#getting frustrates with some stuff i keep seeing
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[Wicked Act II spoilers]
[edited for tone and clarity of purpose, apologies for initial crudeness and frustration]
Okay, obviously I'm biased, but I'm gonna need the Fiyeraba shippers to please set a lot of your people straight about some things. I've seen way too many people trying to say that Glinda is just a selfish bimbo and that Fiyero is a virtuous and selfless figure more worthy of Elphaba's love. I'll set aside for now the idea of "worthiness" in this context. But let's start off with Fiyero joining the Wizard. Hoo boy...
Yes, he was initially somewhat less tolerant of the propaganda against Elphaba than Glinda was; yes, he was secretly trying to find her so he could run away with her or whatever. But honey: those facts DO NOT fully absolve his actions as the Wizard's top officer, or selfish recklessness throughout Act II. I see so many popular threads and posts romanticizing and whitewashing with "oh but he didn't REALLY join the Wizard, he just pretended so he could try to get to Elphie! It's all for love, and he sacrificed everything for her!" As if the literal captain of the literally fascist forces responsible for the oppression of Animals wasn't equally responsible for said oppression?? Hello? Fiyero really didn't think of seeking out Elphaba in ANY other way that DIDN'T involve becoming *checks notes*... the trusted leader of the troops committing all the abuses she's fighting against in the first place???? Like it's cool and all that he helped with Brrr, and it's all well and good that he planned on betraying the Wizard as soon as he found Elphaba (which took literal years, so I guess we're left to assume he was prepared to just keep doing fascism indefinitely if she didn't show up????), but uh... it's kind of concerning to how eager some of you are to make excuses for this dude volunteering as the head of the Ozian Gestapo??? smdh
He didn't accomplish anything from it either, by the way — like yeah, we get it, he did everything he did whilst silently fantasizing about running away with the Witch he was being paid to hunt. Fine. But I can't be the only one who doesn't buy that as an actual excuse???? Like, guys: nobody forced him to join the fascist army — even with crazy ulterior motives. He wasn't coerced into it; it wasn't his only choice or anything. Searching for Elphaba did not somehow compel him to go and volunteer to follow (or to give!) orders in the name of the dictator who was trying to have her assassinated the entire time. He could have just not done all that. (Genuinely so curious how the second film plans on covering that material tbh)
Glinda made several questionable decisions that can be (and have been) debated, but she is still very unambiguously a victim. Her position in the Wizard's regime was foisted upon her. There are things we can discuss, but I find that many folks need reminding that Glinda would undoubtedly have been disposed of (or worse) if she failed to make herself useful. I mean hell: she wasn't even supposed to meet the Wizard in the first place — she was only there because of Elphie. If she'd tried to resist, it would have immediately gotten her labeled the Witch's accomplice. As soon as she'd chosen not to get on the broom, her fate was out of her hands, and all available options were varying degrees of horrible.
That's not the case with Fiyero. He went to the Wizard all on his own; no one ever cornered or forced him into it. Thinking Animals are people, and having a crush on Elphaba, simply did not stop him from carrying out the regime's orders — for years. It's not clear exactly how long he's been captain at the start of Act II, but the clear implication is that he's been a soldier for most of the time skip. I've seen Fiyeraba accounts with headcanons about him acting as a double agent, secretly doing stuff to help Animals — and that's a great idea, it would indeed serve to make a lot of his actions way more palatable — but until we actually get to SEE some of that (maybe they'll add it for the movie version of Act II; we'll have to see), there is nothing in the story to suggest that. He certainly didn't do a damn thing for all those Animals who were enslaved and caged in the Wizard's palace — and we don't see a single other Animal outside of there in Act II, so as far as we know Fiyero has participated over those years in the near-total removal of Animals from Ozian society. In the name of "finding Elphaba". Not fighting for her cause. Just finding HER. For HIMSELF.
It's fine to have a ship you like, obviously — and there is genuinely a lot to like about Fiyeraba, I don't dislike the idea of them as a couple or as friends — but come on guys: please stop those out there idealizing Fiyero as somehow a clear "morally-superior" alternative to Glinda, lol. The dude had power, access, and opportunities, for years, that he could have wielded in any number of really selfless, revolutionary ways. He didn't. And I propose (apparently controversially): he simply didn't want to. And that — at the end of the day — is (much as some would like to deny it) true to his character. He always WANTED to be self-absorbed and shallow, and all his actions are consistent with that. Elphaba saw depth and discontentment in him, yes: but (and I cannot stress this enough) when given the chance, he channeled that in the wrong direction. He didn't confront that and become a better person — for the most part he just displaced and projected it onto Elphaba as an object of obsession, and put on an even thicker pretense than before.
All his actions — regardless of the complexity he has deep down — are those of a man who never gives one fuck about anything or anyone, except (kinda sorta) Elphaba. But even then: at no time does the care he has for her seem to extend to caring about any of her wants or needs outside of sexual validation from him, or how she might feel about his actions, or indeed the impacts of those actions upon her, her cause, or anyone or anything else. I don't think it should be all that controversial to say: he doesn't think through the wider repercussions of anything he does — thoughtlessness is just one of his core character traits. He doesn't think ahead or see meaning in anything outside of what can temporarily excite him, in the moment. I think people place a little too much weight on Elphaba clocking him with regard to his internal pain, and seem to expect (understandably of course) that she is not only right, but moreover that he will grow from that in a positive direction, based on her influence.
But he doesn't. If anything, we get a surprising inverse: he pretty much proves her wrong. Not to say he didn't have hidden depth and all that, like she said: but his hypothetical heart of gold proves not to really amount to much in practice. He doesn't grow out of his shallowness and his self-centeredness: he grows into it in a way that he hadn't quite yet in school. Where once he was only masking an internal listlessness, after he's been cracked open by Elphaba he decides to be genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow, not just coasting by. He performs in new ways — as a soldier, eventually as a "fiancé", etc. — but by Act II we meet a Fiyero who has staked the last remaining shred of humanity in him on the vain pursuit of the only object of his desire that has ever been unavailable to him, and firmly chosen to say to hell with everyone and everything else.
When put to the test, Fiyero sacrifices Glinda, the Animals, and all else that Elphaba actually cared about, to pursue his own unresolved crush from college. Mostly to get in her pants, really — as harsh as I'm sure that sounds. But let me be frank: that is literally all he ever accomplishes in the show. He gives her dick one time, and one of his castles, and that's it. That's the culmination of his years trying to find her — years in which he actively worked as one of the stormtroopers (or even the one commanding them) committing untold crimes against Animalkind (who, again, it seems have been all but erased from Oz by Act II): y'know, the very crimes Elphaba sacrificed her life to try and stop????? He spent the most important time of his life — of his own free will — being a fascist soldier, but he "did it for her" somehow, so according to some, it's perfectly fine. Heroic, even. Yikes??
But let's make something very clear (since my original version of this post caught a lot of flak, including slurs and other rudeness):
I like Fiyero. I find his role extremely interesting (I could do a whole dissertation on him, but I'm especially a fan of the way his proving Elphaba's assessment of him wrong presents a fascinating parallel and contrast with Glinda, which I think is lost on a lot of people). But PLEASE stop with all the misguided Glinda slander and idealization of Fiyero. By all means, thirst! But don't give me all this bullshit about him deserving Elphaba more, or being super deep, or being really principled or noble or whatever else. He does have layers, and quite intriguing ones, but his insides are straw — he isn't meant to have some deep, overwrought emotional core or motivations; he has passions that he acts upon when given the chance. That's it. And that's fine. Actually kind of refreshing in a story rooted in simple children's fantasy but rife with intensely complicated personalities. Fiyero makes it his mission to represent denial of depth and embrace of raw, spontaneous desire — and I for one love that, and wish others appreciated it.
And in all seriousness, shipping wars aside: by the end of the story, it's Glinda who is ultimately vindicated, and has — for all her faults — made the necessary choices to fulfill Elphaba's wishes, bring down the regime, etc. And all that despite herself. She's miserable: not just because of the mistakes she made, but because of her correct moves as well. Fiyero is simply not — and could never be — that person. And that's okay! Like I said: I am not anti-Fiyero. Fiyero's willingness to throw it all away for the sake of sheer, overriding passion is a huge part of what people like about him, of course — and it's an obvious factor in the attraction between him and Elphaba, because she has her own flavor of that impulse as well — but I'd actually argue that it's not romantic, it's his fatal flaw. And thematically that's fantastic! But I just don't believe that it somehow means he "deserves Elphaba more" because he "gave up his life for her" or whatever. In part because NOBODY truly "deserves" Elphie tbh, not 100% (and I question anybody who claims otherwise), but ultimately because I don't accept the idea that his fleeting acts of passion make up for all the shit leading up to them (or even proceeding after them tbh). At least Glinda managed to do what Elphaba always wanted in the end — but I would die on this hill even if Gelphie didn't exist.
You don't have to agree with my analysis of Fiyero and his choices, relationships, etc. — that's fine. What isn't fine is trying to portray Glinda as some kind of spineless traitor whore for the Wizard and Fiyero as a conscientious hero who earned Elphie through self-sacrifice. That's just not the story that was written. It's WAY messier and more interesting than that.
#wicked#gelphie#elphaba thropp#elphaba#glinda x elphaba#glinda upland#wicked movie#elphaba x glinda#glinda#fiyeraba#fiyero#fiyero tigelaar#elphiyero#gliyeraba
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Could we perhaps get more Cliffjumper? I love that loud mech sm 😍
Sure!
TKO Pt 5
Cliffjumper x Reader
• Looking up as Cliffjumper carries in a box of stuff, you don’t flinch when he sets it down and carefully pushes it your way. Because this is his new tactic. Fetching you things. Trying to cheer you up. And he’s trying so hard, wearing you down day by day, because under the gruff temper and frustration, he’s kind. “You didn’t eat again,” he mutters, placing a servo on the unopened MRE he’d left you and pointedly scooting it closer as he kneels in the floor. “If you don’t like those, tell me what you do like.” But you haven’t really had any appetite in days. Your mind turning it over again and again. Not wanting to believe what you know happened. He’s started carrying you to the rec room sometimes and even though the noise is terrifying, there’s other humans. You don’t talk to them, but it’s reassuring to see them laughing and gossiping. Happy despite the weirdness of their situation.
• Watches you pull the box closer and lift things out. He’d found an abandoned home on the outskirts of town and had pulled down a wall to get to the human things inside. Not really sure what most of it is, he’d just grabbed things hoping something might appeal to you. Get you to open up and talk to him instead of the stilted one word answers you usually give him. Expression empty, you lift a plush animal from the box and run your fingers over the bow tied around its neck. “He pushed me, didn’t he?” You ask, voice so soft he almost misses it. Eyes focused on nothing, you wrap your arms around the plush.
• “Yeah,” he says and your eyes close. A hurt part of you insisting that he’d loved you, that he wouldn’t have. But you’d known, hadn’t you? Just hadn’t wanted to accept it. If it hadn’t have been Cliffjumper, if you’d been hit, would he have said it was an accident? That you fell and he’d been grabbing for you? Looking up at Cliffjumper’s serious, unhappy face, you make yourself really look at him. He’s not a monster, even if you’d treated him like one because you were hurting. “Want to talk about it? I’m not going to make you, but if you want to I’m here,” he says.
• Half expects you to get upset again, so he’s not sure what to make of it when your little fingers dig into the plush and you rest your cheek on its head. Finally ready to accept what had happened? Doesn’t say that he’s been watching for you conjunx-to be’s vehicle when he’s on patrol. That he hopes he runs in to the human. Because the talking part he’s never been good at, doesn’t really know how to make this better. But he can get some revenge for you whether you want it or not. “Not yet,” You whisper and he gets it. Gets that being betrayed like that has left scars and it’s why he keeps a close watch on you, started moving you to the floor of his habsuite when he leaves so there’s no way for you to get hurt.
• Maybe there are just no tears left. You feel oddly empty as you press your face against the teddy bear, smelling perfume on it and wondering where he’d gotten it. Aware of him sitting on the floor beside you, not pushing you to talk. Just being there whether you want him to be or not. Waiting on you to talk to him. But you can’t yet, trying to figure out what you’d done wrong. Why he would have pushed you to begin with.
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Welcome Home
Pairing: Zayne x Fem|Reader
Prompt: Mini fic of Reader being a soft!dom with the lads. (Not necessarily sexual, just sweet 'let me take care of you' vibes.)
Word count: 1k
Links to the other lads: (Rafayel) (Xavier) (Sylus)
You heard the front door open and smiled. “Welcome home, how was work my darling?” you called to Zayne from the kitchen.
“I’m…alive.” he sighed.
“Oh dear,” you put the soup on low heat to keep it warm and went out to see him. Zayne was slumped against the front door toeing off his shoes. There were deep lines etched into his forehead, bags under his eyes, and his hair was askew from running his hands through it. “What happened? Something go wrong at work?”
“No. Nothing wrong but the amount of work being put on my plate.” he let you help him out of his overcoat. “I probably would have stayed later to get some more things done but I knew if I did that you’d come over and drag me out by the nape of my neck.”
“Damn right I would have. I haven’t spent the last couple years instilling a sense of work/life balance in you for you to backslide now.” you pulled him in for a hug. “You work so hard, you need to remember to take breaks when you need them. You’re not some machine.”
“I know,” he sighed, pressing his forehead to yours. “Which is why I came home. I know you’d force me to relax no matter what.”
“You know me so well. Now go on, get out of your work clothes and come join me for dinner. I made a very nutritious vegetable soup--”
“And you made sure to--”
“With no carrots. I know.” you rolled your eyes. “And I also bought taro ice cream for dessert.”
His eyes lit up at the mention of ice cream. “Is it possible we can have dessert first?”
“You know I’d do anything for you, Zaynie. But I spent an hour making this soup, you’re getting a bowl full of that first.” you gave his butt a little pat as you ushered him toward the bedroom.
You ladled soup into the waiting bowls on the table and sat down as Zayne reemerged looking much more comfortable. You let him complain about his day and vent his frustrations with the changes they were doing around the hospital that he didn’t think were actually necessary. Your feet bumped against his under the table, reminding him that he was home and didn’t need to worry about work any more tonight.
Slowly he started to relax and the life came back into his eyes as he ate the soup. There was your husband. You leaned across the table and took his free hand, stroking it lightly with your thumb. He looked up at you through the fringe of his hair.
“Something wrong?”
“No. I was just thinking about how all day all you do is take care of everyone else. People put you in charge of their health, the health of their friends and family, their very lives really. It’s a lot of pressure. It makes me worry sometimes that you forget to take care of yourself, let someone dote on you for a change.” you squeezed his hand. “I want to be that person for you.”
“You are that person every day.” a gentle smile grew on his face. “Every time I come home and see your smiling face I forget all my other worries. I know that you will always be there to take my coat and lift my spirits and tell me to just lay back and take it easy for the night. You have no idea how much I appreciate that, how much I appreciate you.”
“Aw Zayne!” you got up and kissed his cheek. “You really are the sweetest, my darling.”
“I’m just telling the truth. I can hardly remember a time before I had you in my life. I must have been a machine to have coped with it all.”
“You were never a machine. You just didn’t have someone to remind you to look after yourself. Sometimes people need someone to come in and remind them that they are a person too. After that, they learn to do it for themselves. Do you think the Zayne from a couple years ago would have left work on time when he knew he could get more stuff done if he stayed?”
He shook his head. “No. I would have been there till midnight, probably would have slept there too.”
“Exactly. Now look at you, you come home to me without me having to so much as send a text. I helped pull you out but you’ve been doing marvelously at keeping yourself afloat. I don’t want you to ever forget that.”
“My flower…” he gazed up at you with absolute love and adoration.
“And it looks like you finished your soup so if you still want it we can have ice cream now.” you said brightly.
“Yes, please.”
“So polite.” you ruffled his hair and grabbed the ice cream out of the freezer. You were going to scoop it out but decided to just grab two spoons and stuck them in the carton. “Since you worked so hard today and you’re being extra sweet I think we can have a straight from the carton kinda night. Have as much as you want.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.” you sat yourself on the edge of the table and scooped up some ice cream with your spoon. “Want me to feed you as well?”
His face started turning red. “No--I mean, not unless you really want to.”
You chuckled and held the spoon out for him. He licked the ice cream off and once he had you bent closer and pecked his lips, chasing the lingering sweetness on them. You noticed when you started to pull away he leaned in closer, chasing your lips.
You smiled, cupping his face. “Is my doctor perhaps craving something a little sweeter than ice cream?”
He gulped, staring up at you through half lidded eyes. “I mean I wouldn’t mind…” he trailed off.
“Come now, my darling. You know better than to not finish your sentence.” you said in a quiet, coaxing voice. “What is it you want?”
“I’d like to go back to the bedroom, my flower.” he said, his spine straightening.
“Much better.” you pulled him out of his chair and quickly tossed the ice cream back in the freezer. “We can finish that later. Right now I think what my hard working husband needs is a thorough massage.”
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2024 retrospective
A retrospective on 2024… I don't actually feel like this was an eventful year, so I didn't think I was going to have a lot to say. It turns out it sure was eventful, just not in the way I was thinking, and somehow this post became this long.
Here on the channel I've been spending a lot of my solo time on the Kirby series. I originally started the All the Kirbys series because I felt like I was in a constant state of having to find something new and didn't have any strong enthusiasm for anything. I wanted something that I could rely on for a while to keep me out of that funk. As the series has gone on I've found that I've already done most of the major Kirby games, so the ones I'm covering for the series are mostly side-games and spin-offs. Games that haven't gone through the refinement process as much as the main games and I've found myself struggling with them. This led to a few breaks this year where I just needed to play something else for a bit. This did allow me to get to some oddball games that have been living in the back of my head for a while. I also finally got to show off R-Type Final 2. This also means there haven't really been any "big" projects on the channel lately. We are very near the end of All the Kirbys and while I do love Kirby games I'm ready for it to be done. There are so many other games, even large ones, that I would love to get to. I feel like I've spent most of the year playing hard or frustrating games so I'm excited to be free and maybe play something I'm more enthusiastic about.
In the co-op sphere I usually let Ogre choose what games we play, but I've found myself choosing a fair number of games last year. This has given me a chance to play some other weird games I've wanted to show off like Ninja Saviors, Psychopomp, Diablo, and I outed myself as a Hololive fan (this was not the first time). Ogre's choices have been more nostalgic, with him taking a look at some of my childhood favorites like Super Metroid and Link to the Past, and him getting me to play through the early Dragon Quest games. I'm really happy with a lot of the game choice on this end and I feel like it's been a bit of a release for me from my solo stuff.
Of course I also stream several times a week and that as well has been a mixed bag. For starters on Thursday I would typically stream as Vivian.exe. Vivian's development has a bit of history that stems from some self-identity issues I've had for a very long time, and my making the Vivian model and later giving her her own voice and persona have been a way for me to explore that. Late 2023 I ran into technical issues and burnout that made me retire her. Though her streams have never been terribly popular a few viewers were sad to see her go, so I made an attempt to refine her model to something I was happier with and solve my technical issues. My hope was resolving these issues would also make me happier to do her streams, and for a time it did. I brought her back in early 2024 with most issues resolved. We came back with Outer Wilds, an amazing game, and it was my first time seeing the expansion. I got to check out a few other games I'd been wanting to play as Vivian but eventually, between House Flipper and Control, I started to burn out again on playing the Vivian character. I was originally wondering of it was the technical issues that made me burn out and was thinking that resolving them may prevent that, but no. The issue is partially the games I chose to play but largely I think, as far as my self-identity issues go, I'm starting to figure myself out and wasn't really getting anything from playing Vivian any more. So as the holiday season ramped up and I got busier I decided once again to retire her.
I also stream on Fridays, just as myself, and I've had a wonderful time there, by comparison. I've played and discovered a number of games that have gone on to be some of my all-time favorite games, like Voices of the Void and Lunacid. I've also played a number of games that were given to me directly by developers that actually looked at the content I make and thought I might enjoy. These games, like Goldenheart and Mars 2120, may not have been to the same quality as some of the other games I streamed but they were still amazing experiences and I'm really happy to have been given the chance to show them. I've also been happy in this slot because of the model I've been using. I really love the chocobo, it feels the most "me" out of everything I've used thus far, which is probably another reason I've been less satisfied with Vivian. I've even had some fun changing the model for the seasons. We changed to pink for most of the year and very recently I changed to blue for winter. I have a tendency to lean more towards feminine representations and I think the pink was part of that, but I feel like the blue actually much more fits my personality.
The Saturday streams have also been a bit of a mixed bag. Saturday is my work night. I stream mostly as a way to hold myself accountable while I get work done on any number of my personal projects. I have spent more than the past year working on replacing all of the standard Doom 2 monsters with enemies from the Jumping Flash series. This is done to accompany my prior mod which replaced the player with Robbit. This was a long, painstaking process that I knew would not pay off in any real way since it was just a monster replacement pack. That said I did an absolute ton of work that I'm unbelievably proud of. I finished the pack and finally released it late last year. I learned a lot, did a ton of work, and it's all work that I really impressed myself with. The only parts of this project I'm not as happy with are that I knew it wouldn't really be worth the trouble from the start, and that it took me so unbelievably long. Time that could have been spent on other projects. But this is now done, released, and I can start planning for the future.
I've been working on other projects as well, though not streaming them. I released Clean Up Hell, a Doom mod that turns the game into a cleaning simulator; and I'm still updating Beyond the Horizon, an idle game available on itch.io. I managed two updates this year and I'm happy to see people attempting (and sometimes failing) the new boss. I've got another update in the works.
My wife has also drug me out to a few anime conventions last year (for work, not play), which were the first I had ever been to. Though I do have a strong interest in anime and the community I still felt very uncomfortable there. Largely I just felt out of place and scared I'd be recognized. I felt like a grumpy father just there because he was drug there, despite that I was actually interested. I'm mostly just socially anxious and worried about how I appear. Similarly, I take my separation of personal and online lives seriously and was worried someone might identify me by proxy of being with my wife. I did, after a short time, find a kind of mask that not only hides my identity but also makes me feel more like I'm supposed to be there, like I'm one of the people there, excited, all walking around in some kind of love-filled cosplay. Once more comfortable I really loved this experience. I loved seeing everybody in costume, seeing everybody so excited, enthusiastic, and yet also so comfortable, often even expressing a wide range of self-representation. This did a lot to improve my own mood and also learn about myself. This also contributed a lot to figuring out myself, what I want to do with myself, and how I want to appear. This certainly contributed to my not feeling Vivian was necessary any more, as well as my want to redesign my chocobo to be something I think better represents how I want to be represented (and not copyrighted). Mostly a lot of personal growth here that I can take advantage of going forward.
Emotionally things were looking up right up until the end of August when I hurt my back. It was a muscle strain, no nerve damage, but it was the worst I had ever hurt my back in my life, and I am not a stranger to back injuries. I was chair-ridden for a week and it was difficult to move for a month after. To this day I still have to be careful and I will probably never be the same. Especially for someone like me, who is known to throw themselves around and push themselves physically, this is really disempowering. I wasn't able to get any physical work done for the rest of the year and started falling into depression as time went on. It hit me hard. Over time my back has felt better and I've even gotten more and more recognition at work which has helped improve my mood. I'm feeling much better now, both physically and emotionally, but I pretty much wrote off the last three months of last year. It was a bad time.
That said, the year is over and next year is looking much better. We're nearly done with Kirby and I'm excited to start something new. Vivian is retired and for the moment that slot is going to be reserved for tying up loose ends. Jumping Flash Doom is done and I can start working on new projects. I'm currently modifying my chocobo model to better appear how I want to be represented (and not copyrighted). It's been a bit of a slump year I feel, but a year is a long time for nothing to go wrong. My channel has also been all over the place in representation until now. I've got Miss Naka as my avatar and on thumbnails, a chocobo on my stream thumbnails and as my stream avatar, and then Vivian making an appearance in effectively her own series.
Going forward I'm excited to turn over a new leaf. We're going to be starting new projects on almost every front and I'd like to soft rebrand under a consistent brand. This may not be quick, as I am just one person who can't do any of this full-time. Thank you all so much for supporting me and the things I do, especially those of you who have been around for years and years that I just can't scare off. I'm going to be counting on your continued support in the coming year, and I very much hope you enjoy what I have in store.
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Nights Like These
Part One?????
Anakin Skywalker x reader
Angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, I don’t write smut
Hi guys sorry this isn’t me adding onto the Jason Todd or dick Grayson fics I started. I will add to those I’ve just been going through it lately and so I just wanna write whatever’s comforting to me rn which happens to be this random anakin skywalker fic. Hope you enjoy!
Summary: You’re basically Padme I’m gonna write y/n but like you’re a senator from Naboo and stuff also you’re a princess because I say so lol. You get kidnapped by a separatist spy who’s been posing as your security detail and Anakin lovingly crashes out a bit.
Warnings: violence, kinda stalking(not Anakin), getting kidnapped (not Anakin)
Anakin had only been on Coruscant for ten minutes and he was already rushing to find you. He’d been off planet for a couple days dealing with after math of the clone wars. Three days ago Obi-Wan contacted him saying you’d been kidnapped by a separatist spy posing as security. Anakin left his mission early, going against the Jedi councils orders. He ran through the building finally finding Obi-Wan Kenobi and Mace Windu.
“Anakin,” Mace says. “Your orders were to remain on your mission were they not Padawan?”
“I haven’t been a padawan for a long time you and Master Yoda know that,” Anakin says.
“Anakin-“ Obi-Wan begins to say before Anakin interrupts him.
“Where are we on locating the princess?” Anakin asks.
“Her security is handling the matter,” Mace says.
“The same security who allowed a spy to kidnap her right under their noses in the middle of the night?” Anakin says angrily.
“Anakin!” Obi-Wan says. “I need to speak with you. Mace please excuse Anakin’s…outburst. Him and I will see that the Princess’s security has the situation under control.”
“Right,” Mace says. Anakin begins to leave when Mace says to Obi-Wan, “keep an eye on him.”
“Will do,” Obi-Wan says. He then rushes after Anakin who’s practically running down the hall. “Where are you rushing to now?”
“Y/N’s chambers, there could be some clue,” he says.
In your room they found clear signs of struggle. The knife you kept in your beside drawer was discarded on the floor. Your sheet was half ripped on the floor suggesting you were dragged out of bed.
“There was clearly a struggle, do we have a hologram of the spies face?” Anakin asks.
“Listen to me I will help you find her, she’s an important girl… a Princess and a senator of Naboo, I support her politics myself I understand the need to rescue her but I must ask Anakin is there anything at all you’re not telling me?” Obi-Wan asks. Anakin opens his mouth to speak but Obi-Wan says, “this would stay between you and I, no Jedi council I just need to know so I can help.”
Anakin hesitates for a moment, “do you swear you won’t tell a soul?”
“I swear on the force,” Obi-Wan replies.
“Y/N and I are in love,” Anakin says softly. “And I don’t mean some childish or lustful attraction I mean proper true love. She’s my whole world Obi-Wan. I don’t know what I’d do without her, I don’t know who I’d be without her.”
“Right,” Obi-Wan says as he places a hand on Anakin’s shoulder. “We’ll find her.”
Obi-Wan and Anakin met with your security detail and learned they didn’t have many ideas of where you could be.
“Coruscant is the largest city in the galaxy meaning it probably has the most cameras in the galaxy and you can’t find her in a single security tape?” Anakin says.
“They must’ve covered her face,” a security guard says.
“You don’t say,” Anakin replies sarcastically.
“Anakin…don’t get angry,” Obi-Wan says quietly.
“I’m not angry…I’m frustrated we’ve been standing here for nearly three hours and haven’t made any progress. She could be dead or being tortured,” Anakin says.
“We’ve got something,” a guard says. He pulls up a file on the screen. It’s a ransom note. 500,000 credits were being demanded for your life. Along with the ransom note was a contact to set up a time and place for the exchange.
“Ask for proof she’s alive,” Obi-Wan says quickly. The security guard does just that and within seconds gets a response. A picture of you, barely conscious, appears on the screen. Anakin looks in horror at your bruised and bloodied face.
“Set up a time and place,” Anakin says.
“First ask if we can speak to her for real proof of life that photo could be old,” Obi-Wan says.
“No, time and place we have to move quickly with minimal interaction that could risk escalation. She clearly needs medical attention the sooner we get to her the better. Set up the time and place,” Anakin says.
“Obi-Wan?” The security says.
“He’s right,” Obi-Wan says.
You had a blind fold on and all you knew was you were outside, cold, and hurting everywhere. You didn’t have any shoes on since you were dragged out of bed. Your nightgown had ripped during the struggle and now there was a huge gash in the side of the fabric. Bruises covered your arms and legs from being thrown around and you resisting being kidnapped. Small cuts and bruises decorated your face as well. Your arms were bound behind your back, fabric was tied so you couldn’t speak or scream for help, silencing devices were placed on your ears so you couldn’t hear the conversation of your captors.
“500,000 credits, as requested,” Obi-Wan says.
“To what do we owe the honor of having two Jedi come for a mere senator,” the man said sarcastically.
“We’ve gotten what you’ve asked for, now we make the exchange,” Obi-Wan says.
“The princess for the money. That’s the agreement,” Anakin says.
“Interesting you call her princess and not senator. I understand she is both but I thought when you abandon your home planet to medal in politics that don’t concern you, you are called senator from there on out,” the man says.
“Enough, we have your credits,” Anakin says.
“Not quite yet Jedi scum! Don’t you wish to know why we took your precious senator? Because we could.” He says. In one hand he holds your neck the other hand he places out for Anakin to hand him the credits. Your breathing picks up when the man grabs your neck. You have no idea what is happening around you or that Anakin and Obi-Wan have come to rescue you. Anakin walks forward holding out the credits. “Easy now,” the man says.
Slowly, Anakin grabs your arm and places the credits in the man’s hand. Suddenly shots from the loft above are fired at the Republic guards and Jedi. Anakin tackles you to the ground, using his body to shield you. Still unaware of what’s going on you panic and try to fight him off of you. Anakin tries to remove your blindfold and silencing devices but you head but him in the face. Obi-Wan races to catch the kidnapper as the republic guards shoot the separatist snipers. Anakin finally rips off your blindfold and ear devices. “It’s me, it’s me,” he says as you stop struggling. He takes out the fabric from your mouth. “I got you, you’re okay,” he says.
“Anakin,” you say with tears in your eyes.
“Y/N,” he says. He quickly breaks your arm restraints and guides you out of the snipers range. The republic guards go after the snipers giving Anakin and Obi-Wan the order to leave without them. Obi-Wan apprehends your kidnapper successfully.
“Get to the hover ship!” Obi-Wan yells to you and Anakin as he walks with the kidnapper.
“How badly are you hurt my love?” Anakin asks softly.
“Everything hurts,” you say as a few tears escape your eyes. You lift the ripped fabric of your night gown aside to reveal bruising on your lower abdomen. “Especially right here,” you say gasping in pain.
“You’re bleeding internally,” Anakin says. “Let me carry you,” You nod, giving him permission to pick you up bridal style and carry you to the ship.
Heyyy I hope you enjoyed this was lowkey so fun to write I love being dramatic lol. If you enjoyed please like and follow for more fics! Any and all positive feedback is much appreciated. I might write part two idk yet but I probably will. Check out my Masterlist if you wanna read some Jason Todd x reader and Dick Grayson x reader fanfics.
Masterlist
#star wars anakin#anakin skywalker#anakin x reader#anakin x you#anakin fanfiction#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin skywalker angst#anakin skywalker fluff#anakin skywalker smut#anakin skywalker x you#anakin skywalker x female reader#anakin x y/n#anakin x fem reader#anakin angst#anakin smut#anakin fluff#star wars angst#star wars fanfiction#star wars fic#hayden christensen x reader#hayden christensen x you
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it's okay.
luke castellan x reader
not requested!
1.3k words
showluke implied because Im a charlie bushnell girl
today has been the absolute worst day. from the start of the day towards the middle of it all of it. has been the absolute worst.
it's making my patience small and I know I'm gonna burst out at someone any minute now. and then I'm gonna regret it terribly.
I just hope it isn't at someone who doesn't deserve it. I mean if it's some douche I wouldn't really feel bad (not at all)
but if its to annabeth or luke or something I would feel so terrible.
in the morning I had to clean the pegasus stables and that is already terrible enough.
then I was late to breakfast so I ate nothing and lunch is disgusting today! so I just sat at my table and I had no one to talk to and when I tried talking I would always get cut off!
I mean I love my siblings but sometimes they talk to much! so I was lonely like all day basically and I don't do good with no one to talk to.
I don't know why I just have to talk to someone or I'll go crazy in my own thoughts and then that's when it gets bad again.
I've tried to fix it or help it but I just can't. it always comes back.
now I have to do training with luke. and don't get me wrong I love training with him it's just. I feel like he treats me like a baby. I've seen the way he let's me win.
I'm tired of it. I'm tired of feeling little. and I know that's not his intention so I try and go harder. and maybe when he realizes I can take care of myself then he'll go a little harder.
I walked to our spot where we train. it was always in the woods for some reason. maybe it was more intimate
"you ready?" I heard from behind me as I was looking for him. "I guess" I say fiddling with my fingers and looking down a little.
"what's wrong?" "nothing- nothings wrong okay?" I say setting my stuff down and getting ready.
"let's just get started?" I say trying to lighten up the mood i created when I saw his confused face.
-
I had tried my best I know I did. and I could tell. he wasn't trying at all!
I mean I get he's only training with me because I could use some help but damn this isn't helping at all!
he's the best swordsman at the camp and he can't even make it seem like he's trying? I'm just getting so frustrated putting my all for.. for.. nothing!
my sword slices through the air one last time before I had gotten to my frustration point.
"why do you always have to do this?!" he looks up for a second before I continue "I mean your supposed to be the best at camp and you can't even pretend to fake it for me!"
"I hate this, I hate this sword, I hate these people and everything!" I say throwing my sword to the floor and going down with it.
it was all really a blur next. but I don't know if its because I was crying or because of my little episode.
I'm sitting on the floor knees to my head and holding onto myself like if I let go I would fall apart like a puzzle and never be able to put myself together again.
I heard lukes voice from the side of me. "hey hey it's okay! what's wrong please tell me what's wrong." he said wrapping his arm around me.
"please I want to know your okay what happened, are you hurt?" he keeps persisting and I don't even know what to say.
'oh I've been mad all day so now I'm bringing it out on you!' see when you say it in your mind it sounds worse.
"I'm sorry luke I'm so so sorry!" I say rocking back and forth slightly. I just whisper to myself sorrys and how I shouldn't have brought it down on him.
"hey hey you have nothing to apologize for." he says trying to get my attention from my head still burried in my knees.
"I promise I didn't mean it please don't break up with me I'm sorry!" I ramble not knowing what to say but wanting to express my sorrys.
he gently lifts my head and cups my cheeks. "I am not breaking up with you over something this little. I could not even think about it" he slowly wipes my tear stained cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.
he allows me to calm down a bit before asking again "now would you mind telling me what happened to make my girl freak out like this?"
"it's dumb. just a horrible morning. and you didn't deserve to have it brought onto you." I say blinking my wet lashes away.
"I don't care for any of that. your my girl and I just want to know what's going on so I can help." he whispers as he kisses my temple. "got it?"
"got it." I say smiling lightly at him. "good now come on its getting a bit late" he says patting my leg and helping me get up.
helloo! I thought this would be cute so I whipped it up quickly before I went to bed! also! the cut was only a few minutes later I would say to support the timeline more!
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BE QUIET - SEVIKA
Modern AU
Badly written smut lol
MEN DNI
Sevika and I were in our room getting ready for the club, the gang are going to some club, so were all busy with ourselves. I'm really focusing on me and getting what i need to get done, but Sevika’s huffing and puffing about the littlest of things and Rans' is not here to listen to it. My makeup is done, my outfit is picked out, and i'm doing my hair at the moment when Sevika brings her B.S. in the bathroom. This Bitch..
Sevika starts putting on her eyeliner and shes not even just doing it mad silently, she's slamming down her stuff and side eyeing me like i'm the one that she was mad at.
"Sevika, what the fuck is your problem?" I asked her straight up because this attitude wasn't gonna cut it today, and i was feeling bold today. Instantly regretted that real quick, the glare Sevika sent me through the mirror almost burnt a hole through my soul and i quickly broke eye contact. "I don't know if you’re just stupid or have a death wish, Y/N, say it again real slow this time,"
Well shit, today's the day i die. I looked back up at her through the mirror and saw she was still looking at me, but now ready to snatch me up. My gaze shifted to her actual figure and not just an image of her reflection, taking in every detail about her, I felt bad for snapping. This was my fiancée and i sitting here, yelling, getting frustrated with her, instead of comforting and understanding where shes coming from.
"Im sorry, I didn't meant to snap at you, it's been a rough day." Only thing left to do was apologize when i realized my wrongs.. WRONG. Now she doesn't look like she wants to kill me, instead shes moving closer to me and she pressed me against the bathroom sink. Sevika was about to say something before Lock knocked on the room door, Sevika huffed and looked down at me, "This only just made it ten times worse for you." That scared me a little bit more than I think she intended, Sevika walked out of the bathroom and went to go answer the door, meanwhile I tried to finish my hair while quite literally freaking out over what i had just gotten myself into.
This could've just been a fun lit night and my dumbass is gonna start something, something I cant even really handle because what I look like fighting my fiancé. Lock and Sevika are now in the room talking about outfits and what Silco’s game plane is for the night. Took me about twenty minutes to finishes my hair, walking out of the bathroom, I grabbed my outfit laying on the bed. Lock bald ass not even really paying attention and is busy talking about Deckard, when i turn around to go back and change in the bathroom, Sevika lets her hand linger on my hip and butt for as long as I was close to her.
Sevika POV
Were in the van on our way to the club and Ran is on my right talking to me about how this experience feels for her, Y/N is on my left and for a moment I forgot about how annoyed I was at her because of how good she looked. My baby knows how to dress, if we weren't fighting i would've dressed my babygirl myself. Y/N is like a little doll I can spoil and look at.
She's all quiet to herself and in her phone, I see the long face bitch Thieram staring at her, and I'm trying to figure out if he is looking for a problem. It seems like I keep getting cut off from my thoughts because Ran asked me something about the club and distracted me. I forgot about it Thieram after that but if he still needs that he cant get that.
We pull up to the club and we make it inside. Every body is dancing to the songs and vibing, some top single booming in the speakers, i didn't care for any of the top new music. So i stood of to the side vibing, until I noticed Y/N’s friendly ass made her way by Thieram and Lock, this girl just knows how to get under my skin. Im used to being treated like her god and i'm not going for this today,
"Y/N."
I didn't scream her name, but i did yell it over the music, so she could bring her ass back where she belongs. Y/N quickly turning around and makes her way to my side, immediately slinging her arm around my waist and resting her head on my chest, looking up at me. Her soft eyes melted my heart a little and I couldn't help but play with her hair and scratch her scalp a little. "If you were this cute all the time, I wouldn't have to F*ck you up," Y/N giggled and kissing my cheek, "I try to be, but you're always so mean to me" She whispered in my ear then pulled back and pouted at me, we had only been there for an hour and it seemed like she was drunk.
Y/N POV
Y'all, Im fucked up. Soon as we got there I started taking all these shots and now it's getting harder and harder to resist Sevika. She's talking to me about how she doesn't like being mean to me but i'm not hearing none of it, the liquor got her looking so damn good. When she's talking I think she realized I wasn't listening when i was just staring at her, while biting my lip.
"Sevika.."
I breathily moaned in her ear, becoming briefly unaware of our surroundings, she started to kiss down my neck and behind my ear. Its baddie baddie shot o'clock, but i'm really not trying to hear all that, we move further to the back of the club, while the gang takes shots. "Be quiet for me tonight, mkay?" Sevika said before resuming what we were previously doing.
Sevika POV
I'm behind Y/N as we're making our way up the stairs to our room, as soon as she pushes the door open and i'm in behind her, the door is shut and locked. When i turn back around from locking it, shes standing at the dresser taking off her jewelry. This makes me go and stand behind her, kissing her shoulder as I slide off her outfit with haste. As soon as she's stripped to nothing, my hand snakes down between her thighs and i slip two fingers into her, "Oh wow, they just went right in, how long have you been thinking about this? Little whore all wet for me? hm?" I chuckled out as I wasted no time going faster, even though I waited all night for this, the night took forever to end and Im tired.
My hand grips at Y/N hair and pushes her onto the bed, now bent over the bed, dripping on display just for me.
Y/N POV
I feel her fingers enter me again and start at an intense pace, my mouth cannot control itself and and I start moaning out, forgetting I'm in the house with all of these other people just waiting to start trouble. Sevika’s free hand comes up to my mouth and covers it while never stopping her other hand,"What did i say? Be quiet"
Her voice made me whimper into her hand and try to silence my noises better, the pleasure was getting to much. My hand grabbed onto Sevikas hand and squeezed to let her know i was getting closer, she took the hint and started kissing my sweet spot which quickly sent me over the edge and covering her hand in sticky honey. Sevika licked up her hand and as i thought she was going to get stuff to wind down with, all of a sudden I feel a hard tip pressed against me. Sevika was behind me and before I could ever ask anything, she was pushing in and out of me slowly, my hand went to press against her stomach and push her back "Its okay, im gonna be nice and gentle with you."
My eyes closed and my mouth slightly dropped open in pleasure, sweet sounds coming from my mouth before covered by Sevika hand again, not wanting to get us caught by anybody right next door. Suddenly her speed rapidly increased, causing my eyes so open and Sevikas attempt at muffling the sounds was failing by the second. With her forceful and quick strokes, my hand grasped at the sheets quickly approaching my release, then sevika just pulls out and starts taking it off.
“Girl what? what are you doing?”
She about to pmo. Sevika moved up the bed and lays at the head of the bed and pats in between her legs, I crawl my way up between them and become aware of the numbness in certain parts of my body. She grabs me by my hair and kisses me, the kiss is drunk and sloppy. My hands run down her body and settle on her boobs, squeezing them, Sevika had pressed the dildo between my legs and slowly started pushing it in during the kiss. After it was in there for a while, she started at a quick pace while making sure i dont stop from kissing her. My legs were tightly clasped around her arm as she was pushing it in and out, my mind began to melt and a euphoric feeling rushing over me as I came all over the dildo and her hand.
I was exhausted and my eyes were forcing themselves closed. Sevika had joined me back in bed and laid beside me, hadn't even notice she had went to clean up everything. I cuddle into her and she pulled me closer, "when you learn to be quiet, I can treat you like my princess , alright baby?" She scratched up and down my back lightly and it soon started to lull me to sleep. I didn't really respond to her just acknowledged what she said and passed out.
Dont say I never gave yall nothing lol, bout to go on another 2 year hiatus
#arcane#league of legends#arcane imagines#sevika#sevika arcane#arcane sevika#sevika x reader#wuh luh wuh
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Ugh, this one again. Pleaful Parent. The only spirit I truly dislike reliving. Slogging slowly through slippery sand and toxic water in an open area, with crabs and krill all around, or hiding and trying to see if it’s safe to make a run for it, trying to move fast enough to not get seen while also moving slow enough you don’t drop the spirit orb. Fun. 🙄
I can do it alone without getting hit or using spells. Actually I prefer running it alone, because most players try to rush and end up running out into the open too soon. Ran in to one of those tonight. They friended me after the first failure and wanted me to let them lead. Uh, no thanks. They made the exact same mistake again in the very same spot, got hit, lost stars, and I think they got frustrated and closed the game.
It doesn’t help that the mechanics seem like they’ve changed a lot with the latest update. I mostly like it. The controls seem more responsive. However, in this instance, it makes it much easier to slide down a sandy hill and lose the spirit orb you’re carrying. At the same time you’re sliding, the camera swings around wildly under some of the overhangs while trying to give you a usable view. And I can’t make a big call to flip crabs without boosting, one of the many bugs now.
Be very careful doing this one today. Krill repellent spells are a great help, but the crab hat trick spell works too. When you use the spell to get the crab hat and burrow into sand, the krill loses you. You can’t stay there too long because you drop the spirit when you do, but it’s a great way to distract the krill so someone else can carry it while you keep the krill busy.
If you play every day, I would suggest even skipping it, especially if you tend to have trouble with it. There’ll be enough candles this season to buy all the stuff. You can skip one.
#pleaful parent#sky cotl#sky children of the light#thatskygame#thatgamecompany#sky cotl before and after#golden wasteland#krill repellent#crab hat spell
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Trying to find a way to lightly word my distaste for the moralization of Dehumanizing your Enemies (and also even just people with like... different life experiences and interests...) while still making it clear there are many people who, through their beliefs and actions, I have absolutely zero desire to interact with and Extremely Do Not Want Around Me, who I do not think should be forgiven or absolved, yet still think remain fundamentally privileged to the quality of being considered a human being
#dont trust this site this isnt reblogable#getting frustrates with some stuff i keep seeing#im not even saying never HATE anyone i hate many people for many reasons#i block people for making things i find morally reprehensible / gross / annoying#(importantly these are seperate qualities but they often overlap)#i just think thinking you have the personal privilege to revoke the quality of being a human being from people#you arent willing to understand#or like the idea that people who you cant relate to are intellectually simpler creaturs with less developed internal lives#is actually like some 4chan shit. which is one of the kindest things i can say i could have said its freak behavior#misc#delete later probably
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I've only read the first volume of Dungeon Meshi but I'm convinced Laios and Marcille are both autistic but two EXTREMELY different flavors of autism, so much so it enables autistic PVP (one sided, Laios is unaware, possibly due to the autism)
#dungeon meshi#LIKE. WITH LAIOS it feels like a v obvious conclusion to come to hc wise but marcille.......#i vaguely know there's some stuff going on where i can guess at a few things (absorbed through osmosis) (as little spoilers as possible)#but to me she is so tryhard autism coded. getting frustrated w herself when she's slower/can't keep up w her peers/friends#physically limited. feeling the need to prove herself/scared of weighing down her allies. needs to do things 'by the books'.#stubborn streak. can accidentally say offensive things due to bluntness/overcompensation becoming an ego#she's even a picky eater.#meanwhile laios said 'hyperfixating isn't enough i need to eat it' and he fucking meant it.#honestly you could probably make an argument for any of them (main cast) being autistic. as with an hcs in general LMFAO#so much love for senshi as well. epitome of being an older dude w a niche interest and seeing an autistic young man#and going 'yeah okay. i can take you under my wing.'#all of this is so real and HAS happened to me (even being plucked up by an old man who noticed my aimless demeanor and put me to work)
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adding onto my last rant from a while ago a little bit, it is fascinating how many people in this fandom completely miss the point of tsumugis character and misconstrue what hes actually about which, ironically, is just what eichi did. and its done in such a similar fashion too, such as making assumptions about his motives, his family relationship, and missing the point in why he chooses to look the way he does. and, time and time again, eichi has been proven to be WRONG about tsumugi. he misunderstood him deeply, and now its eichi whos stuck mourning the past while tsumugi has long since moved on, not the other way around, as tsumugi is on the path of getting his happy ending. and i dont get why people keep trying to take this positivity from him
(s. element epilogue 2)
#sorry for harping on this stuff alot it just genuinely sucks seeing a character you love be so widely misunderstood#especially when if you really think about it#tsumugi is about as blunt and honest as they come#you dont always need to read deeper into a character. you dont always need to psychoanalyze every part of them#you dont need to reason everything#sometimes people just Are Some Kind Of Way#and eichi failed to understand that and made the wrong assumption about tsumugi#and i feel like this fandom keeps doing the same thing#because he can do and say unconventional things#and when he makes jokes he sounds super alarming or like an utter freak#its frustrating when people continuously doubt tsumugis words when he speaks so earnestly about his life#hes honest to a fault. he has no reason to lie#you can argue that “ohhh tsumugi just doesnt realize how fucked up he is!” and like Yea sure theres an element of that#but ive always read the point of his character to be him overcoming these hardships#because he cares so fucking deeply about every single person around him#and he never assumes malice. because he is such a genuinely kind hearted guy#and what makes tsumugi so interesting is that he can kind of SUCK at getting that across#because no matter what people never understand his actions or intents because of how weirdly he acts#and neither does this fandom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#natsume and tsumugi are built on being opposites. if natsume is a known liar surely we can put two and two together?#theres alot more that can be said on this topic and ive been meaning to for a while but honestly i just dont have the energy or brainpower#also i dont want this to read like im yucking anyones yum. its just frustrating as someone who is very mentally ill about these characters#he has clearly endured traumas too like im not ignoring that. its super obvious. but his character is about love and growth#you can go through literal HELL and be on the brink of SUICIDE and still end up a happy loving and forgiving person#and i think thats what his character is about#nat rambles#nats enst posting
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If we’re talking about sexism in BSD can we talk about Dazai Osamu’s Entrance Exam? (Not the anime adaptation) I really really really hated how Dazai and Kunikida would talk about Sasaki right in front of her like she wasn’t even there?? And just how they generally were with her…Reading that light novel was a genuinely unpleasant experience more times than I’d like to admit solely because of how egregiously gross it was when it came to Sasaki's character and how the guys would treat her. I've never seen anyone talk about it but it's been bugging me for a while now.
(个_个)
I understand how that's all sorts of fucked up. I haven't read the Entrance Exam novel but in my opinion the Sasaki / Kunikida / Dazai anime scenes rub just as wrong. There's really the whole deal of talking in front of women like they were lesser / objects which is plain atrocious. But then again, the bsd novels produced the unfamous Naomi description, so it's really the author giving their worst apparently.
The sexism in bsd is pathologic. Something I've brought up before but that is really explicative to me, Dazai going “The murder must have occurred in the early morning, because that's the only time of the day a woman wouldn't be wearing make-up”. And it's probably silly of me to pick up on such a small thing when wearing make-up is debated within feminist spaces itself, and it's probably something I have personal issues with, but the way in the story it serves the role of an objective hint, something plain and unconfutable, that women are expected to wear make-up at every hour of the day and them not doing so is just absurd and unthinkable… To me it really speaks of how the world of bsd is a world were women are expected to fit a determined ideal that is very distant from reality, and the author really has a very limited understanding of what women are actually like irl.
If we’re talking about sexism in bsd, can we talk about what was up with the Yosano / buisnessman (?) scene in chapter 7? It's been two years since I've watched and read that scene, and I still can't figure out what it's supposed to mean or convey. First, Yosano is shown being tame and overly polite towards someone who was being extremely rude; then, after he hits her and tells her to know her place, she replies “Well, a thousand pardons, sir. Would it be more womanly for me to crush your puny ××××× under my heels, perhaps?”. Now, her reply is somewhat funny, but really, doesn't mean anything. And I'm not talking about the censure. Why is her behaviour so fluctuating and inconsistent? What does womanhood has to do with anything here? Why would she be so polite and then suddenly backtrack? Really, why was she being polite in the first place to someone being so vulgar and disrespectful towards her? Honestly, that doesn't feel Yosano at all. At most it feels like that's supposed to portray how a woman is expected to react in an imaginary and unrealistic world, but that has so little standing potential irl, not even Yosano in this manga could hold the charade for long, and the result ends up looking awkward and nonsensical. Every time I see this scene I'm just like… What is going on here. Not even in a judgemental way, just as in “I seriously can't understand what the author was trying to say with this”, and frankly, I don't think they do know either. It really makes evident their struggle to write female characters, like women were this strange, foreign, very abstract concept that's impossible to crack or relate to. And when the answer is so simple, that you shouldn't write women as an unknown and indecipherable species, but simply as people— it would almost be endearing if it wasn't so detrimental. I won't even get to her “It is an era of equality for men and women” line which, put in the context of this manga, comes off as the most unfunny joke ever. Here, I can see what the author was trying to do alright, nodding to irl Yosano Akiko feminist viewpoints, but making the character Yosano talk in cheap feminist slogans to rival mcu movies ends up doing her a disservice more than anything, and I doubt it would leave the actual Yosano Akiko positively impressed at all.
If we’re talking about sexism in bsd, can we talk about how Kouyou should be the next pm boss, and the fact that the spot is canonly reserved for Chuuya instead is insane and nonsensical and outrageous to the point that even CHUUYA agrees on the fact that she should be the one? You know, Kouyou, the powerful ability user, experienced, senior in hierarchy, who has been shown to be both loyal to the current boss Mori and close to him on a personal level? Compared to Chuuya who never wanted to be the boss in the first place? But he gets to be either way, because the concept of a woman pm boss is just unthinkable. I feel like there's more reasons to cry for that Cannibalism stage play scene than the Flags' voices.
If we’re talking about sexism in bsd, can we talk about Higuchi? Can we talk about Lucy? Bsd offers so many examples of its sexism, we could be here to talk about it for days. At this point I feel like I might come across as someone who loves hating on things, but in reality every time I write a post of this kind it's a desperate prayer to the author: “Prove me wrong! Please, prove me wrong! Write women with layers and agencies! Expand on their virtues and flaws and ambitions! Dedicate narrative arcs to them! Prove me wrong!”
#On one hand I'd say let's try and keep the negativity levels low but on the other you know what?#Actually speaking of this from time to time can be helpful for everyone.#And I truly get how genuinely frustrating it gets ESPECIALLY to see it ignored and not talked about so like.#I've changed my mind in reality we should TALK about this. And if you need to vent about this in my inbox feel free to.#nobuko sasaki#akiko yosano#kōyō ozaki#bsd#bsd negativity#mine#people asks me stuff#If the wording sounds dramatic in some points there's a very simple explanation for that and that is: I like to be dramatic
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"But why would Sonic still be friends with them why wouldn’t he denounce them or treat them like the villains they are? Why won't he realize they're just evil?"
First of all, has it perhaps occured to you that Sonic loves/cares for them no matter what they do and doesn't want to hurt them if he doesn't have to? Has it perhaps occurred to you that he doesn't see them like irredeemable villains and it's not because he's a dumb dumb idiot?
Second of all, haha keep talking and I'm gonna unroll my character analysis essay. "They're just evil" yeah that's rich. Bet you thought the ending of the series was about "redeeming" them too, huh?
#sondread#sonine#sonic prime#sonic the hedgehog#knuckles the dread#nine the fox#I'm gonna be a prime sonic defender forever at this rate#Anyways I channeled the me from between seasons 2 and 3 who was frustrated at seeing the stuff people were saying about my favs#Prime Sonic somehow seems to compel people to start foam at the mouth as they call him stupid and deride him for being hopeful and seeing#the good and people#and then somehow the people who are willing to be okay about Prime Sonic's tendency to try to save everyone and towards self sacrifice#can only believe it as long as sonic stupidly and naively believes his beloved friends are good people as these 'friends' so skillfully#manipulate him#Then when Sonic sees them at their worst canonically those people start foaming at the mouth when he doesn't instantly denounce or try to#imprison/kill these characters#It makes me less frustrated when it comes to Dread because I can get what people are seeing and unfortunately whatever talk transpired#between Sonic leaving the yoke in s3 and everyone else coming to fight Nine happened offscreen#You do have to dig at least slightly beyond surface level interpretation to get the reading that Dread is more than just an evil guy who was#pretending to not be#(although I would have thought how he originally tried to save his crew from experiencing him at his worst by keeping himself away from his#obsession would mean something but I digress)#With Nine to believe that he's always just been evil and manipulative to Sonic so he could backstab him you quite literally have to ignore#everything we see across the whole series and the feelings that come through in the final episodes of seasons 2 and 3#and ONLY believe that what Renegade and Shadow say about Nine (and the chaos council in s3) is canon#And yes I do think that if you thought S3 was about redeeming certain characters so the ending could be happy go lucky then you are missing#the point of what Sonic Prime tried to say and of Sonic’s own philosophy#I daresay you missed the point of some of these characters as well if you think their arcs are about how they end with them redeeming#themselves so they can become good people and therefore deserve life and a home#fandom wank#i just be ramblin
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I've always been fascinated by fandom history, and I know I'm not the only one. It's interesting to see how fans of pop culture can create a culture of their own, and in the modern age of social media and the internet in general, that culture is as widespread as ever. Unfortunately, that also means downsides are becoming bigger as this culture becomes widespread, and it's saddening to watch, maybe even concerning.
I don't discuss these things to be preachy, especially considering how I've fallen into several of these pitfalls before, and have perpetuated some of this behavior in the past. To say otherwise would make me a hypocrite and a liar, and I firmly believe this goes for most people in any fandom. I was just thinking about this recently, and how a lot of the biggest stressors in what should be our stress relief really can be pinned mostly into a few central talking points, which I would love to discuss to know if I'm not just going crazy here
The concept of Big Name Fan has evolved into a position of authority on fandom, which does not fall to anyone regarding subjectivity. No one in a fandom is an authority except the creators themselves, who have every right to stay away from the fandoms they have birthed.
Popularity in general being conflated to intellectual authority as well, especially on websites with public stats, particularly following counts. The algorithm is no benevolent god, but people will sometimes see someone with 30k followers and think they are correct on a minor non-issue that has spiraled into discourse, especially when compared to someone with 30 followers. This also is just...a bummer when fanon evolves into perceived canon, and newcomers to the fandom can't post even innocuous meta or headcanons without it being perceived as morally/intellectually incorrect.
Monetization of fanworks, but especially zines, have led to a hypercompetitive atmosphere that only escalates the bitterness and resentment. This is not a universal problem, but many zines across all fandoms habitually accept the same artists and writers, or diminish the value of fanfic due to the limitations of physical printing. The application process has devolved into such a disheartening debacle for a majority of people I see, and the way it is often framed as "your work just wasn't good enough" when it's really about what the mods deem mass marketable will destroy just about anyone's self-esteem after repetitive rejections, and will give some frequent zine runners a false sense of final say over the community (not usually, but it can happen).
The level of distrust for anyone new attempting to start a fan project is just so depressing nowadays (and this one we sadly can blame on a few people by name, but the ones who have sent this issue spiraling still don't care and that just sucks. I feel horrible for everyone who has been tricked).
Somehow comment and anonymous asks have gone backwards from "don't feed the trolls" to "suck it up, at least you're getting comments." I have seen some of these comments people have been told to suck up. It's not okay in general. It's particularly gross when it's an anonymous hate message unrelated to the fanworks themselves, perhaps born out of resentment or bearing an ulterior motive. And some will even attack and defame character due to identity. It's not subtle. It's not okay. People should absolutely be dunked on for this, and I gotta say I'm sick of unsolicited concrit being enforced as positive either. If they didn't ask, don't give it. There's a reason a lot of fic writers some people adore suddenly go ghost, and they can't even talk about it.
Don't like, don't read has been discarded in favor of don't like, tell others don't read and also don't write. Transformative works don't have to fit into a canon or even in character mold. That's why they're transformative! It's a different type of artistic expression. If you don't like it, chances are good it simply wasn't meant for you. It's not bad. Don't shame others, god especially not for non-issues such as a t/b preference or a different gender hc, preferred haircuts, types of animal you imagine them as in another lifetime, I could list literally anything here and I bet there has been a fandom fight over it.
Exclusive yet publicly advertised community Discords that will bar you from invite if you're not one of the cool kids. I have unfortunately fallen into this trap before, and refuse to ever enable or endorse that behavior ever again. This isn't about friend groups either, it's about fandom-dedicated servers that flaunt themselves as a VIP club instead of what they are: a friend group. I also don't even know how to broach the subject of private accounts that turn into fandom tea accounts with dozens if not hundreds of followers, only for people to be angry if someone isn't exactly okay with horrific stuff being said in general, let alone about their mutuals or friends.
I know none of this will likely ever change, and tbh i'm so tired of it all, but...does anyone else know what I mean? I'm stressed out whenever I try to enjoy myself, because popularity and a strange business mindset is steadily taking over fandom spaces. I'm not saying people should stop trying to make stuff that sells, or that people universally do any of this, but fandom is evolving into a thing I'm not sure is good. idk anymore
#parker says things#the last point stresses me out particularly after a HUGE mess during the 2010s#in which an ex mutual deepfaked a twt for someone they hated to try and tell others they were being made fun of#and then it went wrong anyways but god#i keep seeing these patterns over and over and somehow they keep getting worse!#Why has being mean become so normal? and popular? Actually it's more like#why has being mean but ESPECIALLY IN PUBLIC become acceptable?#if you couldn't say it to someone at a con without getting backlash don't say it here#I may not like those discords but at least the tiniest ones with 3-5 like minded people won't poison a community#and unfortunately I worry about fandom community! It's stagnating or becoming toxic but publicly now#people have always been like this but now it's becoming...okay to bash others again. I hate it. Don't be like FF dot net comment sections :#i lost my train of thought partially bc I wrote half of this and had to pause but#idk it's just frustrating! And I'm actually not okay with it! I've dealt with my own stuff but my friends and even people I don't know-#have dealt with a million times worse#I wouldn't wish this crap even upon people i don't like!! what is wrong with some people
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i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of y’all act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.
that’s fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and don’t know any other way. like yeah i’ve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i don’t understand what i’m missing. and it’s frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like “uwu embrace weirdness!!” where they’re like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and can’t figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.
weirdness is value neutral. let’s stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, it’s not a choice for everyone. it’s fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and they’re going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. it’s difficult to talk about this without feeling like you’ll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining “no one understands me” but the thing is. sometimes you don’t grow out of feeling alone and different, and there’s no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think you’re just fishing for pity.
#most of it is stuff i can’t help like!!!#coworkers and i don’t share a lot of interests so i’m always like. yes i’ve heard of that show but haven’t seen it. no idk that band sorry#and they’ll like. talk shit abt other people who share my interests without realizing that i also like those things#so i just have to sit there and take it#i feel like i don’t have a lot in common with my friends even. a few shared interests but very different lives#in my experience the conscious choice has been to try to keep up with what’s popular but it’s just. not interesting to me#i got bored and forgot to finish s2 of stranger things and never picked it back up#even alt subcultures have gone kinda mainstream and i never quite slot in#let’s not even touch the gay culture ‘flags’ that are extremely online and unrelatablr#and the most frustrating thing. every time i try to talk about myself and my interests i feel people shutting down#one person i know. open mouth sighs in exasperation when i open my mouth#i don’t know why you’re making it my problem that we’re different#i know there is supposed to be a niche out there for everyone but some of that feels like#those niches are falling prey to marketability. if you’re too far out of the mainstream. too out of touch. it can’t be helped#a lot of messaging online is like. embrace weirdness but only if it’s subversive in a very specific way#too normal to hang out with self-proclaimed proud weirdos. too weird to hang out with normies#like i thought the thing was to disavow performativity. i’m sorry i don’t find the same things interesting#i don’t care about the office and you don’t care about the hundred years’ war. that’s fine. why is that seen as a personal fault of mine#i feel like some of the reaction i get might be bc it comes across as hipster shit. idk#i’m literally just oblivious and looking for any kind of indicator for social interaction#but so often it feels like the onus of finding common ground is on me. i have to listen abt things idk but no one cares what i have to say#i think what makes it more frustrating is this reaction from people who claim to not care. do their own thing#and then get annoyed when i do mine and it’s. different#instead of being like ‘fuck the mainstream! conformity is bullshit! be yourself!’ it’s like#‘fuck the mainstream because it doesn’t appeal to me personally and i’ve made my own club!’#and this is not going to come out right because i’m just at my limit and venting and don’t know how to say things the right way#so people don’t misunderstand me#i just happen to never like the Right Things and know the Right Things and act the Right Way and idk how else to say it other than#can we be more normal about weird people#idk it’s hard to talk abt this without sounding like i’m just complaining but i’m more bewildered and trying to state things as i see them
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Noooo…… first it’s Yuuta and Shoko, now they’re yo-yoing back around to Megumi.
#no they’re bashing megumi even more than ever now…. sometimes some characters aren’t built for all of THIS AND ITS OKAY#he’s forever traumatized bro he just lost his sister in front of his eyes and his body was the one that killed her#same situation with Gojo who took care of his sister and he from when they was toddlers and up#megumi doesn’t want to live anymore and yuuji has already tried getting through to him he’s completely broken and even if he’s saved megumi#might not ever be the same#I feel like fans keep on forgetting that these are kids going through all of this stuff that even some of the hardest adults wouldn’t be#able to handle#they bash him but a lot of these same ppl forget what happened to getou and love him unconditionally#they’d say “’well other characters have lost a lot as well and they’re still trying!’ and I just have to#restate that again; simply not every character is built like some hard boiled shounen badass jjk is not the usual shounen that a lot of#fans still refuse to see tbh like it’s kind of built different 🗿#it’s core genres are literally horror/psychological horror like no one if gonna be bouncing back like Naruto bro#and in Naruto’s case he never got to see anyone precious to him die in front of him#who knows what Naruto would’ve went through if sasuke was killed in front of him#but then again#Naruto was already a crazy ass#he vowed to kill sasuke and die with him so nvm#but megumi ISNT crazy like that that’s the difference ajsjsjsj#he’s always been one of the more rational characters amongst his peers#he’s so normal!!! everyone else is fucked up or got larger personalities than he does#maybe ppl are pissed off at the fact that megumi simply isn’t fighting back… it’s frustrating but he’s in pain bro#I don’t see him making it out alive at all either if I’m being real#Yuuji might be one of the only characters to survive at this rate I doubt Yuuta is even going to pull through after the techniques 5 min#are up either…#rambling#the point it…… as sad as it may sound all of the characters fighting so hard now are doing so because they simply have to#Sukuna is literally a calamity and these are the only characters left who will even stand any chance against such a great entity#they don’t have much of a choice man#Gojo tried to prepare his students for the future so that they’ll be strong enough to fight back anything together. not alone#Everyone is doing what they can now
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