#gm foods

[kazz-brekker]

i spent slightly too long trying to explain this to my mom at dinner tonight but i find the shifting public perception of sauron as a classic fantasy villain due to the rings of power to be EXTREMELY entertaining. i never actually read lord of the rings as a kid, but i did watch all the movies, so my perception of sauron was very much the flaming eyeball on a tower/faceless figure in armor concept that's the common pop culture image of him. and i do remember pretty clearly that when i was a freshman in college, the gm of my first dnd game was someone who was really into lotr and all the tolkien lore, which is how i found out about the whole "sauron is the middle-earth equivalent of a fallen angel and used to be really beautiful" bit of lore. at the time i definitely got the sense that this was a more obscure bit of tolkien's mythos (and having read the books i can confirm it's not really something that's mentioned in it). but now, because of the rings of power, anyone who's watched the show, or even seen promo images and video clips, now knows that not only sauron used to have a human form, but he was really hot and would go around using his hotness to seduce people into evil. everyone knows this! it's not an obscure bit of lore only silmarillion fans know anyone! this just an extremely entertaining development to me, and also makes me very curious if in fifteen years charlie vickers is going to be as strongly associated with sauron as viggo mortensen is with aragorn and elijah wood is with frodo baggins.

[lycankeyy]

Funkycule fun fact #2884782: because penilians are hypercarnivores, they have evolved out of the ability to taste sweet things. Due to this, the penilian equivalent of candy is typically based on saltiness. Pringles are like candy to penilians

[hiddenstashart]

throwback to that time I painted & pasted up a white-eyed buzzard, holding a breakfast sando they call Buzzards Bay, at this eatery in NE Portland

[cpericardium]

strange ward thing

It's weird that everyone in Cauldron, a conspiracy kept secret for decades, has such loose lips about Contessa's birth name. Like sure maybe Contessa told Number Man at some point (and Custo overheard). But then he goes blabbing it to Citrine??? And Legend somehow knows even though he didn't know about the alien in the basement??? The gossip at the interdimensional watercooler gets wild, man.

[randomnameless]

Fodlan AU : while shuffling stuff in the Monastery (or trying to find to whom belongs the trash they picked on the ground), Billy notices a new batch of books sent to the Monastery about cooking - they wonder why those things are sent to a military academy, but suddenly become very interested when they happen on a treaty titled "express yourself through your cooking".

Of course, still being self-conscious about their perceived lack of emotions, they borrow the book and study it seriously, wanting to participate in an upcoming Garreg Mach fair and cook stuff for everyone, so they will finally be able to express their feelings clearly.

Jerry calls it a waste of time, but Billy doesn't give up and asks Rhea if they can use the kitchen, to train. Rhea agrees, with the only condition being that they don't reveal a thing to Seteth, and that Billy's failed "creations" shouldn't be thrown away and wasted, but given to various people in the monastery.

Yuri thus heard some people in the Abyss notice that they got an influx of mashed potatoes and "oddly" cut turnips, surely a sign that the Church is soon going to purge them, but didn't pay any attention.

After a few days, Billy despairs when Rhea tells them that their mashed turnips and potatoes taste nice, but it's merely mashed turnips and potatoes, not something that would represent Billy. They then wonder if they should add ingredients they like, but they remembered that was what Flayn does, and her food is not edible.

They ask Manuela for pointers - she tells them she always add a lot of fat in her soups, sure, some might rant about weight gain and whatnot, but there's nothing like a good bowl of rich and comforting soup to raise her morale after being dumped (or after "backstage work" in Mittelfrank, but she's never going to reveal this to anyone - she just happened to have taught Dorothea the recipe after her own "rehearsals").

Yuri's friends then called him to ask him why the Church was suddenly giving them a lot of soup, which prompted him to ask Rhea what was going on, but she merely told him it was a preparation for the next fair.

Ultimately, Rhea taught Billy the same secret skill she taught Sitri back then : how to give cute animal shapes to fruits and turnips (something Seiros the Warrior demonstrated back then to an excited Lycaon who refused to eat his veggies - of course, it was totally not inspired by something she remembered from her childhood when one of her older brothers (the one who became Thyrsus) told her that turnips taste better if they're cut to look like something else than mere turnips !).

Sitri refined the art and managed to arrange even fruit slices to look like rabbits or even, with enough patience, to look like a swan !

Billy sticks, for now, to the rabbit shapes and flowers, but overheard Supreme Leader mention how Adrestian Imperial cuisine is much more classier that the nonsense they're forced to eat in this dreaded monastery, for one of her birthdays, the cooks made a crystallised dragon head with sugar and she loved it so much that she tore through it without any reservation.

Intrigued by Billy's shenanigans, the Blue Lions believe it's a new form of training - only Mercie believes Billy might want to help organise and participate in the fair.

They nod, but feel bad about lying because they don't want to confess it's to finally become able to convey their feelings. When they tell Seteth, he scoffs : food is food, sure a meal prepared lovingly by someone is nice, but isn't every meal prepared for someone is cooked lovingly? It's already an attention and gesture in itself, which of course makes the cook a bit upset when the "someone" refuse to eat it, for foolish reasons like it doesn't have ketchup, or they don't like beets.

Flayn and Rhea tell Billy to not listen to him, and to surprise everyone at the fair with either cute shaped fruits/vegetables, or with decorated biscuits !

(Billy overheard Cyril complain to Shamir about Lady Rhea treating him like a child, since the biscuits she gives him always have some :) face, sure they taste good, but why the :) face? - which makes them realise that Rhea's feelings weren't properly conveyed through her biscuits, since Cyril didn't grasp them - but they missed the part where Shamir sighed in turn, and told Cyril that he really is a child).

Sticking to the fruits and veggies, they are forced to kick out Dimitri from the kitchens after he turned it in a bloodbath (peeling potatoes with a crest of Blaiddyd is a nightmare) and sent him to Manuela.

Felix calls this a waste of time, food is food it's meant to be eaten, there's no need to work on his skill with a knife and anyways, a Lord's duty is to protect his people, not to cook for them, but when Sylvain tells him he definitely remembers kid!Felix being upset because he tried to carve a crest of fraldarius on a biscuit to offer it to his mother but he couldn't manage to do anything but turn that biscuit in dust.

Felix calls him an imbecile and storms out.

Come the Garreg Mach fair and some pilgrims, residents of the monastery or even students visit, pick some stuff to eat and go on their merry way.

Billy's overjoyed when some kids tell them "thanks" and eat their creations, but only Ignatz is the one who noticed how irregular the shapes and cuts were, and made the link with Billy's sudden absence at the choir. Did the professor organise and prepare this food stall themselves?

Obviously, Supreme Leader wanted to taste the things her dearest "professor" prepared, even if is nothing like the crystallised sugar from her memories. The carrots are plain enough, but somehow, she feels it's less of a hassle to eat than what she would have expected. Praising Billy on their talents, she chokes on said carrot when Billy tells her it was a skill Rhea taught them. Hubert promptly requisitionned one of Ferdie's creampuffs - imported from the finest artisan in Enbarr, perfect for tea time! - for her, explaining that her palate is very refined and is not used to "common" food.

Billy ends the journey proud of themselves and even smiling, to Jerry's surprise, because they feel like they made a lot of people smile.

Rhea then asks them if they want to participate in the next fair, Billy wholeheartedly agrees and promises to master that "skill" for the millenium festival.

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Guess who's turning in their two week's notice today??!?

[valenhubb]

Today’s breakfast 🌻

[luna-the-cretar]

A snow cone truck driver stopped by my workplace (for context, I work at a pizza place and he stopped by picking up food), and my coworker went to the truck to get a snow cone, and asked our new GM to come with her (she was nervous going out there by herself), and the new GM just. Got me a snow cone.

I didn’t ask him to bring me one. He just grabbed an extra just in case anyone else wanted one.

So now he’s my new favorite GM, out of the 3 we’ve had since I started working here.

[citrus-sours]

the kitsune mcdonalds must be such a humbling experience for entitled customers really. unless its umetaro youre yelling at youre getting met with the blankest stare imaginable if not worse. you ask for the manager and some 14 year old in business shorts as part of his uniform and sock garters rolls up. you ask for HIS manager and he leaves and a freakishly similar but very leggy man comes out. you ask for HIS supervisor and you have to wait 35 minutes for the hot pink bitch named breakfast to roll up not in uniform with nails long enough to break pocket knife regulations for airplanes and shes just like "ohhh okayyyy thats too bad :3" and during this time the guy working the grill has started enough almost fires they have the 30 yr old going on 50 standing there with a fire extinguisher but he looks just suicidal enough to not pull the trigger next time. magical.

YOU UNDERSTAND MY IMAGE SO MUCH.

[kyunniebuns]

"men tend to sit with their legs open to assert dominance and power."

Jin-woo:

WHY THOSE LEGS SO SPREAD OPEN, MY LORD. YOU WANT ME TO SIT ON IT?!—//SLAPPEDD

Ngl Jinwoo's lap would be the most comfortable seat ever. Minus the fact that he's probably taller than 6'5 and my short ass being 5'0 having dangly feet im this pathetic

[simulation-machine]

The exact topics of the "fights" Ed and Stormy had didn't really matter in the end, but they always left him with important messages. This one, for instance, the lesson was: There is a qualitative difference between the New York, French, and Classic versions of vanilla ice cream.

[sadboyanonymous]

y'all wanna share my pineapple with me? i cut it myself and everything

[mirrortouchedsea]

everyone pray our fucking franchise owners let us close tomorrow for the snow storm so i can sit and write post apocalypse tatuskanas instead of being productive

[thedenofravenpuff]

Quick little doodle of @clear-skies-gm’s fox Night, enjoying a little snack after a hard day’s work. 

Enjoy! 

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[frvitemoji]

sometimes life is about a coffee and a croissant

[25-worms-in-a-trenchcoat]

pls when will i be free from the hell that is employment in the food service industry