#go to sleep before 5am for once in your life

[togrowoldinv]

Instagram

Natasha Romanoff x Female Reader

You find out about Natasha’s secret Instagram while she’s away on a mission

Note: Inspired by the romanoffthereal account Scarlett is definitely running lol. Enjoy this one!

Natasha Masterlist 1, Natasha Masterlist 2, Natasha Masterlist 3, Main Masterlist

When you walk into the living room, you hear your oldest kids giggling. You smile at the sound, but your curiosity is piqued when you notice their attention is on a phone.

“What’s up?” You ask them. Ali drops her phone into her lap and they all turn to you. You raise a brow.

“Hi Mom,” she says. Her voice is sincere but her eyes don’t quite meet yours.

“Do I even want to know?” You ask, assuming it was something the kids wouldn’t want to spend time explaining why it’s funny.

The boys stand up as if on cue and excuse themselves with a little side hug to you. They’re getting older, but still remain sweet.

“Just ask Mama,” Ali says before running off too.

You shake your head in confusion. Why would Natasha know what they’re laughing at? She’s not even in town. A mission she didn’t want to go on pulled her away for a couple of weeks.

The rest of the day is spent trying to wrangle all of the kids. You don’t find anymore sneaky laughter sessions. Settling in for the night, you lie down and get on your phone.

That’s when you see your friend sent you a post on Instagram. It’s been a while since you opened the app, finding yourself way too busy with kids and with Nat not wanting too much of the family information online.

You open the message to see a picture of a Black Widow toy along with other Avengers. Before you even read the caption of the post, you read the message from your friend.

Is this your wife?

You furrow your brow in confusion. Clicking on the photo, you see the post is written in first person from an account named romanoffthereal.

Surely not, you type in response.

You examine the photo further and wonder if it really could be her. But surely she would’ve told you she made a secret Instagram. Right?

You try to sleep, but the cold spot in the bed next to you doesn’t help. You miss Natasha. Glancing at the clock, you decide maybe she’s getting up across the world.

Your contact photo of Nat always makes you smile. A silly selfie she took one day on your phone when you left it on the table. You click on it and wait for your wife’s voice to ring through.

Unfortunately she never picks up. You sigh and put your phone back on the nightstand. Sleep never comes around and soon it’s 5am.

You get up and start on breakfast for the kids. It’s a never ending process, but you wouldn’t trade it for anything. The life you and Natasha have made is absolutely perfect.

As if she knows you’re thinking of her, Natasha finally calls you back.

“Hey,” you answer.

“Hi sweetheart,” she replies. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“You sound upset. Plus, you called me in the middle of the night,” Natasha explains.

“You knew I was upset by me saying one word?”

“I’m a spy, baby,” she jokes. “And we’ve been married forever now. I have good news though.”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“One second,” she says.

You wait for her to reply over the phone, but instead you’re met with the front door opening. Natasha walks in with a grin on her face.

Whatever fruit you were cutting is abandoned. You run over to her and hug her tight.

“It’s okay,” Nat says. “I’m back.”

“I missed you.”

“I missed you more,” Nat replies.

You kiss her lips and hold her tight once again. Soon, the kids wake up and everyone is so happy to see Nat.

By dinner time, she’s soaked up all of the love she can take. Nat escapes to some solitude to decompress from the mission.

You take her a plate of food to your bedroom. She’s sitting on the bed on her phone.

“So, I have a question,” you say. She narrows her eyes. “And I expect you’ll have an answer.”

“Okay,” she says, but comes out more like a question.

“Do you have an Instagram you didn’t tell me about?”

Natasha smirks. She’s been caught.

“Which one of those kids ratted on me?” She asks.

“Wait, it’s true?!”

“It was for fun,” Nat shrugs. “For the kids to laugh at. So who told you? Was it Jack? He never could lie to you.”

“It was not the kids actually,” you say. “Although, I did see them all laughing at their phone’s yesterday and Ali said to ask you why.”

Natasha chuckles and smiles softly at the fact that she made the kids laugh. She prides herself on being humorous, even in a nerdy way.

“My friend sent me the post though,” you say. Nat doesn’t smile at that.

“Shit, I thought I made it private.”

“No, baby. You know for a super spy, you’re really bad at using media,” you tease her.

“I’ll remember you said that,” Nat says, feigning seriousness.

You laugh and lean into her. Nat wraps you in a hug so tight you can barely breathe.

“I’ll delete it,” Nat says after a minute.

“The kids like it. Just have them help you make it private,” you suggest.

“Deal.” A minute later she adds, “I love you.”

“I love you more,” you reply.

“Mhm,” she hums.

You pull away from her just enough to look in her eye. She kisses you deeply. Her want for you is evident in her touch.

“The kids occupied?” She asks.

“I turned on a movie,” you say.

“Perfect.”

The two of you don’t waste a second getting reacquainted with each other. Life with her is perfect with her silly Instagram and all.

[rxzennia]

nocturnality

– tales of the voracity pathstrider

✎𓂃 irregular sleep patterns make for good nightmare consolation

aventurine wakes up in a cold sweat, throwing off the sheets as he sits up abruptly. 4am, his bedside clock reads, and he rubs his eyes. he can’t get the images of the thirty-four slaves he had killed out of his head; he watched the life drain from their eyes, and they were children like him. neither could he be rid of the feeling of blood on his hands, from those whom he stained himself with, and those who stained themselves upon him.

see, he isn't the type to seek anyone out in his moment of vulnerability

he doesn’t trust anyone to not take his fears and use them against him

but he thinks you might be safe

you did put up with him for 5 years and counting, after all 

although he still can't really tell if you like working for him

you haven't left yet! and you seem to care about him!

it means something to him, even if you're not outright showering him with warmth

he would've loved it if you were more affectionate, but he finds himself liking the way you’re only ever soft for him 

you’re a slab of ice to everyone else (even to him occasionally, if he doesn’t pester you enough to get you to open up)

anyways, he debates between texting, calling, or visiting you in person

your room is not too far away from his block – he might as well try his luck

(he has insanely good luck, so maybe you will be awake)

before that, he sends you a text just in case

it's not even a text, it's just a random sticker in his recents

your reply comes a few seconds later, and it's so characteristically you

one question mark. literally. just “?”

there he has it, you're still up and about. aventurine is used to your patterns by now, even if he can’t wrap his head around how you sleep so late and rise so early.

well, as long as you're well and doing your job properly, he's not going to question it

though he does wonder if you sleep at all

you’re his dutiful secretary during the day, sorting his documents, reminding him of his schedule and the like

you even follow him into meetings if he asks you to 

sometimes he has to be ready by 5am

and guess what? you're awake and all dressed up by then, knocking at his door at 5am sharp

but you don't go to bed until 3am?

he only knows that because he had once tried to talk to you about a project idea he had at that time and you didn't pick up the phone 

when you finally did pick up on his second call (in his defense, you usually weren’t asleep yet), you sounded groggy

and then you were like “mrrrrrh what is so important that you must wake me?”

he will never tell you how much he found your sleepy voice adorable

that was the earliest he's ever seen you sleep in all the days that he's known you

he really, really hopes you’ll renew your contract with him

you’re his absolute favorite out of all the secretaries he’s had

no one’s as soft with him as you are

no one’s ever tried to listen to him, or to understand him the way you do

out of everyone, you’re the only one who he feels some sort of genuine connection with

he’s seriously considering giving you a permanent position when your current contract ends

a familiar sequence of knocks sound at your door, and you know it's aventurine who's come to visit you. you've set up something like that with him because of the sheer frequency at which he bothers you outside of office hours, and you'd like to know which inconsiderate bastard it is who tries to visit your room past midnight.

affectionately, of course

it's not like he's causing you any inconvenience, so you don’t really care

you look at him, and wordlessly, you open your arms

you don’t need an explanation, or excuses, or an apology, or anything

his eyes are bloodshot, and you can see the cold sweat still on his forehead

he didn’t even bother tidying up before coming to see you

your heart aches, because it isn’t very often your boss comes to you in this state

he doesn’t even hesitate before he plops face first into your embrace

you’re lucky it’s the ungodly hours of no-one-is-awake, because you bringing your boss into your room is not a good look for you

especially when he’s holding onto you like you’re his secret lover or something

you don’t talk, and neither does he

you just hold him as he clings to you like you’re his lifeline

you lift him up easily; you're not about to stand in the doorway for the rest of the night 

he likes how you don’t ask questions, how you comfort him without expecting anything in return

you don’t even know what exactly it is that plagues him, but you’re so tender with him all the same

you settle down in bed with him, though he can tell that you were working before he interrupted you

your monitors are still on, and you have a dozen of papers laid out side-by-side along with a pen that is now abandoned

he feels a little bad, but also he’s overwhelmed by how easily you do these things

like… setting your work aside because he’s looking for comfort

but you’re not even doing it consciously? you’re doing it so naturally like you’re doing it out of habit

he doesn’t think you intended to tuck him into your bed when you picked him up

he doesn’t get it. he doesn’t get you.

you could’ve held him in your lap while you worked and he wouldn’t have complained

to give him your undivided attention like this

are you trying to make him lower his guard? 

he wants to draw the natural conclusion of your eventual betrayal once he lets you in, but he finds it so ridiculous that it’s impossible

you? who’s so gentle with him? who’s not even spoiling him consciously?

aventurine doesn’t feel safe with many people, if at all. the fact that he breathes so peacefully by your side is a surprise in and of itself. when your fingers brush against his hair, he shivers and holds onto your arm tighter. 

“don’t go,” he says, as sleep slowly takes him again, “stay.”

you chuckle, a sound that he loves to hear, as you offer him your entire right side

and your scarf

you don’t know if he’d like it, but you flick the end on your right over to him anyway

he does like it. he snuggles into the fabric without hesitation

he vaguely remembers the fact that your scarf is your weapon, but it’s the least important thing on his mind right now

it’s soft. it smells like you. it’s comfortable.

you’re still trying to work, settling for reading through documents on your tablet

he cuddles up to you, shifting in your warmth until he finds himself a nice position to settle into

you let him sleep by your side, even if you’re unlikely to rest yourself

it’s okay, you can work through the night just fine with your tablet

you’ll be right next to him when he wakes

you glance at aventurine, who’s finally relaxed and getting the rest he deserves. he’s snoring softly all the while holding your arm in a death grip, and you feel yourself overcome with a surge of protectiveness.

you’ll watch over him. when he’s feeling better, you’ll see if he wants to talk about it. and whatever happens next… well, you’ll cross that bridge when you get there. you still have contracts and agreements to review, and there’s only so much time before more work ends up on your plate.

that said, aventurine’s day starts in three hours; maybe you could shuffle a few things around and let him sleep in?

[danieyells]

Rui mizuki’s lines from Tokyo debunker if you haven’t yet PLEASE I will love you for all eternity

They’re edging me with the rui crumbs every chapter I can’t take it anymore

One flirty reaper coming right up!! And by right up i mean almost a week after you asked hhahaha

BUT YEAH WE DO GET A LITTLE OF HIM HERE AND THERE i wonder why he pops up so much. Especially for someone who allegedly tries not to be around other people much due to his deadly touch? Kinda sus--

also this is the first time i've posted all of someone's lines! not that i don't always end up posting 95% of them anyway, but for some reason some of Rui's were ordered weird(they're normally not entirely in order but they're usually sectioned properly, but for some reason one of his affinity chats was way in the wrong place) and I ended up closely paying attention to which one i was looking at and before i knew it i posted all of them lmao. . . .

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"{PC}, hey! Here's to another day vibing our way through curse twin life!"

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"Huh? Did you know you've got unread messages? Oh, that's why you've been leaving me on delivered! Ahaha!"

no that's just because my adhd makes me hyperfocus on things and it refuses to allow me to attempt to allot attention or energy to things it deems me not having enough attention span or energy or time for and i'm sorry--

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"Aw c'mon Ed, again? Why does he always leave his socks on the floor... It's actually exhausting picking up after him all the time..."

lazy sloppy vampire lol

"You look kind of tired {PC}, you doing okay? Why don't you stop by the bar later? I can be your shoulder to cry on."

"Hey! You on break now? If you're super nice and you're gonna come chill with me now, put your hands up!"

"{PC}...were you just checking me out? Hey, it's all good, don't be embarrassed!"

"Oof, Ed popped out of nowhere so I accidentally touched him and he died again. Now I have to carry him all the way back to the dorm..."

i love the face he makes when he says this lmao like he is so tired of Ed's carelessness!

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"{PC}! Did you come here to see me first thing? No way! You just made my day!"

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Aw c'mon, Ed, what are you doing sleeping out here? Didn't you just take a nap, old man? You're gonna catch a cold!"

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Oh hey, it's {PC}! Can't believe I ran into you here, so random! Guess we've gotta go on a date now, huh? It's like, written in the stars!"

i love flirty characters like rui lolol just. there's always More Going On there. and Rui starts off with More right off the bat.

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I can touch the plants as long as I have gloves on! I mean yeah, I'm pretty sure the same goes for people, but don't you think it'd be scary to test it out?"

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Come swing by the bar later! I'd rather watch a pretty face like yours while I work instead of a bunch of drunk guys."

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"What? Ed was praising my good looks? I mean he's right, right? People always tell me my face is my only redeeming feature!"

but rui works so hard!? who's saying that!!

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Oh sorry, I don't do the whole class thing! You go, I'm all good here!"

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Ouch! Aw man, that rose thorn just scratched my arm... Wait, nooo! My rose bushes are wilting!!"

it's so easy for him to accidentally kill anything lmaoooo

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Are you out here by yourself, {PC}? Isn't that like not super dangerous? ...Wait, did that make sense? Whatever, let me walk you back!"

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Sorry! A drunk customer broke a glass, so I'm cleaning it up! Everyone's a little pent-up lately, I guess."

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"Watering plants in the AM is such a mood lift, right? Whoa, everything's blooming like crazy out here! Better get my pruning shears."

it's a testament to how well he takes care of these plants that they grow super well in permanently-night Obscuary, i think. 8'D

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Huh? Look, you've got loose threads on your uniform. Give it to me, I'll fix it for you!"

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Hey, {PC}, did you eat yet? My door's always open! You can just stay the night after!"

damn already inviting you to stay over at affinity 13--just don't share the bed, you'll wake up super dead

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"(yawn) Wow, I am dead tired... but I've gotta take a shower, make breakfast, and do the laundry before those two sleepyheads get up."

it takes a real man to be a single mother. . . .

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"Oh hey, what's your poison? Wait, I mean, morning! Man, I tried to take my friend's drink order when we were hanging out yesterday too, occupational hazard I guess."

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"A mission? I'm good, thanks though! Oh hey, you should invite Lyca! He'd totally be into that!"

Lyca also probably needs them to pass the grade lol

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"No way, look at the time! Wish I could keep listening to you talk... Wanna stay over?"

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Oh man, I'm sorry! I'm closing early, I've got plans with a friend tonight. It'd be awesome if you could come by tomorrow!"

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Congrats on making it through another day, {PC}! I seriously admire you for working so hard. You're not doing this all for me, are you?"

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"Morning! Whoa, you wanna help me with the housework, {PC}? It's all good, thanks though! The thought's more than enough for me."

c'mon, refusing help at affinity 20? let the pc be your little helper at least!

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Obscuary looks like it'd be full of downers, but it's actually pretty lively in there, right? Not gonna lie, I def prefer it that way."

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Lyca's an open book, but the flip side is he says the darndest things... I feel like watching him is bad for my heart..."

he talks so much about his teammates, he really is such a mom. . . .

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"My eyes are red? Huh, that's weird... Oh yeah, I was cutting onions just now when I was preparing the appetizers for the bar!"

. . .idk this is pretty high affinity. . .you were crying about something weren't you rui. . .or romeo paid you in weed and you were getting tweaked up in the back of the bar

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Oh, don't worry about me, I always sleep late! I'm down to chat till you drift off to dreamland."

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"Sometimes I wish I could've met you as a regular guy. I guess you wouldn't have given me the time of day if I had though, ahaha."

is it just me or. . .does it feel like he gets a little more distant as his affinity gets higher? like after affinity 17 it feels like he gets a little less flirty and a little more at arms length. . .like he knows his feelings are getting so strong that he might not be able to resist touching you, but he's too scared to do it even with the gloves on. . .so he tries to keep you a little further away. . .and then he admits it, he wishes he could be with you like a normal person, but if he were just some flirt in the street none of this would have ever happened. Poor Rui, he's cursed to be beloved but unable to give love how he wants in return.

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"Oh man, so nice... The weather's like perfect this time of year, right? Wish we could just chill like this forever."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Man, you wouldn't even know it was spring with how bleak it is in Obscuary! Aren't there any cuter anomalous plants out there?"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"I feel like Ed's getting more senile every day... Maybe I should confiscate his tablet."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"So, what do you think of my spring-inspired cocktail? Almost as cute as you, right? I'm gonna add it to the menu!"

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"C'mon! It's summer, how can the sun never rise in Obscuary!? I wanna get a tan!"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"It's not summer if you don't hit the beach! I used to go all the time back when I surfed. And then I'd pick up girls on my way home... Just kidding, I promise!"

why 'just kidding' lolol you're not together! this relationship is not monogamous even if you were!

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Ta-da! I've got sparklers! Fireworks are fun and all, but there's something special about holding a light that only sparkles for a hot moment."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"It's so hot out, I bet the bar's gonna be a ghost town... Guess I'll send Harurin and Romi a PR message!"

reaching out to the local population of alcoholic ghouls to remind them to give him business lol

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"There's so many dead leaves this time of year, it's a nightmare keeping on top of them! But you can use them to make a fire and roast stuff. Gotta look on the brights!"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Hey {PC}, when are you free? I have a date idea for us—a romantic walk to admire the fall leaves! I'll pack us a lunch!"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Oh damn! You look so cute all bundled up like that, {PC}! We've gotta take a selfie together!"

direct contrast to romeo who sees you in winterwear and calls you a fat slug kekw

(between 8pm and 5am)

"That piano anomaly makes the soundtrack for the bar! The song picks really tug at the heartstrings, right?"

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"You're a little late today, huh? If you can't get up in the cold, I could be your alarm!"

just gotta be really loud since he'd be too afraid to touch you awake, since he actually wants you to y'know wake up--

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Oh man, how is Lyca so full of energy when it's this cold? You should take him to Frostheim and see if he runs around in the snow like a puppy."

rui pointing at lyca: that dog is my son please take care of him

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Nothing like winter to make you miss the warmth of human touch... Oh, I'm good! Just getting to talk like this is all I need!"

BBY WE ARE ALL BUNDLED UP. YOU CAN HUG YOU'VE BOTH PROBABLY GOT ON AT LEAST TWO LAYERS JUST DON'T TOUCH FACES.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Here, this Rui-original hot cocktail will warm you up! I'll blow on it for you, free of charge!"

is this the next step after gamer bathwater. host club host breath.

His birthday: (March 14th)

"Yeah, it's my birthday today! Oh damn, you're gonna celebrate it with me!? No way, I'm like, super touched right now!!"

Your birthday:

"{PC}... Happy birthday!! C'mon, birthday girl, sit down and chill out! This is your day, you should take it easy!"

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year! Want to start the year off on a high and come on a shrine date with me?"

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"Oh damn, are these for me? My heart! Is this your way of professing your love to me? Do I have a shot here?"

White Day: (March 14th)

"Ta-da! Happy White Day! This is for you! What's inside? You've gotta open it and find out!"

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"Guess what!? I finally broke my curse! Let's hold hands... just kidding! April Fools!"

this feels more like a joke on him than on you. . .a mean one at that lol

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Happy happy happy Halloween!! Trick or treat! Obviously I'm picking trick, ahaha!"

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Merry Christmas, {PC}! Oh man, I must be like, super blessed to get to spend it with you!"

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"Hey, hey, hey! We finally get to spend some time together, it's illegal to take your eyes off me!"

(13 affinity and above)

"{PC}? You seem kind of busy, guess I'll take this chance to get some work done…"

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"{PC}, you're back! I was worried you'd forgotten about me!!"

he's so flirty and clingy, but also he can't be clingy because he's scared you'll die if he touches you, even if he's wearing gloves. . .also surely your curse would cancel out his? Then again I'm sure a reaper i stronger than any other [living] anomaly out there. . . .

but. yeah. rui's a darling haha he just. he's another one of the 'i just wanna be a regular person, i wanna go back to normal' characters whose desire to just be a guy makes him special in a more fantastical world. i'm really looking forward to seeing the Obscuary chapter--probably like a month away, right? 'u'

[emeritusemeritus]

if you’re taking requests can you do fred x artist!reader maybe? it’s okay if not though! (:

Hi love! Let me start by saying I’m sorry that this completely took on a life of its own. I started writing and I couldn’t stop, too engrossed in the story. I wasn’t sure what kind of art you wanted to include so I made the reader a painter/ designer and an all round creative. I’ve sobbed writing this and I’ve even had to split it into two parts because I’ve fallen down a hole and written over 8 thousand words, not joking.

I hope you enjoy! I shall now go and rest 😂🖤

Part 2 will be posted HERE once it is uploaded.

Warnings: ANGST. Sadness, breakups, illusions to cheating, breakup references. Happy ending I promise! Talks of marriage, proposals, Hagrid and his creatures, Fang being the goodest boy. Lots of tears and sadness but it gets better! Not beta read nor spellchecked, apologies for any mistakes. Timeline is a little wonky (picturing it OOTP just before the twins departure but there’s no war/no Umbridge)

Word count: 4.9k [Part 1&2= 8.2k] 😬

The Artist and the Entrepreneur part 1

You walked into your dorm in an exhausted slump, trying desperately not to sigh too loudly of our sheer exhaustion in order to not wake your dorm mates. It was nearly 11:30pm by the time you had made it back to the dorms, having to wake and then calm down the fat lady who was not willing to listen to your explanation of why you were out so late. You needed to bathe and get to sleep, ready for classes the next morning but you could barely function, trying desperately to summon the energy to undress and make your way to the bathrooms. It was a necessary evil but it had to be done and so you dragged your near-lifeless body to the bathroom and began running a bath, which thankfully filled up quickly with almost perfect temperature water. You grimaced as you peeled the uniform away from your body, wincing at a particularly nasty wound on your right forearm which you would attempt to heal after you'd bathed. Your hands were covered in paint, mud and whatever else had made their way under your nails, arms littered with paint splatters and other vague marks.

Sinking down into the water, you forced yourself to stay awake feeling suddenly soothed by the warm water, both physically and mentally. It had been a hard couple of weeks, stretched beyond your means as your timetable suddenly doubled. You were tired, exhausted and still there was another week to go of this madness, but it would all worth it on the end.

You dried quickly, assisting yourself with a flick of your wand and dressed into your pyjamas, hardly managing to scoop up your dirty uniform on your way back to bed.

5am came much quicker than you'd have liked. It was almost as if you'd closed your eyes and opened them again only a minute later. You crawled out of bed trying again to stay silent and reached for the clean set of uniform and robes on the chair beside your bed, kicking the lump of dirty uniform under your bed to deal with later. You slipped into the bathrooms to dress so that you wouldn't wake anyone and slipped down to the common room, pray in that you didn't see anyone on the way. You cast a glance at the boys dormitory staircase and felt a stab of sorrow thinking of Fred and how you'd barely seen him in the past two weeks. You were often gone before breakfast and not back until well past curfew, not that either of the twins ever abided by the rules.

"Oh shush," you said to the fat lady who had begun her usual spiel of sounding the alarm due to you being out of bed out of hours, not listening nor remembering the speech you'd given everyday for the past two weeks as you attempted to sneak out. You couldn't afford to be discovered by the prefects nor any teachers roaming the corridors, as above board as your mission was- you couldn't risk Fred finding out what you were doing.

Sunlight shone through the windows as you made your way around the castle, holding back a shiver at the coldness of the castle in the late March morning, your robes doing very little to shield you from the chill. You crept out of the castle and marvelled at the beautiful first rays of daylight peaking through the trees of the forbidden forest. You looked ahead and saw that smoke was billowing from the chimney of Hagrid's hut, the only sign of life against the otherwise serene backdrop of the forbidden forest. You made your way slowly, enjoying the peaceful walk down to the hut, hoping that Hagrid had put the kettle on in anticipation of your arrival.

"Morning y/n!" Hagrid says with a wide smile, bustling around in the small hut, much too awake for this time in the morning. Fang in stark contrast lay slumped in his bed and half asleep, continuously disturbed by Hagrid's banging. A steaming cup of tea lay waiting for you on the table and you thank him graciously, taking a soothing sip of the hot liquid. You look at the clock on the wall beside the window as see that it's nearly half 5 now, the sun rising in the sky and greeting an almost ethereal light across the magnificent castle, a sight that still amazed you even seven years later.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Hagrid asks, noticing you gazing up at the castle and you share a smile for a moment, the tiredness having faded now thanks to the alarmingly strong cup of tea that you'd now become accustomed to.

"Ready to get to work now?" He asks, watching you drain the last of the tea from the large mug. You try to hide your disappointment from being dragged out once again to the edge of the forest, knowing that you'd signed up for this. You nod with a smile, navigating around the large table as you move towards to door behind Hagrid. You shoot a look towards Fang, wanting to give him a parting stroke but you notice quickly that he's fallen back to sleep and so you leave him alone to snooze, wishing that you could too.

It was nearly half 8 when you walked into the great hall, taking a brief detour to the bathrooms as you washed your hands and to hide any evidence of your morning. Your early start was already catching up to you and you hid a yawn behind the sleeve of your robe as you walked through the doors of the great hall. You checked your robe one last time for any signs of evidence but thankfully you were clear, noticing only a moment later when you took you'll place at the table that there was a great dollop of pint upon your shoe.

"Here she is," George says from across the table, nodding his head towards you as you climbed onto the bench beside Ron in the gap between him and Neville.

"Switch with Y/n Ronald," Fred says from beside him without a hint of a please. Knowing he won't get any manners out of his older brother, Ron complies and shifts up to allow you to sit beside your boyfriend.

"Thanks Ron," you say, trying to hold off the yawn that was threatening to break free at any moment.

"Morning beautiful, you're late," Fred says, his hand slipping across your back as you pour yourself a large glass of pumpkin juice. He frowns at the coldness of your robes beneath his fingers but doesn't say anything. "You overlay again?"

"Yeah," you lie, feeling immediately guilty about the fact. "Snape's set us a load of work, took me ages to figure it out last night. Didn't get a lot of sleep." As if to prove your point, the yawn you'd been suppressing finally escapes with so much force that it makes your eyes water.

You manage to force down some toast, staying quiet as the conversation continues around you. The first bell rings and you barely hold back a sigh, detesting the fact that you'd have to get up again.

"I can walk you to potions?" Fred says, holding his hand out to help you off the bench. You're quick to conceal the paint on your shoe and if he notices, he doesn't say anything.

"And have you late for charms again?" You counter, raising an eyebrow at your boyfriend who just shrugs completely unfazed.

"Haven't seen you much lately, thought you'd been avoiding me."

His words feel like a stab directly to your heart, knowing that you were guilty of avoiding him, though it wasn't in a negative way. Your craved the time with him, of mischief in the late hours and spontaneous moments in hidden corridors and empty classrooms.

"I promise I'm not," you say with a smile, trying to vanquish his idea completely as you lean up to press a kiss to his full lips. His arms immediately grab your waist as he pulls you in for a deeper kiss that borders on inappropriate but you relent, unable to resist after not seeing him properly for so long.

"So, potions?" Fred smirks, pulling away. You chuckle, placing your hands on his chest.

"For me? Yes. For you? No, get to charms," you order playfully, leaning up to give him one last peck on the lips before turning away. "See you at lunch!"

You can hear his boyish chuckle as you walk away down the corridor in the opposite direction of him, praying that he would be entirely too focused on the swishing of your behind and that the paint on your shoe would go entirely unseen.

By lunch you were completely exhausted, too tired to even notice the suspicious side-eyes from the identical twins as they watched you poke around at your food and down a second cup of very strong tea, having outwardly complained that the first one was too weak. Uncharacteristically for them, they said nothing and continued to chatter amongst themselves, keeping the conversation open for you though you didn't give much imput.

"Fancy the black lake tonight, after hours?" Fred whispers in your ear, knowing even without looking that a smirk would be tugging at his lips. You inwardly grimaced, cursing your ridiculous secret plan as you wished more than anything that you could join him. You were running out of excuses now, finding it hard to keep track with what you'd already lied about.

"I can't tonight, got an essay for snape in the morning I've still not finished," you say with a guilty expression, almost wincing as the words too-effortlessly tumble out of your mouth. "Friday night I promise?"

He seems put out almost instantly, never one to be able to conceal his emotions well. He looks frustrated, confused and rejected within seconds of each other and gives a halfhearted nod at your counter offer of Friday instead.

The bell rings signalling the end of lunch and you hope for a kiss before parting but lose all hope when you feel his lips briefly brush your hairline and he runs off to catch up with George and Angelina.

You avoided the common room after classes, choosing instead to sneak down to Hagrid's a little early, thankful for Thursday evening Quidditch practice which meant that you wouldn't cross paths with Fred.

"Y/n, I'm nipping out tomorrow on dumbledores orders, think you could nip down and check in everything while I'm gone?" Hagrid says as you out dutifully complete your given task, hoping to get it done quickly so you could try and salvage a bit of time tonight for Fred. His questions throws you off for long enough that you feel a hot gust of fire breezing past your right ear, followed by a burning sensation in the same spot. He's quick to act and gets you out of harms way before any more damage is done whilst you remain slightly frozen in both fear and contemplation. You knew you couldn't say no, in debt to his generosity and so you simply nodded, already dreading the implications of your acceptance.

It's late once again when you arrive at the common room, only half an hour til curfew, and despite your attempts at hiding your tiredness and attempting to appear happy and neutral, you can't help but feel the guilt swirling in your gut when you see Fred and George pedalling their products to the younger students with wide smiles on their faces and still dressed in their quidditch uniforms. You sneak up to Fred once he's done with a sale and slip behind him, placing your hand on his shoulder to alert him to your presence. 

Only, when he turns around his smile slowly fades upon realisation that it's you and your heart immediately begins to break, knowing that it was the other way round. He doesn't instantly reach out for you with his big grabby hands like usual nor does he attempt to kiss you. You try and salvage the situation, putting more effort in, trying to be as normal as possible but he seems to see right through the act.

"Wanna sneak out? I hear the black lake is beautiful this time of night." You say with a smirk, trying desperately to mask your tiredness and to hold it together. He doesn't jump at the chance as you hoped and instead casts a cursory glance to George before turning back to you.

"Can't tonight, got to restock the snack boxes with George," he says, briefly touching your hand before a third year calls his name, hand outstretched ready to buy one of his creations. Your stomach sinks, knowing that it's a lie and the irony of the situation only seems to hurt you more as you feel your eyes well up with fresh tears. You excuse yourself immediately, not even greeting your friends who you can tell are watching the tense exchange and you hope more than anything that no one follows you. You're completely depleted with exhaustion, running on hardly any sleep and completely overworked by your own doing. Suddenly the outcome didn't seem worth it and you regretted ever starting, finding your idea foolish.

You let your tears flow as you shower, passively washing away the fresh marks from the day off your arms, the clear gel and the colourful spatters draining away down the plug hole with your tears. You wince in pain when the water falls directly onto the freshly wounded skin behind your ear and your neck, execrating yourself for missing that spot despite Hagrid's warnings.

Too tired and upset to face going back down to the common room, you give up and reward yourself with an early night, though you feel anything but rewarded.

5am came around once more and more than ever you begrudgingly pulled yourself from the warm bed and slipped into the bathroom, the reminder of Fred's rejection playing on your mind from the second your eyes opened. Had you dreamt about it? Either way his reaction was firmly imprinted on your mind and you couldn't get away from how desperately painful it was to have him reject you like that. You slipped out of the common room on autopilot, closing the door with a little too much force already anticipating the fat lady's usual ranting and slumped off towards Hagrid's hut. The skies looked as sombre and sorrowful as you felt, covering the sky in a dull grey hue that seemed to dull the normally beautiful sunrise. You were quiet this morning, not rude or impolite but simply quiet as you worked alongside Hagrid, consumed by your foreboding thoughts knowing that you would still have to cancel Fred tonight, if he even cared anymore.

Once your morning jobs were complete, you decline any further invite to stay and decide instead to sneak back into the castle for breakfast, hoping you could join your friends and boyfriend like usual. Breakfast had only just begun when you walked into the great hall, having made your usual stop off at the girls bathrooms on the way and you're not surprised when the only person sat at the table is Hermione who's already got her head down in a book. She lifts her head up to greet you happily as you sit opposite her at the table, beginning to place her bookmark on the page she's on but you tell her not to, to enjoy the peace whilst she can. She shoots you a grateful smile and you sit enjoying your second cup of tea in peace, thankful you could make this happen today. You knew it was at the expense of your other jobs and you'd most certainly pay for it in the long run but having half of the morning to reset still felt good.

"Morning," Angelina says as a sits down at the table next to Hermione who this time only says a passive greeting, much too engrossed in her book. Angelina reached immediately for a glass of pumpkin juice before rubbing her eyes and yawning at the early hour.

"Not been sleeping well?" You ask with relative concern for your friend, watching her yawn for a second time within seconds. "Staying up late trying to find a loophole in quidditch rules again?" You joke with a smile, watching as she shoots you a mock glare even though it was most probably true, only to be interrupted by her third yawn.

"I wish! Still never finished reading that rule book," she snorts. "I know there's something there I've missed." She takes a sip of her pumpkin juice and you watch as she swallows down another yawn. "I was at the black lake with the twins last night, didn't get back til late."

It's amazing that you don't choke on your own pumpkin juice as the words glide out of her mouth, your stomach sinking like a stone at the implications. You knew Angelina and there was no malice nor hidden meaning behind her words but it still stings more than getting caught in the path of a Ukrainian Ironbelly. Fred had openly lied to you, had rejected you and had invited Angelina in your place. You're frozen in place by the revelation but Angelina doesn't notice, now heartily tucking into her breakfast, though you do notice hermione peeking over her book to look at you. Tears begin to prickle your eyes as the sinking feeling in your gut consumes you, your thoughts spiralling out of control. He didn't want you anymore, you'd pushed him too far to come back from, all with him in mind.

You barely noticed when Ron, Ginny and Harry appeared at the table but you noticed immediately when you heard two very familiar voices echoing as Fred and George walked into the great hall. You had to leave, you had to get out before then took their places. A part of you, wether it was self-punishment or morbid curiosity wanted to stay and see if Fred would chose to sit next to you, to see if he'd interact with you or be cold and distant but you couldn't do it, knowing that the latter would kill you. You stood up so quickly that you bumped your knee on the bottom of the table with a resounding thud that seemed to draw everyone's attention to you but you didn't stick around to shrivel under their curious gazes. There was no way you could avoid Fred now as he made his way to the table but you couldn't do anything about that. Placing your hand over your mouth, you feigned queasiness and ran out of the hall, straight past Fred and George.

Climbing up the spiralling staircase from potions, your stomach sank when you saw a familiar form resting against one of the pillars in the corridor, his shining red hair leaving no doubt as to who it was. You waited for your fellow classmates to disperse, signalling for Alicia to go ahead with the others, leaving you and Fred alone. You half hoped for the first time ever that you'd gotten the twins mixed up

And that it was actually George that was waiting for you but as you walked over with a faux smile on your face, there was no doubt in your mind that it was Fred.

"Hi," you said, sounding awkward even to your own ears. He gives you a look, apparently having noticed your unusually formal greeting too and reaches out for you as if nothing was wrong. His touch feels wrong, the lies feeling like an impenetrable barrier between you and you don't sink into his touch as you usually did, nor do you make any attempt to reach out for him in return.

"Still want to go to the black lake tonight?" He says, reaching out to play with a strand of your hair from the haphazardly thrown up ponytail. His words feel like a knife, like a taunt of what you missed out in last night. Did he know that you knew about his jaunts last night or was he planning on denying the entire thing and acting like nothing was wrong?

You couldn't bite your tongue any longer, the unyielding sleep deprivation affecting your ability to regulate your emotions and you pulled yourself back out of his reach with a venomous look in your eyes.

"Thought you'd have seen enough of it with Angelina last night,' you spit out, the quickly fading logical part of your brain hardly believing that you were having this conversation with Fred, the downfall of your relationship taking you completely by surprise as it's ungodly pace. He blanches, face flushing pale as his ears turn more and more pink upon hearing your words. His eyes widen momentarily and the sickness in your gut increases as you note how panicked he looks, your fears confirmed that he was intending on not telling you anything.

"Princess," he says, trying to bounce back from his momentary shock as he reaches out for you but you avoid his hand entirely, blocking him by slightly turning your body to the right, away from him.

"My name is y/n," you counter, uncaring for his term of endearment. His brown creases but in a flash it's gone, his gaze now focused on your ear. You watch as his eyes harden, no longer looking guilty as his eyes set into a hard stare that grazes across your face until he finally looks into your eyes, somehow in competition with you for how angry you can gaze at eachother.

"It's not my whereabouts that need questioning though is it?" He says through partially gritted teeth, unrelenting eyes staring into your soul.

"What are you talking about?" You counter, trying desperately to hold onto your anger but it's quickly draining from you under his suspicious scrutiny.

"Seems you forgot to hide that one," he spits, pointing to the mark behind your ear. Your gaze softens immediately as you realise what he's pointing to- the pink mark on your neck. In your haste to not set your hair on fire in potions, you'd quickly tied up your hair and had completely forgotten that the mark on your neck would now be visible.

"Fred," you say, the tables turning on you now as you cower under his powerful gaze.

"Thought it was odd that you kept disappearing," he says with a grumble, his voice sounding so cold and distant that you barely recognise it. "Who is he?"

"What?" You ask suddenly, quietly, completely floored by his accusation, your mouth agape as you look upon the heated gaze of your boyfriend, though you quickly realise it may be the last time you can call him that. Never had you thought that he would have accused you of cheating. Finding out your secret maybe but this? Never.

"You heard me, who is it? Bet it's Towler isn't it," he sneers, almost spitting as he says Kenneth Towler's name to taunt you. "Reckon he's long overdue for a second dose of bulbadox powder."

You're frozen in disbelief at the furthering accusations he's spouting, his mind already wandering back to Kenneth Towler who's skin had erupted into boils during your fifth year thanks to Fred putting Bulbadox powder in his pyjamas when he'd come on to you a bit too strongly during a mid-season Quidditch game. Fred had been so distracted upon seeing Towler attempt to drape his arm around you that it caused him to miss an oncoming bludger that caught the tail end of Wood's broom, throwing him off balance and equating in a deciding goal that had given Ravenclaw the lead, that then resulted in their victory over Gryffindor. Fred had been furious, not at you naturally but at Towler who he'd declared had lost them the whole game and had vowed a form of revenge by adding the bulbadox.

"It is isn't it?" He prods, taking your silence as confirmation.

"No!" You say with vengeance, wanting to shoot down that accusation straight away. "There's no one," you add. He huffs out a humourless laugh that makes your entire body fill with dread.

"Well someone's giving you those marks and it's certainly not me!" He argues, "haven't let me anywhere near you for weeks, which is funny because you're usually up for it whenever."

Your blood runs cold at his words and you resist the instinctual urge to slap him right across his stupid face. It's like the four years of your relationship have been nothing to him; pulled apart and mocked by one single comment that now made you question everything. Was that all it was to him? Were you just easy and available? You felt physically sick by the thought and you were certain that nothing had ever hurt you so deeply before. The boy you'd fallen so helplessly in love for, the one with the fire red hair and the cheeky grin that only ever seemed to have eyes for you had changed so quickly right before your eyes. The very boy that had supported all of your creative dreams, encouraging you to keep painting and keep creating even when you doubted yourself or lacked inspiration. Merlin, most of the time he was your inspiration.

You realise that there's nothing left to say, that any further attempt to defend yourself will only fall on deaf ears and by his last comment, you weren't sure it was worth trying to salvage the joke that had been your relationship. You thought of the secret you'd be hiding, of the real reason you had been sneaking away and lying to him, so far away from his assumption that it was almost laughable- but now completely void of any importance. There was no coming back from this. What you assumed to have been love for the past four years had completely disappeared from his eyes and you knew from this moment onwards that all you would ever see when he gazed upon you would be pure disdain.

It feels like every bone is breaking in your body simultaneously as you walk away, like your heart is directly under the cruciatus curse with the sheer volume of anguish within your body. You've never felt pain like it, completely unable to distinguish exactly where it hurts or why. You let vision is blurred and your body physically hurts, your ears ringing from the screams of pain that resonate around your head but are trapped inside your mind. You don't look at Fred, you can't, nor can you bear to listen for him calling out to you as you walk away, the last glimmer of hope gone. 

You consider returning to your dorm and locking yourself away for the foreseeable future, skipping all of your classes and sobbing until you can't anymore as you body screams for you to do but you can't. You can't let anyone see you like that, nor would you be able to answer anyone's questions or deal with their stares. And so, you run to the one place you knew you'd be safe.

Fang greets you enthusiastically the second you push through the door to the empty hut and collapse against the door with a roaring cry. The anguish in your cries is one that you'd never heard emitted from yourself or any other human and you no longer fight back the floods of tears that fall down your face like an unstoppable river that had broken the dam. Fang, sensing your distress, walks over to you and calmly sits beside you, placing his huge head in your lap as you cry. You hold on to the lovable boarhound like an oversized teddy bear as the tears flow, uncaring about the inevitable puddle of drool that he'll leave in your lap, the comfort of the sweet dog more needed than ever.

You don't know how long you sit there crying with your pal by your side for every moment but eventually the tears begin to slow, your breath finally evening out though your heart still pounds, much like your head. Fang lifts his head slightly, his big eyes peering into yours and you give him a thankful smile through the tears, even if he doesn't know exactly what you're trying to convey. He gives your arm a little nudge and in your near delusional state, you assume that it's a reply to your thankfulness. You chuckle, giving him a good scratch of appreciation on his wrinkled forehead at the absurdity of the situation, but you'd be forever thankful that of all things, Fang was the only one that had held you together in your darkest moment.

[daiskiii]

authors note: i FINALLY finished this fic omg took me so long cus i had absolutely no motivation but finally, its here 🙏🏻 

Carl grimes x fem reader

Loss of virginity, p in v, friends to lovers, rushed, lmk if i missed anything ! 

It’s been years, years since you had met an actual decent person.

After everything went down at the prison you had no choice but to survive out in the wilderness.

You’d gone through so much you weren’t sure how much more of it you could take.

You’d set up camp in a forest near an old convenience store packed with walkers, the plan was to wait until morning, clear out the store and start scavenging for food, supplies etc.

You always had issues with sleeping but having to sleep in a forest with walkers nearby wasn’t easier to say the least.

It was almost 5am when you heard some walking nearby, almost as if it was walking directly towards you.

You whipped out your knife and sat, waiting and unsure if you should go and attack or let whoever or whatever is walking near you pass.

You could feel your heartbeat in your throat when you heard the footsteps coming closer and closer towards you, but there was no growling.

Which was a bad sign of course cause this means there was a human walking towards you in the middle of the woods at night, nowadays meeting anyone usually ends bad.

It was summer so it was still kinda light out so you slowly peak out of a hole in your camp only to hear the footsteps abruptly stop.

You could see clear as day someone standing right in front of you, looking at acting curiously as they checked out your camp.

You had to make a decision fast, so in a split second you were out of your camp with your knife facing outward, the person in front of you immediately taking his hands up in defeat trying to calm you down.

“who are you? what are you doing here” you ask nervously.

“Whoa, woah, woah, calm down! i’m not gonna hurt you, i promise.” he replied, he didn’t sound too old, as if he could be around your age.

“That doesn’t answer my question.” you reply, trying to figure out what he looked like as it was only a bit dark.

“My names Carl, i come from a community called Alexandria. I usually go out here at night for some alone time and peace and stumbled upon your camp.” he said, a little bit of fear in his voice.

You lowered your weapon slowly and he put his hands down.

“Carl? your name is Carl?” you ask, could it be your Carl?

“Yeah” he said.

“what about you? whats your name?” he asked.

“Y/N.”

he looked at you surprised for a moment before stepping closer for a better look.

“Y/N? as in Y/N L/N?” he asked.

Holy shit.

“How do you-“

before you could even finish your sentence Carl jumped on you, wrapping you in a tight hug.

“It took you a moment to realise what was going on but when you did you hugged him back.

“I missed you so much” you said between sobs, holding onto him for dear life.

“I missed you too” he replied.

You held his hands as you looked at him, studying his features making sure that it is, in fact Carl Grimes.

He put his hand on your chin, moving your head a bit so it was easier to study your face.

“even with all this dirt on your face you still look like yourself” he said

“is that a compliment or an insult?” you ask, laughing mid sentence.

“Compliment” he replied, laughing with you.

“I should probably get back to Alexandria soon, you coming?” he asked.

“If i can, yeah I’m coming!” you said with a big smile on your face.

“Hey, how was the run?” you asked Carl, it has been a week since you joined Alexandria and you were happier then ever, everyone was so nice and you could have actual food for once.

“Good, how was Judith?” he replied

“She’s good, i put her to sleep not so long ago”

he replied with a hm in acknowledgment and walked towards the stairs.

“lets go to sleep, its getting late” he said.

You got off the couch and walked behind him as you both walked towards your shared room.   

It’s around 3 AM, you couldn’t sleep.

The sound of rain falling on the window, the thunder, all of it was making it harder to sleep.

You looked over across the bedroom to where Carl was sleeping, it was hard to see but you could make out his figure standing up and walking towards you.

“Carl?” you said quietly, sitting up on your bed.

“Can’t sleep” he said as he sat down next to you.

“me neither” you replied lazily, staring out the window at the rain.

“so, hows things with Enid?” you knew he and Enid were close, not dating, but close.

He seemed to get a bit annoyed at your question, not at you, but rather the subject.

“i don’t know… shes just- i feel like i’ve started to dislike her way more lately…” he replied, catching you off guard.

“really? i thought you guys were about to start dating” you said, tearing your eyes off the window and looking at the boy sitting next to you, who was already staring at you.

He laughed a bit at your comment. “no way, i don’t have my eyes on her..” he said, breaking eye contact.

You thought of what to say for a second before speaking up softly, almost in a whisper.

“So? who do you have your eyes for?”

He looked up at you through tired half lidded eyes before whispering softly to you. “if i told you, you promise not to make fun of me?”

you were quiet for a second before answering.

“well, now i have to know who it is” you say eagerly.

He smiled and turned serious for a second.

“Its uh- its you..” his answer lingered in the air for a moment, both of you staring at each other.

You were surprised, Carl liked you? of course you liked him back but you never expected him to be the one to confess to you.

“Carl i- i like you too” you replied softly.

You stared at each other for a second before leaning in, lips meeting.

You climbed on his lap as his hands laid on your hips and waist.

He moaned into the kiss as you softly pulled his long brown hair.

“ffffuckk..” he moaned out as you started grinding on his crotch.

He leaned back a bit, still sitting but leaning against your pillow as you  continued to grind on him while making out.

You pulled away from the kiss and started at him for a moment.

“i-i’ve never..”

he smiled softly

“shhh… me neither, we’ll figure it out, okay? as long as you’re comfortable”

your heart fluttered at his words as he helped you remove your shirt and pants.

“god you’re hot..” he said softly, staring at you in your underwear.

You felt embarrassed, not in a bad way, not at all, you felt safe around Carl and knew he would take care of you, but this was the first time he had seen you almost naked.

You heard his pants zipper open and saw him pull out his cock and gosh, it was big.

How could that fit inside of you?

Carl looked up at you as you leaned down to kiss him, your hand reaching for his cock, stroking him softly.

He whimpered into your kiss, clearly enjoying it before you broke the kiss and pulled your underwear to the side.

“you ready?” you asked him, he was quick to shake his head yes, clearly eager to feel you wrapped around his cock.

You lined his cock up with your entrance, slowly pushing him in. “nnggh- ah! fuck..” you whimpered softly as you went down on his cock, his whimpers and moans like music to your ears something you never wanted to stop.

It hurt a bit at first, but after letting you adjust to his cock he grabbed yours hips and helped you ride him, you both moaning from pleasure as the pace picked up.

He pulled out and grabbed you, laying you down on your back as he kissed your neck before going back in, moaning before getting a steady pace again, grabbing your waist and slamming you against him to match his pace.

You wrapped your legs around his waist to keep him closer as you moaned into your hand to keep you from waking the others up.

“fuck- i- i love you” he whimpered out as you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissing him lovingly while he fucked into you, you both moaning, your mouths in the shape of an “o”

“i-i love you too- ah~” you replied as he sucked and nibbled on your neck and chest.

“f-fuck- i think i’m gonna-“ you moaned out as you came on his cock.

His pace fastened as his thrusts became more sloppy as he nuzzled his head beside yours.

“i-im gonna cum~” he moaned out.

“cum in me~ ‘m on the pill-“ you replied softly, out of breath.

Not so long after he came inside you with the last thrust, moaning into the pillow as he kept himself deep inside of you.

You laid there for a bit, breathing heavy while comforted in each other’s embrace.

“That was.. so good” you laughed out as he pulled out and looked at you before kissing your cheek.

“you better get used to it” he said as he stood up, grabbing a towel from the bathroom and cleaning you with it.

“i love you” you said softly as he looked up at you.

“i love you too” he said.

“i always have” 

[robin374]

Hey

Could you do mercs finding a siren reader

MERCS WITH SIREN S/O

Notes: Romantic relationship.

Characters: Demo, Sniper, Soldier.

Demo:

OMG A SIREN-

I have this feeling that he believes in any sea legend that exists. Moby Dick, Sirens, Selkies, the Nessie (I know it's a lake)... Man is obsessed with you.

Everyday, he will got to the spot he first found you and wait for you to appear. When you do, his face lightens up so much. It's like he's in love (he is, he just wont realise it until some time after)

It's a bit strange to him to fall in love with a mythical creature. However, he just admits it and kisses you under the water. He could feel your tail around his legs, and your lips smiling.

The water didn't take away his breath, you did.

Sniper:

He found you at Medic's lab, you weren't one of his experiments. You were going to be one of course, but he had you there so he could analise your anatomy first. Then your insides.

Sniper thought you were the prettiest creature he had seen in his life, nad he had seen a lot. That's why he helped you get out of Medic's lab.

He built trust in you, you two didn't talk a lot. Just signs and faces, small notes, gestures... He got attached to you pretty fast, you were the only one that undertood him and actually listened to him, but it was too suspicious if he went too much to Medic's lab just to see you.

One night, everyone was sleeping execpt him. He was talking with you, he then started to think about you, and the fact that he was in love with you. He put his hand on the aquarium glass, you answered by putting yours just at the same spot as him. A smile on both of your faces, he blushed. Was that a sign that you loved him too?

"The Shape of Water" plot, real no fake.

Soldier:

He found you on one of his morning trainings. He was alone, as always. Nobody wanted to run with him at 5AM, so he went alone. He would show those maggots how a good training was done!

But then his eyes landed on you. Your tail was tied to a plastic web, you couldn't move to cut it. It wasn't the weirdest thing he saw, a siren wasn't nothing compared to a giant eye that belonged to his friend. Or an eye that travelled back in time to become his and his friends' parents... Man, that eye is really something else.

Anyways, he approached you. Slowly. He didn't want to scare you. Just like an animal, he got walked towards you, his hands in front of him, asurring you that he didn't want to hurt you. Once he was close enough to your tail, he cut the plastic, lifted you up and carried you to the water.

Before letting you free under the water, he gave you a whistle. He yold you that if you ever were on danger again, to blow the whistle and he would appear seconds after to save you from anything.

You didn't know that it was true. The next day, you were chilling at a rock near the shore and blew the whistle, you were curious. Then, you heard a scream similar to an eagle an a man falling from the sky with a shovel on his hand.

He fell belly flop to the water. It didn't make a nice sound, but he appeared on the surfeace with a red face and swimmed like a puppy towards your rock.

"Give me a kiss to cure this insufferable pain now!"

[actualbird]

hi zak!!! deliriously asking this at 5am, but don't you ever think about every time marius (and i guess that whole von hagen family in that sense) celebrates his own birthday is he reminded about his mother's death? like... the way you share birthday with your mother's death anniversary.... haha how does that go............

first of all, I HOPE U WENT TO SLEEP AFTER SENDING THIS MESSAGE!!!

second of all, AUUUUUUUUGGGGHH //wailing in agony

i have thought about it in passing and it hurts my heart....frankly i think marius, once hes old enough to understand what happened (and also old enough to be blamed for what happened) (which...wasnt very old at all, he was still a child) takes it hardest. of course, giann and austin grieve, but i like to think that because theyre older (and thus more mature and capable of compartmentalizing) that their grief for carenina is separate from their joy of having marius in their lives. it wasnt a "deal" or a "trade" in their minds and in their hearts.

for marius though, it is. he sees the beginning of his very existence inherently tied to the death of his mother. he sees his existence as a sick "trade" by the universe; lose someone you love and gain a child thats a burden and a reminder of who you lost. hes much harder on himself, and i think thats partly because he never got to meet his mother, so he didnt get to experience how excited she was for his birth, he didnt get to experience first hand how much he was loved by her even before he was born. giann and austin got to experience this, and, even with all the bumps in the road, they continue this love for marius. in a way, it's a form of remembrance too. but marius had it different. what he knew was once upon a time there was a perfect family, and then he came along, and grief loomed over them like a shadow theyll never be rid of. marius feels like he was a thief. marius feels like he stole life of his mother.

semi-related: i actually have an hc that marius' mother did not die during childbirth (and thus not on marius' birthday), because canon never confirmed that it was during. instead, canon just said that the strain of giving birth was too much for her deteriorating health, so it's not without the realm of possibility that carenina lived for a few months after childbirth before passing away.

why i have this hc is because:

1 ) i hc she was the one who gave the nickname "king". she'd whisper it to him delightedly, boop his little nose and tease him for being a pampered little baby, calling him "my little king" as she cared for him in her last days.

2 ) i just want carenina to have met marius, even if marius cant ever remember it. i just think it would be nice, and that it would be fitting. one of the last moments she had was cradling her beloved son in her arms, and she was at peace when she went

she was full of love and had no regrets. to her, this wasnt a "trade" either. this was her choice, and she was glad to have made that choice.

but of course, marius cant remember the experience, and he thinks otherwise. to him, being born was his first sin among many.

[foone]

Robots in temporary bodies. You agree.

Their gorgeous humanoid chasis, packed full of the latest noctua servos and the Samsung sensor package, is sitting on a bench somewhere at the repair shop. The whole damn main bus got completely fried by that EMP they got off the exploding transformer (not the Optimus Prime kind), so it's going to be at least a week before it can get rebuilt.

So now they're in the body of some toy you had gotten for your birthday a couple years ago. They barely come up to your knees and their hands don't have thumbs. They keep complaining that they only have visual and audio sensors, so they feel half-blind (once you have radar you never get over losing it) and they're constantly worried about crushing anything they pick up. You get a phone call at 2am and have to go rescue them from the bathroom. They accidentally closed the door behind them and that's the one door in the apartment you haven't replaced, so it's big and heavy and made of thick wood. Their little hands couldn't reach the doorknob.

You ask why they were in the bathroom with a smile, and they explain they needed to clean off their treads because they spilled coffee creamer on the floor. These damn hands can't grab anything.

Their job offers them a loaner body but they decide to stay on medical leave for now. Body swaps are a big hassle and no fun to go through, so they don't want to do any more than absolutely necessary. Besides, they'd just barely be getting up to speed in the loaner body by the time they were ready to switch back out. Plus they know all the loaners are those budget model combat drones. They don't want to wear a body like that. I'm sure someone wants to look like "draw Arnold Schwarzenegger from memory", but it's sure as fuck not them.

They'd tried on one of those early in their career, and it's not just the dysphoria of looking so completely different from your mental image of yourself, it's also the change in how people treat you. Yeah, if you're a cop, maybe having people flinch when you walk in the room is a good thing, and maybe it's good that most people instinctively don't want to even try attack you. But they're not a cop, and even if they were, they couldn't handle looking like that during downtime. Maybe some people like making everyone in their life scared of them. Everyone from their partner to the guy handing them their coffee... But people who like that aren't the kind of people you want to be or hang out with.

Besides, metal and motors and servos has a distinct strength advantage over muscles anyway. If you want to be able to lift a car over your head with ease, you don't need to look like a bodybuilder to do it. So it's even more obvious that the only reason you would look like that is because you either really like that aesthetic, or you want to intimidate people. And you know they are in neither camp.

They ask to cuddle one night. They don't need to sleep and they don't have the sensors to enjoy it in this body, but they want it anyway. It's not about the sensor experience anyway, it's about the intimacy and the closeness. You put up with getting poked in the chest by their square edges, and if they their current form could cry, they'd be at serious risk of rusting.

You get it. You fortunately don't have to worry about how it'd feel to spend a week without your body, but you can't imagine it'd be fun.

A few days later, you wake up to the smell of maple syrup. You start to get out of bed when they burst in the room, wearing only a cute "fdisk the cook" apron. They've got pancakes and waffles and coffee for you! Breakfast in bed, to celebrate getting their body back.

While you're sitting in bed with them finishing up your breakfast, you ask what happened to the plan for you to drive them to the repair place, since their previous body couldn't exactly work the controls of your old car, even with the wireless link? They took a cab, they say. Their body's repairs finished up at 5am and they didn't want to wait around until you got up, they were just too excited.

You ask about their previous body, the temp one? Oh, there was a minor accident. See, they were still getting used to having all their main body's senses and strength back, so it accidentally fell of the trunk. At 15,000 feet. While doing Mach 1.3 over Arizona Bay.

They promise to buy you a new robot toy. Maybe one a little... More adult? It'd be just as annoying to be stuck inside when their main body is out for repairs, but at least they could have SOME fun with you while on medical leave. You're firm on the "no creepy sex dolls" front, though. FINE! but they want at least opposable thumbs for the next temp body. You make the obvious crude joke at why they need hands that can grip, and their cheeks go gallium-arsenide-red with embarrassment. You ask if they're having cooling problems again, their face feels warm. They push you over onto the bed, laughing and telling you not to tease them.

The maple syrup goes everywhere. Somewhere downstairs your laundrybot wakes up in annoyance, already annoyed at all the extra work they're going to have to do.

[soobadnoonecanstopher]

Can I Stay? (A Baekhyun Story) Part 6.

Pairing: You x Baekhyun

Rating: M (Mature Content)

Word Count: 5.3K

Warnings: Smut. Graphic descriptions of unprotected sex between two consenting adults with an unspecified age difference between them, an English story that uses the word Noona for lack of another word in English that carries the same feeling, if you don’t like this, then don’t read this story.

Author‘s note: remember all those years ago I said I’d write a Baekhyun x Noona fic? This is that fic. & a special thank you to my lovely readers for sending me ideas for this story. I have used a few brilliant ideas in this chapter.

Inspired by the Ray LaMontagne song Can I Stay

Links: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Tag List: @andimoon @his-mochi-cheeks

You awoke in his arms with your legs in a tangle within his; with the cadence of his steady breathing and the hum of gentle rain drops hitting against your windows.

It was not yet 5am. You hadn’t even had close to enough sleep but the warmth of his body against yours had pulled your consciousness back up from whatever dream you had been having. Whether it was simply the fact that you had another human being in your bed with you, a reality that hadn’t happened in years, or if it had simply returned once again to you; that longing for him, you weren’t sure what actually had awoken you.

Some things; some brand new, delicate things like this man’s existence in this bed with you were much more compelling than sleep.

How could you dare sleep through the first breaths of this brand new life? What a shame that would be.

His skin coated your bare back and you felt gratitude for the rain that had fallen all night. The crisp air felt cool enough that no amount of his heat against you was too much. You shifted your position slightly, and you listened for any change in his breathing. It only took a heartbeat but you heard a change. It was minuscule. The smallest moan.

He was still under.

Last night’s whispered words to you were lightly brushed fingertips over this 5am flushed skin. They tickled gently as they blew in the wind and you arched your back in response. The puzzle pieces that were your bodies fit together, you the smaller piece to him and with the movement you made within his arms you could feel as you turned further, pushed closer to him, another sound emerged from him; paired with some movement of sleepy arms and still dazed hands.

“Mmm—“ the sleepy moan was followed by a sharp inhale. You felt his arms constrict around you for a moment before they relaxed again.

You could let him sleep. But what a shame it would be. You could also feel the drowsiness deep in your chest begging you to let it go, just for a few more hours of sleep but that longing persisted. It persisted in your ears where those whispered words shared between you both still echoed.

‘Is this love?’

‘Do you love me like I love you?’

‘Yes. it must be. I do, love you.’

The longing persisted and it echoed again and again between your thighs building into desire, despite the thick sleep that pulled at you again.

You pushed into him again, wiggling your hips backward until you felt the heat of his hips push back against you.

Another moan with more substance this time. It hasn’t been that difficult to coax a sound like that out of him. Of course, he was a young and healthy man.

“Mmmm…What time is it?” The first real words you pulled from him were slurred and mumbled on his sleep coated tongue.

“Early,” you whispered and you moved your hips again. He was awake now it seemed. A heavy hand landed on your hip and he hissed out a breath, pressing the growing pressure against you.

“Sorry for waking you up.” The white lie felt obligatory and you heard a half humored hum from him as his arms wrapped around your waist now and he tightened his hold on you; one hand tightened around your breast, the other digging fingers into your hip bone. The heat under this blanket was beginning to grow stuffy.

“You don’t seem sorry,” Baekhyun’s brazen response accused you. You didn’t do very well at holding in the giggle from your lips and letting it slip only made you seem even guiltier.

“I was just trying to get comfortable.” Your denial was a playful attempt and was immediately followed by a surprised gasp from your parted lips when you felt his lips land on the bare skin of your neck. You felt his smile there and felt the hard wetness of his teeth as he bared them over your skin and bit down. That one bite took your excuses and your games right out of your mouth and they vanished as goosebumps spread over your skin. You breathed out loud through it. Through the slight pain.

This Baekhyun — this aroused from a deep sleep, Baekhyun felt quite different from that gentle man that made love to you for the first time mere hours ago. His moans into your ear were lower and seemed to come from deep down in his belly as he did it. This sleepy Baekhyun had just bitten your neck. You felt the hard suction of his mouth and the wetness of his tongue in that spot you were sure it would leave a mark that would take days to fade. He carelessly left behind a wet spot that tingled and ached as it cooled in the air.

“And are you comfortable now?” You were out of words. More than any sort of shock, the arousal that surged through your body was what took your words from you. You were also certain that he wasn’t looking for an answer to this question.

His hand, the one that had been digging into your hip and pulling your ass into him suddenly let go and he reached up over your shoulder seeking out your outstretched arm. He followed your arm until the very end and wrapped his slim fingers around your palm and he pulled your hand, gripping you tightly as he brought your hand down behind your own back until you felt the stiffness of him under your fingertips. You had already known what you had done to him with all of the ass wiggling earlier. But this was an undeniable presentation of evidence he had just set into the palm of your hand.

You ran your fingertips down the length of him and when you wrapped your hand around the stiffness another low sound came from the back of his throat. But your hand was too dry for this. You didn’t have one yourself so you couldn’t be sure, but you idly wondered if something dry and cool like this could even feel good to him.

The temperature difference was too shocking. Your hands had been out in the cool night air of your bedroom and definitely hadn’t been snuggled up between both of your warm bodies like this.

“My hand is too cold, Baek,” you whispered what he very likely could feel for himself.

“Then put me somewhere warm.” He’d said it in his sleepy voice, that thicker and lower octave that only came from this very early morning Baekhyun.

This Baekhyun made you give in to your desires so easily.

You spun then, and pushed up onto tired hands and knees and you lifted your sleepy body to straddle his waist. The blankets were getting too hot anyway, when they slid off your back you let them and you longed to be able to see his face in the darkness of this room.

A quick lean to the nightstand by his head and a switch was flipped and you both gasped and closed your eyes as the dim lamp came to light. You pushed through the shock because you had a goal here.

“Sorry baby, I want to see your pretty face,” you said to him.

Baekhyun’s severe squinting quickly turned into a look of pained pleasure as you lifted your hips and sunk down fully on him. He gasped out loud and his lips hung open and his head was thrown back and the look on his face was enough to get you through any lonely night. This expression here as you sank down with him inside of you, filling you up completely in a single motion — with his flushed pink cheeks and parted pink lips still swollen from sleep and from your many kisses. The tip of his tongue darted forward out of his mouth and he moistened his upper lip and his eyes were shut so tightly from too many overwhelming things at once.

You rose again, carefully lifting yourself with your hands pressing against his abdomen and when you sunk back down you looked into his face finding that his eyes had half opened and he was looking at you now. He bit down on his bottom lip and tried his best to keep his eyes open through your movements. You could see the struggle in him to both see everything you were doing and while also feeling everything were doing. You gave into the feelings much easier, only stealing the occasional glance down at his face. Only forcing your eyes back open when he made a particularly enticing sound. This felt too good for you though. You had to repeat these movements with your eyes closed because something was changing now.

“Oh fuck, I’m in trouble. You feel too good, Noona,” he said as his hands found your hips and he gripped tightly into the softness of your flesh. His whiny little complaint made you smile and only fueled you. Seeing his face like this made the sex feel even better. Hearing his reactions to you built you up. You felt unrestricted with him. You felt encouraged and enjoyed and savored. This man was like no one you had ever known before. “Fuck, you look so sexy riding my dick like this.”

When you arched your back and leaned back on him, feeling the way he bumped against you inside as you moved brought you even closer to that building feeling and his hands were moving up on you now, reaching for your breasts as he gripped and squeezed before letting go and pulling his own two arms up above his head and interlocking his hands together, as if he was trying to keep himself under control, his eyes were open and he was watching you. Every other movement had his face twisting and his head rolling. His chest heaved up and down as he tried to control his breathing and he failed at it.

“How can you be this beautiful?” You heard him say. “You are so dangerous, Noona. My god, I am in huge fucking trouble. Can I just live here…inside of you…like this…forever?”

He was gasping in between words. But good lord was he noisy. You knew you’d never get away with doing any of this in any place where you both weren’t completely and entirely alone. Just the sounds were too much. The compliments though seemed to have a very deep and curiously strong effect on you.

“Obsessed. I’m obsessed.” But did he really have to say so many words right now? Following them all was impossible. “Keep going, fuck..fuck.. I can’t—”

You couldn't focus on his words but they suddenly came to a stuttering halt when you tightened around him and an overwhelming wave took your breath away. He must have felt it when you did. His face was screwed up tightly and his hands were tightly fisted balls above his head. His heavy breathing and his words had stopped too and his mouth hung open in silence. This feeling had been wound too tight in you and you felt the waves crest as you closed your eyes and you felt the trembling in your thighs as you gasped and gripped him tightly around his waist to keep yourself upright as you were overcome by it.

You were dizzy. You were off balance and tired and his arms wrapped tightly around you as he sat up and rolled you around onto your back, not leaving from inside of you as he did it. You were suddenly quite aware of the mess you felt between your bodies. The wetness threatened.

“Do you realize what you’ve just done? I am obsessed. I need you to wake me up like that every day. I need to live in between your thighs.” His lips were on your skin pressing wet kisses all over your neck and chest. Your mind slowly came back as you smiled and lifted a hand to run your fingers through his hair, pushing it back off his forehead where it fell forward and tickled against your skin as he kissed you.

“I hope you can handle having a boyfriend who’s completely fucking obsessed with you because you’ve just made it a thousand times worse.”

Boyfriend?

It wasn’t that you didn’t expect this. But him saying that word so casually had your stomach doing flips. His kisses had worked their way down to the mound of your breast and his breath puffed out over your nipple before his lips parted and he pulled lightly, giving you tiny kisses and nibbles all over.

“Wait, do I have a boyfriend?” Your question was sleepy sounding and yet so hopeful too. Once you’d asked you pulled your bottom lip in between your teeth and held it there. The irony of this was not lost on you. Here you’d just had very, very good sex with the man but suddenly there were some silly bubbly butterflies floating around inside of your stomach after hearing him use that word. You could feel the urge to squeal and hop around at the very thought of it.

He lifted his eyes for a moment and they touched yours.

“Yes, my love. You just woke your boyfriend up to fuck him —” you gasped out loud after another unexpected movement as he tightened his hold around you and rolled onto his back again. You found yourself back on top of him, with him still very much inside of you closer to the edge of the bed. “and now your boyfriend is trying not to make a big mess on the bed because he doesn’t want to sleep in a wet spot.”

Oh is that what the rolling was for? You felt giggles threaten to escape with all of the silly movement and the elation from this new found named revaluation. Unfortunately giggles were the last thing that should happen right now. Just two tiny half chuckles left your chest and you felt their effects immediately- the mess threatened. Your laughter pushed against him. You’d nearly made it off the bed. You were close to it.

“No, no, don’t laugh. Nothing is funny. Nothing is funny.” Baekhyun hissed in a panic when he felt your laughter all around an extremely sensitive and spent part of his body. But he was moving faster now and you found yourself plopped onto both of your legs, finally free of the fluffy bedding and a very much still clean mattress and dry bed sheets.

“I almost threw you off the bed,” he laughed and you felt more giggles breaking free. A crisis was averted and you were dragged by a naked and giggling Baekhyun to the bathroom for a shower.

Neither of you had anywhere to be until well after lunch time so after the shower he led you back to the bed for some more sleep. But the sleep was evasive and fitful for you. Your mind and heart were too restless to give into it and after a while you gave up instead opting for a peaceful cup of coffee in front of your work laptop catching up on never ending emails and completing small tasks that could be handled remotely.

Before the coffee you’d managed to quietly gather all of Baekhyun’s clothing; the suit and all that had been sullied by the rainstorm last night and you dropped it off for expedited service at the dry cleaners downstairs. For a small sum they promised it would be ready in just two hours. You’d grabbed a new toothbrush and left it with the plain white t-shirt and gray sweatpants neatly folded on the corner of the bed. They didn’t need cleaning. He didn’t even sleep in them.

It all felt so strange. Having this person — your person asleep in your home in the quiet early hours of the day like this. You couldn’t help the occasional glances you’d take at him. You found your legs pushing you up and carrying you across your apartment to peek through your open bedroom door just to see the peaceful expression on his face. It was almost as if you’d expected him to be gone the next time you checked. But he was there every time, just as peaceful and just as beautiful.

Eventually Baekhyun woke up, peeked his head around the corner of your bedroom doorway with a blindingly bright smile on his face. “Noona, I’m so hungry. I only just now remembered the ramen we didn’t get to eat last night.”

You had been up and out and about already and his grin was wide and appreciative to find out that not only had you picked up his suit from the cleaners but also some breakfast egg sandwiches from the shop on the corner, all while he slept blissfully and peacefully unaware.

How could you stand it? Your eyes drifted over his face and your thoughts strayed to the inevitable truth that was soon to come. You’d have to have a difficult conversation with him about how despite how much you loved him and how much he loved you, no one at your work could ever possibly know about it. Not while he was still working under you as your assistant at least. That was simply the kind of career killing scandal that you could not take. You’d never emotionally or professionally recover from something that devastating. In this scenario you had so very much to lose.

“Baekhyun,” you began carefully as you both tidied after the meal. He had been drying a coffee mug with a tea towel but your quiet use of his name pulled his eyes into yours.

“About us.. and work,” you bit down on the corner of your lip and looked down at the plate that you rinsed in hot running water.

“Oh I know,” he said after a while. “We can’t let anyone at work know about us. I know that already. I know the risk that holds for you.” He inhaled a slow and steady breath as he spoke. You didn't detect any hidden objections in his words, he seemed to be genuinely understanding.

”Me, I don’t think much can happen to me, but I get it. I know that you would be the one hurt.”

You pulled your lips into a small somewhat anxious pout and handed the plate to him to dry.

“There’s nothing wrong with this; with us being in love.” You said softly. Saying it more for your own heart than for his benefit and you patted lightly against the ache in your chest with the palm of your damp hand.

“Right.” He agreed quietly. “I know.”

“Work is work and everything else, well…” your words trailed. You swallowed down the moisture in your mouth, feeling the heavy weight of this burden. Of being born fortunate enough to experience such a profound feeling for this man and being unable to share it freely.

Baekhyun had finished drying the dishes and had hung the towel to dry over the sink faucet and he had left you to your thoughts for a while. He was snooping around your house. The idea of this might have made you uncomfortable last night when he had first arrived here but now after everything that had changed you didn’t mind it so much.

He was looking at a shelf where you kept some picture frames. Some important or significant moments in your life. Things that you’d been proud of, mostly work events and projects you’d been on.

He seemed to be looking quite closely at one picture in particular, having picked it up he was holding it up to his face.

“Noona,” he called and you paused your journey through the living room when he spoke. You had been headed to your bedroom to get dressed for work. “Look. This is the first time I met you.”

What could he mean by that? The first time you met Baekhyun was when he began working as your assistant. As you drew closer to where he stood you recognized the picture he held as being from a group photo from a work event last year and you paused with a tick of your head to the side as a realization dawned. With Baekhyun’s family connections to the company it was entirely possible that he was an ever present and heavily involved individual for much longer than you realized. His resume did mention several internships, but you failed to make the connection to any projects you had worked on at the time.

“Look,” he was touching a slim index finger to a familiar smiling face in the back row of the group. He had black hair in this picture, but it was definitely Baekhyun. You grabbed the picture and gasped out loud. Here he was in your picture with that blindingly beautiful smile and all. He looked incredible with black hair too. How in the world did you not remember him?

“We met each other then? Baekhyun, I’m sorry, I don't remember—”

“Oh, I know you don’t remember me,” He interrupted, “I was too shy to come up to you and you were too busy to pay attention to some new kid. You were like superwoman on that team. You were so cool and so pretty. I don’t think you looked at me once.” Baekhyun was laughing to himself.

“Look at you,” you whispered and you mirrored the smile on his face in this picture. “You’ve been here in my house this whole time. The black hair looks good on you too, although you’re so handsome that’s not surprising.”

“I was so nervous on my first day when I saw your name,” he said quietly as you ran a fingertip over his smiling face in the picture. “Seriously I thought I was going to vomit.”

You looked into his smiling face, with your eyes widening in genuine surprise. It wasn’t often that you heard these kinds of words about yourself.

“I think I realized it then, on my first day — that it wasn’t just a professional interest that I had in you. Even your name gave me butterflies. Your voice saying my name made my hands shake.”

This candor from him was sending your heart into a race. Your eyes absentmindedly glanced at the clock and you recognized a bit of a time crunch now. You both simply did not have time to get back into that bed with each other and spend the rest of the day giving in to the magnetic attraction. It took an extra breath of air pulled deep into your lungs and you dropped your gaze from his eyes that were becoming just a little bit burdening and you let out a quiet “Oh—” as your only response to his breathtaking confession.

“We need to be at work soon,” you said as calmly as you could muster and Baekhyun’s serious expression broke with the smallest smile. Your mind was drawn back to that first day in the office with him. You tried to remember him acting nervous, but try as you might you couldn't consolidate the two memories.

“You didn’t seem nervous at all,” you said suddenly, interrupting your own progress. “You very confidently handed me your tablet with your resume just smack in the middle of your own very personal photos in that gallery.”

After you’d said it you realized you had just incriminated yourself and Baekhyun’s smile grew wider as he looked at you and he tilted his head to the side.

“Noona,” he said without even trying to hide his smile.

“We have to get ready for work.” You put the group photo back in its place on your shelf, spun on your spot and took several steps away from this man. You had to get ready for work.

“Noona, did you see my pictures? Did you see me naked? Did you like it?” He was following closely behind you, outright laughing now, in full teasing mode.

“You were not naked. You had swim trunks on.” This had him laughing even harder and you could not even stop your own smile from spreading across your face. He had grabbed ahold of you now, keeping you from leaving.

“But did you like it?” He had your arms held by your forearms and he was wiggling you back and forth. His giggles were contagious and you were in serious danger of this conversation delaying your entire work day if you weren't careful.

“Get ready for work and maybe I’ll tell you.” More than a negotiation with him, you really felt like you were also trying your best to talk some reason into your own mind. You were so close to wrapping this project and just a few more days were left before you could finally have some actual space and time to relax. The last thing you needed was a major incident to derail everything.

Despite his playful games, Baekhyun had an incredible work ethic and he was dressed in his suit and tie and fully ready to leave in under 15 minutes. You harnessed the strength of gravity itself to keep your eyes from lingering too long on him as he buttoned up the crisp white dress shirt, lifted his collar and tied his necktie. You noticed his eyes watched you just a bit more liberally as you pulled up your favorite pencil skirt and buttoned the top closed over the lacy push up bra that you were certain complimented your figure best.

Today would certainly be an exercise in strict self control.

You had both been quiet during this, perhaps neither of you trusted yourselves with words right now. On the way out the door you reached for your usual perfume and sprayed once on your wrist, dabbing the wetness on both sides of your neck and you reached for his outstretched hand and walked out of your front door. You made it only two steps before he threw his head back dramatically with a noisy hoot from his lips said, “Goddamn! My girlfriend is so hot!”

You didn’t resist at all as he pulled you in the direction of the secure parking lot, and as you walked through the lot of cars you could hear the deep base of a powerful engine running just ahead of you both. His hand was in his pocket and you imagine that he must have pressed something in there that made the engine start long before you both even got there because that noise was definitely coming from his car. As he approached the car seemed to know him. You heard a soft beep from the car the moment his hand touched the handle and he pulled the passenger door open for you.

When you sat down inside you felt for the first time really, the magnitude of this man. This was hands down the nicest car you had ever been inside. It was easily the nicest car you have ever even seen in person and now you were sitting inside as he climbed into the driver’s seat and fastened the brightly colored seat belt.

You rested your head against the headrest and you watched him as he drove. The car responded with an intimidating roar with nearly every acceleration and you knew that it was probably capable of some incredible speed if someone were so inclined. He drove it very well. You felt secure here with him at the wheel as he easily weaved in and out of the other cars on the road. Morning traffic had never looked so good. His gaze occasionally touched on your eyes as you simply watched him drive and you felt the small smile on your lips. He was drawn to you watching him and he bounced a single eyebrow over his eye with a grin on his lips, his curiosity building in his face the longer you looked at him.

Traffic had gotten thicker by now and the engine grumbled its smooth idle below you as he waited for the light to change, his eyes slipping over to yours and you let out the longest sigh that had his smile widening just a little.

“What?” He finally asked out loud.

“Goddamn,” you exhaled into the sigh, drawing out the exhale to completely empty out your lungs before inhaling again to speak just under your breath, “my boyfriend is so hot.”

His outburst of laughter was better than any music you had heard before.

He let you out in front of the building, not so close that you risked being sighted by a curious coworker. Down a bit and across the street; near where the bus stop usually left you off. As you climbed out of his car your homeless man on the corner across the street shouted his usual ‘nice ass’ and you nodded and waved a friendly hello to him, feeling absolutely buzzed from the day you have had so far.

Inside of the office building was bubbling with life. You stopped for your usual coffee on the ground floor and you didn’t even look twice at the barista who filled your order. Inside the company suites, various teams were hard at work, already well into their afternoon workday and you made your way down the long corridor that led to the elevator that would take you up to your floor and you stepped inside, joining a few others from your team. You gave a friendly silent greeting. Everyone had been moving at such a breakneck speed for such a long while that the ending of this project couldn't come soon enough. Even now you could feel it from the team. You were in the home stretch of it now.

The elevator was filling up with faces and one more person joined, stepping inside right before the doors closed up and you found his eyes that found yours in an instant. His styled blonde hair on top of his head paired with his good looks made him stand out in any room. Even with black hair though, he shone brightly like a diamond to anyone who had their head out of the sand long enough to be able to look at him.

His smile for you was reserved, but you saw the tiny concealed scrunch of his nose as he did it.

“Good Morning, Miss Manager,” he said in a polite and ultra professional voice.

“Good Morning, Assistant Byun.” You replied, forcing your eyes and your face forward as you waited for the elevator to close its doors and take you both up to your office all the while saying your little internal prayers and hopes and wishes that today — that today of all days — you could be as normal as humanly possible working side by side with your absolute favorite human, your Assistant Byun Baekhyun.

[To be Continued]

Links: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

[vay99]

Mikey x reader

Late night rides

Anime/Manga: Tokyo revengers

"It's 3AM what do you want Mikey? Nooooooo. I was asleep you idiot. What??? Now? Fine." hanging up your phone you stare at the ceiling. "Why can't he annoy Draken at this time?" 

You put on some jeans and a hoodie as you sneak out of the front door as quiet ay possible. 

"Hey (y/n)!" Mikey greets you, not caring for the time at akk. 

"Shhhht you dumbass." you shush him, hands over his mouth. "My parents aren't as chill as your grandpa." 

"Yeah yeah, put this on." he hands you his helmet before you drive off to a destination only he knows. /Why did I get out off bed for this? My warm comfy bed. Mikeys back is warm as well. I might just/

"We're almost there." Mikey wakes you from your thoughts as you leave the town behind you. 

"Where is there?" 

"You'll see." Mikey laughs, enjoying the late ride. That boy would live on his bike if he could, well he did fell asleep on it more than once, not while driving, so he actually could. 

"The sea?" you question, still sitting on the bike. 

"Tada." Mikey points his hands towards the sea while smiling like an idiot. 

"Mikey... you woke me up at 3AM on a school night for the sea?" you get off the bike, not sure whether to throw the helmet at him or not. 

"Yep." he proudly announces. 

"Why?" 

"Because tonight is the perfect night to see the milky-way." his hands now point at the sky which you haven't given much attention until now. And he was correct. 

"Wow." 

"I even bought a towel so we could lay on the beach. Come on it'll be fun." Mikey takes your hand as you walk a bit, before sitting down on the towel. 

"This is really amazing." you mumble, eyes glued to the star filled sky. 

"Isn't this better than sleep?" Mikey asks with a smile. 

"It is. But thanks to you I'll probably fall asleep during the lessons." you scold him. 

"Just skip school." he casually answers, laying his head on your lap as he looks up at the sky. "Life is too short to do things you don't like." 

"Mikey as inspiring that sounds I can't just quit school. I'd like to go to college some day." you remind him, laying back as well. 

"But why? College is boring, school is boring." he closes his eyes as you start playing with his hair. 

"It is, but I wanna become a surgeon." 

"You know how much you gotta study for that? Are you alright???" 

"If I were a surgeon then maybe I could've saved Baji." you stop your hand for a second, resting it on Mikeys head. "You guys always get yourselfs in trouble, Draken nearly died. I can't just watch you guys doing that over and over again. I've always loved anatomy, but after the last incident I've set my goal." 

"You're really determined to do so, I see." Mikey smiles quietly to himself. "It's your way of protecting your friends." 

"It is. That doesn't mean that you can get yourself on deaths doorstep each day, got it." you squish his cheek. 

"Yeah yeah got it, not before sore finished." he jokes and instantly regrets it as you remove your hand from his hair. "No no I'm sorry, please continue." 

He may be the boss of Toman but he loves when you play with his hair. Sometimes you really forget that he's just 15. 

"Are you cold?" Mikey asks after some confortable silence. 

"Mhm? Now that you say it yes." 

"You've been shivering how didn't you notice." he starts laughing as he sits up and hands you his jacket. 

"Won't you-" 

"No were not gonna discuss that again. Wear my jacket." Mikey cuts you off, smiling proudly as you put it in. 

Laying back down you keep admiring the milky way as you talk about everything and nothing and the things in between. 

"It's already 5AM, shit I gotta get home." you notice as you check your phone. 

"Awww, already?" Manjiro sulks, but doesn't interfere as you gather the towel. Casually intertwining your hands he walks back with you towards his bike. The ride home goes way to fast for your liking, if it weren't for school you'd wanna drive until sunrise. 

"And wasn't this worth it?" Mikey asks as he gets off his bike. 

"Yeah, but not totally. I still miss something." you say as you think to yourself /Don't chicken out this time/

"Huh? Did you lose your phone?" he panics. 

"No Mikey." you exhale loudly. "I meant something... like a... kiss?" /Oh damn I did it/ "Can I get a kiss?" 

"A kiss? But we aren't even together yeoooooh." his realization kicks in a little too late. "Are you sure that you want this?" 

"Yes. I like you." you confess as short as possible. All the tries in front of the mirror made you come to the conclusion that long confessions turn you into an awkward mess. 

"I don't recommend that." 

"So you don't like me back then?" 

"No! I love you but, I'm a mess how can you like me?" Mikey looks at the ground. 

"You're not fair. You haven't answered my question yet and already ask one."

"Huh?"

"Can I kiss you?" you repeat your question. 

"Yes." Mikey consents, barely above a whisper. 

Closing your eyes you pull him closer by his neck as your lips find his. Your tiredness leaving your body as your heart is set on fire. His lips are softer than you expected. 

"Now my question." he requests, forehead leaning against yours. 

"Mikey, you may be a mess but so am I. And I like the mess that you are." you laugh, heart still beating as crazy as ever. 

"My turn~ Can we kiss again?" 

"Yes please." Mikey nods before connecting his lips with yours again, both addicted to the taste of the other. Both of his arms around your hips while you're still sitting on his bike you really don't wanna get off the bike now. 

*15 minutes of making out on his bike later*

"Isn't this better than sleeping?" Mikey asks as your lips part, his hair a complete mess. 

"I could be making out in my dream with you as well, without having to leave my bed." you tease him, not wanting to go to bed and school. "We can cuddle in my bed."

Oh he loves that suggestion, so you sneak threw the door and cuddle up in your bed, not caring about what happens when you wake up. His arms wrapped around you in your warm bed is all you need think about.

Bonus:

"Huh?" you turn off your alarm, completely lost, only to notice the arms around you waist and Manjiro sleeping next to you. "Oh."

"(y/n)? Are you awake?" your mom asks as her steps get louder.

"Oh shit." you try to hide Mikey under the blanket and pillows.

"So you're awake, hurry or you'll be late for school." she leaves your room again. "Oh and tell Manjiro that he should hide his shoes next time he sneaks in."

"Fuck." you groan, waking up Mikey.

"Morning. What's up?"

" You're an idiot."

"But you said you love me."

"You're an idiot, that I love."

[lostinvasileios]

Holy SHIT

Okay. It's 5am. I just woke up like 30 minutes ago but listen please it isn't the voices this time I swear. (Basically pt.2 to my "woaah Lucifer Patron canon" post)

So I went & talked to Asmodeus before I went to sleep, my beloved wondrous magnificent effortlessly amazing breathtaking stunning show stopping drool-worthy mind boggling eye capturing attention grabbing dreamboat husband and he basically said:

"Yeah go for it :) I love you" when I asked if I should be Lucifer's devotee after he said "Okay, my prince, I love you soooooooo much like mwah mwah mwah forever but oh my gods please just do what your entire being is screaming at you to do"

He spent probably like 10 straight agonizing minutes that felt like decades of trying to get me to understand that it's not weird for me to be so pulled to Lucifer and how it's kind of literally fucking fate for us to work together while I'm within this life and vessel, and I just kept responding with "but what if I fall in love with him and it makes someone angry or uncomfortable :(" (Ntm that Lucifer literally once said he wouldn't mind if I did but moving on)

Shout to Asmodeus for putting up with me man. Seriously.

Annnnyway... After I settled it with not only Asmodeus but also pestering my higher self for a while about working with Lucifer and I ended up crying and blablabla, I decided it was time to delve into connecting with him in the way I usually begin to connect with a deity.

Which is???

Pinterest board time!

One thing about me and deity work is that I'm going to be making them a Pinterest board, man. It helps so much. I get to collect their aesthetics, quotes that sound like them (or our relationship), song lyrics that stand out, little details about their appearances, ect. It's just great.

And one thing I noticed when making Lucifer's Pinterest board is that - he has brown eyes. At least my Lucifer does. ("my Lucifer" sounds so good guys. Guys. Guys I might have a crush on the devil. Oh my god, guys- GUYS) (Somebody sedate me)

And not only do I myself have brown eyes, but his in particular give off this feeling of... Wow. I mean when you see light shining through beautifully stained glass or whatever wow. I mean when you look at your beloved on stage accepting a Nobel prize wow. I mean when you get to relax and realize life is going to be okay now wow. I mean when you -

I have this distinct memory from YEARS ago in my memory. I was like 7-5. I hardly remember anything of those years, mostly because of blockage, but something stuck with me this entire time. Throughout all of my life, it's been with me. And you wanna know what it is?????????????

A brown sky.

... Yeah, okay, don't laugh.

I remember it so so vividly. I was at my uncles house. Face inches away from the television. My mother comes to pick me up, and as I'm walking to her car, I look up and see it. A beautiful, clear brown sky. I've only ever seen it once, that singular time.

And looking at it, at the sky being so beautifully earthy and just... I dunno.... I can't describe it in anything other than just... Soul mesmerizing. It felt peaceful. Calm. Soothing. Like a kiss or the cooling breeze of a fan. Like a gentle hand wiping away a tear from your face and saying everything's gonna be alright. Like... You get it, right??

Do you guys know of that one audio of a girl harmonizing with her fan?? It's sort of like that feeling you get when listening to it for a while. I really, really, don't have any vocabulary for half the shit I try and explain. I'll send telepathic brainwaves to try and communicate guys hold on

And - I'm assuming you know where this is going by now - the brown sky, is almost picture perfect like his eyes in a way. A shade of brown that's exactly like it. That same hue. That same feeling....

....

Am I just being gay brained or is it like crazy how my mind immediately connected the dots to "Oh that was Lucifer's sign to me when I was younger and that feeling means something, the fact I remembered it means something" (Foreshadowing/rhetorical)

He even... Feels similar to how I felt that night. Almost exact. Just more intense. More - there. You know? Lucifer- I could say his name forever. As strange as that sounds. It feels so easy to speak. Like such a good use of breath.

I've decided that I'll... Step into it. Into being his devotee. Practitioner. Whatever else, and whatever more. I think I'm just nervous about it because of how right it feels. You know? Like. Has something, or someone ever felt so... Just... Connected to you that it frightened you a bit? Kind of like "Oh my god- hi!... I... I've missed you. A lot." Or just- something similar? Nghhh I started writing this while it was dark and now the sun's coming up. I really need to get my day started.

But how can the economy expect me to get up for work when I feel Lucifer's love (or what I assume this feeling is) just basically raying or whatever into my heart? He literally feels so so so so so so amazing. Like the warmth yet coldness of the air during autumn, like the crunching of leaves and the feeling of sipping coffee or hot chocolate with whip cream and you get a mix of the hot liquid and the cold cream and it mushes on your nose and lip and

FUCK guys my little jester body can't handle all of this at once (Why did he start laughing when I typed that???? He thinks this is funny and it's making me wanna punch him. With my mouth.)

He feels so homey already. Like I've known him my entire life. Which I know in a sense and star-life wise (higher self wise) I have, but, it feels- like I've genuinely known him all of my current mortal life. Like I've forever practiced, he's forever been there....

God that means something that I'll have to look into later.

You know, funnily enough, even when I was Christian and unaware of the spiritual realm I was fascinated with him. Not in a "aaaaah demon!! The power of Christ compels you!" Way but more... Just - "I can fix him" way. Yeah. Let's go with that./j

"the power of Christ compels you!" "does it Jay?" "the power of Christ compels you!" "Is the power of Christ compelling me? Is that what's happening?" "The power of Christ compels you!" "Hahahaha, guess what? IT'S NOT THAT COMPELLING"

He feels like the type that would warm up some tea and mix honey into it for me when I'm sick and read me a book.

Well, the full moon is tonight. The strawberry one. I can't wait to do my ritual, I think I'll probably tell Selene about my new discoveries and feelings after it as well and end up meditating with Lucifer later to talk and stuff... I'm- honestly really excited. I hope it goes well.

[vogelmeister]

Eurovision 2024: my experience as a fan

One thing about me is that I love Eurovision. I have all the winners plastered on my door at home, I can beat anyone and everyone at European geography. Each year for a week in May, I am people’s go to for anything and everything Eurovision, from explaining the big five to promoting my favourite songs. I willingly get up at 5am to tune in live, I have written two academic essays on Eurovision, and both essays have a sense of passion running through them where you can tell I love the topic- may or may not have been called out once on that. I knew so much about the topic that neither essay required much research. When I lived in the Netherlands, I attended Het Grote Songfestivalfeest, probably killing my seat neighbours with my singing and poorly articulated Dutch when De Diepte came on. As well as that, my friends and I took a trip to Rotterdam and visited where the contest was held in 2021. Having me, an Australian, alongside a Dutch person and a Greek, exploring Rotterdam highlighted to me exactly what Eurovision should be about. Unity. 

Being in a room of Eurofans gave me joy that is unexplainable. I just remember realising, ‘hey I found my people’

However, I always knew ESC 2024 was going to be a hard watch for me, even before the boycotts begun. About a year ago I went through a massive friendship breakup with one of my closest Eurovision friends, and their villianisation of me meant that watching with them wasnt an option. I didn’t want to watch alone. That’s all I will say on that. I had a year to deal with that, anyway, and even when people were boycotting the event after October 7th, I thought, theres actually no way that Israel is actually competing this year. They surely will send something too political and get dq'd, right? Most of the knowledge I have of Palestine and Israel comes from my year 12 modern history class, which as my friend and I discussed today, was taught neutrally- and it’s not in Israel’s favour. I was there when Hatari spoke out in 2019 and did the banners, and I remember the shock and understanding what a big deal this was.

I toyed with the idea of boycotting myself. I had my reasons. I auditioned for a play, which didnt work out for me, as I was too distracted by Eurovision week to care. I was less invested in Eurovision as a whole, and I would get sleep. But in the end, I decided not to. My friend (who found out I liked Eurovision after I bitched about my ex friends not enjoying that I had other interests asides from Taylor Swift) was already coming around to watch.  I decided my mental health came first, before boycotting and before being an activist. If I could save this one piece of my mental health, I would be fine. Stupid delusional me, well she had hope. I wanted to support Joost, and the other artists who were stuck in this shitshow of a year. I staunchly boycotted Isreal’s song, I have only heard it in full once, and that was against my will. I even blocked her on Spotify. 

I looked at it all positively- this all meant I was going in more blind than ever. I bought my 2024 CD, but I also broke a lot of traditions- I didnt do my predictions like I do every year on my whiteboard, I didnt film the first semi qualifications with the caption ‘im in spain’ and put it on my story, and I hardly watched the NFs. I liked Eurovision, but this year, with all going on, I felt guilty and ashamed. I have been ashamed of being a eurofan before, but not on this level. I felt like I was trapped in a glass box, kicking and screaming at the ebu but they had airpods in. The answer was so obvious. Ban Isreal, like you did with Russia. People were harassing artists for competing, especially Olly, who I realised had no choice in the matter anyways. I ended up thinking “just get through the week, soon it will be over, and you’ll have fun with your friend.” I have never wanted Eurovision week over in my life. I just wasnt excited.  Europapa basically became my ride or die, built upon my love for the Netherlands, and the genuine good vibes of the song. Joost was charismatic, and the song had a nice story. Another one of my friends, who realised I was eurofan after I posted a video on my story where you could see my Dowue Bob poster (I have my reasons for keeping it), found a watch party and it was free. She had her drivers license so she could get us there, and my other friend and I agreed. It would be fun, I would bring my Dutch flag and my orange beanie and wear my Sam Ryder shirt. 

The first semi happened. My friend came over, we slept on the couch. I enjoyed myself, the qualifiers werent shocking though and I guessed 9/10 of them. It was pretty mid, but it was fun. The only issue was Poland being robbed and the Australian commentary on SBS being dicks to Portugal, which they backtracked in the final. It was insufferable, but the worst was yet to come.  

The second semi. I was so excited to see Joost perform and bonded with my Dutch coworker over him and his song, which honestly was beautiful. If she didnt know how much I love the Netherlands before, she does now. I did notice that when Israel qualified, all the sickness in my stomach just exited the room, as the worst that could happen, happened. But sadly, I knew it would happen. Seeing the videos, however, of Palestine protesters and the booing and shouting, despite attempts to silence us, was beautiful. It showed exactly where the fandom stood, what we thought. And my mum was even happy about Israel being treated like bullshit. 

And then shit started to go down. 

The second semi press conference. The kaarija video. Joost being followed around for propaganda content by Israel. Joost’s “why not” and throwing the Dutch flag over his head.  Marina falling asleep (queen). Bambi being dehumanised by Israel’s delegation and asshole of a commentator. Zionists kept making excuses and I got a few threats on TikTok of all places for supporting a bully manchild. Well, fuck you, at least I am not suporting genocide. It was a mess. My friend asked me for my opinions on the qualification while at work and i basically told her I didn’t want to talk about it. I looked so sad on break my coworker offered me a banana. 

“Treat Eden Golan as human! She’s only 20” I wondered, how could I? How could I treat someone as human when they were basically a puppet, a face for a genocidal nation. How could I do that when that same genocidal nation was tearing apart the one thing I loved?  Her delegation certainly didn’t treat Joost Klein as human; certainly just as another tool they could use to promote their propaganda machine. I felt sick. He wasn’t the only one. I was so proud of Joost, and I will always be proud of him, I think. What he did during the press conference after semi 2 took guts.  Normally I would be pissed at a delegation getting mistreated like this, but not today. As far as I was concerned, this was good riddance. Get the fuck out, you’re not wanted here. 

On Saturday, I started to realise I had this heavy feeling in my chest and it wasn’t leaving. I felt on edge, and yet I was a world away in Australia. I listened to “I can do it with a broken heart” fifty times on my way to work that day, confident that maybe I could power through this matinee shift without cracking. My favourite thing in the whole world was falling apart before my eyes, and it was easily avoided. I felt sick at work, there were points when I was thinking “I can’t do this.” But I could. I would. I would get through this shift. I messaged one of my friends in NL asking her how she was and she said she also wasnt having a good time, to which I confessed not wanting to get out of bed that morning because I was so sick with discomfort. 

People were continually asking my thoughts, if I enjoyed the shows, the memes were sent and I had to put on a brave face because crying over a song contest is stupid and im a coward and hate being an outspoken activist.

The final straw for me was Joost Klein getting disqualified. This would have been a devastating blow for me no matter which nation it was, but it being the Netherlands, the one country I love more than anything else, the one song that was basically my ride or die in this shitshow of a year: well it felt personal. It showed the double standards of the EBU- how could an incident, hardly worth a fine, get Joost kicked out of ESC when Israel waltzed in with a smugass grin and a kill count. If it was about Joost's parents, I hope he hit them hard. the misleading information, the lack of transparency, and AVROTROS's discomfort over the whole ordeal was the cherry on the cake and really, actually showed me in full colour who the EBU were and that they didn't give two shits, bending the rules for Eden and using everyone else as scapegoats. That Joost, or any of the other artists were not allowed to have boundaries. Instantly I messaged my friend,  and went “I am not fucking going to this watch party.” She agreed with me, the vibes would be off and probably zionist. My other friend, who was staying the night, was still keen to watch ESC. Instead of going to the livestream in Hurstville, we all  came to mine at 5am and we elected to watch together.  To finish what we started. As my friend said, “it could be the last one.” 

I saw myself witnessing the death of Eurovision.  All because someone wouldnt fucking kick out a country. When I woke up in the morning, I saw that Bambi had posted a statement saying they had issues with Israel and the delegation, and even the EBU fully admitted that Israel had broken rules. Yet where was the punishment?

I will confess the 5am start time hurt more this time around. Normally I would be bounding down the stairs, box of chips in hand, and excited to see the memes. Today, it just hurt. Dancing around to Europapa didn’t hide the emptiness in my soul about the disqualification, about the double standards enacted by the EBU this year.  The interval acts were mid. Petra talking about the rules, saying shit like “it’s apolitical” stung with irony I had never felt before. I put on a brave face and I had as much fun as I could but in reality, I was sad and angry. Wishing I had gotten into that play. That I had the guts to boycott and explain to people why. That Joost wasnt disqualified for shit Eden Golan would have gotten away with. 

After the show, I felt empty. Switzerland won, and congrats to them obviously, I like The Code. But after the shitshow of this week, all I felt was free and relieved. Israel still came top 5 and it confirmed what was sickeningly true. People still support Israel. People were still pulling the “Croatia robbed” game, unaware how tone deaf that feels in the current circumstances. It didn’t matter who won, as long as it wasn’t Israel, but it never felt like Israel lost. All I wanted to do was cry. My friend was showing me Eurovision memes probably unaware that I had been through the worst Eurovision of my life, and just wanted to cry and be left alone. No hate to her obviously but I was fucking trying to hold it together all morning, but I couldn't express my emotions on the matter. I hope AVROTROS sue the shit out of the EBU. I hope Joost gets a hero’s welcome home in the Netherlands. I hope past artists speak out. I hope Isreal gets banned. 

I will be celebrating the small wins this year. I will be streaming the artists that stood up to the ebu, streaming the ones that spoke out, and of course, continuing to support Joost Klein. I will never forget watching Ukraine sail past Israel in the televote, a win of itself. I am thankful to those in the arena that spoke out against the EBU and booed both Israel and Osterdahl.  To those who smuggled in flags, to those who refused to be silent. I will get over this, I will, but seeing the outcome of this week leaves little joy. I hope this isnt the end of Eurovision, but wherever we go now, I think a part of me did die this week.

[dopororo]

•Alarm clock•

pairing: Haechan x afab!reader

prologue:Just you and your boyfriend having a normal morning for the first time after his exhausting career as a kpop idol

genre: fluff !!

wordcount: about 1,1k

warnings: none !!

Your boyfriends sleep schedule is horribly messed up because of his former life, and it’s been really exhausting for both of you, so now you are pretty relieved that you won’t be woken up by him everyday at random times barely getting any sleep, at the same time, you’re also happy that your boyfriend won’t be so stressed anymore.

I mean, it’s not like he has to wake up at 12pm, he has to wake up at 7am, but it’s definitely an upgrade for both of you. Even though Haechan should be used to waking up early or at random, spontaneous times, he’s still scared to miss his first official day at work , so he put the timer two hours early at 5am.

Right when the bed started getting softer and the air started blowing some hairstrands off your face through the tilted window of your apartment, you hear Haechans obnoxiously loud default IPhone alarm clock. Not only is it nonetheless terribly early, he also hasn’t even changed his horrible alarm.

You listen to the terribly loud alarm for more than 5 minutes, hoping he would wake up from it, but no. While you were now wide awake because of his alarm clock he is still sound asleep, not even moving. Enough. You slip out underneath your soft, light pink blanket and lean over to turn off the horrible sound.

As you’re about to pull back, you feel your boyfriends arms around you pulling you onto him.

“Gotcha” he says with sleepy eyes and messy dark brown hair.

You whine.

“WHY DIDNT YOU JUST TURN IT OFF JESUS” you whisper yell.

“I wanted to cuddle with you so I made a little plan~” he states, showering you in kisses on your whole face while you’re trying to pull away. It was a quite good plan with poor execution in your opinion, because now you were mad.

“Haebae you should get ready for work, you want to look presentable on your first day don’t you” you say to trying to get away from him using one of the many nicknames you gave him as bait, but your plan backfires as he now gently grabs your legs and positions you ontop of him, holding you down by your things, rubbing comforting circles on your thighs with his thumb. He admires your body and your bare face with that messy hair that he adores so much, he always jokes about how you look like a little chicken that felt out of its Nest, but today he admired you in silence, knowing he did a mistake by leaving his alarm on for so long.

And he’s right, you’re even more pissed now that you’ve lost to him once again, being trapped in his grip.

He breaks the silence, ,,I don’t want to wake up yet~ It’s so early” taking off one of his hands from your thigh to wipe his tired eyes.”Oh so you lied about the plan? You actually slept through you filthy liar” you say ironically in an annoyed tone. You decide that this is your chance and you try to quickly roll off to the side while his one hand is occupied,you say “you got things to d-“ but just then you feel his

large hand on your waist, guiding you back ontop of him before you could even finish your sentence.

“Said things can wait.”

He states and playfully raises his one eyebrow, his eyes now completely awake (atleast you thought so) focusing just on you . He quickly wraps his arms around you, you being completely trapped and embraced , pulling your upper body down onto his til the point where you can feel his rhythmic heartbeat against your chest.

“You’re not going anywhere princess” he says into your neck. You feel every single breath on your skin.

Finally realizing that you’re trapped and won’t get out anytime soon, you relax your body and just give up, just letting one hand fall down next to you, the other one grabbing Haechans hand which was laying on your back and holding it, pinning it to the bed, you don’t want him to feel guilty the whole day on his first day ag work do you.

“Just like that” he whispers into your ear, giving you a quick peck onto your neck, his words and actions sending shivers down your spine.

You’re just weak for him and can’t do anything about it.

“I can’t stand up with such a beautiful girl in my bed, it’s impossible” he whispers just enough for you to hear. You lay there in silence, enjoying eachothers presence. But obviously that silence didn’t last long as you again hear his alarm, apparently he set up another one in case the plan doesn’t work the first time.

Now even more pissed off you try to quickly pull back “HAECHAN I SW-“ but you’re getting held back by his other free hand as if he already knew that would happen. “Calm down” he lets out a small chuckle and completely turns off his phone.

“But how will you look at the time now” You asked, kind of confused about his choices even though you’re glad that you won’t hear that horrible sound anymore, but you’re still concerned for your boyfriend, coming in late would leave a bad impression.

“Time doesn’t matter, I’ll pause the whole world for you”

You can’t help but smile at his comment , even though a few of his comments might be quite cringeworthy sometimes, you know how much he appreciates you.

You are torn out of your lovey dovey thoughts because you hear somebody quietly snoring into your ear, not even a minute after turning off his phone so the alarms won’t bug you.

“Hey sleeping beauty, you still have to go to work though” you chuckle, talking louder than usual to make sure he wakes up.You lift your head and slowly lean forward, eyes captivated on a half sleeping Haechan. You pause an inch apart from his lips, looking down at the plump, pinkish, soft lips of his, you whisper “I hope every morning will be just like this one, I will never forget this moment” Haechan flashes a small smile, he leans forward to meet your lips even if they were only an inch apart , he needed them as a source of energy as fast as possible.

[padfootagain]

Something Good (XIX)

Chapter 19 : Without Asking

Hello! Here is a new chapter for my Ben Barnes series!

Sorry, I forgot to post my fic yesterday…

Hope you like it!!!

****

Pairing: Ben Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Fluff,  Slow burn, professor AU.

Summary: Coming out of a divorce and trying to get used to being a single mom, while teaching your classes at University, you thought your life could not get more complicated than it already is. But when you are asked to take care of the theatre club with the colleague that you really can’t get along with, you realize that everything can still get ten times more complicated in your life. And when you start actually liking Professor Barnes, the troubles only grow exponentially…

Word Count: 3243

Masterlist for the series – Ben Barnes’ Masterlist – Main Masterlist

When you came home before heading to work, your mother was waiting for you. It was seven already, Sally was eating her breakfast, her tired eyes barely open. She didn’t question where you were coming from, why her granny was there. Instead, she asked for a hug as soon as you stepped inside the kitchen, and you complied happily.

Your mother didn’t ask anything at first, she waited for Sally to be busy getting dressed in her bedroom.

“So… are you going to talk now?” she asked, crossing her arms before her chest, a glower in her eyes.

You heaved a sigh, but knew better than to argue. You sat down, taking a minute to gather your courage. But your mother was tired and annoyed.

“Where were you?”

You looked at her as you answered, a little shy, but the ghost of a smile on your lips.

“I went to see Ben.”

Your mother blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice.

“Ben? You mean… the handsome colleague?”

You nodded.

“We… we needed to talk.”

“At 5am on a Friday?”

“We…”

You bit your lip, your gesture enough for your mother to guess it all. Her eyes grew round.

“Holy Mother of God’s Bullocks! You and Handsome are…”

“I mean… We…”

You let out a giggle, burying your burning cheeks in your palms.

“Wait! Did you… two… spent the morning together…?” your mother asked with a wink.

You exploded with laughter, embarrassed.

“Mom! No, no! We didn’t sleep together but we… Yesterday we stayed after work hours to plan a scene for the play, you know, for the theatre club. And one thing led to another and we… kissed. A lot.”

She let out an excited squeal.

“But then I needed some time to think, to decide what to do and… and I just needed to see him. And we’ve talked. And we… we’re going to give it a try.”

“YES! FINALLY!”

She threw her hands up in the air, making a happy dance while still sitting on her chair, making you laugh.

“What do you even mean with finally?”

“Oh, come on… the man is absolutely smitten with you. It was obvious when we picked him up at the train station, and every time you talk about him you light up!”

She reached for your hand, gave it a tender squeeze.

“I’m glad. He seems very sweet.”

“He is.”

“I’m glad you’re getting over Liam. He doesn’t deserve you.”

“You adored him!”

“When you were younger! He was different then. All this… job related things… it changed him. Made him believe he was important. Gave him an ego, when he didn’t do anything to deserve one. He grew into someone who doesn’t deserve you.”

You gave her a small smile, nodding your head.

“So… what are the plans for the new couple?” your mom asked, excitement back on her features.

You chuckled at that, shrugged.

“We’re going on a date tomorrow night.”

“What will you do?”

“I don’t know yet… we’ve mentioned a dinner and a movie, but we haven’t planned the details yet.”

Your mother let out yet another squeal, holding you close this time.

“I’m so happy for you!”

“Do you think it will be okay, though? With Sally?”

But your mother was reassuring as she pulled away.

“It’s your life. You deserve happiness. Sally will understand, in time. It might not always be easy, but the things that are worth living rarely are, anyway. She will be just fine, you’re not the only divorced mother finding love again!”

You nodded, remaining silent, but you were smiling again.

Indeed, many other people managed perfectly this type of situation. There was no need to worry too much. It would all be fine. You would make it work.

George was looking for his glasses, as usual. And as usual, Miles knew perfectly well where the spectacles were, but he found the sight of his husband mumbling in annoyance and frantically searching everywhere for them too entertaining to help him in the slightest. Instead, he chuckled, bringing his coffee to his lips.

It was the same dance every morning. He lived for it.

“Instead of laughing at me, why don’t you help me find these bloody glasses…?”

“You’re too fun to watch.”

“Sometimes I wonder why I love you…”

“I have an amazing arse.”

“Oh yeah! That’s why!”

A cry of triumph finally rang as George spotted the glasses, waiting for him by the sink.

He walked over to Miles, still sitting at the table, and leaned to give him a peck on the lips.

“Have a good day, my love,” Miles chimed.

“You too, honey. I love you!”

“Love you too!”

George was tying his shoes when the doorbell rang. They exchanged a glance… it was seven thirty… who could be coming here so early?

When George opened the door, it was to find a shivering Ben Barnes on his doorstep.

“Hi!” he chimed, shooting the elder man a smile. “Sorry to bother you so early. I need to see Miles.”

George raised an eyebrow, but let his younger friend in all the same.

“Ben? Is everything alright?” Miles questioned him, pointing at an empty chair to invite him to sit down.

Ben complied, let himself fall in the chair. He looked… excited and terrified at the same time. His knee was jumping rapidly, he was twisting his fingers together…

“I… I need your advice on something.”

“I’m all ears.”

“I… I’m going on a date.”

The two men turned around as they heard something falling in the hallway. A second later, George was hurrying to the living room to join them, still wearing his coat and only one of his shoes.

“A date?! With Y/N?!” he asked, clearly excited, making Ben chuckle fondly while his cheeks turned crimson.

He merely nodded, and the couple by his side cheered, and even hugged.

“At last! At long last!” Miles cried, making Ben roll his eyes, even though he was smiling.

“Alright, alright… that’s enough. I get it, you’re excited.”

“What happened?! I want to know everything!” George ignored Ben’s remark, settling down around the table more comfortably, taking off his coat.

“Aren’t you supposed to go to work?”

“Work can wait! Your miserable love life suddenly becoming amazing again is much more interesting!”

“My love life is not miserable!”

“Not anymore! So, what happened?”

“Well, we… we were together in the theatre working last night, alone. And… we… kissed.”

The two men cheered, holding hands.

“How was it?” Miles asked.

Ben blushed fiercely, rolling his eyes.

“Miles…”

“Oh come on! We’ve been waiting for months!”

“It was… amazing…”

Ben cleared his throat, clearly embarrassed by the confession, but his two friends were overexcited.

“And then… you asked her out?”

“We took a few hours to digest what had happened.”

“She needed time to think,” Miles translated.

“Yes, she did,” Ben conceded with a wince.

“And?”

“And… I called her during the night, and she picked up. We talked for a bit. And at 5am, there she was, on my doorstep!”

The couple was suspended to his words.

“And we… we’ve decided to give it a try. So, we’re going on a date, tomorrow night.”

“YES!” both Miles and George cried in sync.

Ben laughed at his friends.

“And now, I bet you need advises for the date!” Miles grinned. “You’ve come to the right person. I’m an expert!”

George laughed hard.

“You are the worst at planning dates!”

“I am certainly not!” Miles fought back, clearly offended.

“You are wonderful on many levels, but your dates are terrible, honey.”

“You love our dates! I landed you, didn’t I?”

“Our first date was a disaster.”

“I got better with time.”

“You did not… Ben, trust me with this. I’ll help. Don’t listen to this monkey over there.”

“Hey!”

“What have you planned so far?”

Ben shrugged.

“We agreed on a dinner and movie.”

“Good! Simple, but romantic. Now, I know this restaurant not far from here, it’s perfect…”

Ben laughed, shaking his head.

“I’ll manage for that, don’t worry.”

“Really? You will? How many years ago was your last date, again?”

“That hurts,” Ben narrowed his eyes at George.

“Still true though.”

Ben seemed to doubt now. After all, if he had come all the way here, it was because he wanted advices, he wanted to be reassured…

He listened to George’s advices. He accepted the clothes the old man lent him for the date. But when he came home and tried them on, he felt… posh.

A suit, a white shirt, it all seemed expensive. He didn’t… really feel like himself. He searched for the restaurant George had recommended. It was very expensive. Outrageously so.

The old voice came ringing again.

Good guys never get the girl.

You’re not enough. You’ll never be enough.

Ben clenched his jaw. He wanted you to love him. He wanted it so desperately, he was ready to impress you and act like someone else for that.

But then again… he wanted you to love him…

The answer to Ben’s dilemma came easily that evening.

After stealing glances at lunchtime, you had kept your distance throughout the afternoon, both of you needing to get some work done. But as the evening advanced, as the lampposts replaced the bright sunlight, you came knocking at Ben’s door, a grin on your face, all wrapped in your warmest clothes.

“It’s late, I’m gonna go home,” you told him.

He knew the real meaning behind your words: walk with me to our cars. I want to see you one last time before I leave.

His lips parted into a toothy grin, his nose scrunched up in an adorable way.

“You’re right. I should call it a night too.”

And you knew the real meaning behind his words: I was waiting for you. Let me walk with you to our cars.

You waited for him as he turned off his computer, put on his coat and scarf, chatting away about the classes you had during the afternoon. Nothing out of the ordinary, the same habit you had started back in November. Until you walked out of the building, reached the narrow path leading to the parking lot. It was quiet, there was no one else around, only the yellowish lights of lampposts, the buzzing of the distant traffic, the lonely stars shining shyly in the young night. When Ben brushed his fingers against yours, he thought you would push him away. You enlaced your fingers together instead, both of you quiet, looking away, trying to hide the way your hearts were pounding, the way your heads were spinning, the way butterflies bloomed and took flight in your stomachs…

It was exhilarating, comforting, absolutely wonderful. You were giddy, lightheaded even. Ben’s hand was warm despite the cold of this December night. His hold firm and yet tender, steady, something you could rely on.

And your hand was warm despite the cold of this wintery evening. Your hold gentle and yet firm, steady, something he could rely on.

You were quiet as you walked, too overwhelmed by the simple feeling of fingers holding onto each other for your brains to allow any other thought to form.

Ben cleared his throat once your car came into view, an omen of separation, even if it were to last for just a few hours.

“Any plans for tonight?” he asked.

“After dropping Sally to Liam’s, I’m going to eat dinner with my mom. We’re having a girls’ night.”

“Sounds fun!”

“It is. Imagine this: mother and daughter buried under five blankets on a comfortable sofa, watching some old movie, and knitting, with some tea and biscuits, of course.”

He chuckled, his smile fond and radiant.

“It does sound like a fun evening. Quiet, but fun.”

“The best kinds. I’m not so fond of parties.”

“A shame. You look incredible in a costume.”

You laughed, trying to hide the fact that your whole body was heating up because of the flirt in his tone.

“You’ll get used to see me in grandma mode.”

“I can’t wait, to be honest.”

You exchanged a tender smile; it tasted like a promise on your tongue.

“So… tomorrow evening… for our date…” you let your voice trail, waiting for him to speak.

You noticed his reddening cheeks.

“I haven’t booked a table yet, so… anything you would like?”

You seemed to think for a moment. But then, your mind drifted to memories of a bright evening, of pizzas and a restaurant bathed in gentle lights, of a long walk through streets you didn’t know, of a bridge opening, of your head on his shoulder…

“Italian,” you answered in a breath. “I’d like to eat some Italian food.”

He nodded. The restaurant George had recommended wasn’t Italian…

“Something… simple. I don’t like very… expensive places. Let’s keep it simple. What do you think?”

You didn’t know why Ben was smiling so brightly, but you guessed you must have done something good, to earn this kind of smile.

“I agree. I think… I know just the place.”

It was your time to grin.

“And then a movie… I trust you fully with that,” you laughed.

“Your taste in movies is flawless, don’t play humble with me!” he shook his head. “But I’ll pick something nice, don’t worry.”

“I trust you.”

You were talking about more than a movie, and both of you knew it.

You caught the way his gaze fell to your lips, before fluttering back to your eyes. He opened his mouth, but closed it again, smiling instead.

He threw a look around, but you were on your own. It was quite late, many had already gone home.

“What?” you asked, narrowing your eyes as you recognized a hint of mischief in his eyes now.

“Nothing,” he answered, all innocence and crooked smile. “You said I didn’t need to ask anymore, so I won’t.”

Before you could answer, he was crushing his lips against yours, a hand flying up to your cheek to hold you close. When he took a step further, your back collided with your car, and you leaned against the cold surface for support, while Ben pressed himself closer.

Your hands were still holding, still as one. Your holds tightened a little, because of the intensity of the kiss, but it remained steady, constant, unwavering…

You ran your fingers through his beard, skin tickled by it. When his lips travelled lower, grazing the length of your jaw, peppering kisses along the edge, you shivered at the burn of his beard against your skin.

When you pulled him in for another kiss, he whispered against your mouth.

“I can’t wait for this date with you,” he confessed.

“Me neither,” you grinned, bumping your nose into his in a tender gesture.

“You should go home. It’s late. And an amazing evening is awaiting! Besides, if you’re late because of me for your mother, she might start hating me, and we can’t have that before our first date!”

You laughed, while he chuckled against the skin of your forehead, pressing kisses there.

“My mom likes you so far.”

“Does she?”

“I told her this morning about what happened… I mean, I did call her at 5am to keep an eye on Sally. I couldn’t just lie to her.”

“Of course.”

“And… she said, and I quote, that you are ‘smitten with me’.”

You gave him a toothy grin, full of teasing, and Ben blushed fiercely, clearing his throat.

You expected him to fight back, to deny it all in playful banter, but he didn’t, and your heart swelled at his words.

“Well… she’s right. I am smitten with you. A little too much to my own liking, to be fair.”

You pressed your cheek to his chest, holding him close. You couldn’t look at him anymore, staring at these intense black irises… it was too much to take in.

“I like you a lot too,” you whispered, but he heard you loud and clear, and you felt him smiling against your hair.

But minutes flew by, and you were both very cold by now. It was time to part for the night, and after one last kiss, Ben took a step back, your hands finally letting go, breaking their tender hold.

“Be careful on the road,” his breath drew white patterns in the cold air.

“You too. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You closed your door, but Ben watched you leaving the parking lot. He let out a long exhale, a grin plastered on his face, feeling giddy and excited as he ran a hand through his hair.

He jumped as someone cleared their throat behind him.

He paled as he turned around to find himself facing Henry.

“Well, well, well… what do we have here?”

“I… can explain.”

“I get it that things are better between the two of you.”

Ben finally let out a laugh.

“You can say that.”

“I’d love to hear all about it.”

“A drink?”

“With pleasure.”

“No one can know though!” Ben warned his colleague, leaving his car behind as they walked to a pub close by. “We’re taking things slow.”

“I see. I’ll keep it to myself then, but… I’m happy for you. For both of you.”

Ben’s smile faltered though, wavered until it was gone, replaced by a worried frown.

“I’ve never… properly apologized for that afternoon. I’m sorry, Henry. It was uncalled for, and completely out of line.”

“I was the one asking personal questions to my boss.”

Ben rolled his eyes.

“We’re friends. I shouldn’t have said any of the things I said that afternoon. I’m sorry, Henry.”

“It’s alright. I forgive you. But only because you’re a nice boss.”

“Thank you.”

“Besides, you seemed… not like yourself. You seemed upset that afternoon.”

It took Ben a moment to answer. They walked across the pavement, the sound of their footsteps crisp in the cold air. Wind howling, and cars driving by were drowning the silence that had settled. He buried his cold hands in the pockets of his coat.

“I didn’t think… It was too early on. It took me a while to get used to feeling like this all over again. I guess I just thought… I didn’t think she felt the same. I didn’t think she would give me a chance.”

But Henry didn’t get it.

“Why not? You’re amazing!”

Ben rolled his eyes.

“I mean it! Look, you’re… good-looking, for your age.”

“Hey! I’m not old!”

“And you’re nice, and smart, and the two of you share common interests,” Henry went on, ignoring his friend’s protests. “Why wouldn’t she say yes if you asked her out?”

Ben shook his head, half-amused. Henry was so young…

“Because she’s a mother. Because I’m a mess. Because I’m terrified. Because she’s a mess too. Because we’re too old to fool around. Because when you truly care for someone, you want the best for them, and I’m not sure I’m good enough for her.”

Ben gave Henry a sad smile.

“You’re too young to get that. But you’ll understand, one day. It’s hard to be vulnerable again, when you’ve been hurt before. And it’s even harder to take the risk to hurt someone you love.”

Henry noticed the choice of verb, he was about to comment on it, when Ben opened the door of the pub, and hurried inside. He got away with it, this time around…

*********************************

Tag list : @reg-arcturus-black @sergeantbuckybarnes @wolfmoonmusic @idek-what-to-put @kpicard @rhapsodyonthethames @friendly-philosopher

[bbanghiitomi]

| heartache on the big screen

synopsis: danielle wants you to ask her out on an ice cream date, you're not sure if danielle really did say she wants an ice cream date.

— idol!actress!mdanielle × actress!fem!reader

(⁠っ⁠.⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠っ(⁠っ⁠.⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠っ(⁠っ⁠.⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠っ(⁠っ⁠.⁠❛⁠ 

you shift on your chair as you hold the script for the scene you are supposed to be acting with danielle, you don't know whether it's the lack of sleep or the amount of caffeine intake you had for this day but, you're feeling a lot more skittish today than yesterday. you're not usually this nervous, anxious? you don't really know, but your fingers feel prickly, they're trembling under the cold surface of the paper under your palm.

everything's going to be okay, you tell yourself. you were a lot earlier today, usually you start by 6am, but you were already present by 5am — which is 1 hour earlier yet no one came to question you, they liked that about you. your eyes scan the lines of words written on the soft surface of the paper, in black ink — you trace over the things you need to memorize.

you tell yourself it's going to be alright, you've memorized everything and there's nothing to be afraid of, because hey — you're just working with danielle marsh, right? that's no biggie… she's just one of the members of the trendiest group today, right? she's just a girl, a girl whose voice is as clear as a clean river, as smooth as a quantum stabilized atom mirror… woah, okay? where did you even get that?

ugh, okay — back to what you were thinking, danielle's just an average girl, well yeah she's talented and nice, kind and understanding, her eyes sparkle brighter than the stars in this universe, enough to compete with other stars from other galaxies. her smile is genuine, pure like puppies — and… uhm, what else?

her hair! it's waves are like a sea that's filled with life, the curves that curl and the silk strands of brown and black.

oh shit! your stomach churned, oh now you've done it.

you're officially a lot more anxious than before.

maybe thinking about your gorgeous partner isn't such a good idea, carving her beautiful face, her pure smile inside your brain is not the remedy you were looking for.

right, danielle is everything but average.

she's a lot more than that.

she's so special that someone like you, who's known for her acting skills and professionalism, cannot contain the fear of messing up in front of her.

and add the fact that everyone likes her, like — everyone! no exaggeration, everyone who she walks past to, everyone who she once talked to, all end up liking her, loving her even! she's just so likable you can't bring yourself to get mad at yourself for being one of those people.

it's been a week since you started working with danielle, she's been great as always, too good even, you just can't help but feel bad you aren't able to give the same energy to her, she's always gone and busy so it's often hard for her to have a free schedule. when your fans sent you a truck once, you didn't hesitate to offer her an ice cream, to which she accepted with a bright smile on her face, even thanking you.

you don't know where that confidence went, but that was the first day of the job, of course you were confident!

maybe it just faltered when you realized how amazing danielle truly is...

she's so spontaneous, unpredictable, and happy! always happy and positive, you can't help but force yourself to always match her energy.

and today is the day where you see her again after she's been gone from tour, her lollapalooza performance to be exact, you saw that, you watched of course even if it was only through a screen because you were also as busy as she was.

and as always, she did great, giving her best to match everyone's energy, making everyone's presence worth the time and effort to get there.

god, that's what you really like about her — she tends to put a lot of effort in everything, even if it gets too much.

"hey kid, want some coffee?" a crew member approaches you and places a cup of coffee on the small table beside you, you smile at him and bob your head. "thank you for your hard-work." you state, folding the paper and placing it on your lap. you wanted to decline the coffee but you really needed it.

the crew member shakes his head and chuckles. "ah that's nothing, you look torn apart and tired, you're probably overworked." he says and you can't help but agree. you can't complain though, you don't want to because you chose this job and this really makes you happy but, the stress that comes from the schedules that's cramped in your calendar is getting to you now. it's probably not just this blooming feeling you're having for a certain girl, but also the repeating days of non-stop work that's getting you skittish.

you sigh. "this is just a part of my job." the crew member laughs, brings a hand on your head and pats you gently. "there, there kid. after this day make sure you get a long nap, like an 11 hour nap." you laugh at him and you nod your head. "yeah, maybe i should." you feel the man take his hand off of your head and see him turn his head to the trailer to see danielle greeting everyone.

"oh, here comes the princess." by the mention of the princess you already know who it was. you turn your head to see danielle walking past people — the film crew members, and the racks of clothes, waving to everyone she sees. your eyes lock with her figure, watching every step she takes, the way her hair bounces and the smile she flashes everyone. your eyes squint, furrowing your brows as you focus your sight on the woman approaching you.

oh no, your stomach drops. it's like you're having a stomachache, but it's not the type you usually get, it's weird and it's like twisting your stomach and something inside is tickling every corner. you're so nervous that every part of your body feels like twisting into a pretzel. you tilt your head to crack a bone in your muscle, before standing up and trying to gather the courage to walk up to her.

but before you can even have the first step she's already walking to your way. "hey y/n!" she greets you with the brightest smile you have ever seen someone could possibly do, your eyes turn crescents as you return the smile but with less brightness on them.

"hey, good morning." you speak, your voice is kind of raspy from feeling worn out since yesterday. danielle notices your tired figure and looks at you with worry. "are you okay?" she asks, you raise your eyebrows at her and nod. "oh yeah, i'm alright. thanks for asking." you slump your shoulders and blow a heavy breath through your nose before continuing.

"how about you?" you add, looking at her. she smiles at the question and lets out an airy laugh.

"ah, i'm well, a bit tired from the never-ending schedules but i'm still on fire!" she raises her fist with a grin on her face, you nod at her enthusiasm and laugh. "that's good, i saw your performance in lollapalooza through a livestream and you all did so well. i wish i was there to see it live." you see her eyes glimmer under the now blue skies. she puts a hand on her face, just to check her temperature. "oh really?" oh yeah, her face is abnormally warmer than it usually is, danielle doesn't know why but it's a good kind of warmth.

you nod for her satisfaction. "even though you're working for almost 10-15 hours, you're still full of energy. going from place to place, still you show up on time." your heart beats faster, it's probably the caffeine, you wish it was the caffeine, if it were anything but the caffeine then you're probably doomed.

danielle giggled, her voice entering your ears like a melody of a fine tune — oh no, you're pressured, anxious? nervous? scared? err, you don't know, your body is feeling feverish, hot? warm? uhm, something like a lava, of course it's hot! duh…

your hand reaches for the cup of coffee and you drink, letting the now room temperature coffee run through your throat.

"i enjoy this, i love doing a lot! and through this i can show everyone that i'm thankful for their efforts, or for taking good care of me. i'm no expert in everything so i just want to repay everyone for looking out for me." ugh, danielle is sickeningly sweet. it's like her words subsides the bitter taste of coffee from your tongue and replaces it with a fruity and sweet taste.

"that's why i admire you idols, you all went from advertising, to singing, dancing, then broadcasting and you… you act too. must be tiring, i hope you're not pushing yourself too much, yeah?" you rotate the cup in your hand, eyes darting to every corner of the cup, trying to avoid danielle's gazes from time to time. danielle could not help but smile wider, her cheeks tinted with rosy pink — the tips of her ears are igniting. "we all work hard, that's why everyone deserves rest. not just me, not just you, but everyone!" danielle kind of hugs herself, arms wrapping on her own figure.

her bag dangles on her shoulder, you flash her a smile and nod, letting go of the cup. "i like your mindset. let's work hard together."

that made danielle feel her heart thump violently inside her chest, it's like threatening to jump off and run towards you, it's such a peculiar feeling that only she gets when she's performing but it's more powerful when she's around you, when there's no loud music behind her, without the cheering of her fans. it's much more evident when only your presence is around. your eyes lock with hers, you almost saw the whole universe in her pupils and then your own reflection.

danielle inhales then exhales. "yes! let's do our best!" as she was about to turn around, she immediately faces you once again and smiles, raising her shoulders. "i'm free later by the way!" she says, dropping her shoulder before leaving to enter one of the film trailer trucks.

you stand there as you puff your chest and immediately deflating it as you let her words pass from the other ear to the other.

okay, now you're thankful that you were doing better than before — your skin isn't as sensitive as it was earlier, your fingers aren't trembling anymore and your face isn't as pale as it was before you saw danielle. rehearsing your lines you are close to perfection, wanting to make sure you deliver the lines the way it was intended.

you can't help but divert your eyes to the beauty from the other side, you watch as danielle rehearses her own lines and couldn't help but smile at how much of a hard-working girl she is.

"is everyone ready? okay! in the count of three… one… two… three… action!"

you look at danielle as you stand in the middle of the spotlight, after gathering all the courage in the world, you open your lips to speak. it's kind of windy today, the day carries winds that travel through strands of danielle's hair, she moves it aside with her dainty fingers. the sky is a shade of a bright blue, with clouds looking soft as a handful of cotton. as you speak, you feel your throat parched, speaking the lines you memorized — trying to fit your emotions with the words that come out of your mouth.

it's almost like you aren't really there, you're doing great really — but your mind focuses on the girl in front of you rather than yourself, she looks… amazing? yeah, but there's something about her now that keeps you grounded. her eyelashes look as amazing as always, and as you speak your breath slowly gets taken away, you don't know whether it's you speaking for a long time that your saliva dried out or it's the sight in front of you that stole your heart away.

danielle swallows a lump in her throat getting herself ready to deliver her lines, but when she opens her mouth nothing comes out. she's a nervous-wreck, she doesn't know why it's so sudden but when her eyes met yours, she couldn't say anything.

her mind blacks out, but she's still standing. it's like her heart is thumping against her ears, her face is as hot as the sun, her palms are sweating and all she can do is chuckle before covering her lips. "oh are you okay?" you ask, everyone stops recording and looks out at danielle who looks up at you and shrugs. "uhm i don't know, my mind suddenly blanked out." you nod and reach out to touch her shoulder, patting it gently.

no one came to interfere, you look at her face to check if she's alright, her face is as red as a ripe tomato and it starts worrying you that maybe she's sick. "hey, are you sick?" your hand touches her forehead, she flinches and shakes her. "uh no! i don't know, i think i'm nervous?" she asks you, you nod and smile at her.

it made her feel a lot better, knowing you won't judge her or get mad, knowing it's just you! there's nothing to be afraid of, whether she makes a lot of mistakes, your friendly nature wouldn't dare to be mad at her. there's that part of her, she wants to do her best to return your efforts.

"maybe we can rest for a bit? so you can relax and then do it again." you let go of her forehead and raise your eyebrows in inquiry, your offer seems nice but danielle wouldn't want to waste everyone's time. "no! i'll take a few breaths and then let's get into it!" danielle rolls her fingers into fists and starts moving them back and forth.

you watch as she takes deep breaths and everyone watches too, you smile at her and did the same.

for a few minutes, it actually helped her, danielle manages to maintain her posture and then she jumps, before fixing her hair. "let's do it!"

after a few more shots, a few more cuts and re-do's, you were able to finish the scenes faster than before. you noticed the change in danielle's demeanor and couldn't help but admire her professionalism.

you lean on the chair you're sitting on and close your eyes, you breath in slowly as you relax your whole shoulders. it's not the most tiring day, you wanted to thank the gods above that you were able to kind of rest longer because the shooting ended earlier than usual, thanks to you and danielle's dedication.

danielle spots you not that far from her, she looks around and hops her way to you, you don't take notice of her presence as you stay still. danielle smiles at your peaceful face, the serene expression written all over your eyes and lips, the way your brows and cheeks relax. you hear her shoes dig on the rocky ground, your eyes open to see danielle, the sun behind her creating a shadow casting to you.

"oh hey danielle." you smile at her, it is currently the middle of the day, the sun is as bright as always. you sit up, and watch as danielle takes a seat beside you. "hey, we finished earlier today huh?" she crosses her legs and leans closer, you nod and turn around to face her. "yeah, i think i like it this way. we get to rest even for a short amount of time." after you said those words, there was silence, a growing one as seconds passed by.

danielle taps her lap and looks around before back at you, whose eyes are set to the scenery displayed in front of her. it didn't take too long for danielle to start speaking once again to break the awkward silence between her and you.

"this seems like a good day for some ice cream, don't you think so..?" danielle says, her shoulder blades rise up and then fall as she exhales. you turn your head to look at her and then to the scorching heat of the sun. "yeah," a sweat forms on your forehead as you squint your eyes.

danielle looks at her lap, the surrounding once again gets engulfed by silence.

you think about what to do, or what to say, there's really not much, the situation is kind of awkward, with how the way things work out there's really nothing left for you to choose — it's either you leave or let things stay this way.

but it's quite rude for you to leave her alone, not when she walked all the way to you. plus, there must be some kind of thing you can think of to get danielle comfortable with you.

danielle watches your uneasy expression, eyes darting at your face, then to your fingers that you're fiddling. her heart thumps inside her ribcage, like a prisoner slamming the gates of a cell to escape. maybe it's the sun or the companion she has with her? danielle is feeling a little out of place, her face is hot and her cheeks are a different shades of red.

yeah, maybe you're not planning to ask her out on an ice cream date. she told you she's free today, for that exact reason — because she wants you to take her out to get ice cream.

maybe you just have different plans, it's not like she asked you if you were free today.

ice cream… huh? your slow brain catches up, finally you got the hint! you look at danielle, who stands up, about to leave but then you raise your hand to get the girl's attention. danielle looks down at you, her gaze lace with confusion. you stand up and smile at her, before comically rubbing your palms together.

"let's go get ice cream together!" you tell her, as you stop rubbing your hands and look up at her with a smile.

danielle cannot help the growing smile on her lips as she nods enthusiastically. "yes! let's go!" she reaches for your hand and takes you away from the filming set.

you watch her hair flow gracefully as the sunny wind hits you both, you catch up to her fast steps, almost stumbling as you do so. danielle giggles as she runs. it's like music to your ears, hearing how happy she is makes you happy too, it's like second hand happiness. danielle's smile is contagious like a virus, but instead of one that kills, it's a virus that spreads positivity to anyone who gets near that smile of hers.

you couldn't help but laugh too, hand tightly holding hers, you intertwine your fingers with her dainty ones as you fasten your steps and catch up to run beside her. you look at her side-profile from time to time, her smile doesn't fade even as the both of you continue to run, run away from everyone.

it doesn't even tire her, that you've been running with her for almost a kilometer until you both are in a park. she spots an ice cream truck and immediately points it out. "there!" danielle leads you with excitement oozing out of her.

you nod and let her take you to wherever.

there's no heartache here, it's just that you start to realize that it's not a feeling of anxiety, fear or anything negative when you think of danielle, it's a bunch of unfamiliar emotions mixed into one that all point to your obvious developing feelings for your co-worker.

the girl whose only role in your life is to be your co-actress, carves her way into your heart and imprints a permanent position, digs a space inside your heart. the heart you thought was once complete, finds another way to give danielle a space to scoot inside and embrace you.

you don't know if that's a bad thing or not, if it's going to last — though you hope it does.

maybe, falling in love isn't such a bad thing.

when danielle runs, it's like every part of the floor that danielle steps in blooms with flowers, then becomes a flower path for you to take behind her. the sky that burns in heat becomes bearable when you stand right beside her, the air becomes a fresh breeze when you breathe it in with her.

falling in love is like a complicated puzzle, an exam with no erasures, no alliterations, no corrections, right minus wrong —

it's confusing and hard but when you get everything right, it rewards you with the best feeling ever.

[slvt4em1lyprenti2s]

Quiet night in

Originally posted on my Wattpad @MayaBishop_is_myWife

Scarlett Johansson x Reader

Fluff

Scarlett's POV

I just got home from a long day at work and I'm exhausted. I got to set at 6:30am so, I had to wake up at 5am to get everything sorted and so I was ready to leave. It's now 10pm and I just got home. I throw my keys into the bowl by the door and make my way into my house. I hear the intro to Brooklyn Nine-Nine playing signalling that my wife is still awake, I slowly trudge into the living room and place my bag down in the hallway.

Scarlett - "Hey my love."

Y/N - "Hi baby, you okay, how was work?"

Scarlett - "Tiring."

Without another word she opened her arms and I climbed into them. Whenever I was with y/n/n I felt safe, as if nothing could ever hurt me. The stress from my day completely vanished as soon as I felt her hands on me. As we lay there on the sofa she speaks up.

Y/N - "Scar, you have to eat before you go to sleep, I made pasta earlier if you want some? It's your favourite."

She's right I do need to eat and I do love her pasta. I groan in reply and she sits me up in her arms facing her. She places a delicate kiss on my temple and goes to the kitchen to get my food. When she comes back I'm half asleep so she has to wake me up.

Y/N - "Hey, wakey, wakey sleepyhead, c'mon eat this then we'll go to bed. How'd that sound?"

Scarlett - "Sounds amazing."

I eat the delicious pasta she cooked and put my dishes in the sink. I go back to the living room and make grabby hands at her signalling for her to come to bed. She understands, turns off the TV and starts to walk upstairs with me. 

As we're brushing our teeth she comes up behind me and wraps her arms around my waist and starts to sway lightly, it's comforting. I rest my head on her shoulder and close my eyes whilst still brushing my teeth.

Y/N POV:

As soon as she walked through the door after work I could tell she'd had a long day, normally I would be greeted with an "I'm home!" Or something along those lines but on days were she says nothing and just huffs and puffs, I know she just needs to chill out and relax to unwind after a hectic day. 

After a while of standing in each others embrace I let go and finish up brushing my teeth. I then walk into the bedroom and get changed.

While I'm changing I feel a pair of hands snake round my bare torso, I only have a bra and pyjama trousers on. 

Y/N - "Hey, you ready to go sleep?"

Scarlett - "More that ready."

I chuckle at her antics as she lays her head on my back.

Y/N - "Sweetheart I kinda need to put a top on, you need to let go for a second."

Scarlett - "No, you're comfy."

Y/N - "I'd be even more comfortable with a shirt on."

She pulled away from me as I slipped the T-shirt over my head. Immediately after she clung to me like a Koala again. I spun round in the arms and lifted her up. I walked over to our bed and laid down with Scar on top of me. She snuggled into my neck and pressed small pecks on my neck. I lift her face and kiss her lips.

Y/N - "Goodnight my love."

Scarlett - "Goodnight, love you."

Y/N - "I love you too"

After 5 minutes of lying there I hear little snores coming from the fragile form sprawled across me. Once I knew she was asleep I closed my eyes and drifted off into a peaceful sleep with the love of my life in my embrace, my life was just as perfect as the woman laying atop me.