#give me the healing blood tbh lol

[monstersinthecosmos]

can i vent about the healthcare system lol

This year I have health insurance for the first time since I was a child and when I tell you it sucks, I hate this, I hate participating in this system, I miss when I was just in pain all the time and didn't even bother going to the doctor bc I didn't have insurance anyway, I don't love this system where I read my insurance policy and think something is covered and then it isn't except maybe it is and maybe it got processed by a bot and I have to call the insurance to dispute but then I have to call my doctor to dispute and then I have to call the insurance back to dispute like, guys I have phone anxiety I'm gonna just pay you all this money instead of making phone calls I guess.

i have nerve damage and my treatment options so far are a $1,300 shot that might not actually help and I'll have to get another one in a few months anyway or I can go to physical therapy where they want to see me 2x a week for $250 per session. My insurance only covers a certain number of sessions and even if I did go to all of them, I still wouldn't hit my deductible. The PT place has a financial assistance program but it's only for people who have hit their deductible. (What's the point lol).

I'm also at a dead end trying to get diagnosed & treated for hypothyroidism because "weight gain" is listed as a symptom and BCBS says they don't cover "weight loss" treatment even though that wasn't what the fuck I asked and I was more concerned that my hair is falling out and I'm freezing all the time. Like where does it end, every time a symptom of something includes weight gain. What if a skinny person has it. Is this discriminatory? Is it a coding error? Will I pay the $215 I got charged for having my thyroid tested and simply not continue treating it now, because I don't have the constitution to make 100 phone calls and argue with people? lol.

the spine specialist orders an MRI and says I'm too young to have surgery so I should just do pain management. the pain management doctor tells me to lose weight. (it's hard, because, I think my thyroid doesn't work.) he says lyrica might help with my nerve pain but it causes weight gain so he advises against it. i wonder at what point does BCBS decide that spine & nerve pain is because I'm fat and won't help me anymore because it's weight loss related.

And let's not talk about how I was like, you know what, I would rather just build up some medical debt and pay it off slowly because I'm terrified that I'm going to have permanent nerve damage, and I applied for financial assistance with the hospital, and they approved me, but they don't help for any bills which are under $2000. So my $900 MRI or my $400 nerve test or my $1300 shot are not eligible for financial assistance, even though my hospital balance would be over $2000. I go to set up a payment plan and it won't let me set the number I can afford. I manually enter a bit at a time and they won't stop emailing me that I owe them money because I didn't use the official interface for a payment plan. I call their financial assistance to ask why they didn't adjust my MRI bill, they tell me because it's under $2000, I get so overwhelmed and start crying on the phone like an asshole so I hang up before I remember to ask about adjusting the payment plan.

like is better that I'm now $1300 in the hole for tests that told me I have nerve damage and arthritis and disc degeneration when I can't afford any of the treatments? Is it better to at least know? But what's the point if I can't do anything about it anyway except YouTube yoga and Aleve for breakfast, which I was doing anyway when I was uninsured. Thanks, now I know! I cannot feel my leg! Pray for me that I don't wind up paralyzed from ignoring it!

(I think part of me committed to these tests because I was like, well, if there's NO damage I will know and I can stop worrying, but there is damage, so now idk how to feel.)

anyway it's just. I've always known this system was garbage from the outside when like, I've spent years having to treat things by myself at home, I've had so many times where I didn't go to the ER when I probably should've, I've passed on really fun outings with my friends like snowboarding or roller derby because I'm too scared I'll get injured, my mental health is at all times hanging on by a thread because I can't get medicated (put a pin in this one bc I finally got an appointment for an evaluation but my insurance doesn't cover most of the meds LOL). It already sucked on the outside and was already a huge embarrassment to me as an American but like. I finally have insurance and it wasn't' even worth it.

and like. there's stuff I can afford. I'm making better money than I did in my 20s. Like, okay, it sucks but I can pay $215 for my thyroid test at the end of the day. But I don't want to. It sucks and it's not fair. I shouldn't have to. And like it's $215 now and then how much later. It's not sustainable at all. And if there's a way for them to cover it and not discriminate against me for being fat, it's behind so many barriers of me trying not to cry my eyes out on the phone and tbh I don't see it happening LOL.

but elon is on track to become the first trillionaire and our taxes are bombing children in tents, cool cool cool

I just don't understand who the fuck this is even for. WHO is out there with $2,000 to drop every month on physical therapy. Who is this for!!! WHO IS IT FOR!!!!

[wheresmymilliondollarman]

aaron warner x ferrars! reader pt. 3

when omega point falls, you find yourself in need of the supreme commander's son, and discover unresolved feelings along the way.

(taken place during ignite me & hc continuation from part two)

that is literally me in this gif y'all🖤🖤

a/n: hello!! finally back with part 3. i'm sorry for the wait, i wanted to do other requests, but tbh i might focus on this little series so that way it's complete and everyone can read it all together. also idk why i even label it hcs anymore LMAOO like i feel it's progressed to a fic atp, but i'm too stubborn to change my format and titles, so humor me LOL. (maybe i'll turn this into a legit fic when i finish, who knows) pls do not kill me for not including every detail, i tried to highlight the best parts as much as i could. also might seem all sunshine rainbows rn with relationships, but just wait for the next book… 🤞 extra info: kinda change adam's character cus i feel like he was an extra ass at times for no reason in the book?? like trying to kill kenji for no reason?? small redemption arc. kinda slight change to juliette. also, i love making reader, juliette, and kenji a lil trio.

word count: 10.7k (im insane)

warnings: mentions of fights, blood, injuries, and death. use of military time (reader so me fr bc it took me so long to understand that shit), suggestive and matureish content.

the first thing on your mind, when you woke up, is that you had to be dead. if you opened your eyes, you would see the golden gates of heaven or the fiery pit of hell. based on how you lived your short life: you were thinking hell.

you realized you were alive and mostly well from the horrible aching from your body, the bandages wrapped around your chest, and the fact your current surrounding was a bedroom.

"hey, amor, take it easy." a voice said as you attempted to sit up.

by your side was aaron warner, sitting down on a stool next to the bed you laid on. he, uncharacteristically, looked disheveled, his clothes messy, and his eyes anxious.

your panic arose as you remembered events - fighting against the reestablishment, then getting caught, and then being shot in the chest by anderson. and then you recognized the room; it was aaron's bedroom - back at the base.

aaron notices your alarm and grabs your hands to calm you down. "it's alright you're safe here, i'm not gonna hurt you."

it may have been an idiotic move, but you believed his words.

"why are we here?"

"i had no choice. everyone believes your dead, and the base is the best place to keep you hidden."

"i don't understand...i'm not a medic by any means, but shouldn't i be dead?"

"you have sara and sonya to thank for that. they were able to save your heart from stopping before being dragged away by my father. then, i was able to take their energy as my own and heal the rest of you."

you were thankful for his aid in your life being saved, but you were too focused on many other worries to properly thank him. like the state of your friends.

you try your hand at getting up, trying to ignore the dizziness that comes with it. aaron holds you steady to stop you from falling.

aaron protests, "you need to res-" but you interrupt, "i need to go. i-i have to find everyone and help them."

"you can't."

you stop your movement and turn to aaron, "what do you mean? i know i'm in horrible shape, but i have to see juliette and everyone else could be in troubl-"

"it's over."

your face scrunches up in confusion, "what?"

aaron's silent for a few movements; you can't breathe. he looks down, his grip on you tightening, "they're dead. all of them."

you look at him in horror, your mouth open, but no words are released. your knees give out, and Aaron carries your full weight in his arms.

he slowly brings you both down to the ground next to the bed, still holding onto you. "i'm sorry, please believe me when i say that. if there was a way to spare you of this pain i would do it in a heartbeat."

you feel like a shell of yourself, you have no reaction, just an emotionless look on your face.

"what happened?" you say in a monotone voice.

"amor, i think you need to lay down or shower, then eat some-"

"what happened," you repeat with a harsher voice.

"they... overtook your friends, some were taken to be tortured, but most were.. shot dead."

"and omega point?"

"....destroyed. they got the coordinates and bombed the entire foundation."

you feel disconnected from reality; nothing feels real. everything is numb; you can't find it in yourself to let out any sort of emotion.

"so juliette, kenji, adam, james..."

aaron didn't need to answer for you to know. they're gone.

the first thing you did was laugh like a lunatic, aaron likely looked at you like you were mad. then finally, the tears came.

you yelled at aaron to get out, even though it was his room. in hysteria, you started levitating things and throwing them at him until he exited the room.

you don't know how long you spent sobbing on the floor next to the bed. you weren't even sure if you were going to stop.

your voice was sore from the number of times you wailed apologies to juliette for being a bad sister and for not being there to protect your friends.

when the tears finished, you reached denial. you knew your friends - there was no way they were dead. juliette was stronger than you, physically and sometimes mentally, so if you could survive a bullet to the chest, your sister could be alive.

when aaron comes back hours later to check on you, he didn't expect to see you walking around in new attire, packing clothes and items into a bag.

"what are you doing?"

"i have to go back."

aaron was taken aback by your statement, but you claimed there was a possibility there were people who survived. he countered saying he'd seen the damage and it wasn't likely. you didn't listen to him and continued preparing.

"this is unhealthy and possibly delusional thinking."

"well, then put me back in the asylum if i'm wrong. i'm going if you let me or not."

he sighs, and then gives in, not before insisting he comes along with you. now you were the one taken aback. was he actually offering to help you?

"why do you seem surprised? it's not as if i haven't made my care for you quite clear."

"no offense, but you're the most confusing man ever. i want to trust you, i've seen your good-natured side. you even claim to.. love me. but you work for the reestablishment, but then claim to be on my side. don't forget the fact you tried to turn juliette and i into weapons for the reestablishment, held us, hostage, at your base, and put us into a torture chamber. not exactly behavior that screams i want to help you."

at this he laughs then laughs harder and you get annoyed, not knowing what was funny. you were ready to kick him out again until he finally stooped.

"i suppose i owe you a long overdue explanation."

nothing prepared you for his next words. aaron began to retell the events from his perspective. starting with his true intentions of bringing you and juliette from the asylum - to study the both of you.

aaron explained his mother's condition, being unable to be touched - a reverse juliette basically. he sought out her at first, then discovered your existence and became intrigued more.

he invented the guise of using you both for weapons as a way for his father to agree to invest in you both.

as anderson mentioned before, juliette was of special interest because of her ability, and yours wasn't as impressive to him at the time. aaron had to convince the commander that your mind reading ability would be great for spy purposes.

once he brought the two of you to the base, he was ready to face 2 vicious and demented sisters, but it was literally the opposite of that. instead he got stuck with two stubborn and immature, you were offended at that, teenage girls.

"juliette was more of the hard-headed one, you mostly just followed along, i figured that out after the dinner and dress stunt. however, i can't say feeding you myself wasn't pleasurable for myself."

aaron saw your fear of your own ability and had intentions to help you and juliette, in his own way.

his tried various ways to unlock your potential - with juliette he tried anger and bullying and with you he knew you couldn't suppress hearing thoughts, so he figured spending time with you was the best option. but he came to understand how much he loved being around you.

"i was so addicted to being around you, i got sidetracked. but then my worry grew when you both showed no progress on enhancing your ability, so as a last resort, i arranged an experiment."

to your surprise, he revealed it was actually a simulation which was a major relief to you that no one was actually harmed by your powers, well, no one besides warner. but he partly deserved it for putting you through that.

although you were mad he implanted that fear into you, you had to admit. it did work.

"so, instead of finding some way to inform me earlier of all this, you make my sister and i think of you as some supervillain who wanted control of our autonomy." you grab the nearest pillow and launch it at him. "you're an idiot! we were scared out of our minds! juliette and i's last conversation was a fight over that! do you know much much time you could- are you seriously smiling?"

"god, i love it when you yell at me."

now that the ait was clear, you were able to put more of your faith into aaron and his intentions. and not feel bad about kissing him.

the two of you worked together on a plan to get you back to what was left of omega point.

you met an older gentleman by the name of delalieu. he was very sweet, but it got a little vexing every time he jumped to warner's defense whenever you made a remark; even ones said in levity. 

a few days later, when aaron deemed it safer, you both set off to leave. although you had the misfortune of having to be stuffed into a cart to avoid being spotted. at least it was better than the body bag you were transported in the first time.

the two of you transported to what was left of omega point in a tank. aaron notably was able to drive to the location with ease. you grew suspicious because one - he told his father he didn't know how to get there and two - he was unconscious the whole time you, juliette, kenji, and adam drove there. you decide to question him on the matter.

"i wasn't completely unconscious on the trip there. i was very conscious when you were touching my hair and tracing my features."

"i knew it! you little faker, you intentionally pushed yourself onto me didn't you!"

when you both arrived, the scene was as horrible as you imagined. - rubbles and dust everywhere and a huge gaping hole miles down. you felt sick thinking about everyone who stayed behind, including james. god, you hoped at least your friends were alright.

you were suddenly tackled to the ground by warner, and the sound of a gunshot followed after. a voice yelled out, and you immediately recognized it - kenji.

you got up instantly and ran to him, attacking him with a gigantic hug, tears brimming at your eyes.

"oh my god, i thought you were dead!"

"i thought you were dead!"

"you almost killed me right now when you shot at us like a lunatic!"

"sorry, i was aiming for warner- where'd he go?"

you change subject, "juliette? is she alright?"

kenji confirms she is alive, and you felt like you could breathe again. you needed to see her as soon as possible.

kenji started looking for warner like a madman, and you, too, were curious about his whereabouts - until he startled you by "showing" up behind you. he had turned himself invisible.

he was ready to take you both back before kenji shot him, but you declined to say you had to see juliette and anyone else that survived. aaron was reluctant but then handed you a pager, not that you knew what it was, and gave you a limit of four hours. you thought it to be ridiculous, but you compromised to ease his worries.

you and kenji ventured back to adam's house, your first time being there since you were unable to the first time around. he, heart-achingly, filled you in on the events, how they searched for you, how many were lost, and who remained. you told your side of the action, including everything with aaron.

kenji did have some judgemental comments, but you understood he was reeling from the shock of everything, especially from the details regarding aaron.

you bite your tongue when kenjii speaks ill of warner. defending him would only make you look naive, plus you couldn't deny the others had their reasoning for disliking the guy. you would end up sounding like delalieu.

"so what, you like the guy now? god, don't tell me your gullible enough to fall for it just because he's the first guy to show interest in you."

his words cut deep into you, but you don't respond and change the subject back to getting to the house. you didn't want to argue after being so happy kenji is alive. but damn did you want to give him a shove with your powers.

your spirits lifted as soon as you reached the destination. you pull kenji to the front door and urge him to open it. he knocks and confirms his identity before it's opened by winston, who was shocked to see you.

you greeted him quickly, feeling bad, but your main focus was your sister. next you see alia, castle, brendan, lily and alia. (all frozen to their spots as soon as they noticed you). when you see james you give him a tight hug, thankful for his well-being.

adam and juliette walked out of the kitchen engaged in conversation, not noticing you at first. then kenji drew their attention with a cough.

both of you were paralyzed at first; you were the first to break and jump at her with tears and an overbearing hug. she was quick to return it, then the both of you started crying in relief to see each other after thinking the other was dead.

"i'm so sorry for how we ended things, you had a right to be upset and i was a bad sister for not taking your feelings into account. "

"no, i'm the one who overreacted. i should've came with you the moment you told me you felt something was wrong."

"okay we get it elsa and anna; you're both very happy to see each other. please, no more tears."

you both pulled away, laughing softly at your dramatics. you turned and gave adam a much quicker hug, him happy to see you breathing.

with greeting out of the way, everyone's attention was turned back to you, particularly how you survived. you took a deep breath, and retold everything you told kenji, leaving out intimate details about aaron and you. everyone reacted similarly to the way kenji had.

the room then filled with different questions and thoughts, all voices one another, reminding you of listening to different people's thoughts at the same time. they all started assuming the worst in warner, and this time you did defend him - but it only made you look guilty.

the subject turned over to what was the next plan of action. castle was out of it, so he provided no help. adam was the first to protest any sort of fight, his concern for james overshadowing. juliette was on the fence about it for adam's sake, but you knew she wanted to fight against the reestablishment like everyone else, if not more. especially after all they had put the two of you through.

the conversation barely got past arguments before the front door was suddenly brought down. everyone, besides you, held up weapons to attack the intruder - you held up your hands, ready to use your power if necessary. but then you recognized the intruder quickly - aaron.

you ran over in front of him and advised everyone to stand down, but they didn't listen, they were too focused on the fact aaron had arrived.

you readied yourself to lower their weapons yourself, but then aaron made a move of his own and flung all the guns across the room with levitation.

"i was gonna do that.." you mumbled quietly to yourself.

"apologies, amor, i'll let you get them next time."

everyone else was stunned, you explained aaron's gift, but it was still a shock to see. a few banters are exchanged, but aaron, uncaring as ever, ignores them and proceeds to grab your arm so the two of you can leave. however, you stop him, not wanting to leave on bad terms.

you informed everyone that aaron was on your side, and they were understandably doubtful to believe it, but as they noticed how he acted with you, it became more believable.

you took the chance to try to persuade everyone to stand up again against the rebellion. juliette and kenji were the first to side with you, and slowly everyone followed along, adam and ian being the ones more reluctant. you could respect adam for thinking of james and juliette, and ian was just an asshole, but he was also mourning. in a turn of events, castle chimed in with his support.

aaron, not thrilled about the new members of your alliance, announced the two of you would be leaving. juliette protested, not wanting to be away from you after she just got you back.

part of you longed to lay on the comfortable bed back at the base, but you needed to stay with your team. so, you made an agreement aaron could return for you the next day.

"so i'll come back for you tomorrow? thirteen hundred hours."

"thirteen hundred hours? like from now?"

"it means one o'clock."

"... one o'clock is not thirteen hundred hours from now."

aaron was holding back a laugh, juliette was just as confused, and kenji physically facepalmed.

aaron eventually left after you reassured him you'd be fine. ian was of no help as he kept insulating it was better if you left. adam stormed off not long after, juliette following to calm him. she returned looking dejected and assumed she and adam fought. kenji suggested the three of you go out for a walk, although it was late.

during the night stroll, all three of you got emotions off your chest. kenji's feelings about the whole situation, juliette's issues with adam (they were still technically broken up) , and your turmoil with warner. kenji was somewhat holding back, but you knew he was just trying to hold up a strong facade.

as you disclosed your confusion and feelings, kenji had many questions, from disbelief, and juliette mainly just patiently listened and remained silent.

"so you like the guy, for what his personality? totally has nothing to do with his looks?

"hey, i'm not shallow! ...aaron just happens to be gifted with excellent looks."

"hearing you call him aaron is so weird. and i'm not judging you if you did. seeing adam shirtless is probably what drew juliette to him at the start."

"hey!"

the light banter made the solemn conversation easier to talk through. it was nice to be always from everything for a bit, and just act like friends.

you three returned back, kenji walked to the door first, and juliette grabbed your wrist to stop you from following him.

"i just want to talk to you alone real quick. about warner,.. or aaron, whatever you call him."

you held your breath, partly ready for her to possibly start another argument.

"i know you're confused about what you feel for him still, but i need you to know if you decide you love him - i'll support you. i don't want it to get in the way our bond. after everything that's happened... i realized there no time to waste on petty little things, especially about guys. all that should matter is we're always here for each other."

you give each other another heartfelt and tearful hug; glad kenji wasn't there to comment on how sappy and emotional it is.

"so, just between us sisters, do you think you love him?"

you laugh, and open the truth of your heart of her.

back inside, you all prepared for him or, as aaron called it a "slumber party." wasn't too far off since everyone besides james, adam, and castle slept on the ground.

your place was between kenji and juliette, each of you having your own pillow and blanket. winston and brendan bantered a bit about kicking faces before the turns finally went out.

"kenji, i know it will be incredibly hard, but keep your hands to yourself."

"you wish. you should be telling your sister that, she's basically all over me every night."

"shut up."

the next day brought a lot of drama. the day started off late, leaving little time to discuss before aaron arrived. another fight between adam and juliette set off. the issue being that aaron was coming back, which adam was completely against. he had been fine with your stay, but he wouldn't compromise for letting him return. adam gave an ultimatum, if you brought warner he would essentially kick you out.

juliette went to your defense and partly aaron's for your benefit. this only set off adam more. kenji tried his hand at intervening but only got backlash from adam, who stormed off outside after. everyone else stayed quiet, but you could tell one or two silently agreed with adam.

you didn't wanna stir any more trouble than needed, so you started preparing yourself to go, clicking the little mechanism aaron gave you a couple times to ensure it worked.

brendan, winston, castle, lily insisted you stay as well. james also gave a small plead for you to remain. juliette believed she could still talk some sense into adam.

it felt great to have their support, but at the same time, you felt bad for having to divide everyone into teams, yours or adam's. instead of building a team, you were tearing one apart.

before you knew it, the newly fixed door was again slammed open by the same intruder from the day before. aaron barged in, almost of breath and distressed. you thought something happened to him because of how disarranged he looked.

he locked his gaze on you and speedily grabbed you in his arms, cupping your face and scanning you up and down for any injuries. you were a bit embarrassed as everyone was a witness to aaron fussing over your well-being.

"did you run here?"

"of course, you beeped the pager."

you assured him you were alright and turned back to everyone with faces of incredulity.

"woah, this is... freaky." winston began.

"i worked for this guy for more than a year and never even saw him smile."

you explained to aaron that you couldn't stay at the house any longer but couldn't leave everyone else either. he offers to have them stay in the training area, but kenji declines, needing a better offer. juliette sides with kenji, the rest don't fully trust warner, so they need reassurance.

you couldn't bare the thought of leaving everyone again, so you pleaded to aaron to give in to their demands, willing to compromise whatever. you were happy and a little shocked, along with everyone else, when he accepted the terms.

"i'll return tomorrow at fourteen hundred ho-" he sees your confused face again, "2 o'clock. i really must educate you on military time, amor"

"or you could just say the time on a clock like the average person."

aaron takes your hand and guides you back to the tank to make your way back to the base before anyone notes his disappearance.

you express your gratitude for his help, and he responds by saying there's not need, he would do whatever to ease your pain. he also partly owed it to you for being so dismissive when you believed your friends were alive.

"i know they all judge you right now, and maybe they always will. but, i do believe you're a good person, and sure, you have flaws, but who doesn't - i am certainly no saint. i don't want to fix you...just want to make you see yourself in a better light like i do." your final words before falling into a slumber against the window.

you return back to the base the way you came in with delalieu's help. your both back in aaron's room, not having said a word to each other since the tank. aaron's started to ask questions about what had happened back at adam's house. you briefly told him about the drama about adam not wanting you there if you were with warner.

aaron became upset, not liking how adam treated you, and reassured you he would harm him if you wanted him to. you quickly assure him that you didn't care about it, you weren't going to beg to stay where you weren't wanted. you were mostly concerned about what it had done to whatever relationship was left between juliette and adam. she obviously loved him, but she couldn't hold herself back for him either.

you go silent at the mention of juliette, remembering your last private conversation. aaron, being able to easily feel your emotions, pick up and it and presses for information.

"it's just.. she asked me if i loved you."

aaron's breath hitches, "what was your response."

"i told her, 'love is a strong word. i'm not even sure i fully understand it. but i think...no i know. i'm falling for him.' "

aaron didn't respond, he got up and went to his office, shutting the door behind him. you weren't sure what it meant. and you didn't see him for the rest of the day.

you couldn't sleep that night; your mind was doing circles in anticipation of the group's arrival tomorrow.

you got up with the intention of solely getting a glass of water, but then heard a loud noise come from the direction aaron's office.

wanting to make sure he was okay, you walked in without notice. the door was already halfway open, so you figured it was alright.

the room was bigger than your childhood home's living room; it was filled with different seats of furniture, books, shelf, etc. aaron was at his large desk - his shirt discarded and only wearing slacks and socks.

aaron's brushes you off, telling you to go to bed, but your focus is on a small jar in his hands. you ask what it is, but he avoids answering, so you grab the object yourself. he attempts to get it from you, but you move away - deja vu to when aaron wouldn't return your journal to you. it felt nice to be on the flip side of it for once.

you read the label and understood it was a medicine. then it clicked; it was for his scars. and he was embarrassed about it. it was kind of cute.

he confirms it's for his back, so you nicely offer to do it for him since he seemed to have trouble reaching it. he was obviously self-conscious no matter how much he denied it, and you told him it didn't matter; you'd already seen them. but he kept turning his back away from you. you were getting suspicious that the scars were only part of the reason he was hiding.

you got annoyed and impulsively used your power to keep him sat and finally make his back face you. you could apologize later.

then you saw it. yes, his scars were still there, but on top of that were your wonky star doodles. the ones you drew in his cells two weeks ago in his cell at omega point.

you were confused about how they were still there, darker than you remember. the pen you used was lousy; you would know since you used it to write and the ink always smudged. the pen ink was also blue, and this was black. the skin around it was also freshly red.

"wait.. is this tattooed?"

his silence confirmed it. you were speechless. he tattooed your silly little doodles. he needed the medicine to numb the pain of the ink.

"why would you do this?"

"figured it your mark was better than the ones my dad left me."

"aaron."

"it was the first time i looked at my back and smiled."

you think your heart burst on the spot.

"god, i would've made them better if i knew you were gonna mark it."

"they're perfect." god, you were ready to melt.

you compose yourself and insist you put on the medicine since it was your tattoo design that's causing him slight pain. he didn't protest this time. you applied it in silence, then worked up the courage to ask about his scars.

aaron was very hesitant, you were ready to be shut down, but then he opened up to you. his scars being a 'birthday gift' from his father. it was heartbreaking to hear and almost brought tears to your eyes, but you knew pity was the last thing he wanted.

"when you saw them back in my cell, i waited to see that look of repulse on your face, but it never came. you observed them so carefully like they were the most interesting thing to you. then you had the gall to say it was similar to abstract art."

"well, it's true. they're not ugly, and you're certainly not repulsive. the scars are like a show of strength for everything you've been through. they're yours; only you decide what they represent. anyone who thinks differently is a total loser."

"please, stop."

"i'm sorry, did i say something wr-"

"i love you. so much that the first thing i did when returning here after escaping omega point was getting delalieu to tattoo my skin because your marks faded. i didn't even let myself wash off in fear they'd disappear before i got a chance to preserve them. i couldn't wipe the smile off my face whenever i looked at it through a mirror. it always reminded me of you. our moments. our last kiss. i burn for you greatly, and you don't even realize it."

"aaron..."

"don't."

"you know how i feel. but i'm still figuring it out, this is all new to me, and i want to get to know you better-"

"please. just go." and you did.

the following day, right on schedule, aaron goes to pick up the group while you stay behind waiting in the training facility that he briefly gave you a tour of.

the group arrived, and you happily greeted them as they looked around the place in awe. aaron began to go over rules and boundaries for the group. after the previous night, you were unsure about where you stood with warner, so you decided to give him some space and stand with the rest of the group. as he spoke, he threw not-so subtle glances your way, making you confused about whether he was upset with you or not.

aaron ventured off, everyone was setting up their items, and you separated with kenji and juliette. they book had look more distressed upon their arrival. apparently, juliette took one last chance to try and convince adam to come along, he didn't budge, saying he had to protect james and encouraged juliette to stay as well. it resulted in an argument; eventually, he respected her decision to fight - but it would mean the end for them. you comforted your sister through her heartbreak, adam had been a big part of her life, even a bit of yours. so to say goodbye must've been hard for her.

kenji also tried to persuade adam, but it escalated, and the two started throwing harsh words at each other. you knew adam was his friends, whether they both acknowledged it or not, and after omega point, you were sure kenji didn't want to lose anyone else. leaving james behind made it worse.

the direction of conversation then turned to you, and you were originally going to deny any conflict, but kenji and juliette picked up on the tension between you and aaron.

juliette starts, "so, what happened with warner?"

"don't know what you mean."

kenji and juliette give each other a mutual glance, " we aren't blind; the guy kept looking at you as if you'd killed his puppy. like seriously, there could've been a rain cloud over him with how much he was sulking."

you opened up to the happenings of last night, leaving out too personal information about warner, and how you weren't sure what to do now. kenji lost his mind at the bit about the tattoo, this new side of warner still weirding him out.

"i thought you were into him?"

"i mean, i am. it's just all so confusing. i'm not trying to string him along, i just want to truly know him before i could want more with him. it feels like he knows every single thing about me, while i'm barely starting to paint a picture. or maybe he only thinks he loves me or he's only interested in me because of my gift."

"dude, everything he has done for us so far is all because of you. what kind of guy tattoo's a stupid drawing someone drew on their back? and i swear he gets cartoon heart eyes when he looks at you too long. i know i called you naive for believing it, but that was before i saw first hand how intimate his feelings are for you."

"he's right, y/n. think about if he only cared about your gift, he would've been treating us the same, after all, he brought both of us in. sure, he acts decent towards me, but i'm pretty sure it has more to do with the fact we're sisters. you don't play nice with someone's family unless you really like them."

you were silent as you absorbed both their perspectives.

kenji sighs, "damn, i need a love life."

"interested in someone else."

"technically single, but i'd choose the asylum over you."

"i'm starting to miss when you both were meek and quiet."

after that friendly therapy session, you regained your focus on the important task, formulating a plan to overtake anderson. you had a few ideas, some you talked about with aaron, but a seventeen-year-old girl can only do so much on her own, so that's why you bring in your sister, who is also seventeen. as the two of you went through essentially the same trauma, she had as much right to be a big part of this as you.

aaron came back hours later, and everyone gathered around and took a seat somewhere. to your surprise, aaron sat down right the to you. the tension is so much worse side by side. knowing aaron could read what you felt didn't make it better.

you began to illustrate the details of the plan, juliette helping fill in and explain points. the goal is to get anderson to sector 45; to do that, you had to take over sector 45. getting people and soldiers to rebel was going to be the trickiest part, and much of the group wasn't on board that it could work.

"we're going to have to show them our strengths, i'll help them see our strength." you explain.

"and if they shoot us?" ian counters..

juliette shrugs, "then don't do it, i'm sure my sister and i are capable of being amazing by ourselves."

"real humble , j."

brendan speaks up, "so, we've got somewhat of a synopsis of juliette's gift, but, no offense y/n, what is it you can do besides read minds?"

it was true; almost everyone wasn't aware of other capabilities you possessed. you didn't like to divulge your gift much back at omega point, kenji, juliette, and castle knowing the most. unlike juliette, who had many different events where she showed her amazing strength, and you were sure they saw more when she practiced at adam's house while you were separated.

you briefly revealed more about your powers, mind-reading, telekinesis, and your ongoing training in telepathic defense. you admitted to losing control a few times as well. the group looked more amazed as you went on.

"prove it."

"yeah, c'mon dude, show us."

everyone else started egging you on to make a show of your powers; you even saw aaron look interested in wanting to see it. you gave in, and asked aaron for permission to throw some objects around, he nodded.

you started levitating different objects and throwing a few around. kenji started begging for you to lift him, so you did - then winston and brendan kept begging to go next. you showcased a small shield of energy you were able to produce. lastly, they wanted to see your telepathic projection, but you explained it would involve harming one of them, so you shut it down.

"so like, you can do all that too right? since you can steal powers?" winston questions warner.

"yes, if i wanted to i could take hers, or any of your powers and use it."

you cough into your hand, "no one's better than the original, though."

"so the two of you together can basically can..."

"take over the world?"

"...was going to say kick serious ass, but you're not wrong."

warner doesn't respond, but you can see him holding back a smile.

the thought of warner taking powers was eerie to the group, but you reassured them of your faith and trust in aaron. then the conversation redirects to the plan. castle questions of what is supposed to happen if you do win, such as who is going to lead.

"i will." juliette pulls you by the arm next to her, "and y/n will help me."

the room falls silent. even warner is still. your head snaps to your sister, that was not a topic the two of you discussed. nor did you know it was up for discussion. you, of course, didn't express your surprise, you couldn't show doubt when this whole meeting relied on trust. juliette's speech on the new world motivated everyone to follow through with the battle plan, you silently supported it, but in your mind, you didn't think it was the best idea for you both to lead a whole country. you think juliette forgets just how young and inexperienced you both are.

but you were sure this was a problem that could be mended later, right?

aaron and you were alone in his room again, the silence so deafening, you mentally cringed. you attempted to start the conversation on his thoughts about the plan, but he began to brush you off. frustrated, you call him out on his recent behavior.

"why is it all or nothing with you? i didn't reject you- all i said was i want to know you better, i saw you in a bad light for a good while. i want to see the positive just as much."

"or maybe you're just expecting too much from me."

"why are you being so stubborn!"

"because you being disgusted with what you learn, would end me."

he walked out after, a common occurrence, it seemed, these past days.

you vented all your frustrations into training the next day. you told yourself you wouldn't focus on warner, no matter how good he looked in sweatpants, and instead use your pent-up energy to master your powers.

it paid off well; you got closer to creating a shield. but maybe a little too well, since you accidentally launched kenji across the room with your energy force. he got you back off, turning invisible and tripping you. juliette concentrated on moving her dumbbell with the force of will, but she struggled. reminded you a lot of your training at omega point. you offered her tips on what worked for you, and kenji coached.

at some point, you went to the back to drink from your water bottle, unintentionally near where warner was bench pressing. then suddenly you heard someone yell 'get down'. it all happened in a flash, you turned around a bit late, and the rock wall behind you came crumbling down at you. you quickly attempted to lift your hands, levitate most of the impact and braced yourself. suddenly, instead of your body colliding with dozen of sharp rocks, you were surrounded in bubbles. you turned the rumble into fucking bubbles.

you stood mouth wide open in shock for a minute, the people around you just as amazed. aaron was the first to run to you, asking if you were alright, and you nodded, still a bit shocked. he expressed his astoundment at your newfound skill.

juliette then came up to you and profusely apologized, and you assured her you were okay and accidents happen.

"i can't count how many times i almost knocked out castle with things during my training. you'll get the hang of it. plus, i'm sure aaron had trouble learning to control power too."

"oh, no. though i've always been very good at everything i do."

you smack his chest, "you are seriously no help."

you continue to train very hard for the rest of the week, your muscle will likely permanently ache in pain.

you and aaron hadn't gotten much better, you really did try to reach out so many times, but if he wasn't going to cooperate, why waste energy.

he made a habit of intentionally putting his focus on things around the base and working late, so he wouldn't see you until you were already asleep.

if things ended badly between you two, i'd be because of his own stupidity, not for your lack of trying nor the judgment of his character.

other than that, all was well. until kenjii decided to casually drop a bomb that adam and james were coming to the base. juliette started freaking out, and you weren't sure where you and adam stood, but you were excited to see james again.

adam arrived, and tensions between the ex-couple were high. they both were cordial but weren't sure how to act around one another. adam went up and apologized to you for his treatment, and you accepted it because he was once your friend, and you hated grudges. james excitedly greeted you, and you gave him a small tour.

then aaron showed up, ignoring adam, but he and james went back in forth in exchanges. it was very entertaining to watch, and aaron pointed out your enjoyment.

"why do you call her amor?"

"it means love in spanish."

"so, do you love her?"

"why, do you?"

"n-no! she's really pretty- i mean, i like her...no, ugh, she's like a million years older than me!"

"hey! i'm not prehistoric!"

you cut the exchange short, grabbing james on the shoulders and dragging him away, "how about we go back t kenji while i explain to you age numbers..."

you and juliette got upgrades in suits. yours similar to your former, but with minor changes. your color was now a darker red with accents of black, your coat was now high to low with slides for the sides of your legs to show, new knee-high combat coots, and new long fingerless gloves. yours and juliette's new material was made to accommodate your powers.

for training, you watched juliette and kenji go back in forth in combat - kenji mostly won due to technique, but juliette overpowered him a few times.

aaron came up to you, and insisted the two of you train in combat together. you rejected his offer; combat was not your forte, you were repeatedly told by kenji many times. so you just stuck to using your powers. but aaron wouldn't back off.

"it's important to learn combat, amor."

"if i run into a bad guy i'll just fling him away."

"and when you can't use your powers, what happens?"

you were going to argue that wouldn't happen, but knew it wouldn't suffice for him, so you just gave in, so he would shut up.

it was no shocker that he easily blocked your punches and stopped any attack. he even had the audacity to be amused at how badly you were doing.

"wow, you are quite terrible."

"okay, i get it i suck. can i go back to my training?"

"c'mon, amor, don't give up so easily. punch me."

as much as you were annoyed, you didn't want to physically hurt him. aaron laughed when you told him that. that itself, ticked you off. and it did not help that now you had an audience invested in the interaction.

you still didn't relent, aaron was a bit disappointed, but he focused on fixing your form.

you don't know if it was the fact aaron laughed, his constant comments, or all your pent-up frustration, but something came over you. while aaron was distracted with giving walking you through hitting an opponent, you hit him - hard. you might've used some of your powers to make the hit stronger, but he didn't need to know that.

aaron staggered back, shockingly caught off guard. you honestly expected him to block it like your other ones; but no you managed to land a hit on his cheekbone area, hitting some of the side of his nose. your poor form made for your knuckles to hurt badly.

everyone stopped what they were doing; even you froze. kenji in the back, trying not to laugh. aaron then recovered, his land touching the side of his face. his face didn't show anger, pain, nor surprise - he was smiling in admiration.

"oh my god, i'm so sorry!"

"no, don't apologize, amor. i'm very content being the first to experience your strength firsthand."

you and aaron ended up cutting practice short and went to the infirmary. you helped treat the large bruise on his face you'd given him as a small apology, and he wrapped your sprained knuckles and partly chasted you for incorrect hand form. was he looking to get punched again?

the following day, aaron woke you up earlier than your normal routine. he mentioned an opportunity for you and juliette to finally get practice outside of the base, and you quickly agreed. you asked why so suddenly, and then he disclosed he was going to visit his mother. it was her birthday, he explained. he didn't say much after that and went over that kenji will keep you and juliette invisible after he leaves.

but you couldn't help your curiosity and asked a little about his mother. hearing the story of his ring broke your heart. the only gifts you got were when you and juliette exchanged homemade gifts for your shared birthday, but the story made you appreciate that tradition much more.

"i think it's good you still visit her."

"is it?"

"it is. knowing you have someone there is sometimes enough. whenever i remembered i had my sister with me, it made the asylum not completely terrible. and around you, i feel like i achieve anything."

juliette, kenji, and you, invisible, met with warner at his tank. you didn't even need to tell him of your presence before he helped you into the tank and got on the driver side to start it.

"how'd you..." you ask, confused.

"i can sense your presences. especially yours."

"woah, freaky. what's mine feel like? peanut better?" he got ignored.

you settled on the opposite window side, juliette next to you, and kenji next to aaron. kenji started shuffling around, uncomfortable.

"dude, y/n, switch seats with me."

"what why?"

"your boyfriend is touching my leg."

"you flatter yourself." aaron interjects.

"c'mon hurry up! i think he's about to knife me..."

"just switch with juliette. it's easier."

"no way, if i'm gonna move, i might as well get the window seat."

you roll your eyes (not that he can see), and the two of you begin a messy movement of bodies to switch seats. poor juliette, stuck in the middle, getting hit by an occasional limb.

"ow, you just hit me in the face-" juliette complains.

"sorry, i'm trying my best-"

"now you just hit me!" you exclaim.

"oh my god, let me just-"

"kenji!"

kenji was the first to get to his new seat, you were situated over both him and juliette. kenji, tired of your leg in his face, shoved you with brief warning. and in an attempt to stable yourself you put your hands out on aaron's lap, but one hand missed. and landed on his groin. aaron visibly flinched and put his lips together in a straight line to contain his painful expression.

you gasped and hastily moved your hands in a panic, then to make matters worse - you fell face first in his lap. you were so happy to be invisible at the moment.

aaron takes a sharp intake of air, and his knuckles turn white from how tight he grips the wheel. you scramble you sit correctly, accidentally putting a hand on his groin again before finally in the seat. the silence was deafening.

aaron promptly dropped you both off at an empty site and bid you goodbye. you gave him some last words for comfort that you noticed he appreciated. then he went off.

sometime later, it was time for the four of you to meet up again. the practice had been somewhat successful. there were many miscalculations with practicing and being invisible. the three of you kept stumbling into each other, having the wrong place meant, and arguing over who was right. but ignoring that, you did get some practice in there.

aaron, however, was unusually late. it worried you. kenji and juliette didn't think much of it. but since you knew his location, you sensed there was something wrong. you asked both of them to check on him to ensure he was already, and you three walked to the house. you avoided mentioning aaron's mother.

you asked juliette and kenji to wait outside as you went inside.knji begrudgingly agreed, ensuring he could keep the invisibility up inside, too. juliette bid you to be careful and return as soon as possible.

you saw a few different pictures of aaron with his mother as a child. you looked through different rooms until you found him. he was sitting on the floor with his knees to his chest, his frame trembling. his mother died; you put together. you quickly knelt down and gave him a hug that he accepted. you let him hold you tightly as he sobs sorrowfully. it was painful to witness, so you let him cry onto your shoulder for however long he needed.

an hour later you returned, kenji and juliette already in the tank, no invisibility. you didn't need for them to say anything to know they had questions, so you avoided their gaze. next to you, aaron held your hand the whole way back

his mother's death reminded you of his family, the unknown fact to him that he shares blood with adam and james. you wanted him to know, but truly, you didn't want any part of that mess. knowing was already knawing at you as it was. juliette disagreed; she thought adam needed to tell aaron.

you thought leaving aaron alone was the best decision. you even planned to spend the night where everyone else was. but as you were packing a bag, he stopped you. aaron grabs your arm and turns you to look at him.

"you're right. i am holding back. i was telling you how much you were in denial, but it was me who was holding back. you've always seen me in a light like no one has. i've never thought of myself as even a decent man until you came around. and it scares me. so much. i'm afraid of disappointing you, and you'll be disgusted with me, see the monster i see every day in the mirror. but if giving more of myself is all it takes to be yours, then it's done. you can learn every crevice of my soul if it means you'll stay with me."

you knew it then, "i love you." you are in love.

he grabs your face and kisses you in less than a second. the kiss being so loving and careful, he takes his time memorizing your lips. he lifts you in the air prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist. from there, the kiss molds into passion and need. before you know it, you're both lying on the bed with him hovering over you.

aaron groans into your mouth, "say it again."

you softly giggle, "i love you."

"god, you have no idea what you just unleashed, amor."

your stomach is doing a million glips. your entire body is in frenzy. you're ready to have a heart attack there and then. it was only just the beginning as well.

"lift your hips for me, amor."

"c'mon, angel, don't get shy on me now."

"i'm afraid you're never getting rid of me now mi amor."

very long night.

you slept through most of the morning, only woken up by aaron laying kissing down your neck. then he started going lower down your body. any sleep you had was now gone.

"aaron.. what are you doing."

"nothing."

"liar."

"shhh.. you just lay there, i'm just going to enjoy my breakfast."

the man was insaitable; you were sure you weren't ever gonna get out of bed that day. but eventually, you did. had to dedicate half an hour to walking properly again.

you went to you rfinal fitting for suits, and the new look was incredible. juliette traded the purple for a new black suit - kenji not liking his color stolen.

"why am i the only one in color now?"

"so, you can get spotted and shot at first while the rest of us get away." kenji answers.

"you're the worst."

aaron walked up behind you and whispered in your ear, "how quickly can you take this off?"

you smack his chest and give a playful disapproving look.

"i mean, it definitely can stay on, too."

"aaron!"

the bliss of everything helped ease your nerves for the following day. you were sat in aaron's room going over the plan for the millionth time. aaron kept reassuring you you'd be perfect and worrying will do nothing but install fear.

"it's just... what if it backfires. what if no one listens or surrenders?"

"it wont and they will."

"you're right. i'll just tell them my scary boyfriend will come after them."

"for you? always." he kisses your cheek, "i like the sound of you saying boyfriend, but scary?"

"well, everyone besides me is pretty scared of you."

"and what about you, what do you think of me?"

"i think you're cute."

"cute? yeah, let me show you just how cute, i can be."

aaron can never take his off of you for too long.

the next day, you, juliette, and the others stood in front of sector 45. both the people and the soldiers gathered there, all of their eyes fixed on your group. it was like the world's largest show and tell.

aaron started it off with a speech, informing everyone of the truth and the fact you and juliette were alive and well. then your sister took over, and directly told the crowd the plan to destroy the reestablishment, you gave a few words of your own, but juliette did most of the talking much to your relief.

then the questions from the crowd starting, so it was time for the group to showcase their powers. finally it was down to juliette and you.

juliette climbed to a building s good hundred feet from the ground, then jumped off and landed - making the ground tremble and shatter beneath her.

"how the hell do i top that?" you whisper to yourself.

with a comforting look from aaron, and a deep breath, you stepped into the front. you looked for a fairly easy but impressive thing to lift and spotted a very tall tower. bingo.

using your ability, you began carefully levitating it above the ground. you closed your hand into a fist, and the tower began breaking into bits. people began to panic as the rubble started coming toward them, but suddenly, you transformed the pieces into butterflies flying around the people. everyone looking around in amazement.

you took the biggest deep breath once you were done. very happy your practice paid off, and you didn't accidentally end up killing a crowd.

the crowd cheered and roared. the presentation proved to be successful because they got on board with destroying the reestablishment. the soldiers surrendered and joined the rebellion.

back in the training room, everyone was overjoyed with the success of overtaking sector 45, but now came the hardest part. winning a war.

juliette ran straight to you, attacking you in a very strong hug. so strong you had to tell her to chill on the power a bit. she apologized and released you. the recent events were still reeling in your mind, not fully comprehended.

"oh my god, juliette what did we just do?"

"we just started a war my dearest sister."

and now you had to wait to face anderson in likely a day or two. he almost killed you last time. but you wouldn't let him get lucky again.

the group, minus aaron, sat in the training room discussing what was next. one talk to another led to the topic of anderson.

"i've never even met the guy. wonder what he's like?"

"he's handsome. it's actually insane how evil, but striking he is." you blurt out.

juliette agrees, but the group looks at you weirdly.

"dude, you just called your boyfriend's dad attractive."

"what? i don't mean it in a weird way."

"hey, at least you've got a backup option if the first anderson doesn't work out. "

you throw a pillow at kenji's head.

then the topic of anderson's name came about, and that's when the trouble began. adam answered his name was paris; but suddenly, aaron arrived in the room, overhearing the conversation.

aaron put him against the wall, interrogated him on how he knew, and adam not saying anything. you couldn't take it anymore, so you yelled out the truth.

"he's your bother!"

aaron didn't believe it. juliette kept pressuring adam until he finally confessed. everyone gave the two of them space to work things out as everyone else busied themselves. when all was on steady terms, aaron sat with you.

"you should've told me."

"i know, i'm sorry. but it really wasn't my secret to tell."

"i had a right to know."

"c'mon, if you had some sort of family secret of mine, would you tell me right away?"

he hesitates, "you're right. you didn't want to get involved, i understand that."

you tell yourself it didn't matter, but you couldn't help but ask, did he deliberately avoid answering. you brush it off, probably nothing.

you returned to aaron's room, you both talked about the brother situation more, and aaron mentioned spending more time with both kent's. you were happy to see he was content to learn about his new family and want to see them more.

"this is great. i'm happy when you're happy. it's deserve more close people in your life."

"but i have you, and that's enough."

"very sweet, but family relationships are different. i was fortunate to have a sister in my life. what if my mother hadn't had the both of us, juliette not being my sister? seems unimaginable.."

aaron goes rigid, being in his lap, you notice immediately, "you alright?"

he relaxes and nods, "this whole situation has me a bit disorientated. enough brother talk. let me remind you why our relationship has much better advantages than other ones.."

a full night of sleep was just a foreign concept at this point.

it took one day for anderson to come to the sector. you all had luckily kind of prepared for it, so there was a plan set that you all were to follow. kenji, juliette, and you were responsible for going to the ship to deal with anderson while the rest took care of the matter on land.

before separating, you said your farewell and good luck to aaron. you tried to cry when saying goodbye to james and promising all would be fine. lastly, you gave aaron a kiss, and you promised each other to be safe.

"i have no doubts that you will succeed. my father can't even fathom the power you possess."

as you three board the port, you notice the massive groups of soldiers. juliette has the idea of you pushing them into the water with your powers, which you do.

you each take turns getting onto the ship, 5-second gap each. however, once you get inside, you can't find neither juliette or kenji. still invisible, you take your chances going through different doors, trying not alert soldiers.

but it fails because bullets began shooting in your direction. you run as fast as you can; unlike juliette, you are not invincible neither was your suit, at least not entirely.

with your invisibility gone, you get cornered with at least 7 soldiers, armed. your instincts kick in, and you start throwing men and attacking them with your energy. one soldier begins shooting at you when you're caught off guard. you hold your hand out as a protection and close your eyes, but you see the bullet is stopped - by your shield. you hadn't even made an effort to create it yet, and it presented itself like it was an automatic presence.

after witnessing that, the guard abandoned the ship and ran off. you couldn't blame him; you doubt he got paid enough to deal with all this.

you attention is shifted when you heard loud crashes and screams. you recognize them as your friend and your sister. you rush toward the room where the sound was originating.

you see kenji on the ground in pain and juliette not too far off; she's crouched down, clutching her head, and struggling to stand. you spot anderson, with another man, who you recognize is causing juliette's pain with his sonic wave gift.

you focus your energy on the boy, focusing on hurting him. then he stops his pressure waves and starts howling in pain, crouching down like juliette had. you were in a trance, channeling all your energy into hurting the guy, then - you snapped his neck.

you ran to juliette first, helping her get up, then you checked on kenji who was in worse shape.

anderson drew his gun, and started shooting bullets at you both, but it simply just bounced off. you and juliette drew your own weapons; you looked at each other and knew what had to happen next.

you focus your energy on anderson, his legs then collapse under him. he starts scrambling on the ground. juliette steps on his hands - shattering his borns with her power.

"remember that lesson on justice getting served?"

you shoot him in the chest, and juliette aims for his head.

4 shots - one for adam, one for aaron, one for juliette, and one for you.

it was a blur after that. sara and sonya were found and attended to kenji who was luckily not in any fatal condition, he would be okay.

it felt like you were experiencing someone out-of-body, unreal. juliette went up to the speaker system, capable of speaking to the entirety of the sector. she announced the end of the reestablishment and its new leader.

he was dead. it was over.

still bloodied and bruised, you stood on the tallest tower of the compound. you hadn't talked to anyone; everyone too busy rejoicing. but you were still digesting everything that had just happened.

you look over the new land and wonder what could be in store next.

you're not surprised when juliette and aaron find you, they know you too well at this point. they don't say anything and each take a side next to you. aaron puts a hand around your waist and tugs you toward him.

"the entire rest of the world is coming after us now, you know."

"i'd love to see them try." juliette says confidently.

"i believe as long as our bonds remain strong, we can overcome anything." though. that wasn't how you really felt.

you didn't want to damper a glorious day. but you couldn't help the pit forming inside of your stomach, telling you this was only the beginning of a treacherous path.

but nothing come could destroy the bonds you forged, right?

@whatsupb18 @letspretendimnottrash @heart-an0n @mrsspector-grant @kikilarast10 @nina357 @lupinswolfsbanes (tysm for the support)

[sjmgirlie]

I’m sorry. I try not to be rude about people’s ships because well you have fun with what you like and I’m totally okay with that. But the discourse about the Blood Rite and Hybern camp is hilarious.

Of course Cassian was freaking out knowing his mate was in the BR. A completely normal reaction when you have strong feelings/a bond with someone. Did Azriel? No. Was he still furious at the mention that the women he is training are in harms way? Of course??? Contrary to popular believe, Azriel actually exhibits way more protectiveness over the females in his life than any other character in ACOTAR:

Mor - Eris calls her a slut and he literally almost chokes him to death. Always protective of her in Court of Nightmares and around Eris.

Feyre - be careful how you speak about my High Lady. Helps her with flying and other moments.

Nesta - He brought her back from the mask and comforted her in CC3. Was never mean to her in any of the books even when the rest of IC was.

Elain - Hybern, when everyone (including her sisters and mate) thought she was crazy. There’s more.

His mother - Nesta makes a comment about how Az probably has a bad mom and he gets mad.

These are off the top of my head.

I feel like people forget that Az… does not like Illyrians. He literally said in ACOFAS:

“A pointless week of bloodshed” pg 25

“The Illyrians are pieces of shit” pg 67

If it truly came down to it, I’m sure that Azriel would at least argue to break their rules. Just like Cassian did. But Cassian still cares about the Illyrians. Azriel really doesn’t.

The involvement of Nesta and Gwyn is the Blood Rite is not as significant as Emerie’s!!!!!! Emerie is an Illyrian woman. She is the ONLY Illyrian woman to ever win the Rite. THAT is the biggest plot point of the event. Yes, Gwyn and Nesta participating builds on their healing journeys and the Valkyrie, but Emerie winning the Rite initiates what SJM laid out in ACOFAS. Where Cassian and Emerie first met. The layout for a change in Illyrians and the Illyrian women actually training as warriors.

If anyone is going to “fix” the Illyrians, it will be Emerie. Not Gwyn or Nesta. Emerie, the ILLYRIAN women. And Cassian would be who helps potentially. Because he actually cares about the Illyrians regardless of his history. He is the General. Of course he cares.

Now in terms of the rescue of Elain in Hybern, as many have already said, this was a massive risk. Cassian said "We'll get her back", but moved to comfort Nesta. Not only did Az actually notice Elain wasn’t there, but he also specifically said “I'M getting her back” twice (with rage if I might add) even after Nesta specifically said “then you will die”. Az, Feyre and Elain could have died in this rescue attempt too.

What was the point of this kidnapping if not to show he saves her? Tamlin redemption for giving Feyre the wind to fly? Jurian helping Feyre enter the camp? For Feyre to fly? Like maybe but the biggest point was Azriel going to save Elain. Tbh we kind of needed Feyre there to narrate lol. “You came for me” which Feyre says is what she saw in her dream of what the cauldron even lured Elain in by. That Grayson had come for her. He didn’t, it was Azriel.

Do I think if there weren’t the rules for the Rite that Cassian and Azriel would have went to save them? Of course they would have. But they weren’t meant to rescue them.

This was the big moment in all of the healing journeys for the Valkryie. For Emerie, becoming the first Illyrian women to win it. For Gwyn, leaving the library and becoming a true warrior. For Nesta, holding the line and protecting the people she loves like she hasn’t been able to before. THAT is the purpose of the Blood Rite. Not determining if there’s some couples involved. We already know the couple involved. It’s Nessian.

We seriously need to stop diminishing massive moments in the female characters journeys to ships.

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hey nalyra!

I was hoping you could sort of help put some thoughts in order.

So, what I keep seeing often is the discourse of lestat deserving the murder night vs lestat did not deserve it and that's why paris happens.

On one hand I agree murder night "needed" to happen bc the household had turned too toxic for all of them and something had to give ( and lestat did not seem about to relent on anything tbh ).

And then we have lestat himself saying he would have done the same thing and in a way its his fault things ended up the way they did. ( and we have sam saying lestat needs to be humbled to start a character journey in the next seasons)

On the other hand, there is the argument that paris happened because lestat did not deserve what happened in murder night and murder night was a mistake that claudia and louis paid for with the trial.

I find it hard to agree with the latter (it sounds too punitive and I don't think the trial had anything to do with actual rules it was all armand getting back at lestat and getting louis to himself) but as a lestat fan it was hard to watch murder night and say lestat deserved it as well!!

What are your thoughts on this whole mess? 🤔 😅

Okay, so... I personally think it is not that clear cut.

Because there are a lot of things involved in all of this.

For one - I keep saying - the abuse itself is in the book, so Louis did experience it as abuse, at least at times.

Now, Jacob has said that Louis "presents Lestat as a monster", because he is hurt by what happened. So Louis exaggerates (at the very least a little bit) - for reasons.

However, a tale is also always built on truth.

The Lestat in the book was very young still, and had a temper (well, he does not lose that, lol). Louis remarks on not saying something because he feared Lestat would destroy the parlor in a rage. They fight. And so on. Canon. The Lestat in the show is older, and jaded through loneliness - I personally think that is a great way to introduce the more bitter parts of the relationship, because it lends towards possessiveness and a certain remoteness, because he just sees it very, very differently to Louis, and sometimes cannot really empathize with Louis' actual problems. (Sam notes on that in the podcast, too.)

Now. When Lestat says in TVL that Claudia attacking him was "something he might have done himself"... then that refers to him trapping her in a too small, too fragile, too weak body - for eternity.

He knows he should not have made her. He is aware of that. That is what he refers to there:

From TVL:

But what had I done to Claudia? And when would I have to pay for that? How long was she content to be the mystery that bound Louis and me so tightly together, the muse of our moonlit hours, the one object of devotion common to us both? Was it inevitable that she who would never have a woman's form would strike out at the demon father who condemned her to the body of a little china doll? [...] And on a warm sultry night in the spring of the year 1860, she rose up to settle the score. She enticed me, she trapped me, and she plunged a knife over and over again into my drugged and poisoned body, until almost every drop of the vampiric blood gushed out of me before my wounds had the precious few seconds in which to heal. I don't blame her. It was the sort of thing I might have done myself. And those delirious moments will never be forgotten by me, never consigned to some unexplored compartment of the mind. It was her cunning and her will that laid me low as surely as the blade that slashed my throat and divided my heart. I will think on those moments every night for as long as I go on, and of the chasm that opened under me, the plunge into mortal death that was nearly mine. Claudia gave me that.

From Merrick:

Cover her face; mine eyes dazzle; she died young. I winced at the recollection. Lestat had been condemning himself when he'd spoken those words to her, he'd been offering himself up to her rage. She'd known it.

And here is the crux of it all: "murder night" does need to happen in the grand scheme of things in order to bring both Louis and Lestat onto their journey... they both need to get a reality check, both need to be hauled low so to speak to be able to ultimately heal and the justification is what was done to Claudia (not Louis). And to find peace with themselves.

However, and here is the "problem", if you will - this crime against nature, against Claudia was not only done by Lestat. And that is what her diary entry from "Merrick" is about, and what I believe we already saw hints for in the trial scene when she turns to Louis... Claudia blamed both. "It was never about me." And we saw that already in the show when Claudia argues with Louis before leaving in episode 5, too.

She decided to go and try to kill Lestat, because she thought she could handle Louis more easily.

From Merrick:

To do away with Louis would be foolish, as he is without question the more malleable of the pair. [...] Louis will do as I wish, even unto the very destruction of Lestat, which I plan in every detail. Whereas Lestat would never cooperate with my designs upon Louis. So there my loyalty lies, under the guise of love even in my own heart.

Now, don't get me wrong, I concur with Bailey and Delainey in that Claudia is very justified in her rage, imho :) And... both Lestat and Louis feel the same way, they carry the guilt of what they did to her until the very end.

Now, Paris.

Paris... did happen because Louis and (mostly) Claudia factoring things in) did make a mistake.

They thought (mostly Claudia, and the show hints at that in that episode 6 sex scene when she says to Louis that they "cannot be all like him") that Lestat was the worst.

Like the big bad vampire™, the worst of the worst™, and him (certainly) making mistakes or having a temper or even physically fighting with Louis was the absolute worst that could possibly happen to them.

And that... is the (big, fatal) mistake that is being made.

The show gave us Lestat already brushing Paris off, so I believe show Louis will be a bit more... careful when they get there. A bit more reluctant. Nonetheless, neither Claudia nor Louis are prepared for the old world covens. Or their rules.

Lestat kept them mostly human, a family, because Marius had advised him to do so.

Claudia and Louis, despite their run-ins with the revenants, have no concept of the rules, the viciousness, nor the strength to defend themselves.

They kill off their only protection (so to speak) - and will pay for it.

I believe in one of the interviews it was called "out of the frying pan and into the fire", and that is, unfortunately, very fitting.

That is why "murder night" was a mistake... in Claudia's calculation.

Louis will come to the realization that he "hated Lestat for the wrong reasons" in the second half of IWTV. He will come to a lot of realizations, painful realizations, unfortunately.

Ultimately, it boils down to this, I think (very simplified):

No, Lestat (probably) did not deserve "murder night" for what Louis tries to argue for in s1. Because those reasons will turn out to be the wrong reasons, unfortunately, and likely for a variety of reasons (cue "tinkering" and "suppressed memories")

Yes, Lestat (probably) deserved "murder night" for not heeding Marius' warning. For not trying hard enough, too, maybe. For condemning someone that young. For trapping Claudia (and, by extension Louis) like that.

"I should have listened to Marius's warning. I should have stopped for one moment to reflect on it as I stood on the edge of that grand and intoxicating experiment: to make a vampire of "the least of these. " I should have taken a deep breath."

But he did not.

And the tragedy unfolds.

[citrusrick]

s7e5 Unmortricken (HUGE SPOILERS)

HOLY. SHIT. i did not expect this at all and was so fucking excited!! we've all been waiting for this for a looong time, both the rick prime and the evil morty returns! and they gave it to us in one episode!

there is soooo much to unpack in this episode, but i'm dumping all my initial thoughts into this post. i feel like every scene during this episode my mind was turning so fast. this episode broke me and healed me, idek. i just need to take a minute and stare at the wall in silence for a while. my brain is just a mantra of god i fucking love this show so fucking much.

evil morty not only being smarter than c137, but prime is so fucking cool. definitely hoping we see more of him in the future, especially with how he downloaded the schematics of prime's brain. his plotline is definitely not completely finished. (especially 'the rick project'? very interested in that tbh)

needless to say, c137 and prime's (and evil morty's) fight was fucking awesome and well-done. especially the very last when rick gets to just beat him to death, thanks to evil morty. also, we see a rick’s ego get him once again with the mindset of ‘a morty could never outsmart/get me’, and boom.

i loved how it ended simply like that, no gadgets, just punching the shit out of him until he dies while prime keeps saying things he thinks will cut deep. prime telling c137 that nothing he has now actually belongs to him, AGH! no words. just thinking about how hard that must've been for rick to assimilate into the family, so fucking painful.

learning that prime not only killed rick c137's diane, but ALL dianes across all the infinite realities makes a lot of things come together and make sense. basically, prime threw a massive fit over some rick's not wanting to drop everything to join him in his universe-hopping. also prime giving rick shit for his car sounding like diane when he literally modeled his kill bots after her is so fucking ironic lmao

rick prime saying he missed when he was just him and rick, the only two to actually invent portal travel, really interested me. so this means that both prime and c137 are the 'rickest rick'. also c137's diane was not killed with the omega machine, as we saw her and little beth killed with a bomb.

when i first saw that poster with rick and morty covered in 'spaghetti sauce' while morty hugs rick, i knew it was gonna end up being in an episode with blood all over them and i was half-right, since rick's the only one covered in blood when morty hugs him in this episode lol

another little thing i noticed, they very prominently showed us prime and c137's cybernetic wiring tangling together in a shot during the fight. is this something that'll be relevant later or just like a random shot?

i think it's possible rick prime isn't dead, maybe left alive by c137 for some reason we don't know yet. we don't necessarily see prime die only c137 come out covered in blood and imply that prime's gone. (i noticed tear tracks on in the blood on rick's face and thought i was tripping at first but he was crying, shattering my heart over here).

if it was truly that simple and rick prime is truly gone forever, rick now has to move on with the rest of his life and figure out who he is without this need for revenge driving him. i'm so nervous to see what happens after this. it'll either free him or destroy him.

p.s. that post credit scene, which was (in my opinion) showing us what would've happened with rick and birdperson if things were different between them. just a little thing i thought of, and i'm not even a huge birdperson/rick shipper.

p.s.s. and even if it's not about rick/birdperson specifically, it still means rick could've chosen a different path if he'd been able to let go of his need to kill rick prime and get revenge.

[v-67]

Finally watched part two of the Thousand year blood war arc : The separation

I'd been procrastinating w it because I wanted to watch it after it was fully released, the part two, but then I waited too long and yeah, i waited too long

And I finally watched it today

I had to watch the part one again because I didn't wanna play the guessing game about what's happening/etc, So I watched the whole thing again :3

....

The separation really separated us from Ichigo in this arc, didn't really get to see much of him.

But the battles, the soundtrack, the techniques, THE STORY, THE CONNECTION, THE ANIMATION, IT'S SO GOOOOD.

The mystery deepens about the connection between Yhwach and the soul King's relation.

Also the fight between the Squad zero and Yhwach and his sternritters, and Uryu (don't wanna count him w them tbh), THE FIGHT IS SO CRAZY GOOD🥹🥹🥹

Idk what Uryu is thinking but I sense a lot of plot twists in the future.

I swear I love watching Bleach. I can't wait for the next season to be released. And when it starts releasing, I'll have to wait again because I don't wanna watch episodes weekly(breaks down the rush I feel slightly)🥲

But seriously. The way it takes us on this unpredictable journey, it's crazy good.

The powers, the techniques, the portrayal of those techniques. Everything is so beautifully accurate, and so perfectly portrayed. LOVE it.

Also the BANKAI and the additional zones to them are 🤌🤌🤌🤌

Also also, I'm not okay with something happening to Hitsugaya🥲, Matsumoto, the musician guy (V cool Bankai), and Muguruma, I hope Kurotsuchi somehow heals them because in no way I'm ready for them to die.

Also it was so nice to see Urahara and Yoruichi🥹❤️ (I mean I know Urahara is there in every arc, and is a very crucial character, but it's just, I'm watching it after so long and it's so nice to see all of them, plus I didn't see Yoruichi throughout and she finally comes in the later episodes) and also Ukitake (I'm confused about the eye thing though, i don't remember that) (no one tell me, I'll figure out)

Also special mention to : Byakuya (loved the way he interacts with Rukia in the latest arc, love his Bankai), Rukia (she's so beautiful in that Bankai but that Bankai is dangerous fr), Renji (NICE, also when he gets complimented by that Sternritter about his pointy eyebrows and that he might have good taste, funny lol), Madarame, Ayasegawa (he got called fugly by that guy he killed in the ig and how he loses his temper again😭😭), Hirako (HIS BANKAI SO COOL, Ep 3), Kyoraku (I missed him), Zaraki( AHHHH I LOVE THIS GUY, his fight with the imagination guy was sooooo Cool), Akon (doing god's work in the tough times lol), Hisagi (the 69 guy, why they portray him so weak idk), Sajin(felt bad for him fr, but the Bankai was noiceeeee), Kon (for giving us those random snippets in the end, where they had to get undressed and Rukia can't help but get worried about Byakuya having to go through the same embarassment, cute lol, you know this means that Ichigo went through that too)

Also side note but I really like Nimaiya. He's so cool and unhinged and random. Is nice.

The only question I have honestly is why'd they dress up Orihime like this, like, it's just, weird. No hate, but what is this😭😭😭

Also, snippets of Ichigo because I've missed him soooooo much.

Ichigo blushing🤌☀️

[browniefox]

ooo i used to be really big into classpecting in my homestuck days. off the top of my head, id say cloud: maid of void, tifa: mage of blood, barret: seer of doom, aerith: heir of hope, yuffie: thief of time, red: knight of breath, zack: knight of void, and seph: witch of light!! (unfortunatley i dont have a super great hold on cid/vincent/reeve as characters soi dont have a really clear idea for them). happy 4/13!!

Whoa! Thanks! Hope you don't mind me digging right into these.

Cloud: Maid of Void, I can definitely see this as someone filled with nothing or battling with the sense of nothing inside of him. I actually could also see him being a Prince of Blood or something along those lines, a double-edged sword where he starts out destroying his relations with other people, but then being able to use his bonds with others more as a 'power of friendship' style weapon. Also possibly Doom, intially dooming himself but ultimately utilizing it to doom and destroy Sephroth...?

Tifa: Mage of Blood. I love this as Tifa being away of her connections to others and trying to utilize those connections, be the glue that's keeping people together, and especially utilizing that to keep Cloud together. I could also see her being a Maid of Life, especially in regards to how she ultimately is the one who heals Cloud's mind.

Barret: Seer of Doom is such an interesting choice! Like, how he can see the state of the world, which makes it all the more interesting how much he strives to change things. Another could be Knight of Hope, by the way he's sort of the face of the AVALANCHE, which is hope, and how he can provide that hope and drive to others.

Aerith: Heir of Hope, super goes with Aerith and just totally embodying hope for the team, and then how that hope takes a hit with her death. I'd suggest also Heir of Time, with the connection of death and fate really matching her, especially in regards to Rebirth.

Yuffie: Theif of Time. The girl is born to be a theif lol, though giving her such a death-connected aspect is super interesting. I could maybe see Theif of Mind or Space better? Yuffie's a hard one to match up tbh. Mind because it has to do with karma and intelligence, and I think it'd combine interestingly with how Yuffie is often underestimated, as well as the retribution she's seeking for Wutai. And then Space because she strikes me as creative I guess haha (and let's be real, I am a little bit trying to get both Time and Space into here).

Nanaki: Knight of Breath. Fuck yeah give the one who was trapped the freedom aspect. No notes, I love this.

Zack: Knight of Void. I like how this connects him to Cloud, but I'm not sure how I like it for Zack. To me, he hits me more as a Page of Light or something that actually reached his full potential, with Light and fortune kinda going well with the DMW and then how it fails him in the end.

Sephiroth: Witch of Light. Super interesting take! Controlling fate! I think you could also easily make him a Witch of Doom, which is also kind of fate-inclined, but if I recall correclty Doom is often more towards oneself. Still either way I could see it.

Cid: I don't know him super well either, but I could see him being Hope or Blood considering he becomes the leader after Cloud is gone and kind of needs to rally the troops. Maybe a Rogue, being able to take those aspects and share them around to the group?

Vincent: Considering his whole deal with the various beasts inside of him, I'd be tempted to say Heir or Prince of Rage. But then, considering he's still alive despite everything he's been through, i could also see him being a Life player.

Reeve: Easy, Mage of Heart, aware of his power of splintering himself and utilizing that with Cait Sith. Also possibly adding to how he's at the 'heart' of a lot of the problems aka within Shinra Tower.

If anyone has any other thoughts on the matter, would love to hear them!

[thatonespriteobsessedbitch]

TBB S3 Episodes 4+5 thoughts

ngl I had a good bit spoiled for me bc I forgot to block the spoilers tag 🤦🏻‍♀️

A Different Approach

genuinely so happy that my man is back

his voice is a little weird tho ngl

yk when the ship is sparking like that on the inside, I don't think you should be flying it

I love batcher so much

they are 100% going to be going back for the other prisoners by the end of the season, I'm calling it

not sure if I feel bad for Nala se or not

fuck hemlock fr

yeah what's up with Omega's blood sample

creepy ass city

crosshair is seriously wondering what he's gotten himself into lmaoooo

his voice is back to normal thank god lol

so fucking funny watching this 10yo try and barter with the spaceport person

FIFTEEN THOUSAND?!?!?!

PER TICKET?!?!

omg crosshair is hilarious, he's missed all of Omega's normal hijinks and he's so fucking confused

is that Bossk???

def not bossk

not the troopers

oh fuck

crosshair is freaking out back there

crosshair called Meg's dad count: 1

this captain has me stressing

fuck you

love that crosshair was about to fight a man for her

fuck not batcher

oh just punch the kid already

dad crosshair is so hot oml

babes freeing all the animals will get you caught so fast

just shoot the captain already

that "finally" did things to me 😶‍🌫️

oh omega you badass

IS THAT A FUCKING SARLACC????

I mean that's one way to deal with the captain but damn

where are they???

WRECKER!!!!!

and hunter.

I really don't like hunter tbh

"never stopped searching" but you were so willing to leave crosshair

ugh the camera angles 😫

The Return

she has Lula!!!

omg pabu is so pretty

genuinely why does crosshair, a clone of a man played by a Māori actor, whiter than I am

OH SHUT THE FUCK UP HUNTER HE HAS TRAUMA, HES HEALING, LEAVE HIM THE FUCK ALONE

ECHO!!!

omg AZI you don't tell him his accuracy was 53% 🤣🤣🤣

does crosshair know tech is gone??

nvm he's gotta know with that reaction after echo mentions him

all of them look so pretty in the sunset

wrecker gave him his armour back 😭😭😭

HE BROUGHT THEM TO THE OUTPOST?!?!

the sound I made at crosshair in his old armour is ungodly

lay off him hunter

did batcher just find maydays body???

batchers efficient I'll give her that

not the helmets 😭😭😭😭

watch as those sensors actually did something other than warn about the raiders

I actually hate hunter

call him out babe

WHAT THE JESUS CHRIST WAS THAT

echo is eldest daughter-ing rn

BATCHER NO STAY INSIDE

can't believe the sensors actually worked

"and I don't even see any blood this time!" true sibling behavior

also the look on Omega's face as he says that 🤣🤣

I love the ice vulture symbolism with crosshair so much

[reitheist]

bucchigiri ep 12 lb thoughts:

wow, tbh I was not expecting to get more backstory on ara this late, but it's appreciated

aww ara thought matakara was cool

i'm still unsure what exactly a honki person is to be completely honest

komao is the best nurse thanks buddy

bucchigiri pleaseeeeee let mahoro do anything please im begging

ahaha the cat gag is finally revealed

also he just fucking stole jasmine right out of there lmaooo

okay so... mahoro uses a man to wake her brother up... sweetie I'm sorry but your brother only cares about men and fighting. it's time to give up

the siguma goons dressed in nurse outfits I'm cackling

yet again love is used as a metaphor for fighting and here it's applied to arajin and matakara hm

ahaaaaa as I predicted his wish changed. specifically to wanting matakara to wake up, no less

so like, is ichiya's issue with senya similar to matakara's issue with arajin? in that he wasn't as strong as he wanted him to be

is it inappropriate to say senya is lucky and I would like ichiya to beat me up as well

oh damn ichiya was sick and wanted to be killed by senya. senya looked up to ichiya and didn't want to do that.

komao carrying zabu aww

so now that ichiya is controlling matakara's body, matakara is stuck with his darkness. notably, the best friend stone lies in there, broken. he sits in the corner of his laundromat room, the place he's had to stay since his brother went to juvie

ofc these two muscled bitches can only make up by fighting

divorced dad senya got his wife back by being real for once

the only thing stronger than ichiya's pettiness--matakara's lack of self worth

ope well the only thing stronger than matakara's lack of self worth is ara's delusional love for mahoro ig

wow his wish change did not last for long lol

ohhh matakara shoving ara away, he believes everyone from his past makes him weaker "I don't need my friends, or my brother, or even you!"

matakara is deathly afraid of being left alone. it happened with ara, it happened with his brother, so now he wants to sever all his relationships so he can't be hurt again

literally shoving the love of friendship into matakara's face so he can't reject it, healing the inner child so afraid of loneliness

matakara finally having his investment in ara acknowledged and reciprocated

senya's unfinished business is done, he can ascend to heaven with his boyfie

i KNEW that stamp was gonna be for matakara. also stamping it in blood hell yeah

matakara I love youuuu

ahh a very sk8-type ending montage

MATAKARA YOUR BESTIES LOVE YOU

i'm at least glad mahoro is still ignoring the fact ara exists

did shindo wear fake boobs and heels just to sneak back into NG 💀 he's fulfilling his true calling in life: to be the drama member of an idol group

lmaooo catboy doing his best sales

ara and matakara making gyoza again 😭

matakara's brother is alive phew

lmaoooo the ending

well, I guess the ending would keep it open for a potential S2, if that were to ever happen. good episode with excellent animation, even though it didn't quite fulfill all of my desires for this show. would've liked mahoro to have a more active role in all this. this show also felt a bit limited by runtime and writing at times, but overall it was a pretty enjoyable experience with charming characters (who I would've liked to learn more about, tbh). matakara and ara's fight was amazing. I wanted more ichiya and senya than we got but I'm glad they resolved their issues too. I'm kinda curious as to what happened with ichiya after the fight. is he also in the bullet with senya, did he pass on, or is he in his own bullet? if it's the first option, I need a spinoff of their stupid domestic lives inside their separate spirit world

[ca-suffit]

I feel as uncomfortable defending Armand as I do defending Lestat, I hate the abusers off fandom is having, where only the abusers matter and not Louis or Claudia.

It gives me hope seeing you being optimistic about the future of the show, I want to trust Hannah and Rolin, I know there is comedy in the show but I hope it doesn’t turn into silly writing like the books did, I hope they will make the adaptation as good as s1&2, Sam saying this is an adaptation not Anne’s Lestat is also positive lol,fingers crossed.

Finally I never perceived Lesmand as romantic in the books, am I crazy? I mean, Lestat wants to fuck everybody all the time, and he feels everything is LOVE, from the nun to Amel lmao, I doubt the show could depict every creature Lestat lusts after in the books, is someone new every 10 pages lol

abusers off lmao 💀

I think it's interesting to explore all the characters and not reduce them to simple labels but this fandom....mostly isn't doing that tho. it's a lot of focus on finding reasons to excuse shit instead of accept that it was real but still explore what pain motivated it. u can talk about so much without excusing it but that's all most ppl want to do. or...u know, be racist about it. and ya black ppl are never allowed to be victims of anything, always gotta find a reason to say that's not real or important. pfft.

from what I know of AMC shows, they're not going to tone shift like the books do. I mean 2x3 was silly and did that change anything? shit, look how many ppl even took that deadly serious to begin with omfg. lestat's humor is v dark and sarcastic. I expect a little lighter tone for the music angle, maybe even a musical telling of things at times, but not suddenly a full shift into "what show is this??"

lesmand passed by me entirely when I read stuff tbh. I hate book armand a LOT. I had to go back and reread parts to see what everyone was talking about when it started to get mentioned more. there's definitely sections where lestat is speaking about armand in ways that do show he's drawn to him, but...it's not something everyone is gonna pick up on. like I said, I didn't. idk if I'd still say it's "romantic" but it's...something more than I saw first.

I was rereading the end of TVL the other day, let me pull a quote to show an example of lestat's perspective (this is from when he's in that shack at the end we just saw in S2, for context)

And then I was moving up in the darkness, and Armand and I stood together on the high roof. Radiant he was, in the same old-fashioned evening clothes, and we were looking over the jungle of dark singing treetops at the distant silver curve of the river and the low heavens where the stars burned through the pearl gray clouds.

I was weeping at the sheer sight of it, at the feel of the damp wind against my face. And Armand stood beside me, with his arm around me. And he was talking of forgiveness and sadness, of wisdom and things learned through pain. "I love you, my dark brother," he whispered. And the words moved through me like blood itself.

"It wasn't that I wanted vengeance," he whispered. His face was stricken, his heart broken. He said. "But you came to be healed, and you did not want me! A century I had waited, and you did not want me!"

And I knew, as I had all along really, that my restoration was illusion, that I was the same skeleton in rags, of course. And the house was still a ruin. And in the preternatural being who held me was the power that could give me back the sky and the wind.

"Love me and the blood is yours," he said. "This blood that I have never given to another." I felt his lips against my face.

"I can't deceive you," I answered. "I can't love you. What are you to me that I should love you? A dead thing that hungers for the power and the passion of others? The embodiment of thirst itself?"

And in a moment of incalculable power, it was I who struck him and knocked him backwards and off the roof. Absolutely weightless he was, his figure dissolving into the gray night.

But who was defeated? Who fell down and down again through the soft tree branches to the earth where he belonged? Back to the rags and filth beneath the old house. Who lay finally in the rubble, with hands and face against the cool soil? Yet memory plays its tricks. Maybe I imagined it, his last invitation, and the anguish after. The weeping. I do know that as the months passed he was out there again. I heard him from time to time just walking those old Garden District streets. And I wanted to call to him, to tell him that it was a lie I'd spoken to him, that I did love him. I did.

[sketching-shark]

For the ship opinion bingo, how about... Wukong and Bajie?

Haha! The return of the zhuhou asks <3

I'll be honest @ladyzerodark between my preference for aroace SWK & seeing how MEAN these two often were to each other throughout the course of the journey, I didn't particularly care for zhuhou. But after seeing a lot of the CEO of zhuhou @antidotefortheawkward's thoughts and art about that pairing I gained a fondness for it as far as jttw-adjacent ships go, especially as with niuhou (Demon Bull King x Sun Wukong) both Zhu Bajie and the Monkey King work very well as distinct characters in their own right. And while they frequently are cruel to each other near the beginning of the journey, this is something that from what I remember mellows out more into fond teasing and a very strong fighting rapport as the journey goes on. tbh I'm not even surprised that a number of retellings present them as akin to a bickering couple raising a child together lol.

But I guess more importantly for me, one reason why I've come to think that zhuhou can potentially work quite well as a enemies-to-lovers/battle couple kind of situation is that Xiyouji itself does a lot to show us how that could happen. For starters, this is an over 400 year old narrative that (and while this definitely wasn't Wu Cheng'en's intent haha) stands out for steering clear from the bullshit of "all-forgiving innocent and the genocidal dictator they have to bend over backwards to Heal(TM) because he's Sad." I mean, between Zhu Bajie having been an extremely high-ranking heavenly soldier as the Marshal of the Heavenly Reeds who sexually harassed Chang'e and then ate his new pig family after being exiled to Earth before proceeding to eat who knows how many other humans, and Sun Wukong spending decades reigning as a warlord over a vast multitude of yaoguai and spending that time not caring about anyone except for his monkey family and freely murdering and stealing at will, they're both not exactly what you could call stellar citizens. As I've said:

And funnily enough that's the main thing that ultimately has made the appeal of zhuhou both understandable and even likeable for me: where in a sea of supposedly wholesome "enemies to lovers" that give -1000 reason for why the involved blorblos would even tolerate each other and "redemption arcs" that point blank refuse to say the fucked up things the characters did were in fact fucked up, both Zhu Bajie and Sun Wukong stand as guys that the story is very clear about how violent and destructive they were and why they both really needed a redemption arc. Zhu Bajie talks about how much he loves eating people, women especially, and then later kidnaps a young woman he married under false pretext! Sun Wukong freely admits that he killed more people that he can remember and is routinely smashing people's heads into meat patties! Said it before but it in fact makes perfect sense that with disciples like Old Hog Violent Pervert and Yeye War Crimes, Tang Sanzang is constantly crying!

BUT AT THE SAME TIME, Xiyouji does a lot to both show the more positive sides of their characters such as a sincere love of family and a willingness to work hard, with the both of them increasingly working together to help each other and tons of people over the course of the journey. And this genuine help takes the form of everything from fighting together to end the blood-soaked reigns of vicious man-eating yaoguai warlords to saving over a thousand children at one go to acting as intermediaries between heaven and Earth so that a terrible drought can be lifted from a suffering region. These are just a few examples of the good they help create too, and all the while you do have scenes of them laughing and joking together and sometimes even holding hands. I'd be willing to bet that a major reason Journey to the West is one of the great classics of world literature is because it is a redemption narrative that really stresses the need to consistent and persistently do active good for a redemption to be genuine, and seeing both Sun Wukong and Zhu Bajie go on that journey together is a very fun thing to behold.

tl:dr, very cool to witness the tale of two very fucked up but ultimately willing to change yaoguai going on a journey of atonement, hand in hand. Kings of learning and listening and experiencing explicitly horrific consequences for their actions <3.

[alistairlowes]

Some books to show comparison because I apparently have nothing better to do on a free Sunday and since this is awakening interest in the books I’m gonna give you all some warnings :)

- The book are a lot darker, especially the first one when it comes the abuse Nathan experienced.

- There is no “fairborn” and “blood” witches. Fairborn was the name of the knife Nathan’s father gave to him. In the book they are called black and white witches with white witches being “good” and running most of things and black witches being “bad” and having to hide. Yes, it’s supposed to be racism metaphor. The whole point is that white witches are hypocritical and terrible. For some reason Netflix decided to get rid of those more ~political~ elements which is why I see people wonder why some scenes come of as racist. It’s because they are supposed to, but it does send the whole different message when you take away the main plot aspect from the story.

- Celia is not a good character at all. She puts Nathan in the cage right away. He spent years in a cage and she abused him and treated him like an animal. She never dies in the books which she should have. Nathan hated her.

- Nathan had two more step siblings which aren’t in the show. Unlike Jessica, they liked him and helped him. Jessica was bad, but she wasn’t the “main villain”.

- The scene where Nathan gets stabbed in the show is much worse in the books. It happens when he is younger and they don’t stab him, they use a knife to carve “BW” into his back which leaves him with permanent scar.

- He is also forcibly tattooed by white witches to be marked as half white half black witch.

- They changed powers of all characters.

- Annalise is a lot less present in the books. She pretty much serves as a LI for Nathan and other than that she has very little agency as a character. She is comatosed for most of the story lol.

- Gabriel also has completely different personality and appearance. Nathan meets him at the end of the first book and lives with him for a while. Gabriel is “mortal” when he meets him because he fucked up his powers and turned himself into a regular human and there is an arc in the books where they try to restore his powers. Also tbh, he is quite toxic and lowkey misogynistic. He likes Nathan and therefore he hates Annalise. Can’t stand her, won’t look at her which is why the show version is well… better… but also funny. He also has a different backstory and he has reason to hate white witches.

- The show might do poly relationship but if you expect it from the books… run.

- That cult(??) that was killing white witches and eating their hearts? None of that happens. In the book they go find Mercury and vibe with her for a while. She isn’t evil EVIL, she mostly works for her own interest. She never helps Jessica.

- A lot of characters were left out.

[spoilery area for things not yet shown in show!! not that they are following it anyway]

- Soul O'Brien was basically turned into Marcus in the show. Marcus was the one eating hearts and collecting powers so later [spoilers] when Nathan eats his heart, he inherits all of his powers turning him into the most powerful witch. They still mentioned Nathan is supposed to be the one to kill Marcus but I don’t really see why now.

- Annalise never kills her dad. She kills Marcus which makes Nathan hate her and want to kill her. She only did it because Marcus killed her brother in front of her. Bdw Marcus dies in a very stupid way considering he is supposed to be most the powerful witch.

- Nathan does get his finger cut off but it was not in the context the show did it. Lots of deus ex machina in the books.

- There are exactly three queer characters in the books. They all die.

- Gabriel gets shot multiple times and can’t heal so he dies. That makes Nathan very angry and he spends some time killing white witches only to decide to unalive himself by turning into a tree on Gabriel’s grave because he realized he can’t live without him. But not before he meets up with Annalise who gets her happy ending BUT!! she also ends up having Nathan’s child so the half blood line continues or some other shit like that idk.

[fumifooms]

Things that give me hope for an Asaden & the eventual Chainsaw man identity reveal:

- When she’s stricken with fear and panic, Yoru can’t possess her. The shock and horror upon finding out Denji is Chainsaw Man once she’s attached to him will mean that Yoru won’t be able to immediately come out and attack him where he stands so Asa has a chance to prevent something from happening.

- You don’t necessarily have to kill someone to make them into a weapon. The strength of a weapon mostly resides in the guilt it takes to make them, and we’ve seen Yoru make weapons out of limbs or certain body parts, like Yoru’s severed leg. Asa could try to cut off Denji’s finger to make it a weapon!! Or his blood, that would make for a cool concept! How desperate I have to be to list this as a positive lol but yes this is Chainsaw Man and it is ruthless Alternatively, someone also suggested that being part devil, making Denji a weapon wouldn’t work the same as making a weapon out of a human or animal, which maybe would mean he survives or heals back, who knows!

- Asa has resolved to live more selfishly, and that means seeking her own happiness regardless of circumstances. She’ll find a way to have everything go her way instead of having to choose between Denji and her life out of sheer selfish determination. It’s worked out well so far with Yuko and life-threatening situations tbh.

- Nayuta. Knowing that killing Denji would mean leaving Nayuta alone, I can’t see Asa being able to muster up killing Denji. That would make her no better than the devil who murdered her own family. Plus, knowing that Nayuta is Yoru’s sister, being the control devil and all, that could definitely be a factor for Yoru giving up on killing Chainsaw Man. Nayuta is going to be key

[simbic]

...yeah once I got too deep in I just kinda forgot about the sims lol

Im going to write a very strongly worded letter to FromSoftware about Malenia

and Mohg.

Because FUCK MOHG

Out of the two of them, he was hands down the fucking WORST, but at least when I get shadow of the erdtree he'll already be out of the fuckin WAY

Stuff below, skip if you don't care lol:

To get through Malenia:

Lightest armor I had plus a talisman to increase equip load

Talismans: crits, greater attack power at low health, incantation potency

Reduvia

Golden Order Seal

White Mask

Swarm of Flies

Golden Vow

Lord's Heal

Black Knife Assassin Tiche's ashes (upgraded obvs)

Tiche IS KEY because Malenia STEALS HEALTH WHEN SHE HITS YOU (ffs), and she hits you a LOT if you can't roll away fast enough.

The skill on Tiche's blade is Blade of Death. It reduces base health by a percentage, and then does continuous damage over time, so this helps counteract the health steal. This, plus hemorrhage added up a LOT so once I landed on that combination, I then had to figure out how to deal with that god awful attack Malenia does.

The Waterfowl Dance made me so Goddamn angry, but once I could light roll, I could dodge that attack and take zero damage. When she's poised in the air preparing to perform that attack, be ready to roll back four times and the first two flurries will miss you. Roll forward and then away and the last flurry will also miss you. Dodging her regular attacks was pretty straight forward.

I also went with Reduvia because one of my friends suggested it for Mohg, and I don't do well with close combat (it's not my preferred style tbh). I have the rivers of blood katana and Eleonora's pole blade, but they didn't hit right for me. Reduvia throws out a blood arc and it was pretty effective.

Honestly, a lot of my deaths happened because I took my eyes off Malenia for like half a second. She's fast, you have to time everything, though Tiche admittedly throws off Malenia's patterns, so she might only perform the Waterfowl Dance once, or it gets interrupted.

it's just so much trial and error to get through some of these bosses oh my God. Maybe this will help someone who is stuck on either of these bosses.

As for Mohg, it was the worst, but

Banished Knight Engvall

Mohg's Shackles

Reduvia

Swarm of Flies

White Mask

Hoslow's Armor

Golden Vow

Erdtree Blessing

Lord's Heal

Purifying Crystal Tear in a mixed physick

Probably not everything, I may have had stars of ruin also, but i can't remember. Someone told me to just roll with bleed for Mohg, and i'm like, that makes NO SENSE, so I go to the wiki and wtf, he's weak to bleed damage. Like wtf, you're the LoRd Of BlOoD

do better

After that things admittedly were a bit easier. The purifying crystal tear basically neuters Mohg's three ring curse bs. He'll still perform it, and he'll still gain health, but you won't take any damage from it. If you don't have the tear, drink a flask between the second and third nihil, though it's just easier to have the tear.

Mohg's Shackles pins him down briefly so you can wail on him, but it doesn't work in the second phase. Which...HE FLIES IN THE SECOND PHASE. WOULDN'T THAT MAKE MORE--

you know what, nevermind. God, FromSoft. ugh

Golden Vow for damage and defense buff, Swarm of Flies for bleed, Reduvia for bleed. Banished Knight Engvall because he's tanky, does standard tank damage, and he can stay alive for the entire battle.

I'm finding the Mimic Tear to be a bit overrated. It was perfect in like selia where I was having issues with the vanishing sorcerers, but I've found in boss battles, they focus the Mimic Tear too much and it dies too quickly.

Frustrating as this game is, I am actually enjoying it a lot. This is my first souls like, and the trial and error, figuring out patterns and timing etc is always weirdly rewarding for me. I also really like piecing together the lore through the item descriptions and youtube etc, it gives a lot of depth to the game and I like having an explanation for why I'm doing the seemingly random thing I'm doing.

That said, I get hyper fixated on one thing when my mental health is fighting with me, and tbh it could be worse

Anyway i'm done ranting, because frankly, every time I think I've seen the worst thing in Elden Ring, it proves me wrong

[nalyra-dreaming]

Rewatch thoughts episode 3

The bench really carries decades old couple energy ;))

I desire not as much as you do in combination with the expectation of Antoinette burning later… Lestat fooling around probably never felt too threatening while everything was going well.

Edit: Thx to @lynnenne , I misheard: It’s actually I desire blood as much as you do… that voids the above completely, but gives an interesting aspect to his hunger phase indeed. And the control!

The Angel of Starvation. Criminal Biscuit. Drama Queen. (Edit 2: I know the transcript says "Angel of Salvation" here, but that I definitely hear differently, and tbh that one doesn't quite make sense to me, because Lestat is griping at Louis passing over victims he points out. But that just as a note.)

The pride in Louis‘ voice when he says that Antoinette had heard about the Azalea in Atlanta… and Lestat’s eyes following her right after Louis‘ said he didn’t want to kill anymore.

I always forget about the other businesses down Clayborne.

I am kinda sad they didn’t use Lestat had surrounded me in episode 1, just on the tape. Such a potent statement.

That respect for the choice Louis‘ had made was 90% annoyance I bet, tying in to what he says in episode 6, that he can feel Louis judgement.

If only Louis would have joined in that proposed threesome. Damn.

Sam got Lestat’s laughter down uncomfortably well.

The of course is still hilarious/ingenious.

I still stumble over sanctioned infidelity. Because that is not something I would‘ve taken away from that, lol.

It still is so weird Louis didn’t just fire her. I mean he had employed her. Never mind killing her, but I would’ve reacted allergic to her voice?!

And Louis always winning kinda implies he knows the trick to stop the time now… 😈

That no ring on your finger comment hits harder when you remember the emerald ring later… (books)

That kiss is really hot.

Louis‘ wounds are still healing when he’s back. Lestat probably didn’t need to see it, he smelled it. Also Louis coming right out with it….. GODDAMMIT TALK WITH EACH OTHER 😤 😫

Kill the Hans. God that whole scene is so …. brilliant. Every time. The emotions, the execution, the powers, the makeup. Just…

Also, quite a while ago someone mentioned that this is how Lestat and Louis fight prior to Claudia… prior to a real chance of Louis leaving. Quite equal shouting match. It’s really interesting.

The hobby remark and that whole scene. Ouch.

That sign while Lestat was still in there sure is something, Louis. The hubris on display…. have I mentioned how I love how this show plays with words.

The way Lestat drops the newspaper. Lmao.

Also Louis really knows where to hit with words, too. Oof.

I guess we all know that need to do something when we cannot… I can understand him there sooooo well. But still, choosing to bring her to Lestat for him to turn her… is quite the statement/decision, too. Gosh Louis 😅

[jeglly-bean]

could i ask a bit more about the jade & prospit designations for maruki? i'd found purple & derse to be very telling but i haven't looked at the lists in a while shdjfkgky

minus the 2 points about "dryly macabre" fatalism and "will say out loud what everyone else was thinking" (he tends to hide what he thinks), i say every other sentence really, REALLY with what maruki is like (shibusawa even calling him the most stubborn man in the world).

he's deeply workaholic, will NOT stray from the path he has in mind, and only opened up to why he was really doing all of this to joker in rank 9 (slow to trust). deep down he knew his dream was out of reach but still tried anyways..... not to mention we had like 5 separate bossfight phases around 1) his mind being very difficult to change, and 2) trouble admitting he's mistaken and upset. "strictly monogamous & fiercely devoted" is a given, thinking about anybody besides rumi is impossible for him

(also i wanted to give screenshots as evidence for all these points, but the post would be horrendously long lmao). and of course the derse one is also debatable, but "so much of their identity is built on control" feels like a deadringer idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"rebellion is in their blood" might seem a lil weird at first glance considering he's closer to *imposing* some kinda dictatorship over toppling one, but it just reminds me how from his POV he's "rebelling" against the cruelties deemed acceptable by society (enough to manifest a rebellion outfit like the rest of the PT in the metaverse)

"constantly look towards the future & analyze the past" is also very prevalent with his lofty plans for utopia and his treasure literally being the newspaper of rumi's parents dying (he cannot get over the past, it infests his every thought). throughout his confidant it's incredible how often his insecurities are quickly covered up with self-deprecation, tangents about work, etc. (again, so many screenshots but they aren't worth the length lol)

and of course the "one true path he sees" amongst all the wrong ones is the path he tries to impose on everyone else! at the end of the day hope is 10/10 his aspect i gotta agree tho, absolute bang-on. and since i'm frankly horrendous at designating classes i think whatever u said about sylph probably works??? he's definitely likely to botch up whatever healing he tries to do tho, so rip him i guess lmao

~~~

I totally see where you're coming from tbh. Personally, it didn't feel right making any of the thieves any higher on the hemospectrum than Haru being an indigo, as being a highblood comes with a certain degree of social power, even if the system still oppresses them in some way. While I still believe Maruki is jade, him being purple makes an equal amount of sense given your explanation. You could even go further by stating his minor rewriting of cognitions early on could be a form of reverse chucklevoodoos. The more I think about it, the more purple maruki seems like a reverse dirk strider to me, which is as horrifying as it is hilarious. It could really go either way, but if I were to write a session, I'd still probably keep maruki as a middle-of-the road jadeblood.