#getting better everyday

[chrissy-kaos]

Holy crap I feel like a completely different person today. I woke up feeling amazing! I have so much energy. It’s so strange. I don’t remember how it felt to feel like this. It’s wild. I’ve been sick for so long that I thought it was normal to be tried and lethargic all the time. I hope this is a sign of things to come when I’m fully recovered.

Also I got to get out of the house for a bit. Fresh air and sunshine does wonders for a persons mental health. Plus I got to eat at my fav burrito joint so I’m very very happy today!

Btw that’s post 2 days in a row.. I might be back 😉

[cmx1000]

Wisdom Teeth/Dental Health

I haven't been to the dentist in over 11 years.(I'm 28) I have had a terrible history with orthodontics and a crowded mouth. I do what I can to take care of them now but for years when I was deeply depressed, I didn't.

My teeth are in terrible shape now and I have about six broken teeth in the back of my mouth, mostly wisdom teeth. Four of those six teeth are cracked off at the top of the root and I can't really use them to chew. I'm not sure when I'll be able to get them all removed.

Where I live it's very difficult to get your wisdom teeth out under anesthesia. I had an appointment in early September that I ended up walking out of because I couldn't handle being under only laughing gas and numbing shots while they pulled out my teeth. At this point I'm scared of me getting some sort of deep infection that spreads deeper than my mouth.

Because my teeth are so sharp in the back, the side of my tongue rubbing up against the ridges will make my mouth sore. Not having these teeth removed is changing what I can eat every day, how I chew, how I drink out of straws or cups. I have the option of going to the Emergency Room to have them removed but I'm now scared of being under anesthesia.

I plan to overcome that fear this year and figure out a way to get them removed not in an Emergency Room.

[cmx2000]

Trust

Three or four weeks ago the clock on my laptop and computer monitor were wrong. I trusted it when I saw it only to find out an hour later that it was way earlier in the day. Since then when I sit down to write and I look to check the time to document it in my notes, I instead look at my phone for the time. I think it's funny that since that one time it hasn't been wrong but I can't trust it without double checking my phone. It took one time for me to not trust my computer clock.

It's taking way longer than I thought it would to trust it again.

CMX2000

[whozkay]

since I was fired from my previous job (not the last), I had to stop going to the therapy. that was super sad!

for this time, I struggled to handle negative emotions. I could never understand how people say so easily "avoid negative situations/thoughts". that's so easy when you say it from a comfortable place, they never understand how it feels...

but after I tried to kms and failed I got an emergency entry for the psychological health care program here in my city.

one month with this new psychologist helping me and I can see the world from another view. sometimes the things she says to me hurt. not in a bad way. she says in the best way she can, but realise I'm not perfect, I have a lot of problems and I'm not as good as I imagine, hurts a little.

it hurts to make me grow!

“think before you speak”, she told me once. I thought it wasn't that big of a piece of advice, but I tried... I was SO WRONG!!! I avoid a bunch of stressful situations just for thinking “should I say something? what should I get from talking about this? a big nothing! so let's be quiet”

sometimes I forget to think, I'm still learning.

the psychologist told me last week she was proud of me cause I could reflect about this and start to practice in real life, even though I'm still not perfect, but I'm trying and learning

[krussyarts]

Family

[hoofpeet]

Guy who has to go through his own blog every so often to to re-learn his speech patterns

[sweetsourbelt]

i canr stop drawing tsubomb

[choccy-sippy]

Spring? No. I'm in hell, the sun is on steroid

[ricky-mortis]

So, I heard it was Holloweane Week?

It’s a bit late in the week but I wanted to draw something for it, and I liked this prompt.

The way I see it- their roles may have been swapped, but their dynamic? Exactly the same.

[cmx1000]

Buspirone and Hydroxyzine

After a decade of being med free I am finally learning to trust medication again. I've been taking Buspirone 15mg a day and Hydroxyzine on an as needed basis which is about 2 times a day right now. I'm on day 10 of meds and I'm not sure if the changes I'm seeing are from the meds or my own doing.

I'm still forcing myself to do certain things but it's working and making it a little easier to do each time I go to do said chore/task. Also I'm learning not to value my days as good or bad based off of productivity. Which is easier said than done.

I still document everything I do throughout the day to be able to see what all I spent my time doing and what I accomplished at the end of the day. I keep an Ableton Log, Reading Log, Learning Production Log, Med Log, everything. It's been helping me keep track of my tasks and goals and actually seeing the progress on paper. It hasn't become too obsessive yet so I still think it's healthy.

Before I even started meds I moved my therapy to every two weeks instead of every week because I've been doing better. That action alone makes me feel like I'm genuinely getting better. I don't have anything I'm spiraling over every week because I have learned how to train my brain to not worry as much. I wouldn't be able to say this about myself in Nov-Dec 2024. That's just how much progress I've made in the past three months though. It's working and I just have to keep trying.

I am changing and I'm making progress everyday.

CMX1000

[gemgdynamight0]

Katsuki not needing to use his crazy moves like cluster anymore (because apparently now there are only some petty thieves and not dangerous villains 🤡) is truly sad. It's like you cutting off a butterfly's wings.

(and in his fight against afo he got even faster than this because he learned how to control his quirk awakening)

"some birds aren't meant to be caged" and all :))

[rozugold]

There are 2 Tommys in my head and they are both mentally ill

[lotus-pear]

i think you guys are onto smth..

i unironically got invested in this HELP

[venompinks]

queen ✴︎

[lisutarid-a]

[princessefemmelesbian]

Maybe I’m just being dramatic but it does legitimately scare and sadden me to see that a lot of transandrophobia truthers are literally just…young boys. Like, actual children. Like you’re not even old enough to vote yet and you have your whole life ahead of you and yet you are being manipulated into joining an mra group that hates trans women with a passion and thinks that men are oppressed in society for being men, and constantly uses Black men as their talking point in order to sound diverse and inclusive, meanwhile they’re also appropriating and misusing terminology specifically created by Black women to talk about our own oppression in order to get their misandry point across…to say nothing of the fact that the largest people in this group(including but not limited to its creator!) have misogynistic rape/detrans kinks centered specifically around preying on lesbians and trans women and this is something that is normalized and defended by the vast majority of transandrophobia truthers, or at least defended viciously by every single transandrodork that I’ve ever encountered who argued with me(a lesbian!!!) that actually there’s nothing wrong with getting off to the corrective rape of women because two consenting adults can do whatever they want in the bedroom(yeah right)! Not to mention I have yet to come across a transandrophobia truther who wasn’t also a raging die-hard Zionist.

And that’s why it disturbs me so much to see young trans boys jumping onto this transmisogynistic hate train like you guys realize these men don’t have your best interests at heart, right? They’re only going to manipulate you into being a sexist entitled asshat who shuns and bullies the trans women in your community and sees them as oppressing you. Like I know you’re still in middle/high school but you can still think for yourselves, you can choose to be better than this, you can choose to actually learn about feminism and realize that it’s not actually misandry that oppresses you, it’s transphobia. Misandry doesn’t suddenly become real because you slap a trans paint over it that’s not how it works that’s not how intersectionality works that’s not how any of this shit works. There are better trans men to talk to about trans issues who know that the patriarchy is real and don’t shit on trans women in order to speak out about trans topics, so go seek them out, okay? You absolutely do not have to listen to shit that the “male supremacists but trans” group of lowlives has to say. Hell, tell them to fuck off instead! Please, I promise you that there are much better options, there are ALWAYS better options, and you still have time to escape before they fully radicalize you into basically being an incel. There will ALWAYS be another way. ❤️