#girlaboutcampus

[girlaboutcampus]

Goodbye for now

It’s been a while since I wrote here. This year has taken some unexpected turns and, after a difficult February and March, I’ve had no time to collect my thoughts until now. Between work and finishing up my masters degree, I’ve been an unstoppable little ball of stress, careering from the library to job interview to summer school. However, I handed in my masters dissertation this past week and have, for the first time in six months, found myself with a blissfully empty schedule. 

This last year at St Andrews has felt a bit like I was on borrowed time- most of my friends had moved on to work or other universities, I wasn’t living in town and I no longer felt the same enthusiasm to complete the constant stream of work that was pelted my way. This isn’t to say I haven’t enjoyed my masters year, but after years of forcing myself to work to exhaustion I had worn out my tolerance for academic self-flagellation. I wanted more than anything to just be able to enjoy what I was studying, but unfortunately a masters degree doesn’t allow you to pump the breaks at all and after a three-week personal crisis in the middle of the semester I felt like I was treading water for the rest of my degree. 

Without the pomp and ceremony of final exams and graduation to see my time at St Andrews out (my graduation is in December), the end of my studies kind of crept up on me. I had a few good cries on the bus on the way to and from St Andrews, not for any particular reason other than feeling overwhelmed by how quickly the last five years had slipped by. St Andrews has its talons well and truly in me and now I have to work out who I am without it. That or I’ll just go full Richard Gilmore and bully all my younger family members into applying so I can live vicariously through them. That somehow sounds more likely. 

I started this blog shortly before I chose St Andrews and it has seen me through the last five years, documenting the peaks and troughs of my time at university. Now that I’m moving on, I thought it would be a good idea to call it a day on this blog. I’d like to have it as a little time capsule of my time at St Andrews, neatly tied off at either end. So, this is goodbye on this platform at least. I’m sure I’ll start a new project elsewhere and when I do, I’ll post it here. 

Where to next? Well, I guess I have to find a proper grown up job now. I’m hoping I’ll have some time now to do some proper writing and submit it to some other blogs and publications. If you’d like to keep up with me you can, as always, find me:

on twitter

on instagram

at booktrotting

That’s me signing off,

Ellen, 

MLitt, MA, University of St Andrews. 

[youtooshallpass]

revamping my studyblr 

I’ve decided to revamp youtooshallpass as a wellbeing focused blog. The studyblr community is filled with posts about productivity and killing procrastination, but I have been to the edge of that inevitable cliff and I’m never going back. As a masters student, I feel like a bit of an elder in the studyblr community and feel like I might have something valuable to offer in terms of advice. Take time off, have a nap, find a way to relax. 

A brief reintro

I’m Ellen, I’m a postgraduate masters student in Shakespeare and Renaissance Literature. I have an undergrad in English and Classical Studies! I’ve taken it upon myself to spread some wisdom about how to look after yourself whilst you’re studying. I’ll also post some stuff about my work, because, why not? You’ll be able to find stuff that is relevant from National 5 (GCSE level) through University level.

If you want to read anything I’ve written, go to my blog girlaboutcampus.

What do you study?

I’m studying for my Master of Letters in Shakespeare and Renaissance Literary Culture.

What classes are you taking?

I’m currently taking classes in Renaissance Pop Culture, the Continental Renaissance and Edmund Spenser.

What is your undergrad in? How did you do?

I have a first class MA Hons in English and Classical Studies from the University of St Andrews.

What subjects did you take at school?

English, Classical Studies, French, Maths, Physics and Music.

Can you help me with [x]?

Maybe, drop me a message.

Feel free to ask me anything

[girlaboutcampus]

toasty. // an autumn playlist

a wind has blown the rain away and blown

 the sky away and all the leaves away,

 and the trees stand. I think i too have known 

autumn too long. - - e. e. cummings 

rhiannon // fleetwood mac

supercut // lorde

red // taylor swift 

misguided ghosts // paramore

take me down // the pretty reckless

yellow flicker beat // lorde

surround me // leon

piece of mind // kehlani

anthem for doomed youth // the libertines

crying over you // HONNE ft. BEKA

valley of the dolls // marina and the diamonds

maps // yeah yeah yeahs

peace sign // the front bottoms

you’ve got the dirtee love // florence and the machine and dizzee rascal

grow // conan grey

long way // camila recchio

get you // daniel caesar ft. kali uchis

homewrecker // marina and the diamonds

magic // coldplay

treacherous- demo // taylor swift 

i wanna get better // tinashe, bleachers

black magic woman // fleetwood mac

lost in japan // shawn mendes

lovely thing suite: theories // watsky 

goodnight n go // ariana grande 

LISTEN TO SPOTIFY PLAYLIST

[girlaboutcampus]

Getting sick at university and how to prepare for it. 

“I need you to promise me that after this meeting you will go home and take the rest of the week off, not do any work, and get better,” is what my very sweet counsellor said to me, unusually sternly, as I entered our second meeting in a fortnight with a fistful of snotty tissues.

“I promise,” I said in my bunged up Ray Romano voice. She eyed me sceptically, not sure whether to believe me. After all, I had told her about my tendency to work myself to burnout and hate of feeling unproductive. I had to admit, however, that she was right this time. By not resting, I was probably turning a one week cold into a month-long one, complete with post-viral fatigue.

University is a wonderful melting pot of people from all over the world, getting together, living in close proximity, sharing drinks and hooking up. You’re going to get sick. It’s bound to happen sooner or later, probably at the most inconvenient intersection of deadlines and social commitments, because, you know, sod’s law. If you, like me, are predisposed to burning it at both ends, then the thought of getting sick at university probably fills you with anxiety over missed deadlines and visions of falling so far behind on your reading that you never catch up. I’ve found the best way to prepare yourself for the inevitable is to prepare yourself for it as much as possible. Here are my tips.

STOCK UP

Having to drag yourself to the chemist when you’re already sick and don’t want to leave the house is grim. I try to always have a box of Lemsip sachets and try to keep one or two on me (kind cafe staff will fill you up a cup of hot water if you ask nicely), in case I get one of those colds that feels like it comes on all at once with a sneezing fit. I’d also grab some paracetamol or ibuprofen. A tub of ice cream never did anyone any harm either. My personal favourite cold cure is the Yogi Tea immune boost tea with a squeeze of lemon and squirt of honey in it- I actually find it works just as well as Lemsip and doesn’t taste so gross. 

USE YOUR ABSENCES SPARINGLY

At my university, you get three absences per class a semester. It sounds like a lot, but you can quickly rack them up if you’re feeling underprepared for a class so just skip it, or just really aren’t feeling facing the world that day. Do your best not to concentrate these kinds of absence at the start of the semester and leave yourself in trouble if you pick up a bug later on. Same goes for extensions- lecturers are more likely to be generous with extensions if you don’t ask for them very often.

FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU MIGHT MISS

If you’re feeling a bit gross and it’s starting to get worse, have a look at what classes you might miss, and plan accordingly. Can you catch up at the end of a semester? Do you have a friend in the class who can send you their notes? Is the lecturer likely to be willing to schedule a catch-up meeting with you (they usually are)? If you’ve started to feel better but still don’t think you’re up to studying, e-mail your lecturer in advance and let them know that you might be at class, but you won’t have done the reading. Most will be happy that you’re just turning up. 

SEE A DOCTOR

If you’ve been feeling a bit run down but not fully sick for a while, especially if it’s making you feel anxious, it’s worth seeing a doctor. In my experience and the experience of people I know, you could be iron deficient, or something else might be up. If that’s the case, you can get supplements to bring you up to scratch! 

REST

Just lie in bed for a few days and don’t do any work. I mean any work. It’s not as important as getting better. Use it as an excuse to catch up with TV shows you’ve not been able to watch and order pizza. Just relax. It’s easier said than done. 

Get well soon! 

Similar posts: 

How to avoid Freshers Flu

You are doing enough.

[girlaboutcampus]

Hark! // a magical christmas playlist

“What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary. ”

It’s really difficult to recapture that childhood Christmas magic as an adult, especially in your early twenties, when you don’t actually know any children, so can’t even experience that vicarious Christmas magic. You really have to work for it. This year I decided to try and make as magical a playlist as I could muster and can vouch that it makes the experience of solo Christmas shopping at least a fraction more palatable. This one is very much a work in progress, so please send any more recs my way! Listen with cross-fade set to max. 

LISTEN ON SPOTIFY

dedication of disneyland (july 17th 1955) // walt disney

love sequence (from It’s A Wonderful Life) // dimitri tomkin

love is easy // mcfly

it’s beginning to look a lot like christmas // michael buble 

main title “somewhere in my memory” (from Home Alone) // john williams

carol of the bells // london festival orchestra

fireworks (from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix) // nicholas hooper

the polar express // tom hanks

sleigh ride // leroy anderson

what christmas means to me // stevie wonder

a christmas festival // handel

the nutcracker suite // the brian setzer orchestra

i wish it was christmas today // julian casablancas

pennies from heaven // louis prima, sam butera and the witnesses

a better new year // pomplamoose

first winter // wrabel 

when - live // dodie

little saint nick // she & him

somewhere only we know // scott bradlee’s postmodern jukebox

gaudete! // alexander l’estrange

santa claus is coming to town // sufjan stevens

o come all ye faithful // ella fitzgerald

leaving hogwarts // john williams

[girlaboutcampus]

get a little merry. // an “it’s too early for christmas tunes” playlist

People are assholes about other people listening to Christmas music in November, so I’ve put together a compromise playlist which is just surreptitious enough to slip under the radar of grumpy spoilsports (though it does get a bit more festive towards the end. 

LISTEN ON SPOTIFY 

everything // michael bublé

wonderful things // ryan corn

river // joni mitchell

bed i made // allen stone

joy never ends (auld long syne) // caroline herring

by my side // david choi

god only knows // jamie cullum

the wind // the caulden road

winter song // the head and the heart

1000 times // sara bareilles 

the angel islington // frank turner

beautiful birds // passenger ft. birdy

leila // the arcadian wild

losing touch // nathan angelo 

envy green // the arcadian wild

this love won’t break your heart // annalise emerick 

heavy // birdtalker 

everglow // coldplay

water under bridges // gregory porter 

white winter hymnal // fleet foxes 

winter moon // mindy gledhill

carol of the banjos // beta radio

the christmas waltz // she & him

mvmt IV, “every bell on earth will ring” // the oh hellos 

[girlaboutcampus]

My 2019 Resolutions

My mission for the last six months has been to put less pressure on myself, so making a bunch of resolutions doesn’t make a great deal of sense. The thing is, I really enjoy making resolutions- it makes an otherwise boring and, frankly, depressing time of year a little more bearable. It’s nice to feel like you have something to look forward to when there aren’t any holidays coming up. So, I set some ground rules:- 1) no body-focused resolutions and 2) no academic resolutions. Instead, this year I’ve focused on having my fun and being a better, I don’t know, citizen of Planet Earth. 

1. Go vegetarian

I’ve been trying to reduce my meat intake for years- I even resolved to give up red meat a few years ago, which I did, mostly. Recently, however, I’ve eaten a lot of meat, using it mostly as a treat yo’self kind of thing (turns out, I treat myself a lot). Truth be told, I feel physically healthier and much less guilty when I don’t eat meat, so I’ve decided to bite the bullet and go totally veggie. Most of my friends and family eat veggie anyway, so it shouldn’t be too tricky! 

2. Buy less fast fashion

I’m actually already fairly good with not clothes shopping unless I have to,  but when I do I buy the cheapest, crappiest, probably most unethically made stuff. I’ve decided that I’m going to do my best to buy more long-wearing clothes from more ethical and sustainable fashion outlets, whenever I can afford to. It really sucks that the sustainable brands are so much more expensive, but if from time to time I have the means, I’m going to make the better choice. If you have any recommendations I’d love to hear them. 

3. Live more sustainably

The last resolution figures in this one too. I’m really rubbish with, um, rubbish- plastic bottles and paper cups are my worst offence. I really need to start using a reusable coffee cup but in my defence, I’m struggling to find one that the smell of the first thing you put in it doesn’t cling forever. Again, recommendations, please!

4. Finish a writing project

Last year I resolved to finish some writing projects, so with that being a stinking failure, I’ve lowered the bar a little to just the one. 

5. Share more writing

I always want to share more of my creative writing, but not finishing that much is a real roadblock. I want to try and put a couple of short things out there, whether that’s submitting them to something or just putting them on here. 

6. Be a better listener

I have this obnoxious habit of nervous chat. It’s really well-intentioned thing I do when I’m trying to come up with things to say, and then when I do, I end up talking over whoever I’m having a conversation with. It makes me really seem like I’m not interested in what they’re saying, which is absolutely not the case, but I get how it looks. I’m also guilty of leaving my phone on the table when I’m out for lunch with people. No more of that this year! 

7. See more movies at the cinema

I love going to the cinema and live near two affordable, great independent cinemas. It’s a total waste that I don’t go more often! I already have one in the bag (The Favourite) and plenty more I’m excited for.  

8. Work hard on Booktrotting

I’m really keen to get up and running properly with Booktrotting, my other project. The issue with it is that because I don’t drive it’s quite an expensive project to get on with. However, I think if I planned and researched more carefully, I could be more strategic in how I do it. The ultimate goal would be to feel like I could justify starting up a Patreon, but one step at a time.

So, let’s see how it goes!

[girlaboutcampus]

How I optimised my social media for my mental health

cw: this blog post contains references to food, fitness and dieting culture. 

A few years ago I was working for a chain bookstore over the festive period, mostly on the tills serving customers and occasionally dealing with enquiries and shelving. There was blissfully minimal phone answering too. Bookshops tend to stay pretty busy after Christmas with sales, folks coming in to buy something to read in their remaining time off and to buy dieting books. When I clocked in to take my shift on Boxing Day, there had already been a table of dieting and fitness bibles set up, all on two-for-one deals. Whilst I’m sure this table was set up on corporate instruction, it left a bad taste in my mouth. Bookshops are by no means safe spaces- they’re a place you should go to look for material that challenges and stretches your beliefs, as well as things to help you relax.  However, I don’t think they’re a place you go to be judged for your lifestyle, especially if you’re just on the way up to grab a muffin and latte with friends in the cafe. In many ways, this is the experience of being on social media in microcosm.

This summer, I had a bit of a meltdown, which I’ve talked about a little before. Without university to occupy me, I became obsessed with going to the gym. When I didn’t see results as quickly as I had in the past, I started to hyperfocus on my appearance and weight. It quickly became clear that I’d got myself into a dark place, so I started going to see one of the counsellors at my university (which is an enormous privilege you should make the most of if you also have access to it). It became clear to me, in talking to my counsellor, that a lot of my problem was down to the space I had curated for myself on social media. The fitness board I maintained on Pinterest meant that the algorithm was constantly generating unattainable bodies, diet foods and problematic motivational statements. From following some of my younger brother’s school friends on Instagram, I began to feel bad about not having the body shape of a teenager anymore. I decided to clear a whole day to go through all my social media and make it as much of a hospitable space for my mental health as possible. I should be clear at this point that this might not necessarily work for you, though I found it to be incredibly helpful. I’m sharing in the hope that it might make a little difference for someone else. I’ll start with the easier social networks and work my way up to the big guns. 

Facebook

This one might be more difficult for you depending on how much use you get out of Facebook. Personally, I use it mostly for keeping up with events, messaging friends and updating family members. One thing you can do if you only use it for the latter two is delete the Facebook app and just keep Messenger, that way you have to be on an actual computer to check facebook. If you don’t want to delete the app, then start to take advantage of the mute button. You can go through the hassle of sitting going through your whole friend list, removing people you no longer talk to, see, or are interested in keeping up with (you can let go of some people from school at this point, face it). However, I find that the experience of unfriending people can actually make me feel more anxious. 

The best thing I do- and this one isn’t something you can necessarily do in one day- is mute or unfriend as I scroll down my feed. If someone I once met in a job I had four years ago starts posting offensive and ill-informed political memes to my feed, that’s their time to go. If a friend’s mum posts a lot of things about her New Year’s diet, she’s going to get muted for the time being. If a friend posts a photo of her super cute baby, that’s getting a big heart react- give me more of that good shit. A big part of all of this stuff is trying to train your algorithm to show you the stuff you want, even if it fights back. 

Twitter

First huge bit of advice- block all the bigoted reactionaries. That’s your Piers Morgans, Katie Hopkinses, Julia Hartley-Brewerses and that girl who worships guns. This isn’t me openly advocating shutting yourself out of political discourse, or creating some kind of political echo chamber for yourself.  It’s just starving people who thrive on outrage of the attention they crave. I don’t care if you have a witty rebuttal. They don’t deserve your attention, views or clicks. Try to find professional journalists, politicians, and pundits whose expertise you can trust and who conduct themselves ethically and responsibly, rather than trying to just get clicks for their work. Also, read whole articles and think pieces rather than just the headlines. Headlines are often written to stir up outrage over something that just isn’t outrageous.

 Find tweeters who make you laugh, make good art and whose voices you’d like to amplify. 

Instagram (and Tumblr) 

Now we’re getting into the heavy lifters. It seems to me that the more image-dense the platform, the worse it can be for your mental health, especially if your mental health is tied up in your body image. Instagram and Tumblr might be the platforms to be most cutthroat with. What you decide to do with this one is really deeply personal, but I would suggest going with your gut and unfollowing and muting anything that makes you feel less than, no matter how nice the person running it seems. My first call was to unfollow more or less everyone who’s ever breathed in the general vicinity of a Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. A lot of these models seem to be lovely women, but their lifestyles and bodies are the definitions of unattainable. The one exception I make to this rule is Chrissy Teigen because her content is all about earnestly enjoying food, family and travel. Plus, she doesn’t take herself too seriously. Instagram also has a useful feature that allows you to mute stories, posts or both at your own discretion. That way if there’s someone you follow who posts great travel photos but is always talking about weight loss in their stories, you can filter out that content and keep what you like. I found that, personally, having fewer bodies in my line of sight is for the best. I like to maximise the presence of delicious food, cute animals and uplifting messages I follow. Here are some favourites:

Nigella Lawson

Shila and Eddie the Pomeranians

withlovelinh

Hannah Witton

Demi Adejuyigbe

Pinterest

This is the daddy of all the image-based platforms. Whilst probably the least popular of all the platforms listed here, it probably has the most potential to do harm. Don’t get me wrong, I love Pinterest. It is one of the most easily spaces online and the fact that it is image focused means that there is very little text involved, so it’s an ocean of calm compared to a platform like Twitter. However, it also has what might possibly be the most reactive algorithm of any platform. This is broadly a helpful tool, allowing you to locate the exact material you’re looking for, but it can really double down on any harmful material you put into it. It’s the internet’s worst enabler. In this sense, spring cleaning it is work. I got rid of my fitspo board and replaced it with one more focused on self-care. This didn’t mean getting rid of all my fitness-focused stuff- I still pin specific exercise routines- but I don’t pin #bodygoals stuff now.  A very important part of changing this is being conscientious of what I am choosing to repin. Specifically, I have to ask myself 

“Do I really like this hair/ makeup/ clothing, or do I just want to look like the model?”

If the answer is no, I will ask Pinterest to remove it from my feed. Pinterest also has a zero-tolerance policy for content that encourages eating disorders and self-harm so you can report anything like that. Whilst Pinterest will continue to show you things after you have deleted the boards you can, over time, train it to show you more of the things you want to see. I’ve finally got it to a point where I’m seeing things that make me feel bad far less frequently. 

All of this is work and requires a conscious effort from yourself to remove things that are harmful before they get to you. This system isn’t perfect and you will continue to see garbage some of the time. It is still possible to optimise what you’re seeing in order to feel less anxious and down on yourself. Do keep in mind, that it’s just a small part of your life and that if you are genuinely concerned about your mental health to talk to a professional if that is something you are able to access. Also, this isn’t an alternative to minimising your screentime, which we should probably all try to do a little more. 

Happy new year! 

More like this 

You are doing enough. 

Did I Keep my 2018 Resolutions?

[girlaboutcampus]

Did I Keep My 2018 Resolutions?

As I’ve written many times before, I’m a fan of the ol’ New Year’s Resolution. I don’t mean to brag, but I think I’m pretty okay at keeping mine. This is mostly down to the fact that I like to set lots of less ambitious goals rather than big, life-changing ones. That being said, I’ve been trying to make fewer resolutions year on year, just to put less unnecessary pressure on myself. This year I made ten resolutions and I thought, with only a week of 2018 to go, it was time to see whether or not I kept them. 

1. Make the most of my last semester at St Andrews

2. Have at least a vague plan for the year after graduation

I’ve decided to put these two together because they seem to go hand-in-hand. It turns out that last semester wasn’t actually to be my last semester at St Andrews at all as, as you know,  I ended up doing my masters there too. I live at home with my parents again, commuting in for classes a few days a week, so it really feels like the first half of the year was my last proper semester at St Andrews. So many of my friends left town, taking jobs from as nearby as Dundee and far away as China- everything feels different this semester to last. I did my best to document that semester, taking little video clips and saying “Yes!” to as many invites as possible, and in the end, I ended up with a nice little video to share with my friends who were graduating. I’m more than happy to tick those two resolutions off. 

3. Learn more about my political party

With everything that’s happened this year in the world of politics, I’ve come far closer to leaving my political party than jumping into learning more about it. Still, I’d like to learn more about politics, especially political history. I’ve been avoiding it because, well, you know. It’s safe to say that this resolution tanked. 

4. Finish some writing projects

I probably did more writing this year than last, but did I finish anything? I don’t want to talk about it. 

5. Exercise more consistently

I actually really enjoy exercise, but I have this real issue with forgetting that fact. As this is the case, I tend to go through periods of a month or two of exercising constantly followed by entire years of not doing any. This year I ran my second 10k in June just before my graduation and then I managed to get a gym membership within walking distance of my house. I can safely say that my exercise has been pretty consistent since around April! I don’t do as much exercise as I’d like to be doing, but I feel like I have a solid habit on the go.

6. Cook from a recipe at least once a month

I probably can’t claim to have been successful with this one, but I have a solid three recipes under my belt which I make on a regular basis for my family. My diet has been much better in general since moving home, so whilst my cooking is definitely something I need to get better at (I’ll probably move out again quite soon), I’m not as worried about it right now. 

7. Take better care of my teeth

Pleased to report that I didn’t need any fillings when I went to the dentist in August. Plus, I actually made my six-month appointment on the day instead of putting it off. Santa brought me an electric toothbrush too! I still need to be better with flossing, but I’m feeling pretty good about this one. 

8. Learn to value stress less

This one didn’t really hit me until the Summer when I got my degree classification and instead of being completely thrilled, like I should have been, I felt relieved. What was the point of doing all that work if I wasn’t enjoying it? After a particularly stressful summer, I finally went to see a counsellor at my university, who helped me work on my complete inability to do anything that didn’t feel productive. I used to convince myself that I liked being busy all the time and, even though there is some truth to that, it turns out that I just have some really horrendous bad habits. Whilst I’m still kind of hung up on my grades, I’m in a much better place about saying no to things I don’t have time for, and trying to make time to relax on a regular basis. As a result, I feel much less anxious most of the time and I can properly enjoy my downtime. 

9. See all of the Oscars ‘Best Picture’ nominees

I still need to see The Post, Phantom Thread, Darkest Hour and Call Me By Your Name, but hey! There are still four days of 2018 to go! 

10. Stop fearing long books

Let’s call a long book anything over four hundred pages. This year I think I read about 7 long books. Not setting a goal for the number of books I wanted to read this year was definitely a help and strangely, I actually read 53 books this year, more than I’ve ever managed before. My Contemporary British Fiction class was a big help on his one, with three of my longer books coming from that reading list. I even found a new favourite in Zadie Smith’s White Teeth! I have promised myself I will read A Little Life in 2019. 

So, let’s call that a decent 6/10. Not too shabby! Overall, though this has been a pretty shitty year for the world at large, it’s actually been a pretty spectacular one for me personally. Stay tuned for my 2019 resolutions. 

[girlaboutcampus]

An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green // Book Review (NO SPOILERS) 

I am and have been a massive fan of the Green brothers for the last decade or so, with their videos and John's books playing an important role in guiding me through my teenage years (and into adulthood). Naturally, I was very excited for Hank's first literary offering

I absolutely powered through AART, turning the final page in the wee hours of the morning, royally buggering my plans for the next morning. The novel is thoroughly readable, often funny and frequently cinematic. April May (hopefully a placeholder name which just stuck) is quite a dislikable protagonist, and like many others, I found her negligent treatment of her friends frustrating, though I wouldn't go so far as to say this made her a bad character. I felt that she was fully fleshed out and though I didn't agree with her decisions, her motivations and insecurities were well enough established that I sympathised with them. She reminded me a lot of Katniss Everdeen, though considerably more charismatic.  The supporting characters, however, felt a little blurry around the edges- though I couldn't help but feel Hank was holding back to flesh them out more in the sequel which will no doubt follow.

It is true that AART is a touch heavy-handed with its moralising. Sometimes, in longer stretches of tangential detail, I was brought out of the story and the narrative took on Hank's voice. That being said, there is hardly anyone more qualified to speak on issues such as internet fame and online communities than Hank Green, so, if this is an alternative to him writing a polemical autobiography, I'll take it! It would be easier to be irked by Hank's perspective if I didn't often share it, and it didn't feel that he was adding something valuable to the discourse about global communities and politics.

I applaud Hank for this incredibly impressive, genre-defying debut. Whilst he doesn't have the same literary flair as John (his writing is very pared-down and unornamented, some might say underdeveloped), AART shows a lot of promise as a book which combines science fiction with very real fears and hopes for our modern world.

I'll be interested to see if the sequel sticks with its speculative, though fairly grounded tone, or if we're just getting started on a series of sci-fi page-turners.

8/10 

Follow all my book reviews on Goodreads 

[girlaboutcampus]

You are doing enough.

‘Work smarter, not harder’ - that’s what we’re supposed to be doing according to every academic, CEO and motivational speaker. Highly effective people should be able to churn out high-quality work in the smallest possible amount of time. Sounds good in theory- if we could all get our work done more quickly, we’d have lots more free time to do things like see friends, travel and relax. That’s not happening though, is it? We’re not working ‘smarter, not harder’, we’re working smarter and harder. Working efficiently just means more time for more work. Great, we’re all one notch closer to burnout.

Like the rest of the world, I’ve been taken in by all the blog posts and youtube videos about productivity. I’ve got a bullet journal, a google calendar and a studyblr. Most of the time, I enjoy the business of being productive- I like the satisfaction of ticking all the boxes on my to-do list; I like having things going on; I like being sociable. However, I recently came to a realisation- I can’t do anything that I don’t consider ‘productive’. 

Recently, I’ve been seeing a counsellor for the low self-esteem I’ve been suffering with since graduation. Since I left university for the summer I’ve not had a great deal to do except read and go to the gym. For a lot of people, this is the dream. For me, that means not having any goals to work towards, which means that I have a lot of time with me, myself, and my neuroses. As you can imagine, this tends to end with me stressing myself out for no good reason.

I told my counsellor about this and she asked me what I do for relaxation. I told her that I liked planning in my journal, reading and going to the gym. She pointed out that the only thing on that list that could be considered not goals-oriented was reading, to which I pointed out that, actually, Goodreads has ‘game-ified’ reading too and now it's all about how many books you read in a year, and which books you are reading. My counsellor’s face turned to concern. Turns out, rather than making the most of my time and having a fulfilling life, I’m instant gratification-ing myself to burnout. I’m addicted to productivity. 

Thanks to this, I’m the perfect candidate for Blinkist’s targeted advertising. Blinkist is an app which claims that by using it you can read up to four non-fiction bestsellers a day. Curious, I clicked on one of these ads to see how it could possibly make such a huge claim. After all, I’d probably be considered a heavy reader and I’d struggle to get one book read in a day, and even then I’d be skimming most of it. Turns out, Blinkist offers 20-minute text and audio summaries of everything from the hottest self-help reads to up-to-date tech tomes. So basically, you ‘read’ four books a day by investing 80 minutes in what is essentially Sparknotes for assholes. Much like Sparknotes, the only gratification I imagine you can get out of this is avoiding office FOMO by being able to pretend you have read books you are apparently supposed to have read.* It really rubs me up the wrong way. Why can’t we just enjoy reading, no matter how long it takes us? No one should be worried about how much they read unless it is literally their job to do that. 

Last year, I juggled two (sometimes three) jobs, my final year at university, being school president, applying to my masters and a social life. At no point did it occur to me that I was doing enough, being sufficiently productive, or not wasting my time when I sat down to watch a movie. Objectively, someone doing a quarter of that is doing quite a lot. I’ve been thinking a lot about the mentality I’ve developed around productivity and now I can see that productivity is definitely damaging my mental health in quite a serious way which has hurt my confidence in my knowledge, abilities and even my physical health. I’m doing enough. You probably are too. 

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*or maybe to find out more about books you’re interested in reading in full- but that’s not very cost effective, considering it costs more than an audible subscription.

[girlaboutcampus]

SEASON FINALE  /// a graduation playlist

I graduate this week. It’s not quite set in yet that four years have come and gone already and that most of my friends, flatmates, and classmates will be whizzing off all over the world to start their careers and that I might never get to see some of them again. I can already tell I’m going to be a complete emotional mess all week. Here’s a playlist of tunes that give me season finale vibes. Starting strong, with a soft gooey centre and a big finish. Some of them are mushy. 

I Wish It Was Here // The 88 Dancing in the Moonlight- Acoustic // Toploader I’ll Be There For You // The Rembrandts Sunday Candy  // Donnie Trumpet and the Social Experiment Tell Me If You Wanna Go Home // Keira Knightley This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) // Natalie Cole Changes // Butterfly Boucher and David Bowie Best Day Of My Life // Jesse McCartney Can’t Go Back Now // The Weepies See The World // Gomez I Know A Place // MUNA Agape // Bear’s Den Falling Faster // Andrew Ripp History // One Direction Home // Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros Safe and Sound // Captial Cities Tongue Tied // Grouplove Boom Clap // Charli XCX Rollercoaster // Bleachers Like I’m Gonna Lose You // Meghan Trainor ft. John Legend Let It Out // Frances There’s A Reason // Wet Life Is A Highway // Rascal Flatts All My Friends // Snakehips feat. Tinashe, Chance The Rapper  I Wanna Get Better // Bleachers Cut To The Feeling // Carly Rae Jepsen You’ve Got A Friend In Me // Robert Goulet  Green Light // Lorde All These Things That I’ve Done // The Killers Everyday // High School Musical Cast We’re All In This Together // High School Musical Cast  How Will I Know // Whitney Houston If We Ever Meet Again // Timbaland ft. Katy Perry Time of Our Lives // Pitbull feat. Ne-Yo Final Song // MO One Last Time // Ariana Grande

PLAY ON SPOTIFY

[girlaboutcampus]

Getting Started with Shakespeare

So you want to get into Shakespeare.

I was chatting with a friend of mine recently, who said he’d quite like to get into Shakespeare as an adult, without the pressure of having to study for an exam. I feel like now, having finished my Classical Studies and English degree, and having written my dissertation on Shakespeare, I am at least vaguely qualified to give advice on the subject. Maybe you’re about to start your degree and haven’t read much Shakespeare before, or you might be at school and struggling to get to grips with the language,  or maybe, like my friend, you’re just curious. Whichever applies, this advice is for you. Throughout this post, I’ve also attached links to handy info and resources. 

 Go see some Shakespeare performed

Me with William Shakesbear on a trip to the RSC, Birmingham UK, 2017

As you know, Shakespeare’s plays were designed to be performed, not read. With the benefit of actors actually standing in front of you acting the play out, the early modern English is much easier to understand. There are lots of ways to absorb some Shakespeare without destroying your bank balance. If you live in a city, there’s a decent chance you have a local theatre company who will put on a Shakespeare production once or twice a year. During the summer you can also check our your local parks and botanical gardens for outdoor performances. If you live in the UK and can travel, the Royal Shakepeare Company and National Theatre provide £5-7.50 tickets for under-25s, and Shakespeare’s Globe do £5 tickets for those willing to stand. If none of this is available to you, you can also go and see RSC and NT performances streamed live to your local cinema, or check out Digital Theatre, which is like Netflix for theatre. 

But what if I want to read Shakespeare?

Reading Shakespeare is a challenge even if you’re experienced, but there are ways to make it easier for yourself. When you’re getting starte, it might be your first instinct to buy a great big full works of Shakespeare with all of his plays and poems inside. Whilst these are super handy to have on hand for reference, they aren’t practical for reading full plays from, as they’re importable and tend to have really dense columns of text. Buying individual plays may seem less cost effective, but it’s a much more practical way to read them. The Oxford School Shakespeare editions come with handy ‘translation’ notes in the margins, which can help clarify some of the language. My favourite editions, however, are the Arden ones, as they provide a tonne of contextual info, such as historical background, performance history, and source text material. 

Should I read a comedy first?

Comedy’s seem like the natural first choice for getting started with anyone’s work. You’d probably assume that they’d be lighter, more entertaining, and less dense. Whilst that isn’t necessarily untrue, comedies can be really hard to follow on the page, and a lot of the humour is lost to the centuries unless brought back to life by an actor. Shakespeare’s comedies tend to be full of disguises, cross-dressing and crossed-wires, which can often make them a puzzling read. I recommend starting with a tragedy. They’re usually a little more straightforward in their plots and a bit easier to follow. They’re also, as a general rule, better plays, in my opinion anyway. I’d personally recommend starting with Julius Caesar or Macbeth, because there’s a reasonable chance you’re already vaguely familiar with their plots. There’s also no shame in Sparknotes-ing plot summeries if you’ve lost your bearings. 

Learn some background! 

We’re currently experiencing a huge podcast boom, which means there are loads of opportunities to learn about all kinds of things for free. Whilst there are some fabulous books out there by writers such as Stephen Greenblatt, James Shapiro and Antony Sher, it’s hard to know where to start, and you might not want to commit to big book purchases only to find you’ve bought a dry slab of academic jargon you can’t bear to wade through. Podcasts provide a handy way of absorbing info in digestable hour-long chunks. My two favourites at the moment for Shakespeare are the Telegraph and RSC’s Much Ado About Shakespeare cast and Cassidy Cash’s That Shakespeare Life. In Much Ado About Shakespeare, Ben Lawrence explores Shakespeare’s place in our modern world looking into the background of the plays as well as interviewing theatre practicioners and experts about current productions and film adaptations.. If you’re wondering why Shakespeare’s work continues to thrive, this podcast is for you. Cassidy Cash, in her podcast That Shakespeare Life, explores the world of Shakespeare, talking to academics about everything from the actor Richard Burbage, to the food Shakespeare would have eaten. Learning more about Shakespeare’s world will help you make more sense of his work!

If you’d like to hear more of my thoughts on Shakespeare please do get in touch! 

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[girlaboutcampus]

dermotillomania

Most people have a couple of scars from childhood playground scrapes; oven burns that never healed; cuts from sports injuries. I have one on my left knee from skidding on the gritty concrete of my primary school playground during a game of rounders, an injury so common that a number of my classmates can boast sporting a similar injury. It’s not my only scar, however. My skin is a perfect pointillism portrait of every cat scratch, chicken pock, bug bite and grazed knee I have ever had. I have excoriation disorder, also known as dermotillomania.

Dermotillomania is an obsessive-compulsive type disorder whereby sufferers compulsively pick at perceived imperfections in their skin, such as spots or bug bites- some people will pick at skin that has absolutely nothing wrong with it. This sets it apart from other mental illnesses in that it is easily one of the more physically obvious ones, yet it’s one of the least well known. 

I pick constantly. Most of the time I don’t even know I’m doing it until I break the skin and start bleeding. I don’t know exactly when this started, as I didn’t do it much as a young child, but it got worse into my pre-teen years when I remember my parents threatening to clip my nails short and make me wear gloves to sleep. After developing mild acne in my teenage years, I remember the embarrassment and shame of having small red dots of blood blossom on the shoulders of my shirts during stressful or boring classes. These days it’s a subconscious response to stress, of which I have a lot- catch me in the library, poring over my notes, scratching at razor burn on my leg. 

Unlike many other mental illnesses, dermotillomania doesn’t have the problem of being glamorized in the media. This is because people don’t know it even exists, but also because dermotillomania is everything harmful and troubling about mental illness grossly externalised in a way that isn’t so easy to digest. Sufferers are often made to feel weak, disgusting and unhygienic for what is perceived to be no more than a bad habit- like picking your nose or nail-biting. 

This World Mental Health Day, I’m raising awareness of this condition for those of you who might also be suffering with it, unaware of the fact that it’s not just an unhealthy habit you’ve picked up, and for those of you who are unaware of its existence at all. 

[girlaboutcampus]

I still want to be everything.

Last week I handed in my undergraduate dissertation. 

I have one semester left at St Andrews before I graduate this summer, and I’m no closer to knowing what I want to do than I was when I first stepped into a lecture theatre back in September 2014. Okay, that’s not exactly true- I now know that I want to do my Masters degree, but the question is where and what in? 

I’m struggling to find any courses in Scotland that really appeal to me, which complicates finding funding, as I can only get a loan if I stay here. If I were to stay in Scotland, it would probably be for the sake of getting my Masters, rather than to do the masters I really want to do. Then there’s choosing the Masters I want to do. Unlike most English students I don’t really have a “period” or movement that holds my interest more than others and my lack of Latin and Greek puts me into a little bit of a tricky place with Classics programmes. Right now I’m thinking a Renaissance lit / Shakespeare Studies MA is probably my best bet, but the creative side of me is also drawn to Playwriting and Screenwriting programmes. 

Unfortunately, most of the universities I am drawn to are down south, so it’s looking like I’ll have to take a year out to work to save up to pay for it, a prospect that freaks me out just a little bit. I’ve written a lot before about how wound up I can get during a long summer break, so a full year of staying at home with nothing in particular to do looms ahead of me, a faint panic already rising within me. If I do take a year out, I’ll need some kind of plan or a set of goals. 

The truth is that I struggle with the idea of closing doors- part of me still longs to become a doctor or astrophysicist, which, whilst maybe not impossible, became highly unlikely when I chose a literature degree four years ago. I was once chatting to one of my friends about this and she sent me this admittedly, but not unexpectedly, pessimistic Sylvia Plath quote: 

“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.” ― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

This resonated a lot with my fear. I know I’m not necessarily restricted in the way that I might have been had I been looking for a job a couple of decades ago, it still feels like you need to funnel yourself down one route to give yourself the best shot at getting a good job that you want. 

I graduate in just over six months, so I still have time to think and plan and decide.

I guess I have the rest of my life.

Shit.

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How the strikes have shown me what my education has been missing.

image credit: Akira O’Connor (@akiraoc on twitter) 

My alarm clock sprung to life, as it does every day, at 9a.m., filling my room with the dulcet sounds of Ariana Grande’s ‘Break Your Heart Right Back.’ What? I like to keep things upbeat in the morning. I roll over to hit SNOOZE, as I do every day, but am for some reason struck by a pang of guilt. Of course, I had said I would join in on a march around town in support of my striking lecturers, who stand to lose thousands every year as a result of reforms to the USS pension scheme. My hand moves from ‘SNOOZE’ to ‘STOP’ as if I’m possessed by some socialist ouija ghost and I force myself to get up, throw on my gym gear and jog into town, where I spot the red flags of the university’s socialist society disappearing around a corner in the distance. I pick up my pace to catch them up. 

Initially, there was an understandable backlash against the strikes from fee-paying students, who quickly set about calculating the loss they might be making through missed contact hours. I, as a home student, have the privilege of free tuition, but I could sympathise with disgruntled friends, especially rUK friends, who in making the decision to travel to Scotland for their educations had taken on an additional £9000 debt due to our four-year degree programme. I’ve seen and been taken in by the changing attitudes towards our educations as a service to be bought from the universities, increasingly businesses in their own right. I’ve come to realise these past few weeks that it is this commodification of our degrees that has been driving a wedge between lecturers and students since fee increases in 2012 and it’s affecting all of us, tuition fees or no tuition fees. 

Marching around the town on Thursday morning, we were met with beaming grins from striking staff, who expressed tremendous gratitude for tea, biscuits and moral support. Many took to Twitter, surprised and thrilled to see that students had come out to support them, despite losses to class time. Staff and student solidarity has led to busier pickets and lecturers have organised a ‘teach-out’- a series of off-campus lectures for students and the public to go along. Action-by-action, the wedge between students and staff created by fees has seemed to vanish, revealing something that has been missing from our educations.

I spoke to many first-year students at the start of the year who asked me what my biggest piece of advice was for making the most of their time at university. My instant unhesitating response was start getting to know your lecturers now. I didn’t manage to break down the teacher-student barrier until my final year and I realise now how daft that was. After all, at some point, they were undergraduate students too, studying for the exact same degree- you would probably be friends with them if you’d been at university at the same time. Every graduating student can tell you that the best seminars include coffee, biscuits and enthusiastic discussion between academic and students. What I didn’t realise until recently is that getting to know your lecturers doesn’t just benefit you, it’s mutually beneficial.

After contacting my striking lecturers to vocalise my support, I was surprised to find just how much they appreciated student solidarity. Their emails are full of apologies for missed classes and genuine regret that they won’t have the opportunity to teach their favourite material. Whilst at no point did I think my lecturers begrudged teaching, I think I thought that many of them saw it as just part of their job that went alongside their more interesting research work. At no point did I dream that they enjoyed it as much as I now realise they do. My mistake- I’m grateful to have it rectified. I hope that someday soon we can close the rifts opened up by rising tuition fees and enjoy more fulfilling degrees as a result. 

If you want to know more about how you can support striking staff at your university, here’s a handy twitter thread from Amelia Horgan detailing what you can do to help as a student. 

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