#ghost f**kers

[fujosh1dreamer]

This was the most validating episode of helluva boss, as a millie stan. I've loved millie since day one, and Im happy to say I've defended her many times when it comes to toxic fans who don't understand the show.

Now we have actual spoken confirmation that millie and blitz are best friends. 🥹

They adorable and they deserve all the happiness. That flashback was amazing and did a great job of showing their relationship and how everyone really does depend on blitz.

Also this moment totally broke me.

The face blitz makes when millie hands him back the skull charm, I'm glad he didn't lose it i would've been devastated.

Overall a favorite episode of mine. I'll probably talk about blitz being upset over stolas in another post this one is all for millie.

[saydoubleu]

GHOST F**KERS

[sleepyjuniper]

WAIT A SECOND I JUST REALIZED I WAS FUCKING RIGHT

THESE GLOVES WERE CHOSEN TO CONCEAL HIS SCARS. NOW THAT WE KNOW THE WHITE IS SCARS

So my theory is further backed up, that Blitzø's gloves being on/off has become kind of an indicator of when he's being his true self, or being emotionally vulnerable, vs when he's being closed off. On the date with Stolas when he won't allow himself to be open and vulnerable? Emphasis on his gloved hand pulling away from Stolas'. Both disguises, from CHERUBS and Ghost F**kers? No gloves. Honestly, Brandon's own touch on Blitzø shines through there.

[drama-glob]

SPOILERS FOR "GHOSTF**KERS!!!"

OMG!!! So much happened in this episode and just poor Blitz all around. ;_; ;_; ;_; While it's not good that he's running I.M.P. into the ground and binging junk food while watching TV, he's just in such a bad place from his fallout with Stolas and it seems like he's at the depression stage of grief; I guess he tried working through it, if the shorts do take place before this episode, but it didn't work and so he resorted to his new coping method. :/ Millie doing what she can for him is heartwarming as she continues to be his most supportive friend, even though Blitz's desire to be Bethany and try to f*ck some ghosts rather than face his actual problems is obviously just delaying things. :/

I appreciated the blatant "Scooby-Doo" reference, but things taking a very dark turn once Millie and Blitz part ways is beyond messed up. O_O We knew from the trailer that we were going to see the "ghost" mess with him and make him see his mom, but to watch her LITERALLY BURN in front of him in addition to seeing all the horribly injured versions of Millie is twisted, gut wrenching and horrific. O_O

My heart broke when Blitz didn't want Millie to touch him and yelling that he destroys everything, but I love Millie immediately going in to reassure him that he made her life better and it was soooo cool that we got to see how Millie and Blitz met. It was lovely getting to see how I.M.P. came to be and that between the other episodes we got this season, were able to see how overall everyone bettered from Blitz's involvement in their lives.^_^<3<3<3 Millie and Blitz just resting shoulder to shoulder at the end of her speech was just so sweet and felt good after all the crap Blitz just went through. <3<3<3

Big surprise that Rolando was the bad guy and anyone that didn't know that must not have seen the trailer. ;) His powers were so creepy but cool (if I'm being honest) and now we can say we saw an infestor demon in action. ;) Rolando's fight scene was scary but awesome and certainly shows he's been at this game for a while. O_O Even though seeing Tilla burn in front of him was probably still the most horrific part for me, Blitz being forced to see all those painful memories was a close second as well as him begging for Rolando to stop hurting Millie when he controls his body. ;_; ;_; ;_; Millie was right though that Blitz has this and I love that Millie beat the possession out of him. ;) I did laugh pretty hard though at the final move just being Blitz kicking the ghost sucker into the pull, but hey, it did get the ghost so I'd say the product worked...even if it did cost a couple thousand souls. ;)

Millie and Blitz just having a little chat at the end of it all felt really nice and even if Blitz is still depressed about Stolas (which I can't say I blame him), he at least doesn't have to cope as he was doing before, can start to actually heal and has Millie there to lift him up like he did for her.<3<3<3

At least Moxxie got to a happy ending too with getting to enjoy a musical and some ice cream after trying to complete his truly awful task. ;)

Such a great episode overall and that while it did hit in the feels department, I know I spiraled into way worse scenarios this could have gone (as I'm sure many of us did ;) ), so I'm glad the level of anguish was tempered by the strength of Millie and Blitz's friendship to see them through this job. ^_^<3<3<3

[phoneycam]

So i was looking for new codywan fanfiction as i usually do when i come across this post and my brain just, yes.

I love to think it was just inevitable and not really conscious. Like they don't fucking realize because why would they?

One day Cody and some of the ghost company are giving the tour to the new batch of shinies, explaining how things work, the rules, cleaning shifts, where everything is, etc.

They arrive to the bridge where the General is waiting for them with the kindest smile. This is the rutine everytime they get a new batch, Obi-Wan presents himself formally without the kaminoans presense sucking up any friendly encounter and Cody doesn't have to deal with his sad tooka eyes when the shinies are too terrified of him otherwise.

The commander is about to present them to their new general when his comm lights up showing Rex incoming transmition. He looks up to his generals comm also lightning up, they share a concerned look before answering at hte same time.

"Master! thanks the forse-" "CODY WE NEED KRIFFING REINFORCEMENTS" "Re-... calm d..wn! it's.. -ot that bad!-" "SKYW...KER JUST-... XPLODED TH-.. SHIP-"

While the shinies jump on diverse levels of startle, the veterans share an exasperated-concerned look. They had just set off cordinates to Coruscant. Obi-Wan sighs.

"It seems like we'll need to end the tour a little earlier than expected general." Cody takes of his helmet resigned and ignoring the transmitions shouting at eachother.

"Indeed commander. Guess i'll be waiting for you to join us at the war office" Obi-wan signs to Waxer and Boil to follow him.

Cody sighs and lean over to kiss his general when he passes him.

"I'll grab you a cup of tea on my way" Obi-Wan smiles fondly and returns the kiss.

" Thank you dear" He respondes and exits the bridge not realizing that one, his not being followed, two, the deafening silence he just left behind and three, the gaping group of shinies. In his defense, Cody doesn't realize either. He just smiles smitten until the doors close behind his beloved and the commander mask falls in again.

"You heard the general, change the coordinates to... is there a problem?" Rex who is still on is the first to come out of it.

"WHAT IN THE ACTUAL F-" And then chaos.

[snorkling-in-sodasea]

Ghost F-Kers Rant

Because yeah, I'm pissed at this episode. I initially liked it but that's literally just because it had the fucking Stolitz drama that I'm so sick and tired of at this point to the back. It may be how the episode even happened but it was still to the back.

Then I read YMMV on TV tropes for this episode and realize that, under Informed Wrongness, Blitz is a fucking douche. Again.

And now I'm right back into hating Blitz so I don't like the episode as much anymore.

It's amazing. It truly is. Stolas is literally the only reason I can ever care about Blitzo. When Blitzo is being made to care about and fall in love with his abuser and sexual extorter. Take Stolas away, though, and I go straight back to hating Blitzo and wanting him to suffer.

And no, I don't mean 'suffer' like that fucking constant trauma dumping that the show writers seem to do with Blitzo in every single episode now. I'm talking about making him suffer comedically.

Eustace Bagg from Courage the Cowardly Dog. Dan from Dan Vs. Those two men are grown up entitled babies and yet, I can feel for them far more than I ever can Blitzo. Eustace and Dan definitely don't need a sexual abuser like how Blitzo does for me to feel sorry for them and/or like them

Maybe that's because of two major things that are coming to me off the top of my head. For one, the writers made sure that Eustace and Dan got as much shit as they gave. Or at the very least, they often made sure to remember that they're assholes and should be punished for it

The other thing is probably that, more often than not, it was funny. It wasn't just cathartic when these assholes got consequences for their jerkass behavior. It was also funny. Sure, Courage the Cowardly Dog and Dan Vs. are comedies but maybe that's it. Helluva Boss really was better off being a comedy and nothing more, so that way, Blitzo can suffer like Eustace and Dan and that would've been perfectly fine

Because really, nobody's ever held accountable in the right way. As in, the actual fucked up shit someone does, especially if they're in Viv's favor, actually get held accountable for that shit. It's treated as no big deal that Blitzo has always stalked his employees and tried being their 'third' against their wishes. Stolas is constantly written like his worst flaws are just not being aware or missing the hint, like his racism and fetishizing ways aren't a thing he does, as well as neglecting his daughter the very second Blitzo re-entered his life. And getting into Hazbin Hotel, and just to give a couple of examples for that show, only a fucking passing mention is made about Angel always violating Husk's boundaries and apparently Husk isn't a bad guy for taking his frustration out on everyone and airing their dirty laundry when it was only Angel who was bothering him at the time. At least if Helluva Boss was strictly a comedy that made assholes suffer comedically, then I wouldn't give as much of a fuck (I don't know about Hazbin Hotel but I'm staying focused on my rant for Ghostfuckers here)

But yeah, I hate how, in this episode, Blitzo nearly bankrupts the company that Millie works in and she's the one who says sorry to him. Like, does Millie seriously not realize the end result that would've affected her? Sure, Blitzo may have given her a new life she loves but he was threatening to end it. And worse, he couldn't have been bothered to care or even think about how his incapability of managing his personal shit without dragging others into it would have affected the employees he claims are his family

Come on, Millie, your and Moxxie's jobs were on the fucking line! If anything happened to your job, then you wouldn't be able to stay in your apartment building. You wouldn't be able to have the city life. And if you can't stay in the city, where you were so damn happy to be in because it proved you could be more than a simple farm girl or, at best an underpaid goon, then you. Would have lost that.

You would have needed to go back to the farm where you were worried you'd be stuck in for the rest of your life. And honestly, you're lucky that you even have someone to turn to, somewhere to go, even if you hate it. Because I'm sure there's so many people who become downright homeless all because they're out of a job. But yeah, even though you're lucky, Millie, Blitzo's actions would have still left a negative impact on your life that you never would've wanted

Let's not forget how it affects your husband, too. Moxxie would have preferred the in-laws over Crimson, yeah, but it's still not gonna be a happy life for him. Not when he's with people who just barely hide their disdain towards him. That means Moxxie's life is also going to be severely negatively affected, his life would have taken a turn that he would have never wanted, and it's all because fucking Blitzo decided that a pity party for himself was the most important thing ever

Honestly, Blitzo only seems to be caring and selfless in comparison to Stolas. When it comes down to it, Blitzo will still make himself the most important person in his own life. And yeah, that does make itself known when he's in a 'mood' because there's people out there who would legitimately rather throw pity parties than actually overcoming adversity or personal problems

Blitzo was looking to adopt a kid at the pet pound but he didn't want a 'sad-looking' kid. He didn't see poor souls that shouldn't be there, he just saw the place potentially providing a convenient sap who can 'learn' to love him. He just adopted Loona because... she's the prettiest? I'd like to believe 'he saw himself in Loona' but either those kids earlier were a different type of sad from Blitzo himself or Blitzo just saw a pretty, crying girl and wanted to save her (in a platonic way, I just don't know how else to phrase that)

Blitzo wanted to get together with Barbie despite how it's the most obvious thing ever that she doesn't want him in her life again. Blitzo still goes out of his way to find her, being hostile the very second he doesn't get answers that he wants, makes Barbie out to be the bitch that he voluntarily took a week-long search for her, and never calls off the hit that would cost Barbie her job. Blitzo obviously had to know during the verbal confrontation that the target for Moxxie's job is someone Barbie needs for her own job. Yet, when the physical confrontation happened, Blitzo never stops Moxxie from killing the guy. It seems nice on the surface to offer Barbie help when she was out of a job but, given his general attitude in Unhappy Campers - specifically towards Barbie in this case - and the fact that Blitzo lets the hit happen even though he should know how it would affect Barbie, it just comes off as Blitzo wanting someone around who would notice it when he dies. Even if Blitzo didn't think of making Barbie dependent on him so that she'd have an excuse to be around him and give him a chance to 'mend' any broken bonds, it's still clear enough that he decided that his livelihood is more important than Barbie's thanks to, once again, never calling off that hit. Probably the most insulting part is that Blitzo offers help like his general nasty attitude towards Barbie and complete disregard for her personal wishes wasn't going to be an issue at all. Oh, and let's not forget how Blitzo spent months not knowing that Barbie checked out of the hospital, meaning that he never had a desire to talk to her or check up on her for months. That just seems, at least to me, more like he only cared in Unhappy Campers about a bond with Barbie for his personal gain

Blitzo may have cared about Fizzarolli but he had the fucking gall to play the misery game with the guy who lost his limbs, which means that his very lifestyle is affected and it's only lucky that Fizzarolli even secured new limbs and a job to keep living. After all, Blitzo may have been thinking about his mom but it's not like Fizzarolli didn't have people, too. (At least I hope so, since Viv, for all the new characters she creates, rarely ever gives almost any named character more than five connections to others) The thing is, Fizzarolli would have needed hospitalization and care and most people in the circus would have been either dead or too busy to do so. Some might even think of Fizzarolli as dead weight and wouldn't want to even bother. In fact, as awful as he's actually allowed to be, Cash Buckzo is notable for being willing to do so, especially for an unrelated young man. So yeah, Fizzarolli is lucky that he even had anyone wanting to take care of him, especially since I can't hold hopes for anyone else in the circus, and that's even more true since he's never had any parents or blood-related family appear in the show so far. So to shorten it, Fizzarolli lost his limbs, his anatomy - at least until he got new limbs - his very lifestyle and possibilities for the future with or without Ozzie, any friends he could have lost to the fire, and, to some extent, the ability to live peacefully thanks to the fucking trauma. But no, Blitzo decides to act like he's the one who lost more than Fizzarolli ever did, because he fully believes his own pain is what wins the misery game. The guy who only got fucking scars from the fire (I'm not saying that losing his mom isn't a big deal but I still believe Fizzarolli wins the misery game since that's how Blitzo wants to play)

And like I said, even if Blitzo was actually genuine when he first gave jobs to Millie and Moxxie, Blitzo sure couldn't give a fuck that he negatively affecting their futures in this episode thanks to caring only about satisfying himself and throwing a pity party for himself. Blitzo can't even give 'unconditional' support without attaching conditions to it; he legitimately thinks a coupon is needed to leave Millie and Moxxie the fuck alone because he apparently thinks that caring about their boundaries isn't worth anything if there's nothing in it for him

So yeah, I do agree that Ghostfuckers is better than other episodes of this season. Then again, it feels like I'm given a whole batch of burnt cookies and the latest episode is just a cookie not as badly burnt as the other ones.

That's not really a good thing, if you're just not as bad as the others. It's just that Ghostfuckers is a cookie that tastes good when I ate it but then I'm discovering, to my dismay, a downright awful aftertaste

[totaldramafan-lauri]

Short Ghostf**kers first impressions

-I say this as a Moxxie fan.....it is cool to see Millie go on a job without him. I think it helps her character, and will silence more of her haters. I've always said this about Millie - she's not flat, she just needs more focus episodes. Here's another one. Thank goooooood.

-Millie and Blitzo's backstory is surprisingly heartwarming? Here I thought that it'd just end at "I like your spunk", but the fact that he taught her to be more than she thought she was capable of.....it's really sweet. I never knew that about Millie, that she used to think so lowly of herself, but seeing how imps tend to be treated outside of Wrath, it makes SENSE, and.....It really goes to show how I.M.P being an imp-run business in Pride is so unusual! The fact that Millie met Moxxie through Blitzo is extra sweet. Aaaaaand, admittedly, it does also explain more why he tends to, uh.....n-not take their romance very well. He met them before they hooked up. Then they hooked up...while working for him.....Yyyyyyeah, knowing Blitzo, he probably had some feelings about that....

-The fact that Moxxie fell first and probably simped for a while is adorable, and it's just another way I relate to him. XD We both love powerful women

-F for the "Millie was Loona's babysitter" headcanons, tho.

-Now we have the full "first meeting with Blitzo" flashback collection! Yaaaayyyy! Gotta catch 'em all!

-Ghosts being really "infestor demons" is....interesting worldbuilding? But....why are they so much more powerful? All the powers this guy had are CRAZY. Are they only able to be that powerful on Earth? Are they another kind of demon who can freely go to Earth? So many questions.....

-I know it was only played for laughs, but what Blitzo did with M&M's money really bothered me and I hope he fixes that, cuz....yeah, no. Thankfully, he makes up for that in the same scene where he flat-out admits that he and Stolas were never really......dating. He's not in denial about things, which is good.

-That scene with Tilla huuuuurt! Why is THAT how we first see her face!? Uggggghhhhh!!

-I WOULD be annoyed at Blitzo in the first half of the episode, but wanting to go out and have fun after what he's been through....I-I mean, it's understandable, right? I don't think either he or Millie are at fault here. Good conflict.

-I like Millie's role as the "straight woman" of I.M.P as the one who's got her crap together and doesn't have any trauma, but adding this new layer of "grew up thinking she wouldn't amount to much" is a pretty good way of giving her another dimension. Again, I already liked her before. XD

-Millie having trust in Blitzo and not believing the infestor's (don't remember his name) words, then punching him saying "Blitzo can take this" is freaking AWESOME, she's so cool

-Heck yeah with Blitzo implying he's done stalking M&M, and heck yeah to him learning the importance of platonic friendships!! Now Stolas has to learn the same thing.....Stolas has never had the CHANCE to have real friends....Having friends to talk to can really help you, and he's been denied that cuz of his lifestyle, which is why he comes across as unintentionally insensitive sometimes and why he hates himself and uggghhhh, hug the bird, hug the bird but also knock a lil bit of sense into him first cuz both sides need it but HUG THE BIRD

-Didn't really laugh all that much. The humor in this episode was too over-the-top and most of it was just one joke (wanting to be screwed by a ghost) that I didn't really find that funny. I DID, however, laugh at the Scooby Doo door chase parody. XD

-Oh, and the songs were.....there, I guess

-Overall, a good and VERY NEEDED episode, 8/10, Apology Tour was better tho

[misdreavusmishap]

HOW TO COMFORT TELL TRAINER TO STOP CRYING SO THAT MY SPEAKERS AND CHIP STOP RINGING LIKE A MOTHERF!?KER

GOOD WAYS TO LIE ABOUT A HUMAN BEING OKAY

ROTOM CALMING VIDEOS

CALM SOUND VIDEOS FOR GHOST TYPES???

GOOD F!?K MAKE THIS LOSER SHUT UP GOOMYGLE

[piffany666]

GBA characters as John malany quotes:

•Kalomos - you ever seen a ghost?!

•Water elemental (the head) - cos I was over on the bench

•Earth elemental (the head) - cos I was over on the bench

•Fire elemental (the head) - I was sitting over on the bench

•Air elemental (the head) - I WAS OVER ON THE BENCH

•Hades/tyr - hello I'm tyr I'm your father

•albus - but sometimes he would be gay

• buttons - you ever been to the god damn zoo?

• Albus (again) - I used to smoke craaak

• Odin - what's yesterday?

• makkaro (and Frank) - shut up! your all gonna die! ✨street smarts ✨

• yargwin - now I've thrown him of his rhythm

• GBA talking about patrion - GIVE US SOME MONEY

• Albus (yet again) - stay down on the ground! Stay down on the ground you mother f*ker!

• yargwin - do my friends hate me? Or do I just need to go to sleep?

• the bubblegum prince - but why don't we just tell our relatives that I'm a 4 year old boy?

• makkaro - hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you?

• star captin forks - I am now gross

• kalomos - I'm putting wires into a bord filled with holes to move the voices around

I'll add to this later but it's late and no one asked for this so I'm going to bed

[lmanburg-letter-service]

(tag as kin please! i'd also go ahead and tag c!Dream and Punz neg. cause Hoo Boy)

Dream,

well well, never thought i'd be writing you of all people a letter, but maybe i'll write Ghost and Toms one, too. just need to get some stuff outta my system with you.

and you know me, i sure am one blunt motherf**ker, and i like to get to the point.

so just to make sure you're listening:

you lying snake. "just trying to help Tommie" MY A**. f**k you.

they trusted you. they looked up to you as an older brother at one point. but you took that trust and f**king shattered it in Exile. for f**ks sake, you framed it for so much s**t!

and don't even get me started on Ghost. was the only reason you let him come with you because you knew he wouldn't remember what happened? can you imagine how f**king terrified i was when i went looking for it in the tundra and found him half dead in the snow? you even took one of his lives in the Prison! f**k you.

and Punz. that lying, backstabbing motherf**ker. we thought we could trust him. we thought that they cared.

and yet who do i find accompanying you in Snowchester? who brought you back after me and Tubs stuck a sword through you?

who decided to help you and Purpled do that horrible s**t to Slime?

anyway, to wrap this all up, i want you to remember something, and i want you to remember it well.

the only reason you and that f**king backstabber are even still alive right now is because Toms decided to have pity on you both again after a lot of us got done kicking your a**es. we kept you both alive so long as you left the server never to return.

and if you Do come back, well...let's put it this way:

i might not be there. Ghost might not be there. heck, Wilbur and the Bench Bois might not be there.

but Techno, Niki, Jack, and Fundy sure as f**k are. and i'm almost 100% sure that they still want you dead.

May You Go F**k Yourself,

- Friend 🐏🔪

[Letter Sent!]

[daandyli0n]

alright! so these are kinda based around how i remember their first days going:

Puffy - shipwrecked on the beach and wandered around for a bit while talking to her chat (which i hc to be various different ghost parrots and fish. because Pirate). she gets stalked by Dream (and later Punz joins in on this), but she tries to laugh it off by joking about him "following [her] around like a duckling," but her Chat is. Incredibly Concerned. she gets to the main area of the server and met some people though, so she managed to get to safety. :] it Did still creep her out, though (understandable).

(slight side tangent: Chats, at least in TD, function like omnipresent beings that practically watch a Player's every move, and can sometimes bless Players with good fortune. some people's chats are visible to everyone while others are only visible to their particular Player. members of a Chat can move between the Chats of different Players! just some fun worldbuilding for you :])

Ranboo - he got into the server after being invited. they ran into Dream (who i feel i should mention is an enderman in TD), who shot them with a crossbow. this took their first canon life. upon respawning, Ranboo would make a run for the Church, which was where the Holy Lands were. while not being a very devout believer in Church Prime, Ranboo does know that one big rule about Holy Lands is that no murder can occur there, so they would be safe if they entered. upon making it to the Holy Lands, Dream and Ranboo began yelling at each other in Ender: Ranboo was yelling different variations of "What the f**k is your problem??" and "What the f**k do you want from me?" and Dream was trying to coax him out (which didn't work, obviously). eventually, Clementine* showed up and kinda dragged Ran over to New L'manberg, unknowingly saving them from Some Really Bad S**t. Ran and Dream have always pretty much hated each other since then. yes, even in the enderwalk stuff; Ranboo wants that f**ker dead.

so yeah! Puffy and Ran had. A Time

(* - yeah. transfem c!Tommy/Clem my beloved <3)

Wren would you like to hear about Puffy and Ranboo's entrances to the server in Trampled Dandelions?

long story short: td!Dream and Punz decided to try and yoink New Members to use for the revival experiments before they officially decided to kidnap Vikk and Lazar. they failed, but it did end in Puffy distrusting those two and Ran losing their first canon life.

Ooh I'd love to hear more!

[daandyli0n]

dsmp oc incorrect quotes pt. 2: electric boogaloo

@sunviolet77​ if you wanna see this

alright here’s even more incorrect quotes!!

~~~~~~~~

marsh: I actually betrayed you down in that bunker and I want you to be cut out of my life entirely.

dream, about to give marsh some pretty bad paranoia: And I took that personally.

~~~~~~~~~

(wilt coming out to cassia in a nutshell)

cassia: So you’re non biney? Like. You don’t have any binery??

wilt: Yeah, sure.

cassia, very happy, tail wagging: That’s so poggers

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(context: wilt and schlatt got into a drinking competition together during manberg. wilt, by some miracle, won, but not by much. cassia was still in the room when this happened, as was the entire manberg cabinet)

wilt, very drunk: *sigh* I miss my sister, Quackity. I miss her a lot.

everyone in the room, including cassia: *burst out laughing*

wilt, while cassia is trying to drag them back home out of embarrassment: I’ll be back-

~~~~~~~~~~~

(okay, look, this one was funny to me-)

wilt: I’ve come to make an announcement- Dreamwastaken is a b***h a** motherf**ker. He traumatized my f**king boyfriend. That’s right: he took his green teletubby manipulation out, and Traumatized My F**king Boyfriend, and he said that Marsh’s location was “his business” and I said “no, it isn’t.” So I’m making a callout post on my Twitter.com: Dreamwastaken, you don’t actually care for my boyfriend, your care is the size of this walnut except way smaller. And guess what?! Here’s what my care for Marsh looks like: *sound effect* That’s right baby: all genuine, no manipulation, no threats- it looks like world’s healthiest relationship! HE TRAUMATIZED MY BOYFRIEND, SO GUESS WHAT?! I’M GONNA MURDER HIM! THAT’S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET: MY AXE TO YOUR SKULL! Except I’m not going to attack you directly, I’m gonna go higher. I’M ATTACKING YOUR ASSOCIATES! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, WASTAKEN?! I’M GONNA MURDER YOUR ACCOMPLICES, YOU IDIOT! YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE MY AXE OF NETHERITE DESCENDS ON YOU ALL. NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT, BEFORE I MURDER YOU TOO.

(the accomplices in question are foolish and punz. this happens sometime after The Attack. also imagine this with people laughing in the background)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

avi: *actually starts seeing ghost!hawk for the first time*

avi: 🎵What kind of F * * K E R Y is this??🎵

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

iris: (fighting someone, generally being a bada**)

hawk, awestruck: wrow (that one vine)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

that’s all i’ve got for now!

[jadewing-realms]

zevwarden week - day 4

Fandom: Dragon Age: Origins

Title: ZevWarden Week, Day 4 - AU

Pairing: Zevran x male!Warden; Zevran Arainai x Salem Surana

Word Count: 2,996

There are always moments when life doesn’t go as planned. Zevran knows this well, after living in the inner city for so long. He knows how it works, gets the momentary nature of good things and the ever-pervasive threat of just one wrong thing sending everything into a spiral.

Falling through the earth on a doorstep where he was supposed to be delivering drugs was certainly not a turn he would’ve ever expected, though. 

TW: mention of death via OD

_______________

It was common knowledge to most people Zevran knew back in his neighborhood - downtown Antiva City, Nevada - that he, Rinna and Taliesen were always up to some sort of trouble or another. Watched too many bad films, played too many violent video games, were too lazy to work, whatever the baby boomers liked to say. 

It came as a surprise to no one when they left. Moved up town, found a pitiful little apartment for rent. All of them had managed to land a... decently comfortable job, making questionable delivery runs for questionable people, which paid enough to actually afford that rent and food. 

They’d started with local deliveries, being just a couple of college greenhorns who had no idea what they were doing. Few resources, fewer friends, and one bike to share between the three of them. 

Probably not the wisest start, Zevran would admit now. But it had been fun, nonetheless. And money was money. 

Their progress from there was slow - no leaps and bounds, but steady improvement. Rinna made contacts. Taliesen found the best routes between drop points. Zevran got very good at haggling. They were a far cry from well-oiled machine, but they worked well together. They even managed to get their hands on a beater, so they could deliver further. Their supervisors were impressed, and things were looking up.

At least, until it became clear Rinna was palming goods for herself. 

Before the higher-ups could even decide what to do about her, Zevran found her dead-eyed on the couch, staring at the ceiling, empty needle on the coffee table.

Making deliveries after that made Zevran’s stomach churn. But without a third person splitting rent, and their suppliers dubious that Rinna had been working alone and thus holding her debt to he and Taliesen after her funeral, they needed the money. 

Which is how they ended up driving out to the middle of the desert together at the a**crack of dusk, stash in the trunk and GPS open to some mobile home out in the sticks.

Sunk in the passenger seat, Zevran’s gaze darted from the darkening landscape and rough back road outside to the glow of the phone in his hand. “I swear, Taliesen, if your ‘navigator’s nose’ has gotten us lost again--”

“We’re not lost, calm down,” Taliesen replied, though his white-knuckled grip on the wheel betrayed his confidence. Perhaps, however, that was due to the potholes and not whatever awaited them ahead. “I know where we are.”

“Perfect. Where might that be?”

“Almost there.”

Zevran snorted, rolling his eyes. “Ah, yes. Just like we were ten minutes ago.”

“So I underestimated the distance and we’ll be a little late. The old f**ker’s getting his stuff and he should be grateful for that.”

“If we get murdered out here, I’m finding you in the afterlife and kicking your a**.”

“Scared of an old man, Arainai?” Taliesen snickered.

To which Zevran faked a loud laugh. “There are scarier things in the middle of nowhere than old men, but even they can be plenty dangerous if they’re high and waving a shotgun. I’d rather die in a more significant manner, so maybe you should have the honor of going first tonight.”

“Ha! Scarier, like ghosts?”

“Like windy goats.”

“Windy what??”

“I’m actually smart enough not to say its real name. I don’t much like the idea of getting its attention.”

Clicking his tongue, Taliesen shook his head, even as he leaned forward, something through the windshield attracting his attention and causing him to slow the car. “Snowflake...”

“It’s called a sense of self-preservation.”

“Here we are,” Taliesen said. The car rolled to a halt, just off to the side of the narrow road, which at this point, was just the implication of two tire tracks disappearing into darkened underbrush ahead.

Off to their left, at the edge of a pitiful little circular driveway, was what looked like an old trailer home that had sat there for who knew how long. In the high-beams, what looked like it was once yellow siding had nearly flaked bare, leaving grey exposed wood beneath. The two little windows they could see on this side were dark. A sad excuse for a porch led up to the door on the side, crooked and sagging, like it could collapse at any moment. 

Around the house, there was no excuse for a yard of any kind aside from a lopsided shed peeking out of the back. It was like the desert started and ended right at the house’s rickety foundation, like aside from its presence, this area was and always had been simply open wilderness. 

“I hate it already,” Taliesen shuddered. With a flick of his wrist, he shut off the car, leaving the lights on. “All right. Let’s do this.”

They took a moment to gather their things - Taliesen grabbed the pistol from the glove compartment and tucked it into his waistband, clearly unsettled now, while Zevran reached over and plucked the empty duffle from the back for the exchange. They stepped out, into the brush, and Taliesen met him on his side of the car.

“Look at the size of this place,” Zev glanced around. “Open. No cover in sight. You should have demanded to meet somewhere less remote, like a uh... an abandoned gas station. You know, someplace we’re less likely to be kidnapped.”

“Oh, don’t start,” Taliesen groaned. “This is more secure, and that’s because it’s remote. Now you go knock, I’ll get the trunk.”

Zevran didn’t bother hiding the smirk that stretched his lips. “Oh? Are we scared now, Taliesen?”

“Shut up and move!” Taliesen made like he was about to actually kick Zevran in the behind, which made the latter scurry away, snickering to himself as he did.

“You take very little to spook, my friend! It is the highlight of our trips.”

With that, Zevran sauntered up the drive, aiming for the side door. He had hoped that as he grew closer, he might be able to see a light on inside, an indication that someone was indeed waiting for them. He wasn’t sure which was worse - the idea that someone was, or the idea that someone wasn’t. Both were bad, for entirely different reasons. 

The windows were dark, even when he stood right beside the house.

Still, he figured he might as well try the door. He made his way up the lopsided steps, careful as he felt them bow beneath each step, felt the entire structure of the porch groan. 

“Do not drop me, I am fragile,” he told the stairs, before stepping off in front of the door at last.

“Hellooo~! Anybody home? I hope we are not intruding.” They certainly shouldn’t be; this person was supposed to be expecting them. He listens to the wind in response, the sounds of Taliesen moving about back by the car. “Pizza delivery! We’re here with your order.”

Not a sound, not a stir. Hell, there weren’t even crickets singing in the dark. The property was eerily quiet.

“Taliesen,” Zev called across the drive. “I don’t think anyone’s home.”

“Go in!” was the immediate answer. “Something might’ve happened. We need this check, Zevran, you and I both know that.”

Zevran sighed. “...All right, all right, I’ll-”

There was a loud cracking sound. The floor dropped out from under him. In a desperate move to brace himself, his hand flew to the railing, but that crumbled under his weight as the entire porch dislodged from the building and collapsed, taking him with it. On instinct, he raised his arms, as if to catch himself on ground he could see incoming, but his hands met nothing. He fell through.

Blurred colors surrounded him, his stomach leapt to his throat. He felt like he was falling, thousands of feet, and yet, he could hear nothing. Not a sound. No wind in his ears, not even his own breathing. Or screaming - he definitely screamed. 

Just as suddenly, he impacted floor, felt it jar his bones. His ears rung. His eyes slipped shut.

_______________

Despite incredibly heavy eyelids, Zevran slowly managed to get them open. He blinked, half his vision engulfed by a grey carpeted floor, and his phone a few feet ahead. He jumped, lifted his face from the floor, pushed his body up so he could look around.

He was met by nothing but a series of sickly yellow walls. No windows. No doors. Just walls. And hideous fluorescent lights in the ceiling, buzzing a subtle ambience that was the only thing to break the silence.

“What...?” The word felt wrong when it came out, unnatural in the stillness. Like he was disturbing something. He was immediately struck with the feeling that something had begun to watch him and with jumpy reflex, he glanced over his shoulder. 

Just another wall. No sign of that door, or the porch, or the driveway or Taliesen.

Where was he?

He scrambled for his phone, thoughts immediately going to the idea of calling somebody, calling Taliesen, telling him he was trapped. When he picked up the phone, it was asleep. With a swipe and quick print recognition, he had it open. Plenty of battery... but no signal.

“Oookay...” he sighed out, raising his gaze to his surroundings again. The space was so very... empty. Stiflingly so. He felt alien just standing there. There were no other signs that this place was even meant to be inhabited, much less was. Walking a few steps from his current place, enough to see around the first of the yellow corners in sight, yielded much of the same. 

Empty yellow rooms. Interconnected with equally empty yellow hallways. 

What had happened? He remembered where he’d been, why he’d been there. He remembered the porch collapsing. Had he hit his head? Was he dreaming, unconscious on the ground, or in a hospital somewhere?

“Hello? Is anyone here?” 

He had to laugh at his own question. Here? Where even was ‘here’? If someone was ‘here’, would he want to know?

Something told him the answer was no.

He wasn’t sure how long he wandered. Minutes. Hours. He meandered through the strange space, searching for something, anything. A sign. A change. Around each corner, he rounded hoping to find that door. Or a door, just a regular door would have been fine. But continually, there was just more and more of the same - nothing.

At one point, for reasons just beyond him - perhaps to feel less alone - he took out his phone and turned on the camera, just to record his surroundings. He wasn’t entirely sure this was a real place, but if it was, he’d be d**ned if he didn’t get evidence of it.

Turning another corner, Zevran almost stumbled over something, and a curse flew from his lips. Staggering to right himself, almost faceplanting, he froze himself in place - somehow, even the frenetic movement had felt too loud. His heartbeat was already pounding in his chest, and he took a deep breath to still it. He looked down.

Just behind him, he found what he’d tripped on - a backpack. Rugged, dusty, moldy, and a little tattered, like perhaps some small animals from who knew where had tried to dig into it with no luck, but it was undeniably a backpack. And a fairly modern design, too. Someone had been here not too long ago.

“Well, that’s not ominous at all,” he breathed, swiveling his head back and forth on instinct, as if he might catch sight of what remains of the unfortunate soul. 

At that moment, he swore he glimpsed something from the corner of his eye. A shape, a shadow. Somebody. All the hair on his body stood on end, since the figure seemed to disappear when he turned toward it, but it was a chance. A chance he wasn’t alone. Which was better than the alternative.

So he stepped toward it, calling out, “Hey! I see you!” Each step, however, his trepidation increased. He wasn’t even sure why; there was no clear sign of danger. But his body hated the fact that he was moving toward that corner where the shadow had been. His heart beat louder, his breath faster, and everything in him screamed to turn around. But he didn’t. 

It was almost disappointing when he turned the corner to find just another hallway. Empty. No person in sight. 

Almost. Because it was also terrifying. 

He’d seen someone, he knew he had. So where had they gone?

The hallway he found himself looked just like the rest, except one end went on ahead into more yellow rooms, more hallways, and the other... vanished into pitch blackness. The lights must have gone out that way. He couldn’t see more than five feet into it. 

“I know I saw you,” he spoke into the silence, taking a moment to catch his breath and try to get his heart to slow down. “Somebody’s here. I’m not seeing things. I would know.”

A clear bluff. But that shadow didn’t have to know that.

His answer was a moan that made shivers wrack his spine. Without thought, his feet moved, away from the sound, nearly tripping over laces in his haste. Away from the blackness he stumbled, toward the corner, as in his peripheral, he glimpsed what looked like unnaturally long, thin black limbs, coiling fingers, reaching into the light.

Hell no was he sticking around to find out what it was. 

Around the corner he went and, when faced with an impossibly long stretch of hallway with no corners, he bolted into a sprint. 

“This cannot be happening,” he muttered to himself under his harried breath, eyes darting for the nearest sign of another turn. He was far too vulnerable on this open stretch. “Hell no, this sort of thing is not real, not supposed to be, what the hell is this?? I’m dreaming. That’s it, that’s all, just a dream!”

He could hear it. The something. Steps behind him, shuffling, scraping. Heavy breathing, little moans, like a person, pitched down and slowed. It made his stomach do flips, and he ran faster, unable to keep himself from mumbling ‘no, no, no!’ as he went.

At long last, he came to a corner and, without pause, rounded it at high speed.

A hand caught his arm.

His scream was only cut short due to his body being shoved against the wall and that same hand flying up to cover his mouth. Zevran found his gaze locked with a pair of silver-grey eyes. Tired eyes, but young. Perhaps his age. 

He stared up at a pale but handsome face that he perhaps could have appreciated more if his heart wasn’t trying to vacate his chest.

A tapered finger from a second hand raised to press against chapped pursed lips in a silent shushing motion, to which Zevran nodded. This guy looked human, and that was good enough for him. Even if he was dressed like a scene kid from the early 2000s.

Without another word, the guy grabbed Zevran by the hand and took off at a jog - a startlingly soundless jog. Each step was careful, like he’d learned how to run without making noise. Zevran wasn’t so skilled. He definitely made noise, and certainly not enough to block out the sounds of pursuit from back behind the last turn. 

But the man led with purpose, intent. Like he knew where they were going. With each determined corner, Zev felt more and more relief. He wasn’t alone. And he’d found someone who, at least presumably, had some idea as to what was going on.

When they rounded a final turn and came upon a broad wall with a doorway in it, his heart leapt. An elevator. Odd, sure, but it was something, and a something that this stranger seemed to be leading them straight toward.

Without a word, the guy hauled Zev inside, smashed a four-digit code into a small pad on the wall, and then stepped in after him. It was a small elevator, just barely enough room for the two of them, and lacking a detail that immediately had Zevran’s hair raising again.

No buttons. No indication of floors whatsoever. Not a one. It was just a small, blank little space.

The doors shut, making no sound, not like real elevators whose doors chafed and rattled. When they had closed, though, Zevran felt his guard relax. Just a little.

“I think I might just owe you my life,” he managed to breathe, leaning back against the elevator wall. “What was that? What is this??”

In response, the man said “Wretch,” and held out a slender, pasty hand. “Salem.”

“Sorry?”

“That was a wretch. I’m Salem.”

“Oh.” Eyebrows raising, Zev shrugged and shook the proffered hand. It was softer to touch than he expected. “Uh, Zevran. Zev.”

To that, the man called Salem let his mouth twist in something between a morbid smile and a wicked smirk and oh, that was a nice look. Maybe it was just the near-death experience. Maybe it was the adrenaline of the whole experience. Or maybe Zev was already incredibly lonely after being in this place what felt like ages. 

But dang, this man was pretty.

“Well, Zev,” Salem said with that rueful grin, “good to meet you. Welcome to the Backrooms.”

[djarinbarnes]

Don’t tell Steve

Author: only Dina.

Word Count: 3039

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x female reader

Warnings: oral sex (both female and male receiving), smut, fluff

A/N: heart eyes, mother f**ker

You'd spent most of the day at the beach. You'd soaked up the sun, felt the water against your skin on the private beach belonging to the beautiful beach house you'd rented for the weekend. The beach house you'd rented with the boys was a part of your annual summer getaway, it was luxurious, more luxurious than the year before. You'd shown up earlier than your two best friends, wanting to get comfortable and know all the good spots before they arrived. The grand beach house had everything you all needed and more, you didn't even know why you all had agreed on such a big place to begin with.

The large beach house towered in front of you as you stepped out of you convertible, pushing the sunglasses into your hair, shutting the car door behind you. You gazed upon the beautiful white house, three stories blocking the sun from your view. You smiled as you grabbed your bag from the backseat, not bothering to close the roof, considering it was 100 degrees, in the middle of the summer. You went through the whole place, throwing your bag on the bed in the room with the view over the private beach, and you sighed, picking up your phone.

                                                       d-bags ♡

you (2:16 pm)

when are you guys arriving? 🥺☹️

you (2:17pm)

I know I'm a little early, but rather that than being late!😁

steev (2:20pm)

I'm caught up with something that needs to be taken care of before I can go.🙄 I'm sorry.☹️ I'll see if I can make it by tomorrow. 😩

steev (2:21pm)

☹️🧨💣🚽💩💩

buck (2:22pm)

typical you steve!👅

 you (2:24pm)

i miss you guys. it's been forever. 💗

buck (2:28pm)

getting in the car now. be there in an hour. 🏎💨

you (2:30pm)

it's boring here without you 😞

buck (2:30pm)

see you soon 😉

You sighed as you tossed your phone on the bed. You grabbed you bikini out of your bag, stripping down to your Eve costume. You slipped on the bright red set you'd bought for the occasion, seeing as you'd being wearing the same bikini for the past three years. You tip-toed out of the house, walking across the warm tiles beside the swimming pool until you pushed your toes into the sand with a sigh. You'd been looking forward to this vacation for the last month, seeing your two best friends again after months of being apart. They'd both been caught up with work, and with Bucky's newly acquired promotion, the three of you were more than ready to celebrate in each other's company.

The fresh breeze that entered your nostrils as you walked closer to the waves tumbling softly onto the shore reminded you of when you were younger. The three of you would always go to the beach when you needed each other; a simple text from either of you gathered all three of you as quickly as possible. Your two best friends had helped you over many steep mountains, the path rocky and tricky, but somehow you'd always climbed it and succeeded. Likewise for the boys. You were always there for each other.

Your feet were slowly engulfed by a wave, you bit your lip at the coldness of the ocean as you stepped further out into the blue oblivion. There was no one in sight, and the only sound around you was the soft sound of waves crashing and breaking against each other. After a few, long minutes, you decided on walking back to the beach house, but stopped just before the tiles started, throwing yourself on one of the lounging chairs seated snugly in the sand. You dozed off slightly, awakening sometime later by a car horn honking somewhere on the other side of the beach house. You quickly rose to your feet, smiling at the thought of company.

You hurried into the house, looking around for any sign of the car-horn-honking guest. The clock read 3:41pm, so it had to be Bucky. Suddenly, a pair of warm muscular arms snuck around your waist, and you yelped, a soft laugh emitting from the person behind you.

"Hey Y/N" the soft voice belonging to Bucky flowed into your ears. You squealed and turned around, hugging the man before you tightly. "I guess you really did miss me, huh?" you nodded into his chest, smiling widely. "Hey, look... I wanted to say that I'm sorry about what happened. I wish I could've been there. A break up is never fun." He said before you pulled out of his grasp.

"It's okay. I managed. You were busy with your new promotion and all." You smiled and walked into the kitchen, finding the bar after opening a few cabinets. You pulled out a bottle of vodka, found the orange juice in the fridge, grabbing two glasses from one of the upper cabinets. You mixed the two beverages stronger than intended, and Bucky watched you with wide eyes and a smirk. "To congratulate you on your new promotion" You said as you handed him one of the glasses. "Cheers!" He smiled and you clinked glasses, both of you taking a big gulp, maintaining eye contact. You winced as the liquid ran down your throat, and Bucky laughed at your reaction. "Put on your fucking trunks. We're lounging by the pool!" You said as you turned around, walking out onto the patio, drink in hand. You sat on the edge of the pool, slipping your legs into the lukewarm water, heated by the sun.

He joined you a few minutes later, white trunks low on his hips, his muscular chest more prominently trained than last year. You literally fucked him with your eyes behind the dark glass of your sunglasses, praying he wouldn't notice. He sat down at the other side of the corner, his sunglasses resting comfortably on the bridge of his nose, as he sipped his drink slowly. "Anything you wanna do today? Should we go somewhere?" He asked as he sat his drink down on the edge of the pool.

"Sure, sounds lovely. Theres this really beautiful place just a few yards down to the left here." you pointed to the beach and he smiled. "I checked it out earlier. It's just the beach at the bottom of that cliff over there." You turned your body slightly, pointing at the tall formation of rock growing tall a few miles away. "It's amazing and secluded. I haven't seen anyone here yet." You said as you sipped more of your drink, slowly getting used to a prominent taste of vodka that lingered.

He smiled as he stood up, grabbing your hand and pulling you into his chest. You giggled as you sprinted towards the beach, Bucky hot on your tail as he followed you. The soft sand slowly turned to sand mixed with stone the further you got from the beach house, and you slowed down, not wanting to hurt yourself. Bucky smiled as he caught up to you, capturing you with his arms from behind. "Gotcha" he whispered in your ear, sending goosebumps down your spine. You'd always been comfortable around Bucky, you'd always been close, not bothering to be careful when touching each other. It'd always been friendly between the two of you, but many thought you were dating because you were so comfortable around each other.

You leaned your head back into his shoulder, relaxing into his arms, sighing deeply. His arms traced up your arms, his fingers leaving a trail of goosebumps on your skin. You sucked in a breath as his lips gently ghosted over your shoulder, slowly peppering soft kisses, testing the waters. You granted him more space, leaning your head to the side, inviting him closer. His light peppering turned into sloppy kisses up your throat, along your jawline as he slid his hands up your body to turn your head, looking you in the eyes before kissing your lips gently.

You'd be lying to yourself if you told yourself you hadn't thought of this many times over the years, but the time was just never right. Sure you'd kissed before in a drunken haze to get a creep off your tail at some shady bar downtown years ago, but this was happening when you were both (slightly) sober. You turned to face him, his hands running down your body to rest on your ass carefully, still being thoughtful not to cross any of your boundaries. Your lips found his as your hands slid up his body to grasp at the nape of his neck, urging him to keep on going.

He slowly undid the knot that held the bikini securely around your torso, pulling away from you to lift the garment over your head. You smiled as he watched his hand travel up the side of your body, softly caressing the sensitive skin on the underside of your breast. "You're so beautiful. I've wanted this for so many years... You're just so out of my league" he sighed as his hand grasped your breast firmly, biting his lip as you moaned lightly.

"You're not the only one..." You smiled as you backed him up against a huge rock, pushing him down to sit on it. You decided than now was finally the time to fulfill your dream about sucking his cock, the cock you'd longed for, for as long as you can remember. You'd seen him naked many times, once completely erect when you'd walked in on him getting himself off a few years back. He'd taken it with a smile, and there'd been nothing weird between you afterwards. Your hands found the waistband of his trunks, pulling them toward you slightly to help his stiff member loose from the tight restraints. He lifted his hips off the rock as you pulled the trunks down, biting your lip seductively at him, then grabbing his cock in your hand, giving it a few strokes. He bit his lip as he pushed the trunks off his legs, grabbing your neck, pulling you in for a heated kiss. His tongue slid against yours and you moaned, his cock twitched in your hand and he bit onto your lower lip, dragging it slightly. You pulled your lip from his teeth and left open-mouthed kisses down his body.

You fell to your knees and your lips wrapped around the head of his cock, his hands pushed through your hair and held it back as you sucked the thickness of his girth into your mouth. You watched as his eyes fell closed, a deep groan falling past his lips, encouraging you to bop your head at as faster pace. You grabbed what you couldn't fit in your mouth, letting your spit run in between your fingers and down the side of his cock, making it easier for your hand to slip up and down. "Fuck that feels so good," he groaned as his hands fisted your hair tightly, making you moan around him. The muscles in his legs tensed as you kept his cock engulfed in your mouth, taking him deeper, wanting to make him cum. The head of his cock hit the back of your throat and you fought back the tears welling up in your eyes as he let out a strangled moan, releasing his warm cum down your throat. You swallowed everything he had to give, pulling off him with a slight pop, biting your lip sweetly at him.

"Fucking hell Y/N, if I knew you'd treat me that well, I'd chosen to seduce you earlier." He smirked as he pulled the trunks up his legs, tucking himself back in, helping you put on your bikini top. "Let's head back to the beach house and I'll.. treat you real nice as well." He offered as his hands grasped your ass tightly, pulling you into his body, his lips finding yours in a desperate kiss. He groaned into your mouth as he tasted himself on your tongue, your hands running through his hair. You nodded as you stepped back, grabbing his hand, pulling him back towards the beach house.

When you returned, he threw you on one of the lounge sofas, pushing the trunks off himself yet again before stripping you of your bikini as you giggled underneath the soft kisses of his lips. His mouth traveled down your body, kissing the inside of your thighs, goosebumps sneaking their way across your skin. His mouth finally found your clit and you let out a long moan, your arousal finally getting the attention it was so desperately longing for. Bucky's tongue worked wonders against your bundle of nerves, he was exploring every part of your vulva like no one ever had done before. He ate you out for what felt like an eternity, since he would tease you by bringing you close to the edge and then completely stopping before picking back up when you'd come down slightly, completely ignoring your whimpers and complaints.

"Fuck me, Bucky, please, I need you so badly." You moaned as your hands gripped his hair tightly, trying to pull him up your body. He finally gave in to your begs, kissing his way up your stomach, latching his mouth onto your right nipple. You moaned at the sensation, biting your lip harshly and letting out a gasp as the head of his cock pushed into you. He went slow, letting you adjust to his size. He was long and thick, your heat engulfing him snugly and he let out a moan. His lips found yours as he held himself over you, working his cock into you further and further with each thrust, feeling your arousal wetting his cock to grant him easier access to your pleasure.

Your lips moved against each other hotly, your moans mixing as they left your mouths, his thrusts increasing in force and speed, your hands sliding up his sides to grasp the hairs at the back of his neck tightly. Your tongues slid against one another and Bucky pulled back slightly, looking down to where your bodies met so perfectly. He bit his lip as he watched his cock sliding in and out of your tight core and you moaned at the sigh of him. You lifted your legs higher against your chest, the new found angle making his cock hit deeper inside you, your moans increasing in volume as he thrusted into you harder.

Bucky rolled you both over, seating you on top of him, sliding into you deeper and grinding his hips against yours harshly, his cock buried to the hilt. His hands gripped your hips tightly, his pubic bone grinding against your bundle of nerves harshly and you threw your head back and let out a throaty moan. "Fuck, Bucky, I'm so fucking close." You moaned and he sped up his trusts, biting down on his lip, watching you writhe on top him.

"Touch yourself for me, darling." He commanded seductively, biting down on his lip, dragging another moan from you. You slid your hand down his stomach, separating your fingers, sliding them down on both sides of your entrance, feeling Bucky's think cock sliding in and out of you. You moaned as you started rubbing circles on your clit, biting down on your lip as your orgasm approached quickly. His movements beneath you grew sloppier, you could feel his climax approaching as well, the groans emitting from his throat a clear indication of that. You shrieked as your orgasm washed over you, you walls clamping tightly around his cock as you kept grinding your hips against his. Bucky let out whispers of curses, shutting his eyes tightly as the euphoria washed over him, emptying his load into your welcoming heat.

You bit your lip as your eyes found his, his lips curving into a teethy grin. "That was... really something else." Bucky said, you responded with a giggle and let your hands travel down his arms, grabbing his hands in yours. He kissed the back of your hand and then let it fall, sliding his hand to your neck, his thumb caressing your cheek. You slipped off him, letting gravity take its toll on the liquids in and between your bodies. "So what happens now?" he said as you shrugged your shoulders and rose from his lap, wandering off to grab something to clean you both off. You found a few tissues and grabbed your phone before returning to Bucky's side, giggling as you looked at your lockscreen. You unlocked your phone and you showed Bucky the texts. He let out a laugh.

                                                      d-bags ♡

steev (3:16pm)

I just want this shit over by now

steev (3:18pm)

why did I choose a job like this?!😩

steev (3:19pm)

🥵🔪🔪

steev (3:26pm)

I'm gonna need some serious alcohol this weekend.🍻🍻🍻

steev (3:36pm)

I got a feeling y'all are ignoring me.

steev (3:42pm)

now I'm convinced you're ignoring me.

steev (3:52pm)

come on guys, entertain me!?🙄🙄

steev (4:01pm)

fucking hell 🧨🧨🧨

steev (4:12pm)

okay just ignore me. I'm sorry!!!!!

steev (4:13pm)

can't wait to see you two tomorrow.

steev (4:13pm)

☹️☹️☹️

"You know..." Bucky started. "I don't think we should tell Steve. You know he hates third-wheeling..." You bit your lip as his thumb stroked your hip. You gathered the mess on his stomach with the tissues while biting your lip, deep in thought. "... Hey? Love? Earth to Y/N?" you shook your head as Bucky finally broke through to you, he was waving his hand in front of your face and he laughed when you came out of the trance. "Dicked you down too good?" he smirked and you hit his shoulder softly. He smiled and leaned up to kiss your lips. You pulled him with you to the outdoor shower, turning on the water to clean both of your bodies. "So what about Steve? I don't think we should tell him just yet. I want to explore this, with you. Figure out what we could build together. Before we go around telling Steve, or anyone about us." You smiled and nodded.

"Don't tell Steve. Got it."

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Deerington’s Betrayal

Bit of a long one and more of a story than a quote but here goes. Some context, a few sessions back our human rouge (HM) killed off our tiefling bard (TB) on account of endangering his pet deer Deerington during a fight with some misc. woodland monsters. Now this being only three sessions into our campaign, I thought it would be a terrible waste of a good character to have him die on the spot, so TB and I plotted. I’d have the ghost take over the deer’s body and every so often he’d him roll to perform a random poltergeist-y thing to freak out the party. Long story short, TB’s ghost possessed Deerington for two MONTHS of sessions, no one even questioning why TB’s player hadn’t rolled up a new PC. After one particularly interesting incident with a cleric NPC it comes out that Deerington is possessed and HR, all but forgetting the PC he offed, is panicking, worried about the wellbeing of his deer. The scene plays out like this:

Cleric NPC: Well, I’m not sure what you want from me, there’s a ghost in this deer

HR: Can you get it out?!

CNPC: I can try

While this is all going on, I frantically text our absent bard to facetime us, as I really didn’t think he would’ve been revealed when he wasn’t here. I tell him the time has come and let HR know that he’ll be getting a call in a moment and to answer it. The second he looks at the caller id he goes mental.

HR, having started screeching before even answering the phone: NO YOU VILE HUMAN BEING GET OUT OF MY DEER

TB, via facetime and through fits of laughter: WASSUP F**KERS

The rest of the party is losing it, I can’t stop laughing, and our rouge has finally stopped computing and is laying on the floor crying in anguish for his pet deer.

[whenimgoodandready]

*SVTFOE Bloopers, Finale Season Part 3

•Gone Baby Gone

-(Setting:Teen Meteora and Mariposas cave.)

Star:(hesitantly slurps and gulps the skin flakes and garlic spider chow) “Y-Yummy”

Adult Marco:(eagerly drinks the soup) “Ahhh! Really takes me back. Though I always used to-“ (he stops and starts to sweat panting)

Star:(looks concerned for Adult Marco) “Are you okay? You look-“ (suddenly feels something) “Oh boy!” (starts to sweat and pant as well)

(Teen Meteora and Mariposa snicker)

Adult Marco:(standing up panicking) “What’s goin’ on!? My mouth is burning!” (screams and runs off-screen)

(Star screams and runs off-screen too. Teen Meteora and Mariposa try to contain their laughter)

Director Daron:(heard off-screen) “Uh, what’s going on over here? Can someone please tell me”

Staff Member:(heard off-screen) “Hang on, let me check”

(Teen Meteora and Mariposa can’t hold it much longer and burst out laughing. Adult Marco runs past the scene seemingly breathing fire while screaming flailing his arms in the air)

Staff Member:(heard off-screen) “Okay, we found the problem! Bryana (Teen Meteora) and Isabella (Teen Mariposa) secretly put Ghost Peppers in the soup for the scene”

Director Daron:(sighs) “Oh my God, girls not cool!”

(Teen Meteora falls back laughing and Teen Mariposa hunches over laughing holding onto her stomach and stomping her foot)

Star:(runs past the scene holding a water bottle) “CAN SOMEONE OPEN THIS THING!”

-(Behind the Scenes. Wyscan is sitting in a make-up chair half complete with his magical look with only his face not painted and wearing a bald cap for his wig. He’s speaking with the Make-Up Artist next to him surround by boxes of various colored paints and brushes)

Wyscan:(exasperated) “Oh my God! You would not believe the day I had getting over here! First, my limo got stuck in traffic, so I was 2 hours late for rehearsal” (the Make-Up Artist adjusts the chair to lounge back and Wyscan closes his eyes as he continues his venting. Little does he know, Teen Meteora and Mariposa quickly and very quietly cover the Make-Up Artists mouth and drag her away off-screen) “Then, I was attacked by those frogs that escaped from that new show, “Ann-phibia”, or whatever studio by some liberal going all, “Free the Frogs!” Ugh! I swear one of those slimy things crawled in my hair!” (cringes as Teen Meteora and Mariposa come back standing on either side of Wyscan snickering and picking up make-up tools) “Finally, those creepy twin Pony Head girls wouldn’t stop playing dumb country rap song, “Old Town Road”, during rehearsal and now that songs stuck in my head” (groans) “Anyways sorry about talking your ear off, I’ll just sit back, lay back and let you work your magic, okay hun”

(Teen Meteora and Mariposa simultaneously pretend to be the Make-Up Artist and go, “Mmhmm”, mockingly while giving one another devious looks. They get to work applying make-up on Wyscan super fast with pink mist and after they’re complete, the mist fades away and Teen Mariposa readjusts Wyscans sweat to make him sit up right as Teen Meteora holds up a hand mirror in front of him. Wyscan opens his eyes and gasps at seeing his prank make-up job. His face is powdered white with hot pink lipstick, lavender eyeshadow and three stickers on his face with a heart, a star and a rainbow plastered on it and his wig was a big curly orange afro. Teen Meteora and Mariposa laugh. Wyscan screams angrily and jumps off his seat)

Wyscan:(frustratedly) “You little brats! Wait til’ my agent hears about this!”

(Teen Meteora and Mariposa stop laughing and put their arms around Wyscan in-between them and Teen Mariposa pulls out her iPhone to take a pic of the three of ‘em as the two strike a pose. Wyscan groans and we see a flash and hear a click)

-Wyscan:(irritatedly) “Ugh, what’s taking so long over there?!”

Teen Mariposa:”I’ve changed my mind”

Wyscan:”I thought we had a deal!”

Wyscan’s Stomach:”And baby’s hungry!” (slurping)

Teen Mariposa:”You want the girl...you’ll” (tries to pull out her bo staff, but she fumbles with it around her hands and it falls to the ground making a loud clank sound as Teen Mariposa cringes. She stares down at the staff as the staff off-screen laugh. Wyscan laughs too and Teen Mariposa gets annoyed with him) “Shut up!”

-(The background fight music plays as Teen Mariposa starts to fight Wyscan with her staff. Wyscan blocks her attacks and pushes her backward with his sword. He quickly knocks her away and pins her to the ground. We hear a crack and Wyscan stops fighting to stand over Teen Mariposa looking confused. The background fight music dies out and Teen Mariposa sits up and picks up her bo staff which is now split almost in half and dangling on one side. She stares at it dangling before nervously chuckling. Wyscan laughs as well)

•Sad Teen Hotline

•Jannanigans

-Tom:(to Marco) “I mean, if you and your best friend, ended up being something else”

Marco:”What? Tom, the Blood Moon acres has been-“ (gets interrupted by a tennis ball being shot at his face knocking him down) “Ow!”

Tom:(gasps. Turns to where the ball came from) “What the f-“ (a tennis ball is shot at him and ends up in his mouth silencing him with him mumbling, dropping his arm full of tennis balls and losing his balance. Another tennis ball is shot at and knocks Tom down)

Director Daron:(heard off-screen) “Who’s using the tennis ball shooting machine!?”

(the camera pans to see Janna using it and shooting tennis balls around the set. We hearing glass shattering, people screaming and see objects falling down)

Janna:(stops shooting and calls out) “Hey, Pony Head! You lied! This thing does work!” (continues shooting tennis balls around and chuckles evilly as more things break and peoples screaming are heard)

Director Daron:(groans off-screen) “I told you to put that thing away before the shoot!”

Equipment Manager:(flatly off-screen) “Sorry”

•Mama Star

-First Born Unicorn:(angrily) “STOP THROWING SH*T IN MY REALM!”

-Director Daron:(heard off-screen) “Cut! Who the Hell is editing the horses dialogue up there!?”

(the camera pans up to the sound room where we see Teen Meteora and Mariposa sitting in the Sound Room with Teen Mariposa typing as Teen Meteora giggles)

Teen Mariposa:(typing with each word) “Every.time.you.come.into.my.realm.you.always.f**K.sh*t.up!” (stops typing and laughs with Teen Meteora)

(they stop laughing when the notice the cameras and go wide eyed with shock)

•Ready, Aim, Fire

•The Right Way

-(the giant Solarian knight is trying to find its balance and then suddenly stands still. It starts dancing as “Old Town Road” plays. We pan to see Shonda and Shinda smugly next to their record player with Teen Meteora and Mariposa smugly next to them watching as Teen Mariposa controls the giant Solarian knight with a remote)

Teen Meteora:(proudly) “We baaaaaaad”

Teen Mariposa:(proudly) “And we like it like that!”

(all four girls laugh)

•Here to Help

•Pizza Party

•The Tavern at the End of the Multiverse

-Eclipsa:(to Moon as she’s positioning her pool stick) “You know, I never got a chance to thank-“ (the pool stick cuts a tear on the table. Eclipsas eyes widen. Meteora laughs from her baby carrier Eclipsas wearing) “Whoops!” (stands up straight covering her mouth blushing)

-Star:”Glossaryck! Glossaryck! Please, don’t leave me here with my dysfunctional family!” (sighs) “Okay”, (waves disinterestedly at Eclipsa’s tapestry) “Hi Eclipsa” (turns to Moons tapestry) “Motherf**ker”

Director Daron:(off-screen) “Cut! Star!”

Star:”What!? It’s what the fans are thinking after what just recently happened!”

Director Daron:(scoldingly still off-screen) “You can’t curse in a children’s show!”

(Toffee is shown casually sitting in a chair next to the Darons)

Toffee:”I believe that’s what the kids call, “Too real””

Star:”Oh, can it Toffee! You’re not really in this episode it’s just a prerecording of your line from our first finale! Besides, my character is just acting appropriately from her mothers betrayal and all the chaos that’s going on!”

Toffee:”Yeah, but who was relieved to be the smartest character in the show?” (gives her a look)

(Rosemary is just sucking her bowl of gumbo next to Toffee in her leveled chair nodding concededly)

Toffee:”Rosemary, sweetie, flip to the last page of the script for this episode please”

(Rosemary puts down her gumbo, wipes her mouth, picks up the episodes script, flips through it professionally and reads through it first)

Rosemary:”It says, “Star turns to Moons tapestry and says mournfully, “I guess this means Toffee was right””

Toffee:(puts a hand to his ear pretending like he’s deaf) “I-I’m sorry, what was that, I couldn’t hear that” (makes a smug look at Star)

(Star looks peeved)

Rosemary:”She says, “I guess this means Toffee” (looks up at Star shouting) “WAS RIGHT!””

Toffee:(turns over his hand smugly in the air) “Surprise”

Star:(has her fists balled by her sides and an angry expression with her teeth clenched yet she speaks in a mellow tone) “I am so glad, you’re dead.......on the show”

•Cleaved

-(Behind the Scenes. Almost everyone from the show is surrounded around The Realm of Magic set murmuring to one another. Daron Nefcy marches onto the green screen set of The Realm of Magic while making splashes on the shallow water spread on the ground. She clears her throat and puts her hands on her hips making everyone stop and stare at her)

Director Daron:(loudly and clearly) “Alright, listen up everyone! This is our last episode of the show and I want this done well! You think just cuz it’s the end you can do crazy sh*t like goof around, or do improve or even curse!? Well think again! This isn’t a playground people! This is a ✨spectacle!✨ You all worked for four years to make this a good show and I want you guys to take this seriously! You don’t know how much pride I put into this to make it my “magical girl fantasy” come true! I had to change a lot in this story to get this green lite, work through sleepless nights, have my episodes get premiered a day after the next in a twisted scheduling and deal with psycho fans just to get this done! Now I want you all to get out there and make this the best damn finale a children’s show has done! Even if we might get backlash for it, F**k it! Cuz we gave it our all! Now places everyone! PLACES! (marches out of the set making loud splashes as she departs with everyone in stunned silence)

(Star and Marco walk onto the set with small splashes as the two watch Daron march off looking silent and a bit unnerved)

Star:(rubs her arm) “Ok.........I guess, we’re gonna give it our all then” (laughs nervously)

Marco:(quietly) “If we ever do the reunion show” (points at Star) “You’re sitting next to her, not me!”

-Marco:(grabbing onto Star) “Star! Ok, what’s the plan!?”

Star:(pointing to an upward waterfall) “Uh, you have to go back through the Earth-“ (the upward shooting waterfall slowly starts decreasing as the lights luminate the set and the wind effects stop. The upward waterfall now just spits out bits of water from the tube as objects are lightly blown onto the set from the giant wind fan and The Realm of Magic turns back to a green screen)

Star:”Is someone using all the water supply again!?”

-Mina Loveberry:(walking smugly past Star and her powers) “And the thing about good ideas is they tend to hang arou-Ow!” (stops and picks up her foot groaning in pain and hoping) “Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! OW! Ahhhhhh! Damn it! I stepped on a freakin’ mini pretzel!” (hisses while still holding up her foot and hopping in place) “God! Why did my character have to go all native with their feet!?”

Director Daron:(heard off-screen) “Can someone get some iodine!.......and the janitor!”

-(Marco is skateboarding down the street and falls off. The big build up music stops on a record scratch)

Marco:(groans and sits up on one knee) “Sorry! That wasn’t the big fall yet!” (under his breath as he’s getting up and adjusting himself) “God damn it, Marco! This your last day of shooting and you’re making an a** of yourself!”

Director Daron:(heard off-screen sternly) “DID YOU CURSE!?”

Marco:(panics and waves his hands in front of him) “No! No! No! No! I swear!” (panics more) “I mean, not as in swearing, I mean as in “I swear I didn’t curse!” Really” (laughs nervously)