#go off make ur noise queen

[starrjournals]

the urge to just randomly post a bunch of stuff is very strong today. i think i just feel like talking a bunch. i have therapy in a bit tho so maybe that’ll make me tired.

[formulaforza]

💐 hi my wonderful birthday girl !! so i was thinking about a dress coded lewis blurb (because i was born a lewis and ts girl) where they just get drunk together and there’s teases flying and stuff. keep it as brief as u wish <333

—you can take it off

lewis hamilton x merc!reader summ. thank you stephy i love u bad <3 inspo from... ur never gonna believe it... this. hope it's up to your standards my love. 2.7k (kind of got out of hand)

You were half-asleep and half-drunk the night of the Belgium Grand Prix. The air was cool, recycled like all air seems to be in hotels, smelled of too-strong perfume and was filled with the dull noise of elevator jazz. What had begun as a before-we-go-to-bed night cap in the hotel bar with Bono had turned into a seemingly never ending addition of guests. 

Valtteri was first to join—never could pass up the opportunity to give you shit, to offer you job postings at Alfa Romeo that weren’t job postings at all—and with him around, there’s no casual drinking. You don’t try to keep up, not really, because you know you don’t stand a chance, but also because he would never let you. After all these years of being just a few months younger than him, he still calls you kiddo, still promises to call your parents when you’re out after dark, and always sends you a text after a race with some… questionable strategy decisions you’re catching flack for online. 

A brief appearance from Toto and Susie, just long enough for them to know they had no business trying to go drink for drink with Valtteri, and then they’re wishing all three of you a wonderful summer break and retreating to whatever room is considered prestige enough for Motorsport’s it-couple. 

And then there was Lewis, the last to arrive, who never called you kid, who never viewed you as one. He sits adjacent you in the red, high back leather booth and takes up a seat and a half, the toe of his shoe brushing against the side of yours, flashing you apologetic puppy dog eyes every time he bumps against yours. 

It’s somewhere between drink number five and six that Lewis gets his first, insists on a toast to the summer break that officially began… six hours and fifty-three minutes ago. For a long season this and a too-short summer break that, you lot had a mouthful of things to complain about, but a million more to be grateful for. “To not having work for a month,” Lewis proposes, clinking his glass against yours, offering a quick wink and holding it up properly over the table. 

“To no racing-talk for a few weeks,” Bono adds, clinking his glass against Lewis’. 

“To summer-fucking-break,” Valtteri chimes in, laughing at himself before the rest of you get the chance to match it. 

“To summer fucking break,” you repeat because you know there’s no better way to sum it all up. 

Unlike the other two, you slowed down when Lewis joined, wanted to give him time to catch up, to give yourself time to meet him somewhere in the middle. A glass of water and a virgin rum and coke and another water and the night is still young. 

“First summer break as the big boss, kiddo,” Valtteri remarks, and you have to squint to hear him through the alcohol-induced thickening of his accent. 

“That’s right!” Bono laughs. Your cheeks run hot at their mention of your title, of your promotion following James’ departure earlier in the season. Lewis smiles against the rim of his glass, bumps his foot against yours and doesn’t give you apologetic eyes. No, he raises his brows so slightly you think you’re the only one that notices, which is probably exactly the way he intended it to be. “Little miss queen of strategy is making the big money now, got any big travel plans?”

Lewis clears his throat, and your eyes dart over to his almost instinctively. “You’re staying in London, yeah?”

He’s right. Your summer-break plans consist of four weeks of trying to remember what it feels like to do nothing, failing at that task pathetically, and spending the rest of the time meticulously picking apart every call you’ve made all season and imagining the million and one things you could’ve done differently and their billion and two outcomes. 

You pick apart the drink napkin, tear it into tiny little pieces. “Yeah, yeah. Just staying home, catching up with friends and family,” you clarify, try not to sound as pathetic as you feel. It’s hard not to when you’re sitting next to the guy who spends his offseason snowboarding in Antarctica with his celebrity friends and his weeks off traveling to Paris fashion week for front row seats next to supermodels. Anything you say would sound pathetic to someone who makes thirty-five million a year. 

“I love it,” he nods, stares right through you and into your soul so you know he’s being genuine. “That’s awesome.”

You nod, swallow hard, purposely angle your body away from his, to the rest of the group. “What about you guys?”

Lewis laughs, soft, quiet, completely under his breath. The kind of laugh that deserves to be bottled into a jar and kept on a shelf for safe keeping. You know he’s always laughed like that, even before he knew you, but in the last few months it just feels different. Good different, like he’s laughing just for you now instead of everyone else too. 

You know you’re crazy, that he’s just Lewis being Lewis and you’re just single for the first time in a long time and also drunk. Not half drunk anymore, just drunk—even if you do think you’re meeting him in the middle, you’re not. He’s just chasing after. 

“Back home, too,” Bono concludes. “Take a breather, might head up to the country with the family.”

“You’ll take pictures, yeah?” Lewis asks, starts to pick up the pieces of your napkin tear pile and move them in front of him like a kid who isn’t patient enough to share or destructive enough to rip up his own. You watch in your peripheral, the way he fiddles with the wet paper, gets it stuck to his fingertips. You can’t laugh, so you don’t, but you want to. You think he knows you want to. 

Bono scoffs, nods while swallowing a sip of his drink—something dark, something pungent. Not what you would have pegged him for ordering, even after knowing him as long as you have. “So I can compare with the likes of you lot and,” he turns to Lewis, leers around you to emphasize the eyeline, “your million dollar vacations or,” and then the other way, back to Valtteri, “your olympic cycling events?”

Valtteri smiles, swirls his drink—gin, you think. Expensive. “Yes.”

“No chance.”

“I’ll be sure to send you a picture of me having a meltdown when I think about our side pods from the beginning of the year,” you chime in, because it’s not like they all don’t know you well enough to know exactly what you mean by spending time with friends and family at home.

 “What sidepods?” Lewis chuckles.

“Fucking exactly,” you add, mirror his mannerisms without even realizing it, all the way down to readjusting in your seat when you’ve had your laugh. 

“Could be worse,” Bono offers. “Could be last year.”

Lewis nods, holds his drink up in the direction of Valtteri across the table. “We never should have let you leave.”

He smiles, weak, lips  pursed. “I could have told you that.”

The night continues on, all drinks and laughs and yawns, occasional remarks that it’s about time I head up, followed by another round, another joke, another comment about this, that, or the other thing. 

You’ve always liked Lewis when he’s a little tipsy. He lightens up a bit, you can actually watch the stress drip from him like sweat, all the titles and the wins and the losses, they all just fall away when he’s relaxed like this. You’ve always liked him like this. Always. Before he was king of the world and before he was the prodigal son and every moment in between. 

After every joke he makes—or, after every comment he makes that he thinks could be considered a joke—you find yourself laughing, because it’s Lewis and you have a crush on him and of course you do. And, without fail, everytime you laugh, he winks, like you’re in on some inside joke even though he’s making it to the whole table, like there’s some double meaning to all of his words that are meant just for you, just for the two of you to understand. 

Somewhere in it all, it comes back to Lewis, because, well, it always does. “Is your back still bothering you?” Bono asks, and you think you already know the answer. You think you know, because you can’t remember the last time you;d seen him take careful consideration of his posture when he sits. Not even now is he sitting up straight, with his legs perfectly spread a shoulder’s width apart and his feet flat on the floor. Instead, he’s taking up more room than he needs to, all relaxed and comfortable on the leather booth bench. 

He swipes his thumb over the  condensation of his glass, looking up from the action at you, and then to Bono. “No, no. All good there.”

“All good?” Bono prods, because he was on the receiving end of a year and a half of complaints from Lewis.

Lewis nods, clicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth. “No Paracetamol in a month.”

Across the table, Valterri chimes in. “None?” 

“None for my back,” Lewis says, and the whole table laughs. You just watch him, though, because who laughs better than he does? You could wax poetic about it without a second thought, the way that his lips upturn and his cheeks round and his eyes crinkle and go soft in a way that makes you feel like you’re the funniest person in the world even when you’re not making a joke. The way that his smile is brighter than anyone’s you’ve ever seen, and the way that if you look at it for too long, you think about how it would feel to run your finger along the gap in his teeth. 

“That’s what I thought,” Valtteri mutters off the end of his laugh. “You're getting old.”

“Not too old to make half a million.”

The entire table’s heads fly to him. You gasp, an embarrassingly wide smile on your face. “You didn’t!” You almost yell, smacking his upper arm with a weak hand. 

He mocks your gasp, makes it somehow more dramatic and over the top and laughs sweetly, shrugging your hand off his arm and letting his hand fall to your leg, bumping your foot with his again. “I didn’t.” The table chuckles, you pout, and then you realize that his hand is on your thigh, that it’s staying there quite comfortably, and that you mind it less than he does. 

“Don’t be a tease,” you sigh, take a swig of your drink. Your knees are suddenly weak, like you know you wouldn’t be able to stand up if you wanted to. It’s like he can sense your change but can’t quite read it, because then he’s moving his hand back to his own lap, interlocking it with the other and resting it there.

 He nods, suddenly shy, suddenly guilty. “It’s as good as done.”

Valtteri laughs. “Yeah, I’ve heard that one before.” You hear what he says, but you’re not listening, not really. Lewis stares into you like he wants to look anywhere else—apologetic eyes and a fear he’s taken a misstep. He hasn’t, you want to tell him. You haven’t, put your hand back, please. Silently, you try to convey what shouldn’t dare be spoken. “I’ll believe it when pen is on paper.”

He snaps his eyes away from you, back to Valtteri. You don’t follow suit, stay fixed on him, on trying— hard—to get your message across. “I’m telling you, they’re announcing it after the summer break.”

“Whatever you say, Mate.”

Bono nods around a mouthful of alcohol, sets his half-empty glass down with an incidental thud. “Who’s to say we still want your geriatric ass?”

Lewis raised his interlocked hands from his lap, to the tabletop, resting his elbows on the wood grain and rattling the empty glasses when he does it. He leans in towards the center of the table, even though the only person separating him and Bono is you. “Would you tell Schumacher ‘no?’”

“What was that?” You ask, your words a convenient excuse to lean in closer, to settle into a spot that much closer to him without raising any brows. To brace for the shift, you leave your hand on his thigh with less subtly than your original movement, but it’s okay. It’s okay—only Lewis knows where your hands are, and you don’t want it to be subtle, don’t want anything to be lost in translation. “I can’t hear you over your ego,” you smile, and your fingers dance up his leg just a few, careful inches. 

He drops back into his seat, drops his hands back into his lap. Under the table, he grabs yours and laughs, but it’s stifled, stunted, not quite relaxed. “Very funny,” he humors, and moves your hand back. His stays too, though, and he crosses one leg over the other under the table. His thumb moves over the fabric of your slacks in shudder-worthy circles. 

“Someone’s gotta check you,” you smile, nod in the direction of your tablemates without ever looking away from him. “These two won’t.”

Bono scoffs.“Are you kidding?”

Your smile grows. “How do you want me to answer that, Peter?”

“Damn,” Lewis laughs so hard he coughs. “She Peter-ed you. That’s cold.”

“You’re the one comparing yourself to Michael fucking Schumacher,” Bono scolds. 

“I didn’t say that, but,”

“But!” You interject. 

“But,” Lewis laughs, threatens to continue even though all at the table know he won’t, knows that no matter how often the media and the girlfriends and the friends and the family tell him he should put himself up there with the greatest, he’ll never quite see himself in the same light. “But it’s about time I head up, I think.”

“Ah, see,” Valtteri chuckles. “Old man Hamilton can’t hang.”

“No, he can not,” Lewis remarks, pulling his phone and his hotel keycard from his pocket, setting the latter on the table and if you were feeling a little crazier than you are, you’d swear he nudges it ever so slightly out of his bubble and into yours. He types away rapidly at his phone, and you try to pay attention to the jokes Bono and Valtteri throw around, the pokes at Lewis they make, but suddenly you’re feeling like it’s a good time to head up, too. You try to shake the crazy, to leave it with your backwash in the final sip of your drink, and you do. You do.

You do, but then he’s slipping his phone back into his pocket. He’s leaving his glass just beyond his keycard and telling you to feel free to finish it. He’s saying his goodbyes while he moves out of the booth and his hotel room key is still sat on the table next to you. It stares at you—the hard, thin plastic. Stares at you in its white paper pocket with the intricate printing of the hotel label and dares you to look at him when he walks away. 

You do, begrudgingly, subtly, and his eyes are already on yours. They’re expressionless, and yet, say so fucking much. You hold the remainder of his drink in his direction before downing it in a single gulp and then he winks at you. He looks at his keycard on the table, and then to you, and then he winks, and you’re sure you’re absolutely crazy. 

You swallow. 

“Oh, fuck,” Bono says, reaches over you to grab the keycard from the table. It’s like you were zoned out and he snapped in front of your face, the way it pulls you from Lewis to the table. “He forgot his key.”

“Oh,” you squeak, and then louder, “I can take it to him.”

“No, no, It’s okay,” Bono says, and he makes you stand up to get out of the booth. “I should be heading up anyway.”

“Really,” you half-insist, trying to convince him you can handle it without letting him in on why you’re convincing him. “It’s no problem.”

Bono pulls out his wallet, flips through the pockets of it and fiddles with his bills. “Our rooms are right by each other,” he insists, tosses his share onto the table. “I got it.”

“Okay,” you nod, accept your defeat. “Yeah, I should be heading up, too, I guess.”

[ilycosy]

bottom luke! bottom luke! bottom luke—

i may be a subbottom but a gal can dream !!! (also my friend eats bottom luke up so :3)

i js know that he'd be such a 50/50 guy tbh !!! ur either getting the sweetest boy ever or the biggest brat ever (headcanons !!!!)

warnings : TLT SPOILERS , afab + amab! reader , pegging , overstim , dacryphilia , creampie , petnames (pretty boy, sweet boy, princess) , daddy & mommy kink , loving sex but also toxic , also YES i feminized luke

afab reader (mommy kink)

୨୧ — he's definitely more on the good boy spectrum with somebody that has a mommy kink, especially if they're on the softer side of it?? he's so whipped and ready to listen

୨୧ — gets super embarrassed though when it's brought up, being the best swordsman at camp he definitely struggles with the need to be dominant or prove himself capable of taking care of you (which he can !! you just like taking care of him more)

୨୧ — ok now onto the actual sex !! he's superr whiny, like im talking high pitched and having to muffle his noises in the bed type whiny. hes constantly out of breath and panting when being prepped, no matter the amount of fingers

୨୧ — he says he prefers smaller straps because they're easier to take but i think he's just a little insecure (that can be fixed w a little bit of talking)

୨୧ — weak at the mfing knees for being called a good boy— "you're such a good boy for mommy!" "good boy, now turn around." "be a good boy for me?" — he's a puddle on the floor now

୨୧ — he definitely gets jealous if he finds out you've pegged others (i said it was a lil toxic !!!) so he ends up with his own toys, mainly out of spite rather than actual concern for germs (also ,, who doesn't love custom stuff ??)

୨୧ — as an apology for the betrayal, he basically begs you to use him (his words not mine) he lowk doesn't want you to stop until he's crying and can't cum anymore. he tries to run off before aftercare and tbh won't accept it due to guilt (unless you join him , like i said , he's toxic)

— afab reader 🤝 amab reader = calling luke pretty boy

amab reader (daddy kink)

୨୧ — different from afab, i think he would lean more on the bratty side. he definitely has issues with accepting men as authority figures (look at his dad) so i think it might take some getting used to being the bottom (esp the sub)

୨୧ — he never talks about it, especially when others could potentially hear. he likes making people believe that he's the dominant one in the relationship even though he's not and both of you know it

୨୧ — actual sex !! he's still super whiny, but he probably tries to hide it a lot more. he chokes up a lot on his own spit from holding it in (dw just force his mouth open !!) but for some reason he seems to like it better that way, being forced to make noise

୨୧ — doesn't really matter how big you are, but he definitely leans more on size queen... !! he tries to hide it but he can't help but buck his hips back onto your cock when it's near

୨୧ — he will never admit it, but being called princess and being treated like he's fragile will always get him going— "cmere princess, come sit." "shh princess, you don't want people to hear do you?" "are you seriously that desperate for daddy's cock princess?" — he's WEAK !!!!

୨୧ — don't ever and i mean ever talk about your sex life in front of others, you don't even need to have slept with people for him to be clawing at your back to make sure you know you're his later !!

୨୧ — he definitely expects you to join his side w the betrayal, he can't fathom putting sm trust and allowing a masc authority figure in his life like that only for you to side w others— he begs and pleads during the hate (or love if you're going w him) fuck for you to cum in him so he has something

★ general note, while i wrote this w fem & masc readers in mind (duh) i think luke doesn't care abt genitals and relies more on terms w how he acts !!! like if you were afab but liked to be called daddy he'd be more bratty & vice versa <3

[honey-crypt]

elliott that sings his heart out while drunk asf x gn/m farmer? You know the drill :3

also saying that again, ur writing makes me giggle n kick my feet have a great day dude

a/n: i went all out if you couldn’t tell, only the best for the queen of elliott art herself!!! also attaching the drunk singing elliott art she posted for visualization reasons lol. this was a literal blast to write, i had to rewind somethin’ stupid like a hundred times to get the flow right. also follow @fuerrziah cuz her art is the best and she is da best <3 

word count: 2.1k

warnings: alcohol, drunk antics, suggestive ending

summary: you knew elliott got a bit silly and unfiltered when drunk, but you didn’t realize that the man could belt it like the best of them until you witness him sing frank sinatra's somethin’ stupid.

★ sinatra - elliott x farmer ★

The Stardrop Saloon was the heart of Pelican Town, a bar and restaurant full of laughter and chatter every night, as Gus brewed pretty cocktails and Emily bounced from room to room taking and delivering orders. To some, it was a place to unwind after a hard day or to spend time with friends while to others, it was a second home. 

Often, you frequented the saloon to treat yourself to a meal and a drink, and tonight was no different. You were too exhausted from harvesting melons, chasing after chickens, and so on to bother microwaving something, much less cooking an actual meal. With a heavy sigh, you plopped down at your usual spot and waved Emily over with a tired smile, “Hey Em.”

“(Y/N)!” the waitress greeted you with her usual sunshine demeanor, “Good to see you tonight!” she clicked her glitter pen and hovered it over her notebook, “The usual tonight?”

“You know me well,” you chuckled softly. Emily scribbled down a few lines and stated, “Should be ready in fifteen. Can I get you a drink beforehand?”

“Water with lemon,” you answered, your mouth drier than the Calico Desert from the summer heat. Emily nodded and went behind the bar, pouring you a tall glass of ice water with a lemon garnish. She returned to your table and set the drink down on the wooden coaster, “Drink up and have a good night.”

“You as well, Em,” you hummed, watching the blue haired woman disappear into the crowd of bar patrons. The walls of the saloon vibrated from the amount of noise produced in such a small space. You weren’t surprised at the amount of people present at the Stardrop Saloon; after all, it was Friday, the busiest night. At least, Emily and Gus will get some good tips. You down your water without care, as some of the liquid spilled from your lips and down your chin onto your overalls.

“Parched?” a deep but honey-like voice hummed. You looked up and locked eyes with your closest friend, Elliott, hovering next to you. Ink stained his strong calloused hands, presumably a remnant of a hours-long writing session. 

“Absolutely,” you exhaled, “It’s hotter than Hades’ taint.”

Elliott snorted, emerald eyes crinkling up while he smiled down upon you, “I can agree with you on that, my friend. I fear that if it gets any degree warmer, I must forgo my long sleeves.”

You side-eyed Eliott’s sleeved arms, as he borrowed the seat across from you, seeing the outline of toned muscle. You could take your suspenders off, too. you thought to yourself, waving a passing Emily over and requesting another water with lemon, For a beachfront Hemingway, you sure have the physique of a Greek God.

“How did your day on the farm go?” the writer asked, resting his elbows on the table. You plucked your glass off the table and pressed it against your forehead, “I shoulda taken today off, but the mayor just had to request two dozen melons for his outing with the governor,” you grumbled, annoyed at Mayor Lewis but more so at the sweltering heat that suddenly enveloped the room. 

“Rest days are always good,” the redhead let out a low hum of agreement, “Perhaps, you can do so tomorrow?”

“I doubt it. Shane ordered three dozen hot peppers,” you sent daggers to the man in question from across the room, as Shane drank his beer by Gus’s prized wooden bear statue. Elliott’s lips formed a frown, “The life of a farmer, one of never ending labor,” he laughed. 

Emily approached your table and set down another glass of water with lemon for you, “Here’s your usual,” she added before placing a plate of spaghetti by your water, “Want some parmesan?”

“What is this, the Gotoro Empire? Of course, I want some,” you jested. Emily giggled and handed you the shaker of parmesan, “Just let me know if you need more,” she then directed her attention to Elliott, “Hi Elliott! You looking for your usual tonight, too?”

“Yes, please, my dear,” he answered, adjusting his suspenders, “And a pale ale for my friend, as well.”

“Coming right!” the waitress skipped off to the back of the bar. You raised an eyebrow at Elliott while you drowned your spaghetti in heaps and heaps of parmesan, “What’s the occasion?”

“Can I not treat one of my closest friends to a nice drink after a hard day’s work?” the writer clutched his heart, “You wound me, (Y/N).”

“You’re so fucking cheesy,” you rolled your eyes with a playful twinkle in your eyes, “You know I don’t object to anything free, especially a free drink.”

Emily returned with Elliott’s usual, a pint of beer and a crab cake, as well as a pale ale for you, “Enjoy your meals!” she gave the two of you a thumbs up, “Wave me down if you need anything.”

You touched your lips to the cool glass and drank, the hot and ice sensation of alcohol coating your throat, “Shit,” you exhaled, “I needed that, thanks.”

“Of course,” your friend offered you a smile, that stupid smile you often saw on the cover of a romance novel, “How about a toast?” he held his beer up, “To friendship and a hard day’s work?”

“I’ll cheers to that,” you chuckled and clinked glasses together. As the night went on, one glass turned into two, then three, and so on. You tapped out after two glasses, as for Elliott, the Scot in him already finished four glasses of beer. His cheeks were flushed like the color of his hair, his eyes fluttering while he held back a hiccup, “Oh Yoba…” your friend tucked some loose hair behind his pierced ear, “I think… I think I went overboard.”

“You think?” you questioned. Emily returned with Elliott’s fifth glass of the night and you mouthed to her, “Cut him off for tonight,” to which she nodded in agreement. 

“You usually max out at three, is something on your mind?” your ears rang and your head throbbed from the noise of overlapping conversations around the saloon. Elliott finished his fourth glass of beer, a bit of foam smeared on the right corner of his lips, “Oh, (Y/N), I won’t bore you-” he hiccuped, “-with my woes. I’m simply a tortured artist destined to be consumed by my work.”

You grabbed a napkin and leaned down towards Elliott, “Hold still,” you whispered, as you dabbed away the foam from his lips. His face turned to a darker shade of red, “You’re so close,” he whispered back, eyes hazy. You pulled away and set the used napkin aside, “Sorry, you had foam on your face,” you mumbled, averting your gaze.

Behind you, Pam dragged herself towards the jukebox and slammed a quarter in its slot, grumbling to herself about hating the cheerful swing of the current song, “Shit,” you heard her curse, “Wrong button,” the atmosphere of the saloon abruptly switched from chaotic to sombre, as a light guitar riff filled the air. 

“Oh!” Elliott leapt to his feet, “I know,” he covered his mouth to hiccup, “I know this song!” he then approached the jukebox and leaned on it for support, swaying his index finger from side to side to the rhythm of the music. You smiled to yourself and sipped your water, only to choke on it like a Yoba damn fool the moment Elliott began to sing.

“I know I stand in line… Until you think you have the time… To spend an evening with me,” his voice was a neat match to the original singer, a light baritone, “And if we go someplace to dance… I know that there’s a chance you won’t be leaving with me…” 

Elliott unbuttoned a few notches on his sea blue dress shirt, exposing his defined collarbone and a bit of wispy chest hair, “Then afterwards we drop into a quiet place and have a drink or two…” he glazed over your face and body with a drunken smile, “And then I go and spoil it by saying somethin' stupid like I love you��” Elliott untied his ponytail, luscious locks free from their confinement and resting against his shoulders.

Your pupils dilated; no longer was the saloon filled with static chatter and the slamming of glasses, but instead everyone ogled silently at Elliott, his vocals amplified. He pushed himself off the jukebox and stumbled a bit, taking your hands in his, “I see it in your eyes, that you still despise the same old lies you heard the night before…” he touched one of his hands to your cheek and cupped it, “And though it’s just a line to you; for me, it’s true and never so right before…”

“Elliott?” your voice croaked, your blood rushing to your extremities and your heartbeat overwhelmingly rapid. He gave you a lopsided smile and continued to sing, “I practice every day to find some clever lines, to make the meaning come true…” 

No, no. He’s just singing the song. This doesn’t mean anything, you tried to reason with yourself, but it fell short, as Elliott serenaded the next few lyrics, “But then I think I’ll wait until evening gets late and I’m alone with you… The time is right, your perfume fills my head-” he leaned closer to you and inhaled your musk, “-The stars get red and, oh, the night’s so blue… And then I go and spoil it all by saying somethin' stupid like-” you could feel Elliott’s breath against the side of your neck, as he sang in your ear, “I love you…” 

You couldn’t move, you couldn’t breathe. The alcohol in your system, the summer heat, Elliott’s closeness, made your mind go foggy; you were hanging onto every single word that spilled from the redhead’s pretty little lips. Elliott passionately belted out the instrumental pause, trying his best not to laugh, earning a laugh from you, nonetheless. 

He stood back up and pulled you off your feet with him, repeating the chorus, “The time is right, your perfume fills my head,” he twirled you around, “The stars get red, and, oh, the night's so blue… And then I go and spoil it all by saying somethin' stupid like I love you…” even when intoxicated, Elliott was a true Casanova, holding onto you and swaying you side to side to the music.

“I love you…” 

You met his eyes, oh how they shined like gemstones.

“I love you…”

Your knees turned to jelly, you clung to your friend for dear life.

“I love you…”

Your surroundings vanished; no more saloon, no more patrons, just you and Elliott.

“I love you…”

You leaned closer, your chest against his.

“I love you…”

You pressed your lips against Elliott’s, savoring the aftertaste of beer and crab cakes, as the jukebox switched to the next song and the world around you returned to its original state. Elliott kissed you back, you weren’t sure if it was the alcohol in control but Yoba, did he taste divine. Oh, to have the confidence of a drunken fool at all hours of the day, you grabbed at his hair and tugged on the strands, Elliott moaning against your wet lips. 

“Hey, you two!” Pam’s voice snapped you back into reality and broke the kiss, “Get a room!” Her words garnered a few similar statements from other bar patrons.

Through glossy eyes and clouded minds, you leaned your body against Elliott’s and asked, “Well… should we?” to which he pecked you on the lips, “That’s a splendid idea,” you tossed your own wallet on the table to pay for the two of you’s meals and interlocked arms with one another, supporting one another’s uncoordinated bodies. To the door and out you went, as you and Elliott roamed the streets of Pelican Town towards his cabin, exchanging laughs and kisses. 

…

…

…

bonus:

Back in the Stardrop Saloon, Pam plopped her ass back in her seat, relieved that the farmer and Elliott were finally gone. She gestured to Gus for another beer and commented aloud, “About time those two lovebirds figured it out.”

“Indeed,” answered Gus, as he dropped Pam a foamy beer, “They make a cute couple.”

“Oh, dear!” Emily walked up to Gus with the farmer’s wallet in hand, “They left their wallet here, should I run after them?”

Gus chuckled to himself and shook his head, “Put it in lost and found, I don’t think we should disturb those two tonight. 

[ceilidho]

wait ok hear me out (pls don’t if it makes you uncomfy tho) dubcon below

coworker soap who’s following you around the warehouse when you accidentally drop something on your foot and curse “oh fuck me” under your breath and he takes that to be not only your consent but a direct command to him and he presses you right up against a shelf and shoves his hand down the front of your pants, and you want be angry and you want to tell him to get off but fuck his hands feel good and for some reason you think if you told him to “get off” he’d just take that as another direct command so all you can do is sit there and take it 🤭

oh babe don't worry, ur talking to the queen of dubcon. i am more than fine with it.

fucking in the warehouse is just too good i'm sorry, poor little reader bent over the boxes that you were hiding behind just the other day, tucked away just out of sight, but still able to hear some of the other employees coming and going, trying your best not to make too much noise even though soap doesn't care at all :\\ doesn't try to cover up his noises one bit. and when the two of you walk out later (you try to stagger your exits but johnny just barrels out with you, unconcerned), his mohawk's still all mussed up. walks around with a smug grin all afternoon, practically telling everyone what the two of you did in the warehouse with his smile alone.

[lionmythflower]

evan rosier headcanons under the cut

Twins w pandora

He has a chinchilla (its name is dusty, barty helped name it)

He's rlly good friends w remus

In a book club w lily, remus,dorcas and regulus

He's Canadian

So he kinda had a very slight American accent

Sleeps and listens to music on long car rides

Knows Canadian French

Asexual

either gay or bi

Poc

has a tattoo of "bcjr" on his neck or shoulder (barty has a matching one of "Rosie")

Would love MARINA and Florence + the Machines

Was probably more of an ABBA fan then a queen fan

lily got him into music like ABBA and Remus got him into music like David Bowie

Would also love Arctic Monkey

Would love makeup

Has those star eyeliner stamps and he absolutely rocks them

Bigender (stole this hc from someone can't remember who at that moment)

probally goes by he/they pronouns

Pandora and Evan steal each other's clothes sm that they don't know who's is who's at this point

So ppl are like " wasn't pandora wearing that the other day?" and evan will be like "idk maybe?" And vise versa

Would love Greek mythology

Has heterochromia and his eyes are blue and green so he's is looking at u like 🔵_🟢 (O_O) (pandora also has eyes like that)

"you have heterophobia in ur eyes" "...you mean heterochromia?" "no" (barty and evan)

i feel like he would be able to play like 3 instruments and would love love love music sm

Has so. Many. Ear. Piercings.

Lace and fishnet gloves

RINGS

Evan, pandora, Dorcas, regulus, and Barty all wear rings and they all js like share rings

Would love fairy tale retellings

100% read song of Achilles and sobbed

His parents are like really that mean js very strict and they don't really give him enough privacy and it's suffocating

Has sensory overloads sometimes and he will just cling to Barty or Pandora bc they both make him feel safe when it's too much

Also has panic attacks

Says things like "I wanna kms" and ppl think he's joking but he's really not

Baggy clothes

layers his clothes a lot

had like three sweatshirts/sweaters that he LOVES

eating disorder (idk which one but he definitely has one)

Constantly has a headache

Is actually rlly su!sidal but he's only told like 2 ppl (probably Pandora and reg or barty)

Either never gets sick or gets sick every month (depends on the year)

Doesn't like talking abt his problems

Will not ask for help unless he has basically given up

Is rlly smart

He's like everything smart but doesn't really care abt math or science

That one kid who's reading and not paying attention the entire class and then gets an A on every test

He's parents don't really care about grades but he does and he gets really stressed abt grades

Would 100% be that person that you wouldn't think would be a feminist and then someone makes a rude comment abt women and he would go off on them

Very pretty

Always cold. Always

Would have loved all the movies that Millie Bobby Brown is in (Enola Holmes, and Damsel mainly)

Would love ppl doing his nails (even though he's good at doing it himself)

doc martins

Would have converse and would draw on them

Has so many books (both barty and evan rant to each other abt the books they read)

Would have adhd but more of the not able to focus side

He's nail polish is almost always chipped bc they pick at it w/o even realizing he's doing it

would have so many bracelets

Hates silence but hates loud noise even more

Had earbuds in 24/7

"Look at the moon! :0" no matter what phase the moon is in (does the same thing w the sky)

Would get sooo happy when ever he was in a place where u can clearly see the stars at night bc "omg look, you can see the stars! Their so pretty!!!"

They're so energetic but also so laid back

Pretty much all or nothing for everything (emotions, activities, relationship etc.)

Really good at drawing

normally types in all lowercase so he doesn't come off as intimating

Evan and pandora probably made fun of the pure blood stereotypes so much

(I've made by point abt this hc a lot but I'mma say it again) : Evan and regulus arguing over the pronouncing of different French words bc Evan is Canadian French and Regulus is European French lol

He's an introvert you can't tell me otherwise

Was almost put into ravenclaw bc he was arguing w the sorting hat and it was like "ok valid points, ur probably a ravenclaw" and then Evan told the hat to go fuck itself and it put him in Slytherin 💀

Definition of a keyboard smash idk how to explain it

Would have loved Pinterest

wow this is really long. I'mma make one of these for Peter later :)

[cumulo-stratus]

BAU autism headcannons

(GIF NOT MINE)

(male reader)

CW: possible swearing, mentions of meltdowns and overstimulation, lemme know if theres anything else!

A/N: sry i havent rly posted in a while, i started a school recently and its been a rly big change for me so ive just been emotionally/mentally exhausted like all the time, but i dont wanna abandon u guys so i decided i would get something up, even if its not super good, thanks for y’all’s understanding <3

i think both JJ and Emily would become sort of mothers to reader

(not that they werent already mothers to the rest of the team but reader especially)

like JJ would totally have a motherly instinct for readers needs (like a sort of spider sense)

like if your ever nervous about something being too much or being overwhelming, jj would kinds know this and either make arrangements for accommodations or make sure you know you dont have to go if you want to.

and like she definitely wold put herself in charge of keeping your safe foods stashed on the jet and at the office

emily is more of a mother in a protective way than jj is

like this girl will not hesitate at all to go off on someone for maybe being disrespected to about stimming your chair while thinking

or like if you dont want to shake a police officers hand when your being introduced, and you get dirty/weird looks for it, or anyone comments on it? BOOM this girl will stare at them with so much animosity they’ll be scared of her shes so hot oml

anyways i thinks he team would be super accepting of you, especially if you joined after reid like they would already have some experience with autism

and like if you weren’t ent comfortable telling anyone other than hotch(i feel like it would be like a in ur file thing idk how the government works tho) spencer would defo be able to tell and confront u privately abt it (our respectful king <3)

and if you are comfortable telling the team, everyone would be respectful

i think like rossi/gideon would be a little clueless but like trying their hardest

like rossi would have no idea what stimming is but understands that like you move in certain ways or make certain noises when ur excited

and like with all his money he wouldnt hesitate to spoil u with any fidget toy u need/want or like a rly nice weighted blanket (its insane how expensive those things are)

and like gideon despite his profound understanding of others (hope yall got that ;)) he wouldn’ t get why sometimes you dont feel like/cant talk but totally respects it

omg garcia is our autism ally QUEEN im telling you

always has a big basket of fidgets/stim toys sitting on her desk and when your having a rough day shell leave you a little goodie in a brightly colored and decorated bag

i firmly believe that she is the queen at finding brands with clothes that not only fits your style perfectly but is also sensory friendly

i think she would definitely say that if she never ended up working in the FBI she wouldve started a clothing shop for sensory friendly clothing/accessories

spencer would totallllyyyy be your best friend when it comes to being under-stimulated

he will totally info dump on you and vice-versa

spencer (like penlope) would totally recommend clothing brands that are sensory friendly, but sock brands in particular

and everyone makes fun of you for nerding out over everything

also spencer would definitely get in the habit of grabbing your hands in his when you start to pick a t your nails and cuticles

like he didnt even realize what he was doing the first time but now he does it without thinking about it and for the team its normal

“hey,” and he would gently grab your hands to stop you from picking at them

“sorry..”

”youve nothing to be sorry for” (with that little reid smile oml rf[osifjgturhv)

and i also firmly believe that morgan is the best people to go to if your having a meltdown

he would stop you from harmfully stimming

“hey sugar, unclench those pretty little hands for me. there we go… good job kid.” he would have the softest smile and voice

and when he takes your hands to stop you from hitting yourself his grip is rly firm but gentle

but hotch is the best to go to for when your overstimulated

like he would make sure you know his office is always a quiet place you can go to with out questions

and he would secretly have a stash of like stimm toys in his office that he stole from garcia

his couch is always open to you, especially like late at night if you are really tired his fatherly instincts will kick in and force you to come to his office for a break

he would would hand you and blanket and a stim toy

”sit. sleep”

thats all he would say in his cute little stern but actually caring voice <3

[jessi4fanfics]

Will You? (Broppy Oneshot)

|this is for you❤❤ ur welcome|

Perfect, perfect, perfect!! 

Branch hit the more perfectly as the song ended and the Brozonies shouted, "BROZONE! BROZONE! BROZONE!"

Branch's ears twitched, recognizing the voice he loved most in the crowd. He turned and smiled at Poppy, who was near the front with Viva.

Poppy turned to the random troll next to her and he heard her say, "THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND!!" over the cheering and noise.

 Branch chuckled as Poppy turned back to him and waved enthusiastically. She mouthed, "Love ya!!"

 Branch gently threw her a tender kiss.

 "Branch, stop flirting." John Dory brought him back to the middle of the stage. "We have one more song before this mystery announcement of yours."

 "Yeah, what is your announcement, anyway?" Clay asked, coming over.

 "Its part of non-ya."

 "What's non-ya?" Clay asked.

 "Non-ya business," Branch shot smartly.

 "Haha, how did you not see that coming?" Bruce laughed, fistbumping Branch.

 "Okay, guys! Let's focus! One, Two, Three-" John Dory shouted.

It's like you're my mirror!...

They finished the song and once again there was screaming and shouting for an encore.

There wasn't going to be one tonight though.

Branch gulped, looking behind at John Dory for the thumbs up.

JD nodded at him, and he started up to the main microphone.

"Uhmm...ahem- hello guys, I..."

The shouting slowly stopped and gradually trips started paying attention to him.

"Hello," Branch said again, awkwardly.

"MARRY ME BRANCH!!" A girl shouted in the back.

Branch totally flushed. He gave that person a small smile in their direction. "Thanks... I love you too..."

Branch gave a deep breath and looked down at Poppy.

She was watching, full attention on him. She looked a bit concerned.

 "So, as you know, I'm very blessed to be here, singing with my brothers. But I would like to credit the person who got me here."

 Now complete silence. Even John Dory was silent.

 "This troll not only encouraged me to give my brothers another try, not only tell me how our differences are special, but also how to be a troll and happy in general. She's always been there for me, and I will always be there for her. She is proudly now the love of my life, and I want her to know now how strong this love is." He turned to Poppy in the audience. "Queen Poppy, would you come up the stage, please?"

She seemed shocked. Everyone clapped and cheered when she got up on the stage next to him.

"Branch, what are you doing?" she whispered to him.

 He just winked at her before taking her hands.

When everyone was quiet again, he took a deep inhale and began.

 "Queen Poppy, you are the light of my world, the sunshine of my heart, and the cream to my bagel," he joked, bringing up a joke she always said to him.

She giggled and so did the rest of the trolls.

 "I could not ever imagine my life without you," Branch continued, seriously. "You mean everything to me and have taught me so many amazing things. I love you and always will with an undying love. I can only hope you feel the same."

 "Branchhh, of course I do," Poppy sang sweetly.

Branch smiled again. "Poppy-- I want to be by your side for the rest of our lives. So, will you make me the happiest troll alive and..." He got down on one knee and everybody gasped.

 "...become my wife?"

 Everyone cheered again. Poppy stood there, paralyzed, hands over her mouth, tears springing in her eyes.

They stood there for a bit.

 "Poppy? You okay?" Branch asked, still in his knee.

"M..me? You want to marry...me??" was all she could get out.

"Of course, who else would I want to marry?" he teased.

But Poppy began to actually bawl. "What if-- what if I'm a terrible wife, Branch? What if I can't pull off queen duties and family alone time? What if...?"

"Poppy." Branch caressed her arm. "I didn't ask you so I could test all of the 'what-ifs?'. I asked you because you're the girl of my dreams. And I want to spend my life with you, Poppy. " When she didn't respond, he whispered, "You don't have to answer now. You can wait."

Poppy bit her lip and looked at all the people expecting a yes from her.

"Hey."

She turned back to him.

 "Don't look at them. Look at me." Branch whispered, "No, is an answer too, y'know."

 No? No?

Wait.

No?

She couldn't say no, she knew that she needed Branch as well throughout her life.

She couldn't believe that he was asking her of all people! But she should take advantage. And she--

Poppy began to cry. "Oh, yes! Branch, yes! Yes! Yes!"

 She got on her knees and jumped on him, hugging him and squeezing.

Branch laughed and gave her a sweet long kiss.

 "Aww," the crowd said.

 "Who knew, that he was going to propose tonight, of all times?" Floyd explained.

"I'm proud of him," John Dory said, grinning.

"Yep." Clay nodded

"HAIII OFFICIAL BROTHERSSS!!" Viva ran up there, giving them all hugs excitedly. "We're going to be SIBLINGGSSS."

"Oh. Great." John Dory groaned. "Here comes the drammaaa... "

I wish TBT had a proposal scene, but maybe that they will add that in the next movie. I hope this is good enough! This is from my Wattpad Broppy Oneshots book! Check out my account @/JessiDelanett❤❤❤

[minimumwagesoul]

🎩 WELCOME… TO THE A-GAYZING RIZZITAL CIRCUS! MY GAMERTAG IS CAINE, AND IM QUEER TO SHOW YOU THE MOST OHIO-SENDING, SKIBIDI EDGING, DISCORD MEWING YOU'VE EVER PHANTOM TAX, ISNT THAT, GIGA CHAD?

🫧 'THATS RIGHT SIGMA, I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOUVE GYATT IN THE KITCHEN TODAY!'

🎩 WELL, LETS NOT GRIMACE-WASTE, LETS ISHOWSPEED RIGHT INTO THE FAMILY GUY COMPILATIONS!

🎶 banban, and goku, and big chungus too, pepe, peppino, amongus, delulu!~ 🎶 gay after gay after day we fry, as the renegade pokimane makes us cry 🎶

🐰 ''gayine, is this another goofy ahh grassy pillow again? or is this a new subscriber? cause if its a new twitch donator.. we gyatt to redo this whole mlg monologue!''

📐 ''im not doing gyatt again."

🎩 ''MY MY, IT APPEARS A SUS IMPOSTER HAS JOINED THE LOBBY!"

🤡 ''HOW DO I… LEAVE THE SIN CITY WASNT MADE FOR ME''

🐰 ''just keep edging gyatt it, that ellen degeneres for all of us''

🤡 ''what the barnacles!?!? i-i-i-i put on owlhouse and now im here? who are you baby gronks? why cant i leave floptok? how do i leave minecraft?''

🎀 ''lets all kai calm-net down, everythings gyonna be okay thugshaker, weve all been through this escape the ariana grande obby, you just need to-''

🤡 ''WHAT THE VINE BOOM IS GOING ON- what?''

🎩 ''WARNING ONE, YOU CANNOT SWEAR IN GENERAL! THE GAY-MAZING RIZZITAL CIRCUMSIED IS A PLACE TO BE CLIPPED BY ALL STREAMERS, EVERYTHING CAN HAPPEN HERE! execpt for being the biggest bird ''

🤡 ''how do i.. lightskin leave?''

🎩 ''👁️👄👁️''

🎀 ''..well.. dont make a twitlong about this but-'

🐰 ''the only way you can leave is by watching phonk nair videos''

🤡🤡 ''(TIM ALLEN SHOCK NOISE)''

📐 '':mute jax.. but hes right.. welcome to the underground, how was the fall?''

🤡 ''WHAT DO YOU MEME?"

🎀''guys… dont be straight.."

🐰 ''weve been scrolling on tiktok for years.. old finger over theres been streaming the longest''

♟️''MISTER BEEASSSSSTTTT!''

🐰 ''thats why he needs to stop it.. get some help''

🤡 ''oh.. ogay, now i gyatt it! im watching dream, i should just get in the uber!''

🐰 ''whatever you say lesbian''

🎭''..my obama prisim.." :(

🐰 ''so crane, where we dropping boys?"

🎩 ''ID LIKE TO SHOW OUR BRAND NEW MOD MY ROBLOX OBBY FIRST, OFF WE GO!''

Y2FuIGFueW9uZSBoZWFyIG1lPw

🎩 ''here we have GARTEN OF BANBAN, this is where the florida men are kept, along with the FNF mods, these mods may include- GIVE HIM BACK!!!!!!!! GIVE HIM BACK!!!!!!! HES MINEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! >:((((

🤡 '' is gyatt all there rizz?''

🎩 '' OF COURSE NOT, THIS IS.. MY SPLATOON 2 LETSPLAYS!! we dont watch my OLD videos, i w(a)(m)s racist homophobic sexist abelist terrorist watchlist slay back then.

🤡 ''(huh cat)-''

🎩 '' we stay RIGHT HERE where i can keep my 70 ALTERNATIVE ACCOUNTS!! YOULL NEVER KNOW MY MAIN."

🌙 '' IVE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT- ''

🎩 ''DONT MAKE ME PISS ON YOU AGAIN''

🤡 ''wait whats th- HHRUEEGGEYYAHHAHAUHASGSGUGDS :vomits vomits vomits vomits vomits vomits: ''

🎩 '' WOAH!!!!!! SHES LITERALLY DOING THE GWIDDY!''

🫧 ''me too!! watch me boss!!!!!!!"

🎩 "Stop."

🤡 ''Was that an skibidi toilet I saw out there? Is gyatt a way get a weave?"

🐰 '' What toiwet? If there was a way to not be a noob vs pro im pretty sure we'd all be hackers by now. "

📐''Yeah, what are you waffling about?"

🎩'' I ASS(ure) YOU, THERE RIZZ NO EASTER BUNNY, THERE IS NO FEETFAIRY, AND THIS RIZZ NO QUEEN OF ENGLAND!''

🤡''YOUR MOM HITS IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A CHROMEBOOK CHARGER-''

🎩 '' THATS WHY YOU SOUND LIKE THE ROBLOX COIL SOUND BITCH BOI- how about we talk about roblox doors? Whats your gamer tag?''

🤡 ''my @ is… uh.. OH FUCK. ALL I CAN POST IS ☻/ This is bob. Copy and paste him so he can take over youtube. /▌ /\ ''

🎩 ''FORGOT PASSWORD? SIGN IN USING EMAIL ADDRESS.. OR MAKE A NEW ACCOUNT! ENTER NEW NAME AND NEW PASSWORD''

🤡 ''GOD FUCKING DAMMIT KRIS WHERE THE HELL ARE WE''

🎩''dont you worry your 0% rizz, your new tumblr url can be ANYTHING! Heweby acknowwedging that youw chosen name and ow names may nowt bweach the Digitaw Ciwcus usew wicense agreement stating that youw name may nowt incwude objectionabwe content. Objectionabwe content incwudes but is nowt wimited to: Sexuawwy expwicit matewiaws, obscene, defamato-wy, wibewous, swande-wous, vio-went, and ow un-wawfuw content ow pwofanity. ''

🤡'' erm… actually.. randomly generate it please. ''

🎩 ''lets see… Who is Pomni - for 300?'' (jeopardy)

🤡 ''(womp.)

🎩 ''you're right, marketable, lets try gyatt again! what do you think of XDDCC? ''

🤡 '' BIYTCH IS YOU BLIND-''

🎩 '' badonkers. dobonhonkeros. massive doboonkabhankoloos. big ol' tonhongerekoogers!!! we should start a sidequest with our new donator, XDDCC!!! ''

🐰 ''i said that at 3:20 in the original pilot''

🎩 ''YYYOUUUUUU! SOILDJABOY OFF IN IT, WATCH ME CRANK IT WATCH ME ROLL, WATCH ME CRANK THAT SOULJA BOY THEN SUPERMAN THAT, NOW WATCH ME YUUU-''

🫧'' (plays kevin mcloyed)''

🎩'' ########### ## ####### ### ### # # ##### ''

🤡 ''does anybody in this thread play minecraft-''

🎩 '' SINCE YOUR ACCOUNT IS 12 MINUTES OLD, were gonna make this simple for your ipad baby ass, a simple oklahomo powered adventure to warm you up to the pizza tower. ''

📐 ''NO!! I DONT WANT TO PLAY WII SPORTS… GRRR… eyes glow red''

🎩'' dont worry zooble/halfdemon/princess/rich/gamer/wolf/donttouchmytail/crush;secret!!! ill make it so you can play it on console AND pc! ''

aXRzIHNvIGNvbGQ

🎩 '' hello everybody my name is markiplier and welcome to gather the number lore! thats right! here in the rainbow friends playplace will be rizzed up with swifties, you gotta catch em- (COPYRIGHT)''

🫧 ''what are swifties?''

🎩 ''thanks for the ask, anon! theyre mid-''

🫧''can it run bad apple''

🎩 ''..they-''

🫧''..can it play megalovani----''

🎩'' Swifties are part of the number lore that vore everything and draw anything they rizz into! Why do these sans fangirls do this? How do you block them? thats for me to know and for you to find out.''

🤡''…what… did any of gyatt mean?''

🎀 ''oh, hes just ai generating mr beast videos, theyre content farm so the ipad babies dont go insane.''

📐''speak for yourself motherfucker, if anyone needs me im smoking a fat blunt- OH GOD OH FUCK- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa….''

🐰''oh no, they killed zooble.. you bastards.. anyway you lesbians wanna play touhou?''

🎀'' (pheonix wright) HOLD IT!! we should check on KSI-FMO. I'm pretty sure he'd like to challange XDDCC to a boxing match!''

♟️''THERES 104 DAYS IN SUMMER VACATION-''

🎀'' You wanna come with us to *check on boykisser kaufmonster, how should i feel?''

♟️''Not rizzly. I think Kevin macleoufmos got packed by packgod. Last time I spoke with him, he was watching Lankybox for over 6 hours."

🤡''whose lankybox?''

♟️''No."

🎭''can someone save my goth genderfriend :(''

🤡 '' Well if you wont tell me, then I'll just ask him. And then I'll stop watching dream and watch tubbo instead!"

🐰 ''Heh. She still thinks dream isnt a pedo."

🎀 ''why are you looking at me like that? …. fa-"

🐰 ''im fine with doing (yourmom) as long as I get to see vanossgaming gmod prophunt funny moments- OW. okay ive had enough of these spambots. You, me, and XDDCC will go to the gastation. Sexualized ribbons and tumblr sexyman together will go block all the swifties.

🎀 ''..is shipping them a good idea?"

🐰 ''of course i do, im also a tumblr sexyman, whats gonna happen? i get shipped next? (proweler meme)''

🎭 ''…my comedy cock is broken again.''

♟️''okay. wait WHAT. ''

aW0gaHVuZ3J5

🎀''Welcome to the internet, have a look around, anything skibidi or phantum tax can be found. We gyatt maximum sigma grindset, but- WAIT XDDCC NO DONT LOOK UP YOUR OWN NAME!- '

🤡 ''I dont understand.. why go to the goofy ahh meepcity parties instead of trying to exit terraria?''

🎀''Well, we usually do, when we first make an account. But after awhile you start to realize that shiny hunting for the same pokemon or trying to get your favorite animal crossing villager to visit your island will make you become marketable and youll succumb to the pibby glitch."

🐰''Thank goodness this is all just an SMP, right XDCC?''

🤡''……………………… Why are we here again? Who am i, who am i? What are you even saying?''

🎀''We're gyetting one of the boys at 3 am." … Huh. Maybe he's off-stream mining? Hope he's not in creative.

🐰''Dont worry raggedy andy, Im gonna be so racist itll open the door."

🎀 ''JAX NO!!! YOU SHOULDNT BE RACIST TO DOOR!!!!''

🐰''Okay i wont be racist… JUST KIDDING, IM ULTRA RACIST NOW. You're not afraid of gay people, are you?"

🎀''JAXX!!!!!!!!! THATS LITERALLY MY ONLY FEAR (homophobic) WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS…!!!"

🐰''(minecraft open door) im gonna have to take my balls back from you kaufy. Papyrus.. im going to grillbys, do you want anything?"

🎀 ''..OH….. KAUFMO985 BECAME PART OF THE PIBBY GLITCH. INSERT SEINFIELD THEME."

tobecontinued.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

blood on your altar

Fandom: DC Comics, Titans (fab five), Aquafam, Arrowfam

Summary: Roy Harper is haunted by a strange sight he witnessed while on holiday by the seaside.

Chapters: 4/?

Characters: Roy Harper, Garth, Oliver Queen, Hal Jordan, Dinah Lance

Relationships: Roy Harper/Garth

Additional Tags: Cannibal Mermaid AU, Sacrifice, Cannibalism as a Metaphor, Secrets, Angst, Romance, Horror, 1950’s AU

Chapter Four: Death at the Eclipse

Being followed at nighttime is a strange feeling. I remember Ollie told me something about the true nature of a man coming out when his life is on the line, and I thought it was war talk. Shuffling through the sand at a steady pace kept me from panicking as I listened to the sound of someone’s feet trudging behind me. I didn’t turn but I should have… Because the second I felt his breath on the back of my neck and smelled the stench of liquor and cigar smoke on him, it was too late. I felt something strike me in the back of my head, and I recalled Ollie’s words clearly. “When a man comes across a situation that is undoubtedly life or death, there’s nothing to separate him from an animal… And at that moment… He becomes a predator or he dies like prey,” Ollie’s words echoed in my head while my ears rang like a bell. I was out of it, knocked on my back with a man on top of me, punching me. I couldn’t hear him speak, but I had time to look when he stopped attacking me to see the glint of a blade. I blocked his attempt to stab me with my forearm. I went wide-eyed, staring into the eyes of my attacker. The man from the ice cream parlor. I struggled to get the upper hand, but he’d knocked me so hard in the back of my head. 

I felt his weight fly off of me, and I heard a crunch and squelching noise. Once my ears stopped ringing, and I regained my senses, I tilted my head back in the sand, staring at the blood on the rock ahead of me. Then my eyes focused on my boy creature in full creature form. His entire body covered in dark abalone shells glistened in the moonlit showers. His teeth were sharp and white, and his sharp, scaly claws tore the limp mess of a man’s head from his body. I sat with my legs crossed in the wet sand, staring at him. “Ur ye awrite?” the boy creature asked. I couldn’t speak. He cleared his throat, looking at me with his bright amethyst eyes. “Are you okay?” His American accent was exaggerated and dragged out but I understood him much better. 

“Are you going to eat me next?” I asked. 

“Of course not, dafty… You didn’t hurt anyone,” he answered. He lugged the limp thing on his shoulders carrying what remained of the head with one hand, and walked through a rock mass toward a closed-off beach area. I clutched my head and grabbed my satchel, following him dizzily. “You didn’t tell anyone you saw me… I listened for a tale, and you didn’t speak. You didn’t utter a word about me. Why?” 

“I don’t know. I was curious about you,” I confessed. 

“You made pictures of me. Will you make more?” he asked. He was talkative for a creature. We reached a half-submerged cave and he threw the body down ripping the man’s limbs from his body. “Does this make ya ill? I could eat him later.” I shook my head. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have drawn you that way—.” 

“Why not? Do you not like your drawing?” he asked innocently. 

“I—. Well—.” I stammered before taking a deep breath. “I draw what I like to look at. I never draw anything that I don’t like.” He smiled. 

“I liked it too. You made me look special… I’ve never talked to a human before. I have so many questions,” he replied. He could’ve yammered on forever. He seemed lonesome. I wondered if there were others like him. But I figured it’d be better to let the person who could tear men limb from limb ask the questions. I nodded. “Do your parts change?” 

“Huh?” I asked. I watched as he set the arms aside and wiped his mouth. Holding eye contact, he took a fully human form and started touching himself. I felt my face go red hot as I turned away. “Is it not human enough?” I swallowed hard, trying not to let it arouse something in me. 

“It’s human, alright,” I answered. He rinsed his hand in the water and touched my head where I’d been struck. The pain subsided, but I felt so dizzy that I fell forward on him. He held me. 

“I didn’t know if it’d work on ya. Does it hurt still?” he questioned as he smelled me. I thought it was strange, but he didn’t seem like an immediate threat to me. 

With my forehead pressed against his shoulder, I glanced down at his lower body, and I found myself staring. “Are than any others like you?” I asked. 

“Not like me… But there are others,” he answered, “It’s my eyes… There’s a superstition. I don’t know much about it, but people who have my eye color are usually killed at birth… I’ve been alone for most of my life, but I’ve had contact with others. They’re like a family to me. I come here to hunt. I need things that they don’t. That’s why I eat humans. I won’t eat you, though. You make me look nice in pictures… Why do you cover yourself with so many things?” 

“It’s cultural. Most humans prefer we cover most of our bodies. Why did you hide when I saw you that night?” I asked. 

“I thought you’d want to hurt me… Humans don’t like it when people aren’t like them. I wasn’t going to hurt you,” he mumbled. He wrung his soft human hands and frowned. 

“I don’t want to hurt you. I want to—. What I want to do doesn’t matter,” I paused to gather my thoughts and say something more appropriate. “What’s your name?”

“Garth,” he answered. 

“That’s a good name,” I smiled. He removed the man’s sleeve as he bit into a bicep. He went half-creature as he ate, humming and groaning with pleasure. He ate until he picked the man’s flesh clean from his bones. His body alternated between varying degrees of human and inhuman. He wiped the corner of his mouth with his thumb. 

“What do you want to do?” Garth questioned without looking at me. He kept eating, and I didn’t mind. I knew I should’ve, but I was so intrigued with him that I didn’t care. 

I silently stared at him until he looked at me. “Will I see you again after this?” I asked. 

He nodded, still focused on cannibalizing the ice cream parlor bigot. Garth paused as if he’d remembered something important and grabbed my face. I tensed, wondering if it’d be my end, but he rubbed the bridge of my nose with his thumbs and touched my lip with his bloody fingers. The pain in my face subsided, and he returned to his meal. “Wash your face… No one will know he hurt you. I fixed your face. It’s pretty again,” Garth reassured me. Pretty? Ha. I grabbed his wrist, stopping him for a moment. His eyes went from bright amethyst to their indigo color, and I wished I could’ve kissed him. I wanted to, but I didn’t dare. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen,” I whispered. He grinned at me, studying my features. 

“If you come back, I’ll take you to see the beautiful place. It’s going to rain again, so I can’t take you today. Your human skin is too fragile. The lightning could hurt you. After I finish eating, you should go home,” Garth suggested, “And you never told me your name… But I’ve heard it. Roy, isn’t it?” 

“Mhm. Roy Harper,” I replied as I washed the blood off my face. 

When I dried my face, Garth grinned at me. “You’re not afraid of me. Will you bring me a picture soon?” Garth asked. He pushed the body into the deeper, murkier part of the water and washed his hands and face. That’s when he leaned forward and kissed me. I pulled away. My thoughts raced as I tried to grasp at something sensible. “Sorry, I thought—.” I reciprocated before he could finish his sentence. I felt him creeping across every inch of my spirit, and I believe I did the same to him. Like an eclipse, for a moment we were perfectly aligned, sharing the same thoughts and feelings. My heart raced as I reached for his face, soft and fleshy like a human’s. Our lips captured each other, and I could taste blood. It made my ears ring and my whole body tingled, raising goosebumps from my neck and down my arms and back. How could I turn back? How could I stop myself from falling in love? I couldn’t be bothered with my conscience. I wanted him, body and soul. He had me. Everything I was… I was willing to give. If he wouldn’t eat me, I’d let him devour me. Heart and mind. Mind and all.

[oswaldsleftbicep]

Hey,how are you? I know that you're not very atm but i saw that you had 0 asks so I thought I'd leave one here for when you come back :)

I'd like to know your headcanons about them boys in a human high school, since we already got the college hcs

anyways, take ur time and i hope you will feel better <3

the boys as high schoolers

omg this was so fun to think about lol also you're so sweet :,) i am doing a lot better, just trying to push myself back into getting my life back together again

genre: crack, unintentional angst

cw: american high school, language, mention of sex

Lucia

❧ deffo in the popular crowd, the one with the preppy boys and girls who are also all involved in a sport, throughout all four years of high school

❧ he gave off the vibes that he would be kinda stuck up and would laugh at you behind your back, but he was actually one of the nice ones, albeit just a tad bit insensitive

❧ played a sport, maybe something like lacrosse or basketball, and was the captain of his team in his last year of high school. he'd also been on the team since he was a freshman, spiking his popularity immensely

❧ his favorite class was probably chemistry, because of the experiments, or gym, because it was easy

❧ his language arts teacher loathed him because he just could not understand any of the books they assigned. he would always take things too literally or say "it's not that deep, bro" to the teacher's face lmao

❧ he and his friends would sit to the side of the class, never up front but not quite in the very back, and this mf would always be making some kind of noise, either tapping his pencil or running his mouth-- at least he was kinda funny

❧ he was on grade level for most of his classes, except for being in honors sciences beginning his second year. he managed to graduate with a 3.1 gpa!!

❧ went to all the dances and formals, and he won prom king his senior year, although the girl he went with wasn't even nominated for prom queen awkward

❧ he honestly had one of the biggest glow ups, but like personality wise. when he was a freshman he was obnoxious and running through the halls and bothering people with rude jokes, but then he got diagnosed with adhd, got meds, and learned a bunch of coping strategies that calmed him down and made him a better student and friend

❧ picked on levy in the halls every chance he took, and if it weren't for the teachers, he would've picked on him some more in the classes they shared. he would've done the same with mefy, but his youngest brother always seemed to evade him somehow

❧ had a petty rivalry with mikael, and was pretty good friends with ricardo in that they always got into shenanigans together

Levy

❧ straight-a student and valedictorian the year he graduated :,) you bet your ass lucia was cheering so loud for him during his speech

❧ volunteered in the school library all four years, but especially so in his senior year when he had a bunch of free periods. anytime he had free time or it was study hall, he'd go to the library

❧ valued comfort in terms of his outfits but he also wanted to look put together, so he'd always be in a sweater or nice shirt with dark jeans or casual dress pants

❧ had a small group of friends that consisted of people he'd have multiple classes with or was in clubs with, but he also spent a decent amount of time with mefy and kaim

❧ speaking of clubs, he was in the book club all four years of high school as well as participating in the debate club. he was also in several honors societies and acted as a peer tutor, and you bet he was decorated as hell during graduation

❧ wanted so bad for his school to have an equestrian team, which they didn't because what kind of school has that, so he joined a local team instead, which got a few snobby popular kids to tease him for being "a horse girl"

❧ he liked all of his classes, although is favorites were history and english; his least favorite was gym, hands down. he would always be doing the bare minimum and coming up with excuses to get out of the more intense sports

❧ didn't go to any of the typical high school events like dances or games because he thought he was above all that, but he was really just too anxious

❧ he played an instrument in his first year of high school, something he carried over from middle school, but he just got too busy for it and it was no longer a priority. he either played viola or some shit like the oboe

❧ his teachers at the start of every year would see his last name and get filled with dread like "oh no not another one" but they then visibly relaxed when they realized he wasn't anything like lucia

❧ was in a lot of above grade level classes, which eventually led him to be in the same class as lucia a few times. levy thought it was so embarrassing and tried to sit as far away from lucia and his friends as possible. lucia has tried to get levy to do his homework before lol

Mefy

❧ he was an enigma to like ninety five percent of the school; he barely associated with anyone, always stuck to himself, wouldn't linger in one place for very long, and no one could find him during free time

❧ this unfortunately led him to be labeled as the "school shooter kid," which never bothered him but his brothers would be livid at hearing anyone call their baby brother that awful thing

❧ he had like two close friends and spent a lot of time with levy, and he was also close with the psychology/sociology teacher, whom he would eat lunch with every day for his last two years of high school. he liked that they never seemed to mind his deep, somewhat worrying questions about life and the human psyche

❧ his first year he stuck with levy in the cafeteria for lunch, then his second year he'd steal lucia's student id to eat outside in the senior courtyard

❧ he was a brilliant student, but he hardly ever participated in class and didn't put in more effort than he needed to which lowkey brought his grades lower than they could have been. his phych/soc teacher was the only one who noticed this and talked to him about it, which earned them his respect

❧ his favorite classes were psychology, sociology, and computer science, in that order. he was okay with the other classes, but refused to take any that would draw attention to himself, like theater or music

❧ he faked a doctors note that got him out of gym and levy was so salty about it. so all he ended up doing for that semester was walking laps lmao

❧ he joined the debate club with levy, but solely for the purpose of arguing with people and being able to get under their skin and gaslight them without serious repercussion. the advisor for the club knew what was up but genuinely did not care enough to stop him

❧ for his foreign language credit, he probably took something less popular like german or latin, and he'll just be saying shit in that language to lucia while levy snickers in the background

❧ he came up with the senior prank for his class and everyone loved it and immediately had a change of heart for him like, "man maybe this kid wasn't so bad." the prank ended up being a little too much for the principal, who demanded to know whose idea it was, but nobody snitched

❧ ...which made him feel just a little bit bad for hacking the school's grade system and changing everyone's grades to a d it got fixed don't worry

Oswald

❧ the american football coach tried so hard to get him on the team, but oswald didn't trust himself to go through with it because of his anger issues. he also didn't know if he could keep his grades up enough to stay on the team

❧ also kind of a loner, but in that he didn't really have anyone who he was close with at all. he hung out with noel the most, and lucia and kaim every so often, but for the most part he walked the halls alone

❧ he was a part time babysitter all four years of high school, and all four years he worked for kurt's family, and he brought that kid to watch every football game the school had

❧ he was a below average student, graduated with a 2.8 and had to retake algebra 1 his freshman year. he had to get a tutor for pretty much every general subject, especially for language arts his handwriting and essay skills are atrocious

❧ the one subject he never had to get help in though was science. earth and space, biology, chemistry, somehow even physics he always excelled in. physics was a bit of a struggle for him because of how much math is in it, but at the time kurt really wanted to be an astronaut and oswald was willing to learn physics to help him achieve that goal

❧ by the time oswald graduated, kurt no longer wanted to be an astronaut :,) rip

❧ he found out about the votech program and enrolled his junior year. he joined the agriculture one and fell in love with it, setting up an easy career path for him to go on as soon as he graduated

❧ he joined the environmental club starting his second year and managed to convince the principal to start a student garden! oswald spent pretty much all of his free time taking care of the garden, making sure it was watered and weeded

❧ he was so close to being able to join the science national honors society, but his gpa was just under the minimum requirement :(

❧ which meant that he didn't have any chords or anything during graduation which is nothing to be ashamed of, but he was kinda hard on himself about the snhs thing, so little eight year old kurt made him an honor chord by messily finger crocheting a row of chain stitches out of neon green yarn :,)

❧ he wore it with pride and anyone who'd ask about it would swoon at the answer, "my kid brother made it for me"

❧ he was low-key a heart throb in his school, but solely for his tall, dark, and handsome appearance. anyone who tried to ask him out or confess immediately found out that he's kinda clueless and not at all the bad boy they thought he was lmao

Kaim

❧ he was absolutely that mf who wore a suit to school every day. he'd go "casual" on friday by wearing a cashmere sweater and some dress pants

❧ his mom is friends with the brothers' mom, so he was close with all of them growing up but more so because his mom told him to "look out for them," knowing he was the only one out of all of them who had any real sense

❧ he was lowkey the therapist friend but on a more crisis intervention scale than a "do u need to vent" scale. he called lucia out several times for his shenanigans, kept mefy from becoming a bully, and talked oswald down from a lot of near spirals

❧ his favorite class was consistently language arts and he could write one persuasive ass essay, which helped him a lot in history, too. his least favorite class he had to take was computer science; no matter what he did, he just could not get his code to work and it nearly cost him his flawless gpa lmao

❧ speaking of gpa, he maintained honor roll throughout the entirety of high school, and graduated with a 4.0. he was above grade level in all his classes but refused to take ap classes, claiming they were a waste of time and money they are

❧ he favored his electives a lot more than his general classes. he low-key thrived in home economics, and the teacher convinced him to take the culinary class starting his junior year and got him enrolled in the field experience for culinary arts in his senior year

❧ he absolutely was an orchestra kid and had been playing the cello since fourth grade, earning him first chair by the time he was a junior. he also played the piano and helped out with school musicals and talent shows by playing the piano for songs if it required live music

❧ he earned a decent amount of chords for graduation: honors society for language arts, culinary club, orchestra, honor roll. he now uses them to tie his curtains back lmao

❧ everyone low-key dreaded being partnered up with him for projects, only because he's such a perfectionist and would make damn sure everyone did their part of the project and did it correctly

❧ absolute teacher's pet though, all of them loved how diligent and intelligent he was, making him the high school version of a teacher's assistant

❧ my school didn't have this, but he would absolutely have been hall monitor. he was, however, almost elected student body president despite not running, his class just nominated him lol

❧ much to his dismay, he was elected vice president of the student body and was put in charge of organizing student events. planning prom almost gave him grey hairs at the ripe age of seventeen

Mikael

❧ he didn't really fit in with a particular crowd, so i guess you could call him a wallflower in that sense? he was kinda a loner, but didn't give off the typical "loner" vibes

❧ very quiet, always got his work done on time, and always did his work exceptionally well, which made him a straight-a student as well

❧ he very well could have been the top of his class, but his lack of participation in class discussions and such knocked his grades down slightly. he always preferred to work alone, hated presentations, and never elaborated his verbal responses

❧ the one exception to him working alone was if noel was in his class; he knew that noel would be reliable and would just want to get the assignment over, and he wouldn't talk his ear off

❧ some of his teachers understood that he just wasn't comfortable and made an exception or didn't deduct points because they saw how eloquent his written responses were, but there's always those few teachers that just don't care lol

❧ he graduated with a 3.9 unweighted gpa, and he took several honors and even a few ap classes on top of being in science national honors society and national art honor society twin; he's a smart cookie

❧ his favorite classes were astronomy and art, he loathed gym and, despite him being good at math, he just could not understand geometry. he chose latin as his world language, although i could also see him taking greek if his school offered it

❧ he took ap psychology and ap world history, amongst a few others, and the exams annihilated him; he would have been elated to get a 3, but was beyond shocked when he saw he got a 4 on all of them

❧ his immense knowledge about the christian religion and the bible impressed the school's christian athlete leader did y'all's school have one of those?? and she tried to recruit him thinking he'd be perfect for the group, but he looked at her with the most perplexed look ever and responded, "i'm neither christian nor an athlete, why are you asking me this??"

❧ she got super embarrassed and refused to look at him when he took her sat prep class the next semester lmao

❧ he ate his lunch consistently in the atrium for the first three years of high school, and then in the senior courtyard next to the little fountain his last year, always alone though

❧ he was in choir for the first year of high school, something he'd done since elementary school, but he quit after seeing how petty everyone was to each other

❧ he'd hated lucia since he met him in the third grade, and on graduation day, mikael told lucia that he was genuinely surprised to see him graduate lmao

Ricardo

❧ definitely a student athlete, his first year was spent in basketball and his last three years were in american football, and he definitely got benched a few times

❧ he actually almost got kicked off the team in his sophomore year for bringing a fucking knife to school-- at least he was smart enough to not bring his gun

❧ he's a decently smart guy, but he just didn't put in the effort for his classes-- he did just enough to stay on his team. he was practically on a first name basis with his guidance counselor from how many visits they'd have between his grades and since the knife incident

❧ that being said, his grades never saw above a 3.0, in fact he averaged about a 2.6 all of high school. he also didn't bother to take the sat because he genuinely didn't think he'd go to college until the last semester of his senior year when he got a surprise scholarship for his athleticism

❧ his favorite class was gym, he always made sure to take a physical education class once a year. he also secretly really enjoyed the home economics class he put off until his last semester of senior year. the teacher was this older lady, and they grew pretty close and he'd even eat lunch with her, spending his free period and study hall in her classroom under the excuse that he needed more help on a certain topic. he gave her his jersey at the end of the year and she made sure to get a photo with him on graduation day :,)

❧ definitely infamous in his school for being a massive flirt and has definitely hooked up with several cheerleaders. it's funny cuz he always scoffed at what you learn in health class about sti's and safe sex, until he caught mono from someone in the theater class lmao

❧ i'm sorry but he was low-key very disrespectful to his teachers, at least for the first half of high school. like he'd roll his eyes at them, leave a mess, be on his phone all of class

❧ he was also a pain to be partnered up with for a project; if you got stuck with him, you bet your ass you'd be doing all the work. anything he said he'd do would be half assed, and you better hope you had a teacher who didn't grade collectively

❧ the academic classes he'd pay the most attention to were history and government, especially in terms of war periods and diplomacy. he lowkey loved playing devil's advocate in these classes which pissed off everyone else lmao

❧ his freshman year he was definitely the kid who wore those god awful graffiti-style backpacks with a speaker inside them, blasting the worst trash rap you ever heard

❧ another thing that almost got him kicked off the team, he got caught bullying a freshman in his junior year. he had to have a meeting with the kid's parents and apologize formally to the kid, and he got a semester's worth of detention and suspended from his sport for a month

❧ he shaped up a lot after that, and he ended up becoming one of the team's star players, definitely not the mvp or the captain, but he was valued for being a machine on the field, pure manpower and determination

❧ was pretty close friends with lucia, and although they drifted apart in their junior year a bit, they got close again come senior year and talked about going to the same college together after ricardo found out about his scholarship

❧ brought an air horn to the graduation ceremony and almost didn't get to walk the stage lmao

Noel

❧ won the superlative for being the quietest in his class lol; it got to the point where his teachers wouldn't cold call him for discussions knowing they'd get one word responses that wouldn't contribute anything at all

❧ he was always seen alone, or with either mikael or oswald, never anyone else. with mikael, they'd just eat together every once in a while, or they'd work on a project together. with oswald, they were just the oddest duo to see: a behemoth of a man and a small guy with a killer resting bitch face

❧ he really enjoyed biology as a class and elected to take anatomy, but promptly dropped it when he learned what they'd be dissecting. instead, he switched to forensic science and had a little too much fun making his crime scene diorama

❧ this poor kid could barely make it through his math classes. he had to be tutored in math all through high school and oswald became his study buddy aw

❧ the same thing applied with his language arts class: he just kept falling behind, his written grammar skills were awful, as was his handwriting. between this and the fact that he hardly spoke, his teacher just assumed that he didn't speak the school's primary language and had the bright idea of putting him in an "x for speakers of other languages" class lmaoo

❧ he was evaluated and it turned out that he, in fact, could understand the primary language, he's just very silent and is bad at grammar. so, he was moved again to a lower language arts class

❧ he didn't particularly hate any of his classes, he just knew he had to suck it up and do them. he'd try his hardest, sure, but sometimes he'd just do the minimum effort required if he really wasn't feeling it

❧ he joined the environmental club with oswald and helped him with the gardens. he also tried out the culinary club, but upon promptly burning his first dish to ashes, determined that maybe it wasn't for him lol

❧ so aside from the environmental club and tutoring, he didn't really have any extracurriculars. he was very much a "i'm here to learn and go home" type of guy

❧ he graduated with a 2.8 gpa, and hated the grad cap lmao he absolutely wore his casual clothes under his gown, which he took off almost immediately after the ceremony was over

Lucas

❧ very well known through the whole school, he was regarded as a heartthrob and resident pretty boy, but for some reason he didn't seem to have very many friends, and no one really seemed to know much about him

❧ he was as active as possible in school life; he joined the yearbook committee in his first year and started taking journalism classes in his junior year, he also one of the only ones to pay attention to student board elections

❧ he was very big on the arts classes that his school offered, especially photography, which in turn helped out a lot for the yearbook. he also took a ceramics class, and the art teachers loved him so much that they gave him his own senior studio space in his sophomore year

❧ he actually did really well in all of his classes, he's a quick learner and had a phenomenal memory. the one thing he sucked at was note taking. so when he took a history class that required cornell notes?? bye, that was the lowest grade he's ever gotten

❧ mans was the king of extracurriculars, on top of the yearbook committee he was in the gsa and best buddies, and he scored national art honors society

❧ he hung around a different friend group every day, so he knew everyone's beef all the time, which easily made him the most powerful man in the school in a way. he never used it for bad, but it would give him topic ideas for the school newspaper

❧ failed the pacer test so bad in his freshman year that half the people in his class that had crushes on him got the ick and stopped lmao

❧ he tried doing theater in his sophomore year, but everyone was so in each other's business that he stopped after that one year; he landed a spot in the musical though and killed it

❧ the psychology/sociology and language arts teachers always got a kick talking to him because of the odd shit that comes out of this guys mouth; he'd pose the most thought provoking and lowkey existential questions about the content material that had the teachers on a tangent for the rest of class. his classmates would either love him or hate him for this, grateful to have an easy rest of class or freaking out at the question too

❧ he graduated with a 3.6 gpa, and he had several chords from his extracurriculars. he didn't really want to wear them, not finding them important or that big of a deal, but his art teachers convinced him that he worked hard for them

❧ the yearbooks all four years of his high school career were the best the school had seen that their sales went up. after he graduated, they dipped in quality and the yearbook committee advisor was so sad lol

[tennessoui]

hi i love literally everything you write and i was just OBSESSED with the democratic fic (and couples counseling but like that's a WHOLE other discussion) like just IMAGINE Obi-Wan floundering while trying not to upset luke and leia

Obi-Wan: hello sorry little weird children i must borrow your father tomorrow for an evil---AH, righteous excursion in order to fulfill my plans of converting him

Luke, absolutely distraught: but tomorrow's bantha day

Obi-Wan, confused: ...bantha day?

Leia, sagely: daddy makes flatcakes and we watch the documentary. he said you'd join us.

Obi-Wan, sweating: ........did he...?

Luke, about to cry: you don't want to watch bantha geographic with us?

and that's how Obi-Wan gets roped in to cancelling his plans with a ruling queen regarding a future blockade because "the kids need me more srry. love, ur fave darth lord" and instead he makes ANAKIN and the kids flatcakes because he's gotta show off he's Husband MaterialTM but he can't cook for shit so he almost burns down the kitchen and they have to order out and---

kit it's killing me im clawing at the walls like an animal

(plug for the poll about whether or not padmé and anakin got together and had the twins)

HONESTLY omg obi-wan having to cater to the twins because he realizes anakin's loyalty is not 100% to palpatine but 1000000% to his kids so to get him to Fall would mean making the kids like him is literally a gold mine tbh

funny if the twins are ~10 (kenobi show age) and completely skeptical of obi-wan and also very critical of him being "just an older kid" (which makes anakin blush and stammer, and sets obi-wan back ten steps)

funny as well though if they're babies and obi-wan comms dooku when he's left alone with them and is like 'master there has been a complication the senator has CHILDREN' as one of them gummily gnaws on his perfect hair. and dooku is like 'hmmmmmm are they as powerful in the Force as their father?' only for luke to spit up all over obi-wan's silk robe and obi-wan to make an offended cat noise and go 'I THINK NOT.'

sort of tragic if jedi padmé got pregnant and just decided to have the twins but raise them in the creché without telling anakin he's a father so he has no idea they exist and obi-wan discovering them and telling anakin is the thing that makes anakin Fall because he believes now and firmly the jedi stole his babies

[groupiewhoreee]

hii, first of all, finding your blog is a blessing from heaven🙌🏻✨, I'm so happy for have found it❤️ don't know if u write for them but, can I request queen headcannons, please? It's ok if you don't write to them, anyways, your blog is amazing thank u💕

hii! omg, thank you so much, i'm so glad you think so! its a blessing that your requesting me right now! 💕 yes, of course you can. i'd love to write headcanons about them! i don't really write for them, but as stated i do take requests for other bands/people! ur welcome, and thank you. ❤️

(whats happening in the gif 😭)

QUEEN HEAD-CANONS! (NSFW ADDITION!)

FREDDIE MERCURY

Freddie is the most sweetest person during sex it is very unbelievable. But he has his times where he cracks a smile and starts to laugh when you make an weird noise or manage to fall off the bed. He wants to make sure what he is doing is ok with you, of course. He never wants to hurt you or make you uncomfortable in any way possible.

He doesn't have many kinks, but Im gonna think he might have a role-play kink. Dressing up, all that stuff, yk? He doesn't have a particular favorite roleplay pair.

He prefers non-public sex due to the fact because he doesn't want to get in trouble, nor does he want anyone to even see in the first place. So he prefers to do it where its just you and him. He also doesn't like to go out in public with you hence people back then weren't very supportive of ur relationship.

You both don't really use positions. You guys just end up doing it however you two land up.

Honestly, sex happens mostly on the couch or the bed, no in between. Although, if you'd like to do it somewhere else that's fine with him.

BRIAN MAY

He's a sweet, somewhat serious and goofy guy during sex. He always cracks a smile during sex, and remains eye contact with you. He holds ur hands, kisses you all over and makes sure ur okay and he isn't hurting you too much. He can get rough though. He can start to spank you, and roughen you up.

Thighs, he loves thighs. He is a big thigh person. He adores touching and getting in between ur thighs. Hickies are left there sometimes.

Breeding kink. Nuff Said.

Very possessive sometimes, although he'll let you see friends and everything. During sex, he'll force you/beg to moan his name because he loves to hear how he owns you.

He isn't much interested in kinks, though he's fine with them. He's got a major breeding kink, how he groans to put a baby into you, and how he's gonna fill you up.

ROGER TAYLOR

Ah yes, Roger. The screaming boy. That definitely applies to the bed. Grunting, and moaning softly in ur ear. But, he likes to dominate you and roughen you up. Brian accidentally walked in on you two, It was kinda embarrassing. He loves pulling ur hair, calling you slut and names.

He likes his hair pulled, enough said.

He loves your boobs. Sometimes he'll grope them when he's behind you, or in front of you. He'll slap them sometimes. Freddie had to tell him to stop.

He loves having sex in the car, because music can play, and he loves his car as well, so. He loves having you in his car.

He'll definitely let you dominate him.. calling him baby boy, and how he'll call you mommy.

JOHN DEACON

John is just chill during sex, though he can get very serious and somewhat goofy, it's pretty casual. But, he'll roughen you up for you and will try new things for you if sex is getting boring.

Lives for you riding him, he likes to grip ur thighs and make eye contact with you.

Loves ur ass. He likes to smack it, and grab it from behind or when he is walking by. Brian noticed it and never said anything after.

He likes when you just tug his hair slightly when he eats you out. He loves it. How you entangled your fingers get into his soft/curly hair.

Is willing to do a threesome with you and one of his bandmates.

[nyan-koii]

This is basically the intro for the sebmarkson porn au :33

‘Mark doesn’t mean to find it, it just came across his mind while surfing for something to watch. Usually he doesn’t even watch porn, he usually finds some pretty age appropriate girl to take home and well, fuck.

But now he’s frozen in place, seeing the channel infront of him.

Barely legal German twink jerks off in hotel room.’

Idk I like it, Jenson finds out in a similar way in chapter 2 too. And then there’s a 3 chapter where they fuck him x33

Currently rounding up chap 2 and brainstorming for the fucking™️ but I’m not that good at smut 😭 but it’s in the works 👍 I also rlly like this part I wrote too

‘Jesus Christ Seb, he thinks as he sees his teammate palm himself in a pair of jeans. He doesn’t even have a shirt on, it shows off his torso. Tight and slim, his shoulders slightly raised as he runs his thumb across the zipper. His nipples are pink and pebbled, clearly swollen from being played with prior to filming.

He makes a soft noise as he quickly drags down the zipper and undoes the button, clearly impatient as he continues to tease the viewer. Him. Mark. ‘

Tell me what u think :33

HIII ANONN !!!

YOU DID ITTTTTTTT YOU SAVED US SEBMARKSON COMMUNITY WITH THISS OMGGG 😭😭🙏🙏 IM KEEPING YOU IN MY PRAYERS FOR REALLL SEBMARKSON PORNNN !!!

Mark why you're lying to yourself. The age appropriate girl vs barely legal German twink jerks off in hotel room is going to be the reason why mark avoids talking about his sexuality. Hes panicking guys. I wonder how did mark recognize him 🤔 is it because of the room? Is it how he knows the voice is similar to his teammate? Or is it the title that resembles a lot to one of his late night fantasies. Also, is that an underage seb fic queen 🥺? Underage seb??? Seb underage???

Jenson probably is searching the porn on purpose and OMGG 3 CHAPTERSS 😭😭😭 IM SO DOWN BADDD I CANT WAIT TO GOBBLE THIS FIC UPPPP OMGG ANONNNN UR KILLING ME

Writing smut is tough ngl so goodluck with it !! You got thisss 😤

And that line..... ohymygod.. i have no words, its so seductive and alluring, much like cockblocking.... i want mark to grab him and leave trails of him on seb's body. 😳 this also implies that seb knew about mark finding his acc and he took advantage of it oooooooooo THE SEXUAL TENSIONNNNNNNN GOOD GODDD KILL ME ALREADY. I love ittt cant wait to read it anon <33

[starkeysprincess]

Hi queen, I hope ur doing well, I’m so excited for kinktober and can’t wait to see what you have in store !! I was starting to work on school this morning and couldn’t make myself do it, (ADHD lol) and remembered you’re going for your masters (queen shit) do you have any good tips for locking in and making yourself or yelling at yourself just being motivated in general? I feel like u give rly good advice haha. Kisses! 💋

hi angel, thank you so much !! I’m trying to get these kinktober fics done asap so I could finally work on requests but im truly excited for kinktober !!

I’m doing okay, just a little drained from work and lack of sleep 😭 I hope you’re doing well !!

honestly that’s understandable, i get distracted easily it’s so bad 😭

ok ok so my advice for locking in to get assignments done is definitely to stay off your phone, i know it’s easy to get distracted by your phone & I’ve found putting my phone on do not disturb and putting it out of my reach helps a ton !!

there’s been days where i don’t wanna work on assignments but i force myself to, i kinda just tell myself “think about it…if you get this done now, you won’t have to do it over the weekend” which works for me cause i value having relaxation time away from school + work

i find listening to music helps me a ton ! I usually use my noise cancelling headphones to listen to music while i work on assignments

OOO ANOTHER THING is if you easily get distracted by things in your room, you might have to work in a different setting so you’re not tempted to mess with anything in your room

[codecicle]

HELLO !!!! Wondering what. Ur favourite video game is rn. And persnaps🦀 things in it u enjoy ??? (*^_^*)

OHHHHH THANK YOU FOR THIS I GET AN EXCUSE TO TALK ABOUT SUBNAUTICA >:DDDD

Subnautica and Subnautica: Below Zero will be my favorite set of games forever and ever man. Mentally I'm still there and I will never leave those games gave me my passion for both robotics and deep-sea travel/creatures in real life its what made me as insane as I am today ^_^

The Reaper leviathans (and all the leviathans in the game for that matter. reefbacks are peak fuck the haters 🔥🔥) always have a little compartment in my brain and I will never shut up about their design and how effective they are when it comes to horror. The way they're introduced AFTER the player runs into the completely friendly reefbacks so their fear of "loud noise/big = bad" is subdued and broken down so their guard is lowered right before entering the dunes and feeling true primal fear for the first time apon seeing them is just executed SO perfectly I've never seen something come even close to comparing. I wouldn't say they're my favorite thing across BOTH games though because oh my goddd that spot is definitely reserved for AL-AN

Him and his whole planet will forever live in my head rent-free (both because I'm not a landlord LMAO and also. Insane about him disease) every little detail about him makes me so insane. The fact that his species is mainly robotic and mechanical so he doesn't understand a majority of Robin's feelings and experiences that she's been through, the way they built apon the original virus on 4546B by explaining the way it showed up and mutated to annihilate every species on that planet was BECAUSE of the very architects that meant to protect it. Them having to build the original quarantine system that crashed Riley's ship (The Aurora) because their bodies weren't entirely mechanical, and all of their biological components were made out of the most efficient and compatible parts of 40-ish species which means once they caught the original disease, every other species that they pulled from could now get it. That only makes them trapping the Emperor Leviathan so much sadder because they didn't realize she could communicate with them and actually give them what the whole planet so desperately needed because they talk through entirely closed off mental frequencies, so even their bio components couldn't let her talk to them. AL-AN being one of the few to try and go against the current and felt bad about what they were doing to the queen is just so in character for him, especially with how he acts to all "lower" lifeforms that Robin runs into. Him being cut off from his entire family and neural-link is just so fucking devastating and him finding that comfort and connection through Robin, going so far as to rescue her and take her off-planet with him once she builds his body will NEVERR leave me man godd what an ending

Speaking of his body, I've gotta say it's the single coolest alien design I've ever fuckin seen. Look at this shit

like oh my god??? what the fuck right??? everything about it makes me so insane. NOT TO MENTION this concept art (which IS his final design btw just not 3d rendered yet) is made by Pat Presley, who also ended up making concept art for all the other Archetects that we haven't met yet and will meet in Subnautica 3 (whenever the fuck that will begin development LMAO)

like look at how different they are from him. how much more mechanical and less colorful, more hivemind-esque and lifeless they seem. even just down to the pose he's standing in gives off so much more life than they do and it makes me INSANEEEEE his time with Robin absolutely changed him and his physical form reflects that. He is such a combination of all the other archetects while also being NOTHING like them at the same time. The fact that he is literally able to move and change the shape of his arms and be fluid the same way he is fluid and willing to change unlike all of those on his home planet is crazy to me.

Speaking of his home planet too, it's also sick as fuck and I just need to show this finale screenshot real quick because oh my GODDDD I'm losing it. You have no idea how hyped I was to watch this shit when the full game released

AND ONE MORE THING!!! speakkkinnggg of the full-game release, the game actually released in beta testing with a different opening than the final version!! and in the beta testing, you started out in the final area where the finale takes place in the final release version. Visiting that old station again at the very end of the game feels like such a nice nod to the beta-testers that feels perfectly planned out. It really makes the game come full circle, even if you don't have the context of the beta testing version to appreciate.

Subnautica is (either story or gameplay-wise) probably the objectively better game imo, but Below Zero holds such a special place in my heart for the AL-AN story line alone. Godd he makes me so insane I love him sm <3 <3 rant over thank you for the ask