#go sleep you bitch

[krysmcscience]

Narilambs your goat

Get adopted, idiot

[izzystizzys]

There is a scratch mark on the floor of the Council chambers that Mace has never noticed before. Not a deep one, mind, quite shallow. This matters because it’s making the white-hot pulse of agony stabbing through his eyeballs ebb momentarily. Then, he chances a glance upwards at the fidgeting Knight in front of them, and it returns in full force.

Huh, he’s never seen Oppo Rancisis’ face turn that colour before.

“Hmm”, Master Yoda hums, deep and scratchy. His expression is unreadable even to Mace beyond a baseline gremlinness, and the force with which he grips the edges of his seat is making his bones creak. Master of the Order you should become, they said. Follow the calling of the Force, you should. A fulfilling purpose, it will be. Mace is going to hunt the little goblin for sport when this is all over, and he’s going to laugh the whole time.

“Show us the livestream again, could you, Knight Parvo?” Yoda asks. Mace bursts a capillary, he’s pretty sure, and so does poor Knight Parvo, whose orange Mon Cala skin tips all the way into blood red with stress. “Most unusual, this is.”

“Absolutely not!”, Ki Adi intervenes before Mace has to, thank the Force for little mercies. Plo Koon’s tusks tremble slightly with either suppressed laughter or abject horror, maybe both, and Stass Allie has her head in her hands. “The holo stills should be enough”, Ki Adi proceeds to add, and Mace has to reconsider all feelings of grace he just felt towards his fellow Councillor.

He never wants to watch Yoda zoom in on someone’s abs again. Or Depa raise her eyebrows at the curve of thighs bent over the dripping front of a speeder.

“Speeder Wash For Our Troops”, his former padawan reads out loud from a still of what has to be hundreds of the things gathered in the public senate parking lot. “Fund Our Boys And Get A Wet Seeing-To!” The series of images features dozens of Coruscant Guard troopers in various stages of unkitted, gleaming and shining with soap suds and water. The fact that the whole thing is also massive shatterpoint after massive shatterpoint is, quite frankly, insulting.

“Well hello- oh dear”, Obi-Wan’s blue form crackles to life in his chair, followed by several sounds of choking that are definitely not him. Good, Mace thinks acidly. If he has to deal with this, then so does kriffing Skywalker. “I’m sorry, why am I looking at Commander Thorn using a washrag like a lasso on top of a speeder?”

“Oh, the Guard’s little fundraising project”, Bail Organa says, as he steps into the Council chambers. Normally, Mace likes the man well enough. Now, he just smiles and adds on, “I’ve already donated, in mine and Breha’s name. Remotely, of course.”

“The Guard’s fundraising speeder wash?”, Obi-Wan repeats, edges of his holo form flickering with what Mace suspects is Skywalker very unsubtly trying to edge in. Force, but the man really is horrible at any and all stealth, like kissing his secret wife in an open arena in front of his Master. “And they are fundraising for…?”

“GAR budget allocations have to come from somewhere”, Organa shrugs. “And with the tide of public opinion turning, they’ve been tending towards cuts. The Guard feels them more keenly than any other sector - they’ve been reduced from half to quarter rations, and medical supplies have not made more than a token appearance in the last draft. The Chancellor has cancelled three consecutive meetings on the matter, and thus it was agreed that a more hands-on approach was needed. Any surplus will go into the Army fund.”

“Surely it can’t be that dire”, Oppo protests, a slightly less concerning shade of purple now. Senator Organa shrugs again, jostling the smattering of cracks slowly building around his person in a way that makes Mace wince quietly. “It’s all publicly available data, Masters.”

It really can be that dire, as it turns out. And quarter rations is only scratching the surface of how dire, considering the Guard has apparently never had access to bacta in all their posting, and also includes requisitioning forms available to the Senate for reconditionings and decommissionings, two words Mace has only heard Ponds whispers amidst shuddering in the early days of the war before Shaak Ti went off and just about tore some throats out over it.

“Alright”, he concedes, rubbing at his temples. “Fair enough, we have failed to tackle a massive blind spot in the Guard’s well being. There is no Jedi assigned to Coruscant, and that’s an oversight on our behalf. But how in the everloving kriff did this get past the Chancellor and Commander Fox?!”

Who have both signed, black on white. Bail Organa smiles cryptically. “Well, if you scroll a bit past that one image, up to the industrial speeder in the back - Commander Fox is currently having credits stuffed into his codpiece in the back, I believe.”

“HE’S WHAT IN THE WHAT NOW”, Commander Cody screeches through the speaker of Obi-Wan’s holo image, and Mace has to summon every bit of Jedi-serenity he possesses in his body to keep from dropkicking a cackling Yoda through the chamber windows.

[euroclydonn]

Genuinely if you feel like everything is going terribly, start by fixing one thing at a time. Once you get the ball rolling it all gets easier. Start by taking a multivitamin or by getting better sleep. Pick one thing and focus on that one thing until it's better. And CELEBRATE EVERY SUCCESS NO MATTER HOW SMALL.

Do not fall into the trap of downplaying every little success!!! If that little success is "I made my bed today" FUCK YEAH BROTHER. if your success is "I got out of bed today" FUCK YES MY DUDE. I am so proud of you. If today is your first day clean I'm so proud of you. If you're not clean today but you're not as bad as you were yesterday I'm proud of you. If today is the day you decided to pick up a book for the first time in years I'm proud of you.

You can ignore your failures. I'm so serious. You failed? Move on. Learn from it, don't dwell on it. Spend all your time focused on your next success. Cause you WILL succeed. It may not look like the success you expected. But you're gonna make it.

And success is different for everyone. For some people success is just contentment. For some it's graduating. For some it's being sober, being healthy, being in less pain, being more comfortable with your body, adjusting to a new sense of self, divorcing a terrible spouse. Whatever it is, I believe in you and I love you.

[snufkins-boot]

Dc x dp idea: time travel yaaaay

Danny, Sam and Tucker get back from fixing some errors in the time line in France just before the French Revolution.

And sure Danny got mistaken for a French aristocrat that had died the day before they got there but it wasn’t to bad, it only made their jobs easier. It won’t be a problem for them.

Meanwhile Constantine, Batman and whoever the fuck else (imma say Hal, I love that green bitch) are exploring an abandoned manor in France after there being reports of strange, violent activity, and with their latest teammate Phantom not picking up their calls Constantine had to pull these two with him instead.

“Hey guys, Phantom’s a ghost, right?”

Hal sounds hesitant as Constantine replies

“Yes, why?”

“I think I found a picture of him living.”

and there on the wall is a picture of a long dead french aristocrat, with black hair and blue eyes but every other detail the same as Phantom’s

There on the wall sits a photo of Daniel Nightingale, a teenager who was possessed by a demon and killed two servants, then himself.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i am asleep much in the way that Wally is asleep. that is to say, I Am Not Sleeping

[faramirsonofgondor]

I think there’s a gay Hollywood ghost that possesses middle aged male actors and makes their characters super mega queer cause the amount of times where an actor is just like “nah I didn’t play him gay.” and then later they’re like “yea I rewatched this and it’s somehow gay, idk what happened guys.” is astronomical??? Like fym you didn’t intend for him to be queer yet you stared longingly into your male costars eyes for an unreasonable amount of time and every time you touched the contact between you lingered unnecessarily??? what do you mean you stared your male costar in the face and flirted, like straight up insinuated you wanted to do the nasty with him (maybe not in so many words, but the insinuation was THERE and CLEAR), without even a hint of a joking tone in your voice????

W H A T ??????

BUT YOU STILL SAY ITS NOT GAY???? BRO IM PRETTY SURE GAY PORN ISN'T EVEN THIS GAY??? YOUR CHARACTERS CONSTANTLY RISK THEIR LIVES FOR EACH OTHER, THEY'RE DEVASTATED BY THE IDEA THAT THE OTHER MIGHT BE DEAD, ALL OF THEIR ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS CRUMBLE TO PIECES BUT THEY ALWAYS STICK WITH EACH OTHER, THEY COPARENT TOGETHER, OTHER CHARACTERS MAKE REMARKS/ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT THEM BEING IN LOVE/TOGETHER, THEY WORE MATCHING COSTUMES TOGETHER, THEY'RE GLUED TO THE HIP BUT WHEN THEY ARGUE ITS TO A DEVASTATING DEGREE - LIKE FULL ON NASTY, MAKING THEIR FRIENDS CHOOSE SIDES DIVORCE TYPE SHIT - AND ONE OF THEM HAS FUCKING RELIGIOUS TRAUMA???? LIKE DO NOT PLAY WITH ME SIR THEY ARE GAY FOR EACH OTHER, THEY WERE WRITTEN THAT WAY AND YOU SURE AS HELL PLAYED IT THAT WAY OTHERWISE SOMETHING ELSE DID (THE GAY GHOST).

(Sorry I lost control of this post the queer gods possessed me for a second to express their outrage.)

But yea so a gay ghost might be possessing these guys cause idk why else they wouldn't remember playing their super mega queer character as queer.

[bestagons]

NASA's #1 Fan

[fluffypotatey]

A Thought:

As Emrys, Merlin is a very powerful sorcerer.

However, his utter lack of any formal training means Merlin is not a very good sorcerer.

The magic he does should be theoretically impossible, but he's got enough raw fucking power to just make it work. Infant demigod smashing blocks together and creating a Lego Death Star.

Merlin: *does magic that Should Not Work*

Other sorcerers:

AND THEY ARE RIGHT TO FEEL UPSET

IMAGINE YOU'RE A SORCERER. YOU'VE BEEN PRACTICING YOUR CRAFT, SHOOTING THE SHIT, LAYING LOW, PLOTTING PLANNING.....THEN THIS FARMY BOY TWINK SHOWS UP AND NUKES THE FUCKING PRIESTESS OF THE LAKE OF AVALON

I'D FEEL PISSED TOO

like, bro, you meet him, you're apprehensive of him bc 'shit that's emrys'. the emrys. the dude that's said to be the greatest sorcerer to ever walk the earth. you meet him. you can feel his magic and like holy shit, what the fuck was that??? you ask him how the fuck he gained so much power by the age of 21????

merlin: you mean....y'all don't also just have magic doing shit when you're a toddler

you, the sorcerer who has had to spend years getting control to fucking heat up a teapot: .........no.......no our magic doesn't do that

goddamn do you wanna just chuck this adult child into the lake and be done with it. better yet, you wish for the sprites to just pick you up and use your body as a sacrifice for entrance into Avalon.

and then, and then

you see how this motherfucker fights against bandits and "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU JUST PUSHING THEM AWAY??? WHERE'S THE SHOWMANSHIP??? THE PIZZAZZ??? HOW MANY SPELLS DO YOU KNOW???"

merlin, who forgot he can freeze time and space and can launch lightning bolts at people: uh....3???

it takes the triple goddess to restrain you from murking the prophesized warlock right then and there.

"NO, NO, FUCK THAT, FUCK THIS, FUCK ALL O' Y'ALL!" you scream as you jump on a ship and move to a place that doesn't have op young adult children who didn't study shit and yet still get an A+

[gayfour]

alright, its about 4am, and that seems like an appropriate time to post my gay little Jim art :)

[deadscell]

would you???

[badley]

really hilarious to me that in asoiaf the two ships most compelling to me is

1. sisterfucker who went through the most traumatising event in his life with tragically straight butch woman 14 years his junior who is slowly reminding him of everything he believed in. and there are strange significant dreams happening. she is in denial about being in love with him bc she thinks he can do better. he cannot (see: sisterfucker + widely reviled and feared + every time someone flirts w him he flirts back until they go what that dick like at which point he goes bad leave me alone). she is the world's most hopeful and honourable knight except she's not a knight. i will stop now bc there is more to say but we will be here all day.

2. well there are two young girls who. yes. are on different continents. and have never met. stay with me. they have had WILDLY different experiences regarding family, marriage, the abuse of power, and old men who are into them to a weird degree. and i think that there is a chance that one of them, having grown accustomed to smiling demurely at you on her way to go pray for the deaths of you and your entire disgusting family, could really use the influence of the other, who keeps saying shit like i am but a young girl after having having sacked two cities and conquered another. when we last saw one of them, she was in disguise gossiping with a sweet stranger while on her way to meet yet another potential husband under duress. and the other had dysentery, a miscarriage, a dragon, and a fake ass husband and city in turmoil to get back to. and i think that is a combo i would like to see. i know they haven't even met yet. this is just vibes and plans and ideas i am sorry.

[wish-upon-the-universe]

Catch me gripping the universe with my bare hands. What do u mean u listen to intent and follow the spirit of the request to the best of your ability and don't monkey's paw the wording. What are you, kind??

[epickiya722]

Yuji 🤝 Megumi

Their existence is seemingly intolerable to some of the fandom 🙄 so there's takes on them that is just borderline bashing

[fincoolguy]

my OFFICIAL Jeff the killer fanart

hot take my creepypasta oc Walter > Jeff fuck you jeff (sorry).

in the summer between third and fourth grade I was doing a sculpture summer camp at a local elementary school and I was hanging out with this sixth grade boy bc I thought he was cool and I’m annoying like that . He was telling me about Jeff the killer and I started crying so hard that the teacher told me to go out of the classroom and take a breather . I also had nightmares and then couldn’t sleep so fuck you jeff the killer I thought you were gonna Jeff the kill me

I support the bald Jeff allegations

[eternallovers65]

I will be okay doing absolutely nothing and then my brain will throw- THIS IS BORING! YOU’RE BORING! YOU. ARE SO. BORING! COLORLESS, FLAVORLESS, DULL. DULL. DULL NIGHTS, DULL WEEKS, DULL MONTHS, DULL AS FUCK! SUFFOCATION BY THE WORLDS’ SOFTEST, BEIGEST PILLOW! THE TEN HOURS I SPENT WITH THAT BOY WERE MORE EXCITING. WERE MORE FASCINATING! THAN DECADES WITH YOU! OH THERE IT IS. THE HALF BLANK, HALF APOCALYPTIC LOOK. BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN TONIGHT, HUH? DO YOU WANNA LICK MY BOOTS? OR CHOP MY HANDS OFF? IS IT THE GREMLIN OR THE GOOD NURSE TONIGHT? HUH? PICKIN’ LINT OFF THE SOFA? OKAY, OKAY. LET’S WAKE THE BOY UP, AND LET’S TRY YOU. I’M THE VAMPIRE ARMAND AND MY DADDY VAMPIRE GROOMED ME INTO A LITTLE BITCH!

And then they add a little- My broOther, he tossed himself off a roOoof! My SIISTER, she buried me aliiive! My daughter, was my sister, was my throw pillow when he wouldn't look at me too kindly. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. Lestat. THE NAME! the name unuttered in our home for TWENTY THREE YEARS said OVER and OVER again until it was POUNDING in my brain like a HAMMER!!!

[murdleandmarot]

AYYYYYY STARLIGHT EXPRESS OC TIME!!!!!!

Meet Mable and Marley, the abandoned train car twins!! They live with Belle and Poppa in the freight yard :)))

More about them under the cut!!

….so I don’t know trains. I know net zero about trains. I knew I wanted to do something vague and fun with them, so I just looked up “place I live” + “abandoned train” and found a blog from a couple years ago about an abandoned train someone found in the woods!!!!

That’s why their names don’t match their title, no one knows what their original make or model was.

-Mable is definitely the more serious twin of the two, as she really wants to get back on the tracks. She hates not knowing much about herself, but has resolved herself to be the best that she can despite this

-Marley is definitely more easygoing, more cheerful, and overall more content to chill in the freight yard with Belle. He’s made peace with his mysteriousness.

-Both of them barely leave the yard, because when they do train (HA) they do it closer to home, so they get their gossip from Rusty. Marley is probably a bitttt of a Greaseball fanboy at heart, and Mable thinks she could beat GB in a race and vows to do so whenever he’s brought up