#give me poor coping skills | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

snippychicke · 8 months ago

Text

Poppy Seeds --Part Two

Inspired by TooManyPsuedonyms work, which in turn was inspired by @semisolidmind fanart/cabin!Au for Playtime Poppy.

Dogday/Player!reader (attempting keeping it gender neutral)

Warnings: will touch on the after effects of trauma, but nothing is super explicit. Maybe some unhealthy coping skills (Dogday holding Reader on a pedestal) But otherwise we're giving everyone a happy ending. (Everything is wonderful and nothing hurts)

@twistedcece wanted tagged, anyone else?

Four: Water

It did end up raining later that afternoon. You had found Ollie a fresh change of clothes and had been showing the four around the farm. Thankfully, the day was warm enough that the cold droplets weren’t going to chill anyone too much, though Ollie squeaked as soon as the first droplet hit him.

It was just a light spring shower, but it was still tricky to convince Ollie to come out from the chicken coop he had taken shelter in. It wasn’t until you decided to join the others that he slowly peeked out, sunken eyes wide.

Kissy was twirling in the middle of the drive, her arms spread wide and her smile bright as ever. Poppy had her own arms outstretched, her face tilted up against the tickling drops and a smile on her eternally-painted lips. Dogday was brightly laughing as he pulled you out from the sheltered area to where several puddles were quickly forming.

Seeing you and Dogday stomping in the water looked far too fun for the boy to ignore, and soon he was brave enough to leave his place of safety (to the relief of the hens not used to the small child in their home). IT took him a moment to get used to the constant patter on his skin, but both you and Dogday were becoming him closer with open hands.

Laughter soon echoed in the air as the three of you would stomp from puddle to puddle. Kissy and Poppy didn’t join in --both not fond of getting muddy-- but enjoyed watching the three of you, two acting like overgrown kids and one finally able to act his age.

Things seemed perfect.

---

Later, Kissy and Poppy had corralled Ollie into the upstairs bathroom for a ‘proper’ bath. Judging from the splashing and outraged squeals from Poppy, the boy was still enjoying the new lease on childhood… or maybe Kissy had decided to join in the impishness. You weren’t sure, and was more focused on Dogday anyways.

Your bedroom had its own bathroom, complete with an old large clawfoot tub that Dogday was able to sit in, though it was a tight fit. So you had taken it upon yourself to grab a basin and a few washcloths to scrub his back that was still coated in sticky things you rather not think about while he handled the rest.

“I wish I could have done better on these stitches,” you offered as you gently cleaned around the sloppy uneven stitches where you had sewn his bottom half back on. The thread you had been able to find was a bright neon green and easy to see against his tan hair, and the ‘hide’ of his top half flapped over a bit of his bottom half since you had no idea how else to stitch the pieces together. Sewing has never been your forte.

You swore magic had to be involved, considering that a simple sewing together and undoing the tourniquet had somehow ‘healed’ the connection and he could feel and control his lower body once more.

“They’re fine,” Dogday reassured, currently scrubbing a stubborn stain on his arm. “The fact you were able to fix me in the first place is a miracle in itself, angel.”

“I know,” you whined, unable to stop glaring at the poor stitchwork. “But it’s green. And all wonky…”

He paused to look down at the stitching, a fond expression on his face (though you couldn’t see it.) “I like it that way. It’s a visual reminder of how much you cared.”

Your heart thumped at his words, and you bit your lip. It had been an act of desperation… but he wasn’t wrong. You had cared-- you had been terrified that you would do something to hurt him. To cause him to die no matter what you did. You wanted to save him-- to be able to save someone.

The memory threatened to overwhelm you, and you dropped your washcloth so you could wrap your arm around his shoulders, uncaring that you were getting your clothes wet by hugging him.

You had been so close to losing him. Close to losing your own life. Failing everyone yet again after you had failed years prior.

“Angel?” Dogday managed to shift, and before you knew it, you were in his arms, cradled against his body as you cried. “What is it?”

“I-I-” you stuttered, clenching your eyes as if you could push those memories out of your mind. Not just of him, but of everything. It was like a crack had formed and everything you had stubbornly ignored came rushing in.

“Oh Angel,” he sighed as if he understood, pulling you closer. “Sweetheart. It's okay.”

“How can you call me that?” You choked out. “I-I left all of you, ten years ago. I saw what they were doing and I ran away.”

“You were little more than a child yourself,” was not the answer you were expecting. As if he remembered just like Mommy Longlegs had. “Probably a bright-eyed intern or something, am I right?”

You weakly nodded your head. You had been so excited when your application had been accepted. Everyone was hushed about the project, but they were looking for brilliant minds to help lead the future. You had been chosen out of hundreds of others. You had signed so many non-disclosure and other legal papers you thought it was weird for a toy factory but dismissed it as corporate paranoia.

You didn't realize why until you stumbled upon that first file. Realized the toys looking after the kids weren't advanced animatronics. You hadn't discovered the whole story, but enough to send you running for the hills.

Literally.

You quit everything, and ran away into the woods hoping they would never find you.

“Besides, you came back. And now we're here. Safe.” His thumb wiped at your tears. “Cuddling in a bathtub.”

The last but made you laugh despite yourself and helped bring you back into the moment. You had to admit, it probably looked odd; giant Dogday squished in the tub with you--a full grown adult--more or less cradled in his arms. Both of you now thoroughly wet.

Your laugh made his smile widen faintly. “There we go. I know we'll all have hard days, but as long as we're here for each other, I think we'll get through it.”

Five: Wait

“I won’t be gone long, I promise,” you had said as you climbed into your truck. Without him. Dogday had all but whined at you, unashamed at the puppy-eye expression he gave you. “Day,” you had sighed, leaning out the window to cup his cheek as he leaned down. “I’m sorry, but the back is going to be full when I come back. And besides, who’s going to look after them?”

He should have pointed out that Kissy and Poppy were well able to deal with anything, the two girls were much more capable than they appeared. However, he had quietly conceded and stood back, allowing you to disappear down the steep drive.

That had been early this morning. Nearly five hours ago.

Dogday had barely moved from his spot, waiting to see the sunlight glint off your truck as it climbed the driveway. Or to hear its engine grumble as it approached. What if something happened to you? His sweet angel? He may have been trapped in the factory all those years, but he still knew the outside world could be just as dangerous. Especially to someone sweet and kind as you.

“You’re really whipped, aren’t you?” Poppy spoke as Kissy approached, carrying the smaller doll on her shoulder. “When I said they’d be our angel to come save us, I didn’t think you would take it this far.”

“They saved me,” he answered, his eyes still focused on this distance. He meant more than just his life, when he was strung up like a piece of meat for the miniatures to come feast upon. When he had been so blinded by rage and the need for revenge…

He could still see your eyes through the thick glass of the gasmask, begging him to stop. Your voice as you asked him to spare Catnap’s life because there had been enough death.

“If that doesn’t deserve loyalty, I don’t know what else would.”

“Loyalty. Right.” Poppy sighed, shaking her head. “You sure you’re not suffering from a bad case of puppy-love?”

Dogday paused, his thoughts screeching to a halt at her words. Kissy Missy giggled behind her yellow hand as he struggled with the idea. Puppy love? Certainly not. What he felt wasn’t all warm, fuzzy, yet superficial.

It was deep and all encompassing to the point it almost overwhelmed him sometimes when he looked at you. Whether covered in blood and dust with a look of grisly determination, or freshly showered and wet hair clinging to your face while you laughed, you were his angel. He’d do anything for you.

“Not puppy love… but I do love them.”

Just as the admission left his voice box, he heard the grumble of an engine, and looked down the road to see your old truck making its way up the zig-zagging path, the bed filled with things as you had predicted. His tail slowly started to wag behind him, belying his excitement and joy.

He loved you so much, and he didn’t care if you never felt the same. As long as you let him stay by your side day after day, he’d be happy.

Even if he had to wait sometimes.

Six: Memories

Ollie may have been naive to things you presumed as common knowledge, but when it came to technology, he was a veritable genius. Considering he had to use the old machines to often run and hide from the others in the factory, it wasn’t that much of a surprise.

The scrawny boy was able to help you hook up the various equipment you had brought home with you amongst the tons of groceries. A scanner, an old VHS reader, and an internet router with enough power to accomplish what you wanted.

You hadn’t left the factory empty handed, after all. Dozens of VHS tapes, hundreds of files and loose papers. You had collected every bit of proof you could. And you were going to finish Rowan's work.

“Are you sure about this?” Ollie asked as you popped the first VHS tape to convert into a digital file. “You’re going to be in big trouble if they find out…”

“I should have done this a long time ago,” you said with determination. “Besides, I promised everyone else. They’ve waited long enough.”

Poppy and the others were silent. This had been part of Poppy’s plan all along, after all. Bring the crimes of Playtime Co to light and assure nothing like this happens again.

Yet your hands shook as you scoured for the email address for every news company and journalist you could find. You remembered what Playtime did to Rowan, and while their factory had been decommissioned a decade ago, it was hardly the only one. They were still one of the largest companies on the scene.

Who’s to say that similar things weren’t happening there? More than one had an orphanage on site, after all.

This would certainly be their downfall, and they were bound to come after you if given half the chance. This little piece of heaven that you had these last few days would be stolen away from you…

Dogday leaned on you from behind, lanky arms wrapped around your shoulders while his chin rested on your head. The heavy weight was comfortable, as was the soft scent of vanilla that you had worked back into his fur after his bath the other day.

“Nothing is going to happen to Angel,” he growled softly. “Or any of us. We’ll protect our new home.”

“Our family,” Poppy added quietly, and got a determined nod from Kissy and a cheer from Ollie. You relaxed into Dogday’s embrace, wrapping your fingers around his arms.

--*--

Dogday and Catnap circled each other, growls and snarls echoing in the small chamber. Red Mist filled the air, yet somehow Dogday was still awake. Aware of what was reality and what was a waking nightmare.

Catnap had not expected to see his old friend again after ripping him in half and sacrificing him to the miniatures. All these years and he thought Dogday was with him--with the Prototype-- and only to learn he sided with her. Poppy. And you. The one Dogday called angel.

Dogday finally made the first move, swinging a broken pipe he had been carrying. Normally Catnap could avoid it, but his feet stumbled over the debris hidden in the thick red mist.

“Stop it!” You screamed, voice muffled by your gasmask as you suddenly appeared out of the mist. Dogday nearly slammed the pipe into you, but stopped a hairbreadth away. Catnap was just as stunned as his counterpart as you stood protectively between the two large beings.

“There’s been enough death,” you continued as Dogday lowered his weapon. “I know he hurt you. I know he’s done a lot wrong, but…”

“He doesn’t deserve your mercy, angel,” Dogday growled softly. “None of us do, but especially not him.”

You shook your heads, arms still stretched wide. “Maybe, but I’m tired of all this death. Everyone’s been wronged here. The horrors that you all went through, even before the Hour of Joy. It has to end, and I want it to end now.”

You protected him. Stood up against the Prototype when He came down and tried to end Catnap’s life and steal his body to integrate with His. Catnap vividly remembered the determined expression on your face as you faced off against his fake-god.

You… were merciful. Kind. Real. While the Prototype had stayed to himself, distant from everyone else, you walked with them. You had taken those four away from the factory, swearing to those left behind that help would soon come.

You would save them.

Catnap had to waitfor little less than a week before seeing your promise come to fruition. Not years, or another decade of pain and suffering. Less than a week and all sorts of people were swarming the factory.

You had made everything public knowledge, so the company or anyone else couldn’t just sweep them under a rug and dispose of them. He watched as humans cared for the little ones, offering the food and water that they had been deprived of for so long. PJ Pug-a-pillar, Huggy Wuggy, and others he didn’t know were still alive were pulled from the hands of death and into life. Freedom.

He could have stepped into the light and joined them. He knew the miniatures would be happy about that…yet watching one of miniature counterparts huddle close with its brethren, all of them with juice boxes and blankets, reminded him harshly of what he had done. He had done so much in the name of that false-god…

He had to find The Savior and do what he could to be redeemed.

#poppy playtime #poppy playtime chapter 3 #dogday poppy playtime #dogday x reader #dogday/reader #dogday x player #dogday/player #poppy #kissy missy #ollie

168 notes · View notes

necrotic-nephilim · 2 months ago

Note

omg another Tim Drake multishipper, hello!! :3 I haven't seen much Tim/Dick, but I'm a HUGE fan of DamiTim and JayTim!

If I may ask, what are things about Tim/Dick that you like? I haven't seen that ship before, so I'm curious! :)

hello!!! i am the biggest Tim multishipper, i will ship that guy with anyone and everyone. but i have such a soft spot for DickTim and would LOVE to talk about them oh my god

there are so many angles you can use to look at DickTim, but the primary one is their relationship to the Robin mantle and how it influences their relationship to each other. Tim is the Robin that Dick chose and gave his mantle to. because while yes, Dick accepted Jason as Robin, Dick was *not* the one who gave Robin to Jason, that was Bruce. and Dick didn't fully approve of it, not as a slight to Jason but just being protective of his mantle. but Dick approved of and gave his mantle to Tim. and on Tim's side, when Tim came to Dick in the first place, it was to ask *Dick* to be Robin, not to be Robin initially. Tim is Robin because Dick refuses and guides him into that role.

with Dick and Tim in general, there's this repeated insistence on both sides that they know what's best for the other and will try to force the other into that role. Tim thought Dick being Robin was best for Dick (and Bruce) and tries to persuade Dick into that role. and later on, when Dick gives Robin to Damian, in the fandom it gets treated as some big asshole move, but in reality Dick does it because he sees Tim as his equal. he thinks Tim is ready to move on from Robin and doesn't want Tim to be his Robin when Dick is Batman because it would be insulting to Tim. and i'm not going to get into whether or not Dick handled that correctly bc that's a whole other post and that moment gets fanonized as it is, but the point is, Dick was doing what he thought was best for Tim. and the driving force of *any* of their conflict is never genuine malice, it's one of them trying to do what they think is best for the other and it causing disagreements. all of their conflict is born out of love and care for each other. when Dick doesn't believe Tim about Bruce being alive, it's not out of doubt of Tim's detective skills, it's out of love and concern for Tim's mental state. (bc historically, Tim has proven very poor at coping with grief) and i personally deeply enjoy ships that are a tad fucked up and dead dove, and the best way to dead dove DickTim is to make them *too* controlling of each other. they try too hard and go too far trying to "help" each other and that can make for some messy middle ground.

but even at their worst, they still make up. Tim and Dick still managed to get back on good ground after the whole Red Robin thing and Dick immediately trusted and believed Tim. their relationship is not a perfect one, but it's one born out of love and trust. neither of them handle being angry/distant with each other for long and they will always attempt to mend things. i'm rarely a New-52 fan but, i've always loved Tim's reaction during Grayson (2014) when he finds out Dick is alive. (Dick died but came back and has been forced by Bruce to continue faking his death bc he's undercover and all) of everyone, it's Jason and Tim who have the worst reaction to Dick being alive. it's an incredibly hurt betrayal. Tim loves Dick so much he can't fathom the idea of doing that to Dick, so he doesn't know why Dick could do that to him. it's one of my fave DickTim moments. the deep hurt and how long it takes to rebuild that trust. but still Tim immediately works with Dick and is willing to help him with a mission. no matter how angry he is, he will always let Dick in and be there when Dick needs him. it's so crunchy to me. they're not always *good* at making up in their low moments, but they will never stop trying.

furthermore, i know fanon has sort of latched onto "Jason was Tim's Robin/hero" which is certainly cute and fun as a concept, but Tim is canonically the biggest fanboy of Dick Grayson to exist. he loves Dick and he loves the mantle of Robin that Dick has created. i personally firmly believe Tim at some point had a childhood celebrity crush on Dick and i can't be convinced otherwise. Tim views Dick through the lense of Robin bc Tim is just massively Weird about the Robin mantle in such interesting ways. when Tim hallucinates Dick encouraging him during Batman (1940) #456, he hallucinates Dick as Robin, not Nightwing. there's such a pedestal that Tim puts Dick on in his mind, i think it's very easy to see that be a romantic attraction. during the Unternet arc of Red Robin (2009), when Tim is in the Unternet his Red Robin suit looks like a Nightwing suit. it's *very* clearly derivative, and that suit was created by his subconscious as how he sees himself. (as per how the Unternet works and all) so Tim's *idealized* version of Red Robin is built off of Nightwing's image.

more on Dick's side of things, when Dick kills Joker during Joker: Last Laugh #6, he does it because he thinks Joker killed Tim. and to be clear this isn't a heat of the moment thing. this is premeditated, multiple characters try to stop him from finding Joker because he fully plans to kill him, and does. (ofc Bruce gives him CPR and all) it's *Tim's* death that pushes Dick over the edge to compromise his morals, even when he knows killing Joker is just letting Joker win. he can't get over his anger over Tim's supposed death though. Dick is incredibly protective of Tim and I think that's fun to play with how far Dick is willing to go for Tim compared to everyone else.

a lot of characters in the Batfam are purposefully entangled, but Dick and Tim feel very fated in a specific way. Tim was there, when Dick's parents died. he saw it happen and from that moment on, his whole life's trajectory was changed in the direction of Dick. i would argue it's Dick that brought Tim into the fold, not Bruce. there's just so many countless moments of them looking up to each other, checking in on each other, helping each other out, etc, especially during the 90s/2000s. they work remarkably well as a united front against Bruce, for me. when they need to hide something from Bruce or just need someone on their side when Bruce is being Bruce, they always go to each other and trust each other far more than Bruce trusts either of them at times. i think a lot about their dynamic during Batman: Prodigal and how being Batman and Robin while Bruce was... off doing who knows what served as a bonding moment. no one else was really around, it was just Dick and Tim relying on each other and getting to know each other better.

of all of Tim's relationships in the Batfam, i would personally argue he's closest to Dick. so much love is already built into relationship, so turning it romantic is a natural and easy step. you can add a lot of conflict from their more unstable moments of attempting to make choices for the other or just have a very sweet and loving partnership because of their trust in each other. it's such a good ship to me.

#necrotic answerings #dicktim #tim drake x dick grayson #timdick #tbf I will ship anything with the justification of 'idk seems fun'#but dicktim I def have canon basis for so this was fun to ramble about!#also I checked bc I thought dicktim was as popular as jaytim #turns out it's *not*? that's tragic.#anyway it's clear i'm mostly fond of their 90s era #closely followed by their post red robin (2009) era #but any version of this ship is good food.#I tend to prefer writing them in a dead dove way bc well. I will always eat the dead dove #but they could be super soft and cute based on their canon relationship #but they love and trust each other. they're also not very good at that tho it's so fun.#I just wanna mash them together like barbie dolls #(tim drake would agree with this agenda)#these two are everything to me I fear.

65 notes · View notes

quillyfied · 25 days ago

Text

Happy Halloween and Happy Ghostfuckers, time to dig into the chest cavity of this episode and not come back out until the next! Another banger of an episode; someone in the Helluva Boss tag called it the Truth Seekers of season 2, and I am so inclined to agree, actually. Equal parts reaction and analysis, and 100% spoilers, like, did that even need to be said?

First: MILLIE MY BELOVED. After a season and a half (over five whole years) of some pretty lukewarm development and attention, having this episode start off with Millie being her happy cheerful self is already such a breath of fresh air, especially given the relentless nonstop personal drama Blitzo and Stolas have been part of for the last couple of episodes. It’s great that this episode is starting after a brief time skip, too; feels more natural for an audience that has had three months to process it all. Watching Millie step right into emotional support is amazing, too, for reasons that have been hinted at before; Happy Campers was so good for her and Moxxie’s characters and I’m prepared to fight about it. Having one of the few women in the cast be relegated to “emotional backbone” doesn’t feel as bad when she’s already expressed insecurity about her importance in life, shown that being an unbelievable badass doesn’t always give her the kind of attention she wants, and isn’t afraid to knock the people in her life down a peg when they aren’t supporting her back. Yes that was just from Happy Campers, and this episode reinforces that with further excellent context. But sshh. We’ll get to that later. Time to watch Loona and Moxxie breaking down because they’re sick of Blitzo’s shit but not to the point of leaving him yet (because they love him too shsshhhshshsh).

Interesting that after a few weeks of moping, NOW is when Blitzo is starting to ramp up his destructive behaviors; what tiny glimpses we were allowed to get in the mission shorts showed a Blitzo that was coping but seemed to be holding it together (you’ll pry the idea that Blitzo’s inability to work the crystal in Mission: Antarctica is directly related to his confidence, not his skill, out of my cold dead rotten hands). This sudden left turn into emptying IMP’s bank accounts and forcing Moxxie and Loona to act out his grief with him appears…new. Maybe lying around eating ice cream and cheese (bro) like a sad sack while watching human television isn’t a new behavior, but the Blitzo-level catastrophic destruction masquerading as retail therapy reads to me as a sudden snap, maybe due to the proximity of a certain lunar cycle. It’s certainly looking on par with running three rings to Wrath and maxing out someone else’s credit cards on shitty horse riding lessons (something that, based on the vague timeline I’ve been able to wrangle out of this godforsaken show, Millie wouldn’t have been present for, though to be fair it’s not like Blitzo ever really has a measured emotional response to anything).

(Viv, if you’re listening, consider this a brief cosmic request for Secretary Stolas to help poor Moxxie with this paperwork. Please. PLEASE. PLEEEEASE.)

I love too that Millie’s approach as default team Emotional Intelligence isn’t to meddle, either, because that also shows maturity on her part; letting the grown ass adults around her handle their shit while still being sweet to them is such a good and necessary component of the IMP team. Hang on having another Millie Feelings Moment while trying to have some sort of chronology here.

…it’s entirely purposeful that Bethany Ghostfucker has Charlie’s hair, right? Because they share a voice actress? Which means…Blitzo has now cosplayed some reference of Charlie…THE STREAMS THEY ARE CROSSING.

I also love how nOTHING could have prepared me for realizing that Blitzo’s outfit in this episode is a cosplay. Of a HUMAN. WHO FUCKS GHOSTS. I don’t know why I am so surprised at how literal the title is; this show continues to both sicken and delight me XD (raunchy humor isn’t my thing and Blitzo was definitely pushing it for me this episode, but also…it’s so nicely balanced with the real emotional breakdowns that I can’t even be mad about it)

Anyway, back to Millie and her Emotional Genius: very glad that she realizes what Blitzo is going through requires a little more babying than usual, and VERY glad that she and Blitzo already have an established system for when he needs to be babied and she doesn’t initially cave to it (I will be buying that magnet, thanks Spindlehorse). I also love how Millie encourages Loona to step up and help Moxxie (who also desperately needs some help, but Millie really can’t focus on him right now because she needs to focus on the root of the problem, which is Blitzo), essentially through begging but also just by being her usual kind self. And that quiet little moment of Millie using Loona’s name for maybe the first time ever is just…mwah. Chef’s kiss. No notes.

Sidetracking again to wonder why the subject of ghosts is just now coming up when Blitzo literally has an alert light labeled “Ghost.” Like. I feel like Blitzo believing in ghosts while Millie staunchly does not is such a good dynamic to play with, but also why is this the first that it’s being addressed. XD Okay, I get it, throwaway gag from the first episode that is becoming relevant now and maybe didn’t have that much thought put into it when it was first made, but I can dream. Or pick relentlessly at tiny details while completely missing the bigger picture. It’s fine. I’m fine.

What I’m not fine with is how Blitzo can completely trash the van in nearly the same way two episodes in a row (assuming that IMP going on the run is happening in Mastermind, which is far from a given, but phwoar would it be maximum emotional impact, to have an episode showing IMP finally moving into their shitty office and how much it means to them, only to have it ripped out from under them the next episode LOLOLOLOL). I’m mostly irritable that my prediction was untrue :P Although I am glad that the prediction that this hotel guy was Leviathan was disproven, because let’s be honest, that would make no sense. Some rando infestor demon, though? Totally on point. Also makes sense why he “falls” for Blitzo’s bullshit disguise; he knows they’re imps because he’s also a demon. Something new to play with. Though it’s interesting that even when Rolando goes rooting through Blitzo’s head, he still doesn’t seem to know either of their real names. Informational blind spot? Would make sense, with how the fight goes down, but later. Later.

Side note to wheeze with relief because when I first watched this episode, it was without subtitles, and I thought Igor was wheezing Blitzo’s name. Him saying “bitch” makes more sense actually. That’s fine. It was much creepier thinking he was saying Blitzo’s name actually XD

Listen. Listen. We know that Blitzo sort of self-medicates with sex and sexual humor. We know that he’s loaded his confidence eggs into the competent at sex basket, because his competence at emotions has a body count (literal). Much like how it was painful to watch Blitzo operating at maximum asshole behavior at the beginning of Apology Tour what with his relentless insistence at returning his relationship with Stolas to safter, sexier ground…watching Blitzo try to distract himself with a sexually charged silly new hobby is equally painful. Because for him, sex is surface level, because anything deeper is dangerous (lord above please ignore the innuendo IGNORE IT). If sex happens to come with emotional attachment, he ruthlessly severs it. But Blitzo being horny isn’t the problem, it’s his disregard for the people that get caught up in his horniness (and he certainly knows how to weaponize his raunchy humor and sexual charisma when it suits him). The Scooby Doo antics are hysterical, but watching Millie start to buckle under the strain of indulging Blitzo is as fascinating as it is inevitable. We already know Millie doesn’t have infinite patience even for Moxxie. So to watch her reach her limit with Blitzo when she might be the only person in IMP whom we have never seen snap at him…delicious. Absolutely the best. And GOOD ON HER for snapping at him for cutting her off, which is a thing he does all the time with everyone ever but rarely gets called on (because he’s waltzed off at that point usually).

And, as I dearly hoped, it’s Millie that starts to really get through to Blitzo, not by being gentle, exactly, but by being her refreshing blunt-not-bludgeoning self. She gives Blitzo the reaming he deserves, but doesn’t belittle him about it; she just points out that his behavior is harmful, draws a boundary, and leaves. Exactly what Blitzo needs…though his brain is certainly going to fuck with him about it first, because lol rejection-sensitive dysphoria being exacerbated by fucked up haunted trauma illusions is a BITCH.

When the gif for this episode dropped and it was Blitzo sliding down a ventilation shaft, I never saw a single other person remark on the dark liquid in the corner of the gif sliding down the shaft after him. I didn’t say anything about it either, just noted it and freaked out quietly every time the gif passed me by. NOW KNOWING THE CONTEXT OF THE DARK SLIDING LIQUID MAKES IT WORSE. I already suspected it was blood (Hellborn blood to be exact). I did not suspect that it would be THAT MUCH BLOOD. Though it’s interesting that Blitzo doesn’t recognize it as such, never calls it that, never seems to realize it. So. Maybe it isn’t blood (spoiler: it’s not blood, I am just dumb and didn’t realize what it is until a third viewing, good job me), but it sure as hell resembles Hellborn blood enough that I have the heebie jeebs. And the visuals are just SO CREEPY—Blitzo is practically drowning in it as he’s dumped into a waking nightmare, and like. Blitzo is an assassin by trade now, and we know IMP did a lot of in-Hell contracts before switching to corner the Sinner market, so there would ostensibly be a lot of Hellborn blood on his hands, but he doesn’t care about that. A job’s a job. The blood he feels guilty about…well…we know, okay, I won’t insult y’all’s intelligence by rehashing it, because it’s about to be made real damn obvious anyway.

THE HAUNTED MILLIES BEING ALL THE TIMES SHE COULD HAVE DIED IN PREVIOUS JOBS THOUGH. Bless the people smart enough to pick that up and throw that spaghetti at the wall because folks it STICKS, it’s so obvious and SO GOOD. And SUCH a neat little insight into Blitzo’s head, too: he cares SO MUCH about his employees, his family, and it does actually haunt him, how many close calls they’ve had. It does occur to him that his actions affect others. It’s just never bothered him, certainly not to this degree. I fully blame Apology Tour and Verosika for getting him started on considering how his actions have consequences for other people, how he “hurts other people’s fee-fees” but also routinely leads his team into dangerous situations where his mistakes could cost them all. And these phantom (lol f-word) versions of Millie not only driving this home through the visuals, but saying the quiet part out loud, asking Blitzo if he realizes this about himself? If he’s ever loved someone without hurting them? FUCK.

I said so many times I wanted Blitzo broken in half; I have FEASTED, friends, because Blitzo’s issues are bigger than Stolas and if he doesn’t address them, he won’t ever be happy with himself, let alone with anyone else, romantic or platonic. ALSO, feast upon the intersecting themes between Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel, because “you think you can change?” immediately put me in mind of “addict trash like you doesn’t change,” which…I believe whole-heartedly is something that Val said to Angel, maybe even said in that moment, but the framing of it and Angel’s character arc made it so clear to me that Val’s words had become Angel’s own. Except Angel started proving him wrong. He started struggling, however small and desperately and weakly, to change who he was, to become someone he actually liked instead of what everyone else wanted and liked. Blitzo is in the same boat. Because both of these shows are so much about how hard it can be to become a better version of yourself, especially in a world that’s set against you being that person, that will hurt you for daring to be better, to be different, to be YOURSELF. What Blitzo is going through right now is the emotional beat-down that every person who has ever wanted to self-improve despite (or maybe even because of) trauma or mental illness puts themself through. If you’ve ever been this mean to yourself and driven yourself to a sobbing panic attack, clap your hands (clap clap).

And then the low blow. The tearjerker. The cry-maker.

Teenage Blitzo running to his mother. Calling out for Mama. Telling her about the scary dream he was having. AND SHE COMFORTS HIM. She never turns on him, she’s never angry, she never even flinches as she’s burning alive in front of him. Ghosts aren’t real (sad) and we aren’t ever going to meet Tilla except through other people’s eyes, most likely Blitzo’s, but that double-edged knife of knowing that Blitzo both was so loved and loved so hard back, only to be the one who got her killed…we’ve known as an audience for a while now that this is the biggest burden on Blitzo’s soul, the one thing he may never forgive himself for and can’t conceive of anyone else forgiving, because it’s what’s Fundamentally Wrong with him: he makes everyone’s lives worse. How can he love when he is so completely destruction incarnate? How can he reach out to Moxxie, to Millie, to Loona, to Stolas, to Fizz, when the person dearest to him crumbled to ash in his hands and it’s his own fault?

How can Millie look at him and tell him he’s wrong, that he made her life better?

Fuck hang on cry break FUCK I forgot to remove my eye makeup before doing this lolololol

Okay. Pivoting to scrutinizing this flashback, because the first thing that is immediately apparent to me (besides how hot Millie and Blitzo are DAMN) is how much older and more tired Millie looks. Millie in particular. We’ve become accustomed to Millie looking a certain way, so the new look is certainly exciting, but it’s the expression that’s really the kicker here. She looks hardened and badass, but so, so tired. She’s tired of just being the muscle. She’s tired of scraping by for a buck, and fewer of them than she deserves. My theory that Wrath is saturated with imps of a similar skill set is correct; my theory that Helluva Boss isn’t going to address the class/race issues they’re drawing on in any meaningful way might yet be disproven. Because Millie doesn’t have horrific family trauma. What she has is what every imp has: systemic oppression and its accompanying insecurities. We got hints of this back in Happy Campers, when she was so thrilled to be the center of attention and important and liked, and NOT for how well she kills people. Now it has further context, and is why Millie being the Emotional Support of the team is so important to her as a character: she never thought she could be anything else. She never let herself believe she could be anything but someone’s underpaid goon that was going to die an early death and be as meaningless as everyone told her she was. Until Blitzo and IMP carved out a space for themselves and moved to THE TOP RING IN HELL. The one where Lucifer lives, the one where the Goetia seem to congregate, the one ring that, despite being a flaming hellhole (lol) that is full of weird dead humans and is constantly being beset by angels at least once a year, is considered the one place imps can’t make their mark. Gosh this episode is so important for making so much of that thinly-veiled subtext all throughout Helluva Boss into text, for underlining Striker’s compliment to Blitzo for making a name for himself by owning his own business, for saying EXPLICTLY AND OUT LOUD that imps aren’t even good enough for the shittiest, most moth-eaten office in Pride.

I’m still not holding my breath on Helluva Boss actually solving anything socially within itself, because that seems like a tall order. But it is no longer too much to ask for Stolas to grapple with some pretty heavy questions about his behavior and his preconceived notions, his internal biases and the ways he has hurt Blitzo in return. SECRETARY STOLAS PLEEEEEASE, I AM BEGGING.

Anyway. Time to drool over the fight choreography, first of this fight between Millie and Blitzo, because it’s GORGEOUS. They have what I was hoping so hard for them to have: fighting as a love language XD Blitzo and Millie understand each other on a pretty instinctual, almost primal level; their fight is a dance, not just because they’re both good at it. It’s an extension of their friendship, or what will become their friendship. Their bodies are their most basic communication tool, Millie often through touch and snuggles, and Blitzo through either fighting or fucking, depending on what’s needed. They both have killer instinct, which Moxxie’s anxiety often chokes out within himself and which Loona hasn’t really had the chance to hone.

I also love that moment before Blitzo tips the pool table, the whole “reputation is everything” “Oh yeah? So what’s your reputation?” Because. BECAUSE!! Millie is an exceptional assassin, but in this fight in particular, she is so different from how she is in the rest of the show. She’s a proper Wrathian imp assassin, angry and hard and relentless. Compare that to the beginning of Ozzie’s, when she scuttles into frame holding an axe in her teeth and screeches about how she’s still so jazzed up, clearly amped and so much more joyful than she is during this flashback. Again, said it at least twice, will say it once more: she looks so exhausted, like she’s burning herself out just to make it. And she isn’t a unique case in that regard by any means. It’s working for Blitzo that makes her unique, that gives her joy in her work instead of making her rely on how other people see her. Sinners already don’t care about her or her feelings; her next meal isn’t contingent on appearing as hardened and badass as possible, it’s on a Sinner having a grudge, which is an exclusive meal ticket that only Blitzo could have weaseled them into.

I also want to point out that this fight between Blitzo and Millie? Pretty well mirrored by the fight between Millie and Rolando!Blitzo. The way Millie blocks him with her forearm, the way she slams him into the wall—those are things Blitzo did to her, back during their first fight. Granted, Millie getting the coolest anime punch-stop of all time is something that’s all hers, because Millie is so special and had no idea until she found a new life. She is the happiest imp there ever was and she kicks no less ass for it.

(WHERE IS MY TIMELINE, IMP WAS AROUND FOR A YEAR BEFORE THEY GOT THE BOOK AND THE OFFICE. Unsure of how long after meeting Loona and Moxxie this meeting with Millie takes place, and this does scramble around the timeline of how long Blitzo had the book before Stolas calls to make the arrangement, and where does Moxxie and Millie’s marriage fit into this? They’ve only been married a year, so probably started dating pretty soon after meeting…still have no idea on when Stolas and Blitzo’s first time happened and how long after that was Loo Loo Land. I will tie myself into knots over this, must stop now.)

Anyway. Putting the fights to bed for the moment, gotta get in on those good good BFF snuggles, which will go immediately into Blitzo’s Trauma: The Movie. After Rolando does the honor of driving home the point that yeah, imps have it real fuckin’ bad in Hell canonically and textually and said out loud and everything, thanks for asking.

…oh. Right. Rolando dissolves into black goo. Blitzo wasn’t crawling through a tunnel of blood. It was a tunnel of Rolando. That’s somehow worse. Ah well. My point about Blitzo’s regrets and visually looking like he’s wading through Hellborn blood stands.

Small detail that’s standing out to me in this episode: how much Blitzo is holding his chest during the Rolando fight. Wondering if he’s cupping the pendant he almost lost, or if he’s injured in the chest pretty badly. Which is SO IRONIC if true, because. Y’know. Feelings. His are hurting.

Gosh this fight with Rolando is so scary, though. We’ve never seen infestor demons before (unless you count the Glam sisters, but they weren’t in their element, so to speak), and the power differential between Rolando and Blitzo and Millie is pretty stark. Different from the fight between Striker and Millie and Moxxie, Striker overwhelms with skill. Rolando is overwhelming with power. Don’t you just hate it when higher-class demons have special powers that reinforce the hierarchy? Bullshit. Anyway. THE FIGHT TAKING PLACE NEAR THE POOL IS SO GOOD. Because why wouldn’t an Envy demon have the water advantage? They’re literally fish people. And it’s TENSE OKAY.

BUT NOT AS TENSE AS BLITZO’S TRAUMA: THE MOVIE IS ABOUT TO BE.

I find it particularly significant that Rolando licks up the scarred side of Blitzo’s neck and then says a few minutes later that Blitzo’s level of insecurity is “intoxicating.” Yeah I imagine he’s super tasty to demons who feed on that kind of thing. See previous horrific trauma hallucination. Which I now have reason to believe wasn’t based entirely in reality; we already know all the Millies didn’t die that way, and now a snapshot of Blitzo finding the pendant in the wreckage. He didn’t watch his mom burn to death, not the way he was forced to watch in this episode. Goddamn. Rolando is an asshole, huh?

The Cash backslap really took me aback, actually, not just because Blitzo flinches away from it. The stills show that Cash does it while holding Blitzo’s still-burned wrist in his other hand, so this is really soon after the fire; one has to wonder if Cash did it because Blitzo caused his mother’s death, or if it’s just for the circus. Hard to get a read on Cash, no idea what his attitude towards Tilla is besides a gleeful willingness to use her to manipulate his son. I suppose I’m also shocked because I never really doubted that Cash probably hit Blitzo at least a little, but…a backhand, to me, reads of casual violence, something that’s done without much thinking about it. The way Stella reared back to backhand Stolas and we know by her shocked expression that he’s never caught her wrist to avoid the impact before. Terrible comparison, by the way, and by terrible I mean great but causing me emotional distress. I hadn’t suspected that Cash was likely just as physically abusive as he was emotionally abusive towards Blitzo. Nice to have the confirmation. I hate it here.

Okay, because I haven’t seen the screenshots anywhere yet: first scene of Millie and Moxxie is from Murder Family when Moxxie unties them. Second…I don’t know, actually, and I’m embarrassed to admit that. Maybe Truth Seekers? I could make the argument for Exes and Oohs if Moxxie was in a wedding dress, but I’m not sure. Any of the many times Blitzo has intruded on their time together, I suppose. And, fun fact: the shots that are playing in Blitzo’s eyes when Rolando forces Blitzo’s eyes open are the ones of Fizz and Verosika in Ozzie’s again. In case that was information you wanted. It’s also upsetting that Loona in LA is part of the reel of Blitzo Thinking Everyone Hates Him, because the fight in Spring Broken at least makes sense to flashback to. Though I do keep forgetting, constantly and with an insistence that infuriates me, that Loona and Blitzo were also having a fight during Seeing Stars and when she kicks him off of her at the end, it’s while Blitzo is apologizing for threatening to replace her.

I find it very interesting that there’s a split-second of Barb that cuts in when the Stolas part of the reel plays; it’s so fast, but right after Blitzo pulls away from Stolas’ hand in Ozzie’s, there’s a second shot of Barb as she’s yelling at him in Happy Campers. Significance? Probably that their separation hurts him just as much as his current one with Stolas, he’s just had more time to try and get used to it. Or represses it more.

Oh hey. Blitzo in his head is back in uniform, crystal and all. Nice. I didn’t even realize it. (…Crystal and all. Like it’s become part of his self-image already. HMMM.)

So interesting that Rolando chooses the most obvious pressure points to try and get to Millie…without realizing that coming out of Blitzo’s mouth, it completely robs them of power BECAUSE of their heart to heart. Millie already knows in her core that Blitzo rejects that image of her, because it’s an image of himself that he also rejects and he refuses to let her wallow in it. Their friendship is built on, well, building each other up in that way. Why in fuck would Millie listen to this asshole wax on and on about how she’s a lowborn inbred hick (what the fuck dude) when he’s currently possessing the guy who helped her break that image of herself? Like. Come on, asshole, use your brain, not your bigotry. But I guess that’s also the point of this episode, showing with explicit clarity that IMP is special because of all the anti-imp sentiment they’ve had to wade through and dismantle within themselves, so why would a supposedly “superior” demon think he had to hit any harder or more precise than that? Also. Though. The careless way Rolando is just throwing around Blitzo’s body is pretty sickening.

Special moment of silence for how Millie knows that Blitzo can take a beating that few others can and uses that to expel Rolando. I’m not crying. It’s fine.

“You’re dead, Bethany!” This is. Such a weird thing to say. Especially when you just went on a pleasure cruise through this guy’s deepest darkest fears. You can pull out what haunts him in the night, but not his name?? Counterpoint: he didn’t CARE to pull out Blitzo’s name. Because he’s an imp.

The knocking Rolando into the pool thing was hysterical, though. Such an anticlimax. Right before the electrocution and the eye-popping and all. Lol.

“FUCK hotels!” Says the man who was casually cosplaying an aspect of the princess of Hell who runs a hotel. I love these shows. I love the casual interplay between them. A crossover one day would be the best thing ever.

“I’ve never had a real friend that I didn’t want to fuck.” That is such a blisteringly honest thing for Blitzo to say that I don’t think he expected it to come out of his own mouth. And I love that Millie knows it has nothing to do with her and everything to do with Blitzo, and how Blitzo feels about Stolas. I just don’t think Blitzo realized he felt that way until he said it out loud.

And wrapping this all up with a nice bow with some Loona and Moxxie character growth, where she ACTUALLY takes care of him instead of leaving him to his own devices! Giving half a shit prevents arson, folks, love to see it.

This had the exact structure of Truth Seekers that got me hooked on this show in the first place: cutting the raunchy humor (which is hit or miss with me, usually don’t like it overmuch) with really deep, complex, and honest character moments. The way Blitzo mentors both Moxxie and Millie in different ways while still relying on them is just so satisfying. Even more satisfying is seeing Blitzo change from a one-note loud pervert into a complicated guy who has real feelings about other people and doesn’t actively want to hurt the people he cares about because he DOES CARE. He’s a fuckup, and he’s trying, and it’s so, so, SO good.

I’m sure I have forgotten to wax eloquent about something or other, but it’s almost four hours later and definitely almost five thousand words into this thing, so I’m gonna cut myself off here. Toodles! See you all in November for Mastermind, which is gonna be FINE I’m sure!!

#helluva boss #helluva boss spoilers #quilly's hellaverse theories #GHOSTFUCKERS IS REAL GOOD Y'ALL CAN'T STRESS THAT ENOUGH

58 notes · View notes

thewickedkat · 6 months ago

Text

long post incoming; meta enthusiasts may wish to digest this in chunks.

i am so completely exasperated with Laudna as of the latest episode. however, i temper that exasperation with my enjoyment as a viewer; indeed, i am feasting on the conflict, thinking finally, some good fucking food, because i think (and have always thought) that Laudna is terrifically interesting as a character and she presents wonderful opportunities for growth not only on her end, but as a catalyst for others.

that being said. the sword. how she handled it. how she handled her own trauma bubbling up, how she handled (or didn't) Delilah, how she handled Orym and Chetney and Dorian and the whole miserable mess she made.

it was selfish. there. i said it. you may disagree with me, i care not, but her course of action was terribly selfish and destructive.

i know many people out there have been likening her behaviour to that of an addict's (and there are many common factors there: the hiding, the lying by omission, the shame, the acquiescence to bad behaviour), but i think in some ways that to do so is reductive, and also removes agency from Laudna herself.

she is allowing her trauma to almost make her decisions for her, allowing it to define her, and she is not giving herself the opportunity to realise that growth beyond it is possible--or, perhaps, she does realise this and is simply too afraid to reach out and grasp it. i think even if Delilah weren't trying to subsume her, Laudna would still be self-sabotaging and self-destructive and still try to hide the parts of her she felt were undesirable; Delilah in many ways simply makes it easier for Laudna to do so and, if pressed, provides a rationalisation for Laudna's choices and actions (as in 'it wasn't me, it was her, she made me do it).

first and foremost, Laudna was a victim of heinous trauma, being murdered and then being put on grotesque display. then she was further traumatised in coming back from the dead and being forced to isolate herself from people for many years, with only Delilah's honeysweet venom dripping into her ear for that time. then she is murdered again as an object lesson for the woman she loves, then stuffed down so deep into her own psyche by the one who first killed her; she is fought for and brought back by her friends...who then seem to do little to check in with her, to make sure she is stable, or coping, because they each have their own baggage and oh by the way, the world is possibly ending. to be fair, there is little time for therapy and stability when you are literally running from crisis to crisis and trying to stop something you haven't even conceived of in your nightmares.

she feels dismissed, often, minimised, and she never developed healthy people skills or coping mechanisms (i am sorry but as much as i love Pâté, a dead rat does not a support group make). so she lashes out, has poor emotional regulation, and Does Crappy Things. so i also understand when she said 'what else have i to give, but myself?'

all that being said. what she did with Orym and the sword was fucking selfish. she is behaving like a child, as if she is the only one whose tragedies matter; she's playing Oppression Olympics, and can i just point out that Orym was the one to say 'i'm sorry' but Laudna never apologised for accosting him while he slept and hurting him? saying 'i didn't mean to hurt you' is not the same, because that implies that if she had not hurt him, stealing from him was perfectly acceptable and reasonable.

i don't believe her when she said 'i accept responsibility' because that means one must accept the consequences of their own actions, and right after she said that, she argued with everyone, told the oldest member of the Hells that he had no right to talk about loss to her, and then fled. that isn't accepting responsibility; that is mouthing platitudes in the hopes you will sway others to your point of view and when it fails, leaving in a huff like a child having a tantrum.

she didn't even bother to ask Orym why he kept the sword. she just tried to take.

Laudna often reacts from a place of fear: of pain, of more trauma, fear of inadequacy, of loss. all of these fears are valid. they are understandable, given all that has happened to her. but just because her fears are valid does not give her the right to make others pay for her emotional baggage. this is what makes her behaviour in ep 95 selfish. all of her actions in the back half of that episode are things she chose to do, and now she must sit in the mess she made. Laudna seems to be falling into the same mental rut that many victims fall into when their trauma isn't dealt with in a healthy fashion: they start fucking others over, as if being a victim excuses it. it does not.

and before others come for me, i say that as one who used to do the same fucking thing but i was lucky enough to have therapy. Laudna doesn't have that luxury--none of the Hells do. there simply isn't time to make space for any of their issues, not just Laudna's. Imogen is still wrestling with her mother; Fearne is wrestling with her parentage; Orym is just trying to keep his feet under him and do what he feels is right without betraying anyone he cares for (yes, including Laudna, shut up); Ashton is still trying to process the loss of Fresh Cut Grass (for gods' sakes, the crafting night was a fucking wake for the lil guy); Dorian just lost his brother and watched his friend succumb to a Betrayer God that turned her into a monster; and Chetney? Chetney is an old man who, i personally think, can pick his battles and knows how to compartmentalise better than any of these kids.

Laudna is not unique in that she has suffered horribly. no one is saying she hasn't, but her behaviour implies that she believes they are saying that. her actions imply she believes not only that she does not trust her friends (thanks, Dorian), but that acknowledging others' losses somehow negates hers. there just isn't time to healthily process any of this, which sucks. it does. i do think her friends love her, care for her deeply, and i think part of the reason they haven't checked up on her as much as they could is because a) they're afraid that her problem with Delilah is much worse than they thought (duh, it is); b) they can't fix the Delilah Problem right now even if they were qualified to do so (even Pike couldn't scour that bitch out of Laudna, she said as much); and c) they run the very substantial risk of wholly alienating Laudna if they press the issue too hard, thus not only losing an asset in the fight against the Vanguard and Ludinus, but also a friend and lover.

it's shit, all around, we all know that. but to pretend that it's okay she did what she did to Orym--or worse, somehow transfer responsibility from her onto him and make it his fault--is infantilising and disingenuous at best, and more than a little insulting.

#critical role #cr discourse #cr meta #laudna #orym did not vote for the leopard-eating face party and then wonder why his face got eaten okay #if laudna is a whole grown-ass woman in charge of her own destiny then she can own the consequences of her actions #she is not a soft uwu bean who can do no wrong for fuck's sake

115 notes · View notes

sammy8d257 · 1 year ago

Text

Purple being a bastard is so important to me

I need them to have piss poor social skills and coping mechanisms that aren't them just being a doormat

Give me a Purple who gets angry and aggressive when pushed

Give me a Purple who's always deflecting any concern directed at them

Give me a Purple who knows they're acting like an ass but does it anyways to keep people away even though they're so lonely

This stick spent half of their childhood being trained to fight and the other half taking care of a dying parent

You can't tell me Purple came out of that with only parental issues

#Sammy8D says #once again thinking about Purple #alan becker #avm purple #ava purple #purple stick figure #Sammy8D Stick Stuff

253 notes · View notes

ilikekidsshows · 10 months ago

Note

hey I figure that you’re probably tired of talking about the Sentimonster nonsense but I genuinely still can’t stand that it’s an actual thing. The wildest thing about it is that I JOINED the fandom because of the Sentimonster theory, actually got excited for it and looked forward to hints, not believing the skeptics or the salters bc it didn’t seem like such a big deal—that is until I saw with my own eyes how SO MANY FANS said with their whole chest that, in “Ephemeral” Adrien HAD to be a Sentimonster or there was no other “sympathetic explanation” for why he didn’t de-akumatize himself or fight off Gabriel.

Seeing the victim blaming in real time was such a punch in the gut—and then they just kept on coming!! It finally hit me how damaging the entire thing because for the show as a whole. If even regular fans that weren’t even known for salting could so willingly disregard and ignore genuine abuse coping mechanisms in favor of magical BS… it was such a dark time. Abuse Apologism and victim blaming in a whole package

Sometimes, when I write about Miraculous, I pretend I'm writing about a show that only had three seasons. That's what the "zagulous fandom" tag is for; it's for posts that are about the parts of Miraculous that had Zag's executive control keeping Astruc in check. I also kinda accepted long ago that my blog's kind of a support blog for people who are against the Sentihuman concept.

When I first heard of the expanded Sentimonster theory, the one that went "all the rich kids are Sentimonsters", I instantly went: "You do realize how making victims of child abuse nonhumans with questionable rights minimizes their victimhood and excuses their abusers, right?" people told me I was making stuff up and whoopsie doo, the writers did exactly that.

Neither Gabriel nor Tomoe faced any consequences for abusing Adrien and Kagami because, after all, since they're Sentimonsters, the real abuse was that they didn't have their Amoks so giving them their Amoks resolves all their problems. The only abusive parent who gets acknowledged as such is Félix's dad, who is dead by the time we hear about any of this, because we can't have abusive parents face consequences for their actions because that might upset people or whatever excuses Astruc's giving for Gabriel's vindication now.

This also minimises all the affects of the abuse on the kids, since they can be handwaved away with: "They were just programmed that way." Kagami's bad social skills aren't because her mother isolated her, it's because she forgot to program Kagami with those skills. Félix's villainous behavior isn't because his mother is overly permissive with him, he was just programmed that way (by the eeeeevil Colt). Adrien isn't a people pleaser because he's repeating his abuse coping mechanisms with his overly controlling girlfriend to keep her happy the same way he did to his overly controlling father, he was just programmed to be the perfect doting son and boyfriend.

You'll notice how neatly this ties into the crew denying that Chloé was abused in any way ever by her clearly abusive mother. Chloé wasn't made into a Sentimonster, so we can't have her bad coping with her abuse be excused by "Sentimonster programming", so now the writers are just gaslighting the audience and saying: "Chloé wasn't mistreated by her parents which caused her to act to out to get attention (which she literally stated to be her motive in season 3), in fact, she's the one who's been terrorizing her poor, innocent father and he needs to be protected from this naturally occuring evil hellspawn."

All child abuse in this show gets excused.

Of course, now the writers have an added reason to make sure Adrien's abuse gets excused in particular: because they made Marinette benefit from it. As I said, Adrien is repeating abuse coping mechanisms learned from dealing with his father to keep Marinette happy. He's always prioritizing her feelings and never brings up his own problems, and this is good for Marinette, because she can just enjoy having a perfect boyfriend who caters to her every need and doesn't have problems of his own or with the ways she treats him (for all she knows). She's even maintaining this status quo by lying about Gabriel to Adrien, so Adrien won't get upset (and have emotional needs that she would need to help him with). Either we have to excuse Adrien's abuse, or we have to admit Marinette is benefitting from the fact that Adrien was abused, and even taking advantage with the way she makes no effort to improve their communication on her end, preferring to spy on Adrien and lie to him instead of just talking to him like an equal.

The show writers are also allergic to following through on their creative decisions, is what I think. They put all these different victims of child abuse and neglect in the show, and then dehumanized these children in different ways so that they wouldn't actually need to say anything about that abuse they wrote in and they can instead pretend it was never there. This is why I also think that, no matter how much the show's defenders insist the story isn't over yet, we will never be getting a proper resolution to the Sentinonsense.

#ml critical #ml salt #sentimonster salt #ml writers critical

117 notes · View notes

yevmarie · 1 year ago

Text

Light My Fire | Chapter 1

Masterlist

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 >

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Female Reader

Pronouns: you, she/her

Word count: 1.4k

Warnings:

angst;

mentions of depression;

implied suicidal thoughts;

swearing;

a lot of smoking (by main character as well. Sorry for making it as a social aspect here, I hope you won’t get it as if I encourage you or something);

Merle being pervert;

some differences from the main plot may occur;

poor English (not a first language, but I’ll be glad if you point on the mistakes, also may skip the southern accent as I’m not aware of it too much :( ), and poor written skills in general.

If I miss something, please let me know. I hope you enjoy :).

___

Your eyes are closed and your body trembling, desperately trying to hold your tears.

“Y/N,” The soft and calm woman's voice tells you. “Let’s recall the rectangular breathing. Inhale…” You inhaled through your nose for four seconds and stopped breathing for four seconds as well. “Exhale…” You exhaled slowly and then held your breath again. “Inhale…”

“Fuck it!” you swore and opened your eyes, stretching out your arm to the Parliament pack lying on the kitchen island. You were not happy with this habit but when your life went to shit you didn’t care.

This had been an awful year full of loss which unfortunately led to depression. You visited your psychiatrist regularly and this helped you to overcome a bit. At least you don’t start suddenly crying and coped to move on. Especially when your best friend, like almost your older brother, got to the hospital and there was no good news about his health condition. As an aunt (non-blood relative) of his son, you couldn’t give up just like that. But it seemed if you had a chance, you’d do it.

You lit the cigarette, inhaled, and continued pouring the coffee from Jezve to the small thermos. This was your everyday morning routine. After this ritual, you go to the park and prepare yourself mentally for the new day. Today’s situation was different, you wouldn’t go to the park, but you couldn’t prevent yourself from beginning the day normally at least partially, and for the last time.

The TV was turned on, and the host said with a trembling voice thousands of people got infected with an unknown disease and it led to chaos in several states and yours as well, many people died. Neighbors outside were screaming, children were crying. Everyone was rushing and trying to pack all their lives in their cars. You thanked God your parents weren’t here. Sounds blasphemous, but you couldn’t bear this weight upon your shoulders. When you were imagining the apocalypse while having one of your anxiety attacks, you swore yourself you would end up right at the beginning as this would be not life anymore, but dance with the death you didn’t wish to take part in.

But you are here. Fortunately staying calm (thanks to medication). You already packed your things after your friend (your ex), had called you and asked you to be prepared to move. He told you he’d come to your house and you then follow him in your car. Also, in case he succeeds in grabbing your best friend from the hospital, you can transport him as he was unconscious, and more space was needed for sure.

The man dressed in a sheriff uniform enters your house “Are you kidding? Coffee, really? What about mediation then?” he saw you looking at him with no emotion expressed on your face. He cooled down for a moment. “Have you grabbed the essentials?” you nodded in the direction of the bag laying near the door.

“Is the tank full?”

“As usual,” you mumbled “Shane” you breathed the smoke out of your lungs “Are Lori and Carl with you?”

“Sure, come on. And quit this shit, please.” he pointed at the cigarette and went outside your house.

You closed the thermos, switched off the TV, and went to your garage. In several minutes you were following Shane’s car. Carl turned back to you from Shane’s backseat car window and waved to you. You smiled and waved in response. Thanks God your last lifeline was safe and sound. You switched on the player and drove.

“Time to die

Hammer high

Name your price

And kneel

Hail the apocalypse

All flesh is equal when burnt

We are forgiven

Forgive as we never shall learn

Get down

Hail the apocalypse”

Shane turned to the highway and you nervously turned the steering wheel following him. Your eyes widened in shock. You grabbed the phone and called him.

“What’s the matter?” you screamed.

“My colleagues told me there was a shoout-out near the hospital. Need you all to get to a safer place. We’ll deal with Rick later.” You threw your phone away after the call ended. “Shit”.

The trip was short but unbearably lasting as you were always stuck in traffic jams. You can see the sun already went under. As you saw the road was blocked with cars and people fussing you turned the engine down. Shane got out of his car and went further into the crowd. After five minutes you saw him getting back approaching you.

“We need to stop here, the road is blocked. Let’s have a break and figure out what to do next.” you nodded and got out of your car. Shane went to Lori to tell the same. Carl opened the door and ran to you.

“I’m glad you are with us, Y/N.” said Carl squeezing your waist. You brushed his hair gently with your fingers and smiled in response. “Me too…”

“Carl” Lori called “Could you please come to me for a second?” Carl looked at you, smiled, and ran to his mother while she was looking at you concerned.

You switched your attention from Lori and took the Parliament pack out of your denim jacket, picked a cigarette, and realized you forgot the lighter at home. You started to look around and your sight captured the two men smoking standing near their car in front of yours. You approached them.

“Hey, could I ask for a lighter, please? I forgot mine at home”. The older grinned, sticking the tip of his tongue while observing your hips in black leggings moving his sight up and stopping at your breasts covered with the tank top of the same color as your leggings. He looked up at your eyes and sang “Come on baby, light my fire”. The younger burst out of anger and barked.

“Have ya not slept offa hangover yet, dumbass?”

“Woah, brother,” the older laughed and lowered his voice “Why are ya so tensed?” The younger started nervously biting his lips while the older’s mouth was in front of his ear. “Getting nervous because of the beautiful girl talking to ya?”

“Shut the fuck up!”

You just continued to watch a one-man show.

“Okay, won’t bother ya, my puss,” he laughed and stared at you measuring you up “My brother is such a shy guy. Please keep an eye on him while I go and let off my steam ‘cause of the hotty around” he blinked at you.

The younger looked angrily at his brother going away down to the wooded area near the road.

“What a gentleman…” you concluded.

“I’m sorry,” the younger grunted and looked at you blushing.

“Never mind, at least someone stays positive.” you smiled. The man put his hand in the pocket of his jeans and took out a light passing to you. You lit up your cigarette and inhaled. The lungs burned with pleasure while your head went a bit fainty as you haven’t eaten anything today yet. “Thanks,” you said and then went back to your car. You opened the door and took the thermos with coffee and a small tourist cup. The man was standing quietly and glared at you as if his gaze was an X-Ray that could reveal anything suspicious about you.

“Hey,” you looked at the man while pouring the coffee into the cup “What’s your name?”

“Daryl” he didn’t stop gazing with his cold blue eyes.

“Y/N. Wanna some coffee?”

“No, thanks,” he mumbled.

“Come on,” you approached him “The night will be long, you need to stay on your legs.”

He looked at you thinking the hell this bothers you. You read his thought as his expression was asking and added “Let’s consider this as the gesture of thanks as you saved my life from the lack of nicotine.” You chuckled.

“Thanks” he replied silently not stopping investigating you.

“Bring it back to me when you finish” You pointed at the cup and turned to go away to Shane as he had called you.

The man stayed confused holding the cup and looking at you while you went away.

“What a sweetie, huh? I’d spent some time with her on the backseat” Merle let Daryl know about his presence.

“Fuck off!”

Merle laughed and sang gazing at you talking to your friends “You know that it would be untrue. You know that I would be a liar…”

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 >

121 notes · View notes

thecapricunt1616 · 10 months ago

Text

The Bear & His Honey Chapter 3

Inspo: Quote - “All the lights couldn’t put out the dark that’s running through my heart ” Summary: (18+ ONLY FIC!!!) Winnie & Richie meet for the first time, have a conversation about their love for Taylor Swift over a cigarette while Carmen fights through a panic attack in his office. W/C: 3,000 A/N: Oh my WORD!! I am so excited for this chapter, I hope you all like it!! I’m hoping my Carmy and Richie are doin’ it for ya! I’m feeling this pacing for the moment, but I promise there will be a time jump at some point. I just want to have the relationships build a little and have you guys get to know Winnie outside of who she is with Carmy!! Warnings for BTC: Abuse (Verbal, Emotional, Physical), Swearing, Self Harm, Cigarettes, Mentions of alcohol, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Disassociation, Negative self talk, bad coping skills. (0 smut though, wow!!)

𝒞𝒽𝑒𝒸𝓀 𝒪𝓊𝓉 𝑀𝓎 𝑀𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉!

Chapter 2 Here!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

“Don’t worry missy, mommy isn’t forgetting about you” I brush my hand over my cat, Persephone’s, supple fluffy white tail. “Jus’ give me a second ok?” I leaned into the mirror, finishing applying a mauve lip liner to the edges of my lips before filling them in with gloss. I give myself one final lookover, smoothing down my pale, buttercup-colored cardigan. I look like I should be freezing my ass off, but thanks to my fleece-lined nude tights- I am warm as can be.

I head into the kitchen, Persephone weaving in and out of my legs as she usually did getting a giggle out of me. “Poor starving fluffy baby mm’?” I coo, grabbing her dish from the cabinet and emptying one of her favorite shrimp-flavored Friskies lil’ soups into the bowl, and setting it down for her. She dives right in and I scratch her head lovingly. “There, that is your bedtime snack ok? You got it early, so when it’s really time for bed later, don’t try and tell me I forgot somethin’ yea?” I go grab my ‘purse’ from the bedroom which was just the tote I’d gotten at Taylor Swift's concert a few months ago, as well as my white pleather platform boots, and sit in the entry hall, putting them on.

I look at myself once more in the hall mirror, adjusting the white bow tying back my long locks that I’d curled. “Love y’ baby, Mama be home soon, be goods ok?” I called to Seph’ who was still chowing down in the kitchen. I slipped on my fur cape shawl-type garment over my shoulders and stepped out of my apartment. Locking my door, I headed back down a few blocks to The Bear. I put on my headphones as I walk, humming softly to the music blasting through them.

As I approach the alleyway, I see light puffs of smoke coming out into the street. I hurried my pace, hoping it was Carmen out for a smoke before I showed up. But when I finally see around the corner, it's not Carmen, it’s some other man. Older, wearing a brown leather jacket. He nods in my direction and his lips move, his voice completely drowned out by the music that was still blasting in my ears. I pull my headphone away from my ear lightly “Sorry, wha’dya say?” I asked, taking them off and putting them in my bag.

“I asked if you were in your Fearless Era? Nice sweater” he said and I smiled wide. “Shut up- you listen to Taylor Swift?” I walked up to him, leaning a few feet away on the brick wall. “Hell yeah! My daughter loves her, you saw the show too?” He takes another drag of his cigarette and I smile with an enthusiastic nod. “Mmhmm!!” I say proudly “Can you believe She played Death By A Thousand Cuts and Mad Woman?! Those are like, my favorites from those albums!”

He blows the smoke past me and nods with a smile. “It really was fuckin’ fantastic. Broad puts on such a crazy show it was fire.” I looked closer and realized he was wearing chef's clogs “D’ you work here?” I questioned. Another nod “My cus’ owns it. You been?” He asked and my eyes widened before I let out a laugh, a real laugh.

“I’m here for - for him!! Actually. He umm..invited me for a drink.” I said a shy smile dancing on my lips and my cheeks heating slightly.

“Holy shit” he laughs. “Holy fuckin’ shit” he shakes his head in disbelief. “What?” I giggle. “He has a secret girlfriend or somethin’?” I joked and that got another chuckle out of him. “No, no. Absolutely not- I just am- in shock and awe.” He snorts, taking another drag.

“Why’s that? Am I ugly or somethin’?” I teased “oh no no quite the opposite actually, surprised he was able to talk to you. Kid gets all quiet around pretty girls.” I shrugged. “Hes….shy. But very funny.” I added. “Funny? Wow. I can’t wait to tell Sug’ t’morrow. Wait so how did you- how did he ask you out?” He questioned.

I took a deep breath, a sheepish smile on my face “ok, so- he didn’t - he did ask, but he did it by making me ask. He was like ‘oh so you only go out with guys that have xyz’ and I was like ‘no you askin’ me out player?’ And he was like ‘nope but we can go out’ he’s such a dork” I smile at my feet and he snorts a laugh, rubbing his chin like Carmen does.

“Yeee’ that’s Carmen’s style. He's very indirect- with girls that is. With family though- god. He’s too honest most of the time” I look back up at him. “So… how does this whole thing work, like- so Carmen is your cousin, and who is Sugar?” I asked “oh, yeah Sugars my cousin too, but she’s Carmy’s big-sis. That’s why if you decide to start comin’ ‘round more often don’t be surprised if you see her bossin’ him around even though he’s technically the boss” I giggle a bit.

“Ohh no I saw it already. She’s- she can be scary. But she’s very pretty, so that makes up for it. She came in tellin’ him off about cups earlier” I said and he chuckles “Yeah. She was the torment today, it’s usually Carmen but he was ok for the most part. Except at the end of the day, oh! Shit!! Oh my god you” he said and I looked at him, confused. “Me?” I question, pointing at my chest. “You. Yeah you. That’s why he was sooo fuckin’ dead set on hauling everyone’s asses out the door at 9:40. Oh and that’s why he had Marcus deep clean the bar. I see.” He took another drag of his cigarette. A heat brushed my cheeks.

Is he nervous to see me?

I take my bottom lip between my teeth in thought. “How’d you meet?” He asked, bringing me back. My gaze meets his again, “ah- we met today? Actually? Well, I think I’ve seen him like- around, because I’ll take walks on my breaks so he’s probably been out smoking. But I was gonna come by the restaurant for lunch and he was in need of a light so, I gave him one. And then he found I work at the bookstore and figured that means I’m smart or something and with his pretty eyes he just… managed to rope me into editing your dessert menu” I said and he laughed.

“That’s one thing about Carm’ this place?” He taps the brick with his finger “Is him, he will do anything to make something perfect about it. So I guess consider yourself smart since he trusted you to even suggest he does anything differently. That’s so much trust with him, he must really like you” he said and I blushed, my eyes meeting my boots again.

Really like you.

“So are all you Berzattos this charming, or is it just you and Carm?” I teased and he laughed, his head falling back “Oh, I like you” he pats my arm before stomping out the butt of his cigarette. “Here, you don’t have to walk all the way around - let me just let you in the kitchen” he dug keys out of his pocket, unlocking the large metal door. “Just realized, never got your name.” He said, opening the door and holding it ajar with his foot.

“Winnie” I reply, and held out my hand. He shakes it, his hands were cold from the weather but his touch was gentle. “Richie” he said and I looked into the hall that leads into the kitchen, my heart beginning to hammer in my chest. “Well I’ll leave you kids at it. No fuckin’ in the kitchen it’s spotless “ he said, breaking the tension in my chest and earning a laugh from me. “No promises, know where he is?” I asked and he nodded with his chin down the hall “2nd door on the right, his office. He’s probably finishing up paperwork n’ shit.” He said and I gently kissed his cheek on my way through the door, a friendly gesture.

“It was very nice to meet you, Richie.” I said sweetly, his cheeks were bright red. “You too, Winnie. Hopefully we see you around more- Carm can use the attitude adjustment you gave ‘em this afternoon a little more often.” He joked and my cheeks were the ones that now felt hot to the touch.

He actually listened to what I’d said about being good.

I nod “I’ll work on it” I said and he nodded with a smile, “night.” He said “g’night! Be safe!” I replied as he shut the door.

The kitchen was completely silent, the only sound was the buzzing of the lights. It was literal night and day. The bookstore was always quiet unless we were doing story time for littles, and at night it was just as quiet.

“Carmen?” I called out, my heels clicking as I made my way down the hall. “Hellooo? Hello hello?” I called, hoping he’d open up the office door. My heart picks up again, I feel it in my throat. Pounding, booming. I try to swallow the thick thumping, but it doesn’t help. I hear a hard thump against Carmen’s office door, causing my eyebrows to furrow.

I get up to it, leaning in and I hear Carmen breathing, heavy and uncontrolled. I speak up, trying to find my confidence. He had invited me here. He wants me here.

He trusted you to even suggest he does anything differently. That’s so much trust with him, he must really like you…

Richie’s words of encouragement bounce around in my mind.

I took a deep breath, gently tapping on the door with my French tip.

“Carmen? Carrrm? Ya’ in there? Hellooooo? I hear you breathing in there… Ok, well guess what- I just met your cousin Richie, and apparently? He listens to Taylor Swift too. So, unless you open up this door? I’ll like- totally go right back out there and flirt with him - and, you’ll positively 100% lose your super-duper smokin’ hot date to your awesome, super friendly cousin-“

Carm POV;

**10 minutes before Winnie shows up**

I lean against the office door, eyes screwed shut, so tightly my forehead was beginning to cramp up as my hand shakes uncontrollably next to me, my wrist cracking with every violent flick. I was desperately trying to feel something, but my entire body was numb. My chest heaves up and down rapidly, tears burning my eyes and I roughly rub over my forehead and cheeks. Clawing at my hair and pulling tightly, to feel something, anything at all. “Fuckin - get it together, fuck!” I muttered, desperate, my nails digging into my forearm so hard that if I had any mind to me at this moment, I’d realize I was drawing blood. She would be here any second, the first - first girl, the only girl I have ever had the balls to ask out, and of course one of these - these - episodes.. Just had to come on - right now. I bump my head against the door in a futile attempt to ground myself, but it doesn’t work. I still feel fucking nothing.

All of a sudden, per usual to this bullshit- I’m transported back to New York, to Noma, in the bathroom, hurling my guts up before my regular night shift. The pang in my stomach though, was merciful compared to the fucking hell on earth that place was.

Then, I was on line, making Julianne cuts to a carrot for the 3rd time since the previous 2 were ‘obviously done by a blind ape’, or ‘disgustingly amateur’ as per what I can only presume is the words of the demonic human incarnate of every, single, sin, in any life, I’ve ever fucking lived, coming back in this one to haunt me in to my grave.

“You fucking stupid sack of shit” he seeths in my ear. “You are pure shit. Hear me? You are nothing motherfucker, you are a fucking shitstain on my name. I swear, at this rate? You get outta’ here? You are done, Hear me? DONE!!!” he barks in my ear so vociferous that it circumscribes the furthest corners of my mind, my knife slipping when I twitch slightly at the pain of the volume in my ear and it shreds into my skin, deep.

I hissed at the sting before the fire of pain, my hand jerking away on instinct and dropping the knife. It clattered to the floor loudly and before I could react he grabbed the collar of my whites brutely, dragging me somewhere, my feet stumbling and tripping over each other as he towed me like a ragdoll, before he was violently throwing me to the floor of the bathroom in a pathetic, bleeding heap. “Fucking pussy” he growled, digging his chef's clog in my side just enough to knock the remaining wind out of my lungs. “Clean yourself up, pathetic moron. There's fucking work to be done, or did you overlook that? You slothful, utterly useless, piece of garbage.” The door to the bathroom slams, and I’m left alone, my blood leaking into the tile. At least he didn’t spit on me this time.

My first thought isn’t if I need stitches, or of the unbelievable pain coursing through my hand and wrist - of course not, why would I ever think of myself first? Instead, it’s of the fact that my blood pool has already grown so large that it’s leaking into the grout of the restroom floor. And if it stains with the remnants of my stupid mistake, I am fucked, done, and utterly screwed. I scramble up, wincing lightly as I try to take a breath, a sharp ache going through my left lung where his shoe had dug in.

Suddenly, I’m ripped through the walls of space and time, the soft hum of the heater meeting my ears, as the sound of the sweetest voice I’d ever heard makes its way through the door, She’s here.

“Carmen? Carrrm? Ya’ in there? Hellooooo? I hear you breathing in there… Ok, well guess what- I just met your cousin Richie, and apparently? He listens to Taylor Swift too. So, unless you open up this door? I’ll like- totally go out there and flirt with him - and, you’ll positively 100% lose your super-duper smokin’ hot date to your awesome, super friendly cousin- I also brought my book since you were just sooo interested earlier. Maybe you can take some tips from the bat-boys for your flirting skills, handsome.”

Her voice was like a tether, gently tugging me back into my body. It’s as if my soul snaps back into my physical self all at once, her words ringing through my mind like soothing white noise, not registering a single thing she’s saying, but relishing in the fact my feet were on the ground, and I was beginning to be able to feel them there again. I try to find focus on the sound of her sweet, sweet voice.

My face finally relaxes, and I force my eyes open. I’m back- Back at the bear. I let out a shaking sigh of relief, my entire body was trembling. Blood felt like it was pooling back into every one of my limbs in a tsunami. I suddenly felt so heavy, like I could just sink into the floor in a heap and die there.

“J-J-J” I stutter out, biting down on my cheek so hard I felt a sting of pain and the taste of metal filled my mouth, so embarrassed that I’m succumbing to my old habits, especially in front of her. Forcing a deep breath into my lungs, finding my head, find your head, find it, find it Carmen.

I inhaled so deeply it felt for a moment like my lungs could pop like balloons, before focusing all of my energy into letting out the breath as controlled and light as I could, which finally centered me enough to be able to find my tongue. “Just One sec. M’ sorry” I managed to get out, rubbing over my face roughly to get rid of the remnants of any stray tears, before wiping my hands on my shirt and turning to open the door.

Before my mind and my….brain? Could process my actions, I was pulling the door open, pulling her into my chest, and nuzzling my face into her neck. I held her to me tightly, as if we were hanging off the very edge of the earth, and she was my only tether to reality. I took a deep breath, my knees feeling weaker at the intoxicating scent of her, Jasmine, rose, orange? Maybe grapefruit…and…Honey.

“Thank y’ for comin’, Winnie, I need a fuckin’ drink, now.” I mutter quietly into her supple skin.

Read Chapter 4 Here!

76 notes · View notes

waltzingwithyourenemyattheball · 1 year ago

Text

PICK A CARD: MESSAGES FROM THE SUPER BLUE MOON

Left: 111; Right 333 Disclaimer: Take what resonates and leave the rest. You are not allowed to copy my work under any circumstances. All personal readings are paid. All thing mentioned in disclaimer in my pinned posts applies here.

🌑111🌑

You are worried about something that you have just started or will begin soon. It could be college, job offers, but something has you worried. You are doubting everything suddenly and no matter what you do or where you go, it creeps up on you. You need to observe, the more you reject the awareness of the negative thoughts, it feels the more powerful they get. Do not think yourself as the thinker of the thoughts, you are a mere observer, so identify as such, tell them, now that they have spoken, now you are aware of them , and later say ‘ I do not consent to this’ and let it be. The key is to simply observe not control and when they do not get the attention they so wanted, they’ll leave you be. You are extremely intelligent, mental gymnastics is your thing, some of you are good chess players, logical, love to deduce things. Here you are being told to use your creativity, you have being given a tool, whatever that might be in your specific case, you are being told to use to to go to calm waters, or the ruffled ones will wash all over you. Do not be afraid of the shadow, see it, learn from it. Acceptance is key here, for a lot of you, denial is your coping mechanism, but it is not working in your favour anymore. You have suppressed feelings for too long and now they want to come up, clear limiting beliefs, become aware of them. THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF YOUR SHADOW WORK JOURNEY(for a lot of you). There is more to the problem, like you can’t even put your finger on it, there is self doubt, you go one way and the other seems more like it, you are in a mental maze, what is your strength is not applying here and you my friend, are frustrated, FIND A NEW ANGLE, A NEW WAY. For you are dealing with the subconscious, not an easy fae. (The messages won’t stop, if I go on, I’ll go on forever) COMMENT' 111' to claim healing. 🌙DM for a personal tarot reading to heal your shadows.🌙

🌕333🌕

Word channeled: GRATITUDE JOUNRAL.

You have a lack mindset. No matter how much balance you achieve, or growth, you focus on what you don’t have and let that affect how you feel about the rest. The main important thing is money, you feel insecure about it, at this point, you just want a lottery or someone to spoil you. You are tired and desperate. You are being told to see abundance in other areas, like look at this example: person sitting in the shade of the tree crying, all they think is if I had some money, I could buy an apple, what he doesn’t realises is the tree he is sitting underneath is the apple tree. You have it right there. Sometimes, abundance is you, your skills to get the fruit. Whether you buy a dress or make one, at the end you still have a dress, and during the process, you still have to make effort, whether at the dress or somewhere else. BASIC NECESSITIES ARE OF COURSE NECESSARY, but this is not we are talking about. This is different, someone blaming and self pitying. You are being told to keep a gratitude journal, the more you thank for recieving the more the universe gives. It only understands the word yes. So if you say ‘I am poor’ it is so be it. So affirm good things especially while eating, me mindful to not watch anything while eating because it goes straight to the food, whatever they are saying on the tv. ESPECIALLY NO NEWS AND CRIME DRAMAS. The good news is you are almost there, almost there to reaching equilibrium, at the end it’s all about balance and trust me when I say, it’s not far away. Keep focusing on the good, be happy with what you have while working towards what you want. This is healthy attitude, remember the universe does not respond well to desperation. COMMENT' 333' to claim healing. 🌙DM for a personal tarot reading to heal your shadows.🌙

EL TAROT

#pick a picture #pick a pile #pick an image #pac reading #pick a card reading #ask response #pick a photo #pick a card #pac tarot #free tarot #blue moon #blue

177 notes · View notes

amberskyyking · 2 months ago

Text

It’s Fox Day so have a fluffy lil Corrie Guard Talent Show story I wrote based on this post featuring a bunch of my talented writer friends OC’s and Fox trying so hard to develop better mental health patterns and so so many hugs 🥰❤️🦊

Ten Out Of Ten

7k words! Click the title for the AO3 link. @corrieweek TW: Suicidal thoughts mentioned, KMS joke and general implied past abuse and decom, but things are better and they’re healing now ❤️‍🩹

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

“I’m going to fucking-”

Stitch’s eyes snapped to Fox’s face the moment he started mumbling those words under his breath, and he cut himself off. Kill myself, was what he wanted to say, but he wasn’t supposed to make jokes like that was he? They’d talked about this at length after the war was over, after the Senate voted to declare clones were Sentient in an upset he still wasn’t sure he believed really happened. Their newfound position was so fragile, even if the decom orders he shielded them from for years had been stopped. His vode weren’t expendable anymore, there were consequences for abusing them now that Fox had the right to enforce, but the sense that all those protections could be ripped away had seeped deep into his bones. Fox hadn’t been able to protect them before, his efforts hadn’t been enough, he wasn’t enough! Palpatine might be gone, but Fox couldn’t shake the icy dread that he would see those leering yellow eyes around every corner, hear that cruel voice disguised with grandfatherly patience threatening his vode if Fox didn’t comply, feel the sudden pang of lightning sear across his skin -

“Fox,” Stitch said his name in a hard tone, snapping him out of the spiraling thoughts for a moment. “Stop that.”

Right. Fox took a breath.

Stitch had a point, he knew he did, as much as he hated to admit it a couple of weeks ago when he made his last ill-timed joke passing by a familiar spire. Jokes like that only reinforce negative thought patterns, Stitch had snipped. It’s not funny, it’s only making your damn mental health worse and it’s going to give me a fucking aneurysm one of these days if you don’t knock it the hell off!

The reminder filled him with a new wave of guilt. His poor CMO could never trust Fox wasn’t serious about those sort of things, and Fox honestly couldn’t blame him, but Stitch already had to put up with so much. Now Fox was adding to it. Maybe it would be better if he just-

“I’m serious, Fox,” Stitch snarled. “Want to try that again?”

Fox scowled at the floor. He was trying to do better, he really was, he had to, for his brothers sake. He’d promised them he would, even if he didn’t understand why they still bothered, now that the primary threat to their existence was gone. But Stitch was still glowering at him expectantly. Thorn and Thire had gone quiet too, right in the middle of their own conversation. Great. Now they were all concerned again, just because of his bad coping skills. Fox looked up at the ceiling, trying to remember what Stitch had said to do with thoughts or jokes like that instead, even if it was just to appease them. Just say something different, right? Something positive or funny or ridiculous?

He let out an exasperated sigh and blurted out the first load of nonsense that popped into his head. “I’m - I’m going to put on the best talent show Coruscant has ever seen,” Fox muttered, his voice thick with sarcasm.

There was a pause, and Fox felt a flush creep up his neck. Where the hell had that come from? It wasn’t even really funny, it was just ridiculous, Thorn and Thire were bound to give him shit, and -

“Wait seriously?” Thorn jumped up eagerly from his spot on the floor. “We can do that?”

Thire’s eyebrows shot straight into his hair. “I ah. Think the Commander was joking, vod.”

“But we could?” Thorn pressed, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet with a huge sparkling grin on his face.

Fox blinked a couple times at his vod’ika with a pit in his stomach. Thorn had to be joking too, didn’t he?

“Cause I had this idea, there’s this song I found that I want to make a routine with Lowkey to and -”

“Isn’t that what the holonet is for?” Thire chuckled.

“Trust me, this would be so much better live! I could - No wait, can’t say. That would be a huge spoiler!”

Both troopers looked excitedly at Fox, and his heart dropped. Kriff. This wasn’t a complication he was prepared to deal with, not today.

“I…” He gulped, trying to stall, trying to think of any way to tell them no, it wasn’t possible, they didn’t have the resources or the time… But it was useless. He couldn’t stand to see their faces fall if he could help it, not after everything the Guard had been through for so long. If they wanted to do something like that so badly he would find a way, he… He could never say no to them. Not with enthusiasm like that, not when they were looking at him like that!

“Sure,” He caved, cursing himself internally as he did. “We can have a… A talent show.”

Thire gasped, Thorn let out a whooping cheer, and Fox had to grin in spite of himself, at least until Stitch snorted from behind him. Fox shot a tired glare back at his CMO, who didn’t look sorry in the slightest, in fact he looked downright pleased. Stitch had to know exactly what just happened in Fox’s head, and this whole self-esteem issue he was constantly pestering Fox about had just taken a turn that his vod’ika couldn’t have planned better if he tried. It wasn’t like Fox could really regret it, though. Thorn had already lit up like a life day tree, sending frantic comms to Lowkey with ideas for their next routine, and Thire wore a thoughtful little grin on his face that Fox could have melted at.

“What are you going to do for it, sir?” Thorn asked suddenly, looking up from the comm he had been typing out.

“I’m not competing,” Fox said automatically.

“Whaaat?” Thorn frowned.

“Why not?” Thire said in bewilderment. “It’s your idea!”

“What would I even do?” Fox exhaled, shaking his head. “I don’t have any special talents.”

“Sure, vod. You just killed the Sith, ended the war and set us all free, that was a normal Benduday,” Thorn snarked.

“That wasn’t all me… And how exactly would I do any of that on stage?” Fox protested.

Thorn opened his mouth to offer up what was sure to be some sort of insane suggestion, but thankfully, Stitch came to Fox’s rescue.

“He told you you could have the show, that’s enough,” Stitch snapped. “I karking swear, if you try to hijack his sleep schedule just to make him prep for some damn act, you’ll be seeing my special talents in the med bay first hand!”

That made the pair of them back off, but it didn’t seem to damper their excitement for the thing, which was good. Fox let out a breath as they shrugged in acceptance and got back to their conversation from before, this time with giddy little grins on their faces.

This… This couldn’t hurt, could it? If the idea was making Thorn and Thire this happy, it would probably be good for the rest of his men, too. Fox wasn’t the only one who struggled, maybe they could all use the boost. He would still make sure it was closed to anyone but the Guard, to be safe, even if the galaxy was nominally safer for them already. Outsiders seeing his vode in the spotlight was still a risk he wasn’t willing to take, but they could keep this small, just celebrate a few of his brothers who he loved so much and remind them of their worth. He could manage that.

Stitch slung an arm across Fox’s back as he started thinking it all through, and Fox automatically pulled him into a hug, letting out a deep sigh.

“It’s a good idea, vod,” Stitch told him softly. “I’m proud of you. You caught yourself, you’re forming better patterns already, that’s progress. But this isn’t going to fuck up your sleep.”

“Someone has to plan all this,” Fox reminded him, but Stitch shook his head as he pulled back to look Fox in the eye.

“Yeah. Someone. Not you,” His CMO told him pointedly, mouth twisting into a wicked smirk. “Either you let me handle this or you go down to one shift a day, don’t try me. We have rights now, thanks to you, so you can’t work more than your doubles or I’ll fucking report it.”

“This wouldn’t be work related-“

“It could be,” Stitch threatened with glee, and Fox let out a half-hearted scoff. That wasn’t even fair. His brothers needed those protections in place, but Fox hadn’t considered how Stitch might use those new laws against him, too.

“Fine,” He bit out. “If you’re sure, but if you need anything, tell me. I should still be involved.”

“It’s your own damn show, you’ll have a role,” Stitch shot back, but his eyes were soft, and Fox nodded. It was settled, then. For better or worse, Fox really was going to kill himself put on the best fucking talent show Coruscant had ever seen.

---

It might have been Fox’s half-baked, sarcastic suggestion to throw the talent show in the first place, but Stitch stayed true to his word and took charge of the whole production so Fox wouldn’t work himself into the ground trying to do it all it himself. He still wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or put off by the help. This really was something he could have handled on his own, he used to pull triple or quad shifts, the doubles were already a massive improvement and adding the show to his plate really wouldn’t have been pushing himself more than he had before. Pointing that out Stitch again later that night, though, proved to be a mistake, as the CMO kindly offered to break his fucking legs and throw the bone knitter off the goddamn Rotundra if he tried to go back on their agreement now… So Fox let Stitch handle coordinating the thing, went to bed, and hardly slept, but at least he tried.

Fox had barely begun his first shift when it became clear word had spread and clones on and off duty all started acting strangely. He had only pictured a small gathering in his head, something held quietly in the barracks or the mess, far from prying eyes, but the more excited vode he encountered throughout the day the less that seemed like a viable option.

Thorn and Lowkey passed Fox as he left the barracks that morning, both of them soaking wet, squelching in their boots and giggling like kriffing cadets. They froze when they saw Fox and tripped all over their promises to clean up the mess before Fox let them go. Only a couple hours later, Lefty’s pet tooka somehow got stuck in a vent in the armory, and when he got her out, she was wearing a miniature version of shock trooper armor. The red paint hadn’t dried yet and was smeared in places on the thin plastoid, but that, at least, was a cute problem. He gave a blushing Lefty a comforting hug once his pet was safe and gently scratched the little tookas head before moving on with his day.

The talent show was farther from Fox’s mind again by the time he was making rounds near the east wing of the building on his second shift. Suddenly he heard noises from a storage room that was supposed to be unoccupied, and panic flared in his gut. He’d heard things like this before. Muffled voices echoed from inside, one of them shouting something indistinguishable, and they sounded like his vode!

All the worst possibilities raced through his head, but they had rights now, he could protect them if someone was trying to hurt them and he would! He would do anything to keep them safe, no matter the cost. Fox drew his twin blasters with his heart in his throat, raced right up to the door and -

The voices started to sing. Fox stopped dead in his tracks.

Theeeeere once was a man come from Sriluur, Say now did he really? A handsome pirate, that’s for sure! All of that’s a lie!

It… It was several voices, echoing loudly through the door now in the otherwise empty hall, all of them clones but… But nothing was wrong. Fox’s adrenaline fizzled at once and he let his hands with the blasters fall at his side. They were just practicing in there, a call and response song like some of them made up back on Kamino in training, nothing that was hurting them. There weren’t even rules against that kind of thing, at least, not anymore.

Hondo Ohnaka, Hondo Ohnaka, Hondo Ohnaka! All of that’s a lie!

Fox shook his head and closed his eyes for a few seconds, letting their little song remind him that they were okay. They did sound good, now that he knew no one was locked in there with a fucking Senator, and some of the lines they made up almost made him chuckle, lessening his nerves. If they had written it themselves, it was a very clever shanty. After a minute or so he trudged off to continue his rounds, but practicing vode continued to catch him off guard through the rest of that shift. By the time he made it back to the barracks he had ran into Pointe with wide eyes and his arms full of bright colored fabric and ribbon scraps, Tree practicing an attempt to make a strange plant disappear for Senator Chuchi, and Crow trying to smuggle no less than six mouse droids out of the Senate halls for who-the-hell-knows-why.

Fox was tired when he finally returned, but before he could make Stitch’s whole kriffing day by collapsing into bed at the end of it like he was supposed to, Thire burst in with a grin on his face that lit up the whole room.

“I found us a venue!” He announced, and Fox blinked at him in bleary-eyed confusion.

“A what?”

“You know that old theater just down the street?”

“The one you just issued eighteen building citations to last week?” Fox said with a raised eyebrow.

Thire rubbed awkwardly at the back of his neck. “Yeeeah… I might have offered to waive those if they can get the violations fixed by Taungsday… And let us use the place that night.”

Fox’s face stayed impassive as he looked at his blushing vod’ika. “…For the talent show?” He asked at long last, and Thire nodded.

“I mean, where were we gonna have it? The mess?”

That had been what Fox was picturing, but… Well, it didn’t really matter to him if the theater paid those fines, just that they fixed their shit, so if this was just as effective he didn’t see a problem with it. Besides, Thire seemed proud, and after seeing so much more enthusiasm today than he expected, maybe being on a real stage would be good for his kih’vode too, at least if the event was still private. They deserved to feel special. They were special. Especially since so many of them really had cultivated great talents, even while stationed here, of all places, where stifling conformity was a matter of survival.

“Good work, vod,” Fox yawned, standing up again and crossing over to Thire over to give him an appreciative hug. “They’ll love that.”

“You think so?” Thire said, letting out a breath and straightening up a bit at the praise.

“Of course,” Fox assured him. He let him go with a pat on the shoulder and sank back down onto his bed. “You’ll have to tell Stitch, though…”

“Will do, sir!” Thire beamed.

Fox smiled as he closed his eyes, even through his exhaustion. He hadn’t expected all this, but it really did feel like the spectacle was needed, somehow. Maybe he should have known, with how long they had all had to keep their individuality hidden away, for safety’s sake. But things were different now, they really were. Even if he was still having a hard time believing it.

Fox found it a little easier to drift off to sleep that night, even if he could have sworn someone was practicing an entire tap dance routine in a nearby room.

---

The day of the talent show came and the old theater was packed. Even knowing how excited his kih’vode were about this, Fox stared around in wide-eyed wonder at the number of them who showed up! Stitch had to half-drag him through the crowd of smiling, laughing Corries, most of them in armor but a few in military dress clothes or civvies or even full costumes that rivaled the worst dressed Senators, towards the judges booth in the center of the room. The rest of the panel, with Thire, Stone, Hound and Rosie, were already gathered there, chatting and laughing as they waited for everyone else to find their seats.

It was slow moving through the crowd though, even with Stitch’s intimidating scowl to cut them a path, since Fox’s kih’vode kept turning to smile at him, laugh, and hug him along the way.

“Commander!” A fresh faced shiny, Zed, grinned up at him with a a sharp salute. “Thank you sir, I - I can’t believe I get to show off my hoverboard tricks! I always saw the holos of the pros on Kamino but I never thought…”

“You’ll do great tonight,” Fox reassured him, giving his shoulder a squeeze that made the kid swell with pride and bounce on his toes. They only made it a few more steps before another trooper tapped on his shoulder.

“I was hoping to catch you, Sir,” The trooper said softly, fidgeting with a piece of flimsi in his hands, and Fox recognized him as Penner. “I didn’t sign up, I don’t think this would be very exciting from the stage but… I’ve been learning origami to give me something to do with my hands when I’m anxious and… I think I’ve gotten good at it,” He explained, blushing a little as he spoke. “I want you to have this one…” He held up the flimsi in his hand and Fox’s eyes widened. What was a flat and fragile sheet just a minute before was suddenly a perfect little Fox.

“That’s incredible,” Fox breathed, and he meant it. He picked up the little fox as gently as he could, looking at the little details, the tiny folds that seemed to fit impossibly together in awe. It was so personal, so heartfelt... ”Thank you, Pen’ika,” Fox smiled. “If you were competing I’d give you ten out of ten.”

Penner looked like he was about to cry. “It’s nothing, you… You saved my life,” Penner whispered, his lower lip wobbling just a bit as he did. “I don’t know if you remember but… But thank you, Commander.”

Fox felt like the air had been knocked clean from his lungs. He did remember, of course he did. Penner had been one of the first men he had been too late to protect… But he wrapped his arms around his brother, drawing him close and taking care to keep the oragami fox cupped protectively in his hand. When they pulled apart, both their eyes were misty, and Penner gave him a watery grin before turning away.

“I hope you’re paying attention,” Stitch said under his breath as he took Fox by the hand again. “See what can happen when you’re not a fucking asshole to yourself?”

“This was mostly your work,” Fox pointed out in a raw sounding voice, but Stitch shook his head.

“Only because you’re still running yourself into the damn ground trying to keep us safe. This was your idea, its happening because you said so and you did it for their sake, don’t you dare deny it!”

Fox didn’t dare. He wasn’t sure why he had said anything about a talent show in the first place, what possessed him to speak those words with hardly the thought in his mind or where they even came from, but he… He wasn’t sorry. His vode needed this, maybe more than he even realized, or maybe he knew but just hadn’t understood it yet.

“How many of them do you think…” Fox started, but trailed off.

“Think what?” Stitch pushed.

“… Need to know they… Matter,” Fox said quietly. “Even if they’re not competing tonight.”

Stitch stopped in his tracks, turning back to him with a solemn, troubled look on his face. “All of them,” He said, without a hint of bluster or sarcasm.

Fox nodded. That’s what he thought, too. “I wish I could tell them all…”

“I know. They would say the same about you,” Stitch told him gently. “Come on.”

A few more hugs and encouraging words later, Thire, Stone, Hound and Rosie all turned to greet him and Stitch as they approached the judges booth. Thire waved him into the centermost seat that they had left open for him and immediately sank into the seat at his right. Stitch paused, giving Fox an odd look and whispering something to Rosie, who nodded her head.

Fox was finding it a little difficult to pay attention to the small talk the others were making. Instead, he traced the edges of the little origami Fox in his hands. After a moment Stitch leaned in to give his shoulder a final squeeze before heading backstage, and Thire scooted closer to Fox’s side, his presence cool and steady.

Something about this night that had started out as a bad cover for a worse joke already felt so important. They’d been wearing the same matching armor and using their numbers instead of names for years for their own protection. He had to make so many stifling rules to keep them safe, even if it wasn’t enough. Everything that they did had been to blend in, to avoid drawing attention to themselves, to make themselves indistinguishable from the next clone so they couldn’t be easy targets, but now…

Now the war was over. They were people. They could stand out, show off, shine… But even if so many of them weren’t ready for that, they deserved to be celebrated, too.

Thire reached out, giving Fox’s hand a quiet squeeze, and he exhaled. He was already proud of them, so proud of every single one of his brothers, wherever they were at on their journey. Then the lights dimmed, the eager voices of his vode that filled the theater quieted in anticipation, and Thorn and Lowkey took the stage in the most ridiculous bright red bedazzled suits Fox had ever seen.

“Olarom, olarom, olarom!” Thorn shouted excitedly in Mando’a to a loud set of cheers, spinning an umbrella around his arm for some reason. “Welcome to the first annual Coruscant Guard Talent Show, vode!”

Fox raised an eyebrow. He never said anything about this being annual.

“Shiny or veteran, Grunt, ARF, Shock troop, Medic, Mechanic, Prison guard, Security, Massiff handlers, Massiffs themselves and anyone else, none of that matters tonight! So forget your test scores, fuck whatever the long-necks thought of you, nobody’s perfect and tonight we get to see some of what you’re all really made of! The good stuff! Like… What do we have tonight, Lowkey?”

“What, besides us? In these gorgeous suits?” Lowkey said lightly, strutting across the stage in the glittery red thing and puffing out his umbrella behind him dramatically to the cheers and cat-calls of the men in the audience. “I’ve got to give credit where credit is due though, our own Commander Fox picked these out special himself!”

That wasn’t true.

“Oh he’s got such great taste, vod, in anything but caf. Still won’t use the cream and sugar we have now, says it’s better black.”

…That part was.

“But actually, this whole night was Fox’s idea, if you haven’t heard!” Thorn continued, and that… Was true too, somehow. Fox was still having trouble remembering he had actually started all this, him and his terrible joke had teamed up to make an event that the whole guard was more excited about than anything he’d seen since the end of the war. Their brothers clapped and hooted their approval of the idea, and Fox tried not to notice how many of them had turned to stare at him just now, but Lowkey chuckled into his mic and shut his umbrella with a crisp snap that got their attention again.

“Well, we better get on with it then, Thorn, or we’ll keep the Commander up past his bedtime.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Thorn asked with feigned innocence.

“I’m afraid of Stitch,” Lowkey hissed under his breath, pointing behind his hand towards the curtains where Fox knew his CMO was standing just out of sight. A single gloved hand popped out from backstage to flip him off.

“Oooh, good point. In that case, Taps! Get your ass out here quick!” Thorn cried, and the pair of them pranced back off the stage, blowing kisses to the crowd to laughter and cheers.

The ARF trooper Taps stepped gingerly out from behind the curtains with a nervous grin on his face. Fox wasn’t sure what sort of act he would be performing, he wasn’t wearing a costume and didn’t seem to have any special gear, but the music picked up and Taps started tap dancing! The irony almost made Fox burst out laughing by mistake, because of course! The tap dancer who he heard the other night must have been Taps! He should have known. The clone wouldn’t have lasted a kriffing day in the Rotundra, not with the nervous habit that earned him his name, so Fox put him on street patrols, which was a much better fit. But he had no idea his vod had turned all that energy into something so rhythmic and percussive and artistic! When the routine came to a close and Taps bowed with a flourish the whole theater broke into applause and Fox held his score card high, a perfect 10/10, smiling ear to ear.

Next up was Tree in a bright green cape he could have stolen off Bail Organa himself and… Likely had, given how the trooper seemed to trust more of the Senators than Fox really appreciated. He took the stage with several of his friends carrying exotic looking plants behind him in big silvery pots, but once the show began Fox was completely mesmerized! The disappearance act he saw him practicing the other night for Senator Chuchi had a Part Two that he hadn’t seen, where the towering fern reappeared on the judges booth! Grizzer flew into a tizzy, barking like mad at the trick, and Fox shot his hand into the air with the 10/10 before the act even concluded.

Every other act was just as outstanding as the one before, from the squad who got the entire crowd to join them in singing the shanty about Hondo Ohnaka to the green-haired Pointe running his piebald massiff Bespin through a series of tricks with colorful ribbons and bows streaming behind her! Guts put on a gorgeous display of his automatons whizzing through the air to music that a music box he built himself played, Coro performed juggling routine that he claimed to have learned by literally jugging up to twelve medical charts at the same time (Fox wasn’t sure if that was a joke, and no one else seemed to know either, but he didn’t mistake Stitch’s barking laugh from behind the curtain when he said it), and Lucky’s graceful and risky sword dance captivated everyone except for the worried medics in the crowd, especially Rosie, who gasped loudly at Fox’s side every time he made a dangerous looking move. She still burst into applause with the rest of them once it was over, relief written all over her face.

Captain Taser’s speed painting was already a beautiful piece of artwork even before he spun the canvas rightside up to reveal he had been painting upside down the whole time , showing off a colorful Coruscant sunrise and adding the sparkle of morning stars with a last few taps of his brush. Later on the twins Kando and Sii’s four-armed General Grievous improv routine had the entire building bursting with laughter, then Zed’s hoverboard tricks sent Stitch rushing onto the stage for half a second before he twisted a miraculous third time in the air and landed his final combo. Lefty’s routine with his Coruscant Guard Shock Tooka melted about half the audience out of pure cuteness, then Xia performed a song in the voices of our judges, which was just their own voice the entire time, but they put on a long yellow wig for “Thorn’s” part and dramatically held a Massiff plushie in the air for “Hound’s”.

Fox was laughing so hard he could barely see by the end of it, so he gave them a 10/10. They all deserved 10/10, they all deserved the whole world, he didn’t even care when Stone elbowed him hard and shook his head at his unchanged scorecard! He couldn’t help it, and he didn’t want to.

He did at least hesitate after the slicer Crow’s reprogrammed mouse droids were revealed to have stolen boots off no less than seventeen troopers in the audience AND Thire himself, apparently working unseen throughout the entire show to amass their collection undetected. Fox shook his head and let out a heavy sigh at that. He really had to keep an eye on Crow. The kind of shit he could get up to, with skills like that… It was concerning, but admittedly impressive. So. 10/10.

“Another 10 out of 10 from our own 1010,” Thorn read off with a hearty laugh from the stage. “What does that make Crow’s total score there, Lowkey?”

“With Thire’s whopping zero, he’s coming in at 21/50,” Lowkey announced, and Crow pouted at the other Commander, making a little heart with his hands and then breaking it, but his eyes still sparkled with the usual mischief.

“Neat trick, but you gotta pick your targets better there vod. Thire holds a grudge!” Thorn said, twirling that umbrella of his in the air with a teasing grin. “Try Fox next time, he wouldn’t fault you tonight if you stole his whole kit right off his shebs!”

A few heads turned his way with good natured chuckles, and Fox blushed a little, fixing Thorn with a glare that had no heat in it at all. It was true, but he didn’t have to say it. Even if, judging by their reactions, everyone else seemed to already know.

“Speaking of Fox,” Lowkey said slowly, and Thorn’s grin widened in a very concerning way. “I thought I heard a little rumor about a last minute addition before the grand finale?”

“Oh, right, we did hear that didn’t we!” Thorn teased, turning his gaze directly on Fox.

Fox abruptly stood from his seat with alarm bells ringing in his head. No, they had talked about this, he wasn't performing! Whatever Thorn had planned wouldn’t happen, he had nothing prepared, but before he could take a single step, Thire and Rosie had brought hands down on his shoulders.

“Usedii, vod,” Thire murmured to him. “This won’t be bad, trust us.”

“I don’t have any special talents,” Fox hissed back. “I already told Stitch-”

“He thought of something, just before he left,” Rosie whispered. “But don’t worry. It’s good, you’ll like it.”

“Commander!” Thorn sang dramatically from the stage, his eyes somehow sparkling even more than that ridiculous suit he was wearing. “I had a whole speech planned about how you’ve been holding out on us tonight, but you had to go and ruin it! With all those big scores you kept turning in and some of what I saw in the lobby before this even began -”

“I’m sorry,” Fox blurted out, absolutely crestfallen at the realization, but of course he had gone and managed to screw up such a wonderful night somehow. He had tried, but something had gone wrong, hadn’t it? Was it because he gave everyone 10/10? Was he a useless judge? He should have just left this to Stitch, he shouldn’t have gotten involved at all -

“Oh my god, Fox,” Thire mumbled under his breath.

“No,” Hound said firmly with a shake of his head.

Fox blinked back up at Thorn on the stage in confusion. His vod’ika looked thoroughly unimpressed at his apology, with just a twinge of amusement tugging the corners of his mouth into a grin, and Lowkey scoffed at his side.

Suddenly, Fox became very aware of all the eyes pinned on him.

“Take a breath, Commander,” Thorn said a little softer than before. A few troopers in the seats began shuffling around in their seats, but Thorn ignored them and continued to talk. “Point is, we know of something you’re better at than anyone else in the galaxy, even if you don’t. So tonight we’re gonna prove it to you.”

Fox narrowed his eyes towards the last place he saw Stitch, that spot behind the curtains his CMO had disappeared to after Zed’s hoverboard act was over, since he was responsible for this, but before he could spot him there Thire reached out and wrapped Fox in a bone-crushing hug. Fox hadn’t expected that but he returned the hug on pure instinct, pulling Thire in protectively and cradling the back of his head.

“What is it?” Fox asked urgently. “What’s wrong?”

But Thire just chuckled affectionately into his neck. “Nothing’s wrong, ori’vod. This is it. Your talent.”

Fox blinked a few times in confusion out at the crowd over his brothers shoulder. More of them were turning around in their seats now, understanding of some sort dawning on their faces and making them grin. Stitch stood at the far end of them all with a gloating glint in his eye.

“You’re really good at loving us,” Thire said, pulling back to look him in the eyes. “And you’re really good at hugs.”

…Oh.

Fox wasn’t even sure how to respond to that. For a moment he just stared back at Thire, processing the words. Of course he loved them, they were his vode, they made it so easy…

“My turn,” Stone said simply, and Thire complied, stepping away so Stone could wrap his arms around Fox instead.

“The war was hard on us all, Fox,” Stone said quietly into Fox’s ear. “But you’ve been our rock. Thank you.”

Fox nodded against his brothers neck, fighting back the lump in his throat. “I… I couldn’t have survived it, without you…” He said thickly.

“Neither could we. I think we all need this,” Stone replied, giving him an extra squeeze before letting go.

Hound stepped up next, whispering a reminder of how sending him to work with the massiffs had changed everything for him, made his life worth living, then ordered Grizzer to jump up and lick Fox straight across the face, making Fox laugh again so he felt a little less like he was on the verge of tears. Then Rosie stepped up, passing off her forearm crutches to Thire to hold as she threw herself into Fox’s arms with a bright, determined smile.

“Thanks for taking me in, ori’vod,” She said jovially. “And for finally sticking to just the two shifts. We’ll keep working on that.”

“Stitch mentioned that to you?” Fox murmured, and Rosie flashed him a sharp look as she let go and Thire passed back the crutches.

“No, that’s common kriffing sense,” She said with a smirk.

Fox didn’t know what to say to that, but before he could take a seat again two more of his kih’vode jostled their way onto the platform, the twin shinies Kando and Sii from the comedy act. Kando opened his arms with a sheepish little grin and Fox caved like wet flimsi, sweeping both of them up into a hug, too. One of them let out a little squeal, as if his heart wasn’t enough of a puddle already. They were sweet kids. A couple seconds later he let go and scruffed both of their hair, but froze as he looked back over their heads and spotted the rest of the crowd.

Almost all of them were out of their seats. What started as a somewhat proper line of his fellow judges was now an amoeba-shaped pile of vode, with Stitch in his white medical officer’s uniform striding up the middle of them all with a face full of absolute triumph. Fox could hardly breathe as his CMO shouldered past the others and marched up the few stairs, clasping a hand on Fox’s shoulder and pausing.

“What are you waiting for?” He said with a wicked grin. “You wanted this. Get loved, moron.”

All Fox could do was nod, and the only way he could tell the next clone who hugged him was Tree was by the bright green cape billowing down his back that definitely belonged to Bail Organa. He didn’t know how much time it took to hug the rest of his brothers and tell them they were loved, and he lost count of how many there were, but if there was anything he could do for them he would, of course he would, especially something so simple as this! The program stayed paused as they all filed through, and Fox put his whole heart into every embrace. Some of the men mumbled kind things to him, like Lefty, some stayed silent, like Guts, and some even managed to make him laugh through the tears, like Crow. He tried to apologize to the ones he knew he had let down before, even if not a single one of them would hear it he had to say it, but the message that came back to him was always the same. He was only one person, he had done his best. They never blamed him. He saved some of them, more than just Penner, and every time he heard that he held them tight for an extra couple seconds before letting them go. His kih’vode meant everything to him, and all he wanted was for them to know it.

Apparently, they did… And he meant everything to them, too.

By the time the last of his family had made their way back to their seats, he had a feeling they had overshot how long their production would take by a while, but it hardly seemed to matter. That was a problem for later on. Stitch brought up the very end of the line with an expression full of compassion and care that Fox still wasn’t sure he deserved. Fox just shook his head in disbelief at his absolutely impossible CMO, and Stitch pulled Fox into the gentlest, warmest hug of the entire night.

They didn’t need words, but Stitch provided them anyways.

“I fucking told you.”

Fox just nodded against his brother’s neck. Stitch had been right about everything… Not that Fox would admit that just yet. If Stitch heard him say that it would go straight to his head and Fox would really would be forced down to just one shift a day. He couldn’t risk that, but he made no move to let go of Stitch again either, even as Thorn and Lowkey finally retook the stage.

“Hey Lieutenant! Something about this doesn’t quite seem fair, does it?” Thorn said with a shit-eating grin, causing most of the vode to turn back to him at once.

“Oh, definitely not. Fox is a judge, he can’t vote for himself,” Lowkey sniggered. “But we can’t let that 40/50 stand, can we?”

40/50? Fox shot a confused glance back down the judges booth to Thire, Stone, Hound and Rosie, and had to stifle an exasperated sigh. He still hadn’t thought they were taking this as a serious act, but all four of them had all gone off and awarded him a perfect 10/10.

“Alas, we cannot!” Thire declared with a sweeping gesture to the crowd. “Looks like we all have to help him out. What do you think? What’s his score?”

Fox could feel the blush rising up his neck and his cheeks as his brothers in the crowd sounded off with whistling and cheering and chants of TEN! TEN! TEN! all around. Really, the hugs were enough, he felt the love and now this was just getting excessive, but after a minute Thorn raised both hands and lowered them slowly to soothe the crowd.

“You got all that, Lowkey?” He asked with feigned innocence. “What’s his final score?”

“Ten thousand one hundred and ten!” Lowkey called out in dazzling confidence.

“Mmm. Yep. That’ll be a tough one to beat,” Thorn mused. “Think we can manage it, vod?”

“Absolutely not!”

“Are we gonna try anyways?”

“Hell yes!”

Music kicked on, both of their umbrellas opened with a snap and suddenly the glittering suits were gone! Instead, the pair of them posed for half a second in skimpy black leotards as their brothers gasped before diving whole-heartedly into the routine Thorn had been so excited about from the start.

When the sun shines, we'll shine together Told you be here forever Said I'll always be your friend Took an oath, I'ma stick it out to the end

Thorn and Lowkey were up there having the time of their life and Fox smiled so hard it hurt! The entire crowd cheered raucously for them, some even singing along with the words that they knew as the pair hit every move in tandem with huge perfect flourishes and over-the-top energy. Then Thire somersaulted off the stage and leap onto the judges booth with a bang in front of Fox! He lip-synced directly at him, holding his umbrella like a mic, dropping low and flipping around his hair with pure, unfiltered joy on his face.

Now that it's raining more than ever Know that we'll still have each other You can stand under my umbrella You can stand under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh

Even Stitch had doubled over at Fox’s side, and Fox laughed so hard at the antics it brought tears to his eyes, happy tears this time, seeing his brothers shine, so full of life and joy. When Thorn jumped back on stage a burst of water rained down on them from above and they danced and stomped in the puddles it made, sending sparkling water and mist into the air as the song hit its climax, then struck a dramatic pose with their umbrellas on the final note.

The theater went wild, Fox included, hollering their praises at the two of them! Thire and Rosie were on their feet, Grizzer spun in circles at Hound’s side, Stone was shouting for an encore and Stitch squeezed Fox’s arm with the hand still slung around his back.

It didn’t matter who won, what everybody scored, or if they all wanted to throw the whole contest for the sake of his own self esteem. He had the best kih’vode in the GAR, with the biggest, most thoughtful hearts and the most incredible talents he could imagine, and he couldn’t be prouder to be their commander. Everyone had needed this tonight, hadn’t they?

Especially him.

Fox looked around the room at their faces with a heart that felt like it was seconds away from bursting. This night truly meant everything to him. He really had thrown the best fucking talent show Coruscant had ever seen, because he had the best family the galaxy could ever know, and he was so glad that he lived to see it.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Credit and thanks for the following OC’s go to my talented pocket friends!!!!!!

Stitch - TooManyTeeth Tree - MagicalStardust Guts - ProwlingThunder Pointe & Bespin - Gracklewarp Rosie - Mira-Starfall Lefty & Lucky - John_in_Art and Wolviecat Kando & Sii - Dragomir and Star from discord! Crow, Penner & Lowkey - My own lil guys, Crow is from my The Lights You Make series, Penner from Brothers Gained Brothers Lost, and Lowkey from Dying Isn't Very Regulation!

Oh! And I HAD to make Thorn and Lowkey dance to Umbrella just like Tom Holland, it was WAY too perfect, and so was the Hondo Ohnaka shanty! Highly recommend checking both these out if you haven't seen them before, 10/10 no notes!

#fox needs hugs #and he gets them #Fox gets soooo many hugs #corrieweek #corrieweek2024 #commander fox #coruscant guard #1010 day #its his day!#commander fox day #happy fox day #he loves his brothers so much #coruscant guard needs hugs #tooth rotting fluff #clone wars fanfiction #OC Corries #My friends are so talented I love them #get loved moron

21 notes · View notes