressed out by this because he can't have Anthony beat him in something.

-In the Derby era (digestif!) I think Frank fooled himself into thinking he was truly in love with Mason.

-It took Frank until 2021 to have a son and while I don't doubt that he loves his kids, I think he might have some mixed feelings about Having A Son--or if he doesn't now, he did then.

-I think Jamie Jamie Cousin Jamie and Christine must have an interesting relationship. She's definitely way smarter than he is, but they seem to get along quite well, and it's fun that they're in different parts of the same Industry--I think this puts Jamie at ease--she can treat him as a peer and not as Jamie the pretty face but total joke--and I'd like to think she appreciates Jamie a lot for actually treating Frank nicely, as I headcanon her as being a Frank Sr anti at this point too. Of course, as always with anything in the Lampard universe, there's a lot going on behind the scenes. Oh and--Christine and Frida (Jamie's wag) don't like each other at all.

-Oh, and I think this might actually be @protect-daniel-james 's idea, but it's so delightful that I have to put it out there--Mason was the snitch in the Utd dressing room last season!!!

shit did you want things that aren't Lampard related? this is kind of all I think about 😭. Except this:

-Nobody knew how much Mikel's sanity depended on Granit--not even Mikel 😭

[snoopshomaru]

[harveyguillensource]

Harvey attended WWDITS's last-ever NYCC panel in a glam-Guillermo outfit, complete with a blood-red reveal (cape seen on his chair onstage)!

[sprinkanao]

Berry Strawberry

[fullcravings]

Raspberry Champagne Pop-Tarts

[thatonequeeraunt]

Gonna tell my future kids this was System of a Down

[keylimeart]

dofp deleted scene save me

[longeyelashedtragedy]

oh god...that last sentence is deliciously horrifying!!! bless you for existing!!!!

Frank prayed it was just a nightmare, but his dad's red, sweaty face and the beer on his heavy breath were real.

NSFW, let’s say “I went there”

Incest warning

It’s worse that he never hears him coming. Not until he’s lurking behind him with a heavy hand on Frank’s shoulder at training. He has never let a floorboard squeak, and insisted on the thick rich carpet they have in the upstairs rooms.

It’s worse that the smell of his breath is only a mouthful of beer that leaves only the smell and no evidence he is actually drunk.

Frank prays every time that his father has forgotten how to kiss so well.