#gives you boyfriends

[roguerinzler]

thank god im not normal about rinzler

[thotsandpreyers]

“HOPE” spotted in Washington D.C.

[shotmrmiller]

military issued wife but you didn't know that using the "dating app" your friend brought up once in idle talk would end with you in an office with a (signed) marriage license on the desk, actively not looking at your 'husband', the burly lummox with a skull mask who's dwarfing the chair he can barely fit in.

you'd thought it'd be like tinder. a potential dating site. as in messaging on the app, getting to know each other, exchanging personal numbers before going on a date. not marriage. not opening your front door expecting it to be your door dasher and instead it's him with a rucksack in one hand and duffel in the other.

he'd looked down his thick nose at you, grunted a quiet, "not bad", and pushed past as if you were a swinging door to a saloon. what the fuck had he been doing there? you'd only spoken a couple of times with him and left on read for the some of it. you'd chosen to move on, try to match with someone else but the app had stopped working (you couldn't swipe right or left anymore) so you'd just put it on the back burner. you had better things to worry about than another disappointment of a man then.

except now said disappointment of a overly large man is taking up most of the couch and his legs aren't even all that far apart. and he's at your house. the house you'd never sent him the address to. as a matter of fact, you'd received a text from an unknown number earlier that had said someone would be home in a few. you'd ignored it thinking it was a wrong number situation but now you're sure it was him. how he got your phone number is also a mystery.

you'd tried to argue. to threaten him with the cops. to get him out and away, far fucking away, but he'd only scooped you up and let you pelt his broad back with your fists. chuckled low in his throat while he smacked your arse to keep still. "i'd hate to drop m'wife."

whatever fight you had he ate right out of you with the heels of your feet digging into the large curve of his shoulders and his hands curled around the back of your thighs. maybe it's because it'd been a while but he'd played your body like an instrument and had you bucking your hips against his tongue, slick coating his face in minutes. (your cheeks burn furiously hot when you think back on what he'd said then. "tight little thing 'nd you've only taken my two fingers." it's flattering, sue you.)

he'd lapped at your sodden cunt until you had overstimulation clumping your lashes together, inner thighs tender from the bristles of his shorn hair and unshaven jaw, your palm on the crown of his head having both pulled him to you and pushed him away.

and then he'd wiped your release with the back of his hand, thumbed the swollen flesh of your bottom lip and rumbled that it's time for bed.

which eventually led to you being here. in front of a man he calls Price, a marriage certificate unlike any you've ever glanced upon, a large gloved hand curled snugly around your leg, fingers grazing a little too close to where he'd left aching and swollen just yesterday.

you're reading the terms and conditions of anything from here on forward. even the fine print.

and then soap comes around and plants a seed in his head of him planting a seed in you :/ at least you can tell your nosy ass aunt that at least you've got a man while she's on her 4th divorce on thanksgiving 💅🏼

[fantasticgothicpeachsludge]

Bernard: i lied. i don’t like sex. put your clothes back on babe and watch my power point presentation about What The Fuck Is Going On Between Batman And Twoface

Tim: …

[jdorian]

🌈 HAPPY PRIDE FROM THE QUEERS OF 9-1-1 🌈

[megumismyhusband]

queen can u make one with y/n and rin, and like basically u kiss him on the cheek with like lipstick before he goes to practice and he dosent notice and than at practice everyone makes comments like " wow rin looks like you had a fun night" and hes super confused until after he practice he goes to take a shower, and after the shower he comes bcak home and starts attcking you with kisses

here u go kween!!!

rin sat at the kitchen table, focused as he laced up his cleats. you stood nearby, watching him with a small smile and an idea brewing. as he reached for his bag, you leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, your lipstick leaving a faint pink mark.

“don’t forget your water bottle,” you said sweetly, handing it over.

“thanks,” he murmured, not even glancing up, oblivious to your little prank. you stifled a laugh as he left for practice.

at the field, his teammates were relentless.

“have a fun night, rin?” isagi smirked.

bachira burst out laughing. “who knew you were such a romantic?”

“what are you talking about?” rin grumbled, completely baffled.

nagi yawned, leaning lazily against the goalpost. “you’re practically glowing, man. lipstick suits you.”

rin frowned, his hand brushing against his cheek. confusion deepening when he saw nothing on his fingers. he dismissed it, thinking they were joking. until later, in the locker room, he spotted the faint lipstick mark on his cheek. his jaw tightened as the memory clicked.

after a quick shower, rin grabbed his things and headed home, determination replacing his earlier embarrassment.

the moment he walked through the door, you could tell he knew. his usual calm demeanor was replaced by a predatory glint in his eye. you didn’t even have time to greet him before he dropped his bag and closed the distance between you.

"rin—what—” you started, but your words were cut off as he cupped your face and kissed you. then another kiss. and another. his lips peppered your cheeks, your forehead, and your lips, his rare laughter vibrating against your skin.

“you think you’re so funny, huh?” he murmured between kisses, his tone soft yet teasing.

you giggled, your arms wrapping around his neck. “it was just a little love note.”

“well, here’s mine,” he replied, his lips brushing against your jawline. “next time, let me know if i’m gonna be walking around as your canvas.”

“maybe... maybe not.” you teased, your grin widening.

he smirked, his forehead resting against yours. “we’ll see about that.”

“i’ll take my chances,” you giggle, already planning your next move.

[wellfine]

Probably from some modern AU where the Straw Hats all move into the Going Merry

[kaiser1ns]

"Baby, move!" it was a fierce battle, no it was a cold-blooded war in which the winner was only one. Neither you nor Itoshi Sae moved from the position you were in, and it was for the last popsicle in the shop. No matter that you call him baby, mi amor, boyfie, husband, hot tamale, grumpy little kitten, darling, dumpling, the light of my life... You could continue, but none of those sweet nicknames worked. Suddenly he was not as lovely as he was texting you some hours ago when he returned from Spain but you didn't expect any less.

"I saw it first," he said flatly, reaching for the popsicle but you closed the freezer before he could take away your treasure.

"You touched it first, but I spotted it from across the aisle," you shot back, your hands gripping the freezer lid as if that would solidify your claim.

The old lady at the cashier chuckled softly, observing the two of you bicker over a single popsicle as though the fate of the world rested on it. Her warm gaze softened as she spoke, "Why don’t you two share, dear? You seem like such a lovely couple."  

Both you and Sae whipped your heads toward her, synchronized in your rejection. "We’re not a couple!"  

The old lady just laughed, shaking her head knowingly. "Oh, sure you’re not," she said with a teasing smile, returning to her task of organizing the counter.  

You turned back to Sae, who raised his eyebrow at you, slightly judging you for denying that you are not a couple, yet.

“Alright, fine, mi amor,” you drawled, leaning into the pet names just to get under his skin. “Let’s flip a coin. The winner takes the popsicle.”  

“Not a chance,”  Before you could reply, the patter of tiny footsteps interrupted your standoff. A little kid skipped to the freezer and snatched the popsicle you and Sae had been fighting for the past five minutes.  

Both of you froze, staring as the child walked away, turning back and poking his tongue at the two of you. Just like Sae did as a kid...

You broke the silence first with a groan, letting your head fall against Sae’s chest. He stood there before his hand wrapped around your waist pulling you closer.

“Guess we both lost,” he murmured, without that teasing and nagging tone that made you want to provoke him further.  

“Thanks, genius. It was more than obvious,” you muttered, glaring at the child’s retreating figure before looking up at Sae. “This is your fault, you know. If you’d just shared—”  

“If you’d just let me have it—”  

The bickering started again, but this time, the old lady’s laughter grew louder as she listened to you two quarrel. “Such a cute young couple,” she murmured again, shaking her head as you and Sae continued to argue like an old married pair, still standing in front of the now-empty freezer. As you both turned to leave, the old lady called out after you. "Come back soon, lovebirds!"

This time, neither of you corrected her.

©2024 kaiser1ns do not copy, repost or modify my work

[darkshrimpemotions]

Boyfriend Hoodie is everything to me I'm never getting over it.

[4ever-feral]

HES GIVING OLDER BOYFRIEND AND ITS DRIVING ME FERAL!! PLS ONE CHANCE HUGH!!! 😩😩

[tsuutarr]

All of the fairies in Cot’s village have told him that he’s a workaholic with no understanding of his own limits. He usually waves them off, too focused on his potion crafting to really care about what they’re saying.

But when he falls inside your basket, he’s vividly aware of how stupid he is for ignoring his own limitations. He had flown too far to find some herbs and now he’s stuck in a human’s basket. He really doesn’t want to know what you’ll do to him, but he’s too tired to fly away.

Maybe you’ll put him in a jar. Or rip off his wings. Or feed him to your dog. Or something. Thousands and thousands of negative thoughts flood his head as he looks up at you, a mixture of wariness and exhaustion present on his face.

The last thing he expects is for you to push a few berries his way. The sweet, tantalizing scent of the berries makes Cot’s mouth water. His hunger wins over caution as he chows down on your gift. He doesn’t think he’s ever tasted anything so delicious. 

Once he’s done eating, Cot decides that you’re actually really, really nice. The smile on your face as you watch him eat makes his heart feel all fuzzy and warm. Your voice when you talk to him is really pretty, too.

After that, Cot begins to linger around you. At first, it’s purely to repay you! You were so nice to him, so of course he wants to pay that forward. He helps you take care of your garden and helps you clean your house, eager to please you. 

As he continues to assist you in any way he can, Cot can’t help but love spending time with you. It’s fun, it’s easy, it’s just… nice to be with you. In fact, he spends most of his time with you, making himself comfy in the dollhouse you got for him. And when he has to go back to the Fae Realm, all he can think about is you as he goes about his tasks.

He doesn’t really mind it, though. He likes thinking about you.

But then he has a thought. Maybe it’ll be better if you’re with him, always. When he sees you hanging out with your friends on his visit to the human realm, this thought spirals out of control until it becomes something dark and possessive and all-consuming.

Yeah, it really will be better if you're always with him.

He begins to gift you enchanted tea leaves from the Fae Realm, determined to slowly transform you into someone who’s more fae than human. Then, he gifts you a lovely necklace, enchanted with a piece of his magic – a piece of him. 

You gratefully accept the necklace, unaware of the enchantment on it – an enchantment to ensure that all your friends are too sick to ever spend time with you because he’s the only one you’ll ever need.

And as Cot sets his plan, you’ll be none the wiser. After all, why would you ever suspect your cute, tiny fairy friend? He’s just so adorable and harmless, you know?

[mazojo]

Me when the boyfriend that doesn’t know he is my boyfriend breaks up with me unknowingly so to marry his alleged 6 month pregnant girlfriend instead of becoming Batman and Robin with me holding hands while saving the world to complete my 360 vision or something

[ballpitwitch]

𝐊𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐮 𝐑𝐞𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐑𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐇𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐀𝐭𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐂𝐢𝐭���, 𝐍𝐉 - 𝟏𝟎/𝟎𝟖/𝟐𝟑

[kamwashere]

hetero side of the mcu fandom being conflicted/borderline disgusted by the onslaught of queer subtext in deadpool and wolverine... i thought the concept of being gay is a hilarious joke, why aren't you laughing ://

[machveil]

thinking about Boyfriend!König that eats so much at home. he orders takeout in such large quantities that his usual restaurants know his voice - as soon as they hear his little ‘hello?’ they’re like, “Oh, you want the usual? We’re having a buy-one-get-one-free thing right now on breadsticks.”. if he isn’t ordering at least six different things off the menu something is wrong

thinking about sitting down to eat with him and he’s eyeing your food like he doesn’t have a buffet in front of him. he’ll always let you eat in peace, never rushing you or commenting on what you ordered… but he’s drooling over it like he wished he ordered it. thinking about always saving a couple bites of food for König, pretending to be full and insisting he should finish your takeout. he’ll always double check with you before shoveling it into his mouth, groaning because it tastes good - you saved a little bit of everything for him, from a little sauce, some protein, maybe some grain or veggies. König always offers you some of his food in turn, and messy eater that he is, his food looks like it’s been through hell. some portions are heavily broken up by his fork, others mixed together because, “It tastes better like this, Liebling.”

[monstersflashlight]

Inspired by some anon I got the other day, I think it's time for us to do another...

MONSTER CHAMPIONSHIP!

Which is the best monster out there? Who would win...?

So, this is how it's going to go: I'm gonna add the polls in the reblogs and each poll will last for a week, so for the next four weeks we'll have a poll each Monday.