#gives 90s hal jordan

[avianii]

Don't work with your parents- they have blackmail material in their wallets

this but with Top Gun (1986)

[snikt111]

hi hi hi hi I found out about Hal Jordan TODAY and am going so autistic over him it’s insane can you please give me a rundown on what his deal is I think you’re the Tumblr Green Lantern guy

omg hi, insane compliment btw, tysm! i'm glad to give you a rundown!! also definitely check out @katmaatui for more hal info, red is SUPER knowledgable abt him. @rillette, @catboyollie, @halcarols, @starsapphire and @yellowcorps (along with so many others that i cant think to tag off the top of my head) have some great hal takes too! (edited the post just to tag more ppl)

apologies if this is a bit rushed/messy, i'm doing this while i smelt stone in minecraft LMAO

that being said... i think this will be a long one, so more below the cut :3

(cw for light mentions of pedophilia, abuse, canon typical violence)

okay, so hal jordan is the first human green lantern of the GREEN LANTERN CORPS. it's important to note that there was technically a human green lantern before him (alan scott, originally from earth two/the justice society, but integrated into main DC canon after crisis), but his power comes from a different source- which is a whole different ballpark that would take ages to explain, lol, so i'll move on from that.

hal was originally introduced in a showcase issue in 1959, but ended up getting a solo run in the mid 60s because of his showcase issues doing well. he's been a test pilot, middle brother, compassionate, rule follower (although being surprisingly liberal for the time) with an interesting relationship with star sapphire carol ferris since those first appearances. for the first 20 odd years of his appearances we had no information on his parents, but we got a lot from other family members, such as uncle titus, cousin hal jr (aka airwave), younger brother jim jordan and older brother jack jordan. through the 60s and 70s those members of his family were developed along with him; with the audience learning that jim's wife sue thought jim was green lantern, rather than hal, and hal himself training his cousin, hal jr.

the most known version of how hal got the ring in the first place is probably based off of geoff john's rewrite in the mid 00s, reiterating the original story of abin sur crashing onto earth and dying, leaving hal with his ring to be trained by sinestro and the rest of the glc, while also changing miniscule details that had been developed in emerald dawn 1 & 2 (which was released in the 90s, more on that later). the main premise of abin sur's crash has stayed the same, but the story around hal's current life, job, family and stability keep changing. for instance, the original comic with abin sur in showcase only showed hal getting the ring, the guardians choosing him. the first rewrite i can think of was emerald dawn volume 1, published in 1989 and continued in emerald dawn v2 (1991). here we get the classic hal watches his father die in a plane crash with carol ferris beside him as a pre adolescent, and some of the biggest implications of the mistreatment from his father. we also get introduced to hal, despite his stick to the rules, straight edge attitude, making some serious mistakes and putting people in danger and even death- with the implication of alcohol abuse. the audience HAS known hal used to be in the air force since sometime in the late 60s or early 70s (sorry, i don't remember the exact issue!), but emerald dawn shows us that hal's moved on from the air force and into test piloting, and that his mother keeps having to bail him out for making mistakes. emerald dawn vol 1 shows the abin sur moment, followed by fights that cost hal's friends life, and is followed up by sinestro training hal in emerald dawn vol 2, where we get to see the iconic scenes of hal finding out about sinestro and his... dictatorship.

along with that; how the guardians and rings are treated and hal and the glc's perception of them is vastly changed over time. in the early days of gl in the 60s, the guardians were really never to be seen. hal was repeatedly summoned to them and then had his memory almost fully wiped- only leaving a vague notion of his orders. the guardian's called hal to them at seemingly the worst times, ending up with him almost getting injured, getting in trouble at work, and even ending up jobless and homeless. the chaos of being a green lantern has been around the WHOLE time, but originally, the green lanterns didnt really... fight it. the guardian's were their masters (and even father figures, to hal) and not to be questioned. the rings in the 60s were also much more powerful, despite the yellow weakness (the yellow weakness is the notion that from about the 60s to the mid 90s the green lantern rings were completely unable to be used against anything yellow). time travel, phasing, teleporting, etc were all very viable and common things- as well as forceful shapeshifting, invisibility, mind control, mind reading, etc etc. these days, writers have dampened these powers down to mostly shooting light and constructs.

okay, it's parallax time. the emerald twilight arc from the mid 90s wasn't an arc that was as thoroughly planned out over a long period of time as it probably should have been. a lot of fans at the time (and even now) hated what happened there, and claimed it ruined hal's character entirely. i can understand why! but, at it's core, the parallax arc is a story about a broken man pushed to the limit, fully grieving his home and family (originally, he lost his brother jim in the destruction of coast city, along with a lot of other family members) and being goddamn fed up with how his "masters" treated him and the rest of the corps. the so called "perfect lantern" (no, he wasn't that much of a rebel, despite what johns wants you to think) snapped and essentially tried to gain as much power as he could to bring back coast city. when the guardians stripped him of his powers so he couldn't, hal became enraged and took down every lantern in his path, just to get to the guardians and that power. long story short, he kills the guardians and absorbs all the energy from the central power battery on oa, becoming parallax- essentially a god. this marks the start of zero hour, an event made by dc to restructure and reset; giving the comics a new generation of heroes. hal destroys the world and remakes it, but is ultimately taken down by kyle rayner, the new green lantern, with the help of the jla, jsa and associates. there are a few more run ins with parallax after this, before kyle convinces parallax/hal that he can make up for all of this by reigniting the sun after it went out- aka killing himself. hal does it, is stuck in limbo for awhile and then becomes the spectre to continue to make up for the horrible things he did as parallax. the spectre is the spirit of god's wrath and vengeance, a weapon used to drag sinners to their very own, self made hells, and scare the shit out of people. the spectre, from it's very first appearance, is a ghost like spirit that takes on a host, and is primarily described using christian terms and is used in a very... christian ideology. HOWEVER, the spectre 2001 confirms that hal is jewish (jewish mom, catholic dad) and that belief system, plus his personality as a whole, literally makes him change the spirit of vengeance into the spirit of redemption, for at least as long as they are bonded. the whole parallax to spectre arc is about grief, pain, cycles of abuse and terror, redemption and guilt. it is NOT about a fear bug that possess hal. (im so serious though, the spectre 2001 is one of the best comics ive ever read. amazing. changed my world view) but... geoff johns changed all of it, decanonized the spectre, and ruined the legacy of parallax and hal's growth as a person by releasing green lantern: rebirth in 2004/2005. this retcons hal's breakdown and journey through grief into him BEING POSSESSED BY AN ENTITY CONTROLLED BY SINESTRO THAT FULLY CHANGES PREVIOUS GREEN LANTERN CANON AND IMPLICATIONS. also, fucks up the importance of kyle becoming ion, but whatever. geoff johns writes hal (and even more so, carol) so very wrong, and change their stories so vastly in ways that go against the stories very meanings.

SIGH.

now... time to get started on some rougher stuff. hal jordan misconceptions. i'm saving that arc for last.

- hal jordan wasn't much of a rule breaker or rebel until the 70s/80s, where he BEGAN (very slowly, mind you) to be radicalized by oliver queen during denny o'neil's green lantern/green arrow. hal was painted as more of a conservative during this period (which, admittedly, kind of goes against previous canon... he's always been relatively central to liberal, not to any extremes like ollie though, lol) but gets more and more understanding of how power structures work and how lower classes are mistreated during this time- which ends up opening his eyes a bit to how shitty the guardians are. (this is helped by the guardians literally just. leaving. the green lanterns and kind of disbanding them so they can go fuck the zamarons, lmao). geoff johns tried to change this narrative into making hal a very... maverick-from-top-gun type of character, who punched his way out of the military (when, in reality, the original story during emerald knights in the late 90s was that hal had been framed for stealing a jet and was dishonorably discharged, which he took the punishment for because he knew someone had to) and hits on women constantly and gets ladies and allat (which, funnily enough hal was awful at getting carol to like him for a long time, since carol fell for green lantern rather than hal. not to mention the awkwardness of carol's proposals or hal's many, many failed relationships). hal has always been insecure and lowkey boyfailure, he is NOT a top gun maverick tom cruise sorta guy! fuck you jeremy adams!

- hes not that much of an idiot asshole. hal can be a real dick, he's had that going for him since the beginning, but he isn't what you read in batfam fics. he's not stupid and shouldn't be the laughingstock of the justice league. i assume this idea started from the obsession with batfam and the fact that the jla has quite the history of ignoring hal and his issues (as well as. all of their issues. theyre not so great at work life balance), but it's gone too far. hal isn't making fun of the robins and pissing bruce off bc of that. hal isnt fooling around on the job 24/7 (he takes being a gl and pilot VERY seriously, although he does enjoy some danger and high stakes) or slacking off to get girls. again. not top gun maverick.

- hal has not been a creep since the beginnings. hal was not weird with carol in the 60s. things were weird between them, yeah, but that's based off circumstance and the craziness of star sapphire and green lantern. he was NOT being horribly sleazy! i hate that i even need to say this, but i see this take too much not to

- going off of what was said above, lets discuss the arisia arc. if you want to be a real hal fan, this is unfortunately something you need to know about. in action comics, after crisis and the guardians left to go fuck the zamarons, most of the green lanterns fell apart and seperated. a small group went to earth- led by hal and consisting of hal, john stewart, katma tui, kilowog, salaakk, ch'p and arisia rrab. (also sometimes guy gardner, but that's complicated) previously to this arc, hal treated 14 year old arisia like a beloved little sister, welcoming her and leading her into the corps just like everyone else. things started to change once the timeline gets closer and closer to crisis, where arisia starts showing that she has a crush on hal (who is roughly 30s at this point). any advances made by arisia are shut down by hal at the beginning, because she's a child. now, it's unfortunately a common thing to just call hal a "pedophile" because of what happens in this arc- but it really isn't that simple. still weird and icky, but definitely not to the degree of which some fans like to act like it is- esp to attack hal fans for, which is... an odd choice regarding how many fucked up things every character (esp male characters) did back in the day. arisia ends up using her power ring to artifically age herself up, making her body AND MIND into that of a young adult (the comic makes this very clear). once this happens... hal stops rejecting her. they get together, they kiss. the only person in the group of green latnerns who actually has an issue with it is john (salaakk is meh about it, but he just doesn't like human-esque romance no matter what), and katma even directly encourages their relationship. kilowog ends up crushing on arisia as well, and guy gardner hits on her repeatedly throughout the whole period. eventually, hal and arisia break up, but this legacy (thank so much englehart, for wrtiting this. /sarc) is a big controversy among the comics crowd. "is hal jordan a predator?" personally, and i know a lot of friends/mutuals/other gl fans choose to erase the arisia arc entirely (versus how canon ended up retconning it to be 14 earth years is equal to that of an adult and she didn't really get super ages up, or whatever) and go with the familial relationship between hal and her. that's my preferred version! i know red (@katmaatui) has explored that version as well as an alternate version where the arisia arc did happen, and how it affects arisia in particular, which is really depressing but super interesting. anyway, it's complicated and weird and nuanced, but that whole occurence doesn't mean hal's a bad character or person (cause yk. retcons) and it's certainly not bad to like his character. (definitely ignore any guy gardner fans who try to bitch about this arc. cough cough. guy was ALSO into her and hit on her repeatedly. smfh) most people who bring this up to demonize fans didn't even read the arc, and don't know the nuance or the other weird shit that happens in it. (hal is not a horse, sigh)

OVERALL NOTES!

hal jordan is a super complicated character with an extensive history spanning from the 60s to his worse written appearances in modern age. it's okay to like any version of the character, but it is important to note the changes that have been made, the storylines butchered and lost, and more. he has quite the legacy, and he's particularly interesting as from a moral standpoint. hal's a real sweetie though, when it gets down to it! he's neurodivergent coded (imo at least.. his dad very much gets onto him for being disrtracted, hes kinda shit at social interaction (and then amazing at it the other half of the time) etc etc. "spacecase") and his dad is an abusive asshole, who he desperately doesnt want to be like but thinks he NEEDS to be like!

[gelpensoncomics]

Guy Gardner: A Study of Heroes and Head Trauma

SO! It's July, which is disability pride month here in the United States where I live! I figured it would be appropriate to kick things off by talking about a character who has a mixed reputation, to say the least: Guy Gardner, Green Lantern. He's been around since the Silver Age of comics, and his characterization has been through some serious ups and downs over the years! But what if I told you that it's not inconsistent writing? What if I told you there is a lens with which to view his shifting behavioral patterns and at times abrasive and offensive personality that makes it all come into focus and make perfect sense, and it's all already there on the page? I'm here to give you that lens, and it's viewing Guy Gardner as a man who has suffered multiple traumatic brain injuries and managed to heal over time. Buckle up, this is probably going to be a long one, and it's pretty image heavy as I try to back up as much as I am claiming that I can.

So the first thing I will start with is establishing Guy's former baseline. This is not the post where I will go incredibly in-depth on Guy's full family history and his education, I'll save that for another time. Here, I simply aim to sum up. Guy Gardner met Hal Jordan for the first time in the 1991 title Green Lantern: Emerald Dawn, a volume that served as an updated backstory for the Silver Age hero after Crisis on Infinite Earths. Hal was in prison to serve a 90 day sentence for drunk driving. Guy Gardner was Hal Jordan's caseworker.

"What? Huh? That's Guy Gardner?" You, the hypothetical reader ask. What happened to him?!

A lot. A lot happened to him, and it took him from a man who gave the advice to "Use your rage! Don't let it use you!" to a man who is known as the rude angry ginger lantern. First off, he got hit by a bus. No, I'm not being metaphorical or making a joke. See, he quit his job as a prison case worker because he didn't like how the job made him feel, especially after he was caught up in a prison riot and threatened with death at the hands of a prisoner there. So he put his second degree to use and he became a teacher. Specifically, he became a physical education teacher for disabled children.And then there was an earthquake, and he was hit by a bus while attempting to rescue one of the students on a field trip he was running, nearly dying in the process.

Now, I will say: he got better. This time. See, no sooner had he recovered from this incident, as he was filling in for Hal as Green Lantern he was exploded in the line of duty and sent to a parallel dimension. In that parallel dimension he was tortured, and Sinestro used a dangerous and severe form of mind control that, when it was finally broken, left Guy... well, the comics call him comatose, but he is conscious, he is just not responsive to the environment around him or able to care for himself.

For years, he remained in this state, with his care at a top-notch hospital paid for by fellow superheros. And then, during the Crisis on Infinite Earths event, a miracle happened. Guy regained consciousness.

But the Guy who came out of that vegetative state wasn't the same man who fell into it. Or at least, not exactly. He was angrier. His fuse was shorter. Perhaps most upsetting of all, one of the first actions he took upon regaining consciousness was attempted grave robbery.

"Gelpens, what the fuck," you ask me. I know. It's a lot. Bear with me here. See, he didn't wake up on his own. The Guardians of Oa woke him up, using their tremendous cosmic powers to attempt to heal his brain damage so they could deploy him to help during the Crisis.

Sure, Guy got his strength back. He was able to function as a Green Lantern. But he still wasn't the same as he was before his coma. He stayed angry, and confrontational, and was frequently known to make inappropriate comments that failed to fit the setting he was in or the bounds of good taste. He had a constant chip on his shoulder, very different from the man who was concerned about controlling his anger so it couldn't use him.

This all came to a head in a series of events that is frankly infamous in comics circles. Almost every fan I know of who knows Guy Gardner knows about the time Batman got fed up with his confrontational rude attitude and laid him out with a single punch to the face.

The thing people don't remember about that punch is that, seeing as it was the 90s, and comics writers had learned a few things about the brain, they decided to use it to make... let's call it a running joke. See, after Guy regained consciousness, he was much more like the guy he was before all that head trauma. He was polite, cared about being a team player and not trying to prove himself, he didn't go for lethal force!

Of course, this didn't last. No, the whole 'joke' here was that Batman punched him hard enough to rattle his brain, and he would occasionally jump from being a sweet, friendly team player to, in the words of the narration box the first time he got hit on the head again, his new old "thoroughly rotten" self (I know). Slowly but surely though, Guy did get better, and start to stay better. His mood stabilized, he gained more self-control, he started making better plans and he was much less angry as a default. And it's kept going! This train keeps chugging along! He isn't so angry anymore! He has it under control!

And honestly? This moment, right here? This is the crowning jewel in my thesis, I think.

Guy has a Red Lantern ring and a Star Sapphire ring. For those of you less familiar with the extended Green Lantern lore, the Red Lanterns run off rage. The Star Sapphires are powered by love. Outside of willpower, the emotions that are the most powerful within him are his rage and anger, and his love for his friends. And what does he fuel them with, when it comes down to the wire? When willpower alone isn't enough? The thing he hates most is being filled with rage. The thing he loves the most is his friends.

So. I don't think Guy was ever just an angry, sexist, rude asshole at his core. Is he the same as he was before the injury, before all that happened to him? Of course not. Nobody goes through life completely unchanged by what happens to them.

I think he injured his brain and lost his ability to regulate his emotions and impulses for a while. The road to recovery was far from smooth. It just took him some time to heal and be in a place to act like the man he wanted to be all along. But in my opinion? I think he's there now.

[wajjs]

okay, so i have read lantern comics, but i've only read them out of order and i'm looking to start from the beginning. sorry for asking this, but do you know what comics i should start with for Hal specifically?

again, sorry for asking but um. you seem like a good person to ask

I'm gonna give you the advice I give everyone who wants to read GL: do NOT start with the older stuff first. Start with the newer runs, since those are the ones that match the current personalities etc, and once you do that you are free go move onto the pre 2000s stuff.

So a reading order I recommend is:

- Geoff's Rebirth

- Venditti's run

- Morrison's run

after that, you can read the 90s to early 2000s stuff (you will find Parallax, Kyle's first appearance and Hal's turn as the Spectre there). Only after that you can go to the stuff before that.

For stand alones, I recommend:

- Willworld

- Green Lantern/Superman: Legend of the Green Flame (references a bunch of action comics stuff but you honestly do not need to touch Action comics to get it. It's a good character study)

- The Last Will and Testament of Hal Jordan > this one I recommend reading after Emerald Dawn I + II and Emerald Twilight all the way to Hal's death in Final Night. You WILL need that context, but trust me when I say it is among the top 10 best written comics of all time that were published by DC.

Aside from that, do feel free to pick and choose what you like best and move around based on your likes

[greenlantern94to04]

Green Lantern-Related Titles Round-Up (June 1994)

Welcome to a new section where I'll be going over all the Green Lantern-related stuff happening across the DC Universe outside of the actual Green Lantern title in a given month, similar to what I've been doing at the '90s Superman blog. We start with a biggie...

Guy Gardner: Warrior #21

"EMERALD FALLOUT," Part 4! An all-splash pages issue about Guy's climactic fight with former goodypants Hal Jordan, who, as Guy learned last issue, recently went insane and killed a bunch of their mutual friends. Alan Scott, Arisia, Colos of the Darkstars, Wonder Woman, and other Justice Leaguers are also there, but Guy is the only one who's able to last longer than one page against Hal.

This is because Guy's yellow power ring is powered by residual Green Lantern energy, so now that Hal is Green Lantern energy, the more he fights Guy, he more powerful Guy gets. Hal, who apparently thought Guy would sympathize with his murderous heel turn given that 1) he's also lived in Coast City and 2) he's also used to being called a psycho, eventually ends the fight by simply crushing Guy's ring and absorbing all of its power.

Hal leaves Guy in his undies and gives him with a warning for everybody (as in, the other superheroes): "I don't want to harm them... but I will get the power I need. I will make everything all right again." Not sure how Guy will deliver this message since Hal apparently knocked him unconscious and shot him off into space right before saying it, but okay.

Darkstars #21

"EMERALD FALLOUT" Fallout! This issue starts with Darkstar Colos briefly alluding to the fact that he just had his ass handed to him by Hal in GG:W #21, but he says he's got "more pressing matters" than a murderous maniac with the power of 3600 Green Lanterns, so he goes off to do some Darkstars bullshit. The reason I'm including this here is the scene in which Green Lantern John Stewart, who had ascended to Guardian of the Universe status at the end of his solo series Green Lantern: Mosaic, suddenly realizes that everyone's GL rings have disappeared. Oh, he's no longer a Guardian (because there are no Guardians anymore).

While John is wondering what's going on, a Controller, one of the "distant cousins of the Guardians" who run the Darkstars, shows up and says he might be able to explain, but he needs John to come somewhere with him. Meanwhile, there's a scene where one Darkstar superior tries telling another about Hal Jordan going evil and threatening the very existence of the universe, but once again the other guy is like "who cares, let's talk about some Darkstars bullshit."

This issue also includes the moment in which Donna Troy, formerly Wonder Girl of the Teen Titans, is offered a gig as a Darkstar. We'll be seeing a lot of her over in Green Lantern in the future...

Superman & Batman Magazine #5

This series (which I'll cover in more detail at some point in the Superman '86 to '99 Patreon, because it's kinda awesome) includes not only animated-style comics but also in-universe articles and interviews with DC characters. This issue has one in which Superman's One-Time Romantic Interest Cat Grant talks to Guy, who thinks she's hitting on him but reaffirms his commitment to Ice.

The interview spends a lot of time explaining Guy's yellow ring (which, as of this month, he no longer has) and his armor (which only lasted like two issues). The funniest part is that it ends with Guy saying he has to bail because "somethin' weird's happening on Oa, an' I gotta find out what." Is the implication here that between learning of the emergency on Oa in GG:W #20 and actually leaving with the rest of the Justice League, Guy took the time to be interviewed for a magazine? That does seem like a very Guy Gardner thing to do.

Justice League Quarterly #14

Hal Jordan appears in this issue's main story, but a blurb in the first page lets us know that it "takes place waaay before current events in Justice League or Green Lantern." That explains why Hal looks so cheerful and non-murderous.

"Boy, I sure do love having a city!"

The story is about a satanic guy turning Praxis, one of the members of Booster Gold's capitalism-loving super-team the Conglomerate, into a giant being of pure energy, for satanic reasons. Hal and the League turn him back to normal using the power of friendship, basically. Then Hal makes a joke at Flash's expense and everyone laughs (off-panel; it's implied).

"I also sure do love having friends, whom I'd never kill or try to erase from existence! Life is GOOD here in mid-1993."

[fancyfade]

For those who read lots of late 80s/ early 2ks comics...

Descriptions of plotlines by me, someone who has encountered all of these plotlines in the wild while reading 90s comics but not read any except final night fully:

Legends: the one where Godfrey was slandering the Justice League and Superman got sent to Apokalips, brainwashed to be Darkseid's minion, and then forgot about it.

Millennium: The one with all the manhunter conspiracies that I think was about the Guardians having sex?

Invasion!: The one about the alien invasions. Okay one of the ones about alien invasions. There was an alien alliance, they had a gene bomb that made meta humans.

Armageddon 2001: the one where Waverider pops up in everyone's solo title to view their futures and find out who monarch is. Monarch is the evil ruler of his future who killed all the superheroes.

War of the Gods: the one where Circe was gathering a bunch of artifacts and there was some characters associated with mythology showing up. and punching each other.

Eclipso: the Darkness Within: The one where Eclipso possesses people and Beth Chapel and Yolanda Montez die because nothing is more dangerous than being a C lister in a crossover plotline.

Bloodlines: the one where weird shape shifting vampire aliens drink humans ... spinal fluid? which kills many people but gives some people powers and creates some 90s heroes no one remembers anymore.

Underworld Unleashed: the one where Neron gives a bunch of supervillains powers for shits and giggles. Black Manta is actually-factually manta-ified and Blockbuster is turned into a future impulse and then nightwing villain.

Final Night: the one where the sun goes out due to sun-eaters. Hal Jordan restarts the sun by flying into it.

Genesis: the one where a "godwave" is bouncing around, having created gods on its first pass and creating metahumans or demigods on its second pass and altering with some people's powers and making some people feel depressed

DC One Million: The one where we saw some hypothetical future of what the universe would look like in the one millionth publication of DC, in the year 8000 something. I honestly can't remember what the plot was for this.

Our Worlds At War: Imperiex, some powerful space guy, is a threat to the earth. lex is president during this era and probably yapped at the heroes u are reading about.

[sunnyscript]

The urge to write a superboy and lilo & stitch crossover (with minor yj crossover) then explore all the f-up parts of Kon's "childhood"

Like exploring the grooming that child stars go through, sexual grooming( 23?yo woman dating a 16 uo expy, supervillain Knockout grooming him and calling him a "jail bait"), also the capitalistic need of the industry that doesn't give a flying f about kids dying (remember what happened to the superboy copycat?) , body image, Kon's desire to comform to people's expectation and the way he just REPRESS things, and tourism in Hawaii does to the locals, how capitalism and western colonization affect the life of of those who don't want to live the life™️ ( working 8 to 4 five day a week forever, buying a house where you put all these things you feel like you don't need ).... etc

THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS TO EXPLORE.

I want stitch and Kon to be friend. I want ”on to go full on Gemsworld around Stitch and Lilo and get introspective as hell. I want him to hate his brain.

I want the two neurodivergent icons to meet ( Lilo and Bart )

Likely, the story will be set in the late 90's or early 2010's.

Also, yj will have a poly in it.

And Hal Jordan will be Greta hayes' mentor as the spectre.

Also Cassie will be transmasc (and confused AS FUCK. Be like "I'm a straight but I feel weird about femininity" then go "wait I'm a lesbiab" "No, shit, actually I'm a bi girl" "Not a girl" "But like am I really a boy?" "Yes" "No" "Yesn't" "Maybe" "who gives a shit" "I do 😭" "Is my attraction to boy real????" "Wait maybe I'll feel less weird if I pass?" "But what if I don't?!" "Boy at least I know I love girls... But do they love me back tho?" "Kon I can't tell if I want to be you or fuck you to oblivion" "I kind of wanna make out with Bart or Cissie..." "How do I dress?" "I would wear a dress, if I looked masculine enough" "God do I have to change my superhero name?" "Wonderboy already exist..." "Bart what do you mean wonderman is available since he doesn't exist in that universe???" ....etc)

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Bloody Valentines

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam, Young Justice 98, Titans, GL Corps, Legion of Super Heroes, Flashfam, New Gods

Summary: 90s vampire slasher AU

Chapters: 2/?

Characters: Dick Grayson, Joseph Wilson, Jason Todd, Charley Parker, Zatanna, Eddie Bloomberg, Daniel Cassidy, Chester Williams DC, Guy Gardner, Kyle Rayner, Lilith Clay, Raven Roth, Kole Weathers, Bette Kane, Donna Troy, Roy Harper, Jenni Ognats, Bart Allen, Virgil Hawkins, Richie Foley, Ayla Ranzz, Zoe Saugin, Rol Purtha, Darla Aquista, Lori Zechlin, Hal Jordan, Helen Jordan II, Orion DC, Lightray DC

Relationships: DickJoey, Daniel Cassidy/Zatanna, Jenni Ognats/Virgil Hawkins, Raven/Lilith Clay

Additional Tags: POV First Person, Unreliable Narrator(s), Vampires, No Capes AU, 90s Slasher AU, Homoeroticism, Horror, Slasher

Chapter Two: The Premonition (Charley's POV)

I sat on the roof, smoking while I waited for Jason to page me. He didn't like me smoking around him, so I tried to smoke before and after we hung out. I gave myself enough time to shower and change clothes if I needed to. He never complained, but I knew he preferred I didn't smell like I just smoked a bowl when we hung out.

I met him through Eddie a few years back, and he seemed chill. A little weird, but we were all kind of strange. I was new to Jersey, but he welcomed me in and made me feel like I fit in there, even though I didn't. I didn't stay on the roof long because it was freezing out.

I showered and changed clothes before grabbing my keys to head out. Jason came in the door with an empty suitcase. "We're going," Jason announced, "We're going to Happy Harbor this weekend."

I burped smoke and apologized before plopping on the couch. Jason said a lot of weird crap, but I chalked that up to brain damage. He'd been having premonitions about his brother, and he told me something loomed just outside the gates of the immortal. I didn't know what it meant, but I don't think he did either. Jason washed his hands and poured a glass of milk. "Why are we going to Happy Harbor?" I asked.

"Because my brother is at the center of the disturbance... And he's going. Do you wanna come?" Jason asked. I shrugged and nodded. "Do you?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'll come... Jason, did you sleep here last night, man?" I asked. He shook his head. Sometimes he didn't sleep, and he'd drive around. He'd been like that since I met him. I met him in the kitchen, took a frozen pizza out of the fridge, and slapped it onto a pan. Jason sighed and took the pizza out of the box before placing it in the oven.

Most people would think two people like us shouldn't live together, but I think I reminded him of somebody. And I liked having somebody around that didn't treat me like a freak. He also didn't lose it when he walked in on me with some guy I met, in flagrante delicto, as one of the Sisters of Mercy would call it. I call it the Lotus.

Actually, that was recent. I tried to hide the fact that I preferred to drive a stick from time to time, but it was always hard to hide it from the people I lived with. Jason was different, though. When the guy left, I collected myself and tried to explain, but he shrugged it off and said he'd seen worse. So, sue me if I don't judge the guy for his hallucinations.

"I drove up to Blüdhaven to see my brother. He got in right before I got ready to leave. I waited for him all night... You should probably start packing tonight. We leave tomorrow morning so we can beat my brother there," Jason mumbled. I sat down and pulled my hair into a bun.

I didn't tell him what to do unless I thought he was doing something dangerous, so I didn't give him my opinion on the whole vacation thing. Besides, I wanted to get out of Gotham for the weekend, and Happy Harbor sounded like a relaxing vacation spot. "Jay, what's the weather like?" I asked. I laughed involuntarily and ran a hand over my face to pull myself together.

"It's in Rhode Island, so I imagine it's freezing. The hottest it gets up there is eighty," Jason answered, "And it's the middle of fall, so I wouldn't bank on it being a nice sunny seventy out there."

I forgot how sarcastic he could be when he wasn't having premonitions. I didn't hate it, though. I think that was his way of telling people he was okay. Jason wasn't a touchy-feely emotional guy, but neither was I, so it worked. "Your brother's gonna be okay," I whispered. I didn't have any siblings, so I didn't understand all the feelings surrounding him and his brother. Whenever I saw them together, I thought they hated each other.

"I got you a suitcase... Charley, remember to pack. We leave at six tomorrow morning," Jason explained. I zoned out after that, but I think he was monologuing. I came to when I smelled the pizza he'd taken out of the oven, and I watched as Jason took a slice for himself. I blinked hard and started eating.

There was something so sensual about the first bite of food after a smoke. I shut my eyes and made a soft noise as I ate the crust first. Jason chuckled. He didn't like me smoking, but he got a kick out of me eating after a smoke. "I've never seen anyone eat a pizza ass first before," Jason laughed.

"Listen-." I fell into a fit of laughter mid-sentence. "Ass first?"

"Yeah, because the crust fucking sucks. No one eats the worst part first," Jason cracked up. I hate to say it, but he was cute when he smiled. I always wanted to go there with Jason because he felt safe, but I never got any indication that he was anything other than straight. Besides, it never would've worked. Jason had a lot going on in his head, and I did too. He was a for life type, and I was more of a for the night type. I was bummed after that because I stopped laughing and returned to my large pizza in silence. About an hour after I ate, I took a nap and packed for our trip.

Jason took his shower and fell asleep on the couch, where he talked in his sleep. I tried to ignore it because some of the stuff he said in his sleep made me feel paranoid. But this time, it was different. Worse. Jason tossed and turned on the couch so roughly that I sat on the floor in front of him to keep him from falling. He grabbed my shoulder in his sleep and scared the shit out of me. "Stay out of the water. Stay out," Jason moaned, "Charley. The water." A chill ran up my spine, and he shot up, panting as he searched around the room.

"Jason... Jason," I whispered as I grabbed his wrist. "Jason, are you-."

Jason jumped off the couch and into my arms. I never saw him that emotional before. It freaked me out. "Please don't swim this weekend, Charley. Promise me you won't swim," Jason begged. I hesitantly rubbed his back to calm him down, but I was as scared as he was. Jason held on so tight my back cracked. Oh yeah, I forgot to say the dude was jacked. Thick neck, giant biceps, built like a fucking tank.

"If I promise to stay away from the water this weekend, will you let go of me?" I asked. Jason let go and nodded. He had to pull himself together, but I was still spooked. "I promise... And next time you call my name like that in your sleep, I'm gonna need you to take me out to dinner, Kid." Jason chuckled and shook his head. "Why'd you want me to come with you tomorrow? Be real with me."

"We'll all be together... I think we'll be alright if we stay together," Jason whispered. He stood up and walked away before hiding his face in his hands. "I've never had one that vivid before... Charley, please don't forget what you promised me... Please don't forget."

I felt terrible for him. Eddie said he wasn't always like that. Before the accident, Eddie said he wasn't as fearful. Everyone warned me not to listen to his delusions or feed into them, but his instincts were good, and he'd never been wrong before about the normal-sounding stuff. It was more than reasonable for me to believe that staying out of the water in an area where it'd be freezing out was a solid warning.

Jason paced back and forth by the fire escape, and my hands shook as I tried to pull myself together for him. We couldn't both be scared. I owed it to him to be the brave one for once. If I owed anybody anything, it was Jason. "Jason, c'mere. Stop-. Stop pacing and look for a minute. Nothing's gonna happen to me because I'm gonna listen to you," I reassured him. Jason nodded, but I could see his mind was already made up. He looked like he wanted to cry. It was like I was already gone. I'd never seen him like that. It was weird and fucked up, and I dreaded the trip ahead. I was so fucked up over it that I couldn't even think to smoke. Instead, I decided to keep my head straight until we got to the Harbor on Saturday. I thought it'd give us both some peace of mind. Still, I didn't think Jason would sleep after that. There was no way. And there was no way he'd be able to drive on forty-five minutes of sleep. Relaxing trip, my ass.

[zithcavooris]

A closer look at my previously posted GL Corps, for people who prefer this kind of viewing experience.

And for those interested in design notes:

Hal Jordan: You know him. I made him a little pale because he’s Irish in this version. I also made him not too tall, because not every superhero has to be tall, and this emphasizes how he’s the youngest founding member of the JL.

Abin Sur: My only requirement here was that I wanted his look to scream “alien.” Especially since I wouldn’t bother giving him a spaceship in this version, I need Hal to see him crash-land and immediately go “That’s an alien” and not like, a demon or something. The only trick was making sure I didn’t accidentally reproduce my Martian Manhunter design!

Sinestro: I debated making him a snake man until pretty much the last minute. It’s a little on the nose. But ultimately I figured, the guy’s name is “Sinestro”, he’s never going to be a particularly subtle character.

Tomar-Re: ½ bird + ½ finned, scaly thing=dinosaur! It made sense to me.

Kilowog: I always loved his design, so I just made him even bigger and even wider. Then I gave him four arms to show that he is a Strong Guy. He also has a fleshy stub of a tail, but you can’t see that here, and possibly hooves? Note also the belly.

Salakk: Once Kilowog had four arms, I gave Salakk four legs as well to keep him unique, and while I was at it four eyes and six nostrils. The obvious thing to do when trying to make sense of this body shape is to make it a little insectoid, but I also mixed in a little seahorse and a little bit of oceanic coral.

Arisia: There’s that whole uncomfortable thing where her character was originally 14 but used her ring to “age herself up” (???) I decided to flip the script and have her be a full-grown woman (maybe even older than Hal) who’s species just looks child-like. Beyond that I kept her mostly humanoid to keep it semi-plausible that she would have a crush on Hal, but looked at art of her at her most alien-looking (very elfin, fuzzy hair) and exaggerated those features. I’m pretty sure this version actually has quills, and also moth-like antennae if you look closely. Note also the extra fingers.

Ch’p: The whole joke is that he looks like a woodland critter, so I didn’t feel the need to make him any more alien. Still, I didn’t want him to look too much like any one specific Earth creature, so he’s sort of a squirrel-meets-chipmunk-meets-rabbit. He might be a little shorter than this, maybe even as short as a single foot, but you could barely make him out at that size so I cheated. He wears his lantern on his tail, because it’s cute.

Boodikka: The first thing I knew was I wanted to make that thing she wears on her head into actual feathers. From there it made sense to make her into some sort of harpy creature. I tried to bring in some of the size, muscles, and facial features of her original design from the 90s as well, but with limited success. Not sure how much sense it makes for the suit to conform to her individual feathers (it doesn’t show each individual hair on Hal) but whatever. She wears her lantern on her toe, because sometimes she’s too busy flapping her wings to point one at a bad guy.

Galius Zed: Obviously he’s already extremely alien. I just wanted to make it clear that he doesn’t literally have a human man’s face, just a very humanoid one. It helped to combine his features with those of Zilius Zox, his somewhat stranger-looking Red Lantern counterpart. He’s a little shorter than usual here, because at this width he looked huge if I made him any taller. He wears his lantern as a bracelet because his fingers are too stubby to wear rings securely.

[plutonicmirror]

Zero Hour (1994) #0 [and Zero Hour in general]

Let’s continue my Zero Hour first reading. After skipping some filler tie-in issues, I reached the finale. Again, funny numbering gimmick with a 0 issue. I think Marvel also had something similar with their -1 issues back then. Oh, the 90s!

Hal Jordan Parallax reveals his master plan: “I’m gonna erase the universe so hard, I’m gonna create a new one where everything is right and everyone is happy™”. Classic case of a hero reacting to tragedy the readers are supposed to know about the Emerald Twilight story arc, but I’m LARPing as a snot-eating 10yo in 1994 who just started reading comics and doesn’t have enough attention span to know the lore with absurd amounts of cope and a plan that sounds extremely good on paper, but that other heroes must oppose because morality yadda yadda yadda. Looking at you, Injusticeverse.

Shout-out to my man Danger, a D-lister that was brought to the final fight fOr a ReAsOn. I’m gonna be honest, I skipped his tie-in because I couldn’t give a fuck about who he was. I usually like me some B/C/D/Z listers, but I also don’t give a fuck about DC’s Titans and his book was apparently tied to that whole mess so I was like “meh, next”. I mean, this young dude is a nobody right....?

*one trip to a comics wiki later*

Oh...

Ahem, moving on. The Spectre shows up looking for REVENGE after all of the JSA folks get ultra aged up or straight up deleted from existence, even though they had previously asked him for help and he was like “nah that’s human bullshit, I ain’t movin’ any finger”. Good job, asshole.

So yeah, remember our D-lister? Turns out his power (which is absorbing energy and making explosions) is specifically needed to counter Parallax’s new Big Bang. So our heroes’ plan is...to recreate the universe exactly as it was. So basically Parallax’s plan but done by them because fuck you Parallax, you don’t get to play God. Except...it doesn’t come out exactly as it was, because there’s “““subtle changes”““. In a meta way, this event was supposed to be a soft reboot to fix some of the fuckery that Crisis on Infinite Earths (a big event I haven’t read yet out of fear) caused. Was it accomplished? According to Comic Pop’s Back Issues video on this event... it kind of wasn’t. Sidenote, I highly recommend that channel’s Back Issues series, after reading an event it’s fun to watch a recap that adds background bits for the uncultured (like me) even if I sometimes feel the critique of the host is too harsh.

A not-Killing-Joke’d Batgirl from another timeline who temporarily sided with Parallax because she was doing her best “I want to be a real boy” Pinocchio impersonation got killed in the heat of the moment, so the other normal-powered hero in the room (Green Arrow) gets pissed at his former bestie. After this whole event he ragequits btw and apparently a common joke is that many readers think that should be the standard reaction to the whole thing.

Parallax is seemingly killed but it’s comics so he’ll be fine, trust the process. If I recall correctly, Hal gets to be the new Spectre for a while [*Vietnam flashbacks of Identity Crisis*]. I forgot to mention that the current Green Lantern of the time Kyle Rayner and Wally West were also “killed off”. Again, they’ll be fine. I just didn’t care enough to read a wiki and find out how they come back. But that bit brings us to this “oh yeah, that happened” moment:

Power Girl was pregnant and gave birth to a baby with the help of Wonder Woman who conveniently decided to play midwife instead of stepping up to the threath. Bue hey, guess who also was sort of born in the aftermath of this event? That’s right, I was! So surely that means that baby is a very important char-

Whoops, nevermind.

FINAL THOUGHTS ON THE WHOLE EVENT:

“7/10 it was alright” - IGN.

The contrarian in me doesn’t hate it like most nerds out there do, but it’s certainly not the greatest event ever written. Granted I went in without knowledge of a lot of stuff, like how was I supposed to make sense of what was happening in the Hawkman tie-in issue aka the whole “let’s try to solve the problem of having multiple origins for this character by literally merging them all into one” thing? How could I know what CoIE fuckery needed to be fixed if I don’t know the big impact of CoIE besides Supergirl being killed off (this fact is cultural osmosis at this point)? Did it matter to me in the long run? Not really, because it’s not like I feel compelled to keep reading DC continuity and make sense of it for the time being. The art was good, the colors were pretty, the Parallax suit was rad, the pose Ollie made at the end was Jojo-esque and dramatic, Batman fucking off from the final fight via being killed was good.

Now, the tie-ins. Some of them were fun, some of them were a drag to read because I had no idea of background info for most of them. Almost all of the Superman tie-ins were fun to read with the exception of Steel because I was tired of wiki-hunting when I reached his issue, shout out to the alternate Jor-El and Lara, the Alpha Centurion and the “Superman tries to save the Kents during the chronal rift” stories (Superman vol. 2 #93, Adventures of Superman #516, Action Comics #703 respectively). The Legion of Superheroes and adjacent issues were extremely confusing to me as a casual but oddly engaging. I had no idea what was happening but it was sort of fun. It revived my itch to read LoSH comics even if I’m still feeling overwhelmed at the mere thought of going further with that task. Oh yeah, the silent Green Arrow issue was a lot of fun! (Green Arrow vol. 2 #90).

The characters introduced were a mixed bag. On one hand we have Bart Allen aka Impulse, who was created in the prequel to this event and was sort of interesting. But then the chronal rift time erasure bullshit happens and since he’s from the 30th century he basically does nothing of importance... Alpha Centurion, as I mentioned, was a fun read in his Adventures issue but in the core event he was... a convenient minion. Thriumph? Thriump was an annoying character, one of those “oh yeah he was totally there in the beggining of the big team but the big name characters just don’t remember tee hee!”. Don’t worry though, he would later die of a cold. Or something like that. Extant felt edgy throughout most of the core issues and the tie-ins, he really had that Madara Uchiha endgame villain energy...until he was revealed to be just a pawn that was just rebelling. And then he fucks off. Shout-out to this specific goofy panel:

Tie-in issues skipped: Anima #7, Batman: Shadow of the Bat #31, Damage #6, Robin vol. 2 #10, Showcase ‘94 #10, Steel #8, Team Titans #24 (yeah, this team got erased from existence and I just couldn’t care), The Darkstars #24. Also skipped: all of the Zero Month aftermath gimmick #0/soft reboot issues.

New Year’s resolution when it comes to DC? I’ll get around reading the 70s Green Arrow and Green Lantern book. Ever since I found some academic paper on it that mentioned the words environmentalism and malthusian I was like “ok wtf I have to read this”.

Tytyty for reading my blog.

[about-faces]

In terms of blatant editorial injustice, are Inferno re: Madelyne Pryor and Emerald Twilight re: Hal Jordan basically inter-company equivalents?

I am sorry to admit that I know very little about the editorial fuckery behind poor Maddie's character arc. I have tried to catch up on X-Men from the Wein/Claremont issues onward, and recently even started working through New Mutants, but I always got derailed so I never even made it to Maddie's introduction (I don't think).

As for Hal, I certainly know a great deal about THAT whole situation, having grown up with it and following the whole debacle in the 90's. That situation was such a formative experience, shaping my views of editorial and fandom alike in ways (mostly negative) that still color my opinions of both.

When I do get around to Inferno, I imagine I will be pissed at the mishandling of Madelyne Pryor because mishandling and derailing characters is an incredibly sore spot for me even now. I still hate how Gilda Dent and Maxwell Lord are both irrevocably stained in the eyes of DC and fans alike, and now--after reading Wonder Woman from Perez onward--I'm pissed about how the same can be said for poor Vanessa Kapatelis.

Unlike Hal Jordan, these are all supporting characters, just like Maddie. And they always--always--get the raw end of the deal. They're pawns to be sacrificed to affect the main characters. They get twisted and discarded and no one gives them any thought because they don't matter as much as the protagonists.

While I still take what happened to Hal very personally, and while I also think Hal's never fully recovered (because of Johns' trying to retcon everything instead of actually embracing Hal as a flawed person), I can at least say the he managed to come back from the editorial fuckery, more or less.

But Gilda, Max, and Nessie won't. Not without a lot more work, care, and effort than most creators/editors are willing to give supporting characters. So on that basis, I'm gonna guess that Maddie likely got the more raw deal than Hal.

[asymbina]

as someone who was a teenager when the Knightfall story arc happened, I remain amazed that they've taken Jean-Paul Valley and turned him into a reasonably redeemable dude

because back in the Pizza Cutter¹ world of 1990s comics, Jean-Paul was a straight up serial killer who just got increasingly unhinged, partly because it was the 90s and partly to justify the inevitable return of Bruce Wayne as Batman

and we _all_ knew he'd be putting on the cowl again, for the same reason that we knew when the black polybag Death of Superman issue came out, it'd be followed up with a white polybag issue about Superman coming back

this is distinct from the great lengths Geoff Johns and Dan Didio went to in order to restore Hal Jordan and Barry Allen as the "main" Green Lanterns, despite them both being legacy heroes going all the way back to the Golden Age and Barry Allen being the one comic book character everyone knew would stay dead because he had such a satisfying and heroic death

no, I will never not be salty about that, because they pissed all over a generation of comics readers who grew up with Wally West and Kyle Rayner as the Flash and the Green Lantern because their childhoods were more important than ours, apparently, and now every version of the Flash in other media is Barry Allen, except they decided to also give Barry one of Wally's signature traits that distinguished him from Barry: the need to consume vast amounts of food

anyway, I'm glad Azrael got therapy or whatever. someone in the Bat family should.

1. all edge, no point

my genuine reaction watching batman beat the ever loving fuck out of Jason in under the red hood when the only other batfam media I know is wayne family adventures

[fancyfade]

Positive version of the poll... for those who read lots of 80s/90s/early 2ks comics...

Descriptions of plotlines by me, someone who has encountered all of these plotlines in the wild while reading 90s comics but not read any except final night fully:

Legends: the one where Godfrey was slandering the Justice League and Superman got sent to Apokalips, brainwashed to be Darkseid's minion, and then forgot about it.

Millennium: The one with all the manhunter conspiracies that I think was about the Guardians having sex?

Invasion!: The one about the alien invasions. Okay one of the ones about alien invasions. There was an alien alliance, they had a gene bomb that made meta humans.

Armageddon 2001: the one where Waverider pops up in everyone's solo title to view their futures and find out who monarch is. Monarch is the evil ruler of his future who killed all the superheroes.

War of the Gods: the one where Circe was gathering a bunch of artifacts and there was some characters associated with mythology showing up. and punching each other.

Eclipso: the Darkness Within: The one where Eclipso possesses people and Beth Chapel and Yolanda Montez die because nothing is more dangerous than being a C lister in a crossover plotline.

Bloodlines: the one where weird shape shifting vampire aliens drink humans ... spinal fluid? which kills many people but gives some people powers and creates some 90s heroes no one remembers anymore.

Underworld Unleashed: the one where Neron gives a bunch of supervillains powers for shits and giggles. Black Manta is actually-factually manta-ified and Blockbuster is turned into a future impulse and then nightwing villain.

Final Night: the one where the sun goes out due to sun-eaters. Hal Jordan restarts the sun by flying into it.

Genesis: the one where a "godwave" is bouncing around, having created gods on its first pass and creating metahumans or demigods on its second pass and altering with some people's powers and making some people feel depressed

DC One Million: The one where we saw some hypothetical future of what the universe would look like in the one millionth publication of DC, in the year 8000 something. I honestly can't remember what the plot was for this.

Our Worlds At War: Imperiex, some powerful space guy, is a threat to the earth. lex is president during this era and probably yapped at the heroes u are reading about.

[geooricle]

Further context I want to note that makes this worse if anything:

-This happened in a run notorious even at the time for its entire premise being sexually exploitative drawings of an underage girl and jokes about adult superheroes (mostly Hal Jordan) wanting to have sex with her.

- Even the in a comic already way off the deep end of "edgy" this joke had the plausible deniability of pretending they're making fun of the attitudes of the 60s by having it happen during a storyline where Supergirl is "trapped in the Silver Age".

- Its explicitly a "nudge-nudge-wink-wink we'd never get away with this kind of thing today" thing like Steven Moffat does when he brings in charicters from "older times" who "dont know any better" so he can have them say the things he has his charicters say all the time but now he has the excuse of "old" rather than "alien" or "high functioning sociopath".

- The whole thing is combined to one panel and has no bearing on the plot so you can ignore it and go right back to your underage girl T&A.

I get being mad at this joke but nothing about the 2005 Supergirl run was "normal for 2003". In many ways it was a throwback to the mid 90s Lifeldian stuff. Do not give Jeff Loeb a pass by pretending his attitudes were "normal for the time".

I understand that folks tend to think of open homophobia in popular media as a Thing Of The Past, and that the 2000s are still sufficiently recent as not to count as The Past in a lot of folks' minds, but still it kills me the sheer incredulity I keep bumping into when people are confronted with how casually homophobic early 2000s popular media actually was. Like, buddy, you have no idea how recently "isn't it shameful for a straight man to know what a latte is?" stopped being a standard sitcom bit. There were whole shows airing as recently as the early 2010s whose entire premise was "this ostensibly straight man has somewhat fruity mannerisms" – like, that was the entire joke.

[whirlibird]

I posted 15,221 times in 2022

That's 4,249 more posts than 2021!

10 posts created (0%)

15,211 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@themadcapmathematician

@randomizedred

@phoenixyfriend

@orange-catsidy

@professorsparklepants

I tagged 14,096 of my posts in 2022

Only 7% of my posts had no tags

#wrestling - 1,691 posts

#aew - 1,078 posts

#kits - 585 posts

#misc - 559 posts

#fate - 403 posts

#queue - 319 posts

#fandom - 314 posts

#death note - 289 posts

#tropes - 281 posts

#cm punk - 265 posts

Longest Tag: 134 characters

#shelley was trying to tear sabin's acls again not 2 minutes ago and as soon as the match ends theyre back to being like this instantly

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

do i need to make a pinned post to tell people im not this whirlibirb person. please. this keeps happening. i dont care about whatever internet drama happened but it is SPILLING over into my backyard and i need some kind of shotgun to shoot at the sky and holler at people to get off of my property

6 notes - Posted April 15, 2022

#4

DC for the blorbo meme? :3

this is against the spirit of the meme but i think i can make all of these about hal jordan. i apologize in advance

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most) - i didnt care about hal jordan at all until i was told that he was sky crazy. i had just seen come from away so any character that Just Wants To Fly is immediately my beloved. anyway then i shotgunned a bunch of green lantern comics and found out that theyre all deranged. love them all! but especially hal.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped) - again Hal Time. i could probably make a collage of every time he gets grabbed like the damsel from king kong. spiritually he is making a squeaky toy noise every time.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) - Hal Is Absolutely Not Underrated but i think outside of the GL fandom most of the green lanterns get sorta neglected. f in chat for the dceu just having No Lanterns. even in dc comics fandom i think a lotta people just think of hal as the generic lantern, like how guy gardner is thought of as the rude ginger guy that batman punched once. theres more to them! they have layers, like onions, like ogres.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) i think this the only one i CANT make about hal but also, like in all superhero comics?? if you see YOUR favourite appearing briefly in someone else's run, you go poggers.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) - PARALLAX HAL. HAL'S HOT GIRL SUMMER. POSTER CHILD FOR MALE HYSTERIA. LOVE THIS BITCH. dc wanted to reboot GL and get a new boy, so how do we get hal out of the picture? destroy his city and make him go full wandavision trying to recreate it and all the people that died! the guardians say no, so he snaps and murders them, as well as like....all the other lanterns on his way to doing that. crushed by his failure to protect his people, he decides the world is fucked and the only way to fix it is to start it over. cue zero hour, where he very nearly managed to reset the entire universe! the death toll was ENORMOUS! he got shot through the heart by his best bud oliver queen before he could finish it though. this triggers ollie's depression arc WHICH IS A WHOLE OTHER THING,,, anyway. well he got shot but he got better because he's hopped up on ultimate cosmic power and whatnot. the 90s comics continue while he is moping in outer space until a sun eater almost destroys the earth, so he comes back and throws himself into the sun to reignite it, dying for realsies this time. and on top of all that the CHANEL THIGH HIGH BOOTS? THE CAPE? iconic. later all this was retconned to be because he was possessed by a yandere space worm that was in love with him. which is also hilarious. someone deworm this man. after he died he became spectre for a while, until kyle rayner dragged his corpse out of the sun and he got to be a lantern again.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) - hal really is most fun when he's fucking going thru it so like. Yeah. top 10 moments is when he's uncharacteristically quiet and looking blankly and ominously into the middle distance, so Every Character Who Was There For His First Hot Girl Summer is just like:

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) - he already went to hell like, twice. once it was with superman. they had a great boys night out. vaguely related but i think sinestro once went through an orpheus and eurydice-esque journey into the underworld and/or spectre hal's subconscious?? and then also one time he and sinestro shared a ring and ended up yeeted to the Death Dimension together. sinestro got himself out so hal had to fling himself off a cliff and Fall To His Death to solve this problem. you can put a lot of icarus flavour into this guy

7 notes - Posted February 12, 2022

#3

drac collecting both mina and jonathan and having them nicely arranged on one bed. reverse unicorn hunter

21 notes - Posted October 3, 2022

#2

DOES ANYONE HAVE A GIF OF THE GAY LITTLE WAVE THAT ENJOU DOES AT THE END OF THE THREE REALMS GATEWAY OFFERING QUEST. PLEASE.

61 notes - Posted February 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

SHAKING AND CRYING AND FROWING UP!!!!! shoutout 2 my friend crane for turning calcifer!john into a gif!!!

547 notes - Posted September 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Bloody Valentines

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam, Young Justice 98, Titans, GL Corps, Legion of Super Heroes, Flashfam, New Gods

Summary: 90s vampire slasher AU

Chapters: 3/?

Characters: Dick Grayson, Joseph Wilson, Jason Todd, Charley Parker, Zatanna, Eddie Bloomberg, Daniel Cassidy, Chester Williams DC, Guy Gardner, Kyle Rayner, Lilith Clay, Raven Roth, Kole Weathers, Bette Kane, Donna Troy, Roy Harper, Jenni Ognats, Bart Allen, Virgil Hawkins, Richie Foley, Ayla Ranzz, Zoe Saugin, Rol Purtha, Darla Aquista, Lori Zechlin, Hal Jordan, Helen Jordan II, Orion DC, Lightray DC

Relationships: DickJoey, Daniel Cassidy/Zatanna, Jenni Ognats/Virgil Hawkins, Raven/Lilith Clay

Additional Tags: POV First Person, Unreliable Narrator(s), Vampires, No Capes AU, 90s Slasher AU, Homoeroticism, Horror, Slasher

Chapter Three: The Itch (Zatanna's POV)

"Put the knife down," the man in swim shorts raised his voice. I peeked around the corner, kicking myself for being neighborly. "We can talk about-."

"What is there to talk about? You all think I'm the Happy Harbor Butcher anyway!" the kid yelled. I took a breath and raised my book as I entered their cabin. The man shook his head, giving me away, and the kid whipped around.

"Oh crap! Hey, he's not in any danger. We were working on practical effects for my aunt-. See. The knife is fake," the kid explained as he pressed the trick knife into his palm. I let out a sigh of relief and hid my face with my book, and we all had a laugh.

The man approached me and rested a hand on my shoulder. "You okay?" he asked. "That must've really freaked you out. I'm Danny Cassidy, and this practical effects prodigy is my boss's nephew. He's the incomparable Eddie Bloomberg, the next big face of practical effects in horror." Eddie shook his head.

"Danny's the real genius... I'm just his humble apprentice," Eddie replied. I knew what he was up to. He figured all it took for me to fall head over heels for his friend, Danny, was a kind word or two.

Too late. I thought he was cute from the moment we locked eyes. I offered Danny my hand, and he took hold of it. "I'm Zatanna. My friends call me Zee," I whispered.

"Well, Zatanna... Are you spending the weekend up here too?" Danny questioned. I nodded. "Well, I hope you'll let me call you Zee by the time this weekend's over." He kissed my hand, and I flashed a smile at him.

"You guys up here for work?" I asked.

"Nuh-uh, I'm up here to meet friends," Eddie answered as he put the trick knife away. I set my book down on their table.

A tea kettle whistled, and Danny released my hand to go and turn it off. "Eddie invited me up with the promise of creative inspiration, but I think he just needed a ride. It doesn't hurt that we're making a movie about this place pretty soon," Danny replied, "But I'll be here, soaking in the beach scene... Maybe even check out the caves. What about you?"

"Call me crazy, but the place came to me in a dream... But it sounds like you guys are filming a nightmare," I whispered as it sunk in. They were filming a horror movie about the beach.

"It's just like any other beach... The movie's based on urban legend. Not backed up by fact at all," Danny reassured me.

I probably should've told him the truth. It wasn't a dream. It was a vision. Usually, I didn't travel to supernatural hotspots blindly like some ghost-chasing tourist, but anyone who could feel the magic there knew. Many people would be compelled to come there. My father called it an itch, but it was something different for me. It buzzed in my spirit as magic passed through my bones. I couldn't ignore the pull.

Danny offered me a cup of tea, and I accepted. He set a serving dish filled with tea bags at the table, and I made my pick. Eddie sat down and twisted a spoon in a jar of honey before dropping it into his mug. I grabbed a bag of berry hibiscus tea, which seemed like a step up from the chamomile at the cafes. I hated chamomile.

I shook the bag down and placed it in a mug. Eddie passed me a cup filled with spoons, and I gave myself a spoonful of honey for my drink, and Danny poured hot water from the kettle into our mugs before making his cup of tea. The warmth set my nerves at ease. "What do you do?" Danny asked.

"I'm a magician," I replied. I twirled the spoon around in my mug.

"Now I know where I've heard that name! You had a residency in Vegas," Danny replied. I bit my lip to conceal my smile.

"Yeah, have you seen my show?" I asked as I blew on my tea.

"Yeah, I saw your show three times. I've never seen anything like it," Danny replied.

I smiled a half-smile as I took a sip of my tea. "Thanks... Actually, I came over to see if you guys wanted to do a bonfire at the beach tonight? At seven-ish?" I whispered. The door slammed behind me, and I jumped.

A bizarre sensation shrouded the room, and I shut my eyes. I breathed through the feeling because I was much more sensitive than the others. At least I thought so. When I looked up, Danny and Eddie looked like they'd seen a ghost. Eddie stood up and left the room, and Danny took a sip of his tea and shook his head. "Gopher!" Danny called. "I'm sorry, this film is starting to get to us."

"No, I felt it too. I think it's just one of those days," I half-lied. Danny followed Eddie, and I was alone. I could hear them talking through the door, but I couldn't hear half of what they were saying.

I finished my tea and slipped away. I walked down the trail toward my bungalow, feeling something looming outside my vision. I rushed back to my cabin before a hand grabbed my wrist. I shrieked. The person released my hand. When I turned to see their face, I relaxed my shoulders and sighed.

"Jesus Christ, Chester," I whispered, "I didn't think you were coming."

"Yeah, I've been here for an hour wandering in circles looking for you," Chester replied, "Good thing I ran into you. Doesn't this place give you the creeps?"

"Don't tell me you're scared," I teased. Chester smiled.

"No way," Chester replied, "Just paranoid... Besides, you were the one that screamed bloody murder the second I caught up with you." I laughed with him. Nothing like getting the daylights scared out of me by a completely harmless friend to calm my nerves. That and a well-welcomed smoke on the beach.

Oh! I forgot to mention. I invited Chester. He was a friend of a friend's friend and a real sweetheart. That and I didn't want to be alone that weekend. "Hey, Zee? Got you a surprise from my garden," Chester smiled as he gave me a small box.

The box contained a small airtight container filled with weed. We went to my cabin and smoked for a while before I finally let it slip. "Who's the Happy Harbor Butcher?" I questioned. Chester turned to me on the couch, and we maintained eye contact for what felt like forever.

"Aww, no thanks, Kid. I'm out of here-."

"Chester, come on," I whispered. I grabbed his arm. "It was a simple question."

"I've got two rules for camping. No urban legends and no night hiking," Chester replied.

"Don't-. Don't leave. I won't ask about it again," I replied, "Do you want a soda or something?" Chester nodded, and I grabbed two from the fridge to keep him calm.

We should've left that day. I think I'll regret that forever. The pit in my stomach told me there was more to Happy Harbor Butcher than an urban legend, but the itch kept me there. I couldn't leave. Whatever energy drew me there kept me trapped by curiosity.