#girls too can suffer
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Sometimes i will get very in my head about my fics and my characterization but i comfort myself with the knowledge that even if itâs bad at least Iâm adding to the population of fic centered around womenâs angst
#girls too can suffer#if you want me to write good fics about women#you have to accept some of them are going to be terrible im sorry#but iâll take that sword with honor#i also comfort myself with the fact that#a lot of people donât read fics about women#so not that many people are going to read this bad fic anyways#i do actually like my writing#im just at that stage of wip you know what i mean
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george rexstrew deserves awards for many things but i have to say. edwinâs bloodcurdling scream as niko gets killed deserves a whole award unto itself. like. that scream did not feel at all like a tv show scream. to a somewhat jarring degree. and i canât express how much I respect that
#he has a number of very convincing screams and suffering noises which I imagine was an important prerequisite for the role#but this one is just especially chilling and again. jarring. not saying that the other actors are bad or anything but no one even comes#close to competing with george and its stark in moments like this#another screaming moment that I thought he did really well in particular is far easier to gloss over and thatâs#when he and charles are escaping hell and he almost gets dragged down into lust#when heâs screaming out for charles he borderline SCREECHES#throughout that arc in general itâs just incredible but yeah#I think part of what makes it so convincing is that he isnât afraid to be high pitched and genuinely Scream rather than yell#like. he is clearly immune to being put off by âyou scream like a girlâ rhetoric#I think a lot of male actors avoid screaming and screeching like that for that internalized reason when. if you wanna be as realistic as#possible. a scream is high pitched. if youâre scared for your fucking life itâs just involuntary#I can also see it being uncommon due to difficulties getting that sound adequately recorded but yeah anyway you get my point#tldr: george rexstrew is great at disturbingly realistic screaming and I applaud him for that#I really hope he didnât have to retake that part too many times..#his poor throatâŚâŚâŚ.#george rexstrew#edwin#edwin payne#dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives spoilers
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What if acotar antagonists got the same level of justification as our 'heroes' from the Night Court did?
#my art#acotar#acotar fanart#amarantha#prythian's best worst girl#keir#beron vanserra#anti rhysand#posting this on april 1st pls don't take their excuses TOO seriously#is just so silly to me rhys can excuse anything he does with a 12 page monologue and 2 tears#keir can cry the two tears too!#amarantha can give you a choice between doing what she wants and horrible suffering#but it's YOUR CHOICE of course#kinda like 'go die in the human lands or get locked in the house of wind' :)#with beron i'm just indulging myself
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I had a realization that everyone else has probably already had but I need to say it
Robin = Danny
Raven = Sam
Cyborg = Tucker
Starfire = Valerie, maybe??
Beast Boy = Cujo?????
#dcxdp#dpxdc#dc x dp#dp x dc#dc x dp crossover#dp x dc crossover#dc x dp prompt#dp x dc prompt#I say all of this as someone who hasnât seen teen titans:#the leader who probably shouldnât be in charge but is anyway on basis of âI Can Beat All Of You Upâ#the cool goth girl who probably SHOULD be in charge but also is maybe a little bit too happy to see her friends suffer (a little suffering)#the smart techy one who is also the Masculine character /lh (usually) (sometimes)#warm color scheme girl love interest who is good at shooting people#green. can change shapes (at least a little). acts like a dog (at least sometimes). good boy. (manâs) best friend#reiterating now that I havenât seen (much) of teen titans (Iâve seen like maybe three episodes total in my lifetime)
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love poem (typical)
#my writing#my stuff#words#poetry#poems#i doubt that these tags will go anywhere so mainly for archiving purposes#guys (slamming head into table affectionatelyÂĽ) i fear your favorite mr worldwide manwhore is once again In Love#i have this disease where everywhere i go i fall in love with people and then i write about them#what can i help it though sheâs devastatingly lovely#i texted my friend three weeks ago and i was like#i am suffering from an excess of kind beautiful and extremely hot women in my life and she was like#this is a good problem to have. i mean it is also kind of givingâwill hsge to do crazy troubleshooting laterâ#but for now iâm love love and i get to write poems about a beautiful girl so#wahoo! and yipee! and the like#hope love is with all of u too. in every shape. love of friends and lovers and family and all the other things and people
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I am once again thinking about how odysseus who witnessed the horrors that the captured women went through (one of his main duties in the iliad was taking the women back home and making sure they were as comfortable as possible and safe because he was the only one trusted not to violate them further due to his devotion to penelope. And in the odyssey part of the reason circe sent him to the underworld was so that he'd have to listen to all these women's stories (before he could talk to the prophet) ). Who was one of the few that saw women as people and respected their space and opinions. And was then put in those exact same situations. I don't have the motivation right now to do a full literary analysis of this (I'll site the sources too) but oh man one day I'm going to write a full essay on this.
#The odyssey#iliad#Odysseus#Tw: rape#Tw: sex slaves#Tw: camp slaves#Tw: That one time Calypso kept odysseus as a sex slave for 7 years#circe#Something about the inherent trauma of witnessing how your friends treat women#Watching them keep sex slaves#Then having to bring these girls home hearing about their stories seeing the aftermath#Then living in a situation where you have to let a powerful witch use you as she pleases half in payment for lives/food/medicine#Half because she has the equivalent of a gun to your best friends head and if you don't keep her happy then youre all dead#And then that witch sends you on a quest to the underworld where granted you'll benefit too but first#You have to listen to every single captured women from the Trojan war that you didn't Shepard home tell you their stories#Tell you that you're a horrible person while you are living in a disturbingly similar situation#And then later finding yourself trapped as a sex slave for seven years to an immortal nymph#And then being labeled as a horrible cheater for the rest of history#And none of this well historically everybody cheated or it's up to interpretation bullshit#Because it fucking isn't and granted a lot of abridged versions skip this shit#But if you read the full original stories and still think odysseus cheated then you just have an issue with men being victims#Or weren't paying attention i guess#Where's that meme where's it like the text was up to interpretation cut to the text where it very bluntly states what's happening#And I'm not saying odysseus was a good person or that he didn't have slaves because he did. And he wasnt#But first off nobody deserves to suffer that violation#Second they weren't sex slaves they were all nurses/maids/spys and I'm not getting into the ancient culture slavery issues rn#Third there's a lot you can pick to hate odysseus for but cheating/disrespecting women wasn't one of them#They literally invented a new word to describe his and penelopes love and it means to be so in love that you think the exact same way#Also forcing this narrative of odysseus cheating and penelope leaving to be a single girl boss is#Just the fake feminist mindset that stay at home moms are weak and wrong and live awful lives
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fairest of the fair
#hi! im alive and back and etc.#six the musical#six the musical fanart#katherine howard#thinking of that post going 'i think eventually you become the person you needed most' and like maybe that's the thing with my art#this started out as a redraw and <improvement meme> i think i've finally reached the stage where i'm making the things that my younger self#aspired to create. like i can do this now! i've reached That level of technical skill! tiny me would be so proud. it's very gratifying#redraw from august this year actually. i've made a surprising amount of improvement HAHA maybe it was the adamandi stuff getting me#back into digital rendering. i think that obsession has quietly slipped away but yknow. one never truly leaves a fandom. just less intensit#also speaking of old fandoms! we're back with the six stuff haha. as of writing i'm in the midst of blog revamp- figuring out how to chill#multifandom status doesn't mean ditch all the old stuff ! but i do feel much freer and less stressed. i think hiatus has been good for me#notes on this piece particularly: redraw about cutting hair and thinking of the lyric above. also lowkey &j ref + pinterest poem excerpts#of female suffering. and maybe a dash of amanda heng let's walk inspo. this work is really just full of contradictions..#1. the mirror and cutting hair as an act of self liberation 2. the & is part of the lyric but also a nod to &j (in another iteration it was#pink but the white looked better) and like. &j is really all !!! girl power!!! etc. and i was like hmmmm. also matching pink shiny aes#3. the frame as a cage; the mirror as a self reflection idea (ie. saville's propped insp) but also as a sign of vanity. 4. sparkly costume#and pretty pose- read one too many poems about women feeling like they have to be pretty even in their suffering. something i wanted to#explore. and also in 5. the show itself... all you wanna do is. despite all the dancing and pink and sparkly the content of the song is#darker. and even though it's a story of her suffering it's still presented as a shiny fun pop song and ajshdhfhfh ok... 6. the lyrics fall#outside the frame. sort of a caught inbetween. sort of a trapped in the narrative and yet#within the frame it's all. vaguely handwavy breaking free vibes. like i said contradictions?#7. cutting off the long ponytail vs the pull my hair lyric at the end. yeah#8. the blocked off & looks a bit like scissors. positioned to cut right at the neck#anyways yeah irl remains hectic! but if i get around to more doodles they'll appear here :)
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guess which boyfailure just broke down crying in a culver's !!! đđđđđđđ
#đŹ â đđ§ đđŤđđĄđ˘đđđđ'đŹ đŤđđŚđđĽđ˘đ§đ đŹ . . . â§#so im . i have to makeup an online class session right#i have to be on a zoom from 7 pm to 9#and im like cool sure i can do that but i just got out of conditioning and the crew team is going to culvers for fundraising#and like... the zoom wont be that strict right. i can have my camera off probably haha#top ten words spoken before disaster i tell u wtf#girl pulls up to the zoom call#CALLS ATTENDANCE 4 TIMES#btw#atp im in the culvers line tryna order right. she then sets down some rules#camera on. microphone has to be working#okok rudimentary stuff i can work w that right.. haha no then she goes you cant talk or laugh keep ur full face in the frame and NORMALLY t#that kinda sturff wouldnt be a probelm but im over here at culvers being big backed yk so i go ok. no worries ill lock in#so i borrow my friends knockoff airpods and sneak a couple bites in of my cheese curds but like fast sneaky and hand over mouth type shit y#anyways the tags are probably gonna get cut off so ill wrap this up. i suffer through not being able to take a bite of my burger for a good#hour and 20 minutes and thne my phone just fucking dies. after all that#i had to like dodge my friends hands in the air i had to make sure no one was in my camera frame cause girl would regularly check too#that and my lack of sleep for the past three weeks just accumulate to me sobbing in culvers im so paatheicsdafjsdl
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get you a girl who can give you everything
this started a long long time ago when I made a joke about how sega should put ringo in more dresses, and then my friend reminded me that oh yeah!! I can do that instead!!! and then one thing led to another and we joked about punk ringo and I drew that too. using ringo like a dressup doll is so cathartic it's kinda crazy
some bonuses (original designs, timelapse) under the cut bc I like these designs!! I might do some more with them!! please disregard the band poster in the first second of the timelapse that's something else!!!
#everyone look at my girl isnt she so pretty#puyo puyo#ringo ando#my stuff#please look at the timelapse it nicely packages a week of suffering into a minute :)#you cant tell at all from the recording. but all those teeny tiny scallops on ringo's dress? i drew all of those by hand#because the scallop brush i downloaded didnt look right. it never does why do i have that#plus the lace cutouts on the bottom i also drew by hand because i wanted them to look kinda like bunches of apple seeds#but thats not really a thing you can search for- 'lace brush that looks like apple seeds' is wildly specific#there's probably an identical brush to what i painstakingly drew by hand but dont tell me about it i want to think i did that for a reason#punk ringo on top was a lot less work on the lineart bit except for that godforsaken guitar#i had to make sure it looked right and it took forever#but what punk ringo gave me the most trouble with was posing#i knew i wanted an arm out to mirror lolita ringo but thw initial draft was meant to be her holding the guitar the opposite way she is now#(as in her hand was gonna be backwards)#and do you know how hard it is to balance a guitar like that. i had to grab my guitar and do a photoshoot to see what was most natural#while still having leg up arm out#this was fun to do even if i had about three crises in the middle of it#i tried doing my old rendering style again after a while and it was fun too#lolita ringo gave me a bit of trouble in the fact that my brain couldnt handle the dress being shaded but the apples being flat#but we got it lmao. i dont know if ill ever do this again it took too long#but maybe half of the time was because suddenly halfway through everybody needed my help for something or other that required me to leave#anyway wow thats enough rambling. i should go to bed now
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Immediately forgets everything that happened in June. Uh. I threw a tea party! Finished a knit hat! Did one (1) queer corvid piece! Started playing baldurs gate! Read some good books! SAW SOME SANDHILL CRANES!!!! Found new enrichment in the form of a new walking route! A busy busy month! Didn't read as much as I intended, but I did get to check off five more books on my Reading Books I Own chart so I call that a win.
The Adventures of Amina Al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakranorty âââââ- WHAT A FUN BOOK! "Adventure" is the perfect word for this. Yes, it's a trilogy with only one book out, but this also works so well on its own, as individual books SHOULD! It's its own little thing. Wrapped up neat and tidy with little threads to pick up in the future. I had so much fun and the audiobook was a DELIGHT, I want to read it again immediately.
The Novice by Taran Matharu â- This has been sitting on my shelf since its release. It moved homes with me. It will not be doing so again. Bland, generic, poorly written. Proof just because you were an internet success, doesn't mean you don't need an editor. Also proof that publishing is about Luck and Connections. I know goodreads ratings mean Nothing, but come on. Why is this one so high. Did people really enjoy it that much? HOW??
Translation State by Ann Leckie ââââ- Okay. Look. This was not my favorite Leckie novel. In fact it very well could by me least favorite Leckie novel. HOWEVER. Even then, it was still fun and enjoyable. I wish it ended differently, but I still loved all the characters and how they interact. I do want to reread this as well, because I remember enjoying Ancillary Justice more the second time around and I wonder if the same will happen here.
What Moves The Dead by T Kingfisher âââââ - A reread! To get ready for What Feasts At Night! Even knowing all the secrets, it's still a perfectly bite sized creepy read. My favorite thing about Kingfishers writing is how even with the darkest subjects she still manages to add humor. And it never seems out of place! It's a great breather for the reader but doesn't detract from the tension. Do not recommend reading this while walking through a field of bunnies.
What Feasts At Night by T Kingfisher ââââ - I gave What Moves The Dead four stars at my initial read through, so I wonder if this will ALSO change to five stars upon rereading. I had to read the first few chapters twice for them to stick, and ended up switching to the audiobook which was very well done. I really didn't expect another book about Alex Easton, but I'm hooked now to be honest. I mean, stop putting this soldier in Situations, but also. I want to know what other Situations ka gets into. Angus and Miss Potter are adorable.
The library has a few summer reading games with prizes so my reading in the upcoming months will be influenced by those. Someone said there might even be a local bookstore gift package in the mix and I Want That. I do still want to do the Bone Season updated read, if for no other reason than to get rid of those books so I don't have to pack and move them. Other than that, no reading plans. I've read nearly every book that's on the shelf in my bedroom, which, wow, so it's getting harder to choose what to read. I guess that's a good thing! Leaves more room to reread old favorites.
#bookbird babbles#reading wrap up#monthly wrap up#june wrap up#books#booklr#i dont want to get rid of the bone season books bc theyre the og hardbacks with the GOOD covers#but honestly. i like the anniversary editions so much better#those white covers though......oof lmao#but like. if the book is Bad then who cares lmao#i could probably sell them tbh#i know theyre in high demand in the fandom#or were five years ago#i think the fandom has kind of given up bc it takes so long for each book to come out#and i mean. authors dont owe us anything and all that but.#girl.#ten years since book one released and youre not even halfway through your seven book series#....maybe you are#four books are out?#STILL YOU GET MY POINT#grrm behavior and that is NOT a compliment#anyway. it was an okay month#neighbors suck my health sucks the weather sucks#but the tea party fucked we killed that one#oh also i gave myself a terrible haircut the other night#chop chop!!!!!#my moms like why dont you just go to a professional and i said because im not paying 30$ for them to cut off two inches LMAO#stylists work hard but im broke thanks#ill suffer an uneven haircut for a while if it means i can do other things like buy a silly little boba#id like to dye it soon too and now that all the old blond is gone i should be safe lol
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A lot of people are missing that this whole situation is basically Daemyra's midlife marriage crisis. Their honeymoon stage is over, shit hit the fan, things got real, things got heated, they had their first major fight, they split apart for some space (well Daemon did), and now they're seeking connection and support and intimacy from other people, because they're struggling terribly alone. Mysaria and Alys are those other people. However, the elephant in the room is that they desperately need to talk to each other and work out their problems, like everyone has been urging them to, but they've been avoiding doing so like it's the damn plague. They'd rather twist and untwist themselves into knots that admit they need each other. But make no mistake: they will reconcile, it's just going to take a minute.
#it's definitely going to be the last episode#because the writers like to see us suffer#but i've survived three divorces before#i'm a tough girl i can handle it#(lord you know i'm not your strongest soldier#please give your child some respite đđ)#but clearly both my parents are struggling rn#people think it's just daemon and that rhaenyra couldn't care less about him anymore#but y'all are just projecting your indifference or dislike for him unto her#he clearly means a lot to her still otherwise she wouldn't be this bothered#they're just too stubborn to reconcile yet#daemyra#daemon x rhaenyra#rhaenyra x daemon#rhaenyra targaryen#daemon targaryen#house of the dragon#house of the dragon s2#hotd#hotd season 2
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My soul is puny.
Alt text: Screencaps from Revolutionary Girl Utena with overlaid text. 1: Young Saionji watches in horror as Touga opens the coffin in the church. Text: At the core, you're a very banal person,
2: Closeup of young Saionji clutching his head and screaming. Text: with a very small soul.
3: Closeup of Saionji's empty hands when he drops his sword after hurting Touga. Text: One you should be *ashamed* of.
4: Touga and Saionji's silhouettes as children at kendo practice. Touga is holding Saionji's hand and Saionji is looking up at him. The background is a warm sunset. Text: It's no wonder the soft one doesn't want it back.
5: Touga's silhouette standing by the incinerator. Text: It was right to abandon you... End alt text
#revolutionary girl utena#disco elysium#shoujo kakumei utena#saionji#touga#this one goes out to daisy and all the other saionji posters#go vote for him in the green hair and pronouns bracket#but yeah. waves my hand in inarticulate emotion at this episode#tfw someone you love is suffering unimaginable pain and you are a child who literally canât imagine it#so you grow up with this feeling that your soul is too small and banal to comprehend that pain or soothe it#and instead of trying to reach out and bridge the gap and expand your soul a little#you let it curdle into something SO despicable.#and yet the desire to understand and fix everything remains despite it allâŚ#[slaps him upside the head] this guy can fit so many problems and issues
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Prompt: âI donât like them; I can barely tolerate them.â for Abarai Renji. Once again, I leave it up to you what you wanna do (but maybe enemies to lovers) Yes, I might be on a little Bleach binge right now but it's okay you like it. kiss kiss
*hides face* ok, ok, ok, hear me out, let's pretend i didn't take *insert accurate length of time here* and say i wrote this in a few days. i am so sorry i took forever and ever with this but as u know i can only give u top quality work or else i'll never forgive myself. renji is.......well *motions to him* yk how that man is, he made me suffer!!!! in a good way!!! but still i suffered!!! yk how much i love enemies 2 lovers u big brained beauty đ¤ so ty babyâ¤ď¸ď¸ also this is my first renji fic and i can't belev it.
5.2k words (don't look at me, just don't), fem reader, nsfw, 18+ mdni, enemies 2 lovers, angst city, angst angst city biiiitch (yk the vibez babey), smut obviously, no fluff bc who do u think i am? feat. renji being a mean petty bitch (i guess that makes him a mean dom maybe yes), sub reader bc that's what i want; there's a party with alcohol, ichigo and co. make brief appearances, bathroom sex, choking (he's sf romantic), a lot of cursing bc they're grown that's why, renji is a beast when he's jealous, reader is a lil bit of a brat but lbr who wouldn't be in that situation; mutual ""unrequited"" pining, lots of tension, fingering, rough (consensual) sex, lil bit of degradation, lil bit of a size kink, lil bit of praise kink, idk there's probably more stuff but i'm so tired rn i can't think; um renji obviously comes w his own gd warning; reader is determined to not let this man win but, hello, it's renji he always comes out on top wink wink. (if u see spelling errors/mistakes no u didn't hottie)
âwhen i write about all of this it becomes its own kind of violence. / i retell the story as myth, as if it were my own body devoured.â â caitlin scarano & âso much of love is violence. the desire / to be split open, invaded, mangled / and made new.â â erin slaughter
HATRED X TASTES X SWEET
youâve never been cut out for this line of work, but your insistence on eliminating all your shortcomings is commendable. brave, even. itâs something you donât really think about unless you want to spend the night half-drunk, rambling about the things you shouldâve done but never had the courage to do.
like telling a certain red-haired, bullheaded lieutenant that heâs the most ridiculous and excessively arrogant man youâve ever come across. all in all, youâre pretty sure telling him off wonât phase him; nothing ever does, not really anyway.
at first you try politeness; your grandmother would be proud of how well youâve learned to bite your tongue. itâs ungraceful, but you fake it well enough that others think your emotional maturity is far above theirs. little do they know, you actually have to literally bite your tongue; simply remaining silent isnât easy for you anymore. so, when you bite, itâs with rage, months of unshed tears and accumulated spite; you bite your tongue so hard you bleed more every time.
your unsaid words bunch together â tiny soldiers determined to strike in unison without fail â and sit heavily in the back of your throat, ready to launch forward at your command.
but you never say them, and you choke more than once; an unbearable shame to carry with you as he continues to slash at your patience, thin ribbons cascading off you like confetti. you wonder if your anger will lead to your deathâ or if itâll lead to his. you intend to keep all of that hidden, though, and keep reminding yourself that eventually he will tire from berating you, from talking to you as if youâre the most incompetent being in all of soul society, from looking at you like your very being disgusts him.
thatâs what you tell yourself these days. you like to conveniently ignore the way his dark eyes linger on yours during meetings â youâve noticed that people have taken to describing them as soulless, cold and critical, unimpressed at everything and anyone.
but you see him â all of him; the raw, feral, powerful and severe side that not many have the misfortune of knowing. they think they get the real version of renji whenever they deal with him, but they never do; you know that now. you doubt itâs even intentional on his part, or maybe â just maybe â he really does hate you.
to put it plainly, as youâve told rukia and rangiku, the sixth division lieutenant has the biggest fucking chip on his shoulder. despite the walls he continues to put up to keep others from carving out a place for themselves in his life, despite the way his words roll around his mouth, clumsily coasting down the length of his tongue before they pierce the air around you with their toxicity â youâre tired of the way he purposely singles you out time and time again to point out your inadequacies without remorse.
abarai renji is also sick of dealing with you. whenever he thinks heâs found a means of scaring you off, you scurry right back more determined and more obnoxious than ever. which is rich, coming from him.
he claims youâre inconsequential, a nuisance â a pest, even â one that he intends to get rid of permanently. itâs harsh and heâs more than aware of that, but he finds that this is the most appropriate solution to his problem. he could easily ignore you; he could try to keep his comments to himself and try to be somewhat cordial whenever you cross paths. but he wonât. and he has no damn idea why.
âno, no come in, i have plenty of snacks for everyone.â
rukiaâs voice is a constant in his life that heâll always be thankful for. he watches her glide into the room, grinning at the friends sheâs invited over, her laughter like soft bells that is easily recognizable even with all the conversation happening. when he feels his chest constrict, an uncomfortable, yet familiar warmth stretching over his skin, he decides to drink so that he can ignore the sensation and forget.
a feeble attempt, because he knows how this will all end â with him drunk off his ass in an even worse mood than he started.
mouth opening, renji prepares to tell rukia to get better sake, when rangiku leads you into the living room where heâs lounging comfortably. the bottle in his hand grows heavier by the second and suddenly heâs not very interested in drinking anymore. already, his foul mood from earlier returns, and every step you take only fuels his irritation; it bubbles underneath his skin, making him frown and grip the bottle tighter.
you donât need to look at him to know that heâs glaring at you â he always is. rangiku feigns obliviousness as she encourages you to go make yourself comfortable while she fetches snacks with rukia. you stare at both of them, wide-eyed, confused â a pleading look sliding onto your face after a few moments, but they assure you both that theyâll be back shortly.
with a sigh you sit on the armchair adjacent to him, determined to just remain quiet in the hopes that heâll just ignore you for once. sitting up straight, discomfort finds its way to the pit of your stomach, swirling around as you fidget with the bracelet around your wrist. his eyes watch your movements with an obsessiveness that startles him; thereâs no reason why he should be interested in the shape of your fingers, thereâs no reason why he should be interested in the way you keep brushing stray curls away from your face, and thereâs no reason why he should be interested in possibly fucking you when he knows for a fact that he is absolutely uninterested in you.
his disinterest runs so deep it spoils the taste of the sake, but he takes another swig anyway. the alcohol burns as it travels swiftly down his throat, and it just so happens that you glance over at him â innocuous, an attempt to gauge his annoyance level â as his throat bobs and your mouth dries at the sight.
you turn your face away quickly, a traitorous flush crawling slowly along your skin, unjustly warming your cheeks. inhaling deeply, you do your best to will the blush away to no avail. where the hell are rukia and rangiku? surely it canât take that long to grab snacks. youâre tempted to go find them, but you have a sinking feeling that it would turn you into a coward.
and you refuse to give that man any more ammo against you.
ITâS X (NOT) X YOU
what initially starts as a small get-together, quickly turns into a party; leave it to rangiku to liven things up, her laughter infectious and whimsical, flitting about like a persistent hummingbird as she encourages everyone to play drinking games with her. experience taught him better than to engage because despite his high tolerance, thereâs really no beating rangiku when sheâs on a roll.
but when you emphatically agree to play with the rest, fury rises in his chest; your audacity, it seems, knows no bounds â and, yes, he understands the hypocrisy in his critique. he just doesnât care.
the games are every bit as simple and ridiculous as you thought theyâd be, but as everyone seems to be in relatively good spirits, you play along. not normally competitive with things like this, you get into the swing of things when you win round after round.
cheers resound nearby at your success, but throughout the evening, you feel renjiâs stare and do everything in your power to not give in and look back at him. a tough feat to say the least, as you are always acutely aware of his presence; and when you do happen to sneak another glance, his legs are spread and you curse under your breath for finding that attractive.
foolish, you chide, so fucking foolish.
renji sucks his teeth as he feels a heaviness in his head; groaning loudly he swirls around what little sake he has left in his glass before finishing it.
âyou lose again,â rukiaâs voice is soft and teasing, but heâs annoyed and canât be bothered with talking to her right now. she pats his shoulder gingerly before standing up to head to the kitchen. his mind is a mess and he blames you for it completely.
âi donât fucking care,â he says gruffly to her retreating figure, not bothering to elevate his voice as heâs sure she heard him. and he really doesnât care; heâs trying to tell himself to calm down, but he canât.
the fault completely lies with you â of course it does, everything you do agitates every cell in his body. the reason is simple, and he hates that he doesnât want to admit it â heâs so undeniably attracted to you that it pisses him off. he takes in your appearance for the twelfth time that night, admiring the softness of your cheeks, the fullness of your lips, the way you seem entirely too animated as you laugh at someoneâs lame joke â and yes, he can tell itâs not funny from how your laughter dies down after a few seconds.
if he had better sense, heâd stop looking at you, but he canât now; he might blame the sake for this later.
the intensity behind his gaze is enough to bring an inextinguishable heat along your skin. itâs only unpleasant because it travels down to your lower abdomen and brings about an agonizing ache between your thighs. at first, you do the sensible thing and ignore it; but the longer he stares, the more you want to look over, until finally you canât take it anymore.
âiâll be back,â you mumble to the other guests, although you doubt they hear you with how rowdy everyone is being; the noise isnât unwelcomed, the distraction serves to mask your footsteps when you scurry from the living room to the back corridor, turning corner after corner until you find the bathroom.
a coward â thatâs what you are.
you barricade yourself in there without thinking, heart pounding loud enough to disorient you. after several long minutes, you splash water on your face and take a few deep breaths.
âi canât believe i ran away,â your voice is so soft you barely hear the words â almost as if youâre still in disbelief over the entire situation. thereâs something off about renji tonight; the tension between you was more palatable and tangible than normal.
even though you feigned nonchalance as best as you could, there were so many moments where you couldnât help but watch him too. pitiful. absolutely pitiful. thereâs no excuse for it, and yet you struggle to find one anyway.
as you look at your reflection in the mirror above the sink, you try to convince yourself to head back out there. sooner or later, people will realize that youâve gone missing â and rangiku is nosy enough and like a bloodhound when sheâs drunk. your time is incredibly limited now.
thereâs no reason for you to continue to avoid the inevitable, so you sigh and give yourself a small pep talk before heading back outside.
TRUTH X OR X âŚ
renjiâs mood doesnât improve at all; in fact, it worsens the moment ichigo sits right next to him. heâs not even sure why this sets him off, but even closing his eyes and counting backwards does nothing to keep him calm.
with slight difficulty, renji grits out, âwhat do you want?â
undeterred, ichigo stares at renji pointedly, voice steady as he says, âyou could go after her, you know.â
again, renji sucks his teeth loudly, arms folded against his chest, right leg bouncing slightly as he taps his foot on the floor. punching ichigo would be pointless, and then rukia would get involved and he doesnât have time to deal with the fallout from that so he keeps his hands to himself.
besides, his anger is obviously misdirected right now. he knows â he knows âbut he doesnât care, so he doesnât mince his words when he responds with, âgo after who?â through his peripheral, he can see ichigoâs patience has also reached its limit.
âyouâre not that stupid, so stop acting like it.â
normally, renji would take the opportunity to mes s around and argue back and forth, but he might actually fight his friend if he doesnât walk away. so, he does; abrupt and without looking back, footsteps heavy on the hardwood floor.
maybe he just needs to change his approach with you, maybe talking things out would work in his favor; or maybe he needs to fuck you hard enough to purge you from his mind.
he lies to himself when he considers the first option, because itâs the second option that drives him to walk a little faster, head full of impossible thoughts as he wonders just how far youâd let him go.
when renji finally finds you, youâre in the middle of rebuffing the advances of an unfamiliar guest â theyâre drunk, handsy, and keep oscillating between giving you cheesy pick-up lines and berating you for rejecting them. but you stand firm, and your voice is relatively loud when you tell them, âfor the last fucking time, go away.â
under normal circumstances, renji would let you handle this yourself; he has no desire to play prince charming or be a knight in shining armor. youâre more than capable, and heâs seen the way you fight and argue to defend yourself â but, itâs when they place a wandering hand on your hip that he loses sight of all of that.
a brief moment passes, where your blood boils as you contemplate how best to kick their ass, but you never get the chance. a rather large shadow hovers over you both, but you already know who it is without having to look properly.
renji is a force to be reckoned with on a good day, but heâs at his fucking limit right now.
he doesnât ask, doesnât give any options for retreat, doesnât say a word when he yanks them off with a brute strength that surprises even you.
now, can he really be blamed for throwing them into the neighboring wall hard enough to make a noticeable hole? and is it really his fault that the drunk can hardly walk as they clutch their broken arm while murmuring something unintelligible, something that renji takes as a sign of them wanting a repeat demonstration?
consequences be damned, he gives the drunk a lethal look before they scramble away in fear.
âloser,â he says loud enough for them to hear, but they donât double back or even try to go toe-to-toe with the hot-headed lieutenant. you watch, half-amused and half-impressed with the unnecessary machismo, but still, you know better than to chastise him right now, especially when your heart sputters out of control from his proximity.
ââŚthanks,â you say, a faint flush on your cheeks, voice soft, head fuzzy when you realize that renji â aka mr. âiâll fight you on everything any day of the week unprovoked for no reason other than to drive you crazyâ â saved you. unprompted at that.
you make the mistake of looking up at him, your nerves prompting you to take a small step back when you realize that the usual hostility that renji reserves for you specifically is nowhere to be found. in its place is something more unreadable â or, rather, you donât want to read into it for fear of being wrong.
renji steps closer, which makes you back up again until your back hits the wall and youâre no longer able to escape.
âwe need to talk,â he says suddenly, but you shake your head, non-verbally objecting to the idea, curls bouncing wildly with your exaggerated movements. since he knows heâs pressed for time, he grabs your face with his large hand and stops you from moving. âthat wasnât a request.â
swallowing rusty nails would be better than dealing with your conflicting feelings over renji right now, because heâs much too close to you and now youâre forgetting why it is you hate him in the first place. ironically, heâs in the exact same position. so far, heâs acted on impulse over you more times than he can count tonight, but he supposes thatâs to be expected â you are a wildcard, after all.
âwhat if i donât want to.â your response is clumsy, the words tumbling one after the other. âwhat if i want you to leave?â you donât actually mean that, but you throw it at him anyway, to see if maybe this was all a fluke, and maybe, just maybe heâll remember himself and you both can go back to fighting like usual.
he considers your question, goes so far as to release your face to wrap his hand around your throat instead. your sharp inhale and parted lips tell him all he needs to know.
with a slightly raised brow, he asks, âwell, do you?â
because if you do, heâll walk away right now. but he knows what your answer will be, he just has to drag it out of you. he squeezes your neck to remind you to hurry it up, and before you can answer him properly, he places his leg in between yours, pressing close enough that you roll your hips forward while whimpering softly.
he really didnât think any of this through, but luckily the adrenaline from it all wonât wear off anytime soon, so heâll improvise along the way. he spent most of the night dealing with a semi-hard cock that wouldnât listen to reason no matter how many times he tried to stop thinking about you. but now? all of that restraint goes out of the window, and before he can question it, he kisses you.
youâve kissed plenty of people in your life â some good, most were mediocre and uninspiring â but renji actually takes your breath away. everything about him commands all your attention; from the way his lips move against yours greedily, leaving behind burning kisses that make your nipples harden underneath your clothes â to the way he thrusts his tongue in between your plush lips, licking inside of your mouth hotly, igniting an inextinguishable flame deep inside of you.
he grabs your hip with his free hand, squeezing hard, fingers digging firmly. all the irritation from earlier dissipates completely, leaving you feeling lightheaded and needy; you grind against him recklessly, arousal dampening the front of your panties, clit sensitive as it rubs against the delicate fabric. his cock presses against you â thick, long, and hard â and you wonder if this is why heâs so angry with you all the time.
was it always that simple?
if you asked the question aloud, he wouldnât know what to tell you â itâs a combination of things, but mostly heâs an idiot; he knows that now, but likewise youâre an idiot too. you just donât realize it yet.
itâs renji who pulls away first, lightly panting, breath warm against your lips as he releases his hold on your neck. he doesnât know where he finds the strength to string together a coherent statement, but his voice is low and husky when he speaks. âanswer my question.â
you blink at him, completely in a daze, lips slightly swollen from all the kissing. âwh-what?â you donât remember what he asked you, and you donât care.
âdo you want me to leave?â
for some reason, you completely forgot that you told him that. you rub your lips together and run your hands along his chest. âno.â the answer comes out automatically, without hesitation, and thatâs all the encouragement he needs.
âgood.â
SAY X IT X LOUDER
he picks you up with ease, almost as if you weigh nothing; a small squeal spills out of you as you wrap your legs around his waist, and renji gives you a sly smile â one laced with mischief and an unspoken promise of whatâs to come.
youâre back in the bathroom again, this time sitting on the counter with renji standing in between your legs. his hands coast along your curvy hips and down your thighs. heâs touching you but heâs not touching you and itâs driving you crazy.
with hurried, eager hands you both undress, and for the umpteenth time you internally curse this style of uniform; still, it doesnât take too long before his hands are on you again, calloused palms rough and warm against your skin. he places a kiss on your jaw, then another on your neck right underneath your earlobe; each kiss he leaves behind distorts your common sense, makes you feel irrational and impatient. your hands are soft and well-practiced, stroking his stiff cock as his hips jerk forward from your touch.
he canât remember the last time someone had him this worked up, which pisses him off a little; because that means him fucking you once wonât settle things. at that thought, renji bites your neck and your startled yelp quickly morphs into a moan when he runs his tongue along the mark. he dips his hand in between your thighs, rubbing his thick fingers against your slit. a loud banging on the door has you looking over, and you canât remember if he bothered to lock it once you both were inside.
your attention nearly falters, but when he pinches your clit you buck your hips, a shiver shooting down your spine at the slight pain.
âeyes on me,â is all he says, seemingly annoyed that you would dare to focus your attention elsewhere, âalways keep them on me.â what he means by that, he doesnât know, but you take the command at face value and nod while swallowing. he slides a finger inside of your wet pussy, and while you initially wanted to keep quiet to avoid suspicion and to prevent anyone from intruding, but you canât now.
ârenji,â you breathe, fingers trembling as you hold onto the counter for support, he thrusts his finger in and out, quick and hard, before inserting another. you clench around him, hips rocking forward as he fingerfucks you and grinds his palm against your clit. you close your eyes and moan louder than you mean to, chest heaving, thoughts jumbled and incoherent. he scissors his fingers inside of you, but quickly removes them without prompting.
âfuck!â you open your eyes again and stare at him in disbelief. âwhy did you stop?â
he laughs darkly and grabs your face roughly, fingers pressing into your soft skin without remorse. âwhat did i tell you earlier?â everything about this situation is laughable. he gave you very specific instructions, ones he thought were easy enough for you to follow. for some reason your movements are sluggish, mind in a haze as you scramble to remember but nothing comes to mind.
as you open and close your mouth, looking every bit as adorable as you are alluring, he decides to show you a bit of kindness.
âget down.â his command comes swift, his patience practically nonexistent; precum glides down the head of his thick cock, but he ignores it for the sake of teaching you a lesson. you donât bother waiting for him to repeat himself and slide off the counter. âturn around.â
like a doll, your movements are dictated by renji with simple, short statements. nothing about that phases you, though; itâs all very exciting, so when you do turn to face the counter, you bend forward and lean over the counter. renji admires the roundness of your ass and slaps it hard.
again, you find yourself moaning loudly, without shame and not caring about the volume of your voice. surely the others wonât pay attention, as theyâre still very drunk and are entertaining themselves with more games. another slap on your ass has you grabbing onto the counter again, legs shaking, arousal dripping between your thighs in anticipation. if renji doesnât fuck you soon, you might actually die.
he knows heâs taking too damn long, but itâs much more interesting making you work for him. he rubs the tip of his cock against your puffy pussy, gliding it in between your slick folds, your moans sweetly wrapping around him once he pushes inside of you slowly. someone bangs on the door again, making you look over, anxiety quickly filling your head with unnecessary what ifs that almost command your full attention.
with narrowed eyes, renji grabs onto your hair, curls soft in his hand, and yanks hard.
âthe fuck did i say earlier?â
goosebumps travel down your arms as a different kind of awareness and clarity surges through you quickly. you blink at your reflection, watching the way he towers over you, his muscles hard and defined â sculpted from years of training and dedication to honing his skills. it hits you then, what heâs really asking you.
âto,â you swallow thickly, throat dry, âto keep my eyes on you always.â you say it all in one breath, gasping when he runs his tongue along the curve of your ear. you donât know how much more you can take, but you know if you complain, if you say anything he might stop altogether.
renjiâs smile is wicked and dark, his lips graze your earlobe, voice deep and gravelly, a huskiness that wasnât there before as he thrusts into you, burying his cock deeply.
âgood girl.â
he refrains from kissing you properly, instead pushing you down so you can lean over the counter again. your mind melts from it all, and youâre panting, heart beating faster and faster as he firmly places a hand on your back.
âyouâre squeezing me so tight,â he remarks thoughtfully, although you note the slight strain in his voice; as much as he tries to act like heâs not that affected by you, you know that isnât the case at all. your pussy is every bit as enticing and heavenly as he knew it would be; he pulls back and slams his cock into you all over again, filling you completely. you try to keep watching him in the mirror, but heâs fucking you like heâs angry with himself for being so attracted to you.
and he absolutely is. itâs a truth he fought against for so long that heâs given up on denying it now. your moans drip onto his skin like caramel, sticky and sweet, and when you say his name like that â your voice going higher and higher from the ferocity of his thrusts â he nearly loses his mind.
âfuck,â he says out loud, grabbing your hip roughly, your wetness coating the length of his cock, âyouâre taking me so well.â he knows you canât really answer him, and he likes that; youâre beyond caring at this point, instead focusing on the way his cock reaches a spot that has you bouncing your ass and fucking yourself against him. normally, renji would play around and edge you in retaliation, but heâs too far gone, completely under the spell of your pretty pussy, with how soft and tight it is.
youâre not sure how you got here, but youâre drowning in ecstasy right now. he instructs you to lift your leg to rest it onto the counter, pulling out momentarily to help you position and spread your legs further apart. he plunges his cock into you again, keeping his hips closer as he gives you shorter, frenzied thrusts. your head spins and you canât think straight, but that doesnât matter. all you care about is the way renji is angling his hips, rolling them forward to pound into your cunt roughly, balls heavy as they smack against your ass.
âoh, oh, oh.â you swear your life flashes before your eyes, because something possesses him, his strokes shorter, brutal, and frenetic. drool slides down your chin, your voice hoarse from how loud youâve been. youâre sure someoneâs heard you by now, but you donât care.
how can you?
with renji fucking you like this â merciless and possessive, fingers brusing your skin, almost as if he wants to make sure youâll be as obsessed with him as he is with you â your common decency, your morals, everything that makes you you, they donât exist.
all thatâs left is this burning desire to let him have his way with you for as long as he wants. thankfully, you have enough sense to not admit that out loud; who knows what kind smugness youâll be subjected to if renji knew.
but youâre pretty damn transparent about it, he can tell from the way you canât stop clenching your pussy around his cock, from how your pussy makes loud, lewd squelching noises â ones that heâll commit to memory so he can revisit them from time to time.
tears roll down your cheeks and you sob as you hold onto the counter as best as you can, back arching, hips rocking against him with a neediness you never knew you had. thereâs a tightening in your stomach and your pulse skyrocketing as a flash of white practically blinds you. he watches the way your pussy keeps swallowing the length of his cock, and you finally fall over the edge, orgasm suffocating you with its intensity.
your cunt flutters around him, gummy walls soft and hypnotic, an addiction he never thought heâd have; breathing heavily, his muscles tense and renji groans something that suspiciously sounds like your name. the thought alone makes your face burn and warms your chest in a way that doesnât make sense. and when he finally cums, he humps into you, cum thick and hot as it spills inside your pussy, mixing with your slick wetness. a completely messy affair, but he doesnât care â itâs not his bathroom, after all.
legs trembling, youâre limp and incapable of movement, whimpering and whining until he finally pulls out of you.
renji runs a hand down his face, feeling spent but more than satisfied. suddenly his shoulders arenât so tight and tense, and his mood is much more tolerable. you do your best to stand but almost fall â your legs are useless, turned to jelly because of the man behind you. he chuckles at that, then clears his throat once he realizes. he fully expected there to be a moment of awkwardness after, but it never comes. when he sees your face â lips bruised and swollen, face flushed, eyes glazed with a faraway look â he feels compelled to kiss you again. so, he does. itâs not sweet, nor is it tender, but it still makes your heart swell all the same. he holds you close as you wrap your arms around his neck, doing your best to keep standing, even though your legs are ready to give out.
you donât know exactly what any of this means, but you do understand him a bit better now. heâs terrible with expressing himself, but you kind of like that about him; and maybe this isnât the healthiest relationship, but life was uncertain and youâd take renji fucking you like itâs his last day alive over him openly hating you any day.
#it is done!!!! finally!!! i survived sora#fic request#bleach angst#bleach smut#bleach x reader#bleach x y/n#abarai renji x reader#abarai renji x y/n#abarai renji angst#abarai renji smut#renji x reader#renji x y/n#renji smut#renji angst#âi can change himâ đĽ´#pls no i can't be SERIOUS#y/n continues to be braver than any u.s. marine#y/n sippin that clown girl juice over this man and ykw? me too.#my man my man my man ⧠đđšŐŕ´#anyway ily sora i had fun writing this i hope u have fun aka suffer reading
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Idk if this is a hot take but why is it always âKai slaved away and worked his ass off to raise his sisterâ and never the other way round or them working hard together?
Like, I know heâs older but in the show, does he really⌠act older? Like if you think about Kai and Nyaâs dynamic yknow? Because from my understanding:
When Kai and Nya are introduced we see Kai fail at making a sword and Nya being the one to chide him for it. Kai makes an overconfident statement about wanting to be a better blacksmith than his father. This suggests that one, Kai is rather rash as well as inexperienced (something that lines up with the rest of his character arc in the pots and also generally), with Nya being the more mature figure in contrast
Also just a note but in the shorts: âI can handle it!â âNo you canât, stupidâ
Kai frequently being very good at neglecting people or things: leaving Lloyd at an arcade whilst being focused on finding samurai x, not even knowing samurai x was Nya or that she only did it because she felt left out by him, completely abandoning both Nya and Lloyd in s3 (and Ik he was going through it at the time, but in line with the fandomâs characterisation of him)
Kai in season 5: âAfter I lost my dad, I lost my way. But I was lucky to have my sister watch over meâ
Generally, their dynamic isnât one where Kai really provides for Nya at all. In fact, judging by the fact that Nya can make entire mechs and Kai struggled to make a sword, Nya was probably busting her ass to provide for Kai. And judging by the s5 quote, thatâs probably true. Iâm not saying Nya raised Kai, it just rubs me the wrong way when sheâs treated like a decorative flourish to a narrative that paints Kai as a burnt out child who was forced to grow up too soon especially since that is such a mischaracterisation of him in the first place.
#all Iâm saying is that itâs weird we undersell all of the sisterâs capabilities just so we can present the brother as tormented and burdened#ignoring the fact that he spent all his days in the gap between the pilots and s1 playing video games#like Iâm sorry kai is a pathetic baby girl in the show and I LOVE HIM THE WAY HE IS#okay yeah I snapped a little#Iâm just tired of everyone mischaracterising him yknow#like Iâm sorry bestie heâs not that capable heâs a loser man and I am ready to love loser men#i just think that itâs an incredibly stereotypical dynamic to have one male character who everyone completely#over exaggerates their struggles to the point of making it seem that everyone else in the story either doesnât suffer or is an asshole for#not noticing the suffering of this one hot guy#this happens in many fandoms and I think this is whatâs happening here#hhhhh#Iâm sorry if Kai is ur favourite and this opinion upsets you I donât mean to be bitch#Iâm just really not into this interpretation of him#again this isnât a dog at his character I just thing people donât get him a lot of the time#and you know what Nya is also super undersold as a character#like whereâs the fucking Nya Lloyd sibling content?#she mentored Lloyd too? she taught him how to ride dragons she stayed with him on the bounty she and Lloyd only had eachother in s9#what about them??#Kai gets too woobified and Nya doesnât get woobified enough thatâs my opinion#alright Iâm done sorry#Ninjago#rant#ig this is a#ninjago analysis#i wonât tag characters cuz I donât want to make anyone upset#and again Iâm sorry if I do
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Actually I will ramble a bit cuz my friend & I do have a hc weâve been playing off of that involves tiny Vash but since itâs canon in stampede that Vash can change the density of his Gate & in maximum (my preferred trigun) how Vash can grow really Big and Monstrous (so can Knives) if he adds to his mass so he can support his size that maybe an Opposite effect can happen. While growing, Vash needs added mass to support his weight, but the bigger he gets, the more inhuman and more of a flesh singularity he becomes; that growth also causes him to lose his identity and get consumed by himself temporarily. Because Iâm a silly guy who likes thinking his GT with logic⌠but also⌠maybe when Vash overuses plant juices, or his body needs to fall into recovery mode after extreme body harm / near fatal situations (or extreme psychological stress), he goes into what my friend and I call âpower saving modeâ. Back up battery. His body shrinks. Size varies but the smallest heâs gotten is 2 inches. Thereâs an inherent fear he has if he pushes himself over his limits he might go quantum & never recover⌠like how in stampede he shrunk his Gate into a quantum state⌠itâs a very round about kind of canon aligned hc to make Vash shrink and be tiny. And cuz he neglects his plant powers so much he canât control it⌠not until much much later in maximum⌠but he mostly canât⌠also reflects his plant ability to absorb / store energy and release it.
Something something weâve had scenarios where Vashâs body & mind gets so stressed out mini psychotic break or physical issue just causes him to shrink in his hotel room in front of Wolfwood & the Girls⌠and basically whateverâs on him at the time shrinks too so what heâs wearing n stuff⌠hehehe itty bitty & a lil squeaky and definitely extremely nervous exchanges between handling & being handled. Also accidentally freaking out his companions. Being small reminds him heâs not human & it makes him feel a lil self consciousâŚ
#Txt#long ramble⌠my friend and I have done lil timelines tooâŚ#This is all from manga events btw but like#Him shrinking after Monev the Galeâs fight in manga in front of the Girls⌠having them take care of him for a few nights before his body -#-decides to grow back. And then after the colony 3 fight & during hospital arc he also#Has another shrinking spell. Post adrenaline and bodyâs like catching up with lack of energy. The colony scientists & doctors know this#About Vash so they can still treat him but heâs flustered about it. Luida loves her teensy sonâŚ#And then thereâs just little incidents when traveling with WolfwoodâŚ#Scared him sooooo bad when it happened at first. Watching Vash just shrink after suffering a dangerous wound he#Patched up hours before. Hehe. Oops.#And then shrinking in front of both Wolfwood and the girls after this scenario where Vash absorbs radiation from a dying plant before it#Explodes but it causes him to explode into a Cronenberg flesh monster & after they pull him out his own rapidly decaying massive body & hes#In a coma does he shrink 2 days in and wake up tiny and theyâre just Overwhelming him and trying to#Take care of him proper⌠Meryl and Wolfwood bicker about how to do it rightâŚ#Milly is very sweet and gentle with him though⌠but Vash overwhelmed⌠so easy to overwhelm.#Anyways big ramble#Trigun gt#Hehehehejehe explodes
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WHY DDID MY PHOTO APP MAKE A VIDEO MONTAGE OF PORNOGRAPHIC IMAGES I DOWNLOADED 3 YEARS AGO WITH UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING
#pretty violent stuff too x3#when all hope seems lost my phone wants me to remember... girls suffering... life can be beautiful sometimes too. never kill yourself
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