#god I love oversharing
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About Me (part 2!)
Thank you so much for the tag @mathomhouse-e!! I did this back when it was circulating before but I'm excited to see if my answers have changed since then!
Nickname: Kai or Crow, though I'll respond to anything
Sign: Sagittarius sun, libra moon, scorpio rising (yeah I know)
Height: 5'5" (I've grown an inch! In reality, though, I went to the doctor and got measured for the first time in years, giving me an extra inch to lord over all of my friends who are still 5'4" *cough, cough* @levi1088 and @birdbraintm)
Last thing I googled: oh this could be very embarrassing... oh thank god it's Tom Burke, the reason being that I saw his name in the credits of Mank and recognized it from The Musketeers (fantastic show, everyone should watch it, Tom Burke did an amazing job with Athos' complex character)
Song stuck in my head: Thankfully, I do not have one, probably because it's difficult to have a song stuck in your head when you're actively listening to music... (for anyone wondering, I'm listening to Lightning Crashes by Live, which is a childhood favorite handed down from my parents). I also had Voulez-Vous by ABBA stuck in my head earlier this week because I watched Mamma Mia over the weekend
Number of followers: 429 (I've gained about 40 since the last time I answered this, half of which are from the discord server lmao, I love you all my beloveds <3)
Amount of sleep: Time spent actually asleep? roughly 7 hours, give or take. Time spent laying in bed scrolling through my phone before falling asleep/after wakign up? Far longer, but I refuse to admit how much longer... I'm on break, sue me lmao
Dream job: this hasn't changed: university professor. It's been my dream job every since starting university (with a brief stint where I wanted to be a pilot, though that didn't last long when I realized how expensive getting a pilot's license is and that the only way to get one for free is to join the military...) because it's largely my only career path. As a cellular and molecular biology major, my two paths lie in pharmaceutical labs doing quality control or doing research funded by a university. Of the two, I'll always prefer the latter.
Wearing: This always feels like a main character describing herself in a badly written fanfiction, but here goes: black sweat pants, a grey long-sleeved t-shirt, black socks, and my hair is tied back with a hair tie in the world's smallest ponytail. Nothing fancy to see here. I don't even have my dangly earring in, though I do have my other earrings in (because they never get removed) which consist of a pair of small gauges, a septum ring being used as an earring, and a black industrial bar. I also have my rings and signature necklace, so I guess that counts for something. Idk
Movies/books that summarize you: Last time, I asked my roommate to answer this because she knows me best, but I don't have her here at the moment, so I'll take a stab at it. Where Hope Comes From by Nikita Gill is definitely a strong contender, simply because of the non-toxic positive messages it contains. I particularly enjoyed the book The Genome Odyssey by Euan Angus Ashley as well as Genome by Matt Ridley. Both vastly expanded my horizons in my chosen career path and have pushed me to better understand everything that can be done through the field of genomics. Antigone by... well, Sophocles is my favorite play (sorry Shakespeare, I have to agree with Hob on this one) because everyone talks about loving the way men love, but Antigone shows what it is to love the way women love. I adored it when I first read it at the ripe age of fourteen and I still love it today.
Favorite song: Too many to list. I have a playlist on spotify called Absolute Favorites that is over 7hrs long... If I had to pick, though, I'd say (right now) it's Saviour by George Ezra or Michigan Cherry by River Whyless. I'm not sure they'll stand the test of time to be included in my Absolute Favorites, but they're currently scratching specific itches in my brain and that's enough for now
Favorite instrument: My answer 100% has not changed: church organ, bagpipes, and the harmonica. I have religious trauma, blood that sings for Scotland, and I was raised in the American South. I'm not sure what else you could ever expect of me... I have to add to it, though, for sheer hilarity: the hurdy-gurdy. Tangentially, I love the fiddle and always wanted to learn how to play but never had the time/money to do so.
Aesthetic: I could copy/paste my answer from last time because it hasn't changed. As @the-cloudy-dreamer and I were talking about earlier, roughly 90% of my clothes are black, 7% are grey, and the rest are some variation of other neutral tones. Color and I do not oft get along, so I don't try. My skin is so pale that I could be an Endless sibling and I dress the part lmao
Favorite authors: Neil Gaiman, obviously. My literary tastes, however, rarely fall neatly along the lines of one author; I tend to pick up books as they interest me, not because I know or like the author, which leads to me reading books by wildly various authors and not having any particular favorites.
Random fun fact: I'm never quite sure what to put for questions like this... reading back over my answers from last time (I can lick my elbow, I rode horses for 10+ years, I own far too many tarot decks, and I have blue hair), they seem so surface-level, but they're also deeply intrinsic pieces of me that add up to the greater whole, and I'm not sure if I could fit anything deeper or more meaningful into a tumblr text box. I'm a photographer (or used to be), I'm a trans man (though I'm not out socially), I'm in a sorority (part of the reason why I'm not out socially, though not the entire reason), I have over 700 hours in Animal Crossing... if you want to know anything about me, just ask I guess, I'm an open book!
And because our whole server was tagged in one fell swoop, I have to exit our little bubble so I'm tagging @birdbraintm @levi1088 (my two IRL friends on tumblr), @landwriter @avelera @softest-punk @staroftheendless and @fishfingersandscarves (because it was surprisingly fun to revisit these questions to see how much, or how little, has changed) As always, feel free to ignore a tag! I'm also leaving an open tag: if you see this and want to do it, do it! I'd love to be tagged in it so I can be nosy!
#thanks for the tag!#god I love oversharing#I can't wait to see what everyone else answers for these#I love tag games#they're so much fun#I have so many tags to respond to lmao#dreamling nation rise up!
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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
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Eddie is me when I say something and then feel like I overshared
#eddie munson#joseph quinn#stranger things#stranger things vol 1#stranger things 4#eddie munson stranger things#the hellfire club#joe quinn#eddie deserves better#netflix#stranger things vol 2#eddie in s5#eddie as kas#corroded coffin#he’s an oversharer#god i love him
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In an attempt to find peace in the midst of all this, some personal self-care plans for today (in case anyone wants to join me in spirit):
Going to drink lots of coffee with the good creamer I have been saving
Will doodle my way through this online training, even if the drawings are silly and bad and only I ever see them
Am going to bake something inspired by a movie that I like as a silly little personal project
Will be writing silly little blurbs for my OCs (and if you have any requests/prompts for those, or would just like to see whatever situations I have put them in now, feel free to send an ask or two or three or whatever your heart desires)
Stay safe, y'all. I love you <3
#love guards the heart from the abyss and by God I am going to fill myself with so much love if it's the last thing I do#white knuckling my way through trying to be positive#dove overshares things
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i think uh. the Announcement has ruined my night actually. the more i think abt it the worse it gets haha.. 🙃🫠 like literally i don’t think there’s a way the movie can be good. i’m gonna get off social media for tonight & go play switch or smthn,,,,,,,,
#rambles#yes this is abt the fcking zelda movie#god i just. i’m so mad cuz like. i can’t just /not/ watch it cuz now it exists & i just. i have to#but i’m so tired GOD why does it have to be live action??#i literally don’t think i will ever come to terms with this#ugh & the worst thing that is so specific to me they’re gonna cast link as some ugly fuck actor who legit just looks like some dude#& (god i am oversharing rn) i literally love link so much & my aroace ass has never found an irl person attractive ever & i just.#i fear for my mental stability at this point#god i am sorry to anyone who’s reading these tags at this point i’m sorry for being such a. whiny baby lol
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Jimithon Mouthwashing is such a good representation of untreated, enabled NPD like it makes me want to squeeze the life out of him. I'm endlessly fascinated when watching him interact with his crew, surroundings, and himself because he's so fucking lost in his own sauce. It's insane. If I'm being real, it makes him my favorite character in the game.
It's a little scary to say, but watching Jimmy is like seeing a mirrored version of myself two years ago before I truly committed to treatment for my NPD. He's like a shadow. The opening line "I hope this hurts," which I believe comes from Jimmy right before the crash, is such a poignant statement. It's a simple line, but I can tell you from experience that the desire to hurt others when in a narcissistic rage is overwhelming. It's such a good line to sum up Jimmy's character in that moment. Luckily, in the real world, I had my friends and family there to catch me when I hit my lowest, even though I'd hurt them so many times. Jimmy probably could've used friends to force him into therapy (cough cough Curly cough cough)
#also I don't mean we're similar in any way when it comes to rape or SA. Please don't twist it that way at all.#I mean like in terms of the jealously resentment revenge hurting others to feel thrilled not taking responsibility not seeing flaws etc#I'm diagnosed with NPD also but pls know my experience will be different from others. We're all different people obvs.#also Jimmy has like wayyyyyyyyyy more things wrong with him not just untreated NPD lol#I would say that untreated NPD is a hell most can't describe#you barely feel anything except rage boredom and jealousy (in my case)#love is a form of ownership and control because you can't really feel it the right way#so your -person- is an object of intense obsession and also a tool for you#if that makes sense? I see that with Jimmy and Curly for sure#You want to tear others down and hurt them because it makes you feel good to put them below you#there's a constant feeling of insecurity and it drives you crazy fr#kind gestures from friends feel insulting#and oh my god achievements made by friends and family in my case feel like I've been shot like I hate when they achieve things#It's not logical obvs but that's something I instantly noticed in Jimmy so i was like .....oh brother lol#and also if they achieve something my brain needs it to somehow be tied to me or I'll make it tied to me so they can be thankful#they should always center their attention on me and if they don't I immediately resent them#these are just some of my thought processes on the matter so I can show the similarities I feel with Jimmy#the KEY DIFFERENCE is all of these thoughts I have are left in my head and not exhibited in my actions (any more. took a long time)#but he is such a nasty human with ZERO introspection that he prob never even thought about treatment#also doesn't help that the hot blonde he's friends with never did anything to help with that#idk sorry for oversharing but ahhh this game is so well written I gotta yap about it lol#also kind of a funny unrelated story to show how weird the achievement thing can be lol#my friends announced they saved up enough to go to Vietnam (their dream trip) and I was happy for them (I really was)#but of course my delusional ass immediately also took it as a threat#and I booked a month long trip to Europe a few days after so I could also announce it LMAO#that is a kind of innocent incident when compared to Jimmy but it just shows how annoying NPD can be#Jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#NPD
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ngl, didn't play EA but I'm poking around datamined dialogue from an EA version- I find it very inchresting, that seemingly, they definitely turned down the dream guardian's like horniness and romantic interest. Like it seems to be implied that at one point the dream guardian like- tries to kiss you during the first encounter, like lots of notes about cheek caress, thigh touching, and leaving you with a smooch souvenir. And then in the morning you get a pretty good idea of who everyone saw (Karlach didn't have a file for it that I saw and Shadowheart's was vague, beyond- "someone she is attracted to") and Gale is funnily enough seems (from my searching) to be the only one who admits that... yeah, he smooched them...
And like, totally get why they turned that down for final release, but god if that was still the case- I would have lowkey tried not to laugh my ass off when who the dream guardian is was revealed and ask Gale how he liked the taste of squid mouth, was it worth it, bud?
#bg3#baldurs gate 3#bg3 spoilers#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#look no shame to emperor fuckers and if anyone of the companions would be an emperor fucker it would be gale given his reaction if tav turn#but like god that fucking reveal would have had such a different vibe if I knew gale had kissed his dream guardian#i love gale but that is worth some fucking bullying also given the emperor is now flirting with me seemingly exclusively in front of them#like oh im romancing gale and the squid he kissed wants me now too- am i the homewrecker in this situation?#have i now through the transitive property kissed the squid?#is this the start of the worlds weirdest throuple?#probably not being mindflayers are a bridge too far for even my monster fucker ass#which tbh is just because i'm a lot more picky about amphibious reptilians or otherwise non-mammalian based monsters#and thats probably enough oversharing in the tags#tho also for those wondering gale sees mystra astarion sees cazador laezel sees vlaiikith wyll sees mizora and again shadowhearts is vague
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did u know the secret to mental health is developing an alter who matches ur freak and then getting kinda toxic and yaoiful about it in the headspace. this is real I think it's what they tell u to do in the dsm. u can believe me
#oversharing: one of the guys in my head has spent like . oh god 7 years? being the token freak.#but now there's two of us in here hehe and um. haha. let's just say I'm biting down on his head with my big dog teeth (violently)#and he loves it :3 <3 <3#we are going to gayly maul each other to death for fun (this is how we heal and learn to love ourself).#anyway this is Obviously not the only yaoiful thing going on inside my head u should see the relationship graphs I've mapped out#it's fun I'm having fun. I like being sober(-ish) and I like rediscovering different parts of myself
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I’m sorry but that boomer woman commenting on Georgia Tennant’s Staged post with powerful thirst is living rent free in my head
The entire British press: Wow look how cute Michael Sheen and David Tennant’s friendship is!! Wow, they’re such close friends, look at their bromance, they have such ✨ chemistry (no homo,) they’re totes obsessed with each other in an super heterosexual platonic way!!1! ^_^
Irene: Lol they fuckin can I watch
#i love boomers#they simply do not care#there for the dawn of the internet and yet don’t get etiquette. beautiful#you know she wrote mclennon fic on livejournal back in the day#good omens#bbc staged#there is a gestapo set up by the bbc to prevent press from even implying something gay is afoot stg#god bless oversharing boomers#david tennant#michael sheen#aziraphale#crowley#ineffable husbands#georgia tennant#staged
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just wanna sya i think its really cool that you love languages even if its something you kind of had to do bc of culture loss bc im the exact same way. my parents never taught me our language and now i have to put in the work to learn it when everyone around me knows that i should be fluent in it already but it led me to having a really great time learning languages. i'm not a no sabo kid but i wanted to say its nice knowing others are out there and im mentally high fiving all of yall if yall are comfortable with it
(does this make sense sorry im tired lol)
You're just fine! Mental high five!
The loss hurts terribly, but it's also made language infinitely more meaningful to me, and I do value that. I don't know that I'd revel in learning languages and linguistics the way I do if I wasn't coming from a place of grief at the core of it all.
That's not to say there's no joy--there most certainly is. But it redefines everything, if that makes sense. And it can feel so incredibly isolating, so knowing there are people experiencing and coping with the same complicated shame and longing for their language, whatever it may be, is comforting.
It's near indescribable, how incredibly embarrassed and shameful you feel. As if you're missing a piece of yourself and everyone can see it and you'll never be good enough. That no matter how hard you try, you're still uncertain and missing something--you have this whole mental battle to deal with on top of the difficulties of learning a language.
It sucks. But oh how I love language because of it. Every word, every sound, every abbreviation and history and the sheer humanity behind them all. I could spend every lifetime studying them and it'd never be enough <3
#language#language loss#quil's queries#crunchycrystals#god i love language#does any of this make sense#maybe i'm oversharing but. do u feel it#what I'm talking about?#do you get what i mean?#(not just you specifically. others in general)
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one thing about me I love a guy with CHOMPERS
#so cute to me when they laugh and it's just TEETH#oh I could just EATTT HIMMM#teeth and the face scrunch#i dont like my own teeth and they are actually a little crowded/too big for my face so seeing a man with these big straight teeth...omg...#im thinking tom hiddleston rohan campbell freddie stroma here#tbh josh brolin has nice teeth but they're set really solidly in his face like not goofy at all. and he rarely laughs in media 😂#i think he has veneers i remember a post about this. god he loves to overshare in a self effacing way lmfao
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Good news chat my latest episode of probably-depression is overrrr
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nothing like going to bed at 5am, waking up at 7am to go to breakfast, get the biggest most unfinishable meal, go home to take a nap until 2pm, wake up, and finish that meal.
#it was truly the best i love going to breakfast and we haven’t been able to go for a while#also i got hair dye so maybe i’ll do that today and give myself a haircut#i had strawberry butter waffles to fuel me and by god. it fuels.#indy overshares
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#There are days when I tell myself I am tired of being sad#like that will make it stop#it never does#like today#i did all the things i am supposed to do#i took a walk outside#i made a healthy lunch#i showered and washed my hair after days of grief and depression building on my skin#i drank water and had some fruit#i even wrote#and none of it stopped the sadness#i am once again unable to sleep#because i am *too sad*#too guilty#too something unidentifiable#i feel unwanted and annoying amd a burden and forgotten and#god so many things#amd the worst part is that logically i know none of these things are actually true#logically i know i have a place with my friends and loved ones#and in the fandom communities i call home#but logic isnt enough and the sadness wins#sigh#its 1am and i am tired#sorry for anyone who follows me for fun stuff and is continually assaulted with my late night oversharing lol#i give you squeezes and apologies#gin speaks
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Spending the entire evening doing a Q&A about our writing process on a shared google doc with my friends from college, talking on the phone with them and reacting/conversing as we write along might be the best way I ever spent an evening ever... Life is good actually <3
#this was so fun and reassuring and motivating and adorable#i love my friends so much#thank god I found them#and thank god i'm in a master's degree where other people write#pia's oversharing
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https://twitter.com/GameIdentityV/status/1676742756910129152 The anniversary piece is out! I keep typing and deleting things I want to say (it’s been 3 hours 🧍♀️), but from the bottom of my heart thank you so much for the love and support throughout the years, especially in drawing for IDV. I don’t think this would have been possible without it.
#told myself im gonna be open and talk and air out what i want to say today and by god im going to try#even if its only on tumblr OTL#to the person that put the 'i used to pray for times like these' image to bane and burke appearing i love u#reactions that are gonna rotate in my brain for the next 3 months#there's handles i rmbr that have been here for a while or have left a kind impression in some way#and its smthing ive been mulling over since anon brought up my old req art; thank u so much for cherishing my art#even if theres times where its difficult and i have trouble enjoying what i do#that theres people who can look at it without all the complicated feelings and enjoy it as is#it makes me really happy to think about#so again and again thank u#ok metronome no longer on oversharing mode i will proceed to clam up by tmmrw promise
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