#girl who desperately needs attention even if its negative

[dorkfruit]

girl who wants to be involved so bad

[eyeofangelz]

HOW PYTHON SOCIETY SABOTAGED ITS FIRST EVER GROUP ─── AND WE LET THEM GET AWAY WITH IT.

the  smallest  child  can  crush  a  python  egg.  but  let  the  snake  hatch  and  grow  and  the  python  will  squeeze  and  devour  the  child   ───   do you remember monster rookies virago? don’t worry if not, not a lot of people do, they were covered very meticulously by the company that was supposed to manage and protect them but instead failed them.

python  society  opened  their  doors  to  trainees  on  a  tuesday.  it  was  raining,  several  trainees  left  the  floor  at  the  entrance  wet  due  to  their  umbrellas  or  lack  there  of.  there  were  twenty  trainees  there  that  day,  kyungsoo  would  only  choose  two  that  day  to  continue  training.  many  people  believe  in  luck  coming  with  the  rain,  but  was  joining  python society  luck?  or  was  it  a  cruel  twist  of  fate  to  those  who  fell  into  the  python’s  jaw?

it  was  raining  when  hong  kyungsoo  decided  to  make  python  society.  he  was  always  a  man  who  wanted  to  be  rich  but  never  wanted  to  work  for  it  himself.  finding  himself  working  a  9  to  5,  five  days  a  week  was  enough  to  push  him  over  the  edge  and  become  impulsive.  he  and  his  sister  were  drunk  at  a  bar  and  he  was  desperate  for  anyway  to  quit  his  job  and  still  get  rich.  he  drew  the  name  and  a  rough  logo  onto  the  napkin  he’d  just  used  to  wipe  the  ketchup  from  his  fingers  after  finishing  his  fries.  the  company  was  sloppy  and  unprofessional  from  the  start.

python  society  thankfully  found  success  almost  immediately.  debuting  the  four  girls  was  risky,  though  members  like  eunju  had  been  training  under  the  company  for  about a year,  yiru  had  just  gotten  to  south  korea  about  a  month  prior.  the  possibilities  of  failure  fell  upon  kyungsoo’s  deaf  ears.  he  couldn’t  stand  not  earning  much  money  anymore,  he  needed  a  group  to  bring  in  the  money.  and  that’s  what  virago  did, at least at first. debuting  in  2016,  the  company’s  only  girl  group (or group period),  virago  stole  the  title  of  monster  rookies  days  after  their  debut.  their  debut  was  random  and  rushed,  kind  out  of  nowhere.  barely  any  kpop  enjoyers  even  knew  that  python  society  existed,  and  with  no  teasers  or  any  build  up,  virago  just  . . .  appeared.  but  the  music  was  good,  if  nothing  else,  python  society  has  always  had  good  music.  something  that’s  protected  them  for  very  long.  virago  also  happened  to  be  handpicked  with  visuals  kyungsoo  knew  would  succeed,  knew  would  get  them  money,  knew  would  be  suited  for  sexier  concepts.

virago kept up their “girl crush” concept for one comeback before switching to become more sexy, to appeal to male audiences. it was subtle at first, the sound changing a bit, the girls’ skirts getting shorter, small stuff that can now be seen as concerning, but back then, were too small to bring negative attention. after all, the men, virago’s new intended audience, liked it. isn’t that what matters?

push came to shove with virago’s third release “miniskirt”. released on december 9th, 2016, at the time of the release, yiru was only recently 16, with the oldest member cori turning 21 a week later. the reaction was mixed of course. a lot of the male fans, and even some female fans were overjoyed, excited to have gotten the sexy concept they wanted without having to wait until everyone was legal, but everyone else was rightfully disgusted and upset. not only that kyungsoo would even think this was okay, but because on every single fancam of yiru’s (and some other members occasionally, but they were trained to “suck it up”) the girl looked extremely distressed and uncomfortable.

hong kyungsoo has never really solved a problem or faced controversy in his entire life, so instead of apologizing, changing the concept, pretty much anything, he decided to create another group to try and cover up the scandal, unfortunately succeeding. serenade took up all the attention from virago the second they were revealed and the build your boy virago, kyungsoo disbanded them quietly in november 2017, no vlive, no concert or tour, all of the social media just deleted, and their name erased off of the company’s website.

yiru and dahyun left the company sometime between 2018 and 2020, and the remaining two members, cori and eunju allegedly still under the company and netizens are hopefully awaiting their redebut in the company’s new girl group. do you feel like you failed virago? could we have done more? or were they to damaged to be saved?

[adportashq]

NAME: Rylan Savannah Pratt

PRONOUNS: She/Her

FACECLAIM: Zendaya Coleman

AGE: 26

SPECIES: Siren

RANK: None

OCCUPATION: Model

BIOGRAPHY:

Rylan had been called a Siren many times in her life, but mostly on set when she was in front of the camera. Photographers shouted it at her in an attempt to get her to perform better during her extensive modelling career, joking that she would reel people in with her enigmatic looks and siren song, but they couldn’t have been more on point when you stopped to think about it. After all, it was no coincidence the girl had enjoyed such a lucrative and successful career in the fashion industry; she just had that... pull.

Money bought you comfort, security, an education, designer clothes as well, but apparently, it couldn’t buy you security inside your own mind. If she had to hear the words ‘What do you have to be sad about?’ one more time, the chances are Rylan Pratt would go swinging for whoever’s mouth it had come out of because they were words she’d been hearing all her life. Born on the Upper East Side into a painfully wealthy socialite family, had it not been medically impossible, she’d have come out of her mother with a golden pacifier in her mouth. She sure as hell had one in it not long after.

Appearances being everything to Olivia and Kennedy Pratt, both sirens themselves who had emerged onto the land hundreds of years ago now only to infiltrate the big oil scene to both get rich as well as destruct it from the inside. After all, who better to bring down the biggest destructor of the ocean than the people who appeared to be running the industry from the top? No one would suspect, and because of this drive, they instilled into their daughter a need for perfection from a young age. They naturally sent Rylan to the most prestigious schools, the best after-school clubs, and had tutors to make sure she didn’t flunk out and embarrass the family. That was all good and well, but nothing really caught Rylan’s attention until she started playing piano as well as singing when she started high school - it gave her a freedom that she’d craved desperately longer than she’d even been aware of herself. Plagued by insecurity her entire life, her own mind had been a prison to her but when she closed her eyes to let the music carry her away, there was a small rest from that fog.

Her depression had started to develop around the time she hit puberty, fueled by body image issues that spilled over into other aspects of her life, including her own feelings of self-worth. Suddenly, she would get into such negative self-loathing mindsets that she would spend days at a time in bed, hiding out from the world, sometimes crying and sometimes just laying there staring at the ceiling. Obviously, her parents threw money at the problem, sending her to shrink after shrink who medicated her on and off, but nothing seemed to ever truly work enough to stop the depression from rearing its ugly head every so often. These days she is pretty fast and loose when it comes to taking her medication, as well as going to see her therapist. When she’s feeling good, the woman is convinced she doesn’t need one; it’s only when that crippling depression hits her like a school bus that she is in a position where she needs someone to talk to. The only problem is that those are the times, sometimes weeks in succession, where she doesn’t get out of bed. Not particularly helpful when it comes to her career as a model for many high-end brands and magazine spreads, the obvious choice of career for a girl plagued by insecurity. The industry was brutal, and more often than not she would end up lower than before in the wake of a shoot.

When she saw that a band was looking for a lead singer on a flyer one day while walking down Lexington, she felt a gravitational pull to audition for the position, which led to her joining their ranks. In fact, before she reached out to try and join, the girl had googled the other members that already held positions, just to know what she was getting into. Not needing to get a 'proper job' thanks to the comfortable nest egg her parents passed on to her every month and the highly paid advertising campaigns she landed every couple of months as the face of big brands, she could afford to spend her time writing her own music, but never had the confidence to strike out on her own. Not to mention, she felt loyal to the group she had joined, even if they weren’t wildly successful at the moment or at all. The only thing worse than striking out alone and falling down on her face would be to leave them behind for no reason. However, her lack of self-belief was standing in her way, as per usual.

Still, she was a vibrant young woman who loved to socialize, be out with friends, drink in the culture of New York City, and explore her own creativity through her music while keeping up to date with everything fashion. Writing songs for and about friends, family, situations she got herself into, anything that sparked her inspiration. Everything around her. It was only when she was hit with her depression and insecurity that the girl changed into a shell of herself. It could be hard to watch, according to people she had talked to about it in the past. The girl was a sweetheart, but that didn’t mean she didn’t have her fair share of people who didn’t like her, often because she felt threatened by them, so she would lash out before they got the chance to. Before they could tell her what she thought was the truth - that she wasn’t worthy of many of the things she had - she’d make sure they knew they weren’t either. It wasn’t a healthy way to communicate, but it was entirely involuntary.

Plagued with the pressures of looking good in front of the camera, which overflowed into her eating habits, an addiction to party drugs that had developed into something far more serious, and her need to numb her feelings with alcohol, Rylan was certainly not an easy person to be around sometimes. Known for her reckless behavior, she could be seen on the pages of gossip magazines stumbling out of nightclubs drunk, high, or more often than not, both. Most people saw rules as something to be attempted to follow, but Rylan, when in a manic state, saw them as something to be challenged. Thinking she was doing others a favor by turning them into sirens or entangling them into her web to bend to her will, when really she just loved having control over something, because she sure as hell didn’t have any over herself ninety percent of the time. Thus far, she has shown little interest in her parents' campaign for the Siren need to clean up the planet, but then again, she hadn't really been paying much attention either.

[rylanprattmodel]

SPOTTED: Is that (RYLAN PRATT) that I see over there? You know they have quite the reputation of being the (THE QUICKSAND) around town. The (26) year old has been around these parts for (ONE WEEK) and within that timeframe has landed themselves a job as a/an (MODEL) while living in (SYCAMORE APARTMENTS) I overheard that they can be quite (UNPREDICTABLE) but their saving grace is that they are (CHARISMASTIC).  Rumor has it (SHE HIDES HOW BAD HER PILL ADDICTION IS FROM EVERYONE), and it’s just a matter of time before everyone knows.

miscarriage tw, drugs tw, eating disorder tw, alcohol tw, anxiety tw, depression tw

Money bought you comfort, security, an education, designer clothes as well, but apparently it couldn’t buy you security inside your own mind. If she had to hear the words ‘what do you have to be sad about?” one more time the chances are Rylan Platt would go swinging for whoever’s mouth it had come out of because they were words she’d been hearing all her life. Born on the Upper East Side into a painfully wealthy socialite family had it not been medically impossible she’d have come out of her mother with a golden pacifier in her mouth. She sure as hell had one in it not long after.

Appearances being everything to Olivia and Kennedy Pratt so they naturally sent their daughter to the most prestigious schools, the best after school clubs, and had tutors to make sure she didn’t flunk out and embarrass the family. That was all good and well, but nothing really caught Rylan’s attention until she started playing piano as well as singing when she started high school - it gave her a freedom that she’d craved desperately longer than she’d even been aware herself. Plagued by insecurity her entire life her own mind had been a prison to her but when she closed her eyes to let the music carry her away there was a small rest from that fog.

Her depression had started to develop around the time she hit puberty, fuelled by body image issues that spilled over into other aspects of her life including her own feelings of self worth. Suddenly she would get into such negative self loathing mainframes she would spent days at a time in bed, hiding out from the world, sometimes crying and sometimes just laying there staring at the ceiling. Obviously her parents threw money at the problem, sending her to shrink after shrink who medicated her on and off, but nothing seemed to ever truly work enough to stop the depression from rearing its ugly head every so often. These days she is pretty fast and loose when it comes to taking her medication, as well as going to see her therapist. When she’s feeling good the woman is convinced she doesn’t need one, it’s only when that crippling depression hits her like a school bus that she is in a position where she needs someone to talk to. Only problem is that those are the times, sometimes weeks in succession, where she doesn’t get out of bed. Not particularly helpful when it comes to her career as a model for many high end brands and magazine spreads, the obvious choice of career for a girl plagued by insecurity. The industry was brutal, and more often than not she would end up lower than before in the wake of a shoot.

 Not needing to get a ‘proper job’ thanks to the comfortable nest egg her parents passed on to her every month and the highly paid advertising campaigns she landed every couple of months as the face of big brands, she could afford to spend her time indulging in her passions. Writing her own music mainly, but also partying her face off. Now she could do it while making some extra cash on the side and her naïvety left her not thinking about the repercussions that she could face being part of such a dangerous group.  

Rylan was with the same boyfriend for two years when he proposed to her at New Year, leading her to panic at the prospect of being tied to someone she … thought she loved for the rest of her life was terrifying. She’d been convinced they were made for each other for most their relationship but that had changed a few months earlier when she’d met his coworker and seen what love at first sight really was. The two of them ended up breaking up in the wake of the proposal to Rylan on New Year’s eve. Panicked by the level of commitment it involved she said no, literally running from the scene and into the arms of Nate Jones who she’d been with ever since.

Together for about a year when the couple fell pregnant they were terrified but ecstatic, Rylan not sure how the pregnancy would effect her modelling career but still wanting to keep the baby so the two of them could be a family. After all there had never been any secret about how much Nate wanted to be a dad. Sadly the first pregnancy ended in loss, as did the second, which threw the pair into a dark place - convinced a family wasn’t going to be on the cards for them. Rylan blaming her addiction even though she’d worked incredibly hard to get clean when she fell pregnant the first time - it lapsed significantly after the second loss. Their rainbow baby came in the form of Savannah Pratt who was born just under two years ago while the couple were still living in New York City. Rylan’s determination to stay with Nate regardless of everything had lead her parents to cut her off financially, after all a waiter as a husband and father to her child was hardly the image they wanted to project. 

The couple struggled through the first couple of years of parenthood together, Rylan suffering from postpartum depression that she wouldn’t have come out the other side of if it wasn’t for Nate. Sadly it still drove here to self medicate in line with her old habits although not as badly, this is something she’s been keeping from Nate. Actually she’s been keeping it from everyone around her - trying her best to look like a responsible mother even if the role is still one that scares her. She loves her daughter more than life itself and both parents would do anything to make their little angel happy. 

Still she was a vibrant young woman who loved to socialise, be out with friends, drink in the culture of New York City, and explore her own creativity through her music and keep up to date with everything fashion. Writing songs for and about friends, family, situations she got herself into, anything that sparked her inspiration. Everything around her. It was only when she was hit with her depression and insecurity that the girl changed into a shell of herself, it could be hard to watch according to people she had talked to about it in the past. The girl ia a sweetheart, but that didn’t mean she didn’t have her fair share of people who didn’t like her, often because she felt threatened by them so she would lash out before they got the chance to. Before they could tell her what she thought was the truth - that she wasn’t worthy of many of the things she had - she’d make sure they knew they weren’t either. It wasn’t a healthy way to communicate but it was entirely involuntary. 

Moving to Juniper for what the couple thought was a short stint because of Nate’s role as a stuntman in a movie (Something he’d been training hard for) they were doing their best to make a new life for their little family even without the budget the two of them were used to. Splitting the parenting duties so both could still pursue their careers that didn’t stop Rylan from picking up a part time job in a coffee shop to help supplement their income when she wasn’t away on modelling jobs - especially since Nate’s new schedule meant she couldn’t leave town on a whim just to take a modelling job, needing to be there with Savannah. 

Still plagued with the pressures of looking good in front of the camera after becoming a mother which overflowed into her eating habits, an addiction to party drugs that had developed into something far more serious, and her need to numb her feelings with alcohol, Rylan is certainly not an easy person to be around sometimes. 

[rylanspratt]

✘ ╱  better keep an eye on RYLAN PRATT whenever they are around. Some say the TWENTY FIVE year old made their name by being a DRUG SMUGGLER for THE COMMAND. Feared by their RECKLESS + UNPREDICTABLE tendencies, however, their CHARISMATIC + ENERGETIC side helps maintain the facade. Can be easily found in MANHATTAN working as A MODEL.

[ Depression tw, drugs tw, anxiety tw, eating disorder tw, alcohol tw ]

Money bought you comfort, security, an education, designer clothes as well, but apparently it couldn’t buy you security inside your own mind. If she had to hear the words ‘what do you have to be sad about?” one more time the chances are Rylan Platt would go swinging for whoever’s mouth it had come out of because they were words she’d been hearing all her life. Born on the Upper East Side into a painfully wealthy socialite family had it not been medically impossible she’d have come out of her mother with a golden pacifier in her mouth. She sure as hell had one in it not long after.

Appearances being everything to Olivia and Kennedy Pratt so they naturally sent their daughter to the most prestigious schools, the best after school clubs, and had tutors to make sure she didn’t flunk out and embarrass the family. That was all good and well, but nothing really caught Rylan’s attention until she started playing piano as well as singing when she started high school - it gave her a freedom that she’d craved desperately longer than she’d even been aware herself. Plagued by insecurity her entire life her own mind had been a prison to her but when she closed her eyes to let the music carry her away there was a small rest from that fog.

Her depression had started to develop around the time she hit puberty, fuelled by body image issues that spilled over into other aspects of her life including her own feelings of self worth. Suddenly she would get into such negative self loathing mainframes she would spent days at a time in bed, hiding out from the world, sometimes crying and sometimes just laying there staring at the ceiling. Obviously her parents threw money at the problem, sending her to shrink after shrink who medicated her on and off, but nothing seemed to ever truly work enough to stop the depression from rearing its ugly head every so often. These days she is pretty fast and loose when it comes to taking her medication, as well as going to see her therapist. When she’s feeling good the woman is convinced she doesn’t need one, it’s only when that crippling depression hits her like a school bus that she is in a position where she needs someone to talk to. Only problem is that those are the times, sometimes weeks in succession, where she doesn’t get out of bed. Not particularly helpful when it comes to her career as a model for many high end brands and magazine spreads, the obvious choice of career for a girl plagued by insecurity. The industry was brutal, and more often than not she would end up lower than before in the wake of a shoot.

When she was approached by someone regarding making some extra money on the side helping to shift the drugs she herself was addicted to - Rylan saw it as an opportunity to rebel against her parents. Playing the model on the outside but additionally using her trips abroad for shoots or fashion week to smuggle contraband back into the United States for The Command.   Not needing to get a ‘proper job’ thanks to the comfortable nest egg her parents passed on to her every month and the highly paid advertising campaigns she landed every couple of months as the face of big brands, she could afford to spend her time indulging in her passions. Writing her own music mainly, but also partying her face off. Now she could do it while making some extra cash on the side and her naïvety left her not thinking about the repercussions that she could face being part of such a dangerous group.  

Rylan was with the same boyfriend for two years when he proposed to her at New Year, leading her to panic at the prospect of being tied to someone she … thought she loved for the rest of her life was terrifying. She’d been convinced they were made for each other for most their relationship but that had changed a few months earlier when she’d met his coworker and seen what love at first sight really was. The two of them ended up breaking up in the wake of the proposal to Rylan on New Year’s eve. Panicked by the level of commitment it involved she said no, literally running from the scene and into the arms of Nate Jones who she’d been with ever since, although they’d been forced to keep their relationship secret until only about six months ago. He didn’t know of her involvement with The Command - Rylan not wanting to pull him down into that when her emotional baggage already caused him enough worry. 

Still she was a vibrant young woman who loved to socialise, be out with friends, drink in the culture of New York City, and explore her own creativity through her music and keep up to date with everything fashion. Writing songs for and about friends, family, situations she got herself into, anything that sparked her inspiration. Everything around her. It was only when she was hit with her depression and insecurity that the girl changed into a shell of herself, it could be hard to watch according to people she had talked to about it in the past. The girl was a sweetheart, but that didn’t mean she didn’t have her fair share of people who didn’t like her, often because she felt threatened by them so she would lash out before they got the chance to. Before they could tell her what she thought was the truth - that she wasn’t worthy of many of the things she had - she’d make sure they knew they weren’t either. It wasn’t a healthy way to communicate but it was entirely involuntary. Plagued with the pressures of looking good in front of the camera which overflowed into her eating habits, an addiction to party drugs that had developed into something far more serious, and her need to numb her feelings with alcohol, Rylan was certainly not an easy person to be around sometimes. 

[anashins]

The Right Kind of Wrong

Title: The Right Kind of Wrong

Pairing: Jaehyun x You

Genre: hate to love, cheating, college!au, friendship, romance, smut

Warnings: smut, cheating, cursing, toxicity

Word Count: 8.454

Summary: There are many reasons for you to hate Jung Jaehyun. Aside from being cocky and selfish, the fact that he is dating your best friend is another one of them. But his mesmerizing smile - to hell with it - just isn't.

____

There were at least a hundred things you hated about Jung Jaehyun.

The fact that he was dating your best friend was just one of them.

Not a single day had passed by in the last year in which she hadn’t complained about her boyfriend having flirted with another woman, having ditched her again, going to a party and ignoring her all night, or simply dragging her mood down by one of his unpredictable and hurtful actions.

Aside from being cocky, selfish, arrogant and reckless, Jung Jaehyun was absolutely incapable of being a decent human being for more than ten seconds, and you were wondering why he was so damn popular despite all his faults.

When you went out with your friend group, he mocked the boys trying to hit on you, telling you they were so desperate for that move. When you were attending the same class, he purposely sat down next to you to distract you from the lesson. When he was at your dorm, he kept moving your things onto high shelves, knowing you couldn’t reach them.

And his smirk everytime he did so… his smirk every time he mocked you was so annoying. But also so hot.

Fuck, you thought whenever his mischievious eyes met yours again, and you had to turn away, at a loss for words and afraid he’d caught you flushing. You were so ashamed, because you actually wanted to hate him.

There were many reasons for you to hate Jung Jaehyun, but his mesmerizing smile wasn't one of them.

You hadn’t hated him from the first moment that you two had officially met as you had gotten introduced to each other through your best friend who was also your dorm mate, though. She had found him on a dating app, and you had found him sitting in your class two days later, talking back to the professor.

Back then, you had started admiring his intelligence and courage. But those were the only two positive things you had spotted so far as you only tried to stay as far away from him as possible, emphasizing his negative character traits over and over again.

But the truth was that staying away from him was a very hard thing to do, and you fought every day for your sanity, trying to be a good friend and suppressing your controversial feelings for a man who was absolutely forbidden to you.

“He went drinking last night and I saw an instagram story of him grinding against another girl on the dancefloor!” your best friend complained in your arms, tears on the verge of flowing. “Who’s doing that even?!”

A few pairs of eyes turned into your direction, but when you threw fierce glances at the people staring at you, they passed by very quickly.

When you had been invited to your friend Johnny’s house party, you hadn’t expected to be spending the evening comforting your best friend, even though that had been your daily routine for the past three weeks.

It had grown toxicly usual for Jaehyun and her to fight in a two to three day rhythm over the smallest things, and although their wonky relationship or whatever it was hadn’t been very steady before with them breaking up nearly monthly, lately it had grown almost obnoxious.

“Why don’t you just break up with him?” you suggested again and immediately felt your heart sink.

It wasn’t like you wanted them to break up because you wanted Jaehyun for yourself. You’d never do that to her.

Your best friend was just constantly hurting, and it hurt you just as much when you saw her suffering so greatly. Jung Jaehyun wasn’t a good guy, and you both knew. Yet, she couldn’t let go of him. You knew exactly how that felt.

Even if they were to break up, he wouldn’t belong to you. Because a friend’s ex was a taboo. So having Jaehyun gone entirely from your lives would kill two birds with one stone.

“Not that again!” your friend whined and retreated from you, sinking into the couch with her arms crossed and no signs of tears anymore. “I can’t! I mean… look at him! He’s so hot, and don’t get me even started about his skills in bed. That’s where we usually make up, you know, so-”

“I’m going to get you something to drink!” you interrupted her and jumped up. “You totally need a cocktail now! To come to your senses!”

You loved your best friend dearly, but you didn’t want to hear about Jaehyun’s skills by all means. At some times, your friend didn’t have a filter, and then, it only spiraled downhill from there. You heard them often enough in the dorm, that was already pushing you to your limits.

When you entered the kitchen, you reached up to get a glass from the shelf, but like most of the times, you were too short for the remaining ones at the very top.

“Here, let me help you.”

A soft voice echoed from behind you, but before you could turn around to follow the tone, the guy had already heaved up his arm and reached over you to the very top of the shelf to get you a glass.

Shifting around, you faced the mischievous expression of the young man you had wanted to avoid and who your best friend was currently crying over.

Without a “thank you”, you reached out your hand to grab the glass from Jaehyun, but he immediately shot his arm up to bring the glass high over his head and far out of your reach.

“You think a simple ‘thank you’ is too much for you?”

“Fuck off, Jaehyun.” You crunched with your teeth and narrowed your eyes. “I’d rather die of thirst!”

“What did I do again?” He rolled his eyes in an annoyed manner as though his high spirits got ruined. “What did she tell you?”

“She told me everything she saw from last night!” you defended your friend. “That’s enough for me to get the picture!”

“Okay, and did the picture somehow include me pushing the girl away after she had grinded on me?”

You gulped.

“Just as I thought.”

He placed the glass on the counter, but somehow, this hadn’t got your both’s attention anymore.

“There are two sides of the same coin, yet all you've ever done was looking only at one.”

He approached you, and the rising hotness in your cheeks made you withdraw until your hips bumped into the kitchen counter.

Jaehyun leaned in and propped his arm against the same spot right next to your hip as he asked, “I know you’re her best friend, but being a friend doesn’t mean supporting your friends delusional, one sided thoughts into oblivion. Being a friend sure means to support, I’m not denying that. But being a true friend means to tell someone when they’re wrong. And I am not the one at fault here, y/n.”

“You were doing many stupid things to hurt her in the past!” you started blabbering just to bridge over the silence you’d get when you would stare at his mesmerizing eyes for a little longer. “How am I supposed to believe you?”

“You aren’t supposed to believe me.” He retreated, with the glass in his hand. “All I’m asking for is a chance to explain myself.”

Again, you were flabbergasted by the way he expressed his thoughts that stood in contrast to his questionable behavior. One of the main things that fascinated you. But you quickly turned this feeling into hate by recalling his wrongdoings from the night before.

Looking at the glass, Jaehyun continued, “Yes, there were many things I did wrong in the past. And I’m not going to pinpoint my finger at my girlfriend to tell that she was doing just as many questionable things as me. But people have reasons for doing the things they do. That’s probably why we’re such a good match.”

You didn’t understand a word. In your eyes, and you only knew about their relationship by what your friend told you and what you observed when you were hanging out, the two weren’t a good match at all.

He was the one constantly hurting her feelings, and she was the one to always get hurt.

Or... wasn’t it?

Jaehyun then thrusted the glass into your hand. “You’re lucky, y/n, you know that? It must be so great, living that freely, without any burdens… So oblivious to everything.”

With these words, he disappeared from the kitchen, leaving you behind all alone with the glass in your hand.

You looked at the item, your face getting reflected in the crystals to unrecognizability while Jaehyun’s words still kept you occupied. They had such an impact on you that you suddenly started to question whether your hate against him was actually valid.

When you stepped out of the kitchen yourself with a full glass of your best friend’s favorite cocktail in your hand, you found her in Jaehyun’s arms again, wildly kissing, his kind words suddenly vanished from your mind upon spotting them.

Instead, there was a little monster called jealousy sitting right inside your chest.

___

“8am in the morning! Who even places classes that early?!”

With a groan, Jaehyun flopped down in the seat next to you.

“Shut up, class is about to start.”

“Man, you must be really fun at parties,” he replied. “The professor is not even here yet.”

“You’re annoying, Jung Jaehyun, and if you weren’t dating my friend, I wouldn’t actually talk to you at all.”

“What are the odds we’re still connected to each other, huh! Tell me, y/n, what did I ever do to you? How did I ever hurt you? We’ve never even really spoken with each other ever since we’ve gotten introduced.”

“And I am grateful for this every single day.”

“What is it that you hate about me so much?” he questioned further, his eyes challenging.

But with your eyes straight ahead and no words on your lips, you ignored him as the professor entered the room only a short moment after, announcing the class’ start.

Your pen flew over the sheet, noting down the professor’s words when suddenly, goose bumps spread all over your arm.

When your eyes followed the trail to its source, your right elbow touched Jaehyun’s left one as a result of your hectic writing motions as you had moved too far to the side. The spot on your skin was so warm and so…

You withdrew your arm right away, placing it back to where it usually belonged, but Jaehyun’s own limb had moved so far to the left that you had no place to rest it next to your notes anymore without having his skin barely one inch apart from you. You weren’t touching anymore, but he was so close that you still felt him somehow.

Of course you could drop your arm and place it on your lap as the professor had stopped presenting the most important points of this lesson. Of course you could just move further away with your entire belongings, but the fact was that you didn’t. That you couldn’t.

Instead, you were fixating your eyes on the board right in front of you, listening to your professor’s words but not actually understanding a single syllable that he uttered as your heart beat fast against your chest.

You hoped that Jaehyun didn’t notice how desperate you were for him not to shift away right now. That you actually enjoyed it, but felt so much hatred at the same time. Not against him, but against you - for feeling this way.

“Can you answer my question, Miss y/n?”

Your eyes widened in shock as you got addressed by the professor by your surname. You were actually a good student who was always paying attention in class. Under normal circumstances, this wouldn’t have happened. But now you got caught red handed not listening to him, and he was a very strict lecturer.

“I… um…” you stuttered.

“The answer to my question, Miss.”

“Yes… the answer…” You gulped as you didn’t even know the question. “The answer is…”

From the corner of your eyes, you perceived how a sheet was slowly moving into your direction from Jaehyun’s place. His finger was pointed at a paragraph that you had also noted down only shortly before.

Suddenly, you knew what the question was about and answered formally to the professor’s task.

With your heart having calmed down after the shock, you let yourself sink down on your seat again. You had gotten distracted only once by something that shouldn’t bother you at all.

This wouldn’t happen again, you swore to yourself.

____

“No ‘thank you’ again from you?”

You turned around to Jaehyun who had rosen a brow at you. “Is this becoming your thing now? Asking for ‘thank yous’?”

“Is this becoming your thing now?” he returned. “Not saying ‘thank you’? I saved your ass in class.”

“Well, I haven’t asked for that, so go beg somewhere else for attention.”

You made your way through the crowded club, feelling the bass under your feet and the techno music in your ears. Jaehyun was following suit.

“Do you want some kind of reward from me? Because you’re not going to get it.”

“I don’t want a reward. Hey.”

He reached out and grabbed you by your arm, right there on the dancefloor. The feeling from this morning returned, but in a higher intensity as it spread all over your body.

“All I’m asking for is respect.”

You snorted. “Respect? Do you respect my friend when you destroy her weekend plans to go drinking with your friends instead? Do you respect my friend when you dance ass on ass with another girl? Do you respect my friend when you hurt her feelings with your rude words? I don’t like you, Jung Jaehyun, because you’re a bad person, and respect is the last thing you’ll ever get from me!”

You yanked yourself out from his grip and disappeared in the mass. What was up with him? Why was he bothering so much lately and evoking all these controversial feelings inside you by acting like this? He should just stay away.

With your eyes closed, you started to move with the music, all by yourself there on the dancefloor. You wanted to collect your thoughts, but as the music flooded through your body, you realized that thinking about nothing was probably the best way to cope with your inner struggles right now.

You opened your eyes widely when you suddenly felt a hand on your bum.

Turning around with much anger reflected in your mien, you stared at a boy around your age who grinned at you seductively. Your fierce gaze was probably mistaken for an invitation when he approached you further, grabbed you by your hips from the front and pressed you against him.

With his lips on your ear, he whispered, “I like what I see.”

And you wanted to scream. You probably did, but it got drowned out by the loud music, and his grip was way too hard for you to free yourself that easily as you shuffled in his arms.

“Let me go!”

Yet, his hands roamed around your private areas like they owned it.

“HEY!”

Before you could scream once more, the guy got dragged away from you by the last person you had expected it from.

“She said let go of her, you asshole!”

Jaehyun grabbed him by his collar, and his height and angry expression alone were probably enough for the other guy to nearly piss his pants as he hastily mouthed,

“I’m so sorry!”

When Jaehyun let go of him, he slipped off silently and wasn’t seen again.

You stood there awkwardly with your arms hugging your chest, still digesting the happenings.

“Did he hurt you?” Jaehyun asked when he leaned in for you to understand better.

You shook your head.

“Do you want to go outside?”

You nodded.

Jaehyun took you by your hand to lead you through the dancing crowd, and you didn’t protest.

This gesture was the total opposite to the disgusting one from the guy who had harassed you shortly before. This touch was raw and chaste. Nothing to be ashamed of and fight against, but something you wanted to accept wholeheartedly.

When you stood outside of the club, Jaehyun let go of your hand, and you finally whispered the words that he had been longing to hear for quite a time,

“Thank you.”

Against your expectations, he didn’t mock you or return witty words. With his eyes locked with yours, he sincerely told you,

“You’re welcome.”

That was the moment it dawned on you that Jung Jaehyun had more positive sides to him that you had always wanted to blend out. But perhaps, you had reached a point in which this wasn’t possible anymore.

You couldn’t continue keeping your eyes closed to all the kind sides of him. Because the more he showed you, the more you’d open your heart for him.

To you, Jung Jaehyun had to remain a bad person, otherwise you’d fall for him, and falling for your best friend’s boyfriend was a taboo.

“Hey, what are you two doing outside?!” Speaking of the devil, your best friend jumped out of the club’s door and into your direction. “Isn’t the music fun?”

Jaehyun looked at you, waiting for your reaction. You knew that if you wanted to go home, he’d follow. If you wanted to stay, he’d stay too, not letting you out of his sight. Because - and you couldn’t repeat this often enough - Jaehyun was actually a good person.

“I want to go home,” you decided. “You can stay, though! Please just let me be the party pooper all alone, I don’t want to spoil your night.”

“Oh, what a pity!” your friend said with a pout. “You always leave when the party is about to start!”

You shrugged with a weak smile, tired of fighting. “Yeah, I guess so. But I still have a lot of pages to revise.”

“Shall we take you back to the dorm?” Jaehyun offered in a caring voice that you apparently encountered for the first time, and your friend immediately shot a reproachful glare at him.

“Are you being serious right now?” she complained. “She’s a grown ass woman who can go home alone!”

His eyes hadn’t left yours. “I’m talking to her, not you.”

Had it always been like this? Her caring about herself more than about you? If it were the other way around, you wouldn’t let her go home alone in the middle of the night, no matter if you knew something had happened before or not.

Suddenly, you saw your best friend from a whole other perspective. Suddenly, she was the one having Jaehyun on a leash, and he was the one fighting back for his rights, not against her.

Two sides of the same coin… If you were to flip it, would your entire world view change?

For a moment, you hesitated. But not wanting to disturb your friend’s evening, you gave in with a, “It’s okay, I can go alone. Have a nice night!”

But Jaehyun held you back when he insisted on calling you an uber for which he even paid while your best friend continued pouting on the side.

____

“FUCK YOU, JAEHYUN!” you heard your best friend scream later that night from her room, every syllable of hers clearly to hear in your own room while you laid in bed later that night.

The hours before had passed by in a trance as you had only fallen onto your mattress face forward after having quickly changed into your pj’s, that was how much of a toll the day had taken on you.

You just wanted to forget what had happened in the club, but also the thoughts that had constantly been in your mind all the way home that only revolved around Jaehyun. So sleep was the best solution, and you would have gladly continued doing so if there weren’t your best friend and Jaehyun arguing loudly next to you for an hour already.

Then, Jaehyun seemed to return something to which she screamed again, “I DON’T FUCKING CARE!”

Stomping followed the brief silence, a door getting opened, then shut again, and footsteps moved into the direction of the entry door before it fell close behind Jaehyun.

This was a nearly weekly experience for you lately, and usually, you’d just miss hearing their arguments, but this time you couldn’t help but to wonder what they had been yelling about. You just hoped it wasn’t because of you and what had happened to you earlier, because in your eyes, Jaehyun had done nothing wrong.

He had been so incredibly nice and thoughtful that you started to doubt their relationship.

You turned in your bed, wanting to fight those thoughts so badly. Jaehyun was your best friend’s boyfriend, and hence, forbidden fruit for you. But you just couldn’t stop your imagination from running now.

What it would be like in your best friend’s place and get treated like this every day, and the worst part was that you didn’t even feel bad about betraying her in your mind.

Fuck, you only thought and sat straight up in bed, now surely not being able to grasp a light thought to accompaby you back to lseep anymore.

Feeling safe to leave your room ten minutes later as your roommate must have fallen asleep by now, you didn’t think about sleep anymore but wanted to get a glass of water from the kitchen to calm yourself down.

Perhaps, tomorrow, you’d have another look at the entire situation, you tried to convince yourself. After a few more hours of sleep, all these confusing thoughts and feelings might have already been forgotten.

“Cannot sleep yet?”

You turned around and found a half naked Jaehyun only dressed in boxers right in front of you. The empty glass of water in your hands got placed back on the counter with shaky fingers.

“What are you doing here?” you contered.

“Well… she suddenly left.” He shrugged. “We’ve been arguing. You sure haven’t missed that one.”

“I didn’t.”

Still, you were wondering what that was all about, but didn’t want to ask. He lifted the weight off your shoulders himself though.

“It was about you.”

“Oh…?” You gulped.

“When you were gone, I went back to that guy and didn’t let him go that easily. They threw me out of the club and your friend thought I'd ruined the night for her.”

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

You wanted to make your way around him, but he blocked your way as he didn’t move to make space for you to pass by the door.

“What’s making me a bad person, y/n?” Jaehyun suddenly asked. “ The way I saved you in class? In the club? Tell me.”

“You cannot be serious right now. It’s 5am, draw a number for another day.”

You wanted to slip under his stretched out arm, but he moved his body to block you again. “Number one. Now tell me.”

“Because those have been the only times you were nice to me, Jung Jaehyun!” You clenched your fists, breathing in deeply. “When we go out with our friend group, you mock the boys trying to hit on me, telling them they’re so desperate for that move!”

“Because I heard them speaking about you before,” he declared. “They were not looking for something serious but only fun, one had even placed a bet. I tried to spare you from this embarrassment and eventual lovesickness. Go on.”

“When we’re in the same class, you purposely sit down next to me to distract me from the lesson!”

This one let him smirk. “Because I always saw you sitting there alone. You have no friends in that class, and I thought you might need some company. Besides… I knew you couldn’t afford that book we needed, and I purposely always shoved it into your direction when the professor read from it. Have you never noticed?”

Now you have. And you were flabbergasted.

“Wh… when,” you stuttered, “you’re over here, you always move my stuff onto high shelves, knowing I cannot reach them!”

“Because I love to see the defeated look on your face and your cute pout when you have to ask me to get the things for you.”

You didn’t know what to say further as you stood there, frozen on the spot. You hadn’t seen this answer coming.

“Anything else?”

Yes, there were many things you hated him for, and you wanted to throw them all into his face, but as he was standing there in front of you, not even one more came into your mind.

“I just hate you to the core!” you hissed.

But with calmness in his voice, he only turned, “No, you don’t.”

And then, it was all only a blur.

You wanted to push him away, but instead, you found yourself nudging against his body. You wanted to free yourself from his grip, but instead, you wrapped your arms around him. You wanted to escape from his kiss, but instead, you kissed him back in the same passionate manner he kissed you.

Jaehyun’s hands roamed all over your lightly covered body while his lips moved against yours, touching every spot he had missed out on during the entire time he knew you, because you had always pushed him away.

But now that you had opened up to him, you were scared the time window was about to close very soon, so you had to work fast.

You jumped on him, hooking your thighs around his waist while his hands instantly clung around your buttocks to give you the support he needed to carry you to your bedroom. Your hands remained interlaced on the back of his neck when he placed you onto your bed and laid himself between your legs.

Thrown overboard were all your morals, priorities, and the friendship to the person that meant the world to you. You didn’t want to think about all that, but were longing for him so desperately that you wondered for how long you had been suppressing that desire already.

Jung Jaehyun was hot. But he was a bad person.

Or… wasn’t he?

You desperately ground upwards against him, feeling him growing between your legs, and you brought your hands down to massage his length. Jaehyun interrupted your kiss as he hadn’t expected this move to come, and groaned into your ear.

You smirked triumphantly, your hands kneading muscles until he was pressed hard against your palms. Tucking your fingers into the waistband of his boxers, you slid the garment from his hips, revealing his bum. Your hands glided along his curvy, soft mounds, grabbing into them like you were testing ripe peaches.

Jaehyun was pecking your lips as you slid your hands under his body again and closed around his entire girth. He stopped for a moment, but the second he continued on, you started moving your hands, top on top, along his length.

Not being able to concentrate on the feeling down there and kissing you simultaneously anymore, you perceived how Jaehyun got weak with supporting his body on his own arms that he had rested to the left and right of your head. So you decided to take the lead from here on.

Sitting up yourself, you put your palms on Jaehyun’s chest and pushed him backwards onto the mattress. He watched you with surprised eyes, but didn’t protest as you sat on his thighs, eyeing his member with much anticipation.

You slid further down his legs, nearly close to his ankles, and bowed down. With your fingers wrapped around the base of his dick, you led him to your mouth. First letting the tip pass by your lips, then his entire length up until the very middle.

You only heard him swearing, “fucking shit,” before Jaehyun covered his face with his arm placed over his eyes and his other clasping the sheet by his side. Your hair grazed over the area around his navel while you moved your head up and down, cautiously slow at first to give yourself time to adapt to his length.

Then, you started bobbing your head, increasing the speed with every time you came up and nearly let him slip out, your fingers that had closed around him sliding in the same rhythm, adding to the pleasure. The slurping noises that came along with this act filled the room until they got drowned out by Jaehyun’s moans.

He directed his hand towards your head and grabbed it by the back, ruffling your hair between his fingers while he started to thrust upwards, meeting you halfway in the fast motions. Like this, he was able to reach deep within you, but still not far enough so that he could hurt you.

When you witnessed him twitching his legs, you stopped, held him still by the base and decided to tease him further a bit before you allowed him to release himself. With the tip of your tongue, you touched his glans, trailed along the slip and then circled around the entire top part.

Jaehyun’s swearing words came in a never ending trail like a waterfall that you couldn’t really understand all syllables from, but you were sure you did a good job and rewarded him for being patient with the motions from before again, but this time with added pressure and passion.

Suddenly, he grabbed you by your arm, urging you to stop.

“Or else I’m gonna cum,” he said and sat himself up, flipping you around so that you laid under him again.

Hastily, you got rid of your top while Jaehyun worked on your sleeping shorts until shortly after, you were both lying naked on top of each other. You wanted him desperately inside you, because you just didn’t know when you’ve had had sex the last time, but instead of wanting to get through this fast, Jaehyun took his time.

That was when you realized that this entire joining was probably more to him than just sex to get it off. You had thought that because he hadn’t been able to get it tonight from your best friend, he’d take it from you. But the way he touched you insisted otherwise.

If it wasn’t more than just sex, he wouldn’t trail his fingers over your ribcage in feathery-light motions, admiring every inch of your body. If it wasn’t more than a body-focused act, he wouldn’t place soft kisses not only on your mouth, but also onto your forehead, your cheek, your neck… If it wasn’t more, Jaehyun wouldn’t be so damn thoughtful and tender.

He remained his tenderness and his gaze didn’t leave your eyes as well when he finally nudged between your thighs, pushing forward until he filled you up to the brim.

Restraining himself from starting to move right away, Jaehyun took his time to ask you whether you were okay at first when you let out a quiet “oh” that alarmed him. But you were eager to calm him down when you explained that it was only because you hadn’t been with a man in so long, and somehow, after speaking it out, it made you feel embarrassed.

As the boyfriend of your best friend, he’d surely know when you had been in contact with a man the last time, and you hated yourself for being so pressured by society to feel ashamed of who you were and how you lived your life.

But instead of judging you, Jaehyun only nodded and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, and suddenly, you were flooded with such a warm feeling towards him that you nearly cried. Rarely had you encountered a man so considerate and caring.

“Tell me when I can go on.”

You bit your lip and felt the uncomfortable pressure in your nether regions getting replaced by a feeling that you hadn’t encountered in so long. A feeling that made you want more, want him.

Holding onto his shoulders with both of your hands, you nodded back at him with a smile which he then returned. When Jaehyun started thrusting in and out of you, your eye contact didn’t break, and you were sure that right now, you were looking at the real Jaehyun at this very moment.

Not the guy you hated. Not the guy your best friend was dating. But instead the person who wanted to protect you from guys that only wanted to use you. A person who offered you company in class and shared his equipment with you. And a person whose cheekiness and affection he showed through childish acts because he didn’t know how to express his feelings otherwise.

This was not the person you were sure of knowing all along. Probably because you hadn’t even gotten to know him in the first place.

One arm now clung around his neck while with the other, you grabbed the pillow beside you. You threw your head back in excitement, his pushes coming in short intervals one after another, and he was hitting all the right spots with them.

Jaehyun propped his arms up to the left and right of him, lifting his upper body to gather all his strength in his groin area and stopped for a brief moment before he thrusted inside you with such force that it nearly knocked all air out of your lungs, and you couldn’t respond with anything else than moaning.

It felt so good, so… right. But how could something so wrong still feel so right?

Right now, you didn’t hate Jaehyun or your best friend the most, but yourself and the fact that you continued on and on. That you brought your hips up to meet his thrusts with hazy thoughts and his lips all over yours when he slowed down with his movements to dedicate himself to caressing your breasts.

You felt Jaehyun’s hot tongue swirling over your buds, and you shook under him. Not because it felt cold, but because his tender caresses just felt so good. You didn’t have the feeling that he could do anything wrong with whatever he carried out, that was your impression about how well your bodies meshed together.

No, you didn’t hate Jaehyun. You had always only hated how he had presented himself to you. But there was so much more to him.

Sweat droplets showed on his forehead when he continued with the hard thrusts again, the sound of you both breathing heavily mixing together with the sloppy noises of your bodies moving against each other filling the room, but no matter how messy sex was, it was the most romantic thing you had experienced in a long time.

Your eye contact also didn’t break when Jaehyun arose above you, his sweaty chest glistening in the dim light that shone through your windows, and increased his pace even more. When he dropped his head and bit his lip in the process, you wrapped your arms around him and added pressure to your nether regions as you felt him approaching his heights.

It felt very good to you too, but you were by any means not as far as him yet, so you didn’t blame him when he came only a short moment after with a groan that sounded sexy as hell to you.

You held him tightly when he fell limply onto your chest, still breathing heavily from the orgasm that slowly faded. Staring at the ceiling, you smiled with him in your arms, just enjoying the moment when Jaehyun moved away from you.

“We’re not done here yet,” you saw him grin as he laid himself next to you, rolled onto the side and placed his head in his palms as he propped his elbow against the mattress.

You wondered what was to come when you felt his finger tips dragging from your thighs to your navel, then lower again and stopped right at your most sensitive spot.

“Oh!” you let out as he placed two fingers on your folds and started moving them up and down with your remaining juices as lube that made the intense feeling kick in almost immediately.

You screamed when he added pressure and now directed circling motions around the sensitive bundle of nerves. From your half-closed eyes, you witnessed him looking at you with such admiration but also cheekiness as you writhed and wreathed under him, yet spread your legs even wider as release was so close.

Jaehyun leaned in to you, his fingers not letting go of the continuity as he half covered your body with his and just kissed you passionately. Like this, he encountered first hand how the orgasm took over you, and you moaned into his mouth, riding it out against his hand.

It felt like the most natural thing in the world when he wrapped his arms around you right after and pulled you onto his chest, and you drifted off into a slumber shortly after.

Even though the first tendencies of your bad consciousness set in before you closed your eyes, you decided that this would be the problem of tomorrow.

No, you didn’t hate Jung Jaehyun.

If anything, you should probably hate yourself.

___

“YES… YES… YESYESYES, OHMYGOD!”

You heard your friend from the other side of the wall, having rudely awakened you in the early morning hours. At least you thought so. But a glimpse at your phone through sleepy eyes told you that it was past 11am already.

Within a second, you were wide awake.

You were still naked, but the clothes on your floor only belonged to you, and the spot next to you in the bed was empty.

“OH!MY!GOD!.... YES! OH… OH.... AAAAH… OHOHOH… YES!!”

Jaehyun was gone. At least from your room.

Your best friend’s headboard constantly bumped against the wall, and you grabbed your pillow to cover your ears with it. You didn’t want to hear the sounds. Not because they stole your sleep, but because somehow, for the first time, you didn’t feel disturbed by the noise, but actually hurt.

In your mind, you imagined Jaehyun’s mesmerizing smile, the witty expression he was constantly wearing and his deep voice that had showed you for the first time last night that there was a certain softness within it.

You felt hurt, because you knew all the things from last night had been real between you two, yet he was still fucking your best friend mere hours later. What you had shared and felt had been special, yet he was still with her.

And suddenly, you felt hate again. But towards yourself. For betraying your best friend with him. But first and foremost, for betraying yourself.

You had never hated Jung Jaehyun.

You had always felt some certain kind of attraction towards him, but kept telling yourself you hated him to push him as far away from you as possible. If this wouldn’t be so wrong under these circumstances, this attraction would feel right and could blossom. But like this, you could never come to enjoy this feeling entirely.

Your relationship had been doomed from the very start, because given the wicked circumstances, you would never be able to form a healthy relationship. It was like a stain that would never vanish on a white sheet.

So you just decided to continue as usual. To keep this a secret between the both of you and just to carry on with your life.

And to hate Jung Jaehyun just a little more.

You just didn’t know how to feel and act towards your best friend without feeling so much… regret.

“Good morning.”

But the young man stepping out of your best friend’s room wasn’t Jaehyun. But Johnny.

You sat there in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, your mouth agape. And then it started to rattle in your head.

Lately, there were times when your best friend had screamed the name “Jaehyun!” loudly during the act. Those were the times you had actually seen him the next morning. But the nights she hadn’t screamed a certain name, no one had ever come out. And those times, you had counted more than the ones with Jaehyun in the past weeks, just when their loud arguments started on a nearly daily basis.

“Where’s Jaehyun?” you asked without greeting her good morning as you walked into her room.

“Oh, we had a fight last night,” she explained to you while getting herself dressed casually. “And then we broke up. I went away to be with Johnny after throwing him out, and we’ve only gotten back this morning. I hope he left last night already and didn’t stay here.”

“What?” you wondered.

“Yeah.” She shrugged. “I’ll get over it.”

“You actually already got over it as I’ve seen!”

“Oh, Johnny?”

“You’ve been fucking him for weeks already?” you provoked.

She shrugged again. “Perhaps a month… So what?”

You stood there, totally lost for words. “You’ve been crying about Jaehyun to me ever since you got together! That he flirted with other women, ditched you, went to parties and ignored you! And now you’re telling me you’ve been cheating on him for quite a while?! And this instagram story drama from last week?”

She sighed and flopped down onto the bed. “Okay, admittedly, I’m not an angel in this story, but he is by far neither! He was not. There were many things he has done wrong in the past. But then he actually started… doing nothing wrong. Being the picture perfect boyfriend without all these flaws and drama. And perhaps, this is not something that I want, so I started to look around elsewhere.”

“So…” You paused, still processing the shock. “Was it all an act? All the times you’ve cried to me over him lately while cheating behind his back?”

“Not an act, precisely,” she said reluctantly. “Yes, he explained every situation to me. And I was being dramatic over it for nothing, perhaps. I don’t know… I still enjoyed being with him though, but it just didn’t feel right anymore. I want to have men just… telling me I’m right, always coming back to me… what’s a relationship without fire? But Jaehyun didn’t want to do this anymore.”

In your head, you recalled everything that Jaehyun had told you. About there being two sides of the same coin, about you being so oblivious. All this time, he knew that she had cheated on him. He knew what you thought of him, yet he had never made a move to ever explain it to you.

But why?

“As he should,” you then stated. “How you treated him was awful!”

“Only because I cheated on him a few times?” she chuckled. “Come on!”

“I’m your best friend, and yet you lied to me! You twisted and turned stories so that you’d always be the one at right! But the truth is, you’re the bad person here. Not him.”

“Now what? He’s gone from our lives. Don’t care about him.”

But the truth was, you did. Now more than about her.

That was why, an hour later, you found yourself in front of his dorm. When he opened shortly after you had knocked, you stared at him, still gasping for air as you had run the entire way here, with all the memories from last night coming back with each step.

“She’s been cheating on you,” were the only words you brought out.

“I know.”

“For how long?” you asked.

“I assume for just as long.”

You breathed in heavily, not understanding a word. “But why did you stay with her?”

Jaehyun smiled meekly. “Because I don’t think I deserve a good person like you are.”

It ran hot and cold down your back. “I… I don’t understand.”

He leaned against the door frame with crossed arms, and even though he seemed uncomfortable talking about his feelings, he still did.

“I haven’t been the best boyfriend for her most times in this relationship, I admit this openly. We weren’t really good for each other and it destroyed me to the point that I wanted to change. But when I started being the boyfriend she had wished for, it wasn’t right either and she started cheating. So I just settled with it. Because I thought I screwed up to that point where I won’t be able to make anyone happy anymore and also don’t deserve the same in return. Even though I only wanted you...”

“You douche!” You stomped with your feet on the ground.

“What?” he returned perplexed with furrowed brows.

“Everyone deserves love and to love! And you’re not different from anyone else!”

His confusion got replaced with a mild smile. “You’re so kind, y/n. That’s one of the things I like the most about you. But you’re also oblivious.”

Jaehyun pulled out his phone, scrolled through his messenger and started playing a voice message from a very familiar person.

“Why do you even care about this bitch, Jaehyun?!” In the background, you heard music and other people talking. “She’s a stupid nerd, and I’ve only befriended her because she helps me studying and listens to my complains since we’re dorm mates, so don’t even waste a single thought about this party pooper!”

You stood there as though you had been rendered motionless. Your heart had dropped to your feet.

“This is from last night when I quickly went outside again to check whether you rode away safely with your uber and she couldn’t find me directly. That’s why we argued and broke up. No, it’s not the first time she’s talked about you like this.” He put his phone away. “I thought letting you hate me would make it easier for a kind person like you to keep their distance from someone like me. Because, in the end, I will only hurt you too. But the more I started to genuinely like you, the more I felt protective towards you. I couldn’t see her speaking about you like this anymore.”

Your breathing came in hitches as your whole world suddenly crashed over you. Your best friend wasn’t your best friend. She had probably never been.

You stumbled backwards, and Jaehyun stepped forward to grab you by your arm, but you pulled it away.

“I…. I just…” you stuttered. “I have to… talk to her.”

“Sure.”

The whole way home, you only cried.

Not over Jaehyun, but over the betrayal of someone you had considered your best friend, yet had hurt you in the most painful way like no man ever could. And the fact that you had been an asshole to her to the same extent after having slept with her boyfriend the same night they had broken up was probably the final straw.

You were no saint here. You had added to your both’s downfall just as much. And it hurt much more than any heartbreak you had experienced so far.

You had to sort your life out and right now, and amongst this chaos there was no place for Jaehyun in your life.

____

You put the last vase with dried flowers on your shelf, stepped backwards to your room’s door and inspected the final set up.

“Finished!” you praised yourself.

It had taken you three months to move to a new dorm, but this was your last step to a new chapter in your life.

You hadn’t had contact with your former best friend ever since your final conversation in which you had handed the keys over to her. The many conversations before had only consisted of screams, accusations and tears.

She had admitted to saying all those things about you, but also to genuinely have come like you. You weren’t so sure whether that was real or one of her lies again. You had admitted to sleeping with Jaehyun, and she would have forgiven you for that as she hadn’t been really in love with him anymore at this point, but you were sure you didn’t want either in your life anymore.

Your best friend because she had hurt you deeply, and Jaehyun because of your burdensome history. All of you had done so many wrong things, and you were only a bundle of toxic people together, so chaotic that you were better off apart from each other.

But you didn’t want to be this toxic kind of person anymore. So you moved out and left your old life behind.

You didn’t go to that class with Jaehyun anymore, and although you missed him, the touches of your joint night still present on your skin sometimes, you wanted to move on from even the mere imaginations of him as well. You were sure that you’d find a guy just like him, but you missed him wherever you went and couldn’t help but ask yourself “what if?”

The fact that he hadn’t reached out to you either made it easier, and as summer break came and passed, and the new semester started, you had kissed two news guys already, made a new friend group and were just overall happy.

But you still missed Jaehyun dearly and all the possibilities of what could have happened if only your timing had been right in life. Even if he wasn’t the right one for you.

“Is this seat taken?”

And then, one day, there he was again. Taking the seat next to you as though no time had ever passed between the two of you, smiling that mesmerizing smile you didn’t hate.

You only stared at him, and his kind expression didn’t break. When you moved your head to the front again where the professor introduced himself, you couldn’t help but to smile too. Because this wasn’t the expression of a bad person.

People changed, and just like good traits could turn into bad traits, a bad person could turn into a good one also. And they all deserved a second chance.

You had only known the Jaehyun from your best friend’s perspective, and then also his body. But even though you had gotten a glimpse of the real Jaehyun here and there, you didn’t quite know him entirely yet.

But you wanted to. The good, the bad, the real. Jaehyun wasn’t the right one for you, but such a thing didn’t exist. What mattered were only your feelings.

Because in fact, you didn’t hate Jung Jaehyun. At all.

[tothemeadow]

Can I request a uzui x shy reader where reader is his fourth wife but she feels left out a lot so she distance and avoid Tengen and her co-wives. When reader comes home one day she surprised to find uzui home by himself because he was meant to be out with the others and she was going to try avoid him again but as he wants an answer to why shes acting the way she is and turns into a smut in the end? :>

Did I get carried away with this? Maybe. Could I have written more? Absolutely. But I have to practice self-control.

‘i want to be part of your constellation’ / Uzui T. x Reader

warnings: NSFW, cunnilingus, Tengen’s fat tiddies

words: 2,492

-

Sometimes, being a Pillar’s wife is hard. They’re constantly away, fighting battles and saving lives; there’s always that lingering chance that they may never come back. It’s a dangerous life, but a respectful one nonetheless.

This is what drew you to Tengen in the first place – despite his brash, asshole attitude, he’s selfless. It was during an attack at your parents’ farm when you first met him; appearing like a night in shining armor, he rescued you from a bloodhungry demon, his movements powerful yet graceful all at once. As a thank you, your parents offered your hand in marriage to the handsome stranger. Surprisingly, Tengen agreed, but it wasn’t like you were going to deny marrying someone of his status and exquisite looks.

However, you didn’t know about the other women in Tengen’s life. As you quickly found out, he had three other wives, all of who he met while in the shinobi forces. Of course, you weren’t a fighter like them, nor did you have that close relationship from sharing the same background. No, you were the docile one of the group, the one meant to take care of the home while the others went to fight demons and the like.

Even two years later, things haven’t changed. You love Tengen, and the other girls are basically your best friends, but the chasm separating you from them couldn’t be more evident. Sure, you’re part of the “family,” but it doesn’t necessarily feel like it. You’re the quiet one, the one that keeps to themselves, the one who’s in charge of a happy homelife. And so you distance yourself from everyone else, stick to the sidelines while they’re out saving the world.

Granted, you’re used to this lifestyle, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt. If only you’d been a shinobi or a slayer, things would be different. You’d know what the life is like, the feel of a blade as it passes through a demon’s neck. But no, you’re always stuck with carrying a pouch of wisteria on your body to keep yourself safe. At this point, you don’t whether Tengen makes you keep it because he wants you to be safe or because he views it as his obligation.

With a sigh, you turn towards the sky, the endless blue a clear difference to your bitter gray mood. The tote hanging from your shoulder is heavy with fruits and vegetables from the market, but you’re excited with the possibilities of all the tasty meals you could create. Even though you can’t fight to save others, you can feed them; you also know for a fact that you’re the best cook among you co-wives.

When you return home, you slip off your setta and pause, listening to the familiar silence. Like usual, the others are away, most likely fighting off some lowly criminal or preparing for a battle against a demon. Either way, it seems like you’re going to be spending the majority of the day by yourself. It’s sad that this is what life has come to; when you first married Tengen, you were hoping for more excitement, not lonely thoughts. You don’t want to come off desperate, though, so you continue to remain to yourself. At the end of the day, it’s not that big of a deal – that’s just life.

Wandering towards the kitchen, you become caught up in these thoughts, these negative feelings. You don’t want to make yourself cry – you really don’t – but your heart is saying otherwise. All you want is to belong. You want to mean something to this family, not be the impromptu mother waiting for her rambunctious children to come home. You become so lost in your head that you fail to see him standing in the kitchen, lips wrapped around a ceramic cup.

Coming to sudden stop at the threshold, your attention jumps back to the present. Tengen merely sends you an amused look over the rim of his cup before he knocks his head back and empties its contents. Why is he here? Shouldn’t he be with the others? He said he wasn’t going to home for a while! Did something happen? Are the others okay? Why-?

“You’ve got that dumb look on your face again,” Tengen teases. “Stop thinking so much.”

Huffing, you step into the kitchen, drawing the tote off your shoulder and setting it down. “You surprised me, that’s all. I thought you were busy.”

“What, am I not allowed in my own home? That’s kind of cruel, don’t you think?” The smirk he flashes you sends a pleasant shiver up your spine.

“I never said that,” you hastily respond. Your eyes scan over his Corps uniform. You’re quickly finding yourself feel bad for taking up his time when he’s bound to be busy; Pillars have the toughest jobs of them all, and every single moment is precious. “You’re usually never this home early,” you mutter. A sigh slips through your lips. “…I should… uh, I need to do laundry.” You despise how pathetic you sound, but the knowing look in Tengen’s eyes is making your nerves go haywire.

Stepping away, you prepare yourself to leave, but Tengen moves way too fast for your eye to catch. Before you’re out the door, his hand is around your wrist, spinning your around and tugging him towards his chest. You yelp as you collide with solid muscle; wrapping his meaty arms around you, Tengen holds you close, his nose buried in your hair.

“Don’t act like I haven’t noticed you moping around more than usual,” he mutters. Pressed to him like this, you can hear his heart thumping steadily in his chest. “It’s not flamboyant of me to ignore what’s bothering you.”

“Tengen-“

“Let me finish,” he interrupts, but his voice is soft. “I want you to be honest with me. Are you lonely?”

At that, your heart drops to your stomach. You haven’t been that obvious, have you? Jaw falling agape, you’re desperate for words, to tell him no, you’re fine, but nothing wants to come out. Tengen releases a sorrowful sigh and pulls away just enough so that you two are looking eye-to-eye. He’s always been huge, standing tall and broad; in moments like these, the sheer size of him is more than intimidating. His biceps alone could crack a watermelon.

“Idiot,” he mumbles. Your face scrunches up when he flicks your forehead. “I shouldn’t have to confront you about something like this.”

You pout up at him. “It’s just… I’m not like you guys,” you confess. “I can’t fight, I can’t defend myself… All I’m good at is being a homemaker.” You drop your gaze to his chest. Now that you’re finally getting everything off your chest, all the pent of thoughts and feelings begin to gush out. “I feel like an outsider most of the time. You and the other girls are always running around together and doing amazing things. All I do is sit around and do chores. I can’t…” Biting your lip, you squeeze your eyes shut. Now is not the time to be crying. If you want things to change, you have to remain strong, not burst into tears.

A hand cups your face, then, lifting your head so that you’re forced to look at Tengen. “Be quiet. So what if you’re not a fighter? That doesn’t make you any less flamboyant.” His thumb brushes over your cheek. “You’re the one I can rely on to be here when I need someone. You always get this dumb smile on your face whenever I come home from a mission.” Dropping his head down, he presses his forehead to yours. “I know you’re safe here… Do you have any idea how scared I would be if you were out in the field with us? You’re important to me, baby. When I’m not here, you’re on my mind constantly.”

Your heartbeat quickens. You can’t deny the genuine glint in his dazzling eyes, the slight curl to his lips.

“In fact,” Tengen continues, pulling away entirely. In a swift movement, his large hands are clutching your thighs, raising you up and swinging you around; you let out a surprised squeak as he places you on the table and presses his large body between your legs. “I can’t stop thinking about you. You’ve always been so soft, so sweet…” His warm breath fans over your face, making you swallow thickly. “And you’re so small. I’ve got to keep someone like you under protection, don’t you think?”

Before you really have the chance to say anything, Tengen swoops in, his mouth seeking out yours. He’s always been such a bold kisser, sweeping his tongue into your mouth with no hesitation whatsoever. He tastes like wine, so rich and delectable, and his tongue is so warm, so inviting. Your head is spinning, your breaths leaving in short gasps. His hands are all over you; gripping your hair, trailing down your back, sneaking underneath your yukata-

A groan bursts from your throat as he fondles your breasts, the pads of his fingers rolling the hardened nipples and pulling them. Tengen curses as he breaks the kiss, the lightest of blushes on his face. He bites his plump lower lip as he shamelessly plays with you, his pupils blown wide. His hips press in close, his groin bumping into yours; he’s already hard, deliciously so, and your mind goes entirely blank. You want nothing more than his cock to slide in, to absolutely tear you apart.

“You feel that, baby?” Tengen husks. “Don’t think your unimportant to me. You’re so fucking sexy, so flamboyant…” His tongue darts out, sweeps over his lips. “Let me make it up to you. You won’t feel lonely anymore, got it?”

Furiously nodding your head, you allow Tengen to yank open your yukata, revealing soft skin. Your eyelids flutter as he places his mouth to the exposed flesh, his lips and tongue equally hot. Chest rising frantically beneath his touch, you grip onto him for support as he kisses your breasts, his tongue dragging across your nipples. You keen as he promptly sucks it into his mouth, his teeth sinking down lightly as his hands unceremoniously rip your underwear from your trembling form.

“Oh, gods, Tengen,” you purr. “Please… Don’t stop…”

“Wouldn’t dream about it,” Tengen drawls. Sinking to his knees, his mouth leaves a wet trail down your body; there’s bound to be marks, you’re sure of it, but you don’t care. His mouth feels way too heavenly yet sinful, the pleasured grunts pouring from his lips pure music to your ears. “Give me a taste…”

You cry out when he licks against your slit. In a fit of desperation, your fingers clutch onto the silvery strands of his hair, accidentally loosening it from its ponytail. Tengen groans into your quivering pussy as you yank at his hair, his name leaving your lips in high-pitched whimpers. Any other time, Tengen would play the part of the ultimate tease, but not now. No, he wants to please you, to have you screaming his name and begging for more.

He eats like a man starved, his mouth just ravishing your cunt; the noises coming from in between your legs is nothing short of sinful, leaves your blood boiling. Your velvety walls clench around his protruding tongue, each curl and flick sending delicious shivers up your spine, down to the tips of your fingers and toes. Tengen’s always been a god with his mouth, and it’s no wonder how he has four wives. You try not to think about the other girls too much; it’s quickly turning into a battle that you’re hopelessly losing, but then Tengen moves to suckle on your clit while his fingers replace his tongue.

A sharp cry rips its way out of your chest. It feels so good. “Ah – Tengen – fuck,” you whine. Hearing the pleasured noises from your beautiful lips spurs him on; redoubling his efforts, Tengen grabs onto your hip as his fingers push in even further, finding your soft spot with pin-point precision. You rapidly come undone around his fingers, your walls clenching around him as your slick gushes out. A breathless moan of his name echoes throughout the room.

“Just as sweet as I remember,” Tengen husks. The deep rasp of his voice has you clenching again; with a chuckle, Tengen removes his hand and stands up.

“I want you,” you coo, “please, Tengen. Fuck me.” Reaching out, you hastily undo the top of his uniform, push the articles of clothing down his shoulders under his torso is completely bare. Tengen’s chest practically rumbles with a purr as you drift your hands over the swell of his pecs, the divots of his abs. “So gorgeous,” you murmur. Tengen starts to chuckle again, but it quickly dwindles into pleasured grunts as you squeeze his pectorals and pinch at his pert nipples.

“Shit,” Tengen hisses. His hips buck forward, the hard outline of his cock brushing against your sopping cunt. In quick, fumbling movements, he undoes his belt and drops his hakama low enough so that his cock pops out. You practically drool at the sight; he’s been going around commando all day, and fuck you wish you knew that earlier.

His bulbous head pushes inside, his cock slowly filling you up. The stretch is delicious; you feel so fucking full, your velvety walls eagerly sucking him in. Clutching onto his shoulders, your fingernails dig into the thick cording of muscle, your eyes basically rolling back in your head as Tengen snaps his hips forward, his cock sliding in to the hilt. He pauses for a second, allows you to adjust to his massive size. Once you give him the go ahead, all caution is thrown to the wind.

Your husband in no longer a man, but rather a savage beast. He fucks into you thoroughly, his cock dragging against all your sensitive spots as his cockhead pounds into your cervix. He’s hitting you so deep, stretching you so wide, you’re seeing stars. His lips find your neck while his hands hold you by the ass, keeping you place. You have no choice but to cry out his name, moaning until your throat goes hoarse.

Hiking your thighs onto his hips, he urges you to lie flat on your back. Like this, he presses his palms against the surface of the table and completely concentrates and fucking you into oblivion. It’s working, rightfully so, for your drooling and babbling his name, your nails scratching down his back and leaving angry red trails.

“I’m gonna fill you up, baby,” he purrs. “Show you that you’re really mine. I love you, got it? Don’t ever think otherwise.”

Tears flood your vision – whether they’re from pleasure or the new onslaught of emotion, you don’t know. Either way, you cling onto him tighter. You’re not going anywhere, and Tengen makes sure of it.

[spikesbimbo]

Girls need love

Paring: Aran ojiro x f!reader

Summary: having a big mouth sometimes works out.

Tags: fwb to lovers, frenemies tsumu, big bro suna, use of weed, tw: pregnancy scare, soft freaky dom aran, use of word bunny and every other pet name, gives himself a handjob with your hands, daddy kink, cunt slapping (with his dick), oral sex, creampie, squirting,  hurt/comfort <3 , unrequited love

wc: 4.5k words of filthy, tooth rotting smut.

a/n: thank you @explvrer for proofreading!! —part of the Love Club Love Collab !!!!!!!

18+ Minors DNI

The pink and orange was reflected as you looked out the window . The clouds looking like they came out of a painting along with the man next to you. The smoke coming from the back of the car to you as you inhaled the comforting scent, hearing tsumu and suna arguing over who got it next.

Your gaze turned to him. Eyes lingering on his hands gripping the wheel, his arm taking up all the space on the console as you wanted to so desperately hold onto his hand, so warm and comforting as the dirty thoughts rushed into your head.

You softly shook your head, suna tapping you on the shoulder asking you if you wanted a puff, shaking your head again before tsumu said “you should've drove so aran could smoke.” 

“Ay, shut it.” Suna replied, slapping him on the back of his head, as you heard him groan and apologize.

“It's fine, we still got the whole night.” his warm gentle voice let out. The way you pouted “don’t wanna drive.” when you all went out, looking up at him with your puppy dog eyes, immediately saying “ok”.

You took your place in the passenger seat, as usual, grabbing the aux with tsumu quickly whining “fuck no!” because you always played some indie love songs while he was tryna listen to travis scott. 

“What?… Valentine's day is tomorrow, lemme get in the mood. Don't you have a girlfriend, you should understand.” which successfully shut him up for the time remaining. 

It was obvious he doted on you, but they just put it to the back of their head because they did it too. But suna knew what was up, even letting it slip to samu, saying that the way your eyes lit up around him and the way he held you close definitely meant y’all were atleast fucking.

Which was right. 

And he confirmed it when he walked into the same bathroom that he ‘saw’ your legs wrapped around his friend through the crack.

Mumbling out an “oops” as he was about to close the door before he saw you crying, his big brother side coming out as he decided to open the door fully, sitting next to you. 

He understood what was going on as you let it all out while he waited with you, luckily finding out that the test was negative as you finally calmed down, and he kept his word keeping it a secret.

Your eyes turned form the darkening sky to him. His vision was on the road as pulled onto the exit to drop them off. His cool eyes, so formal, contrasting his appearance. The heat in your body rising as your eyes never left him.

Thinking about how it started after one night when you were a little tipsy, seeing girls all over him as they took his precious, well-needed attention from you. Your tiny brain grasping how attractive he was from this perspective as a man and not a ‘friend’ while you watched his teeth shine though his smile 

Admiring his glowing skin under the dimmed lights and his tall big frame towering over yours was all you needed to get on your tiptoes and put your lips on his, the taste of the chapstick being engraved in you memory. It not taking long for his hands to wrap around your waist, picking you up and taking you to the guest room leaving you bedridden for the next day.

Fortunately it wasn't uncomfortable the next morning as you put it in your head, “its only awkward if you make it” . Waking up with a headache, recognizing the bed as his from the times you studied here in highschool. The sheets holding you back as you were borderline tucked in, finally freeing yourself letting them fall off, being stark naked in his room already feeling the pain grown in your tummy.

You just sat on the edge of his bed, holding the sheet to your chest warming your cold body waiting for him to come back. And on queue he walked in, only in his grey sweatpants hugging him just right, trying not to ogle him as he walked up to you, stroking your forehead before handing you an advil.

“You okay?”  He asked, wondering if he was talking about your physical or emotional state.

You let out a forced giggle, “yeah”, trying to lighten the mood as you tired to calm your nerves.

The words “wanna do this again?” slipped past your lips, not realizing you would regret this, falling for him quicker than any other man you've been with. Not knowing just the sight of him would make your knees weak and tremble, not knowing the pain of never being able to take it further.

Not knowing that you’d be crying over him every time you left. Always being a reminder that you were just a ‘plaything’ and he could cut you off at a moment’s notice.

He grinned back, lips turning up as he leaned on his hands to get closer to you “Well... you on birth control?” 

You all got out of his car, chatting a little before they left getting on the train. The words “love you” leaving his lips, voicing it in a friendly way after saying goodbye, and even though it wasnt directed at just you still made your heart race.

You had no claim over him besides the marks you left, the indent being printed skin deep as your nails dug in his flesh. The only remains of the nights you’ve spent together. Waving goodbye as he walked back to you, just you two alone now, the way you wanted it. 

“You wanna spend the rest of the day with me princess?” Already knowing the answer from the way you were squirming under his touch as he smirked, bending down into your ear, his hand resting on your side.

You leaned in for a kiss before quickly pulling away, dragging him to the car with a giddy smile on your face. Wanting him to feel as neglected as you were right now; so what if you havent got rawed for three days, it was a long time when you had someone like him doing it.

“Missed you daddy” you mumbled into his ear, your tone of voice changing to soft and sweet just around him as he started the car, longing to be touched as you clung onto his rough hands that were so soft on you.

His lips hovering over yours, dragging them in as his breath touched yours. “Missed you too baby”. His grip on your hand got tighter, bringing it down to his crotch. “Look what you did to me pretty girl. You know what you're doing with that little pout on your face.”

Your smile was the brightest it had been all day, hearts in your eyes as he drove back to his place, his hand covering yours on your thigh, fingers reaching far past yours as you felt them gripping you, inching closer and closer to your needy little cunt.

Not wasting any time getting inside as you started stripping the instant he closed the door behind him. Throwing off the heavy sweater keeping you warm, pushing him down on his bed as you moved your body, feeling it up in the pretty lingerie you wore just for today. 

“I know you love to show off.” he muttered as you bent over, shaking your ass is his face while he was leaning back admiring his view. “But c'mere sweet girl.”

You did as you were told and almost skipped up to him, wrapping your arms around him. Holding his face in your chest as he started placing wet open mouthed kisses on every inch of skin he saw. 

“jiro, please.” you whined out after your neck was sore from all the attention it was getting, wanting to direct it somewhere else. 

“you want daddy’s dick that bad, princess?”

Just the lewd tease of his voice had your pussy clenching, no shame left in your body as you reached out for him, your newly done nails gently grabbing onto the collar of his shirt. Grip tight as ever, your body so tense from trying to hold self back.

“So impatient baby, you got me for the rest of the night, m’not going anywhere.” He chuckled at your greedy little hands making their way up his shirt. Your lips met his again as his hands gripped onto your ass, sliding his fingers under your panties.

“Wanna make you feel good.” you whispered into his mouth, heart racing as his hands made their way up to your lower back, leaning into him. “Wanna make you cum.” He stopped his hands where they were, his clear eyes meeting yours, face having no shame in sight.

“fuck, baby.” he groaned, his tounge sliding into you mouth, your lips getting more angry at his biting while you palms were running down his to his cock. Your tiny hands wrapping around it though his boxers, running through his head if you knew how filthy you looked right now.

You pulled them down, whimpering at the sight of it already so hard, wrapping your hand around his cock as much as you could, the precum acting as lube. Using both your hands as you started moving them, looking straight at his face to see if you were doing a good job.

“Fuck, you're such a good girl.” he said, his hands resting on your back as you puckerd you lips letting spit fall onto his fat head, knowing he loved how slopy you got him. His breath choking as you moved one of your hands down, caressing his balls. “my good girl.” 

Your wrist getting heavier with each stroke, trying so hard to keep it going because his moans were so heavenly. And the way his cock was throbbing and twitching against your palm only made you grow slicker. Wanting to do your best to prove that you could take care of him, that you were the only one he needed.

“stay there, s’okay i got you.” His hand wrapped around yours, engulfing it completely as he started using yours, moving it up and down, his eyelashes fluttering as he could barely keep them open as you count help but stare, wondering what did you do to deserve a man like him.

His groans weren’t helping your situation too while he was guiding your hands faster as you could tell he was getting closer, squeezing your palm a little tighter with all the drive you had left until he came, thick white ropes being spread onto both your hands. 

Your thighs clenched around his, almost coming with him as a little whine escaped. Eyes rolling back as you grinded against him, leading his big hand up to your mouth, sucking it in as you licked around his dirty fingers. “Fuck youre so wet”

You adjusted yourself, now laying on the bed as you were trying to calm down, leaving you legs open as you twithced under his gaze. “Was thinkin bout you daddy... couldn't help it”

He groaned as his hand moved toward your ankles, holding them up in the air with his strong arms as he rubbed your swollen nub with his free one. Your cries and moans being music to his ears  whiel your pretty body was bouncing under him as his fingers worked their way up into your cunt, you walls pliant around him as you let him abuse your clit, unconsciously letting out lewd sounds.

Your voice is cut as he lets go of them, diving his head right back in kissing your clit. Fucking his fingers back into you, angling them to hit your g spot, the rule in the back of his head that he had to make you come more than him taking over. 

You should be embarrassed how he has you legs spread open with the sound of your wetness, but you aren't, empty of every thought except of him making you feel good.

He knows how you like the feeling of him curling into you after fucking you so many times, knowing eachothers bodies inside and out, but something he can never catch onto is when you squirt.

Always coming as a surprise to him and you. Not knowing what causes it, from it being him bottoming out, to just whispering dirty shit into ear while fingering your cunt. But he loves the look of relief painted on your face, the shame being long gone as you could only feel pleasure with him.

Your mind goes white, orgasm rushing into you while you tried to push his chest away with your feet. Sobbing as his fingers didn't stop, body thrashing. It felt so good, your daddy always making you feel so good.

But he just kept  going, fucking them into you even harder while his tounge flicked up and down on your clit, making you come harder and harder each time, resulting in a mess all over his chest and the sheets beneath you two.

Your blurry vision made out his handsome face, body soaked from you slick, both of you catching your breath as he wiped your eyes before kissing you, knowing how bad you wanted it.

Yes, it was a rule at first that you two wouldn't kiss, or do anything else too intimate, but that went out the window the night he was fucking you chest to chest, forehead to forehad, neither of you being able to resist the urge to connect them. And it hasn't caused any problems, yet.

He pulled back, taking in your appearance, still so needy, Your body adapting to his, as you could last for more than a few rounds now. “What you want doll, gotta tell me.” He looked with lust in his eyes as he waited for the answer, spreading your lips open watching the mess drip out of you.

“Fuck me, please, jiro,” you choked cathing the tears in your mouth, as he was quick to give you want youwanted, after your pretty voicedbegged for it, replacing his fingers with his cock. Resting it on your cunt, slapping your it on your clit a few times to see you squirm before placing his tip inside you.

“daddy s’too big” you whined as you bit down on one on of the fingers you put in your mouth, trying not to wince. You would've thought your cunt would've followed along with the rest of your body, but even when you were a soaking mess it still barely fit.

“Aww baby, but you're dripping so pretty for me, you gonna take it like a big girl?” Your eyes rolling back as he shoved it in more, pushing it back far enough to have you whimpering.

“fuck, sweetheart, so tight,” he groaned with your face in his neck while he was trying to ease you into him. Your whines getting more vulgar by the second, body finally taking him whole as his cock was kissing your cervix.

You wished you hadn't slept with those other guys trying to fill your void, them not even being close to getting you off, just wanting to feel someone's. Not knowing you prince charming was right in front of you all this time. 

 Did you regret the guy you lost your virginity to? no. Was he a bad person? no. Did he fuck you right...no. But at least you were slightly experienced, wanting to do your best to please him. Worried that he'd get tired of you one day and find someone else.

But he made you feel it all over again, the way his cock stretched you out as he gently worked his way into you. His vision shaking as his thrusts get rougher, your trembling arms reaching up for him as he just ignores them. 

“My sweet girl sounds so pretty when they're getting fucked.” he muttered holding back a groan, his thrusts getting faster as he knocked the breath out of you along with the word “my”. The possessive claim had your mind spinning while your hands gripped onto his skin so tight you know you leave a mark, not wanting to let him go.

“You love this cock?” You could feel him say against your breath, the soft vibrations of his lips catching your moans as you brushed your lips against his.

It didn't take you a lot to admit it, a “-yeah”, quickly escaping from your dry lips, covered in spit, a mix of his and yours soothing them.

“You love the way i'm splitting you open, pretty girl?” 

Getting overwhelmed by the pleasure, your emotions grew with it not being unusual for you to cry while he was fucking you.

 Of course you loved the way you could barely take his cock, the way just looking at it made you mind go hazy. Your legs shaking as you didnt care about trying to control them anymore.  You loved the way that you were the only one who could make him feel this good, doing you best to maintain it that way. 

“Yeah, fuck..L-love you “ you sobbed out, fat tears running down your face, not even registering in your brian what you said until you noticed he stopped his movement. It clicking after his eyes turned from hazy to clear, his expression in shock, only visible to you after all this time you've spent together.

“Fuck” you muttered, tears falling even more as you tried to move your limp body away from him. But he held you still, not pulling out, trapping you as your eyes grew wetter and wetter, nose sniffing from embarrassment.

“What’d you say?,” he asked, moving his body away from you. The feeling of disgust rising in you, hating yourself for letting those words fall from your mouth. The way he pulled away made you crumble, bringing your hands up to your face trying to hide the best you could.

Throat closing, your dry eyes swelling again, “m’sorry … fuck, i didn’t mean to say that aran.”

“hey....angel, look at me.” He said, stalling. Not knowing exactly what to do but wipe your tears, not wanting to see his precious baby upset, breaking his heart to see you so distraught. He stopped after you finally calmed down enough, his thumb still stroking your cheek as he moved your jaw to look up at him.

“Say it again.”

“Wha-” He pressed his lips against yours, “tell me that again, fuck baby. You drive me crazy, you don't know what you do to me. I haven’t been with anyone since we started fucking.”

 Your eyes red as your face slightly twisted in confusion, too tired to express itself fully. “Don't cry.” he whispered, foreheads close again. “it's okay, I got you.”

“C’mon baby, just tell daddy what you want and i'll give it to you.” he said, edging you on, wanting to prove it to you in the only way he could.

“w-want...you daddy” you mumbled after some time, wiping your eyes as your head was still tuned into your arm.

“Good girl” he muttered. “I'll make it all better.” his hand wrapping around the back of your neck to keep your eyes on him. “all you have to do is cum on my cock, you can do that for me, right?”

“yes, daddy." the only words to leave your lips as you try to be on your best behavior, knowing that bad girls didn't get daddys dick or get to cum. 

“still so tight, bunny.” He said, pushing himself into you again, lips besides your ear wanting to let you know good you made him feel. “already creaming on daddy’s cock”

“Who’s is this baby?” The question sinks into you along with his hands as his fat cock is splitting you open, his thumb tracing circles on your clit. Face flushed with a newfound pride growing along with the burning feeling under your skin. “Yours jiro, belongs to you daddy.”

“That's my good girl,” he cooed, kissing you open mouthed on your lips, lingering there before he pulled away. Your heart swooning at the affection and attention. He still fucks into you hard, his hands feeling up every inch of skin on your body, stopping at your soft tits, pinching your nipple as you whined out. 

“Look at you,” he huffed out, “Brain not working huh? You like my cock that much, sweet girl?”

“Y-yeah, like it... like you” you mumbled out, your words being slurred as you feel the heat rise with every stroke.

“I know sweetheart. Is that why you’re drooling all over the place? Does it feel that good, bunny? Having my cock inside you?” he smirked as a groan escaped his lips, slowing down making sure to hit every spot.

He drags out of your throbbing cunt so painfully slow, forcing you to feel every inch of him. His hips angling different, fucking you rough as thrusts back in just as slow, teasing. He pulls you closer, his cock pressing against your cervix

“Yeah, daddy loves you and this tight little pussy too.” His deep warm voice making you melt, your cries growing more erratic after every word left his lips. 

“Jiro, daddy wa- wanna come… together” you sniffled out, swearing you could feel the tip of his cock against your womb. 

“Yeah baby? You sound so pretty wanting me to stuff you full.” Your parted lips, eyes struggling to remain open, letting out silent moans as he was taking it all in, his ego rising knowing that he was the one who had made you like this.“don’t worry, sweet girl, daddys gonna take care of you, as always. just lay there pretty.”

“Ple-, p-please.” you begged, voice trembling, tears rolling down your cheeks as you clung onto him. He brought your legs up and pushed them towards your chest, folding you in half, as you tried to find a new place to place your hands.

“Wanna- cum, ple” you hiccuped, nodding off into the kiss. Mind in a whole new world body going limp again as he grabbed your arms and wrapped them around his neck hanging on there, wrists stuck together as his head is so close to yours.

He’s mumbling out some nonsense as you can feel him starting to throb inside of you, kissing up your neck until he’s tugging on your lips.“You gonna cum again, give me one more?”

You can’t even respond, letting out some deformed moan, because if it wasn't obvious your pussy belongs to him, you belonged to him.

You came together, feeling his cum rush into you nonstop, so hot. His cock jerking inside your soft body. Keeping his eyes on you loving how your thighs twichted and fluttered, his hand resting on your back arching as you let out your final cries.

You feel so weightless, the only thing keeping you grounded is his hands on you, his mouth on your cunt, not even realizing he pulled out, licking it up wanting to show you how pretty the mess you made was.

He comes back up to you, knowing that you wanted to be kissed and coddled as your emotions were foggy. Opening your lips with his thumb, his tongue covered in your cum making its way inside your mouth as you easily accepted it. His hands wrapped around your jaw as he finally broke free.

Your whole body was sensitive, so sore after being with him but this time even more, whining as he laid you beside him snuggling into his arm. He just chuckled, before giving you a gentle hug, already tired.

“You wanna wash up?”

You hide your face in his arm, using the cool feeling of the room as an excuse.“no, dont pull out.”

His laugh was soft as he turned you two onto the side so he could face you. “You’re so spoiled.”

“I wasn't lying earlier… I, love you.” He said, the weight on his chest feeling burdensome that he made you feel like this for so long. You stopped moving completely along with the hand resting on his chest. You turned and looked into his eyes.

“Well, why the hell did you say anything!” you pouted as you turned your messy worn out head towards his.

His mouth opening to apologise but you got to him before he could get a word out, kissing him so hard,that he couldn't breath. Your body now on top of his, your whimpers from his cock nudging inside thinking he’s being eaten alive, never wanting something more.

You finally give up as he turns disgustingly sweet, cupping your cheeks as he keeps pecking your entire face, staring at you like you were the only thing in the world, making you breath hitch. “I love you, too.”

“Baby?” he asks quietly after you two just laid there for what felt like hours. His hand tracing patterns all over you from your neck down to your back. “You here?”

“Yeah” you lied groaning out as you rubbed your eyes that you could already tell were swollen.

You looked up at him, his hand pulling your head into his chest, realizing he must've put the blanket over you two, feeling so comfy again that you were nodding off. “Hold on baby, lemme ask you something.” he chucked out sttoking your forehead

“Wanna be my valentine?”

You nod the fastest you have your entire life, a fat smile appearing on your face as you hid into the comforter as he let you cling to him all night, never being able to say no to you.  You breathing growing quieter and quieter until he can barely hear it, and that's when he can finally rest too. You loved him and he loved you.

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Makeup [S.B]

Sirius Black x plus size!reader

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: a toxic relationship history and a bit of insecurity because of it.

A/N: I did a questionnaire a few days ago to see what kind of reader you would like me to do. This is the first one I do base on that questionnaire and I want to say the following:

The only reason the reader is specified as "plus size!reader" is that if there is someone who fits this description, feel comfortable.

You will never see something like "her FAT body" NO, NEVER

Much less that the One shot revolves around their weight (neither nationality, nor gender identity, nor sexuality nor all the things that they put in that questionnaire). I only write about NORMAL people in normal situations. All bodies are beautiful, we are all beautiful.

So, if you are a plus size person, welcome. If you are not, you can also read it without feeling left out in any way.

I really hope that you feel comfortable with everything I write and that you know that I seek to be as inclusive as possible. Without more to say, thanks for taking the time to read my stuff. Tell me your opinion, if you want!💕

You looked in the mirror one last time.

Sirius, the boy of your dreams, had asked you out on a date and you wanted everything to be absolutely perfect.

You had met him because you both lived on the same floor of the condo block and it was inevitable to bump into him from time to time. It wasn't the best place to live, it was small and a little dirty, but it was the only thing you could afford and the fastest you could find after that happened.

You liked the way Sirius smelled because when he crossed the corridors, you could perceive a mixture of leather (you supposed it was due to all the clothes he used of this material) and an elegant cologne that drove you crazy.

At first, it scared you a little to see him with that piercing in his eyebrow and his multiple tattoos, but later you realized that he was really nobody to be afraid of, on the contrary, he turned out to be a very tender and sweet boy.

The first time you spoke to him it was because you were struggling to open your door while carrying boxes and bags that you had brought from the supermarket. The boy noticed you were having trouble and walked up to you to offer his help, so (still a bit wary) you said yes.

Once he held your purchases, you could open the lock, but when you turned around, you noticed that Sirius was secretly looking at the contents of your bags and when he realized that you had caught him, he blushed.

"Sorry I'm a little gossipy," he said shyly "I'm Sirius"

"I thought you were a gossip"

"No, my name is Sirius" he laughed and it was your turn to blush.

"Oh, sorry"

"Okay, anyone can get confused" he murmured with his charming smile, handing you what he was holding in his hands "I live in the 512" he informed you. Of course, you knew he lived in that apartment; you had seen him come into its thousands of times "In case you need anything. You know, some plumbing or things that have to do with tools and that shit of men" he murmured kindly. You frowned a little and then he quickly added "I mean, it's not that girls can't do that and it's okay if you know how to do those things, you seem like a smart and capable person. It's just that sometimes it's tedious and requires strength... and it's not that you don't have strength, I mean...” Sirius couldn't continue because he heard you giggle and then realized he was looking like an idiot “Just call me if you need anything and if you want to do it, yes?” he explained to you and you nodded with a smile.

"Thanks for offering your help Sirius" you replied, looking at him over your bags.

"You’re welcome, miss..."

"Y/N" you completed. He smiled and wrapped a dark curl around his finger that fell unruly from his ponytail.

"I'll see you later then, Y/N. It was nice to greet you" he said by way of farewell and you nodded to respond.

You haven't felt like this with any guy since you met your dear (sarcasm) ex-boyfriend. The insecurities that he had created in you kept you from thinking about having something else later and you honestly didn't feel ready to have your heart broken again.

But Sirius continued to be kind to you. Whenever he looked at you, he made an effort to have a topic of conversation, even if you were not so eloquent, and little by little, he was gaining your trust and your affection. As the weeks went by, you became good friends who chatted in the elevator or occasionally (when you weren't late for work) went downstairs just to share a little more time.

Until one day Sirius showed up at your door with his clothes stained with something that looked like paint, his hair tied up in a messy way and smelling of burned food. He was so beautiful in his own way and you were so afraid of falling in love with him because you knew beforehand that having something else would be impossible.

After all, no boy would ever love you. It was something that your ex-boyfriend had commissioned to get very well into your head.

"Go out?" you asked a little confused after he asked you. You didn't want to misunderstand things.

"Yes! We could go wherever you want. For ice cream, to dinner, to a park, to the cinema... I don't know, wherever you can think of”

"Why?" was the first thing that occurred to you to ask. Now it was Sirius' turn to look confused.

"Well, I thought it would be an opportunity to meet and... spend more time together" he explained and although you had understood the idea it seemed impossible to think that the boy had any kind of interest in you "But it's fine if you don't want to, I don't pretend be upset"

"I'd love to," you rushed to say, fearful that the opportunity would slip through your grasp. You saw him smile and after exchanging a few more words he left with a smile that you couldn't see, but that was pure joy.

Finally, the day of "go out" arrived and you were about to tell him that you could not go. You were nervous, more than nervous you were anxious about what could happen or what he could say about you.

You had searched your entire wardrobe for something decent to wear and after pulling and removing and taking out the clothes and trying them on, none of them convinced you. You looked in the mirror and didn't feel like it was enough of an outfit to date a man as handsome as him. In the first place, you did not even know why he had chosen to go out with you, because, although you considered yourself a nice person, you could not boast of being the most interesting.

Don't think about it, don't think about it, you kept repeating yourself as you continued to get ready and looked at the wall clock waiting for the time for Sirius to knock on your apartment.

Once you were with your outfit ready, you looked yourself up and down and although he did not completely convince you, you decided to tell yourself that you looked beautiful. Still a little nervous you looked at the makeup bag that was under some things on your dressing table. You hadn't put on makeup for years, because you were still scared to hear the comments in your head with that horrible voice.

You look like a whore.

You shook your head to ward off all the negativity and taking a breath you plucked up the courage to open the zippers and remove the beautiful makeup that you had abandoned. When you were finishing and without giving a chance to regret there was a knock on the door that took you by surprise. You went out and found Sirius wearing a striped t-shirt and ripped jeans that reminded you of that blond singer... Kurt was his name?

"Wow" you heard him say and he caught you staring at him adoringly. But you noticed that he looked at you the same "You are beautiful" he said with a smile. You frowned, again a little afraid that he was lying, but you tried again to push away those ideas of self-sabotage and smiled widely.

"I'm glad you like it. You look very handsome, you look like...”

"A rock star? I know” he said winking at you and managing to make you laugh “It's a joke, thanks for the compliment, sweetie” he replied, with his pretty smile of sealed lips. Just when you were smiling at him you watched him pay special attention to your makeup and put on a face that completely terrified you, taking all your confidence.

"Something wrong?"

"Your makeup" he pronounced. You felt your heart squeeze a little.

"You do not like? I can go take it off if you find it ugly or something like that…”

"Ugly?" he asked offended "No! It’s beautiful, but I feel like it lacks a touch. You know, the cherry on the cake that stands out in your eyes” he explained. You looked at him confused for the third time and he snapped his fingers as if the answer had suddenly come to his head "Eyeliner"

"Eyeliner?"

"Of course! Don't you like to use it? " he said kindly, turning his head to the side. You denied.

"I never learned how to do it" you lied. There was a bit of truth to it, but it also had a lot to do with the fact that he kept repeating that you looked vulgar with the eyeliner.

“I'm good at it! Come with me,” he murmured. He took your hand carefully and dragged you gently through the hall until they reached his apartment. You were a nervous wreck when he invited you to join him. "Sorry about the mess, I'm really the most distracted person on the planet and I forget to arrange things," he said with an embarrassed smile. You looked at some vinyl lying around, clothes, food packages, paintings, a guitar. There was a certain peace and beauty within all that mess, completely reflecting the boy who was desperately searching for his favorite eyeliner.

"Come," he asked once he left his room. You sat in a red leather chair he had and he leaned in your direction, very close to your face "Raise your head and look slightly down" he asked you and you listened. He took you by the chin with one hand and you saw him stick his tongue out just a little bit (as a sign of his concentration) while drawing on your eyelids. When he indicated that he had finished you saw him smile from ear to ear, which you imitated when he saw yourself in a mirror.

"Wow..." you whispered. Years ago, you loved putting on makeup and especially eyeliner, so seeing you again like that you were surprised. Besides, he was right, his hand was excellent at it.

"Now it's perfect, right?" he said excitedly. Perfect, that's how Sirius described what was in front of his eyes.

"Yeah... it looks much better" you admitted shyly. You couldn't believe that Sirius could make you feel so comfortable and calm, as well as help you maintain your confidence in yourself.

"I just hope I don't meet jealous guys for not having someone so pretty accompanying them," he said flirtatiously, making you laugh because of your nerves and making you blush "Shall we go?" he asked smiling and extending a hand to help you up.

You looked at him, still amazed to have found someone like that in your life, and took his hand with a smile.

Who would say that sometimes love stories begin like this?

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[c4p7ch4]

Basta's got the disorganized attachement style!

-a small rant

soo...I've partaken in a course about attachement styles, and I've come to the conclusion, that Basta probably got the disorganized/anxious attachement style

so, here's some of the information I've learned on the disorganized attachement style + my personal headcanons on how it shows in his personality and his relationships/way of dealing with others

DISCLAIMER: English is not my first language, errors might arise, also, I'm no professional on the matter, feel free to correct me or add your own thoughts!

How does the disorganized/anxious attachment style form?

this attachement style forms, when a child experiences (mainly/solely) abuse and neglect by their primary caretaker (for example, when the parents/the mother suffer/s from mental ilness [anxiety, depression, dissoziative disorder, etc.] alcoholism, unprocessed grief or being abused themselves)

->so the child doesn't experience the kind of bond it should have with their caretaker, its craving/need for safety and relationship stays unfullfilled, instead it experiences hurt and trauma and is conditioned to believe that this is normal

while I've seen many headcanons imagining that Basta's trauma stems from his abusive father, I actually imagine his mother being at fault:

I imagine that her husband/Bastas father died [maybe he was a soldier and died in battle, that would explain Basta's craving for a father, because his own was always away] and she couldn't cope with it, which has driven her into alcoholism which (paired with the overwhelm of being a young mother) made her neglect her small child, at other times she'd be short tempered because of intoxication and beat him up because he wouldn't stop crying and bothering her

Basta's unfullfilled desire of being loved by his mother later turned into his obsession of being loved by a woman (as seen in him constantly hitting on the maids in Capricorn's village, relentlessly trying to be liked [e.g. starting to chew mint leaves so he won't have bad breath like this one girl once told him when he was being vulnerable and tried to kiss her- like??! can I have a turn if she's too sensitive??] his obsession with Roxane, etc)

I also imagine his mother suffering from anxiety and clinging to superstitious rituals (good luck charms, avoiding bad omens, etc), that's where Basta got his superstitiouns from

Symptoms/ways in which this attachement style shows

very characteristic for this attachement style is the fact, that the person craves intimate and loving relationships, but they're scared of them because they expect to be hurt and abandoned at some point (because that's what they've learned relationships are like), which is why they tend to sabotage the relationship themselves and end bonds prematurely- in order to avoid being hurt, they want to have the control

people with this attachement style also tend to distrust others by default, they prefer to keep a distance and won't let people get too close to them, again, they want to have the upper hand and need to control how vulnerable they are

if they do have some kind of relationship with another person, they always question their true feelings and doubt that they truly like/love them (even if the person shows no signs of dislike whatsoever)

also they tend to think that every action of another person is somehow related to them, they (mis-)interpret the behavioir of others and believe them to be hostile towards them (even some innocent accident can be seen as a personal attack)

there can also be signs of lowered cognitive functioning, problems concentrating, lowered tolerance to frustration and heightened stress levels

so, how does this fear of being hurt line up with Basta's obsessive relationship with Capricorn, even though the latter isn't being all to nice to him?

someone who is desperate for any kind of attention and bonding doesn't have high standards, so even negative attention is an improvement to not being seen and interacted with at all

my headcanon: after Basta's mother died [some totally preventable accident, like a fall to the head due to the intoxication], he was all alone on their little farm, left to fend for himself, until one day Capricorn's men came to scalvage, just that they barely found anything usable except for this starving child, which they put into their black bag and dragged before their master, who decided to make use of that small boy, the rest is history

soo, since Basta is craving for (female) attention, he's getting crushes pretty easily, but he couldn't word out why he likes this person - because he doesn't actually like them, he just sees what they could give him: the love and safety he never got from his mother, what he is liking is not the person, but the fact that they could fullfill his needs, the use they could be to him (ofc, this is only subconciously, what he believes to be love is actually his survival instincts, trying to fill out his social needs)

if one of the girls he's flirting with would actually engage, his inner warning bells would flare up, which would result in him distancing himself in no-time (and the girl being confused af)

or maybe he would even start getting closer to the girl, but his constant distrust and accusations against her (like accusing her of being unfaithful or claiming she's just pretending to like him to gain some kind of advantage) would really damage their relationship and result in driving her away

so yeah... it would take a lot of time, patience and energy for someone to get through to Basta to the point, that they can live in relative harmony

the following hcs have arisen in my AU, where I ship Basta with my OC Zera (she's trapped in the village like the maids, but her job isn't chores, she used to work as a paramedic, so she was chosen by Capricorn to be the village doctor, most days she doesn't do much but patch up some cuts and scratches)

when Basta starts to crush on her, she engages in his flirting because she hopes to get to a better position with more freedom by dating him BUT she didn't consider Basta's brain stopping to work when he experiences positive and friendly interaction for the first time

it's scaring him a lot, but he can't help but be curious, he's starting to make up excuses to see her, most of them being medical-related (like cutting himself on purpose, claiming it was an accident and having her patch him up [that sneaky bastard feeds on those soft and brief touches, when Zera is putting band aids or bandages on him, checks his skin tissue or cleans a wound] )

-Zera sees right through him, no one can be this clumsy, at one point he comes to her daily, she let's it pass without calling him out on it, because at this point, she's already suspecting that he is just craving touch and company (that's when she slowly starts to actually care for him- she realizes that, as awful a person he may be, he's just a human [well, as human as a fictional character can be] with a lot of problems)

Basta starts to get extremly jealous whenever Zera is giving attention to anyone but him (even though they're nothing official [yet])

he's also mocking everyone, who comes to see Zera for treatment, for being 'sensitive' (but heaven forbid if anyone calls him out on his daily visits to have his band aid renewed or his sore neck checked out)

there's stuff happening in between, but at one point later in the story, one of the blackjackets stirs things up by telling Basta that Zera's just being nice to him to get herself an easier life, Basta confronts her and she does admit that, in the beginning she was leading him on for selfish reasons, but that she's grown to know and like him

-but Basta doesn't even properly listen to that last part, he gets furious and almost hurts her in his rage, but he retreats and stays out of her way from this point on, all attempts to get him to talk and listen to her fail

until Basta and some other blackjackets have to deal with some rebelling local famers and get caught in the crossfire

Basta gets shot in the arm and Zera has to treat him (but not without a fuss, even in this state, he is putting up a fight, she's deescalating the situation by retreating with him to a seperate room while the other maids take care of any other injured men)

that's when Basta has to expose his burnt arms (the shot wound itself isn't that bad, but the fact that he has to reveal his horribly scarred arms while he's been trying to hide them all these years is traumatizing)

and Zera can sense how uncomfortable he is, so she's not making much fuzz about it and just focuses on treating the wound while making the situation as comfortable as possible for him (locking the door so no one barges in, working under a cover, getting him to talk and making stupid jokes [not that Basta is in a mood for a laugh, but it helps lighten the mood])

after she is finished with treating him (and after she managed all the other blackjackets too), she insists on staying with him in his house for the night, in case he's getting worse or anything

she settles down on an armchair across his bed after she tucked him in, and in the cover of the darkness, they have a real heart-to-heart and Zera can convince him that she does in fact love him and that she doesn't care about his scars (which she proves by kissing down the lenghth of his bare arms

and after that, they develop a somewhat stable relationship, sure, Zera still has to reassure him a lot and treat him like the attention starved baby he is (someone on here stated it before: Basta needs all the five love languages), but they start to grow together and learn to manage each other

[chaozsilhouette]

A Revealing Performance

My rendition for the Shadow Play in @winterpower98's Swap Au.

It was supposed to be a simple thing, then it sort of spiraled into this whole deal. For the effects of the Shadow Lantern, I drew some inspiration from her Cursed Au as I never thought simply using her friends was cruel enough for the Monkey Tyrant.

It serves to show just how far Macaque has grown, but also to highlight just how monstrous he was.

_____________________________

Mei refrained from downing her bubble tea as she waited for the play to start. It had been a rough couple of weeks with Spider Queen and that creepy girl. And failing to find where Xiaotian had run off to after the misunderstanding. When Macaque sent her tickets to the local theatre, she was ashamed to think it was a trap.

Pigsy and Sandy were right. After everything that happened, she needed some serious me time. She had been too stressed.

Besides, everyone knew Macaque was a total theatre nerd. Few people knew that the star puppeteer was actually the Six-Eared Macaque himself. He would totally send her tickets from his stomping grounds as a way to unwind.

It was a shame that Tang couldn’t join them. Apparently, he finally managed to schedule a meeting with the Celestial Realm and was Taking the demon brothers to figure out a new way of sealing the Monkey Tyrant. It was also his chance to explain their little break-in during New Years. He encouraged her to have fun and if it was good, he’d join them for the next showing.

So here they were waiting for the performance to start. Although she wondered what the fake mayor was doing here. They hadn't seen him since he gave her the skeleton key. Still wasn't sure why he had it or why he gave it to her? Supposedly she was only supposed to have it for a day, but he never stopped by to pick it up.

_____________________________

Sun Wukong was a monkey of many talents, but even he had to admit Macaque was a far better storyteller and his mastery of shadows was sheer perfection. But that just made this plan all the more perfect. What better way to teach his wayward beloved’s little flower a lesson than through a trusted medium.

Obtaining a spot in the local theatre was child’s play, a little magic and they were all but begging him to take center stage. Apparently, they had been scrambling to find a new performer after their star puppeteer had to leave for a family emergency (three guesses as to who that was). And with a little glamor, a set of tickets was left at the little flower's doorstep. As far as she knew, Macaque was proud of her progress and believed she had deserved a reward for all her hard work. She was so desperate for something to go right she hardly questioned how her mentor, who was in parts unknown, managed to secure tickets for a new performer.

In his personal dressing room, Wukong delicately touched up his human disguise. Even if he was going to be hidden in his hanfu and cloak, it wouldn’t do to spoil the surprise. Applying his eye shadow with artful flair, the Monkey King took time to appreciate just how handsome he truly was no matter what form he took. Honestly, who would have thought such perfection existed?

A pulse of dark magic drew his attention to his latest partner in crime.

The Shadow Lantern gently floated before him. Its dark magic practically purring at the thought of being used. Wukong could almost laugh at his beloved’s foolishness. He was there when his darling created the lantern, when he infused his own shadows into its very foundation. Did he honestly think such a masterpiece would tolerate being left to collect dust in a cave?

Normally a magical artifact would never consider turning on its master, but after centuries of abandonment, all Wukong had to do was whisper his intentions to return Macaque to his former self to secure its loyalty. The second he first made contact, he could sense a twisted hunger writhing within and with each performance granting it the chance to feed on the life essence of the viewers…. hehe, he almost couldn’t contain himself.

Looking up at the clock, he saw it was just about time for his next performance. His clones had reported the girl’s presence along with the pig and the water demon. Strangely the one with glasses and the little matchstick was absent. No matter, he could make do with two hostages just fine.

After all, the show must go on.

_____________________________

The overhead lights dimmed, signaling the start of the play. Smoke slowly poured from beneath the floorboards, generating an air of mystery. In a flash of golden light, a tall man wearing a beautiful cloak manifested on center stage. The crowd silenced themselves at the display.

“Welcome viewers to a performance you shall never forget!” From the folds of his sleeves, an exquisite lantern floated in front of him. A mesmerizing yet familiar purple glow emanating from the center.

“Our tale tonight is one of love, companionship, and how even the strongest of bonds can be severed through the trickery of the wicked.”

In the background, the shadows twisted and grew in the lantern’s light. Carefully they formed a beautiful scene of a mountain covered in flowers and trees. Attention was gradually guided to the top, where a round stone basked in the sun.

“It all began with the birth of a King.”

The round stone broke, revealing a figure that resembled a monkey. But no, this was a monkey demon, a monkie if you would. The King journeyed down the mountain until he found a tribe of normal monkeys. The group frolicked for a while as the King established himself as the undisputed ruler of the tribe.

A large figure with an ax appeared. The monster brought down his ax upon a small collection of monkeys only to be stopped at the last second by the King. The King used his superior strength to steal the demon’s ax and used it to decapitate the intruder in a single stroke. The monkeys jumped around the King and praised his strength, but the King did not appear satisfied.

“The young King was born with great power and strength, but he sought out more to protect his people.”

The King crafted a raft and set out on a dangerous sea. The King was shown to face off against mountain gods, human warriors, and demonic sorcerers always to reign victorious but never satisfied.

“In his travels, he learned much and faced many enemies, in time his efforts were handsomely rewarded.”

The King climbed a fleet of stairs carved into a mountain to reach a humble monastery. At the top, a stern human stood, but behind him was another monkie. This one however possessed six ears.

“His quest for power led him to a Warrior of potential equaling his own. At first, neither was sure how to react to their mirror, but they quickly forged a comradery that took them far.”

The two monkies trained together, mastering new powers as they sparred.

“Their time together increased their power exponentially and as they grew stronger their feelings blossomed into something beautiful.”

The two were on a cliff overlooking the stars, slowly leaning closer to one another. Eventually, the two faced their opposite and leaned in close.

“Their fates had become intertwined. Their power was unmatched. It was then the King realized what he had been searching for all this time.”

The two shadows merged together in a complex dance until they separated into two beings once again, but not as they began. The two monkeys were now garbed in elaborate, yet practical armor and silks. The King wielded a staff and the Warrior took up a spear.

“Slowly their strength grew to where nothing could challenge them, whether in the Celestial Realm or on Earth.”

The King and Warrior were shown battling heavenly armies and powerful demons with confident smirks. Each battle resoundingly won through their combination of speed, strength, and cunning.

“But it was not enough. The King wished to ensure that he and the Warrior would be able to fight together forever and sought the power and respect needed to secure their future.”

The King took to the Heavens, where he stood before an Emperor in the most extravagant outfit, surrounded by massive guards in magical armor. The Emperor was clearly afraid as the King effortlessly toppled one guard after another, slowly approaching the throne at a steady pace.

“The King’s noble actions were viewed negatively by those who feared his ever-growing power. Eventually, a prison was crafted that could restrain the King, one that not even his beloved Warrior could destroy.”

Just before the King’s latest attack could reach the Emperor, chains wrapped around his limbs and dragged him down to Earth. With a quick flex, the chains shattered, but the King was doomed as a mountain landed on him with a seal placed at the top. The Warrior tried to pry off the seal or find some way to weaken the mountain, his acts growing more desperate with time, yet nothing worked.

“Cruelly, the King was forced to wait until he could be freed, forced to watch his precious Warrior defend their Kingdom on his own.”

With a heavy expression, the Warrior abandoned his efforts to return to the original mountain as dozens of terrifying figures surrounded the monkey inhabitants.

“Centuries passed and their love still burned strong. Soon their patience was rewarded, the King was freed but he was soon trapped in a new prison.”

A monk approached the mountain and removed the seal. The King swiftly destroyed the mountain. The monk humbly bowed to the King and offered fresh clothing and a fillet. The King garbed himself in the gifts only to collapse in agony when the monk prayed.

“Enraged the King played along until the time was right. The King and the Warrior reunited in secret and crafted a plan that would allow them to take their revenge on those that dared to separate them.”

The two monkies hugged and nuzzled each other in appreciation. A quick conversation later, the Warrior changed to resemble the King and joined the monk as the King headed into unknown lands.

“Decades later the King was ready to retrieve his love, confident in his regained strength. But when he arrived the Warrior had changed. It was as if the warrior had lost a crucial part of himself. The Warrior tried to dissuade the King from killing the monk and his companions. He even tried to convince him to give up his rage at the Celestial Realm, believing the war that would ensue wasn't worth it.”

The disguised Warrior was traveling with four colorful characters. The King dropped from the sky in front of the group, a massive crater forming around him. The Warrior regained his true form, but instead of returning to his rightful place, he blocked the King’s view of the monk.

“The King could not believe his ears. This could not be his Warrior. His love always understood his goals and knew why heaven had to pay. The King knew this change was the monk’s fault. The King moved to silence the deceiver in one quick strike only to find it blocked by the Warrior.”

The King and Warrior exchanged blows that tore mountains asunder, split the heavens, and burned down forests. The other demons following the monk tried to aid the warrior, but nothing they did seemed to slow down the King, if anything their attacks only served to further enrage him.

“The two clashed until the Warrior fled with the jailers. Time and time again they clashed, but never could the King reach the Warrior he held in his heart.”

The group fled from the battle, but time and time again the King tracked them down. The locations may have changed, but the carnage after each battle remained as world-shattering as the first. In the end, the Group managed to truly escape, and the Warrior vanished into the shadows he wielded, leaving the King alone with nothing but his memories.

“Even now the King yearns for the companionship of his beloved Warrior, knowing that at his core the Warrior craves the same.”

With the final line sending shivers down the spines of the viewers, the puppeteer vanished in a flash of light.

_____________________________

As Mei waited for her family to walk out, she couldn’t help but think about the play. It almost sounded like they were telling the tale of the Monkey King. But that was ridiculous. No one knew the Monkey King’s origins aside from minor details from the Journey to the West. Besides the narrator seemed to view the Monkey Tryant as a hero and victim. Clearly, that guy needed a reality check.

“Hello, young one.” Nearly choking on the remainder of her tea, Mei turned to see the puppeteer standing behind her with a knowing smile.

His cloak shrouding the top of his face in shadow. For a second, Mei envisioned her father Macaque. He would adore that look. Actually, didn’t she see a similar outfit in his closet on Flower Fruit Mountain? Doesn’t he wear that outfit when he’s hosting a shadow play?

Wait. How did he sneak up on her like that? Was she that out of it?

How long has she been quiet? Crap! Say something! “Oh. Ah-hello. C-can I help you with something?”

“I was about to ask the same. You do know the theatre is going to close soon right?”

“What?” Mei grabbed her phone. The digital clock flashed that it was past nine. That couldn’t be right. That meant she had been waiting for nearly an hour. But where were the others? Surely, they wouldn’t have left without telling her. Were they in trouble?

“Is everything alright?”

“Ah- yeah, everything’s fine.” It’s cool. It’s cool. She could handle this. She just needed to stay calm. “No need to worry about me. I just ah-I have a few questions about your play.”

“Yes.”

“How did you could up with the concept? I mean, no offense, but your premise could be taken the wrong way.” Maybe it was the panic over where her family had disappeared to, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was being sized up.

“Hm. Have you ever heard the expression ‘History is written by the winners’?”

“Yes. It’s pretty common.” Like one of the most used sayings in the world.

“The tale was designed to show that love is one of the most cherished feelings of all and that in order to protect it, one must be willing to do anything to keep their loved ones safe. The King only wished to keep his beloved by his side, but the Warrior was misled and forced to battle against his love. That story may belong to only two, but similar tales can be experienced in anyone’s life. Tell me, can you think of a time you fought with those you cared about due to a misunderstanding?”

Without even considering it, horrible memories resurfaced. Mei arguing with MK as she tried to stop him from leaving with the newly released Monkey King. Mei forced to battle Red Son as his mind was slowly consumed by the True Fire of Samadhi. Tang lying to them about his true identity. Macaque leaving when they needed him most without saying why.

“I see you can.” The puppeteer gently guided her back into the main hall, where she took a seat on an empty bench.

“It’s nothing. I just-” She honestly didn’t know why she was pouring out her heart to stranger. Maybe she really was that exhausted. “-there’s so much going on and I’m supposed to be strong no matter what. But sometimes it hurts, just thinking about all my mistakes. Sometimes I wonder if I truly am strong. What if bringing me into this was a mistake?”

“What if it was?” That voice!

Mei turned to see Macaque garbed in a strange outfit, one that honestly reminded her of the Monkey King’s. She was confused. She had never seen him wear anything like that, he looked like the Monkey King’s twisted shadow.

And that expression! Her father Macaque had never made that face before. It looked as though he was reveling in her suffering.

“What’s the matter, little jade? Don’t worry, I won’t leave you alone.” He extended a hand slowly with the intent to cradle her face. A normal gesture he would use to comfort her, but her every instinct was screaming at her to get away.

Mei jumped to her feet and pulled out her spear, aiming it right between the imposter’s eyes. “Enough games!”

Macaque stared at the spear for a second, his fiendish expression only growing more vicious. He threw his head back with a full-bodied laugh, showing how little he thought of her threat. “Ha. Ha. Ha.”

In a flash of light, the Monkey Tyrant was standing before her, still wearing his puppeteer disguise. “Wow. About time. For a while, I was wondering if you’d ever figure out it was me.” His red and gold eyes carefully roved over her body, taking in every shake and fearful twitch. “Put down the spear, kid. We both know you’re not nearly good enough to scratch me with such a pitiful copy of the Dragon Blade.”

That may have been true, but she’d sooner make out with DBP in full view of Queen Iron Fan than leave herself completely open before this tyrant. “So the play was from your perspective. I always figured you were delusional, but this is a new low. Where is my family?” She all but growled, unknowingly her canines had slightly elongated in response to her rage.

“They never left. I’m surprised you didn’t recognize this.” The Monkey King took out the lantern, once more bathing the room in that familiar glow.

“What’s the big deal about a lantern?”

The stone monkie found her ignorance all the more entertaining. To think he hadn’t warned her of his own past.

“The big deal is that my dear warrior crafted this lantern long ago. It was his finest work and like everything he made it has multiple uses.” With a simple hand gesture, the silhouettes of Pigsy and Sandy appeared on the walls. “The Shadow Lantern can do more than enhance one’s skills in shadow magic, it can trap the bodies and souls of its targets. So long as the targets are trapped, the lantern can steal the shadows of its victims so its master can use them as a personal army until there is nothing left.”

“You expect me to believe Macaque made something so disgusting?” Even as Mei said it, she couldn’t help but recognize how similar the lantern’s magic was to her teacher’s. It was cool and soothing, but on the edge, there was an unmistakable edge of malice. “Even if he did, I doubt he made it without you whispering in his ears.”

“Oh child, you have no idea how many secrets he keeps from you. Let me share one with you.” The lantern grew brighter, and the silhouettes of her family members gained more substance as they peeled away from the walls.

Mei adjusted herself so all opponents were in her sight, but nothing could stop the sweat collecting on her forehead.

She sensed something powerful appear behind her. Jumping out of the way as a spear nearly severed her arm. She faced her new opponent. Only to almost drop her weapon.

Standing before her was another copy of Macaque only this one was even more disturbing. Its eyes burned with purple light, the shadows loving curled around it, but worst of all was the sneer filled with razor-tipped teeth.

“Did you honestly think my love was always so nice?”

[lokiskitten]

Will you do a sequel of the Valentines Day fic like you mentioned at the end of part 4?

Loki Laufeyson | affliction pt1

Loki Laufeyson x fem!reader

A/N : this imagine is meant to follow the events which occurred in my previous series :”Valentine’s Day”!! You can find it lower on my page.

plot : A couple of weeks have passed since you’ve first slept with Loki. However, after learning that you are pregnant, you find yourself forced to reveal it all to your partner. Unfortunately, his reaction doesn’t turn out to be the one you expected.

warnings : very light smut, angst, fighting/arguing.

Loki and you had been seeing each other since a couple of weeks now. You had managed to keep it a secret, and that from anyone in the kingdom which obviously- and certainly- included your parents. You couldn’t truly explain why and how Loki never failed to make you feel so good, but you knew that you did not wish for those sensations to end any time soon. You two were meant to be together, wether the royal family wanted it or not. Though, shortly after your little unprotected frolics occurred, you had progressively started to become sick here and there. Your doctor had easily established a diagnostic which he promised to keep to himself for now, and that no matter if Loki was Prince. You were pregnant.

Pregnant with Loki’s child. What worst could potentially happen? Now, it was sure that you would have to annonce that to you respective families- something you didn’t feel ready to do. Or at least, certainly not alone. Therefore, you felt like the young man should be the first person to learn about it, especially as he was the father and you trusted him more than anyone else. Little did you know, there was still a lot of things you needed to learn regarding your boyfriend.

[ ... ]

It was a lovely spring afternoon. You and Loki had decided to reunite in his room in order to spend some time together. As you laid down on top of the young man, lovingly grinding your hips against his in order to make sure that his member would be coming in and out of you at a pleasurable pace, Loki had his arms wrapped around your back. His hands were soon to move down to your bum, digits digging into the soft flesh as if he wished to guide your hips through the intercourse. His thick thighs tensed upon sensing his nearing orgasm, soles now resting against the mattress instead of being on the loose.

It didn’t take long for white sperm to spray out of his urethra, staining your walls and cervix as both of you moaned in harmony. It was nothing too intense, but you always enjoyed spending time with him in that way no matter what technic or pace you two used. You allowed Loki to fully wash out his orgasm before you could get off him, your silhouette slipping underneath the covers as you pulled the sheets all the way up to your chest. Your breasts were now covered, as well as everything which came underneath.

Turning around, the male’s arm wrapped around your body as his chin rested onto your shoulder, his lips pressing delicate kisses against your warm flesh in order to let you know that he loved you. As his eyelids closed, yours remained clearly open as your brain wouldn’t stop thinking about how you were meant to annonce such a tragic piece of information to him. “Loki?..” you finally found the strength to speak up, though it would probably take you a large amount of time to finally arrive to the point where you would annonce your unwanted pregnancy.

Opening his eyes upon hearing his name, Loki was now ready to dedicate his entire attention to your seemingly tired self. You turned around and allowed your body to face his, the tip of your fingers nervously tracing shapes against his bare chest. “Yes?” He asked face to your lack of constructed sentence. “When we make love.. what happens?” You asked shyly, hoping that he would understand that you were hinting towards the natural fertilization process. Ending face to face with such a peculiar question didn’t seem to disturb the demigod who, instead of answering you right away and as seriously as he could, simply lowered his body in order to rest his head against your chest. A smirk displayed on his features.

“A lot of good things~” Loki purred, hand squeezing your waist in a possessive manner. You couldn’t help but sigh face to his answer, though you remained aware that getting mad at him so soon probably wasn’t such a wonderful idea. Instead, you tried to explain the matter in another way. “No. Look, when two persons make love, what happens to the woman? Inside of her body.” You asked him on a determined tone, hoping that he would understand that you weren’t joking around. Though Loki remained silent, cluelessly looking up at your face. Again, this sight managed to irritate you.

“Jesus. I’m pregnant!” You announced on a frustrated tone, staring right into Loki’s eyes to make sure that he would understand that it was an absolutely serious matter. An awkward silence settled in the room, the two of you making eye contact as you desperately waited for your boyfriend to say something. But instead of speaking up about the matter, he calmly turned around and sat down on the edge of the bed before getting up and walking over to the window. Face to this peculiar yet thankfully passive reaction, you sat up and frowned. “Loki?..” you solicited him shyly, scared that any of your words could now cause an outburst.

“It’ll kill you.” He ended up affirming, back still facing your silhouette. You frowned even harder. “What do you mean?..” you answered hesitantly, suddenly becoming scared of the situation due to your partner’s remark. You couldn’t seem to understand how a fetus could be responsible for your death. “It’ll kill you, freeze you from within.” Loki explained further, causing chills to appear on your back face to this terrific announcement. However, you decided to carry on fighting his statements. “Loki this is our child... Nothing will happen to me.” You affirmed softly, hoping that this would manage to make him change his mind about all those rather creepy thoughts and suppositions. You obviously had no idea that he was a frost giant.

Loki knew that in order to prove you wrong, his only remaining option was to show you what he truly was. A monster. Turning back around, his eyes were the first part of his body which switched from green to red, skin and hair soon following as the young man turned into a frost giant before your bare eyes. It was an unexpected, impressive, and intimidating sight all at once. You didn’t know how to react, fearing that any negative remark would cause the young man to get offended. “See me as I am. The monster your mother used to tell you about back when you still were a child.” Loki spoke sternly, which betrayed the fact that he felt ashamed of what he truly was.

Gasping anxiously, your hands gripped onto the bedsheets in order to contain the amount of fear which travelled through your organism. However, your brain was soon to remember that the man who stood before you, and who you loved, would never do anything to hurt you. Meanwhile, Loki made sure to regain a normal appearance as himself felt ashamed of his true nature and didn’t wish to remain in that form for too long. Now this managed to reassure you entirely. “Get rid of it. And try to stay discreet. I wouldn’t want the entire kingdom learning about our frolics.” He finished, words as cold as his birth specie.

Those statements broke your heart. You could barely believe that such cruel words had escaped Loki’s lips- though little did you know it all came from the personal and internal sufferance he was forced to deal with. Instantly you got up from the bed, taking decisive steps towards the man who found himself backing away out of surprise. Your hand harshly landed against his cheek, his head turning to the side in a rather violent manner. “How dare you! You’re talking about our child..” you spoke, tone turning from angered to saddened. Your voice was filled with sorrow.

A harsh sigh escaped Loki’s lips, his green eyes landing onto your face again as he barely managed to find the words to express himself face to such unexpected violence. “You’re acting just like your father.” You ended up adding whilst taking a step back, body soon crouching down in order to reach for your clothes as this statement managed to pull Loki out of his shocked state. He was now as angered as you were. “He’s not my father, and I’m nothing like him! How dare you-“ the demigod began, though only to be stopped in his track by your silhouette which moved back up on its feet.

“Then why are you acting like him?” You responded sadly, pulling the straps of your dress over your shoulders before turning around and beginning to take decisive steps towards the door. Again, the raven haired man was left in a state of shock before he finally managed to get back to reality face to your departure. “Where are you going?” He questioned calmly, muscles flexing underneath the sun of Asgard which penetrated through the large window. “To see your mother.” You answered, hand reaching for the door knob before you opened the door and exited his room.

You believed that if Loki refused to understand, his mother surely would manage to feel empathy face to your distress. The young man was left alone with nothing but his own distress as painful company, stomach growing knots due to anxiety taking possession of his organism. He didn’t fear his mother’s reaction at all, and expected her to be happy for her son. However, Odin surely wouldn’t appreciate to learn that the girl who was formerly meant to go to the ball with Thor had been stolen by his youngest son, and that on top of that she was pregnant.

I hope y’all enjoyed this! Feel free to let me know what you’d like to see in part 2! Sorry for being kinda inactive. Love y’all ❤️ requested tag : @delightfulheartdream

[anxious-allie-ren]

Hey everyone! I’d like to introduce the new story I am writing! You can find it on both my AO3 and Wattpad. Both of which are linked in my bio. But I’ll also be posting the chapters here for you all. Be easy on me as I haven’t quite figured out how to post chapters on here and create a master list. That is something I will be working on. Alright, now in to the good stuff.

Erota

As the only daughter from a high society family, the pressure is on you to impress the ton and find a suitable match. You hope to find love, but your fate is decided for you. Your marriage is arranged to King Kylo of Chandrila. Pain and tough decisions are soon to follow.

This story is inspired by Bridgerton and regency era.

Hello everyone! I have been dreaming of writing this fic for a bit now and finally gathered the courage to do it! Like I said in the description, this story is heavily influenced by the regency era and the Netflix show Bridgerton. I've done my best to keep it accurate to both the era and the Star Wars world. I hope you enjoy!

The Ton.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The season has finally arrived. You have officially joined the ton and are coming out into society. The debutantes of higher society are to be presented in court. This now includes you and your family.

You were the only child of the Duke of Selonia. A small territory southeast of Drall within the kingdom of Corellia. It's a quaint little area, nothing to brag about. It was cozy and calm. Many of the families had lived in the area for generations. Neighbors all knew each other. But despite its comfort and kindness it was lacking funds.

Since you had been able to remember, life was very simple. You helped in the gardens, the kitchens, and even with the laundry work. Your family took trips to town often, visiting with the people. Your mother loved to stop at the bakery and buy pastries to bring back to the estate. She told you stories from her childhood as bedtime stories. Coming from a common family and marrying into high society. Your parents married for love and not statues. Many scolded your father for marrying "below his station" but he let their words roll off his shoulders. He was attracted to your mother for her beauty, kindness, and capabilities. Your mother was no stranger to hard work, and she assured you weren't as well.

As you matured, you watched as your home aged as well. Bricks began to weather with time and vegetation started to take over. Farmers had less success each year and businesses were closing. The help your father was once so quick to provide had now dwindled into nothing. There was no help to give. The funding was nearly gone. After your mother's death, the strong and reliable man you had once called your father was gone. What replaced him was a shell of a man. He gave up on his duties as a duke and instead threw his time and money into bad habits. Gambling and drinking had become his crutch.

You lost your mother in your adolescence. Still a young girl so in need of a mother and her guidance. Her death left you confused and in desperate need of comfort. You tried to lean on your father. But in his own grief, he seemed to forget about you. Instead, you turned to your community. The maids and butlers became your family. They ensured your schooling would continue. The men even went as far as to teach you math and science. When you entered your teens, you attempted to take on the dukedom in secret. You went over all the documents and finances, trying to find a way to help your people and restore your estate. It was to no avail. Nothing could be done without your fathers signature. So you were left with no choice but to let it go. You focused on your studies and lessons with the maids. They helped bring you to maturity. Now, it was time to join society as an eligible woman.

Marriage has been heavy on your mind for many years now. The idea of meeting a man and marrying just for statues or titles didn't interest you. Neither of those things mattered to you. A marriage had become something with such a negative connotation. But love, now that was very different. You yearned for a true love match. You craved a deep connection unlike any you'd ever experienced. As a child, you'd developed small crushes on some of the neighborhood children. The butterflies and blushed looks were something you understood. But you'd never felt love before. You loved your family of course. You even loved your townspeople. But that was so different from what you hoped to find.

Becoming a debutante was not something you were looking forward to. Joining the ladies of high society was only asking for drama. But as the daughter of a Duke, it was your duty to join the ton and find a suitable husband. This had become increasingly important as your territory lost more and more money to your father's lifestyle. These thoughts scrambled around your mind as you got ready. You would be heading to the first ball of the season, your entrance into society, in moments. You were dressed in your nicest items. A deep red ball gown embroidered with golden florals along the bottom of the skirt and corset. Your hair was pinned back, allowing your face to stand out. Your maid, Jillian, was helping you put on your shoes as you looked at yourself in the mirror. Jillian had been with your family before your mother passed. She had watched you grow from a pained child to a strong young woman. She was with you every step of the way. Jillian became a motherly figure and your most trusted confidant.

Jillian pats your calf as she begins to stand, finished with clasping your heels. Her touch pulls you from your thoughts. You give her a polite smile and thank her, turning back to the mirror. Your anxiety is growing with each tick of the clock and in typical Jillian fashion, she can sense your discomfort. She comes to stand behind you, adjusting the pins in your hair.

"You know you're prepared for this. There's no need to sit and worry."

You meet her gaze in the mirror, her gentle blue eyes giving you a wave of comfort. You let out a sigh and play with your fingers.

"I felt prepared, but now that it's upon me, I'm not so sure. So much is at stake here, Jillian. The people of Selonia are relying on me to find someone who can help. What if I'm not up to standards?"

Jillian only chuckles at your words and places her hands on either of your shoulders.

"Standards? Now you're just being silly. You are a kind, intelligent, and strong young lady. Any suitor would be lucky to have you as his wife."

You turn to look at her, face scrunched in concentration.

"That's exactly the issue! It can't just be any suitor. They need to be able to fix dukedom and be the love I've been waiting for. What if that's unrealistic? How can I ever find someone to do both?"

Jillian places a comforting hand on your cheek, her thumb slowly stroking your cheekbone. She gives you a small smile before she speaks.

"Is that what you're so worried about? Dear, you're placing too much stress on yourself. Don't worry about the dukedom or Selonia. Go and find your love, everything else will fall in place."

You lean into her hand and smile, her words bringing you peace and a newfound sense of confidence. She pulls her hand away and turns towards your bedroom door. She calls back to you, "Now let's get you going! It's time."

————————————————

The carriage stopped in front of the King's summer estate. Many of the guests were already walking up the grand entrance and making their way inside. Your father hurried around and opened the door for you, holding his hand out and helping you down. Tonight he was doing his best to look and act presentable. You place your hand in his bent arm and let him lead you into the ball. Neither of you had spoken more than a few words to each other in years. You were surprised he even accompanied you tonight. His presence only made you nervous again. You weren't sure what his intent was by coming. Was he finally stepping back into his positions as father and Duke? Or was there some ulterior motive?

You found out quickly as he leaned in to speak to you, just as you were arriving at the entrance of the ballroom.

"I am expecting you to perform well tonight. I want to see gentlemen callers of high status calling on you tomorrow."

You look up at him and furrow your brows in confusion. So this is what he came for? To ensure you schmoozed with the highest titles with the most money? If so, he's going to be very disappointed.

"I'm here to find a reasonable suitor for myself, father. Not a suitor for you and Selonia."

He stops walking at your words, his head turning to look down at you. You can see his clenched jaw and anger in his eyes. His distaste for your words is written all over his face.

"Stop with your foolish girly fantasy of a love match. You're here to do as I say, and I'll be damned if you disobey me."

His words sting your heart. Your father had never spoken to you this way. When you were young, he was always so gentle and loving towards you. Now it seems you're just another pawn to be thrown around his chessboard as he pleased. You swallow the lump in your throat and move your gaze back down. Now was not the time to worry about this. You had more pressing matters.

You allowed your father to lead you to the entrance, stopping to allow the announcer to get your names. You took a deep breath as you prepared to face the ton. First impressions were everything, and you did not want to screw this up. The announcer clears his throat and stands at attention. Everyone in the room stops what they're doing to await the next debutante.

"Presented by her father, the Duke of Selonia, Miss Y/F/N."

You stare forward as your father leads you into the ballroom and towards the King and Queen of Corellia. You both stopped before them, your father unlinking your arms and bowing. You fall into a curtsy, bowing your head in respect. Your father stands back up and looks to the king. You stay still, awaiting the command to move. The king of Corellia rises from his throne and moves to stand in front of you. Everyone holds their breath, watching closely to see what unfolds. He places a gentle finger under your chin, raising your head to meet his gaze.

"Stand up for me, dear. You can relax."

You do as he says and stand quickly, giving him a polite smile as you return his intense eye contact. His finger never leaves your chin. He smiles back at you and begins to speak again.

"You are a true beauty, my dear. You know, they say the eyes are a window to the soul. I can see the love and strength living within yours. Hold onto that, they will be your biggest asset."

Your eyes widen at his words. You can't help the smile that spreads across your face.

"Thank you, your majesty."

With that, he removes his finger from your chin and climbs back to his throne. He turns his attention back to the room and declares, "Let the festivities continue."

Your father grabs ahold of your arm again and leads you away from the thrones. You can feel the crowd staring at you, but you can't find it in you to care. King Luke of Corellia spoke to you! Not only that, but he complimented you. This was a great honor bestowed on very few. You would take his advice to heart.

It seems your father had a different perspective. He leads you to a table with dance cards placed neatly in rows. You begin to search for your name as he smirks and begins talking.

"Compliments from the king will help greatly in gaining potential suitors. You'll be the most desired lady in the ton. Seems finding you a husband of high title will be easier than I thought."

You finish tying the card to your wrist and turn to look at the room. Your father continues to talk as you observe your surroundings. You look up at the elegant chandelier. It shines beautifully in the light, casting sparkles all over the room. You watch as they dance across the guests, creating an angelic and light atmosphere. A waiter comes by and offers you and your father glasses of champagne. You take a small sip and return your attention to the crowd. Many of the ladies are giving you glares or speaking with the eligible men in attendance. You take notice of their attire. Many have much more elegant gowns and jewels on. Their appearance shows how much they have to offer. Your feelings of inadequacy begin to creep back in. You don't even notice a man approaching.

Your gaze stops on a young man across the room. His dark brown curls and bright smile grabbed your attention. He was speaking to another man, seeming to be in deep conversation. His face was so expressive as he spoke, hands moving about to help prove whatever point he was trying to make. You couldn't help but be captivated by him. If there was anyone you were hoping to get a moment with this evening, it was him.

You snap from your thoughts as your father greets him and motions towards you. This man must have been reaching his thirties. Much older than any of the debutantes here. His bright ginger hair stands out like a sore thumb. He makes eye contact with you as your father talks. An uneasy feeling sweeps over you. For some reason, something about this man doesn't sit right with you.

"Y/N, I'd like you to meet the Earl of Drall, Lord Armitage Hux" your father says as he motions towards the man. Lord Hux takes your hand and raises it to his lips, kissing your knuckles. The contact makes you cringe internally. Your father looks at you expectantly and you quickly pull yourself together.

"Hello Lord Hux, it is so nice to meet you."

Your father smiles at both of you and claps a hand on Lord Hux's shoulder.

"Lord Hux here is a good friend of mine. I was hoping to introduce you both tonight."

The uneasy feeling now makes sense. Any friend of your fathers is likely a crook. Not at all the type of man you want to be speaking to. You nod politely, biting your tongue from speaking your mind freely. The men then turn away from you and begin a discussion of their own, leaving you out. You lift your glass of champagne back to your lips and turn your gaze back to the direction of the man you had spotted before.

Instead of finding the curly haired man again, you met eyes with someone else. Standing with his hands clasped behind his back was a raven haired man. He stood tall and broad, much larger than any other man in the room. His gaze pierced through you, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand. You wanted to approach him, but to do so would make you look indecent.

Your eye contact is cut off by Lord Hux coming in front of you. He holds out his arm to you in invitation.

"Would you do me the honor of a dance, Lady Y/N?"

You wanted nothing more than to say no and go speak to the mystery man. Or even go find the curly haired man from before. But you know you had no choice in the matter. To deny him would make you look bad to the ton. Plus, your father would never stand for it. So you placed your hand in his arm and nod.

"Of course, Lord Hux."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I really hope you enjoyed this! Let me know what you think!

Love,

Allie

[anzanity]

Why did I have to be here?

It's the main thought that plagues your mind. You can't stand parties, the mingling of emotions makes you sick. And the sight of people who are no longer alive attached to some leaves you feeling worse.

If only your friend understood when you tried explaining it to her, you wouldn't be at this Inn where someone decided to throw a little party. The Inn keeper isn't to pleased by the sudden party starting. You can feel her upset emotions above many of the others.

"Y/n! Come here and meet people!" Your friend, Izie calls out.

You sigh and walk over. She's trying to get some random guy interested in you, but your attention is drawn by the sunset. It would be a beautiful sight if there wasn't so much going on.

"What's the point. She clearly doesn't care." The guy snaps suddenly, his anger hits you in a wave.

"I'm so sorry. I had no idea Y/n would be like this... why don't I get you a drink?" Izie says desperately.

The guy sighs and nods, the two walking off.

You take that as a chance to escape. The roof would be far enough away for you to think clearly, maybe even enjoy the view. So you start climbing the tree that the Inn is built around.

You're surprised when you see a guy sitting atop the roof, he looks shocked when you make eye contact. Knowing you wouldn't want to be bothered while up here yourself, you decided to find a spot in the tree to perch on.

"You. Come here." The man calls out quietly, almost like he is worried people will hear him other than yourself.

You look back to him confused, but the tone he carries and the look he has practically forces you to comply. And he easily takes note of how you stiffly stand and leap over to the rooftop.

He frowns some as you walk over, "How are you seeing me?"

You raise a brow, "You're a spirit? Great. Of course that would top off the day. I don't do favors anymore." You groan and turn away.

"If I were a ghost, anyone could see me. But I'm not, so how do you see me?" He snaps.

You stop and look to him, "It's a long story. If you're not a ghost, what are you?"

"It's a long story." His eyes squint, "I have time. Do you?"

You laugh bitterly, something else he notes easily, "I can see the parts of people that weren't let go of or can't let go of something, they are ghosts not many can see. I can feel people's emotions as well. My sight isn't limited to just people though. It's the elements and anything tied to the elements that I can see too. No matter the situation."

He looks surprised for just a moment, blink and you'd miss it. "How is that possible?"

"Family curse from what I could figure out. Not much on it and nobody to ask." You shrug and cross your arms, "I've given the short version of the answer to you, so will you answer me now?"

"I'm one of Liyue's adepti." He answers curtly.

You look disbelieving at him, "What's with the over all negative aura? Adepti are supposed to be peaceful and bring peace."

"Tch. You'll find none of us made it out of the Archon war without regrets." He comments idly.

"The adepti I know still has a sounder consciousness than you." You comment, the gasp, "That came out a lot worse than I ment it."

He shakes his head, "It's fine. But I want to understand more of your story. You said a family curse? Who is your family?"

You shrug, "I never learned of my family name or its history. Just had a single note left with me that was an apology." You start and sit down, "Apparently my mother didn't mean to have child, didn't mean to pass on the curse. So she left me to figure everything out on my own. I may only look twenty, but that was sixty years ago..." You sigh and look at the landscape.

You were right, the view here is much better then with all those people down below.

"Why are you here?" He asks.

You sigh, "Izie. She's a sweet girl. She thinks she can solve all the problems in the world. So she forces me to come out with her. Just don't have it in me to let her travel to far places alone. Too dangerous and she's too niave."

Your mind wanders as you look to him, he didn't even question your age. Guess that happens when you open up to an immortal.

When he doesn't answer you continue, "Normally I wouldn't do this honestly. I travel, help people along the way, and become a face they forget. But she is always in trouble... I felt like it was the right thing to do... One day she'll settle down, realize I haven't aged a day, call me cursed, and tell me to leave. That's the day she won't need my protection, so I'll leave."

"Would you mind if I asked you to stay here a while? I believe I can get answers to the questions you have." He says, almost gentle but still in a commanding tone.

You find yourself unable to say no, and that confuses you. So instead you shrug, "Izie wouldn't agree to that..."

"Tell her you are staying here with an old friend." He casually offers.

You sigh. "Fine. I'll let her know after this has all settled down." Your eyes dart along the heads of those visible from where you are sitting.

The next hour is spent in silence, listening to the people below go from enjoying themselves to saying their farewells.

You stand to go down, but turn, "I've realized I never caught your name."

"Xiao." He replies.

"Xiao..." You nod. Something inside of you seems to alight as the name leaves your lips, like you should have knows it all along. "I am Y/n."

He nods, though his attention is elsewhere suddenly.

You sigh and walk to the lip of the roof, before simply jumping down onto the terrace.

Izie runs up to you, "You've been up there this whole time?"

You nod, "I have. A old friend of mine was up there, so I sat and caught up with him some. I was planning on staying here a while..."

"YES. THIS IS NOT HOW I PLANNED IT BUT YES. Good for you!" She cheers excitedly. "I'll leave you to... catch up," She winks, "While I head back to the harbor."

"Iz. It's not like that..." You sigh, exhausted by her overly happy energy already.

"Sure. I'll see you when you get back to town. Or if you don't, I'll get why." She winks, "And I promise. No crazy adventures without backup. You've taught me well!" She giggles and turns, walking away with a wave.

"She is very hyper. How did you ever keep up with her?" Xiao's voice is right behind you.

You jump some and turn, "Jeez your quiet. And I rarely ever did. Mostly just kept a few paces behind and caught up if she needed help."

He nods, "A room is prepared for you. Get some rest and we will leave tomorrow."

"Where to?" You raise a brow.

"Someone who keeps tabs on everything in Liyue." He says casually.

A third adepti is what comes to your mind, so you shrug, "Why not now?"

"You don't need rest?" He questions.

"I can go for a few days before I have to sleep, as long as I am not in too many crowds." You shrug.

He nods, "Well our visit will be with someone who's preference is to not be bothered this late at night. It's the only time he gets to himself."

A sigh leaves your lips, "One more night after sixty years won't hurt."

He nods, looking at you purposely, though you can't fathom what it is on his mind. But before you can ask, you hear a scream from a ways from the balcony. You instantly jump off, the hight not bothering you a bit, and use the wind to propel you at a safe angle to the ground.

Xiao watches this in shock before following you.

You find Izie and that guy surrounded by hilichurls, so, without hesitation, you jump into action. "Stay out of the way!" You snap at the guy (who is holding them back from hurting Izie despite how heavily outnumbered he is).

Your sword and anemo powers have you darting around the creatures and taking them out without even a scratch being made on you.

Your shocked when Xiao joins in and the two of you fall into a fast paced synced fighting, since normally others fighting with you just slows you down.

As soon as the last one drops you turn to Izie and the guy, their fear is strong though the guy is more concerned it would seem. You never did manage to differentiate fear and concern, the adrenaline and mix of emotions made them rather similar.

Izie leaps at you hugging tight, "They came out of nowhere. At first it was just a couple... Zen was handling it... then more arrived... thank you..."

The guy, Zen, sighs, "I didn't expect that..."

Xiao's eyes narrow, "It's likely due to the sudden influx of people. Avoid large gathering like that out of the cities from now on."

Izie pulls back, "Is this your friend? It must be. I thought you were a strong fighter before but it seems you'd been holding back all along. And then the two of you together was incredible!"

"Thanks... You two should get back to Liyue soon. It's dangerous to be out for too long." You shrug it off, suddenly feeling exhausted.

"Right. I'll see you later, Y/n!" She smiles greatfully and turns to Zen.

As they walk away, you rub your forehead and sigh, turning back to the Inn.

Xiao looks at you, but you can't quite sense what he's feeling.

Come to think of it, he's only seemed to have the sense of turmoil about him this whole time. Even if his facial expression slightly changes to show another emotion, you just feel the turmoil. It's familiar to how you yourself feel most days.

And then there's the way you fought. You've never felt more at ease when having someone fight along side you, nor fallen into sync with them.

"Are you alright?" Xiao asks, having moved a few paces ahead.

"Yes. I think the energy from today finally caught up with me." You wave it off and start walking.

It doesn't take long for you to reach the Inn and head to your room where you easily find yourself falling asleep, like it was calling to you for the first time in a long time. You can't remember the last time you needed to sleep. Normally you do it just to ease the tension of all the interactions you had over the days.

Xiao can't help but to wander, the way you complied to his commands, this curse you have, and the way you seem to be attuned to the world in a familiar and similar way, what does it all mean? It seems like something he should remember, but he simply cannot remember it.

Smoke and fog surround you as fight your way through crowds of powerful beings. Flashes of all the elements blurs your vision as you flow through the targets of your wrath. You see Xiao and he says something to you, then you follow him to an area that's practically empty. Something strikes fear and grief in you, suddenly you don't see anyone around you. Then you feel like something pierces you.

You wake with a shallow gasp and jolt upright. This is the first dream you've had in decades, and by far the most confusing.

Your hand goes to your waist where you felt the sharp pierce, but nothing is wrong with it. A sigh escapes your lips as you stand and head out to the balcony.

It's quiet, and the sunrise is stunning. You find yourself lost in it.

"Would you care for anything this morning?" A young woman asks.

"I'm fine. Thank you." You comment, and she leaves. She had such a neutral energy, most of the staff here does for the most part. It was only during the party they seemed annoyed. Before it and after, they were serene. It's a unusual feeling, but you could get used to it.

You feel Xiao's emotions as he approaches, but stay silently facing the sunrise.

He sighs, "Not to interrupt, but are you ready?"

You nod, "Where to?"

"We will be meeting outside of Liyue Harbor." He says casually.

You look to him and nod, "At your lead."

He stops and looks to you, "Don't say that."

You nod, "I'm not sure where that came from. Apologies."

He nods and starts walking. You follow along, enjoying the views of the hike for the first time in a while.

Within a few hours you arrive to the cliff just before the gates of Liyue Harbor. You recognize the man, Zhongli, standing there. Your eyes squint I'm scrutiny.

Zhongli smiles at you, "You have indeed seen me many times over the decades. I too am interested in your secret. However, it pains me to say I doubt I'll be of use to your search."

Xiao sighs, "You mean to say you know nothing of her or this curse?"

Zhongli sighs, "I know of the curse, but nothing of use to you both. You'll be on your own to solve this."

Xiao looks away, annoyance coming through, "Is that a command or recommendation?"

"I have nothing of gain or loss to make this a contract. It will be up to you two to decide." He smiles lightly.

You finally step in, "Hang on. You." You look to Zhongli, "Your the Geo Archon, aren't you? That's the only explanation for you being young like this still. And Madam Ping is the only Aduptus that stays in Liyue."

"And why wouldn't I be someone like you?" He questions.

Xiao sighs, "We may technically have time on our side for this conversation, but I do have things to do."

Zhongli chuckles, "Of course. I will see you both in due time."

Xiao grabs your arm and teleports back to Wangsu Inn. You can feel how angered he is at the moment, so, when he let's go of you, you find yourself grabbing his arm. "Xiao."

"Not now." He snaps at you.

You sigh and let go, your mouth feeling unable to move.

He seems to notice how your grip drops and you instantly lose whatever fight you had, which only further angers him.

He sighs and jumps, before vanishing in a cloud of smoke.

The next coming decades are long and hard. You stayed at the Inn, traveling with Xiao on occasion to try to find answers. Over time You come to the conclusion that you simply could not defy him, no matter how much you wanted to. He felt guilty when you explained it, and his commanding tone changed with you. He began asking you if you would do thing, despite it sounding unusual for him to request it rather than demand it.

When the Traveler and Pimon arrived marked the start of a whirlwind that didn't end until the night that the Jade Palace was destroyed to save Liyue.

When they arrived looking for you in specific, you were genuinely confused (not that they could tell).

"Hey! Just the immortal we were looking for!" Pimon shouts.

"What for?" You raise a brow.

"Well, I was wondering what you thought of Xiao, if you trust him and such?" The Traveler asks.

You nod, "Is that something that needs questioned?"

"But how do you really feel about him?" Pimon asks.

You sigh, "I'd do anything for him... I care about him in every way possible... but why?"

They both smirk playfully, Pimon announcing happily, "The tension between the two of you has been driving us insane."

"How would telling you... he's behind me..." You mutter out and blush.

Xiao's voice is firm yet gentle, "Is that really how you feel?"

You turn to him and nod, "What about you..?"

He silently puts a hand in your hair and gently touches his forehead to yours, "I hardly think I need to say that I care for you in every way as well."

For a moment there's dim light around you both, memories returning in a flood of emotions.

Xiao and you stand in front of a god you'd been searching for on behalf of Morax. She had broken a deal she made, so the two of you were sent to kill her.

"You dare face me without your Archon present?" She sneers at you both.

Xiao and you silently charge her, dealing blow after blow in perfect synch.

Just as she drops to her knees, Morax arrives. Xiao and you stand side by side and nod to each other, knowing you did well.

She raises a hand at you both and shouts, "Your love thus far has been bathed in bloodshed. I curse you both to forget eachother, and the mortal shall live as the Yaksha does. Should she bare child to any other she will reincarnate into that child."

A bright burst of light encompasses Xiao and you, knocking you both unconscious.

Zhongli looks at her visibly upset.

She smirks, "Should you attempt to inform them of any of this, the mortal will age at sudden and perish. The memories shall return to the yaksha and he will bare the weight of her debts as well."

Zhongli traps her, piercing a spear through her.

Xiao and you pull apart abruptly as the memory fades, both sadness and joy in your expressions.

The Traveler and Pimon look confused at you both.

"It seems we were destined after all..." You smile soft, the memories of how you two used to talk about destiny now fresh in your thoughts again.

He shakes his head and sigh, "But does this mean you are mortal again..?"

Your hand goes to his cheek, "We will discover that over time. Let us just enjoy our time now..."

[nctrice]

Professor Jaehyun x Female Reader

Rating: 18+🛑

Word count: 2K

Content: smut, unprotected sex, fingering, dominant Jaehyun, praising, teacherxstudent, dilf Jaehyun, slight public intercourse

Disclaimer: I do not own Jung Jaehyun nor claim him in any sort of way. This Fanfiction is made up out of pure imagination and is strictly just fiction.

A/N: this is my first time writing for this tumblr platform and please give strict constructive advice if needed! Thanks!

___________________________

"Gosh he's hot!" I whispered under my breath gazing upon the dilf himself, Mr.Jung or in other words my calculus professor.

He stood tall and confident in front of the oddly huge white board, broad shoulders facing the class until he eventually turns around to ask a random student to answer the question that I had yet to even realize what it was. He swiftly scans the multiple rows of seats depicting who had been paying attention and who hasn't. I slowly began to sink in my seat avoiding be called on at any cost.

"Ah, y/n! I see you there! Come up here and answer this question for the class." He demands in a polite manner.

I had no problem with it of course, until he said to come forth. This is a first he's ever asked anyone to write the actual answer. My heart pounds within my chest, praying I don't make a fool of myself walking down or back up these unnecessarily wide stairs.

Mr.Jung steps aside and greets me with his well known charming smile. The amount of times this man alone has made me want scream to knock all the built up nerves out of my body. He made me feel more than just butterflies, I couldn't quite put a finger on it.

"Need help?" Mr.Jung folds his arms stepping closer.

"N-no thank you, I'm sure I got it."

My hands fumbled to reach for the dry erase marker he held out for me. It was a bit warm considering he's been holding it for more than half the class. I took a quick glance at the question, immediately regretting what I said. I did indeed need help, and I don't got it. I'm sure he could tell I was hesitating as my finger sits comfortably above my top lip.

'here goes nothing.' I thought before writing what I thought was the right answer. Mr.Jung examined the question, "close but not quite. The answer was -9, you forgot to subtract this which why you got -2. Try another easy one similar to this."

Bullshit. This question didn't look no where as easy. If I mess up again oh well, it's not like he'd pop out with another question to further embarrass me. As I thought long and hard about the problem, it began to feel like it was just us two. Him applying an uncomfortable amount of pressure with just the distance between us and me panicking underneath his anticipated stare.

"Not quite right neither, it'd be best for you to stay after class you seem to be having a lot of troubles."

Mr.Jung wiped the whiteboard free of any writing once I answered the last question and moved on with his lessons. I barely made it to the first step before he had wrote the next problem to briefly go over thanks to me. His words far more stern and exaggerated in attempt to sub me. Out of my entire time being in his class this had been the most I've ever seen this man share eye contact. Yet, it wasn't sweet and kind, more like curiosity had taken over and he couldn't get why I answered both questions incorrectly.

That exact thought had been on his mind throughout the rest of the class. A part of him felt anxious to know what it was that made me fumble at the problem that he knew I could solve perfectly fine on my own.

______________________

"Alright you all have a great rest of your afternoon and please do study for this upcoming test. It'll be more than 40% of your grade!" Mr.Jung announced as the classroom flooded out the doors, All except one person.

"Ms.l/n,"

He heaved a deep sigh, shoving his hands into his almost too tight dress pants pocket. He paced around his desk before sitting directly on the rounded edge. He looked dramatically intimidating, like he wanted to degrade you the moment he could.

"Is everything okay? You're normally really good with math. It hurt me to see you troubled with such an easy question."

My hands couldn't help but fiddle with the zipper sewed into my bag. How was I supposed to tell my teacher that he was the problem. Not in any sort of bad way, and not in any good way neither.

"Yeah I'm fine, just had a rough week." I lied.

"You seem kind of tense. Am I making you uncomfortable?" He innocently spoke while his eyes examined my body for some type of body language.

My knees buckled, hands folding anything to keep me calm, and not mentioning my blushed face. I was 100% sure that my face was completely flushed a crimson red. There was no denying it.

He didn't wait for an answer, and simply lowered his curtain covering the window then locked the door. I was unsure of what his intentions were but my mind was far off somewhere it shouldn't be regarding the fact that I'm just his student. The thought of him shoving all of his folders and papers off his desk and pinning me clouded my mind. My dying fantasy to have the slightest interaction that no other girl has ever had with him.

"I'm all ears. That's if you're comfortable with telling me of course." He knocked me into reality as I began to feel guilty for thinking negatively of his intentions.

"I'm not sure I can be completely honest." I mumbled beneath my breath breaking eye contact.

"And why is that?"

Mr.Jung held his arm out for me to grab. With little to no hesitation at all, I placed my hand in his. His thumb grazes over my knuckles a fee times until his eyes darted up towards mine.

"Cause I'm in no sort of position to have such thoughts."

I simply remove my hand from his grip feeling the tense sensation overwhelm me once again building up the need to put an end to this. He sensed it immediately.

"Turn around."

"Huh?"

"I'm not gonna say it again." His voice had more depth and demand stringing to it.

I did exactly what he said, no questions asked. His hands set firmly on my shoulders guiding me closer towards him until I felt the warmth radiating off of his body and onto mine. His thumb running deep circles into my shoulder blades releasing the tension that remained.

"Now tell me what position you feel you need to be in."

His hands made its way to my spine tracing all the way down to my waist before kneading my lower back.

"Missionary?"

"That can work too but I meant regarding to what you said. What position do you need to be in to have such dirty thoughts?"

By now, you were inches away from in between his legs, as much as I wished to be in this dearest situation, my first instinct was to freeze up. Was this really happening?

"I'm just your student. The things I want to do will ruin your career." I admitted.

He hummed at my answer willingly holding my waist and pulling me directly into his lap. I felt the slightest bulge poking me through my thin leggings. His head rested onto my right shoulder sending shivers down my back.

"There's nothing wrong with the student getting a little extra lesson with chemistry." He bluntly stated right beneath my ear.

I began to feel throbbing and anticipation between my legs.  Or maybe I had just noticed it now. His hands ventured from my waist toward the hem of my leggings, thumb pushing past my leggings and rubbing the outline of my panties. My stomach bursted with butterflies under his touch. He bit his lips as he felt the smooth lace of my underwear.

"Good choice Ms.l/n," he huskily whispered.

"Tell me about how you fantasize about me in explicit detail if you would."

My chapped lips parted realizing a deep breath I held in since he began to touch me in the ways I haven't yet imagined. His fingers trailed down to palm my womanhood gently creating the knot in my stomach.

"You had me alone like now, desperately removing everything off the desk to pin me down. Ripping my shirt in half as you cupped my boobs. One hand busy playing with my nipples, the other rubbing rough circles on my clit as you told me come."

He chuckled in response as he removed his hand from me and remained silent. As much as I wanted to turn around a catch a glimpse of his face, I was already too embarrassed sharing my intimate dreams with him.

He bit his lips dauntingly, "can I?"

"What?"

"Can I make that dream a reality?"

He slightly nibbled onto my ear, heat fuming from my dripping core soaking my panties by the second. I silently nodded afraid to speak at all. "I want to hear you say it, can I touch you?"

"Yes, Mr.Jung."

"Good girl, just for this I'll allow you to call me Jaehyun okay baby?"

I nodded once again holding back the whimpers threatening to leave my lips. His hands rubbed my ass gently getting rough within seconds, groping me every chance he got. The bulge teasingly poked at my core as he undid his pants lowering his draws enough to let his member spring free; slowly stroking himself onto my ass. Jaehyun grunted as the friction increased. His fingers tugged the the hem of my leggings sliding them down to my knees locking them in place.

"Damn you're sexy." He moaned taking in the sight of my now exposed ass. He stroked himself aggressively before tracing my spine with his fingers and bending me over. His other hand pushing my panties to the side as he inserted double digits into my soaked core curling his fingers and his thumb circled my clit. My breath became unstable panting like there was no tomorrow.  My walls clenched amongst his digits fighting the urge to come.  "Mhmm I-I can't hold it." I moaned balling my fists up against my knees for support. He took his digits out sucking every ounce making sure I heard the slurping noise before he lined himself at my entrance.

I inhaled a sharp breath as he entered his tip inside me. I had no clue how big he was but felt my walls adjusting to the girth of him. I bit my lip, holding back from the moans. His hands firmly placed on my hips as he shoved the rest of his large length inside me. I let out a small gasp followed with hitched breaths as his length reached what felt like my cervix. "Shh, you don't want no one to hear you don't you?" He whispered stopping in his tracks for a split second. He pulled almost all the way out coated with your juices only just to shove his length in back in reaching spots he may have missed.

"Oh fuck." Jaehyun groaned thrusting sluggishly. My walls clenched around him causing his grip to tighten on my waist. Tears streaming down my face in pleasure. He picked up the pace being careful enough to refrain from making any clapping noises. As much as he want to rail me until my eyes rolled back and seen stars he couldn't, not in this environment. Yet it was still enough to satisfy the both of our needs. Soft whimpers were the only thing he'd allow out of my mouth, anything louder than that he'd immediately pull out as a sign of punishment. His hand left my waist grabbing fistfuls of my hair and yanking it to see my fucked out facial expressions.

"Jaehyun." I breathed out as he rammed into me.

"Ms.l/n, you dirty little slut of mine, Ms.l/n you feel so good taking all my length in your wet pussy." He groaned aggressively in my ear pounded into me completely forgetting the fact that we were in his classroom. ~

"Ms.l/n! Please stop zoning out in my class!" Mr.Jung semi-shouts jolting me out of my day dream.  I immediately fixed my posture examining the dozens of eyes all drawn towards me including Mr.Jeong. He cocked an eyebrow at me before running his tongue on the inside of his cheek.

"See me after class." He demanded and continued on with his lesson. And just like that, I added on to my series of fantasies with my Calculus professor.

.

[tumbledfreckles]

i’ll prompt you :) childhood friends run into each other after years (i’m assuming you were joking, but even if it’s in ten years, i’d love to see your take on this prompt)

Hahaha I never said I was kidding! I hope you like this anon, although I feel you’ve taken advantage of my request. You seem to excited to be the anon who challenged me. But this was a great prompt. 

Enjoy xx

Holy fuck he was fit. 

It wasn’t possible that someone could get more fit as they got older, was it? Particularly when they were already the fittest person you knew. Surely they wouldn’t get more fit over time. They would get less fit.

Definitely less. 

And yet, as Lily stole multiple glances across the crowded space, sneaking looks between murmurs and feinted nods of attentiveness at the woman before her, whose name she wished she could remember, she confirmed the truth of it. 

James Potter had gotten even fitter in the years since she’d seen him last. 

It wasn’t really fair, but of course, probably what could be expected. He’d grown a lot in their last years of secondary. He’d been lanky, towering above most of their class. Towering above her. Great face, of course, even better hair. She’d itched to run her fingers through it more than once when they’d been Head students together. But there had always been a boyish quality about him. Not quite grown into his own body, at times he’d resembled a gangly, Bambi-like fawn, all limbs. 

He was all man now. 

He’d spotted her too, Lily was sure. They’d caught eyes a couple of times across the room. She’d smiled, tipped her drink to him. James had winked in return. He was standing with his parents, who were standing with the hosts of the evening, the McKinnons. Marlene’s mum was lit up with pride, her eldest son getting married at last. They’d spared no expense on a beautiful rehearsal party. 

Lily hadn’t seen him with a date, but someone as fit as James Potter, did not turn up to a destination wedding without one. 

The same could not be said for Lily. 

With no one to rescue her until Marlene and Dorcas had completed the family rounds, Lily finally found herself a break in the conversation and excused herself. The poor woman didn’t look particularly happy to leave her anecdote unfinished. Just what she, a postman, and a possum had in common, Lily wasn’t sure, but she wasn’t hanging around to find out. 

She desperately needed another drink. 

“Champagne, please. Actually, give me two, I’ll drink one here and take one with me,” Lily grimaced a smile at the lovely girl behind the bar. Luckily, instead a judging look, the girl only laughed. 

“Hard night?” 

“I should know better than to come to these things stag.” 

“You stole my line, Evans.” 

Lily turned from where her elbows rested on the bar, a smile already turned up the corners of her lips. She knew that voice. All this time, it hadn’t lost its warmth. Its charm. “Potter, fancy seeing you here.” 

“Evans,” he bent to kiss her cheek, a hand on her waist. The touches lit her skin on fire instantly. “It’s so great to see you.” 

“You as well,” she just managed to plant her own kiss, feeling the scratch of a light stubble, before he straightened up. Her hand, used to brace herself on his shoulder, now trailed down his arm. It curved around his bicep, admiring the well developed muscle. It dragged along his forearm, exposed by the rolled sleeves of his linen shirt. It caught on his hand. 

Her heart skipped a beat when his fingers curled to link with hers, holding her in place. 

“Did I hear that right? You’re here alone?” James tilted his head. “That can not be true.” 

“And why’s that?” Lily tried not to let her cheeks redden at the way he was looking at her, but he was making it really difficult. 

“Because you look more bloody gorgeous than you did when you were seventeen, Evans. And boys are meant to get smarter when they become men. Someone must have snapped you by now.” 

“I’m not a fish, Potter,” Lily raised her chin tartly. “I don’t just jump on anyone’s line. And apparently you’re here alone, as well. I thought at least Sirius would be on your arm.” 

“He’s on Moony’s,” James nodded towards a corner of the room. Lily followed his sight to see that sure enough, Sirius and Remus sat at the table there, hands linked, heads bent together as they laughed at something Peter was saying. 

“Wow. I never thought they’d get it together.” 

“Two years now,” James smiled warmly as he watched his mates. 

“And what about you? No one special? You’re really here stag?” Lily was aware that the space between was not considered appropriate for someone you hadn’t seen in many years. Wasn’t appropriate for someone who you weren’t intimately involved with. They were so close she had to tip her head right back to be able to look up into James’ twinkling eyes. 

But James hadn’t moved back. Hadn’t shown he had any negative feelings toward her standing in his space. If anything, he appeared to be leaning further into her space. 

“I am, indeed, here alone,” James sighed dramatically. He reached forward to tuck a loose strand of hair behind Lily’s ear. “Sad, isn’t it?” 

“Someone as fit as you? An absolute tragedy.” 

Lily reached for the now filled glass of champagne from the bar, breaking eye contact with James only long enough to nod her thanks to the waitress. She took a slow sip, noting the way his eyes followed the movement of her lips. 

His tongue darted out to lick his own. 

“You know, Evans, you always were my one that got away. I guess I just never got over you.” 

She knew he was kidding, but no one had told her heart. It beat an up tempo drum in her chest. 

“Well, you should have asked me out, then.” 

“I did.” 

“When we were fifteen, Potter. You were a berk.” 

“And you were a heartbreaker.” 

“You should have asked me out, again,” Lily shook her head at his antics. “When we were seventeen. You were much better then.” 

James’ free hand had returned to her waist, fingers scrunching into the soft fabric of her dress. Pressing into the skin underneath. 

“What if I asked you out now?” his voice was low, huskier than she’d ever heard it. “What would you say?” 

“That depends,” Lily had returned her glass to the bar. Her unoccupied fingers landed on his chest, toying with one of the small white buttons on his shirt. 

“On what?” James’ head bent even closer, his breath mingling with hers. 

“On how well you kiss, of course,” Lily pushed up on her toes, steadying herself against him. “Wouldn’t want to find out you’re a dud after all these years.” 

“Now that really would be a tragedy, Evans.” 

James followed these words with a swift but soft claim on her lips, cancelling out any retort she might have made. From the way his hands moved to bury in her hair, tilt the angle of her head to gain better access to her mouth, pull her even closer against him, Lily was pretty sure he was going to get that date. 

He really was unfairly fit.