#life issues

[reality-detective]

"The Road Rage Lady" and She has major issues to unravel 🤔

[jazzyblusnowflake]

i may avoid being online for a while or avoid responding to anyone for a while. im not doing too well.

[lunariavondelacroix]

Posting this here cause idk where else to put it. But… I know a lot of yall don’t know or remember me that well. But if you wouldn’t mind sharing this with as many people as you could, that would help me out tremendously.

I’m trying to raise funds in order to move out of my elder parents house all while I’m still under a medical leave of absence from my gastric surgery back in June. I had complications that prevented the doctors from being able to finish the procedure and they had to quit at 70% completion. My doctors don’t want me to start working physically again until after my 6mo evaluation in December. All to see if I need the second half of the surgery or if I’m fine at where I’m at.

So that alone is keeping me in a financial struggle as my parents are in their late 70s and are struggling while helping. And as much as I love being a freelance artist, it isn’t enough to cover living expenses while here at my parents with AI running amok and taking potential clients away from freelance artists like myself.

Also my and my daughter’s presence at my parents is putting a strain on everyone here both financially and mentally. With constant clashing here and there with two separate households trying to coexist.

My child’s father is also refusing to pay the full child support since the split. Which has drained my savings account I’ve had trying just to stay afloat while recovering. Which my doctors claim I may never fully heal 100%. Or that I stand the chance of not being able to work as many hours as I once use to because of the complications.

So any help and share support you can give is greatly appreciated. Even if it only by just sharing this with as many outsources as you can.

I can’t even post this on my Facebook account seeing as I have family who would try to claim I’m being ungrateful to my parents or that I’m being irresponsible and not accepting what fate has dealt us for even trying to seek help from others. Old military mentalities at play. But yeah… here is the link if you wish or can share it

https://gofund.me/84fdad52

[noa-ciharu]

I really wish romance was less idealized. I really wish it wasn't put on such high pedestal and regarded as "ultimate life achievement" and something that everyone aims for by default.

I could go lengths about amatonormativity and harm it has on aspec people - but truth is amatonormativity harms everyone. There are people out there that genuinely believe it's better to be in unfulfilling or dysfunctional relationship than to be alone. There are people out there that would pursue relationships at any cost or try to prolong current dysfunction ones just out of fear of being alone. There are people out there that start thinking they're damaged goods if they've been single for some amount of time; that they have no value because "noone wants them"

List goes on and on, and that's just personal beliefs and world views; even if subconscious. Add society's pressure into mix and you get bomb ready to go off at any moment

[thewanderingcotabus]

Life update

Things are still a ****show for several topics. Still having YouTube issues though completely different ones now that I bought premium (YouTube sent me 7 months of notifications for 3 channels I randomly stopped getting notifications on the moment i got premium). Several personal problems still persist and I can add dental issues to that list (broken tooth finally got infected and now I can't chew) and my appointment is the end of august. I also have gotten fed up over a certain well known topic to the point I'm fed up about being told what I can and can't like and post. Its lead to me deciding to starting an Alternate COTA bus in an effort to bring back some freedom of expression without interfering with this blog or the surge tank. Consider this blog and surge tank Side A and the alternate bus Side B. If anyone remembers the bet I lost last year, that is a big hint to this topic but this time on my own free will. I will still be on hiatus for the foreseeable future but will try to keep the queues filled with content.

[fvckbluelives]

[nellysview]

I don’t feel really well. I thought everything will be fine by now but it’s worse. How do I even know if this is true. It feels like it’s true. Why does it feels like my heart is broken but it isn’t. When can I stop pretending everything. I don’t want to. I am so sick of all of this. Why can’t the world be okay? Why can’t I be okay? I have seen a video of me talking to my future self I it feels like this is a other person. This person who is talking is loud and doesn’t care about all of this. This person thinks her dreams are just dreams and that all of this will never come true. This person dreams every night about this girl and can’t imagine her life without them but now.. I should be happy. That’s what they all say. You should be happy. You have everything you want. There is no reason for you to be that way. Should I end it? Should I end her? Idk

Idk anything. Why am I crying all night just because I miss her. Why am I still thinking I don’t deserve her? Why is she still so mean and loud in my head. WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING? IDK! IDK!

Get out of here. Let me live my fucking stupid life and get out. Now.

(Sorry needed this as a diary and as therapy)

Thanks and I am sorry if you understand it:/

[emelies-lifeinpictures]

HAHA

[lesbianishstuff]

I need advice and the reason I’m coming on here is because nobody knows me in real life so they won’t know the people I’m talking about.

I’ve been working a part-time job for the past three years. For the most part, I like the job because I can set my own hours and I can be outside not having to deal with people.

I broke my foot in July (from over use. I work a desk job, a side gig mowing lawn, on the weekends I ride horses, and this 2nd job I’m speaking about here.) I informed my part-time job, which is very physical, about this, but told them I would keep working as I had a walking boot on. I worked for a month before the pain in my foot got really really bad. I went back to the doctor and she said I needed to cut one physical thing out of my life for a month and see what would happen. I chose the second job as it pays the least. I’ve been working there for three years making $12 an hour. It is cash money which is nice. 

I’ve been off for the past month and my foot is getting better although I still have some pain. I went back to the doctor last Tuesday and she said I can start my walking routine again, but she cautioned me about starting my second job again that it is an overuse injury and even though it’s only 4 to 5 hours a week it is very physical. Since I’ve been off, I realized how nice it is to have free time no longer working 14 hour days. (I work 10 hrs at my desk job, then go clean stalls for a few hours)

I really don’t wanna go back to this job although I will miss to the cash, but I don’t know how to break it to them. They’ve been good to me, but also promised me a raise which I’ve never gotten. another issue, they have me on their life 360 and can see everything I’m doing (that was part of the deal getting the job so they could see where I’m at on the farm if Something Happens) and I have a feeling in their opinion that I’m active enough and can come back to the job.

I just feel extremely guilty, like I’ve done something wrong for not going back to this job even though the doctor told me it probably wouldn’t be in my best interest. 

Help

[minordetailed]

guys

have ya'll ever dropped something or gotten startled and just gone 'nyAh' but the way it came out you practically made an unholy noise?

[sweetfreedom2107]

I'll waste all my time on you only for you to leave me in the end. That's how it goes.

Hurt people hurt people.

[girlandthedarkness]

sometimes I feel alright, but sometimes I remember how my mom left the house for a whole day after an argument with my dad when I was a child, and I really thought she will never come back, I remember calling thousand times but she never picked up, I wanted to go with her when she was packing a few stuff and she really said that she doesn't want to take me...

[thewanderingcotabus]

Tape TALKS!?! - What happened?

A few weeks ago I pined a post of the hanging in there star meme and added a youtube video of a C40LF (bus) being driven to the scrap yard to all my blogs  and I mentioned I wasn’t ready to explain what happened yet. A couple weeks ago I recorded a summery of what happened since then. Of corse the video got stuck in processing and I forgot about it till I got an update a few minutes ago and then checked the video to see if it ever got published and it did. I’m making a mini update to this video as I post this. I’m not great at making videos without a script so this may sound crappy and not well made but given whats going on It was the best i can do on short notice

[fvckbluelives]

I can’t believe it’s been 10 years that I’ve had this blog. When I started it, I was deploying to Afghanistan and I coped by using Miss Jay Alexander gifs, relatable posts and memes about the feels, enjoyed the eye candy. It continued past my deployment and helped me get through drill weekends (I was in the National Guard for a while) and school. Over time this blog changed to align with my ever changing views. Which leads to my next points

Obviously my views and life has changed over the years. First I haven’t been in the military in years (got out as soon as my contract ended). Second, my views are way more progressive (they already were but I built on it). Overall, when you know better you do better and this couldn’t be any more true lol. Of course there are things that have remained the same, like my love of aesthetics, deep relatable posts, and funny posts that are unique to tumblr. This site has met so many of my needs regarding the various interests. I had no idea when I signed up for my account on my way to Fort Hood, Texas that I would be still be using this blog to this day 😂. It’s home, and will always be that for as long as this site is up!

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜