#glass journal
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Something that’s been weighing on me which I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned a million times b4 is I miss when I could make art. It used to fulfill something within but it’s been so long I can’t remember. My anxiety and ocpd reached a point where drawing is not just drawing. I don’t get into the flow. I’m constantly thinking, erasing, and I end up hating it and the fact that I wasted time even doing it.
And it’s definitely the mental illness acting up but I’m not really sure what to do about it. Nothing ever feels right and it’s an eye sore. I find myself thinking I should draw but I know I’m gonna hate it sighhh it’s just this constant going back and forth that art has no rules but I just can’t…
I’ll be really sad to find out that I lost that magic I had when I was 17.
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In Knives Out Blanc wanted to do the murder mystery investigation with Marta so bad, but she was certain she was guilty so she spent a good amount of the movie avoiding/hiding stuff from him
Meanwhile in Glass Onion Helen was fucking carrying the investigation, even while accidentally getting drunk, and even went to investigation lengths Blanc was hesitant to do
#knives out#glass onion#ko: marta actively ruins evidence due to her perceived guilt. blanc knew the entire time she was innocent or ill intent#go: helen fucking diving forward to eavesdrop on duke/miles/whiskey better. helen tossing a tape recorder in birdie's bag. helen listening#in on lionel & claires freak out at the pool. helen did all the research on her sisters journals to get as into the role as possible#marta only standing up for her rightful inheritance at the end after everything vs helen down to ruin those shitheads from the start#i love these movies & the duality in the chars/victims & how it ends. marta gets the house. helen burns miles' down. its just!!!!! AHHH#i just rewatched knives out again so i can rewatch glass onion again tomorrow. im so normal about this series#tc posts#*of ill intent gdi. tumblr mobile let me edit tags
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Journal 3’s references to Stan
(…does the Lost Pages count as J3 when some had to be in J2 and also may or may not be a truth lie turducken? idk. Ford’s TBoB letters sure as hell don’t count as J3 but I’m including them here anyway)
Lost Journal Pages
"STANLEY COULD HAVE MADE HER LAUGH"
“My stomach sank a bit when I realized… it was my birthday. This day has felt… odd, since S and I… parted ways.”
"I was adjusting my TV antennae for weather reports (looking for ideal conditions for F's first portal test) and spat out my coffee when I saw THIS! My brother hawking scams under the name "Panley Stines." I had half a mind to call that number, just to pretend to be the police and maybe scare S straight for once! There is something so galling about seeing your OWN FACE committing crimes on your own TV! When my Muse saw me break my stress ball, I decided it was finally time to vent about Stanley."
""How about that; you've got an inferior clone! Why didn't you just eat him in the womb? Think of how powerful you'd be!"
"You can't just eat your twin, Bill."
You'd be surprised what you can eat! I say sure, call him if you want him to start mooching off you again! ME, I went no contact with my home dimension and I don't regret it. All they did was hold me back and sabotage my talents! Can you imagine?"
"More than you know. But you do ever wonder if maybe... maybe things could have been different?""
"Our heat budget was so tight that Mom forced S and me to wear one sweater at the same time. (She called it the "Abominable Snow-Stan." Our cat lived in fear of it year-round.)"
“DAMN! This morning I found F rummaging through my old copy of Urban Legends of New Jersey, where I had forgotten I had hidden some old personal items! I’ve quickly re-hidden them here, away from prying eyes.”
"But then he crossed a line. Helplessly I watched Cipher in my own body limp up to a pay phone and dial... STANLEY'S phone number from the infomercial?! No. He wouldn't.
"Hey brother, it's Sixer. I'm going to take a swim in the frozen lake tomorrow, and I might not ever come back, so if you don't hear from me, I just want you to know that it's because I never loved you. BUH-BYEEEEE."
My heart was in my throat until I heard the dial tone... The pay phone was out of order. The message hadn't gotten through. Cipher turned back to address me.
"TSK, TSK, TSK. LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME MAKE YOU DO! TOMORROW'S TAPE IS GONNA BE MUCH WORSE.""
(Bro secret code) "miss you"
“The snow has begun to fall again and there’s very little time. There’s only one left I can turn to to protect my journals while I prepare for the journey…”
"S is an overgrown child with none of my rigorous mental training. Who knows what could happen if Cipher stepped inside Stanley's mind for even one minute...
What if Stanley somehow manages to destroy the portal just like he destroyed my perpetual motion machine? I suppose that machine did work in its own way... It kept me perpetually angry for thirty years."
(Bro secret code) "HAVE I BEEN TOO HARSH ALL ALONG?"
"What if he tries to rope me into his latest get-rich-quick scheme? His latest commercial was for "Stan Sauce: The Miracle Sauce that's too cool for the FDA!"
What if... he mocks me? What if he sees that I abandoned our family to become a recluse on the brink of madness? Could I risk admitting that I was... wrong?
PROS: I have no one else. Well, that settles it. It's time to come face-to-face with a face I haven't seen in 10 years. My own face. Which... is my brother's face. God, I miss sleep."
Ford’s Letters
"In the weeks since Weirdmageddon, I conducted numerous tests on Stanley's mind (his terrible jokes are still intact) and inspected the state for dimensional leakage (we also took turns kicking the statue, and Stanley took a few cracks with a crowbar). I burned every Cipher-shaped item I had ever collected, and even threw away all my one-dollar bills, just to be safe (Stanley, of course, found and pocketed them).
“I emerged from my lab after days of agonized contemplation to find- to my shock- that Mabel was reading the book, out loud, to Stanley, Dipper, Soos, and Wendy!”
“They didn’t see me as an irredeemable screwup. Stanley said, "So, your past is just a giant pile of mistakes? Congratulations- you really are a Pines!”“
"Bill may tell you that happiness requires conquering galaxies and living forever, but I've seen enough of the universe to tell you that he's wrong. I've found my happiness. And it looks like this:"
"If you're reading this... then I am dead. Kidding! Sorry, Stanley thought that would be funny. Ha-ha! We're currently out shopping for harpoons to prepare for our trip to the arctic."
"Stan, if you end breaking into my lab at some point later today- Bravo! Still as good a locksmith as in 8th grade. Beers are under the desk."
(It kinda strikes me that the BoB Lost Journal pages about Stan sound far more like post-portal Ford’s opinions on Stan instead, where he’s openly angry at both being pushed into the portal + at the portal being opened again + his murder suicide attempt being foiled + Stan disowning him + turning his house into a tourist trap + taking his identity vs pre-portal Ford being more… melodramatic(?) constantly being reminded of him but not wanting to linger too long? idk the vibes are different
Plus pre-portal Ford pretty consistently only calls Stan "S” or just refers to him as his brother (with the exception of him writing his name in a Caesar cipher). I think he only ever messes up the general naming scheme a single time when he wrote Fiddleford instead of F
…not to mention the perpetual motion machine comment says thirty instead of ten years)
Other sections: Pre-Portal, Post-Portal, Post-Weirdmageddon
#shout out to all the folks who thought ford was telling stan to find bees#but nevermind all that-- what the hell do you mean snow in glass shard was made of seagull beaks#that finally sank in and i honestly feel viscerally ill#gravity falls#stanley pines#stan pines#ford pines#stanford pines#journal 3#the book of bill#stan twins#thisisnotawebsitedotcom#man we desperately need more post tbob ford cos rereading pre weirdmageddon ford is just depressing#and immediate post weirdmageddon ford still feels like he's finding his footing#i want more of the stan twins teaming up to be assholes to others ksadhksjdhsa that joke to dipper was mean i love that for them#anyway im chewing on the clearly young stan commercial being used when it was supposed to be close to the portal test...
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thinking about stained glass.
Drawing this window took me a really long time because I painted each diamond shape individually to create a stained glass effect. But uhm, worth it, if I do say so myself.
#caffeinatedcatlover#journal#journaling#notebooks#hobonichi#hobonichi weeks#illustrated journal#stained glass#gothic window#commonplace journal#commonplace book#notes pages
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for such is the price of knowledge
(based on my headcanon that ford has a prosthetic eye)
#ford no depth perception king he can see hummingbird colours but can’t tell how far away objects are#this was originally gonna be part of a much longer comic but i got burnt out on it lmao so y’all just get this#maybe i’ll finish it one day it was essentially just mabel discovering ford has a prosthetic eye and asking how it happens cut to this page#and then maybe a panel of ford staring wistfully at the bill stained glass in the shack or smthn#really tried to push myself with working with limited contrasting colours on this one neon blood is harder than it looks to pull off#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#billford#ford pines#stanford pines#bill cipher#the book of bill#journal 3#cw: gore#eye trauma#cw: eye trauma
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Last paper puppets piece b4 ii happens yeayea
#soz for the low quality lmao#i drew these in school#WITH A MOUSE 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️#biggest flex is i can draw with a mouse#ppt2#paper puppets take 2#malachite ppt2#journal ppt2#chainsaw ppt2#ace ppt2#glass shard ppt2#osc#osc art#art#my art
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Had a thought yesterday
[Clean version + bonus below]
#my art stuff#digital art#gravity falls#stanford pines#w.d. gaster#undertale#glitch#static#secret code#transparent#gaster!ford#journal 3#bright glasses#beware the man who speaks in hands#me and a friend are half-baking concepts with this#Gerson I’m coming for you next >w>#been a WHITE since I sat through drawing a character that I’m not gay over and isn’t me#I needed that lil stanley to push me through - these are difficult times#I must admit it was really nice drawing something out of lore passion reasons again though#Staring at sixer that long was contorting my face out of uncomfortable awkwardness though#I don’t like staring at the brother in law (in TWO ways) - especially when he looks so similar to MY guy#brother in law specifically cus a friend of mine who I call MY twin has latched unto him#but also cus he’s Stanley’s brother - I suppose#but the other one much more.#I needed something to look at to get a break and just smile at instead of being awkward man#yes I know the text is lopsided and messed up - I work with CSP and I was TIRED
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glass animals spread
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ʃ dude sona art …
ʅ extra art of my dude sona down below ^_^
#postal dude#postal dude oc#postal fanart#postal#postal dude sona#this might be cringe but idc..#saw another artist draw the dudes with their glasses alike to homestuck and i thought it’d be really funny to apply it to this art#journal entry#also lalala dragon ball reference no way
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The idea of IRL stephen glass is so funny because he’s some guy who is genuinely a not good person and also crusty dusty but we babygirlified him because a hot guy played a character of him 😭
I like to imagine some poor journalism major is on tumblr looking up ‘stephen glass’ to see if likeminded journalists have posted anything on him and they get smacked in the face with smut fanfiction of the yassified babygirl version of the subject of their final paper
#my english prof mentioned Stephen Glass once if I recall properly#my prof worked in journalism for years so i’m sure he’d heard of Glass thru the grapevine#this was prior to my hayden obsession but it was still neat#thirza exists irl#hayden christensen#stephen glass#shattered glass
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Hey diary,
Today was my first day at orientation for my new job. I also have a dentist appointment tomorrow. And I have some assignments due this Sunday. I am overwhelmed to say the least. I feel like I haven’t gotten a day to just forget about tomorrow. Bc of my ocpd once I get in that zone I don’t stop “fixing” until I burnout so I forced myself to finish an anime I’ve been putting off. It was hard for sure and I kept stopping it at times. In my head I feel like I can’t enjoy things unless I deserve to enjoy. How can I relax when I have unfinished tasks. How can I do something that doesn’t make me a better person. Recognizing when I get like that is helpful I suppose.
I do hope to get on meds soon and be able to create and post art and feel whole
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I got made up today so I wanted to do this meme again with my two clone boys!! 😊💖💖 anyone else who wants to do it is welcome to tag me 🫶
#jane journals#sunshine meme#💙 oh captain my captain 💙#🎯 baby shot me down ����#im excited to be going out today w my partner and their mom 😊#two very special people in my life!!#and ngl my new hair + glasses....admit it. im serving.#i dunno i feel like im starting to develop my style more and more!#like now that i can afford it!!#im rly happy w my look
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Coworker Stephen Glass!— “𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙤𝙮 𝙞𝙨 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙚” pt.1
Pairing: Stephen Glass! x Black Fem Oc!
Content warning: Stephen Glass isn’t a manipulative liar in this, jealousy, fluff, OC is a bit of a bitch. (It’s kinda short, but I finally decided I wanted to make multiple parts for this)
Summary: A young journalist working at New Republic, wants the attention of journalist, Stephen Glass, only on her.
Mary-Anne’s POV
I watched maliciously from the blinds of my office, as Francesca got up for the 5th time to use the bathroom.
My grin got wider.
Maybe if she stopped eating my lunch from the office fridge, she wouldn’t have vomiting and diarrhea.
My officer door suddenly opened. “Mary-Anne.” His sweet voice pulled out of my conniving trance.
I remember when he first said my name.
“Mary-Anne…that’s a very beautiful name. You don’t hear names like that anymore. It really suits you.”
The first compliment he ever gave me and it’s been stuck with me ever since I started working at New Republic 2 weeks ago.
He thought it was cute that I was named after my great grandmother, and I thought it was cute how he adjusted his round glasses and ran his fingers through his dark curls as he read my notes for an article I’m planning to publish , but I couldn’t say that— he’s basically my boss.
Out of everyone in the office, Steph is the only one I could call my friend. We weren’t extremely close, but close enough to have a relationship outside of the office.
“I’ve read your work, and it’s just..amazing. A freelance journalist with your talent coming to work for New Republic, is a dream come true.”
He stroked my ego that day two weeks ago. I was a smiling and giggling mess. How could one man be so funny, charming and beautiful all at the same?
But then there was his over friendliness that I hated, he treated everyone in the office the same. Giving out compliments to all the women in the office like god damn candy.
“Did you do something with your hair? It looks gorgeous.”
“I think your necklace compliments your eyes.”
I internally rolled my eyes in disgust at my thoughts and looked at the angel before me.
Stephen Glass. Even his name was perfect.
“Something wrong, Steph?” I batted my lashes and slightly pouted my lips.
“Are you okay?” The concern in his voice matched the look on his beautiful face. He closed the door behind him, taking quick strides to my desk.
“Yeah, why do you ask?” I tilted my head to the side, fiddling with my pencil.
“Francesca seems very ill and I hope it’s not something going around, everyone in the office could get sick.”
He was such a caring guy, busy wondering if everyone was okay and comfortable. I hate him. I hate him for how kind he is, but how could I stay mad at him? That perfect face, sweet voice and charming personality, I could never do that to him.
“I’m sure she’s fine and it’s probably nothing airborne. Stop worrying yourself, Steph.” I sighed, leaning back in my seat.
His body seemed to relax at my words. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
I studied his face well, he looked like he wasn’t getting any sort of sleep. His glasses weren’t hiding anything.
“When was the last time you’ve had a good 8 hours?” I leaned forward. “You look exhausted Steph, you have eyebags.”
He sighed deeply, looking away. “I’ve b-been working overtime.”
“You’re not a machine, you need sleep.” I tried hiding my anger. He was always there for everyone, but who was there for him? Not one of them, just me, and I’m fine with that.
He was mine after all.
“You’re on break, right?” I glanced at the watch on my wrist.
“Y-yeah.” He stuttered, looking back at me.
“You can take naps in here on your breaks if you want.” Maybe that was too much, but who am I to hide my attraction for him?
“Mar—”
“It can be our little secret, plus, you can’t be fired for sleeping on your break.” I slightly shrugged my shoulders. “Just a little recharge in the middle of the day and your office doesn’t have a couch, so just use mine.”
He hung his head in defeat then looked back up with a smirk. “You’re very persuasive Mary-Anne.”
It took everything in me not to bite down on my bottom lip at his words. “ I know.”
#my works💌🌷#stephen glass#hayden christensen#shattered glass#journalism#black coquette#black fem oc#office workers#co workers#the boy is mine#anakin fic#anakin fluff#anakin skywalker fanfiction
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May 2 Sammy is eight years old today. Happy birthday, kiddo. No matter what the demons and soothsayers and lunatic albinos say, you're special to me just because you're my son. And I'm never going to let anything happen to you. Ms. Lyle was after Sammy because he has something she wants. She said he was special. So did Silas. What's different about him? He's just a boy. My boy.
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Week 8 in my journal. The journal is already getting chunky, so I didn’t stick in many drawings this time.
#caffeinatedcatlover#journal#journaling#notebooks#illustrated journal#hobonichi#hobonichi weeks#notebook#book quotes#book journal#reading journal#weekly spread#throne of glass#empire of storms#sarah j maas#dark academia#coffee#coffee aesthetic#commonplace book#commonplace journal#handwriting
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Umm
this you, dawg?
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