#go and read Evitative
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dandelion-system · 3 months ago
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It’s kinda awkward having a problematic alter (fictive)
Sometimes it’s only problematic in some circles? Like having an MHA alter. You kinda have to explain you aren’t from ‘that’ side of the fandom
Then there’s the ‘vastly popular media with a crappy creator’, current or old. People are gonna be mad at hazbin hotel alters and they’re also gonna be mad at Harry Potter alters
Sometimes they just have you know, inconspicuous enough names. Or they change their names to separate from their source. Our Alastor (conversational protector) you wouldn’t know it was him unless we told you. Deku and bakugou chose to be called clover and kat, and other than being cringe (they’re teenagers) aren’t really like source.
BUT DRACO MALFOY. he’s not proud of Rowling, and has explicitly stated many times he prefers the fan fictions to the original fiction because they’re ’far more accurate and in depth’ but also he’s a wizard and he’s a slytherin. Also would hex any sort of bigot on sight, but ITS SO AWKWARD TO EXPLAIN.
‘Hi, this is Draco. Yes he’s the weird rival from the problematic wizard series. We formed him when we were 8. And didn’t even know twitter existed. He was just relatable to us. And he told us how to say the right things. He’s still around. He’s still one of our most functional alters. But he’s also Draco malfoy. Even we don’t know how to feel about that.’
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littlemissmiller · 5 months ago
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𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑮𝒊𝒓𝒍 𝑵𝒆𝒙𝒕 𝑫𝒐𝒐𝒓
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Pairing: joel miller x fem!reader
Summary: (au) (Joel is dad to a 9 year old Sarah) Joel has been your neighbor for some time and you and him have become friendly. In an attempt to spend more time to him (and a desire to show off your summer body) you throw a pool party…
Warning: 21+ (drinking), smut, fluff, friends to lovers, use of nicknames (babydoll, baby, darling), p in v, ass eating, cowgirl style, fingering, couch sex, porn with a plot
Work count: 4.1k
A/N: hi all! the official first day of summer is today and i got inspired by a pool party i went to with my mans so i just had to write this cute lil smutty, fluffy story. i have a billy request coming and hopefully i get ch 3 of Summer Highs out soon (i know i said it would be soon don’t trust me on a release date which is why i don’t do them) ok that’s it! much love and enjoy ❣︎
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It’s always a hot summer in Texas. It would feel weird if it wasn’t, but this year it feels like the earth is a legit bun in the oven. The whole neighborhood is feeling the heat, so given you have a pool in your backyard, you invite people over for a summer kickoff. Of course it has nothing to do with the fact you are desperate to see Joel Miller in nothing but a pair of swim trunks. From just his work shirts alone, you could see how tight his shirt hugged his muscles. How toned his back was whenever he would sweat through it doing yard work. You would always wave over to him from across the street, occasionally bring him water or lemonade while he worked. And today, your excuse for seeing him was to invite him to your pool party. You catch him outside after work, in his garage tinkering around under his truck. You stroll across the street and walk in. You knock on the side of the garage walls and Joel slides out from under his Silverado.
“Well hey there!” He beams, striding towards you
“What’s up cowboy.”
“Not much, waiting for Sarah to come home from soccer camp.” He informs
“Oh keeping her busy.”
“Well between so and the library reading contest she’s more or less keeping herself busy. Determined to get those Astro tickets. I promised we would do a road trip and she reaches thirty books by the end of June and wins the two tickets. She’s already at twenty five. She has a whole strategy.”
“Wow. Good for her. Well I hope she’s not too busy this weekend…” you state
“Oh yeah why’s that” he smiles, leaning his arm against the garage and above your head. You feel totally lost here with him looking at you how he is. His big brown eyes, so curious and pleasant, simply wondering what you have to say. He raises his eyebrows in anticipation.
“Well I sent out an evite a little bit ago, but I wanted to come tell you in person that I’m having a pool party Saturday. I thought we could all beat the heat ya know.”
“Yeah we‘ll be free.” He steps back, taking a rag from his waist and wiping his hands. He heads toward his garage fridge and gets out two bottles of water, offering you one.
“Thanks. So you do have your own water.”
“Yeah I always keep that fridge full. Especially with Sarah and her friends I practically always got Gatorade.”
“So you just like my water better?”
Joel smiles at you, combing his hair with his fingers. You watch his muscles flex and wish that you can be wrapped in them. He starts to look through his tool box and nods.
“You could say that. So Saturday you said? What time?”
“It starts at 12, but you can stay for as long as you’d like.”
“I’ll talk to Sarah, but I have a feeling she'll say yes. She loves you, so any excuse to see you, she’ll take.”
“I’m sure.”
“We’ll see ya Saturday then.” He winks and disappears back under his truck
You waltz out of the garage and back to your house. You trot inside gleefully and close the door behind you. You could jump, squeal, practically combust. Not only did you just figure out Joel had his own drinks on deck whenever he works, but always accepts an offer from you no matter what. God he must like you. He must. You hope you're not thinking too much into it but, you couldn’t help but think when he said “She loves you, so any excuse to see you, she’ll take…” he really was talking about himself. You bite your lip and roll your eyes. You want him so badly. So bad you feel like you are going to explode. You lean your head back against the door and sigh.
Saturday comes around soon enough, and you spend the whole evening and next morning preparing for the day. You clean your house, chop lettuce, tomatoes and onions for burgers, cut up a watermelon and make a macaroni salad. Even though you hadn’t explicitly asked for his help, you had a feeling Joel would want to help grill and you’d gladly take it. You prepare a cooler with a few beers and some water and put it in your garage fridge. Next you set up the pool area. You lay the cushions on the pool chairs, unwind the umbrellas and set out a few pool noodles. Everything looks perfect and your first guests start arriving around 12:08. More and more people arrive and at around 1:30, you finally see Joel and Sarah pulling up. He walks in with his own cooler and a swim bag. He approaches you while Sarah runs off to the other neighborhood kids.
“Well hey cowboy! Glad you could make it.”
“Yeah sorry we are late. Work called last minute and I had to help them order some more flooring for our site.”
“No worries. But these people are getting hungry and maybe you could help grill. I hate to put you to work…”
“Ain’t no trouble darling.”
“Ok I’m going to change. The patties are already formed, just in the fridge.”
Joel follows you inside and heads into your kitchen, poking his head in the fridge. You walk upstairs to your bedroom and change into your swimsuit. You had gone out that week and picked out a new suit. It was white, a two piece, the edge frilled, and it shaped your figure so well. You spin around and admire how it sits on your ass. The back had a cheeky build, and totally gave the viewer an idea of how your cute little ass looks. Not to mention the way it rides up, exposing your cheeks slightly, it’s perfect and you can’t wait for Joel to see you in it. You put your jean shorts back on and find one of your white, open-knit, pool coverup and a red, and a worn USA baseball cap. You pull your ponytail through the loop of your hat and spin around one last time.
Rushing down the stairs, only to find Joel already outside starting the grill. You sigh in disappointment. You take a beer from your fridge and try to open in on your own. Then Joel walks back inside. Even though your back is turned to him, he can tell you are struggling.
“Need help?”
You jump and turn around, your tits bouncing slightly as you turn, which Joel notices. He also seems slightly speechless as you turn to face him. His sentence cut off, face frozen, as if you stole the words from his mouth.
“Uh yeah, thanks.” You hand him the bottle and he takes it, uncapping it like it’s nothing. He hands it back to you and you take a swig.
“Oh hey so because I was so outta sorts getting out the door, I totally forgot to get sunscreen. You got any, Sarah is itching to get in the pool.”
“Of course” you run back up to your bathroom, find a 50 SPF bottle and head back down stairs. Joel calls out to his daughter and she comes rushing inside. At the sight of your face she enthusiastically calls your name and rushes towards you. You hold her in your arms.
“Hey sunshine!”
“We brought brownies!” She proclaims
“Oh did your dad make them?”
“Mhmm. Well he helped, I really was the baker!” She insists
Joel lets out a playful chuckle and rolls his eyes in amusement.
“Yeah, especially with all those eggshells you had to fish out?”
“At least I know how to preheat the oven.” She claps back
Joel smirks and then looks at you. He has always appreciated how loving and kind you are to Sarah. He appreciates knowing that when she’s with you, she’s in more than good hands. And you adored her as well.
“Hey! let her get that sunscreen on ya.”
“I’m fine! I’ll stay in the shade!” Sarah protests but before she can scurry off you’re already squirting it into your hand, applying it to her shoulders.
“You know you don’t have to listen to him. I thought you’re supposed to be the fun one!” She whines, and you smear her face. She scrunches it up in displeasure.
“I am the fun one. This is called fun in the sun, sunshine.”
She groans and pulls her face away.
“You know I think I saw a bomb pop with your name on it out in the garage fridge, if you can still hang in there for one more second.” You promise. “Ok there. Top shelf in the garage. Bring a few for the other kids. Ok?”
“Yes!” She states firmly and rushes off into the garage
“She just loves to keep ya busy…”
“Tell me about it.” Joel rolls his eyes “you uh…you look nice…” he swallows nervously
“Thanks, it’s new. I got it for today actually.”
“Oh really. Trying to impress someone?” He asks
“Wouldn’t you like to know.” You quip back, smirking “how’s those burgers coming along”
“Grills still heating up, this is really nice of ya to invite everyone. Sarah hasn’t really had much pool time with soccer.”
“Well you two are invited over anytime.”
“Appreciate the offer. What else do you need for these burgers?”
“Here” you state, turning to the fridge and opening it.
You grab the toppings, cheese, and condiments and follow him outside. As Joel grills, you make your way around, chatting with your fellow neighbors. Eventually you get in the pool with a playful “go on sugar, I’ll holler at ya when they are ready” from Joel. As you strip off your top and shorts, Joel checks you out from across the pool. He can’t help but let his eyes linger on the curves of your body, the way your bikini bottoms hug your ass, and how nice and perky your boobs sit on your chest.
You notice him checking you out, your own eyes hidden behind your sunglasses. You try not to look so much, but with his back to you, it’s easier to admire his broad shoulders. And you have to admit, Joel is absolutely radiating domesticity. You could easily get used to this sight. Sarah splashes around you, pretending to be a mermaid looking for pearls and you throw sinking rings for her to dive for. Joel catches you playing with Sarah, and smiles. The smell of hamburger meat fills the air and Joel calls to you. You throw some more rings in to keep Sarah occupied and head out of the pool.
“How are these, little lady?” Joel asks as you approach
“Fantastic! Let’s put cheese on half of them.”
“You got it!”
People start to gather for food and you help Sarah dry off and get her a plate.
“Cheese or no cheese baby?” Joel asks Sarah as she approaches the grill
“Cheeeese!” She smiles, showing off her big smile to her dad
“What about you doll?” He asks you
“Same as her.”
After you eat, you wait a while to get back in the pool. You lay out with a few of the girls from the neighborhood Wine Club. As you chat, Joel admires the way the sun glimmers off your body. With most of the food served, Joel joins his daughter in the pool. You watch as he takes off his shirt, gawking over his bare chest. His shoulders cut into his neck so sharp and clean and you can help but want to feel how strong he is. And You smirk to yourself, happy to finally see him exactly how you wanted to. And he looks damn good in his turquoise-green trunks.
“I’ll be right back…” you excuse yourself, striding over to Joel, swaying your hips
“Can I get you a drink? I’m getting another beer, and maybe one of those brownies I heard about.”
“Oh I want one!” Sarah exclaims
“If you get out you’re getting more sunscreen on ya babe..” Joel promises
“She can bring me one and I can eat in the pool!”
“No, no baby. C’mon.” He argues, lifting Sarah out of the pool and onto the pavement.
“Awww!” Sarah whines, swinging her arms and legs.
You hold her hand and take her to the food, you grab a towel, wrap her in it and get her a small plate. You place a brownie on it and hand it to her.
“Can I have two?” She bats her eyes
“Go ask your daddy…”
She waddles over to Joel, squatting down to ask him. He rolls his eyes and nods and she trots back to you.
“He said I can!”
As the afternoon turns into evening, more and more people head back to their homes and pretty soon the sun is setting. You start to clean up, picking up plates and empty bottles and taking them inside the house.
The last few neighbors pop in to thank you and say goodbye and behind them is Joel.
“Hey…need some help?” Joel asks you
“Oh you’ve done more than enough. Y’all headed out?”
“I uh...sent Sarah home with the Adler’s. They said they’d watch her for the evening until I got back.“
“Oh! Well I would have loved to say goodbye to her.” You frown
“I bet she would have too, but she passed out on my knee even with everyone running around. Danny wanted to get his Ma home anyways…” he explains
He walks up to the kitchen counter and places a few empty beer bottles down. You smile and thank him. He helps bring in a few more bottles and follows you around with a trash bag as you pick up plates and plastic silverware. After everything is cleaned up and the pool is closed up, you and Joel head inside.
“Well I don’t wanna keep you from Sarah much longer.”
“It’s ok, unless that’s your way of kindly kicking me out, then by all means I’ll head out.” He smirks
“No no, you can stay if you like…”
“You sure?”
You nod and he closes the sliding door leading out to the pool, locking it.
“I don’t have much beer left, but you seem like a whiskey guy to me.” You imply
“I sure do.”
You pour him a glass and he leans over your counter. He smiles and he holds the glass to his lips and sips.
“I really appreciate ya Joel.”
“It’s no trouble.”
There is a brief moment of silence as you take a sip of your whiskey and gaze into his big brown eyes. You can’t help but feel he’s looking at you in the same way. A wave of desire washes over you and just as you're about to speak, possibly trying to make a move, Joel strides over to you.
“Ya know if ya ever need my help, I’ll always be willing. Whatever you need…”
“You’re too sweet Joel, I feel like I need to make it up to you.”
“Maybe you can, baby…” the words slip from his lips and steal your breath away. You gasp and move in closer to him.
“I’m sorry, can I call you baby?”
You nod wordlessly.
“Yeah? Well then baby, kiss me…”
You lean up, cupping his face and pressing his lips against your own. He holds your face in return, rubbing his thumbs against your cheeks and moaning into your mouth. Your hands move to cup his neck as you move your face, deepening the kiss. Joel clutches your jaw, pulling you closer and raising you onto your tippy toes. You chuckle against him. This is finally happening. You’re finally kissing the man you’ve dreamed of. Ever since him and Sarah moved in, you have wanted him. It was no secret. Perhaps that’s why the Adler’s offered to watch Sarah. To give you this moment. And you’re ever so thankful.
Joel’s calloused palms move to your waist, slowly trailing down your body, feeling the sides of your bare skin. You hadn’t bothered putting your swim shirt back on after the pool and you were grateful. You welcome his fingers and let out a girlish giggle, his feather light touch overwhelming.
“How late do you wanna stay?”
Joel checks his watch. It’s 8:10.
“I told the Adlers I would be back by 9 so I mean…is that enough time for you…”
“I’ll take whatever you give me.” You smile against his face, kissing his cheek.
With that he returns his mouth to your own and he moves to cup under your shorts. He squeezes your ass and moves his hands under your thighs. In one swift motion he picks you up and is moving you both to your couch. You and him stumble into it and he sits down with you on his lap. You gasp and pull back.
“Ok that was fucking hot Miller, my god could you get any sexier.”
“You know what’s sexy…” he implies, pulling on the front of your bikini top, snapping the strap
“You like it?”
“You look like an absolute snack in this thing darling. And your ass, fuck I couldn’t stop looking at it by the pool.” he pants
“Glad you noticed. I was trying to impress you if you didn’t pick up on that when I told you.”
“Oh I did, and it worked. It definitely worked.” He sighs, sealing his words with another searing kiss.
You rock against him as his mouth moves with yours. You simply can’t get enough of him like this and he desperately wants to devour you. His hands wrap around your back, pulling you flush against his chest. He moves to squeeze your ass again, fingers dancing underneath your jeans. He grabs and gropes you, causing you to whine and whimper into his mouth.
“I love those pretty little noises you make, baby. I can’t wait to hear what other noises you make for me.” He whispers
He pulls at the hem of your jeans, tugging on them until they slide down your ass. You stand up, pulling them down your smooth legs. He starts rubbing the back of your thighs, moving his hands up and down and settling them underneath the cheek of your ass. He pulls your waist close to his face, your pelvis practically grinding up against his nose and lips. You delicately place your hands on his shoulders as he admires you.
“Let me see that cute little ass of yours again, babydoll”
Then suddenly you are spun around and he grips the strings of your bikini bottoms slowly pulling them down. As he does, he kisses the bear skin that’s being revealed to him until his lips are consuming your ass. You let out a sigh, arching your back slightly as his mouth finds your core. He dives in, placing his hands on the meat of your ass and nuzzling into your cheeks. His soft lips began to kiss your folds, and you buck up against his face. He growls against you, groping your cheeks and diving in to taste you. His mouth and tongue finds your clit and he begins to lap at it. He’s so hungry for you. So desperate to drink up your juices like a sweet nectar. Your legs quiver slightly and Joel notices. He wraps his hands around the front of your thighs, steadying you , while simultaneously pulling you closer to his mouth. He pulls back quickly, replacing his mouth with his fingers. He rubs the sensitive bundle of nerves feverishly, cooing as you moan and whine.
“Tastes so good. So fucking good baby.” He whispers.
He mouths at your pussy, his saliva mixing with your juices, making you so wet. You’re throbbing into his mouth and he places a few chase kisses to your cunt, before pulling away. He takes his shirt off and tosses it aside. He gives your core a few more open mouth kisses then spins you around once more, and you take off your top. You slowly pull the dainty string, letting your bikini top fall off you and onto his lap. He moans, clutching the top in his hand. You move to straddle him and he tosses the top on the ground.
Before you can put your weight on him, he bucks his hips, taking his trunks off. His cock springs forward and he takes his incredible length in his hand. He slowly pumps himself and you lower your ass onto his thighs. You don’t quite sink into him yet, wanting to appreciate this moment with him. He cups your ass and you clasp the back of his neck. He leans forward to press feather light kisses along your jaw and neck. Then his actions get more aggressive as he starts to manipulate your breasts. You mewl and arch into him. Your entire body starts to slowly rock against his, teasing him with your wet core on his cock.
“Fuck I want you. I can feel ya. So wet.”
You nod, biting your lip and Joel loves his hand down in between your legs again. He plays with your clit for a moment, before sinking a finger in you. You buck up on him, and steady yourself on his shoulders. He pumps his finger into you, loving the way your heat and juices consume his digit. He adds another one, and you feel so incredibly full.
“You ready for me?” Joel murmurs against your neck.
“Mhmm, please Joel. I’ve wanted this for so long!” You gasp as he removes his fingers. He wraps his hand around his cock, guiding it to your entrance. The tip pokes in, then you engulf the rest, taking his full length in you. He lets out a staggering moan as he works his lips down to your collarbone and valley of your breasts. You move your hips, slowly grinding on his cock and your tits bounce in his face. He chuckles and looks up at you. He sits back, holding your hips as you ride him.
“Fucking look at you girl. So gorgeous my god.”
You giggle in return, feeling up your body and playing with your boobs.
“That’s it, put on a little show for me.”
You bounce on him, continuing to feel your body and then you touch your clit, swirling it around in between your fingers. You let out a long, breathy moan, tilting your head back.
“Mmm Joel, Joel Joel Joel….” You hang his name as he squeezes your ass harshly. He helps you move, shoving your body onto his cock and moving his hands to hold your hips.
“That’s it. Oh my god you’re perfect…”
You learn back slightly, rolling your hips and tummy. He splays his hands over your waist, his breath hitching. He loves watching you move. He loves how you feel and needs more. Joel moves expertly to stand up, keeping himself buried inside you and, placing you on your back, you yelp as he lays you on the couch. He dives in for your lips again. He crawls on top of you, wasting no time shoving his length into you. Cupping your face. He rocks his hips, his cock filling you up once again. He speeds up, drilling into you. Your legs fold up to your chest, giving him better access to your pussy. As he thrusts into you, his beautiful eyes meet your own, his gaze thirsty for more. He rests his forehead against you and pants.
“You close?”
“If you touch me again. Play with me a little then I’ll come… please Joel…”
“Yeah? Like this baby?”
He aggressively rubs your core, his hand in sync with his hips. You nod and let out a series of incoherent babbles. You move against his hand and cock, a pool of ecstasy filling your stomach and drowning your senses. Your heat builds and builds until you break. You clench down around him, your breath leaving you as Joel’s mouth falls onto your own. With a few more of his own pumps, his seed is spilling inside you.
“Oh shit” he curses “fuck baby it’s just you felt so good shit I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine I’m on the pill.”
“You sure it’s ok?
You nod and he kisses you deeply, lips pressing firmly on your own. You moan, holding his face.
“You just might be the most perfect thing on the planet, ya know that?”
“Whatever you say.” you chuckle
“I know this may come off as formal given what we just did, but I really wanna take you out for a drink sometime. Like an actual date. If you want?”
“Yes Joel, I’d like that very much.”
꧁•☀︎•꧂
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juniperskye · 4 months ago
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It had to be You.
Sneak Peek: Modern Day AU! (kinda think late 90’s early 2000’s) Running into your ex at your mutual friends’ engagement party, that was something you had expected and were mentally prepared for. Him looking that damn good and the chaos that ensues…you were not expecting. Flashbacks are bolded.
Eddie Munson x Artist! Fem Reader
Angst/ Fluff (at the end)
Word count: 2301
REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Feedback is welcome if it's constructive!
Warnings: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! My blog is 18+, minors DNI, explicit language, past relationship, mention of reader having a troubled past, Steve, and Nancy are together in this (they work ok…sorry not sorry), nobody is dead!, no use of y/n, lovers to enemies to lovers, Eddie is unnamed until the end...idk I felt that it worked for this story (despite you knowing it's him), let me know if I missed any!
I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.
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You were elated when you got the call. Steve had called you to let you know that he had officially done it, he had asked Nancy to marry him! You knew he was planning it, hell, you helped him pick the ring for her, you just didn’t know when. You expressed your excitement and congratulated the happy couple asking them about the possibility of an engagement party. Nancy had let you know they weren’t planning one but would love it.
You immediately begun planning the party, creating an evite and curating the perfect guestlist. You called Enzo’s to see if they could accommodate a party of this size. Once that was confirmed and booked, you made sure to call in some reinforcements.
You had called Robin, Chrissy, Max, El, and Dustin. Chrissy had stayed in Hawkins; she went to the community college there and now teaches at Hawkins high. Max, El, Dustin, along with some of the others (Will, Lucas, and Mike) were finishing school at Indiana University, Robin had gone to Butler, and currently resided in Indianapolis. Nancy and Steve had recently moved back to Hawkins after finishing school in Chicago, Nancy was offered an editing position at the Hawkins Journal.
You on the other hand had been living in New York City ever since graduation. It hadn’t happened exactly as you had planned it…which is the exact reason you were nervous to return to Hawkins.
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“We’re gonna graduate, then we will pack up the van and hightail it out of here babe.”
“I was thinking New York. You know…that way you can pursue your music, and I can pursue my art.” You replied.
“That sounds perfect baby! Just a few more weeks and we can go.” He grabbed your hand and the two of you laid back against the pillows in the back of the van.
**One Month Later**
You pulled up to the trailer with your car packed full of your belongings. You were ready to get to New York and start your life! You were even more excited to start your life with him. You stopped the car and made your way up the steps, knocking gently.
“Hey kiddo.” Uncle Wayne greeted.
“Hey Wayne! Is he ready to go?” You asked.
“He better be, with all the noise he was making. Head on back.” Wayne gestured for you to go down the hall.
“Babe! Are you packed and ready to…” your voice trailed off as you entered his room, noticing the severe lack of moving boxes or suitcases. “What the hell? Why aren’t you packed?”
“I uh, I don’t think we should go.”
“What do you mean? We’ve been planning this for months; you were the one who always said once you graduated you would get the hell out of here.” You shouted.
“I know, but I just, I don’t think it’s a good idea. I can’t just leave Uncle Wayne, and who’s to say we don’t get to New York, and everything goes to shit? At least here we know things work.” He challenged.
“We’ll never know if we don’t try. Also, we’re stronger than that, just because we move doesn’t mean this is automatically falls apart.” You replied.
“I can’t go, why don’t you understand that? It’s not going to work. We can stay here and build a life. I have a job at the garage, and you can paint here.” He huffed.
“Well, I can’t stay here.” Your gaze drifted to your feet. “Hawkins is too small, we were destined for something bigger, which is why I need to go to New York.”
“So that’s it then? You’re just gonna leave?” He muttered.
“No. You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to make me feel guilty for following through with our plans. If anyone should feel guilty here it’s you for tricking me into thinking that you were actually going to come with me. But instead, you’re bailing on me, just like everyone else.” You bellowed, quickly making your exit.
That day you had left for New York and didn’t look back. You had travelled to Indianapolis and Chicago to visit your friends, but you hadn’t stepped foot back in Hawkins since then, and you really weren’t looking forward to it.
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You spent the next week coordinating with everyone, in hopes of planning the best engagement party for your friends. You guys worked on decorations, who would get the happy couple to Enzo’s on time. And in just two weeks, you’d find yourself standing in the nicest restaurant in Hawkins Indiana.
“Oh my gosh, you look gorgeous!” Chrissy squealed, jogging over to embrace you.
“I could say the same about you! Congratulations by the way.” You beamed, gently caressing Chrissy’s now prominent bump.
Chrissy and you caught up with one another, and as the others arrived you greeted everyone and began decorating. Pretty much everyone had arrived except for Robin, she had been the person you assigned to get Steve and Nancy to Enzo’s.
You had been placing the last floral centerpiece on its designated table when you heard his voice. Loud and boisterous as always, greeting Dustin, and the other boys as he made his way back to where you were setting up.
“When was the last time you spoke to him?” Max inquired.
“The day I left for New York.” You replied, shaking your head as you straighten out the vase.
“You know he came to New York.” Dustin mentioned, having butt into your conversation. “It was about six months after you left, he went to the studio you were renting and saw you painting, he said that he didn’t want to mess anything up for you and that he wanted to make something of himself before he saw you again.” Dustin concluded.
You couldn’t help the look of shock that took over your features. “It doesn’t change anything. He made his choice.” You said with a sense of finality and walked away.
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Fifteen minutes later, Robin entered the restaurant with Nancy and Steve trailing in behind her. The room erupted in cheers for the newly engaged, the two of the were passed from person to person for a warm embrace. There was nothing to do but smile at the radiant glow that the two of them wore. The longer you were surrounded by all this happiness, the tighter your chest became, you needed air.
The minute you reached the exit, you felt relief, the cool night air surrounding you, finally allowing you to take in a deep breath. You took a few steps away from the exit and leaned up against the brick building.
“Was the cheerful mood suffocating you too?”
You’s recognize that voice anywhere. It was once something that made you swoon, but now it felt like a knife to the heart. You wanted nothing more than to run far away and hide forever. You had really hoped that by the time you needed to confront him, you’d have already moved on and started a new life.
“I didn’t realize someone was out here. I’ll just go.”
A hand gently gripping your wrist stopped you. Your head whipped around, fully ready to tell him off, but the look on his face stopped you dead in your tracks. He wore an expression that you were very familiar with. It was the same one that stared back at you when you looked in the mirror. Sunken eyes, dark circles, dull looking skin, clearly missing that glow that your best friends currently wore.
“Please just talk to me.” He pleaded.
“I have nothing to say to you.” You murmured.
“Then listen. Please, I have something I’d really like to say to you.” He released your wrist and his gaze shifted up his eyes begging you to stay.
“You have five minutes.” You didn’t have it in you to hold back the eyeroll.
“Thank you!” He hollered. “Okay sweetheart, where do I begin? I um, the reason I didn’t go to New York with you was because I was scared. And I know that sounds like some bullshit excuse, but I mean it. I was terrified that we would get there, and you would become this successful artist and I’d just be like this bum that was holding you back from being great. I just figured that if I stayed here that I’d have the band and the job at the garage, and nothing would have to change. Only everything changed, the guys graduated and went off to college, the band broke up and worst of all, you were gone. I really fucked it all up, which is why I worked so hard to make something of myself.” He explained.
“Dustin told me you came to New York. Why didn’t you tell me?” You asked.
“When I saw your studio, I saw you working on this piece, it was a big charcoal piece, and I don’t know. I guess I just didn’t want to fuck things up for you more than I already had.”
“The charcoal piece, it uh, it was. Did you see what the piece was?” You pressed.
“No, I didn’t. I bet it was great though. Sweetheart, I uh, can I show you something?”
“Okay.” You nodded.
He led you over to a motorcycle, he grabbed the helmet and went to put it on and turned toward you, offering you the spare. You glanced from the helmet to his face, and he offered a subtle nod. You placed the helmet on your head, and he reached up to tighten the chin strap for you. You let out a sharp breath at the contact, releasing a cough to try and cover it.
The two of you rode through the city, stopping in front of a garage you didn’t recognize. The logo was in large red letters outlined in white. A bright contrast of the black painted brick. He assisted you off the back of his motorcycle and led you into the building.
“This uh, this is my shop.”
“What do you mean?” You asked.
“So, uh after high school, I kept selling for a while, saving up my money. Then Rick got picked up and sent to prison. So, I got the job at the garage, I worked as many hours as possible, putting in the work. Anyway uh, I got pretty close with the owner and he uh, he left me the place when he died two years ago.” He replied.
“This is great. I’m really happy for you bub.” The nickname slipped out faster than you could comprehend.
“I have something else I’d like to show you.”
“Okay.”
This time, he drove you through a neighborhood you recognized from your youth. It housed beautiful (affordable) family homes, the ones that you had imagined raising your family in. These were the homes you still visualized when you pictured your future. And he was the man that you woke up next to in these images.
When he pulled into the driveway of one of the homes you were confused. He had always expressed his distaste of these homes. You had always known that the reasoning behind his upset was that it was the childhood he was robbed of.
Once you were dismounted his bike, he ushered you to the front door, gesturing for you to enter. Your breath caught in your throat as you looked around the home. You couldn’t help but notice all the details in this particular home, it had a large bay window with a window seat, a big open kitchen, and a breakfast nook.
“What is this?”
“It’s not done, I still have some work to do. But Wayne has been helping me put in all the things we had talked about. Upstairs we put in a clawfoot tub, and we’re working on the flooring.” He gushed.
“This is all a bit much, I uh, I…” Before you could finish, you were out the door and desperately trying to catch your breath in the front lawn.
“Hey, sweetheart, I’m sorry. I’ve been working on myself, trying to be better for you. I was gonna come to New York when the house was finished and talk to you and ask you to come home.”
“Bub, this isn’t home anymore. Hawkins isn’t my home. It never was. That’s why we planned to go to New York. Ugh! I just…fuck! You bailed on me; don’t you get that? You did the one thing that I begged you not to! You broke your promise and you let me believe that I meant nothing to you.” You sobbed.
“Sweetheart, I know I fucked this up before, but please give me another chance? I will spend the rest of my life trying to make this all up to you.” He begged.
“It’s my turn to show you something. Drive me back to Enzo’s.” You demanded.
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He drove you back to the restaurant and pulled up to your car per your request. You dragged him to the trunk and opened it to reveal a folded-up canvas, a box of your art supplies and a photo storage box. You reached into the trunk and grabbed the folded canvas, slowly opening it to reveal the piece you had been working on when he had come to New York. When you opened it completely he let out a breath.
“It’s me.” He whispered.
“They all are.” You stated.
You opened up the photo bin to unveil hundreds of photos of your work, all varying portraits of the man in front of you. You looked down to your shoes, watching as you dug your toe into the gravel parking lot.
“You see, I realized something through my art. Hawkins isn’t my home. But New York isn’t either.”
“What do you mean?”
“Eddie, you’re my home.”
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Let me know if you want to know what happens next!
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spnfanficpond · 3 months ago
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July 2024 Angel Fish Awards
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(Angel Fish design by @slytherkins!!)
Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words. (Click here to learn more about how to nominate a fic for an award!)
Nominated by @heavenssexiestangel
A Stairway to Nowhere by all_the_kings_ham (AO3)
Everyone knows there is a lack of some good Ducifer fics out there, due to it being a rarepair. This one is still one of my faves and I love the humanity and trauma shown in some scenes. It's truly worth a read.
Apple Pie and the Apocalypse by @ladyknightskye
I'm still reading it but I've read quite a few new chapters and I'm absolutely loving it. There are some hilarious scenes and some more serious ones (sometimes they're together...) and I really can't wait to see how it ends
Like an Open Book by @butiaintgonnaloveem
I am trying to get into x Reader fics and there truly is a lack of Ketch oh my G-d. Anyway. Although here the reader is... Way too dominant to be me lol... I love Ketch showing his softer side and reader helping him to relax. I shall leave nsfw thoughts untold 😫
Nominated by @annahmiraculousmillenium
Let's pretend I'm dead by evitably (AO3)
I love possession fic.
Nominated by @charliethealpaccaso
Woof by morrezela (AO3)
I tend to hunt down all sorts of transformation based fics of all kinds if it peaks my interest and this one caught my interest at the start. I want to make sure more people check out the tag or get some ideas. For this fic what if jensen got turned into a dalmatian. How is he going to deal with his new form and does he ever get back to his human self that is up to you to figure out
Like The Fairy Tales by Icefire149 (AO3)
As the one trying to seek out some great animal transformation fics we got this one where sam is turned into a frog. I thought this was a cute fic and worth a read if you like to check it out.
Regarding Sam by AllHallowsEve (AO3)
For me Regarding Dean was a great spn ep and when I found this I wanted to see what would happen for Sam. The story for the ep plays the same with some added bits more leaning on the Sam side of it all along with his relationship with Dean.
Home For a Stray by 3oclockrock (AO3)
This one was a hard read for me with the topics but it did peak my interest a bit in its concepts. If your interested in a strange read with more mature topics dealing with struggle and recovery check out this fic.
Faithful Companion by brokenlittleboy (AO3)
I'm still hunting down as much transformation fics that peak my interest and this was one I thought was a great read. Sam's powers go out of control causing him to change into a dog and Dean take a bit of an advantage on him giving him a pink collar.
Nominated by @glygriffe
Did You Hear? by cacholady (AO3)
This is a sweet outsider (mostly school related) POV on Dean. He might not be a dad, but he sure has a way with children! And I love that Bobby John Campbell was a part of this story.
Nominated by harrypotterfanatic1 (AO3)
amoralism by @artyandink
I'm nominating this because it's just caught my eye. It's an AU, based in the world of the FBI and the smut is just AAHH and the sexual tension and all of it is so damn GOOD! There's also a plot around a crime syndicate which includes as many major characters as possible and it's overall a read which I would recommend everyone to check out and leave their feedback on as there's so much to go. Aah, can't stop talking about it! It's the characterization as well, all the characters leap off the page and are so accurate. Definitely felt I should nominate this.
Nominated by @leatafandom
Wingman by cas---2y5 (AO3)
I love Sam's fascination with wings and Gabe helping him organize the bunker. I love how their relationship changes and the how Sam just can't help himself. Plus it's also just so steamy.
we sons of hell and heaven by @gay-destiel
This was such a great read! I love the word usage and descriptions so much! It was so enthralling and the relationships were amazing to watch bloom.
Nominated by @masoena
Living in a Haze by @girlsvmonsters
The story has well thought out plot, smoking hot smut, lots of Dean whump and a red thread of humor that compliments the trauma, angst and comfort perfectly. It is also polyamorous and A/B/O.
Nominated by @rainythursdaynight
Crashing In by @followyourenergy
I'm an angst girl through and through, but sometimes I just really need some fluff and comfort. That's what this fic is, hot chocolate on a (not 2024) cold winter's day, snowed in with a good book. Single parent Cas and kid Jack fics are always so lovely, as are the fics where Dean comes in when Cas needs it most. Even if in this fic it's a literal crash into them, it's fluffy and sweet and heart warming and cozy and everything you could ever want out of a read.
And This, Your Living Kiss by @asecretvice
I'm a sucker for well written stories about well written in-story works. Poet/Writer Dean has some beautiful works sprinkled throughout this fic that the author does so much justice to, his story is heart wrenching in the leave-your-chest-aching-despite-knowing-the-outcome-is-okay-kind-of-way, and I love me a fic about hidden identities. The tension, the prose, the energy: this fic is beautiful, if I only could describe it in one word it'd be that: Beautiful.
Heroes for Ghosts by @pantheonofdiscord
I think I haven't felt such deep yearning as I have felt conveyed through this fic. It reads so tense, like you're waiting for a small crack to let out some of the building up pressure and anxiety but still waiting, and waiting, and aching the way Cas does. And then when that pressure is finally relieved, god is it worth it. The waiting was worth it in the end. This fic is also a masterclass in writing interactions that aren't direct, none of TFW can speak to each other or see each other, but they still move and talk like they can, even if its out of desperation. It acknowledges the empty spaces in each of their lives during the fic, and reminds you in equal parts that they are connected even if the thread is invisible.
The Benjamin Franklin Key-and-Kite Experiment by @deanology101
I'm a sucker for not only time travel, but pre-season 4 deancas meetups. This one hit all the marks. It was tense with mystery, with energy, with passion and secrecy. It left the reader and the characters in equal levels of dark as to why things were happening in the way they were. And it kept characters alive that the show couldn't bother to, and gave the Winchesters some meaningful friendships to boot. This setting IS if Faith Healer had an extended cut, rainy and dreary and electric, but with occasional bouts of light peeking through the clouds. And Dean's Journal Entries? His little doodles? His analogies? Dean's voice was PHENOMENAL in this fic, I highly recommend it to any Dean fans, period.
The Sinking Ship by @crack--attack
I'll offer the note that I wrote down when I bookmarked this fic the first time. "Like bearing a part of my soul open and shining sunlight on it. I ache, but there are new flowers here. There are new flowers and a gentle breeze." This is a story about sacrifice, and love so intense it shakes the planes of the world. It's about story telling and eternity and history inundated by loss and a ticking clock and forgiveness and moving on and love. It's everything I could ever want in a piece of literature. Please, if you have even the slightest interest in Deancas, give this story a read. I read this not even acknowledging some of the ships in this fic but found myself pleasantly surprised by them. Even if you don't like or are impartial to deancas, or sam/rowena/gabe, or claire/maggie, please please PLEASE give this fic a shot. I'm so so glad I did.
The Neighboring Perspective by aileenrose (AO3)
A story about loss, grief, and healing. About loving unconventionally but loving fiercely and fully. About opening old closets and airing them out with hope. It's a shorty so I won't write much, just that if you're interested in moving on from loss, in finding new family, in learning how to love again, give this fic a shot. Plus baby!Ben Braedon is adorable throughout!
Out of the Deep by @riseofthefallenone
This is a behemoth of a fic, and popular if the hits are anything to go by. However, if you haven't read this yet and you're into heavy Mermaid lore, I highly recommend giving it a try! It's heavy at times. Cas is caged and sometimes no matter what they try to do, things don't work out for the protagonists. But they try again, and again, and again and the payoff is very much worth it in the end. Plus there's a whole lot of cathartic payback and BAMF Cas, Dean, Sam, and Jess that makes the high action points of this story edge-of-your-seat fun! And the calmer points much more magical, mystical, and hopeful. I loved it for its found family, for it's incredible lore, and it's fierceness. And when I have the time, I know I'll go back in for a second read.
Nominated by @samanddean76
My Brother's Keeper, My Father's Prisoner by @xpurdyglambertx
An Omegaverse story that starts dark with Dean being trapped by his duties and obligations. It follows him as he struggles to break away from those that are more intent on hurting him, than helping him to grow. With help, he does escape. And he goes on to find a relationship with an OC that you will love and adore. They grow together, while Dean works through all of the pain and trauma that was inflicted upon him by the one that should have protected him. It concludes with happy endings all around, and the possibility of hope for the rest of his days.
Nominated by @sardonic-the-writer
B-Clean by EliDeetz (AO3)
i'm nominating this story mostly because the descriptive nature had me hooked, as did the accurate characterization of gabriel, and the relationship between him and the reader was really enjoyable without feeling forced
Nominated by @spn-fanfic-reblog-writes
The Cherry Pie Club by zation (AO3)
>.< It’s so hard to explain. It’s a great story with angst, fluff, a bit of violence that is an after the fact type description so not too bad imo, and a hopeless romantic story. Zation does it again, ok? They’re an amazing writer and destiel is just *chef’s kiss* for them. I have yet to read a story of theirs that I haven’t enjoyed. I swear! Did I mention a bunch of well written kinky smut that also shows the developing relationship between the main characters and Dean coming to happy terms (with loving support) with his sexuality too. I highly recommend reading!
Stars in Your Eyes by Cigarettes_and_Valentines (AO3)
It is so, so good! It’s perfect. It’s perfect and I love it. Relaxed, Endverse-like Castiel is an amazing Alpha for Omega Dean Winchester, a career-focused man that loves his job. ❤️💙💚
Stars Above, Earth Below by @hellhoundsprey
It’s a love story that is technically a slow burn. It’s so sweet and well done. I love how the author gets Jensen and Jared finally together. It has a lot of A/O vibes imo, which might be why I love it so much. The secrets that come out and how it ends up actually helping in the long run, shows just how dedicated they are to each other. There is some angst but a good amount of smut that is actually necessary for the story. Pay attention to the details or you’ll miss it. 😊
For Appearances Only by @lotus820
It’s an amazing amalgam of urban fantasy, billionaire romance, one-sided enemy to lovers with a decent slow burn, and then everything gets fun, sexy, and dangerous. The love that Castiel has for Dean just keeps showing and showing so easily. Dean can’t help but falling for the being that is Castiel. I love this! This is a new comfort fic. It is amazing. You gotta read it. The title is half the story. 😊
Nominated by @thoughtslikeaminefield
The Fear That Remains by @stusbunker
This fic is nearly 4yrs old, and I've read it multiple times because the characterization is perfect (as Stu is wont to do) and it feels like I'm in the room, whether as a spectator or as the female reader. It's sumptuous and heartfelt, sexy and so, so Dean.
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(Divider by @glygriffe)
THANK YOU ALL, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!
- From your Admins and Manta Rays, @manawhaat, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mariekoukie6661, @thoughtslikeaminefield, @heavenssexiestangel, and @spn-fanfic-reblog-writes!
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dewitty1 · 9 months ago
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Fic Recs Wrap Up January 2024♡(੭ˊ͈ ꒵ˋ͈)੭*・:.。. .。.:*・゜゚・*☆
The Wake-up Kiss by Justlikewriting
This time, when Harry found himself without a date for the Ministry Yule Ball, Parvati Patil was unable to step in. So, he was left with the only other viable option: to ask Draco Malfoy. Which would be fine, of course: it had been twelve years since the war after all. And they saw each other regularly now, meeting up with the same group of friends almost every Friday night. Harry, however, obviously hadn’t taken into account just how insufferable Zacharias Smith could be. Rec Post
The Binding and the Loosing by TheGoblinMatriarch @thegoblinmatriarch
Draco Malfoy is a reclusive academic who works on layered generational magic under the pseudonym Scholar Griseo. When he is contacted by a ‘James Black’ for help with a tricky situation with a magical House, he can’t help but notice the similarities between his potential client and Harry Potter. Since he can’t exactly refuse to help the Saviour of the magical world, Draco girds his loins and visits Grimmauld Place, where he ends up involved in what he must presume is one of those classic Harry Potter misadventures. Bonding, sentient Houses, domesticity ahoy! Rec Post
A True Entanglement by Booktopus @thebooktopus
One moment, Harry was minding his own business, going about his workday, and the next, he found himself being dragged across the Ministry by a red string that had somehow curled up in a pretty little bow around his wrist. A story of fate, smut, falling in love, and a string named Harold. Rec Post
Fire Meet Gasoline by lettersbyelise @lettersbyelise
When Draco’s anger management issues land him in St Mungo’s, he thinks his Quidditch career is over. But Harry, A&E Healer and notorious workaholic, is faced with a similar predicament. To save their jobs, the two of them decide to fake a relationship. All they have to do is convince their friends and employers… and not fall in love in the process. Simple, right? Rec Post
Everything is Relative to You by honeybeet @thehoneybeet
Potter was supposed to have lived. Draco is certain of this. That Potter would no longer walk the earth was tantamount to the sun moving west to east across the sky. If only he could have stopped this from happening, if he’d have known… It comes to him as ideas often did: too late. Or, Harry dreams of his past lives, and Draco is in every one. Rec Post
we’ll keep the king by BlueSundayCake  @bluesundaycake
On a cold December morning, Remus Lupin shows up on Severus Snape’s doorstep with a child with very familiar eyes. Rec Post
Evitative by Vichan  @k-vichan
In the summer before his fifth year at Hogwarts, Harry is drawn to a room in Grimmauld Place. Like the Gryffindor he is, he enters the room without fear. The room is a library, and Harry is surprised to find that he’s eager to learn.
Then he gets the bad news: he’s been accidentally expelled from Hogwarts, and he needs to be sorted again. Everyone is confident that he’ll go straight back to Gryffindor, but with what he’s been learning, Harry’s not so sure. Rec Post
The White Pawn by Soupy_George @soupy-george
When eighteen-year-old Draco Malfoy finds himself back at Hogwarts on the eve of Voldemort’s infamous return, he is confronted with the most difficult decision he’s ever had to make: Relive the 6th year at school he’s tried so hard to forget, or do the unthinkable and ally himself with Potter’s lot… Rec Post
Howlr by partialtopotter @partialtopotter
Howlr is the new dating application enchanting Witches, Wizards and Everyone in between. Are you looking for the one or a one-night stand; it’s all here folks. Howlr is sponsored by Weasley Wizard Wheezes, the same team that brought us the Spellular just two years ago. Ginny Weasley, famed chaser for the Holyhead Harpies, swears by the app, ‘guaranteed to make sparks fly,’ she says. The magic awaits you! Rec Post
Here are a few more fics I've read recently that y'all might like to check out as well!(ノ゚∀゚)ノ━☆゚・*:.。. .。.:*・.*・。゚*:・゚✧
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Inevitable [Drarry] by violenttulips
After the war, Harry Potter becomes a talented Senior Auror with a penchant for injury in defense of his colleagues. Draco Malfoy leaves the country for five years and becomes an accomplished Specialty Healer. He comes back after he accepts a job at St. Mungo's Hospital. When they meet again, it's clear that Draco has changed significantly in the years since they attended Hogwarts together, and Harry finds himself strangely attracted to his former rival. But things never come easy for the Boy-Who-Lived, and that's not about to change now.
Learn To Fly by Ladderofyears @ladderofyears
January 2004: Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter are two of the finest Seekers in England, deadly rivals and secret lovers. As far as Draco is concerned, that's how it'll stay forever. He is betrothed to beautiful heiress Astoria Greengrass, and they are due to have a big summer wedding. Everything changes during a hotly fought Arrows versus Wimbourne game when Draco falls from his broom. To his huge shock, when Draco awakes in St Mungo's, he discovers he is pregnant. What will Draco do, now everything in his tidily compartmentalised life has to change?
He Comes Like a Thunderstorm by korlaena @korlaena
Draco is doing his best to balance the life he wants to live and the life he’s forced to live. He’s nearing the tail-end of a long, post-war probation when Harry Potter crashes back into his life with all the grace of a charging Erumpent, breaking through his carefully constructed rules and routine. Caught up in a whirlwind of sex and lust, Potter unwittingly shows Draco that his life as an Incubus doesn’t have to be as lonely and unfulfilling as he thought, but how long can it last?
Denouement by the_never_was 
Pale face in paler hands, he is devoid of color. He is only the moonlight. And he wonders if he'll find the sun. A story about Draco entering a period of change that will either shatter him or enfold him into Harry Potter's world.
( •ॢ◡-ॢ)-♡ I hope you enjoy these fics as much as I have! Happy reading, y’all! xoxo Carey  (◍•ᴗ•◍)♡ ✧*💜💙💚💛❤💗💕💖
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runningwithmyeyesclosed · 1 month ago
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Evitative by Vichan
Main Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter (There is very little romance)
Type: 5th Year Rewrite - Morally grey harry potter
Explicitness: None
POV: Harry Potter
Word Count: 222,453
Song:
My Summary:
The year before fifth year Harry Potter ends up expelled; luckily it was a mistake so he is able to return to Hogwarts under one condition, he must be resorted. Harry can already guess what that might mean for him, hadn't the sorting hat told him twice already where he belongs? When the sorting hat finally gets his way Harry finds himself in the den of snakes; but Harry is finding that not everything is as cut and dry as it seems.
My Thoughts:
I have a lot of thoughts! Long story short I enjoyed it. It gave me a lot to think about which I think is always a good sign. I wish there was more closure its left very open ended. Other than that it was super well written and a great read. But read on if you want my more in-depth thoughts on it!
I have so many thoughts on this I'm not even sure where to start. So maybe at the beginning. I started this fic twice before i decided to buckle down and finish it.
The first time the size was taunting so I chose a shorter fic. The second time the subject matter was a bit taunting so I chose a softer fic. I this the themes were what stopped me the longest. I finally decided to just do it and I am glad I did.
The writing is very good, it draws you in and is easy to follow. I think the main theme of this book is very complex and I think the author handles it well over all. I think i wish I could see one of these types of stories where Ron isn't a jerk about it haha but it is what it is.
This fic really makes you think about what is good and bad and why you think these things. I think I found myself doubting Harry's actions and whether or not I liked the way the story was headed; however, I do think it was entirely intentional. I think you are meant to doubt meant to question and in that find that there are many ways to do things and many reasons people may choose the things they do.
I do have to say, I liked all the characters and how they were written. None of them felt like caricatures of a type of person. For example Ron was a bad friend and didn't believe in Harry but he was a person raised a certain way with a set of beliefs, this feels more real than some other portrayals I've read where Ron is just almost goofy with how much he is a bad friend. Hermione is still Hermione in all the ways that matter but she was told her whole magical life that dark magic was bad so she is understandably distrustful of it. The Slytherins who were raised with hateful ideals aren't suddenly going to stop having those ideals because Harry becomes a Slytherin. All these things made sense to me and didn't feel forced or goofy.
The one thing I have to point out because I wasn't aware was it is only of year 5. I wish I had more it's no one's fault and I know that some people prefer an open end; but, I really kind of felt we didn't get enough a payoff for all of the growing and thinking that Harry did. I know there is a sequel; however it hasn't been updated in a little over two years if it gets updated I may pick it up. On its own though this is a very good fic. I wish there was more closure to the overall plot line of Harry choosing dark but that is what it is. I can't say enough though,  how well written it was and how much I have been thinking about this fic the last couple of days.
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esuemmanuel · 1 year ago
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Me han llamado «soberbio, egocéntrico y cruel» por expresar mis sentimientos, por atreverme a hablar desde la frustración que causan las heridas que se me han hecho, por defender mis derechos y mi individualidad. Me han tachado, señalado, escupido y juzgado por el simple hecho de escribir lo que llevo en las entrañas; lo que me duele, lo que me arde, lo que me entristece y enoja. Pero, entonces… ¿Qué es ser un escritor? ¿Es ser un alguien que escribe sólo palabras hermosas que acarician egos que se creen almas? ¿Es aquel que calla sus dolores, su ira, su decepción para no ofender a quienes lo lean y así evite ser crucificado? No entiendo a la gente que defiende al delincuente, mientras a la víctima se la acusa de «soberbia y cruel» por decir su verdad, por hacer uso de su oficio para tratar de defenderse. No entiendo ni entenderé la falta de empatía, la ausencia de sentido común y raciocinio, la nula capacidad de análisis. Yo aquí soy el ofendido, ya que he sido víctima de algo que, por ser constante en las redes (ya ni qué decir en el mundo), se toma como algo “normal”. Cualquiera puede robarte las letras, apropiarse de tu identidad, hacer fechorías bajo tu nombre ¡y yo me lo tengo que callar! ¡Me lo tengo que tragar para no ofender, para no lacerar, para no caer mal! Ah, porque si lo digo, me dicen «soberbio, cruel y egocéntrico». ¿Qué pasa en este mundo? ¿Qué sucede en realidad? ¿A quién se está defendiendo y bajo qué argumentos? ¡Síganme diciendo igual! ¡Soy soberbio, cruel y putamente egocéntrico! ¡Y lo seguiré siendo mientras se trate de defender con la sangre de mis venas lo que amo! Porque, yo no sé ustedes, pero yo escribo de manera seria, no lo hago como pasatiempo. Basta ya de proyectar sus inseguridades ante los que se atreven a amarse, defenderse y creer en ellos mismos ¡carajo! Si les duelen mis letras, váyanse en silencio, no tienen que escupirme a la cara su opinión y, si quieren opinar, háganlo como lo hago yo, en su bendito espacio enfrente de sus benditos seguidores, pues para eso se tiene un lugar propio para expresar lo que se tiene en la puta alma ¿a mí en qué me va a ayudar su opinión si es para señalarme lo «cruel y soberbio» que soy? Yo escribo en mi espacio y soy libre de hacerlo, como ustedes son libres de opinar en sus espacios lo que no les guste y dejar de seguir a quien les incomode con su franqueza.
I have been called "arrogant, self-centered and cruel" for expressing my feelings, for daring to speak out of the frustration caused by the wounds that have been inflicted on me, for defending my rights and my individuality. I have been branded, singled out, spit on and judged for the simple fact of writing what I carry in my guts; what hurts me, what burns me, what saddens and angers me. But, then... What is it to be a writer? Is it to be someone who writes only beautiful words that caress egos that believe they are souls? Is it to be someone who keeps silent about his pains, his anger, his disappointment so as not to offend those who read him and thus avoid being crucified? I do not understand the people who defend the offender, while the victim is accused of "arrogance and cruelty" for speaking his truth, for using his profession to try to defend himself. I do not and will not understand the lack of empathy, the absence of common sense and reasoning, the null capacity of analysis. I am the offended one here, since I have been a victim of something that, for being constant in the networks (let alone in the world), is taken as something "normal". Anyone can steal your lyrics, appropriate your identity, do misdeeds under your name and I have to keep quiet about it! I have to swallow it so as not to offend, not to hurt, not to be disliked! Ah, because if I say it, they call me "arrogant, cruel and egocentric". What is going on in this world? What is really going on? Who is being defended and under what arguments? Keep telling me the same thing! I am arrogant, cruel and fucking egocentric! And I will continue to be so as long as I try to defend with the blood of my veins what I love! Because, I don't know about you, but I write seriously, I don't do it as a hobby. Enough of projecting your insecurities before those who dare to love, defend and believe in themselves, for fuck's sake! If my lyrics hurt you, go away in silence, you don't have to spit your opinion in my face and, if you want to give your opinion, do it as I do, in your blessed space in front of your blessed followers, because that's why you have your own place to express what you have in your fucking soul, how is your opinion going to help me if it's to point out how "cruel and arrogant" I am? I write in my space and I am free to do so, as you are free to express in your spaces what you do not like and stop following those who bother you with their frankness.
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youngerfrankenstein · 3 months ago
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Ranking the I, Robot Stories
9. Escape!
One of the two stories that didn’t make the anthology I initially read and I can understand why. It’s not a BAD story necessarily, but it’s not a particularly interesting puzzle or a particularly satisfying answer. A couple of fun scenes though. It’s just okay.
8. Catch That Rabbit
The other one I hadn’t read but I do think this one’s a better story with a better punchline. Don’t think I have that much to say about this one beyond I get it Dave.
7. Runaround
Goofy little story this one! Not super clever or anything but a fun romp with “how are we going to sober up this robot before we fry to death?” As the driving question.
6. Liar!
This is probably the turning point where we get to stories I really like. Even with the dumb sexist nonsense. The concept of a robot with psychic abilities trying SO hard not to hurt any feelings or crush any dreams doing more harm and ultimately just breaking down from the impossibility of its situation is just a neat concept. Poor Herbie :( Also I love you Susan but what the fuck?
5. Robbie
IT’S CUTE OKAY?!
4. Evidence
Pretty much what it says, laying out the evidence? Is Stephen Byerley a robot? …I mean I don’t know. I actually really like that the answer is never given (maybe it was elsewhere I dunno) because the point is more that it doesn’t matter. Kind of a clever little game of cat-and-mouse and I enjoy it.
3. Little Lost Robot
Probably the best of the anthology in terms of the puzzle. Again something of a battle of wits with growing tension and stakes. I like watching our protagonists puzzle things out against an incredibly clever robot.
2. Reason
I really, really like this one. Robot finds religion. Because it is, after all, reasonable. And who ever heard of two humans being able to create something clearly more useful than themselves. Just really enjoy it from a philosophical perspective. People, and robots apparently, tend to think they are reasoning beings when… more often than not it’s not quite true. After all one can reason out anything they want.
The Evitable Conflict
But I do think the book saved its best for last. On one hand just laying out how the world is functioning in the world of this set of stories, but also slowly uncovering a strange and sinister truth. Or is it sinister? Personally I am sometimes a fan of a story giving you an strange scenario but leaving it up to the reader if it is a good or a bad thing. Because honestly I wouldn’t be sure.
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cinderella-ish · 2 months ago
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Fic Reading Bingo: Blackout!
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I finished with a blackout!
Okay, two caveats:
I've been dealing with the logout issue recently, so as I've been going back to make sure I've commented and left kudos on everything, I haven't been able to do so for every fic. I will keep at it until I get them all, though!
I'm actually still reading my fic of choice for "vampire AU" but I'm going to include it anyway because I'm pretty sure I'll be reading straight through to the end as soon as I'm done writing this post. (It's really good, y'all.)
This summer, I read 70 fics in 2 languages, 11 different fandoms, and by 67 authors, and that's an undercount, because A) 3 of those "fics" are actually entire series, and B) I read countless oneshots from OnigiriCat4Ever's various collections, but it was hard to figure out which ones I read this summer just by going through my history. I also found 2 new-to-me favorite authors (AO3: AveSolace and ohmygodwhy) and wrote or started 10 of my own fics while continuing my 2 WIPs.
I filled most of the squares without trying, just by doing my usual reading (okay, a bit more than my usual, since I don't work summers). Some were outside my comfort zone, like Omegaverse, or hard to find, like a fic with multiple authors. I probably still won't seek out Omegaverse in the future, but I don't think I'll avoid it, either. I enjoyed the fic I read, and I did mark a couple of others for later.
I very much avoided crossovers before this summer, but the one I read for this was beyond delightful, I marked several more for later, and I started writing two of my own!
Additionally, I met my goal of using only fics I love to fill out this card! I moved some around since last time to fill different squares, and swapped a couple out so I could let a few more fics shine. I'm sure you'll be seeing most of these in my next fic recs post!
List below the cut! Fandoms included are as follows:
Astra Lost in Space
Fruits Basket
The Hunger Games
JuJutsu Kaisen
Ouran High School Host Club
She-Ra and the Princesses of Power
Spy X Family
Crossover | of cats and curses, by faerialchemist Fruits Basket & She-Ra and the Princesses of Power | Tohru/Kyo, Adora/Catra | 6666 words Catradora meets Kyoru. As you might expect, chaos ensues.
Small Fandom | a piece of the sky, by evitably Astra Lost in Space | Luca/Ulgar | 2840 words Every person has a place they can claim as their own. Ulgar's happens to be another person.
Oldest Fic | Loophole, by Geoduck Fruits Basket | Gen | 463 Words Kyo has lost the bet. Akito demands that Kyo meet the terms of the agreement. There's only one teensy-weensy, itsy-bitsy problem...
Whump | End of the Banquet, by AveSolace Fruits Basket | Tohru/Kyo, Machi/Yuki | 55,197 words* (WIP) All the geopolitical tension in East Asia has come to a head. China has invaded Taiwan, and Japan is immediately drawn into the conflict. The Sohmas' lives are thrown into chaos, even as the Zodiac curse remains unbroken.
Character Study | 5 Times Shigure Claimed to be Selfish + 1 Time He Admitted the Truth, by TolkienScholar23 Fruits Basket | Gen | 1838 words* (WIP) Shigure insists he's the worst kind of man, and most people don't question him… and yet, somehow, his younger cousins tend to find themselves on his doorstep every time they're in trouble.
Rarepair | Setting Sail, Coming Home, by redelric Fruits Basket | Momiji/Kimi | 11,673 words Momiji claims his stake in his father’s business. Kimi is his secretary.
Multiple Authors | About Midnight, by CSHfic, VSfic Spy x Family | Loid/Yor | 2222 words The Forgers are invited to a party on New Year's Eve.
Magic | bone-white, soaked through, by chuuyasoup JuJutsu Kaisen | Geto/Gojo | 5166 words Satoru does not survive his fight with Toji. He doesn't stay dead, either.
Canon Compliant | Fourth Trimester, by AveSolace Fruits Basket | Gen | 6741 words Four and a half vignettes about the Zodiacs as newborns.
Omegaverse | Made Together, by Moonstorm69 Fruits Basket | Machi/Yuki | 13,121 words Yuki, a Beta, has spent most of his life hating his secondary gender. Yet when Machi enters her rut for the first time, Yuki is the perfect man to help his anxious, terrified girlfriend through this, if only she'd let him in…
Secret Relationship | All That, by himawaribees (series) JuJutsu Kaisen | Megumi/Yuji | 80,776 words* (WIP) Fushiguro Megumi and Itadori Yuuji first meet at a frat party and proceed to have lots and lots of sex.
Secret Identity | The Cost for Silence, by AveSolace Fruits Basket | Tohru/Kyo, Machi/Yuki | 56,711 words Someone has an axe to grind with the Sohmas, and they've managed to find the perfect piece of blackmail to use against them. And this person is willing to keep the incriminating evidence to themselves--for a price.
Free Space | an inch away (from more than just friends), by ohmygodwhy Fruits Basket | Kakeru/Yuki | 12,034 words Six years after high school graduation, Tohru and Kyo finally get married. Kakeru tags along as Yuki's plus-one. Reunions, bonding, and eye-opening revelations ensue.
Short Fic | La fièvre de Tohru (Fr)/Tohru's Fever (En) by Soffya Fruits Basket | Tohru/Kyo | 576 words (Fr)/588 words (En) Kyo took off his shoes, the house seemed empty. He went up when he heard a noise. Apparently, he was not alone in the house. Someone was coughing.
Take Your Fandom to Work | My Brother, by OnigiriCat4Ever Fruits Basket | Gen | 58,867 words Momiji has made a new life for himself in Germany. He has a job he enjoys, a boyfriend he loves, and a life that makes him happier than he'd felt in a very long time. It wasn't perfect, but it was happy, and he was satisfied…until Momo asked if they could talk.
Old Favorite | inertia, by miss_coverly (series) Fruits Basket | Tohru/Kyo | 59,032 words Kyoru Friends With Benefits AU
Unfinished/Work in Progress | desiderium, by tessohma Fruits Basket | Kakeru/Yuki | 22,502 words* (WIP) Yukeru Friends With Benefits AU
BIPOC Main Character | reaching across years, by ohmygodwhy Fruits Basket | Gen | 4559 words Shigure asked Ayame to collect some of Yuki’s things. Ayame said: okay. I’ll do it. I’ll do it tomorrow, in fact. 
Vampire AU | Bloodlust, by Aa_chanFan Fruits Basket | Tohru/Akito | 13,852 words* (WIP) Girl meets beautiful stranger, beautiful stranger turns out to be a vampire. Yet Tohru Honda is not as easy prey as she seems…
5+ Year Old Fic | Due Diligence, by galaxysoup Ouran High School Host Club | Gen | 1841 words Kyoya goes to Haruhi for parenting advice.
Under the Influence | Think we kissed, but I forgot, by cold_flame Fruits Basket | Kakeru/Kyo | 38,163 words Kakeru and Kyo meet at a party. Things escalate quickly.
Future AU | The miner's wife, by MockingJayFlyingFree The Hunger Games | Katniss/Peeta | 142,741 words In an alternate universe in which Prim was never reaped, Katniss married Gale at the age of 18, and Peeta Mellark became the lone victor of the 74th Hunger Games. What happens when their paths cross for the first time since that fateful incident with the bread?
Unhappy/Bittersweet Ending | In a Year or So Fruits Basket | Akito/Kureno | 3786 words A bleak look at Akito and Kureno’s relationship.
Ghosts | Magic, by alchemicink Fruits Basket | Tohru/Kyo | 1867 words Kyo helps Tohru get ready for Halloween
Soulmates | our dreams are not our own, by AnxietyAvocado Fruits Basket | Tohru/Kyo | 1460 words they say that your dreams are your soulmate's memories
@ficreadingchallenge
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stassilovesreading · 10 months ago
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Hey everyone! This is my new account because in my previous one there was a bit of chaos so for those of you who don't know me here are some facts.
Name: Anastasia
Interests: Reading romance books, manga/manhwa , anime, and most recently drarry fanfiction!!!
Favorite Fanfiction: Running on Air, HP and the Welcome to the World of Grey, Lily's Boy, The Rewards of Being Loved, Secrets, Evitative...
Favorite Shows: Criminal Minds, Supernatural, The Vampire Diaries, Once Upon a time, Teen Wolf...
Favorite Anime: One Piece, Sasaki and Miyano, Junjou Romantica, Naruto Shippuden, Kamisama Kiss
Favorite Manga: Sasaki and Miyano, Seraph of the End, A Condition Called Love
Favorite Book Series: Origin, From Blood and Ash, ACOTAR, Cat and Mouse Duet, Everything Catherine Cowles, All Rhodes Lead Here...
Favorite Book Genres: Small Town romance, Dark Romance
Favorite Games: God of War 2018, Elden Ring, Tekken, Fortnite, Animal Crossing...
I'm mostly active on Twitter but I thought I would also try this app!
Anyway that's pretty much most of my interests! Let's go have some fun!!!
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remapped-soul · 2 years ago
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✨ A fic you wish you could read again for the first time 😭 A fic that ripped your heart out (but it hurt so good) 🤔 The first fic you think of when I say [tea]
hi twin and wife <3
✨ A fic you wish you could read again for the first time
i can't rec corrida and lonely hearts club again. oh! i know!
evitative - by vichan - hp au with harry going to slytherin in his 5th year. i cannot - and i mean it - i cannot express how much i adore this fic. it's everything hp should have been but it isn't it. it's found family (in the slytherin house). it's an exploration of the magic world as it should have been done. it's everything.
😭 A fic that ripped your heart out (but it hurt so good)
i cannot rec lonely heart club again. luna dont do it.
pale fire by @lyonsbutton - sebchal university au - for a very long time after reading this fic i didn't know what to do with myself. it hurts so good, it s so beautifully written. it builds the characters' life so beautifully, like a tapestry, no scene feels extra or superfluous. it hurts and i adore it.
🤔 The first fic you think of when I say [tea]
the contest between - batman - another fic from batman!! a haikyuu story, restaurant au + chef's table au centered around akaashi/osamu. the way batman describes the food, the settings, their feelings. absolutely incredible. i adore it.
Fic Recs (Ask Meme)
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reggieblaack · 2 years ago
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rule: tag people you want to know better and or catch up with, then answer these questions below!
yay thank u for tagging me @moonymoonbeam <333 tagging @hellomagicalsouls and @wolfylupin
three ships: ok i'm going to choose three diff fandoms bc otherwise these will all be harry potter ones lmao. for hp im going with jegulus. i love blackstede atm because ofmd is so <33. third one has got to be daemyra pls dont crucify me for that.
last song: glaive is my fav artist of all time and his song bastard has been on repeat. also sad4whattt and likewise by ericdoa
currently reading: fic wise i just started evitative by vichan. ive also been reading little women when im feeling cozy and want something cute.
last movie: i think little women?? im a slut for timothee
craving: affection. i am a lil lonely lately and just want some kisses tbh (but also i love being left alone at all time so idk)
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xiaoluclair · 11 months ago
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5 & 17 for the fic rec ask game!
5. longest fic you read this year?
oh EASY, this hp fic (Evitative) that's [checks notes (ao3 stats)] 222453 words long, the spanish translation of which is 222222 words long which i find absolutely.
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17. a fic that felt like a warm blanket?
oof okay so this one tested me bc my memory is TERRIBLE so i can only remember things within the last.... half second, and the first fic that came to mind is this (Less of a Hobby, More of a Fixation) [j.eisenberg/a.garfield] and then i started going back through my history and what do i find but tasty [lando/oscar] by higgsbosonblues and yeah. that. that.
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rjhamster · 1 year ago
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Just in: Sandra Hutter is now on Evite 🍄🦜🌼🐶
Sandra Hutter Mushrooms, groovy flowers and so much more for summer + beyond. Browse Her Invitations Read Her Q&A Party like you’re in the Hamptons Go BTS and take inspo from WhoWhatWear’s summer soirées. Read All About It Make it even more unmissable with our new invitations. Browse Outdoor Fun Invitations A berry delicious summer cocktail Try this refreshingly easy cocktail recipe for…
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unitywedding · 1 year ago
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Couples Shower
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Couples Shower: A Fun and Practical Way to Celebrate Your Love If you are looking for a way to celebrate your upcoming wedding or anniversary with your friends and family, you might want to consider throwing a couples shower. A couples shower is a party where both the bride and groom (or the spouses) are honored and showered with gifts, unlike a traditional bridal shower where only the bride is the focus. A couples shower can be a fun and practical way to celebrate your love and prepare for your future together. Here are some benefits of having a couples shower: - You can share the spotlight with your partner and enjoy the attention together. - You can invite guests of both genders and have a more diverse and lively crowd. - You can receive gifts that are useful for both of you, such as household items, travel accessories, or experiences. - You can choose a theme that reflects your personality and interests as a couple, such as a barbecue, a game night, or a wine tasting. - You can save time and money by having one party instead of two. How to Plan a Couples Shower Planning a couples shower is similar to planning any other party, but there are some things you should keep in mind: - Choose a date and time that works for both of you and your guests. Avoid conflicting with other pre-wedding events, such as bachelor/bachelorette parties or rehearsal dinners. - Choose a venue that can accommodate your guest list and your theme. You can have it at your home, a restaurant, a park, or any other place that suits your style. - Choose a host or hosts who can help you organize and run the party. You can ask your maid of honor, best man, parents, siblings, or friends to take on this role. Make sure they know your preferences and expectations. - Choose a theme that matches your personality and interests as a couple. You can go for something traditional, such as a tea party or a garden party, or something more creative, such as a fiesta, a luau, or a casino night. You can also base your theme on your hobbies, your favorite movies, or your travel destinations. - Choose invitations that reflect your theme and send them out at least four weeks before the party. You can use online platforms, such as Evite or Paperless Post, or print out physical cards. Make sure to include all the important details, such as the date, time, location, RSVP information, registry information (if any), and dress code (if any). - Choose decorations that complement your theme and create a festive atmosphere. You can use balloons, banners, streamers, flowers, candles, or anything else that suits your style. You can also add some personal touches, such as photos of you and your partner, or signs with cute quotes or messages. - Choose food and drinks that fit your theme and satisfy your guests. You can have a full meal, a buffet, or finger foods, depending on the time of day and the formality of the party. You can also have a cake or cupcakes with your names or initials on them. For drinks, you can have alcoholic or non-alcoholic beverages, such as champagne, cocktails, mocktails, soda, juice, or water. - Choose games and activities that are fun and engaging for everyone. You can have traditional games, such as trivia, bingo, or charades, or more interactive games, such as scavenger hunt, karaoke, or dance-off. You can also have some icebreakers to help your guests mingle and get to know each other better. - Choose favors that are thoughtful and memorable for your guests. You can give them something related to your theme, such as sunglasses for a beach party or wine glasses for a wine tasting. You can also give them something personalized with your names or initials on them. A couples shower is a great way to celebrate your love and bond with your friends and family before you tie the knot or mark another milestone in your relationship. With some planning and creativity, you can throw an unforgettable party that everyone will enjoy. Read the full article
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dzpenumbra · 2 years ago
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3/3/23
Today started with big goals. Was interrupted with unexpected and sudden mixed news. And is likely ending with severe loss.
I'm tired. I'm fucking spent. I'm being eroded.
That's the big part of my art work that's a constant right now. Erosion. Weathering. It's the mirror of what my life has been. Enduring the punishments of the world, most undeserved. And just... staying the course. Enduring.
And I'm just... It's hard to not feel like I'm stupid. Like there isn't a better way. That I don't have to go through this. Especially not alone.
Like... I know that death happens, and it's inevitable. And illness. But selfish cruelty? Refusing compassion? Making others suffer because of your suffering? That is... evitable? XD That is optional.
It leaves me with few good choices. Few choices that line up with my personality and my ethics, and most of them will likely force me into a place life-wise where... I will lose track of Me again. I will become a survivor not within this false cocoon, but within the framework of a life that is not my own. Wearing a suit, masquerading as a "normal person". Just to earn money. Just to pay bills. Just to keep the fake life alive. Just so I don't get routinely abused and manipulated by my "supporters".
I feel like Job. Honestly. Maybe I should go back and study the story some more before comparing, it's been a while. I read something in passing about it being partially about... holding your tongue. And maybe I need to work on that. Really... hard to think about interacting with and trusting people less when you have zero social life... But I don't know, maybe there's a Chinese Fingertrap kinda effect going on there.
Either way. I'm pissed off. I'm in profound emotional pain. And my rental car is disappearing tomorrow. "Thank god" and "fuck I'm stranded" all wrapped into one. And they're likely going to be calling me in 5 hours to check on my availability today... because apparently they don't know what a night shift is... and I have to like... explain fucking boundaries to people... but yeah. That whole thing is so raw that I don't even want to think about it here. Honestly. The pain is too recent and too deep what happened because of one fucking simple phone call that wasn't even to me.
I'm going to try to sleep. I've been sleeping with my staff/walking stick in my bed with me, holding it in my hand. I've had it for about 10 years, it's been on a long journey with me, through a lot of dangerous situations. I practiced and trained quarterstaff fighting techniques with it for about 2 years. And at the darkest of nights, it has sat as a sentinel in my room, always within a step or two of me. And lately, I've been feeling so much danger around me that I sleep with it in my hand. Like a gun under the pillow for a monk. So... point being... I was having trouble sleeping before this. Tonight... I don't know what's going to happen.
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